#they're both NOT smart and NOT skilled and a bit full of themselves but they aren't mean and they like each other a lot <3

[bumblingbabooshka]

Quick & Early

[firefl1ezz]

coroika au idea

people might have done this before but. coroika au where the shadows won. i don't see enough shadows content and i want more so why not make an au for it ??

WARNING: gets dark. i like dark stuff. so it gets dark lmao. tw's in tags.

in short the idea so far is that the shadows win the final battle and take over the square. they're not entirely sure what to do with it at first - they sort of thought goggles and his team would win based on his track record with high ranked and high powered foes - but they manage to clear the area of all the "original" (or what i like to call outerworld) inkfish. They let most of the shopkeepers stay if they please (quite possibly forcing sheldon to stay, since they need weapons if they're going to fight their own turf wars (which, what else is there to do with their time?)) but they absolutely cleanse the area of any colourful ink kids.

this lasts for a while. a decent amount of time actually. the shadows come and go from the tv screens of deca tower as they please and/or need and they have their fun. eventually though, they start running out of radio waves to suck the energy from. they try various other sources such as the splatoon equivalent of phones as a sort of mobile battery, other tv displays and even lightning, but all of what they try is temporary at best. they find ways to channel lightning to deca tower as well as other places, but lighting obviously isn't permanent, and it often comes with rain, so having inkfish biology means they cant stand around in a storm and just hope to get zapped in case it starts raining.

in slight desperation, the shadows decide to take their chances with both the splatlands and the inkopolis plaza. the shadows from deca tower form two teams of the strongest players and battle it out for both locations. the battle at the splatlands proves to be a bit of a struggle against the best 8 and their increasing skill, however their own shadows are no match for them. both areas are successfully taken over by the shadows, and it provides them with enough radio waves to maintain their existence a little longer. they figure with so much energy they can discover new techniques as well, which leads to the discovery of more than just the leg tingling throw electric waves we see in the manga. this could be anything from giving someone a harmless little electric nip to their fingers to full on electric shock.

eventually, the same thing happened as what ended up happening in inkopolis square. the leftover radio waves start running out and becoming unreliable, and the shadows find they need something more.

by this time, the outerworld population that once inhabited these now shadow ridden areas are beginning to hide out in the square again. ink kids in the splatlands and the plaza will soon follow. once the shadows find out, they're immediately pissed off. they thought they'd cleansed the area of all non-shadows! but one smart shadow realizes that they can use these freshly found terrified souls for their own benefit. the plan is to threaten to kill the original inkfish if they don't comply, whilst complying simply requires them to begin an unconsensual and untrained voiceover job. they're forced to commentate on the shadow's turf matches in order to generate more amplified radio waves. word soon spreads to areas outside of the square and barely two weeks later sees the shadow community thriving again.

skip ahead a bit and the shadows find themselves hungry again. they're thriving in terms of radio waves, but they're absolutely starved in terms of entertainment. they aren't like goggles, blue team, even other teams who have been convinced to see eye to eye with the opinion that turf wars are for "fun". sure, they could be fun and entertaining, and they kept the shadow's energy up in terms of radio waves, but they were only fun for so long. some shadows already seem to have ideas for more entertainment.

having forced some of the outerworld population into commentary roles, the shadows figure they can do more. they begin to force them into other things too. talk shows, podcasts, turf war challenge which in some way forces the participator/s to face off with their shadow/s. you name it, they've thought of it.

but it still isn't enough. they're hungry in other ways. physical ways. they're starving. the food supplies are running low in all areas, and most shadows are running on rations, if that. so they turn to cannibalism. though, can it really be called "cannibalism" if the shadows are made of radiowaves and the inkfish are made of ink? that's how they justify it, anyway. the make sure to never eat someone entirely. after all, they might still need them as commentators later down the track. if they do, however, spawn points close to eating areas have been mandated and generalized as a part of shadow society, so no inkfish will ever die. in theory, infinite food.

now where are our main characters, you ask? goggles, rider, vintage, emperor, ocho. they're all hiding in different areas. most of the best 8 are hiding out in alterna. they're convinced none of the shadows will find them there since only mitsu knows about it (and now the rest of the best 8) but only time will tell. other splatlandians are hiding in the grizzco building. none of the shadows know how to participate in salmon run, nor do they want to. they see no point, and there's always a possibility of dying permanently there. wire is the only member missing of the best 8. he's managed to mostly safely move down to inkopolis square to support rider, his older brother. they both later move even further to inkopolis plaza with the s4. they keep themselves hidden in the shoal, seeing as the shadows don't need to rest there after matches. the x blood and team emperor (including laceless) find themselves hidden in octo valley, only thanks to vintage's time as "agent 4.3". it takes them a while to get along, but they eventually have to force themselves to so that they don't get found. lastly, hachi's team and blue team manage to make it back to the deep sea metro to hide there. this is likely the safest place, since the shadows won't know how to get there. at most, they would know if it's existence, but it's so deep underground no shadow would ever think nor want to go down there.

most other background, side or less strong characters can be seen hiding out around other places of these three locations. abandoned buildings, dark alleys and abandoned shops, and very rarely abandoned turf maps. there's always a chance the turf maps will be returned to, however, so only the strongest and/or dumbest outerworlders end up there. some smaller character can also be found stuck with other groups of survivors, or even flipping between groups depending on location and safety.

by some means, most likely forms of social media, groups will form alliances and attempt to make plans to take down the shadow nation as much as they can. anything will help at this stage, or so they think.

[14muffinz]

Hey! Yes pls, your fusion au is a delight and sending an ask is my pleasure!

I have a couple questions, how do you think things would change if it was only mm x rise? Considering mm are so Baby and stuff; they also seem to have a range of genre awareness, do you think any of the fusions would change due the extra lil input if just, you know, having considered fusions as a concept before? (I would think they do have a media presence nowadays)

And with other possibilities (12 seems to be the main one -In general, forced fusions are... interesting, charged with all kinds of fun stuff like identity issues, shifts And clashes in how you view reality, emotional (and all types rly) crisis, lack of trust in yourself, yk, the fun stuff. But, well, a rly beautiful part of (intentional/positive) fusion is being known completely, that full understanding and acceptance, recognizing the components but also the whole, a self that is more than the sum of the parts and becoming other without losing oneself, yk the other fun stuff –and some works even work to make that transition from the former to the latter, which I think would be really fun for a xover!

Would you have any intention of the fusions becoming aware and working through their issues first or would they stay as is? Is the allies' goal to separate them as quickly as possible, where we could then explore the aftermath? Or even leave them in an unstable space where it's on and off, or maybe just leaving the possibility of fusion (I might have missed that post, but is it even plausible to separate them?)

Speaking of both the rest of the gang and things I might have missed, but are they in the rottmnt verse or the 12 one? It seems both sets of allies and fam are there? Did they cross over looking for the missing turtles? How did they react to the fusions? (And any other tidbits you might have about the new relationships? :3)

Jsjjsjs I hope those aren't too many questions

Jsjjs

not too many questions, but i have a feeling it's gonna take me a bit to read all of this, hoo boy

OH MY GODS, I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL WEEK FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ABOUT THE MM FUSIONS. IT'D BE SUCH A DIFFERENT STORY I AM!!!! NOT NORMAL!!! Gonna put them under a cut at the end, because it'd definitely be different and lengthy

Yeah, steven universe is the only example of fusions in canon media that I know of, and usually fusions are shown to highlight the positive attributes of a character, and in a lot of cases seems to be the two characters controlling one body. I definitely have a third consciousness, that is the fusions, but they're a combination of the two people who fused into them ofc. But at the same time, being unaware that they're fusions, and seeing all of these inconsistencies in their memory and in themselves, it's certainly challenging.

Well, Donnie's already aware. Being the smart one, I feel like he would have noticed somethings wrong the quickest and would have fallen into a bit of a mad scientist spiral about it, at which point the supporting cast decided the best way to help them out was just to flat-out tell them that they're not supposed to exist. Which somehow helped for a bit? Wow. Yeah, they're going to be separated. I think at least Mikey and Donnie will know at that point, and Raph "knows" but is very much not taking to the knowledge. He thinks that it's some long-running joke and he forces himself to not think about it as much as possible. When they're separated, I do in fact like the idea that the fusions could come back, but only in the case of a very strong enemy showing up. They've got the ninjutsu skills of the 2012 turtles, and the ninpo from rise, awkward as it is to fuse they can't not use that to their advantage. (The Mikeys have a bit of guilt, because they feel like the fusions are a third set that they're keeping locked up, in a way)

They are in the rise dimension. Currently, the only way proposed for them to have fused in the first place was a spell put on them in the hidden city, possibly by one of big mama's henchmen The 2012 April and Casey are definitely there. I'm not sure if 2012 Splinter would be there (probably not, knowing him) but we haven't even established if this is post-series and he's dead or not. How did they react? Ohohoho, so the april's and caseys were the ones who found them in the first place, after rise donnie had sent out an emergency alert. They were... quite alarmed, to say the least. A third set of alternates? Where are the other two? Where are all their gear? Why is so much of their turtles' gear torn and on the ground... oh no

Alright, now for the mayhem fusions under the cut:

Leo: Sooooo much anxiety, omg. Where does he put it all? He needs to distract himself a lot, because if he's left to his thoughts for too long he notices a lot of weird things about them. His favorite distractions are Jupiter Jim, and hanging out with Donnie.

Raph: Avoids his brothers, a lot. He's definitely the biggest of the four fusions, and considering MM Raph flipped a van, they're pretty strong as well. He's also got MM Raph's sort of "I don't need you, i want to be my own guy" thing paired with rise Raph's hate of being alone, so I'd imagine that'd result in a lot of time spent in the hidden city, where he fits in more, or maybe hanging out with the MM Bebop and Rocksteady(?). We can always have there be a stable portal between the dimensions and say that they can't return quite yet. That also allows MM April to go to school which is probably important or smth

Donnie: Autistic. Just in case you think I would somehow remove that lol. He's got problems with loud noise, but also prefers to have music blasting when he works on a project, so he carries around MM Donnie's headphones pretty much everywhere, for when either situation arises. He's tried different enhancements on the bo staff, but ended up going traditional with it. Projects for them are probably on a smaller scale than Rise Donnie's, but if he managed to convince himself that he can make something on Rise Donnie's level. His shell is also the most fucked up of the four, we're throwing together the rise softshelled one that got ripped out of the technordrome and the mutant mayhem one that got crushed. No matter if the fusion is softshelled or not (not sure yet) they definitely a need battleshell. Also This one does not know they're fused I kept writing they/them on accident since that's what I usually do for this au

Mikey: Silly little guy. There's so much creativity stored in this turtle, he likes art and dancing mainly. Has a 'Dr Delicate Touch' and it's somehow more alarming of a switch. He's also great at masking, externally he's fine then internally he's just "wtf is going on in here???? Is this what old people mean when they say they don't remember their childhood very well???" He also follows the sleep schedule that MM Mikey does for school.

I'll do awareness judgements for them a little later, just gonna put this out there for now

[chaoticevilbean]

Another Star Wars AU, TBN*

*To-Be-Named

I love time travel. A lot. So here is a time-travel au, with the CW trio.

Somehow, perhaps by touching a Sith artifact, perhaps by the Force deciding they should, perhaps from some sort of weird ritual the locals were performing that the trio didn't know about, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Anakin, Rex, and Cody travel aback in time.

[Please keep in mind that Canon Timeline has died tragically in a fire, and I am but the weeping widow with an inheritance.]

Due to whatever happened, they all also end up (technically) deaging. They still have their memories and their knowledge and skills, just stuck in smaller bodies. They can think and act like adults, but they also have to struggle a bit more to implement Older Skills in Younger Bodies.

Ahsoka is 2. She's nubby. She's emotional. She's tired and sore from her deaging.

She wakes up in someone's office. She's in a spinny chair, a big one with leather padding. It's kind-of chilly in the room.

She's not thinking, because all her brain is putting together is that she's still tired. She grabs the jacket off the back of the chair and pulls it over herself. She goes back to sleep.

Rex and Cody wake up together.

They are their actual age, which is to say they're both about eleven.

They find themselves on Mandalore. In the more wild areas.

(let me believe that there are parts of the planet that aren't covered in city)

(also, this is the Mandalore in the cartoons)

They find a teen trying to wake them both up. Rex has absolutely no clue what's going on. Cody has a vague idea, because this girl looks very similar to a picture he once saw...

Obi-Wan does not fare as well. He is 3.

He wakes up in someone's arms. He's just as tired and sore as the other three. However, he's also got more awareness because he's in someone's arms.

He looks up to see who's carrying him.

He looks around at the people walking with them.

He starts crying. He cannot help this, as he is suddenly flooded with Emotions, and he is Smol. Smol = harder to handle Emotions.

Because Qui-Gon is walking right next to him, tapping away on a holopad as they go. Dooku is on his other side, on a comm call where both parties sound very tired.

And Obi-Wan is being held... by Obi-Wan.

So, yeah, not that great for a suddenly Smol Obi.

Now, Anakin is 8, so he's better off in that perspective.

But he wakes up on some remote planet without anyone around. He just was in the middle of a group, so he ends up kinda panicking.

Then he hears something coming towards him, and he panics more.

He's Tiny! He's Smol! He's massively at a disadvantage against attacks! He can't fight off whatever is on a planet like this!

It's Mace (and Depa).

Anakin, however, doesn't realize this. He has gone Feral.

Back to the beginning

Jango Fett has been very busy w/Important Mand'alor Paperwork all day. He finally has time to go and relax a little, and he makes it all the way down to the exit before he realizes:

It is really cold outside. He is not in armor bc he was planning to only do paperwork today (though he still has many weapons). When one plans to stay in the same room for almost the entire day, one does not wear normal garb.

That said, he has no protection from the cold. He forgot his jacket upstairs. He rushes back up to his office.

He distinctly remembers that he left the jacket on the back of his chair, not on the seat.

He also is wondering what that lump is.

He arms himself, grabs some of his "emergency" armor plating, and walks over to the chair.

He lifts his jacket up, expecting a bomb or some paperwork that fell off the desk, or something logical.

He does not expect to find a tiny Togruta child clinging onto the fabric, whining as they're woken up by his yanking of the jacket.

Jango's brain stutters for a moment, then he kicks into action.

First things first, he wraps the jacket around the Togruta. They thankfully stay asleep. Then he turns up the heat, because he knows the office has gotten colder in the twenty minutes or so he's been gone, and Togruta are from warm temperate zones.

He decides to call, in this order, a guard who can help him watch the Togruta (they did break in, after all), a medic to check the Togruta’s health, and the first person he can find in his contacts that might know an adult Togruta.

Next group

Rex and Cody manage to get the teen to stop fussing over them for long enough to ask for her name.

Her, clearly lying, but that’s understandable: My name is Ine.

Cody, who knows exactly who this is now: Oh, kriff. You’re Duchess Satine, aren’t you? Kriff.

Rex: Wait, Satine? As in the General’s Satine?

Satine, now very suspicious and reaching for her stunner: I think you need proper medical attention.

Cody, looking down at their eleven-year-old selves: Yeah, I think so, too.

They agree on one thing, at least.

Next

Obi-Wan is crying. Loudly, uncontrollably, w/too many Emotions to even care that he’s supposed to be an adult rn.

Other Obi-Wan is very uncomfortable, bc he doesn’t know how to handle children too well.

They found this kid unconscious in the middle of a ruined, abandoned town.

Obi-Wan was meant to hold this kid while Qui-Gon did research and Master Dooku tried to convince the Council that it was entirely necessary to bring the kid back to Coruscant. Granted, they can still give the child to the locals at any time before they make it back to their ship, but apparently the Force is Being Loud.

The Force was Being Loud when it told Master Dooku to come along.

The Force was Being Loud when it led them to that town.

Qui-Gon and Dooku have argued fifteen and a half times on this mission, and an additional six times on the flight here. Obi-Wan is trying to mediate but also doesn’t want to overstep. The Force is Being Loud, sure, but the kid is also Force-sensitive so it might be something off that.

He didn’t argue with holding the kid bc he thought that it was better than being caught between the Masters.

Holding a crying child and trying to get two adults to stop arguing bc they can’t decide how to comfort the kid is not better.

Obi-Wan keeps walking past them to the ship with this baby. He does what he’s seen some crechemasters do to the younglings. The kid eventually calms a little, and he belatedly realizes that both Masters are still behind him, not with him.

NEXT

Anakin is panakin.

He is currently in a state of Feralness. His instincts have kicked into overdrive, full-on Survival Mode.

Depa and Mace do not know this. All they know is that there was suddenly an extremely powerful Force presence that started fading quickly (bc Anakin started shielding).

They burst into sight of Anakin and are suddenly attacked by all four feet and some of Feral Force Child.

It’s all they can do for a good minute or so to avoid losing their fingers, eyes, or untorn clothes.

Mace puts a few things together very quickly.

This planet is uninhabited by any sapient life. Therefore, this child is utterly alone. This child also is clearly strong in the Force, and knows how to hide their presence, for whatever reasons. Mace is a Jedi, and therefore is bound by certain duties.

He decides it is his Duty to get this kid back to Coruscant safely.

Back to the beginning

Ahsoka wakes up to find a familiar face looking down at her. She’s still tired, but not as much. She’s very aware of her size, and does a few quick observations.

She does not fully know who Jango Fett is. She does know that some clones run off bc they hate war and weren’t given a choice an- no. Not going down that path yet.

Ahsoka assumes, semi-incorrectly, that she was shrunk or deaged and somehow found by a rogue clone.

She knows it’s a rogue clone bc they’ve got weird armor.

So she does the logical thing and tries to comfort this clone bc he looks really worried and kinda panicked. She stands up on the spinny chair and tries to balance and he practically lunges to help her and she can’t help but giggle, but it comes out in a bunch of chirps instead.

The clone picks her up and looks really awkward so she pats his face bc that’s the best she can do bc she doesn’t want to disprove the fact she’s two yet.

For all she knows, this rogue clone has no idea she’s actually a Commander in the GAR.

He doesn’t, but for different reasons than she thinks.

NEXT

Rex and Cody go with Satine to the city. They have introduced themselves and said that they were separated from their aliit. They don't know where said aliit is.

Satine is highly suspicious by this point, bc these two kids recognized her with only part of her name, and they were alone, and they speak Basic with Mando'a thrown in.

Basically, she thinks that they're children of people like Death Watch, but she's too young to know that Death Watch isn't really into children.

Rex and Cody get checked over by a medic, but also start trying to get access to some working comms. They are refused on account of being suspicious children (which makes them a little upset bc they're not children)(Well, they are, but not those types of children)

They have not yet figured out that they are in the past, bc Cody and Rex only know that General Kenobi talks about Duchess Satine, and they know about Padme Amidala from General Skywalker, so clearly this Duchess is really young and the General simply viewed her as someone he wants to protect.

They are very very very wrong.

NEXT

Obi-Wan manages to calm himself somewhat now that it's just him and... him.

He is three, and he knows roughly what's happening, so he knows he should probably act like a 3yo.

Unfortunately, he has very little understanding of how child ages work. 3 is smart enough to go up the stairs and communicate with adults, but def. not old enough to speak sentences that are 15 words long with at least 2 5-syllable words.

Fortunately, his older (younger?) self doesn't know children either.

So when this 3yo starts telling him that he needs to leave the two Masters on the planet and head to Tatooine really fast, Obi-Wan is more concerned about the idea than the strangeness of "this is a 3yo suggesting this".

Obi-Wan is really good at convincing people. Including himself. He manages to get Padawan Kenobi to leave supplies where the ship is supposed to be and head towards Tatooine.

He says that the Masters will be fine, they know how to survive, and they need to be alone together in order to work through all the tension. Plus, it gives them plenty of time to talk to the Council.

Toddler Kenobi also tells himself that he'll take the blow and say he used a mind-trick.

Padawan Kenobi doesn't believe him yet, but Toddler Kenobi smiles like a very smug adult and says "you'll get there eventually". What he truly means is up in the air.

NEXT

Anakin, since waking up, knows much less than everyone else. Which is saying something.

He knows he's Smol. He knows he's Alone. He knows Someone has come and they are Strangers.

One thing about Anakin's instincts is that they are very much Survival Based. He was Feral when he joined the Jedi, only he had to hold those instincts back for most of his life bc of being a slave.

A slave cannot bite someone who approaches and Vibes Wrong.

By the time he felt okay with being Feral Out Loud, he also felt safe enough that he didn't need to activate his Survival Mode.

What I'm trying to say is that Anakin does not realize how strong his Feral Instincts are. He has absolutely no control over them rn.

When Mace decides to Help this child, this child is trying to Maul them.

Mace makes a small ruckus to draw Anakin's attention to him so Depa can move back. Depa pulls out her saber now that she won't hit the kid. The kid notices Purple and Bright and Lightsaber.

Lorge Jedi Mind says this is Good. Safe. Jedi.

Smol Feral Brain says this is Dangerous. Mean.

Anakin freezes on sight and just starts tracking Depa's saber. She does one of those things where a snake or something is focused and the person waves the fire or the food slowly to make sure the wolf is watching it and usually they toss the thing away so the snake follows it.

Mace instead takes this opportunity to wrap Anakin in his cloak. And Depa's cloak. And the spare ones in their bags.

Feral Child is not happy with this. Feral Child is also unable to scratch or Maul or do things other than bite and snarl.

Depa carries Feral Child while Mace comms the Temple and they walk back to their ship.

The Temple is having a field day.

First, one of their Shadows reports that a well-known bounty hunter got an emergency message from a pal of theirs that said Jango Fett needs help learning Togruta childcare.

Then they get a call from Dooku, which is not the mission report they wanted.

Yoda: Mission report, you have?

Dooku: Of a sort. We successfully spoke with the locals, then went to investigate a rather large disturbance.

Mundi: A disturbance?

Dooku: We found the source to be a Force-sensitive child.

Mundi: So you are here to ask for more time on the planet?

Dooku:...

Yoda: Bring the child back, you wish to?

Dooku, unapologetic: He is of an acceptable age to be admitted into the Temple, and no other beings were around at the time to entertain the idea of there being guardians.

The Council is sighing and muttering bc this is a Disaster Lineage (and they haven't even met the other two yet). Their call is interrupted by the sound of crying and Dooku saying the child's woken up.

Then there's another Shadow who sends a message saying a set of twins that seem like Death Watch were found by the heir of Clan Kryze.

Finally, to top everything off, they get a call from Mace Windu and Depa Billaba. Two very dignified, not-at-all chaotic Jedi from a perfectly respectable lineage.

Yeah, most of the Council and the Order itself forgets that Yoda had a hand in raising Windu. Yoda "Feral Grandpa" who throws children at every problem. Grandson isn't doing too well? Throw a child his way. Other grandchild is struggling to cope with grief? Throw another child their way. Oh, there's a war going on and newest grandchild is angry a lot? Here's a child!

The entire lineage has a soft spot for children.

Anyways...

Mace: Our mission was a success. We found the artifact and both specimens.

Koth: How long until your return?

Mace:...

Yoda: Found a child, you did?

Gallia: Master Yoda, that's a rather illogical guess. Once is unusual, twice is-

Mace: Oh, did Qui-Gon find a child as well?

Yoda, smugly: Bringing the child back, are you?

Depa, from the background, after a rather loud snarl is heard: We do not bite things, young one.

*more snarling*

Mace: We have no reason to believe he was not alone.

Tiin: *deep sighing*

Mundi: *mild confusion noises*

Koon, eagerly: Please send photos of this youngling. For the archives, of course.

Mace, nodding sagely: Of course.

*extremely loud yowl* *sounds of Mace turning*

Mace: DEPA!

Depa: He nearly bit off my finger!

Mace: That doesn’t mean you pinch him!

Depa: What else am I supposed to do?!

*sudden exclamation filled solely of Mando’a, Huttese and Twi’leki curses*

Mace: So, I don’t know if he speaks Basic, but Master Che should be able to talk him through a check-up.

Yeah, several Council members are experiencing headaches now. Normally, they would have some empathy for Mace and his own stress-induced migraines. They currently do not.

Right after that call, Dooku calls back to say that Obi-Wan has left without them.

Mundi: He left the child with you, right?

Dooku:

Mundi: He left the child with you, right?

Obi-Wan did not leave himself with the Masters. Obi-Wan has listened to Mini-Obi and is off on some wild space adventure to a criminal-run planet.

The toddler won’t stop staring at him. He asks for a name. The kid says to call him Ben.

OW: Is that your name?

“Ben”: It is a name I am called :)

OW: That isn’t what I meant.

“Ben”: I know :)

Ben also keeps staring at OW’s lightsaber. OW decides to make sure the kid doesn’t start playing with it when he isn’t looking.

MEANWHILE

Ahsoka has figured out that she was really very oh-so wrong. She’s on Mandalore. As in, the Mandalore that is under Jango Fett. Bc she’s with Jango Fett. He’s holding her hand bc she was nervous about the strange looking medic (who was just wearing armor, but not clone armor and civies don’t wear armor.)

Ahsoka knows very little about Jango Fett. Clone Buir, Mandalorian leader, tried to kill Master Kenobi. Also dead.

He asks how she got in. She shrugs. She is too small to fight back so she can’t let him know anything. Whatever everything is right now. But also, he doesn’t seem mean or evil or anything.

Oh yeah. Skyguy said that Mandos love children. That's why the clones were so protective of her, even with Skyguy on her side of the argument.

She decides to use this to her advantage. She can probably get herself a comm, and enough time to call the Temple. If she can convince them she at least knows a Jedi, then they can come get her and she'll work from there.

ELSEWHERE

Rex and Cody are getting really upset. This Duchess is really nice, but she's acting really weird and keeps insisting she's not actually called Duchess. No one will give them a comm, they keep getting weird looks for speaking Mando'a even though they're on Mandalore, and Satine's father keeps mentioning a Fett. Maybe Boba's set a bad example again.

Rex starts to fall asleep, to his chagrin. He's too bored, sitting and getting some abnormally extensive check-up. Cody is fine, but he's used to the calm that is General Kenobi. Rex usually has a Togruta teen in the vents and a Human that is never where he's supposed to be.

Rex does, in fact, fall asleep. His "twin" starts glaring when a doctor goes to wake him up. Cody makes it clear that his brother is like Cat: once asleep, you do not wake.

Satine is giggling, but trying not to let the others hear. Cody does. Cody looks at her. They have a stare-off.

Cody goes back to glaring at the doctors. He will not admit to any emotions besides Protect™.

BACK TO

Obi-Wan and Ben have made it to Tatooine.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Ok i got an monster tom x scientist reader au universe thing and no it does not take place in the red army base

Reader is a scientist and is asked to run some tests on a new specimen/monster they found, and when reader sees the specimen/monster they actually think it's kinda cute but then some other scientists shock him and even stick some needles in him and reader just feels bad for the specimen/monster at this point so nighttime rolls around and they hack into the cameras to shut them off and wear a mask so they won't get caught and go to the main room where the specimen/monster is they the reader introduces themselves to the monster the monster, thinking they're gonna hurt them, immediately backs off obviously scared and reader convinces the monster that they're not gonna hurt them and the monster shrinks as he's mostly human and says "your not gonna hurt me?" And they reassure him that they're not gonna hurt him and they sneak into the readers car and drives off the lab that the monster was in and reader asks what the "monsters" name is and says their name is "tom". Then reader makes a pit stop to a store real quick to get tom some clothes and then reader drives to they're home and introduces tom to their room and asks if they want some food/ take out or not an he says yes and they get some chinese food and watch some TV, after eating they both go to bed and reader suddenly finds themselves in Toms arms whimpering a little, and reader just kinda decides to pet his hair and rub his horns a little bit which make him purr then tom wraps his tail around reader and asks them to do it more and they do do that untill they notice that he's asleep then they both fall asleep.

Whew, I enjoyed writing this one ^^

Summary: Reader, a scientist, rescues Monster Tom from the lab that experimented on him and brings him home

...............

"Dr. [L/n], I'll let you oversee today's tests on TR-03."

"Alright, chief." You smiled awkwardly as your supervisor handed you the clipboard. It contained the subject's information: a one-eyed horned monster of an unknown species, though your colleagues have theorized it to be a demon. "What kind of tests are we running on it?"

"Resistance to electric shocks. There's evidence of uranium possibly circulating in its blood, so you'll be watching them extract samples as well."

As he explained, your smile gradually dropped as you looked over the information, seeing a ton of redacted information, including several incidents of the destruction it caused prior to its capture.

"So it's gonna be shocked and stuck with needles? Sounds painful."

"Its armor is thick, so it shouldn't feel a thing. Besides...I don't think you need to worry about whether it'll be painful for it." Your supervisor spoke in a rather condescending tone. "After all it's just an animal."

"I...yes, sir. I'll go oversee the tests right away." Not wanting to argue further, you just left his office and wandered through the building.

You were eager yet anxious to meet this monster.

Eventually you reached the area where the creature was being held, climbing up the stairs that led to the skybridge so you could look down into its holding chambers.

It was a massive dark purple creature, with two bright violet horns and a single black eye. Surprisingly it was allowed full movement, though judging from the many claw marks on the walls...it wouldn't surprise you if one day it was chained up to restrict such behavior.

You actually thought it was..kind of cute? It looked scary in pictures, but up-close it didn't seem as terrifying.

That only made you feel more pity for it as other scientists entered the chamber, clad in protective suits, with electric prongs and needles.

Almost immediately the monster seemed aware of what they were going to do, its eye widening as it stood on both feet and cowered in the corner. It growled in warning, only for a scientist to jab its leg with a prong in response, eliciting a roar of pain.

You physically flinched, feeling bad for the creature. But you took notes on its response to electric shocks.

Subject recognized equipment immediately, perceiving them as danger. Responded painfully to electricity.

Soon after being tortured, the monster seemed dazed, allowing another scientist in a hazmat suit to approach it and stick a needle into its hip. The vial of blood collected turned out to be red, with a glowing green aura.

As you took more notes, you heard a small whimper and looked down, seeing that the monster wasn't putting up a fight.

Instead it was...crying?

Sure enough, tears leaked from its eye as more of its blood was drawn, being electrocuted as some sick form of "sedation". It was hard to tell whether the people inside felt any sort of sympathy, but they just took their leave without saying a word to each other. Only a mere nod.

You didn't want to be here any longer than you needed to, so you finished your report and began heading back to your office.

Though you noticed the monster looking up at you, and you couldn't help but frown and murmur a simple:

"I'm sorry."

.............

After your shift was over, normally you'd go home for the night.

But on the ride home...you kept thinking of TR-03 and couldn't shake the images and sounds of its pain.

The way it responded to just seeing the prongs, and the way it looked at you as though it was begging for help, seemed far too human for it to be just a mindless animal.

Of course, you never questioned the secrets this lab kept--not wanting to be fired. But they seemed to be hiding a lot of stuff about this specimen, never speaking about its origins or even what it was capable of.

You may have only seen it for the first time today, but you wanted to know more about it. And you had a feeling that you won't get the answers you wanted by asking around.

Oh no..you were going to free it in order to find out the truth.

Not just to satisfy your own curiosity, but also because...the way it was being treated was far too cruel. To the point where it was crying.

You couldn't stand for this unethical treatment any longer. You had to do something..and be smart about it lest you got killed or worse.

After making a quick stop at a store, you found a mask and changed your clothes, completely disguising yourself. Then you got back in your car and returned to the lab, parking it somewhere far away so that you can sneak inside.

Fortunately you had security access in case any of the specimen breached their chambers. Thanks to your hacking skills you were able to disable every security camera you could find, putting them all on timers so they'd turn on later in the morning. You didn't want to rouse any suspicion.

That was the easy part.

The most important and difficult task lied ahead.

...........

As soon as you entered the monster's chamber, it woke up and grumbled with annoyance. Clearly it didn't like its rest being disturbed.

Though upon seeing you and the mask you wore, it tilted its head. "Grrrah..?"

"Shhh, it's okay." You whispered, removing the mask so it could see your face. While you were awestruck to actually see it up close and personal, you knew you had to keep calm.

But that might've been a mistake as it seemed to recognize you--the one who was watching it earlier today. It immediately backed into a corner, terrified as its chest began heaving with anxiety.

You couldn't blame it for its reaction, though your gently put your hands up and hushed it. "Please don't panic. I'm not here to hurt you. I wanna get you out of here."

"Hrrgrah?"

"Mhm." Smiling, you just pretended you could understand it. "I don't like how they treat you here. They call you an animal but..I know you're more than that."

The monster calmed down a little, before glancing up to the opposite corner. He made a noise of confusion upon seeing that the security camera's annoying red light wasn't blinking.

"I shut that off so nobody can hear or see us."

"H...ack..?"

You blinked, surprised that it could speak some English, but the fact it wasn't cowering like before was a sign it was trusting you. "Yep, I hacked the whole security complex. Now's our chance to escape, but..ah shit."

Suddenly, it never occurred to you: your mission was focused on getting to the monster, but you never considered how you'll get out with the monster.

"Damn..I'm not sure how we'll sneak you out without...." However, you trailed off as you saw it changing into a smaller form.

But it wasn't just shrinking, it was actually turning partially human.

How curious, nobody told you about that. Maybe that was part of the redacted information.

The monster turned out to be a human male, who still retained his horns, tail, and dark scales and fur, which covered his body. His brown hair was messy and spiky, and interestingly enough he had two black eyes.

He didn't have any clothes, obviously, so you took off your coat and put it around him. "So you're human, huh?"

"Your stupid friends' experiments wouldn't let me turn back for a while..." He grumbled in a slight British accent. "You sure you're not gonna hurt me?"

Understandably he got defensive, knowing you were working for the people who tortured him. But you shook your head. "No, I won't. I'm quitting this shithole and I'll take you with me." You took his hand reassuringly, noting that it was still clawed.

He gave you the tiniest of smiles in return. "Heh, glad we're both in agreement."

Soon you both quickly made your escape, luckily not running into any trouble. Your car was still parked right where you left it, so you got in and drove off.

You definitely won't miss working for that lab.

The roads were mostly empty at this time of night, so you were able to breathe easy knowing nobody's gonna chase you. Now seemed to be the best time to talk with the monster.

"So uh..do you have a name?" You spoke up. "I know they call you TR-03 but it doesn't feel right to call you that anymore."

"Tom." He answered as he looked out the window. "My name's Tom Ridges."

'Huh, that explains his code name.'

"I'm [y/n]." After noticing a nearby plaza, you saw a clothing store and decided to make a quick stop there. Tom seemed to be confused, and a bit worried when you left him in the car all alone, though you reassured him you were just buying some clothes for him.

He waited, trying to keep himself out-of-view in case any strangers got too nosy. But before long you were back, opening the driver's side as you peered in and sighed with relief, seeing him halfway out of the chair.

"Jeez, you scared me..thought somebody got you." You sighed, shaking your head.

"S-Sorry, not trying to get any unwanted attention. It's the last thing I need.." He sat upright, though he was surprised when you handed him a bag. Inside was a blue hoodie, boxers, and gray sweatpants. "Oh, cool."

'That's all he has to say?' His reaction was a bit underwhelming. 'Then again..maybe he hasn't processed that he's never going back to that hell chamber yet.'

You just shut the door and waited for him to get dressed, and when he tapped on the window you got back into the car. He definitely looked more comfortable now.

After giving him a smile, you continued on your way home, feeling glad that you rescued him from that place. You had no idea if he had any place to go, granted you don't recall seeing any information on his address nor any relationships.

So he'll stay with you.

...........

"Luckily I got a spare room. Excuse the mess." You chuckled as you showed Tom the extra room in your house, turning on the light. "You can stay here for as long as you'd like."

He nodded as he looked around, before feeling his stomach grumble. In embarrassment he put a hand over it, glancing at you. "Sorry..the food they had was shitty, I'm sure you knew."

"Yeah...you want takeout?" You took out your phone. "I don't feel like cooking tonight so I was gonna order some anyway."

"Sounds good."

"Alrighty, I'll call in the order. We can go watch TV while we wait."

Once more Tom nodded, following you into the living room space where you both sat down on the sofa. He sighed and leaned back, turning on the TV while you ordered some Chinese food.

This situation felt so...comforting and familiar..

For a moment he gazed at you, seeing you look through the menu.

He knew he wasn't the only prisoner back in that lab. So he couldn't understand why you'd choose him, of everyone you could've helped, but...he considered himself lucky.

For once he felt like he could let his guard down a little.

Some time later the food arrived to your house, and you both ate it while watching various TV programs. You asked Tom a bit more about his home life, though he didn't have much to talk about.

Whether he didn't want to say anything or forgot it thanks to the experiments was a mystery, but you wouldn't pry. You'll get your answers sooner or later, though not tonight.

Tonight you both deserved a good rest.

Afterwards you headed off to your own room, letting him know that he can knock on your door if he ever needed anything.

You got into your pajamas and crawled into bed, yawning.

It had definitely been an eventful day. You were eager to sleep in, knowing that you won't ever go back to your boring (and unethical) job.

But just as you had turned off the lights and dozed off, you heard your door creak open. With a slightly annoyed sigh, you sat up and turned on the lamp beside you, before seeing it was Tom.

"Tom? Your room is..."

Though you fell silent when you heard him...whimper? His eyes were white, indicating he was in some kind of distress.

But he crawled onto your bed, practically situating himself in your arms while making sure he didn't jab you with his horns. You were perplexed by his actions, though you finally realized..

He was just scared.

You held him in your arms, rubbing his horns soothingly and petting his hair, murmuring promises that he was safe. In response he nuzzled up to you, tail wrapping around your body as you both laid down.

You only stopped for a moment as he started purring, which made you chuckle softly. "Purring, huh? That's new."

"Can you keep doing that?" He grumbled, closing his eyes. "It was nice till you stopped."

"O-Oh right, sorry." You continued the previous motions, deciding to hum a small song as well to help him sleep.

Eventually you stopped once he dozed off completely, and your cheeks felt warm upon seeing how adorable he looked. 'And to think I was afraid of this guy?' You mused, before turning off the lamp light.

Soon enough you fell asleep as well.

If this is how Tom expressed his thanks...you'll take it.

[thefairyletters]

✨ Spooky Recs✨

I read a lot of fanfictions... More than I am proud of. I thought I should recommend as I go before I lose sight of their existence among the sea of my favorites.

Since past few days I have been craving for some creepy, unnerving fanfics that will keep me restless and awake at night. I remembered my favorites and wanted to read more of the kind so I looked up, patiently going through each story that sounded compelling. I also revisited old stories for nostalgia's sake.

Of course, rare as they are, in Naruto fandom no less, it's even harder to find a horror and mystery fic that is well written, not dropped under 2 chapters, and really keeps your attention.

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

Genre: Horror, Mystery, Comedy

I've rated 4 aspects of the work -

Writing – I don't judge writing based solely on the grammar and vocabulary. I also consider how the author expands upon a subject, if they are consistent with the facts, if they are able to keep the attention of the readers regardless of their creative writing skills.

Characters – If the characters are well-developed, in their given character, if OCs have any real significance to the story.

Plot – How gripping is the storyline, if the story sticks to its original plot, the structure of the story, plot holes.

Flow – Mother-of-slow-burn, slow-but-steady, steady, fast, I-am-speed

.

.

.

When the flowers cry : TCOOKIES777 || M || AO3/FFN || SasuSaku || Goth Horror || Post-Canon, set during Blank Period || Ongoing

When one of the greatest medical-nin in the world goes missing in what should have been a simple delivery to the Land of Spring’s Hidden Snow Village, the rest of Team 7 must reunite to find her. But even the most powerful team of shinobi will find themselves challenged in a battle against the supernatural. With Sasuke's return, vengeful ghosts of the past will test him and his love.

My thoughts : One of the best stories I've read in a while, and top tier SS stories. I read this in one sitting. I never listen to music while reading, preferring silence, but for this one, I suggest you do as the author says. Also, keep some tissues and food with you. This story is major in mystery and minor in horror but otherwise full of SS fluff.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 9/10

Flow: Steady, if a bit confusing (but that's why it's mystery)

.

.

Kyuro : silver_shot || T || AO3 || SasuSaku || Mystery || Post-Canon || Complete

“Oh,” says Naruto, “well, its sort of like that. Except in this village, the story has a way more darker ending – it basically goes like this: the girl and the guy plan to run away together. The guy steals a bunch of treasure, and stashes it away. But then, when he goes to get the girl at her village, he kills her and decides to run away with all that money. But then he is killed by the guards of the girls village and now they're both dead and the treasure is hidden away somewhere”. Sasuke stares blankly at the blond, “that story makes no sense”.

My thoughts : I know you must be thinking the same thing as Sasuke – "makes no sense". I did too, but it's a pretty cool short story. It lies on the funny, creepy side that slowly starts to lose its funny touch. SS makes stupid mistakes later on but it could be because they are MCs. The ending is very ambiguous. It's not my favorite mystery but it is something. Enjoyable read but not something I will pick again.

Writing: 8/10

Characters: 8/10

Plot: 8/10

Flow: Fast

.

.

Moon stuttering in the sky : xfrinz || T || AO3 || Gen || Mystery || Pre-Shippuden || One-shot

Kakashi is suspicious of many things about Haruno Sakura. Too many things about her don't make sense, with too many incongruous explanations.

My thoughts : Author of this story just summarised Pre-Shippuden in less than 4k words and made some tiny changes to it. Not much though. One of my favorite gen fics yet. Read it if you haven't yet. You'll feel more sad than thrilled tbh. But worth it.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: I-am-Speed

.

.

Breath mints : silver_shot || T || AO3 || SasuSaku || Comedy-Mystery || Post-Canon || Ongoing (maybe)

Their home no longer exists with the life it once had – in fact no settlement thrives anymore; they exist only in a snapshot that contradicts time itself. Families within their own homes sleep in a slumber that they cannot wake from. Those that were chatting on the street prior to the event simply drop their heads and remain unresponsive.

My thoughts : I picked it up for Mystery but I stayed for Comedy. But of course that's not to say supernatural elements in this story is not it, but it sure pales in comparison to effortless humor in this story. Lee and Kiba pair is something you don't see often but they get along too well here. Charactisation is on point as well. SS angst! + NS angst (but it's downplayed)

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 9/10

Flow: Steady

.

.

The Curse : sincerelyLen || T || FFN || SasuSaku || Horror || Post-Canon || Ongoing

Team 7 is unexpectedly assigned an S-Ranked Mission involving an unsolved mystery of 10 years. An eerie adventure that will test their teamwork, strengths, and greatest fears. Do you believe in Curses?

My thoughts : My all-time favourite horror Naruto fanfiction. To me, this sets the standard of how mystery and horror elements should be handled. I have never been able to get this story out of my mind even it's been years. Perfect charactisation of Team 7 with Smart-yet-Stupid!Sakura, I-can-fight-aliens-and-reanimated-corpses-but-keep-ghosts-away-from-me!Naruto and I-dont-get-paid-enough-for-this!Sasuke. I especially love OCs here. They kinda reminds me of Pillars from KnY. You must read this story, loosely based on Zombie apocalypse + curse concept.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Slow-but-Steady

.

.

Silent High : Istoria || T || FFN || Gen || Mystery || Post-Canon || Complete

A bit of the Silent Hill series mixed in with Naruto. Trapped in an illusion whose rules are unknown, they struggle to find answers before darkness consumes them.

My thoughts : One of the best mystery fanfictions I've read. I especially loved how this story handled Genjutsu in the best possible way it could without it turning into some cliche, ghost story. Though really, this story has shown what my greatest fear actually is. I will never be able to leave my back open to a wheelchair. This story has simple writing yet it gives you creeps with the twists and turns. A must read one because it is unlike any other in this list.

Writing: 9/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Steady

.

.

Silence of the Damned : Daystar Clarion || T || FFN || Gen || Psychological Horror, Mystery(?) || Pre-Shippuden || One-Shot

When Naruto wakes up to a dead body in his bathroom, he begins a quick spiral into madness.

My thoughts : Listen to Halsey's Control while reading this. Quite chilling, deals with mental issues and morbid but in a fascinating way. It gives a new meaning to Dark!Naruto, but one that actually makes sense. I never saw the ending coming... I had something else in mind and I was convinced it would be, but nope. Here's a sequel to this One-Shot (Uzumaki's War) which I never picked up.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 9/10

Plot: 9/10

Flow: Slow-but-steady

.

.

To the Victor : Letta || T || FFN || NaruSaku || Psychological Horror || Shippuden || One-Shot

Naruto loses the fight and Sakura is a trophy of war.

My thoughts : A very twisted NS, if you squint. It's not horror but it might as well be... it is still a disturbing story to see from the eyes of Sakura. Quite chilling to be in Sakura's shoes. But I love this because it is one shot and I loved the ending.

Writing: 9/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 8/10

Flow: Steady

.

.

Under the Skin : BukkakeNoJutsu || T || FFN || Team 8 || Body Horror || Pre-Shippuden || One-Shot

Your actions don't make you a monster. Your reasons do.

My thoughts : There's a reason why Shino is my favourite team 8 member. In my opinion, Shino is also one of the strongest Shinobi of his generation. His clan techniques are just that horrifying. This story is testament to that. He is so terrible.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 10/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Slow-but-steady

.

.

Instant Message : Keelah || T || FFN || SasuSaku || Murder mystery || Modern AU || Incomplete

She gave him names to kill, in order not to be killed herself. But having blood on her hands was turning out to be much worse than dying. "…There's still round 2…3…4…" When does this game end? She asked. "Don't you see, Sakura?" He said, "It never does."

My thoughts : I read this story a long time ago and have read this twice. Personally, it has the most interesting concept of all stories in the list. It reminds me of Vocaloid series, "Bookmark of the end". Kind of. To those who are thinking of picking this up, go ahead! It's a great book and has one of the best suspense I've read in Fandom. BUT, it has been stopped in mother-of-all-cliffhangers and Author is MIA for 4 years now. But, all things considered, it remains to be one of the best stories I've read.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 9/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Steady

.

.

Monomoth : Ohtze || M || FFN/AO3 || SasuSaku || Horror || AU || Incomplete

Everything ends, eventually. Eight years after the war, Sakura's unhinged and Sasuke's obsessed. The fields are filled with corpses.

My thoughts : I read this story right after "The Curse", my favourite. From what I remember, Sakura and Sasuke are both mentally deranged, in different ways. Lots of death and gore to stomach, so not for weak readers. There's no speak of fluff in this one. Zero, Zilch, Nada. I wouldn't call it your classic 'Horror', but it is very disturbing, so psychological horror is more like it. Don't eat food while reading this one. Did I mention how Sakura is mentally disturbed beyond help in this one? And Sasuke is obsessed. If these suit your tastes, go ahead.

Writing: 10/10

Characters: 9/10

Plot: 10/10

Flow: Slow

.

.

.

I hope you enjoy this list. Let me know your opinion in comments.

[zodiactalks]

Love Life with Aquarius Woman & 5 Brutal Truths

Aquarius women have long been considered one of the most unconventional signs in the Zodiac and with good reason! This quirky, charming, intelligent, and bold sign can easily turn your world upside down.

But, are you ready for her?

Falling in love with an Aquarius woman can be an easy, almost unavoidable thing to do. However, it doesn't come without its challenges; after all, a woman as outstanding is bound to be complicated.

Her intelligence, her ability and preference to think outside the box, her desire to explore the world in new ways, and her closely-guarded heart will make any attempt at a romantic relationship with this revolutionary sign a bit of an odyssey. It'll be the kind of romantic adventure you'll fondly look back on in years to come.

It can also be just plain challenging, full of bumps and arguments that make for bad memories rather than good.

So how do you make sure you're getting the former and not the latter? By learning as much as you can about Aquarius women as quickly as possible.

Here are five brutal truths about loving Aquarius Woman.

#1. They're obsessed with being authentic.

Aquarius women can't stand the thought of being one of the bunch and will go through all kinds of extremes just to make sure she stands out as unique.

They're often described as weird, quirky, eccentric, or just plain freaky, and while those adjectives fit rather nicely, it's essential to understand that Aquarius women often play up to them.

Make no mistake, Aquarius women are often into unusual things and love some of the weirdest things you can imagine, but they also tend to be a bit performative in their interest; the moment they find something quirky and fun to do, they'll make sure the world knows it.

It's not enough that they're into collecting spiders or photographing other people's auras, oh no, they'll talk about it, and they'll talk about it often, ensuring no one around them can miss the fact that they're so quirky and unique.

It's one thing to be into weird stuff. It's a whole other thing to make that "quirkiness" part of your personality, and Aquarius women tend to do both.

So, if you have unconventional interests, chances are you'll find something in common with an Aquarius woman, just be prepared for her to make a big deal about it.

#2. They're know-it-alls.

No one discusses the fact that Aquarius women are wicked smart and interested in cerebral pursuits. They love learning new things, adore reading non-fiction, are obsessed with collecting all kinds of useless little facts, and generally are always pursuing the opportunity to acquire new skills.

Aquarius women are one of the most brilliant and capable women in the Zodiac, and they'll make damn sure you know it.

Honestly? There's nothing wrong with this. They've earned the right to flaunt and share their knowledge and skills with the world. After all, what good is information if you don't use it? What good is knowledge if you don't share it?

The thing is, Aquarius women are far from humble, and if they're proud of their achievements –as they should be– they'll make it their life mission that you, and everyone else, are aware of them.

She wants people to know she's the smartest and wants people to look up to her. In fact, though she might not voice it, she wants people to feel a little dumb next to her because she knows she rocks that hard.

As you can imagine, this behavior can get quite annoying, so make sure you're ready for it because it's not going anywhere.

#3. They hate romance.

Aquarius women are one of the least romantic creatures in the face of the earth.

Their straightforward, logical, somewhat aloof personality translates to a person who thinks romantic gestures are corny and stupid, and someone who would rather skip all the niceties and superficial gestures and get straight to business.

It's not that they're incapable of love, as this sign loves fiercely, it's more that they prefer to keep their romantic gestures as plain and sincere as possible.

They tend to see traditional romantic acts as performative and not really honest. Flowers and chocolates may be nice, but did you buy those because she likes it or because you think that's what she expects of you?

Long walks down the beach, sunset kisses, expensive dinner dates followed by a movie? Those are perfectly serviceable dates, yes, but are they really what you want to do, or did you choose them because she's a woman and those are the to-go date ideas?

Aquarius women want something sincere, something honest, something that truly reflects what you two like and what unites you as a couple. Giant teddy-bears are good, and all, but they mean nothing if you just get them because you think that's expected of you.

Instead of using movies and pop culture to plan your date, personalize it to make sure it's something she really would love!

If she's into birdwatching, then a picnic in the forest might be better received than a romantic dinner at a restaurant. If she's really into fishes, then a coelacanth plushie will beat a teddy bear every single time.

Forget what the movies have told you. If you love an Aquarius woman, none of those tips will work!

#4. They're incredibly indecisive.

Maybe it's a side effect of their highly active mind, perhaps it's just the way they interact with the world, but Aquarius women overthink just about everything that happens in their lives, and, because of that, they can be incredibly indecisive.

Trust us; an Aquarius woman doesn't take decisions lightly.

Yes, she might be an adventurous spirit always on the lookout for new experiences, but that doesn't make her spontaneous. Far from it, Aquarius women like to consider the pros and cons of all activities she joins and will make their due diligence when it comes to researching and making sure that activity is right for them.

Even when they've done everything in their power to ensure the best possible outcome, they'll doubt themselves and second-guess their choices at any given moment, simply because they're well aware that no one can plan for everything.

#5. She reinvents herself constantly.

If you want to be with an Aquarius woman, you need to be prepared to love her through her many, many phases. None of that 'I hope she doesn't change' nonsense. She will change, and she will change constantly.

She'll explore new interests, try her hand at new hobbies, pursue new objectives, and follow new styles and fashions just to see if it works for her.

Aquarius women want to experience everything the world has to offer and, to do so, they can't allow themselves to be static. They need to be in constant motion, always changing themselves.

If this sounds challenging, it's because it is.

This trait is one of the things people have the most trouble understanding about Aquarius women, but it's the one you need to embrace the fastest to have a happy life with her.

She won't become a different person from one day to the other. Aquarius women are, after all, always loyal to themselves, but she will pull the rug under you just when you think you're getting used to her quirks.

Our advice? Don't try to understand her; just love her as she is.

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel supplemental: The Ecumenes and the Gods

Roughly 250 years ago, the world was tightly-linked by teleportation magic. People could visit any city on the Jewel in the blink of an eye, and the idea of national borders was pretty meaningless. Instead, there were distributed, nonlocal governments that competed for citizens.

(If you've read any of Terra Ignota, you'd recognize the hive system.)

The death of teleportation magic has shattered the world into local polities with their own governments, but the six Ecumenes still hold varying sway over the population to varying degrees. Their individual law systems are still largely recognized by local governments, and their cultural impact is felt the world over.

The Ecumenes are, of course, churches of the gods. Below are their profiles, and overviews of their legal systems.

Eman, Windspinner, is the God of Freedom.

Eman is the Ecumene for those with no Ecumene- those who feel no need for the law to protect them, or can't stomach the restrictions of other gods. (Analogous to Blacklaws, in Terra Ignota.) No law will protect you if someone wants you dead, or tries to steal your things- but if you're a dyed-in-the-wool anarchist and believe in your own ability to navigate the world without an authority above you, the Ecumene of Eman will... do nothing whatsoever for you, because it's barely an organization. Typical adherents of Eman are either self-assured warriors, unrepentant violent criminals, or both.

Eman, the god, has a total commitment to autonomy and asks nothing of his worshippers. His clerics do, as is their ultimate inviolable commandment: whatever they want. Typically, though, the sort of person whose mind is similar enough to Eman's to be capable of channeling his divinity as a cleric... cares a lot about the freedom of others, and goes about trying to prevent other authorities from unlawfully enforcing laws on Emanites.

Andra, Veilpiercer, is the Deity of Understanding.

Andra is a pretty standard deity of wisdom and knowledge and all that- nothing unexpected there. They just want to know everything, and value learning new things!

The governance of the Ecumene of Understanding is very interested in empiricism. They want to know what the best form of government is, and do that, instead of picking one way of doing government and sticking with that no matter how badly it backfires. So they run experiments!

Under Andra, there's no such thing as a law that doesn't have an intended outcome, a standard for measuring whether it met that outcome, and a deadline to measure the outcome by or else repeal the law. As a result... the legal code is constantly changing based on heated arguments between politicians and armchair legal theorists (between which there is little distinction) over whether targets were met. And what this means is that the legal code is in constant flux, and you basically need to be a part-time lawyer to keep up with the laws governing you.

Making matters worse, teleportation and long-distance communication broke, and so geographically distant Andra polities now need to work harder to stay in sync. The Ecumene of Andra, therefore, is the major force behind the building of roads, and the sponsoring of adventurers who do the hard work of forging through the wilderness to deliver messages. They sponsor the Deathseekers' Guild, a brotherhood of monster hunters that take on the most dangerous prey they can find.

Typical adherents are academics, adventurers, and people who think they're smart enough to keep up.

Diamode, Fruitbearer, is the Goddess of Family.

Diamode has a plan for you! You go to school, obey your parents, graduate and get married, buy a house in the suburbs, have 2-3 children, care for them, retire, be cared for by them, and die. That's the plan. Their legal code encourages filial piety and conformity to this perfect way to live your life. Tax breaks for married couples, credits for having children- be fruitful and multiply! It's sort of the bastard child of Confucianism and protestant Christianity- it would absolutely be the most popular ecumene in the US, if that were how such things worked.

Typical adherents of Diamode are... there's only one typical adherent of Diamode, because the whole point is being the one way Diamode wants you to be.

Iska, Peakstrider, is the Goddess of Triumph.

Iska values self-improvement above all else- becoming Better, developing skills, climbing that ladder. There's no point to living if you're not trying to be the best at what you do! If it makes you stronger, it's the right thing to do!

Unsurprisingly, this is a popular goddess amongst warlords and merchants, who like having a divine mandate to enrich themselves at the expense of others. Iska only cares that you're winning- if someone else is losing, that's not her problem. They get whatever they deserved for being worse at whatever the conflict was about!

Iska's legal system is based on a sort of complicated virtue-ethical rubric. The winner of a legal dispute isn't the person who acted least criminally- the winner is whoever is the better person. And the criteria for who's "better" are set by people in power in the Ecumene of Triumph, which means "better" tends towards "more like the people in power", and "less like the enemies of the people in power". It's a fairly degenerate system, full of lots of infighting.

Ccorde, Skyholder, is the Goddess of Harmony.

Back when the gods were creating the world, Ccorde was responsible for keeping them all on the same page. She arbitrated disputes and authored compromises that would keep the gods on-task and creating something stable. She's... the reason the world isn't a Snarl, if you're familiar with OotS. She wants everyone to get along.

Everyone who's a god, anyway. She kinda likes it when people get along, but her number one priority is making sure people don't fuck up the world she worked so hard to broker. She has a lot of rules around how people are allowed to change and interact with nature, and she leans towards the hyperconservative with respect to the environment. She wants this world to be exactly the way it is, forever, and is annoyed by ways in which it changes.

Unlike most of the rest of the gods, Ccorde is fairly active in the management of her Ecumene. The rest have all moved on to the latest hot new world everyone's obsessed with, leaving Ccorde to conduct the busywork of keeping all their boring old worlds running smoothly. It's thankless and borderline futile work- big things like teleportation magic keep breaking, and she can't fix them on her own.

Typical adherents of Ccorde are druids, naturalists, and other hippies that love animals and being in tune with the environment and stuff. Ccorde's Ecumene is also one of the more competently-run bureaucracies around, and has a lot of non-ideological adherents despite its strict rules. Because the system works, dammit- without demanding as much from you as Diamode.

Karou, Heartlifter, is the God of Joy.

The Ecumene of Joy are hedonists. Hedonic utilitarians, to be precise. They eschew other considerations in favor of the basic observation that people ought to be happy and if your government doesn't help its people be happy then what the fuck is even the point of a government?

Implementing those principles, though, can be a bit of a mess. Working out complicated legal codes is boring and not fun, so their system for resolving legal disputes is "have a cleric of Karou personally evaluate what course of action would result in the most utility on net".

In the real world this would be a disaster- a system immediately captured by power-hungry narcissists who set themselves up as the people who decide what course of action is best. Luckily for the Ecumene of Joy, they have a pretty decent selection process for their leaders.

See, in order to be a cleric of any god in this world, you need to fulfill a specific requirement. What a cleric actually does is channel divinity, see. The gods are busy people! They don't have time to personally investigate each and every little issue their clerics bother them with. They're just people, ultimately- they don't have the spare brainpower. So they have to borrow brainpower- specifically from people who are, cognitively, near-identical to themselves. The more like a god you are, the more easily that god can borrow your brainpower and instantiate themselves on your hardware. Casting divine magic, in this setting, is literally becoming your god for a little while in order to do something your god wants done. That's what it takes to be a cleric!

Since you can't cast divine magic without being totally in sync with your god, you can't be a power-hungry selfish bastard and also be a cleric of Joy- because Karou isn't a power-hungry selfish bastard. He's the god of hedonic utilitarianism, and will make a good-faith effort to resolve a dispute happily every time.

(It doesn't always work, though, since Karou is not the God of Being Correct About Predicted Consequences All The Time, and clerical error is always a source of difficulty for the Ecumene.)

Other Gods

The six Ecumenes are the only organized god-worshipping organizations that run governments, but there are loads of other gods- they just don't involve themselves in legislation. It's fairly common for someone to belong to a particular Ecumene just for the government, but worship one or more other gods as a matter of personal faith.

Alanala, Waveracer, for instance, is the Deity of Tides, with dominion over the surface of the waters. They're commonly worshipped by sailors, for obvious reasons- and in particular, the Lastwave clan that controls Oyashio.

Lolth is a classic- Webstretcher, Goddess of Spiders, is worshipped by the drow. She's known for dark rituals and cannibalism and other evil type things. (The drow diaspora regards these as hateful rumors, and insist that Lolth is a benevolent figure who promotes togetherness. The consensus among right and proper elves is that this is a smokescreen and that the blood libel is super true. Hrm.)

And... ?????? ? What's this symbol? It's on the bracer that's bonded to Saelhen, but it doesn't represent any god Looseleaf's ever heard of. Maybe not all the gods show themselves to the people...

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: How do you like your  🥚🍳 in the morning? Carly: no 🐣 Carly: ha Ali: 🐔 didn't show up in your roost later, did he? Carly: he must be scared of you Carly: 🔮 Ali: or my 🐺 Carly: maybe Ali: eggs aside, how you feeling, chick? Carly: 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: 👎👎👎👎👎 Ali: unacceptable! Ali: what do you need, kill or cure? Carly: cure forever Carly: im too young to die Ali: I'll swing by with my witches brew Ali: actually doesn't taste like ☠ either Ali: pure 😇 Carly: aw Carly: really? Ali: 'course, not gonna half-arse the job Ali: and it makes a full pot, no sense in not sharing the 💚 Carly: 💙 Carly: wat does it taste like? Ali: like Christmas 🎄🎅🤶🎁❄️🌨️☃️✨🌟 Carly: 😋😊🥰 Ali: it's got ginger and peppermint in Ali: the only other person hanging out their arse is my brother and he would rather die 'cos he's grumpy 👴 man energy so Carly: no 🦃 tho yea?! ha Carly: oh no he sounds like my da Carly: which cute bro is it? Ali: definitely not 😂 Ali: some greens but not sprouts Ali: the freckly one Carly: did u heal my heart to 💔😢? Carly: course itd be the most beautiful one Ali: oh no, you're delirious Ali: I'll come quick 😜 Carly: dont b jealous 👼 hes only the most beautiful boy Ali: 😏 My ma'll be gutted Carly: do u have a tea for that? Ali: 🍋 'cos she's so bitter? Ali: I'll see if she goes for it Carly: noooo 🍯 so she wont be Ali: you're too sweet yourself, Walsh Carly: aw Carly: but ur the 1 who saved me Carly: ur the sweetest Ali: anyone would Carly: nah ur the 1st Carly: not just saying it to u get ur fairy wings Ali: had to fly away from that particular 🐔 plenty myself Ali: harmless and flightless though he is, most the time Carly: yea Carly: he talks about u wen hes been on it Carly: the 1 that flew away Ali: uh oh Ali: can't let a boy ✂ your wings Ali: ever Ali: ever Ali: 👼🏽 🐔 🐧 🐦 🐤 🐣 🐥 🦆 🦢 🦅 🦉 🦚 🦜 🦇 🐝 🦋 🐞 🦗 🦟 🐓 🦃 🕊 Carly: im 😕💫🙃 but idk if those were the guests i danced with Carly: did get a cute lil 🎶🎤 to fall asleep to tho 💙🕊 Carly: 🌚🌝🌛🌜🌞 Ali: very 👸 of you though Ali: I can 👀 it Carly: my ma is trying to make me clean Carly: 🐇🐁🐀🐿🦔🐾 pls Ali: also unacceptable Ali: not 'til you're better Ali: use my wings to fly through and 🤞 he don't get the wrong idea about who I'm there to see Carly: [sends her a pic of whatever caravan mess she caused last night that her mum is raging about] Carly: so u can play a game of spot whats got her 😠 Carly: cuz idk Ali: Fun 🧐🤔🤨 Ali: angry mothers are my forte Ali: [does the circling the hazzards moment on the pic] Carly: making her angry is mine but nah to knowing y ever ever Carly: k ur cute & smart Carly: 🌟 Ali: it's rarely logical, but 🤫 on that or it's hulk levels in 0-60 Ali: how are you this nice when you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: that's a skill, rare one at that 💎✨ Carly: my da is looking green must of had his own 🎶🍻💃 ha Carly: idk i can b nicer? but k now i know ronan aint been talking bout me when hes 🍺 or 💊 Ali: can be a tea party for three Ali: have to bring his own 🎩 though Ali: not to me anyway Ali: but as you can tell Ali: 🐺 keeps all the 🐓🐓🐓 away Carly: 🐇🐇🐇♠️♣️♥️♦️🐇🐇🐇 Carly: she is fierce Ali: she likes to think so Ali: 🐶 really Carly: course ur not scared of her silly Carly: u love her Carly: im a 🐈 person ha Ali: [sends her a load of pictures of Bluebeard she didn't ask for rather than being like do I love her hmm] Carly: AW!!!! Carly: 🥰🤗 Ali: he's captain ☠🏴 but there's always room aboard Carly: thats the best offer ive had from a gentleman ever ever ever Carly: whats his name? Ali: Bluebeard Ali: and he is MOSTLY a gentleman if you can handle some toe nibbling Carly: 😍😍😍😍 Carly: into it Carly: ive done more for lads i just met who aint as beautiful so Ali: 😂 I feel that Ali: honestly, it's quite comforting, when he doesn't sneak attack you with it Carly: [sends her a selfie that shouldn't be as adorable as it is] Carly: now u can introduce us Carly: 👋 baby blue Ali: the 😍😍😍😍 are mutual Ali: I can tell Carly: yay Carly: 🧡 Ali: is there anything else you need/we want for the tea party? Ali: en-route at last Carly: ur really coming? Ali: yeah, sorry I was ages, it's a whole process brewing it Ali: also a dead giveaway you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 which obvs my ma takes as her cue to be all Spanish inquisition about it Ali: 📚 of my mostly-fictional-but-which-are-and-which-aren't-mother exploits later Carly: sorry iou so much magic Ali: nah, don't worry about it 👸 Ali: who doesn't love a little scandal with their morning brew? she deffo does Carly: its too late im looking for 🍀 Carly: among the 🌼🌼🌼 Ali: awh Ali: I'm never turning down extra luck Ali: we can make daisy-chains Carly: its the dresscode Carly: soz da Ali: does he have a 🧔? Ali: that's a #look Carly: not rn Carly: my ma wasnt on @ me only to clean up Carly: he had his turn Ali: damn it Ali: maybe a nice belt Ali: I'll be 🤔 Carly: dont b 💔😢 he has bushy eyebrows Ali: same Ali: he's earnt his invite back Ali: your ma gonna have to chill though Ali: and it ain't that kinda tea 💔 Carly: you wont b able to tell if shes angry or surprised Ali: 😚 ⬅ I know the vibe Ali: you do you babe Carly: she used to let me sort em out but there was an accident Carly: which im sworn to secrecy about Ali: I'm so good with secrets 🙏🙏🙏 Carly: k Carly: my head zoned out but my hands kept going like Ali: you were meditating you can't help having  🌌🧠 Ali: I'll 🤭 now and never tell, don't worry Mrs W Carly: @ school yea im meditating on your q sir relax Carly: ha love that Ali: they just ask questions to answer it themselves, what is the point Carly: u coming for my ma again? Ali: 🤫 bad first impression, that Carly: shes heard it from ronan too sorry Carly: lad has loose lips Ali: honestly Ali: 🙄 can't keep up with my bad reputation Carly: ud think hed be better at kissing Carly: its talk talk talk Carly: more good things about u than ive made it seem like tho Ali: he was a big talker Ali: probably 'cos he ain't allowed with the lads Carly: if he talked about what a 👼 u are & how 💔😢 he is theyd uninvite him from the bonfire Carly: its sweet really how hung up hes got Ali: he only thinks I'm an 👼 'cos he took my virginity probs Ali: that's more suitable 🔥side chat Carly: he goes on about that alot but I thought he was lying Carly: oh no that sounds bad Carly: not calling u a slag ur obvs not its y he likes u more Ali: 😂 I'm fine with slag Ali: all definition dependent anyway Carly: yea same Carly: can be hot if ur in the mood Ali: right, and if I'm a slag 'cos I didn't marry him then I'll take it Carly: & hes not allowed to marry gorgers theyd wanna throw him in the 🔥 Ali: exactly Ali: we can't both be 💔😢 forever can we boy Carly: just me @ the party til u came to my rescue Ali: 🥺 Ali: What was he even on about then, like? Ali: dickhead Carly: idk i zone out wen he shouts @ me too Ali: I can always poison a cup and send it his way Ali: just say the word Carly: hes not that bad Ali: okay okay, just some laxatives Ali: 'cos he's a bit 💩 Carly: ha Ali: no 🌼🌼🌼 unless he says soz then Carly: but his beautiful curls 🥺 Ali: hmm, a good point Ali: be strong, baby Carly: ill throw one @ him & run away Carly: back to u Ali: you're so adorable Carly: says u Carly: 👼👸🏼 Ali: 💚 we're gonna have an adventure when the tea hits okay Ali: I've decided Carly: k thats the kinda 🎄🎅🤶🎁 it is Carly: i do want the energy of a kid on xmas morning Ali: that's the best Ali: how I'm tryna be every day Carly: 💫⭐️🌟✨⚡️☄️ 🚀🛸 Ali: if only 🚀 Ali: this bike can only go as fast as my lil legs can carry, like Carly: aw baby Carly: i shouldve asked u where u live before this 2nd rescue was launched Carly: im sorry Ali: No distance is too far for a fair maiden Carly: ill have to see what other 🔮 i can find before u get here Carly: dont love ious Ali: there's no ious Carly: [sending her loads of pics of her with or just pics of the cat lady's cats that she's rounding up for this tea party and they're adorable] Ali: 😍💞😻 Ali: okay, non-debt fully paid though Carly: [just rambling about the names she's given each cat cos her and cat lady don't know each other properly til Ali comes along and like facts about each cat/her fave things cos she's a big nerd] Ali: I love them Ali: I'm gonna get them some 🐟🐟🐟 when I get tea party tings Ali: some cream, awh, okay, this is happening Carly: im picking enough 🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼 for everyone Ali: should've put Bluebs in my basket Ali: next time Carly: aw Carly: Humbug might try & fight him Carly: youd b there to protect him tho Ali: I can ref Ali: my little brother is always trying to play-fight everyone so I'm well-versed Carly: is he ticklish? that works for me Carly: broken up lots of fights Ali: big time Ali: his kryptonite Ali: reckon it's against the rules in professional fights but preparing him for anything like any good big sister Carly: ha Carly: aw i bet ur an amazing sister Carly: if i had 1 maybe id wanna be on site sometimes Carly: my ma's eyebrows r hardly a call to home Ali: he might disagree but he's 5 so what does he know 😉 Ali: feel that though Ali: home is just a base, whole 🌍 out there Carly: wen ur 5 you argue to argue Carly: yea if u dont use ur wings theyll think u dont want em 💔😢 Ali: flying is like riding a 🚲 though Carly: r we goin on a 🚲 adventure? Ali: definitely Ali: ugh, need one of those wagons for the 😻😻😻s Carly: ☺️its gonna b so fun! Carly: we might meet more 🐈🐈🐈🐈 Ali: way better than 🐔 Carly: ha Carly: do u have 🔮 left to help me find shoes? Ali: have you checked the fridge? Carly: [a pause while she do] Carly: theyre not there 😕🧐 Ali: damn, that'd be the last place I'd look though Ali: were they in the mess your Ma was sounding off about fr Carly: o mayb Carly: if i was wearing any when you dropped me off Ali: 🤔 I don't know if I recall any glass slippers Ali: I'll ask Lene hold up Carly: 👸 energy Carly: but idk if i wanna scary 🐺 at my door Ali: turns out she's actually your 👵 Carly: ha my grandma is 💍 to god Carly: its not close to the energy shes putting out Ali: she'd probably tell your actual that God is a gay girl Ali: nah she's well 😇 around fam, just hide behind your Ma and me, baby, you'll be fine Carly: ha that wasn't in any of the kids bible stories she sent me every 🎄🎅🤶🎁 Carly: her god is 😠 than Humbug Carly: he likes to shout so i gotta zone out Carly: aw that's sweet ur ma loves her too? Ali: Hooray for Catholicism, yeah? 😏 Ali: she loves my Ma, more like Carly: we spend our sundays on our knees nana but its 🚽🤮 or u kno a bigger sin Carly: u do look like her i remember Ali: that's not QUITE 🚽🤮 levels but close 😂 Carly: nah its nice u have the same 👀💙✨ Carly: idk who i look like Carly: postman maybe Ali: now I don't know whether to 😳 or be 🤨 you like my Ma too Ali: you look like you and that's Ali: 💛 😍 😘 🥰 😚 👸 👼🏽 🐰 🌼 🌻 🌞 🍓 🍑 🍨 🍰 🍭 🍬 🎆 💜 Carly: yea 🤞🙏🌠 the postman isnt my da cuz hes a ride Carly: aw now youve got me 😳 Ali: rude, my postman is not Carly: 🚫💌 then baby Carly: ill text u instead Ali: so grumpy, don't stick your hand right into our house if you don't wanna get bitten, sir Ali: not by me, whatever Ronan has said Ali: though I'm well flattered I'm getting a text back Carly: ha its k its not that u use too much teeth Carly: & course ur my hero Carly: tho 🤞🙏🌠 wont b an sos every time Ali: good, can't have him putting you off with blatant lies Ali: it won't be if I do a better job at the heroics and get there before any bad shit can happen Carly: its k i like it Carly: helps me remember what i did Carly: 💔😢 no lads r spelling their names out in bruises for the who Carly: 🐇🐾🐇🐾🐇 Carly: nooo theres no better u could do Carly: ur flying to me faster than anyone has ever ever Ali: amateurs, like Ali: so rude, ain't they heard you're 👸 Ali: I'm basically there now, prepare for the best tea party you've ever been to Carly: aint wat theyve heard but idc Carly: yay 💙 i havent had 1 since me & my 🧸🧸🧸 Ali: I'll be 🎶🔊 it so get in the know lads Ali: awh, can I meet them too? Carly: not too 🔊 or ur gf will bite me which could b fun but im not trying to do u like 💔😢 Carly: some r shyer than others but if u work ur 🔮 how u did for me ull make friends Ali: fill your boots, babe, I don't reckon she's your type, like Ali: I'll be on my best behaviour 🤞 Ali: the loveliest guest you've ever had 🤞🤞 Carly: be fun though Carly: not boring Ali: 😲😲 Ali: Is that the impression I give off? Ali: or another Ronan tale, either way Ali: gonna have to prove otherwise now in the most extra ways imaginable Carly: nahhh Carly: he don't lie to me its his 1 saving grace Carly: its just like a pls Carly: to u & the universe Ali: I won't be boring Ali: trust me Carly: k Carly: i do ur a lifesaver Ali: nah Ali: just happy to help Carly: im happy we r mates Ali: me too Ali: idk why we weren't before, like Ali: too many people at school Carly: & i dont go much ha Ali: this is true Ali: lesser spotted walsh 🐦 Carly: oooh wat colours am i Ali: 💗💜💛🧡💗 Carly: cute Ali: very Carly: wats ur fave colour? Ali: It's a harder question than people reckon, that Ali: like, there's so many beautiful things of every colour Ali: if I can decide for the day, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to all the others Carly: sorry Carly: i havent decided on mine either Carly: when i was a lil kid it was 💛 for the 🌞 then wen i started goin out it was silver for wat i thought the 🌚 looked like Carly: but ive seen so many new colours since Ali: kids always know Ali: they're much smarter than adults about everything Carly: i bet ur lil bro is the smartest Carly: like u Ali: he likes red for 🚨❌🛑⛔️🚫💯‼️🥊🥤 Ali: and I see the appeal Carly: does he like 🍎? i kno somewhere that sells the reddest shiniest 1s Carly: or we cud just throw 🍅s Ali: he's at the anti-fruit stage Ali: but I reckon he could be convinced if we let him smother 'em in caramel and sprinkles Carly: its a date Ali: Me first

[askordaremyocs-blog]

Meet the Cast!

Azeroth Ximena - Agender; Biological Male - Taken by Beatrice - 14 [Human or Bug Master] Azeroth is an agender human child who is very carefree and happy,they never let anything get them down and they're always seen with a smile on their face. They do develop Anxiety because their [adoptive] mother is considered a lesser being and they're afraid that he will be classified as one to. They are albino and they are extremely sensitive to the light, their eyes are a light pink and their hair is white. It sticks up in the back as well and it's generally very messy at the top. They often wear a white shirt and some grey shortsThey don't care what pronouns you use either. 5'6 [ buglord version will be described upon request ] Beatrice Jones - Transgender; Female to Male - Taken by Azeroth - 14 1/2 [Human or Bee Person] Beatrice is a transgender female to male, and prefers to just be called Bea. He is generally rather calm, collected, and antisocial. He grew up in a rather broken and poor home set in the ghetto basically, and has an array of problems only Azeroth knows about. He keeps to himself most of the time, but does show a protective attitude towards friends and lovers. He has blonde hair that is rather fluffy, with pieces of it in the front sticking up. His hair practically hugs his face as well. He has large roundish eyes that are dark brown, and he's rather self conscious of them. He usually wears a large sweater, chest binder of some sort, and black skinny jeans.  He/Him Pronouns - 5'4 [ ask for bee version ] Ambrosia Williams - Female; Biological Female - Single - 16 [Werewolf] Ambrosia is the third wheel between Beatrice and Azeroth, she typically hangs out with them. She is a smart, devious and rather loud person when she tries to be. She can make plans out of nothing and is very skilled with her words. Though she has anger problems which hold her back, making her yell and be spiteful at people almost at a random. She doesn't realize she's a werewolf, and not only one but possesed by one of her ancestors who have an old way of thinking. Sometimes, she can come across as homophobic without even realizing it. She has a half shaven head with a long ponytail on one side. She/Her Pronouns. 5'0 Alice Ximena - Female; Biological Female - Single - 37 [Human] W.I.P Retired Pilot - Prosthetic Mask on Half her Face - Has Two Adoptive Children Sora and Azeroth Ximena - Single - Asexual - Does well with guns - Little Bit Chubby - Current Medical Student - Bookworm - A Tad bit Lazy now - Anxious in Large Crowds - Forgiving - Protective of her Children - Had to Cut off Part of her own Face - Has short hair - She usually wears sweaters and vests together - She loves boots - Tomato Soup addict -5'7 "Sarcasm" - Agender; Biological Female - Single - 24 [Unknown Alien Race] Sarcasm is a 24 year old flying ship pilot with no self preservation skills or social skills. They have a severe case of PTSD and an extreme phobia of needles and small spaces. They seem to get nervous when around authorities as well, and is considered the last of their race. They usually wear dressed but secretly they want to rid themselves of any gender. They are wearing a steampunk dress, a hat and some goggles that wrap around the hat. They have a very brown palette as well, and wear boots with straps on them. She has short green hair that is uneven as well. They/Them/She/Her Pronouns. 5'3 Jiji - Agender; Biologically Unknown - Single - 7 or 16 [Human/Snake Hybrid] Jiji is a seven year old lanky child who doesn't classify as anything. No one really knows what they are but they always keep a happy attitude, they say to use whatever pronouns you see fit. They have bright red eyes, pale white skin, and white hair that looks almost beige. They often wear a scarf and they have prosthetic limbs. They are a naive, adventurous, and usually very quiet person. They have a child like innocence and they don't know much of the harsh realities of the world, they were adopted by an unknown female. Whatever Pronouns. 4'3 [ ask for older version ] Sora Ximena - Female; Biologically Female - Single - 8 or 17  [Human] Sora is a short insomniac with a love and passion for rabbits and drawing. She can be a bit brooding at times and she isn't very active. She is rather skinny and has severe asthma and gets bothered by most perfumes and such. She is very down to earth, reliable, and still has some childlike innocence in a way. She doesn't know how to talk to adults at all and is actually rather scared of them. She has a phobia of sharp objects. She watched her mother die infront of her, and she has taken up her piano playing. She has long black hair with a bunny hat and a galaxy dress, she often wears cat socks as well. She/Her pronouns. 5'2 [ ask for older version ] Forsaken Manifestation - Female; Biologically Nothing - Single - Unknown [Forest Guardian] Forsaken is a forest guardian capable of the ability of changing her height, and many other offensive things. She is a nature lover and can be seen as a pacifist, and that would be true if she wasn't so quick to hurting people who pollute. She'll slap you or even sometimes have flesh eating monsters eat you, it all depends on how bad the pollution is. She is almost constantly flustered and she is very shy, she doesn't show herself often and she keeps hidden. She has been progressively growing blind as flowers have started growing out of her skin, though mainly around her eyes and neck. She has long green hair and a dark purple cloak with a white draw strap. her limps are black and claw like. She/Her Pronouns. Height is usually 5'4- 6'4 Soulsa - Male; Biologically Male - Single - Unknown [Demon] Soulsa is a slightly cocky, stern, and serious demon who has a hard time trusting people most notably other men. He has a rather beaten up frame, and he is noticeably very skinny as a demon. This is because his torture is basically continuous starvation, being a demon isn't exactly fun. He usually wears a skull mask to hide his face as well, and he usually wears make up though no one exactly notices. He has slightly tanned skin and black hair with green tips. He often makes puns as well. He can be considered the dad friend because of his generally serious nature. He/Him pronouns. 5'7 Ignacio - Female; Biologically Female - Single - Unknown [Demon] Ignacio is Soulsa's demonic partner in crime and she has the same punishment as him, though she got off a little bit lighter. She has a mask on with a broken nose and bloodied face. She is a very care free person who cracks jokes at everything, she is very aggressive towards new people who she dislikes. She has the same fear of men as Soulsa because they were both captured by the same people. She is only close to a select few people who she is protective over, and she usually holds herself as a better person than most. She has brown hair with a green streak, and she usually wears blue or yellow. She wears boots as well, and her knees are completely missing so she is technically floating. She/Her. 5'3 "Misonii" - Female; Biologically Female - Single - 26 [Half Demon] Misonii is a very short half demon who isn't exactly good health wise in the slightest. She's battling with numerous lung problems from the constant smoke she inhales, though she stays strong for an apparent unknown reason. The only reason she is alive right now is that she is a half demon. She wasn't born half demon however, but her deceased twin brother manifested and formed a strong enough connection to where they were basically the same biological entity. Though this has some side effects, it's much better than being constantly on her deathbed. She is stoic, quick witted, and rather arrogant but she really shines in her planning and strategy. She wears a trenchcoat, sweater, and she has brown hair that is constantly in a ponytail. Percival - Male; Biologically Male - Single - 26 [Full Demon] ^^^ "Interface" - Female; Biological Female - Single - 17 [Cyborg] Interface is an intelligent young girl who studies in mechanics. Even if she doesn't speak much and she uses signals, emoticons and ASL. She gets bored very easily and she always wants the action or something fun to happen. She is the wild card in a sense, not good nor bad she's just herself. She doesn't tell anyone her name and any information on her is unknown to everyone else. She has dyed hair, half of it is light blue and the other half is light pink. She doesn't show her face of any skin, and she has one robotic arm that she claims she made on her own. She/Her pronouns, 5'5

[his-lost-horn]

unifyingspark: But oh gosh that little tiny in Cyclonus’s arms when she’s all painted and decked out, maybe at a rare formal function that Galvatron orders Cyclonus to attend with the babies to show them off. Gorgeous Cyclonus with his baby, in a crown his mate wove of things to protect her and keep her aura clean, painted with crimson shiny paint to match her optic and claws, dripping in jewels from conquered worlds of black and red. Just gorgeous and delicate and perfect. (Now /that/ I’d like to commission shitssssss). His darling little baby could not be cuter.

unifyingspark: Galvatron giving one of his speeches (and he is a fantastic public speaker). Jealous glances at Cyclonus, the cherished mate and bad tempered right-hand of the Empire. Then he can read mouths and sees someone lean towards the helm of another and say, ‘doesn’t matter how hard they try, he and his sparkling will always be hideous, what does Lord Galvatron see in him? He still has his birthing scar on his chest from budding, why polish your armor and leave that front and center? Primus pity that femme, awful thing, she sends a chill down your spinal struts, doesn’t she?’

unifyingspark: ‘Maybe he’s one of those weird bots who thinks its attractive to reproduce like a disgusting organic’

unifyingspark: ‘The little mechling is very handsome but a beastformer, did you know?’

unifyingspark: ‘Maybe Galvatron will have other offspring though I could bow to a beastformer, times have changed. Careful, the right-hand is looking at us.’

unifyingspark: ‘No he has a trained military stare, he looks broadly so it seems like he’s looking at you, he’s not trust me. Everyone in power learns to look into a crowd like that. He’ll go back to his ship, Camadal told me he’s afraid someone will try to hurt his babies so he moves about constantly. Coward.’

unifyingspark: ‘The femme moves abnormally.’

unifyingspark: ‘Twitchy.’

unifyingspark: ‘He’s looking, I swear, we should move further into the crowd.’

unifyingspark: // and then the after dinner meet-and-greet turns into "Little ones, would you like to have fun with Papa?"

unifyingspark: Cyclonus being a gossip favorite is prolly normal, I bet another reason he never wants to go to any of these things esp when the children are small, just sucks.

vxtum: Oh my god.. That is going to hit Cyclonus something cold - suddenly New Cybertron isn't so new after all

vxtum: Memories of his youth flooding back full-force

vxtum: But this time, he's got a horrific temper

vxtum: And he has no issues gutting people, even in the middle of Galvatron's speech

unifyingspark: LMAO really in the middle of the speech

unifyingspark: Oh god please, Galvatron would be trailing off watching Cyclonus slide into the crowd like water in a stream

vxtum: Watching Cyclonus on a hunt, having passed Tetta to Scourge, kissing her helm and murmuring that he will be back shortly.

unifyingspark: But Galvatron won't punish that kinda thinking -.- as insane as it is since he has a beastformer in his family and a little son with a beastmode, he doesn't make the links Cyclonus does... Galvatron longs for the old world. He means no malice, and if Cyclonus pushes him (and well Cyclonus has power, he can prune and lay down the law with an equal hand, he can help shape things to run the way he wants)... I know he'll protect his babies

unifyingspark: but oh god you know how scared shitless most everyone must be of Cyclonus, he must love when he catches someone who needs to die in one of those meetings

unifyingspark: standing in the back, silent, watching, waiting, hoping someone is fucking stupid enough to reveal themselves

unifyingspark: and sure as shit, always an idiot in Cyclonus' sight

vxtum: Galvatron smirking from the stage, watching Cyclonus track two or three of a group always making a point to keep distance between him, "Would seem someone has upset Lieutenant Cyclonus tonight. How.. /ordinary/. Run, you fools. He is just going to kill you." and then goes back to his speech

unifyingspark: Scourge hissing at him as he starts, "Cyclonus must you?"

vxtum: "Yes."

unifyingspark: Galvatron would enjoy it though, knows Cyclonus knows how to weed a garden har

unifyingspark: Near everyone hates little Tetta, I love it though it's horrible, because she's so cute and others see and feel the voidthing and are repulsed. Cyclonus must want to keep her away from that when she's small, no Carrier wants to feel his child feeling happy and thinking she's pretty because her parents told her she's pretty, then those outside their family are turning away to make a face, commenting she's hideous and creepy.

unifyingspark: Gravitas would get a little dig here and there about the beastformer shit but I think before the twins are grown Cyclonus has killed those bots (or Dinobot has as well), same with the ones who don't like mini-bots and such, that old world racism Cyclonus so hates.

vxtum: I mean, honestly. He can't and won't try to make it a thought crime to talk shit about his children, his family, and himself.. but if you're fucking stupid enough to do it in his proximity, then you're not intelligent enough to be a part of their empire.

unifyingspark: Galvy won't kill for those things either, he doesn't give a fuck what anyone is saying as long as they obey his orders and get the job done the right way.

unifyingspark: But Galvatron also lets Cyclonus do whatever the fucking fuck he wants (as always)

vxtum: Gravitas doesn't fucking care either, not when he's a teen and onward

vxtum: But he'd kill anyone who said anything about Tetta

unifyingspark: I don't think most mean it, they can't see her. They feel the Void and they're afraid, as they should be. Or whatever bad emotion, perhaps not everyone feels fear. If she didn't have a voidtaint, I bet many would think she was a cute little thing.

unifyingspark: Prolly, in the end, is good she has the taint. It makes her scarier than she is.

unifyingspark: Kind of an extra protection, I'm sure it starves trouble more than causes it

unifyingspark: Dinobot picking Gravitas up, showing him the crowd and saying loudly, "Look Prince, herd animals. What do we do with herd animals?"

vxtum: Gravitas' large optics brightened with excitement, surveying the surrounding individuals who had turned to look at them curiously, warily, and he tried to make a fierce, scary expression, baring his dentae and leaning forward, tiny servos bracing on his sire's arms. "EAT THEM! RAHH!"

unifyingspark: Dinobot snored loudly, proud of his beastformer quirks. "You are every bit as smart as your twin," He said, finding no fault in the young one. "Perhaps your Carrier will allow us to eat the idiot of the group, that is only fair..." He bent, long fingers fully encasing the boy's upper body, snug, safe. He set Gravitas down. "But you could sniff out the weakest link, you will not tolerate weakness in your pack. I am sure your Sire would appreciate you identifying a drain on his inner circle.”

unifyingspark: Scourge trying not to pass Dinobot an outright evil eye as he listens to the cranky old beastformer encourage Gravitas to sniff out weaklings for eating. I’m sure Dinobot let Gravitas eat a ton of sweets beforehand too, make sure the little one is extra jazzed up to fuck with Galvatron’s most loyal of New Cybertron. Really Dinobot wants to see if Gravitas picks out the same dickhead he wants to eat because that would make him so proud.

unifyingspark: god everything asshole about adult Gravitas is fucking Dinobot's fault *laughing

unifyingspark: Pushing instinct and wildness, yammering on about “his pack” and he being the big mech alpha wolf, rewarding individuality and selfishness and aggression, excusing bad behavior/defending him from Cyclonus’ cane, telling Gravitas he is just the most fucking special little fuck that has ever graced the universe and everything he does/thinks/wants is perfect, and then actually teaching Gravitas a shitload of very solid skills and skills most bots do not have, lost things, old world rule, survival, how to be both Cybertronian and animal and warrior--- but not enough to take away his individuality, never making it law, setting it all out and letting him pick

unifyingspark: You have the right to the universe and everything in it.

unifyingspark: Then Galvatron seals the final blow, that the mighty rule and make the laws.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: How'd I do? Your nan gonna give me another slap or shout me a drink next I see her? 😂 Janis: Well, I personally reckon you did alright but she's a harder woman to please Janis: I think you're outta the attack on sight group though so 👍 not bad for a night's work, lad Janis: How are you faring, I lost you in the crowd at several points so I'm dreading thinking who said what tbh Jimmy: 💪🏆😎🍻 Jimmy: Glad I had my bad boy shades, don't think I've been snapped so much in my life Jimmy: And at one point we basically had paps being so #goals Jimmy: but the insults were too slurred and 🇮🇪 to pack as much punch as you or your nan like Janis: mmblockoutthehaters Janis: not a fan of being the other side of the lens then, no? 😜 now you see my struggle, in all the ways 🙄 Janis: Yeah, they were on fine form, like Janis: Not Grace though, don't you think? Something's up and its not just date envy Jimmy: shut up you're sooooooooooo about being my muse Jimmy: yeah it was a good night all round, cheers Jimmy: it'll be drama with the flat whites or fuck boy. Lot of dumping done, wasn't it? Jimmy: Mia alone is a lot to get out of your mind 🎻 Janis: Suuuuure 😏 well, all the extra exercise with Twix is no doubt benefitting my grade in Sports so Janis: Owe ya one, don't I? Janis: Though reckon you just settlin' cos my actual model sister would charge you a fee, like Janis: More fucking fool me, ay? 😕😉 Janis: 👍 not too bruised? Janis: not just chattin' 'bout ya ego Janis: Probably right, yeah, it'll be Mia...I don't think she was that arsed about Harry, though she acted it Jimmy: I'd have to get in line, Twix'd never let me have first dibs collecting that debt Jimmy: I don't know what's more of a headwrecker that your sister is a proper model or that she's the only one #geneticsgamestronginyourgaff Jimmy: Still angling to get a pair of kicks off me? Take it up with 🎅 I did my bit on the 🎁 front 🤞 Jimmy: You better not be chatting that 😎 selectively remembering only your wins again, are you? Jimmy: Bet she's devo about Tammy #relatable 😂 Jimmy: what a giant hole in our lives Janis: She's 🥇 Janis: No matter what hype you're on Janis: True we're #blessed but don't let me catch you commenting on it again, IRL or on the 'gram Janis: I'll have to become that bitch and I don't think I've got the time tbh Janis: 🤐 nope, no complaints here, for the big man or yourself, like Janis: Hmm? I suddenly can't recall, maybe 'cos that useless bint next to us practically brained me when her club flew away from her Janis: Looks like you'll have to schedule a rematch if you wanna be covered in glory 🤷 Janis: Poor Lurch...who's the real loser here? Being such with bulllyimia Jimmy: Done and done Jimmy: Can't win 'em all...oh Tammy I thought we had something proper special babe Jimmy: what you doing today? Ready to take on the challenge any time you wanna lay it down Janis: So did she! But you will insist on bouncin' onto the next one, like 😉 Janis: make up your mind, Jimothy Janis: I'm wallowing in my pit currently...avoiding any fad diets and weird exercise regimes being implemented and spring cleaning and yet more leftovers curry Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: 😎💪 Jimmy: I envy that Jimmy: any suggestions for a film that me, Bobbin and Cass can sit through? I'm drawing a blank on an animated musical with violent themes rn like Janis: You wouldn't if you could smell me Janis: Sexayyy Janis: Hmm Janis: There's that one where all the dinosaurs die at the end? Right, they probably throw out the odd tune too Janis: I'd say Lion King fits the spec actually but don't wanna start their year off with a heaping dose of trauma Jimmy: With you there Jimmy: Fuck it I'm sticking Mulan on and shutting their gobs with sweets Janis: That'll do it 👍 no one gives a shit if the bad guy gets it in the neck Janis: especially not from a sassy lady #feminism101withgracieguru Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: she was really cracking out the nye vids #content Jimmy: silver lining of the 💔 a good GRWT Janis: Gotta show 'em what they're missing, or whatever Janis: Think Mia had a party at hers, purely so Grace couldn't come Janis: hostess with the mostest she ain't Janis: Devvo there wasn't another shit party for us to ruin tho, obvs Jimmy: school is still days away we've got time Janis: don't tempt fate, mate Janis: you've not got the 🍀 Janis: don't think my bro or the garda can handle it Janis: fuck knows where he is, still a no-show Janis: s'my job, like Jimmy: Maybe he's with my MIA pops Jimmy: weird one that'd be Jimmy: I did think he might have a new missus, but that's going a bit far like Janis: Both in the drunk tank, for their sins Janis: Maybe, Christmas wishes and all that Janis: Could find the time to give you a bell still Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: Wanna come over and walk the 🐶 ? Cass and Bobby'll be as 🤢 as I imagine you are polishing off this lot Jimmy: Can't count it as weird fad often as we're out Janis: Alright, save 'em from themselves Janis: and you from losing your mind 😵 Janis: not long 'til school now, save your wishes for that like the other single mums Jimmy: Done. Jimmy: Bring Gracie if you can find her, she'll have no secrets after 10 mins with them two Janis: I have the distinct impression she's avoiding me, which is weird, 'cos pretty sure I've said worse and been forgiven quicker, like... Janis: but maybe if I tell her her fave barista boy is there she'll come out to play? Janis: we've got a load of leftover sparklers, I'll bring 'em, so make sure they've got their gloves on Jimmy: 😮 maybe its her ny resolution Jimmy: 💪😎 guaranteed Jimmy: They'll be your besties then at least Janis: Yeah, guess she's sticking to all her promises this time, she's done with me forreal, at least 'til midway through the month, like Janis: 🎻 Janis: I'll bell her but no promises you'll get your fave twin Janis: who doesn't love shiny things? bet there's some bones for Twix too, what a 🏆 I am Janis: if there was any doubt left in your mind Jimmy: 😍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Oh, looks like she's at the gym Janis: thanks insta Janis: I'll leave it then Jimmy: Yeah, can't promise a decent work out, hyped as Twix is Jimmy: make do with you then, won't I Janis: Looks like it, pal Janis: Unlucky Jimmy: I'm well gutted, mate Janis: Better take it up with someone who gives a fuck 😜 Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: the dog is enraptured, thanks for the tip Janis: Stop yapping and get to moving then! Janis: I've gotta shower, its that serious Janis: let me live, boy, ugh Jimmy: [Sends a pic of him being kissed to death by Twix] Jimmy: you ain't that special, mate Janis: Ouch Janis: 🔪💔 Janis: double betrayal Jimmy: #hookedherwithmysobstory Jimmy: you did yourself over with the good advice Janis: always the way Janis: too smart for me own good Janis: i'll get back on the shelf, like Jimmy: speaking of should we take the oldies dog for them? I'd naturally be buzzing to see your nan again Janis: see, knew you loved it really Janis: worse than my sister Janis: but it is a point Janis: probably chewing through the walls as we speak Jimmy: #relatable Cass is much the same Jimmy: I better start penning my pops a note, more pages for him to have to read the better 😜 Jimmy: might stop at 5 sides if he bothers to reply to my texts like Janis: wondered what bit you was referring to there...like surely she's not wasting her time with boys already?! but gotcha Janis: phew Janis: that'd be a whole saga to try and put on a post-it Jimmy: Dad would love that, two of us out from under his feet Jimmy: Marry Bobs off if he could 😂 Jimmy: but nah she's only 😍 for Twix same as you Janis: its a real shame the gov ain't on his side for that one Janis: the travellers do it, and they all turn out FINE, geez Janis: think your Da would be obligated to at least provide you all with your own caravan though Janis: no escaping fatherhood, eh? Jimmy: 👍 stuff of dreams there Jimmy: I am about a decent caravan though Jimmy: same goes for the others, always asking me when we going back Skerries Jimmy: steady on kids that shit's still #raw Janis: Awks..that's a holiday romance for you, lads, gotta make it a one-way ticket, no returns 😂 Janis: Maybe by Easter hols you'll be able to show your face 'round there again Janis: Weather would be better too Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: But yeah #fullofgoodideasyou Janis: full of something, has been said 😎 Janis: gotta gee myself up to see that bath again 'neway, been strictly cold showers since, like 😉 Jimmy: 😏 new year, new you though so Jimmy: #yougotthis Janis: can't say 'make more of a prick of yaself in 2039' was high on my resolution list, soz about it Janis: know how much you enjoy it 🙈 Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: I was down for the challenge if you were 😜 Janis: 😳 Janis: always a fool for you, boo Jimmy: 💕 cute Janis: 🖕 do it all for the 'gram Janis: still hate u Jimmy: 💋 Jimmy: same mate, same Janis: i feel it Janis: how long can we keep this charade going, like? 🤔 Jimmy: Gotta stretch it out 'til v-day naturally Jimmy: in it for the 🎁 Jimmy: in that spirit you want me to pick you up or you gonna walk to ours when you're ready? Janis: or the next, steak and blowjob day Janis: I see you boy Janis: that said, if we eating steak and all the love-heart shaped confectionery, I better walk it 💪 Janis: this is clearly why people always get fat when they're loved up Janis: not saying weigh your Dad for proof when he finally arrives but Janis was timed out 18 hours ago Jimmy: not saying we've got one realistically Jimmy: How good's your guestimation skills? Could feel another 🏆 coming on Janis: FUCCCCCCCCCCCK Jimmy: ???? Jimmy: you okay mate?