#this ended up a lot softer than i initially planned

[llitchilitchi]

jokes on you i love angst (with a happy ending.... i trust theres a happy ending right..?) your tags made me even more excited and even more likely to be emotionally damaged!

emotionally damaging? yes

a happy ending? uhhh...

[aliteralsemicolon]

Technically, I didn't stay up.

Just you and Spencer being fluffy when he comes home from work and falling asleep in each other's arms.

Spencer Reid X GN! Reader. 

DISCLAIMER This story is completely SFW, minors do not interact regardless!  You are responsible for the content you consume. Make sure to read all necessary warnings. Please remember this is a work of fiction; if you don’t like it, don’t read. 

Word count: 1K See notes at end for authors note, any spoilers & update schedules.

I was listening to Margaret when I initially started writing this:

Spencer’s abnormal work hours were something you were entirely used to. You never knew when he was going to be called away and although he would text you when a case wrapped up, it was never a guarantee that he was going to make it home. Actually more often than not, he was usually hauled right back in for another case. What could you do? Serial killers didn’t really care about his convenience. Regardless, you always insisted on being present to greet him at the door, even if it meant testing your sleep schedule.

from: Spence ❤️

20:42 | The jet took off not too long ago. We should land in roughly five hours. Please don’t force yourself to wait up.

20:42 | I love you!

You were quick to respond to everything except the not waiting up part. Your plan hadn’t actually gone that smoothly, you’d fallen asleep on the couch not long after making yourself comfortable there. You didn’t hear him unlock the door. He took extra care to be as quiet as possible when abandoning his shoes and satchel at the entrance. He even put a lot of thought into making his steps as light as possible when he began to make his way to the bedroom, only to spot you curled up on the couch. 

He smiled to himself at the sight in front of him. The only lighting was a small lamp in the corner of the room, but to him, you were the brightest presence in the room. Your expression was neutral and your breaths shallow as you lay dead to the world. You looked so peaceful, he considered it to be almost criminal if he were to disturb you. He couldn’t just leave you there though. It wasn’t good for your body to be curled into a cramped position. 

Spencer made his way over to you, crouching down next to your face. He couldn’t help but admire whatever features were visible. He brushed a strand of hair out of your face and leaned in to kiss your forehead. “Honey?” he whispered when he pulled away. His voice was so soft. He didn’t want to disturb you, but he wanted you to be comfortable in your own bed. “Hmm?” Your brain registered his voice, but it took your body a second to register his presence.

Spencer still had a hand in your hair, lightly stroking it. Your eyes fluttered open momentarily before they shut again. “You’re back!” You mumbled groggily, reaching out to brush your fingers against his hand. “I am!” He whispered gleefully. Your other hand made its way to his face so you could stoke his jaw. You could feel a little bit of stubble coming in. Spencer’s ears perked up at the little giggle that came out of you when you dropped from the couch into his lap and wrapped yourself around him. 

“I’m sorry to wake you. I did tell you not to stay up.” His long arms swallow you into his embrace as he speaks. 

“Technically, I didn’t stay up.” You counter letting your hand make its way into the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“Sleeping on a surface that isn’t firm enough can contribute to back pain and because the surface of a couch tends to be softer than a mattress, it might not offer enough support for your back. Also, falling asleep while sitting up on a couch could result in your head pushing forward, which puts stress on the neck. Sleep posture is an important predictor of stiffness, back pain, and neck pain, according to several studies.” 

“Thank you Doctor. I remember why I missed you so much.” You pull back as you speak. “Who else is going to be as concerned about my sleep posture as you?”

“I missed you too.” He scoffs in amusement and smiles into the kiss you lean in for. 

You nuzzle your head into the crook of his neck when you feel a yawn coming. “Let’s go to bed, okay?” He whispers, sensing your sleeping demeanour. 

“Only if I can take you with me.” You whisper into his skin. He huffs a small laugh as he pushes you off him so he can stand and offers his arms down to you. You grab them and he pulls you up. Neither of you let go of each other's hand as you walk into the bedroom. “I’m just going to brush my teeth first, then I’ll be right with you.” Spencer announces. Still ever the germaphobe.

“I’m gonna join you, that nap made my mouth all dry.” You follow behind him. Spencer grabs both of your toothbrushes and holds them out, as you grab the toothpaste and squeeze an equal amount on each brush. You then take yours out of his hand and the two of you begin brushing. You’re both trying to make up for his time away by leaning into each other, stealing glances in the mirror and smiling if you get caught. 

When you both finish up in the bathroom, you make your way back to the bedroom together. It's like both of you are incapable of being away from each other right now, even for a second. Spencer decides against changing into more comfortable clothes, wanting nothing more than to hold you. He joins you under the comforter, immediately pulling you as close to him as possible. 

Neither of you have enough energy in you for conversation right now, you’re still sleepy from your previous nap and Spencer is entirely drained from the case. Still, you acknowledge each other through light touches and kisses. Spencer’s hand now makes its way to your hair while you draw little patterns against his chest. 

‘I missed u’ 

‘I <3 u’

‘♡’

‘:)’

He doesn’t recognise the little messages, but he appreciates the feeling all the same. You begin drifting off into sleep, revelling in the warmth emitting from him. Spencer smiles when he hears light snores coming from you. He truly considers himself the luckiest man alive. You don’t hear it but before he drifts off himself, he makes his feelings known to the universe in a light whisper.

“I love you so much you know. I’m gonna marry you someday.”

Spoilers: Fluff, Domestic! Spencer, entirely fluffy & domestic. Literally a comfort blurb for the people who take hot showers for too long and just need a hug.

AN - Hey so sorry for any errors, I drafted this in like 20 minutes to make up for the fact that my originally planned story for today would not be complete in time. Enjoy this short blurb. I was in a salty mood and made an entirely angst blurb too, but decided fluff was what society needed today. Also sorry for the shitty fucking title, my brain is shutting down. Also side note - I’m a WHORE for domestic! Spencer. I just loveeeeee when everyday tasks become so cute and fluffy and romantic. PLEASE recommend domestic Spencer stories!!!

Update Schedule: Original plan drops Monday or Tuesday (Sunday or Monday night EST time). (soooo apparently I'm a liar)

Feel free to drop helpful constructive criticism, I’m always looking to improve. Remember to stay real and respectful :)

Thank you for reading!

[pinkkittysaw]

FIVE NIGHTS AT MIKE’S

pairing: mike schmidt x plus sized! female reader

summary: you spend the night at your boyfriend’s place

word count: 5,735

content: NSFW (minors + ageless blogs DNI, you will be blocked!) post canon (but still in the year 2000), established relationship, dry humping, oral (f! receiving), fingering (f! receiving), minor pussyjob, breast/nipple play, protected sex (use of condom), intimacy kink, both reader and mike have pubes

a/n: does anyone else miss blockbuster? because i do 😔 long live physical media! also i did my due diligence and calculated prices of things to my best of my ability for the year 2000 so even if my price match isn’t EXACT, it’s close. this ended up…unexpectedly softer than i thought it would. never did i think i would be stringing sentences together like this to describe mike from FNAF but alas, here we are ^_^

dividers by @/kimjiho1 & @/saradika

"See ya, rugrat," you say to the eager girl as she hugs both you and her brother at the entrance of their front door. She huffs, only slightly, when you ruffle her brunette curls, sporting a faint pout once she pulls away from your hold. You chuckle, kneeling to her height, before attempting to fix the mess you created, smoothing out the hairs that lay atop her head the best you could.

"Call us if you need anything, okay?" Mike repeats for the nth time that night since Abby started getting ready.

"Yeah, yeah." Abby dismisses her brother completely, heading toward the car parked in the driveway after she decides that her hair looks satisfactory enough.

It was a Friday night, both you and Abby had sleepover plans, her at a friend's house and you over at Mike's. Abby was so devastated when she found out that your sleepovers fell on the same day as each other—intentional planning on both your and Mike's part—that she almost bailed on her school friends. It was only when you promised to have a special girl's night with her the next time you stayed over that she eventually yielded, going through with her original plans for the weekend.

She was initially invited by one of her school friends. After Mike had sat through one of the world's most awkward conversations with Abby's friend's mom—one he made sure to recount once they arrived home—he decided that it was probably in her best interest to let her go out and socialize like this while she was still young enough to do so, despite whatever unspoken worries he had about her going off and spending the night on her own for the first time.

"Love you!" Abby yells from the rear car door before opening it and getting inside. The seats are filled with excitable little girls and one slightly apprehensive mom who smiles at you through the windshield. Though the sound is slightly muffled, Mike repeats the same words back to his sister.

He may not be the most outwardly affectionate person, but after taking even the tiniest glimpse into their lives, it's obvious that he cares. Whether that's shown through him triple-checking her pack before she leaves for the evening, giving her friend's mom a list of her safe foods so that she doesn't go hungry, or reminding her numerous times that she can always call home if she needs to because no matter how independent she's become, it's okay to still need your older brother. Although you're sure Mike would say that he's anything but a good older brother.

Abby waves to you both as the car pulls out of the lot before she turns back to her friends again. You and Mike stand waving in the entryway as it turns off onto the street, leaving an empty spot in its wake.

"She's come a long way," you comment, turning your head towards him as he continues to stare out onto the pavement.

"Yeah."

You're unable to help the way your eyes roll at his statement, though it's lighthearted in nature. "It's thanks to you, you know." You nudge him in the side with your elbow.

"I think you had a hand in it too," he chuckles, smirking as his eyes meet yours.

"Just accept the compliment, Mike." You pat his shoulder, then turn on your heels to head back indoors, with him following suit.

"So...what should we do now?"

"I got a spare ten; wanna rent a movie?" You reach down for your wallet that's tucked in your overnight bag sprawled on his couch, pulling out the ten-dollar bill and puffing it between your fingers. "Let me treat you, baby," you coo, twirling around with the money in hand.

He scoffs a little at the display but still reaches for his keys and jacket off the rack. "Let's go."

The drive to the video rental store is a short one, as most of your time is spent lip-syncing songs to Mike that play through the static of his shitty radio.

Once you arrive, you divide and concur. Since Mike got to choose the movie last time, it was your turn, leaving him in charge of the snacks. You take your time leisurely perusing through the aisles, trying to find something that looks interesting enough before making your way to the "New Releases" section. It takes a while before anything catches your eye, but as you keep wandering, a title eventually jumps out at you.

You pick up the VHS and make your way over to check it out. Mike's waiting for you at the end of the aisle, his arms filled with popcorn, soft drinks, and candy. The two of you walk side by side over to the counter, where he drops all his snacks, and you slide over the movie. He lifts the corner of the box to look at the title before the case makes its way toward the cashier.

"American Psycho?" He asks, raising a brow.

"Yeah." You hand over the cash and your ID. "A coworker of mine said it was good, plus the trailer looked...interesting." You smile. "Why? Are you scared of a little horror film?"

"In your dreams."

"Guess we'll see about that, won't we?"

After thanking the cashier and collecting your bagged items, the two of you head back to his car.

It's not long after that the two of you arrive back at Mike's place, having changed out of your day clothes into pajamas.

After feeding the tape into the VCR, you plop back onto the sofa, sinking into the cushions, popcorn in hand, and snuggling into Mike's side.

Around six minutes into the movie, you comment in between bites of popcorn. "I know this movie is rated R, but I honestly wasn't expecting to see Christain Bale's ass."

Mike doesn't say anything in return, just side-eyeing you with a simple "Uh huh."

By the time the credits roll, both of your tummies are full of salty popped kernels and sweets, the evidence of which lies on his coffee table in the form of empty bags and wrappers.

Your bodies have shifted positions since the movie started. He's lying on his back, his body spread along the length of his couch, with you on your tummy nestled on top of him. Your cheek is squished against the space between his neck and shoulder, breathing him in while his chin rests on top of your head, his fingertips drawing slow circles on the small of your back.

The sensation makes you drowsy, both due to his warmth and the methodical motions of his fingers lulling you into an almost slumber.

"So, were you scared?" You tease, breaking through the serene atmosphere.

"Hm?" He mumbles, slow blinking himself to a higher state of alertness. It seems as if he too has been lulled into falling asleep on the couch alongside you.

"Were you scared?" you reiterate.

"Definitely not."

"Yeah... it felt more like a thriller than a 'horror' movie, I guess."

Mike hums in agreement, the two of you lying in silence before he speaks up again. "We should probably get off the couch now, hm?"

You groan a little, not wanting to move from your comfy position on top of him.

"Says who?" You fold your forearms across his sternum, settling your chin on top of your hands.

"Me." He quips, "It's getting late."

You huff, maneuvering your body so you can stretch and look at the clock on his wall. "It's only ten p.m." His eyes aren't open, but they don't need to be for him to tell that you have a pout on your face.

In your best attempt to dissuade him, you settle yourself back in the crux of his neck. "The night is still young."

"Says the one who was snoring up a storm on top of me a few minutes ago," he titters, poking your sides lightly so you'll fold in on yourself. "Using me as her personal pillow."

You don't engage anymore, choosing to stay right where you are in silence. If you don't talk, then no conversation needs to be had, and you can stay where you are. 

"Fine," he grumbles, effectively giving up. "We can stay like this a little longer." His fingers change positions now, moving from their persistent prodding to dragging the tips up and down your spine underneath your shirt.

"You're warm."

"You're warm...and snuggly... and safe." You plant a kiss on the exposed skin from the opening in his shirt.

"Safe? Never heard that one before." He smirks to himself amusedly.

"Don't start all that now," you tell him, looking up from your spot nestled in his neck.

"It's true," he retorts, "not sure any of my former employers would agree with you."

"First off, your previous employer was an actual madman. Secondly, I'm not one of your employers; I'm your girlfriend, and thirdly, you should know by now that I don't give a fuck about corporate."

Mike looks off to the side, not meeting your eyes. "You're not exactly a good influence on me, you know," he jokes.

"I never claimed to be." You move to lift yourself more and stroke his stubbled cheek with your finger. You sigh, "Look, I get that you haven't always been the most pacifistic person in the past, but...I mean it when I say I feel safe with you. And I know Abby is safe with you too, alright?"

He doesn't have the words to articulate the feeling that those words dredge up inside him, so he simply nods.

"Good." You lay back down on his front, staring up at him. "Wanna know one of my favorite things about you?"

You stage the question like it was a guessing game, but since he's unable to guess any good qualities about himself, all he responds with is "What?"

"Your eyes. So pretty."

The corner of his lip turns up in a smirk. This isn't the first time you complimented his eyes, and it surely wouldn't be the last. The warm, rich browns that make up his irises are sweet in color, despite him thinking they were as plain and boring as can be.

"You want to know what your eyes are telling me?"

"What?" You smile sweetly at him.

"That you're looking up at me like you want something."

"Maybe I do want something." You shuffle further up his body, settling yourself onto his lap, plush thighs surrounding his hips as you hold onto his forearms for stability.

"And what's what?"

You lean over him, slowly descending upon him, your face hovering just above his. "A kiss?" You wiggle your eyebrows up and down as if to entice him more.

"Go ahead."

"Really?"

"Could always change my mind."

"Meanie," you pout, but you meet him the rest of the way anyway, his lips melding with yours.

Trying to describe your relationship and the intimacy that came along with it was difficult. Trying to describe Mike was difficult. The closest thing that comes to mind is a skittish cat. He wasn't standoffish in the sense that he couldn't talk to anyone, but trying to get anywhere other than skimming the surface with him was a challenge, like a game of tug of war, a delicate balance of push and pull. If you charged forward too quickly, he'd retreat into a corner, baring teeth and claws.

It wasn't his fault, not necessarily. The death of his younger brother being the major catalyst as to why he kept himself so closed off. A death that he blamed on himself for the longest time.

He stayed approachable enough to get along with others on the barest of levels to not cause any problems. for the most part, and any attempts at digging in any deeper than he was willing to allow were met with resistance. If he never gets close, then he never has to lose, even if it means leading an even lonelier life down the road.

The only long-standing relationship he had left was with Abby. His final tether to humanity was the little sister whose life he was holding together with glue sticks and string.

To be honest, it was amazing that you got as close to him as you did. After his short stint at the run-down pizzeria, he asked you out, deciding that he was done trying to flee and cling to the past. It was time to start living in the present, taking care of those who needed him now while he still could.

The kiss is slow, meticulous, and intimate. A word that never used to be in Mike's vocabulary. It's warm. He's warm (and slightly squishy). The heat builds to a simmer inside your tummy.

His hands slide from your thighs to the fat of your hips, squeezing the flesh between his fingers as he pulls you closer against his pelvis, causing a slight whimper to fall from your lips. All you want to do is melt in it, sink into the heat, and slowly let it consume you.

One of your arms wraps around the back of his neck while the other hand cradles his stubbled cheek. It was strange how a man could make you feel as if your whole heart was being consumed all at once. Sickly sweet words come to a boil on your tongue, but you swallow and exchange them for something more simple and primitive. Moans fill the air of his living room, with the more primal part of you taking over.

Your hips begin to rock gently against his, your tongue prodding at his teeth. The groan that comes out of you is a plea for entrance, one which he happily grants, parting his lips and allowing you to swallow him whole.

"That's it."

The kiss becomes a clash of teeth and tongues, nipping at each other's lips while wet muscles glide against one another.

You're not exactly sure why, but kissing Mike like this, in a way that's so raw and unrefined, makes you unbearably needy, not just in the pit of your stomach but in your heart too. You've grown to like this little life you've built here, tending to the seeds of your relationship with care. It hasn't been perfect per se, but it's been yours. You love it. You love his sister. You love him and you can't decipher whether that scares you or not. Excitement and anxiety both make your heart beat to the same erratic rhythm.

He's gentle with how he holds you. Square palms and thick fingers knead the flesh of your sides before sliding down to your rear to give that a firm squeeze as well, his hands guiding your body, rocking it back and forth on his half-hard cock.

A juxtaposition: knuckles once bloody and bruised, calloused fingers with skin split around the nails holding you, caressing your body as if it were velvet. If he were a bit more needy, drunk on love, he'd swear to the heavens that you were softer.

His hands move from your ass to breast, his fingertips delicately sliding up the curves. It's not the first time he's "discovered your body," nor is it the last, but all the times you have sex, which is not often enough, it always feels as loving as the first.

Thumbs brush against the ribs that hide beneath your shirt, soft in a way that makes your heart flutter before they reach their destination, swiping against the soft, stippling peaks of your nipples, your bra having long since been removed earlier that night when you returned to his place. Palms grasp at the fat of your bosom, kneading the flesh.

The roll of your hips increases while your lips separate from his, laying forehead to forehead as you pant lightly against him, breath cascading down his features. The grip of his fingers on your side tightens as he tries to stall your movements. "Stop...stop..." he puffs into your mouth, slight perspiration building on his brow from the heat.

You pout as your hips come to a full stop, peering down at him beneath you.

"I don't want to blow all over the couch," he explains.

"What a lovely mental image you've just given me," you snort, swinging your leg over him as you try to get up, only to be stopped by his hands once more.

"I never said I had a problem with getting my bedsheets dirty, though."

His lips clash with yours as he walks you backward down the hall toward his bedroom. You stumble through the door and crash onto his bed while he flips on his bedside lamp before collapsing on top of you. Another whine escapes you as you feel his hard-on through his PJ bottoms.

"Mike," you exhale, holding onto his shoulders for support.

"I know, I know."

He repositions himself and you, by extension, so that he's lying on top of you properly. Lips move from yours to the corner of your mandible, planting quick kisses all over your skin as if trying to consume you. His facial hair tickles as it brushes against the skin of your neck, causing you to shrink up slightly while releasing a fit of small giggles.

You cling to every part of him just as he does to you, pushing up your shirt to lay claim to every inch of you. Though it's not fully removed, the material is left to rest above the swell of your breasts as he kisses his way down your sternum. He's deliberate as he moves down your body, attempting to cover as much of you in his sweetness as he can.

He takes extra care when he reaches your tummy, fingertips limber and gentle as he caresses the skin. Your eyes stay locked with his as his lips meet the curve of your stomach. Tender kisses are placed across it, showing appreciation for all of the parts of your body, not just the ones you've deemed worthy of his attention.

Sex wasn't always this "easy" between the two of you; even after dancing around each other and finally getting into a relationship, that didn't make all the vulnerability of the act any easier.

He wasn't bad at it by any means; he was just a little misguided. Although sometimes you regret having taught him as well as you have, especially now that he knows how to push all your buttons. 

His palms slide up your legs, from calves to thighs, fingers nestled into the waistband of your underwear and pajama bottoms, tugging them off in one fell swoop. A singular kiss is placed at the height of each thigh before he spreads your legs, exposing your sex to the cool air of his bedroom.

Nothing is said, but he does sit there for a moment, kneeling on the bed above you. When he finally does make his descent upon you, he presses a kiss so delicate right on the pudge of your mons. Then he moves to your left inner thigh, then the right, back and forth, back and forth, scrupulous, patient, and SLOW. The point of which is to get you as wet as possible without having directly touched you yet. It's made abundantly clear when he echoes those same thoughts back to you.

His thumb runs through your slit, dipping into your entrance, enough so that he barely breeches through, collecting some of your slick on the rough pads and dragging it up to your clit, rubbing tentative circles on the bundle of nerves.

"So wet," is all he says while continuing, circular motions with even pressure.

Lucky for him and (un)lucky for you, he can go as slow as he likes tonight, taking all the time in the world to warm you up, despite all your incessant whining.

He leans back to pull off his shirt, revealing a cute tuft of brown hair in the middle of his chest.

"You can be as loud as you want."

He lays on his stomach, right in between your legs, landing a singular kiss straight to your cunt before dragging the length of his tongue from your entrance to clit, giving that a kiss as well. He repeats the action a couple more times before settling himself right on your pussy, nose nestled in the wirey hairs of your mons. The wet muscle worms its way to your pulsing hole, digging in deep to drink down every drop that leaks from you.

It's always difficult to maintain eye contact with him like this; his almond irises are blown so wide that it's as if only his pupils remain. He licks and laps at your cunt like it's the only thing he was made to do. He worships your pussy like it's his favorite thing in the world, and has to prevent himself from humping the bed while he indulges himself in your taste. Even though he knows you find it hot as fuck whenever he cums just from eating you out, he needs to feel you stretched out on his cock.

Though unspoken between the two of you, you know that if you stare at him for too long while he makes out with your cunt, you'll cum way quicker than you mean to, and you know if you cum too quickly, he'll lay there and tongue-fuck you right through your next orgasm, because as much as he eats you out for your pleasure, he eats you out for his pleasure too.

Most of the time, you don't feel like giving him a big ego, so you tilt your head back and screw your eyes shut as his lips pucker around your clit and suckles it into his mouth. Even if you don't meet his gaze, he knows the effect he has on you just by the way your fingers rake through his curls, rooting themselves in his scalp while whimpering praises into the aether.

"Mikey."

The pet name used to make him groan and roll his eyes in frustration, but when you're spread out like this underneath him, it's his most favorite sound in the world.

Your opposite hand drifts to squeeze and knead at your breast, tugging at your nipple. His hand comes up to meet yours, warm and grounding, as he begins to work at your clit even more, sucking it more vigorously than before. Your hips begin to buck against his face, the scratch of his stubble giving your inner thighs a delicious beard burn as the heat begins to reach a boiling point in your belly. His fingers squeeze down on yours against your breast while your fists tighten in his hair.

You look down at him finally, and it's as if he can sense you're watching him because his eyes immediately snap up to meet yours. You can barely make out the slick coating his face in the low lamplight.

He works overtime now that he has your full attention, dragging his hand from your breast to your tummy, giving it a gentle squeeze before bracing his forearm across it, allowing for leverage as he sinks one, then two fingers into your cunt. He's quick but not rough with his movements inside you, curling in just the right spot to make you see stars.

Though your hips are restricted by him, you hurdle toward your impending orgasm. You reach down to meet his hand, and he happily clasps his fingers with yours, breaking eye contact with him when the coil finally snaps. Your back arches while your hand tightens around his, nails digging into the skin of his scalp, moans dribbling from your mouth with every passing second.

He eases you down from your high, kissing his way up your body before pulling off your shift completely and meeting his lips with yours, giving you a taste of yourself. You moan into the kiss, clinging onto him for dear life as you begin to wind down. He knows you're all set when your touch goes from frantic grabbing to gentle caressing.

He looks down at you; your expression is happy and a smidgen dopey, but nowhere near fucked out yet.

"Think you can handle some more?"

"Your tongue game isn't that good."

He scoffs. "Still coherent enough to give me lip, I'd say you're good."

He sits up, reaching toward his nightstand drawer, fishing out a box from inside.

"Oh, a new box of condoms..." You rise to your knees. slinging your arms around Mike from behind, your tits pressed up against his back. "Were you expecting to get laid tonight, Michael?" you tease, slowly kissing his neck.

"You say that as if it wasn't your idea to spend the night when Abby had her sleepover." He fiddles with opening the box, tearing off a single condom from the rest.

"If I recall, you weren't opposing the idea either," you goad, trailing your lips onto his freckled shoulder. "It's good that we're being responsible; now come here. I want more kisses." You take the condom from between his fingers and place it back on his nightstand along with the box as you urge him back down on top of you.

He obliges, his lips meeting yours as you trail all over each other's bodies. His hard cock lays in between your thighs, aching and throbbing with need, so you decide to grant him a little relief. You slide your hand into his boxers and slowly stroke his cock. His breath hitches slightly, bringing amusement to your face as your lips brush against his.

"So hard for me already, poor thing." You nuzzle into his face a little, sliding your nose against his as you lick into his mouth, silently asking for his tongue once again. He gives as much as he can, panting into your kiss.

After just a few minutes of lazily jerking him off, you slide his pants lower on his thighs, bracing his cock right in between your slit and slowly start to rock your hips back and forth. The kiss becomes lazy, just tongues caressing each other while moans echo throughout the room, every vein from his cock brushing up against your clit as the two of you rock together. The heat and slick making both of you quiver.

You release him on the brink of going too far, choosing to then reach over for the singular packet, the shiny foil catching in the light.

"Can you manage to put this on, or do I need to do it?" you jest.

"I got it." He sits himself on the edge of the bed, plucking the condom from your grasp. You hear the sound of the package tearing, and soon after his bottoms are gone too, both of you nude together.

"So, how you wanna do this?" he asks while rolling on the latex.

"Wanna be in your lap."

"Are you sure your legs can handle that?" he chuckles, caressing your thigh.

"My legs aren't made of jello," you retort, getting up on your knees while he scoots backward.

"Alright, but no complaining if you get tired."

You crawl over toward him, and he reaches out for you, taking hold of your hips as you swing one leg over both of his.

"Hi," you say as you're face to face with him, one arm slung lazily over his shoulder, grazing his back, the other resting against his cheek as your finger strokes his cheek.

"Hey," he chirps back.

You give him a quick kiss, moving your hand from his face to his cock, feeding him through your entrance, and sinking down on him slowly, the two of you groaning into each other's mouths. Your tummy folds in on itself as you reach the base.

You're not sure if you'll ever get used to the intimacy of it all. No matter how many times you go through this, you wonder if the feeling of overwhelming consumption will subside. If one day, it won't feel like Mike is looking right into your soul every time you have sex.

You whimper slightly as you settle, his girth stretching you out deliciously. You cup his face as your lips search for his again. His hand moves to caress you, one hand gliding down your spine and the other grabbing the fatty flesh at the bend of your hip joint. They never stay in place, though,  always on the move, making sure no part of your body is left undesired.

You roll your hips for the most part, bouncing only every so often when you want to feel the stretch of being filled again, mostly wanting to enjoy the feeling of being so close together, so connected. Taking simple pleasures in the feeling of him just being inside you. The hairs that spackle the base of his cock work to add pleasure to your clit. 

He kisses his way down your neck, smiling against your skin as he does it, taking in deep breaths of your scent while his hands continue their caress to your breasts, making sure to show them the attention that he neglected while he was eating you out.

His lips move toward your nipple, kissing it before letting his tongue lull out of his mouth, flicking it back and forth.

"Mmm...Mike." Your cunt clenches around him at his efforts, your fingers curling into the hair that sits at the nape of his neck.

His opposite hand slides to your front, rubbing up and down along the curves of your body til it settles on the other breast, rolling the nipple between his digits. His tongue traces around your areola before sucking the nipple into his mouth.

"Christ, Mike," you whine as he locks eyes with you, the movement of your hips quickening with every suck.

This is the only time you get so whiny, when the two of you are in a position like this, so enraptured with each other, in each other's pleasure. You become so sweet and pliant.

He detaches himself from your nipple and eases you onto your back, grabbing the fat of your thighs and pushing them toward your chest so he can fuck you like you need, like you both need. You're not sure if Mike will ever admit to this, but he needs the intimacy as much as you do.

He's deliberate when he sinks back into you, grinding when he reaches the hilt.

When he pulls out, he develops a slow rhythm, one you can both enjoy with its progression. Despite its calm nature, every thrust of his heavy cock ruts into exactly where you need it, rubbing against the spongey spot inside you that makes your toes curl, that lights a fire in your belly and makes you needy once again.

As the moment continues to build, on the precipice of climax, he speaks to you through the haze of pleasure.

"Still need me to kiss you to cum?" He taunts. He knows the answer.  It's been the same ever since the two of you got together. The intimacy between the two of you gets you off more than anything else. 

You pull him down til he's practically on top of you, his body weight against yours, your tummy folding up so nicely as you lay nose to nose. His scent and his skin on yours grounds you like nothing else. You don't even mind the stretch of your thighs as he holds himself against you.

"Don't act like you don't need this too." You extend your neck in an attempt to push your lips forward on his. "You enjoy intimacy more than your grumpy face lets on." Your eyes are just barely glazed over, the same dopey grin plastered on your face as you reach out to him.

"Shut it," he huffs, pressing his lips into yours for a searing kiss, fucking into you with as much vigor as he can muster. The springs of his mattress squeak wildly as he fucks you through it.

As much as he tries to deflect, he knows it's the truth too. He needs the closeness as well. The intimacy, the skin-to-skin contact, the sweat, the heat, the love

You mewl into the kiss, wrapping your arms around him tightly. Your orgasm sits just beyond the horizon, your cunt clenching down on him harder and harder with every sloppy smack of his lips against yours. The need and desperation grow as your bodies cling together, never wanting to part, edging closer and closer to ecstasy.

You glide your hand down to your clit, rubbing in tight circles as your orgasm crests, taking over your body and moaning into his mouth loudly as you pull him down even further. You're reduced to nothing but babbles and whimpers as he fucks you through your orgasm.

You feel the same words as before bubble up on your tongue. He's here, his body encapsulating yours as close as humanly possible; he's so warm, so safe. He's here, he's yours, and you love him.

You let the words escape you this time, refusing to let them fizzle out into nothingness.

"I love you, Mike," you whisper in his ear.

It's not more than a few seconds later that he's spilling into the condom, his hips still sloppily thrusting and letting out an unexpectedly loud groan while clinging to you.

The air settles, and Mike is still nestled inside you. Your fingers comb through his hair as he brushes along your side, leaving a kiss on your skin every so often, enjoying the afterglow of sex. 

You're the first to break through the silence.

"Shower now or in the morning?"

"Morning," he groans, somewhat groggy after everything that went down. He pulls out, getting up to remove the condom and tie it off, tossing it in the waste basket under his nightstand, making a mental note to dispose of it properly later.

"I'm gonna go pee, then we'll snuggle up for the night," you tell him as you head toward the bathroom before he has a chance to trap you in bed with sleepy cuddles.

"Don't fall in," he smirks, feeling proud of himself, and you grin at him for being an idiot.

As you go to wash your hands after finishing up, you hear a muffled. "I love you too" through the bathroom door.

[therentyoupay]

Hiiii I need help

I’m having trouble writing a fight scene between two characters in a relationship. I don’t want it to be a break up sort of fight, just a healthy spat between lovers that will make their relationship all the stronger after they resolve it. But I’m not really well versed in “healthy conflict” so I was hoping you’d have some questions to keep in mind/tips experience you could share because you’re an amazing writer 🙏🏻

HELLO MY DARLING

first, thank you so much for your sweet words. 😭😭😭😭😭😭🙏 second, i have been pondering your question for a day and a half!

i have been really thinking about it and i have some initial thoughts… but i am sure that this post will just be the start of an ongoing conversation. i think the word i have been chewing on is “healthy.” on the one hand, there are certain things that most people might universally agree as “healthy conflict” in a relationship (or nearly universally), and then there are things that are very culture-dependent (and i do not mean this necessarily in the essentialist sense, i.e., nation-state-as-culture, but also in terms of ‘doing culture’ according to family, friends, region, socioeconomic status, social rank, behaviors, etc.). and then there are things in each relationship that may be less healthy than the ideal but still healthy in the long run, in the sense that it provides space for growth; couples have horribles fights that nearly tear them apart but, for whatever reason, don’t. in my experience, both in life and in fiction, sometimes i think these can often be the hardest, toughest fights, because they have the lowest lows but the highest potential for hope/resolution/something better.

if i am thinking on what it is about these fights that make them so painful and exhausting and “i just want to find a way to fix this but i can’t see the way forward and i am going to stay because i love them but i don’t have the tools right now to get out of this hole,” here’s what comes to mind:

both people are in pain

somehow, trust has been lost to some degree

one or both people do not currently feel safe, either from judgment or abandonment… maybe both… maybe something else too

a disagreement may turn “ugly” so quickly when things that are shared in confidence are thrown back in someone’s face, or some vulnerable sticking point that is supposed to be protected is being used against them in the heat of the argument because things begin to escalate so quickly

at what point can one person step in and find a space to pause/timeout; table the conversation; de-escalate? if neither can, the fight gets worse. if at least one can… that could be the turning point for a softer resolution, even if the other person needs additional coaxing or convincing to join them in the de-escalation. can both suddenly or eventually pause and de-escalate? through humor? through a release of emotion at the core under the anger, like tears and sadness?

at some point during these fights, or perhaps after, one or both might start to feel shame… for their behaviors, their reactions, their words… how can one person bridge the gap that was created when one or both crossed a line? (or many lines?) sometimes all it can take is a hug to lessen the divide, and sometimes apologies are necessary, and plans for changing behaviors, and explanations, or any combination. so how does one (or both) handle their apology? are they both good at taking accountability and learning at this stage in their relationship? do they make good on their promises to change, or at least try? (we are human after all!)

does the resolution match the degree of the fight? if something was weaponized, has it been dismantled by the end, or is it left hanging in the air, even after the apology or de-escalation?

definitely lots to think about! i think the degree of “healthy” is going to depend on a lot of factors, and will inevitably also be influenced by your readers’ personal experiences and what they bring to their interpretations! but definitely things to potentially keep in mind: who is in pain and why? what tools do they have to resolve the pain? are they scared to solve it or not solve it (or both)? how well can they solve it at this moment in time—or later?

thank you for the ask!!!! 💕💕💕💕 good luck and keep me posted!!! i hope these are helpful. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

also, others: please feel free to add additional thoughts and considerations!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[rawmeknockout]

hello

Um. Can I get some fluffy TFA Blitzwing/Bumblebee/Bot!Reader poly? Just some headcanons for how they show affection/cuddles/etc? Also, can bot!reader be like. Kinda Large? Not Blitzwing big, but like- maybe roughly Optimus size? Apologies if this is a bit much, I love your writing. Sorry if this breaks any rules as well, have a nice day/night okie byeeee

01 + Bumblebee has the size kink in the relationship, if it isn't obvious. He loves to be manhandled and tossed around but he also likes to show off his strengths (when he can). WILL attempt to pick you up, but most of the time it's you holding Bee in your arms.

02 + Blitzwing is more tender than you would expect. There was a full mech there before the war even started, obviously, so he's kind of just a normal guy under the pomp and bravado of being an important Decepticon soldier. There's nothing he values more than loyalty. Your opposing factions in the relationship is a big sore spot for him, even if Bumblebee tells him to chill out and stop borrowing tomorrow's problems. It doesn't stop Blitzwing from getting tense and frustrated about it, because Bee NEVER wants to deal with it. You end up mediating a lot of arguments because they both have big personalities (there are many voices vying for attention lol).

03 + Bee is extremely bossy and is always taking charge of you two, even if Blitzwing is a bit combative. Bee plans the dates most of the time and causes a lot of the early problems in the relationship. He's a young, inexperienced guy so he's not only insecure and jealous in the early days, but he runs into issues just trying to keep your relationship a secret. Even if Blitzwing nearly blows a gasket, you have to be the one to bring it around and treat Bee gently but with a firmness and stability.

04 + There's nothing Bee loves more than climbing all over the two of you. His own personal workout equipment. He'd parkour off Blitzwing if he could (Blitz tends to get a bit too frustrated with him for that to be possible).

05 + You're the kisser and cuddler in the relationship. It's not that Bee and Blitzwing don't love it, they obviously do, but they've got 'tough guy' personas to keep up. You, again, have to be the more mature one. Blitzwing comes around to letting out his softer side, Bumblebee, however, will always be buying into his own hype and feel to embarrassed to initiate softer affection.

06 + That said, Bee loves to make out. Kissing on one conjunx then turning and kissing on the other. That's that good shit, baby.

07 + Blitzwing only really gets quiet time when he's with the two of your, so he really would prefer no distractions. No video games and no work, he just want his two mecha in his arms. Bee tends to get squirmy, but Blitz is nothing if not persistent.

08 + He also expects his fair share of being doted on and kissed after the Decepticons (inevitably) lose another fight. He won't ever SAY it, but you better tell him how strong he was and how the loss was in no way his fault. Kind of a baby tbh.

09 + It's not exactly one of his hobbies, but he does love the idea of a romantic dance. Of course, that would make you the obvious dance partner. Bee doesn't want to do any fancy shmancy waltz or anything, but seeing you two dance without him does make him a little jealous so he'll want to weasel his way in. He doesn't get jealous in a "don't forget me" way, more in a "oh you guys think you're so romantic together well watch THIS". Proceeding to bust out the best moves he's learned on Earth. It's both endearing and makes Blitzwing lose his marbles.

10 + Personality swapping is far less common when it's just the three of you. Blitzwing's personalities tend to swap out more as a reaction to the environment and external factors, but when it can be just him and his partners there's less of a reason for his personalities to swap out. That doesn't mean it absolutely won't happen, but for the most part, as long as each personality gets enough canoodling time, he tends to not hop around from personality to personality.

[multifandomfix]

Vanessa Ives Smut Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

No matter what role she’s played, she’s going to have a drop after. So it’s left to you to get her through it before she’s able to make it up to you.

B = Body part (favorite body part of their partner’s)

She loves your legs and the way they quiver when you’re just about to come.

C = Collar (do they mark you as theirs in some way?)

If you want her to, then she will happily do so. She’d never want to inflict it on you, but if it’s your choice, that’s different. She’d probably buy you some intricate choker that has her initial on it.

D = Dominant (who is in control? are they a top or bottom?)

She’s a switch. Sometimes she’s animalistic in her need for control, other times she just wants to surrender herself fully to you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

She has a modicum of experience, but she likes to expand her horizons and learn with you to find what works best for both of you and your relationship.

F = Fuck (do they prefer to fuck or make love?)

About 50/50. Sometimes it’s a little of both at once. And it will vary from one time to the next.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

She tries to be more serious in the moment, but there are times with each of you that just dissolve into the silliness of the moment and end up cuddling instead.

H = Hot (what turns them on, gets them going)

She likes to reread the steamier letters that you’ve exchanged and remembering past times you’ve shared together until she starts making plans for next time.

I = Insatiable (how do they act when they’re desperate to have you?)

Her voice gets low, and she’ll tempt you with whispered promises or hastily written notes if she doesn’t dare to be overheard. And she won’t rest until she’s got you home and in her bed.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

She isn’t big on self pleasure, though it does scratch the itch from time to time. She does however, like guided masturbation where her own hand is like an extension of you, as you tell her how to touch herself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Vanessa loves sensory play in all forms. Blindfolds to heighten sensations? She’s all for it. Temperature play? She’s in.

L = Location (favorite places to have sex)

Anywhere around the home, really. She tends to stick to the bedroom mostly, but doesn’t mind switching up the location if you’re feeling like it.

M = Mood (what’s the foreplay like? how do you get them in the mood?)

She loves it when you trail your fingertips all over her body before you get to the really good parts. The tingling sensation drives her crazy.

N = Naked (how do they undress? do they like to watch you undress?)

There’s a lot of layers and intricacies with unfastening things, so even if you’re in a rush, it will take a while and neither of you see the sense in prolonging it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

She doesn’t have a preference when it comes to giving or receiving, as she likes both equally. And her skill is certainly not lacking.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

She most often chooses the softer, slower, gentler side of things. Though that does not mean there isn’t room for rougher play from time to time.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies aren’t something she truly enjoys. There are times that there’s an exception to the rule, however.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

She is more than willing to experiment with you in the bedroom. She isn’t afraid of risk, as long as you’re also agreeable to it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Two or three rounds on average. Sometimes less, sometimes more. It really just depends on her mood and the day she’s had.

T = Tryst (are they into casual sex or one night stands?)

No. She values connection to explore levels of intimacy with her partner, so a casual arrangement really isn’t her cup of tea.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

She can definitely tease you if she feels like it, and she knows every single way to drive you absolutely mad with lust.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

She can be loud, but not as a rule. She does moan like crazy though. You’ve never once told her to hold back.

W = Wait (how long do they wait before having sex with their partner for the first time?)

Perhaps up to several months in. She’ll know when the time is right and so will you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Vanessa has the perfect Victorian aesthetic. Her skin resembles porcelain for how pale it is. She looks fragile and it’s a wonder of softness to touch her skin.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not astronomically high, but perhaps a bit higher than the average woman.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

She needs time to wind down after, so it will be an hour or so before she’s able to drift off.

For @athenodora-sulpicia-writer

Vanessa Ives: @readingwithrhia, @speedytimetravelgalaxy, @beyondgaby, @lady-darkswan3, @athenodora-sulpicia-writer

[temmtamm]

⚡︎ROTTMNT GROUP ROMANTIC HCS⚡︎

(Requests open and welcomed)

~ᥫ᭡MIKEYᥫ᭡~

Definitely the most affectionate

Loves involving his S/O into his daily life in any way possible

Like, if the boys are playing video games or going somewhere he's quick to invite you

Can get suffocating at times but if you remind him that you need space, he'll give it to you- albeit for a short period of time

He loves spontaneous acts of affection such as sudden showing up to your home or the reverse as well as surprises, gifts, and even just surprise cuddles.

His favorite thing to do with you is sleepovers where you two can watch can stacking videos together and eat snacks.

I like to think he'd try and recreate some of chef "Meat Sweats" meals for you as gifts.

He also might like to draw for you since he is a bit of an artist.

He really loves you with his whole heart and tries his best to show it with his actions.

~✰DONNIE✰~

The least likely to show his love through affection.

Not that he hates it, he just sometimes forgets it or isn't in the mood.

Has a bit of an ego and tries to make over the top inventions to have you feed into it and praise him.

Speaking of praise, He absolutely goes crazy when you give him some.

He thinks he's the smartest alive so to have someone agree with him on that makes him feel on top of the world.

He can also be a bit selfish and can often forget to treat you like a lover instead of a friend so he might need a bit of talking to.

He is extremely jealous though, so when you start hanging out with his brothers or someone else while he's busy, He'll most likely put his work on pause to finally give you attention.

When you two actually do romantic stuff together such as dates he likes to go all out for it. Hes a bit of a perfectionist so he likes it when his plans go amazingly. This usually means he'll take you to a fancy restaurant or for a stroll to the finest parts of town.

He can freak out at the slightest thing going wrong though so sometimes it's better if you end up being the one to plan the dates.

Will make tiny little bots like S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. for you and your everyday life to make it just a bit easier on you.

Even though you have to take the initiative a lot, he loves you dearly and is trying to be better about showing it.

~𖤓RALPH𖤓~

PDA all the way, baby!!

Loves to spar with you if/when you are willing too, though he tends to go a bit softer on you than he does with his brothers

If you have stuffed animals they have to be turned away from you two before you guys cuddle.

He thinks that you are the coolest person alive and are practically invincible.

Very protective over you if you join him when they battle mutants.

Can be a bit clingy, but for the most part he is very chill.

Yknow that golden retriever boyfriend meme? He's pretty much that to a T.

The kindest person you will ever meet, even if he can be a bit of an airhead

he's very lively and can't stay in one spot for long so he absolutely loves to take you on dates 24-7

~❀LEO❀~

Loves bragging about you to the others

He throws "I love you" out constantly, not because it lacks meaning to him but because he likes to remind you in case you forgot

Like Donnie, He likes to show off his portals or tricks in exchange for your praise and support.

Will always try and teleport you to your guys's dates which mostly ends up in y'all ending up in the middle of nowhere or stuck in a different city.

Very flirty and loves to use his words to express his feelings.

Whenever he sees you out in public he likes to act like he's never seen you before and that this is his first time flirting with you.

Stuff like, "Hey, beautiful! You got a boyfriend?" Is often his go to but he sometimes likes to get creative with it.

Loves to be covered in kisses and held when y'all cuddle. He is the small spoon and I will stand by this.

Thanks for reading~

[wordsandrobots]

I was sorting through a few things today and realised I never actually shared the sketches I did from when I was trying to work out what grown-up Shino looked like for To Catch a Falling Star. Mostly because they are not great. But hey, let's call this back-matter for the fic!

[EDIT: OH RIGHT THAT WAS WHY I DIDN'T POST IT. Tumblr objecting to his having nipples. Right, OK, I guess we're censoring that and not the actual signs of massive injury. Cool.]

Things to note:

The scars I explicitly stated in the text are: scarring up his neck but not extending to his head, a large burn on his left flank , an oval-shaped burn around his whisker (yes, exactly the shape you're thinking), and a strip of replaced skin taking up most of his right thigh. The rest are generally covered by 'there's a fuck-ton of them'.

(I mentioned this in the fic notes but the reason there are no scars on his face is because his helmet sealed shut right before Flauros depressurised, protecting his head from all but superficial damage. This saved his life but didn't do much for the rest of him, which was injured by the explosions and the normal-suit attempting to self-repair damage.)

Shino starts out in the fic with his head shaved but when he grows his hair back, he's (at least initially) somewhat shaggier than he was as a teenager.

He is also considerably less hench than he used to be. He's still roughly the same dimensions, but not nearly as defined and is even a bit gaunt-looking in certain lights. Traumatic everything injuries will do that to a person.

His new ear-studs are all gold; unlike Kudelia's, there is no jewel.

When I was originally thinking about the prosthetic connector, you can seen that my ideas tended a bit more Trigun-esque than is perhaps warranted. That's because I hadn't yet seen this picture of Argi Mirage's arm from the manga:

The cap on the end should therefore probably be a lot smaller and flow more cleanly into the flesh, ala a whisker, and so the outline should more resemble a real-life residual limb.

His prosthetic should also be closer to the above than I drew it -- or rather, closer to Derma's, since they're made by the same person:

I imagine there being a greater amount of plastic and otherwise non-metal sections than Moon Steel shows with Argi. Certainly, from the shot above, it seems Derma's hand is inside a flexible glove instead of just being nakedly robotic (which makes sense, he works with children whereas Argi mainly hits people for a living).

Oh, yes, for those who haven't read the fic: Shino's prosthetic having five digits is *very much* significant and plot-relevant. Actually, thinking it through now, that would explain why (per my descriptions) Shino's fingers have exposed metal parts over a softer bed of tactile sensors: to better protect them given that they're more vulnerable to damage than standard three-finger manipulators.

Anyway, there we have it. Character redesign thoughts! I should probably have another go at drawing him at some point, though I would need to get back into the swing of sketching first. Maybe when I'm done writing! (On top of everything else I plan to do when the last fic in the series is finished . . .)

[artblock-tm]

Can I get the director's commentary on literally anything you want from Shadow Rift. You can do the whole book if you want. I wanna hear your thoughts

Okay okay okay SO! Grr Shadow Rift. Me and my complicated relationship with Shadow Rift………

For those who don’t know DP Lore, Shadow Rift was a fic originally posted to a different website by a different author. The author wanted to abandon it, but I really enjoyed it, so I reached out to them and asked if I could continue it. Shockingly, they agreed, but I had to follow the original idea for their story.

Writing (part of) og Shadow Rift really dipped my toes into fic writing, and was what initially drew in some of my oldest readers (hi Marci). However, after some years of improvement as a writer with the publication of Masked, I just… didn’t like the story anymore. So I reached out to the original author again for permission to rewrite it and they basically just gave me full control of Shadow Rift.

I won’t talk about it too much since they’ve asked to remain anonymous, but they weren’t satisfied with it either but didn’t have the spoons to finish it. And that’s what brought us to Shadow Rift THE REWRITE!

Now that I think about it… I wish I hadn’t deleted my SR planning doc as soon as the epilogue was published… oops.

ANYWAY. SR is quite different from the original, both in quality of writing and character. While the plot moved generally in the same direction, some lore things were changed and the characters actually had concrete ARCS! WOAH! INCREDIBLE!

Like Hat Kid had an arc that improved her view on the world, however subtly. Although you may argue that it was the return of her soul that did this, the soul was only the macguffin. Her developing relationship with Snatcher is what made her develop as well!

Speaking of Snatcher… ugh he was so fun to write. I loved his and Hattie’s dynamic of continually butting heads. I love the parallels that originally appear as foils… AND it was great to make Snatcher an actual character too! I got to fill him with transgender allegory! Happy pride!

However, the character that drew the most evil giggles from me as I planned how to screw over was none other than Elliot. Oh, Elliot, how I love putting you through the wringer. I also had so much fun giving him a new character arc… in the opposite direction of Snatcher’s.

While Snatcher’s perception of himself merges together and he comes to accept himself and Elliot as the same person, just with changes, Elliot comes to make a distinction between himself and Snatcher. Snatcher is okay with himself, including Elliot, but Elliot isn’t.

Snatcher to me is a lot of hard edges with a softer demeanor. Even though he’s soulless, that doesn’t make someone incapable of kindness (like Hattie thought).

But Elliot is the inverse. He’s all soft edges with a sharp pointed center. And, understandably, the events he’d been through- bodysharing, getting cursed, literally mind-merging with Snatcher for a hot minute- wore his patience thin. It doesn’t help that his fate, like Hattie’s, was swiftly approaching, only his was unavoidable.

It shouldn’t be selfish to want to live, but isn’t it tragic that his actions only ended up speeding the process of his and Hattie’s death? Hehe.

Those are my thoughts on the main characters, but there are some minor ones I’d like to comment on too.

I’m sure that many readers noticed that Karmin wasn’t originally part of AHiT! Yes, I used Shadow Rift as an excuse to write her more. And if you noticed that the arc with her was surprisingly open-ended, that was intentional! You see, I did it for thematic purposes. I’m not gonna hold your hand on this one though.

More importantly, though, Vanessa.

Urgh. Vanessa.

I’ve never been able to write her adequately (UNTIL RECENTLY!! I LISTENED TO MISS MISERYGUTS BY RIP AND EVERYTHING CLICKED!! EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU TO GRACEBETH3604 FOR INTRODUCING ME TO IT!!!), but I’ve had kind of a renaissance on Prince and Vanessa characterization recently. SR!Vanessa was a way for me to experiment with a Vanessa that regretted her actions.

But don’t get me wrong- she doesn’t regret them because she’s becoming a better person- she regretted her actions because they had consequences for her, too. She lost her prince and she came to grieve that loss, but not what she did.

(Also Elliot getting cursed was essentially a nod to Gracebeth3604 also. A!au my beloved. Makes me go insane)

For those people who know the original story, they’d know that the whole thing stayed in Subcon. I thought that was rather stale, so I had the setting move to Alpine, and then to Time’s End. That was fun :)

and ummmm I think I’ve run out of things to say! Sorry I started watching a movie in the middle of writing this and for so caught up in analyzing it that I forgot everything I meant to say

[cheeseburgersinparadise]

Editor's note: this ended up longer than intended, but I think it was worth it

Submitted for the approval of the horny Tuesday society:

Lately I've been thinking of a cross-country road trip to all the viral food, challenge meal, "Guy ate here," "world's largest ___" restaurants in the nation. All culminating to a stop at the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas

Imagine packing a set of clothes that fit for the eating partner. Maybe they're even a size too big, just in case. Before leaving, you weigh them. They're under Heart Attack Grill's threshold for free burgers, but you think you can change that before you get there.

This trip is slower than many other cross-country trips. Turns out, there's a lot more famous eateries than you two initially anticipated. That's fine though, your feedee is beyond excited to visit more eateries.

It quickly becomes evident that eating several massive resturant meals a day is having an effect on the feedee. They are absolutely blowing up, getting bigger and softer with every passing state. The clothes that you originally packed have become inadequate for containing them and wardrobe malfunctions become increasingly common. What they don't know is that you've been saving all the buttons they pop along they way.

After a long trip, there's only one stop left. The Heart Attack Grill. Your road trip buddy has done so well this entire trip and has gobbled up everything put in front of them. They've really grown, it's completely undeniable. They waddle up to the massive scale at the front of the restaurant excited to see the progress they made on this journey.

Your guess at the start of the trip was right, they have blown way past the weight threshold. After a moment of celebration, they hurry back to you and tell you with short breath that they plan to take full advantage of the free food. You tell them how proud you are and present them with a necklace made with all the buttons they popped throught the trip. They thank you as they put it on before you two head inside.

They weren't kidding, they're scarfing down burgers and fries like they were starving. All washed down with rich shakes and soda. Their clothes become more restrictive and you tease that you'll need to make an addition to the necklace by the end of the meal. Your waitress decided that such a display of gluttony shouldn't go unnoticed. She starts encouraging them each time she comes back with more food and loudly announcing the count of each sandwich they finish for the other patrons to cheer on.

By the end of the feast, they are absolutely stuffed and whining that they can hardly move. With all the attention they ate far more than they had before and now they're practically begging for some care. You give them a gentle rub and tell them they deserve anything they need for being so good today and during the whole trip.

I’ve been waiting all day to answer this bc I wanted to give it the attention it deserves. I wanted to write something inspired by this but my brain isn’t cooperating today. You’re a fuckin hero for sending this to me; thank you so much.

there’s a lot of soft bits in here that are so cute - the button necklace (which tbh could be cute as hell depending on the design), the aftercare, the challenge to gain x amount of weight before the final destination, the romance of an American road trip…

I’ve talked before about how fun a feedism road trip would be, eating at all fun places as you cross the country and I think the idea of ending it in Vegas is perfect.

Thank you again!

[mermaidsirennikita]

HR with the moral compass trope please!!!! It can be the hero or heroine

Hi! I assume this is the "x person is my moral compass" thing, right? Maybe morality chain-lite? Forgive me lol, I hope this is the right vibe.

Obviously, there's Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas, if you haven't read it yet. I find that Evie really holds Sebastian to a higher standard.

I recently read Lorraine Heath's Beyond Scandal and Desire. Mick Trewlove isn't a horrible person, but he is... morally dubious, and his entire plan is to destroy peoples' lives for revenge. When he meets Aslyn, her dignity and goodness slowly erodes his resentment, and again, she holds him to a higher stanfard.

Shadowheart by Laura Kinsale IIIIS this. The hero is a totally coldhearted assassin, and initially forces the heroine to marry him for entirely self-centered reasons. He teaches her a thing or two and she becomes a bit more jaded, but overall she stays strong and fucks with his sense of morality. There's a beautiful scene where he's like "go take confession, but I'm not going because I'm anathema and can't be in a Church" (looollll he's very dramatic) and she's basically like "I'm not going to until you do, because if I go to Heaven without you it's not Heaven". It's BEAUTIFUL. TW: first encounter is non.

Kinsale is really good at this, and For My Lady's Heart (which comes before Shadowheart, about a different couple) also has this. However, in this case the heroine is known as this cold snake of a woman, and the hero is this knight who pledged himself to her like, over a decade ago and hasn't seen her since. He's really disappointed with the person she turns out to be lol. He isn't perfect, but he's more idealistic than her, and softens her a lot, makes her question her life, etc.

Aaaand another Kinsale. Flowers from the Storm has a hedonistic rake hero (like, he literally has a pregnant mistress in the beginning and is like "whatever pass the kid off as your husband's") who goes through a total life change (he has a stroke which makes it difficult for him to process language and therefore he can't speak) and is taken care of by this very pure-hearted Quaker girl who he begins to fall for. She has to relax a little, but he also learns about a different perspective from her.

What I Did for a Duke has a revenge-driven hero who seeks to seduce this heroine to get back at her brother. HOWEVER! She knows his game from the beginning. He begins to soften and sort of go back to this softer, kinder version of himself through her.

The Madness of Viscount Atherbourne by Elisa Braden has another "vengeful heroine learns better through the heroine" story. The hero is trying to avenge himself upon the heroine's brother (who I think killed his brother in a duel) and ruins her, forcing a marriage. But she accepts better of him, and he has to rise to the occasion.

The Dragon and The Pearl by Jeannie Lin. In this case, the heroine is a bit tricky herself, but is ultimately a much better person than the hero (a warlord who takes her captive lol) and he finds himself basically crumbling for her.

Hugo and The Maiden by S.M. LaViolette. I've referred to this as "Devil in Winter if Sebastian lived a rougher life". The hero is a famous sex worker who's entirely money-motivated and cynical. He's framed for a crime that gets him transported, and due to a shipwreck, ends up stranded on this tiny island, where he ends up getting entangled with the vicar's daughter, who's very moralistic and expects better form him. He totally falls for he and is like "FINE!!!! I GUESS I HAVE TO BE A GOOD PERSON NOW!!!". It's so good. TW: discussion of sexual abuse in the past, though he's remarkably blase about it.

When the Duke Was Wicked (Rum On Lips) has some of this, as the hero is this ridiculous rake and when he begins hanging with the heroine, he's like ".... oh no she's reawakening my heart...."

Angel in a Devil's Arms by Julie Anne Long. This one has a hero who was presumed dead returning, back for Revenge. The heroine actually isn't perfect; she was a married man's mistress, and has since made friend's with the guy's widow and is running a boarding house. But she wants to do better for herself, which is why she's resisting him, and he has to work on himself to be worthy of her.

The Serpent Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt. This one is great. The hero is a rake, borderline villain, and the sweet, pure heroine picks him up when he's like... dead on the side of the road lmao. He has to shape up for her, and she's very much his moral compass.

The Devil of Downton by Joanna Shupe. This hero is a literal gang leader in Gilded Age New York, and the heroine is a do-gooder who he intends to corrupt... But she has more of an effect on him than he expected.

The Rakess by Scarlett Peckham. The heroine of this one is an unrepentant "rakess" (albeit with a backstory that makes it understandable) and she gets lured back into reexamining her extremely messy life by a kind widower with two kids.

How to Marry a Marquess by Stacy Reid. This hero has been super rejected by society because he recognized his illegitimate daughter, and the heroine is his longtime friend who accesses a softer side of him. She's by no means perfect, but I do think you get this idea (and she's his other friend's sister, so he's very guilty when he begins... teaching her things).

The Duke Gets Even by Joanna Shupe. I think Lockwood is a mild version of this for Nellie, in the "emotional key" sense. Like, she's definitely not a bad person, but she is very emotionally closed off, and Lockwood spends so much of that book (after promising a no strings affair lmao) going "BITCH I LOVE YOU PLEASE LOVE ME BACK" and it's honestly both beautiful and extremely funny.

Untamed by Elizabeth Lowell. The hero of this one is a 90s Elizabeth Lowell hero, so of course he's trash, while the heroine is a genuinely good person who begins to crack open his heart after their arranged marriage.

How to Steal A Scoundrel's Heart by Vivienne Lorret. The heroine in this one is ruined and turns to the hero to have him as her "protector". He does this thing where he gives his mistresses four month contracts and then drops them with a severance in order to keep emotions at bay. She's a sweet person and totally turns his world upside down.

The Duke and The Lady in Red by Lorraine Heath. This is another one where the heroine isn't perfect, but she has a good heart and moves the hero the right direction. He's a super hedonistic rake who cares for no one, and she's actually a con artist--but with VERY good reasons. At first he's pissed when he realizes she's conning him (early in the book) but once he knows that reason... It totally changes his life.

[angelsandemons]

((Okay but what if, for the Ultimate Ship Meme, it is a crack ship between Bill Cipher and one of the HH characters? Bill and Sera? Bill and Adam? ??? Whatever Bill crack ship makes the most sense to you haha!

Oh my gosh...hear me out: Bill and Nifty. I will put a * at the end of each bolded item as well.

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful* | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs*

How long will they last? - As long as it takes for Bill to try and kill Alastor or vice versa.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - For Nifty? It would be pretty instant. Bill is the true ultimate bad boy. For Bill? It'd be less love and more that he loves having her around because she's extremely cooperative and unhinged but in a good way. Bill would also watch her roach puppet shows without booing, but because he genuinely would find it hilarious.

How was their first kiss? - Pretty fantastic actually. Lots of tongue.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Nifty

Who is the best man/men? - Charlie because she was literally the only one willing.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Vaggie because Charlie talked her into it.

Who did the most planning? - Pretty equal actually.

Who stressed the most? - Nifty

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big*

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Valentino and Vox, but only at Al and Angel's request. They were going to invite everyone.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Bill

Who is the one to instigate things? - Initially, definitely Nifty. But once they get to know each other better? Kind of equal.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head*

How long do they normally last? - It varies a lot, but they can go at it for a while once they're really getting into it

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? -  They don't, but like....they're both so naturally sadomasochistic, I think they end up doing so anyway.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8* | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2* | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Oh god, can you imagine? None, I hope.

How many children will they adopt? - See above.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - 100% would be Nifty

Who is the stricter parent? - Nifty, but really only with cleaning

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Neither of them, good luck kid.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Nifty

Who is the more loved parent? - Prooobably nifty? If only because Bill is just kind of an asshole in general. Unless Bill WANTED to be the more loved parent, then he could absolutely get there with some effort.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Neither.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Nifty

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Bill, but less bail out and more break out.

Cooking: 

Who does the most cooking? - Probably Nifty

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Probably Nifty

Who does the grocery shopping? - Bill

How often do they bake desserts? - Either one of them doing that is going to make a mess. Doing it together? The kitchen will probably catch fire. Not often.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Meat

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Nifty

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Bill

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Equally likely

Chores: 

Who cleans the room? - Nifty

Who is really against chores? - Bill

Who cleans up after the pets? - Nifty

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Bill

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Nifty

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Nifty

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Nifty

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Bill

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - If it's for a party, they go all out. Otherwise they don't particularly care.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Have fun.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Bill

Who plays the most pranks? - Bill

[okcomputeroknotok19972017]

lays on my stomach and KICKS MY FEET tell me about ur saw ocs!!!!!

OOOOOOOKAAYYYYY admittedly they are not the most fleshed out but i initially made them for an english assignment in late 2020 when my saw special interest first began and now they're Here. lydia is a self-destructive and generally unpleasant petty thief flunking art school. she's constantly angry, nasty, abrasive, never has anything nice to say, she's pretty much perpetually attempted suicide again sometime within the last two weeks. she's worse than adam, at least he could chill out for a fucking moment. lydia started art school with her parents' help back when she believed her life was worth living, now she keeps her grades and attendance up just barely enough to keep living on campus for the time being while she steals from the register and collects from a card skimmer at her night shift at the convenience store. here's some extremely old art from 2020 lol ...

sebastian meanwhile is a fairly mild mannered young man working at a credit union -- he used to sweep the floors and work the front desk, but now he's a lender. for as anxious and honest as he is, his desire for approval and consistency has led to some bad behavior. he'll mislead customers about the lending process, get them started on different plans than they intended, etc, all for the sake of doing well at his job. it was his idea to be a predatory lender, but the boss doesn't care what he says or does as long as he keeps those numbers up.

lydia and sebastian's first meeting is under less than ideal circumstances. the trap is designed for only one of them to survive -- the details are fuzzy in my mind, but something is closing in, time is running out, some twisted test of their skills as thieves. sebastian ends up leaving the room when the time is up, leaving lydia trapped and screaming. this is really how she's going to die. so many attempts, so much pain and misery she had lived through, but she didn't want it to end like this.

though designed for only one person to survive, sebastian's pleas to the paramedics and police lead to lydia being found some hours later, still alive. they didn't get along very well in the few hours they knew each other, but he couldn't let another person, especially not one so much like himself, die in there.

striking up a friendship in these ... unusual circumstances is awkward but natural. college is giving lydia straight a's for the rest of the semester for what she's been through and sebastian has paid time off as they lay low from the media, quietly spending their time in physical therapy as well as a jigsaw survivor support group together. lydia cannot believe that someone could be so kind to her, could want her to keep living, and sebastian can't believe that she understands him, she is honest and sees through him and talks to Him, not what he presents to the outside world. lydia grows softer in his presence and sebastian grows stronger in hers. kisses ensue.

though they become the centers of each others worlds, recovering from This Mess is far from smooth sailing. codependency underlays their romance, entwines them like half-dead rats in a glue trap. the love is real, but above all else they stick with each other because there is nobody else. physical therapy is difficult. sebastian is blind and deaf in his left eye and ear, and lydia's right leg and pelvis were injured so badly that she's had hip surgery at age 25 and walks with a forearm crutch at all times. the emotional pain is the worst part. nightmares plague them both, paranoia seeps into every crevice of their minds, and as lydia gains a new appreciation for being alive a boiling sense of rage and injustice whirls inside of her.

she's never been very good at coping. sebastian is doing better, but only by an inch -- he relies a lot on lydia to keep him sane, checks in on her constantly and begins to live For her. some kind of fucked in the head househusband who's still the breadwinner as his parents pump cash into his account. the media appearances help, too. anyways, while sebastian dissolves into neuroticism, lydia spirals into deep hatred. she didn't deserve this. none of the other victims deserved this. most of all, her shining star, her perfect boyfriend sebastian didn't deserve it. and that jigsaw killer is still out there, he still hasn't learned his lesson ...

mandy passes her the note at a survivor support group. she starts telling seb that she's going to get another late shift job, she's a night owl after all. in the warehouse covered in grime and blood, all lydia can think about is the smell of metal and the lashing of chains and the sound of her lover screaming. as an art student, lydia is no stranger to building Contraptions. i'm serious my mom went to art school and they were fucking constantly building stuff. ok anyways she's first assigned to the blueprints, she puts together the small things and draws up her own traps, doing her best to design them non-lethally without arousing suspicion. inevitably, people end up dying in her designs. the first few times she is asked to design and then supervise a large trap, she pulls the strings to let the test subjects out as unharmed as possible. the other apprentices have a word with john and she's put back on design duty. she knows suspicion is on her, and she has to act like a good apprentice again to get closer to her goal: killing john kramer.

it's difficult to work out where all of the apprentices fit into this. i don't want amanda in much of it because they would be having evil lesbian sex all the time, but i do like the idea of her as an occasional presence in the background. i think it would serve better if she were out of the picture sometime before john is, but i think it's ok if mark is there. i like the dramatic imagery of him boarding a plane to south america by the very end, the music swells and we see him shift his eyes nervously as he knows he's totally fucked and needs to end this Now, needs to get out and completely start a new life.

the day sebastian finds out is the day lydia finally kills john. she's been increasingly ignoring his texts at "work," been crying a lot more, all the progress made with her nightmares and her rage has totally regressed. he follows her there, his heart pounding. a terrifying crawl through the maze of a warehouse and he sees her ... she's standing over an old, frail man, hands and arms soaked in blood up to the elbows -- god, he didn't know blood could be so dark. she's crying, twisting up her face when she sees him, always grateful for his presence but terrified now of her own violence. "i did it, i saved us, i saved everyone." tears stream down her face. sebastian flinches away, knocks into a hanging chain. he doesn't know who she is. he doesn't know how much planning this has taken, how much death this has taken, what any of this means for him and lydia. all he knows is that she's scared, he's scared, he's scared of her.

i don't know where i want to go after that. horrible awful relationship goals where he cleans her up and flees with her and promises he still loves her? a moment of panic and poor judgement where one or both of them ends up dead? who knwos ......

[walkawaytall]

For Talk Shop Tuesday, something I've been curious about! Since Collateral and Purpose of Heritage are both multichapters that cover the same time period, what would you say makes each of them different? Like, I know how they might hit on different themes (based on the summary of PoH and in having read Collateral), but as a writer, what was your process in planning PoH without feeling like you might be repeating yourself or trying to come up with different headcanons for what happened?

Oh my word, my answer is so long, I'm so sorry! (and thank you for asking!)

So, it's not been overly difficult on the whole primarily because Collateral has such a short timeline when compared to PoH. Ignoring any flashback scenes, the bulk of the story takes place over a week or two, I think? whereas Purpose of Heritage starts within hours of the medal ceremony on Yavin and ends three years later on Hoth, so there's a lot more ground to cover and relatively few areas of overlap.

But, they're also very different stories. The focus of Purpose of Heritage is Leia, not necessarily Leia and Han (though...you know, with him being a prominent figure in her life, he is obviously a huge part of the story). PoH is all Leia's POV rather than having alternating POVs like in Collateral, and it's a lot more...in her head (I'm probably a little too wordy at times tbh). I've characterized Leia somewhat differently as well. She is very specifically not suicidal at any point (she does fail her initial enlistment psych eval, but that is 1000% because she tells Rieekan she's good to do it right away to try to prove something to herself). She starts out feeling very out-of-place because of the circumstances surrounding her enlistment into the militia portion of the Alliance -- which is similar to how she still feels three years later in Collateral -- but in PoH, she eventually bonds with people other than just Han, Luke, and Chewie, and starts to try to let some of the others in emotionally, at least for a bit.

Her relationship with Han is characterized differently compared to Collateral. It's been awhile since I've revisited Collateral, but I recall them being friends, but not as close as they eventually get in PoH. And, I think in Collateral, I imply that their relationship takes the standard bickering-to-friends-to-lovers trajectory.

In PoH, their relationship is more...complicated? The first chapter involves Han finding out that Leia had been tortured in detail that essentially no one else in the Alliance aside from maybe High Command knows about, and because of his history with the Empire, she's able to sort of communicate this by talking around what happened rather than talking about it (FYI: I do not get graphic with this stuff), and that's sort of the framework around which their relationship is initially based -- this ability to use experiences the other has had that are just similar enough to what they've experienced that they can reference trauma without actually dealing with it. It works for them until it doesn't, at which point, Leia has to decide how open she wants to be with him. She actually at one point wants Han to leave like he threatens to do every five seconds because she's trying to will herself into having a "fresh start", and she feels like him just knowing about her experience on the Death Star is keeping her from being able to fully embrace an all-new life.

And on the note of Han threatening to leave, I purposefully did away with that for character development reasons after about six months in the story. Han, for reasons that become clear much later, stops saying he's going to leave, and while he doesn't promise to stay until way, way late in the story, it still removes some tension between them. They still argue -- and even argue about really dumb stuff sometimes -- but the backbiting and bickering wanes over time as their relationship deepens.

I do think -- for better or for worse-- PoH Han is a bit softer (and I think more nuanced?) than Han in Collateral. I hope not to the point of butchering his character -- and the areas where he's softer are there for a reason (I really try to think about motivations of everyone in a scene all the dang time). But that certainly alters the way he and Leia interact to a degree, which differentiates PoH from Collateral, I think.

In the areas where there are opportunities for a lot over overlap between stories -- especially plot points -- I usually just choose something for PoH that wasn't done in Collateral. Leia is in a different sort of mindset post-Yavin -- still a hot mess, but in a way that's different from Collateral. Ord Mantell plays out entirely differently (though, fun fact: the bounty hunter they run into in PoH was supposed to be a character in Collateral at one point, and then I rewrote a chapter and they got cut. But their presence as well as some other little details were pulled from an old draft of Collateral). Leia and Han are together longer in PoH (closer to a month rather than a week or two), and Han's reasons for wanting to leave...well, they aren't entirely different, but there's more to it than just a bounty hunter finding them. The reason things get so hostile between them right before The Empire Strikes Back is similar, but I've also been hinting at Han's insecurities literally since he and Leia started a romantic relationship in PoH, which are a big part of why things turn as nasty as they do.

I think all-in-all, if I felt like something was important for characterization, then I probably kept things pretty similar, but nearly anywhere where a plot point count be different, I made it different.

Except the fact that the Ord Mantell trip was for cold-resistant speeder parts. That's the same in both (I guess technically in Collateral they go to Nar Shadaa for those, but it's the same trip). (And in PoH, they never even get the parts, which, in my mind, is why the speeders won't work consistently at the beginning of ESB.)

(Also, Leia initiates their first kiss in both. But I would argue that's more a characterization choice rather than a plot similarity.)

I...really hope that answers the question, because, holy cow, this is such a long answer :D. (But also, I could talk about this forever, so thank you again for asking!)

Talk Shop Tuesday

[acourtofthought]

Do you have any concerns that, in the years that have passed, SJM has changed her mind with the ships? Like you said, Azriel is a pretty popular character and the possibility of him and Elain are constantly brought up. I know she must see some of that and I wonder if it’s effected her plans? I know she’s said the new characters introduced in ACOSF won’t change the outcomes she’s planned but this just makes me wonder if she’s planned Gwynriel for a while or if that actually disproves Gwynriel?

 

I think the ships SJM changed her mind on were Nesta and Lucien and Mor and Azriel.

But I think that when a ship falls apart, it's not quite so late in the game. When she initially wrote ACOTAR, she had thought Lucien and Nesta would end up together and I think I understand why when you consider Lucien's personality at the start of the series. He held a bit of disdain for humans (as Nesta also held disdain for humans), he was very flippant in the way he spoke to Feyre and he came off as slightly more aggressive than he is now.

But as the story progressed, you could see the events that happened that took his character in a different direction. The way he responded to the faerie that has his wings cut off, the backstory we heard from Tamlin regarding the loss of Jesminda and being chased out of Autumn, the way he was quick to apologize to Feyre for hesitating with the Suriel. The self sacrificing behavior UTM when he refused to give up Feyre's name and when he yelled out for her with the Wyrm. Now, all that snarkiness and disdain from before no longer seemed a defense mechanism born out of anger (the way Nesta's defense mechanism presented) but of sadness and loss. At this point, Lucien became a lot softer than we initially thought and Nesta kept right on developing with self hatred and rage at the world around her. And I think those differences in their personality are why SJM said they would end up worsening the hurt they were experiencing if they ended up together. Nesta would keep biting back and Lucien would become withdrawn and bitter toward her.

But Cassian was basically who Lucien would have been had Lucien's trauma not caused him to go the route of sadness but instead, anger. Had he become someone who preferred revenge over acceptance of the way things were. Cassian felt a challenge in Nesta rather than letting her dismissal of him and degrading comments become something that caused him to retreat further into himself. And once Lucien and Nesta fell apart midway through ACOTAR (at least that's what I think), SJM never looked back. Every since ACOMAF, she's been building toward the compatibility of Elucien and that doesn't seem to have changed.

As for Mor and Az, I definitely think she was considering them as endgame during ACOMAF. The scene with Hybern especially stands out as having romantic coding. In that entire book, Mor is a lot bolder, a lot stronger and a lot more confident as she didn't allow her father to get to her. She seemed to delight in looking down at him while feeling pride over Rhys being in charge over her family. And the main issue why she and Az weren't together then is that even if she offered herself up to him he wouldn't see himself as worthy.

But that seemed to change in ACOWAR because suddenly Mor preferred females, Az's actions began to scare her, and she seemed cowed by her father.

I'm not sure if that was a result of SJM's decision to include more diversity with an LGBQT character or something else but that seemed more intentional than a ship that fell apart because the characters spoke to her.

But again, since that decision was made, SJM has made every effort to include examples of why Mor and Az wouldn't be right for one another and that Mor might not belong in the NC quite as well as she once did.

I'm not sure when she decided that Gwyn would be a possible love interest for Az but they seem more well thought out than Nesta and Lucien ever did. Could she change her mind on Gwynriel? Sure. But I don't think she'll change her mind of Gwynriel in favor of E/riel and this is why:

Mor and Az shared some language hinting at their compatibility or endgame potential (staring at her with longing and hunger, giving them a more like minded view about revenge) which means in ACOMAF she was only including things that would have hinted at a possible endgame.

Nesta and Lucien didn't share mate coded language but in ACOTAR, there was language that suggested their personalities could have been a match (at least until halfway).

But Elain and Azriel have never shared language hinting at their combability. E/riels will argue against that but it's true. Even Feyre mentioning that Elain would turn to Az for "peace and quiet" fails to account for why she needed peace and quiet and why Az is the person giving it to her. Elain needed it while she was depressed and Az is quiet because he literally doesn't communicate openly with people which isn't a good thing. That's not Mate like coding, that's something providing a temporary reprieve while things never getting too deep.

Instead, SJM has constantly been placing hints as to how incompatible Elain and Azriel would be. That the Az, as he presents himself to Elain, is not actually the real Az at all but the version of himself he thinks he needs to be around her. And how the real version of Az is things that Elain is bothered by.

I think ships can fall apart after she tried to make them work, included language as to why they might end up together, but then has the character end up in a new direction. But I don't know that a ship can happen after she's made repeated efforts to hint at why they wouldn't work. And I'm not talking about "Elain won't even talk to Lucien so how can you say they'd work?!" I'm talking about blatant personality differences and reasons why the could would not be well matched in a relationship, things that would eventually cause problems between two characters. Why would SJM continually say, "Elain is bothered by cruelty" only to have her end up with the character who is possibly the most violent of the IC?

So could SJM have Elucien fall apart? Sure. Though this late in the game I find it unrealistic because of everything she's written to put them on the same paths.

Could SJM have Gwynriel not end up together? Again, sure. But as these were meant to be standalones and she needed to have some idea who the pairings were going to be about (versus Feysands trilogy where she didn't necessary HAVE to commit to any other romantic pairings), it would surprise me if she changed Azriel's love interest yet again. Seriously, this guy doesn't need to be interested in any other females. I think he'd literally become a joke at that point.

But do I see her making E/riel a possibility at this point? That seems less likely to me because she's spent multiple books building to them sharing a rebound while simultaneously telling us they are not right for one another. E/riels can point out all the cute moments for E/riel that they want but it doesn't change the fact that in between it all:

Elain is bothered by cruelty and Az is violent.

Elain does not seek revenge and Az does.

Elain values tradition and Az only respects tradition because it means something to others.

Az has never thought of a future for he and Elain.

Az still looks at Mor with hunger and longing, even in SF (just not as often).

Az doesn't support Elain doing anything dangerous.

Az refuses to talk to Rhys about whether he's over Mor.

Elain has still not addressed her mating bond with Lucien.

Az got Elain jewelry for Solstice yet for the second year in a row she got him a gag gift.

After a year of freely being able to get to know one another, they barely talk and Az says Elain still doesn't know who he is.

His shadows disappear around Elain.

Elain craves sunshine and Az likes the shadows.

He thinks she's too pure for his darkness

These aren't insignificant things and I'm not sure how, based on the kind of author SJM is and what she likes for her pairings, she'd be able to undo all that she's already said and have E/riel end up together in a way that's realistic. She put a lot of careful thought into why they wouldn't work out and I don't think that's the same thing as what people refer to when they talk about her changing ships.

[eightfifteen]

MadWheeler ficlet! - hearing without listening

Mike perks up as the faint ringing of the phone carries up the stairs. Despite the fact that it only rarely rings for him, Mike keeps his ears strained as he waits for the sound to cut off, indicating his mom picking up the phone.  

He knows they don’t have anything planned. Knows Will would have just talked to him when they were at school barely a half hour before. Still, two years of obsessing over the phone ringing is hard to simply unlearn. 

He’d known then too, that Will was never on the other line. They’d called maybe eight times during all of that first year in Lenora, and most of those calls had been initiated by Mike. Will never called him - he tried not to read into it.

The second year had been better, when they’d always scheduled their calls. Even then, Mike had often been the first to jump up when the phone rang, even when he knew Will wouldn’t be on the other end. 

Hope is a treacherous, addictive thing. 

“Mike! Phone!”

She barely has to finish before Mike is already throwing open his bedroom door, dashing down the steps and flying through the bent of the stairs as he slides into the kitchen. His mom’s eyes watch him with a hint of amusement, but there’s an edge of sympathy when she holds out the phone and says. “It’s Max.”

Mike tries to hide his disappointment, which isn’t too hard as he’s immediately flooded with concern. A glance at the clock show it’s still late afternoon - Will must have dropped her off at home less than 20 minutes ago. He accepts the phone, watching as his mom steps away and disappears into the dining room. Once she’s gone he puts the phone to his ear. “Max? Everything okay?”

“I’m fine.” Comes Max’ immediate response, but by the tense snap of her voice he can tell she’s anything but. Never mind the fact she wouldn’t have called him if she were okay. Even now he wonders why she hadn’t just asked El to stay over, even if just to wait until Lucas gets off practice. Mike catches her taking a deep and shuddering breath, before her voice fills the speaker once more, softer this time. “I’m sorry - I just…”

She trails off, but Mike doesn’t break the silence, allowing it the linger like an invitation. Eventually, she speaks up again, attempting at casual and careless, but Mike doesn’t miss her undertone. “Gotten any better at guitar?”

Mike’s eyebrows hit his hairline in surprise. “Uh- Not really. Haven’t really practiced in a while.”

“You should.”

“I know,” Mike glances around his empty kitchen. He imagines the cabinets fading away into white-grey walls and the floor melt into dirty linoleum, imagines the kitchen island as the oversized hospital bed. “But there’s no one to insult me whenever I miss a single note.”

“How else will you learn?” Max’ voice already sounds a lot more at ease, a smile itching its way across the phone line. Mike knows what she’s asking, and though it’s a surprise, it’s not something he minds. He’d been itching for something to do, anyway, bored out of his mind cooped up in his bedroom. He doesn’t fault his friends for getting other hobbies - not anymore - but he misses middle school, misses a time where they didn’t just go their separate ways at the end of the school day. Who cares about ‘extracurriculars’ and ‘maintaining GPAs’? 

“So can I come over? To practice?”

“If you must.” Max responds as if it’s not what she’d been asking this entire conversation. 

“I’ll be there in twenty.”

There’s a shuddering inhale as Max gives him the okay, a sense of dread that has Mike move twice as fast as he runs upstairs to grab his guitar and pops back into the kitchen to grab some leftovers. Never say his mom didn’t raise him right. 

No matter how hard he tries, there’s nothing he can do to change the length of the fifteen minute drive. Hawkins has too many stop signs and cross sections to just speed through, and at this hour even the long stretch of Cornwallis is filled with moms driving their kids to their after school activities and people getting off early from their nine-to-fives. 

It’s not like he doesn’t know Max is perfectly capable of being on her own for twenty minutes. She spends most afternoons at her house waiting for her mom to get off at six. She even spends nights alone sometimes when her mom has a late shift for her second job. Mike knows she’s independent. 

But he also knows that she wouldn’t have asked for his company if it isn’t a bad day. Despite their begrudging friendship, he’s still firmly the last on her speed-dial list. Well, maybe right above Dustin, but that’s because he knows Dustin can be downright unhelpful in emergencies. Steve is right when he complains about him having an attitude.

Even Will, who she’s never really been close with before, has the benefit of a,  living close by, b, being El’s brother - oh and c, not being Mike. 

There’s one thing Mike knows only he can provide though. 

She’s sitting on the steps leading up to her trailer as he parks his car. Her hair is down around her face, headphones thrown around her neck but not covering her ears, and she’s toying with her folded-up cane in her lap. The trailer park is quiet today, he notes as he grabs his guitar and slams the door after him, the sound echoing through the silence.

He takes a seat next to her as she turns off her Walkman, pulling his guitar into his lap. As he drums his fingers on the wood, his eyes scan Max quickly, making sure not to let her feel his gaze. She seems fine enough, like she’d looked all throughout the day, but with her sunglasses no longer perched on her face, he can tell she hasn’t been sleeping well. Worse, her eyes are slightly red in a way that definitely means she’d been crying not long ago.

But he can tell her shoulders are easing with every tap of his fingers on wood, and though he cringes when he strums his guitar, it makes a smile tug at Max’ lips. 

“Great start, Elvis.”

“Thanks.” Mike deadpans. “I told you it’s been a while.”

Of course he left his tuner at home. Maybe if he actually knew how to play he could tune it by sound alone, as it is, he tries his best to twist the knobs until it sounds somewhat the way it’s supposed to. He’s by no means a musician - he can barely read sheet music, everything he’d learned about playing guitar coming from a 30 minute crash course from Eddie in Freshman year and a library book that’s most definitely written for elementary schoolers. 

Still, Mike enjoys the routine - the mindless fidgeting with the strings and the repetitiveness of it. His thoughts cutting off as he simply tries to fix his stupid guitar. 

“Jesus, Wheeler,” Max cringes after yet another awful attempt and fixing his D string. “Of course you’d manage to find a torture worse than Vecna’s.”

“Hey! I’m a delight to be around!” Mike whines. 

“Keep telling yourself that.” 

He lets the teasing linger in the air for a moment, before putting his guitar to the side and shifting to face her better. “Are you okay?”

Mike immediately regrets allowing his voice to be that soft as he watches her tense, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she leans further over her knees. “I told you - I’m fine.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Mayfield.” Her head snaps over to him, face hardening, but her posture immediately relaxes at his tone. “We haven’t done this since you were in the hospital.”

After another beat, he sighs. “It’s just me, right? Who cares what I think of you.”

Max scoffs and tilts her head back, but there’s humour to it, overshadowing some of the nerves and hesitation. “Fine. You caught me - I’m fucked up. Now what are you going to do about it?”

Mike shrugs, even though it’s obviously a useless gesture. “I can listen.”

“Look, it’s nothing new, okay?” There’s an edge of frustration to her tone, letting him know talking is the last thing she wants to do right now. “Just same old shit.”

“So just the silence?” Mike curses himself and curses his stupid guitar for being out of tune. 

It had been easy enough to figure out the silence bugged her. That’s why he’d started bringing his guitar to the hospital - well that, and having just lost Eddie - allowing it to fill gaps of conversation that would otherwise have her twitching nervously in bed, asking questions to get an answer, losing part of herself just to find confirmation that someone was still in the room with her. He’s not sure the others know - Dustin was never known to allow silence to linger anyway, and El and Lucas probably had enough to talk to her about. 

Mike knew talking got tired quickly. Sound is nice when it reminds you there’s people there, but he can’t imagine wanting someone jabbing in your ear the entire time either. It’s like how he can spend hours talking to Will, and never get tired of it, but only because there’s plenty of pauses in the conversation, plenty of moments to let the comfortable silence wash over you like a balm. Like how Will doesn’t even have to say anything at all to put him at ease - just his presence in the room enough to make him feel okay. 

Jarring himself out of his thoughts, he mentally curses himself for staying quiet too long, worried he’d upset Max, but when he glances over he finds a smile tugging at her lips. He frowns at her in confusion, until he recognizes he’d been bouncing his leg nervously, the movement making his keys jangle in his pocket. 

Huh. 

He snorts, trying to cover his smile, causing her to glare at him. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“I’ll kill you.”

“I know.” Mike grins, pulling his guitar closer to him so he can mindlessly drum his fingers on the wood again. She doesn’t need to know he caught on. And even though it’s hardly confirmation that she likes his personality, it’s nice enough to know she likes having him around - even if just for the twitchiness that has his classmates glaring at him during tests. 

He remembers the leftovers he’d left in the car, but figures they can get to them later. For now, they’ll continue sitting in almost silence.