#this breakup is ruining me

[blushweddinggowns]

Part 2

He has no right to be here.

He knows that.

He does.

Eddie watches as people pile into the church, all of them dressed to the nines. It's a Harrington affair through and through, and the sight of all these people that he knows Steve hates makes him feel sicker than he already is.

If he wasn't on the edge of crying he would have laughed at himself, like he had any right to judge anyone here. He's the one who dumped Steve. Perfect, wonderful, lovely Steve who just needed a few more years. He just needed to make sure the kids were safe until they graduated. But Eddie couldn't do it. He needed to leave, and Steve needed to stay.

So he ended it. Just like that. He ended it.

He hasn't seen him for three years. By all appearances, it was a good choice, the best thing he could have done for himself. Because against all fucking odds Eddie Munson ends up as a success. He's a star, a famous musician discovered in a shitty little bar. He somehow managed to actually live the dream he used to fantasize about.

He lives it up. He parties, he drinks, he fucks, he spends his early twenties being young and dumb like he always wanted.

And it's horrible. It's so horrible that it becomes hilarious to him. Because he knows why it's so bad. Of course he knows. But it's better this way, really. Because Steve deserved better than him anyway. He deserved someone he didn't run away, full of flimsy excuses of wanting to be out of the shitty town that made him. When the truth was he was scared. He was terrified about how much he loved him. Because what was he going to do when the day came when Steve realized he could do better?

Eddie wouldn't have been able to surivie it. So he left instead. Like the coward he was. He left so he could be miserable and famous but at least Steve could finally find someone who deserved him.

So it really was all for the best. That's what he tells himself, because if he doesn't he'd go insane wondering about what could have been. He has himself convinced that he made the right choice. Maybe not for himself, but at least for Steve.

He doesn't realize how bullshit all of that was until Dustin lets it slip. They're doing the normal routine. Dustin visits, Eddie spoils the shit out of him, and on the last day he asks about Steve. He always tries to keep it casual. Tries to never let his desperation to know what's happening shine through. But it always does, bad enough that Dustin can't help the pity in his eyes when he tells him.

Steve's getting married.

Eddie wasn't aware just how much words could hurt him until that moment. He'd been called every bad name under the sun, a queer, a freak, a fag, you name it and it's been said. But this is the first time someone else's words make him feel like he's dying.

He wasn't invited to the wedding. Why would he be? But he still found it. Because he's a glutton for self-punishment. He hadn't seen Steve for three fucking years, and he chooses to wait till his wedding day?

But it's too late for regret, he's already here. His eyes keep scanning the room, just waiting for him to show up. He probably looks like a creep, dressed in all black and fucking sunglasses, sitting right by the door. He's basically in a fucking disguise, mostly to stop Robin from finding him and kicking his ass.

Speaking of, his eyes widen at the sight of her. She's slipping out of a door to the side, quickly wiping at her eyes before joining the crowd of people. His eyes drift back to the door.

Eddie's on his feet before he knows what he's doing. It's stupid, maybe the stupidest thing he's ever done, but where Robin is, Steve is sure to follow.

And he's right. It leads to a small dressing room. And there he is. Just like that Eddie's in front of the only man he'll ever love. Or at least, behind him. They were alone, and Steve hadn't even noticed him yet, too busy adjusting his hair in the mirror.

He still has time to leave. Besides, he didn't come here to ruin everything. He didn't, really.

But he doesn't turn around. Instead, Eddie locks the door behind him. He takes off his stupid sunglasses and clears his throat to speak, but is immediately rendered speechless when Steve turns to look at him.

He's just as gorgeous as he remembered.

His eyes widened at the sight of him, mouth opening and closing like he can't quite believe what he's seeing. Why would he? Eddie never reached out. He ignored the times that Steve did, always too ashamed of himself to face his own mistakes.

Eddie always expected Steve to lash out when he saw him, if he saw him. Lord knows he deserved it. But he doesn't. He just looks...sad. And those basset hound eyes are almost enough to bring Eddie to tears himself.

"What are you doing here?" Steve asked, voice quiet.

Eddie hadn't actually prepared anything to say. His plan was to watch the love of his life marry someone else than drink himself into a stupor at his hotel. He...he hadn't expected to end up here. But there are a million things he wants to say to him.

I'm here to tell you I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was a coward. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough and I made it your problem. I haven't stopped thinking about you. Ever. There hasn't been a day that goes by when I don't regret leaving. And I thought, maybe, just maybe if I saw you move on with my own eyes I could let you go.

But none of that is what comes out of his mouth.

"Run away with me."

If Steve didn't look shocked to see him before he sure did now, "W-What?"

"Run away with me," He repeats. Because it's what he wants. It's what he needs. It's been three years of hell without him and Eddie can't do it anymore. He can't.

He hates that he's the cause of the tears springing up in Steve's eyes, but he can't take it back. He won't.

Steve looks away, eyes trained on the floor, "You can't do this to me Eddie. You can't."

But he is.

Eddie's made his choice. He was a fool to think he was capable of coming here without trying to steal him away. Of course this is where he'd end up. And he'll say anything to get him back. He doesn't care that he's too late. He doesn't care that this whole thing makes him a bigger piece of shit than he already was.

He'll be underhanded, he'll be dirty, he'll do anything to get Steve to leave with him, he doesn't fucking care. Because Steve Harrington is not going to get married today.

He waltzes right up to him. He grabs his chin and forces him to meet his eyes. He probably looks crazy, he feels crazy, "You don't love her like you love me."

He's never met her. He doesn't need to. The way Steve freezes up is all he needs to know that he's right.

He doesn't deny it, but he deflects, "Why are you doing this? You left me. Did you forget that part? I didn't end it. You did! A-And now what? We're just going to ride off into the sunset together? Like you weren't the one to just cut me out of your life-"

"Yes," Eddie interrupts. He feels calm, eerily so as he speaks, "We're riding off into the sunset together. Even though I don't deserve it. I never deserved you. And I was so fucking scared of when you would realize that. I let it eat away at me. So I left. Before you could do it to me. And I was wrong."

"Stop," Steve tries to step back, but Eddie won't let him. He wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him close.

He can't stop talking, even if he wanted to, "I was so wrong Steve. And I've been miserable ever since. Because I couldn't stop thinking about you. I'll never stop thinking about you. Even if you tell me to go to hell and get hitched I'll just wait for a divorce. Because you are the only one for me. And it took me too long to say that out loud. And I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry Stevie."

Steve weakly tried to push him away, but his heart wasn't in it, "Please stop."

But he can't, "I love you."

Steve's eyes are closed, a futile attempt to keep the tears at bay, but his voice comes out strong, "Eddie, I-I can't do this again. I can't. If you left me again I...I just can't."

Eddie can't help but wipe a few of the tears away for him, "Angel, look at me."

He waits for Steve to open his eyes. He looks so fucking beautiful that it hurts, especially since this may really be the last time he sees him again.

But he has one more trick up his sleeve, "Tell me you're not mine and I'll leave."

"W-what?"

"Tell me you're not mine. Say the words out loud and I'll let you go."

Steve stares at him. He's mad, beyond pissed that Eddie has the audacity to throw that in his face, but he's desperate. It was the last thing he said to him, murmured through the driver's side window of the van, seconds before he drove away.

I'm still yours, even if you don't want me anymore.

Eddie had cried the entire ride there after hearing that. And then a few days after for good measure. And here he is, completely ruthless at what he's willing to pull out, "You're mine Steve. You know you're mine."

It's such a fucked up thing to say, but it's true. But it's not the whole truth, "And I'm yours. I've always been yours. Tell me that's not true and I'll leave."

But Steve can't. He can't do it, just like Eddie had known he wouldn't. But what he hadn't expected was for him to surge up and kiss him.

It feels like he fell in love all over again, just from one simple kiss. Because it felt like magic was real and it decided to take on the form of Steve Harrington's lips. It was everything he had missed. Everything he had dreamed about. Eddie tangled a hand into his hair, helpless to do anything but kiss him back, harder and deeper. He wanted to be burned into Steve's memory for all eternity. He wanted him to always remember the moment that they came back to each other.

Because that's what this is. Eddie's certain, Steve was his, and he would never let him go again.

They only stop when there is a knock at the door, a muffled question asked that they can't hear over the sounds of their own breathing. It's enough to have them pulling away from each other, but they ignore it nonetheless.

Steve searches his face, one last test. Eddie can only guess how he looks right now, probably just as desperate and terribly hopeful as he felt. Whatever he's looking for, he finds it eventually.

Steve sighs, glancing toward the back of the room, "There's a window we can probably fit through. Because I'm sure as hell not going out there."

Now it's Eddie's turn to cry. Despite all of his confidence, the certainty that they were supposed to be together, he hadn't really expected it to work. But here they were, giggling with each other as they scurried out of a first-floor window, making a run for Eddie's car.

Eddie can't help but kiss him again before they get in, muttering against his mouth, "I love you so fucking much Stevie. I'm not going to fuck this up again. You won't regret it, I'll spend the rest of my life making sure you don't."

Steve grinned into the kiss, "You better."

There was still so much to talk about. Too much. And they'll fight and they'll scream and everything will get worse before it gets better. And Eddie's so fucking grateful to get the chance.

And for the first time in three years, he feels alive again.

[bookhugers]

I get so sad over Panic! At The Disco sometimes bc they had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and they were sooo young :( like they were KIDS in afycso like its so fucking insane. Like these barley legal teens got pushed into the spotlight out of nowhere (because pete signed them without them playing a show ever) like thats so jarring for them. Going from practicing in a basement to sold out shows in a year or so. And like one of the main reason why the music sticks so much now like 20 or so years after it being released is how much of a raw/genuine writer ryan ross is/was like those songs are so well written its fucking crazy and combined with brenden uries (formally) amazing voice they were kinda unstoppable.

I cant help but credit the fact they got to famous so quickly to ryan ross and jon walker leaving the band. Like thats a band break up that still to tjis day makes me sad. Like brenden and ryan clearly were SUCH GOOD FRIENDS and now they never fucking talk (also bc of the internet stalker thing.) and its just so depressing how fame tore the band apart. Even in interviews from after the split it's clearly affected ryan and its all so :(((

(Sorry for silly ramblings i just wanted to post it somewhere :3)

[faofinn]

A question.

We're in a situation where there is no more Fao and Finn.

Shiv has left, taking Fao and Ely (epoch's, but too much to talk to both of us), and leaving all our fics frozen still.

As mentioned previously, you can find shiv on ao3, but all of my work has only ever been on here.

Would people be interested in a rewritten situation where the Daniels etc remain (but without Fao obv)? Fao left in prev works but removed from future? Leaving the blog frozen with no changes or additions? Completely new characters on a new blog that has zero to do with the boys?

If anyone has any tips etc, they'd be appreciated.

[monstertsunami]

wtf is wrong with ppl trying to manifest a petrigtof breakup. im genuinely mystified. i want them to be toxic together until the end of time some real sunk cost fallacy shit. theyve been devoted to each other for literally thousands of years, YES to a fault, but shes an entire god of chaos now there is like nothing else for her to lose. shes all powerful and her only goal is to protect simon WHY, from a storytelling perspective, would she break up with him now? why would simon break up with her? theyre both at rock bottom there is nowhere to go but up. they could even rebuild together! if you want them to be healthy so fucking bad they could confront their past and try again. TOGETHER. but its not cathartic or a good ending at all for them to just cut it off or stay friends after centuries of literal madness. stop putting these characters through therapy or making them well adjusted just shut up shut up AAGH .

[camgoloud]

you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons

[vegaseatsass]

Be My Favorite is rewiring my entire brain istg... just unraveling those brain wrinkles and resculpting them in exciting new shapes and patterns

[babyjakes]

why does the new taylor album look like it’s gonna be literally the saddest most heartbreaking record ever and why is it coming right on fucking time for me 🫠🫠

[theinfinitedivides]

me seeing all of the MD discourse once again cursing out Gil Chae and calling her weak/a bitch for still turning down Jang Hyun's proposal before he left with the Crown Prince:

[ju-ji]

With august it was “he’s a complicated and flawed character but that doesn’t make him BAD” and it was also like that with day at certain points, well now I raise you: last twilight is a complicated and flawed show but that doesn’t make it BAD!!!

[krakensmaw]

i know he was an absolute trainwreck, but i do miss season two's kraken era ed for their messy bun and that dangly little earring ! he might have been unhinged, but he was doing it with style

[findinghomesomehow]

KimChay fic prompt idea :

This same exact scene but as Kim walks to the car he hears the cries of Chay. Stops for a moment, visible tears in his eyes but Kim being Kim, he can't afford to cry. As he is getting in the car, chay's cries get louder and that finally breaks Kim. He gets back running towards his baby and falls own beside chay and hugs him.

Slowly he makes Chay get up and walks them to his room in the main house (pls make them hold hands here or just any form of physical touch). As they get to Kim's room, he makes Chay sit on the bed or something and hugs him tight. While chay keeps crying in his arms, Kim also sheds a tear or two.

Slowly Chay stops crying and gets more in his senses as to who he is with and pushes Kim away yelling "GO AWAY & LEAVE ME ALONE. Why did you come back? You said you never loved me and had just used me for you information, then why did you come back!! " And constantly hits him on the chest lr something (Ok this is a very bad dialogue delivery but you get the point)

Kim hears all of the yelling silently and only after Chay has calmed down, he goes closer and cups Chay's face (wiping down the tears with his thumbs and whispers "baby when did I ever say I don't love you", which makes chay look at him.

Then Kim goes on to explaining why he did what he did and how he actually had just planned on using Chay's crush on him to get info but eventually fell in love and how he thought he didn't deserve Chay and pushed him away to keep him safe.

Chay's hears everything and literally just slaps Kim straight across the face. Says "I can't believe you. You. The person I had a crush for the longest time, the person I loved and adored for ever. YOU FUCKING USED MY FEELINGS TO GET INFORMATION ABOUT MY BROTHER. You know you were right about one thing .. YOU DON'T DESERVE ME" (C'mon he's being raised by Tankhun now) and walks away, while Kim tries to stop him but this time, chay leaves.

Enter tankhun coz he heard yelling from Kim's room. Now just let the younger one get his walls down in front of his brother and cry and tell everything. Hearing which, tankhun hits him on the head with a tray (idk where the tray came from but yes) and hugs him. Tells Kim what he did wrong and makes him understand how he should be approaching chay and that Kim doesn't need to be scared of falling in love.

Kim hears everything and goes to porchay the next day. After all kimlock had to go to that monk to continue his whatever. Seeing him Chay immediately asks him to leave but Kim doesn't budge. And after a bit of chay asking him to leave and Kim asking chay to just hear him out, Kim falls to his knees in front of Chay (this is exactly where this entire idea generated from) and begs for forgiveness. He goes on to tell how much he loves chay and wants to be with him and is sorry for whatever he did. Chay at some point kneels in front of him and hugs him. Let them take their guards down and hug and cry and confess. But after that Kim says that even though he wants to be with Chay, he cannot. He cannot until he has solved the mystery with chay's parents and his dad because he cannot have a relationship that began with lies and not feelings. So if chay is willing to wait, he is ready to prove his love. But then again he keeps the doors open if porchay wants to leave and move on.

And porchay being tankhun's baby now just goes "the proof better be good, I ain't waiting for just anything" which both of them laugh. And idk hug now and Kim kisses him on the forehead and they cuddle and take a nap.

So like basically they don't get together but they know they will, something of that sort.

I'm sorry that this got so detailed and long.

[theladyfae]

,,,am I watching an honest to god batman-joker breakup

[coelura]

sometimes i do resent that taylor wrote/released the 10 min version of all too well ngl

[ink-asunder]

Looking back on it, even with ALL the context of how Blues Clues was made, I can still understand why Steve just suddenly leaving for college with no Real warning presented in a way kids could fully understand was like... not Traumatizing, but certainly a bit hard to cope with in a comfort show.

It's probably the closest thing we got to Major Character Death and we were, like, in preschool

[casdean-jenmish]

“They’ll never matter to us, Ryen. No one knows how this feels.”

- Misha Lare, Punk 57

[headaching]

i was about to start a call of cthulhu campaign with the person i was dating but she dumped me before we could even play one session, so i wanted to share my character with you guys <3 his name is chuck and he’s a 1930s mechanic and yes he’s 🏳️‍🌈