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#theyre most likely never coming back but ive gotten attached
quackstar · 8 months
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Thinkin about the clones alot recently.
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fbj723 · 8 months
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honestly been going back and forth w myself on a lot of things lately attaching a read more for the sake of ik i'll be rambling like theres no tmr
a part of me wants to drop pnc but i havent really gotten everyone i wanted yet + im broke so i need to build my stash up *looks at clotho and eos* oddly enough pnc has been a game ive been pretty happy on playing still hate how i missed a login day tho tbf ive rarely borderline never interacted w the fandom so me just being in the dark w what goes on there has kinda been a blessing and a curse in a sense that i can enjoy the game in peace but it feels like im alone doing so
pgr im really REALLY tempted on dropping my glb acc, once nocti comes around which will prob be around the end of the school yr for me thats where i'd be like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ welp ig im done and drop that acc after playing around w nocti and whatev. tw im still not too sure abt?? prob when i get around to lvling up my main teams i can be like ok im done and drop that at any time since im just there to experience content ahead of time without being in cn directly
before dropping pgr entirely i do wanna complete a few stuff i had in mind tho
countdown for hyperreal which will prob happen bambi patch
still need to finish that nocti countdown for tw ive barely had any motivation completing that
nocti's bday countdown (similar to how lee's went)
glb nocti's countdown
draw every char up to latest one in cn
a few noctiskk comics thats been in the back of my head for MONTHS now
basically LOTS of countdowns and nocti stuff before i drop everything entirely
will i still draw pgr stuff after all that? mayyybeee???? itll moreso be towards kye's lore building rather than it being a standalone thing. i'll still collect merch and build up my shrines and make cosplay for chars but aside from that i'm pretty much gonna be moving on to other things
ive always had 50/50 feelings w being in the pgr fandom, tho being introduced to it on disc and then going to twt may have affected my views on this whole thing. esp when the side of the fandom i was first introduced to is like the lowest of the low, i dont want to go back to a place where a bunch of dudebro incels made fun of me for being afab and liking lee and me thinking that was a norm when it clearly isnt. its been 2 goddamn yrs and theyre still poking fun at that?? like my god grow up im so sick and tired of it.
if by a slim chance i still want to participate in being in the pgr fandom i'll just go back to lurking like ive always done in prev fandoms, if i really wanna be active in talking abt the game i'll talk abt it in servers or dms, but publicly i felt that i could never really comfortably talk abt how i feel abt it aside from here cause this site >>>>>> bc i felt like my opinions arent valid, tho that really applies to anything i do so 💀💀
pgr has been a really nice game for me to destress and detach myself from reality for a bit, tho now i wanna move on to other games and focus more on my ocs like i did back in the day. once i properly set up everyone's lore doc maybe in the future i'll make a game around them, nothing too big since i'll pretty much be making most of it, but i kinda wanna fulfill my childhood dream that was just recently unlocked
theres also that small part of me that wants to be known for my oc stuff rather than pgr stuff, but bc im not tagging w popular art tags im kinda just existing, and thats fine by me. hitting 500+ follows on twt was like peak realization of me going like "oh shit, 😨 maybe this big of a following aint for me" and it truly isnt lol
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c-vomitoria · 10 months
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tribute to the pigeon squad
gonna start using this blog to post various (mis)adventures i go on and what better way to start than with my best friends in all the world
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besties <333
ive been around this flock for about 1 and a half years and ive gotten to know a few stand-out individuals so heres the ones ive named over that time !!! most of them are gone, either migrated away or dead i'm not sure, if they're still around i'll mention it specifically
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this little guy's the first pigeon i ever thought to ascribe a name to after i saw them a few separate times at the subway station before work, their name is big boss
they were missing an eye and always hung around the back of the group not really stepping in with the others, i always tossed them some extra scraps of my breakfast away from the main group bc otherwise they'd never get their share. kept seeing them around for about 2 weeks or so at the station before they stopped showing up, i didn't name any others until i started going to the "main" feeding spot for the local flock a few months later.
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this right here is acci! short for accipiter bc theyre a vicious beast, very much unlike big boss they never hesitated to jump into the crowd and slap other pigeons around with their wings for the best feeding spots or just for the hell of it. shown here consuming the flesh of a distant cousin (they *really* liked chicken whenever i brought any)
as much of a menace as acci was to the rest of the flock they were also the first one to get all attached to me and always sat on my arm whenever i came over with snacks, it was like their special perch and they always wanted to be hand fed
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laelaps here didnt come around very often but always had a commanding presence, they usually hung back and just watched but never got bullied by anyone and would throw their weight around without much opposition if they did decide to step in. never got close to me but never gave the impression of being scared either, very respectable birb.
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cheetodust (on the right) or just cheeto for short! every bit as scrunkly and scraggly in behaviour as they look. i'm not sure what was up with their cere for it to get all orange and crusty but the last couple times i saw them it seemed to be shedding with a more normal whitish cere underneath. this guy shat on my hands more than anyone else. no fear, no fucks given. not particularly aggressive or respected but very good at opportunistically darting around.
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prima, queen of vermin. one my absolute favourites and one of the prettiest birds to ever live i will die on this hill no purebred show pigeon could EVER compete with this most regal of street urchins. i saw them around for a good while and they've always been pretty aloof, eventually they saw fit to sit on my shoes but for the most part they hung around in the back of the flock watching everything play out.
i was heartbroken when i'd counted a full month without seeing them but the other day i saw a pigeon with almost the same exact feather patterns on the head & upper torso mixed in with a standard wild morph on the rest of the body and i like to believe it's one of prima's offspring after they flew off somewhere else to find a mate. this bird is divinely protected and no harm can be allowed to reach them
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if anyone can genuinely be called the big boss of the flock it's probably stalin here. theyve been around longer than almost anyone else, theyre still here, always patrolling up and down the street looking for the best bits of scraps and more pigeons to push around. if they want something they fight for it *hard*, and while other pigeons usually stop at hisses or wing slaps i've seen this particular old theropod bite their flock-mates on the neck over some grain. it never takes long for other pigeons to back down but they keep pressing afterwards just to drive it in.
just like with acci they also like to hang around me a lot, i guess it makes sense the tough brawler types aren't so scared of humans. they never really did it to get special food access though, they'd just sit there and preen or look around.
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haku mainly stands out for being a real looker, with those big flashes of iridescence bordering their white chest. they're fairly run-of-the-mill socially, maybe even unusually so somehow. never causing any trouble or running into anyone, never getting into fights, never being pushed around either. just foraging where there's plenty of grain on the ground, staying out of people's way, resting in between snacks. a decent life all in all, and they seem happy about it.
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i gave kohaku their name around the same time as haku bc there's some similarities in their appearance, the smaller white patches under the throat + some iridescent bits that don't really show up in this picture. turns out they'd been around for a hell of a lot longer than i thought - this particular picture was taken even before the big boss one, and there'd been several months between my last sighting of big boss and my first sighting of haku. that would make kohaku one of the very first of my named pigeons that i'd ever encountered, and i just didn't realise this picture *was* kohaku until very recently. and they're still around! i love them so much.
kohaku's always been one to approach me head-on and want to be hand-fed, and they do have a bit of the attitude that tends to go with that but not as much as the others. a little bit pushy maybe, but not as dirty and scrappy as cheeto or just plain brutish as acci or stalin. they don't fight very much they just take up space and don't budge. but they're almost always the first to get there.
next we have the uruk-hai trio:
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ugluk,
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mauhur,
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and lugdush. the latter's the only one of these i still see nowadays, and theyre living a pretty comfortable existence with the present cast at the flocking spots. getting well-fed, staying healthy, not really stepping on any toes - which is more or less how i remember ugluk and mauhur too. bit of a far cry from their namesakes, but it is what it is
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and here's kuru (in the foreground)! they're a bit of a feisty one, in the first few weeks i'd known them they kinda blended in with haku & the uruks as just a mellow, well-behaved little pigeon but when i see them now they'll sometimes just stand up, puff out their chest, and chase some poor other pigeon around while hissing loudly for no apparent reason. they'll drag it out pretty long too. it's funny bc i don't actually see them fighting over food much, they usually do this well after the food's run out and everyone's just kinda strutting about in the open. i guess that pecking order isn't going to establish itself.
and now we have the newest set - these are all ones i first met after a fairly long hiatus from pigeon-watching. i haven't known them very long yet, but theyre starting to warm up to me and im hoping i can get to know them better soon :}
they are:
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halszka,
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shri (centred, brown plumage)
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oksoko,
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shuvuuia (foreground), & barsbold (middle)
something i find really special about these ones is how their feather patterns & colours have this sort of "wild" naturalistic look to them, like what you'd expect to see living in the forests or on the plains. not quite as striking as prima, ugluk, or haku but very nice to look at nonetheless.
anyway! i may post more about these pigeons in the future and maybe more if i decided i can recognise any others! this can be just a neat introduction to all the lil dinosaur friends ive known in the time ive been around here i like them all very much and i hope anyone reading this will like them too
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actualbird · 3 years
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I like your analysis(es?) so much hh, and apparently my brainworm of the day is the NXX crew getting a flowering cactus called Karla, for some reason. It’s a therapy cactus XD. No other thoughts. - Book
thank you, Book!!! and also wait no get back here and tell me more
KARLA!!! KARLA!!! oh i love her already but please understand that i have so many questions and all those questions have accompanying THOUGHTS oh gosh okay let me just hm wordbarf both those things very messily, you know how i do things
what kind of flowering cactus?
there are so many, afterall.
given that vyn is into botany and gardening, i assume he would have a lot of opinions on this.
actually, ive met a lot of botany hobbyists in my life, and the snobbier ones among them actually HATE cacti (and succulents). theyd say stuff like "oh cacti are the in thing with the millenials these days, theyre the plant people get when they dont know anything about plants."
WOULD VYN BE LIKE THAT, LMAO????? he seems like the type to at least THINK IT.
but also deep down i assume vyn is like "a plant is a plant is a plant" bc among the sweeter botany hobbyists ive met, theyve got this notion that "as long as you help it grow strong through the challenges, u did a good job" WHICH....MAKES ME THINK....VYN THINGS....vyn is not going to admit it, he will never admit it, but hm. what a strange plant. shaped to protect itself yet in need of care all the same.....
ANYWAY if anybody is getting a premeditated-bought cactus for the HXX HQ, you bet that vyn will, one way or another, have some kind of say in what the cactus will be. if it isnt premeditated-bought, he'll definitely have many things to say about the cactus' future care
or does the cactus just kind of appear there? is it brought into the NXX HQ in the dead of the night like jesus in the manger? if that's the case, who brought it?
i think it would be artem. or, well, i think it would be FUNNIEST/PATHETIC-EST if it was artem.
let's just say that a non-NXX and non-MC person decides eyyy, artem, got u a gift, it's a cactus! haha, get it! bc ur a prickly unapproachable dude! and artem is like ".........." BUT LIKE IT'S RUDE NOT TO ACCEPT A GIFT EVEN WITH THE BACKHANDED CRITICISM OF HIS GENERAL STATE OF BEING
so he takes the cactus and like leaves it at NXX HQ because if he brings it to his apartment hes going to get vaguely annoyed by the cactus and what it supposedly represents and he'd want to set it on fire
(sidenote: cacti do not burn well, by the way, ive set some on fire for cacti funerals and sigh, you have to put gasoline on them for a good burn)
anyway he brings the cactus there, leaves it vaguely hoping that the air conditioning will like, kill it (cacti live in the desert, right? so cold...bad?) and then somebody else will go "where the fuck did this dead cactus come from, can we throw it away" and then artem can throw it away (ALONG WITH THE REST OF HIS EMOTIONS. artem...GET HELP....)
but that doesnt happen because get fucked, artem wing
who names it Karla?
naming a plant most often comes from somebody who has gotten VERY ATTACHED TO THAT PLANT. i first thought hmmm maybe it's luke, but then i remembered that luke has this HILARIOUS tendency of making comments about eating MANY ORGANISMS HE COMES ACROSS (ssr shape of you, he threatens to cook and eat goose, chara story ep 1, hes very happy at eating the cooked crabs for their crab crimes, sr aquarium date forgot the name, hes like let's eat seafood SURROUNDED BY HAPPY ALIVE FISH, luke....what the fuck?) so maybe it's not luke and that leaves...
marius von hagen getting attached to a cactus and naming it is SO FUNNY TO ME but also makes me soft. hes the first one who sees the cactus in HQ and is like "who the fuck left this here?" //big data lab googling what it is. "well good thing it's fine with cold temps wouldve died if not, you cant just leave a thing in a place...with no warning....with no help...thats tough....huh, thats tough, isnt it, cactus?"
am i saying that marius von hagen gets attached to the cactus because it vaguely reminds him of his own life story of being pushed into very stressful circumstances and essentially left to fend for himself? yeah. yeah. because im deranged
"the cactus' name is karla," marius says at the next meeting, spraying the cactus with a mist bottle. "be nice to her or else im biting you."
who declares it a "therapy cactus"? aka who realizes that literally EVERYBODY else on the team is, one way or another, projecting themselves and/or their desires onto the PLANT???
luke. luke does. luke has the habit of dissociating and spiraling at any given moment when he encounters anything even ADJACENTLY related to what hes going through (again, sr aquarium date, luke u were just looking at the jellyfish, WHY R U GETTING DEPRESSED PHILOSOPHICAL OVER LIFESPANS???? SIR, GET HELP.....), so like lol he can clock that shit in from a mile away because hes the worst offender of that too
he doesnt bring it up of course. i mean, im sure he thinks about it because it's just the right kind of shithead move to pull just in case the others try to push him around again but mc gets mad at him when he goes agent scary at the rest of the boys so okaaayyyy he'll retaliate against getting dunked on in a more...civil way. so he doesnt bring it up. he also doesnt bring it up because...
well, if it makes them happy, then it makes him happy. thats all that matters to him
"keep making them all happy, yeah?" luke absentmindedly says to the cactus one day. "i heard you guys can live for a hundred years."
the cactus, of course, does not reply.
mc gets very into taking care of karla. pls expect many conversations where the boys are talking about the "cactus" (theyre talking about themselves) and mc is just like "okay im 90% sure this is a metaphor, you guys aint slick, but i like this cactus very much and thats true whether it's a metaphor or not."
all the boys: //PLEADING EMOJI WITH HEARTS
thanks for making me go insane over a cactus, Book. it's 8am here.
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might-guys-acorn · 4 years
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Do you do hc's? If you do, could you do Akatsuki relationship hc's please?
Ive never done hc's before, but Im gonna do my best :) hope they turn out okay! -🦎
P.S. this post will be super long, so my apologies in advance folks❤
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Pain
Super quiet baby.
Shows his affection through actions, not words
Has difficulties showing his emotions, but genuinely tries his best.
Isnt sure how to be in a relationship, so is very awkward. Stutters a lot when talking to or about you: "Uh.... Y/N.....I think you look, uh, s-stunning today."
Blushes all the time.
You love it
So you do literally anything in your power to cause it. Brushing his hair out of his face, complimenting him in front of others, kissing him on the cheek randomly, etc.
Loves kissing in the rain. It overwhelms his senses, from the feel of the drops on his skin, to the smell of your hair, to the light shiver he can feel run down your spine after a while. He loves every second.
Will do anything for you. Legitimately ready to end the world for the one that he loves
Konan
Super sentimental type
Talks about her past a lot, and wants to hear all about yours.
Emotional connection is an absolute must, looks are always second in her book
Want you to get along with her friends, specifically Pain. You two are the most important people in her life, so its essential that you get along.
Thinks its precious that youre interested in her hobbies. Plenty of nights will be spent trying to help you learn origami, but at the end of the day, theres just a bunch of lopsided cranes and crumple flowers around the two of you asleep on the carpet.
I dont think shed be much of a cook, so meals are a must for you. She'll always compliment you on it though : "Y/N, this breakfast looks lovely. How'd I end up with a catch like you?"
She does make a mean cup of tea though
Likes to leave little notes or origami figures around for you to find when shes away :)
Deidara
Super obnoxious ngl
Likes to show you off to everybody. Like. Everyone. Other members, enemies, people on the street. You name it.
"LOOK AT MY S/O! ARENT THEY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BEING YOUVE EVER SEEN? THEY ARE ART ITSELF, I ALMOST WANT TO BLOW THEM UP, THEYRE THAT GORGEOUS."
Theres never a quiet moment with him
Especially right before bed, when he starts to babble nonsense because hes tired. You never knew a person could have so many thoughts until he never let one pass without it leaving his mouth
His babbling is pretty endearing though, because he is forever thinking about how amazing you are
But the only way to shut him up is to kiss him
Luckily, hes an incredibly good kisser
Will forever refer to you as his muse. And model many an artwork after you. Its very sweet until he makes them explode to show off the 'true beauty'
Sasori
Very detached at the beginning
Doesnt like having ties to this world
But he soon realizes there's no way to get rid of you, and he doesnt particularly want to either.
After that realization, he spends as much time with you as possible
Expect lots of cuddles, quiet nights, and endless hours of talking. About his past, his parents, his puppets. He wants you to know it all, because he feels like with all of it, he has to be unlovable
Is very shocked when you stick around and accept him, becomes very attached to you afterwards.
Doesnt do dates often, but on the occasional one, hes incredibly punctual and expects you to be
Hes very insecure about his "heart". He absolutely melts if you take time to let him know that its wonderful, just like him
Overall, hes just very relieved to have you in his life
Itachi
Truly surprised to be in a relationship at all
This isnt part of his mission
100% soft boi™️
Loves to hold your hand, kiss your knuckles, gaze into your eyes, all of it. Anything he has to do to remind himself that youre real, and that you love him.
Becomes a literal puddle when he realizes youre trying to name and differentiate all of his crows
Lets you feed them regularly and marvels at how sweet they are to you
Doesnt understand how someone so pure could be with someone like him, but wont complain simply because he hates the thought of losing this light he's found in his life.
Spends all his time making sure youre happy. Taking care of you when your sick, reading to you on long nights, cuddling you when you get sad. He just wants you to feel better
Doesnt give gifts often, so when you find your favorite one of his crows (Midnight, youd named it) sitting on the table with a red bow around his neck, you cry for hours.
He gets confused and thinks hes done something wrong, but you just kiss him and tell him that its perfect.
Kisame
Doesnt realize hes fallen for you until he sees you wading in a river late at night, singing softly to yourself
Really likes holding your hand
Has some jealousy problems, but not because he doesn't trust you. He just doesn't trust everyone else.
Lots of beach dates
Thinks it's adorable how he has to convince you to get out of the water when its gotten dark and cold
Prefers you don't give him nicknames, just really likes the way his name sounds when it comes out of your mouth
Loves that youre not scared of Samehada, and thinks its precious when you talk to it like its a pet and not a sword
Is even more smitten when Samehada coos back at you, its loyalty to you both means the world to him
Hidan
Insists on your belief in Jashin
Wants you to believe and become immortal with him
The eternal Bonnie and Clyde
Also the kinkiest of the bunch
Has zero issue talking about bedroom business in front of anybody
Likes how you blush when he brings it up in front of large groups of people
"Aw look at how red your cheeks get, thats so cute"
Does things to get on your nerves, because he loves watching you react. Seeing how flustered he can make you is a frequent game he'll play, cuz your anger is just as cute as your smile
Likes to casually hand you his scythe even though its too heavy for you to handle
Watching you try to hold it up makes him laugh, and you yelling at him for laughing only makes it worse honestly
Will try to get you to go on missions with him, simply because you two work together better than anyone else. No one knows him like you do, so sacrifices are always more fruitful with your presence.
Kakuzu
The most distant of the organization
Will be very difficult to connect with
But when he realizes that you seem to know the bingo book better than he does, will insist that you work on his team
From there, he'll see your personality and be thankful for all the hearts he has, because there can be an extra to give to you.
Your smile makes his day, and seeing the way you squeal when the pay comes in for a takedown melts every heart he's got
Thankful that youre just as much of a tightwad as he is, it means you make a very cheap date
Appreciates your intellect, and is happy to have a partner that is as smart as they are attractive, unlike his past partner Hidan.
Silences are an essential part of the relationship, but niether of you mind. Your presence is all he needs to feel at ease, rather than filling the air with meaningless small talk
Tobi
Never fails to laugh at your jokes
Enjoys making you laugh, even if it means making himself look like an idiot
Definition of silly romantic
Will spend lots of time telling you that youre special to him, even if its in a way that doesnt make sense
"I dont need gravity when Im with you, Im always on cloud 9"
Likes to mess with you when you try to touch him by tranferring his body to other dimensions
"Youll have to try harder if you really want to hold my hand, Y/N"
When he does get serious, though, he'll pull you to his other dimension to talk. Its quieter and theres no risk of interruptions
Likes to hug you from behind, and always has a dumb joke on hand if he ever sees you crying
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mxxnlightviolet · 4 years
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for the quarantine asks!! :^) 1, 4, 5, 11, 28, 29, 37, 42, 44, 46
Hi Vali <3 <3 thank you!!
1)  Animated character that was your gay awakening?
if we’re talking character we attached to as a kid for some unknown reason it was definitely shego but if we’re talking “oh...oh no” as a slightly older kid it was probably?? helga from atlantis? because i first saw that in early high school. i’m SURE there were more but my memory is terrible
4) Your go-to bar order, if you drink?
rum & coke or anything peachy!! frozen strawberry marg if im somewhere w those
5) What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own?
every single year since high school ive gotten a pair of knee high lace up combat boots and theyre my go to shoes except in the summer every pair i’ve had has been so comfy
11) Preferred way to spend a rainy day?
by an open window so i can smell the rain, writing with a hot tea or coffee! or painting! 
28) What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now?
i’m ~essential~ so i’m still working my regular 40 hour weeks and i never really did much before all this so i really don’t have any more downtime than before, but i’ve been super creative lately! I’ve read, written, and painted more in the last three weeks than I have in months, and I’m also trying to learn how to edit videos~
29) Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat?
I’m not sure if i have a specific artist for that, it’s more about which songs im currently playing on repeat until i drain the life out of them
37)  Lakes, rivers, or oceans?
all of them!! oceans the most because i love mermaids and the moon and the waves and the salt, but like, all of them!! i just love bodies of water
42) A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving
this one is hard but probably ego - gia woods? I didn’t think I’d like it because I wasn’t a fan of only a girl (which obviously I listened to back when it came out because Gay). I clicked on it because of the thumbnail had her crawling around in a pool of shallow water with plants in it and like...im a simple gay. i see mud and plants and women and i click. 
also: meg myers - go, because the beginning threw me off a little at first and then numb and jealous sea, because when I like an artist I have trouble listening to their new stuff when it comes out because I’m so set in their stuff I already know oops
44) Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online?
either explanation or no caption because I feel like any quotes I pick will be embarassing heh
46)  What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store?
jimmy dean stuffed hash browns. oh my god. you just reminded me i have some. oh my god. thank you
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kendrixtermina · 5 years
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Someone finally uploaded a Kingdom Route run with everyone recruited!
So imma be doing a bit of reacting
Kingdom!Ignatz works a bit like Empire!Felix  - He wanted to go his own way unlike what his parents said and is thus following Byleth. In this case it’s of course somewhat less angsty ‘cause the Victors have the means to flee if necessary, unlike Rodrigue who was a prominent leader of the kingdom side of things
In an interesting parallel to how half the cast abandons the kingdom cause it’s a sinking shipload of kamikaze, on the other routes, Raphael complains about the instability and confusing politics of the alliance and how she should probably grab Maya and his grandfather and get them to Garreg Magh. I suppose a lot of people without connections or political accumen must feel this way. the monastery IS light javelin proof, so yeah...Raphael isn’t salty toward Claude himself tho. Then again he has little capacity for salt and in his paralogue it’s kinda shown that he makes a deliberate choice to live a low-salt lifestyle its not just obliviousness, he actively doesnt want grudges or awkwardness in his life
Leonie is also here to babysit Byleth and tells them not to let Dimitri push them around 
Hilda: “The Monastery is a mess. So is Dimitri. I’m only here because Byleth is competent and Holst is annoying“
Dorothea and Bernie have so far gotten identical dialogues to the church route
Lysithea is interesting and kinda morally ambiguous. She says outright that she cares nothing for the kingdom or anything other than a peaceful life for her parents. She wants to get at the slitherers for her own revenge and they’re in the empire so she finds Dimitri’s revenge obsession convenient. Also very ironic cause, are she and Edelgard gonna fight each other because they both want to get at Thales? Very interesting bc vanilla BL doesn’t adress the slitherers that much - of course Lysithea says she has beef with “the empire” and doesn’t elaborate. At the same time Lysithea is MUCH more logical and self aware than most of the kingdom crew bar Sylvain so yeah
actually,  Lysithea, like Felix, has TONS of route specific dialogue. I guess the devs expected those two to get recruited a lot since they are just flat out the strongest students apart from the house leaders. 
The Kingdom is arguably just as infiltrated but Lysithea doesn’t know... and at this point Cornelia’s cooperating with the Empire anyways
General trend of the Alliance recruitees not being all that attached to the Alliance as they hardly knew each other at the start and half of them had nothing to do with politics
Nothing to do with the recruitees, but so THATS what happens if you propose to go to Fhirdiad first. Dimitri is like “You’re supposed to lead the church! Go rescue Rhea!” ...he doesn’t know the whole thing with Byleth being experimented on by Rhea (neither does Byleth at this point) but it is kinda low. Mitya you have no leg to stand on here indeed the main reason I was sympathetic to you last playthrough is that you never ASKED Gilbert & co to put you on the throne and made clear that you’re not interested in that... so following you was on them to an extent. but you don’t get to say “Do your Bishop job” (that Byleth never asked for) if you’re not doing your job cause you’re too busy doing your kamikaze raid. Then again he’s probably too emotional and just plain done with everything rn to see the contradiction/look at this with perspective he’s probably physically incapable of chilling out rn
It just ends with Byleth doing a pointed sadface. daamn Mitya don’t be mean to By-By she still believes in you dude : (  Though it makes sense he’s big on obligation he’s doing this revenge trip because he feels he must. So it’s more a distortion than it really is a contradiction, as far as he’s concerned he IS doing his duty...to the fallen. I guess if you can’t handle him at his “Go be a bishop or something” you don’t deserve him at his “my beloved~” 
Still hurts a bit tho. Especially when Claude, though not without his own agenda, was distinctly a good friend on the topic, “Teach you’re in charge now be more confident~ the church doesnt run you, you run the church”
Before Aillel Dorothea says something about the Kingdom people also looking undecided of where to march, but she also wonders if some fighting/ victory will quell uncertainty 
Also she and mercie are standing next to each other! Ive said before that it’s weird how they don’t rly have a support though they are the two most popular extroverted ppl on the campus... they GOTTA know each other at least on a smalltalk basis
Alois is like “These kingdom ppl dont seem to know what they want... but hey this allow YOU to shine as a leader”... so basically Byleth is running this show but for all that they’re a good field commander and decisive when it comes to immadiate practical problems, as far as big picture direction goes, well, Sothis’ “boulder” quote comes to mind. They just never had big attachments on convictions, the Felix support chain is also salient here. They kinda just did whatever job they were given until they found a bigger cause/purpose after throwing in their lot with one of the lords or the remaining saints.
I wondered how this would play out as the Kingdom route is very kingdom-specific, whereas Claude, Edelgard and the church all have an universal cause for people to get behind. I guess how this plays out is that before Dimitri’s turnaroud there’s the kingdom faction and the Byleth faction and Byleth is kinda trying to run the show as they think Dimitri would if he were at his best
Caspar is still on the more unphazed side but also substantially more phazed than on the church or GD routes, he wasn’t particularly close to Randolph but he’s not unaffected by Dimitri going a tad over the top here - he also has the takeaway that Dimitri probably never trusted him much since he was born in the empire.
Sylvain actually alledges something about Dimitri not socializing much with any Adrestians even back in the academy days if you recruit him on CF so this does not come out of nowhere. Also kinda makes me wish they had a support - theyre both naturals at smashing things but they have very different attitudes towards it. then again i suppose it would go alot like the raphael one
Ferdie recognizes Myrrdin is a strategically better location but as Aegir territory is closeby he wishes we could have invaded through there so he could take it back... Would the citizens want him back tho? After the war its a no-brainer cause he helped end it, the peasants arent going to complain about too much peace and prosperity nor are they gonna feel nostalgic about anyone who started a war with their tax money and then lost it, but if he waltzed into an area that had thus far been far from the frontlines, following his fathers’s exploitative management and 5 years of semi equal rights under edelgard? he might have been welcomed with  pitchforks, through no fault of his own. 
He says something implying hed like to come rescue his relatives implying that some of them are still alive. of course the pm deserves all Edelgard threw at him and then some, but id be curious about Ferdie’s other relatives. His mom probably looks just like him, because he sure didnt get the looks from his dad... or anything else really, apart from the crest and hair color. - though i think the a support with bernadetta implies that shes no longer around
Lorenz bitterly remarking that of course Claude and his dad eventually made peace since they both only serve their own interests. (”So long as their interests are in allignment they will continue to cooperate”)   Says the guy we just rescued from his endeavors in turncoatery. Lorenz you’re pretty opportunistic too, and as for your redeeming features Claude has those too - but of course you’ll never find out in this one. Still, it shows that he’s painfully aware that his father - whom he would have died protecting if we hadn’t spared him - is a villain and a hack
Claude isn’t super trusting and knows that he gets percieved as shifty so he promises people to get them theirs so that they support him out of self interest. No need to take a chace. Of course by the end of this route he WILL take big chance on Dimitri 
That says Lorenz is not SO biased that he can’t tell that Claude might be interested in working with the kingdom army
Lysithea (who surprisingly has TONS of unique dialogue here, and I like that it’s a complex mature plot) is having her doubts and not trusting Dimitri for all that she finds him an useful idiot. By and large you get the sense that many consider Byleth the leader of this operation, she’s glad that Byleth is there to issue sensible orders. She tells Byleth not to tell anyone and worries about what will happen once the empire’s vanquished. No faith in team Kingdom... at all. Understandable of course
Hilda’s dialogue is largely the same as in the church route and at times kinda the same in all routes but I like how she’s like “Claude might’ve looked like a lazy bum but he’s smart! If he says he’s on our side he will defs help!” before the gronder fiasco
A lot of NPCs stir the suspicion here so it stands out how much she totally trusts him like hes any other friend
As with the other routes with the recruitees you get an idea of what’s going on in the other territories such as Lysithea deducing that Judith must be backing Claude in his gambit
One moment you think Lorenz is going to add some somber insightful commentary to the sincerity of Claude’s offer but then he’s like, “Granted Dimitri is much improved. He must be asking us for help cause he trusts ME” XD Like... no friend. You’re almost right but if there’s anyone here he was faith in its Byleth. And then he’s even like, “Well no choice but to save poor Claudesy” On the one hand it shows that there not just pure hate there on the other... lulz. 
apparently one of the first things Dimitri did after getting his act together post gronder is profusely apologize to Caspar for that ugly business with Randolph. Thats a worthwhile detail and i want fanfic of it. Caspar being Caspar he wasnt really keeping a grudge, they’re a warrior clan and they were at war
They had to move out so quickly that Hilda had no time to go shopping in Fhirdiad #Priorities XD
Meanwhile Ignatz, like a normal person,  hopes his folks will be safe
hilda does eventually remember to maybe save her folks and claude but only after making Byleth promise to go on a shopping trip with her. Someone should probably write that fanfic
Someone told me that Ferdinand had some prominent critical lines but it was really just one, and it’s as I suspected actually just a variant of the same “a king can’t be emotional” line he gets in all the routes, this time with the addendum that if he turned around and decided to go rescue the capital, he might be capable of reason/being a decent leader after all.  granted I guess compared to how most of the Kingdom people go along with everything it comes off critical? IDK.
Lysithea misses Rodrigue :( 
Lorenz and Ignatz standing next to each other was a nice touch they have a fairly wholesome friendship
Leonie’s just glad that ol’ Mitya is “back to normal” especially since she’s pretty sure that they don’t have enough soldiers to get to Fort Merceus let alone Enbarr
For obvious reasons, Petra is pretty sympathetic about the whole “retaking Fhirdiad” thing
Seeing Seteth and Catherine so certain that Rhea would want them to save the people of Fhirdiad first when you know that she wouldn’t hesitate to set the place on fire is just...OUCH. Though it does show the goodness in Seteth and Catherine themselves. 
Manuela wishes she could’ve moved her informary to gronder and save a few more peeps :(
It seems like to Leonie, Dimitri will always be just “Dimitri”, King or not. Figures she aaaaalmost adressed even Byleth by name XD You really DO get the sense that he interacted alot with the recruitees
All the house leaders shouldve had more supports. 
If you grabbed hanneman he’ll give you some extra backstory on Cornelia - apparently she was originally from the empire and an eminent scholar whose great work Hanneman was vaguely aware of. I would assume that was still the real cornelia. Judging by the timing it sounds like she might’ve smuggled Patricia out of Adrestia. Assuming both were still original at this point this might present a possibility for why she trusted/vouched for cornelia without being complicit / lend itself to a “she was duped” reading
But it’s still suspicious that she would end up courting the second most powerful man in the land right after number one. 
Some had suggested that Cornelia caused the plague in the first place but the thing is there was a perfectly credible  “mundane” explanation for it (the city’s sewers not being up to date technologically) that theres no reason to doubt
Assuming that all the replacements occurred 14 years before part one when Arundel stopped his donations/ thins being about the time when Cornelia’s personality was noted to have changed completely, that would mean both the “fixing the severs” thing and the soppy story about how Edelgards’ parents met would be real 
AAAA everything to do with patricia is just so ambiguous - if they were longtime friends wouldn’t she have noticed something “off”? Same with her brother actually. Lambert had his own country so its not like there was no one to protect her. 
Ahhh THIS is how lorenz gets iinto the midset for that prissy, hes pissed that Claude dissolved the Alliance and misses it XD
you DO get to call him out for being a turncoat himself tho. particularly hilarious since Byleth just blinks and asks a casual question there
He immediately changes his tune
oh lorenz dear, i love you but you, sir, are WEAK xD
Lysithea as always calls everything and notes how suspicious arundel was alluding to the hrym nightmare also mentioned in her paralogue
She also mentions that he was said to be good and just at one point suggesting that there was a real Volkhard von Arundel at some point. 
if the replacement took place when those donations ceased then Edelgard and Dimitri were 3, 14 years before part 1. Early enough that this could be around the time Patricia left enbarr, if this is when it happened then the romantic tower story might be real assuming that the Arundels were replaced at the same time - whatever arrived in Faerghus recomended patricia for a job so it probably had already happened by then 
Its all so ambiguos tho we can only speculate there are so many possibilities
Ignatz marvels at how Claude managed to minimize damage to Alliance lands throughout the war, as in CF only Deirdru itself got particularly thrashed. Ignatz’ folks are safe and sound! Leave it to him to wonder where Claude might have absconded to. He was always one of the insightful ones but not in the same way as the other clever ones. More intuitive I guess. Cant remember if it was indentical to what you get if you spare Claude on CF (Cue the lets player remarking that Claude is probably stuck in a washing machine somewhere... he hadn’t cleared the Alliance route at that point)
Lol HILDA “And then the whole Alliance descended into chaos...” or actually she is surprised that that DIDNT happen and how orderly Claude managed the dissolution. “But I Guess we’re screwed if Dimitri turns out to be a crazed despot... he’s not gonna go crazy again is he?” You of little faith XD But she says all this in her usual cheery nonserious voice like
this chapter has a lot of unique dialogue actually
Linhardt  impressed that anyone would have the guts to attack Fort Merceus directly and suggests looking for weak spots in the old walls
He shows up guarding it in SS and Vw doesn’t he? Guess he was visiting Caspar or something - or would have been familiar with the place from visiting the Bergliez clan in the past. 
Ferdinand is wowed by Claude bowing out giving him kudos for caring about the peoples wishes. He thinks Edelgard ought to quit at this point and he’s alot harsher on her here than in any of the other routes. (”Not reveryone with noble blood has noble ideals” - Coming from Ferdinand that’s an accusation ) Interestingly at this point hes sticking with Dimitri cause post character developement, lots of ordinary ppl support him at this point and hes popular with the crowds. He’s wholly on the Savior King bandwagon, and maybe that’s why he’s harsher. He’s partial. Says something about him actually, largely good things when you think about it. Dimitri is probably the closest to what Ferdinand’s (and Lorenz’) own beliefs were. He likes the existing order and living in a fancy palace but he thinks the rulers should serve the people.
Its kinda ironic and sad because in ALL the other routes he clearly thinks Dimitri is an idiot and a bad ruler, and says he should be more composed and objective. But Dimitri wasnt at his best there now was he? 
 now ill be sad everytime I get to those “Ferdinand disses Dimitri” lines. They couldve been buds! 
but i dont see this happening in any other route. According to something Sylvain says in cf Dimitri avoided ppl from the empire  at the academy so they wouldnt have cozied up pre-timeskip, and its only the version of Dimitri who has his shit together which appeals to Ferdie as a leader. 
really torn here on the one hand its a nice synergy to see lorenz and especially Ferdinand (who is waaay less arroganz than lorenz) sort of getting to win on their own terms with a ruler that jives with them and their Lawful Good fantasy classic thing. It’s not just a status quo thing its a protectors of the people thing. It’s heroic.  On the other hand it feels like they’re stagnating when they could have had growth. This is basically the same Lorenz and the same Ferdinand we first met except slightly more mature.  Notably lorenz is the same in the church route whereas Ferdie isnt as he still ends up rebelling fleeing and fighting against the empire. It helps that he practically winds up leading the remaining Eagles, albeit under Byleth and Seteth.  
He still gets that line about being kinda sad to see the empire go though he knows there must be an end to the chaos, i think a few lines are different, so, not wholly without doubt
Shamir muses about hoe the three countries were once one and the same, but wonders that even if we put fodlan togethere theres no guarantee that it wouldnt come apart again. i mean there isnt, and wether thats a bad thing would depend a lot on the circumstances but its also possible that theyll get used to being one and forget they wrere ever separate. no one controls the far future... and should they? After all its always possible that someone in the future will have unforseeable circumstances or better ideas
Caspar sighs with relief that they didn’t have to fight his dad, last second worry about him turning up in the capital nonwithstanding... right does he get to live in this? Carpar wonders what’ll happen to him if they win, but he’s not holding down Faerghus so he might not have died the way he did in Silver Snow and Verdant Wind. It’s at least possible that he was captured alive and pardoned somehow. 
Marianne’s adoptive dad sure smelled which way the wind was blowing; He was supporting Claude’s strategy to get the Cloucesters back under controll but sent Marianne to curry favor with the kingdom. Make friends with whoever wins I suppose. Ambitious politician indeed. 
When she doesnt her from him in a while she wonders if he forgot about her but says she wouldnt mind that much because at least she wouldnt have to do any more politics? I distinctly recall that in gd there was something about how they got along better after the timeskip. Sigh. 
she is real glad that Dimitri and claude ended up cooperating in the end
So does Dorothea but then she makes herself sad wishing that Edelgard was also there :( Me too friend, me too.  I think thats the one unique line she gets this route. I like how it’s consistent in the church route she’s also the one who feels the most sad about betraying her, they were pretty close pre timrskip 
as far as leonies concerned Dimitri is still just Dimitri even after taking back his kingdom. i like to think hed appreciate that. its also very typical of leonie. as with the “Caspar gets an apology” thing plenty of the recruitees get lines hinting that theres been more personal interaction between them and dimitri, kinda goes with how ppl in his own house follow him more out of personal loyalty than because they follow his plans like with the other two. hes kinda a very approachable sort of leader, makes the decisions with the group or follows whatever gilbert and Byleth decide, in the other routes theres always a distinct inner circle. Its cool how they incorporated the recruitees into that dynamic. 
Petra is dissapointed that they DIDNT do a sneak attack on fort Merceus contrasting her usual line about how she likes sneak attacks.  Dimitri naps both that an Enbarr head on doesn’t he? The Church has a smaller Army full of peeps who would rather not destroy Enbarr, and Claude agrees with Petra on the sneak attack thing and then Edelgard did that sorta shady but largely very gutsy thing where she didn’t sound the evacuation to restrict Claude’s movements knowing that there was zero danger that he would plow through the civilians (they don’t do this here cause last time they met Dimitri he was not feeling merciful indeed judging by huberts welcome lines and engage quotes he doesnt buy the turnaround), the AM ending narration also suggests that Enbarr wasn’t rebuilt, though Dimitri gave distinct “No pillaging!” orders, so they probably just couldn’t avoid wrecking the buildings and relocated the citizens. 
Ashe also speculates where Claude went. That’s one of the things i like about Ashe he consistently averts out of sight out of mind I particularly always loved how he consistently worried about Dedue. Someone ought to. 
Ingrid interestingly changed her tune here / kinda speaks positively of claude here - in CF she was like “I always though he was creepy”
Then again that was before fighting him I don’t recall If those two dont get the same lines if you spare Claude,  have to go back and check
id like to mention that the lets player put lorenz in the pyjamas/loungewear the whole time as “punishment” for being late to the reunion and poked fun at him throughout.
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feralhogs · 4 years
Note
Questions 1, 2, skip a few, 99 100! ANSWER THEM ALL!!!!!!
LETS DO THIS
99 gay-ish asks
how tall are you?5 SOMETHING
what is your body type?SLENDERMAN
what is your favorite part about your body?THE T
is your current hair color your natural hair color?YES
are you more outgoing or more shy?SHY
are you more femme or butch?ITS COMPLICATED, BUT, BUTCH
are you tol or smol?APPARENTLY IM TWINK. NOT SURE WHERE THAT IS ON THIS SCALE
wine mom or vodka aunt?NO
weird habit?I EAT BREAKFAST FOOD AT ANY HOUR
favorite meme?VIBE CHECK, IM SMUG ABOUT MY URL
do you sing in the shower?NO BUT I USED TO. JUST SHY ABOUT ROOMMATES. I DO IN MY CAR
ever used a bow and arrow?NO, BUT MY BROTHER DESIGNED AND BUILT ONE, GOT IN TROUBLE FOR MAKING A WEAPON
are/were you a theatre kid?IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE IM ALLOWED TO HAVE AN EGO, YES
have you ever seen a broadway musical?NO
do you think musicals are cheesy?NO I THINK THEYRE JUST A MEDIUM OF ART
have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?NO WEIRDLY
favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?IDK THEM
last movie you watched?PROBABLY MEGEAMIND
behind the camera or in front of it?BEHIND. BUT BOTH IS GOOD
favorite tv show?AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER
meaning behind your urlTHE ACTUAL REASON IS IT REMINDS ME I CAN TRUST MY INTUITION
reason you joined tumblrA CRUSH WROTE IN MY YEARBOOK I SHOULD GET IT. DONT WRITE THAT IN PEOPLES YEARBOOKS
who’s your closest tumblr friend?THE PERSON ASKING ME 99 QUESTIONS
what’s something most people love that you hate?TACOS AT WORK. THEYRE POPULAR OF COURSE. I MAY NOT KNOW MY TACOS, BUT PLAIN RAW CABBAGE ON THEM MAKES ME DOUBT
have you ever taken narcotics?NO
have you had sex?NO
have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?I DONT GET CAUGHT!!!! IM SO SNEAKY… AND TRAUMATIZED. I ONLY GOT CAUGHT WHEN PEOPLE WERE LIKE, HUNTING ME. NOT FAIR. ALSO HOW DO YOU “GET CAUGHT” FOR DOING NORMAL THINGS LIKE READING AND HAVING CLOTHES
worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?PROBABLY THE REASSURING CHRISTIAN VALUES THINGS I TOLD MY PARENTS TO GET MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST BECAUSE FOR SOMEONE INCONVENIENTLY TRUTHFUL, THAT WAS SOME PRETTY HARDCORE LYING IN A RIDICULOUS SITUATION, AND THE WORST BECAUSE WHAT A HORRIBLE THING TO HAVE TO DO. IT WAS HORRIBLE BECAUSE I WAS SO CONVINCING BECAUSE I MIXED IT WITH THE TRUTH I COULD SINCERELY EXPRESS
describe your passion without mentioning it.HEY GUYS IM WRITING CHAPTER 1 AGAIN I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT THIS TIME
describe your best friend.WARM STRONG RESILIENT UNCONDITIONALLY LOVING KINDLY HONEST CREATIVE TALENTED BRAVE HARDWORKING BEAUTIFUL ORIGINAL NURTURING SELF CONFIDENT
give us one thing about you that no one knows.NO ONE KNOWS THE GRITTY DETAILS OF SOME SAD MOMENTS IN MY PAST. DID YOU KNOW I HATE THE SMELL OF HOSPITAL FOOD FROM WHEN I VISITED A FAMILY MEMBER IN A PSYCH WARD
how do you feel right now?GOOD, I SHOULD PROBABLY GO TO BED THOUGH
what is your biggest fear?BREAKING SELF HARM STREAK
what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?SING A SONG EARTH WIND AND FIRE
what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?LEAVING MY PARENTS. ITS TAKEN ME AGES TO UNLEARN SO MUCH SELF-DEFEATING STUFF
have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?MOSTLY EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE BUT IM CHILL
something you fantasize about.ACTUALLY DANCING TO MUSIC I LIKE. I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO DANCE BUT I WANT TO SFM
last time you cried and whyTHAT PREACHER GUY IN LUCIFER. IT SUCKED BUT IM SO BLOWN AWAY BY LUCIFERS ANGRY YELLING AT THE SKY. WHAT A GIANT MOOD
what was the last thing that made you laugh?MY SISTER ASKING ME WHAT DILF MEANT
do you really, truly miss someone right now?NO. IF I MISS SOMEONE, ITS A SIGN THEY WERE A BAG OF DICKS TO ME AND MESSED UP MY INNER CLARITY
who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?YOU
the last time you felt broken?WHEN MY TWO FRIENDS AT THE TIME GANGED UP ON ME AND ABANDONED ME AT A NOT PRETTY TIME IN MY LIFE. I COULDNT EAT WHICH AND I STILL STRUGGLE WITH EATING, I NEVER USED TO
are you starting to realize anything?THAT IF I RELY ON MY LIFE EXPERIENCE, ILL EXPECT TO FAIL AND SABOTAGE MYSELF, AND INSTEAD I NEED TO TAKE RISKS AND PUT FAITH IN MY FUTURE.
are you more dominant or more submissive?THERES EVIDENCE FOR BOTH, BUT I THINK THE LATTER IS JUST FROM ABUSE AND GIRL RULES
i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)WASH YOUR HANDS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?AROUND MY AGE THERE IS SOME UNDERSTANDING
describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.IM NOT IN LOVE I DONT EVEN HAVE A CRUSH. I MAY HAVE A SQUISH
do you have any kinks?MAYBE SO
first thing you notice in a person?HOW THEY HANDLE STRESS AND PROBLEMS, IF THEY BLAME/GET ANGRY, OR IF THEY ARE COMPASSIONATE AND PATIENT. LOOKING FOR RED FLAGS
how can someone win your heart?FOOD. CHEESECAKE WAS A POWER MOVE. BONDING… OVER FOOD. I HAVE HAPPY MEMORIES ATTACHED TO BEVERAGES.
been rejected by a crush?YES
have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?YES
would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?NO
is trust a big issue for you?YES
did you hang out with the person you like recently?NO
is confidence cute?YES, SELF LOVE LOOKS GOOD ON PEOPLE
what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?GOOD FOR THEM. I DONT LIKE ANYONE RIGHT NOW
would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?NO. GIGGLING LIKE A LUNATIC IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF MY LIFE AND YOU NEED TO KEEP UP
does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?IF THEYRE FEELINGS, PROBABLY, BECAUSE IM TRANSPARENT
ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?IVE HAD MY EMBARRASSMENT GLANDS REMOVED FOR MY FTM TRANSITION
do you want to get marriedYEAH WHEN IM FIFTY THEN ILL GET A BUNCH OF DOGS AND CATS AND CHICKENS
worst thing you’ve ever done?APPARENTLY IVE BORROWED BOOKS AND NEVER RETURNED THEM
three things that turn you on.IM GOING THRU PUBERTY 2, TEENAGE BOY EDITION, IT DOESNT TAKE MUCH
who do you hate?I DONT LIKE SUCH SIMPLE CATEGORIES, BUT I START TO FEEL HATRED WITH REPEATED CRUELTY/WHEN SOMEONE REFUSES TO HEAR ME
favorite term of endearment?MY FRIEND
who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?I DIDNT REALLY HAVE TVS/POP CULTURE GROWING UP LIKE MOST PEOPLE, PROBABLY FOUND IT IN CREATIVE WRITING
intimidating girls or kind girls?KIND
what do you look for in a possible partner?EQUALITY
do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?YES
are you good at flirting?PERHAPS. WHEN IM NOT THINKING ABOUT IT
who was the first person you came out to?I DONT ACTUALLY REMEMBER. A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND. IT WAS A STRESSFUL COMPLICATED TIME, MY WORLD WAS UPSIDE DOWN, IT WAS GRADUAL
do you have any friends who are wlw?PROBABLY
is your crush wlw?IDK
last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?A DOUCHE CANOE UNFORTUNATELY
write a short love poem to your crush/self?DEAR PERSON,THANK YOU FOR THE CHEESECAKEIT WAS SO GOODBUT ONLY BECAUSE IT WAS FROM YOU
do you fall in love easily?NO. I WISH I DID. I COULD USE THE HIGH TO GET STUFF DONE
is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?I HATE TALKING ABOUT THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL HUMILIATED AND ASHAMED, SO I JUST DONT. I ALSO HATE TALKING ABOUT SELF HARM BECAUSE I NEVER KNOW HOW. AM I GOING TO TRIGGER PEOPLE? AND IT IS SHROUDED IN SHAME AND FEAR.
are you good at hiding your feelings?YES, WHEN I CONSCIOUSLY MAKE AN EFFORT TO
are you a forgiving person?NO. I USED TO BE ALL ABOUT FORGIVENESS, AND GREW UP FORGIVING ABUSIVE CYCLES, IT WAS SO UNHEALTHY. NOW I FEEL LIKE A CROW HOLDING GRUDGES FOR CENTURIES, AND I DONT WANT TO BE BITTER EITHER – I OFTEN FEEL BAD FOR NOT FORGIVING, EVEN IF ITS JUST FORGIVENESS FOR MY OWN SAKE. BUT ITS A NEW DEVELOPMENT THAT IM ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEEL ANGRY, BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT BEING WRONGED, WANT JUSTICE FOR MYSELF. AND MAYBE SOME THINGS SHOULDNT BE FORGIVEN.
what is your “type?”I DONT KNOW. I RECENTLY STARTED GROWING SOME SELF WORTH, AND I DONT THINK THE PEOPLE IVE SOUGHT OUT TO RELIVE MY PAIN COUNTS
fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?LAST ONE
tall girls or short girls?BOTH IS GOOD
hugs or kisses?HUGS
twirl her around or get twirled?I WANNA TWIRL PEOPLE
tummy kisses or thigh kisses?BOTH
hairline kisses or neck kisses?NECK
play with her hair or stroke her tummy?PLAYING WITH HAIR
making out or soft kisses?MAKING OUT
hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?WAIST
how confident are you in your sexuality?I THINK PEOPLE WOULD ASSUME IM NOT. IM SHY, AND MY NERDY CHRISTIAN VIBE ISNT GOING ANYWHERE. IM ALSO JUST BEGINNING TO LIVE AS MYSELF AND IM RELEARNING EVERYTHING. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO REALLY KNOWING MYSELF IM CONFIDENT
when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?NO. I WILL START CRANKING OUT ART AND FOCUS LESS THAN USUAL
have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?YES
how old were you when you realized you were into girls?20ISH BUT THE SIGNS WERE THERE LONG BEFORE
most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?I GOT MY EMBARRASSMENT GLANDS REMOVED REMEMBER
do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?I DONT KNOW MANY BUT IM HAPPY FOR THE CANON MARCELINE AND BUBBLEGUM
what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?MY SISTER PROJECTING ABOUT HER LIFE. WE HAVE CONSERVATIVE MISOGYNIST PARENTS BUT WE ARE VERY DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND IT DID NOT AFFECT US IN THE SAME WAY
when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?I FEEL LIKE IM FORGETTING SOMETHING NICE A STRANGER SAID ONCE
what is love to you?NOT SOMETHING YOU DISPENSE AT YOUR CONVENIENCE. ITS A WAY OF LIVING – IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF, YOU LOVE OTHER PEOPLE, AND YOU LOVE THE WORLD AROUND YOU AND TAKE CARE OF IT. ITS NEITHER FAWNING NOR CONTROL – ITS ACCEPTANCE
ask me anything.YOU DIDNT ASK ME ANYTHING SO IM JUST GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. IVE BEEN EATING POPCORN CHICKEN WITH HONEY
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sugawaras · 5 years
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kaze ga tsuyoku fuiteiru!
The first character I first fell in love with: HAIJI!!!
The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: honestly everyone!!!  theyre all so loveable in their own way and I can say for certain this show gives me more anxiety (my stomach is truly suffering shdhf) than literally all the other shows airing rn, partly bc I do track so it kinda takes me back to the feeling I get at meets, but mostly bc ive gotten so attached to the characters it makes me so nervous to think of them doing poorly :(( 
The character everyone else loves that I don’t: no one!
The character I love that everyone else hates: WELL im pretty sure most ppl don’t hate him but whenever sakaki (red haired dude) appears on screen im like.. “on the one hand hes an antagonist and kind of an ass but on the other hand hes cute and his assness is sorta understandable” so yea u know I really appreciate him for.. aesthetic purposes.. lmao 
The character I used to love but don’t any longer: *mitski voice* nobodyy
The character I would totally smooch: @ kakeru : your smooches, hand them over 
The character I’d want to be like: I love love love prince’s motivation and perseverance and in the episode from last week when he was saying like “what If I wasn’t doing this? then I would hate myself even more” gosh that hit so hard
The character I’d slap: I wouldn’t REALLY but probably the journalist/reporter guy? dude is worse than any of their actual opponents lol  
A pairing that I love: musa/shindo 10000/10
A pairing that I despise: none particularly come to mind!
send me a fandom!
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artcanary · 6 years
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1-50
oh my god dude 
im gonna put this under a cut bc this is a lot. this is a ride, have fun i guess
1. Your first OC ever?god. its got to be Super Kitty. when i was like … an incredibly small child I used to draw comic strips about this feline caped crusader, who was friends with everyone in the city, and the comics always involved him stopping an evil banana man from stealing money from the local bank. He was paid with donuts for his service to the city. i still remember how to draw him. 
2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?i’d get arrested if I didn’t answer this with Bronze, probably… but really, they’re very important to me
3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?man, i cant remember! i really dont think i have… P:
4. A character you rarely talk about?there’s loads of characters ive never even posted a single picture of on tumblr, i wouldnt even know where to start asdf
5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? bronze is the easy answer, but… i guess that could also go to Servant or Westrin. Servant has a comic project in the works that basically stars him, sort of a series of one-shots about the things he’s experienced, i feel like that would be a good thing to take off and run with. Westrin’s just fun as hell, i love the guy.
6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?real talk now… there’s at least five different characters that i refer to as a whole as “bronze-tangential”, who started out as, “what would bronze be like if they were in this world?” and then becoming their own thing within said world because i just get stupid attached 
its an epidemic
7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?nearly all of them, actually. that’s the main reason i make characters, after all! too many to really go into specifics here, again P: 
8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!not often, but i think Bronze and Westrin are the most common ones. unless playing a character in dnd, or running an npc in dnd counts… then a whole lot more hahaha
9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?it depends on the circumstances. i don’t really like the idea, though. 
10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? Westrin’s old getup is a pain to draw, and there was one other design i did that I cant find anywhere… whichever way, i dont often tend to draw super complicated things often 
a couple fakemon ive designed though… heheh those can get pretty finicky
11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? hmmmmmmmm my immediate thought was Eric Silverdale from a comic i was working on a few years ago. hes a darling, i want him to be my friend irl
12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lothow could you do this to me i love each and every one of all my friends ocs GOD the first one who comes to mind is @d20-official‘s Smith, whos Bronze’s friend… everyone in that DND party actually
13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? Rated on a scale from “harmless” to “honestly somewhat frightening”: -Baromet (charming and quite friendly but definitely a kleptomaniac),-Westrin (demigod of bards and travelers), -XEN09 (a nonsense hacker), -Conny (needlessly contrarian and dumb as HELL), -Enza Colie (long fucking story but hes a good-for-nothing), -Hemlocke (mad scientist, chaotic evil), -Iris (AI and hacker, VERY bad), -The Terminus (glitch-in-the-matrix demon, chaotic evil), -and Sydd (the Queen of the Faeries, hopefully the danger there needs no explaining :’D)
14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory Mmm… there’s a few of them, most obviously Lent (whose background I did a short comic about). Basically his entire town got eaten by ghosts and turned into zombies, he only barely survived with a sliver of his soul left. 
15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?yes, i often discuss storylines and such with friends
16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? Probably Bronze’s dad! I don’t talk about him much, but his name’s Devon Reed, and he was a biotech developer specialising in android design. 
I often describe him as being something of a reverse Arthur Weasley - a very fatherly scientist fascinated to the moon and back with the concept of magic. 
17. Any OC OTPs? having trouble thinking of a lot of them right now, but there’s Eric + Lent & Naiadine + Tailias from Emerald Sigil, Avken + Baromet from my space campaign world, Sydd + Wyvv from my unnamed campaign world, and I’ve been considering Westrin + Servant as an interesting dynamic in Servant’s story
18. Any OC crackships? My character Bismuth and @autistictimeknight​‘s oc Eros. Theyre so fucking in love, I love it. Its been awhile but I do still think about them sometimes.
As I recall, Eros is an empath, she can read other people’s emotions. But Bismuth is a robot, and Eros can’t read her. Because of this Eros can let go of her fear of unintentionally manipulating the emotions of her date, which would hold her back from most other relationships. 
19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)Hey, meet Bronze! I definitely do not talk about them every five minutes, why would you say that. 
Bronze was with me through two of the hardest years of my life so far, and being a DND character they grew with me, both as a fighter and as a person. They were non-binary before I started using those pronouns, they were the first character or person or anything who I fought someone about using the right pronouns for, they make a great icebreaker for if I want to see how someone reacts to non-binary pronouns … 
One funny anecdote about Bronze is that when I first made them, their “gimmick” was that they would sometimes glitch out and mess up their speech, mostly because I wanted an excuse not to engage in the roleplaying (which I was very bad at). The interesting thing is that as I got better at interacting with the group, we both grew out of needing it very quickly. 
I’m very proud of Bronze. 
20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?Westrin is a bard! His singing voice sounds like Bill Wurtz and these are his theme songs.
21. Your most artistic OCProbably Westrin again, he writes a lot of songs… and Hallux is a game designer?
22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? I honestly dont know… no-one talks to me about them, haha! 
people use all manner of pronouns for bronze, though. 
23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?I’m gonna go with Enza for this one. Enza Colie was originally written entirely because I wanted an antagonist for a short starring his sister, Jane Colie. But the more I fleshed out his reasonings for acting how he did and explored his character, the more I realised he’d make an even more interesting character if allowed to have a redemption arc, too. 
I just want to state for the record that I was very reluctant to the idea, and he basically dragged his way out of the villain pit entirely of his own accord. I am dubiously proud of him, and also a bit scared. 
24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?Probably either Eric (Big Man, Best Friend), Crocus (Mother figure), Reed (Father Figure), Westrin (hed just make a good friend u kno??), or Bismuth (she makes good conversation!)
25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)probably the homestuck fan-troll Hallux, but that’s mostly because they were based on a troll-sona I made awhile ago. They’re a hope/prospit game designer who is small and full of rage and love
oh, and there’s dave! dave’s a superhero speedster, existing in a modern-day superhero version of seattle. theyre idiot, just like me,
26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? this is an interesting one… i don’t think ive ever had something Bad in a design ive done called to my attention by someone, but I did create my character Servant at around the same time I was first really expanding the diversity of my casts. (since i don’t talk about him often, a little context: he’s a magic spirit creature bound to human form to serve the royal family of the land and follow their orders.) 
somehow, younger-and-more-stupid me managed to have the revelation that making this “eternal slave” character literally anything other than a white man, especially as a white author, would be Pretty Not Good. im … thats really, really not something i should pat myself on the back for, but i do consider it one of the biggest bullets dodged in my artistic career so far that i realised that not all representation is good representation so quickly, before i could make that incredibly, incurably stupid mistake. 
after that, trying to make sure my characters and their presentations don’t harm anyone pretty much has become a paranoia. i don’t seem to have stepped on any toes yet, but when it inevitably happens, please let me know - i didnt know, and i want to fix it! 
27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? None that I can think of, actually! I don’t really do that often. 
28. Your most dangerous OC? god damn it i have no idea!!! is it the terminus? glitch in the matrix god of chaos motherfucker?is it sarle? terrifying calculating scientist with the power of the soul at her fingertips ??? is it ares??? is it athena????? is it petra?????? the gatekeeper???? 
… actually, the gatekeeper might be it, if “dangerous” just refers to “the amount of raw power it can wield”. the Gatekeeper is a titanic entity that exists in interdimensional multiverse space, and its implied to have the ability to create and destroy entire universe bubbles at will. for what cosmic purpose, no-one knows. 
at a more personal scale, though, literally all of the aforementioned characters are pretty bad to run into too. 
29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?god. Mina or Tawn. Tawn is the Indiana Jonesy type and probably dumb enough, but also competent enough not to get into too much trouble there. Mina would probably drag her friends along. 
30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? XEN09. No-one knows, because no-one knows xir personal identity. Xe absolutely does, though. It’s less of a secret if you know xir in person, but good luck finding out about it otherwise. 
31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)dave just reblogs memes all the time tbh. they like to keep tabs on the ridiculous superhero news going on, and they show human jokes and cat videos to their alien gf. they dont really post or add to posts, but they talk in tags a lot. 
32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? i want to say tawn because i literally just realised ive been imagining their voice as sounding like luigi this entire fucking time and i never realised until this exact instant
33. Your shyest OC?probably baromet. they prefer to keep to themself in their hideout, with their collection of shiny things. they don’t really enjoy trying to communicate much, mostly because they expect to get yelled at. 
34. Do you have any twin characters?Yes! At least two sets; 
- Crocus and Sarle. (x) (x) They don’t exactly have a very well-developed relationship, but they are both quite important to the plot of my campaign world, and they are both very interesting. Crocus is a motherly figure who just exudes friendliness, while Sarle is .. very much not that, a researcher studying very gruesome things and pushing the boundaries of reality. 
- Jane and Enza Colie. I haven’t talked a whole lot about either of them here, but I’d rather leave their story to do the talking whenever I get around to it. Essentially, the both of them were intended to do the dirty work for their crime boss family, but Jane ditched to study medicine. Most of the conflict between the two of them comes out of Enza not understanding why she made the choice she did, and coming to understand how he’s been manipulated. 
35. Any sibling characters? I can’t really think of any off the top of my head, I should … I should really work on that. 
I can talk about Westrin, though. Westrin (a demigod of many things, but namely bards, travel, travelers, and people who are lost) often becomes close friends with mortals, sometimes practically adopting them. These people who consider him family, and people who have received his blessing, are able to use his surname, Brilanta, as their own if they choose. So I guess all of the Brilantas are siblings, at least in spirit. 
Oh, and XEN09 has like, seven siblings. Xe is the second-oldest, and least remarkable. 
36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? I already talked about Eros and Bismuth up there a ways in question 18, but I’ll talk about another relationship here. @autistictimeknight​‘s character, Nova the Alchemist, is mentor and adopted parental figure to my character Munna. Munna … Munna isn’t a very good apprentice. She tries very hard. 
37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human That’s most of them, I’m not quite sure what to say here. Bronze is an android? Bronze again? Westrin? All the aliens ?? 
38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? man. uh. westrin or jean. or perhaps valencia. 
39. Introduce any character you want ??? uhhhHHHhhHHH Lord Brillium is the reigning deity of the Cloud Kingdoms in the other campaign setting I’m working on. They represent light and the quest for knowledge, and spend most of their days in the Cathedral Observatory watching the stars. 
40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!one time bronze flew a hover-bike through the stained glass window in a cathedral blaring all star by smash mouth on their iguana
also one time bronze rickrolled a rakshasa demon and then pulled updog on it like, two minutes later
another time bronze scared off an entire army by pretending to be an automated security system 
41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)ive got a whole little folder on here from all you blessed people !!!! right now ive got a drawing quinn did of one o fmy characters as my lockscreen
but i think the one i’ll really never ever get over is this piece of Jane, by @rabendraws​ / @owoltron​: 
Tumblr media
(i bet you thought i forgot about this, dude. dude. think again.) 
42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? this is kind of a weird question, m, I feel like Bismuth would find learning about the mythos utterly fascinating, as would Tawn. 
43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confesshaha. uh. i might. 
aside from the entire “bronze-tangential characters” thing i mentioned awhile back, I tend to really like designing characters with hair color lighter than their skin color. it just looks so cool man. i love drawing freckles but dont put them on enough characters. i like really curly hair, but also really long and flowy hair. i like drawing triangular body types, and pointy/prominent noses. 
44. Something you like about your OCs in generaluhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is a really vague question. m. m. 
45. A character you no longer use?there’s old versions of characters, but a lot of my older ones have been somehow repurposed. I guess there’s Turien, my first-ever DND character, who’s just kind of sitting dead now. Haven’t really done anything with him other than a pretty recent tangential character. 
46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?Not that I can think of.
47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? Im certain it’s happened, but I can’t remember any specific instances. 
48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pureSpring. spring knows nothing of th dangers of the world who is letting them into fights someon eneeds to stop this
(spring roll, hehe.) 
49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memesim not sure what this question is asking since many of my ocs actively enjoy memes including but not limited to westrin, dave, bronze, xen09, iris, and doctor archersen
50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you wanti think. i think im going to pass on this one. i gave you the good old oc talk. your damn turn, yall: 
if you have any questions about any of these guys feel free to shoot one at me!
thats all from me im tired and its one am. techskylander you absolute madman 
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hogsteeth-archive · 6 years
Text
alright then i answered one of them oc questions things for both versions of ira bc like. why wouldnt i. first answer is 1976 58y/o rhodesian ira, second answer is 201x 16y/o houstonian ira. i just wanted to figure out how different they really are. questions from here. if readmores still dont work on mobile im sorry lmao
what are some things they have strong opinions about?
he has sort of a cioranian attitude to the value of life, like, hes one of them “theres always reason to kill a man, theres no way to justify his living” types. he doesnt believe in nationalism per se but he does believe in war, hes literally a mercenary, and hed probably get along just fine with someone like mike hoare, but hes not one for unnecessary cruelty. hes kind to who he considers innocent. if he was alive today i can see him getting grouped w/ like, anti-natalists, right-wing “primitivists,” people who browse /fo/, people who think theyll thrive in the post-apocalypse even though they cant even spin yarn, people who dont understand fallout, you know, those types, but i like to think his attitude wrt civ is closer to perlmans or, well, mine. its a good thing he doesnt live in internet times. he thinks technology makes people complacent and weak and hes fallen into the trap of the “noble savage” myth; sign of the times. he could just as easily live off the grid in like, alberta, but he chose to stay in southern africa bc of his colonial attitudes & fetishization of the “less developed.” (sidenote, if youre like, new here n reading this for some reason, yea i write like really really bad characters were talking irredeemably evil here, just like, know that im aware of that.) also he detests hippies for both bad and good reasons ⸻ not much, really, hes an opportunist, a hedonist, hes selfish, goes w/ the flow. he thinks denying yourself pleasure for no reason is microfascism — not in those words — and while he doesnt think that selfishness leads to a bettering of overall society, hes no randian, he feels justified in what he does. hes uh, a mercenary in spirit and ive always intended to have him join the marines n later work for a pmc but were nowhere near there yet
what traits do they like in other people? what traits do they not like?
he likes people (men, that is) that are exactly like him. he likes Narrator bc hes just as quiet, as patient, as stubborn, as antisocial (using that the right way here, i like, know about psychology), as violent, as old-timey-ly masculine as he is. he can tolerate clade (his former accountant) bc she keeps to herself and shes loyal to a fault, but he doesnt go out of his way to like, actually talk to her. he likes will bc he reminds him of what he was like as a child living with his matabele mother. ⸻ he hates everything he perceives as weakness, but hes not all that open about that, i think hes not even 100% aware thats what it is. he needs to be talked back to. he lacks compassion, doesnt know how to deal w/ anyone whos less resilient and abrasive than himself.
do they have a significant other? if so, who?
i mean, theres Narrator — thats kinda what this whole thing is about. but theyll never think of each other that way. its complicated. theyre uh… closer to being marlow and kurtz than to being boyfriends. idk how to explain it. its bad. ⸻ hes fake-dating millah for appearances and secretly seeing jack, im not sure about the details either so im not getting into that, but hes eventually gonna meet will; ive written their first encounter like ten different ways and i still dont really know what i wanna do w/ them........ also Complicated
whats their friend group like? what role do they play (leader, mom friend, etc.)?
he lives in a hut he built w/ his bare hands on the edge of the kalahari. his friends are one horse and one vaalboskat. ⸻ he uses his friends but they use him too. hes reasonably popular bc hes athletic n wealthy, but i think the only one of his friends who really truly sees thru his act is millah, and bc he doesnt take her seriously as a threat, she has more control over him than he realizes.
do they care about their physical appearance? whats their routine like?
nah ⸻ not really. he showers too often and his hairs kinda dry but other than that hes like. Normal. idk i dont care about these things
do they have any physical or mental disabilities?
i dont think so ⸻ he has adhd
what would they die for? kill for?
oh hes not picky. he joined the military at 17, hes made peace w/ the prospect of dying. hes been more uncomfortable w/ the thought of growing old, actually. and again, hes literally a mercenary. not a big deal to him. ⸻ i dont think hes selfless enough to die for anyone. hed kill to protect the people he cares about, but thats more just bc hes possessive. im sure thats gonna come up eventually. i cant really write shit w/o weaving murder in somewhere.
do they have any magical powers or abilities? if its a realistic world, what religion do they follow?
absolutely the fuck not i hate magic. hes not religious, actually feels a little intimidated by religion. in one version of his story he spends his 50s on east nusa tenggara where he doesnt live far from a church, and he makes peace w/ the concept of god thanks to the influence of catholic-raised Narrator, but i doubt hell ever actually step foot into a church, or temple, or mosque, or what-have-you. hes internalized some things during his upbringing though that he doesnt classify as religious. little superstitions. he likes to keep objects that may be used for divination around his house, but he never touches them. ⸻ not religious, but if he had to pick, like to pretend, hed say baptist.
do they celebrate any holidays? how do they celebrate?
nah ⸻ like, the regular american ones. hell welcome any excuse to drink and to socialize, and id say his favorite holiday is the 4th of july, really just bc he likes warm weather and theres not a lot else you can celebrate in the middle of summer. hes not attached to the significance of any holidays. hes not crazy about christmas but he likes his family well enough and hell go along w/ it all, just to have sth to do. hes not good w/ time off.
if they were the protagonist in any book series, what series would they choose? alternatively: what would be their favorite book?
he doesnt really read but hed feel right at home inside heart of darkness or maybe the thin red line. or maybe sth by mccarthy ⸻ hes 16 he hasnt read jack shit. i wanna say deleuze would probably resonate w/ him bc hes a total self-insert but i really dont know. i try to keep the intertextuality way low bc i hate that shit in most fiction, so like, i try not to think too much about other books here
do they have any vices?
uh he drinks and he occasionally smokes opium but compared to most of my characters hes pretty okay wrt that ⸻ yea like… all of them. already said hes a hedonist make of that what u will
do they play any instruments?
nope ⸻ violin but he hasnt been practicing a lot lately
what would their favorite ride at an amusement park be?
hes never been to one ⸻ i feel like hed be into sth really lame… like you know that video by jenny nicholson, top ten lame things to do at disney world? sth like that. like hed go just to get a specific food item or to admire the infrastructure
what animal would they say best represents them?
hyena 100%. the spotted kind. id say tortoise also but hed find that insulting ⸻ id say hyena but hed be reluctant to answer that bc hes a Youth and he knows what a furry is
how do they act when theyre drunk?
vulnerable. little more talkative. he talks to himself (or the cat, rather) sometimes ⸻ more abrasive/tactless/impulsive. he talks w/ his whole body and feels like moving/running bc, again, self-insert
which era of history would they most like to live in?
the old west, like early to mid-19th century, maybe late 18th. that or like the really olden days, like mid-paleolithic ⸻ idk maybe like ten or twenty years earlier. i think he fits the 21st century pretty well. hes a curious person though and if he had a time machine hed go Everywhere at least once
whats their favorite food?
ah thats. complicated actually i have a whole list of foods that remind me of Narrator but ive never gotten around to making one for ira. hm. he likes poultry, like ostrich. white fish. dry/salty foods. sour fruit. breadfruit. fatty dark meats, blood sausage. hes not picky though, hell live on pap and water if he has to. ⸻ i genuinely dont know. im not used to the contemporary western setting yet like… pop tarts exist in the same world as he does and im not comfortable w/ that yet. like, branded food articles wrapped in plastic. thats so weird to me. i guess he likes (american) pizza w/ greens on it, like spinach? and seafood. sour candies, maybe, i dont think he has much of a sweet tooth. he puts salt n butter on potatoes and cottage cheese on pancakes.
what songs remind you of them?
conveniently theres a whole playlist rite here
whats their favorite season and why?
dry season. he doesnt like cloudy/foggy weather bc it makes him feel trapped when he cant see as far. ⸻ summer. i honest to god think people liking cold weather is a conspiracy like im not sure thats even biologically possible. like summer is the obvious answer here
which d&d class would they play as?
nah we dont do nerd shit round these parts
whats their favorite expletive?
he like, barely talks ⸻ nothin weird thats for sure, we campaign for simple straight-forward language in this house. having a Favorite is inherently at odds w/ that. bad question
whats their favorite candle scent?
no scented candles in the desert ⸻ sth fruity but not sweet, like mixed berries, sth red or purple
how do they feel about death?
he doesnt ⸻ hed feel cheated by life if he died young. he has a lot to see and do and itd like, bum him out not to get to do that but hes not afraid of death
do they collect anything? whats their most prized possession?
he lives pretty austerely but he does keep little rocks and gems and bones and pieces of wood n such. also coins from all the countries hes been to bc hes a simple old man. i wanna say his most prized possession is his hogs tooth bc he does value the marines a lot still. its where he first met Narrator :-) ⸻ he really appreciates gifts people give him, things that remind him of people. jack carved him an eagle once
do they play any sports?
no ⸻ nothing too organized. i dont think hes on any school teams bc idk if he has the time but that might change. he does run/hunt/fish/shoot
what one place do they really want to visit and why?
he likes deserts, wide open spaces. hes been to the kalahari n namib but not the gobi/sahara/simpson etc, so, those. no ice deserts though those scare him ⸻ polynesia/southeast asia, just tropical places in general. bc theyre nice what do you want me to tell you. tropics good
what languages do they speak?
northern ndebele, afrikaans, english (w/ various influences), some vietnamese ⸻ english, some cajun french, some spanish
what are some items they always carry? what weapon do they favor using if they exist in a world where weapons are necessary?
hes got his fal obviously and he does always carry a knife, just to be safe. more out of habit than actual necessity (not to imply rural areas were safe in the late 70s, but he lives in the literal wilderness, hes not much of a target. stays away from roads and all that.) ⸻ man hes really not as classy as i want him to be :/ he probably has like, a glock 17 w/ ten thousand pointless modifications n some uglyass stipling pattern. hes a little bit paranoid + irresponsible n carries all kinds of shit he doesnt need, mostly way too much cash
which emoji would they use the most?
no ⸻ he doesnt have a phone, hell maybe use a burner if he has to. this is an anti-phone household
what fantasy race would they be? if they already are one, pick a different one.
absolutely not
do they want to start a family? if they already have one, describe it.
no ⸻ no
what stereotypical high school clique would they fit into?
hed swing between the jrotc kids n the stoners honestly, but still mostly keep to himself ⸻ hes like, too much of a jock for the Delinquents, too much of a Delinquent for the jocks. hes really only popular bc hes rich-ish n blessed w/ good looks, and by association w/ millah
whats one thing that they dont need do they waste the most money on?
he doesnt ⸻ everything. hes really wasteful. he buys more food than he can eat, clothes he never wears, etc etc, hes terrible
what kind of shoes do they wear?
combat boots or just traditional sandals. the terrain around his house is mostly grass and flat boulders so he goes barefoot a lot ⸻ regular tennis shoes, nothin too fashionable bc he cant be bothered to keep up w/ trends, but usually clean n new. hiking boots when hes not w/ his regular friend group
do they believe in ghosts, aliens, and the occult in general?
really dont like how aliens are always grouped in w/ esoteric shit bc like, thats like asking if you believe in atoms honestly. no shit “aliens” exist thats like not up for debate. both iræ would agree w/ me here. 70s ira doesnt believe in like, Ghosts per se, but he has some vague concept of spirits that he got from his mother. he sees/feels them when hes half asleep. ⸻ 2010s ira doesnt believe in jack shit
which deadly sin do they most correspond to? which heavenly virtue?
nooo cardinal sins dont work that way theyre not hogwarts houses. its so much more complicated than that thats impossible
if you had to choose one tarot card to represent them, what would it be?
hmmm four of swords? knight of coins? eight of cups? this is hard ⸻ seven of swords? nine of cups? the devil? i dont know
what do they consider to be their best quality? what actually is their best quality?
his strength, which is really just his callousness and lack of convictions. and uh. i guess his independence ⸻ same here for the first part. and. maybe his loyalty? i dont consider loyalty a good thing personally idk
what do they consider to be their worst quality? what actually is their worst quality?
his lack of social skills maybe? he doesnt need them too often of course but like, the first time Narrator showed up at his doorstep he was genuinely nervous and that did fill him w/ some semblance of shame and in his eyes he should be good at everything, so like. that. really its his lack of conviction and his timidness/avoidance of the world ⸻ his dependence on others/lack of discipline. really its his lack of compassion, like, obviously
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archived--hell · 6 years
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1, 2, 17, honestly all of them if you’re up to it
1 - already answered 
2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?
L O R D T jupiter fuck man got damn id die for jupiter 
3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?
i have adopted characters before, but ive never done anything with them, and i have received characters Back from people but besides that nah
4. A character you rarely talk about?
HI PLEASE I BEG OF YOU ASK ABOUT THE GODS PLE AS E IM DYING
5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?
fuck uh.. honestly if its only semi popular would i do this bc being Well Known would be nice, yeah, but.. it scares me? idk but uh probably leo or aero, theyre two boys i hold close to my heart
6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?
:) eldur and leo kinda? idk i try not to make any of them look alike rip
7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?
YES! theyre actually all part of one universe called cooking with demons! i have a whole game planned out for the man cast kinda? but all in all its all set within one universe, with multiple different stories occurring within it jhfdksg
8 - already answered
9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?
unless specfifically made for them upon request, no. ive already tried that once and it lead to me losing any and all control i had over my characters. At this moment, i only “share” a few ocs with my boyfriend @coffee-burglar and even then, its taken almost a year to even be able to do that
10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?
uh, all of them are kinda complicated for me, but as of right now, that would go to leos full form. (if u want a ref hmu and ill post it, but it wont be my art)
11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?
like a ray of sunshine? yeah! angel and stitch would fit perfectly for that!
12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot
@coffee-burglar their oc chrome n koh,  or derek but thats bc im a hoe
13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?
aero, jhor, innis, leo are all trouble makers to some degree, leo being the most trouble some
14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory
uhhhh fuck what counts as tragic?
i guess id have to say leo or jupiter mostly, but eldur fits too
15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?
if youd let me i would yell about these fucks for hours on end, ive done it
16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?
the best but wouldnt enjoy it: Jupiterthe best and would absolutely enjoy it: colby
17. Any OC OTPs?
stitch/lavaaero/kohcolby/derek/inniswill/happiness aeyr/Eberictderek/Xhaztolleo/eldur
18. Any OC crackships?
jhfkdfsjghdfkjhgdkfjsgl i never talk abt it but will/aero is fucking A+
19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)
ah,, leo. i originally made him to project the worst in myself onto, and because of that ive made his life a living shit hole. but,, recently ive been hell bent on giving him a good ending, one where he heals, and lives his life ok, where he finally, finally has a chance to be happy and get help. its,, kind of been a tiny growing point for me? he just, means a lot to me because of that haha
20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?
uhhh all of their voice claims are songs n such but only a few of them actually sing in canon! heres the voice claims of the ones who do sing:
Aero - thats his voice, but hed probably more likely to sing Something Like ThisAngelStitch - this is her voice! but shed be much more likely to sing something a lot more upbeat, kind of like thisColby (its jeremy from bmc jghfdkg)
and one i dont have a voice claim for yet that does sing canonically is Sycamore! 
21. Your most artistic OC
!!!! oh thatd easily be will! hes nothing professional at all, but he does enjoy drawing and making diy type projects :0c hazels also artistic but with food :0c but what would you expect from a kitchen witch
22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?
Hi My Names Skinny Penis And No One Has Ever Even Looked At My Ocs For More Than Two Seconds
23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?
lordt all of them would fit that, but the one thats changed the most? lordy thatd probably be will! he used to be a persona that was mostly only interested in dying and getting fucked, but now hes? evolved into a fully fledged character, and has even changed from being human lmao
24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?
jupiter, simply because he is The Biggest Comfort i have. hes,,, really important to me and i love him a lot
25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)
:) its bold of you to assume they dont all resemble me in some way. the most though? damian. lazy motherfucker with 200 emotional issues and no motivation to fix any of them
26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?
…yeah.
27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?
Nope, most tend to be born from ideas spawned by me n my bf concepting about my ocs, and what would happen if this thing happened? yknow?
28. Your most dangerous OC?
He has yet to be revealed >:)c his names icarus
29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?
INNIS, GOD INNIS WOULD AND HED PROBABLY DIE
30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?
secret: damiannot so secret: colby
31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)
uHHhhHh 
damian would probably have a very shitty coded blog theme (or default) and would genuinely only reblog shitty, abstract memes, and nice food recipes for hazel to make him
32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?
protagonist? if youre going for the scared baby, colby. if ur going for the stoic “thats weird but ok” one, innis or aero.antagonist tho???? Leo and angelica :)
33. Your shyest OC?
uh, a oc thats genuinely shy and not just anxiety filled? angel :0c shes had a very limited interaction pool with anything thats not other angels so she tends to shy away from others bc she really, really doesnt want to get into awkward situations
34. Do you have any twin characters?
Jupiter and leo!
35. Any sibling characters?
Jupiter, leo, angelica, damian, eldur
jupiter, leo, damian, and angelica are all related via their dad, while eldur is related to damian via their mom
36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?
uhh if im understanding this question right yeah i do! derek, koh, n a lot of others belong to @coffee-burglar ! ive just roped them into my universe dkjfhkdjgh
37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human
Op All Of My Characters Are Inhuman
38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?
surprisingly? aero! hes got really good rhythm and can actually dance really well, its kinda scary
39. Introduce any character you want
:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Ill let yall have a choice, pick one
1.) Lust2.) Greed
40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!
fond?? uh,, not really. but damian does have a very important memory attached to him.
tw for suicide ment hjgkdfs
with damian, i created him after i tried to kill myself and was stuck in a mental hospital. i had just finished reaing the first shadowhunters book, and decided to try and draw the first demon(???? was that what he was?? im a dumbass and its been over 2 years) you met, which had bright blue hair and if i remember correctly, electric green eyes? but yeah. i made him to cope with all the mental stress i had while being forced to be in that hospital, and hes become very close to my heart because of that
41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)
!!!!!!!!! yeah!!! my boyfriends drawn damian and most of my characters bgjkfdhgkfdsgl but one i do hold close to my heart (bc at the time, i barely knew them) was when @stuck-in-the-ghost-zone drew aeyr! it made me really happy tbh. i still have it saved to my phone actually!!!
42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?
uhhhh,,, provided that they found a way to get anything involving earth and their beliefs itd probably be either angel or colby. angel enjoys learning anything and everything she can, while colby enjoys hearing about the Tea™ that comes with greek shit
43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess
lordt ok
i really just? enjoy making demons really, or anything that doesnt quite fit “conveniently attractive” in at least one form they have. (i also favor making guys bc im Gay)
44. Something you like about your OCs in general
how well theyre coming together, for so long, their stories have been little fractures and pieces that never fit together. Fragments. but now, theyre almost fully put together and its… wonderful to see
45. A character you no longer use?
a hi have.. one. their name was angel aura, a steven universe oc. i got rid of them because of too many.. bad things.
46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?
not directly, but yes. it.. actually helped me give a lot of them a ok life, or at least a good ending
47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?
@coffee-burglar eldur, colby, will n a few others lmao
48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure
ELDUR GOD ELDUR PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE THIS KID BACK TO HIS MOM
49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes
damian
50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want
ghjkfgkfdhgklfjhglkjdfhgslfjdgh give me a actual thing to talk about bc im dying op
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mercenarypark · 6 years
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mxn-yoongi · 7 years
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BTS as Kingsman (Seokjin)
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-Literally a whole dad. Like super supportive of new trainees and then always becomes a mentor to the newest member. Hes kinda good at judging people
-Its gotten to the point where whenever they have a new batch of trainess he can basically guess whos in and whos going to be out. AND HES NEVER WRONG
-Like ‘ that one is too confident i think he’ll be out when we toss him out of a plane and make him work with the others. Next’
-‘That one just busted DOWN A DOOR WITH HIS SHOULDER FUCK YEAH KID YOURE IN’ (good job lancelot!!)
-Codename: Galahad
-Jin really likes being more of a tech guy instead of being in the field.
-Like yeah i can hack into the any security system and delete anything theyve got or obtain top secret government files without being detected on their system but dont ask me to punch a guy in his throat
-Like i will if i HAVE TO but ask lancelot first he’ll punch anyones throat so leave me here
-So basically one day arthur is like ‘hey galahad we kinda need you to hack into the United States Governments files’ and jin just
-‘Okay sure’
-So jin gets to it and hes typing at the speed of light and there are a bunch of numbers and letters on the screen and jins just chilling because of course hes got this in the bag hes done this like a hundred times
-And he finally pushes enter (dramatically might i add) because that always gets him right in and he turns in his swivel chair and hes like ‘what do you need arthur’
-But arthur is like ‘umm bro’ and hes pointing at the computer and jin turns around and HIS EYES ALMOST POP OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS
-He! Has! Been! Detected! And! Blocked! Out! Of! The! Archives! And! Databases!
-How did this happen@@@@@@@
-Jin just kind of gets this determined look in his face and suddenly hes typing faster than before (if thats even possible)
-‘Galahad whats going on?’
-‘Something is keeping me out but that should be impossible because...because...well just because i know what im doing and they shouldnt be able to trace anything back to me and what is going on’
-Jin is like working overtime on his computer like how does he type that fast how is he even reading the things that come up on screen if they disappear in .2 seconds what is this
-‘Okay okay no need to panic its probably just like a firewall or something’
-Jin stops everything and glares at arthur
-‘Are you kidding me? You think of all things a measly firewall will stop me. This sint a firewall.Its not even some bot system either because its too slow. This is like human speed blocking.’
-Suddenly jins screen goes completely black.
-Both men are confused bc umm whats going on
-A loading bar appears at the top of the screen and suddenly some kind of I.M. window pops up.
-Jin tries to click the x in the top right corner to close the window but nothing happens.
-Instead in the bottom left corner there are three dots and the words
-‘Y/N’ is typing…’
-The message that pops up leaves jin red in the face
-‘Is someone being a bad boy?’
-Arthur is laughing because ‘did your computer really get some kind of freaky virus from waching porn’
-‘I DONT DO THAT ON THIS ONE’
-‘I really need you…’
-Jin frantically pushes the x but it still doesnt work
-‘TO STOP TRYING TO HACK THE US GOVERNMENT’
-Both arthur and galahad stop what theyre doing umm this is a little too real
-‘Are you going to respond?’
-‘I know youre reading these’
-‘I can see you right now’
-There is literally no way you can see them because theyre in hq which is a mansion in the middle of nowhere
-Another window pops up on the screen and its jin like in real time and he realizes its the image from the camera on his computer and oh my gosh someone is hacking into the hackers computer what the heck
-‘This is a warning. Don’t try to hack the government again because I will find you. Have fun.’
-The screen goes black again and when it light up lo and behold its on A PORN SITE lol arthur is dying in the background bc galahad just got out hacked.
-Jin is still shocked by the fact that someone was capable of doing this to him. Like there is someone out there that can really get into their system despite jin taking every precaution and making it nearly impossible to hack
-Jin shuts off his computer and just kinda flops onto the ground because what the heck
-2 WEEKS LATER LETS TRY THIS AGAIN GALAHAD
-Sure enough  jin still cant get into the database and the I.M. window pops up again
-‘I literally warned you’
-Jin kinda hesitates a little because should he respond or...
-‘How did you know it was the same person’
-‘I told you. I can see you’
-‘HOW’
-‘I dont hack and tell baby.’
-Jin is taken back?? Um baby? Hes no baby. Hes not your baby. Is he your baby?!?!?! Mom???????
-This goes on for like a while. Like jin tries to get into the files but hes always stopped by you and then you guys have  a lil conversation and jin starts trying to hack more often just becuase…
-He wants to talk to you a little bit?
-Like he genuinely begins to worry about himself because does he like someone thats preventing him from doing his job? Have you become a part of his daily routine? Can he separate himself from you?? Its like a criminal falling in love with a cop basically.
-You also let your guard down a little bit like he already knows your name and birthday and about your dog. You dont tell anyone about your dog. Bc hes yours. Your! Dog! But this guy trying to hack into the US government knows about him what have you done.
-You decide its time for a break from this whole hacker blocking thing so you tell your boss and he assigns someone else to this case.
-Yeah its a case.
-The gov. has been trying to figure out who is getting into their files and you were put in charge but clearly its proving more difficult than you thought bc you have grown attached and if he gets caughts then you wont be able to talk to him anymore
-Youve figured out for the most part where he is located but you havent reported it to your boss because...because you cant…
-So now theyve got someone else trying to figure out what you already know
-The day you decide to take your break jin also decided he wants to talk to you and there he goes trying to hack again. He pushes anter and waits for the screen to go black like it has for the last few weeks.
-But it doesnt??
-Hes suddenly in the governments files…?
-Jin is kind of of worried like umm where is Y/N and why didnt she stop me from doing this.
-So jin has no idea what to do now because for the next week he keeps getting into the files and its like you disappeared from the internet and all of a sudden he gets an idea
-Like hes got these government files so if you work for the government they must have some information on you right???
-He searches your first name and a few different people pop up then he narrows it down to one by looking at the birthday and there you are in all your glory.
A picture of you that makes jin’s heart skip a few beats followed by 
Name: L/N, F/N 
Age: 24
Department: Cybersecurity 
and right there...your address…
-Seokjin swallows hard before he scribbles the address down on a piece of paper.
-Hes out of his chair before he knows it and nobody has time to question him when he says hes going out into the field to gain some valuable information
-AND THATS HOW HE ENDS UP on an airplane to your location at 9 pm.
-One five hour flight and a one hour taxi drive later jin is standing outside what he assumes is your house at 3 in the morning
-He hesitantly knocks on the door and waits.
-You are woken up from your good night of sleep by a knock on the door and when you look at the time youre like umm who is here at 3 am and why, oh wait you think you know why
-You shuffle downstairs slowly
-You swallow hard and open the door. The person you see on the other side doesnt startle you bc oh my gosh this is the hacker man ive possible fallen in love with even though technically im supposed to be throwing him in jail oh my gosh
-And you deliberately let him find out your location in hopes that he’d show up but you didnt think he’d be here so soon
-Maybe this was a bad idea
-OH GOD HES HOTTER IN REAL LIFE. TRUE WORLDWIDE HANDSOME.
-Your mind is nearly blank but somehow you manage to play it cool
-‘I wasn’t expecting you so soon’
-Jin is ??????? you were expecting him???
-‘I didnt think you’d let your guard down long enough that i would figure out your address.’ jin plays it off cool with a little smirk that makes you want to pounce on him
-‘Oh baby...its so cute you think you could have actually found me.’
-Jin raises an eyebrow in confusion
-‘Don’t try to fool yourself. I let you find me.’ the way your bottom lip juts out slightly is enough to make jin lose it
-he is impossibly entranced by you bc not only can you out hack him but you also outsmart him and out-hot(?) him and everything in between.
-He literally cannot hold himself back he just kinda goes for it like a full on dizzying, heated, passionate, swollen lips and flushed faces type of kiss.
-And that is how you managed to get yourself a kingsman boyfriend.
A/N: Sorry if this one is a little bad its just kind of what comes out of my mind. 
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darrycurtises · 7 years
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hey fam, do all of the aesthetic asks
thanks sun goddess ily
Flower Crown: when did you last sing to yourself
yesterday bc i always sing in the car, i think it was me putting “starman” “here comes the sun” and “ticket to the moon” on repeat the whole way home
Fairy Lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?
i’d like to know what the world will be like in like a century bc i worry about the world i hope she’ll be ok
Daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life
well i’m a seventeen yr old and not even one of the cool ones that compete in the olympics so its either like UH starting college @ 16 or being published in an official writing anthology
1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to your mind, recent or otherwise?
last year when i went to busch gardens w my sister n my mom and i got to hold a penguin named Turkey ON MY LAP i have pictures to document this (i was chubbier back then tho no judgment)
Matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you’re now living?
yeah i wouldn’t be fucking living in florida and going to school id be using whatever money i could to travel overseas, and then i’d go on a big crosscountry roadtrip 
Black Nail Polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?
not an official one, just vague “i’d like to do x someday” things
Moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?
yes absolutely
Stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?
last week i went to a funeral and i cried so much they got a picture w me sobbing in the background
Plants: pick a person to stargaze with you, and explain why you picked them
my best friend tomas probably because he’s the only person who wouldnt make fun of me for stargazing
Converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?
BITVH NO LMAO I DONT EVEN TALK TO MY FRIENDS !!
Lace: when was your last three am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?
again, tomas, my best friend. about 4 days ago?
Handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one more person, what would you say and to whom?
oh man i dont even know
Cactus: opinion on brown eyes?
i have them and i love them. got my brown eyed angels all over the place. i know like three people w not-brown eyes 
Sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally
Oil Paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?
[Redacted]
Overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?
id get new cars for my sister and mom bc theirs are v old like ten minutes to start and cough like a smoker old, and id pay my mom’s house off, pay off my sister’s student loans, deposit a lot to my grandma who’s living in an expensive nursing home, donate 2 houston, put away more for my college, lots of stuff
Combat Boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?
Yes and yes
Winged Eyeliner: write a hundred letter word to your twelve year old self
I don’t need 100 words I just need to tell her to shut up, stop eating so much, try being friends w the girls you don’t like, they were actually nice, you’re not as funny as you think you are save your words for later and think before you speak. Also, thanks for attaching our self worth to our school performance, this isn’t sarcastic, its turning out really well for scholarships
Pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?
Leaning more towards pastel, but honestly the most accurate thing would be primary colors/
Tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.
I like them but not on me
Piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?
I usually do a quick face for school, but if im in the mood then I like to do the most just because im a teenager and im living in a time of really weird fashion and this is the only time in my life where I’ll be ballsy enough and free enough to buy and wear green eyeshadow. You think that’ll fly when im 30 w a 9-5 job? I think not. Lemme get it outta my system now, while I have ~~~being a teenager~~~ to blame it on
Bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.
This is gonna sound really depressing but I don’t believe in love bc of the avett brothers song “January wedding. He was so in love with her when he wrote it and for years I was like “this is love theyre so in love” and then bam we get the true sadness album and January wedding gets followed by “divorce separation blues.” Who can be that in love with someone and then just. Stop. I don’t get it, love isn’t real.
Messy Bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.
This is too much pressure
Cry Baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.
Ive seen the avett brothers 3 times and they were amazing every single time, just wowowow I got the “fuck it,  im standing up and singing” mood. Ive also seen boston and foreigner, which were also fun, but mostly bc of the 50 yr old stoners in the crowds.
Grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?
My papa, and I’d like it to say [classified] and maybe I’d like him to say [redacted].
Space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?
I have a permanent set up at the kitchen table from august thru may, and its perpetually in disarry.
White Bed Sheets: what is your night time routine?
Face mask, hair care, moisturizer, vanilla tea, set up the coffee maker for the next morning, pack my book bag, pray, bed.
Old Books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?
I’d like my mom not to know that she’s kind of annoying to watch movies w (it’d break her heart shes so sensitive aw) and id like my dad not to know where I live
Beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?
I have dyed my hair I went red for a bit but now its brown. Id never do anything that require I bleach it bc I love myself and wont do that to my head
Eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?
Id take my mom, sister, my friends [classified], [classified], and [classified] to new york w me so we can do horrible cheesy touristy stuff, and then I’d have them go w me on a cross country roadtrip
11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.
If I tell u my wish it wont come true
Painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.
Its gonna be this year’s ive already perfected the make up im gonna be a mime and its amazing
Lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?
Literally nothing ive never gotten high bc it seems uhhh not fun, but ive gotten a lil drunk before (I don’t like to drink bc it makes my head hurt and it’s a lot of calories) but I get sad id be a sad drunk so I just cried.
Thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?
Anything thatd harm a person/animal. Never kill, never maim. If u handed me a gun and said “shoot a deer ill give you a million dollars” I couldn’t do it. If I had to break someones arm for a million dollars I couldn’t do it.
Storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?
Song, bc I love people, ill just listen to a podcast while I run I guess
Love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realize you’re in love.
Not really, only a little bit of an “I’d like to love them” sort of thing
Clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?
Im a girl and id never rock short hair bc I don’t have the jaw for it, and I like my long hair to make my jaw look sharper
Coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?
I just get iced black tea bc starbucks coffee is ass, and id trust my mom. Not my sister or my friends bc theyd get me sugar in my tea instead of unsweet w honey
Marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?
The things my life has revolved around for years lmao my loved ones and school
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chikotos · 7 years
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speaking of That my mom is finally recognizing that when I say “i dont feel good” it doesnt mean i have a cold or sth its that Uh, im probably experiencing suicidal thoughts and cant express it well (or at least smth along those lines) and my house has been dirty cuz i havent cleaned in a while or i cant keep it clean and she n my sister cleaned an area and i repeatedly told her not to bc shes always using my sister to do things im not adequate enough to do on time and its rlly not fair to her even if she doesnt realize it cuz like shes only 12 & we dont ever even talk so she shouldnt have to take care of someone 5 years older than her.. and i was gonna clean but I basically slept all day so i could just clean alone at night when I feel safe to walk around the house . i wasnt even tired idk why i slept but now im eerily awake and maybe will be umless i force myself to sleep
its so lonely here and thats only hit me like this year cuz all the time before I would go through periods of hanging out after school maybe.. twice a year? and only hanging out with one person whod have many friends but theyd b my only friend which is a problem i tend to have. but it jst got to the point where im realizing, i think cuz i was in my schools drama program n exposed to lots of friendships, that im jst like ,really fucking lonely. Which is unfortunate because ive always been such an internal person at home and have been able to work creatively but thats all like leaving me? art doesnt make me happy anymore because i dislike my art so much and havent had a platform to share it in so long and i guess I thrive on other ppls opinions of it? and I definitely cant write anymore. I havent been able to zone in on an interest in MONTHS and thats left me creatively drained, a lot. 
I think im starting to rlly, RLLY redirect my complete attention from interests to ppl (which always ends well am i right lads) and it isnt fair to ppl who like, have others and need space and time etc or Uh, dont even know me. but its like a switch like , I can either be creative or i can feel loved and Boy Howdy, do i need both,
its just weird cuz im the only one in my family thats emoitonal like this and I think thats why i feel so isolated. like im not exxagerating when I say my dad has 0 friends tht arent family. my mom has work friends she will hang out with maybe 4 times a year not for work, but shes always complaining abt social situations which I can understand. maybe my siblings r like that too but my sisters young n focuses on minecraft n stuff n hangs out w friends more than me n we barely know each other so its not like id know, maybe my half brother is but whens the last time hes wanted to talk to me right. like i cry all the time and all it does is make my dad angry at memfor being incompetent and make my mom think its her fault and my sister confused and jst takes up everyones time
and its jst all v strange. like i was kinda raised 2 not have friends, inadvertantly i guess. i can remember my mom trying to make me feel better about something along the lines of u can b okay w/out friends if u have family but she jst told me friends dont matter and im never gonna talk to ppl i meet at my age as an adult, so it stuck w/ me and i started to make moral judgements on ppl on small things we could talk out like say, they use homophobic language sometimes but im sure theyd respect me enough to stop, but id make those judgements before we could befriend each other n take a chance, kinda to protect myself from attachments? but later in life ive found ppl who dont do stuff like that, and thats when i focus in on them im an unfair way to them and they r the only person/group of ppl in my life, etc etc and idk how to stop because im so scared of hanging out w/ most ppl alone i guess? but ill still be here, thinking about like example (namedrop bc he doesnt have me tumblr anyways) my friend jacob tht never hung out w/ me outside of school but i fuccin loved that kid n he just stopped talking to me over the summer n ignored my text i send first day of summer and now we see each other and talk briefly but its like he wont let us be friends anymore and smth like this always happens and its So
and tbh how can i expect it to not happen when i limit myself so much n they will have plenty of other close close friends when i dont? and i think ive gotten better but idk anymore. 
and uh, unrelated. I think my dog ive had for 12 years may have to end up being put down this year. hes got cataracts in both eyes and skin diseases and back problems and teeth problems (hes inbred) and hes losing his hearing too and for the past two weeks hes been peeing everywhere and we can let him out but he cant climb stairs anymore n he has to walk them to get to our yard and im the only one w/ the patience to pick him up (hes only 8 pounds) n put him in the yard bc my parents will jst scream at him n my sister doesnt like dogs and hes got seperation issues w me and whines when he cant be in my room which is the farthest from the door out n stuff. and its like rlly stressful my mom will scream at him in front of my sister n brother n me and the other day she said my dad grabbed him by the neck and threw him out on the concrete cuz he peed inside and hes so tiny that thats just gonna make everyting worse and its notmlike i can stop them bc why would anyone listen to me and hed prob b fine for s few more years if he lived in a patient house with ppl who would take him to the vet but theyre prob gonna put him down early snd its gonna b so weird w/out him
when i showered earlier i took s razor with me w/ the intent to cut my thighs, and i did a little, but i never ever draw blood wnd its strange. why am i given these urges when im so fucking terrified of blood. itll still leave marks n stuff but it makes me feel weak ? n ill bruise myself up instead but its never the same. and im such an advocate for help w self harm but i cant for myself. its like i subconsciously want 2 get caught ? idk. i did throw my razor away though and the others i have r rusty and im not THAT much of a dumbass so i dont have options to self harm anymore unless i get new ones. lifehack
and uh lol, having no schedule n it being summer my eating habits r SHIT. it always hurts to eat p much, its at different times n most of the time i just snck only or i dont eat for hours n see black spots n stuff. and when i dont eat its not a body image thing (im nt rlly happy w my nody but its not sth not eating will help with) its cuz i dknt wanna go upstairs for food where my dad is n the snacks r downstairs so its easier, or cuz i forget or cuz i like, want to punish myself? but im too lazy to self harm. its weird
n since ive stopped id’ing as ace officially my internalized lesbophobia has gotten so much worse . im so repressed and lost ans sad, nothinng rly makes sense? I either fall in love w/ anyone who flirts with me or i focus on someone who ill never fucking talk to or see again and imagine countless scenarios n set myself up to b sad. i seek validation from ppl on it but nothhing comes out right or i just cant say it, because other than when i make myself the butt of gay jokes i just cant sven get the words out of my throat that im gay cuz im jst so ashamed and disgusted with myself. ive been looking at pictures of guys lately cuz ive been trying to force myself to like them. back when i thought i was pan it always felt safer bc i could always just love a cis guy or whatever and everything would b okay for my family ykno. and its such a shameful thing for me bc my irl friends who im out to, most see me as v confident abt it at least a little bc im loud abt it u kno, and make all sorts of jokes, and i jst know so many would b surprised or like sad abt that
i want to stop liking girls so much. like holy shit. i have so many straight girl friends and i hate it when they flirt with me because lik, none r my type so i feel nothing but then i feel like i shiuld then feel like No i shouldnt then feel like i shouldnt even be around them bc im a gross disgusting creepo dyke predator. n they always use the excuse of me having a gf so its fine id never hit on them well like, now im single so i have to be DOUBLE careful not to b affectionate w them as im w all my friends and itsssssssssssssmjshfjhdjfhsjdhjshdjshdjhsjdhsjhdjshdk
and i like, think abt this girl alot n yea its romantic even thomwe never fucking talked n rlly i do that w lots of girls and its making me lose out on friendships bc i wanna b their friends somehow bc i think theyre very cool n stuff but i cant stop hodling on to stupid daydreams n idealizations i get to distract me when im sad n its jst stupid like i know its dumb but guess whos boutta keeeeeeppppp doin it??!!!!! boy!!!
and i try so damn hard to talk feeling out, n talk abt who im attracted to n stuff w ppl, n i try so hard to gush but i cant cuz smth comes outta my mouth and then i cant speak past that and no one ends up rlly knowing how i feel, bc ANY time i talk abt anytingngay related abt me its what happens. and i listen to others talking abt tht stuff and i jsut get so god damn JEALOUS bc idk how to express myself 
all these inadequacies n shit is making it rlly hard to see how,im gonna b on my own n its always been like this. at TWELVE YEARS OLD i came to fhe fucking conclusion that i was just gonna kill myself when i turned 18 so i didnt have to deal with all this and i was OKAY WITH IT and i just went through life knowing that and hiding it and so rarely questioning my inevitable suicide as a childc so instead of dealing with all that n my problems n getting better i let myself get worse cuz uh, fuck it right
idk its all just occured to me how im not a fully functioning human being, in seberal if not all aspects of my life, its weird. now that I actively want to live and realize i uh Kinda have to simce ill b the legal guardian of my brother its all very scary
sorr i was all over the place and all the typos i didnt mean anyof them n im not crytyping like, i cried a bit but i jst hate typing kn thsi shitty tablet keyboard, n dont wanna spellcheck. if u read through comgratulations also please dont message me abt like the self harm junk n my dog n stuff like, whatever ur abt to say. I Know my guy 
time to go uhhhhhhhhhhh daydream about impossible gay shit with guilt in the back of my mind
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