haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i did end up coming extremely close to passing out after doing the starting stretches and maybe,,, 6 ? moves in the air :( so i had to go sit down n then i threw up whihc was very embarrassing but i dont think anyone noticed since it was around the corner in the garbage. im sad i had to miss out on another day tho ,,,,,,,, also,,, i feel like such a failure. i only got like 4 classes in before my ab injury n now this o(-< the instructor told me twice it's good i know my limits n to follow them and that she's proud of me for coming back but aaa,,,
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thinking abt that one post with the vid of the dudes going goofy crazy in their house racing each other to do menial dumb shit with the caption being like. "sonic and shadow when they live together" or whatever. something very blatantly sonadow. and like all 90k of the notes just ignored it LOLLLL
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"Marry me."
"James you're far too old for me."
"We're the same age. Don't you dare lie to me"
"I'm married, and somehow I love him too. You're asking for far too much James."
"I can wait 6 years, he's gonna have to die then anyways,"
"James I'm not going to fall back in love because you shower me with gifts and information make grand romantic gestures to take me across the galaxy so we can live forever middle aged, I'm gonna save the last few years I have with my husband then spend the rest of my life time begging for forgiveness to my son, do you understand me James? I'm a guilty old man who's grief would kill him if he went with you."
"You're no old man, you're younger then me. 49 is far from old."
"63 isn't far."
"Oh don't call me old."
"I'm not calling you old I'm saying you had a chance to live a life despite flying yourself into space and living in a false grandeur of immortality. You achieved your dream, I left behind the only people that I could ever love and they love me back out of drunken self pity and when I came back I knew no one. I threw away my life and now my own son has more lines on his face given to him as gifts from time when I should be dying next to the love of my life. I have a life I want to live, grow old, and die in. I have no want to live so long we become ancient legends."
"Im giving you the chance to grow old and die with me. I'll be the new love of your life. We can make a life from the one I crave and the one you lost."
"You were my old love of my life, and my heart is too ill to do anything but grieve."
"Then let me give you time to heal, leave behind everyone and everything and rid your heart of all that worry."
"How is that an attractive offer to you, how are you looking me in the eyes and telling me the thing I punished myself for years on end is something I should yearn for and show it to me as a relief?"
"It's lonely being alone forever. Do it for me, Ari, Do it for your friend."
"It'll be lonely even if you take a hundred people."
"I can wait 2 decades for you."
"I hope I'm dead by then."
"I hope we never die."
"I'm sorry for your loss already."
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Every time I watch a Steve Martin movie, no matter how corny or bad it is, I find myself crying either from happiness or sadness wtf
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