#they're absolutely thinking about what might have happened if they'd stayed together

[booasaur]

For All Mankind - 3x08

[peachesofteal]

Hey Peach!!

I just read the ultimate angst post you made and I'm literally not ok but I absolutely love your writing. You write angst so so well it's astonishing and I strive to write at your level one day.

But I can't get all these possible scenarios out of my head about that au so I thought I might share them with you.

So I'm thinking Darling is going to the motions of grief and anger as the boys leave and so decides to ignore them completely. Like she goes ghost mode on them. They text her their apologies on the day their leaving and for obvious reasons can't keep in touch after that.

Darling is a complete mess for the first couple of months after their departure. Living in that apartment alone would become too much for her. Every nook every coner holding precious memories of their times together. She would cry looking at the knick knacks they'd left behind accidentally. Fantasizing about what could have been if she had told them, If they hadn't decided to break up on the spot without consulting her, if they had communicated better. But it's too late now, their gone and she can't even let them know she's pregnant, not that she wants to anymore after being dumped like that.

She decides eventually to pull herself together for herself and her growing child. An apartment move was very necessary for her mental well-being so she decides to move somewhere her child can have a fulfilling upbringing. A fresh start somewhere where she isn't consumed by their memories. Somewhere that doesn't remind her of them when she's walking through the park where she would pick wild flowers together with Johnny to put in pretty vases on the dinning table or going to their favourite grocery store and shops looking for ingredients to try new recipes together which might not always turn out great. Or when the local pub owners ask where her pretty men are when their away on ops. Those little things would chip away at her if she had to think about them constantly.

So she moves and begins her difficult and lonely journey as a single parent but still trying to enjoy all her first milestone of her pregnancy. She goes to these wellness classes for expecting mothers where she has to watch couples enjoying their pregnancy together while she sits there all alone. It's difficult to attend these check-ups and classes but she manages for the sake of her child. She might have a little gender reveal by herself or with some friends but in my head darling might go to a bakery with the little slip of paper the maternity nurse had given her and asks them if they could make a cupcake with the adjacent colour filling on the inside so she can celebrate at home, probably with some nice food and her favourite movie. Deciding the name of the child, painting and decorating a nursery, going clothes shopping she wishes she had them there with her as much as she doesn't want to admit missing them, she also might cry alot along her journey but she is constantly learning as she goes along to give her child the best possible life she can provide. But as her mental health fluctuates she finds it increasingly difficult to take care of herself as she nears the due date to give birth.

All this is happening while the boys are on their very difficult and taxing mission. Trying their best to stay alive for each other while dealing with the guilt of hurting darling the way they did . They try to rationalize their decision to break up with her to dissipate their growing guilt but to no avail. They're constantly thinking about her, wondering how she's faring, if she's eating well, if she's recovering from the hurt they caused. They hope to come back alive to talk to explain their reasoning for their decision and try to make it up to her again. Not realising the darling they had left behind was long gone by the time they would get back.

Sorry for going off on a tangent I hope you enjoy my little take on your au. The real angsty parts comes when they get back a realize she's gone for good. Thanks again for blessing us with your writing 💗

I am throwing writing tools at you! Books! Notebooks! Pens! Paper! Laptops! Disco baby au 18+ Mature themes.

I love all of this, but one thing that really sticks with me is the image of Darling, sitting at the kitchen table, alone with a cupcake. You don't have a party, don't have friends over, you just go to the bakery and get this one, singular cupcake, made for yourself.

And then, when you finally get home, after a way too long day at work, your body sore and back tired, you sit down in front of it.

You always thought, that if you were to have a baby, this is something you'd do with your partners, if you even chose to do it at all. You always envisioned not finding out, leaving it for a surprise when the time comes, but this... none of it feels right. None of it feels like it should, and you think that means you shouldn't wait. You should get to know, right now, since there's no one else to share it with, no one else who even cares.

So, when you finally cut into it, and finally see that stupid color on the inside (because also, screw this whole concept to begin with) you don't feel joy. Or excitement. You feel crippling sadness, and you rest your head on the table as you start to cry, cradling your belly with a hand when the baby starts to move.

This was supposed to be good. We were supposed to be happy. You can't not think about the way Johnny would whoop and cause such a ruckus at the news, the way his eyes would light up and how he would pull you in for a devastating kiss. You think about Simon, and the way his eyes would grow wet, even though he swore he wasn't crying, how he would hold you and tell you how happy he is, how much he loves all three of you now. You, Johnny, and little baby girl.

You can almost see them, in the flat, almost hear them, and if you close you eyes, you can picture them sitting on either side of you, holding your hand, kissing your skin slowly. Making you feel loved. Making you feel safe.

But they're not there. You're alone. You, and little baby girl, doing it on your own.

[luvring]

Can I ask for headcanons about the LIs from Touchstarved and how they would deal with the MC who is suffering from menstrual cramps? Unfortunately, I'm in those days, I always get very sensitive and I can't eat anything (sometimes I even feel nauseous and vomit).

Sorry about my English

TS CAST WITH AN MC ON THEIR PERIOD

gn!mc | aaaghh i hope u feel better soon/now anon that sounds awful :(

ALL

i want you to know (partially because i don't want the notes to be repetitive) none of them would mind cleaning up any vomit, stains, etc. when they happen. literally none of them!! they've all seen worse, had worse happen, and care about mc. of course they'll take the time to clean up, change sheets, rub their back (and hold back any hair) as they hover over the toilet etc.

the others would ask kuras to check on mc if the symptoms are super serious and it could be some underlying condition. vere. ....mc is important enough to get kuras bro trust me. one of the others might recommend it if not him bdjhgbd

KURAS

! Finally a doctor that won't invalidate your experiences or just send you home! kuras would take their symptoms seriously and prescribe medication, etc as needed (i don't know how advanced they are surgery wise but if it was safe and possible...!)

he offers to let them stay at the clinic with him, but they both know he'd prefer they did assuming it isn't too difficult to set up

...methodical? when it comes to checking on mc, especially when they're suffering the worst of their symptoms! even when it seems like he's super busy and doesn't have time, he makes time.

he's good staying calm at signs of pain, strong emotions, etc., but it's a little different because mc isn't Just a patient. sometimes he can't help his worried expression when mc is in obvious pain, and he wouldn't buy tea for just anybody now would he! or let them pull him to the bedside and chat to distract them, comply when asked to hold his hand over their stomach, etc.

food wise.... he learns mc's favourites quickly, at least what they can stomach. best soup flavours, best drinks, soft foods... plus the nearest places he can run to. mc can be like Kuras It's literally 10 minutes away but he's like.. What kind of doctor would i be if i let my patient leave in this state. Can you lie back down now?

when they're home, kuras is freer to spend time with mc if they'd like! if mc says he has to cuddle because they're in pain, he can slip into bed with them. (he might be a little awkward the first couple of times because, well, cuddling isn't a usual treatment he offers to patients is it? and i don't think he's cuddled a lot in general, but he gets the hang of it!)

LEANDER

the wet wick isn't really where you want to be when you're dealing with cramps, nausea and anything else. so when mc mentions that they'll probably be dealing with their period soon and they tell him how bad it can get, leander makes sure to find a more comfortable place, even if it's just for a while. (or you know. maybe they live together somewhere else already and that'd just be very lovely and convenient !)

if there's any Magic Treatments he can do himself to soothe their pain, do some magic equivalent of a heating pad, etc. leander will absolutely use them! though he might make a joke like, Is the spell as good as me though? and when mc is like you know what? yeah. he's like :( / oh i see how it is...after everything we've been through /joking

i don't care if he doesn't like naps he will nap with mc if they ask. He Will. even if he doesn't stay the whole time, he'll at least rub their back and wait for them to fall asleep.

at their beck and call while he's around!! they need help getting to the washroom? he's there to help. they want a little snack? he's bought some! they ask him to run a hot bath? do they want him to help them wash because he will! their heated towels aren't hot enough anymore? no need to get up, leander's already on his way. they want to cuddle with him? What kind of guy would he be to say no?

if mc is more sensitive and their emotions are kind of all over the place, it probably surprises leander the most LOL. like everyone's caught off guard and worried walking in on them crying, but leander is most visibly like wait shit what happened? what's wrong? are you okay? did someone do something? because he's done everything he can to make sure they're comfortable like woah!!😭

VERE

do you guys know if vere's job is a 9 to 5 deal... well. while he's on the job, trust me when i tell you he's thinking of mc more often than he'd like to admit. he wishes he could check on them himself, but if he can't, he'll ask one of the others to. you'd think ais considering ais is the only one vere likes, but depending on what you need, he'll have to suck it up and ask. leander maybe?

yeah okay he'll rest his tail over your stomach and let you play with it now stop giving him puppy eyes and asking /lighthearted /silly. he'd appreciate it if you didn't squeeze very tight, like please hold onto something else besides his tail. but staying near you and getting that something isn't at all an issue for him!

if they want to cuddle Vere and not just his tail, he pretends he's Relenting and Allowing it, but he does enjoy it! (you can tell by the smile on his face and the way he shifts the pillows and blanket to make sure they're both comfortable for the foreseeable future.) he lets them rest their head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat, and he wraps his tail around just for extra warmth.

tones down his provocations and attitude when he realizes mc's state, and his more serious side comes out. if mc is confused/surprised by this, he rolls his eyes before carrying on to tell them to stay hydrated, and which places have the best teas/warm drinks. (he knows the owner of the one on the corner two streets down, and he's sure they'll lower the price for you.)

stubborn mc who ignores vere telling them they should stay in bed, or trying to help them there. vere who watches patiently as they're obviously in pain, until they give in and look at him. vere who, just once because he's vere, is like oh? what happened to not needing help? before mc tells him to shut up and he wraps an arm around them

AIS

makes sure they're drinking enough water and eating what they can despite his teasing. says shit like "okay, if you drink enough water i'll buy you some sweets" "think of how disappointed princess will be to find out you're pushing yourself" etc etc. of course when he's especially worried about them not eating, he'll take a more serious tone, but it's what he can do to keep their mood up.

even though exercising while you're cramping and bleeding often sounds. Miserable and Impossible. exercising regularly can help when the time comes! ais offers to join them on a couple walks a week :-) if mc thinks that they can do some light exercise, he'll be there to help them and suggest some easier workouts they can do. i don't think he's a huge yoga person, but he's got some stretches for sure!

guy who goes to buy some things and comes with more than mc expected or listed. he shrugs and says it's better to be prepared, and he was there so why not? he even asked some of the clerks for their opinion and was told some nice advice from a stranger who overheard him and who's he to say no.

might be below leander in terms of cuddling enthusiasm, but is still more comfortable than the others! he'll wrap himself around them, keeping a light pressure on their stomach and rubbing circles against their skin. he never complains about quietly staying and watching them, or talking if mc asks him to distract them. (they wonder how many of his stories take place in a bar. Have you never had a fun experience perhaps at a festival or park? he feigns offense before telling a 'nicer' story anyway.)

more modern au than TS but. i don't know if you guys saw that video where they asked their boyfriend to get pads with wings and he bought. pads and chicken wings. i'm crying soo bad like ais would do that as a joke. he'd take the wings out first then show mc he did, in fact, get pads with wings after they stare at him like ???? BEJHSBGJHB

MHIN

the first time it happens? they spot mc obviously in pain and watch them for a while because, well, that isn't their problem is it? they're just watching because they're curious, not because they really care. inevitably, they go up to check on them and bring them somewhere more comfortable because it was "hard to watch"

 it's like... mhin knows what to do, but there's hesitancy because they feel awkward About Offering. do they just hand mc the warm towel? do they ask them to roll over? if they ask what mc wants to drink, will they have the ingredients for it? they leave a bowl by the bed and say "in case you vomit" then hesitate before telling them where the washroom is, but the bowl is just in case. the others are more comfortable asking and taking initiative when it comes to mc y'know. but once they've established a relationship, mhin is quick to know what they like and need without mc even asking! ^^

"mhin" "hm?" "i think i'm dying" "you aren't dying" "i'm going to die" "don't die on my favourite blanket" "what the hell" (/lighthearted) (they do in fact care very much and feel bad. if mc wasn't busy suffering maybe they'd have noticed mhin preparing tea and a hot pack across the room.)

doesn't even try to entertain the thought of mc getting up and doing something strenuous. mhin shoots them a look like ? are you kidding. stay here and i'll take care of it. they won't force mc to stay in bed and assumes they know their limits, but that also means if mc pushes themself too much, mhin is all the more 'annoyed' (concerned!! they're concerned more than Angry, but can you please listen to them for once!)

omfg mhin bringing mc to a place where stray cats like to visit just to cheer them up a little. mhin handing them some food to hold out in their hand. there's a specific cat who really likes to purr and cuddle that they get the attention of just for mc. yeah.

[nocturnesmoon]

Writing this while laying in bed and trying to combat my period pains. The painkillers are in fact not working, so maybe fantasizing about these two will instead-

Simon "Ghost" Riley x John "Soap" Mactavish x Transmasc!Reader

I just feel like Simon and Johnny would be amazing at caring for you, doing your period. Maybe they wouldn't be the most knowledgeable at first, but they are quick intuitive learners, and seeing their darling in pain isn't something they can stand for.

If they happen to be home during your period, expect the utmost and best care of your life. Don't feel like eating anything? Don't worry, they've made something just in case you get hungry. Need to take a shower but don't got the energy, don't worry, I'm sure both of them would be happy to help you out.

There is not a single craving they will not help satiate. Chocolate? Johnny's got something to spare, chips? Already in the cabinet, gummies? One of them is going to the shop while the other one cuddles you. That one very hype specific food craving that's really an absolutely ridiculous request? What do you mean ridiculous love, they've got it right here.

I normally get really bad cramps, and the only type of painkiller I'm allowed to take, doesn't help whatsoever. And if that was the case, I just have to believe that, the boys would then do everything else in their power to make you comfortable. They've got the heating pad ready in the charger, a hot beverage on the bedside table. If the heating pad isn't enough, they'll help with pressure instead, by either laying on top of you or having you on top of them and pressing their rough hands on the spots where it hurts.

You're not left alone for a second, unless you specifically request the alone time. If one has to go somewhere, the other will stay with you until they get back. He would put on your favourite movie, while you lay in his arms and snack on whatever it was you're craving. Don't feel like watching something? That's okay, you could read a book together, play a game, or even just lay and talk.

If there are chores to be done, they'll get it done for you, unless you insist that you can manage. Even then, once they see you huff and puff in pain, they'll practically order you away from the task, taking over for you and finishing up.

They know you're perfectly capable of doing it yourself, even in pain, but they'd rather have you resting on the couch, as comfortable as you can get, while they take care of it for you. You already do so much for them when they're home from deployment, doing everything you can to make sure they're resting, and spending quality time with you. Let them return the favour once in a while, making sure you're well cared for.

They know that your period can be a source of dysphoria, when it turns extra bad. They won't stand for your own self-deprecating thoughts. They'll reassure you at all the right times, as if they can read your mind. Reminding you that, you are their beautiful boy, the only man they could've ever wished for, that no matter what your silly head makes you think, they've always seen you as exactly who you are. It doesn't matter what you think your physical appearance might say, to them, you'll always be their man.

Maybe I'm just delusional, but I just feel like they'd be amazing for you. No matter what you might need from them, they'll do their best to provide. They love you so dearly, if there is any slight thing they can do to alleviate your distress, it's already been done before you can even ask.

I think the fact that I'm laying here alone, and I don't have a Simon or Johnny to take care of me should be a crime.

Anyways that's all Moon out-

[eldritch-spouse]

okay so odd-ball thought abt the zombie asks floating around;

santi and his lil obsession get separated, he’s absolutely GEEKED out, already stressed and fatigued, so he’s kinda reverting back to his OLD old snappy self.

a few weeks of this happening and he’s reached his peak, just a complete douche and asshat when patches (i’m assuming if the Clergy gang were all together when it happened they stayed together cause numbers=safety most of the time) runs up and has this fucking lump in his arms covered with a blanket— santi instantly smelled his lil lover and damn near rips patches’ arms off to get to her and just kinda stands there holding her and purring or smth

then they fuck cause yeah it’s santi and he’s a mix of absolutely starved and carnally obsessed with this sudden reunion with his lover.

(i love zombie aus. sorry if this doesn’t match his personality or traits, i’m severely tired but i HAD to blurb about this for a hot second-)

TW: Noncon moment.

It's not unlikely that he'll revert back to that mindset. After all, it's almost like his younger days in the Rings, always looking out for himself and trusting no one.

He might become worse, actually, since there's so little people out there who retain their intelligence and social norms. Santi doesn't have to be constantly checking himself and acting in ways that purposely charm others around him. There's no one to charm, no one to seduce, therefore he doesn't need to exert energy in thinking of tactics and lines and what kind of expressions he should make. Overtime, those mannerisms fade and he becomes a more raw, brute version of what an incubus truly is deep down. A predator looking to fuck the energy out of you so it can sustain itself.

His coworkers don't make a big deal out of it, they've known Santi for a long while, especially Grimbly, and they know how he gets when in a truly foul mood. They've seen him devoid of charming mannerisms. They don't care for his tantrums, but there have been instances where Santi simply picks fights with them just to prove something to himself he can't even understand, just to take his mind off things, because it's easier to brawl and sexually harass someone than to admit that he needs help. That he's broken and sees no real reason to exist anymore except to remember you.

In this state, Santi has no qualms being incredibly sadistic and hunting down anything he considers worth the effort, hurting them as the brute acts necessary for his feeding unfurl. They're not even people, these walking husks... And the survivors he does find, they'd rather try to kill him, so they're not any better than the zombies are they? They don't deserve an inch of his mercy, so they can squirm themselves to death on the incubus' cock for all he cares.

When he gets you back, as surprising as it is that he even got you back at all after basically mourning your loss and spiraling into the worst version of himself... Santi doesn't know what to do with himself. It's like being hit with a brick to the face. And he realizes what a cunt he is.

You won't love him like that.

It's been so long, he can barely crack the same smile he used to for you. His claws are way too big, his body's covered in scuff marks from willingly getting into dangerous altercations. Santi forgot half the charm he used to have, and the remnants he's trying to put back on are forced. Unnatural.

When you wake up in his arms, it's all the demon can do not to blubber like a fucking baby. He doesn't speak too much initially because aside from "I'm so glad I found you again.", he's probably going to spit something tasteless and ruin the moment.

Santi finds himself unintentionally being brutish to you, snapping, speaking too roughly, grabbing you hard, subconsciously treating you the same way he would his prey. He sees the fear in your eyes and instantly freezes, realizing he's a danger to you and not recovering fast enough to avoid damaging the relationship.

The others around him, the ones that can still stand him, try to offer Santi advice and comfort him when he distances himself from your hurt self.

It all culminates in an intimate moment where Santi stops listening to you and just takes. You tell him to slow down, and he doesn't. It's a few minutes of him being a senseless rutting beast until he hears you sobbing. Not the pleasured sobbing of someone who has orgasmed too many times, the sobs and cries of someone who is in pain and scared.

You're the last person he wants to hurt, and Santi just wounded you in the worst way he possibly could.

After that, the incubus comes clean about what happened to him, who he was in his past, what happened when he thought he had lost you forever. And more than that, as much as he hates to do it, Santi gives up most control of things to you while he works to restore the incubus you fell in love with.

Because if you considered leaving him now, he would probably never recover at all.

[runawaymun]

I'm sure you'll get/have gotten other asks about this same thing, but I would love, love, love to know more about your ideas for a messy kidnap fam fic. :)

(also, accidently unfollowed when trying to hit the ask button. it's finally happened)

Ask me about my not-yet-written-fics from this list

The Messy Kidnap Fam Longfic

Under a cut for length

It all starts with Mae and Mags finding Elrond and Elros in Elwing's wardrobe post-oath-induced-rage fugue.

Elros and Elrond put up a hell of a fight to Not Get Taken and are absolutely convinced that a) Elwing has been murdered and b) they're also about to get murdered.

Maedhros gets bitten by Elros >:3

Mae and Mags have a debate about What To Do With them. I feel like maybe Mae initially is like "Put Those Back Where They Came From or So Help Me" at Mags, but the only idea they come up with is maybe leaving the twins at the edge of what's left of Sirion in the hopes that they'll be found (because if they tried to drop off the twins in person they'd get attacked on sight by Gil Galad and Cirdan). But Mae can't stop worrying that they'll die of exposure that way (he still feels awful about what happened to Elured and Elurin at Doriath).

They both realize at the exact same time that Elwing and Earendil Might Want Their Kids Back and Might Be Willing to Do A Lot to get them back, and so Elrond and Elros would be excellent hostages who could potentially be ransomed for a Silmaril.

So Elrond and Elros are very much hostages at this point. Mae and Mags do not really interact with them at all (save for Mags poking around in their minds to try and get some information out of them. Which Mae disapproves of but doesn't care enough about to stop him. He's in a bad way rn. Like his last other baby brother save Mags just died and he himself just participated in a massacre and he doesn't feel particularly good about it. They didn't even get a Silmaril and their own forces are fragmented post Sirion. My boy is barely keeping things together. They're together with duct tape and string at this point).

The twins are carted along the road back to Amon Ereb but kept under too heavy guard for them to be able to escape.

Also absolutely nobody in camp understands how to look after Peredhil. The twins do not get enough food to start with and they probably get sick from the elements, and this does go unnoticed for a WHILE.

They get back to Amon Ereb and are promptly put in a horrible little white room with a lock on the door. Again, Mae and Mags are not much interested with interacting with them at this point. Mags is a bit more interested but that's mostly because the twins remind him of Ambarussa and he's also emotionally unstable.

Mae sends ransom demands to Elwing, Earendil, and Gil-Galad, and they wait.

The twins are still hungry and sick, and convinced that they're gonna die. Also Mags keeps interacting with them and it's scary.

(They do get a window because keeping elves or elf adjacent beings away from view of the stars is unthinkably cruel, even for Mae and Mags. But they also still continue to be pretty neglected, and there is really nothing to do in that room. Elrond goes pretty catatonic at this point and Elros starts trying to tear holes through the drywall).

At some point it occurs to Mags and Mae that the twins are in poor condition and that's not really good when it comes to trying to ransom them.

They don't really know what to do though and so they consult some humans in their service, who are understandably like "uhhhhhhhhh they need more food and some medicine probably boss. Also it's kind of cold for them actually like sure it's fine for an elf but these are actual half-human babies).

Cue the twins finally getting some basic help. I have a vague idea that they bond with a human nurse that's sent in to look after them because Mae and Mags just cannot be bothered to Think About It.

Mae especially is pointedly staying away because it's too painful to be around the twins because a) they remind him of his brothers and b) they remind him of everything awful he's ever done and he can't handle that guilt.

Things continue to be Bad For A While.

Also I forgot to mention that Elrond and Elros have a poor grasp of Quenya at best, and so they really don't understand anything being said around them. They're picking it up fast though. Especially Elrond.

Finally a rejection of the ransom demands comes back.

What the fuck.

Mae absolutely goes into a rage over this because he literally does not know what else he can do. Because apparently Earendil and Elwing are on a boat somewhere with his father's Silmaril.

"What are we doing with the twins?"

Elrond and Elros are more convinced than ever that they're gonna get killed.

It's agreed that the twins should be dropped off somewhere to be found by Gil-Galad, and that trip begins. They likely send a letter to Gil-Galad announcing that they're returning the twins.

Gil-Galad has absolutely no reason to believe that the twins are alive and smells a trap. He does not come to pick up the twins.

Mae and Mags do watch (or have someone else watch) from a distance to make sure the twins are collected. The twins are not collected. The day wanes on into night. It gets really cold. The twins start bawling because they really think they're going to die now.

Mae really can't bear that and also at this point he's mad at everyone and everything.

They recollect the twins and decide that they're just going to have to look after them now until they're old enough to go back to Gil on their own.

Cue a very long tiptoe process of Mags getting attached to the twins and Mae refusing to (he's actually a big softie though so eventually he does).

I have way more ideas about later stages but this is already getting ridiculously long, sorry.

TLDR: (but I can elaborate more if people want me to): Mae and Mags finally start to get a grasp on Peredhil needs but wow is the damage done.

Elrond and Elros are veeeery slow to trust.

Super codependant relationship forms, with Elrond especially terrified of being left again because Mae and Mags are the only people who seem to want them now. Elrond starts emotionally regulating Mae and Mags just as much (if not more) than he used to for Elwing.

Mae and Mags get very attached to the twins and use them to cling to the last remnants of their personhood. This is not a good thing.

There's obviously more here I've thought this out very thoroughly.

Love grew between them but it was fucked from the start, essentially.

Also um something something the twins losing their Sindarin and not being raised in their Sindarin culture and essentially getting unintentionally completely colonized by Mae and Mags :/ icky and unavoidable.

[butmakeitgayblog]

How would you have wanted to see the season 3 bedroom scene go down if Clarke didn't hold back her obvious thirst for femme disaster Lexa in her nightgown

Have them fuck nasty 😤

Nah I'm just kidding

For real though, I actually took today to think about that because I think if you asked everyone in the fandom, you'd probably get a big variety of answers. There was just so much going on at that time and so many raw, unsettled emotions and resentments on Clarke's part. Realistically, I can absolutely see why she turned Lexa away (not the how tho, cuz damn).

But if I had to rewrite it through my own rose colored glasses, I would've liked it if Clarke had asked Lexa to stay and talk. Not even about the mountain or their people or anything that wandered too closely to those still healing wounds between them. More like asking Lexa about her childhood. What it was like growing up on the ground. Maybe about the different clans or what Lexa had dreamed about becoming before she was called to be commander. And I would've liked to have Clarke tell Lexa about the wonders of space. Not many though - that subject still holds too many nightmares. I would've liked to see them get to know each other beyond the pictures they have of each other as leaders and what they have to be as those people, and instead started learning more of the pieces of themselves that they'd learned to lock away from everyone else.

I would've liked to see Clarke grow sleepy to the sound of Lexa's soothing voice. Yawning while deliberately denying that she's yawning, even as she shakes it off and smacks her lips from it. And then of course, that fond little smile that Lexa always gets around Clarke, the one that barely kissed the sides of her lips but shines so brightly in her eyes. Usually in response to the skai girl's stubbornness, but that's neither here nor there. I would've liked to see Lexa offering to leave because even though the night had taken a very strange and unexpected turn, it was still lovely, and wonderful, and she likes to think of herself as chivalrous when circumstances allow, and regardless of what did or didn't happen, oh, you could see just how happy her little Heda heart was to have had that time together.

Without the usual looming thundercloud of Clarke's animosity.

I would've loved to see her trying to urge Clarke to go to bed and rest, only for Clarke to ask her to stay a little longer. To join her on the bed - sensibly, only because the bed was more comfortable than the old spindly chairs of her guest suite - and keep talking about all the good things on earth. Because she usually can't sleep anyway and because... that was the first night since she'd walked away from Camp Jaha that the demons of her past have been quiet.

I would've liked to see Lexa's internal battle of her emotions play out in nothing more than a series of blinks. A stuttered breath. The catch in her chest as she unfolds and refolds her hands in her lap. All the tiny cracks in her armor that you have to be looking for just to see, but they're the ones that give her away every time.

Because even tho she'd hoped— Even tho she'd thought, maybe Clarke's relief at her winning and staying alive might mean something for them... Even tho she'd come here with every intention to open herself up to whatever Clarke was willing to give to her, to connect with her... she hadn't at all anticipated the night to go quite like this. So intimate and bare, but not at all in the way she'd yearned for when she'd knocked on Clarke's door, blood still hot from the battle and the look Clarke gave her across the arena.

This was sweeter than she'd anticipated, somehow deeper, and her hunger and love for this woman is all the more terrifying for it.

But Lexa does stay, because she really is quite terrible at denying Clarke anything within her power at that point. Not that she wants to anyway. Not now that Clarke looks at her from under her furs with soft questioning eyes, instead of darkened pools filled with betrayed disgust.

I would've liked to see Lexa settle down on the bed, above the furs with her back sloped against the iron headboard that is terribly uncomfortable against her skin, but she'll bear it. And as she picks up the thread of what she'd been talking more to settle her own nerves than because she actually knows what she's saying. She's just babbling, which entirely unbecoming on The Commander but what else she can do when she's this close to this woman?

And ok fine, she's not a saint.

She does like the feel of Clarke's eyes on her. She likes the thrill that rushes through her at her own boldness careless ease when she adjusts her legs, lifts her knee just for comfort and, oops, lets the loose hang of her nightgown slip down to pool at her hip. It's an~accident~ she doesn't bother to fix, just like when the thin strap falls down off her shoulder as well. She's just comfortable in Clarke's space so it's totally, totally fine.

It wouldn't escape her (or us, the faithful viewers) that Clarke doesn't look away.

And I would've liked to see her watch as Clarke grew sleepier. Watched her very obviously struggle to stay awake by asking Lexa the most mundane questions could think of through her half-slurred haze as Clarke adjusts and readjusts and every time she finds herself that much closer. Until eventually there's nothing for it, she's just pressed against Lexa's side, and it's nothing to wrap an arm around Lexa's waist and push close. Lean her head on Lexa's shoulder and breathe in the scent of whatever soaps Lexa used in her post-battle bath (you hear that, Clarke. S o a p). And I would've liked the scene to end on Clarke drifting off to Lexa's comfort. To the feel of Lexa matching her every breath. To the gentle weight of Lexa pressing a kiss she'll insist in the morning that she was too sleepy to remember to the crown of her head.

That's how I would've liked to see it go.

[tomwambsgans]

tomgreg wedding would for sure not be very big. tom is a Wedding Guy but he also already did the Huge wedding and it did not turn out great. and there's no benefit this time to making it basically this massive public event that includes all their colleagues. even just taking all the people that tom may know as vague acquaintances through his career or from college, i feel like he would be hesitant to get all those people to come to another wedding, where this time he's marrying the previous bride's cousin. even if it wasn't a gay wedding, that's just so fucking messy and un-self-aware lol

so no, it could not be nearly as huge. but at the same time, they fs do not want it to look comparatively like they're eloping. it's got to still be a nice venue and a serious event. they're not trying to hide. both tom and greg DO want to show off how happy they are together, and to make this a point of very seriously and publicly declaring commitment and love. just also, it has to be careful because of tom's previous wedding.

inviting the roys would def be a huge discussion for them bc obviously it would be awkward as fuck for them to be there, but also by the time they're getting married it's certainly not a secret. shiv being there would be deeply awkward but not inviting her, if her brothers were, would seem targeted. i can't imagine a world tbqh where shiv becomes remotely supportive of tomgreg so honestly she probably wouldn't even WANT to come, so it's just a matter of appearances with the invitations, but they gotta account for how likely it is that any of the roys will call their bluff and actually come. roman is very likely to fuck shit up on purpose. shiv might even, too. kendall would care much less about tomgreg and more about tom being ceo, which would sour things for him. but personally I also think it's likely tom will stop being ceo and go on to do something more fulfilling some years post-finale, so maybe it would fine on that front. i imagine tom getting gerri and karolina to give him the rundown on exactly how public his and greg's relationship is, what the optics are, and what could happen to the company were they to get married... and perhaps, using the information he gets as an excuse to try to get out asap. but anyway connor and willa are definites, of course.

basically my thinking is that no matter what, the tomgreg wedding is getting pushed way out in the future just to make sure it doesn't look to the public like tom is remarrying super fast. it IS supposed to be a publicization of their relationship but they don't want their wedding to seem like it's for the whole world, so there's some amount of disregard that they need to have for the public eye, too. they're not trying to show off bc they don't want it to be reminiscent of the tomshiv wedding, but they do absolutely NEED it to be decadent. they don't want it to seem at all performative but it also can't seem too obviously like they're trying not to.

anyway with all this in mind i'm gonna go through each (main) potential tomgreg wedding venu and their pros and cons but also just how they might go

rome

for obvious reasons it has personal significance to them, and having their wedding at a place like that would reinforce that this is a personal event that just happens to be public. it would give the excuse for an explicitly ancient roman Theme, at least vaguely, since the venue itself would certainly have actual ancient architecture. i love to imagine the custom suits they'd certainly commission, the red and gold and white, and the inevitability of rings engraved with nero and sporus too. the main con here, of course, would be how on the nose it all is. i can imagine tom deciding that it's too much and would maybe in fact be bringing too much of their personal history out into the open. maybe they'd prefer that that stay between them.

elsewhere in italy

there's a ton of appealing wedding venues all throughout italy, including places that are not rome but still related to nero and sporus, but my main thought tbqh is how they related to wine. i've fully settled by now into the headcanon that tom and greg start running a winery at some point post-series, so that tom gets to have a more satisfying version of his metaphorical wine baby with greg. i've mentioned it before but as someone in the liquor business with a not insignificant stint in wine-tasting, i think what would fit them best is a cab franc. therefore they'd most likely be staying in the northeast of italy to do that. and obviously that doesn't mean their wedding would have to be in the same place, but it would be neat if having the wedding there doubled as them checking out the area. this could also put them around Lake Como, which was a place tom expressed interest in when discussing wedding venues with shiv, so. at the same time, knowing he explicitly mentioned it to shiv does feel like a downside. just bc i don't thing the tomgreg wedding would/should be remotely a redo of the tomshiv wedding.

st. paul, minnesota

it's funny, i knew about lake como in st. paul before i knew about como lake in italy. it would be a really fun little twist if that was the como that tom at which wound up having the actual wedding with the love of his life, specifically in his home town, too, to bring it home that greg understands who tom really is. the biggest downside of st. paul, imo, is also simultaneously an upside -- that the venue would be small. so they maybe wouldn't get to have much decadence, BUT they'd be trading that for the excuse to keep it small. as in, the excuse of family. of course it's contentious exactly how supportive of the wedding tom's extended family and old friends would actually be... though I think that if nothing else, they might come for the fact of his success. and those would be the exact people that tom would love to prove his happiness to.

old new york

this is the setting that i honestly think tom would have chosen for his first wedding if it were up to him. like, put up against lake como i imagine him taking a minute to waffle but ultimately deciding on this. once again the tomgreg wedding shouldn't be a redo of tomshiv, but this in particular is just SO tom. and also, i think, the last one that shiv would have chosen. for tom, nyc was a lifelong aspiration, and for shiv it's nothing. having like a 1940s nyc ball-style wedding is probably tom's dream, and i imagine greg having similar lingering awe about that whole vibe. biggest downside is how much more likely it is for it to get trashed, either by roys (cough cough roman) or by people who hold some kind of grudge re: ATN. but good security would probably render that null anyway.

cruise ship

biggest upside is that it would once again be an excuse for the wedding to be relatively small. and narratively it's a fun way to bring it back home to their beginnings in Parks & Cruises... and for that same reason probably not a great idea? like realistically, it's maybe playing with fire a bit lol. but there are so many ocean-related motifs around tomgreg, and also they're kinda stupid, so i can still see it. a destination wedding in particular, with a built-in honeymoon, also feels perfectly decadent that way. AND they could combine it with either an italy option or the old new york option.

[honey-minded-hivemind]

No no no, YOU'RE good, I love how intricate your ideas get!

BRO YOUR BRAIN POWER, Everything would only be more heartbreaking (how did you even do that) if reader was the extant child/relative of one the yans, my brain explored the idea with the professor or magneto, someone who wouldn't have suspected reader was their child, what would be worse for reader is if nobody knew and it was found out AFTER they're back. I'm evil :)

I could Imagine the reader, being the sweet selfless thing that they are, and being the only one who can't use their powers to escape like the others can, they might resort to begging the three to run and leave them behind, it's the very last thing any of them want, OH MAN it'd tear them up inside, but especially if reader were the oldest, the kids could be swayed to listen, even if they really really don't want to.

🐑 Anon

🥺🥰☺ Thank you, 🐑 Anon!!! I'm enjoying these small asks posts, as it's helping me discover how I want to write the first main story post! It's helping me think over how each character would act, possible relationships, and exactly how far I want it to go... So thank you, and for everyone else, who keeps asking about this au, and sharing your thoughts and ideas for it😊

And yes, it would involve more angst if they found out Reader was their child after they're back, but I raise you this: What happens if they found out when Reader and the others initially died? (Isn't that a fine wine of angst?) They never suspected and never knew Reader was a relative of theirs, and the pain and guilt over only ever knowing after Reader had already died. It would be worse if, when sorting through some of Reader's stuff after that dark day, they find a few papers in their handwriting, mentioning they know that one of their mentors or guardians is actually their parent/sibling/relative, but that they aren't going to tell them, because they don't want to ruin their relationship... Or if Reader had a DNA test or birth certificate or something else, detailing the fact they're related... The absolute misery the adult/s would be in, knowing they would never be able to right it, that they'd never be able to let Reader know they would have accepted them, no matter what... It breaks them all over again...

If Reader begged the others to go, to leave them, the three would be torn. If Reader is younger than them, they are staying no matter what. Only being forced to leave them would keep them from being by their side, sticking together til the end. If Reader is older, they would reluctantly leave, but only after Reader forces them into a position where that's the choice they're left with. And the three would be doing everything they can to get back to them, to try and rescue them from the strangers wearing the faces and powers of their teams, the people they call family...

I think I've finally decided on how old Reader is, and I say they are the youngest. Not by a lot, granted, but that doesn't stop them from being seen as someone to protect, no matter how powerful or awesome their powers are. They could be able to turn into a beast-like creature, or transform into any animal they want, or have fangs and claws, and they'd still be getting defended. It doesn't mean Reader themself isn't protective. Reader has lashed out before, during the few weeks they'd all been held captive, all to protect their captured friends or to defend the other platonic yans... Reader did suffer for it, though, terribly... It's why their death was a little different than the others. Where the others deaths were rather quick, Reader's was dragged out, made as painful for as long as it took to pass on...

It's really no wonder the adult and older teen platonic yans snapped and took their time destroying the people who'd done it. Who didn't even give them a chance to reach them before it was too late. And what a bloody, long drawn-out mess it is... And when it's finally done, well... There's a new world order on the verge of forming, and when it is brought to fruition... a lot of their enemies realize what a dangerous mistake they made...

[delusionalbookworm]

thoughts about Henry and Mercedes, after episode 47

thinking about Henry and Mercedes leaving their home, their entire plane of existence, to go and do their best to care for the people that their sons sacrificed and left for dead. the absolute hell they must have gone through to establish a point of safety and peace in all that chaos and violence. it's a terrifying world of cannibalism and memory stealing and various factions struggling for power, but even so, they wouldn't hide Oakvale. if they did then the people looking for help wouldn't be able to find them. so they're exposed and vulnerable and every time a group of attackers comes along looking to hurt them or exploit them, the first thing Henry and Mercedes do is try to make peace. try to offer them shelter, ask them if they really want to be enacting all this violence. and sometimes that works! and sometimes it doesn't.

Henry stewarding Oakvale and being terrified of turning into Barry. being terrified that he might be slipping without realizing it, he could be falling under the Doodler's influence. is he encouraging the villagers to idolize him? is this a cult? he fuckin hopes not, but would he even be aware of it if he was? he's seen the way people act in this world, so convinced that what they're doing is totally normal, even as they tear someone limb from limb, even as they're pushing other people into vats of molten cheese.

Mercedes leaving her life behind and taking up arms, learning how to kill to defend her people. she gets good at it. really good at it. they both wonder if this is the doodler too, if she's being changed, if she's starting to enjoy it. Henry assuring her that this isn't her responsibility, she doesn't have to do this. Mercedes getting fuckin pissed off whenever he suggests that she isn't just as responsible, as if Lark and Sparrow aren't her sons as well, as if she doesn't have just as big a role in everything that happened.

occasionally, they get phone calls from back home, and it's never anything good. Ron calls them to let them know that Darryl died. then a call from Terry Jr, Ron disappeared and they think he drowned. Henry agonizes about whether or not he can justify going to their funerals. Henry normally doesn't leave Oakvale, doesn't like leaving it undefended, doesn't trust Barry on his own, even with the bracelets (they had to move the bracelets from his ear to his hand after they caught him trying to cut his ear lobe off to get rid of them). but just one day back home would be minutes in this world. surely that's okay. surely he can make that exception to go say goodbye to his friends.

both times, he's terrified that he's going to come back to ruin and devastation. both times he feels incredibly guilty to be able to leave, to be able to take a day off, when billions of others can't. both times he gives flowers grown on the world that Darryl and Ron were born on, before code purple swapped everything round. both times, Glenn offers him a joint, asks to at least get a drink together before he runs back to the old world. both times, Henry declines and disappears before he can get too comfortable, before he can be tempted by the safety and the calm, before he can be convinced to stay

in the present day, Lark and Sparrow didn't seem surprised that Mercedes had passed away. they already knew. so Henry must have called to tell them at the time. were Lark and Sparrow expecting it, did they see it coming? how long had it been for them, since they'd last seen her? how long had it been for Mercedes, how long had she gone without seeing her beautiful boys, before she died?

thinking about Henry without his wife, without his friends, without his sons, caring for a village full of traumatized and terrified people, the only family he has left is his abusive father, living in a world that is constantly trying to destroy everything he's built, and the fuckin emotional fortitude it must take to still, after all that, offer the Doodler a cup of chamomile tea.

[hatkuu]

taps my claws together... Did u know the typical structure of wolf packs out in the wild is a breeding pair and all of their pups (some leave as they enter sexual maturity [~2 years old, males more likely] to start their own packs, but a fair share stay and help raise the next litters of pups).

Anyway. Imagine a PC with the wolf tf mentioning/confessing this to Kylar and just how overjoyed Kylar might be by the fact... Esp if they got the wolf tf From said PC, but either way - to think!! That PC might want them as their mate (*surely* they do, to tell them this), to *breed* with them, to have a loving family like that... isn't it ideal? And of course, even if PC didn't tell them directly, it's not like Kylar can't do their own research <3...

OR wolf tf Kylar themself!! Scrawny little thing... Having found such a perfect mate, wanting so *badly* to have a family (pack) again after their parents got sick and Sydney stopped talking to them, so devoted and loving and wagging their tail rapidly as spend time together, helpless to stop it bc they're just so happy... (TRYING TO HIDE HOW MUCH THEIR TAIL WANTS TO WAG IN THEIR LOW LOVE STAGES BC THEYRE STILL SHY AROUND YOU......)

Just. Thinking so much about Kylar getting to be part of a pack honestly bc it's really sweet to me. Maybe throw Sydney in there for funsies (+ so they'd have more warm connections than just PC and any theoretical kids/pups) also... Honestly I just think it's cute to consider them getting what the want and it hit me a moment ago that would pack structures do kinda lend to that

(BONUS: SUPER LATE. BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REPLYING TO MY FOXBOY KYLAR ASK SO HEARTFULLY IT WAS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DELIGHTFUL TO READ. BEAMS)

(i'm so glad you enjoyed my rambling!! reveal your blog to me right now. get off anon. i love seeing big asks in my inbox! they're always so fun to read and they make me feel like i've gotten a FREE COMMISSION AFHSKJK) (also i gravitated towards m! kylar for this ehe) wolf tf stuff and having babies with kylar stuff below

you confess anything about starting a family to this freak he loses it. gets himself so worked up that it's all he's been thinking about for a week straight. he starts mishearing things you say - he has to slap a hand over his mouth to stop himself from moaning out loud if you mention anything regarding his/your wolf tf.

also. kylar doing his own research is SOOOO true. this would happen with ANY tf that you have. looks up mating rituals, what ur tf finds most attractive in a mate (and replicates it horribly), and googles when ur mating season is. he's a freak. probably hyperfixates on your tf and blurts out fun (disgustingly degenerate) animal facts while you're hanging out with him. eg. "did you know wolves mate for life??? what do you look for in a mate, pc?? :)"

i feel like if he's the one with the tf, he's a lot whinier about his ruts. makes it out like he's bed-ridden and needs you to take care of him. please please please let him knot you! if you're the one going into heat/rut, he'd be all over you! doesn't want you leaving the orphanage/his room. look! you're presenting yourself to him as soon as he walks in! you can't possibly go out when you're acting like this!! it'd be unsafe!!

i think kylar obsessing over starting a pack with you is 100% accurate. he'd get so emotional and sappy over everything. probably cries with happiness after you let him knot you for the first time, just because he's thinking about the litter you'll have (yes. he refers to ur babies as a litter/pups. even if he's the one without the tf. sobbing.)

a pack with sydney would be ...something. poor sydney would turn into a glorified babysitter. so many little feral children running around and they're all clones of kylar. it is SHOCKING how virile his sperm is. with the amount of children kylar insists on the two of you having together, you'd think that some of them would look like you, but no. kylar taints the gene pool. they're all coming out with dark hair and freakish little green eyes. yeah. poor sydney.

[gregoftom]

"and hey they’ve been basically getting each other hard by proxy of dirty talking about women and probably saying what they’d do, mostly tom bc greg doesn’t know shit about it, and getting off on it so… that’s Kinda fucking lol"

oh god now you're making me think about -- and I can't believe I haven't thought about it before -- them having phone sex. like still in the era where it's like. just talking dirty about what they've done or would do with women. like 4x1. but with the barrier of the phone and being in different places (but the intimacy of having their voice right at their ear) they could and would actually touch themselves about it. and I don't think they'd let on they knew that was happening even if they did pick up on the other doing it, the hitched breaths, the breathy words, the loss of coherent sentences, the 'yeah's and 'mhm's and silences but staying on the line because they're getting off. (and maybe tom would call greg a dirty boy, say 'did you just get off on that, gregory?' ...maybe he would play into it in person. the little horny power trip that it is. but maybe he'd be too scared to if he got off on it as well, and just leave it unsaid, like so much of their sexual attraction is unsaid and done through proxy. another line crossed that can't be mentioned. that just adds to the frustration.)

anyway they could really learn a thing or two from roman and gerri lmao. or just exchange notes

SHAJDHAJSH omg yesss god listen. i'm not Wildly into phone sex in general but oh my God it works for them soooo well in multiple circumstances. they absolutely Would do that and technicaaaalllly that's stiiiiill not reaaaaally doing it, bc they're not touching each other. so the post first time sleeping together would still be in play. in fact it would make it all the more intense, the desperation and pure want for one another, to be so close yet so far. and we know tom feels safer to be more honest on the phone with greg, like when after logan died. so he would. do that. i think. hhhhhh. and they would. play it out i think and then act like nothing's happened. they would just... yeah exactly. greg would definitely get off, clinging the phone tightly with a trembling hand to his ear, and tom might palm himself, but lose the nerve or the feeling of wanting to go for it, because of the shame. but maybe once. or twice. or more. times. he would, and greg would be so awkward but that just turns tom on all the more.

like, they could dance around it so easily. "did you just get off on that gregory?" "y.. yeah hah, the um, the situation, like with a girl that you were saying, man that'd be so hot... and like what if, you know, you were there too, and you took a turn right after me?" "don't be disgusting. you think i'm putting my dick anywhere you've had yours?" "mmh. oh, yeah that's, that's pretty nasty huh? but like, that's us right? we're nasty aren't we? you're disgusting with me, aren't you, tommy?" "fuck."

LITERALLY. AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasalsklsdksldklskdlskds hate they ass.

[msookyspooky]

Imagine a reader x severen on new years and they have a kiss at midnight I've always wanted that

Srry this is late I literally just took a mental vacay for a few days but I'm back 😁 I truly don't care if it's January 5 lol

One shot • no word count • not proofread • Severen x GN!Reader • Ending to Near Dark never happened/Caleb's Dad never found him; Caleb stayed with them and let's fast forward just a few years bc I found this gif 🎉

When the Clock Strikes Midnight

You all had just woken up a few hours prior and already had your meals for the night. Drunken people loitering the streets of the bigger town you all stopped into. A few bodies lay bone dry in multiple dark alleys that no one would be the wiser to thinking they ran into human trouble or passed out and died of hypothermia in the cold...Well, the marks might give that away but you'd all be long gone by then.

"Man, what's with all the drunkards out here tonight for?" Homer mumbled with his hands in his pockets. "I told ya we shouldn't be in big towns like this...Look at all these freaks. "

Jesse sighed while walking hand in hand with Diamondback up ahead of the group. "Normally I'd agree with you, old man, but we needed to feed. And a bunch of people out of their wits are perfect targets for an early and quick meal." He slowly drew out; leisurely surveying the surroundings.

Caleb was walking between Mae and Homer (Much to Homer's disdain) as he mumbled. "Uh...It's New Years Eve? Right?"

Diamondback scrunched her brows a moment in thought. "Is it?"

You finally spoke up as well, "Yep."

"Huh." She hummed as she sighed and leaned into Jesse. "...I beileve they're right, Jess. Another year done went by."

"...You guys didn't notice?" You muttered walking side by side with Severen behind everyone. Severen made a habit of guarding the clan from the back while out and about and since you wanted to be near him; you decided to walk a bit slower to ease back towards where he was.

Jesse smiled with a scoff of a chuckle. "Years go by real fast for us, YN. After the first 100; why keep countin' 'em? "

Homer scoffed. "After the first 50 more like it."

Caleb huffed with a disbelieving smirk. "God, yall act like humans don't celebrate at least 50 New Years Eve's in their lifetime."

Diamondback chimed in. "Ain't the same. Humans age, they change, their lives change with each year." She turned her head, exchanging a look between you and Mae and Caleb as the youngest members of the group. A coy smirk on her lips as she softly said. "Ours don't."

Severen huffed. "Ain't that the fuckin' truth. Only thing that changes is how much dumber the people get." He grinned wryly to himself as a young guy hanging out with his friends practically stumbled into your path before correcting himself and staggering back to his group hanging out on the sidewalk near the bar. "All you can eat and the food serves itself." He gave that signature chuckle of his that you could recognize anywhere.

Severen raised his brows down at you playfully and you just smiled with an eye roll and looked towards a couple dancing with party hats on in the bar window. Oblivious to the world around them.

"...Want seconds? They'd be real easy." Severen bent down and whispered to you. You blinked in surprise, not realizing you were staring at them before shaking your head. "No, just watching."

The longer you were in the group and saw Jesse and DB so devoted after so many decades and Mae and Caleb being absolutely nauseating teens even after a few years of being together; you could understand Homer's bitterness a little. It had only been a little while of you being turned compared to your once fragile human lifespan and even you felt that aching in your chest when you saw that aging couple in their 50's dancing; let alone the two couples in your group so enraptured with their mates. Whatever level of loneliness you might have felt as a human felt magnified by the impending doom of Eternity... Alone. Decades if not Centuries of not having that person that made you feel loved. It was no wonder this group stayed together with not a single one of you able to have friends or family; you were all eachother had in the long immortal void of being what you were. But even friends and family could only cure the overwhelming urge to find your mate for so long; they couldn't fill that ache of wanting someone. Your person. The one person that felt like a missing puzzle piece in your life. Humans spent their entire lives obsessing over finding 'the one' so you felt stupid thinking that feeling wouldn't be 10x worse being turned. Especially seeing two pairs of other turned people that found their forever match.

You knew how Homer felt for obvious reasons. But you also wanted to just look at Severen and ask 'How can you stand it?' Especially since he was in this group first other than your Patriarch. He was the second to be in this group the longest as Jesse's prodigy. How did he manage going from it just being him and Jesse for decades to being the third wheel? All these decades later of seeing his creator/father/older brother/friend/mentor or whatever he viewed Jesse Hooker as become Mates with DB and just existing alongside them until Homer came along. How can he be so okay being alone like he is night after night for over a century at least?

But then you looked up at him once more and that question instantly died in your mind...Because maybe...This feeling wasn't universal? It was you and only you. Maybe this loneliness wouldn't be there if it wasn't for your budding feelings towards him? Your heart sank as you realized maybe he didn't think of it because he didn't feel the same way about anyone; including you. Having a crush made this feeling worse the last few months and the disheartening realization you'd never be like that couple in the window or Jesse and DB or even Mae and Caleb made your frown to yourself.

Homer seemed grumpier than usual and tired. He ended up tripping and almost falling over as he cursed to himself. A few people looked over at this child cursing like a sailor as he glared at them.

Severen laughed and told him. "Be careful there, ya old lush!"

"Shut it, Severen." Homer grumbled. "I HATE drunk blood." He mumbled and didn't seem to care if anyone heard.

Jesse gave him a look to stop talking as you all moved away from the people talking around the outside of the bar. Your eyes never left that couple dancing as you saw the clock inside said 11:54 pm. Your heightened hearing picked up talking on a nearby radio that talked about the ball dropping soon.

Severen chuckled. "Yeah, feeling a little buzzed myself. Hey Jess, remember back when we got a hold of those one fellas high on opium?" He laughed to himself before Jesse could even answer. Looking down at you with a toothy grin. "I slept like a worn out dog after that." He lost the grin as he saw you weren't paying attention.

A bit more chattering you paid no mind to happened. Jesse and Diamondback led the group walking forward but to your surprise you felt someone tug you back by your jacket. You looked up to see Severen tilting his head, scrunching his brows ever so slightly and staring down at you.

"Hey, what's eatin' you?"

"Nothing." He raised a brow at you and you couldn't help the nervous smile. "No really, nothings wrong. I mean, not really."

"Then why are ya spacing out for?" His eyes traveled to the small bar booming with people as the clock said 11:56 pm inside. "Ya want to go in there?"

"No, we don't have to. It's loud, wall to wall people, probably just asking for trouble with all the drunks in there."

He slowly smirked down at you before slinging an arm over your shoulder. You were used to him being touchy but it still made your stomach jump with nerves as he pulled you close and led you by the shoulder. The cologne he used whenever he went out to disguise himself as just a regular human wafted under your nose. It came in handy when you all had no idea when your next showers would be or to disguise any scent of blood that might linger on your clothes from the night prior. It was clean, spicy scent you definitely didn't mind.

"Sounds like my kind of place."

He walked you in and looked around with a grin at how crowded it was. Most of the time these small town bars just had a handful of people that gave you all wary or dirty looks but you both were completely ignored in here. It was almost over whelming having so much noise from the radio broadcasting the ball dropping to the jukebox to the people excitedly chattering to clanking of glasses and pool balls.

You almost turned to leave but Severen steered you back with a hand on your shoulder. "Come on, just till that ball drops then we'll head out. Alright?"

You thought a moment before smiling and nodding. "Alright."

Leave it to Severen to draw you both right in the middle of the bar where most people would be content on the sidelines. You talked to him over the music and people. "God, it's loud!"

He snorted. "Shit, you ain't heard loud till midnight! Only quiet ones are the ones sucking face."

You gave a nervous laugh and shook your head seeing 11:58 pm. "I actually have never done that."

He gave you a surprised look and bent down slightly to make sure he heard you. "Kissin'??"

"At midnight on New Years Eve. Never done it."

"Never?!" He exclaimed, seeming shocked by that for whatever reason. You gave a slight shrug with a smirk, trying to look around at things. "Nope!" Never."

He gazed at you from the side with a strange expression you couldn't place. Huffing slightly before he looked down and smirked to himself and mumbled something you couldn't quite hear.

"What was that??" You asked louder than you intended before people started quieting each other down as the radio blared that it was 11:59 pm New Years Eve and the last year of 1989.

He bent down and said to you so no one else could hear. "I actually remember 1889's New Year, beileve it or not. Course, we didn't go all out like this. Not even close. In fact, this whole ball droppin', throwing confetti everywhere, drinking yourself under the table shit didn't start till 30 years later or so." He stood back up fully and shook his head to himself. "Damn...100 years."

You smiled at him. "Severen Van Sickle, are you getting sentimental? "

He smirked and nudged you. "I ain't gettin' soft and sentimental about the passage time like some old man."

You shrugged up at him with a smile. "Well, even if you are...100 years is a long time. I mean, regular people celebrate every year because it passes them by faster than they think so maybe yours is just realizing you've lived over a century?"

"Maybe." He mumbled in thought before the countdown started.

You both got shhed by a stranger as you saw the excitement among everyone, a couple already kissing when the count down was at 5.

"5...4...3...2-"

"1." Severen finished for you. You blinked in surprise when you felt his arm wrap around the small of your back and his other hand cradled the back of your head as he bent down and leaned you back to kiss you.

Time slowed down as you felt his lips on yours. A little overzealous for a first try but hey that's just Severen and everything he does. You grabbed at his leather jacket to steady yourself as you barely heard the cheering, the happy new years, people blowning kazoos or whirrling clackers around while others hugged or clapped...All while you felt his strong arms wrapped around you, practically holding you up with his inhuman strength while only one of your feet touched the floor under you. You finally kissed him back after the shock of it all wore off as your lips moved against his. He continued kissing you as he raised you back up to stand on your feet but even when he pulled away from the kiss you wobbled, gripping against him as he grinned down at you and wrapped both of his arms around your back. Your chest rose and fell as you stared up at him with wide eyes.

"W-Wow uh..." You gave a slight smile, unsure what to say. Confetti on his shoulders and dark hair and you were sure it was on you too.

"Wow, huh?" He teased, his hands still holding onto you. He dropped the cocky grin as it turned into a slight smirk instead. "I uh...Damn, I think that drink we had earlier was fuckin' 90 proof." He chuckled out as only you two understood what the drink was. "At least ya can mark that off yer list."

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess I can." You gave him a warm smile and allowed both of yourselves to hug onto each other longer than anticipated. You wanted to kiss him again. Wanted to tell him you couldn't hide these feelings you had anymore and the burning question opened up after this kiss 'Did he feel the same? Was this just him being arrogant and making sure he's the first at something or because he genuinely likes you too?'

You didn't get to do either when Mae cleared her throat. You both looked over to see her and Caleb grinning at you both inside the bar a few feet away. "...Are we...Interrupting?" Mae murmured with a giggle as you and Severen almost instantly let each other go. More you than him, you did NOT feel like hearing the teasing THE WHOLE RIDE to your next destination.

"Um, yeah- no. We were just-" You looked at Severen, thankful blood circulation didn't allow your face to heat up anymore.

Severen gave you a smirk and confidently answered. "Celebrating the New Year. Don't tell me ya didn't kiss yer girl when that clock struck." As he ruffled his hair to get the confetti off of him.

Caleb huffed. "Course I did! But that was almost 2 minutes ago."

"Huh, time flys then." Severen winked at you.

Mae gave you a knowing smirk and Caleb chuckled to himself as Severen wrapped his arm around you again and led you out as the drinking and loud music continued in the bar.

You both walked out and to your surprise, Severen whispered to you. "Are you alright with all that we did back there? I swear it the alcohol that guy had in his blood has me a lil tipsy so if I got a lil carried away..."

It genuinely took you aback but shook your head. "No! No, I'm glad you did that...It was...Nice."

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Yeah. In fact...Maybe we can walk around town a bit together? If you want to, that is. It doesn't get light out till 7 in the morning now."

He gave you a satisfied smile. "It'd be my pleasure. Where to first, darlin'?"

[littlecajunlady]

Hold on, I actually have something to say about Lucky Spencer, his recasts, and the punishment of actors through character assassination.

Under a read more because I have A LOT to say:

For some reason, every January for the last few years, I watch clips of General Hospital - sometimes storylines I've seen before, and sometimes stories I want to see for the first time. This January I decided on Lucky (JJ) and Elizabeth, and I've watched every scene of theirs I could find from '97 to '99 and '09 to '11. I'd seen a few of their older scenes, a bit more of their recent scenes, but it was my first time watching everything from the beginning. Two months later and I'm still thinking about them, how sweet they were together as teens, and how the writers ruined them over and over again.

My first memory of watching GH was with my older sister, and it just so happened to be the episode in '99 with Lucky's funeral and the reveal that he was alive. As a lover of angst, I was enthralled. I wanted to know what happened next. Now in hindsight, that was truly the end for them. Sometimes I feel like Lucky died in that fire and he never came back. Lucky said it himself in a scene with Luke in '10 - "Elizabeth and I never recovered from that fire," and he was right. And it is so disappointing to me. A small part of me almost wishes I didn't know how good they were then, so that I never learned how far they'd fallen.

The characters as teenagers were beautiful together. They were IN LOVE, and they sold it, and had better chemistry than almost any characters I've ever seen. I know this is a soap opera and almost no one is allowed to stay married to one person, much less with their high school sweetheart, but I just wish they hadn't done so much deliberate, irreparable damage to this couple. And for what?

From the wiki I read recently, Jonathan Jackson wanted to leave as early as '96 or '97 and they convinced him to stay, which I'm grateful he did so we could get the Liz/Lucky story. I hate that he left, and really dislike recasts in general, but I would never begrudge an actor for wanting to move on from a soap opera, even if I miss them. And to expect an 11-year-old actor to commit to a lifetime as one character is ridiculous. He wanted to leave again in '11, and while that was incredibly disappointing, I understand why he did.

He's said in interviews that he wanted to work with Tony and Becky, and have Liz and Lucky reunite, and have lighter stories. I know actors rarely get a say in their storylines, that they've gotta shut up and do the work they're given, and I get that. But considering those requests were the whole reason he even agreed to come back in the first place, why did they apparently agree when they had no intention of following through? So he left, which was within his right to do. Creators/producers/writers don't have to cater to actors' wants, but then they shouldn't act surprised when the actor leaves when they've lied to get them in the door. So yeah, I don't blame him for leaving, and I'm happy for him that he got Nashville soon after.

Unfortunately, now Lucky has since been punished for this. They turned him into a deadbeat dad who doesn't see his kids. They absolutely did not have to do that. They could so easily say he talks to them at least once a week on the phone, that he sees them every few months, and sends them gifts on their birthdays. It might not be perfect but at least it's not the complete abandonment of his children. Jax was allowed an offscreen relationship with Josslyn, so why can't Lucky? It's so out of character for him to do this and the writers' motives are so transparent to me.

And frankly, I feel like they've been ruining Lucky since the first time JJ left. After running out of JJ scenes to watch, I finally grit my teeth and watched some scenes with the recasts. I watched some of JY's Lucky return storyline. The actor was fine I guess, but I didn't buy him as Lucky, and the chemistry with Liz just wasn't there anymore. I hate the brainwashing stuff and how he no longer loved Elizabeth. If I'd been watching this live then, I probably would've quit because that is NOT the story I would've wanted to see with these characters.

GV's Lucky is even worse. I'm sure the actor is good in other things but that character was definitely not Lucky. I mostly blame the writing, but every time I see him, I say aloud to myself, "I do not know this man." Lucky would not be a cop. From some scenes I've seen, he was controlling and downright mean to Elizabeth. He was so unlikable and annoying. While the drug addiction storyline is good for drama and a challenge for actors, I just don't buy that as a story for Lucky, and definitely not the cheating. Again, it's just so very out of character that I simply don't think of that man as Lucky - that rage-filled, Dudley Do Right cuckhold? I realize this sounds really harsh, and yes there were some nice moments too (I begrudgingly admit their 2005 wedding was very sweet) but for me the bad far outweighed the good. I don't know what the character (and actors) of Lucky did to deserve such character assassination

It's very telling to me that the moment JJ returned, Lucky was allowed to be smart again. Competent at his job. To actually be respected by the other characters. What a concept, huh? There's no way JJ would've returned to that mess of a character otherwise. I agree that it's fucked up that GV was fired and that JJ was told that GV moved on of his own volition, but I'm glad JJ returned for the time he did, even though they had no idea what to do with him.

Siobhan? She was fine at first but then became shrill. And she was just the rebound girl he never should've married. The Balkan storyline was definitely not one of their best. Lucky's exit - which both JJ and Tony complained about - by having Lucky leave his kids just before Christmas to go talk to some rocks? Wtf were they thinking? An actor leaves and they no longer have any obligation to make a satisfying conclusion for fans, I guess. The Liz/Nik affair was so gross to me. I don't know a lot about Becky's firing, but they clearly wanted to punish her and her character too before getting rid of her. While I hate what Liz did, I don't hate the character, because they clearly had some kind of vendetta against Becky to want to trash her character so thoroughly. And I understand that's even the nature of soap operas - that everyone gets the chance to fuck up and do unforgivable things - and I guess that's just an aspect of soaps that I absolutely hate. That some characters aren't allowed to stay good and true to themselves for the sake of drama and who's the daddy storylines.

I know there are GH fans now, and probably many back then, who are sick of LL2 and want Liz to move on. And that's fair. But I'm also sure that there were so many people who wanted them back together, especially after JJ returned. I was one of them. What an absolute waste of history and chemistry. Jonathan and Becky both wanted it. A lot of the fans wanted it. They didn't even have to keep them together forever - soap couples never last - but to NEVER allow these characters any happiness together when we finally had JJ back is one of the biggest fumbles I've ever seen. They ruined the characters a long time ago, and they ruined this couple yet again. And I'll never forgive that.

I want JJ to come back as Lucky, I always will, even if it's just for a little while. He probably won't, and why would he after last time? I don't want a recast but if they decided to then maybe I'd give him a chance, only because I want them to stop trashing the character. But honestly whoever they cast probably still won't be Lucky to me - JJ IS Lucky, and some characters just can't be recast. I'm trying to make my peace with that, and with the fact that the last time we saw the REAL Lucky and Liz happy together was back in 1999. The showrunner and writers at the time had the rare opportunity to fix that in 2010 and chose not to do it. Why? I could never guess.

[astral-athame]

Caleb inviting Cass & the OT4 (or maybe the whole "coven") to visit his cousins in England for the summer...ofc Cass has the unfortunate dynamic w/her mom & stepdad, which hasn't come up yet in our threads. How would Cass react, assuming that her friends don't know about that part of her family?

(me, realizing that 3/4 of the OT4 have serious problems w/their family history: 😥)

((OH GOSH. OKAY. I HADN'T THOUGHT OF THIS!!!

Cass would be a bit wary about going right from the start because she's terrified she'll run into her mother and/or step-father. It's less about how her mother and step-father would react (they'd absolutely be sweet and charming and chatty and come across as totally normal because they like to keep up appearances), but it's the after that she's worried about. More questions about them or, if the group seems to like them (because they're very likable on the surface), the suggestion of going to visit them / spend time with them / etc. Or her mom and step-dad inviting them all out for a nice dinner or something. Again- it's not that she thinks her mom or step-dad will do or say anything particularly awful or whatever, but she'll be stuck between getting to just be herself with the OT4 and trying to act a certain way around her mother and step-father and she knows at least one of the OT4 will notice. (In fact, I wonder if Pogue wouldn't catch onto it first since he has slightly similar issues with his own parents). The thought of all that would have her so anxious, even if she was doing a good job at not seeming too anxious or upset or anything.

So, again, right from the start Caleb suggests that they go to visit his cousins in England for the summer and Cass's heart drops in her chest, but she's smiling and acting like she thinks it'll be fun (because if they don't run into her mom and step-dad it will be fun, and hopefully Caleb's cousins don't live near enough to where her family lives and she can just make up excuses all summer as to why they can't go visit her mom and such). The whole time they're planning out the trip, her nerves are frayed but she's acting totally normal because she doesn't want to ruin this for them or make them feel like she's not looking forward to it (she is looking forward to it, overall!) and she's trying to, like, gently coax their plans for what they're gonna do over the summer away from where her mom lives to lessen their chances of actually running into her when they get there. I think she'd actually do a pretty good job at hiding how anxious she is about it leading up to it. There might be a moment or two here or there where one of them picks up on something being up, but I think it'd be small enough for her to pass it off as other things.

It'd be when they got there that her facade would start slipping more. Like... she's totally fine when they're together at wherever they're staying, but they'd go out to do things and she'd seem slightly on edge sometimes. Distracted. Her eyes darting from person to person like she's looking for someone. And if she happened to see her mom and/or her step-dad out somewhere... she'd either be making up an excuse to dip into a small store or she'd be fully leading their whole group away, hoping she's done it before she was seen.

Of course, she knows that they're gonna have to meet her mom and step-dad someday but... she's avoiding it as best as possible. She'd be happier if she could keep them apart forever ^^; But I can see, like, if her parents did happen upon the group, they'd be sweet and chatty and incredibly pleasant, so the only things that would give away that something was wrong would be that: 1) Her mom would absolutely ask: "Cassia, why didn't you tell us you were coming here on holiday?" because, even though she's smiling and acting totally normal, her mom is upset that she didn't say anything. She feels slighted by it. (Cass would say something back like "I didn't want to bother you, mum, I knew you were busy." or "I was hoping we would have a chance to surprise you." despite knowing how much her mom hates surprises). And; 2) Cass won't do or say anything to give it away, but because her lovers know her so well, her sudden tension would be obvious. It'd be so clear that she didn't want this to happen. Like... if she could just disappear, she would. (I also picture her mom fretting over her slightly- smoothing her hair down or fixing the chain of her necklace, little things like that that can come across as caring but are actually more controlling when you know their actual dynamic.)

Even after the encounter, she'd be insisting that nothing was wrong, though! Even when they could tell something was up. She'd insist that, like, "I just wasn't expecting it" and "I knew my mum would be upset that I didn't tell her we were here". Things that could potentially make sense... but I feel like the other three would know were just attempts at her brushing stuff under the rug, so to speak.

Her dynamic with her mother is weird. Her mom isn't mean to her, really. Not in an obvious way. And she doesn't do things with the intent of upsetting her daughter, either. But she makes little comments that sting. She tells her she needs to act and dress a certain way ("Please, Cassia, wear some more color! Stop being so dreary! You're doing yourself no favors by wearing so much black. Do you know what type of men you're inviting to yourself dressing that way?"). And, the worst of it, is that neither her mother nor her father are aware that she used to sneak to the top of the stairs at night when they were arguing in the kitchen before they got divorced, just to listen to what they were fighting about. Her father almost never raised his voice- he always sounded more pleading or defeated than anything. But her mother yelled a lot, and that's also how she overheard her mother, on at least two separate occasions, tell her father that she never wanted kids, anyway. That she didn't want to be mother. That she felt like she'd made a mistake marrying him and having a child with him. And it's a big part of why she's always, always, trying to conform to what her mother wants her to be while she's with her. Then there's the dynamic with her step-father. He has a short temper and has yelled at Cass plenty. He's never physically abused her or anything, mind you (though he has threatened it), but he gets scary when he's mad. He's the main reason that, when someone yells at her, she can't help but cry and tremble and flinch when their voice raises again. And just... yeah. He's not been in her life as long, and she only sees him a couple times a year, but he's had enough of an impact on her that she's scared of him.

Also, if they did end up going out for a nice dinner with her mom and step-dad or going to their place for a (slightly) more casual dinner situation, she'd be dressed more according to how she knows her mother would want her dress, which might tip off the group that something's up because Cass always just dresses however she's feeling that day without a care in the world. But for her mom? She's wearing something nice, something a bit more elegant. She does her hair up and gets slightly panicked if anything looks to be out of place (doesn't have to be in an updo, but she's definitely being more particular about how it looks, how it's settling on her shoulders, etc). She's constantly checking herself on the way there- her necklace is still sitting right, her makeup hasn't smudged or anything, her hair still looks nice, her dress isn't creasing- all these things she doesn't usually pay much mind to. And all through dinner, she's quiet and polite and she can't help but fall into speaking like her mom, picking up on her accent and all. She hardly eats. Sits up perfectly straight (because the one time she doesn't, her mother notices and just gives her a look and Cass knows that's her mom's way of telling her she's slouching without saying anything). Even if she had somehow managed to fake her way through all the obvious questions and concerns from her lovers before that, there'd be no way to talk herself out of how she was acting at dinner. In fact, I think when it was all over and they were out of there, she'd have an awfully hard time keeping herself together because it would have been so stressful for her. And yet, again- SHE WOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING. Not leading up to it. Not during it. Not even after it unless someone asked. She'd just as easily pretend that it never happened at all. I do think they could get their way through the dinner without things being too painfully awkward- I can't speak for Jayn, but I think the boys are both good at keeping up the flow of conversation and her mom and step-dad, again, are acting so sweet. They're laughing and chatting and asking questions about Caleb / Pogue / Jayn's lives and interests and no matter what they say, there's no obvious judgement or anything. In fact, they seem pleased to learn about them and always have good follow up questions. And I know they'd especially love Caleb- he's smart and charming and wealthy, and while Pogue is all those things too, Caleb comes across as more straight cut while Pogue comes across as a little more rugged. They'd like all three of them, overall, but they'd especially love Caleb. So they're trying to make the best possible impression. Which is another thing- Pogue, again, has grown up in a similar situation (though his was every day), so I think he'd know better than to make a scene or say anything even if Cass looks uncomfortable and he knows something is up. And he'd ask the same of Jayn and Caleb, too, if he noticed they were picking up on something being wrong with Cass, because he knows that Jayn, especially, might have a few choice words for Cass's mom and step-dad if she's realizing something is off... but he also knows that making a scene or anything is going to break Cass and all the blow back of it is going to later fall on her. He knows because that's how his parents are. "We have the privilege to walk away from this without ever even having to see them again if we don't want to. But Cass doesn't. We'll talk to her later about it. For now, just keep playing along, okay? We just have to make it through dinner."

ANYWAY- I have a lot of feelings about the massive differences in the way Cass's parents treat her and interact with her and how that's left her feeling unsteady and it's also contributed in large part to the fact that she keeps secrets that don't even make sense to keep and her desperate need to keep people happy with her even at her own expense and... yeah. I could go on, but I've already written way more than I should have- oops ^^;))

[nineliabilityrisk]

❝ I'm sure it's nothing you can't handle! ❞ ( for mike, from quinn / @ladyseidr )

" i'm sure it's nothing you can't handle ! "

[[ oh this is gonna be Such a dynamic im already so excited for this. also i dont Care if timelines dont line up or whatever i just found the concept of them being Regular Fucking Coworkers at the fnaf 1 location too funny to pass up. ]]

-- [ asked by @ladyseidr ] --

"You know the fact that you even have to say that makes me less likely to believe you, right?"

Really, in all fairness, Michael had absolutely no right to be as thoroughly ticked off as he was at the moment. Quinn had done nothing wrong — he was just annoyed about the fact that someone else was trying to coach him in his job here, at his own father's company. Every little bit of assistance or instruction felt condescending. It wasn't, of course, Quinn was just trying to help, to get him situated properly during his first few shifts, but, God, he knew all of this already. Could probably take one of these bots apart and put them back together in his sleep at this point — at least, he'd like to think so. Okay, maybe he wasn't that familiar with the intricacies of his position, but, Hell, he'd quite literally grown up alongside these things. With how obsessed his father was with these creations of his, they'd seemed as much a part of their family as he and his siblings had, at times. There was no other explanation for it — why else would his father prioritize them so far above him if that wasn't the case?

Elbows propped up on his desk, he covered his face with his hands for a moment before sliding them down to support his chin. Letting out a shaky breath. Needed to control his temper — this minor irritation was both entirely inconsequential and entirely not Quinn's fault, not to mention unproductive. He needed to get himself under control. Snapping at his instructor wasn't going to help anyone.

He could probably blame his lack of patience on his current state of sleep deprivation — which, obviously, was more common than not, nowadays, unwilling as he was to put himself through his constant nightmares just for a few useless hours of rest — his mind felt raw, overworked ... it was no wonder he was having trouble keeping it together with the throbbing ache that had made itself at home behind his eyes.

"Look — they're just robots." Freaky robots, yes, robots that he'd never wanted to set foot near ever again after what had happened when he was younger, but they were just robots nonetheless. "I don't care about them– about what goes on out there. That's not part of my job — I'm just supposed to be here in my office. Keeping an eye on things. So why, exactly, do I need to know how they work? They're all the way out there. Where I don't have to worry about them." A pause, uneasy silence — eventually he had to turn to see the employee standing behind his chair. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked, voice very much level and calm and not at all worried. Certainly not. "They are going to stay all the way out there, right?" The question would sound paranoid in just about any other situation, but, of course, this was the only one where his fears might actually be founded — unbeknownst to him, of course.

He was in way over his head, and yet he was exactly where he was supposed to be. It wasn't like he'd expected this job to be smooth sailing, what with his history with the company, but he'd known he was uniquely suited for the role. Applied, took the offer out of a sense of duty, of necessity — not because he wanted to be there or anything. No, he wanted to be as far away from this place as possible, but he was used to what he wanted being entirely disregarded at this point, so why would he even bother giving his own opinion any weight?

"Please tell me they're gonna be staying out there. The bots aren't the part you thought I could 'handle,' right? Please tell me you meant something else." Oh, Michael. You never should've taken the job.