sukuna and gojo use binding vows for sex, taking things like orgasm denials or touch deprivation steps further, where the other is contractually bound to not be able to do certain things, like touch themselves or touch the other etc etc
one such instance being a vow where gojo has a vibrator up his ass, but he can't touch himself or remove it, until sukuna specifically, pulls it out.
he keeps the vibe in throughout the day, with sukuna controlling it remotely, even as they both go throughout their separate days.
gojo goes to have his usual breakfast, and meets yuuji at the dining room, they greet and sit next to each other. yuuji is, as always, energetic and excited to see him
they make conversation, until gojo gives a jolt and starts twitching and huffing. sukuna has turned the vibrator up all the way. yuuji worries and panics and asks him what's wrong. gojo gives a breathy laugh and reassures him. he motions low and tells yuuji about the vibrator inside him, through sudden jolts and soft whimpers.
satoru complains about it, and yuuji advices to remove it or go and take care of himself.
except gojo states that he can’t and yuuji puzzles.
"it's... a pact—mmh!"
"a pact???" yuuji's voice rises in volume, but he visibly calms, shoulders dropping into a fond sigh. "sensei, you really are..." that's all he can manage to say. reprimand is useless. gojo likes it, yuuji is well aware, he is enjoying every second of this, even as he complains.
gojo gives a few odd jolts, undoubtedly an odd pattern of intensity from the vibe, yuuji can guess. sudden irregular ups and downs that are not taken well by the man.
satoru clicks his tongue. "what is that guy doing?" he actually looks irritated for a moment—a look yuuji doesn’t get to see often—until it’s broken with a sigh and his pleased, calm demeanor returns, mimicking the soft waves of pleasure across his thighs.
still, yuuji can see his hands crumpled at his sides, undoubtedly wishing to use them.
that's when satoru perks flares up all of a sudden.
"actually, yuuji,” he turns to look at him, grinning. “you can help me" he opens his legs and lifts the edges of his kimono, his dick peeking out the fabric. yuuji gulps at the sight. satoru motions to it, giving yuuji a wordless look. yuuji hesitates for a moment, but complies, taking his hand to the cock, and starts stroking.
satoru crumbles under the touch, immediately breathing out his nose and muffling moans. he leans into yuuji, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, fingers clasped in yuuji's kimono, nuzzling into his hair and whining in his ear.
satoru's sounds fluctuate in pitch and volume, making it known when his vibe's gotten stronger. yuuji keeps his pace and satoru spills in his hand. he twitches and sighs, soft breaths against yuuji's flushed ear.
yuuji stares at the cum in his hand.
"you can wipe it on me,” satoru tells him with a breath that's calmed much too fast. “my clothes are already soiled anyways". and yuuji feels bad for it, but he obeys nonetheless.
satoru takes a hand to yuuji's chin and turns his face to him and gives him a kiss. short and sweet.
"as a reward." he smiles at yuuji. the boy surprises but takes it happily, cheeks warm and eyes softened, albeit a bit timidly. a tinge of disappointment colors the edges of his face.
"you want more?" satoru brings his face to yuuji's again. the vibrations have reached a slight plateau, so his voice is steadier.
yuuji’s face widens a bit, but he nervously chuckles, pulling back from gojo's face. "no, it's alright," he lies. "i don't want sukuna to kill me"
but satoru’s already pulling into him, breathing into his lips. "i won't let him <3"
"that's...actually reassuring......" yuuji’s eyes flutter shut as satoru's lips meet his again.
and with that, they're kissing and slowly the vibrations and gojo’s twitching start again. satoru moves atop yuuji's lap to straddle him, and while they kiss, yuuji takes his hand between them and jerks him off again. satoru moans and gasps into his mouth, each jolt mirroring the pulses against his prostate.
they separate for gojo to bury his face in yuuji's shoulders, arms hugging his neck. he humps into yuuji's hand until he comes against him again.
he pants and huffs atop the boy, catching his breath. yuuji's gentle arms hold him, fingers rubbing slow circles at his back.
satoru's breathing calms against yuuji’s neck.
"yuuji, u're such a good boy."
yuuji's heart and dick swell.
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romantic secrets
ah. so. this is a little ficlet for Sheep's (@natsukishinomiyaswife) fic series Into the Yumeverse! i know i already drew art for it but the idea couldn't leave my head and i didn't think i could execute it as well with art. hope this is okay dhgfjgjjfjg
Lysander would love it if the universe would stop putting him in situations. He has had enough situations for all his days. There must be people out there who felt that their lives were boring and nothing interesting ever happened to them — Lysander would gladly donate some of his situations to their cause!
His current situation was this: he was sitting on the grass in the courtyard with Rook, which wouldn't be out of the ordinary if not for the fact that the universe Lysander currently resided in was some weird version of Twisted Wonderland moved slightly to the left (Twister Wonderland? No. That was awful).
A version with a completely different magicless human girl thrown into the chaos (Lydia, who by all accounts seemed like a sweetheart), without Lysander’s beloved Ramshackle or even more beloved awful cat-beast-son.
Now the first chaos seemed to settle down a bit and so, with a lot of blushing and stumbling around, Lysander had explained to Rook the gist of the relationship the two of them had back in Lysander’s universe.
Rook seemed to react to the information the same way he reacted to every other curiosity that caught his attention; he asked questions and listened intently, and waxed poetically about whatever Lysander had said.
“Ah, what a beautiful tale. I hardly ever imagined somebody would be able to capture my heart,” Rook said. He was looking at Lysander with the same burning curiosity as back when they had first started talking — he was assessing Lysander, almost trying to see through him.
Maybe Rook really couldn’t imagine how he could ever end up with somebody like Lysander. Maybe—
Lysander stopped the thought before he could ever properly formulate it. It was too silly to even entertain, an echo of insecurities that Lysander should’ve been long past. If there was one thing that he had learned from their relationship, it was that Rook never did anything if he didn’t want to. If they were together, that was only because for Rook, it was the most right thing to do.
“I know,” Lysander replied, smiling. Suddenly, he became pointedly aware of the strangeness of their situation. Just this once, it was Lysander who knew so much about Rook, while Rook was still trying to make a judgment call on Lysander.
Lysander’s smile grew bigger. Oh, it seemed like such a silly thing to do — he really shouldn’t be playing tricks on people or mess with their reactions. But… Rook was always teasing him, maybe it was time to finally take revenge.
Maybe the saying was true — when in Rome, you had no other choice but to do as Romans did.
Heart pounding in his ribcage, Lysander raised his head. “You know what else I know?” he asked, and before Rook could reply, he went on: “You named your first arrow Salamander because it was the first animal you’ve caught.”
As stupid as Lysander felt at that moment, he couldn’t deny the sense of satisfaction that curled up in his chest seeing Rook’s eyes widen in surprise
“And,” Lysander continued. “You used to eat poisonous plants as a kid so you would get immune to them. Your biggest scar is on your left hip; you tried to sew the wound by yourself, but it went badly. You used to not be able to fall asleep without a plush lion.”
He watched Rook’s expression slowly turn from surprise to curiosity to delight.
“My! What a curious little flower you are! Maybe I can see how you have managed to ensnare my affections. But, Monsieur Fleur, you should know that it is dangerous to show all your knowledge so freely. You never know how somebody could take it.”
Lysander’s cheeks turned pink. “Who said that’s all my knowledge?” he replied, with more bravado than he expected of himself. “And I trust you, even in a different universe.”
No— Wait— Why did he even say that?! That was… bad. Way too forward. Way too… everything. Regret washed over Lysander immediately.
Overcome with a profound feeling of shame and embarrassment, Lysander hid his face in his hands — he could feel just how hot his cheeks were.
“Non, Monsieur Fleur, don’t curl up your petals now! As foolish as it might be, I am honoured to have your trust.”
Lysander hid his face even more, his hair falling to the sides like curtains. “No! I am not talking about this anymore! One more word and I’m running away!”
He could hear Rook’s laughter. “Ah, then I will just have to chase after you. Shouldn’t you know I don’t give up so easily?”
Ah. Well. Lysander just couldn’t win, could he?
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(Not So) Temporary
“It’s funny,” Chikage said, “how people think you have class.” She ran her fingers through Toichi’s hair as she laid beside him.
Toichi laughed against her chest. “You did,” he said, looking at her through his eyelashes.
“For all of five minutes until we had an actual conversation,” Chikage said. She tugged his hair lightly. Toichi grinned at her, smug as ever. “Your class is as much an illusion as any of your tricks.”
“Harsh. How ever shall my heart recover from such a scathing review.” He pretended to swoon even though he was already lying down.
Sometimes Chikage wondered why she humored him. He was ridiculous. She tugged his hair again, a bit harsher, and he snuggled into it like a friendly dog.
“You like my classlessness.”
“Hm.” For a while there, she’d thought they hadn’t had anything in common, just a vapid surface attraction. A bit of whirlwind romance, a little unwise horizontal tangoing, and then she fully expected him to be out of her system. Unfortunately, he’d charmed her against her better judgment.
“If I asked you to marry me, milady?” Toichi asked, catching her hand just to kiss the back of it. Like he’d done the week before. And the week before that.
He was as persistent as he was dramatic. Chikage should tell him no. Instead, she tugged her hand free. “I’d tell you to ask again another time. Maybe then your luck would be better.”
“Ah, but I will have to charm Lady Luck herself at this rate,” Toichi teased. He gave a kiss to the closest bit of skin, which happened to be her breast.
Chikage unceremoniously shoved him off. Afterglow was over, back to business. “I wish you all the good fortune in trying,” she said as she looked for her underwear.
Toichi watched her shamelessly, a half-smile on his lips. “Shall we head to Prague next? There’s a nice theater there I can perform at.”
“And Prague has nothing to do with a recently bought moonstone pendant,” Chikage said.
“Well, I imagined it might catch your interest.”
“Our interest.” He seemed intent on becoming a thief as well. Sometimes she wondered if he was romancing her just to steal all her skills. Still, if that was the case, he didn’t need to ask for marriage every other week. Sometimes she truly didn’t understand him. “Prague sounds nice.”
Toichi grinned, open and joyful. It made him much more attractive than the suave mystery he kept going for. Honestly, if she were to ever say that, she bet he’d be too embarrassed to show his real emotions to her face again.
Chikage really should cut him off and go back to her life alone.
If only he wasn’t so good in bed.
A warm arm caught her round the middle as she tried to get her bra back on. “If we’re headed in the same direction, we could just share a room…”
“Not today, Romeo. Put your pants on.” His underwear were shoved into his face unrepentantly. Chikage enjoyed his sputtering.
She wasn’t going to say yes to his proposals. Not anytime soon anyway. He was persistent and annoying and flattering and terrible all at the same time. It would be stupid to go for him, especially when he didn’t have much to give in return. He was a magician, famous, yes, but not old money. Not something stable and safe and sane to choose if she ever gave up her life as a thief.
“One more kiss for the road?” Toichi asked, already taking a kiss at the knob of her spine between her shoulder blades.
Chikage elbowed him for the presumptuousness. “I have packing to do,” she said. “And so do you if you’re serious about Prague.” She turned around and flicked him between the eyebrows. He pouted like a child. He probably could have wrapped adults around his fingers as a child. Pick pockets while no one would even suspect the wide-eyed, beautiful child right in front of them. Chikage would know; she used that sort of thing to her advantage before. “Goodnight, Toichi.”
“Goodnight, My Lady,” he said, letting go.
At least he respected when she was serious. She’d have cut him out already by now if he didn’t, good in bed or not. If he was using her to learn her skills, she supposed she could use him right back. A magician’s skillset would go well with what she already had in her arsenal. Chikage knew better than to fall for someone who piled mask upon mask to make themselves bigger and brighter and nicer than they really were, just like she did. She’d just let this play a bit further. Until it stopped being fun. That was surely fine, right?
(She gets pregnant two months later. Chikage had a choice then. She made it. And Phantom Lady had a quiet retirement)
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Yes, I'm dropping part 1 of a silly mini fic series at 11 p.m. No one ask. I really dk why.
"Sonic's Weird Napping Places"
Part 1 - Tails
(since it's canon that Sonic naps in weird places :3)
"Hey, Knuckles, have you seen Sonic?" Tails asked over his communicator.
"Why would I have seen him?" Knuckles' tired and grouchy voice questioned back. Tails cringed a little, wondering if he'd accidentally woken the echidna from a nap with his call. "He doesn't typically visit Angel Island without you and the Tornado. He can't even get up here."
"Just a simple question," Tails grumbled. "I can't find him or get ahold of him. Thanks anyway."
Knuckles hung up without saying goodbye.
Rolling his eyes, the two-tailed fox turned off the screen of his communicator and glanced around. He'd just needed to ask Sonic where something was, something that he'd lent him a week ago or so and hadn't yet gotten back. Sonic had said he'd only need the tool for a day or two, but he was pretty spacey, and had probably just forgotten to bring it back.
Except he couldn't find Sonic anywhere. Sure, it was hard to keep track of him when he was constantly travelling around and running literal laps around the entire planet for fun, but this was what communicators were for, right?!
He guessed Sonic's communicator had either died, or Sonic had shut it down.
Tails couldn't continue working on his current project (among at least 50 others that were temporarily set aside) until he got that tool back, so he resorted to checking places that he knew his brother liked to relax at here and there. On the roof of his lab? Nope. At Amy's house? Nada. On one of the sun chairs at the local pool? No.
And Angel Island was already a no as well, according to Knuckles . . .
He was wandering back and forth in the yard in front of his lab, pondering where else Sonic might be, when he suddenly heard the sound of soft snores coming from within the top leafy branches of one of the nearby trees.
No way.
Tails lifted off into the air and flew over to the spot in the tree where the familiar noises were coming from. Sure enough, slumped on one of the branches and almost entirely hidden behind the mass of leaves was Sonic, sound asleep.
"Sonic!" Tails yelled, not bothering to be quiet, and his brother jolted awake so fast he nearly toppled out of the tree.
Upon regaining his senses and realizing what was going on, Sonic blinked a couple times at Tails. "Wassup?" he asked sleepily, closing his eyes again as he yawned and tried to get comfortable again.
"Have you been up here this whole time?" Tails demanded.
Sonic blinked again. "Define 'this whole time'."
"Uh, the past two hours?!"
His brother gave up trying to regain his previous comfortable position and sat up on the tree branch, glancing around as if trying to figure out what time it was. "Maybe. I didn't check the time before. What do you need?"
"That tool I lent you a week ago. I need it back." Tails shook his head in slight disbelief. "How is that even comfortable?"
"You'd be surprised." Sonic grinned. "Anyway, yeah, sorry for forgetting the tool, lil bro. I'll just go grab it for ya." Without another word he hopped off the branch, hit the ground after a solid second of falling, and took off in a blast.
Another second passed before he reappeared, the tool in hand, just as Tails was touching back down. "Here ya go!"
And then he was off again, no doubt searching for another place to continue his afternoon nap.
Tails shook his head with a grin and a sigh. Sonic was weird. But that wasn't really a bad thing.
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don't want to kill time like it doesn't matter - 3.5k words, (platonic) funkobra hurt/comfort
---
Ghoul is actually younger than Kobra. They always forget it though.
At least, they usually do.
Kobra's stopped shooting upright and reaching for his blaster whenever someone wakes him up at night. Stopped two years ago, honestly, when him and Ghoul started sharing a room. That was a collective decision that is very much not discussed. It left the old office as a perfect room for the Girl, in the end. Between Ghoulie and Girlie, the former of whom has wild, sleepless tendencies and the latter liking to scramble her way into bed with somebody else every other night of the week, Kobra's knee-jerk reaction has become more of a lack of reaction.
"Yo," hisses a pitchy voice. It's dead daylight, the heat of the day. This is the time of the year when you sleep while the sun's up, wait until the darkness falls to do anything or else it's too miserable or too dangerous. "Kobes."
Kobra utters a verbose "Hrrmngg?" and rolls over. He cracks an eye open to see Ghoul standing at the end of his bed. If it hadn't been light out, he'd be doing a good job of living up to his name. His hands are shaking, but when aren't they?
"You good, man?" Kobra asks groggily. He's half awake, half asleep, drifting in between the two states of being. Ghoul is shifting his weight back and forth on his feet. It makes the floor creak. It makes him look even smaller than he is. "Ghoulie?" He mumbles again when he gets no reply.
Ghoul makes a noncommittal half-whispered sound. "Wanna go for a joyride?" He asks instead of an answer.
Kobra blinks himself more fully awake and pushes up on one elbow. "Mirage or the 'Am?"
Ghoulie shrugs. Won't meet his eyes. Oh shit, that's not good. Something's got him worked up. It's too late for this. This is why they share a room now. They didn't used to, but Kobra refuses to let him sleep alone anymore. Kobra knows how he got that wicked scar that runs from the corner of his mouth nearly to his eye.
"Either," Ghoul says. "Doesn't matter much to me."
"Mirage," Kobra decides. He'll never say no to a late-night joyride. Not this kind. Party'll have his neck for sneaking out on the bike without letting anyone know, but the 'Am is too conspicuous when strange crews are out and from the look of him, riding double on the motorcycle will be good for Ghoul.
It's still too hot to be out. But going for a spin won't take too much exertion, getting to someplace with shade, so long as it's away from here, won't take too long. Ghoul's gonna get sunscorched. Maybe that's the point. While Kobra covers up with his jacket, Ghoul is still in the loose, half-covering clothes he sleeps in.
The sun glints painfully off the sand when they climb quietly out the window. No reason trying to get past Party when they've got an exit right here. Ghoul clambers out first with a probably accidental but surprisingly graceful roll and then flinches, violently, when Kobra jacket catches on what's left of the glass in the window and he tumbles haphazardly to the ground. They both hold still for a long dozen seconds, Kobra staring at the diner wall and straining to tell if anyone heard them, and Ghoul staring at Kobra and shaking.
When Party doesn't come along, eyes glinting with annoyed amusement, and yell at them for sneaking out, Kobra sits up and checks the hem of his jacket where it caught on the sharp edge. "Great," he mutters when he sees the tear in the lining. He'll have to sew that back together later. "Ghoul, you good?"
Ghoul shrugs and stands up. "Aren't I always?"
"No."
They stare at each other for a few seconds while Kobra rubs his palms together to clear the sand off them and reaches into his pocket for his gloves. "You're wearing a helmet," he says flatly.
Ghoul rolls his eyes and sneers. It crinkles the scar running up his face. "No way."
"Fine." Kobra doesn't push. Half the time he doesn't even wear his helmet. He's the driver. He'll keep them safe. It was worth a try, though. "Come on."
The heavy bay door of the garage makes too much noise to open without being caught. They slip in the side door and Kobra brings Mirage carefully back through it. He wears a helmet this time. Ghoul stands and waits, bouncing impatiently on the balls of his feet, while Kobra starts the bike and, out of habit, does a couple checks.
"You ready?" Kobra says, with the visor of his helmet flipped up.
Ghoul grins, but it's lacking in heart. So often, Kobra thinks he's not all there. So often, Kobra thinks this is his best friend. "Born that way," he replies.
"Come on then," Kobra says and nods for Ghoul to get on the bike with him. "Hey, hey. Hey, Ghoulie-" he says, when Ghoul is standing right at his shoulder, about to throw a leg over Mirage and climb on. "You okay?" He asks again, because he needs to know how safe any of this is.
Ghoul doesn't respond. Just settles himself behind Kobra and wraps his arms, tight, around Kobra's middle. Kobra stays there a second, until he's sure Ghoul's grip is solid, so that he can feel Ghoul breathing against his back, before he kicks off. He doesn't care if Party and Jet wake up now, they won't catch them. The bike's tires kick up a fountain of sand as he spins a loop, leaning into the turn until Mirage tilts close enough to the ground that Kobra could touch the sand if he reached out. Ghoul asked for a joyride. This is that.
"What the hell, man?!" Ghoul yells over Kobra's shoulder, muffled by the engine noise and his helmet. Kobra feels Ghoul's hands grab at the fabric of his shirt as he pulls around the first turn, bringing them around the back of a sand dune at full speed.
"Trust me?" Kobra shouts back. He's getting into it now, relaxing into each wide, showy swerve and fishtail. He slows down just a bit when he can feel Ghoul's fingernails start to bite into his skin. It makes him edgy when Ghoul is like this.
Ghoul sniffs sharply. "Well, yeah, but I've seen you crash out enough times at the track-"
"Aw, shut up," Kobra snaps back, without venom. Ghoul's his mechanic. He's seen his best wins and worst losses. "Where you wanna go?" He asks, after a few random turns, just drifting around in the sand. Ghoul is quiet. Kobra reaches back with one hand and smacks him on the leg after awhile. "Ghoulie, where we goin'?"
"I'm thinki-" Ghoul cuts himself off and when he speaks again his voice is flat and so quiet Kobra has to strain to hear him. "Turn right up here."
There's the remains of a road cutting across their path and Kobra hops Mirage up onto it, swings right and follows the pavement. Ghoul's grip around his chest has loosened, but Kobra can feel the fast, shallow rhythm of his breathing and the shaking of his hands even still. The road goes on for ages, long enough that it starts to feel infinite. This must have been a highway, back before the wars and BL/ind. At some point, Ghoul leans forward and puts his forehead against the back of Kobra's neck. Kobra can feel him pressed just below where his helmet sits.
"Get off at this turn," Ghoul mumbles suddenly, but not soon enough because Kobra completely overshoots the exit. He flips around the empty lanes of the highway, admittedly showing off mostly just to make himself feel better.
The group of buildings along the former highway off-ramp isn't really a ghost town. It's a cluster of old stores and restaurants, like the diner but mass produced, and down at the end is an ancient truck stop and gas station. Kobra slows the bike to a crawl as they drive down the street, struck with an eerie sense of deja vu. He's been here before. They both have.
He pulls over and stops in the middle of the road, beside what used to be a coffee store. Coffee is usually made in the form of compressed, dried out shots now, called Motor Juice in the Zones when rehydrated. They don't have coffeeshops in the City. They have prescriptions.
Ghoul is off the bike and Kobra's back suddenly cold even under the heat of the sun before Mirage even comes to a full stop. "Ghoul-" Kobra snaps, angry for reasons he can't even say and unsettled in ways he doesn't want to. This is a ghost town. Just not in the normal way. "Ghoul. What are you-"
But Ghoul is walking away, his back to Kobra and the bike as he moves toward the gas station as if it's a magnet and he's the blade of a knife, trembling so hard with the pull that it might break. Kobra hesitates, then swings his leg over Mirage and bumps out the kickstand. Ghoul is standing stock still, or as still as he can, on the faded pavement of the gas station parking lot. Kobra's glad it's faded. He doesn't want to see the bloodstains.
Ghoul looks small as he approaches, absolutely miniscule. He's got his arms wrapped tight around himself and Kobra can hear the harshness of his breathing even from several strides away. He doesn't want to get too close too fast. Ghoul's enough like a wild animal that it could turn out badly, and Kobra for once really doesn't want to fight him today. Not out here, at least.
They're within two years of each other, Kobra and Ghoul. They usually forget they're not the same age. But right now Ghoul looks so small and so, so young and Kobra doesn't know what to do.
"Gh- Ghoul. Ghoulie." Kobra calls carefully, stumbling over his tongue. He clamps his teeth together, takes a deep breath. "Ghoul."
Ghoul doesn't turn, doesn't look away from the door into the gas station he'd been found in, back when Kobra and Poison and Jet were a crew of three and Ghoul'd been even more feral than he is now. The gas station where Ghoul watched his entire family die and he was helpless to do anything about it. He still thinks he hadn't done enough. Kobra knows that. Ghoul always thinks he didn't do enough. That one kid with a blaster and wild eyes could take down a full squad of Dracs and two Crows.
Kobra doesn't know how to tell him that if he'd tried, he would be dead too. Kobra doesn't know how to tell him he's glad he didn't. When it comes down to it most, Kobra finds he can't speak.
"Ghoulie," he says again. "Hey. Hey." He moves closer, pulls off the helmet he'd almost forgotten he still has on. "Ghoul," he tries, one more time, as gently as he knows how even though it's not that gentle. He's never been good at this. Some of the scars scattered across Ghoul's body are from him. But Kobra had stitched up Ghoul's face and he's not going to give up now.
Ghoul finally turns and Kobra breathes a sigh of relief. Just a response. Proof of life even though he's still standing. And then Ghoul steps toward him and suddenly he's right there, shaking but otherwise just as eerily still as this entire place, like he's trapped in frozen time just like the rest of it, and he collides with Kobra's chest in a way that's both surprising and yet entirely expected.
"Oh." Kobra drops his helmet, dangling from one hand, and his arms hover uncertainly in the air for a moment before he carefully closes them around Ghoul. "Oh. Okay. Okay." He says quietly, startled, but not really. He'd felt the way Ghoul was holding onto him as they rode Mirage all the way out here.
Ghoul unfolds his arms from around himself and grabs onto the unzipped sides of Kobra's jacket. He doesn't cry, not out loud at least. He's just shaking, so much, and so, so small. Kobra's not good with words. He's even worse with them under pressure. Anything Jet or Party could say to make it better, that kind of stuff gets stuck on his tongue when Kobra tries to say it. So he doesn't. He just holds on.
"You plan on coming here?" Kobra asks eventually, even though he has a feeling the answer is no. Unless it's an engine or a bomb, Ghoul never really plans on much. Ghoul shakes his head, hair scrubbing against Kobra's shoulder and neck where his head's pressed. "You wanna... y'wanna go inside?" He asks then, against his better judgment. But then again, he's never been known for that, has he.
Ghoul tenses, but it momentarily stops the shaking. "Can we?"
Kobra huffs. "Nobody stoppin' us, and even if there were, we'd do it anyway, wouldn't we?"
Ghoul pries his fingers from their hold on Kobra's jacket and turns back toward the station. "Should we?"
"Dunno." Part of him thinks it might help. Part of him remembers exactly what happened the last time they were here. It's the Killjoy way to call death ghosting. It means some part of you lives on even when you're gone. There's a lot of ghosts in this pavement. "It's your-"
He can't think of what word goes there. Choice. Past. Grief. Place. So he stops talking. He shrugs, bends to pick up his helmet. "I can." He sucks a breath through his teeth. He's going to say it again. "I can... I can go with you. If you," he shrugs one shoulder again. "If you, uh, want to. I'm not- I'm not trying to force you," he adds, like it needs to be said. "It's your... yours."
Because that's all that really can be said. This place, the place that made Fun Ghoul what he is. The journey, however brief, that brought them here. Even, kinda, Kobra himself. It's all for Ghoul, here and now. Kobra drove, but he's just along for the ride. Weird how that happens.
Ghoul steps toward the station. Magnetism, again. And Kobra follows, because how could he not. He feels sick at the though of letting his friend go in that place alone.
The doors are gone. Shot out years ago. It looks to Kobra exactly as it did back then, but Ghoul probably remembers better. There are shelves toppled and glass and plastic broken all over the floor. Whatever hasn't been scavenged is broken and shattered. Ghoul walks toward the back of the store, the corner that's not so much a mess. Kobra stays back a bit, trying to give his friend space.
It's where they found Ghoul. Or, where Pois had found him. Ghoul was half in shock, terrified and scarred and fighting, and Party was the first one of their then three-strong group to notice the dark shape watching them hopelessly trawl the carnage for any survivors. It took Pois physically restraining the much smaller kid to keep Ghoul from going for all of their throats.
Kobra has a lot of bad memories of Ghoul. None are as bad as remembering the way he'd screamed when they first met.
"Y'okay?" Kobra asks after a while.
Ghoul has his moments. They all do. Sometimes, you wake up bad in the night and it's hard to pick yourself up. Sometimes you just gotta hit the bottom before you even can. But Ghoul's a fighter. "Yeah," he says, walking back and forth between fallen shelves once stocked with food and stupid trinkets. He crouches to pick up the shattered remnants of something once made of colorful glass and when he looks back over his shoulder at Kobra, he doesn't seem quite as small.
"'M sorry," Kobra mumbles, not knowing what to say now. Somehow, the shaking and the touch are so much easier than having to talk about it. He's never been the talker. That's Party. And he knows his brother regrets not getting there — here — sooner that day, but there's a sick, selfish part of Kobra that's too glad to have Ghoul to want anything different. But really, it's all he can say. If there's remnants of bones that haven't been carried away by carrion-eaters, he doesn't want to see it.
Ghoul slowly stands up from his spot on the floor, staring intently at the broken knick-knack in his palm. It might have been a glass teddy bear, once, something a parent might grab up for a child waiting at home. It's partially shattered, though. Half of its cartoonish smiling face is gone. The heart shape it once held in its paws is cracked down the middle. Kobra isn't great with metaphors, but this is pretty fucking obvious.
"I didn't save them," Ghoul says quietly, his voice grating through the charged, silent air. "I didn't save her."
Something clicks into place. They all know that the crew he lost was Ghoul's real actual biological family. He's a sandpup. He was born and raised in the Zones. He doesn't talk about it much. Kobra's shocked he even came back here, let alone with anyone else. Ghoul doesn't talk about his family, but they've all figured for a while that he had a sibling. You can see it in how he treats the Girl.
"Your sister," Kobra says. It doesn't sound like so much of a question when he says it out loud, but he knows Ghoul will understand it as one.
Ghoul nods. "Yeah." He steps over some toppled displays, sun-bleached ads that used to be bright colored, and slips the shiny piece of broken glass into one of Kobra's pockets since he doesn't have any of his own. Kobra can already see the sunburn forming on his friend's shoulders and the tops of his knees. "She was like, eight."
That's all the more he says about it, but Kobra slips his hand into the pocket and runs his fingers over the broken glass toy still warm from Ghoul's hands, and hears the years of grief and bitterness in the few words. Ghoul's more talky than he is, but he's cagey, too. Kobra can hear him, though. He gets it. Doesn't mean he knows what to say, though.
"Shit," he spits. He wants to say I'm sorry again, but that feels fuckin cheap. He wants to say stop beating yourself up about it, but that sounds even stupider. "Fuck." Sometimes that's all he can say.
"Yeah," Ghoul replies. "Fuckin shit."
"Exactly," Kobra agrees, fiercely relieved that Ghoul gets all the shit he's trying to say. "Hey, uh. Y'know I'm-" He stumbles over the words, cringes at himself for the inability to get past a stupid two-letter word. "I'm glad I know you." He manages, as selfish as it sounds standing here in the ghosted wreckage where Ghoul's family was killed. But if that hadn't happened, they wouldn't be here now. They wouldn't be friends. And Kobra needs Ghoul to know he's glad that any suicide run to save his family failed. The pain sucks, but he's grateful for the outcome. He hopes Ghoul can understand that.
Ghoul doesn't reply. His acid green eyes bore straight into Kobra's for a few seconds while Kobra's heart hammers in his chest. Then he kicks at some dust and looks at the floor and shrugs. "Let's go, man. I don't wanna stay here."
"M'kay."
Kobra's almost tempted to reach out as they walk back out into the glaring sun, grab onto Ghoul like he's a ghost, too, and the light might evaporate him. But he doesn't. He can't.
He thinks the feeling of Ghoul hanging onto him as he steers Mirage away, back up the ramp to the road they came down in the first place, will make him feel better. It doesn't. Ghoul holds on much looser than he had on the way here, and it makes Kobra nervous. He wonders if he should have made him wear a helmet, and steers more carefully around the turns.
And then Ghoul adjusts his seat and throws one arm up over Kobra's shoulder, loosely hooking around his neck. He leans up forward and shouts, "C'mon, Kobes, let's play with it!" Like he's itching for the risk that a couple hours ago had had him holding on for dear life. Kobra's used to thinking his best friend isn't all there. But he's also familiar with the times he is. Sometimes, he forgets they're not the same age because Ghoul is so larger than life.
He tips his head to the side in acknowledgement, and punches the throttle. He even pulls a couple of tight, quick loops. He can't slide on the pavement the way he would on sand, but he can catch a little air when there's a thermal bump in the highway. Ghoul clutches onto him, but it's not scared. Something's cleared up in the gas station. Maybe it was closure. Hell if Kobra knows.
When they pull Mirage off the highway and the diner finally comes back into view, just a small glint of signage, Kobra slows his pace and can feel Ghoul sigh more than he can hear it. His friend's arms stay firmly around him. "Hey, Kobes?" Ghoul says, just barely loud enough to be heard over the engine.
"Yeah?" Kobra says, a bit louder to be heard past his helmet.
Ghoul hesitates, then says in a rush, "I'm glad I know you too. Like, really glad." And then he squeezes Kobra a little tighter for just a second and Kobra can't even say anything in reply. It's been a long night at the wrong time of day. And they're almost home.
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