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k-s-morgan · 4 years ago

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As someone who greatly appreciates your writing, I just have a few questions to ask. Your work always seems to have very complex plot points and holds a great amount of subtle foreshadowing. The execution and tying together of these narrative arcs imply an impressive amount of foresight so I can't even imagine how much planning it would require. Which is exactly my first question: how much of these storyline do you plan in advance? The way you write makes it seem like you have everything laid out in your head. Each arc seems to have a specific purpose in perpetuating the protagonists' development and no major plot point seems spontaneous or poorly planned.

When I ask these questions, I'm thinking specifically of TGSTLTH because with your original cases, each of them provide complex situations with realistic (and sufficiently unpredictable) solutions. The processes by which the cases are solved are equally believable and coherent. Even in the cases which you haven't made up - the ones from the anime - your extrapolations of them add an incredible level of depth (to the point where I can wholeheartedly say it improves them) in a way that makes it hard to believe it's not canon.

Once you've planned your chapters, how do you go about writing them? How do you perpetuate the plot points? And another thing I absolutely must ask is how do you achieve such a great dialogue-description ratio? Your chapter's are effortlessly long and extremely descriptive, but not to the point where the pacing feels slow or dragged out. The transitions between dialogue and description are seamless, and the speech always feels well placed and purposeful. Such a balance is something I've always struggled with in my writing so I'm keen to take any advice on board.

My final question is about word count. How the hell do you get it so damn long. That's the question. Forgive my laconism but the way you talk about accidentally reaching like 20k words in a chapter is literally baffling to me. I have to know how you do it •_•

Hello! First I have to say, thank you so much for your long and thoughtful asks - I'm always so happy to recieve them, reading them is a pleasure. And I have to apologize because this answer is probably going to be useless!

Honestly, I wouldn't say that I plan match. I usually just have a couple of large ideas (in the case of TGSTLTH, these are mostly milestones from the anime) and a couple of smaller ones. Everything else comes when I'm writing, and that's one of the reasons why I love doing it so much. Things slip into their places automatically - I usually call it the magic of writing. It's like my mind knows where I'm going, but I do not, and I learn it very gradually, as more and more words are typed, uncovering more pieces.

As an example: I had an idea for a made-up case a few months back, and this is how it's described in my notes: "C and S have to allow themselves to be tortured, C plans, S snaps." Beyond this outline, I have no idea what I'm going to be writing about, but I know and anticipate the moment when I start typing and the ideas start being born, shaping a picture even I don't see right now.

From character development, most things I do plan are pretty basic. For example, in one episode Sebastian is weirdly cruel to Ciel but in the next one, he's suddenly almost nice. Something had to have happened between them, so I pick a potential idea and then the details add themselves.

I do have some minimal notes that I made when re-watching the anime. For example, about the tea-set Soma is going to break (I needed a story of Sebastian trying hard to find it) and about Ciel being drunk before the case with the ghosts in the castle (since Sebastian specifically doesn't allow him to drink there). Some of my other notes include: "13 birthday queen doesn’t interact because asks about christmas in 3.02," "discussion of why 19^00 circus 3.07", "BoC champagne tower bothers Ciel with what a good idea", etc. This helps include smaller details that I might have forgotten about if I hadn't made notes.

Most of this kind of planning also comes from re-watching the anime so many times that I largely know it by heart. I do a bit a more detailed planning right before writing a chapter: I settle on a vague scenario and describe some basic parts in one sentence. Then I follow this very loose outline and watch how it becomes detailed in the process of writing. For instance, the chapters about the teachers: all I knew before I started writing was that Ciel and Sebastian would have this game. I had no idea Ciel would pretend to be blind until the very second it happened or that he would make Sebastian lose his mind by pretending he's dying. It all clicked just at the right moment, like it usually happens. This magic of writing delights me.

As for dialogue-description ratio: I think I just use my preferences as a reader here, to be honest. I write something, then I re-read it and see how it feels. Sometimes I feel I overdid it, so I remove some bits. Or on the contrary, I feel like the scene is too hollow, so I add more descriptions/emotions to it. I also know that as a reader, I prefer it when writers focus on emotions, character development, and relationships first and foremost, so I do the same in my own works, paying only minimal attention to other details. I feel like 99% of scenes have to involve relationship dynamics even when it's a case investigation, so my writing reflects this preference.

And regarding the size of the chapters: oh, it's a curse because I keep misleading my readers! I always struggled with writing something short - my characters usually like to talk or suffer too much to describe it quickly, but it's still ridiculous. I think my long chapters come from the lack of proper planning. Like I said before, I just note down some basics. For example, about the scene in the next chapter: "Sebastian goes to talk to the demons, all threatening and possessive." I know this will happen, and I imagine it'll take me around 2K to describe, but in reality, when I start, it'll probably easily grow into 5K or so. Some demon might not want to talk right from the start or the other one might make Sebastian have some realization that he'll perplex himself over. If Sebastian ends up getting to Claude, then the size of this scene will increase even more, which will affect the entire chapter!

Sorry if this isn't much of an answer - I see writing as something deeply mysterious, and I'm just happy I get to experience the pleasure of doing it!

#my fics #writing #sebaciel #black butler

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lover-of-trash-and-people · 4 years ago

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shadow and bone rewatch s1e6 while drinking mid-range scotch

I wish I have a face that is as unlined and pretty as Ben Barnes' when I'm 39

Arken you dirty dirty liar

the face Alek is making at his lies that he knows are lies firstly because he knows the art of lying so well and also because he can read people very well

okay Ivan is kind of a bad bitch with his smirk at Arken's lies

alek's eyes narrowing and his little smile when Arken says 'im an entertainer' bitch I love this show

*grabs hand, pulls up sleeve, and discovers Arken's hand is full of marks indicating successful passages through the fold* 'well, that is certainly entertaining' I love this man with all my heart

him screaming is so fucking hot, is that weird for me to say

Nina being the Darkling's spy is quite interesting

Ben giving the Darkling crazy eyes when Arken owns up to his guilt is so cool

also wtf is Arken a fool trying to negotiate with possibly the strongest man in the world

kind of loved the darkness literally eating him

also love Alina learning to use her powers better when she is alone than when she is with anyone else, wish we got to see the cut in this season as per the books, ah can't have everything I guess

the camera pan to Jesper's gun at his side, amazing

god Jessie is literally so beautiful I need to see her bring Alina to the peak of her power so bad

netflix you better renew this series to let the plot run to its completion

HOW THE FUCK DID THEY CAST THE CROWS SO PERFECTLY

INEJ FUCKING TREMBLING JUST THE TINIEST BIT AS SHE BOWS SLIGHTLY TO ALINA SGSHSBSJJSJSSJ MY TWO QUEENS

'And where is my Summoner?' my little Darklina heart ouchie I really wish you hadn't used and manipulated her like this Alek it was incredibly fucked up especially considering you actually caught feelings

'Ivan and I won't fail you' oh Fedyor my baby, my angel, you don't deserve what is coming

Helnik literally recreating Titanic lmao stop this is a joke

I too would jump off the raft if I came to consciousness to see a gorgeous woman with magical powers with her hand on my back

omg but why is ryevost so pretty though

'I know exactly how she felt. The King's soldiers treated me the same way... I'm not myself today.' why must you do this to me, why must you fuel my darklina soulmates agenda idiocy

I don't quite think I have a problem with the Zoya Darkling relationship as much as I have a problem with the line they chose to reveal it to use with.

my drink's over and I don't know if I should have another, considering that it's 7 am

the tenderness with which he looks at Zoya and takes her hand and then when he says 'I shall relax when I have Alina' makes me believe more that the man that is reduced to tears time and again in front of Alina could in fact be the master manipulator I know him to be

god I can't wait for Zoya's character arc

'I speak six languages, it's part of my job' why is Nina literally the fucking coolest

Alina blinding the oprichniki was so hot, I can't wait to see more of her power and her ruthlessness

I know I've said it before but good god is Jessie Mei Li gorgeous

HER LITTLE SMILE AMONGST ALL THE PANIC AS SOON AS SHE SEES MAL, THE AUDACITY OF THIS SHOW TO MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY

THE SCORE COMING IN AT THE RIGHT MOMENT, THEIR HANDS MEETING, HER SMILE AGAIN DHDHSBSNSNSNSNAN IM IN PAIN

REALLY?! YOU'RE GONNA GO DIRECTLY FROM MALINA TO HELNIK WITH NO CONCERN FOR MY HEART?

I simply cannot get over Calahan's accent lmao it's really funny

'im not afraid of you' he says to the insanely gorgeous girl with magic

HIM HANGING HIS HEAD IN DEFEAT TO INDICATE NINA HAS MADE VALID POINTS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I CAN'T BREATHE

'You're just a man. Like all the others.' she says and then forgets her train of thought looking at him as he strips. god I love this

not sleeping all night and then scotch is not a good idea, I think

'I promise not to ravish you' 'I hate the way you talk' her hand on his chest, his hand gripping hers, my fucking heart feels like it's about to explode

good god these shooting locations and sets are so beautiful

Alina throwing the flask at Mal and Mal going 'OI!' I fucking can't, I guess I am a

simp for childhood friends to lovers, give me more of that banter and childhood friend energy, I am thriving

wow it literally seems like they took book! Mal sl*tshaming book! Alina and made show! Alina sl*tshame show! Mal, hmm, interesting

'They would have split us up!' MAL'S LITTLE SMILE AT THIS, and the 'You wrote me letters?' Mal's nod, the Malina yearning stare, the Malina hug, 'thank you for finding me' 'always. I'll always find you.' NO MALINA YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE MADE ME ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FERAL

I understand they had to split time between my ravkan babies and the crows and that is why there were several aspects that were sort of not reflected on enough but Alina's training at the Little Palace, Alina's cut, Mal's personality, a teensy bit of backstory for the crows, maybe one lockpicking scene from my boy Kaz

random note: we have far too many idols and paintings and pictures and whatnot of Hindu deities in our house apart from the specially designed temple (we are Hindus, so maybe it's not that weird but it's a little weird)

Kaz's cane is a literal star, it's so beautiful my heart wants to explode

'Why would Heleen get the Crow Club?' *literally fucking gets up and walks aways instead of answering the fucking question* I LITERALLY CAN'T BREATHE I'M LOSING MY MIND

'I know that voice' WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO MAKE ME FIGHT FOR PLATONIC SHIPS IN FANDOMS

'We won't starve' omg get you someone who packs food for you when you go on the run together hiding from your ex who wants to capture you and use your powers as a weapon against your consent

Mal looking surprised at her summoning sunlight, Alina looking cautiously at him waiting for him to disapprove or run for the hills in fear or smth like that, 'I'm sorry it took me this long to see you... But I see you now' my dumb little shipper trash heart ouch

they really said we're gonna feed you this part asian couple as the protagonists in this show in 2021 and guess what I'm eating it's really tasty I'm very satisfied as a south asian

NINA'S LITTLE SMILE WHEN MATTHIAS WAKES UP WITH HIS ARM AROUND HER

'I can feel how much you hate sleeping next to me' 👀👀👀 BITCH SAID IMMA SPILL THE TEA AND THEN SHE DID

it's 8 am and guess what I'm getting another drink my parents have c*vid and are in govt qu*r*ntine centres there is nobody to supervise or stop me

I too say 'Why do you have to say things like that?' to my pretty crush when she flirts with me

Nina smiling at Matthias bragging about his conservative ways is my aesthetic

'No, it's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall and yet, oh, there you stand.' MY FUCKING QUEEN

Matthias laughing uncontrollably at Nina saying something which isn't even that funny is a whole ass vibe

Kaz Brekker saying 'The Black General' ooh fuck yeah

YESSSS STEP OUT OF THAT CARRIAGE ALL SEXY BLACK GENERAL

isn't alcohol supposed to like kill germs? well, the amount in my system definitely will

I love my crows so much (always but this time particularly for setting that alarm in the stolen carriage)

ooh Polina recognising Inej by the knife yesss let's go writers

this Ivan Jesper showdown is all I needed from life and yet did not know about

Ivan taking off his cloak was, um, sexier than I wanted it to be

I just realised how thirsty I am going to sound in this post

'Has no one told you that keftas are Fabrikator-made and resistant to bullets, hmm?' 'Oh, I do love a challenge' LITERALLY EVERYTHING

im sorry to be pointing out flaws in a perfect show and adaptation but the line delivery on 'You robbed me of my brother, now I'll rob you of your life' from Polina was kind of weak

'You're a-' *gets knocked out with the back of a gun* LMAO we love the hints

got excited at the prospect of kaz v. zoya until I realised they will not be letting the opportunity of kaz v. darkling pass up

my goodness is Amita Suman a splendid actress

I AM NOT KIDDING WHEN I TELL YOU I SQUEALED WHEN I SAW DARKLES EMERGE OUT OF THE SHADOWS IN FRONT OF MY BABY BOY KAZ

THERE BEING ACTUAL FEAR OR ATLEAST DOUBT ON KAZ'S FACE, THE LITTLE BACK STEPS AS

THE DARKLING WALKS TOWARDS HIM, AAAAH I CAN'T

THE DARKLING STOPPING AT KAZ SAYING 'SHE FLED ON HER OWN' AND THE HINT OF TEARS THAT WE SEE IN HIS EYES

'IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR SHE WASN'T INTERESTED IN BEING A CAPTIVE ANYMORE' YOU TELL HIM, KING

*ACTUAL FUCKING TEARS IN THE DARKLING'S EYES AS THE SHADOWS APPROACH*

NOT ME YOWLING LIKE A HYENA THAT THIS CHILD OUTSMARTED THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN EXISTENCE WITH A FAKE MAGIC TRICK

'Are you sure you added enough cloves?' literally warranting a wide ass smile from my queen Alina making my entire fucking day

for some reason, no matter how much I push it from my mind, Ben Barnes dressed up as the Darkling, dancing to 'push it' keeps coming to mind, it's absolutely ridiculous

I got somehow distracted with interviews but good things came out of that as it gave my body the time for the booze to kick in

and I would just like to say that I love Leigh for all she has given me

Alina is so fucking compassionate, I have no much love for her. I can feel her guilt and her sorrow as Mal talks of Mikhail and Dubrov

don't particularly like how the stag plotline is woven in, could have been executed better

'You're afraid you might start to like me?' *flaps furs like a bird's wings in frustration*

'I DO like you' my fucking heart you idiots

the sexual tension is so palpable and the moment is so intimate I simply cannot

OMG SHE FUCKING FELL

that moment where you think he might let her fall despite having read the books and he doesn't and he tells her his name I- <3

YOU DARE TRANSITION FROM A HELNIK SCENE TO A KANEJ SCENE YOU REALLY HAVE NO MERCY FOR MY HEART HUH

people have talked about this endlessly but Freddie's little jaw tic after he says Inej because Inej is wounded and he can't physically bring himself to help her I fucking cannot

THE MUSIC PICKING UP AS KAZ LOOKS TO THE DARKLING'S CARRIAGE I CAN'T WITH THIS SHOW ANYMORE

and now for one of my favorite scenes in television and cinematic history, David Kostyk throwing a book at Jesper Fahey without even knowing who he is merely because he opens the door of his carriage and says hello to him before getting knocked out by Kaz Brekker while trying to run away

Immediately followed by another, the scene with David Kostyk raising his finger to put forward his point in front of the Darkling and the Darkling trying to let him know he doesn't have to before obliging is one of my favourite scenes in the world

also sir please stop being devastatingly attractive in your glorious appearance with your face and your black kefta and cloak because all that comes to mind is Ayesha Erotica's Emo Boy and I'm afraid that is terribly inappropriate.

'No, you look great.' *literally looks down from embarrassment or blushing* MALINA RIGHTS?

THE LOOK ON THE DARKLING'S FACE BEFORE HE SAYS 'NO ORDINARY TRACKER, NO ORDINARY GIRL' BITCH IM OUT OF BREATH

'ORPHANS OF KERAMZIN, REUNITED.' 'ADORABLE.' HE FUCKING SNEERED IRL I FUCKING CANNOT

GOD IT'S SO GOOD

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stahlop · 5 years ago

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Romancing the Throne

@mariakov81 this is a late birthday present for you. I hope you enjoy it.

Thank you @profdanglaisstuff for being my beta!

This also fits my Trope Card Challenge for Star-Crossed Lovers

On Ao3

Summary: Princess Emma has run off with the notorious Captain Killian Jones, who also happens to be the brother of her father's deceased best friend.

Dearest Mother and Father,

I’m sure you are beside yourself at the thought that I may have been taken or kidnapped, but let me put your fears at rest. I am fine and have left of my own accord. I have fallen in love, and I’m sorry to have to break it to you this way, through a letter, but I wasn’t sure how else to do it. Especially, because I know, Father, that you will not be happy with my choice. I have listened to you and mother tell me your love story so many times and it is something I have always dreamed of. Unfortunately, simpering princes and other highly esteemed men who only have the crown on their mind just don’t make for a great love story. I deserve better than that. I deserve a man who sees me for me and not as a chess piece.

So, with that said, if you want to send a bird to contact me, I am aboard the Jolly Roger with Captain Killian Jones. I know what you’re thinking, that a pirate could never love a princess for more than her wealth. That I’m just being naive in what Killian really wants from me. But I’m not. He loves me and I love him and we want to be together. I’m sorry that I had to run away to prove it, but it was the only thing I could think of to do, what with you about to announce a betrothal to Count Baelfire without even consulting me (yes, I knew about that).

I love you both and I hope you can be happy for me having found my true love.

Love,

Your Daughter Emma

“What the hell is this?” King David bellows holding up the letter his wife handed him that morning along with some pastries for breakfast. They were enjoying a lazy day; dining in the lounge area of their suite instead of the formal dining room, when Snow dropped the letter in his lap.

“It seems our daughter,” Snow says, taking a bite of a delicious almond poppy danish, “has run off with the man she loves.” She says as though this was just an ordinary, everyday occurrence, that their daughter, the heir to the throne, would just run off with a pirate.

David stares at his wife, her black hair down around her shoulders; not a single strand of gray runs through it yet, unlike at his own temples. It almost reaches the bottom of her breasts. As the queen, she usually wears it up. It was only in these private moments at the beginning and the end of the day that he gets to see the woman he fell in love with all those years ago. She takes another bite of her breakfast, her red lips smiling slightly as they close over the sticky poppy seed paste in the pastry.

“What do you know?” David demands. Snow rolls her eyes. She knows how her husband gets when surprised by information, especially when that information is about his beloved daughter. “How did Emma end up with Liam’s brother?” His eyes reflect the hurt he still feels over Liam’s untimely, and unnecessary, death.

David and Liam were friends before he and Snow met. Before Killian was even born. David’s mother, Ruth, often traded lamb and mutton for fish with Liam’s father, Brennan. When Liam’s mother died while giving birth to Killian, Ruth took the boys in for a while until Brennan could get back on his feet. Having been an only child for his first 14 years (not knowing about his twin brother, James, until a few years later), having an eight-year-old and a newborn underfoot was quite a transition. But they made it work. When Brennan finally settled down in their village, having finally given himself time to grieve for his late wife, David and Liam were thick as thieves, despite their six year age difference.

It was only two years later, at the age of 19, that David was contacted by King George to pretend to be James, who had died tragically, and David was set on his path to meet Snow and eventually become king.

After they stopped Snow’s evil stepmother from trying to take over the kingdom (the woman was convinced that Snow had ruined her life by scaring off her true love and had actually made her eat an apple laced with a sleeping potion; luckily, he and Snow shared True Love, and his kiss defeated not only the sleeping curse, but stripped her stepmother of all powers she had required, don’t ask him how that worked), David went to Brennan to invite his family to come live at their castle. Brennan was grateful and Liam and Killian were ecstatic, though, Brennan refused to accept ‘charity’ and left to continue selling fish and other seaside wares, while David had the boys tutored now that they were fifteen and seven. And while they missed their father, they knew they were being given the opportunity of a lifetime.

Meanwhile, Snow had fallen pregnant quickly after their official nuptials, and the next few years were focused on raising his daughter and getting the kingdoms back in order (they absorbed King George’s kingdom into Snow’s once they were married and George died).

Liam and Killian relished their lessons, they took up sword fighting, learned to ride horses, and Snow even insisted on making sure they could dance properly for the balls that she threw. At the first dance she was allowed to attend, five-year-old Emma made thirteen-year-old Killian dance with her, Liam and David laughing the whole time at Killian’s ears turning bright red.

Once they were old enough, they joined the kingdom’s navy. David had never been a prouder king and friend than when he finally got to promote Liam to Captain and Killian to Lieutenant. And he never thought lending out his two top officers to a neighboring kingdom for an exchange program meant to foster unity would result in the tragic loss of Liam’s life.

Killian came and told him himself. David barely recognized him. He looked much older than his 20 years, which was ridiculous because when he’d seen him right before they’d left on the mission he’d thought he’d looked so young still. Now there was a hardened man in front of him, grieving over his brother. The king had sent them on, what was supposed to be, a very simple mission to retrieve a supposed healing plant. Except the Dreamshade was actually a poison, and it killed Liam. With tears in his eyes, Killian continued to tell David how he had turned pirate in retaliation, and while he would never attack any ships in the kingdom he had once called home, he couldn’t guarantee safety for any other kingdom, especially the one that killed his brother. And while he knew becoming a pirate made him a wanted man, would David find it in his heart to look the other way as he went after the king of that neighboring kingdom?

While he didn’t agree to his plan to kill the king, David didn’t disagree with him either. And between Snow’s perfectly placed pieces of gossip and Captain Killian Jones’ attacks from the newly christened Jolly Roger the king was ousted and then mysteriously disappeared. Killian sometimes came by the castle to see David and have some connection to Liam again. Eventually, Captain Killian Jones' reputation became too great for King David to associate with, and it was with great sadness that they had to part ways. But Killian was still too angry to do something as respectable as working for a kingdom, and David couldn’t cavort with a pirate, regardless of their history.

And now, here he was with a letter in his hand stating that his daughter had apparently been cavorting with a pirate right underneath his nose.

“Explain!” David demands. Snow huffs and drops the pastry onto her plate and thoroughly wipes her hands on the napkin placed in her lap.

“They met two years ago, at Emma’s 18th birthday ball.” Snow says matter-of-factly.

“Two years ago?” David sputters. How can his daughter and his best friend’s brother have been together for two years and he not know about it?

“It was the Masquerade Ball. It was the perfect way for him to come in disguise without anyone recognizing him. And apparently it worked, because you didn’t even know he was there,” Snow says chuckling a little at this. David is not amused.

“Why was he at the ball in the first place?” David says, exasperated at the way Snow is dragging out this story.

“I invited him, of course.” She takes a sip of her tea as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. David stares at her as she sets her tea cup down and starts smoothing her night garment down under her robes.

“What is happening here?” he yells. “Snow, I need you to explain why my daughter, the princess, heir to the throne, has run off with the most feared pirate, Captain Killian Jones, and why you willingly invited him to a ball? How did you even contact him?” David thinks he now knows what going crazy must feel like. He thought Emma fleeing in the night with a pirate was bad enough, but Snow is in on this as well?

Snow gives a little huff as she pushes away from the breakfast table. She walks into her dressing room and sits at her vanity and starts to brush out her hair.

“Snow!” David says, incensed, and stomps in to join her.

Snow turns to him, brush in hand, “David!” she says in the exact same tone. He holds her gaze until she finally breaks. David knows Snow can’t keep a secret, although it seems she’s been holding onto this one for quite some time.

“Fine.” Snow huffs again and turns back toward the mirrored glass refusing to look directly at David, but does meet his eyes through the mirror. “I invited him because I knew you missed him, and Liam. I thought you could use your friend again. He keeps port in Arendelle during the colder months, according to Elsa, so I sent a bird with the invite, and he happened to be there. That’s why I wanted it to be a masquerade ball, so he could come in undetected and you two could resume your friendship. And also, because I’d heard through the grapevine that he hadn’t really ‘pirated’ in awhile.”

“But I never saw him.” David says, stating the obvious.

“No, he ran into Emma instead. Do you really not remember her dancing with the same man almost the entire ball? I even commented on it once or twice.” David tries to remember the ball. Snow throws many balls throughout the year and they tend to all blend together. But he does remember how beautiful Emma looked in her red ball gown, her hair up in a loose bun, and a tiara topping it all off. She’d not been happy about the tiara, she was very much his daughter, always wanting to sword fight and horseback ride as opposed to learning how to host dinner parties and plan balls with her mother. He vaguely recalls wondering who the stranger she was dancing with was, and thinking he looked familiar (but impossible to tell with a mask on), before being whisked away by Lancelot about some problem at the gates.

“And what? They fell in love at first sight?” David asks, still not believing this whole situation has been happening right under his nose. Snow starts to giggle at that.

“Oh, no, once she found out that he was not only a pirate but the boy who had grown up in the castle when she was younger, she completely rebuffed him. She practically had a tantrum at the end of the ball, although, out in a secluded hall where they had privacy.” Snow says smiling and knowing what her husband is going to say next.

“She was in a secluded hall with him?” David says, raising his voice again.

“Don’t worry,” a voice says from behind him, “I could hear them the whole time. I can always hear them” David turns to see Red, Snow’s closest friend and confidante, also Emma’s godmother, and also a werewolf, who has excellent hearing even as a human. She’s also the only person in the castle who doesn’t get reprimanded for coming into their private chambers unannounced. She is already dressed for the day, her lips done up in bright red lipstick and her curled hair down. While Snow did honor her with the title of a Lady, Red has never acted nor dressed like one. “Do you really think Emma could have a secret romance without me knowing about it?” Red almost looks insulted.

“So, how did they go from Emma rebuffing him, to her running away with him?” Why it is taking Snow so long to get to the part of the story he’s most interested in is beyond David. She’s usually pretty direct, but now it seems she is trying to torture him. Maybe she is.

“He kissed her.” Red says, stretching out on the chaise. “That same night. She walked away saying it could never work, they were too different, blah, blah, blah, and he went after her and kissed her. And it must have been one hell of a kiss, because he came back two weeks later, and then two weeks after that, and so forth.” Red’s smile was a devious one.

“Wait. You mean to tell me Killian has been sneaking into the castle for two years, and no one thought to tell me?” David is at the end of his rope. “I need to sit down.” He collapses onto the other end of the chaise.

“Well, look how you’re reacting David.” Snow admonishes him. “And then you went about trying to find her a husband. I mean, Baelfire, really? Do you know your daughter at all?”

David thought he had. She’d been attached to his hip from the beginning. Always calming much more easily for him than for Snow. He knew Baelfire wasn’t the best, but she’d shown no interest in any prince or nobleman since she’d become of marriageable age. Of course, now he knew why.

“You went along with the Baelfire thing!” David says to Snow. Red has started getting her ready for the day, even though Snow has dressers to do that. She’s always preferred Red’s company over hired help, ever since Red had taken her in when Snow was on the run from her stepmother.

“I knew Emma would find out about it. I was trying to get her to come clean to us about Killian. I didn’t think she’d run away with him! Away from us!” Tears form at the corners of her eyes, and David goes over to comfort his half-dressed wife. He realizes that she is just as upset about this as he is, only she already knew Emma was in love. Even if Emma hadn’t told her, she already knew and all she had wanted was to have Emma painted into a corner enough to tell her parents the truth.

They stand there for a moment, David’s arms encircling his wife, memories of their younger days when they were living in the forest on the run, having adventures that they were not quite prepared for bubbling in his mind. Emma is older than he and Snow were when they met. She’s barely been off the castle grounds, even though she’s yearned for adventure since she could walk. How many times had they found her so high up in the trees that they could barely see her? How many times had she snuck out horses to go riding in the middle of the night? How many times had she expressed her sheer and utter boredom of living a life most would dream of? They sheltered her too much, David now realizes. They were so worried about giving her the life they’d been denied at one point, that they never thought about the life she wanted to live. And that had led her to a clandestine relationship with a pirate (albeit, old family friend) right under their (his) noses.

“You said that Killian originally came to the ball because he was tired of being a pirate?” David asks, remembering how he glossed over that snippet of information earlier.

Snow breaks their embrace to look at him. “Well, the name Killian Jones hasn’t been mentioned as much recently. I think he’s lost his taste for it.” She frowns slightly. “I’m almost positive he was going to ask you if he could work for you as a privateer.”

David frowns along with her. “So why didn’t he?” He wonders.

“Because of Emma.” Red says breaking up the private moment. “He knew she yearned for adventure, and keeping up the pirate persona was exactly what Emma wanted from him, despite his reluctance to keep it up. Plus, once she asks you to forgive him for being a pirate and making him a privateer, then it all looks like she reformed him.” Snow and David give Red a befuddled look, wondering how she knows all this. She laughs. “Just because Emma didn’t confide in you two doesn’t mean she didn’t confide in someone. She knew Killian sneaking in wouldn’t get past my hearing.” Red shrugs.

“Fine!” David says, throwing his hands up as if he’s just been bested. “Snow, send a bird!”

Our Dearest Emma,

Despite what you may believe, your father and I are thrilled that you have found love. We are only sorry that you felt the need to run away with your pirate captain instead of coming to us about it. We really hope that you will come home so we can discuss this as a family.

Love,

Your Parents

“They don’t seem mad, love” Killian says, kissing her on the temple. Sometimes he still can’t believe that this beauty by his side chose him. She is dressed in simple blue leather pants and vest over a plain white tunic. Her long blonde hair, which he’s only ever seen down (with the exception of the first night they met), is now up in a messy ponytail with braids throughout to keep the sea wind from making it a tangled mess. He blesses the gods every night that Queen Snow invited him to that ball.

“I don’t know.” Emma says. “This doesn’t seem too easy for you? I run away with a notorious pirate and they’re just okay with it?”

Killian tugs on her shoulder to face him, her eyes still lost in the short letter her parents sent. She is, understandably, confused. It’s adorable.

“You forget, my love, that I knew your father before I turned pirate. In fact, you’re the same age I was when Liam died and I went rogue. He knows I would never let any harm come to you.”

“Please don’t ever mention that you and my father used to be friends. It’s weird.” Emma makes a disgusted face and Killian laughs at her while leaning into her to softly kiss her lips.

“And,” he says slowly kissing along her jawbone, “you know I haven’t been ‘notorious’” (he growls that into her ear making her shiver) “since we met.” He pulls away from her. She stares at him, her face showing dissatisfaction at the fact that he stopped what he was doing. Killian gives her the most serious face he can muster when she’s looking so put out, and absentmindedly scratches the back of his neck. “You know I want to do right by you, Emma. This was the plan all along. Make your parents panic a little and then let them think they’ve worked out the solution for us to live happily ever after.”

Emma looks into his eyes, the ones she always compares to the blue of the ocean, the ones that she loves to stare into while they make love, and the ones she loves seeing first thing in the morning, usually before he would kiss her passionately on the lips and then sneak out before anyone in the castle knew anything was amiss. She worries her lower lip between her teeth, and slowly nods her head in agreement.

“Yes. You’re right, Killian. I…, I guess I just hoped we’d get a little more adventure before we had to go back and start palace life.” Killian smiles at her.

“Well, no one says we have to send a letter back to your parents right away. I think we could spare an extra two days before responding back, don’t you think?” Killian says, waggling his eyebrows.

“You think you’re all sexy when you do that, and I’ll just fall into your arms and do whatever you say, hmm?” Emma says getting face to face with him. Killian lifts just one eyebrow in response.

“Well, I prefer dashing rapscallion, but sexy works as well. And you do whatever I say because you love me, and you want to spend more time with me before heading home to your parents.” He smirks because he knows he’s right. Emma tries to make it seem like she’s going to disagree, but she can’t resist him for long. She grabs the lapels of his leather duster and pulls him in for a searing kiss before they head back down to his quarters to hammer out what they should write back to her parents, and other more enjoyable activities.

They arrive back at Misthaven a week later, and even though Emma has only been gone a total of two weeks, David notices how much older she seems. And how happy she looks. There is nothing in the realm that would make him want to take that smile from her face. David also sees a sense of calm and peace in Killian. Sure, Killian looks apprehensive when the Jolly Roger is met by the King and Queen themselves, but he relaxes immediately when David thrusts his hand out to shake Killian’s in acceptance. They have many details to work out, but in the end, David couldn’t have honored Liam’s memory more than to make Killian part of his family. Maybe someday David will tell them how at that first dance that five-year-old Emma attended, and thirteen-year-old Killian danced embarrassingly with her, that he and Liam joked about them marrying some day. It’s too bad Liam didn’t live to see the joke become a reality.

@profdanglaisstuff @thisonesatellite @mariakov81 @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @jennjenn615 @kmomof4 @superchocovian @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones

#cs ff #cs fanfic #princess emma #pirate killian #david is clueless #snow knows everything #captain swan #captain swan ff

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ofcloudsandstars · 5 years ago

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Celestial Forecast

Week 2-8

Sike! I am still going!! Take that PSD !

The aspects this week are really forcing us to look into our hearts. There is a handful of aspects being triggered by Venus and Uranus that will ask us to heal and bring positive change (along with some lunar transits triggering Ceres that will look at where we need to be nurtured) and this last leg of Mercury's retrograde leading up to the full moon at the end of the week will bring us to find out what we need to love and forgive in ourselves before we can absorb the retrograde lesson and move on.

Notes: this is london based so weeks are from Monday-Sunday and the time is set to UTC.

2nd

🌓 First Quarter Moon in Gemini ☽ Moon in Gemini trines Ceres in Aquarius ☽ Moon in Gemini Sextiles Chiron in Aries ☽ Moon in Gemini will Square Eros, the Sun and Neptune in Pisces

Energy: Today will feel vulnerable yet healing. With the moon waxing in Gemini it's a great day to open your mind and take in new information yet with mercury, the ruler of learning and the mind currently asleep this energy will feel inverted at best and could be used to learn about yourself and hidden emotional baggage that you may be clinging onto. With the moon making a harmonious sextile to Chiron and a powerful trine to Ceres, our deep wounds (and other wounds) will float to the surface yet we will have the opportunity to nurture ourselves and work through it. With Ceres in Aquarius the key will be to nurture ourselves by honoring our individuality and forgiving ourselves as well as accepting our uniqueness. With the square the moon will be consecutively forming with Eros, the Sun and Neptune throughout the day, these bruised points could potentially manifest in areas of sexual frustration, repressed anger or deceptions revealed. Especially with the sun square, these negative traits could be brought to light. It's a good day to do shadow work (I know I say that often but it's the retrograde along with these transits man..) and protect yourself from other's negative energy. Alternatively if you have had a foe that's been bothering you and pestering you for ages but unable to make others see that they are a gremlin all along, this is a good day to do a truth-revealed spell to expose their ass to everyone. The retrograde and these transits are about revealing secrets and ugly truths/emotions so if they are trying to be shady to you behind the scenes then you can expose the shade.

Recommendations: self healing, meditation, shadow work, tarot reading, divination, truth revealed spell, self love magic

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3rd

Venus in Aries squares Saturn in Capricorn

☽ Moon in Gemini trines Juno rx Libra ☽ Moon in Gemini sextiles Venus in Aries ☽ VOC 2:19PM-4:25PM (until next day)

Energy: Today will feel extra fucking tender as Venus will make an uncomfortable square with Saturn in Capricorn which will make us feel a bit lonely and in need of a hug. Though this energy might manifest in people feeling isolated the tension of this aspect may push others to want to build a long lasting relationship with loved ones whether that may be friendship, romance or any other meaningful bond. To add to this the lovely emotional moon's transits will make a trine with Juno retrograding in Libra (classic) and a sextile with Venus in Aries. These two aspects will make it a little easier to reach out to others to let them know you would like a little bit of love and support today and most likely someone you care about may reach out to you first. It's easy with these transits to want to isolate yourself especially with mercury's retrograde but if you do practice some self love magic and working on your heart energy. Do not do any love attraction magic if you feel compelled to. The moon will be void of course for most of the evening so it's a time to rest and reflect. Instead take care of yourself or reach out to loved ones.

Recommendations: self love magic, preparing drinks with intention such as hot chocolate, hawthorn tea, matcha tea (these are all heart-opening), self-love bath magic, napping it off (why not?)

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4th

Mercury Retrograde Re-enters Aquarius Mercury in Aquarius sextiles Venus in Aries

☽ Moon enters Cancer (4:25PM) ☽ Moon trines Eros in Pisces ☽ Moon sextiles Uranus in Taurus ☽ Moon opposite Saturn and Pluto in Capricorn ☽ Moon squares Chiron in Aries

Energy:

Mercury will re-enter Aquarius today. Aquarius tends to be more detached from the emotional details and can see the bigger picture which this phase of the retrograde may ask you to do. This segment you may find the tides of the universe are seeking for you to rise above your individual problems to see the grander scale and change your perspective. This re-entry will make mercury sextile Venus in Aries which will make you re-evalue the harmony within your relationships and how you express love and affection. This may be an awkward day to try to charm someone or express affection depending on how the retrograde may affect you (unless you are 100% honest and unfiltered about your feelings but even that could backfire).

With the moon in the most EMOTIONAL sign, (cancer), the lunar transits will add another perspective to our emotions as we may evaluate our relationships. It will trine Eros making our passions and desires clear (though we may lack the fire to act on them), it will square chiron making our previous traumas bubble to the surface and it will be opposite Saturn and Pluto in Capricorn which will only add additional feelings of loneliness, isolation, unearthed intense repressed emotions from the netherrealms of our deepest subconsciousness and a possible spike in PSD (pisces seasonal depression). On a positive note, the moon will also sextile Uranus in Taurus starting off this chapter of mercury's re-entry into Aquarius with some positive surprises or chance encounters that could help shake things up in a good way. This sextile helps break patterns and starts something new so this energy could be used wisely to evaluate what is no longer serving you mentally or emotionally and starting off on a positive foot!

Recommendations: journaling, resting, divination for shadow work, healthily crying

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5th

Venus enters Taurus ☽ Moon in Cancer trines Sun and Neptune in Pisces ☽ Moon sextiles Sedna in Taurus ☽ Moon opposite Mars and Jupiter in Capricorn

Energy: Today will feel like an oasis in the many days of romantic strife. The transits have not been kind to our hearts with Juno in retrograde, and Venus in Aries ridiculous aspects, but now Venus is taking a chill pill and returning to one of it's home signs Taurus. There's a reason why Taurus Season starts on 4/20 because it's the most sensual, relaxed, chill, luxurious, lush sign there is and we will feel the effects of Venus in Taurus with wanting to just enjoy life and appreciate the good things in it a little bit more.

Additionally the lunar transits are pretty nice too. The moon in cancer will trine the Sun and Neptune in Pisces making the day extra dreamy and creative and easy going. The moon will eventually make a sextile with Sedna in Taurus adding to our desires to be creative and in some cases may manifest in appreciating life and nature. The moon will also form an opposition with Mars and Jupiter in Capricorn which could either manifest a drive to put our feelings into action or expand on them or if we choose to not use the energy it could manifest in other ways such as sudden bursts of energy which could be either good or bad. With oppositions it's best to try to make the opposite energies harmonize otherwise the imbalance can cause unexpected bursts in areas we weren't ready to handle.

Recommendations: creating art, art magic, dance magic, kitchen witchery, self love magic, meditation, dream oracling, nature walk, creating something, tapping into heart energy.

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6th

☽ VOC 7:11AM - 9:27AM ☽ Moon enters Leo ☽ Moon in Leo trines Chiron in Aries ☽ Moon opposite Mercury rx in Aquarius ☽ Moon squares Venus and Uranus in Taurus

Energy: Today will be a day for drama as the Moon enters Leo and makes all sorts of spicy aspects with the planets. With the moon in Leo the energy can create a positive outlet for our emotions to be channeled through our creativity yet on the flipside the energy can also let explosive emotional episodes burst out dramatically. The moon will be teaming up with Chiron in Aries in a trine which can help us explore our deep issues and bring about healing. However when it comes to communicating there might be some challenges with the moon opposing mercury retrograding in Aquarius. It may be best for us to work on ourselves solitarily or channel it into a personal creative project instead of trying to express it or project it outwards when there is a lot of room for miscommunication. Finally the moon in leo will square Venus and then Uranus in Taurus which will add the flavors of drama, surprise, new encounters, emotional outbursts from others, emotional neediness, rebelliousness and in some cases infidelity. Take caution as this is not a day to over indulge by impulse spending or lash out in response to outbursts. Though the squares may make some tensions with the Moon in it's dramatic placement, the lunar transits are only a few hours long so the air will clear and a settled state will return quickly.

Recommendations: Protection magic, invisibility glamours (if you want to avoid drama), Hexes!! Or- channeling energy through creative outlets.

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7th

☽ Moon in Leo sextiles Juno rx Libra ☽ Moon opposite Ceres in Aquarius

Energy: With the moon continuing it's transit through Leo, it's now met with a sextile from Juno in retrograde and eventually an opposition with Ceres in Aquarius. Leo also being a sign also of romance and the inner child could bring out those emotional qualities to the surface today with our lunar transits as they get affected by Juno and Ceres. The Juno retrograde sextile could stir up deep feelings of wanting to connect with your ideal love, wanting to receive your ideal love or wanting to find something to devote your love and creativity to. The retrograde can help with great introspection yet if you feel any frustrations then tarot can help you to show where you need to work on to manifest it in your life. With the moon in creative Leo opposing Ceres in eclectic Aquarius, it may bring up potential for us to find nurturing in expressing our individuality through creative projects or alternatively it could potentially bring up some negativity regarding feeling alone and unnurtured as well. If you happen to fall on the negative side of the vibe you can honor yourself by doing the things you always love the most or trying a new outlet to express yourself. It's ok to feel down from time to time and lunar aspects (especially with smaller planets/asteroids) are brief so this may not affect you so much but if it does use the Leo moon to fuel it into self expression!

Recommendations: Art magic, self love, love divination, love spells

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8th

Venus conjunct Uranus in Taurus Sun conjunct Neptune in Pisces ☽ Moon in Leo squares Sedna in Taurus ☽ VOC 8:12AM-11:47AM ☽ Moon in Virgo (full moon phase begins) ☽ Moon in Virgo trines Venus and Uranus in Taurus

Energy: It's not yet the full moon yet we are inching there, and the energy will feel heightened now!! The full moon phase will begin and will start off with a powerful conjunct with Venus and Uranus in Taurus along with the Sun and Neptune in Pisces creating a powerful dreamy vibe of romantic surprises and new positive sensual developments. The moon in Virgo will trine Venus and Uranus in Taurus as well making all three planetary energies work in unison to create a powerful energy of love, tenderness, harmony, excitement, positive surprises, new positive changes, chance encounters, thrills, breaking habits, powerful magic and romance. The Virgo full moon (opposing Sun in Pisces) is a moon that reminds us that our dreams are in reach if we follow through the steps to get there. Along with the aspects between the sun and neptune along with venus and uranus today is a FANTASTIC day for romance spells for new love AND MONEY SPELLS especially to win money or earn it suddenly in a positive way (that's not the universe just scheduling you for another week of back-to-back double shifts). If you are a creative this is a great day to pour energy into your work cause you will find breakthroughs. If you are keen for an adventure, today is fantastic to take a trip on. If you want to hook up or find romance today is also an amazing day to do magic for it. If you always felt shy about playing the lottery or doing a scratch card just give it a shot today, it's the full moon!! Your dreams are in reach. The other planets are like cheerleaders for virgo's full moon. Go for it. Yolo

Recommendations: Money Magic (focus on winning money), love magic, sex magic, manifesting dreams into reality, vision boards, job finding spells, road opening magic (road opening means unblocking energy or creating new opportunities to come your way whether that means for jobs, money, creativity etc).

#witchblr #astrology #moon phases #magic #transits #celestial #forecast

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louistomlinsoncouk · 6 years ago

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Louis Tomlinson: ‘It took some real maturity to understand that One Direction wasn't real life’

I meet Louis Tomlinson at Simon Cowell's London office: a huge, two-room space befitting of a Bond villain at Sony Music’s HQ in High Street Kensington, on the floor occupied by his label, Syco. Cowell, to be clear, isn’t here, but he definitely feels present. A ten-foot portrait of the music mogul smirks down on all those who enter from the minimalist living room wall. Tomlinson, his publicist and I go straight through the frosted glass doors into the office-proper to do our interview, but before we can start the 27-year-old One Direction member turned solo artist needs a cigarette.

Within 30 seconds someone has brought Tomlinson a heavy orb-shaped black ashtray and a cup of tea. He lights up – smoking two more over the next half an hour – and visibly relaxes, leaning back in his chair. Tomlinson has the air of a comedic TV personality: warm, funny and self-effacing, he makes regular references to his hometown of Doncaster (“Donny”), has a loud, theatrical voice and swears like a trooper. “Simon won’t mind,” he says – and mind Cowell shouldn’t. One Direction, one of the most successful boy bands of all time, were Cowell’s cash cow after he brought them together on the X Factor in 2010. Since going on “hiatus” in 2016, all five boys (now men in their mid-twenties) launched solo careers, but only Tomlinson stuck with Syco. Now, Cowell's last vestige of the One Direction big bucks is gearing up to release a debut album, which, as anyone who knows anything about the fervour of the band's fans will be well aware, is already a guaranteed hit.

Tomlinson has, however, taken a big risk. Dressed in a vintage red football shirt, black tracksuit bottoms and black trainers, hair still styled into sweeping boy band perfection, he explains that this new music is “a statement of intent”. Gone are the saccharine, dance-tinged pop beats heard on his 2017 and 2018 collaborations with Bebe Rexha and Steve Aoki. Instead, his latest single “Kill My Mind” is a nineties rock-inspired anthem that sounds like an ode to Oasis. “I spent a long time treading water working out where I fit in the industry,“ he says. “I had to work out what it is I can actually get away with, and just how much I have to play for radio,” explaining that he did the aforementioned collaborations “because I felt like I had Tomlinson says that, unlike former bandmates Zayn Malik and Liam Payne, both of who have released music obviously influenced by hip-hop and R&B, “I can’t really relate to the urban-leaning sounds you hear on American radio”. Instead, he cites Catfish And The Bottlemen as an influence (“Lyrically, it’s conversational and honest”) and spends his time listening to Apple Music playlist “Kebab On The Night Bus”, which features bands such as The Arctic Monkeys, The Stone Roses, The Who and Idles . The result is a solo output that, finally, makes him feel “really excited and really proud. This is where I want to be.

So what does he want this new music to say about him, other than he likes guitar music? “I want people to look at me as a good and credible songwriter.” Overall, what I want from my lyrics is honesty,” he elaborates. “I want it to be real. I don’t want them to feel Hollywood or contrived.” Most of the album is “very autobiographical”, but he’s also taken care to keep it “exciting”, after listening to the earliest version of it and feeling that “A lot of it sounded quite sad.” Tomlinson, who lost his younger sister earlier this year, references the single before “Kill My Mind”, “Two Of Us”, which is about his late mother, Johannah Deakin, who passed away in 2016 after a battle with leukaemia. “That’s a very, very honest song, but it was also very emotionally heavy. I don’t want to be known as that guy.” What, the stereotypical mope with a guitar? “Yeah, exactly, I don’t want people feeling sorry for me. I want people to feel good when they listen to my music. That’s one of the amazing things we had with One Direction.”

Together with Liam Payne, Tomlinson did a lot of the writing for One Direction, which, on reflection, he thinks he was driven to do so that he might find his role in the band. “This isn’t a relatable statement,” he acknowledges, “but I imagine that anyone who’s been in a band or boyband will understand this feeling. There were definitely times in the band that I felt like I could do more or sing more, which is why I actively tried to get better as a writer, because I thought that would be my outlet.”

Now Tomlinson feels like he's found his writing groove, but is he worried the One Direction fans might not like his new music? “Yeah and that’s what creates a bit of a conundrum actually, because that’s very relevant for me,” he says. “I feel like, to a certain degree, we all owe them something. We are where we are because of them, it’s as simple as that.” As my colleagues here at GQ can attest – this 2013 interview with the band got us death threats – upsetting fervent One Direction fans is not an action to be taken lightly. He says that he’s “deliberately included songs on the album that feel a little bit transitional, so it won’t be too alienating towards the fans”. Lyrically, however, he feels like he still “writes what they want to hear, because it’s honest and it’s real and it’s me pouring my heart out”.

But with a ready-made audience come anxiety-inducing benchmarks. “Having the experience of being in 1D was incredible and it’s given me so much to work with, but it’s also hard in terms of expectation, because that was the pinnacle of what we were,” he says sombrely, referring back to the time spent mulling over how to balance making music that’s authentic with finding his place in the mainstream. “If I’d done this interview two years ago, I’d have said to you that if my album doesn’t get to No1 I’ll feel like I’ve failed. It embarrasses me saying that shit out loud now, but it took some real maturity to understand that One Direction wasn’t real life... Everything I’d been shaping my experiences around was something that wasn’t real life, even in the music industry.”

We laugh about those heady days, when he was 18-24, fresh out of Doncaster and making the kind of money 99.9 per cent of us can only ever dream about. “There was a solid time when I spent a long time looking at the most stupid, ridiculous things to spend money on,” he says when I ask him about his own crazy popstar purchases, having read that Liam Payne once bought the Ford Anglia from Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets. “I’ve got a long list of random movie props that starts with the great opener of the leg braces that Tom Hanks wears in Forest Gump. Have I ever got them out? No. I looked at them when I bought them like, ‘Oh, this is amazing,’ but really, I’m not a showy person, I’m not going to have them on display in my house.” Also stored away (“I’ve got Hard Rock Cafe in one cupboard”) are the swords from Kill Bill.

[...]

Has he ever considered retiring out of the public eye? “I’ve thought about that loads of times. It’s only the fans, and the fact I have a point to prove to myself, that keep me getting up every day and getting on to do it,” he says. “When I’m 50, I’m going to go off and get my coaching badges and I’m going to manage some youth team and win the FA Youth Cup with them.” So with all the intense media scrutiny, the feeling that you owe millions of people around the world well, something, and a hugely successful stint as a musician already under his belt, what’s he’s still trying to prove with his solo career? “People and the press love to say, ‘Oh, A and B will do well, but the rest of the lads, they’re not going to do anything.’ So my point I’m trying to prove is that I’m still going to be here in ten years, I hope”.

#louis tomlinson #press #kmm: british gq #kill my mind promo #19sep19 #it's not the full thing

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steve0discusses · 5 years ago

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Yugioh S4 Ep10 pt 1: Yugioh Predicted the California Drought

Ah, my break is officially over, and it’s a new year, and so far, this year kind of sucks so lets get distracted and watch some TV. IF ONLY we could solve the world’s issues with a bunch of lost children from Japan carrying magical paper cards, amiright?

Anyway, Seto reflects on these cards that he came alllll the way to California to learn about, only to learn about them, and then decide “Yeah I didn’t really want to know that, Yugi.”

I just want to remind everyone that last episode I said “and now Kaiba has joined the party” and it lasted like less than one conversation with Yugi before Seto was like “oh hell no” and just walked out in that purple ball gown, trailing behind him like a complete diva.

Yugi needs to curse his friends to like him more often, is what I’m saying.

(read more under the cut)

So, staring at the fallout of their rekindled friendship with Kaiba that lasted less than a minute, Joey makes an observation.

And then Yugi just wonders “the hell is this plot supposed to go if a Kaiba isn’t here to abduct my family/tell me what to do/get abducted themselves?”

So they decide to reach out to the only other person on this show with a degree than Seto Kaiba.

(And TBH, Seto probably just decided to buy a new degree in graphic design from Devry so he wouldn’t have to finish public school and spend another millisecond in the same room as Joey Wheeler.)

And I have to give Yugi credit for finally deciding to visit the only adult he knows in America. Way to finally find an adult, Yugi. Took 4 season’s but you’ve finally done it. Gonna go visit Arthur Hawkins and dance awkwardly around this Rebecca situation that I guess Tea is fine with now. She used to be jealous, but I think Tea genuinely enjoys spending time with Rebecca now. The jealousy kind of disappeared once the plot picked up.

And Kaiba just takes off in the most wasteful plane ever invented, off to destroy precious fossil fuels on some other side of the planet.

Kind of weird that Tea would rather fly in that asshole dragon plane than Duke Devlin’s sweet retro car, but youknow...I’ve mentioned before that Tea is secretly just a Kaiba-lite without the cards. Of course she’d prefer an asshole dragon jet.

And Yugi would be able to fit in the suit-case compartment of the dragon jet. Just put the suitcase on Mokuba’s lap, and then stuff Yugi into that little slot, he’d be fine.

And honestly Kaiba made the correct choice, because what these guys had to go through is absolutely ridiculous. First off, Duke is like “Oh, this is really close to here” (remember they are in the Financial District of SF) and he just turns directly off of 101 and blows through some bird sanctuary somewhere.

Like y’all, everywhere that doesn’t have a house or a cow field on it in the Bay Area is a protected bird sanctuary, weird fact about the Bay Area, and Duke killed so many birds this episode. The South Bay is SO DEVELOPED.

Course, that is again assuming that the art staff knew that they were drawing the Bay Area, which they SUPER DID NOT.

Now this rock structure, I’m sure, is there to mimic the next shot with the giant ass building--it helps make pleasing screen transitions. But...at what cost?

AT WHAT COST?

Just....

Like I am starting to think the landscapers only knew how to draw one type of mountain and that was it. Square mesas only. They were just unprepared for hills. And like...we only have wild grass that is green like this for like...2 months of the year. That’s it. That’s what my Winter looks like, it’s when the grass is alive.

How did this happen?

Anyway, Mai is alive, and really upset about it. Will she at all reflect on her behavior, and realize that if the main mini-bosses are telling you to knock it the hell off, then maybe there is something wrong with you? Like these are two people who I assume harvested a ton of souls off screen like actual serial killers and they’re like “Girl. You’re like being hella mean right now and need to tone it down.”

I mean, if Mai gets better, than that basically gives Joey absolutely nothing to do in this season so, gotta keep Mai completely bonkers. There she goes. On a motorcycle.

And if you thought Yugioh was done throwing recreational and vintage vehicles in your face, well don’t worry, they even got the OG vintage vehicle, check this one out:

A freakin horse.

And I have to tell you...horses are hard to draw and animate and Yugioh doesn’t do a great job and it is wonderful. I love seeing this horse kind of awkwardly stumble around. It’s very good stuff. Like clearly these artists do not love horses as much as they love one of these:

Of course, get allllll the vehicles in this episode, Yugioh, bring back Marik on his yacht, I dare you.

And then...this very bizarre set of things happen in succession. I’ll just show you.

NICE.

WOW.

That entire house just exploded.

Not just a part of it--but the entire freakin house.

They were there for like less than 30 seconds, and just demolished that entire house like it was Independence Day the movie.

And like that whole house situation was pretty bonkers anyway, not sure why they need a planetarium when they research undersea structures, but youknow what? Arthur Hawkins would.

And don’t you dare do the math and think about how much a house with a planetarium and a horse stable in it would cost in Silicon Valley. It’s way too depressing, trust me.

And yes, that probably exists. Lots of horse people in Los Altos, and it makes me wonder if maybe they based Rebecca’s home on Stanford University? Maybe? I feel like these animators think Stanford is in San Fransisco. That one seems likely to me.

Also, kudos to the horse that it got blasted 50 ft away by an explosion and not only is the horse completely OK, but so is all of her groceries. That is one power horse, right here. I mean the groceries are still covered in so much horse ass smell, but youknow, Rebecca’s 12 so it’s not the horse’s or Rebecca’s fault that she has no idea how groceries work. We should just be glad that she bought vegetables when she went to the store and not just 8 cartons of pop tarts.

So, hours pass, no police show up, and Yugi and co walk into this bleak situation.

Fortunately, the massive explosion did not explode the truck-led RV outside.

A truck that...could’ve been used to go and get the damn groceries, may I add. If Arthur Hawkins used the TRUCK and done his own job without sending his granddaughter into a modern town on a horse, then he would have been at the grocery store and his house would never have exploded. This one is on Arthur, honestly. Then again, he seems like he kinda has the parenting skills of Yugi’s family, who just kinda...delivered him to San Fransisco un-aided and was like “have fun storming the castle”

This ship is kind of hilarious in action, not gonna lie. Yugi’s here with a grandpa who came back from the dead and is like “They don’t really need your grandpa, so he’s probably fine” and it’s like wtf. That’s terrible advice, Yugi.

Anyway, they apparently needed the Oricalchos necklace that Yugi handed off to Arthur back in like the first episode. So Yugi didn’t exactly mean for this to happen, but yet again, because Yugi and Pharaoh can’t be bothered to keep track of their own magical items themselves, someone else goes off with them and gets super screwed. Again. At least Arthur isn’t totally evil (although he still might and go rogue like Marik, and we all know that would be a very funny hairstyle if it happened)

So Rebecca happens to have this necklace just on your person (WTF, ARTHUR THAT’S YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER) and she gives it back to Yugi, where it should have stayed in the first place since he’s haunted by powerful ghost powers and is the only one here that can handle all these haunted Mordor rings. (just remembered he left Bakura’s ring in Japan. I’m sure that’s not going to be a problem later.)

So, that’s all for Part One. As you can see, I’m a little behind schedule, but youknow, I got lazy over the break, and then I drew Joey Wheeler a bunch when I planned to be typing, and it was overall a really great use of my time. No regrets.

And if you just got here this is a link to read the Yugioh recaps from the start. One of these days I’ll put the link into seasons but that does mean I have to retag stuff.

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dailytomlinson · 6 years ago

Link

Tomlinson says that, unlike former bandmates Zayn Malik and Liam Payne, both of who have released music obviously influenced by hip-hop and R&B, “I can’t really relate to the urban-leaning sounds you hear on American radio”. Instead, he cites Catfish And The Bottlemen as an influence (“Lyrically, it’s conversational and honest”) and spends his time listening to Apple Music playlist “Kebab On The Night Bus”, which features bands such as The Arctic Monkeys, The Stone Roses, The Who and Idles . The result is a solo output that, finally, makes him feel “really excited and really proud. This is where I want to be.”

Still three years shy of 30 and living between London and LA (where he shares a home with his best friend from Doncaster, Olly), Tomlinson seems to have finally found some balance.

#gq magazine #190919 #kmm press #stunt mention #press #louis tomlinson

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thepetulantpen · 6 years ago

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Fairytale/Emotional Support

(Here’s another late contribution for @beaujester-week , a Robin Hood AU for day 5!)

Beau crouches beside a tree and tries to ignore Jester’s giggles behind her, hoping they’re out of earshot of the guards.

“Beau,” Jester whispers as best she can but in the dead silence of the forest, it may as well be a gunshot, “which-“

A twig snaps and Beau’s ears pick up the soft sounds of footsteps on the dirt path that winds through the forest, just a few feet in front of their tree. Reflexes kicking in, Beau pulls both herself and Jester closer to the tree, making sure its silhouette obscures their forms. In the same fluid motion, she covers Jester’s mouth to cut her question short. Jester pouts beneath her hand but begrudgingly accepts the necessity of silence in a run from the sheriff and snuggles closer to Beau.

The guards on the path look irritated and confused, no doubt lost in the twists and turns Beau took through the forest. They’re all sighing with exertion and annoyance, not paid to hike through the woods all day, hunting down an elusive thief for the sake of their delusional sheriff.

“I think she took the other path. Let’s join up with our forces in the east.”

Beau exhales silently, thanking every god she knows and barely believes in. She waits until the last spot of sunlight reflecting off their stupid helmets disappears on the horizon and then moves swiftly from their hiding spot, tugging Jester along.

Her feet have memorized this forest floor, dexterously leading her around roots and rocks, choosing the path of least resistance for Jester’s sake. Jester keeps a running commentary through their walk and Beau lets her, knowing the threat has passed.

Besides, she always loves to hear Jester speak about these things, the pride and excitement in her voice is enough reward for all the trouble they’ve had.

“-then I had my doubles do a little jig to distract them and you stunned the guard like bam! Oh, Beau, it was so fun- we should do this more often!”

“Feel a little bad for getting you involved in a life of crime.” Beau glances up from ground briefly to look at Jester’s face, tone only half joking.

“Pssh, I was kicked out of the last town, remember? I’m hardly as innocent as my pretty face looks!” Jester frames her face with her hands, looking angelic one second, then grinning like a devil the next.

Beau’s heard this story before and she’s only half sure she believes it. Anybody would deny it upon first meeting Jester, a cheerful little tiefling girl clearly incapable of humiliating a politician, committing minor theft and causing mayhem in the streets to mask her flee from the city. But Beau knows her a little better than most, has seen that deeply chaotic and mischievous energy of hers in action. This is, after all, the girl who agreed, without hesitation, to join her quest to pull off one of the most high scale robberies Nottingham has ever seen.

This last job was their biggest yet- and their most personal. Lionett family wineries may not feel the loss of revenue for long, but the poor of Nottingham could certainly be sustained by their stolen money for many months to come.

Beau just wishes she could’ve seen her father’s face when he realized just how much she was able to get away with.

“Beau, are you alright?”

“Hm?” Beau blinks away bad memories and vengeful fantasies to look at Jester, frowning in concern, “Of course. Why? Do I, like, look grumpy?”

“No, it’s just that you’ve got that look on your face like you’re thinking too hard about something dumb.”

Beau laughs and opens her mouth to respond with a joke, a transition to an easier topic, but Jester interrupts, expression earnest and serious.

“Is it about your dad?”

The forest floor is a fascinating thing, textured with unexpected holes and littered with odd plant life, giving Beau something to study while she stalls for time.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Beau looks up from the roots to meet Jester’s eyes, filled with kindness that has become Beau’s lifeline the last few weeks. Those eyes have carried her through heartbreak and abuse, made her feel valuable when Nottingham treated her like a stain on society. She knows she can answer honestly, without judgement or disappointment from Jester.

“Not really.”

Jester hums, studying Beau’s face to detect a lie. When she doesn’t find one, she smiles, a little relieved.

“Well, there’s not much to say anyway- he’s just a stupid, greedy man.”

The words are flippant, easy, but the way Jester squeezes Beau’s hand is not. Her grip is strong, an unforgettable reminder that Jester is there, should Beau change her mind.

Beau would’ve said thanks, or something equally unnecessary, but she catches sight of smoke and the first patches of straw roofs. They’ve arrived.

Jester pushes ahead, switching positions with Beau to pull her ahead, knowing the way from here.

Arriving at the tiny village on the outskirts of town, where much of the poor of Nottingham find themselves, is always an event. It’s a rush of activity and sound, a rush that Jester meets with matching energy, one girl against a village. Beau just hands over the bag of gold, less good at interacting with the kids and the thankful people here. They’re hailed with aliases whispered across the country, legends of heroes who take from the wealthy and give to those less fortunate.

Beau doesn’t know how she got stuck with Robin Hood, but it’s a little late to complain about it. Jester has it easier, having chosen her own name: Maid Marion, so she can take a bit of her mother with her on her adventures.

It’s cute, though not nearly as cute as Jester and Kiri.

“Oh, you’ll finally be able to buy a new cloak and some new toys, isn’t it wonderful?”

“Wonderful!”

Their smiles- Jester’s, Kiri’s, and the rest of the settlement’s- wipe the image of her father’s snarl.

This is the best part of her job.

...

Between jobs, Beau enjoys quiet moments in their borrowed cottage, barely managing to make her own tea and not ruin it. It’s nice out here, just her and Jester enjoying this place before they move onto the next town, the next community in need.

The peace and coziness is nice, of course, but she wouldn’t give up the thrill and the pride of their mission for it. She knows she could never commit to a life of sitting idly after she’s gotten a taste of adventure, of traveling the world in a whirlwind with Jester.

Jester couldn’t either, can’t even finish a quiet afternoon like Beau before she bursts through the door.

“Look at this! Isn’t it terrible?”

Jester shoves two pieces of paper in Beau’s face, too close for her eyes to focus on. She takes them from her and finds herself looking at two extremely shitty illustrations of her and Jester. They are truly comical, with wildly incorrect noses and stringy hair, and they’re supposed to be official Wanted posters, identifying them to the Empire. It’s laughable, and it’s exactly what she’d expect from Nottingham.

“Well, it’s a good thing we’re leaving town. Don’t think I could live with people thinking I look like that.”

Jester sits down at the table with Beau, taking her own teacup and pouring it somewhat angrily. Her indignation is frankly adorable, just another faucet of her passion. She feels everything so deeply, and acts on it accordingly.

“I’m making our own Wanted posters for the next town. I mean, this is ridiculous.”

Beau takes a drink and smiles at Jester, soft and relaxed on their day off.

“You could paint pictures of totally different people just to confuse everyone.”

Jester’s entire face lights up at the idea, the inspiration sparking nearly tangible mischievous energy. When Jester has found an idea she likes, she can talk about it for hours, her voice like music in a lilting tune that keeps Beau invested in what she has to say.

It doesn’t require much to keep Jester going once she’s gotten fixated on something, but Beau interjects with her criminal expertise when needed, adding fuel to the fire. They’re a perfect duo in that way, unconditionally supportive, regardless of the quality of their ideas or rationality of their worries.

Scheming is their kind of downtime, staying outside and talking about nothing and everything until the tea is gross, fireflies are swarming, and the stars twinkle above them.

Beau calls it a night when Jester starts yawning, following her back inside the cottage with just one last glance at the night sky.

She doesn’t recognize any of the constellations, but she swears the stars are scattered in the exact same pattern as the freckles decorating Jester’s face.

For a moment, the sky seems to smile at Beau and she smiles back. She must be more tired than she thought.

She goes inside, to sleep beside her lover, partner in crime, and roommate. There’s work to be done tomorrow, they’ll need their rest.

#beaujesterweek2019 #beaujester #critical role #jester lavorre #beauregard #this one is a bit of a mess #but i liked the idea so #oh well #maybe ill edit a better version later

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soldierwatch · 6 years ago

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name ➔ ghost

are you single ➔ i am »this close« to being married to @animosus

are you happy ➔ yeah, & it’s cause my lil sib spent two hours talking to me about reflective awoken eyes in dstny. just imagine trying to take a flash-photo of an awoken

are you angry? ➔ Pure Rage is my constant state of being.

are your parents still married ➔ surprisingly

NINE FACTS

birth place ➔ i’m a new yorker ;; lived in the country side of the state, though.

hair color ➔ dark brown

eye color ➔ blue w/ central heretochromia in both eyes ( the only hetero thing about me ). if you’re unfamiliar, it means i’ve got a golden ring around my pupils. when i was a kid, i didn’t know what it was, & i used to think my eyes were on fire.

birthday ➔ jan 27th ; me & mozart are birthday buddies.

mood ➔ 4:59 is the current mood, my men.

gender ➔ genderfluid w/ preference for male pronouns

summer or winter ➔ winter, because i like when i get to wake up in the mornings under warm blankets. you can always bundle up in winter. ...but i like summer activities.

morning or afternoon ➔ i like mornings so long as i don’t have to be up super early for somethin’ i don’t wanna be doing.

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ i’m in love with jack morrison

do you believe in love at first sight ➔ not even a little bit. that’s ridiculous.

who ended your last relationship ➔ i’ve never had a real relationship before grey

have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ lmfaooo yup. i told them it’d happen. they had it coming. ...they were a p good friend before everything went to shit tho.

are you afraid of commitments ➔ i have nightmares about commitments.

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ ... :( no i don’t think so

have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ yeah, but they didn’t really try to keep it a ‘secret.’

have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ no but 2018 sure fucking did a good enough job FOR me. in all seriousness, my love goes hard for those i lost that year.

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ love ; PLATONIC love. i’m not into romance.

lemonade or iced tea ➔ or

cats or dogs ➔ cats, w/ their li’l paws n’ soft foreheads.

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ a few best friends, tbh. i don’t do well w/ trying to keep up w/ a lot of people.

wild night out or romantic night in ➔ wild night in,,,

day or night ➔ night, when it transitions into day. so, dawn, i guess. …so long as it’s not when i have to wake up. …i prefer dawn if i’ve stayed up all night and don’t need to be going to work lmao.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ i’m too much of a goody-two-shoes to have ever even thought about sneaking out.

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ so many times. :(

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ g o d. you ever just fucking MISS someone ??

wanted to disappear ➔ so, like—in the book John Dies @ The End ( my fave ) there are these Shadow Men, right ?? and if they touch you, they completely wipe you from existence. you’re just GONE from EVERYTHING like you never existed——if they were real i would NOT hesitate to let one grab me.

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ I find myself staring at smiles more, but I like eyes.

shorter or taller ➔ doesn’t matter so long as i can Pick Them Up

intelligence or Attraction ➔ compatability lmfao,,,

hook-up or relationship ➔ relationship tbh

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔ yyyyyeah for the most part.

would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ i wouldn’t. my ROOM is messy, my life is not. i’m just a weak baby.

have you ever ran away from home ➔ lmfao i tried to when i was, like, six. i got to the end of the neighborhood and turned back around.

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ the threat has been made multiple times, but now that i’m actually All Moved Out it doesn’t matter.

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ i don’t play that fake-friend shit. if i don’t like someone, we aren’t friends.

do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ mmm,,, yes ? but not, like. on a deep-connection level ? like. they’re all Good People To Have As Friends, but, like. there’s a lot i keep to Myself w/ no intention of ever sharing—so i guess it’s my fault i won’t let people be ‘good friends.’

who is your best friend ➔ @animosus & also my lil sibling.

who knows everything about you ➔ the lil sib, cause they’re forced to listen to all my shit.

tagged by: yoinked it. tagging: @animosus // @mulltitudinous // @greenxscarves // @owobunnyowo // @walcure // @preservedhearts // you !!

#ஃ ➡ ᶤ'ᵐ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᵒᶰᵉ ( ooc )#ஃ ➡ ᶤ'ᵐ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒᶰᵉ ʷʰᵒ ᵈᵒᵉˢ ʰᶤˢ ʲᵒᵇ ( dash memes )

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haunthearted · 7 years ago

Link

I wanted to recommend a very good website, especially to my trans, dysphoric or dissociative followers.

Gender Analysis is a very well researched, well-sourced website about the trans experience. I take whatever opportunities I can to write polite, good-faith, educational replies to people on Reddit who don't "get" trans things, and I always rely heavily on GA because whatever the topic, there will be an article filled with the original scientific papers rebutting transphobic viewpoints. It can also be useful for supporting conversations with parents/friends, because it has the primary research right there. For example, today I learnt that all the concept of Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria ("my kid got a tumblr and now she says shes transgender because of peer pressure!") originated on three anti-trans websites, and despite its official-sounding name, has no research behind it. I knew that intellectually, but it's powerful to have the evidence clearly there for you.

Zinna Jones is one of the key writers there, and you may know her other work as she's been a prominent internet trans human for many years (how she has the courage and spoons for that, I will never know). One of her key experiences of gender dysphoria was depersonalisation: a weird, fuzzy, not-quite-thereness. On beginning hormones, it cleared up immediately: she had an "I didn't know what wrong felt like until I started feeling right" experience, as well you might if feeling oddly absent is your normal day-to-day experience. Because it wasn't a focus of how dysphoria was written about while she was coming up, she's done a lot of writing and research on it at Gender Analysis: describing what it felt like, researching comparable experiences in other trans narratives, and most recently trialing an anti-dissociative drug to see how it affected her.

Many of us come to ghosthood due to experiencing similar things to Jones - a not-quite-thereness, an oddness, a sense of timelessness and dislocation. Some of us very clearly associate it with trauma, a mental illness, or gender dysphoria; for others, it's just part of the fabric of life. I would like to recommend reading her posts on this particular topic to anyone who experiences something similar.

Now, if you relate to what she writes it doesn't mean you're transgender - don't panic - as varieties of depersonalisation can be a symptom of all sorts of other things - especially trauma and trauma-related conditions like BPD/CPTSD. But you might still find her descriptions useful.

On the other hand, if you are identifying as transgender and wondering if hormones are for you, you might find it validating or helpful.

(and because the world is horrible, there's no small chance that trans people are also traumatised. There's a great pair of posts that I'm sure you've already read, "That was dysphoria?" - but also her follow up, in which she re-experiences some of those symptoms as a depression.)

Finally, a recent post series explored an anti-depersonalisation drug, which you might be interested in exploring as an option for yourself. I had no idea there was such a thing!

In short, I was re-reading the archives this morning, and it occurred to me that a great many followers here might appreciate or find these posts useful. Make of them what you will, and best wishes to you all x

A tonne more thoughts after the cut:

This isn't meant to be "a trans blog", so I'm not going to focus on this too often. But certainly for me, Jones' posts really spoke to me and my experiences. I think there's a real danger in underselling how weird gender dysphoria feels. One sort of expects or assumes gender dysphoria is "I hate my breasts because I am a man"; there isn't so much written about how it can be "I'm tired, I don't really care, everything seems hollow and false, but I can't imagine life being any different because it's what I've always known, and it's not clearly anything to do with gender". That's been my experience - and it's incredibly hard to spot. I've been through six diagnoses since I was a teen (OCD, depression, anxiety, BPD, ADHD, autism), because while I've always been clearly unwell, it's hard to pinpoint gender dysphoria when it just manifests as brainweird, especially when that brainweird is you normal, as it was for Jones. For example, I've never really recognised my own face in the mirror. Weird, but whatever. When I was considering hormones last year, I decided to take up weightlifting as part of my experimentation process. It would allow me to see how I felt about developing a more masculine body, in a controlled way, and as someone who *hates* exercise, it would also be a useful test of commitment: was I dysphoric enough to motivate me to go to the gym? Because if not, I probably was not dysphoric enough to transition either. Well, I went three times a week and followed the correct food recommendations for building muscle until I could no longer afford either; and then it happened. I looked in the mirror and it was like a visceral, immediate shock of recognition. And now I can't unsee it. Every time I look in the mirror, my brain immediately pings back "nice Robert Plant vibe you got there man", which is ridiculous; no one else on the planet would see me and think that. But that very small amount of muscle, and slightly-more-masculine-shoulder/arm-profile, was enough to make my brain recognise itself for the first time.

Sometimes you don't understand what "wrong" feels like until you have "right" to compare it to.

(I think those of us with early experience of abuse might also relate to that; the way that being loved and respected by a good person later in life can be both shocking, and bring on a period of processing and heavy reflection because it illustrates how very wrongly you were treated before. Even if you know it intellectually, just the experience can be profound. Certainly, I've got a few experiences of not-being-taken-advantage-of which were absolutely shattering, like I was being taught how to love myself for the first time.)

And as you might expect, I'm also feeling very reluctant to pursue transition. This sort of nebulous dysphoria is, well - . I envy very much the "I knew I was trans from the moment I hit puberty because I hated the gender I was living in" people, who clearly see gender as their problem. It's very hard to contemplate something as life-changing as transition when its motivated by an increasing certainty that the only cure for my incurable mental ill is a different hormone balance, and as many days I have where I ask myself why I didn't transition 5 years ago already, I have others where I know I'll have to be dragged kicking and screaming through the process as my last resort.

Like, a few years ago I was at a "Even if I am transgender, I think I'd rather live as a woman [for reasons]" point; and now I'm at a "I would still rather live as a woman, but I am desperate to have enough disposable income to buy a really nice set of towels and maybe transition would make me well enough to not only work, but have a real career, and maybe I could buy a car, and go on holiday, and start buying tailored clothes instead of charity shop, and maybe redecorate my house in faux-Victorian style, and I really don't care if everybody hates me and I no longer have a coherently cisgender body, I would do anything to be able to afford unusual cheeses and teas rather than subsisting on stew" point. It sounds so shallow, but there it is; because so many of the problems I have don't feel dysphoria-related, because I'm only understanding them as dysphoria-related because nothing else has made an impact, my focus is increasingly on the little things in life I want to achieve, and maybe could achieve if my brainweird was fixed. I'm now fairly sure that if/when I do transition physically, I'll continue to recognise myself more, and realise how much of an impact physical dysphoria was having.

But it's what I know. And like Hamlet says, easier to bear the struggles we know than fly to others that we know not of.

Sidenote:

Intermittently, you'll see approaches which try to set up trans or mentally ill people as enemies to otherkin people, like the two experiences cannot co-exist, or like otherkin people ought to take the fall for the way transphobic use them as an anti-trans "gotcha". I personally find this very frustrating: I prefer approaches which are open, rather than closed off. Many/most of my followers here are either trans, mentally ill, have trauma, experience dysphoria or some other unspecified bodyweird/brainweird. In real life, I have four otherkin/therian/furry friends - and they too all meet that description. {There are also many otherkin who see their history as spiritual or religious, who aren't trans/mentally ill/traumatised, or who don't really know the source of their experiences - all of which is also OK!}.

I would always prefer to take a holistic and compassionate approach to the way experiences can overlap, rather than a combatative/competitive/polarised one; any hostile or fightin' talk messages/replies will be ignored, blocked or deleted as appropriate, because that's not a value I have for my online space. Although I'm open to discussing or exploring it, so please don't hold back if you want to talk about your experiences in good faith.

In short, there is a fairly significant overlap between people who come to identify as transgender/dysphoric/mentally ill, and those who come to identify as otherkin, or who might temporarily identify with one of those experiences while figuring things out - and this post is for them. Politics makes things sound so simple and clean-cut, but people are messy and complex, and I'd much rather help individuals navigate and explore their experiences - even if they are contradictory, or don't support my political goals. Trying to figure out brainweird and bodyweird is challenging enough, without making people tread on eggshells during the process.

#ghostly self care #queer spectrality #ghostkin

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bk-lostintranslation · 5 years ago

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Shoddy Shodō / Commentaries on Globalization

One needn't be a Zen philosopher to appreciate the elegant simplicity of Japanese calligraphy. An intriguing juxtaposition of stark yet subdued, there is an undeniable dynamism to the text that attests to the visual nature of Japanese aesthetics themselves. More engaging still is the preparation and ritual imbued within the art: the water poured into the dark slab of the inkstone, the hand-carved sumi ground against the edge of the basin, the translucent washi paper held down by paperweights, the elegant little compartments for paintbrushes and the rows of glossy ink bottles. During the lesson, when taking everything out and arranging it around the table, there was a pleasing sense of harmony – but also of playfulness, not unlike having a tea-party for dolls. The effect, in my case, was unfortunately spoiled when I first dipped my paintbrush into the ink – then immediately made an ugly blot on the paper.

Considered one of the most highly regarded forms of Japanese art, calligraphy – or shodō �� is perhaps as recognizably tied to Japanese culture as cherry blossoms, ukiyo-e woodblock prints, geisha, kabuki, Hokusai's The Wave or iconic shots of Mt. Fiji (Aato, et al, 2013). Yet this fascination and growing preeminence of the Japanese visual form abroad is by no means a corollary of the recent Japanization-wave that has seen the nation's culture surfacing as a global phenomenon. If anything, as far back as the nineteenth century, Japanese aesthetics have wielded a tremendous influence on their Western counterparts, beginning with the Meiji Restoration, when Japanese imports first began to trickle into European markets.

Artistic motifs and geometric designs unique to Japanese art were emulated; Japonisme, as defined by Philippe Burty, became a veritable craze in the West. Everything from furniture, crockery, textiles, architecture and performance arts borrowed from stylistic elements unique to Japan. Cloisonne techniques were applied to vases and jewelry; furniture was ebonized to emulate the gloss of Japanese laquerwork (Ji & Ukai, 2013; Ono, 2005). Household names such as Degas, Cassatt, Bonnard, Manet and Van Gogh were inspired by Nipponese woodblock prints, whose refined simplicity and distinct use of figures, shadows, colors and compositions allowed for greater flexibility from traditional artistic conventions. Indeed, Van Gogh would go so far as to claim "...all my work is in a way founded on Japanese art" (Nute, 2000, p. 13)

Today, vibrant skeins of Japanese art and culture continue to weave themselves through the fabric of daily life. Whether it is dining on gas-station sushi, flipping through the pages of a popular manga at the nearest Barnes and Noble, browsing online for Harajuku-inspired fashions (Milk, Bape, COMME des GARÇONS), sprintzing on the latest perfumes by Issey Miyake or Kenzo, gawping at Takashi Murakami's sakura-infused collaboration with Louis Vuitton – or practicing the ancient art of shodō all the way out in a Texas University – there is no denying that Japanese cultural and artistic trends have proliferated the unlikeliest places. Pink globalization, the proliferation of the kawaii, the superflat, the moe; earnest debates about the art of minimalism as embodied by wabi-sabi, academic works on the iconography and semiotics of anime – the sheer scope of Japanese aesthetic concepts abroad is testament to their transnational allure.

For many, this enjoyment of all things Japan stems from the nation's protean and hybrid culture itself – one that absorbs multiple outside influences and reinvents them into something undeniably its own. Others argue that this very fixation – almost a fetishization – of all things distinctly Japan-flavored may not be a modern translation of adulatory Japonisme at all, but of the more unkind Japonaiserie, which refers to the superficial transference of Japanese style into Western art, but can also be applied to the broader typecasting of Japan as an exoticized wonderland within which commodity fetishism and orientalist idealization converge.

The question, then, becomes: is the image of modern Japan that is absorbed abroad today merely loaded with all the concomitant denotations of cultural otherness, similar to the Japan-fever saturating Europe decades before – or is this obsession with the 'authentic' ethos of Japan the true crux of the issue? Jean Paul Sartre, of course, has argued that, "If you seek authenticity for authenticity’s sake, you are no longer authentic" (Daigneault, 2000, p. 25). Taken in that sense, true Japaneseness means little on its own. The very notion that in order for something – whether a concept or an object– to be considered Japanese, it must be rigidly and uniformly Zen or Shinto, or unspoiled by the diluting forces of globalization, is patently ridiculous. The different facets of Japanese aesthetics have long been imbued with both ancient philosophies and Western influences alike, in a bricolage that some have dubbed schizophrenic, others multivalent – but which remind us that Japan's relationship with modernization has not been a seamless overnight transition from rustic, Edo-period mura to the glittering neon-soaked streets of Ginza, but an ongoing, discordant and often self-contradictory process that at once borrows from, and lends itself to, external influences.

Yet, no matter how multifaceted the origins of Japanese aesthetics, or how versatile their range – from a gorgeous Kabuki play of Aoi no Ue to a secondhand store selling lacy Gothic Lolita dresses to my own pitiful attempts at shodō without even a rudimentary inkling of its Zen tenets – the fact remains that these principles are translated as undeniably Japanese abroad (Berger, 2010; Dorman, 2016; McKevitt, 2017). More to the point, in crossing geographic and cultural borders, they become almost emblems of Japaneseness. They are consumed, copied, critiqued for that very quality – a fact that once again harkens back to Sartre's remarks on authenticity: If the self-conscious Japaneseness of these aesthetics is the root of their appeal, are they truly Japanese at all? Or have they merely become hollow self-referential symbols – a Japan not celebrated as Japonisme, but its blander, shallower cousin of Japonaiserie, which posits pretty fluff and frippery as valuable based simply on their 'cool Japan' provenance?

To be sure, these concerns have been raised before. Issues with nation branding and soft power have been brought up consistently when examining the worldwide dissemination of Japanese culture and aesthetics. Prominent theorists from Koichi Iwabuchi to Joseph S Nye have remarked on how the carefully crafted face of Japan abroad is meant to foster certain ideas and images; to render Japan a personality that is implicitly institutionalized, and to socialize the rest of the world to a particular viewpoint. Similarly, in her book Pink Globalization: Hello Kitty’s Trek Across the Pacific, Christine Reiko Yano notes how works on nation-branding utilize the "language of marketing," and how the act itself is dependent on "the image others hold" (2013, p. 259). In essence, by packaging itself abroad, the nation 'others' itself. It transforms its cultural legacy into a collectible object d'art. It can even be said that the very act of nation-branding is an indulgence in the nation's own objectification.

While this strategy may seem workable from a marketing standpoint, with Japanese art and pop culture serving as a vital export and a tool of diplomacy (MacWilliams, 2015), there is also a disquieting whiff of the transactional that enters the equation – and in particular devalues the relationship between the aesthetic creation and its appreciator. Aficionados of Japanese art and tradition would like to believe that their relationship with the works they love and the nation they spring from is more nuanced than simply consumer and product. The very conception that it might be otherwise erases the link between not only the maker and the product but the seller and the consumer, devolving the cultural output into hollow merchandise unto itself. In his work, The Rhetoric of Soft Power: Public Diplomacy in Global Contexts, Craig Hayden notes that,

While it is evident that culture appears to predominate in Japanese soft power, the application of culture, both in public arguments and embodied programs and initiatives, suggests a marked tendency toward objectification of culture through products ... [Yet] the value of culture for soft does not stem from its intrinsic capacity to convey deep-seated values or to establish credibility by demonstrating Japanese policy motives – culture "works" by providing a means of access to further engagement with Japan, as part of a fan community, as a student of language, etc. Culture in this sense reflects the networks of connection (2012).

With that in mind, it is difficult to envision that level of connectivity emerging from a purely commercial model of culture. It is equally difficult to imagine this particular strategy of soft power benefiting Japan in the long run. Playful lessons in calligraphy, zany volumes of manga, picturesque Zen garden kits and the frilly extravaganza of Lolita fashion subcultures are all intriguing facets of Japan in and of themselves. But they are not the entirety of Japan – and the very notion that they might be runs afoul of constructing the "Japanese social body as an imagined wholeness (McRoy, 2008, p. 93)."

More to the point, this over-reliance on tired bromides and artistic stereotypes calls to attention the dangerous Orientalism tacit in both Western consumption of Japanese cultural and aesthetic input, and Japan's own marketing and masquerading of itself as a playground of the fantastical or eccentric – an act that precludes complex global discourse based on mutual learning as well as enjoyment. As Chitty, Ji, Rawnsley and Hayden note, the issue with Japan's formula of "glib branding schemes is the impossibility of capturing the full sweep of Japan's diversity..." and that "public diplomacy ought to be more profound than a beauty contest (p. 410-412)."

This does not imply, of course, that Japan's efforts to promote itself on the global stage are without merit. As mentioned, Japanese art forms – from Kabuki to calligraphy, from video games to anime – are hailed as vital facets in a broader strategy for fostering both foreign policy and economic growth. Yet, the key to their commercial success, sheathed within pontifications of "cultural odorlessness", is a self-conscious localizatization, or perhaps even "glocalization", which impels Japan to tailor its culture as a product that best fits its contextual reception (Hayden, 2012; Iwabuchi, 2007). To be fair, where marketization is concerned, culture becomes as easy to convert into a commodity as anything else. But the involvement of money flattens this mode of self-promotion by rendering it public – and by proxy, entrenched in the civic and legal hallmarks of consumption, as all merchandise is. The moment anything – an idea, an item, a sentiment – is placed on sale, its inherent value is measured solely in terms of its economic merit, and therefore its quantifiability.

It was intriguing to note the internalization of this mindset during the calligraphy lesson. As fellow students grappled with their brushes and dribbled ink across the rice-paper (which, I confess, appealed to my horrid sense of schadenfreude), our chief complaints comprised of "Why isn't this easier?" – "I thought it would be more fun" – "Why aren't I instantly perfect at this?" Yet, as the teacher was quick to remind us earlier in the lesson, calligraphy – as the purest form of ideography – requires kinetic grace as well as inner focus, neither of which are possible with a rigid composition, especially not on the first try. Easiness, fun and perfection are not the point of the endeavor – the process is. Yet the process is difficult to appreciate when one is accustomed to seeing their enjoyment of Japanese 'products' as transactional – no different from flipping through manga, or browsing the selection of anime on Netflix, or placing a Japanese BB-cream in an online shopping basket at Sephora.

How does one immerse themselves in the conceptual complexities of an aesthetic when he or she is so used to viewing the culture from within an economic model, where even something as benign as a shodō class absolutely must, somehow, telegraph the entertainment value associated with Japan, as a place of "fantasy and difference? (Anheier, 2011, p. 277) It is a reminder, that hand-in-hand with quantification goes decontextualization. That, in turn, brings us back to the dilemma of Japonisme versus Japonaiserie – within which commodity fetishism masquerades as exoticism, playing up to Western constructions of an enchanted but ultimately reductionist view of Japan. Learning about another culture should, in theory, be more broad-ranging and multi-faceted than that. There should be a sense of both parties engaging each other over the landscape of the art, the language, the history.

Yes, we have crossed the point where conceptions of Japanese culture and aesthetics can be understood as statically mystical, existing in a space completely separated from politics or pedagogy. Yet we do ourselves a disservice by imbibing only prettily-packaged, surface-level tokens of would-be Japaneseness – and Japan's soft-power strategy a greater disservice for pandering to it.

Perhaps it is a dark casualty of globalization, to forge not connections but new methods for labeling the objects of our interest into purely superficial categories based on their consumptive appeal, because to examine them from a broader lens runs the risk of them examining us in turn. Far tidier and safer to classify each other, with meta-tags and marketing, into archetypes and icons to consume without any tangible outcomes of a bilateral exchange. Here is a Geisha in a colorful kimono, coyly twirling a parasol – an exoticized symbol of feminine Otherness as much as a performative embodiment of iki. Here is a cup of sake, sipped with no substantive appreciation for its quality, but for the mere fact that it is an extension of the would-be unusual smorgasbord of Japanese cuisine. Here is the shodō lesson designed to suit the American temperament – Zen-free and upholding no aesthetic stance beyond being a straightforward source of amusement. It is easier to absorb the classifications posited by fetishized images of Japan, and Japan's internalization of that fetishization for marketing and nation-branding, so we can imagine we know the culture without actually knowing it, and to ourselves avoid being known. Why not, when classification conveniently precludes in-depth judgement?

There is an inherent cowardice in this strategy of soft power – for both parties engaged in the dance. There is a shortsightedness to this act of self-definition which is dependent on flawed teleology and a trap of circular logic wherein culture is served up as a commodity to be devoured, yet the power and resonance in that strategy remains dubious at best, limited at worst. Or perhaps that is the point, because it allows for the luxury of atomizing another culture on our own terms, while conveniently avoiding the dialogic parity that can only emerge with each party possessing an equally strong and honest voice (Tabachnick & Koivukoski, 2004).

We prefer the foppish superficiality of the Japonaiserie to the more prismatic understanding necessary for Japonisme – because the latter rests on the premise of cultivating an understanding of others, and therefore of ourselves, while the former provides an easy means to evade an external gaze that tells us something about ourselves we aren't comfortable with confronting. It is easier to project a one-dimensional persona into a realm of the same. It is easier buy into the delusion that we have hermetically sealed ourselves and others into an airtight wrapper of self-affirmation – and to cling to it with a blind, nearly onanistic tenacity.

References

Anheier, H. K., & Isar, Y. R. (2011). Cultures and globalization: heritage, memory & identity. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.

Berger, A. A. (2010). Tourism in Japan: an ethno-semiotic analysis. Bristol: Channel View Publications.

Chitty, N., Ji, L., Rwansley, G. D., & Hayden, C. (2017). The Routledge handbook of soft power. London ; New York: Routledge, Taylor et Francis Group.

Daigneault, P. (2000). Sartres early moral theory. Routledge. Abingdon, UK.

Dorman, A. (2016). Paradoxical Japaneseness: cultural representation in 21st century Japanese cinema. London: Palgrave Macmillan.

Hayden, C. (2012). The rhetoric of soft power: public diplomacy in global contexts. Lanham, MD: Lexington Books.

Iwabuchi, K. (2007). Recentering globalization: popular culture and Japanese transnationalism. Durham: Duke University Press.

Ji, M., & Ukai, A. (2013). Translation, history and arts new horizons in Asian interdisciplinary humanities research. Newcastle: Cambridge scholars.

Macwilliams, M. W. (2015). Japanese visual culture explorations in the world of manga and anime. Abingdon: Routledge.

McKevitt, A. C. (2017). Consuming Japan: popular culture and the globalizing of 1980s America. Chapel Hill: The University of North Carolina Press.

McRoy, Jay (2008), “The Horror Is Alive. Immersion, Spectatorship, and the Cinematics of Fear in the Survival Horror Genre,” Reconstruction, Vol. 6, No. 1

Nute, K. (2000). Frank Lloyd Wright and Japan: the role of traditional Japanese art and architecture in the work of Frank Lloyd Wright. London : New York: Routledge.

Nye, J. S. (2004). Soft power: the means to success in world politics. New York: Public Affairs.

Ono, A. (2005). Japonisme in Britain: Whistler, Menpes, Henry, Hornel, and nineteenth-century Japan. London: RoutledgeCurzon.

Satō, S., Roshi, G. A., Fujiwara, S., & Sato, A. O. (2013). Shodo: the quiet art of Japanese Zen calligraphy: learn the wisdom of Zen through traditional brush painting. Tokyo: Tuttle Publishing.

Tabachnick, D., & Koivukoski, T. (2004). Globalization, technology, and philosophy. Albany, NY: State University of New York Press.

Yano, C. R. (2013). Pink globalization: Hello Kittys trek across the Pacific. Durham: Duke University Press.

#essay #academic writing #japan #shodo #calligraphy #soft power #globalization

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lovehaswonangelnumbers · 6 years ago

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New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/energetic-navigation-28-october-3-november/

Energetic Navigation 28 October – 3 November

By A Gift From Gaia

Progressively speeding up as we move deeper into the Solar Minimum and yet we have barely begun, the energy we find ourselves in is transforming those consciously aware rapidly, moving through realisations and releases almost hourly compared to how it was not so long ago when “things” would take “time”, of course, we realise that the “time” we took was again part of what required releasing and by releasing the lower aspects of this energy spectrum, the weighted time of the human linear way, it became Divine Time which simply showed the love within the energy, the light, and offers perfection in every moment. To exist in Divine Time is to be in a space of complete surrender, it’s a space where judgement would be self-sacrificing and defense creates internal wounds, Divine Time is the higher conscious view of Saturns playing ground and once you acknowledge our Lord and the rules on the gate he will gift you with the most magical experience as you release the restrictions of the lower octave programming we came to accept and be ruled by.

Breaking Free is a theme of energy that we have been surfing all this year, releasing from the Devil Tarot Card that represents the Capricorn energy, but as we know the Devil represents the low octaves of the human, the machine, the blind and so to use the old unconscious ways of the fear spectrum such as defense and judgment, blame and shame allows those loose chains to remain in place, those chains are not fixed, they are easily removed and so the choice to remain has always been yours.

The resistance creates disharmony, release brings magical celestial harmonics and with these Mars square Saturn and Pluto transits that are now reactivated for the next couple of weeks, the Mars square Saturn lined up yesterday and the Mars square Pluto is heading in now, we are continuing to learn how to ride this wild stallion, although perhaps some have mistakenly picked up the wild bull as it went charging past, see that’s a little different energy, the stallion holds heart, he can be tamed, the bull on the other hand doesn’t seem to hold the ability to connect, has no care, just wants to charge his angry self into every obstruction, and will eventually burn out his energy and most likely refuse to move for quite some time.

Both patterns, both rides are super important, those choosing the charging bull will no doubt learn to catch a ride with the stallion next time around and by that phase the chances are the bull will have allowed you to observe why you chose him, that the walls you had built up around, caked in unconscious belief systems posters and flyers to keep the truth of the wall hidden behind pretty dreamy pictures and fluff dressed in pity MUST come down.

This energy however you choose to move through is evolving us, taking us on lightspeed travels, zipping parts of our minds back into our ancient self, to retrieve data required for the now, and yet the next minute we are travelling with the ancient future self to receive the confirmation because the gems being retrieved are often beyond imagination and require boosts to fully understand the resonance and the codes held.

This means MORE raising of the physical body vibration, more listening to its requirements and acting in the moment as opposed to the old ways of waiting/weighting, which only ever slows us down, ignoring the most subtle signs of the body, even so much as making the request for thirst or hunger dissolve and opting for avoidance tactics signals to the body a lack of interest, a lack of unconditional love, there will be no self healing until EVERYTHING the body says is understood and innerstood, meaning we act upon everything, in the NOW because the now is the space in which we choose, now is The Creator of the ever evolving you.

This Mars energy we are experiencing is such a powerful clearing and creative energy if you understand how it behaves, and once that is understood we realise it is simply our own energy, emanating out from within and using the power of creation to highlight where our creation is not in harmony with our highest aligned timeline, and he is showing us the wounded masculine in its process of healing, as he is hot on the heels of the feminine, Venus, who is just one step ahead, Mars is focused, he is heading out of the underworld where he has been hidden behind the sun and he is now making the most out of this journey, fully aligned, fully committed to begin to unify with the feminine, the wounded masculine within is ready to support, ready to place his energy where it matters, within, to show his Queen her value, the true twin flame within, is ready to merge and become One very powerful light force energy.

What makes this more magical is that Saturn holds no expectation and the lesson is to realise it is the motion that matters, holding the awareness and making steady positive steps, in fact any speed or idea of rushing, pushing or charging ahead will only create an experience to understand patience, and again to step back into the flow of Divine Time allowing this to form so it can show you all the magical light gems along the way, and we don’t want to miss a single one, every light gem is so ridiculously valuable especially during this Dark Moon energy we have been surfing leading into todays Scorpio New Moon, which is opposing Uranus in Taurus, there is the bull again and he is acting rather jumpy with Uranus on his back, taking random turns, bucking and spinning, this is pure expect the unexpected energy, and for the cosmic surfers this is likely to bring a whole heap of new ideas and ways to underpin the new physical body vibrational upgrades you have been focusing on, this is something I noticed just a couple of days ago as myself and Reese, my son, have been adding some rather new and interesting things to our diets to assist on his road to recovery.

I would also like to just say a massive thank you to everyone who has been donating and sharing our fund, you have all encouraged him MORE than I could have imagined as he is now listening and open to trying natural ways to heal himself, a few days ago he would refuse ALL, didn’t believe anything would work other than the meds, we have so many new things and we are sharing them together, and yarrow tea seems to be quite a favourite. We had so many messages and a whole list of things to try which I read out to him, and talked to him about and just that, just by those messages of love from you all out there has helped him open up to receive and try more things to support this disease. We do have an awfully long road ahead of us though and we will still require some extra support as I am paying privately for Hydrotherapy sessions and so if these energetic navigation reports assistance you in anyway could I please ask for a small donation to the Help My Son Walk Again fund I have set up on GoFundMe (link below), however if you would rather donate through Paypal please do so using the email address – [email protected] or hit the link paypal.me/agiftfromgaia

What has been interesting to See in this is that there is a reflection of weakness, whilst I don’t have Ankylosing Spondylitis I have become aware we do have weakness in the same area which is why we are now healing this as One body, he is afterall a future version of myself, his template was created during times of dis-ease and of course this becomes the baseline frequency of his genetic makeup, so it makes sense we do this together.

But what this experience has been showing is exactly how this all works, how when you release all fear and restriction, when you listen to the requests of the body, when you care more, when you prioritise Self and plug only into that which nourishes, which incorporates all feeds that enter the field, then the experience becomes nothing short of enlightening and therefore rapid, the moment you release the push and the need what transpires is the flip, the rise and the expansion into new healthFULL experiences and by using the signposts being delivered by our celestial map it becomes an incredibly INjoyable transition.

The Scorpio New Moon energy takes us in deep, it allows so much to be seen and released to begin yet another transformative week that sees us welcoming in the backwards dance of Mercury in Retrograde, we are dredging the pool of Scorpio, we are digging away at the bottom and there will no doubt be more data to be found as ancient relics are unearthed giving us yet more clues as to why we find ourselves here and from these clues we will soon realise new paths opening up for us to journey.

This Mercury Retrograde is coupled with a solar wind prediction, we await the codes heading in and I will be back to translate. Stay present in the heart angels and open into pure acceptance for how the guidance moves us.

Please place a 💙 in the comment box to keep the heartbeat of A Gift from Gaia alive in the body of Facebook and please share the post or invite those you feel will resonate to this space, one small action can change the entire dynamics of a reality, you may just be turning on the light for someone lost in the dark.

Here is the GoFundMe page to support my son Reese and his healing, it is essential we get him walking now as we are already facing irreversible damage.

gf.me/u/v8gqjy

Thank you All 💙💙💙

*****

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hellolemonysnickerdoodles-blog · 6 years ago

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gone with the wind: the original y/a

Over the past few months or so, I have made quite the transition in my reading tastes. For the past two years, I had ravenously devoured Y/A, and the effect of my reading diet was similar to consuming nothing but McDonald's for a month. It left my brain feeling bloated and stupid from the number of cliches I injected into it.

Don't get me wrong-I'm a huge romantic and some days, I like nothing more that curling up with a blanket, a cup of tea, and Clueless.

But sometimes, romantic Y/A goes too far.

Today, for the first time in my life, I watched "Gone with the Wind".

My parents immediately dropped out within the first ten minutes, but I stayed, because I was fascinated with its parallels between romantic Y/A, as well as romantic dramas produced today, such as Reign.

And here is my break-down:

GONE WITH THE WIND: THE ORIGINAL ROMANTIC Y/A

Study conducted by Lemony Snickerdoodles

1. The main female protagonist is portrayed as physically beautiful. To really emphasize this point, the film/book must establish that she is adored by all the boys in her vicinity.

Literally, in Gone with the Wind, Scarlett O'Hara is seen surrounded by a crowd of men worshiping her:

Nowadays, a romanticized ideal in romantic Y/A is the love triangle, to drive home the point to the young, insecure reader that to be desirable, all boys must love you, regardless of the inherent moral values you lose.

My personal favourite examples:

America, Maxon, and Aspen from The Selection Series

Bella, Edward, and Jacob from Twilight (duh)

and basically any romantic Y/A ever, even the "dystopian" ones

What really bothers me about this motif, is the audience of these novels and films are young, impressionable teen girls. It's incredibly toxic for these girls to form the mindset that the validation and love they deserve, must come from an outside source. This harmful ideal forms the foundation for many abusive relationships, or self-negativity/mental illnesses/body dysphoria that follows them into adulthood.

2. The main female protagonist is hated by all the other girls in the story.

In Gone with the Wind, the other girls literally slut-shame her, saying that the attractive ones burn out the quickest, that they are the ones that don't matter.

I'm not necessarily condoning Scarlett's behavior, as it is clear that she manipulates people or abuses other's praise of her beauty (pinching her cheeks in the mirror before going to see her love interest, arguing with her housekeeper/slave that she should be allowed to show off her shoulders because "she wants to party", and play with the men's hearts). She is incredibly immature and not a very likeable character, but the way she was portrayed and how her character was written speaks volumes about how women were viewed at the time. The fact that the author and screenwriter, as well as the production company (mostly men) couldn't be bothered to give her character more depth, or have any sort of growth, as well as alienating her from her fellow sex (to boost her allure to the opposite gender), is one-dimensional and absolutely lame.

What's even more lame, is that not much has changed.

Even in 2018, female protagonists (such as Willow in Dumplin', Anna in Anna in the French Kiss, etc.). These books, mainly written by female authours, continue to perpetuate this stereotype, encouraging girl hate amongst their young fans. They, as well as the society they reflect, teach girls that to be deemed attractive or to get the guy, or even get ahead in life, that they have to put others down. They teach that to be viewed as "cool" or viewed as an individual that they have to shame others for their personal self-expression.

3. The female protagonist's love life.

In Gone with the Wind, Scarlett confesses her love to a (visibly) older man, who is about to get married. She then marries Hamilton, a clumsy man who's desperately in love with her, just to spite him. She then cries during the wedding ceremony, because of how much she longs for the other man, and refuses to properly mourn during Hamilton's death.

In modern literature, we have not progressed much. (I'm looking at you, Anna and the French Kiss, The Selection Series, Love and Gelato). For some reason, emotional cheating is portrayed as "acceptable" and the victims of this cheating (i.e. Ellie or Etienne's girlfriend in Anna and the French Kiss) are portrayed as the villains. This also ties back to aforementioned girl hate debacle, and it's just absolutely ridiculous that this is viewed as a norm in teen literature, when in reality, it is heartbreaking and unnecessary cruel and teaches young teens that cheating is cool if "it's in the name of love". Like, it doesn't matter how attractive the other guy is. You have the moral responsibility to own up to your thoughts and actions, and break up with them politely and be honest about your feelings. These tropes just cultivate toxic and abusive relationships in readers and viewers.

4. The way other races are portrayed.

Now, I know that this movie was made in the 1940s and it was amazing and great that they got black actors, as well as Hattie McDaniel being the first black actress to win an Oscar, and yes, I know that it was the South, but it was a little upsetting how the film (made almost a hundred years after the Civil War ended) showed young black girls fanning the sleeping, immature white women, and it seems ridiculous that this book/film was made 15 years or so before To Kill a Mockingbird, or how it was "groundbreaking" to portray other races as more than props to meet a quota. I do applaud how it highlighted the racist stereotypes of the time, but it is disappointing that this radical progress has been delayed in modern times.

In modern Y/A, other races and cultures deviating from "white, straight male" are still portrayed as background noise, or written as if to satiate a checklist. There is no heart, no character building involved, just a description of their skin color and one basic hobby (she's black and she likes drawing). It feel unnatural and it's harmful for the product's young audience to view their own culture as unattractive, or incapable of being the star of a story. It's completely unacceptable today, when more than ever, we should be pushing for the equality and publicity every single American deserves.

#gone with the wind #film critique #blogger #blog post #y/a

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ofcloudsandstars · 5 years ago

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Celestial Forecast

Week 27-2

Sorry the forecast is a bit late! It has been a hectic time and I also have been taking a lot of energy into adding some other celestial bodies to the forecast that I find pretty important. So expect to now see some transits of the lovely and devoted Juno, the erotic and fiery Eros, the deeply troubling chiron, the nurturing Ceres and alignments with the mysterious yet vitalizing Sedna. They are the other planetary bodies I pay attention to though most astrology sites don't so I have to like actually look them up on ephemeris and do MATH and stuff to figure out their current transits and aspects (I have to do MATh can you believe??!?)

ANYWAY about the energy of this week- it's not going to be the smoothest week unfortunately. There will be a lot of aspects that will force us to look at ourselves and where we may feel betrayed or hold pain. This may be a tumultuous time for many unstable relationships or when painful memories from the past could resurface. It will be a great time to spend time alone and self reflect instead of taking immediate action or socializing. Towards the end of the week the flow starts to get better.

Note: I post this mostly for a witchy community in London so the time is GMT and the weeks start on mondays and end on sundays.

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27th

Venus (Pisces) conjunct Neptune (Pisces) moon in pisces

Energy: The energy of this transit brings a lovely dreamy day. Venus and Neptune together (at one point conjunct with the moon in Pisces) will bring a day of idealism, day dreams and romantic fantasies. It's not the best day to get intense work done as you might not feel motivated. It will be a day that can bring about potential new romance that can sweep two people off their feet yet the dangers with this and mysterious neptune is if you ignore any red flags they might pop up later which could lead to disappointments. Compassion is at a higher level now and it's a great day to aim to solve disputes or patch up any tension that the venus and mars square of yesterday could have caused in relationships.

Recommended Magic: Love magic, love attraction magic, sweetening spells, peace spells, expression through art, bath magic (especially bath self-love magic, bonus if you add in flower petals)

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28th

Mars in Sagittarius squares the Neptune and Moon conjunction in Pisces

Energy: Today may feel like a harsh opposite of the day before. Mars squaring Neptune can bring a vibe of paranoia, jealousy and suspicion along with low energy, deceit and scandal. It's normal to feel discouraged under this influence or even guilty of your past actions. With the driven influence of mars making the tension with the illusions of neptune this is not a great day to make the first move on big projects or get involved in drama. With the emotional moon involved you might even have feelings arise of shame or past aggressive or self destructive actions that may come back to haunt you. It's a good day to reflect on healing or channeling this energy in personal creative projects that need inspiration and imagination.

Recommended Magic: protection spells, warding, shadow work, meditation, making healthy tea potions

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29th

(Moon VOC 12:08am until 10:50am) moon transitions to Aries and conjuncts chiron in Aries

Energy: The energy of yesterday may be carried on to today with the moon restarting in Aries and triggering Chiron in it's transit. Emotions may feel more dramatized and with the fiery aries placement it may encourage us to spill out our darker feelings which could lead to regret later. It's important to try to reflect on this transit to heal the shadows within instead of wallowing in it or ignoring it so that it may pour out and leave us vulnerable in situations that we may regret later. The mars and neptune square of yesterday could have stirred the pot to bring up resentful feelings that fiery aries would demand action on. Whatever you may decide to do with that energy, take the time to breathe and reflect and check the facts so you may make wise decisions.

Recommended Magic: Shadow Work, self love magic, protection magic, shielding, bath cleansing magic, free-writing venting in a journal

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30th

moon in aries

Energy: The past few days would be more ideal to sit and reflect and not take action (especially due to the celestial positions that could ensure the actions could produce negative results) yet today would be a great day to begin something new and start fresh! Channel the energy to do something energetic or spontanious. If you celebrate the winter cross quarter, Candlemas or Imbolc then take today as an intitiave to use the energy to plan rituals, decorate and get everything together. Make Candles!! It's a fantastic tool in fire magic and perfect for the crossquarter. Decorate your space in lots of lights and bring in the energy to welcome the returning light in winter time.

Recommended Magic: Fire magic, candle-making, planning new ideas, fire scrying

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31st

Imbolc Eve

Moon in Aries

VOC 2:09pm-11:28am

Energy: If you celebrate Imbolc, Winter Crossquarter or Candlemas then today will feel pretty exciting with the moon in Aries. Make enchanted and anointed candles, open windows, cleanse the space with herb smoke bundles and floor washes. Take care to any open flames as with the moon in excitable aries fire may have a bit more gusto and can lead to unfavorable accidents. Buy a ridiculous assortment of cheeses. If you are vegan then buy a ridiculous assortment of plant-based milks. Why not it's the sabbat to do so and with an impulsive aries moon no one can tell you what to do! If you plan to do spells by releasing intentions I'd recommend doing them in the morning before the moon goes void of course. The evening would be better to focus on cleansing the home and self. If you live in east coast USA or west coast the moon will be VOC for most of the day until 6PM EST or 3PM PT so releasing intentions could be better in the evening.

Recommended Magic: fire magic, candle magic, candle making, channel high energy into cleaning and cleansing. Sex magic, sowing seeds of intention. Take a cleansing ritual milky bath (if you celebrate imbolc), making magic floor washes or smoke bundles and cleanse and ward the home, burn rosemary, juniper or sage, cleanse the space with ringing chimes,

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1st

Imbolc - Winter Crossquarter

First Quarter Moon in Taurus

Ceres moves to Aquarius

Energy: Imbolc the sabbat reflecting on the light returning and setting intentions/sowing seeds for the year to come perfectly lands on the first quarter moon in Taurus!! The first quarter moon is the lunar phase that frames the period of waxing light building up to the full moon as Imbolc is symbolic of the light returning and building up to the lighter half of the year. The first quarter moon (and the waning phase between it and the full moon) is ideal for sowing seeds (metaphorically as in setting intentions) and is great for attraction spells. If you want to manifest new opportunities, jobs, money or love, doing attraction magic on the first quarter could help and the phase between it and the full moon can build up the energy to help it come to fruition. Taurus is fantastic for stability and prosperity so it could be a good time to focus on prosperity magic. With Ceres moving into aquarius, our sense of nurture and support can be satisfied with having freedom and being accepted for our uniqueness and individuality. We will also feel happier with our sacrifices can help bigger causes. If you use today to sow seeds of intention for the future then aim to fulfill your dreams no matter how off-the-beaten-path they might feel.

Recommended Magic: Burning bayleaves to make wishes come true, candle magic, prosperity candles, green magic - sowing actual seeds and watering them with intentions that can reflect on areas of life that you would like to grow or prosper, visualization spells, candle flame scrying

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2nd

Venus (Pisces) sextile Pluto (Capricorn)

Moon aligned with Sedna in Taurus

Energy: Love becomes more intense or deepens with this transit. Our relationships will be effected as we will feel a longing to share love on a deeper level. This may create a desire to connect with loved partners through sex or deeper spiritual means. Companionship will feel important under this transit and if you are single you might find a new obsessive crush or obsessive desire created under this transit. The moon in Taurus will align with Sedna that may either bring up feelings of bitterness that could mask a deeper need to feel nutured and feel secured in love or it could give us the incentive to want to nurture our loved ones and help them feel secure. Focusing on deep soul-level healing love magic would be recommended on the day.

Recommended Magic: Shadow work, healing deep love wounds, nurturing ourselves or loved ones with love magic, sex magic, meditation, love attraction magic

#celestial forecast #astrology #chiron #witchcraft #magic #spells #imbolc

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thenewarkdiaries-blog · 8 years ago

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The Oculus

Picture it: New York City. 2017.

Setting: Outside The Oculus, headed towards the PATH train to Dirty Jersey.

Like any self-respecting New Yorker (I was born there, spent my early childhood there, and lived there for quite a while as an adult before being lured to New Jersey... so despite not having grown up in the 5 boroughs I feel I can rightly lay claim to this identifier), I avoid certain areas like the plague.

The Bowling Green Bull? Nah.

The High Line on the weekend? Would rather die.

The Statue of Liberty tour? Y’all know the ferry goes RIGHT by there, right?

Times Square... ever? You can screw right off with that nonsense.

In addition to these universal “Hard No” locations, every New Yorker has a personal list of places/things they just won’t deal with. My personal list includes never, ever riding an MTA bus, steering clear of Magnolia Bakery no matter how much my friends insist we get cupcakes from there (it’s just so overrated), and avoiding the 9/11 Memorial at all costs. Though most of the things on my “Hard No List” are somewhat frivolous and born of my own hang ups and general cantankerousness, my issue with stepping foot near the last place on my list is rather nuanced.

I strongly feel that the place where the Twin Towers once stood is hallowed ground. People, lots and lots of people, lost their lives there. On the morning of September 11th thousands of people-- good people at work, or who had caught a flight to some place or another-- perished in a truly terrifying, horrific, and unimaginable way. On top of that, people trying to help others escape lost their lives. It ought to be a place of solemnity and reflection. It ought to be a place where people come together to learn about and practice tolerance and love.

It shouldn’t be a place where vendors sell grossly overpriced tee shirts and tourists take smiling, thumbs up selfies.

It shouldn’t be a place where a literal mall masquerading as a transit hub sits feet away and caters to the ridiculously rich/relatively tacky (real talk- who exactly is buying an extremely expensive, luxury watch or purse 30 feet away from the PATH train? Who are these people, exactly? What are their lives like that they can’t go to a store not in a train station or order stuff online?).

In short, I avoid the 9/11 Memorial because I find the commercialization and tourist attraction-ification of the whole area to be absolutely disgusting.

So, you can imagine my chagrin when the cab I had taken from one of the museums further uptown dropped me off on the West Side Highway rather than Church Street when I requested a ride to the PATH station. Being a 90 degree and high humidity day, walking in anything other than a direct route from the cab to the train was simply out of the question... which meant I was faced with the unenviable task of walking through the entire 9/11 Memorial site in the height of tourist season.

I’m non-plussed (and not in the American sense) by the situation, but trudge along, ducking tourists and selfie sticks from all directions.

I make it to the turn towards Vessey Street and, looking down to check the time on my phone, run smack into a truly gorgeous man in a suit. I’m left breathless, partly because he had knocked the air from me but also partly because his beauty left me unable to think enough to breathe. In those brief moments between contact and when my wits returned, I pictured a life with this man. We got married and had a kid and moved to a lovely working farm upstate where we made our own cider and hosted Halloween hayrides for the locals.

When I came back to Earth, I manage to look up at the man and give a shy half-smile. I mumble an apology and he asks if I’m okay. I say that I am and smile more broadly, thinking to myself that this is the adorable story I’ll someday tell our grandkids when they ask how we met. The man in the suit smiles back and asks where I was going in such a hurry. I reply that I was headed to catch a train and apologize, as I had clearly interrupted his return to work following his lunch break. The man replies that he had a meeting, but it’s now over and tells me his name, asking mine in the process. I tell him. We both chuckle and smile. I’m fairly certain I already love him as he asks me if I’d like to get a drink. It’s a bit early for booze, so I suggest a coffee shop nearby. He agrees. He says that he just needs to do something first. I look at him inquisitively. He lifts his arm to show me that he had been carrying something that I hadn’t noticed.

It’s a selfie stick.

I blink a few times in confusion. The man says that he came to New York for a few meetings and has always wanted to see the 9/11 Memorial. He says that he had just purchased the selfie stick and was incredibly excited to test it out. He says that he thinks the area was dope and asks if I’d been there or to the Oculus before. He then states that he wanted to go shopping there too, if I had the time.

My face contorts in confusion. I’ve never been any good at hiding my disdain.

The man smiles again and asks if the coffee shop takes Euros, but then thinks twice of it and says that I should probably just pay because he wants to be sure that he has enough money on hand to buy some I <3 NY shirts and such. He also says that I could buy him a slice of real New York pizza.

I hurriedly look down at my phone. I tell the man that I really can’t miss my train and that I should be going. I brush past him and continue on my way to the PATH train, detouring to the coffee shop down the street to get an iced tea to go.

Outcome: paid for my own drink, didn’t get hoodwinked into doing touristy nonsense or buying food for a strange man.

#Newark #diaries #dating #true story #Newark Diaries #oculus #nyc #manhattan #new york #tourist #will die alone #damn good iced tea tho

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