#this blog would mostly be a resource for me when i don’t want to cook

[itstimeforstarwars]

One of these days I’m gonna follow through on actually making that recipe blog for people who don’t want to cook or don’t really have a kitchen. “This recipe is so easy! It only takes 30 minutes, chopping six vegetables, and keeping herbs alive until you need them” no. Here’s how to make dinner with nothing but a couple of canned items and a microwave. And a bowl, because if you put a metal can in a microwave you will not have a microwave.

[littlefireofhestia]

hi! i'm sage and i was going through the "hestia devotee" tag and found a post of yours that said you were open for questions about her. i don't know how old that post is or if you're still taking questions, you can ignore this if you're not, but since i'm here i wanted to talk/ask about something.

i'm a baby witch (like the babiest of babies, almost a new born) and most of my experience is through reading and watching since i don't currently have time or resources to do any practice other than lighting incenses or candles or working with crystals. and i definitely don't know any form of divination, like tarot or pendulum, that would allow me to do actual deity work and properly communicate with them.

the thing is, i've researched deities from multiple pantheons multiple times, mostly out of curiosity, but the moment i came across a prayer to hestia my heart skipped a beat and i immediately felt a kind of comfort. it could have been nothing, but i still researched all i could about her and just. i've never felt this drawn to a deity before, much less felt a pull to actually worship one. but i feel very much that way about her.

i looked up ways to honour her and i'm genuinely shocked at how happy it's been making me. i'm finding joy in domestic activities i used to loathe, like washing the dishes or helping with house cleaning. i tried baking a cake all by myself for the first time and lit an orange candle for her while doing it. it turned out absolutely delicious, i discovered i actually really enjoy baking and even started my own cook notebook with some of my grandma's old recipes. i make a point to always tie my hair back when i'm doing something that makes me think of her or in her honour, like making tea or baking or making dinner for my family or cleaning, because i saw people talking about how she appreciates veiling but i don't know how to do it so i just tie my hair in a bun instead of putting on a scarf. and i used to hate tying my hair, but now i feel very good about it!

i've always struggled with feeling connected to religion and never really understood how that could bring peace to someone, but i haven't felt this grounded or loving towards my family and pets or in peace with myself as much as i have since i started doing things as acts of devotion to hestia.

now, on to the actual problem: i'm scared it's all in my head. i'm worried i'm not enough of a witch to worship a deity yet, since i'm still trying to learn ways of communication and can't directly ask her if she's with me. i'm scared that the little things i'm doing aren't enough and the comfort and faith i feel while doing them are my imagination and not actually her watching over me and appreciating my effort.

anyways, i'm really sorry for dumping these worries on you but i didn't see many hestia related blogs and i really needed to ask someone about this. is what i'm doing enough of a worship right now? do you have any tips on how to worship her better? thank you!

Hi Sage! I don’t know when you sent this ask so I’m sorry if it’s been a while since you sent it and my response is late. When I read this ask for the first time I nearly cried tears of joy. Before anything I do want to say that you’re doing amazing sweetie!

I’m always open to questions about Hestia.

First off, there is no prerequisite to worshipping deities. I am admittedly not a witch and worship the gods exclusively for religious reasons and not for witchcraft. I have not learned many divination methods yet (although I have used the very handy Greek Alphabet Oracle a few times) and my rituals are still relatively basic, mostly not even occurring on an altar. But I have felt Hestia. I have been in her presence. I have received dreams from other deities and signs. None of this is required to happen to believe in or worship the theoi, but I just want to assure you that beyond doing some research to figure out who you want to pray to and how to do prayer and ritual, there are no prerequisites to worship. My first prayer to Hestia was literally me throwing a scarf over my head and talking to her in the dark with a flashlight to represent a flame. No formal structure. Didn’t even know how to correctly hold my hands yet. And still she accepted me.

The vibe you get from Hestia is very much similar to my experience. I’ve been drawn to her for YEARS but didn’t know I could worship her. But she’s always felt like home and comfort and just right for me. I never ever had a reason why she was my favorite deity before becoming pagan. She just was. My connection to Hestia has been a fact for over a decade that I just didn’t know was religious until a year and a half ago. Me wondering if I could worship her is the reason why I started researching Hellenic Polytheism in the first place. She brought me to this faith and I am so thankful to her for that.

You finding joy in domestic activities you used to hate is something I’ve discovered through Hestia too, although it’s still a journey I’m early on due to depression and physical disability and having a lot of work to do on figuring out how to make things accessible for me. I’m excited to go further for and with Hestia.

I understand the thought about it being all in your head. I had those thoughts early in my practice too. Basically, belief is a process. It takes time to switch from whatever religious thought (or lack thereof) that you grew up with to polytheism and worshipping a variety of deities or even just one deity, and from there to truly believing in them. I’ve been practicing for a year and a half and it probably took me at least nine months to truly feel secure in my faith in the theoi. Research, pray, do ritual, devote acts to the gods, think about the gods, notice the influence of the theoi in your daily life, and gradually that belief will solidify. You may or may not receive signs, which may or may not speed this process up. I promise, if you want to believe in the gods, in Hestia, it just takes time.

Also on feeling that you aren’t doing enough, the video at the bottom of this post (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odhRRYqQo8Y) might help. And I promise: you are doing enough, you are enough, just as you are.

Now as for worship tips. You are honestly doing great so far. Thinking of her while doing household chores and tasks or dedicating those tasks for her is a great way to worship her. I’d also recommend checking out her Homeric and Orphic hymns, one translation of which can be found here, and a copy of the Homeric hymns can likely be found at a local bookstore or definitely through online ordering. The Homeric hymns can also start to teach you some stuff about prayer structure, but prayer doesn’t have to be formal. Sometimes I just sit and talk to Hestia, or to any of my other deities. Tell them about my day, thank them for things in my life or the world, and sometimes asking them for things (although I find that I ask for aid much more rarely than when I prayed as the Catholic I was raised to be). I also have perpetually in progress playlists I have made for my deities, and if I want to spend some non-ritual time just focusing on a deity I’ll put on their playlist and read something religious or talk in religious discords. I actually had my most profound spiritual experience with Hestia while doing this.

Last but not least, worshipping Hestia, or any other deity, is something you have your whole life ahead of you to do. Take it at your own pace. Faith is all about the journey. The destination is irrelevant. There is no deadline or leveling up system, no authority checking your progress. As I have experienced time and time again, the gods will very much meet you where you are. A few months ago I was in a deep depression and did not do any ritual for several months. When I finally did a ritual again, I felt Hestia’s warm hand on my shoulder, as if to say “I miss you, welcome home”. I promise, Hestia will always welcome you home.

P.S. I know this ask is anonymous but Sage, feel free to message me with any additional questions about Hestia or worshipping deities in general. I’m here if you need any more help.

[thepettymachine]

A Different Kind of Jam Legacy Challenge for TS3

Honestly I just wanted to make another challenge that involved colors and had a theme but then it changed into something completely different so I thought I share. 

The Jam Legacy is a 9 generation legacy challenge based on fruits you can put into jams/jellies and has a specific color palette if you choose to go with it. Each generation is a quirky bunch and meant for some weird gameplay. So if you enjoy weird gameplay, nice fall colors, and maybe 9 generations of fun, this might be your jam.

For those who wish to do this in TS4, @nadzicle​ created an excellent conversion  of this.

Tag: jam legacy or “@” me

Rules:

All requirements that are needed for the generation are in the “Ingredients” section. 

Have fun and do what you want.

Gen 1: Strawberry

Everyone loves strawberries. They are sweet and popular just like you. You love getting to talk and meet new people at every chance you get and everyone loves how friendly you are. But your desire to help people has been the main driving point in your life. As you tend to others, you also tend to neglect taking care of yourself. As a workaholic, your house is a mess, your children don’t get to see you anymore, and your personal life is in shambles. Need to take some PTO if you ask me. 

How to make Strawberry:

Ingredients:

Career: Doctor

LTW: Super Popular

2 Traits - Workaholic & Slob

20 Friends

Skill - Charisma

Directions:

Must have the Workaholic and Slob traits

Have 20 friends and maintain those relationships until the next generation.

Neglect your children’s skills (No teaching toddler skills, helping with homework or teaching teens to drive)

Can only clean the house once a week.

Must cancel any other interaction and no outside help

Master the Charisma skill

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Gen 2: Peach

Peaches are nice and juicy, just like your creative process. You enjoy creating as it brings joy to you and those around you. But as a child, your parents neglected you as they were focused on anything and everything but you. So you found love from others and in other places where you felt like you mattered. You deserve a treat and you also treat your children to whatever they want. They’re spoiled rotten.  

How to make Peach:

Ingredients: 

Career: Self Employed (Painter/Writer/Sculptor)

LTW: Illustrious Author

3 skills - Painting, Sculpting, and Writing

10 Lovers

Found Family

5,000 dollars

Children

Directions: 

Master the Painting, Sculpting, and Writing skills.

Have 10 different lovers throughout your lifetime/at the same time

Go to the spa/stylist once a week because you deserve it

Have a maximum of 5,000 in household funds. Any amount over you spend on unnecessary items/furniture/activities

Have a close relationship with your children (spoil them rotten)

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Gen 3: Grape

You’ve always had a dream where you had a big beautiful ranch that would allow for you to take care of your horses in peace as you flaunt your wealth to those who envy you. But working hard for that money is just too much of a hassle unless someone has already done the work for you. If you want to maintain your dream, I guess you gotta marry big or have them die trying. In the meantime, you invest your money into the local businesses around town and have a side gig for nectar making. Then invite those haters to your ranch only for them to be reminded just how much better you are than them. Have a sip of that wine.

How to make Grape:

Ingredients:

Career: Equestrian

LTW: The Jockey

Skills: Nectar Making, Mixology, and Riding

3 pieces of property

2-3 horses

A ranch

Directions:

Own a ranch/farm that’s worth more than $150,000+

Have 2-3 horses

Master the Nectar Making, Mixology, and Riding skills

Host a big party at least once a week

Own 3 pieces of property in town

Win a competition on the highest level for Racing

Marry a rich sim and have them mysteriously die from unknown circumstances

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Gen 4: Plum

You’ve always believed that the universe has the answers to the questions you’ve always wondered. Like why is the sky blue? What really happened to Bella Goth? Was my parent really killed for the insurance money or the inheritance of the ranch? Sometimes these questions are left unanswered which is why you investigate the truth, supernatural or not, because it is waiting out there to be solved. Might as well document it for the views. 

How to make Plum:

Ingredients:

Career: Private Investigator

LTW: Pervasive Private Eye

Skills: Logic and Social Networking

A 5 star blog

1 death

1 death flower

A death cure (ambrosia & death fish)

Directions:

Master the Logic and Social Networking skill

Have a 5 star blog

Have a death flower in your inventory so you can meet the Grim Reaper and beat death once

Have a sour relationship with your living parent and bring back your dead parent (if you can/applicable)

Be turned into a supernatural and then find the cure to be turned back (optional to be human again)

Be abducted by aliens and have an alien child.

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Gen 5: Pumpkin

There’s always been an obsession with finding ways to tinker and fix things with you. You’ve always  found comfort in creating something with your bare hands and you tend to enjoy your own company and make few friends since you live far away from everyone else. It’s mostly because you need the space for your inventions and experiments with time travel. Wait what?!You also pride yourself by living off your own land and deciding not to feast on your animal companions you find in the wilderness as they are your only friends.

How to make Pumpkin

Ingredients: 

Career: Inventor

LTW: Renaissance Sim

Skills: Inventing, Handiness, and Science

3 children

5 woodland creatures

Trait: Vegetarian

Directions:

Master the Inventing, Handiness, and Science skills

One of your children have to be from the time machine

No more than 3 kids in the household

House must be as far away from the town as possible

Own at least 5 small pets in your home.

Everything you cook must come from your garden, so no grocery shopping from the fridge

Must have the Vegetarian trait.

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Gen 6: Pomegranate

As a child, you’ve always wanted to see the sights and travel from your little corner of the world. But your heart has always yearned for a big family you never received for when you were younger. To have two worlds come together, you decide to do most of your traveling in spring/summer and stay at home in the fall/winter seasons. When you’re at home, you spend time with your children and cook their favorite meals all while joined by the fire. And when you’re not at home, you are traveling those big adventures you’ve always dreamed of doing and to bring home the stories and souvenirs your loved ones will enjoy. What a good life indeed.

How to make Pomegranate:

Ingredients:

Career: Stay at Home Parent

LTW: Seasoned Traveler

5 children

Skill - Cooking

Directions:

Spouse has to be from a different world than you

Have 5 children and have a great relationship with all of them

Master the Cooking skill

Celebrate each holiday at least once.

Cook everyone’s favorite meal at least once

Own a complete collection of artifacts from any destination

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Gen 7: Orange

Listening to stories growing up about meeting new people and exploring new worlds has put the call of adventure into your heart. But with the limited time in this world and so many resources on your hands, you’re kinda indecisive about what to do. So basically you just do about everything on an impulsive whim. Joined a band, check. Streak in public, check. Fought a shark, check. Got eaten by a cowplant and lived, check. Turn everybody into a zombie, thought about it. Go to the future and create a dystopian future, oh there’s an idea. Yeah you’re not settling for a while. Not until you find your greatest adventure.

How to make Orange:

Ingredients:

LTW: Jack of all Trades

1 best friend

10 skills

10 jobs

3 moves

1 great adventure

Directions:

Know 10 skills but never master any of them

Spend your life finding the greatest adventure that no one else in your family has done before.

Greatest adventure is defined by you and what you believe is an adventure.

Marry your best friend as an adult

Move 3 times in your lifetime

Have at least 10 jobs under your belt (but you don’t have to reach the highest level in any of them)

Do the most dangerous inappropriate stuff at least 3 times a week.

Streaking/Skinny dipping/making out with a married person/fighting a child/etc

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Gen 8: Kumquat

You can’t stand the status quo of things and you definitely can’t stand the injustice that society normalizes. So something has to change, rather through art or always fighting the system, you believe in changing the world. One step at a time. 

How to make Kumquat

Ingredients:

LTW: Street Credible

Rebel Status

2 local protests

1 skill - Street art

3 enemies

1 change to the world

Directions:

Pull pranks as a teenager on all your neighbors

Get kicked out of college

Reach level 10 of the Rebel status

Protest at least 2 times a week

Master the Street art skill

Have 3 enemies

Can not have a typical career/9-5 job

Contribute to the future - create a utopia/dystopia for the future, become a politician as an adult or become a teacher to teach the youth. Up to you. 

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Gen 9. Blackberry

Growing up, you’ve learned how to always fight for the things you love. Through the strums of your guitar, you’ve created a melody that others can get behind when they are sad, angry, or happy. It’s the battle cry of your performance and the applause of the crowds that keep you going. It’s just that sometimes you wish you had someone to keep you going when things get rough as well. At least you have your bandmates, right?

How to make Blackberry

Ingredients:

LTW: One Sim Band

Career: Band member/Singer

4 Skills: Guitar, Drums, Piano, and Bass

2 failed relationships

1 comeback tour

1 true love/soulmate

Directions:

Master the Guitar, Drums, Piano, and Bass Skills

Create/Join a Band

Have 2 failed relationships before finding the one

True Love Checklist - Attractive, Compatible Sign, 2 similar traits, and the Virtuoso trait

Become a 5 star celebrity

Quit the band to have a solo career as a Singer

Reunite as elders for your comeback tour

Thank you for trying this challenge. Feedback is always welcomed.

Edit: 10/22/21

[more-than-a-princess]

@despairfiles​ asked:  ship or dip + talk about our Sonia x Shirou agenda

send “ship or dip + a ship” for mun to tell you if they ship it or not! (Accepting!)

Well, for starters, it’s the only ship on this blog with a moodboard/starter pack/memes for the ship. That makes it pretty darn special (and full of discourse).

So yes, of course I ship it!

Sonia/Shirou is one of the best examples as to why I pause, stare, and sigh dramatically whenever I see blogs post something along the lines of “no crossover/OC ships.”

Because you lot don’t know what you’re missing when you mash up fandoms and bring in new crossover and original characters to your muses’ world(s). Heck, even I was skeptical at first as to how Fate and Danganronpa would coexist in a single universe but Sin and I have made it work (with a lot of plotting, OOC chats, and ‘THEM. IT’S THEM’ spam posts on Discord. Discord is best for chatting OOC/plotting/yelling at me about our muses. Love Discord. Embrace Discord).

So let’s state the obvious: Sonia and Shirou are, generally, cheerful and pleasant people to be around and they’re both pretty. Both are open-minded people, with Sonia having more of a tendency to lead and Shirou, in my opinion, is simply happy to go with the flow. And if we’re going by at least the FSN and UBW storylines, they’ve both traveled outside of their home countries and (mostly) appreciate the experience (some of the hell they’ve both seen aside, at least in canon). 

But it’s not just their friendliness, their good looks, and their adventurous sides that draw me to this ship: the big reason why I see Sonia and Shirou getting along so well is that they both, without fail (as long as they’re both in their right minds), think of and help others before they consider themselves. That sort of selflessness is a big reason as to why I see Sonia being so attracted to Gundham initially (common interests aside), and that’s something she looks for in potential partners whether she realizes it or not. For as much as Shirou can cook, clean, and maintain a very handsome appearance, it’s his kind and giving heart that truly attracts Sonia. The other qualities are nice, but what moves her is how willing he is to want to make the world a better place.

Which can be at his own detriment. But he’s not alone in that: Sonia too feels the same. She’ll let herself suffer in order to bring comfort, inspiration, and/or resources to her friends, family, and citizens of Novoselic. If anything will make their relationship rocky, it’s giving too much of themselves to others and not putting themselves first when they need it. I don’t think Sonia and Shirou will ever really suffer from not understanding each other (naivete and himboness aside), but they’ll be so preoccupied wanting to give the other what they think they want...when they themselves may not be forthcoming about their own wants and needs.

And of course: Sonia won’t starve, Shirou will have a home with her, and both of them can and will show each other more unconditional love than they know what to do with. It doesn’t matter if they’re royalty or heroes of justice: they just love and appreciate each other. And that’s what matters.

PS - It’s also a joy to be able to write this ship in various verses and in various places! I can get burned out pretty easily on Japan and Hope’s Peak in ships/plots/adventures, so being able to fling these two in various places around the world is such fun. Tropical paradise? Yes. French Riviera? Most likely coming. London? It’s us. Probably. Italy? Please?

Though if you really want to poke at the trope of ‘Sonia screws up in America every. damn. time,’ Sonia and Shirou could always pay a visit to the USA...

[greylunar]

PLEASE do in depth analyses of all of the houses for your quiz I was enraptured reading the gryffindor one and I didn’t even get gryffindor

JUST FOR YOU ANON, I am going to compile the sort of Final Breakdown of every house, in my opinion, that you get at the end of the quiz now. Theres more in-depth analysis of specific questions under each house’s tag on my blog, and you can feel free to ask more specifics of course bUT here is the masterpost of that c:

A Hufflepuff is, unlike a Ravenclaw or a Gryffindor, an internal house. I know what you must be thinking, “how can you be the house of loyalty if you’re an internal house?” Puffs have a small network, Their People, maybe friends, maybe family, maybe friends who are family, maybe an assortment of small pets or animated characters. While Slytherins also have Their People, they have resources and associates to draw from when their bored, whereas the term associates exhausts a Hufflepuff. Spending time with people they don’t love doesn’t ever sit quite right, although they will often do it in an attempt to make folks happy. Hufflepuffs yes, are a house of kindness and of love, but unlike Gryffindors when it comes down to it they don’t have to go out of their way for kindness and love. Gryffindors will seek out situations in which they can do good. Hufflepuffs good is smaller (not lesser) in which they will do as much good as they can for the people directly in their line of sight, but when granted with the great expanse of the world it is easy for them to shrink in on themselves and not be able to cope. That said, they have so much love to give out, and will often want all their love in one place, slightly selfish but mostly excited collectors of people. If your version of the ideal future is a vague image of all the people you love in your house for [insert holiday] that is a very Hufflepuff sentiment. Hufflepuffs, like Gryffindors, are inherent/intrinsic worth folks. Hufflepuffs know who they are, or at least how they define themselves. Their moral code may not be their local government’s law (and actually very often isn’t), but it does exist and is rigid, and puffs won’t go against it unless incredibly pressed. This is a point of contention with Slytherins and Ravenclaws, and even Gryffindors who feel like they have to perform/validate their identity and choices through others. Hufflepuffs are themselves, and no one else, completely and quietly. They love their People. They want to build a home for them. That isn’t to say that puffs are necessarily gentle pushovers. A huge component of Punk and Anti-fascists align themselves with Puffs because they are So themselves and So invested in the safety and well-being of their people and community. Like slytherins, hufflepuffs often know/feel they’re weird, and tend to relish in finding people as absurd and lovely as they are. They will forgive people, possibly too much. But quietly, they will shift the little orbit of the world around themselves to be a little kinder, a little gentler, for them and the people they love. Be kind to yourself. You do not have to be any bigger than you are.

Slytherins are linked to identity, changing themselves to meet their needs and the wants of the world around them. They have specific people that are Theirs, and their circle of Actual Trust may be rather small, even if their friend/associates/resources group is a wide network. Slytherins are tied to wanting, craving, and not necessarily in a bad way or in a way that’s “ambition”. Slytherins are a house made up of people who want something or someone or some goal desperately or are made up of a myriad of little wants, but also struggle with the idea of worth and whether or not they have done enough to deserve the things they want. Sometimes, these wants are secret. Slytherins are often caught up in this wanting and this worth, and cannot see that they are already loved, completely and wholly, for who they are. When you care for someone you care for them with all of you, you are inherently a protective house like hufflepuffs for those that you care about most, and for all your wanting so so so many of you are beautiful creators (the worlds and story ideas slytherins have just roaming around in their brains?? amazing!). My advice to slytherins, if I can give some without being asked hahaha oops, is to recognize that for all the shapeshifting of the self you do, you can be exactly who you want to be, if you just give yourself permission. Who would you be in a dark room without any mirrors? How would you dance? How would you dress, for just yourself? Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to change your life tomorrow. It just means, sometimes, starting in little ways, take back a little bit of ground from the world. “This part is me. This part is mine. You aren’t allowed to have it.” It can be quiet. But you are worth so much, and you are yours. You are just as much of a person as anyone else, and have already earned love, because you never had to earn it in the first place.

Gryffindors believe in innate worth, innate characteristics, sort of your personality is that way because That Is Who You Are. Similar to hufflepuffs in this way, anti-slytherin experience haha. Gryffindors, unlike Hufflepuffs, are an external versus internal change maker. Because of this, they are often more broadly idealistic than hufflepuffs (think range, although they both hold their core values very deeply, hufflepuffs are on a smaller more condensed scale whereas gryffs will spread themselves thinner. Puffs do not have to change the world, rather they create a Home in which to put their world into, whereas a lot of Gryffindors struggle with feeling that they aren’t doing Enough, not Enough good, not Enough love. That the failures of the world are in part because they haven’t done enough to help personally). Gryffindors are very solid with their identity. While slytherins/ravenclaws will see their body/their reflection in a mirror, a scientific fact of life or something they wish they could/can change and shape, Gryffindors (with some exceptions for gender, trauma, and mental illness) tend to be confused that there are answers other than “I see myself in the mirror.” However, Gryffs can be performative, because while they see themselves, they need to be told that they are going in the right direction, they need to be loved, they need to help. Gryffindors will lose themselves a bit in an empty room, in isolation, moreso than hufflepuffs or ravenclaws. They create and change the world around them FOR the world around them, and so the world can look at them and say “okay, you did it, its okay now.” In this way, they are closest to slytherins, seeking validation, seeking a legacy, even though they may not even do it/realize its for themselves. They do good, or they try to, based on how they have defined it for themselves. They will care for you with all of them, if you earn it. They will hold you. But the voice in their head says “am I sure that this is what good looks like. Am I sure that this is enough.” From your friendly neighborhood Hufflepuff, sometimes doing what you need to take care and save yourself is the best thing for the world. Maybe cook something, have a lil dance party. You are an important part of the world. Start small, and love that part the most. You can add on from there c:

Ravenclaws shape the world around them, and create, in order to create a world that better suits themselves and their goals, rather than Slytherins who shape and create/recreate themselves to suit the world, meaning they are an external house, creating and impacting in the world around them rather than in themselves. Unlike Gryffindors, the other external house, Ravenclaws do not feel as much pressure to be seen in a sort of grand legacy or entirely shape the world around them. They give and seek knowledge and creation because, in a very basic sense, they feel like they need to. In a way I’ve said it “I could not write poetry for 30 years and that wouldn’t mean I’m not a poet. I am a poet. That does not change.” But Ravenclaws will get restless if they don’t create if they don’t learn. Their legacy doesn’t mean that the whole world will remember them forever. Its that they will create/make/do something that will matter to even one person enough that they will be remembered. A lot of Ravenclaws feel tied to their Ravenclaw identity because they don’t quite know who they’d be if they weren’t the ‘intelligent one’ if you will. But Ravenclaws sometimes forget that they create beauty every day, learn things new and small every day, without even meaning to. Ravenclaws believe identity is created/forged/remade constantly as information is gathered, and often try to seem neutral, scared of sharing an opinion unless they’ve thought it through completely and are certain they should stand by it. Ravenclaws are often searching, looking for something bigger than them, as almost to prove they are small in comparison. Sometimes the best thing a Ravenclaw can do is realize that all those wonderful books and poems and pieces of art that make you dream of a fantasy world were made in this world. This place, so full of love, that gave them to you in order for you to love it back. A lot of ‘gifted kids’ put themselves in Ravenclaw, without realizing that it was the rest of the world that put them in Ravenclaw, and not something that they chose. If that’s the case, maybe now is the time to ask yourself who is it you want to be? The self is a construct loves, and a uquiz doesn’t define you. You define you. You’re so good at creating Ravenclaw friends. Create you. You’re already magnificent. You’re already worth it. Now its time to look at yourself and give some love to that self, to ask it what it wants to be. You are, more than anything else, your greatest masterpiece.

[docholligay]

Hullo! So, I got my first paycheck the other day, and I want to donate to a local food pantry, but my parents said no to donating cash, bc they said it would look like I'm doing the bare minimum. Would there be an item I could donate (canned meats, other shelf sgable proteins, anything really) that would be super helpful?

Firstly, please provide your parents with the following resources and push back on this idea. It’s wrong, it’s unhelpful, and spreading this idea around and allowing it to live and grow is a huge mistake that actively works against the best of what food banks can do. Food banks do “drives and donations” for the most part because people are more likely to do that than money, because people have a thing with wanting to decide EXACTLY what it is poor people get, which is why if organizations asked for gift cards or cash so poor people could buy their kids gifts themselves, they’d never get anything*. It’s for YOU, not the people being SERVED. 

(Which actually brings me to an important aspect of what your parents are saying. Is it most important what helps people, or what people think of you? Are the optics of virtue more important than the impact, and what does that say about us?) 

https://www.feedingamerica.org/hunger-blog/donating-food-food-bank-consider-cash-instead-canned-goods

https://www.npr.org/2011/11/22/142661882/a-case-for-cash-donations-instead-of-cans

https://lifehacker.com/donate-money-not-food-to-your-local-food-bank-1830561819 

If your parents are of the “Expecting me to fully read an article is an act of tyranny” types, I suggest this video from a FAVORITE TV show of mine, Adam Ruins Everything**

(I am assuming you are like, 16, given that this is your first paycheck and your parents can tell you no about this. But I would try! WE PREFER SHIT WE DON’T HAVE TO SORT)

But if you must: Think EXPENSIVE. 

Canned chicken breast (The kirkland kind is a very nice quality)

High QUALITY tuna or salmon. 

Alternative nut butters--these will often go to a family with a peanut-allergic kid, and are very expensive. 

Olive oil for cooking! I’ve missed this on some posts about food banks I’ve made, but decent olive oil is pricey, and so helpful for when you’re trying to make a meal out of this shit box because people won’t donate money. 

If your food bank accepts and distributes them: Diapers, formula. These are so so so expensive. 

BUT MONEY MOSTLY. 

*I was literally just talking to Nickels about this last night--I always play “cleanup crew” with Senior Services at the very tail end of Christmas time, and the ones that are left are always invariably “I would really like an Albertson’s gift card” BUYING YOUR OWN GROCERIES IS A FUCKING TREAT, when you generally rely on whatever you’re given. If 75 year old Frank wants to spend a $50.00 gift card on buying a steak, potatoes, a slice of cake, and a real nice bottle of wine for himself, he has my BLESSING. (Two of these is what I sponsored) 

**Doc, you love Adam Ruins Everything? The shock. The gasping. 

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 99

Here we have the aftermath of the Warlord Bowl. 

Here, we finally... FINALLY get to see Jokul as a person and not a far-off mysterious bad guy. Consciously, there was never any intent to compare Jokul to people who don’t understand how politics work: @zommbiebro​ isn’t even American, for one thing, and therefore neither is Jokul. However, reading it on the last pass before posting, I realized how it could be taken.

The part that isn’t relevant to the chapter: While I didn’t mean that comparison, please make sure you vote in any local elections available to you, if it doesn’t risk your life. No matter how much you feel your vote doesn’t matter, it does. If everyone who didn’t vote decided to do so, it would change the world.

In my own country, I’ll be taking time off work - because I have that ability - and taking local people to polls that ordinarily would be inaccessible to them within their district.

Back to the chapter relevant stuff: Thank you to @zommbiebro​ for giving me such a good character to play with, @charlylimph-blog​ for reading to ensure entertainment, and @baelpenrose​ for beta reading in every way that entails.

After a quick dinner at the first mess we came across - and true to my promise, I didn’t cook anything - Arthur, Antoine and I reconvened with Jokul in my office. As agreed, he brought only two of his own people, who sat on either side of him in a mirror to how I was bracketed by my own friends.

Unfortunately, they entered as I was mulling out loud the possibility of making hot pot for family dinner one night.  Even less fortunately, the ginger who I had thrown in the gym was one of the people who walked through my door while I was debating the logistics of meat versus vegetarian options.

“She doesn’t even take us seriously!” the nasal voice complained, interrupting me.

Simultaneously, several things happened. I opened my mouth to retort, Arthur put a hand over my mouth, Antoine pushed my shoulder back into the chair.

And Jokul spoke up.

“We agreed to meet with them if Farro beat me in combat.  He did, we are here, and there will be no further argument on the matter.” If anything, he sounded weary rather than angry. “She did not even request that we cease acting against her, only that we meet as equals. It is the least we can do.”

I didn’t even know forehead cramps were a thing until I gave myself one with the speed of my eyes widening. Slowly, Arthur lowered his hand so I could speak. “Right,” I coughed. “So, there are a few things I want to know.”

“Such as?” 

“Why am I your target?” I blurted out. Of everything, this was the one that was weighing heaviest on me. I felt if I could understand that, I would know how to tackle the rest. 

To my frustration, he fucking shrugged. “You are emblematic of everything that will destroy our chance at a new start,” he stated calmly, like he was telling me his name.

I sputtered before regaining my composure. “How? How am I doing something badly?”

“You only want to consolidate power, rule over the masses!” the red-haired toady honked at me.

The overblown statement and Jokul’s subsequent glare at his own man was a level of ridiculous I couldn’t handle at that moment.  Laughing ruefully, I wiped away a tear that warned me I was close to hysterical. “I don’t want to rule over anyone, dude.  If I had my preference, I would only decide what I want to eat once or twice  a week for the rest of my life.”

“But you rule over the Council,” Jokul pointed out in a confused tone.

“I don’t rule anyone, buddy. I am on the Council largely against my will, and mostly because no one else who is qualified even wants my job. Trust me, I’ve tried.” Gods had I tried.

His next statement was significantly less confident. “But you took the reins of power…”

“I am a glorified event coordinator and human resources officer. I have a staff of exactly two. One is my sister, who has been in her role longer than I’ve been in mine and only listens to me when it’s convenient. The other is my assistant, who is British as hell and listens to me on about equal level with my cat.”

“The Baconists! Your assistant was part of that rebellion! You must have known and hidden it from our hosts!” I had to give him some begrudging credit. Even he didn’t sound like he believed his own words, and if the smug look from Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber on either side of him was anything to go by, that wasn’t his own theory.

Time to set the record straight, it seemed. “Okay, quick reminder: that bitch tried to kill me,” I enunciated carefully, leaning forward as I spoke.  “She nearly succeeded. That wasn’t a cover up, it was her realizing that I talk to myself in the shower and listening long enough to hear me think through what was going on. As far as hiding her intent from our hosts… You’re only half right. Miys doesn’t read minds, contrary to what people think, they only read intent. That nutjob really did think she was doing the best thing for the universe by wiping humanity off the proverbial map. Nothing for Miys to pick up, she actually had what she thought were good intentions.”

“You have built yourself to be this legendary hero -”

“I didn’t build myself to be jack. Effing. Shit. If I had my preference, I would give you my position, and open a restaurant that does cooking classes.” When he opened his mouth to interject, I held up a hand to stop him. “Miys likes me because I talk to myself, even in my head, and so badly that they can still hear what I am saying when I don’t move my lips. I only survived being attacked by a crazy person because I treat the person who saved me like, you know, a person? Make sure he’s okay, give him his space when he wants it, sass him back when he wants to be sassy. It was just sheer, dumb luck, and I’m not even sure it was good luck, because voila!” I flung my hands wide at the current situation, forcing both Arthur and Antoine to duck. A quick glance at Antoine only rendered one of his eloquent shrugs. Must be handling the situation okay if he doesn’t think I need help.

I was less concerned with Arthur’s opinion, not because I didn’t care, but because I knew he would jump in when he felt it was needed, without prompting or permission.

“So you do not want to rule over us all?” Jokul asked carefully.

“I don’t even want to top one of my boyfriends consistently.”

“Sophia!” Antoine hissed with a miserable expression, while Arthur burst into a coughing fit. I wasn’t sure if the latter was trying to cover a laugh of choking. 

Jokul, on the other hand, seemed to take that at face value  “Then why are you in power? Explain that.”

With a heavy sigh, I tried again. “I’m not in power. Decisions are voted on by the Council. If someone brings me an idea for a class, or an architectural project, or a medical possibility, I pass it off to the Councilor who handles that and let it go from there.” Emphatically, I pointed at my own face. “Again, glorified events coordinator and HR.”

“And yet, you have your pet warlord sitting beside you. Explain that away,”Tweedledumb - the brunette on Jokul’s other side - accused.

I whipped my head to look at the subject of that statement before looking back across the table. “Arthur?” I asked, jerking a thumb in his general direction. “You do realize he’s a teacher first, right? Warlord out of need, but that ‘need’ was protecting the students in his history class when everything went to shit? Don’t get me wrong, we butted heads like you would not believe when we first met in person. But we realized halfway through what looked to be one hell of an argument that we knew each other for - fuck, like, a decade? Maybe less? - before the End. I didn’t ‘win him over.’ We just realized we’ve always been friends.” With a shrug I glanced back at Arthur, who also shrugged before nodding.

“Too convenient, Councilor.” Tweedledumb gloated. “You just happened to be friends with someone who - “

“Oh for FUCK’s sake!” Annnnd there it was.  Someone had reached his limit for diplomacy and stupidity. “We met on a fanfiction site writing a crossover of two of the worst pieces of science fiction ever written and mutually infected each other! FUCK!” Crossing his arms, he started muttering to himself. “Not like finding someone to kick your asses is hard…”

After a glare at the darker-haired idiot, and with an expression that looked like he was entirely regretting his choice of people for this meeting, Jokul schooled his features before addressing me directly. “Fanfiction?” he asked in a skeptical tone.

And the dirty truth comes out, I thought with another sigh. “StarDoc and Warhammer 40K, okay? It was fun, no fandom to cheese off, nothing smutty. Just… fun.” When the nostalgia threatened to overtake me, I shook my head vigorously. “The point is, we knew each other for years Before the world went to shit, and only realized when one of my friends landed in his class and there was a data error.  I don’t even like violence.” Antoine gave me a skeptical look so I clarified. “Usually.”

“And yet you are a combatant!” Jokul stated with certainty, clearly on more familiar ground.

Angrily, I scowled at Tweedle-the-ginger before leaning forward to look into Jokul’s eyes. “Look. I don’t know how it was in Canada, with your mooses and shit, but I really, really want to know: Do you honestly believe that anyone who got through the After did it without learning how to defend themselves? Even more, that any woman who made it, didn’t learn to fight dirty?”

“Not if you know how to have people defend you - “ Jokul tried before I cut him off.

“They don’t defend me because I’m helpless, let’s be clear. They defend me because I will only fight back if I know my life is on the line. But, on the same page, I will protect my friends and family from anything, without reserve, and die for them. No hesitation.” With a deep breath, I sat back rather than jumping over the table.  “I have my flaws, and my sister will tell you the biggest among those is that I trust too easily.  I assume the best in, literally, everyone.”

“Except smartass teacher, apparently,” Arthur said in a fake cough that fooled exactly nobody.

After making a face at my friend, I turned back to the moose in the room. “What that means is, I don’t try to defend myself until it is literally your life or mine. Or both. I don’t really care at that point, because I assume I’m not going to make it. I just want the person I’m fighting to go down with me.” Trying to imitate Charly’s most savage grin, I put on a forced-cheerful tone. “Now, tell me, Jokul. Who would rather have faced in that fight, knowing that?”

His eyes darted between Arthur and myself as he swallowed hard, mulling the implications of that. “You would kill and die for your friends’ safety and health, even if you would only protect yourself at the last moment?” Here, he scoffed. “There is nothing exceptional or even special about that. Many who were in power in the After felt the same.”

“Except I don’t want power,” I repeated in a tone that I previously reserved only for small children. “I just told you that.” In the corners of my eyes, I saw both of my friends nodding so hard I was concerned for their spines.

Before I could try to reason with Jokul any more, Arthur jumped in. “If you’re both done arguing righteousness, let me explain a few things. Jokull. First off, Soph actually doesn’t want to rule, or be on the Council. She told you this. She’s also bitched about it to me, her sister, and anyone else who will listen, at length. On top of being too trusting, her biggest flaw is actually an impulsivity problem, in general. But she’s not an autocrat.” As he gestured, I saw his eyes glaze over, his voice taking on a serene tone that was entirely too familiar. “If Soph was a real autocrat, she’d have let us have our little duel armed, with my sword and - I presume you’d have had an ax? Maybe a broadsword? You look like a broadsword guy... any rate.”

“However,” he continued, leaning forward with a thoughtful expression, like he was puzzling something out. “she made me promise not to kill you. Think about that. After you’ve been nothing but a headache and a threat to her and her family for months, she makes me promise not to kill you. I wanted to, you know.” The wistful sigh that accompanied that statement was entirely unnecessary and I was certain he only did it to irritate me.  “I wanted to kill you and have your lifeless corpse thrown out of the airlock like trash, not because of the Council, not because your Viking gimmick wears out in a hurry, but because you made the mistake of threatening a friend, then slapping a student. I had no idea if you were actually going to seriously harm any of them, and I didn’t care. The threat alone was enough to make me decide I wanted you dead.” Tapping his chin briefly, he pointed at Jokul without actually looking at him. “Because you were an unknown quantity, but no matter whether or not you were actually the threat you claimed to be, your corpse would be harmless.”

Arthur shrugged before looking Jokul in the face. “That’s how warlords handled things in the After, isn’t it? When someone threatened your people, or when someone threatened mine? I didn’t negotiate. I didn’t warn. I doubt you did, either. I took them at their word, and I did unto them first. And I’d bet you did the same. ‘Peace’ was what you called it when everyone who wanted to make war on you or your people was dead. That’s what the After taught me, that’s what it taught you.” After emphasizing his point by gesturing between the two of them, he shook his head.  “And that impulse, that set of lessons? That's not what humanity needs right now. Our skill set as leaders is not what humanity needs right now. If you want humanity to have a fresh start as you claim, drop the hostility, drop the self-righteousness, and actually try listening. Do you want a genuine peace with the Council?” Thoughtfully, he stroked the hilt of his sword where it laid across his lap. 

I knew it was the fondness of being reunited with a long lost limb, but Jokul didn’t know that. 

“Or a warlord’s peace with me?” In a creepy way, Arthur’s tone was downright perky. “I prefer a genuine one. A warlord’s idea of peace is one of the things I want to leave in the ashes of the After. That’s why it’s the Council who make the rules here - not warlords.”

With an alarmed expression, Jokul very slowly glanced at me. “Did he just threaten to kill me and shove me out an airlock?”

“No, he’s pouting because I wouldn’t let him do that,” I answered honestly.  The topic had come up, for a solid fifteen seconds.  I was even reasonably sure Arthur had been joking.

“I don’t - “ Arthur started  indignantly before being cut off by Jokul.

“He makes a good point. Our skills as warlords are not what is needed in this new world. I let myself believe people who told me that the Council in general and you specifically wanted to hoard power and privilege over us, just like the people who led Earth to where it ended up.” He glanced nervously at Arthur, who was still stroking his sword, before forging ahead in a somewhat squeakier tone. “If someone who has had real power agrees that you and the Council are the best option, then I will at least try to see how that would work.”

Here, Antoine joined the conversation. “Militant strength and ruling by force aren’t the only forms of power. We do not want that sort of power over us anymore. The Council leads because the people on this ship largely want to follow them.  That is the kind of power no one can force.  It has to be earned.”

“But the Council still makes decisions without our will - “

Shaking my head, I angrily flicked open my datapad and shot a file to him like I was thumping off an insect. “No, Bjornson, we don’t.  I was elected to my position - without my knowledge, might I add - by the people I represent to the Council. Every decision we make, the people on this ship get a vote with the exception of an emergency like what happened on Level One.  There wasn’t time to have a vote on how to handle that.”

“Although, we have had a lot of emergencies lately, so I understand the confusion,” Arthur interjected.

Is this what hallucinations feel like? I wondered. There was no way in frozen hell Arthur just made a point in Jokul’s favor, but the calm, resigned look on his face told me that, at some point, he seemed to have made peace with having to treat Jokul Bjornson as a sentient being. I was going to pass out if I kept sighing, though. “Okay, true. But everything else - Insert Winter Holiday, the swimming area, the diving docks, food festivals, permanent low stimulation areas throughout the ship, Galactic Core education - those were voted on by the people on this ship, with an overwhelming majority in favor.”

“What about the alarms?” Jokul pointed to his own head for emphasis.

“Also voted on, believe it or not,” I confirmed. “ And most of the ship agreed that there was more benefit in not running into people who would react badly to unexpected touch than there was discomfort at the alarms going off.”

“I tested them myself, monsieur.” Antoine offered. “So I am well acquainted with the volume they are calibrated for, and I do not appreciate you disabling them.  My staff have had to work around the clock to treat the damage your people have caused to others on this ship, who are terrified to leave their quarters now.”

Jokul looked a bit guilty at that, as well as his entourage.  Looked like he hadn’t considered that. “Would you believe me if I told you that was originally an accident?” he admitted sheepishly.  “One of the engineers thought it would be funny to shock another one in the neck with a low level electrical current, right behind the ear.” He turned his head and pointed to a small burn scar in the same place. “It took days for them to notice that the proximity alarm didn’t work anymore.”

To my shock, Antoine started swearing angrily in French, so fast even the translator couldn’t keep up. “Sophia, if I find out Charly Harper is the cause of this…”

Jokul shook his head vigorously. “I can assure you it was not Miss Harper.” His focus slid over to me, eyes wide.

Either this motherfucker just lied to keep Charly out of trouble, or she really was innocent.

“That explains why Derek and Zach couldn’t figure out how they did it,” Arthur pointed out. “You can’t hack into something that’s shorted out.”

Jokul spoke up again. “It also… may? Have caused some translation inconsistencies?”

“So the shock corrupted more files than just the alarms,” I stated in clarification.

“Several, in fact, yes…. Specifically signed languages and tonal languages.”

“That’s… that’s at least a third of the ship…” I couldn’t figure out if I wanted to sob in horror or laugh hysterically.

Jokul groaned before cradling his head in his hands. “I am aware, yes.”

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[daeunhye]

How would Chel teach SF9 Bahasa Indonesia?

Note: this is not real yorobun~ this is purely my imagination because i honestly miss teaching foreigners and learning together with them :(

I'm not a teacher or professor, I'm just an ordinary person; a student. I have this experience as a teacher/lecturer's assistant in teaching Bahasa Indonesia for foreigners (Bahasa Indonesia Penturur Asing/BIPA).

please excuse me if i made mistakes because i'm struggling with resources and knowledge too hahahaha 🤣

enjoy!!!! ✨

1. Youngbin

At first he was asking me first that he wanted to learn Bahasa Indonesia because he heard that there were a lot of baby fantasies from Indonesia. so we're arranging a 12x meeting (2 times a week, 2,5 hours) and he will use the last 30 minutes to do a live broadcast to present what he learned that day.

I can imagine teaching him in a chill and fun way. He would like to take notes very diligently.

the lessons that i teach him is just like how Indonesians would speak/write usually (this is also because i'm not an expert lol). at the 12th meeting, i'll give him a quiz about everything that he learned. his score would be 75/100 and i'll give him a special gift which is Indonesia's traditional outfit: batik! :D

2. Inseong

Since he's already good in English, he wants to expand his language skill too. so he's asking me to teach him Bahasa Indonesia. lessons with him were also fun and filled with lots of laughter because we're both kinda "struggled" with our own language lol xD same as Youngbin, 12x meeting but with a bonus 6x meeting for an Indonesian song that he will cover so he needs extra lessons to master the pronunciation and the song itself.

At the end, he released the cover and I also gave him a special gift too! Since he loves food, I give him Indonesian traditional snacks. (i give it on the day he recorded the cover so the staffs can enjoy it too~)

3. Jaeyoon

this guy is using the chance to level up his "I Can" series hahahaha XD

other than just teaching him language, he also learned how to make something. such as making and decorating a kite, doing batik, making Indonesian traditional games, and cooking Indonesian food too!

also outside the series, we would do 12x meeting just like the others and i would give him a quiz at the last meeting~

When he completes the series and the lesson, I'm giving him a set of Indonesian traditional ceramic cutlery (tea set).

4. Dawon

He was interested in learning Bahasa Indonesia because he saw a trending topic on Twitter. everytime we're doing a lesson, he's always turning on the live broadcast on his Instagram. He would also ask Fantasy to give suggestions of what he should learn next because we don't have fixed lesson. he also tries various of Indonesian foods like the ones he saw on TV. one day, on his usual vlive broadcast, I surprised him with a quiz. He wasn't prepared but he did his best doing it. he got 77/100 and Fantasy were flooding the comment section praising him and his skill.

as an appreciation (and because i love to spoil everyone too), i give him Ulos (Ulos is the traditional cloth of the Batak people of North Sumatra in Indonesia.)

5. Rowoon

He saw a movie recommendation and turned out it was an Indonesian movie so he asked me to explain the movie for him. He then became interested to learn Bahasa Indonesia. as usual, 12x meetings but without a fixed schedule because he's busy with his drama filming. The lessons are mostly outside the company like a restaurant or cafe. At the end of the lesson, I give him a mini quiz and also some notes for him to learn at home.

lessons with him is super fun! he's full of curiosity but not in annoying way~ he give me the vibe of my thesis advisor but more chilled and of course more handsome~

In our last meeting, we had the final quiz and he decided to turn on live broadcast while doing the quiz. He also accepted challenges from Fantasy such as re-enacting an Indonesian dialogue from a movie, etc.

because i love to spoil everyone with a gift (they've worked hard~ 🥺🥺) so my gift for him is the famous Luwak coffee.

6. Zuho

He just suddenly asks me to give him Bahasa Indonesia lessons because he wants to communicate better with the fans. since he's also a musical genius, i give him the idea of writing a song using some words in Bahasa Indonesia. he was so excited so he announced this news although our lesson hasn't been started 😅

In this case, we mainly focus on the words or sentences or sayings that are commonly used in Indonesia. Just like Dawon, he's doing a live broadcast while doing our lesson and he tries to write the lyrics (with Fantasys help too~).

when the song is complete, he's releasing it on his soundcloud. My gift for him is Indonesian traditional musical instrument: Angklung (Angklung is a traditional music instrument from West Java, Indonesia. Angklung is played by shaking. More info: https://authentic-indonesia.com/blog/5-popular-musical-instruments-of-indonesia/)

7. Yoo Taeyang

Since he's a dancer, I thought he was just interested in dancing. but turns out he wants to learn the language. so he's taking a course in Indonesian traditional dance and also learning Bahasa Indonesia with me. his dance lesson would be on the weekend, but the language lesson with me is set on a flexible schedule with 12x meetings including a mini quiz every end of the meeting and some notes for him to learn at home. In the end, he uploaded a video of him doing the dance and also introducing the dance using Bahasa Indonesia. Bonus: he covered an Indonesian song too!

The gift that i'll give to appreciate his hard work is a set of Beskap (Sundanese traditional clothes, more: https://greatnesia.com/sundanese-traditional-clothing/)

8. Hwiyoung

He read a pickup line comment using Bahasa Indonesia and he wanted to try to learn it. At first he just focused with those pickup lines or funny sayings but as time went by he grew interested to learn more. so he asked me to teach him. our lessons are mostly learning sentences and breaking it down word by word to know the meaning. We don't have any fixed meetings or schedules because he learns when he wants to or if he has time. although our lessons aren't that often, he's showing very good progress and the result is good too! He knows some Indonesian jokes too so he threw it to his members and Fantasy too because he said it's really fun.

in the end i give him a traditional wooden carving figure~

9. Chani

He was clueless because suddenly his members were combining Korean words with Indonesian. this time, i offer him the lessons myself. he excitedly said yes to the offer and prepared a lot just like a formal course 😅 same like Youngbin, i can see Chani is taking notes well and he's passionate in learning new things. and like Rowoon, this boy is also full of curiosities! He's the fun type of student that seems not serious but actually gives his best.as usual, 12x meetings with quiz at the end~ in this case, the quiz is given from the members. so they pick up to 3 questions and I will be combining it all as Chani's final quiz. Surprisingly, he got the highest score which is 80/100. now he can understand what the hyungs are saying hahahahah 🤣 I'm giving Chani a bracelet made from pearl originally from Lombok. (more about the South-sea Pearl: https://www.thejakartapost.com/travel/2019/03/16/home-to-south-sea-pearls-lombok-encouraged-to-sell-educational-tourism.html)

[potatocrab]

Hey friend! :) I am planning to do some outlining this weekend, and I saw that you mentioned that this is a really important part of your own writing process! Would you mind sharing some tips/tricks for this soon-to-be reformed panster? :)

HELLO! Thank you so much for thinking of me to share some tips and tricks. I’ll try to answer this without going off on a tangent, and hopefully this all makes sense: (and a lot is under a cut so it’s not clogging up people’s dash)

tldr; I outline for everything. EVERYTHING. 

Be it a prompt, short story, one-shot, chapter long-fic (but especially a long-fic), everything gets an outline.  EVERYBODYSTORY GETS AN OUTLINE!

How detailed the outlines are varies depending on if I’m writing a prompt/short story/etc. But like I said, they all still get one. I’ll share a screen shot of an outline I have in my Google Docs right now, for a Butch x Rosie one-shot that I’m working on. (below the cut) 

(Note: this isn’t the entire outline, but you get the jist). Real insight into how my mind works, yeah? Mostly, it’s just a rambling of ideas in some general order. Could include some dialogue that you thought of in the shower or while cooking.

Okay, now here’s some outline from Noir AU, a long-fic (which was, at one point over 60 pages, I was constantly updating it, and re-outlining when completing chapters):

This one is WAY more detailed, as you can see. If you’ve read the chapter, there’s almost a direct correlation to what made it over to the final product. Basically, outline, and you’ll have an easier time, because you’ve written half (or at least a percentage) of what you intended to write. Just have to fill in the blanks with details...give or take a few thousands words. If you’re writing a long-fic, my big suggestion is never start unless you have an ending in sight. Or else [south park meme here] you’re gonna have a bad time. 

My best advice for outlining is no idea is a bad idea, but that doesn’t mean everything needs to be used in the final product. I can’t tell you how many things changed from my outline --> draft --> publication. But if you have an idea, write it down, you never know where it might end up being used (even if it’s somewhere else entirely!) 

More advice: take breaks. Don’t try to outline everything all at once, or even all in one place. All my outlines are in Google Docs, sure, but I have outlines on my phone notes, notepads, and sticky notes that eventually get transferred over. Don’t force the ideas. Let them come naturally. There’s a reason why spontaneous ideas come when you least expect them, like when you have shampoo in your eye, or when you’re holding a potato in the grocery store. 

I have rambled for too long. 

I also am linking to my writing resource tag on my side blog writing+resource that may be of some use while writing, not necessarily for outlining, but while writing in general. I use that tag all the time while working on larger projects! :D

Please chat to me if anytime if you want any more tips/tricks about outlining or the writing process!

[sunflowerbi]

Hey! I absolutely love your blog and your work. Idk if you take request but idk who to ask lol. Would you be open to writing something about how Villanelle learnt to cook? If you can make it sappy and with Eve in it obv, even better!

This is so nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god. anyway i absolutely take requests, and this was lovely to write. hopefully it’s in the realm of what you wanted? It’s on ao3 too (link’s in my pinned post) hope you like it!!

           Villanelle had a sorted history with food. As a young child it was only a resource, something she needed to survive and never had enough of. She still remembered digging through the kitchen when her mother wasn’t home, desperately looking for anything she might not notice disappearing. It was something to be guarded, occasionally stolen, never shared. She hated food, hated her reliance on it, the way it controlled her. She’d spent plenty of nights unable to sleep for the gnawing pain in her stomach. She couldn’t do much with food then, at most she’d been able to heat things that needed it and pour salt on it to cover the taste. She never cooked anything, not really. She had fleeting memories of watching her father cook, but they were blurred, made her feel a mixture of sadness and comfort she mostly avoided. Between her mother and the orphanage, she spent most of her time trying to ignore her way she dizzied when she stood, her body demanding food she couldn’t provide.

In prison she worried less about where her food came from, sure, but she hated it just as much. Food kept her alive, and it always tasted like shit. She wasn’t fighting for enough food to live, but still would have rather not bothered with it at all. She was eventually assigned to the kitchen, which was better than scrubbing toilets, but peeling potatoes did very little to improve her opinion of food. It was a dirty kitchen where they made shitty food, and nothing ever changed. She peeled potatoes, then she cooked meat, then she mashed potatoes. She wasn’t allowed to cut anything, something about violent tendencies.

It wasn’t until much later that Villanelle learned to love food. When she got paid by the twelve for the first time, she went to the most expensive restaurant she could find and ordered the most expensive meal. She went to the cheapest place too, ordered food for a dollar and ate it. Food was a luxury she refused to deny herself, now. If she saw food she wanted, she’d buy it. More importantly, she taught herself to cook. She decided she wouldn’t rely on anyone else to provide food for her, she would fill her own stomach. She slept with a few chefs, dug through their things while they were asleep. She copied recipes, stole fancy tools they left lying around, found out what spices they used, ordered them from around the world.

She found independence in cooking, being able to make something solid for herself. She would spend free days picking out the most complicated recipes and perfecting them, hours just figuring out the perfect balance of spices. It staved off the overwhelming boredom she so often found herself drowning in, gave her something to focus on. Cooking created a moment where nothing else was happening in her own universe, she moved around the kitchen with frenzied grace, entirely wrapped in her movements.

The first time she cooked for someone else, she cooked for Konstantin, made him one of his favorite meals. He told her it was fine, but she didn’t miss the way he smiled as he ate, didn’t even try to reject her offer to send some home with him. (She saw him eat it in his car.) She cooked for him occasionally, after making him admit that her food was wonderful. She demanded places to stay with kitchens she could at least cook in a little everywhere she went, something to busy her mind while she waited for her next assignment.

The first time she cooked for Eve broke her open. Spaghetti, a nod to dreams from times past. As she dropped fresh pasta into the pot, she felt tears begin to form. She was overwhelmed by the sudden softness of it all, something she knew she didn’t deserve but was far too selfish to ever give away. Here was Eve, eagerly awaiting food she was cooking. Cooking was, in the end, a way to give yourself to someone, and she had never wanted so desperately to give someone all of herself.

“Villanelle? What’s wrong?” Eve was suddenly wrapped around her, dropping her chin onto Villanelle’s shoulder.

“Nothing. I do not think I deserve you, darling Eve, but I get to give you this spaghetti, and I want to give you everything. I want to give you all of me and all of the world. You deserve it.” It was a quiet confession, Eve was surprised she could even hear it, but she relished in it just the same.

“Maybe you don’t deserve me, maybe I don’t deserve you. I’m not sure I give a damn what we deserve, honestly. I love you, sweetheart, more than I ever thought I could love a person. So, if you don’t deserve me, that’s a problem for the universe. I want you, and hell if I’m going to let anything change that.”

Villanelle turned, pressing a gentle kiss against Eve’s lips. “You are my everything. Now find some plates, you’re going to make me overcook the pasta.” This time, a smack on the ass as Eve walked away.

“That was the best spaghetti I’ve ever eaten, babe.” Eve smiled, leaning back in her chair.

“It’s because I am the best, obviously.” Villanelle stood up, reaching her hand out for Eve to take. “Let’s dance, then, my love.”

“I can’t believe you tried to convince me you didn’t like to dance.”

“I had never danced with you; I did not realize how wonderful it could be.”

“Thank you for cooking tonight, I loved watching you make your way around the kitchen. You looked like you’d been cooking in there forever.”

“I hope I will be.”

“I’ll make sure of it.”

[affiliatesecret3]

How I Make Money as a Blogger: A Beginner’s Guide to Affiliate Marketing

How to Start Affiliate Marketing

If you’re already writing about products and services you love, why not make some money by sharing your finds with others, asks Sophie Lizard, creator of BeAFreelanceBlogger.com.

“I like that I get to earn a bit of money just by pointing people toward stuff I genuinely think they’ll want or need,” Lizard said.

“And I like introducing my readers to new resources and helpful experts they might not have heard about before.”

At BAFB, Lizard helps readers learn how to get paid to write blog posts and sells online courses, ebooks and coaching. And as an affiliate, she makes money recommending other people’s products to her readers, mostly by emailing her list of subscribers.

In its simplest terms, online affiliate marketing for bloggers means:

You write about a product or service on your blog.

You link to it with a special tracking link.

You get a commission on the sale when your readers click the link and make a purchase.

Imagine you just read the perfect how-to book on cooking Indian food, and you want to recommend it to others.

Write a blog post or email newsletter reviewing the book, and link to the book with your Amazon Associates link. If your review convinces a reader to buy, you’ll get a piece of that sale!

Affiliate marketing happens on a spectrum, from an average Joe sharing a link on his blog or social media to a massive publication making special advertising deals through marketing agencies.

Make Money

How I Make Money as a Blogger: A Beginner’s Guide to Affiliate Marketing

Penny Hoarder editor Dana Sitar makes extra money with affiliate marketing through her personal blog. Carmen Mandato/ The Penny Hoarder

Over the past few years, I’ve taken a crash course in making money blogging.I’ve experimented with freelancing, self-publishing ebooks, creating online courses, offering coaching and selling digital products.Everyone and their cousin seems to want to know the best way to make money blogging. And you want to know how to make money right away.Can you get started if…you’re not an expert on a subject? you don’t have a massive audience? you don’t want to publish books, create products or run courses? You can! Here’s a simple blueprint to make it happen.How to Start Affiliate Marketing If you’re already writing about products and services you love, why not make some money by sharing your finds with others, asks Sophie Lizard“I like that I get to earn a bit of money just by pointing people toward stuff I genuinely think they’ll want or need,” Lizard said.“And I like introducing my readers to new resources and helpful experts they might not have heard about before.”At BAFB, Lizard helps readers learn how to get paid to write blog posts and sells online courses, ebooks and coaching. And as an affiliate, she makes money recommending other people’s products to her readers, mostly by emailing her list of subscribers.In its simplest terms, online affiliate marketing for bloggers means:You write about a product or service on your blog. You link to it with a special tracking link. You get a commission on the sale when your readers click the link and make a purchase. Imagine you just read the perfect how-to book on cooking Indian food, and you want to recommend it to others.Write a blog post or email newsletter reviewing the book, and link to the book with your Amazon Associates link. If your review convinces a reader to buy, you’ll get a piece of that sale!Affiliate marketing happens on a spectrum, from an average Joe sharing a link on his blog or social media to a massive publication making special advertising deals through marketing agencies.So, how can you, as a new blogger, make money from affiliate marketing?

Why I Love Affiliate Marketing 📷 Carmen Mandato/ The Penny HoarderOf all the ways I’ve tried to make money blogging, affiliate marketing is my favorite.The number-one reason I’ve been more successful as an affiliate than as a publisher, coach or anything else is that it’s easier to sell someone else’s product than my own.Self-promotion is challenging for the person doing it — and it’s not too palatable for the person watching it.Whether it’s a tweet about a blog post or an email promoting an online course, my readers are far more receptive to my promotion of someone other than myself. And I’m much more comfortable touting someone else!

PRO TIP

Build trust with your audience by clearly disclosing that you receive a commission. The closer the disclaimer is to your recommendation, the better, according to the Federal Trade Commission.“There are always a few people who reply all excited, saying that what I just linked to is exactly what they needed — that’s a feel-good moment for me,” explains Lizard.From the reader’s point of view, this is simple: When they see you bragging about someone else, that someone instantly has some social credit. They’re good enough for you to promote.And it’s just plain less annoying for the reader when you share resources from other people than when you constantly tout your own wares.Lizard also points out that “sometimes I’ll get a grouchy email from someone who wants me to apologize for telling them about anything with a price tag.” But those are less common, and her readers overall have remained receptive to a promotional email “every month or two.”Affiliate Marketing in 2021 Why talk about affiliate marketing in 2021? Isn’t that a thing of the past?Back in the ancient times of blogging — say, 10 to 15 years ago — you could create a blog and litter it with ads and affiliate links and bring in decent money.It was fairly easy: People were looking for things on the Internet, and there wasn’t much there.In that landscape, your blog was like the one gas station on a dusty two-lane highway between Idaho and Utah.It didn’t matter that the coffee has been burning for three days and the bathrooms have a permanent puddle of (hopefully) water on the floor — people would stop, because it was the only business they’d seen for 75 miles.Now, we live in more of a Starbucks-on-every-corner era of blogging. Readers have more choices online than they can comprehend, and they’ll likely stop somewhere familiar before even knowing what’s down the block.

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[awed-frog]

Hey ,I've been following your blog for quite some time now and you're the only person who seems reliable enough. I'm 17 and lockdown has left me with nothing to do which has taken some negative effects on me ( feeling useless and worthless and suicidal thoughts). I only have my mobile and I don't want to do anything that'll offend my abusive dad (like starting a website). I would say I'm creative and I sketch too. I will be really grateful if yoy have some advice for me. have a nice day 😊

Hi, thanks for reaching out! It really seems like you’re in a bad situation rn, and I strongly suggest you talk to someone who’s qualified to help you. These are the relevant numbers for a few countries:

Suicide helplines

US: 1-800-273-8255 (also available as chat, and in Spanish)

UK: 116 123

UK, for young people: 0800 068 41 41, or text 07860 039967 

Canada: 1.833.456.4566 or text 45645

Australia: 13 11 14

Domestic abuse

US: the hotline website, 1-800-799-7233 or text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474

UK: the hideout website or 0808 2000 247

Canada: 911 or 310-1818 (available in 170 languages)

Australia: list of hotlines by region

Here is a list of suicide helpines for other countries, and here is a list of domestic abuse hotlines; if yours is not on the list, you can use an incognito tab to look up your local services. Don’t be afraid to reach out, even just to rant! No one will think you’re stupid, or overreacting, or wasting their time!

As for advice, first of all I’d say what you’re feeling is normal with all the stuff that’s been going on,but mostly - you’re still very young. While you may feel stuck right now, this is not your entire life, just a shitty part of it. You’ll grow up, move away from home, find stuff you like, friends, partners, relationships, jobs, maybe have kids yourself one day - so take it one day at a time and try to snap back from ‘catastrophising’ -

(That’s the kind of black hole we sometimes fall into, when we start thinking ‘Everything sucks right now, which means everything will always suck, which means I must suck’ and so on. You can find advice on how to change your thinking online, for instance here.)

- focusing instead on your future life and your future self. What I find helps is writing imaginary Wikipedia articles in your head, stuff like ‘After a severe personal loss, Frog went through a period of mourning. It was during this difficult time she started baking scones. Her granddaughter would later credit those very scones as the inspiration behind her successful Scone Company’. It honestly doesn’t matter what it is, whether it’s believable or achievable - anything that pushes you to see a positive future beyond the shitty things you’re experiencing right now is a good thing.

And I think you’re right, you do need a hobby. Lockdown hasn’t been easy for anyone, but if you’re stuck at home with abusive family members and nothing to do, it’s completely normal to become depressed. If you like art, maybe it’s the moment to learn more about it or learn some new techniques? Many museums (for instance, these ones) have made their entire collections available, and there’s tons of tutorials out there for any kind of sketching and drawing. 

(If you’re using online resources, maybe try being open to your parents about it, so they know what you’re doing and why you’re spending time on your phone.)

There are tons of other crafts you can try and learn online for free, depending on what you’re interested in and what you have at hand; even cooking (or baking) can be very relaxing, and it’s definitely a skill worth developing.

You don’t mention your mother or other relatives; have you tried talking to them about your issues and/or your relationship with your dad? Maybe they could help you, or you could go and live with someone else until things calm down?

Anyway - it’s difficult for me to give you any useful advice because I’m not a trained professional, so, again - please reach out to someone who can actually help you. 

And also - please, don’t hurt yourself in any way. 

Bad stuff passes. Better stuff comes along. 

Your future self is already out there somewhere, and will be grateful for your bravery and your resilience. There’s a lot of beautiful, interesting, moving, plain amazing things waiting for you. Just hang in there, okay?

[fantranslatorbychoice]

Oh glob, what have I gotten myself into? Just some long updates lol XD

Well, the year’s almost over, and it’s already the second half. The first half was too much and to be honest, I had to swim with the circumstances I am in right now so I had to put this passion non-profit project on hold, like seriously. But I did started translating the first few pages as early as December last year, as my very nice benefactor actually sent me the rest of the entire set of the Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi series after sending off the first 4 volumes. Probably read the entire thing first. But hey, free stuff is free so why complain. Plus my benefactor actually got the entire set for a steal, won’t say how much but in Amazon Japan, the last time I checked the whole set is roughly around $150 or a bit around that. and that’s just the first 7 volumes. Probably there’s an entire set now that’s about $200, as the final volume was released around August 2019.

Spoiler alert: the entire light novel series is made up of 10 volumes, so if you read it, the afterword by Yuuma-sensei specifically says that volume 10 is the final one, and Yuuma-sensei feels sad about it.

Yeah I highlighted that part in red, just in case many Kakuriyo fans still have some extreme hunger pangs or are unsure whether the novel series has ended. Here you go, straight from the horse’s mouth. Yuuma-sensei also has another Ayakashi light novel series, 浅草鬼嫁日記, roughly-translated to “Asakusa Wife from Hell Diaries”. Seems fun, they’re literally ogres - Oni living in the real world, like a reverse Kakuriyo thing. Who knows, maybe someday I can score that series too lol. The writer really likes Ayakashi, if it’s not that obvious yet 草 草 草 草  yeah I write kusa lol oml I should stop... But returning to the Kakuriyo series.. I won’t spoil what happened lol but I will probably make a commentary on that once I get the translations up and running.

Which leads me to my next announcement:

I PLAN TO UPLOAD THE DIRECT TRANSLATIONS OF JUST THE INTERMISSIONS/INTERLUDES ( 幕間 ) AND THE AFTERWORDS (あとがき) OF EACH VOLUME.

Chapter 5 is the only complete and full English Translation that I will be uploading here, and the rest will be summarized versions of the chapters plus my translation notes and commentaries.

Bummer, right?

Well, to be honest, after starting my initial translations I ran into several issues which made me feel sucker-punched and added to the stuff I’m worried about:

Issues regarding plagiarism (either my stuff getting plagiarized or potentially being accused of it)

Translating everything actually takes too long, even for me (I’ll explain that later)

More serious issues like possible DMCA-ish complaints (won’t want my hardwork just getting flagged and killed)

Personal stuff piling up and affecting my momentum

To be honest, when I received the books, I was so excited to work with them and upload as much as I can. But lots of things happened one after another, plus the worldwide issue that we have right now, so doing fun stuff wasn’t at the front of my priorities. So at the moment, I am mostly offline, by necessity, like connection is slower and with data cap, so I mostly do my translations with whatever hardcopies of dictionaries that I have on hand, offline. It’s good and all since I can put my skills to the test, but it can be expected that not all of the words are available in the books so I still have to hook on Jisho just to find the missing words I need. So my stuff pretty much looks like this:

I could just take pictures of these and upload them here but the maximum number of pics that tumblr allows is 15, and good glob I have more than 15 pages of translated material. Plus, as you can see above, some parts are untranslated and I had to find them in Jisho once I get online, so right now I have about 50% word-processed with the raw parts cooked, and I only have 12 raw pages remaining to be cooked and hashed lol

Which leads me to my next issues: my slowness (yeah I have to surrender on my slowness) and my fears regarding plagiarism.

I actually only started doing these translations in full blast around 2 months ago, and eventually I had to slow down so I won’t get bogged down since I also do other stuff. But I found out that ploughing through it can get quite draining. I started thinking that fan-subbing and scanlating were easier because aside from working digitally, these were also mostly done in teams so work time gets cut. Well, those were the days lol But for this one, aside from flying solo, I had to use all of my offline resources a lot, like doing everything by hand. It finally broke me about half-way and I had to step away from it, like reaaaaally step away from it. I thought I could finish 50+ pages in a span of a week. Well, I wasn’t exactly wrong there, but I also had other stuff to do, and if I just read it like I would any book without having to do anything, it’s a done deal. But having to translate stuff was draining, I felt frustrated so it broke me. I have to write each page by hand, leave out the words I can’t find or don’t know, and move on to the next page until my body stops working. Rinse and repeat until I could finish about 10 pages and get on with the typesetting and completing the missing parts. That takes a while so I just do my best to be patient.

Then the thoughts of plagiarism popped in and out, like I started thinking how to ensure that my stuff doesn’t get stolen and reposted elsewhere, or worse, getting my site shut down because fan translations are ambiguously illegal, like fansubs and scanlations, and I think those were what got me the most, so I just gave up midway. I’d say ambiguously illegal because if a series or title wasn’t licensed elsewhere then translating it is a fair game. But if it’s already released as a translated version by publishers, then releasing a translated version is like labelled as stealing, even if it’s non-profit. Of course profiteering is the worst, some steal what others work hard for, that they did for free, and sell them off. Scumbags to the bone smh I do my best to be within the fair use thing since I understand how much effort is made in creating content, so at present I have just decided to just put up the intermissions and the afterwords because aside from these being only a few pages long, it’s less likely to get whacked. Plus it’s easier for my psyche to just sum up each chapter and add some comments on it so it won’t be taken down, plus I wont’ be too-attached so even if some nutjobs repost it elsewhere because some people are just unempathetic like that, at least I won’t be as resentful. Plus the afterwords are just so cute, Yuuma-sensei gives off an adorable and relatable vibe, so I feel like aside from just showing off her stories, I think she needs to get signal-boosted too, so people would have an idea on who wrote this hunger-inducing light novel series lol.  I only started to pick up the whole thing again about a week ago, and I still wasn’t fast but at least I got to add at least 20 more pages translated, plus I started to type the first pages and add the missing words so at the very least, I felt some sort of achievement. It gave me some hope, and to be honest I have been doing this to maintain my sanity even for just a bit, so I guess I will do my best to bring Yuuma-sensei’s work out into the world. It’s a really good series, and it got animated into 2 seasons, plus the manga’s out, so that says a lot on how the series caught on. It can’t be denied that it’s a really engrossing series, so I don’t see any reason why this really good series should remain hidden. It probably has a lot of fans but aren’t being too attached into it because of language barriers, and even in my own way, I would like to bridge that gap. I mean, I may have slow internet that can only open mails in basic html but hey, this is the least I could do for the fandom. It’s not like I spew out doujin stuff or anything lol

OK, so summing up this long-ass update:

Chapter 5 - The Mysterious Capital Youto** - coming soon

Will just translate the intermissions and afterwords into English

English summaries of the chapters plus commentaries will be uploaded

Please don’t expect any fast uploads lol it’s not like I do ctrl+A into Google translate and slap it in here. Nothing against doing that but.. uhm, sometimes AI don’t get the nuances translated, and a lot gets lost in translation, so at best, anything done by some trash enthusiast, even noobs can still have some oomph in it that soulless beings can’t even top off. But hey, that’s just my opinion lol

So yeah, there you have it, a long update. Oh, and I changed the name of this blog because I have other raw stuff that I may be able to put here without any fear of being taken down because they’re in the public domain, so they’re all fair game since I don’t get any profit from them anyway and others may also appreciate them too. Hint: One is a series of Japanese classic  fantasy short stories, the other one is a set of instructional manuals on how to write kana and kanji in ballpen and brushpens. They’re a bit lighter so once I get Chapter 5 up I’ll do them as soon as I get rested.

See you all later and thank you for stumbling in this blog. xoxoxo

[morgannalefey]

Homes, relationships, realtors

These are a series of anonymous questions I was asked and I'm endeavoring to answer them. I am not a concise writer. I apologize in advance for the length of this post.

Step 1: Start Your Research Early. Step 2: Determine How Much House You Can Afford. Step 3: Get Prequalified and Preapproved for credit for Your Mortgage. Step 4: Find the Right Real Estate Agent. Step 5: Shop for Your Home and Make an Offer. Step 6: Get a Home Inspection. Step 7: Work on home loan with bank lender Step 8: Get home appraised Step 9: Complete paperwork and close the deal ?

How were you able to learn what the homeownership steps entailed and how did you vet the realtor, home inspector, home appraiser, and lender, if you used them? How did you ensure the people whose help you enlisted were legit and were going to do right by you?

How did you find out what the paperwork/legal aspect of marriage was going to entail (research so far has given me a few different answers)? There was a lot I either didn’t know or didn’t understand - you need to get your ring appraised and added to your insurance (what kind of insurance), for example? You need to change how your tax filings and paperwork in general, especially if you choose to change your last name, etc. I’m scared of missing an item and running into some obstacle😫

How do you also ensure that your name and/or your spouse’s name is on the deed and stays there? I’ve come across TOO many stories about one party thinking their name was on the deed only to find out it either wasn’t or it was removed. Or one party dying and the remaining party finding out the place wasn’t on their name or was removed. Or, one party kicking the other out and not being able to advocate for themselves because their name, come to find out, isn’t on the deed😳😞 How do you avoid all that (besides vetting your potential SO properly lol)

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The first thing I want to say is I am NOT a financial advisor or a counselor/therapist. I am not a lawyer. I am a 55 year old database developer (in 2020) and have bought several houses and been with/married to the same person for 32 years. Prior to this person, I played a very large field of folks, and was in a lot of short-term relationships. The longest relationship I'd been in by the time we met was 10 months and it ended very badly. I'm not an expert, I'm just old and experienced. Another thing I am is frugal. While I'm being detailed, I'm also bi, cis, childless-by-choice, mostly-abled, and white. I can't speak directly to the experiences that marginalized folks (especially those with multiple marginalizations) have had.

I'll talk about the relationship stuff first 'cos that'll be the shorter answer. I met my spouse in an online space for roleplaying gamers back in 1988 (before the internet existed there were dialup networks, I was on those basically from 1983 on). The beginning of our relationship was a shared interest in roleplaying games. We also found similar tastes in books. Over time we discovered other shared interests, or got each other interested in the things we cared about. We both love being in the woods, and the natural world. We care deeply about the environment. We have always been in agreement politically. At first we were on opposite ends of religious matters, and neither of us tried to change the other in that regard. Eventually we grew together on that. We both knew from the outset that we wanted to travel the world together.

There have been stumbles. Bad ones. We are able to hurt each other more than any other human on the planet, and we're aware of that. We try not to, but sometimes we just, do. Then we talk about it. We've been in therapy to work things out several times, and have learned techniques for working through our problems. The thread running through all of this is we were committed to making it work, to working through, to not giving up.

We have woven our lives together into a fabric that works for us. This takes trial and error. It takes being willing to make mistakes and, more importantly, forgive those mistakes. It requires you to learn from your mistakes and to do personal work. You have to be willing to change the things about yourself that need changing. Certainly some things are deeply embedded. Those things you need to learn work arounds for. It's especially difficult to figure out which things are too deeply embedded to be changed, and which are mostly habits you can retrain. Ideally they'll be supporting you through this work, and doing their own work along similar lines. If things work out, you're both growing as more emotionally mature individuals who bring things to the relationship that help sustain it through the hard times.

It helps that I am good at things he's not, and vice versa. We have a decent division of labor (both emotional and household). We give each other space to enjoy our different interests, too. I love movies of all sorts, but he's mostly fond of SF and action movies. We will watch those things together, and I watch my romcoms and historical dramas on my own while he's doing his stuff.

Sometimes it's a choice you have to make every day, to stay together. Sometimes it is effortless. Still, it always takes time to build shared experiences. To build traditions. To figure out how you fit together. This is time well-spent, even if you discover that you just don't fit together and you can't make it work. This prepares you for your next opportunity to explore with another person.

Now on to home ownership.

tl;dr is we did research into mortgages and closing costs and everything to do with buying a house before we bought one using various resources (mostly at libraries, this was in the dark ages when we bought our first house)

We were living in Juneau, AK when we got to the point that we had enough stable income to start talking about owning a home. This got us talking about the future, and our plans. Specifically we talked about what it would be like when we were finally able to travel like we wanted. We realized that if we were still in Juneau, all of our travel plans would be doubled in cost because just getting out of Juneau is a trip in itself. We decided (not just for that reason, but a lot of other ones, as well) that we wanted to move and we would buy a house somewhere else.

For a lot of people the answer of "where" is obvious but it wasn't for us. We made a list of qualities for where we wanted to live.

Inside the US

Low population growth 

Not on the west coast 

Not in the south

Within a day's easy drive to the ocean

At least four distinct seasons

There were other criteria we had on the list, but those were the ones that narrowed our search down to Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont. Then we spoke with work friends who had lived in all three states. They heartily recommended Vermont over the other two for a few good reasons. We both wanted to work for the state so we researched where most of the state jobs were located. That placed us in central Vermont.

Deciding where you want to own a home isn't just about what you can afford, but where you want to live. There's a lot you can change about a home once you buy it, but you can't change the location. When you buy a home you're putting yourself into a place that it's not going to be a simple matter to leave if you decide you want to later. It's not impossible, but depending on where you buy, it can be very difficult to sell again. Deciding where you are going to focus your home search is part of the research you want to do.

Figuring out how much house you can afford is a complicated thing. The financial institutions will encourage you to buy the maximum amount of house you can afford based on your income, a snapshot of your debt load, and your credit rating. That's all well and good, but you also need to take into account your actual lifestyle. If you never were interested in cooking, then it's a waste of money to buy a home with a big ole "professional" kitchen because it's all shiney and cool. You could buy a less expensive home with a smaller, more functional kitchen suitable for the lunchables you "prepare" on the daily, and put that extra money into something else.

Figure out what things you must have, that if a house doesn't have it, you're not going to buy it. For some people that's X bathrooms. For others it's lots of inside storage. Make actual lists of these things that you keep handy so you can just check for them when you're doing your search. Divide the list up into "must have" vs "nice to have" vs "I wouldn't pay more for this but if it's there it could be a tie breaker". The list may change as you start looking over listings, and that's fine. It helps you figure out what is really important to you.

Financial institutions. I... hate... banks. I haven't done my financial transactions with a bank (generally speaking) for over thirty years. Credit unions are the financial institution to work with. Of course, that is something to take with a grain of salt because there are some horrific credit unions with shitty customer service and nasty fees all over, too. If you can get into a state credit union (in Vermont anyone who lives in Vermont or works for the state can join the Vermont State Employees Credit Union) do it. There's typically a minimum deposit required in one account (for my credit union I have to keep $25 in a savings account). When you're looking at financial institutions to finance through, do your research of course, but include credit unions in your research. Look for first time home buyer programs (there are federal programs for this, as well). Look for low interest rates. The blog you should be looking into is Bitches Get Riches for more specifics on this. Their information is way more up to date and helpful regarding interest and mortgages and stuff.

You're going to need money to pay the closing costs. That is money that you pay over and above the mortgage. You will need money to put a deposit down on whatever house you want to buy. The deposit tells the seller you're really interested. If they decide to accept the offer from someone else, you will get the desposit back. If they accept your offer, the deposit goes towards purchase/closing costs. You will need money for the appraisal, an inspection (do not buy a home without an inspection, if they won't let you do an inspection, run), and a title search. These are all over and above closing costs. How much you can expect to pay is variable and something else to research. You will also need a down payment. If you can't put 20% of the purchase price in as a down payment, you will also need to buy private mortgage insurance. That cost typically gets rolled into your monthly mortgage payment. You will also need homeowners insurance.

Once you've worked these things out, you're ready to really dig into the listings. This used to be a whole lot more complicated than it is now. The MLS used to only be available to realtors, but that has changed. Most realtors will list houses online in a searchable place (the best places to do searches varies by region, in New England, I would look on the NNEREN website (Northern New England Real Estate Network). In other areas Zillow might be the best place to look. It really depends on what the standard for local realtors is where you want to buy.

The great thing about online searching is you can plug things in, make notes, save favorites, and build lists of features, or things you care about. There's typically photos of the property that get you started, as well. Because of these online tools, you don't really need a realtor to represent you in the sale. You can contact the realtor representing the seller if you want to see a property.

It can be tiring, looking at houses. Doing research. It takes time. If you can't, or don't want to do this, then you can get yourself a buyer's realtor. Their job will be to take the criteria for what you're looking for and find houses that might work for you. They present you with the options, and will arrange for a viewing if you like any that you're seeing. This has the benefit of reducing how much research you have to do personally, but it does mean that they get a cut of the final sale (but it also means you have a realtor on -your- side in the negotiations, though they're not allowed to influence you on certain things like what price to offer). Because they get a cut, some sellers won't work with buyer realtors.

The snarky answer about how you find a realtor you can trust is "you really don't". Realtors are all about closing house sales with the least amount of effort on their part possible. That is their job. That is how they earn their money. Every time they have to do something for you, it reduces the value of the commission they make off the sale. Some realtors resent this, others don't care and just see it as part of doing business. Some of them are really friendly, and love their job and love helping people find homes. Others are snotty nozzles. But they are all trying to sell you the most expensive house they can get you to fall in love with. They will regularly try to go $10-20K over your stated "highest cost" on the assumption that you won't really mind having to pay "just a LITTLE bit more" on your mortgage payment to have whatever feature they're trying to convince you that you really want.

Don't fall for this. Stand fast on your financial limits. Remember that increased purchase price means increased closing costs. Find a realtor that doesn't make you want to shower after you talk to them, and who will take your calls or answer your emails. If they won't communicate the way that works best for you, find another one. There is always another one who has a different style. It's OK to shop for realtors.

Different regions have different rules about real estate. Spend some time looking into your state's rules. Like in Vermont, you have to get a radon test. Some things are national, but a lot are regional. There are SO many guides online these days it should be possible for you to find one fairly local to help you be sure you're doing everything you need to. Your state might even have an agency for helping first time buyers.

Ensuring folks are legit: Find out what licensing requirements there are in your state. Realtors have to take tests and get licensed to sell within their area. This is something they should be proud to display in their office because it's not a simple test they have to take. Appraisers typically need a license, too. To get a title search done you need an attorney, they also have professional oversight. An attorney might ask for an initial low deposit (they have to pay for copies in town offices) but most of these professionals won't ask for payment in advance. If they do, be wary. Ask around to see if that's usual in your area. They usually bill for their services after they've provided their report here. Try talking to a variety of people about what realtor they have used, or what appraiser. Ask for referrals from folks you know (coworkers, friends, family of coworkers, etc). You can also search online for reviews of services and see the bad experiences folks have had (most folks only complain about bad service, so take those with a grain of salt).

In the end, you're buying a service, and the person performing the service should be doing their job. If you find out that they didn't, because they are licensed (and possibly insured), you will probably have recourse. Obviously it's better to avoid that because it's a painful thing. But sometimes that's just how things shake out.

I have to say that I've never considered a situation where my name might have been removed from my deed without my knowledge. I suppose if I were worried, I'd set up a reminder to check on it occasionally, like checking on my credit rating from time to time. I mean, to remove you without your knowledge requires forging documents. I know that this sort of thing happens, but... there's only so much you can do to protect yourself if someone is intent on breaking the law in some way. So, I guess, really pay attention to red flags when you're starting a relationship. Don't assume they will change if they're engaging in concerning behaviors.

Phew, the tax stuff is a whole other thing. It's usually worth working with a tax preparer the first year you're filing after buying a house. They can go over all the paperwork with you, so you understand it. Property taxes are so local that you really need to research it based on where you’re buying.

We have a specific amount on our homeowner's insurance that covers "household item loss" up to a certain amount of money, and we specify how much. We have a LOT of computer equipment, so ours is fairly high. If I were to lose a ring, it'd be covered under that. My engagement ring was a $50 cubic zirconia. Our wedding rings were a few hundred. Our computer stuff is way more valuable monetarily.

About all the things relating to marriage and how it entwines lives legally: that's like a dissertation for another day. :)  There are huge articles out there talking about all the things that getting married means from a legal stand point. It varies by state and even city. It matters if it's a same-sex marriage or not, as well (it shouldn't but some places have "civil unions" which aren't always the same legal thing as hetero marriages).

If you're still here, wow. I'm impressed. I'm happy to answer questions. Maybe consider me like an elderly queer aunt who doesn't mind talking a lot. I hope this helps you.

[365text]

Hello! I’m a long time follower and I’ve recently been accepted to UC Berkeley as a transfer! I wanted to ask, what do you love about Berkeley? I’m trying to separate the prestige of going to THE UC from my personal feelings about the school. Getting the opinion of someone who has actually attended might be helpful. I appreciate anything you have to say!

hello !! omg “long time follower” what a CONCEPT that means you were probably here at least 4 years ago, considering i haven’t used this blog in the past 3 haha. 

also, CONGRATULATIONS !! i’m so excited + happy for you ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ (and i’m laughing at “THE UC” because i forget that we are also called Cal for that reason haha). v understandable to try to get a vibe about the school to separate prestige from the actual experience — i’ll try my best to share what i love about berkeley, though ofc (obligatory disclaimer) every person ultimately has different experiences at the same college, so YMMV :’)

i’m actually making/editing a video about what i’ll miss about berkeley [updated!] that im aiming to post by the end of the week heh so i’ll share it here / update this ask perhaps with a link when im done!

but in the meantime! what do i love about berkeley under the cut heh

berkeley is in general known for their academics / research opportunities! depending on what you intend to major on, it can be a really great resource to strengthen your foundations in your intended field :’) i study computer science, and imo berkeley’s CS program is pretty good — we have some particularly amazing lower division teaching faculty, and also pretty solid access to some innovative / Big Things™ research labs + professors in the field as well. i think in general their STEM is p strong, and i think various majors within the humanities as well. i would just say do your research for your respective interest in that regard, since i think some majors (ie. cognitive science) are probably “better done” at other schools? example UCSD has an actual dept. dedicated to cogsci, whereas berkeley’s cogsci program is just kind of like a program rip

i’m also in the college of Letters & Science (L&S), and what i love about that is the flexibility you have for your major of choice! transferring to EECS is now impossible (?) iirc given I started in L&S, but i was still able to major in CS (after meeting the GPA cap) which is honestly virtually the same degree — you have the same CS requirements, just without some of the COE requirements (like physics or multivariable calculus, which is fine by me LOL). being in L&S also means you’re able to double/minor in L&S majors more easily (anywhere from history to art to english to stats to data science, etc.) without needing to worry about overlapping individual college requirements! 

and one more thing about academics is that it’d probably be ideal if you could talk to someone who majors in the same thing you’re interested in, as i can only really speak to my personal experience as a CS major. the school is honestly really big, and experiences vary greatly within department to department! CS department is HUGE and our class sizes pretty much never dip below like 200-300, mostly averaging around 600-700 even in the upper division. but with smaller discussions, it usually doesn’t feel that bad. but i know that experience is v different for some other majors, where their upper division classes are like 20-30 people!

there’s also a bunch of student orgs / clubs, like a lot of schools i’m sure, that you can take part in! berkeley feels like a very self-driven school, in the sense that you can really feel students’ personal motivations, which drives the vibe that student orgs typically take on (in my experience).

i personally really like the city + campus! i like how berkeley feels like a ~ community ~ and almost a combination of a suburb / metropolitan area. you can find residential areas just by walking 20 minutes north of campus; you can go downtown / into oakland with similar travel time either on foot or by bus; you’re next to BART which gives you access to a bunch of bay area cities; and even tho the campus is an “open campus” which means anyone can come onto campus, it’s not integrated into the city as a school like NYU is — which means you still do get the campus vibe/feeling! also some areas of campus are absolutely beautiful, esp. during golden hour *chefs kiss* hehe.

we have a pretty decent selection of libraries to study in too HAHA. 

i think food in berkeley is def not bad either! near campus won’t be like Top Notch food and it’s not super cheap, but you get a lot more options that a lot of colleges don’t have within like 5-10 min. proximity i believe. but i am not 100% certain about that ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯  but it’s p easy to find good grocery stores if you prefer to cook @ cal, and p easy to find some quick food options that aren’t bad if you’re busy either!

like all schools tho, there are plenty of pros and cons depending on what you prefer / are interested in / what kind of person you are! there are lot of things i could talk about, but i’m not sure what you’d like to hear / what would be relevant for you heh. if you have anything you’d like me to elaborate on / clarify, please do lmk! 

at the end of the day, i think my personal belief is that a person’s college experience is largely shaped by their chosen community (re: people they choose to spend their time with), and if you find people that have the vibe you’re looking for in a college setting, i think it helps the overall experience a lot! sorry this is kinda rambling heh but congrats once again and GO BEARS LOL

[imagine-organization-xiii]

Hey!! Can I get the org as youtubers?? Love your writing!!

Xemnas

Internet cryptid. Rarely shows his face. Uploading schedule is random and everyone is always surprised and excited when he decides to post a new video.

Everyone flocks to his channel for his voice. Most of his videos are of him reciting poetry or short stories. Has the perfect voice that makes you feel as though you’re listening to an audiobook. That being said, he goes pretty far into the ASMR thing, usually with his low voice reading to you, but everyone loves it so he doesn’t really want to change.

Doesn’t go to conventions or events, partly because he wants to keep the mystery of his appearance alive and partly because he doesn’t like meeting people.

Xigbar

Literally posts whatever the hell he wants, maybe once or twice a week depending on how busy he is. His channel is very Jenna Marbles-esque in the sense that he goes off the rails all the time. He’ll video himself trying a new workout routine, attempting and failing to cook a meal, going to a gun range another day, getting Xion to paint his nails in another video, telling stories about why he wears an eye patch that get more and more ridiculous as he goes on, etc.

Chill with fans. He’s super casual and actually likes meeting fans. Will be cool with you if you’re cool with him and don’t treat him as some big celebrity. He’s just a random guy who makes a few videos on the internet and that’s how he wants everyone to see him.

Xaldin

A workout channel, of course! Does a series of different types of workout routines that are good for different people with different body types and different levels of energy. A very body positive channel! Also has a series on different types of diets and the positives and negatives of each - more in regards to living healthier lifestyles than losing weight.

Went viral during a collab with Lexaeus about healthy food and organic versus non-organic fruits and veggies.

Will definitely talk to fans if they meet on the street or by chance, but doesn’t really go to conventions. He does videos because he finds it fun, not because he wants to be famous.

Vexen

Has a Bill Nye the Science Guy type of channel where he teaches people about the wonders of science and how science can answer nearly every question you might have about the universe. Did a whole, scathing series about climate change that went completely viral and caused quite a few stubborn conservatives to condemn his channel, but he’s fairly well-liked throughout the entirety of the scientific community.

One of those rare Youtubers that actually has a day job as a scientist for some fancy laboratory or university.

Doesn’t really like meeting fans because he doesn’t know how to talk to people, but will happily talk if someone strikes up a conversation that happens to be particularly intriguing.

Lexaeus

Honestly, this man has a cooking channel, but the actual cooking content varies. He has a whole series about cooking tips and hacks, as well as good tools to have in your kitchen. Videos concerning food range from beautiful aesthetic baking recipes for cookies and cupcakes to an Epic Meal Time level of food insanity.

His fans are intimidated when approaching him because he’s so large and intimidating, but they soon realize that he’s actually a sweetheart and is happy to answer questions and give tips to his viewers when he meets them.

Zexion

Mostly does reviews about things. The majority of them are about books, but he’ll sometimes do movies if they were book-to-movie adaptations. His reviews are fair, brilliant, and well-thought out, so he’s actually been approached by several movie studios that wanted him to review scripts before they start production.

Feels like he’s awkward around fans but they don’t think so. Gets exhausted by social interaction so he’ll talk to people, but he has to take some time alone afterward to re-charge.

Saix

Makes How To videos and educational videos. Saix’s channel is something you stumbled across when looking for tips for writing a resumé or for tips when going into a job interview.

Fairly informative in his videos, if a bit long-winded. The videos are worth the full watch, though, because he has some scathing, dry humor that you enjoy.

Did a whole series on his channel about politics - the important of voting, explaining governmental processes, explaining impeachment, giving information about various candidates, etc. This is the series that really made his channel fly up in subscribers.

Awkward with fans and doesn’t know how to interact with people fawning over him. Stopped going to events after some girl groped his ass because he felt too uncomfortable.

Axel

A travel blog! He goes all over the world - worlds - exploring the sights and local favorite spots. He gets a little extreme sometimes because he likes to try everything, whether that’s scuba diving with sharks, sky diving, riding camels through a desert, rock and mountain climbing, etc., but he likes to have the full experience.

He also does gaming, mostly group games like PUBG or Overwatch or Gary’s Mod games that he can co-op with Roxas.

Absolutely loves meeting fans. He really cares about his fans and loves making conversations with them - everyone finds him really easy to talk to, so they flock to conventions when they hear he’s going to be in attendance.

Demyx

A music channel! He writes his own music, does covers of popular songs, experiments with different instruments, does online lessons and teaches how to tune certain instruments.

He also does some travel stuff with Axel, depending on where Axel happens to go. They always have a lot of fun together so they like to collab whenever they have the chance.

Adores meeting fans and gives some really awesome hugs!  Gets super excited and flattered whenever anyone recognizes him in public.

Luxord

Does a little bit of everything. Got popular with doing unboxing videos for different types of subscription boxes. Also does a follow-me around where he goes to different sights around his hometown and explores things. Has a series of videos about classic foods and snacks from England.

Surprisingly, he first went viral for a video explaining what Brexit was and why it was important to vote.. Everyone was super impressed with the resources and information that he gave in the video.

Doesn’t mind meeting fans but doesn’t go to conventions or events. He’s usually pretty busy, so he’ll probably stop for a picture and a handshake and be on his way.

Marluxia

Marluxia’s channel is a mash of makeup tutorials and gardening tips. He has the most phenomenal garden that people love to look at and makes videos about soil pH, fertilizer and composting, and which plants go well with different types of environments and weather.

But then he also has his beauty guru side where he makes these incredible makeup tutorials that people can’t understand how he can possibly have such a steady hand when doing his contour and eyeshadow.

Viewers are a combination of 60 year old men and women looking for gardening tips and teenagers looking for makeup tips. Is fine with talking with the teenagers but will absolutely have hour-long conversations with anyone who starts talking to him about his plants.

Larxene

Self-defense, particularly for women who need to protect themselves but they could be applied to men, too. Good friends with Xaldin and has him on her channel a lot, usually when she needs a test dummy to try out new moves on. It helps her viewers to know that even though she’s small, she can still take out guys twice her size - and that her viewers can, too!

Sometimes does makeup tests with Marluxia because she can make some wicked sharp eyeliner wings.

She’s pretty cool with meeting fans as long as you’re cool with her. Do not hit on her or think you have a right to monopolize her time just because you’re a fan. You will regret it.

Roxas

Roxas is first and foremost a gaming youtuber. He loves video games and would play them all day every day if he could. Sometimes does charity livestreams on Twitch and he’s raised a lot of money for good causes!

Doesn’t really have a particular kind of game he plays - has a fondness for Nintendo, but he’ll play a little of everything. it really depends on what kind of mood he’s in at the time.

Gets really shy around meeting fans but he loves his fans to pieces! He thinks that they’re all super awesome and give great recommendations for new games he should try.

Xion

Craft videos! Xion loves arts and crafts so you can bet that she’s going to be showing you how to make different projects in an easy and fun way that doesn’t cause too much stress. She also dabbles in trying different types of painting, sculpting, sketching, nail art, etc., and makes awesome tutorials that are easy to follow.

Gets embarrassed around fans because she’s super flattered that anyone would love her videos enough to watch them consistently.

Xion gets the occasional fan that’s a little… too familiar with her, but she usually has someone with her when she goes to cons and events, so they happily act as her bodyguard.

Collabs with other Youtubers a lot, particularly Lexaeus, to everyone’s surprise. They usually do videos together when Lexaeus makes some kind of sweet dessert.