#this entire video is living in my mind rent free now

[softbeanofexistentialcrisis]

things from the new asides ep that i dont see more of us talking about and im Insane over:

- Logan being the one to initiate this year's secret santa. why. /pos

- the implication that Remus and Janus have never been invited to one of these before

- "he's just chilling" "im chilling" "should we turn the heat up?!"

- "OH 𝓭𝓪𝓭𝓭𝔂" *chorus of acute disgust*

- Janus being brutally honest about the airfryer

- okay but mr fuzzy is incredibly cute. tell me im wrong.

- Logan: "is that all i am to you? the reading guy?" oh boy surely this isn't a statement for how he views himself now is it

- okay i know people DO talk about this but Remus's "does it make you want to scream" lives rent free in my head

- "this whole activity is to serve a higher purpose anyway" chat what does he mean i actually cannot tell what does this mean

- logan giving roman 20 dollars is so painfully logan i fully had to pause the video to stare at the wall for a minute over it. literally everyone behind tss are so fucking smart.

- LMAO VIRGIL GETTING ANGRY AT JANUS PISSING AT ROMAN prinxiety nation i know you're here in this room today

- also unrelated but all of patton's tiny gift wrappings are so pretty. where do you shop thomas

- he really replaced his entire gift. to give janus what he deserved. fucking hell roman stop being so valiant for one fucking minute /pos

- YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO ADD THE BEGRUDGINGLY BOY DAMN

- this is probably just me but come on can we stop giving patton just simple cards. like ik he likes them and he probably doesn't mind but come on its too easy.

- LOGAN MY BABY BOY. MY BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL CHILD MY ABSOLUTE FIRST BORN he's so happy im honna gry

- "good luck detective, you're gonna need it 😈" "oh virgil 😦" they're so dramatic why are they like this

- Janus being responsible for Thomas' poker face and he's not doing a great job at it

- LOGAN BEING THE ONE TO SAY "dont overthink it" LIKE THE. LIKE THE IMPLICATIONS. IM SO NORMALM

- NICO TIME god everyone's so pretty

- hmm i. i wonder what the message is. i wonder what the message is that we're supposed to getting from here. hnm.

[rayshippouuchiha]

Tasea!

Okay so I just stumbled upon your Tasea au and it's living rent free in my mind.

Skull and Tsuna just living their best life while Hibari and Reborn are chewing glass is my favorite thing ever

Consider this:

Both Skull and Tsuna become ridiculous strong throughout this trip.

They don't even notice it.

It starts with casual convos about how they use flames, then experiments, light spars etc.

Turns out not being in mortal peril 24/7 does wonders for some people.

So from time to time, videos of them come to light, Tsunas twink ass obliterating someone in an arm wrestling match. Skull killing it in some weightlifting challenge or doing some insane acrobatics.

Videos of them sparring without flames in open parks or maybe being stumbled upon in abandoned warehouses.

Everyone who isn't Reborn or Hibari can actually see how good this is for them.

Gokudera keeps a collection of "Decimo being Amazing" pictures and videos he finds. That's his best friend after all!

Maybe Reborn would feel slightly jealous that even his teacher position was usurped, but he's kinda busy picking which leash he's going to put on Skull the moment he catches him.

Hibari is listening to Olivia Rodriguez during his speedrun of becoming the world most feared Hitman (only possible because Reborn is busy picking which tracker to put under Skulls skin once he finds him) in search of Tsuna

Sometimes, he picks a random grunt to ask for relationship advice.

I also like to think that as time goes on, a whole countersquad starts to form.

Like they notice that maybe they have some things to talk out, and that's why they keep searching, but they aren't per se helping Hibari or Reborn either.

But yeah anyway I love this au

I need a 100 chapter fic injected i to my veins pronto, but als I don't have that kind of talent... R.I.P

See, the thing is, it's not that Tsuna and Skull become ridiculously strong during their little vacation.

They're both already monstrously strong in their own right.

It's just that, for the first time since they were each dragged into this lifestyle kicking and screaming, they're spending time with someone who A.) learns in a similar fashion and B.) also understands what it's like to be given no choice about this entire thing.

So, for the first time, they're both ,,, comfortable.

Tsuna can ask questions without having to worry about dodging bullets or having to scream to be heard. Skull can impart his hard and bloodily won knowledge on someone without having to hear any "well actually" type bullshit because the way he uses his Flames is technically "wrong".

So of course that means they both start rapidly progressing.

Skull is able to describe things to Tsuna in terms that he understands and can actually visualize. Tsuna is so genuinely open to whatever it is that Skull's doing that Skull no longer feels the need to really hide.

Tsuna gets his hand-to-hand and acrobatic skills refined. Skull starts really opening up about what he's capable of.

They both refine how they look at and utilize their Flames.

They both stop caring about what everyone else is going to say/do.

On the opposite side of the situation, Reborn is ready to chew glass, Hibari is actively forcing other people to chew glass, and if Kusababe has to deal with Kyo-san turning to him one more time asking about why "the little animal fled" he's going to look into taking a vacation of his own.

The others, having now seen countless videos and photos of Skull and Tsuna taking the world by storm together, are starting to reevaluate what they think/know of the situation.

[sweet-evie]

IMAGINE Satoru and Suguru as fucking YouTubers, circa 2014-2018.

Ohmygod they would be SO entertaining, I swear. This AU lives in my head rent-free at the moment, so let me word-vomit about it.

It all started with Satoru... Things like this, of course it starts with Satoru.

Satoru gives me storytime YouTuber vibes. His channel started out that way. It's just him talking about how crazy his life is. But after he amassed a following, around 100K, he eventually became a variety sort of YouTuber.

Satoru does a LOT. His channel is INSANE. From food challenges, to trying weird food on camera, to going to haunted locations, to putting weird stuff in the microwave to see what will happen (his house is permanently in danger), to failed cooking videos, right down to trying random products he finds in online stores.

Trust me, it doesn't take him long to get to 10 Million subscribers. Probably 10 months or less. That face card ain't declining and he's always going to pull people left and right.

In the beginning, a lot of Satoru's traffic came from Instagram. It's just him looking so aesthetically pleasing, he's irresistible. His Twitter is a mess. Twitter is where he shitposts, and people know better than to take him seriously on Twitter. His Snapchat... Good lord, help the poor soul who's following him on there. It's random shenanigans that would have you questioning if Gojo is okay.

For the first two years of his YouTube career, Satoru has been doing this YouTuber thing solo.

And then his best friend, Suguru Geto, made his debut on his channel and it's OVER.

His fans fell in love with Suguru. Of course, they would. Tell me you wouldn't love him? (in an AU where Suguru is innocent and has never attempted to commit crimes against humanity).

Also, Suguru is deadass charming when he wants to be.

Satoru and Suguru = iconic comedic duo.

Satoru's views and engagement skyrocketed from the moment Suguru was introduced to his YT audience.

At first, Suguru kept all his social media accounts private, and Satoru was always careful and mindful about what appeared on camera.

Eventually, Satoru influenced Suguru to start his own YT channel.

Suguru Geto strikes me as the type who would have a niche YT channel. Like, he targets a specific audience. The opposite of Gojo's chaotic variety channel.

I kind of find it hard to pin down what sort of content Suguru would upload, but I'm leaning toward day-in-the-life vlogs, fitness, travel vlogs, and commentaries.

If you want serious, educational, aesthetic, and calm content, head over to Suguru's channel.

If you want unhinged shenanigans and pure chaos, Satoru Gojo is your guy.

Satoru promoting Suguru's channel after a failed cooking video be, like:

=OoOoO= =OoOoO= =OoOoO= =OoOoO=

"Well, it's whatever!" Satoru laughed, side-eyeing the messy slop on the countertop that he'd had the audacity to call a donut cake before the entire video devolved into him and Suguru flinging globs of cream cheese and chocolate frosting at each other across the kitchen.

"Who is going to finish all this?" Suguru lamented, eyes narrowing at the pile of food on Satoru's marble counters.

"What are you talking about? We're eating that!"

"Oh fuck no!"

"Yes!"

"No, Satoru."

"Yeeeesss!" Satoru cackled and flung an arm around Suguru's shoulders, bringing his friend into the frame for the special announcement he'd teased at the beginning of this video. "Now come here, it's time to tell them our surprise."

"Our surprise?"

Satoru laughed. "Well, your surprise, but you did this thanks to me~ You're welcome, by the way."

Releasing a deep sigh at the sound of Satoru crooning into his ear, Suguru shook his head. Satoru was more excited about the announcement than Suguru himself would ever be.

"Are you telling them?" Satoru asked, blinking at Suguru over the rims of his dark Versace sunglasses.

"Nah, you do it."

"Everyone, Suguru finally has a YouTube channel!" Satoru announced gleefully, the widest grin splitting his face as he wrestled Suguru into a headlock. A headlock that the latter had no problem prying himself away from. "After a whole year trying to convince his stubborn ass! And the first video is already up right?"

"Two videos, but yeah, they should go check it out if they want." Suguru nodded, flashing an easy smile at the camera, and towards millions of Satoru's lovestruck fans.

"Two! He's fast! Go check it out, guys. Suguru's channel is in the description below. It's the first one there. If you guys need something to help you relax or--"

"--To cleanse your palette after this madness."

"Hey! Rude! They love my cake videos!"

"That's not cake, Satoru."

Neither of them acknowledged the sloppy pile of donuts coated in multi-colored frosting, teetering on the brink of collapse in the background.

"But yeah! Suguru's channel is up right now. First two videos, go check it out! Subscribe, show him some love, give it a like. We had fun hangin' with you, we hope you had fun hangin' with us. And I'll see you guys tomorrow!"

=OoOoO= =OoOoO= =OoOoO= =OoOoO=

UGH! THEY'RE SO CUTE!

[mays-corner]

(This post is a bit random so if you get it you get it if you don't get it it's fine)

It's 2024. I should be going to the disco, which I dislike.

Instead, I decided to hyperfixate on a Welshman.

One thing that baffles me to this day, and trust me it has happened more than once, is has anyone ever tried to protest at least a bit to still have Matt as John? Did no one try hard enough? Or have the attempts failed?

I mean-

I'm a newer fan (even with content crumbs I am a fan) still, so I can't be sure, but I'm amazed that in all these years that have passed, no one ever did anything, and now he can't even play Constantine (I think).

And now, the only role I've seen is him dubbing John 💀

Ignoring this discourse about John, I've decided to search for other roles, movies, and series, and what I've found was interesting, to say the least.

I am becoming passionate about him for various reasons. Other than wanting to revive pre-pandemic activities, I have noticed a pattern: I enjoy searching for things that I only watch. These are some thoughts I had about some things I could not find in Italy:

Hard to find (for example, I'm still searching for "The Halcyon," and the funniest thing about this is that in Italy, it was shown on TV (on an RAI channel, RAI is an Italian broadcaster) during 2017 and it's not available on their platform.

Region-locked content (the DCAU being region-locked is such a crime; we only have House of Mystery, and that's it) or even trying to watch a simple cameo when the entire series is region-locked (the Harley Quinn one). However (and this is good news), while searching for Away (one of his movies to watch), I found Tubi and used a free VPN. It was slow, but it worked, and I watched it.

Expensive (I paid Assassin's Creed Black Flag in installments, so that wasn't expensive, but still...)

It was a play, so they haven't recorded it, but to see and better understand the role he played (in this case, read), I read Thérèse Raquin by Émile Zola, and it was still effective.

Not even available on Chili (an Italian streaming platform on which you can rent or buy movies), the title only appears but is not available for streaming (lol).

Using Vinted or secondhand shops in general (it’s not the best time for me to go fully secondhand, but I suppose I could find some things there).

At the moment, I've watched just what I could easily find without resorting to piracy (which is ironic, since in Assassin's Creed Black Flag, Matt voices Edward Kenway, a pirate.).

In this list of things I could easily find, we have:

Constantine (thanks to another fan)

Criminal Minds/Criminal Minds Suspect Behavior (I had Disney Plus for a month, so I've watched it from there)

Flypaper, Adverse (Prime Video)

Arrow (Prime video)

Legends of Tomorrow (Netflix and Mediaset infinity)

House Of Mystery (Amazon prime, you have to rent it but still)

While writing this I found that "Layer cake" is on Sky, which I have and Now TV too.

Pocket Money (While watching it I just understood two words out of an entire short and I'm a c2 in English 💀)

Away, Wild Decembers, Armistice, Blood Monkey

So, you might have been asking yourself... Have I gone mad? To search and find for stuff not even available in my own country? In my own continent, too?

But I thought this is what comes with being a fan of someone, even if the career is what it is.

Considering me being unlucky, I was never able to see Matt when he acted and then had premieres at the same time.

Asssassin’s Creed Black Flag? I was 10, a child, lol.

Legends Of Tomorrow? I liked anime, manga and everything japanese.

And the list goes on...

It's nice to see what was like and what I couldn't live, gosh, I'm praying hard that we get to see him act again, I want and I wish to be present, live or not.

I wanted to make a really nice speech but nothing comes to mind, when I get it maybe I'll post it 💀

[forestelfo]

My farewell to the one who quite literally makes me wanna be a better person,

Farah Dowling

"Someone to stay" by Vancouver Sleep Clinic

to speak the truth, I disliked many things this season, thought they could’ve been done better. but Farah, is not one of these things. she was back, everything we said was true, from her eyes shining hinting that she used magic, through her knowing what Rosalind is about to do and all the way to the tree theory. I know some will say it was fan service, I honestly don’t believe that. I genuinely think they were meant to bring her back this entire time, Eve got busy with HotD and chose to give up Fate. so they went “ok, but can we have you for one last goodbye?” and Eve being the amazing person I believe her to be, who was probably told how much fans were affected by her character, agreed, even though it was from far away. and taking all of that into consideration, filming the scenes apart and using tons of editing, they really worked hard to give us the closure that was needed. of course, it was heartbreaking, bawled my eyes out for the next 20 mins before moving to the next episode, I wish she came back for good. but life is dynamic and my girl is kicking ass riding dragons in an HBO hit show right now. I’m proud of her. 

to be clear, this is a goodbye for canon Farah. but my Farah, is alive and well. and this is not just for my Farah and Silrah people, this is for everyone who for any reason is disappointed: canon is NOT the end of the world, don’t like it? that’s okay. wish it to be better? AMAZING. this is exactly what fandoms are for, this is what fans and art and fanfics are for. write, draw, roleplay, discuss, edit, CREATE your OWN canon. the possibilities are ENDLESS, we have imagination for a reason. the characters, whoever they may be, are with you, in your heart, and you have your own personal take on them with your own pov and ideas and NO ONE can ever take that from you. MAKE. YOUR. OWN. STORIES. don’t feel like you have any artistic skills? dream and fantasize, let your head run wild! my Farah, my Saul are living in my mind rent free, living the lives I want them to have. and you can do the exact same. once you have this mindset, you can be unstoppable. want Andreas and Bea to have their own little happy family with Sky and Saul? open a word doc and write it. wanna make Rivusa live a cottage life in the mountains? pick up a pen and sketch. wished for Ben and Luna to be frenemies? edit a video. you are capable of turning things your way, only because the writers chose a specific path doesn’t mean you have to choose it too. 

make it YOURS.

[dextixer]

The RWBY FNDM is not positive, it is anti-negative

Reading through various comments under my past threads, asks on tumblr, private messages etc. I have often seen parts of the RWBY FNDM complain about criticism. I think we all have. It is after all, a pretty common past-time. Quite recently i even made a meme on the phenomena of the RWBY FNDM never forgetting ANYONE who has ever criticized RWBY, Hbomber guy made a single video and lives rent free in so many heads for now at least 2 years that he could start collecting rent. While the Moistcritical(Charlie) situation is more recent, some people have not moved away from it either.

And it lead me to think.

You see, fans of the show often tell critics to just not watch the show, make spaces hostile to critics or outright ban them. They cause critics to start gathering more numerously in their own spaces on the internet, spaces in which people that do not want to see criticism, would not.

And yet...

And yet these same fans still do not find that enough. Because despite critics having their own spaces, despite there being tools in various websites to mute or not get recommended content one does not wish to see, they still seek out criticism, to complain about it.

On places like Reddit or Tumblr, a block on something you dont like is one click away. Its that easy. And yet... They do not use this option. Instead deciding to attack critics or criticism. Which while annoying would be at least somewhat more consistent with their ideology if they did not say that critics should not watch shows "They dont like".

What is funny is that many of these people often have their own FNDM projects. Books, videos etc. And yet... They dont work on those projects. Instead choosing to attack critics. As far as i am aware, most of the creators in the FNDM are either associated with critics or people critical of the show, or people who simply do not care about the FNDM at all besides just posting their things.

Just think about it. Keiths and the EverAfter artists works were attacked from the very start. Not because they were bad works, but because Keith worked with people like SYTOkun. Instead of celebrating fandom creativity, some RWBY FNDM parts instead wanted to destroy the entire group because *gasp* there were people critical of the show in it.

FixingRWBY is another great example. I think that the project has its problems. But oh man do people attack it out of hand just because it *DARES* to be a RWBY rewrite.

So, this thread is simply just a short reminder to everyone that the RWBY FNDM. It isnt focused on positivity. If anyone tells you that, you can be assured they are lying. Because to avoid "critics" is an easy choice to make, and yet... These people dont take it. They say that they dont mind criticism, they just dont want to see it. But in reality... They dont want it to exist.

[mangoposts]

now tell me why tf i dreamt about matt going on ig saying that he was over his ytb career (that’s why he was acting so tough lately) so he decided to pursue another career with a more “traditional” job but he might still appear in some videos with his brothers??

The triplets live in my mind rent free this is bad

— the girl who also dreamed about getting pregnant with chris

I’d be sad if they stopped posting youtube videos but i’d support them nonetheless on their own personal journeys

The dolan twins made me who I am and shifted my entire universe the moment i realized they weren’t returning if the triplets do this i think i’d crumble into nothingness

But like i still hope your dream never comes true 🩷

[bipolar-boygirl]

Not to be a Salty American (though as the great Hannah Gatsby once said, making fun of Americans is still technically punching up,but that window is closing), but I've been thinking a lot about a specific video from a Nigerian creator I follow whose platform is about showing that africa as a whole isn't poor and a lot of the things the west sees as signifiers of poverty are culturally preferred methods and items. Her videos are very lighthearted and funny normally, but I saw one recently about how Africans (her words) don't pay for things with credit, and that we (Americans and I'm assuming the west in general) can't live without credit, our whole system is based on credit. And she's right, but it was treated as some sort of Gotcha moment, and not the horrifying mechanic of capitalism that it is

I was lying in bed this morning after having a nightmare that I lost a part of my arm and couldn't afford the surgery, the whole dream was me trying to find ways to make the surgery cheaper, to find loopholes in my insurance, stressing about missing work, and it ended with me sobbing because I finally had enough money for the surgery but it would wipe out every cent I had, and I would be left with nothing while recovering and unable to work. This was something my subconscious mind conjured because I'm dealing with a much less life threatening equivalent of needing to get my wisdom teeth removed and not being able to afford it (though the longer I go without it the more likely I am to get an infection and if that gets into my blood or my brain I'm fucked, I'm catastrophizing here, but it's a very real fear I'm dealing with).

My options for getting my wisdom teeth removed are: to continue to try to save up the money regularly, which is a very slow going process and at my current rate of saving I could break even on the surgery in about 4 months, but much like my dream it would take every dollar I have, so that's not actually true, is it? It would take me much longer to save up enough to not go broke, so realistically at my current rate I'm still probably over a year away.

Or: sign up for something like care credit, which is basically a loan specifically for medical costs. It's even interest free! Unless of course you're unable to pay back the full loan in the agreed upon time frame and then you owe a predatory interest rate on the entire amount they loaned you, regardless of how much you have left to pay off. If I had a better credit score, I might be able to put it at least partially on a credit card which would have an interest rate from the start but a lower one. But I don't have a credit card because I was forced into a position where I HAD to get a car with a car note and due to my non-existent credit score at the time I had to settle with a 20-something % interest rate and now have a $450 car note a month for like 6 years. Most starter credit cards require a cash deposit and between all my bills (aside from rent, my car note is the most expensive which is why I brought it up) and trying to save up the old fashioned way I just really don't have the money to spare to get a credit card. I could probably get one without a cash deposit, but then we run into the issue of the predatory interest rates again

Or: I could set up a gofundme, which is a whole other can of worms and with everything else happening in the world, with all of the fleeing families, and the abuse victims, and people with actual life threatening medical needs on there, my silly little wisdom teeth don't seem all that important.

So yeah, Americans can't live without credit, but it's not something we chose. It's just another tool capitalism uses to drain every last penny they can from people after inventing credit scores (didn't exist til the 80's) and making everything so fucking expensive you can't even afford it with insurance (yeah that amount I'm saving towards? That's my cost WITH insurance), so you have no choice BUT to pay for things on credit

I know it's fun to make fun of Americans guys, I used to do it all the time myself. But, just, we aren't doing so hot.

[plasma-veracity]

[ Video starts with Veracity immediately on frame, information embedded on the video itself showing that this was the latest of over 50 entries.

There's some shuffling of documents behind the camera and Veracity immediately scowls. The place of the session seems to be different as well, instead of the inside of the dome they seem to be in an outdoor area, although it is still surrounded by a wall with gaps too narrow for Veracity to be able to escape through.

"Very well, Veracity. I hope that you have been feeling better since last time."

Veracity rolls his eyes, petting the nearby tauros instead of responding.

"I've heard that you have been helping around with some chores and activities, and I see that you also have a new friend now."

The other person says, making Veracity scoff.

"More like he snuck into my place without permission and is now living on it rent free." he says, although he doesn't say it with the usual venom in his voice.

"I see. Apologies for the inconvenience, we still haven't found the reason as to why they ended up here."

"Of course not, like you didn't find the reason as to why I get teleported to the middle of nowhere."

"Yes. I can see how that can become annoying." the sound of writting can be picked up from behind the camera. "But we should leave that to the investigators. Now, is there something that you want to share with me?"

"Well gee, I don't know. Is there, Doctor Chamomile?"

Mindhealer Chamomile sighs, but recovers quickly seeminly already used to Veracity's foul mood. "You are very difficult to deal with, you know? Then again, I could simply skim through that little blog of yours and pull my own conclusions from there."

Veracity glares at him and sits straighter, crossing his arms.

"Very well, do it then." he challenges.

Chamomile writes something and hums in thought.

"You have posted a couple of times about Halloween, lately." says Chamomile, making Vera quirk up an eyebrow. "It seems like you dislike it a lot. Anytime anyone asked you about it you would say something among the line of 'it is stupid' or 'it is a lame holiday' and something similar, except for one instance."

Chamomile stayed silent, prompting Veracity to speak up this time.

"And?"

"You said— and probably don't remember it —'I want a normal chocolate cake with a normal candle to make a stupid wish on', fun choice of words too." Says Chamomile.

Veracity stays silent for a while, furrowing his eyebrows and avoiding eye contact. Eventually he sighs.

"... I'm not. Entirely sure if it's true or not...." he says, frustration clear in his voice.

"Mhm, I expected as much," notes Chamomile. "Can you tell what triggered that response? A word you read? The tone in which you perceived it?"

Veracity at first ignores the question, but his expression changes from annoyance to concentration as he seems to ponder on it.

"... Not sure. Maybe... No. It's stupid."

"I'd still like to hear it," Mindhealer Chamomile says, trying to be encouraging. "If you want to share, that is."

Veracity sighs, shifting on his seat.

"... Maybe... when someone mentioned ghosts." he says.

Mindhealer Chamomile can be heard writting something down. "What is it about ghosts that troubles you?"

Vera blows a raspberry, sinking back into his heat and looking somewhere to the side, mostly avoiding eye contact.

"I dunno. They're creepy, they stalk. You can't shoot them or throw a punch at them. Several can just fucking hijack your body and/or mind. The pokemon devil is a ghost type. People letting the little basttards misbehave because it's funny or they're pranksters or they're harmless and similar dumb shit. Maybe none of these. Maybe all of them."

He ends that little rant and sighs, massaging his temple. "I just don't like them."

Chamomile makes a humming sound. "Have you been having headaches?"

Veracity groans "Yeah, sort of."

"Has your medicine ran out?"

"Normal medicine won't help." he says "This is... something else."

"Something else?" Chamomile asks, now sounding intrigued. "Can you elaborate on it?"

Vera shakes his head. "I can't remember. It's like... Something was taken out, and was hastily replaced with something else. Something less elaborate. Something important? I can't recall, I mean— I'm not supossed to recall what it was. But I am meant to know that something was tampered with but I cannot for the life of me remember why. Everyone in this dimension would just get a vague feeling of something being off but I don't—"

"Sorry sorry." Chamomile interrupts him mid sentence. "Did you just say— dimension?"

The question visibly catches Veracity off. He blinks twice and his eyes lose focus as his hand slowly covers his mouth.

"Am I from a different dimension?"

He quietly mutters. More hasty writting can be heard in the background and the camera is grabbed by Chamomile, losing focus on Vera.

"I think— This is enough for today."

The video cuts as he starts to say someething else, missing it entirely. ]

[ponyregrets]

Chash, have you ever thought of writing bellamy as a Unite content maker? I was watching this one guy from the US who makes Unite content (spragels, he's very good) and I noticed an alolan ninetines stuffed toy he had in the background and immediately thought of your galar au bellamy. this will now live in my mind rent-free

okay this isn't Bellamy streaming unite, but Spragels has been my work background noise for the last couple weeks so I have been thinking about streaming a lot. Bellamy definitely has an Alolan Ninetails on his screen. AO3 link!

~

Bellamy becomes a streamer entirely by accident. Before he started, he knew, in theory, that people did stream as a whole thing, another incomprehensible online career that he didn't understand the appeal of. He wasn't going to stop anyone else from enjoying it, but he never expects to be involved himself.

But, as with so many things he never expected to be involved in, he starts doing it because of his sister. She finished college and moved across the country because she thought she should be independent, which means she can't admit that she's missing him and feeling homesick and struggling. But after twenty-two years of dealing with Octavia, he knows how to read between the lines.

"What are you playing right now?" she asks, couple weeks into July. "I feel so out of touch with your dumb games when I can't watch you."

"We could still do that, right?" he asks, idly spinning his chair. "That's a thing. I could get it on the computer or something."

"Could you?" she asks, dubious. "That sounds pretty advanced."

Bellamy pauses. "Well, Raven would probably do it for me."

"If you want, I guess," she says, which is Octavia for I'd like that.

"Might as well ask. It's not as fun playing video games alone, anyway."

It's true, as a bonus. Bellamy started playing games on a used Nintendo 64 he found at Goodwill, which he told himself he was getting for Octavia as much as himself. By the time he got it, the system was old enough that he could find games cheap, or borrow them from his friends, and as those same friends upgraded to the newest and shiniest consoles, they were happy to pass along their older ones to him on the cheap. He'd said he was collecting them for Octavia, but as it turned out, his sister wasn't actually as good at video games as he was. At first, it was an age thing--Bellamy's six years older than she is, so of course he was more coordinated than she was when she was little--but even as she got older, she never really enjoyed playing the way he did.

If she hadn't loved watching him, he probably would have given up on the whole thing as an unnecessary indulgence, the kind of thing hobby that didn't do any good. But Octavia would ask him to play and settle in against his side, watching and backseat driving, and so he kept doing it.

And now, at twenty-eight, living on his own for the first time ever, making a decent enough salary that he can buy himself a few nice things, he figures it can't be that hard to make sure his sister can still tune into him playing games whenever she wants.

It's just that, once Raven makes him a Twitch account and teaches him how to use it, people other than Octavia start watching him.

"Why would they do that?" he demands.

"I don't know," Raven says, unimpressed. "It's your shitty stream. You set it up like I told you to?"

"Yeah."

"Then it's public and it's got the name of the game you're playing in it, so I guess people are searching for whatever you're playing and found you. It's not like you're bad at it."

He slants a wary look at her. "Were you one of them?"

"Dude, come on. Of course I subscribed to you. And I watched a couple, yeah. We should set it up so the viewers can hear your sister. You replying to her is cute, but it would be cuter if we knew what she was saying."

"You know I'm not going to go pro, right?"

"Why not?"

It's one of those impossible questions, which are kind of Raven's specialty. To Bellamy, it's a question that answers itself, an obvious thing. People don't actually become streamers, and the ones who do put a lot of work in, and he has better things to put effort into than becoming a big-name video-game streamer.

"I don't even know how it works," he says. "I'm just fooling around. Don't you have to be good?"

"You're not bad at games. And you're fun when you talk about them. I'm not saying you should quit your job and dedicate your whole life to it, but I know you love picking up cash where you can. If you're doing it anyway, why not see if you can get some popularity and subscribers?"

"What's your angle here?" he asks, frowning. "Why do you care?"

"Honestly? I just think it would be funny. You're like the least technologically proficient guy I know, I would love it if you got internet famous."

"I guess when you put it like that." He finishes his beer. "So, how do I become a famous streamer?"

He agrees to everything Raven suggests except for a camera, which he refuses mostly because his living arrangement is great in almost all ways, but a good setup for filming himself wasn't something he prioritized. The rent is cheap and his housemates range from unobjectionable to actually pretty cool, but the trade-off is personal space. He has his room, which is on the small side, and while he doesn't mind playing games there, a camera would pick up a lot more of his living space than he'd really like. He and Raven try it a few ways, but everything they set up is either insanely unflattering or shows off some part of his private space he'd rather keep private. His room has all his favorite things in it because he has nowhere else to store them, and he doesn't want to share them with the internet.

"Fine," Raven says, huffy but resigned. "But if you start taking off, we're going to figure this out."

It's one of those things that's easy to agree to mostly because he doesn't think he'll ever take off, but then Ground Zero comes out.

Initially, the game isn't on his radar at all. It's one of those team fight games that are popular right now, and Bellamy's always found them to be a bad fit for him mostly because he doesn't think he's good on a team. Or, rather, he always thinks he's good, but his teammates always seem to be bad, and the frustration tends to get the better of him. But he's also never really given them much of a chance. By the time he hears about them, everyone else already seems to be better than he is, and he just avoids it because he doesn't like losing.

But Octavia, like Raven, is invested in him becoming some kind of big-name streamer, and not only does she believe that streaming Ground Zero will get him a lot of views, she thinks the game looks cool and wants to see it. So, of course, he gets it, and it turns out he's actually kind of good.

"Don't get me wrong, I hate the idea here," he tells his two hundred or so viewers during his first stream. "Like, the concept sucks. But the gameplay is really fun."

"What's wrong with the concept?" Octavia asks.

"Are you asking or is the chat asking?" he asks. Her job on stream is to make fun of him and also read the chat while he's playing so he doesn't have to look away from his games, and she's very good at both.

"Everyone wants to know."

"Look, the designs are cool and they've got some interesting lore, but the basic story conflict is colonialism. You've got the technologically advanced space people coming down to Earth and trying to take land from the native population."

"Yeah, but the space people are still from Earth," Octavia points out. "Like, their space station died, they have to go somewhere."

"In theory, it's a complicated moral issue," he grants. "But the game doesn't really seem interested in grappling with it. They're just presenting it as two sides with equal claim to this random part of Earth who have decided violence is the only option."

"The backstory says diplomacy failed."

"The backstory doesn't say if there are other places the spacers could go. Like, they just landed in this place and decided they have to live here, specifically. Did they even try to find another location? The maps are all nice and green, it seems like there are plenty of resources to go around."

"Okay, this is getting boring. Colonization sucks, agreed, but let's talk about the good stuff in the game."

"There's a pretty good range of characters and playstyles, even at launch. I like that you're assigned randomly to the space or ground side for each match. You can play similar characters for each, like, if you're into ranged healing, you have options on both teams, but they play differently, so it's hard to really get into a rut playing just one character. It has the problem I always have with MOBAs, where everyone wants to be the hero and not enough people want to pick up supporter roles, but there's a lot of versatility in the moves you can select and the items you can scavenge, so even if you're a healer, you can still kick ass."

"Which is what you like to do."

"I don't think I'm a bad carry," he admits. "And if the team will let me be one, I like doing it. But it's nice that pretty much all of the characters have some flexibility. You're not locked out of carrying just because combat isn't your specialty."

"Moonboy420 in the chat wants to know if you ever want to throw the game when you're on the space side. Just to stick it to the colonizers."

He snorts. "No, but I do feel a lot less bad when my team loses if we're the spacers. Like, yeah, it sucks to lose rank, but we deserved it. And then you get people like this," he says, glaring at the screen. "The game's been going for less than two minutes and our medic is just running around in circles and spamming the ground is beautiful in the chat. That usually happens with players who really favor one side or the other and they're mad they have to play the side they don't like. Which, again, it's random, so if you're really attached to being spacer or grounder, this game isn't a good fit for you. You're just making it suck for everyone else."

"AnitaDarling says that she's played fifteen games and gotten assigned to grounder every time, so she's getting more and more nervous about being bad at the space characters. She wants to know if you'll put together some tutorials on how to play all the characters."

"Huh." He frowns. "Is that something people want? Guides? I usually just stream myself playing, but I could probably give it a shot."

People do want it, and he starts getting more attention, both for his own streaming and for his videos about how to play well. It's kind of a trip, watching his numbers tick up, the weirdest kind of ego stroke, but once he hits one thousand subscribers, Raven says, "You have to start showing your face."

"Why?" he asks. She's not physically present, but she called him and he picked up assuming it was important. He wouldn't have said that his branding was a good enough reason to use the phone, but he should probably start thinking it is. "I'm doing fine."

"Have you ever watched another streamer?"

"A couple." It's weird because as he starts to become known, other people want to do things with him. They want to team up and do streams together and he'd been meaning to ask Raven how to decide which ones to do, because his only idea was to let Octavia decide and he doesn't actually trust her. Mostly, he's been visiting their channels and trying to figure out if they're more popular than he is and what they're doing better.

"All of them are on camera, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"It's weird that you're not. People are going to wonder why you're not. It's not exactly a good way to get attention, unless you want to make your whole identity a mystery. Which I don't really recommend, because that just encourages people to try to figure out who you are. It's not the reason you want to stand out, you know?"

"Okay, so, what, you think I should move? I can't stream from somewhere I don't live, not without it being a pain. And I don't want to rearrange my entire bedroom for streaming. I'd have to rent a storage locker or something."

"You could ask Clarke."

He frowns. "Ask her what?"

"She's got a pretty big art studio in her apartment, I don't think she's using all of it. She might let you set up there. Worth asking, anyway."

"Huh. You think?"

Clarke exists in a weird place in Bellamy's life. She's technically their landlord, but it doesn't really feel that way, mostly because Bellamy has very bad associations with landlords, but Clarke is cool. Her dad died her senior year of college and she decided the best thing to do with the money he left her was investing in a house. She rented out most of the rooms to her friends on the cheap, and as people found other living arrangements or jobs, she brought in new tenants as needed. Raven ended up living there after she and Clarke found out they were fucking the same dude and both dumped him, and then when Raven moved in with Gina and Bellamy was looking to downsize after Octavia left, she gave him her room.

He likes Clarke, liked her even before he started living here, but she's not really part of the house in the way that he gathers she once was. None of the people living in the house are her original roommates anymore, and now she lives on her own on the second floor while everyone else is on the first floor with Murphy living in the basement like some weird gremlin. If someone else was moving out, he could potentially ask about getting their room for some extra rent, but he'd basically given up on finding anywhere in the house.

He sort of forgets that Clarke has all that space up there and probably isn't using all of it.

"The worst she can do is say no," Raven points out. "But she probably wouldn't mind."

"You really think it's that important?"

"The world deserves to see your pretty face."

"I guess when you put it like that." He sighs, glances at the clock. It's almost six; if Clarke agreed, he could maybe get set up and stream tonight. "You think she's home?"

"Probably."

"Cool, I'll ask her."

He doesn't really see Clarke very much thse days, and it's always a little weird when he does. Before he moved in, they'd met a few times socially, at parties and other outings, and he'd been idly thinking about trying to flirt with her after he found out she and her girlfriend broke up, but that seemed like a bad idea once he was paying her rent. He hasn't been avoiding her since then, really, but he thinks she might have noticed he wasn't hanging out with her as much at their various events.

Part of him hopes she noticed.

He goes up the stairs to her floor and knocks, hears an immediate, "Who is it?" back, all wariness. Clarke really is kind of awesome.

"Bellamy."

"One sec."

The door opens and the sight of her in flannel pajama pants and a low-cut tanktop is almost enough to make him change his mind about the whole streaming question. He's always put his best foot forward with Clarke, and he's somehow only now realizing that she doesn't know about his whole video game thing, and he has to tell her.

"What's up?" she prompts. "Everything okay? Bathroom flooded?"

"Oh, no, nothing bad." He rubs the back of his neck. "I actually had a favor to ask."

"Yeah?"

"Raven thought you might have some space I could use to film myself."

It seems like the best way to phrase it before it comes out of his mouth and especially before he sees the way Clarke's eyebrows shoot up. "Film yourself doing what, exactly?"

"Playing video games."

Her mouth twitches. "So you can check your technique?"

"No, it's not--" He rubs his face. "Raven set me up streaming video games for my sister and the two of them think it would be funny if I get really popular. And I guess if I want to be really popular, I need to show my face when I stream, and there's nowhere good for me to do it in my room, so I thought you might have somewhere I could use."

The smile she's been fighting off wins the battle. "So, what, they need to know you're a hot guy playing video games or it won't work?"

"All the popular streamers record themselves," he says, because it's not like he can confirm or deny that he's hot, or ask her to elaborate on her position. "It's good for the parasocial relationship, I guess."

She crosses her arms, leaning against the doorjamb. "And you're into that."

"If I'm going to do it, I might as well do it right. And everyone keeps telling me to do it."

"And Raven said I might have some space you could use."

"I'll pay rent for it," he offers. "Or while I'm using it, I guess? Fuck, I don't know. This is new for me."

"Come inside, Bellamy," she says, stepping into the apartment. "Have a seat. Stop stressing. What are you looking for here?"

He sits down on a chair in her living room, trying not to feel self-conscious. It's only a little bit weird. "Depends, I guess? Like, right now I usually just stream whenever I'm playing video games so my sister can watch if she wants. But I probably don't have to be on camera every time."

"So, what, you're imagining a couple times a week you drag a TV and recording studio up here and play video games for an hour?"

"I hadn't really gotten that far."

"It sort of sounds like what you're actually looking for is a place where you can set up all your gaming stuff and use it whenever you want for however long you want."

He winces. "It doesn't have to be that."

"But that's your best-case scenario."

Her expression is open and without any apparent annoyance, but Bellamy still feels like he's on dangerous ground. "If I had my own place with a couple of rooms, yeah, I'd probably want that. But I don't need that here."

"But if we could do that, you'd want it?" she asks, sounding thoughtful. "Like, if I gave you a key so you could come up whenever and just play your games up here, that would be the easiest thing, right?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess." He's trying not to gape but it's not going great for him. "Is that an option?" he finally asks.

"It might be. I expanded one of the bedrooms into the closet to make a studio last year and it's honestly bigger than I need it to be? I think you could have, like, a corner"

"You really don't have to do that," he says immediately.

"Yeah, you weren't exactly holding me at gun point. It might be fun. Can I watch?"

"My stream?"

"Or you filming or whatever. I can be behind the scenes."

"If you want. I can pay a little extra in rent--"

"Bellamy," she says, cutting him off with a smile. "You don't have to. It's fine. Honestly, it's kind of lonely up here."

It's the first time it occurred to him she might gain something from this. And Raven probably already knew it. "Yeah?"

Her smile is a little wistful. "I like having more room for my stuff. But I definitely feel more like a landlord than a housemate these days."

"You could just invite us up to hang out," he points out. "You don't have to let me set up shop in a corner of your studio."

"But if I invite everyone up, Murphy might hang out," she shoots back. "I'm just saying, if this would help you out, I don't mind. And if it sucks, I'll tell you."

"Are you sure I can't pay you some extra rent?" he asks. It really sounds too good to be true.

"If you start making money streaming, I'll let you give me some," she says, and he smiles.

"Deal." She offers her hand and they shake on it. It feels a little mercenary to immediately "So, uh, when can I start?" but it is pretty much his biggest question.

Clarke shrugs. "Are you busy now?"

They go to check out the room first, just to make sure that it'll work for him, but it's not like he has a lot of requirements. There's enough space and outlets, and he can probably put up some decorations for visual interest.

Downstairs, they find Jasper hanging out on the couch and draft him into helping. Bellamy had been sort of absently worried that some of his housemates might be jealous or upset about his getting some extra space, but Jasper just wants all the information he can get on Bellamy's Twitch career.

So everyone is going to know. It's fine.

Clarke helps him set up, mostly by critiquing his background for not being fun enough, and she ends up going into her room and grabbing some Pokémon stuff for him to display.

"I don't really do Pokémon streams," he points out.

"You need to have some visual interest. You can use them until you get some stuff from your games."

"Thanks," he says, and immediately regrets the sarcasm. "But really, thanks. I really appreciate it. I don't know if I'm actually going to stick with this streaming stuff, but it's nice to have the option."

"No problem. It's cool if you see me sometimes, right? Or do I need to avoid being on camera?"

"It's fine," he says. "No big deal."

He doesn't stream that night, but he records four instructional videos he'll be able to upload over the next few days, and it is kind of nice, seeing himself on screen. He's always expressive when he talks, and having those smiles, his eye rolls and exasperation captured on camera is kind of nice. He watches the first video to make sure everything came out okay before he posts it, but he's not worried. He knows they all came out great.

Even Clarke's Pokémon add something.

She's in the background of the third video, which he notices when he's prepping it to post two days later, but he doesn't really think much of it. All his audience is going to learn from that is that he lives with a blonde woman who wanders behind him sometimes with a paint brush.

"Everyone wants to know who the girl is," Octavia tells him within half an hour of the video going live. "I feel like you should probably tell them soon but all the speculation might be getting you hits."

"They care?"

"Maybe the parasocial relationship is better if they think you aren't an awkward nerd whose last girlfriend is now dating his tech support. Or at least think you're an awkward nerd who landed a hot blonde girlfriend."

"I could land a hot blonde girlfriend," he grumbles.

"Uh huh. Are you gonna stream tomorrow?"

"That's the plan."

"Maybe just open with an introduction for her. Landlord, right?"

"Housemate," he says. "I don't think the chat likes landlords."

"And you want them to like her?"

"I like her. I don't want the chat to spam fuck landlords or something whenever she shows up."

"Yeah, that would suck. You can put it off if you want to," she adds. "I don't care. But if the chat asks about it, I'll relay their questions."

"Cool," he says, and texts Clarke as soon as he hangs up.

In theory, he's allowed to just unlock the door and go upstairs to stream whenever he wants, but it doesn't feel like that yet. So he asks if he can come up, and Clarke says he doesn't have to ask, and he still knocks on the door before he opens it.

She's sitting on the couch with a sketchbook. "At what point do you stop being polite?"

He takes a chair across from her. "No idea, but it hasn't even been a week."

"True. I thought you weren't streaming tonight?"

"I'm not, but apparently my followers are already asking about you, so I thought I'd let you know."

"Mostly who you are and what you're doing in the background of your videos, I guess. My sister does most of the comment monitoring for me, she said you got a lot of attention."

It's true, but not the whole truth. Bellamy actually did go and check the Clarke comments and about 90% of them were omg bell has a girlfriend, which seemed like a pretty big assumption. He wishes he wasn't into her just to prove them wrong, but less than a week of interaction has reminded him that he's still pretty into her.

She perks up, of course. "Yeah?"

"I thought you might want to drop by a stream on purpose," he offers. "Just walk by and I can call you over for an introduction. Or I can just explain you. Your call."

"Explain me?"

"Housemate."

"Not much of an explanation."

"I figured you might not want to give your life story to my random Twitch followers."

"I'm not very good at video games," she says, which feels like a total non sequitur until she adds, "Could you teach me?"

"On stream?"

She shrugs. "Unless you think it would be bad content."

"That would probably be great," he admits. "I'm working on a series of how to play characters, but I thought I could probably go more basic for, like, total beginners. The basics of playing. We could do them together."

She looks so pleased it makes his chest ache. "Really?"

"I make a video, you test it out, and then we do a debrief. What helped, what didn't, stuff like that. I'm kind of new to the instructional videos, maybe I suck at it."

"We can cover the basics off camera," he says. "And if you hate it, we don't have to do it."

"Well, what are you doing now?""

He has things he should be doing, of course. Streaming isn't his whole life. He has a regular job, and even if he's done for the day, he has laundry and chores. He tries to limit his video-gaming to a few nights a week, just so it doesn't consume him, but this is video games with Clarke. And if he leaves now, he'll go downstairs and sit in his room trying to read and thinking about how he could be with her instead.

"Not even a little."

She has such a pretty smile. "I did watch a couple of your videos."

"Yeah?"

"The intro ones. But I don't have a gaming system, so I couldn't try it out."

"If I'm not using my stuff up here, you can always try it out. We'll just make you your own profile."

He gets her set up on his PS5 and she makes an account for Ground Zero and finishes the tutorial without any major issues. The controls are pretty standard to Bellamy, what he would expect after years of playing games, but Clarke takes a little while to identify some of the buttons and get herself doing things correctly. Still, she manages to pick up items, use them as weapons, and heal some people, so she has the basics down.

"We might as well start filming, right?" she asks.

"Why?"

"If it's good, you'd rather post it," she points out, not unreasonably. "And if it sucks, you just don't."

"When you put it like that," he says, and turns the camera on. Clarke brought her chair in from her desk, so they have to do a little repositioning, making sure both of them are in frame and visible, but once that's done, he thinks it's kind of nice. Not as lonely. "Hey, everyone," he says, with the wave he hasn't talked himself out of doing yet. "Bell here. And I've got my housemate, Clarke."

She waves too. "Hi."

"I had some people wondering about her in my last couple videos and it's actually thanks to her I'm doing these at all because I had nowhere good to film and she's letting me use her studio. So everyone in the comments say thank you, Clarke."

"You don't have to do that."

"You do," says Bellamy. "It's not optional. Anyway, Clarke's never really been much of a gamer, but she wanted to try it out. So we're going to find out how good I really am at helping total newbies figure out what to do and whether or not you should listen to me. This is the test."

"What if I'm a prodigy?" Clarke asks. "Then you get credit for my natural talent."

"I'm fine with that. She did the tutorial off camera because I don't think anyone thinks the tutorial is interesting. If she is a prodigy, I couldn't tell from that."

"Ouch."

"You didn't know which joystick you used to move."

"There are like five different things that look like they could control which direction I move on this controller," she shoots back. "I don't think that's on me."

"Yeah, there's a lot of stuff you get used to, playing games a lot," he grants. "It's easy to forget." Something occurs to him, and he frowns. "If you don't play video games, why do you have all these Pokémon? She made me add Pokémon," he tells the camera, although he thinks he might cut this. If nothing else, he doesn't really want Octavia knowing he let Clarke decorate his streaming space. "So you can also thank her for the visual interest."

"My best friend and I really liked the anime and the cards. My parents didn't approve of video games, but they were okay with those. So he and I would get each other Pokémon stuff, and then my relatives realized I liked Pokémon, and I still have a bunch of aunts and uncles who give me Pokémon stuff if we see each other for holidays because they don't know anything about me. And I like Pokémon Go," she adds, a little defiant.

"Well, at least you appreciate the relatives' presents. How are you feeling about doing a game?"

She worries her lip. "I assume it'll match me with other new players?"

"That's the idea. The matchmaking is kind of hit or miss once you get to higher levels, but when you're just starting, they'll either match you with other new players or bots."

"Bots?"

"AI players. They're really dumb, but you can usually beat them."

She shoots a dubious look in his direction. "Usually?"

"Sometimes they're so stupid they sabotage the game. I had one where we would have won if the bots just helped me seize an objective, but they were fighting the other team instead and we lost."

"You're really getting me excited to play this more."

"It was your idea. So, any idea about what kind of character you want to play?"

She shifts a little, shaking out her shoulders. "I watched a couple of your videos."

"Really?" Hopefully he's not visibly swelling with pride. "Why?"

"I was curious. I wanted to see what you were doing in my studio."

"So, what did you learn?"

"I don't think I'd be good at melee fighters. You said the important thing for them was mastering the combo attacks, and that doesn't sound like something I'd be great at. But hiding in the bushes sniping people and doing first aid sounds like a pretty good fit for me."

"Okay, cool. You can do that whichever team you're on, and it always helps your allies."

"I know. Like I said, I watched your videos."

"Okay, you're the expert," he says, holding up his hands. "I won't say anything."

"I didn't say that. You focused a lot on what items and skills to pick but not, like, basics. Where should I be, what should I be doing?"

"Okay," he says, smiling. "Basic of the basics. First, start the match. Then we'll know who you are and what you want to do."

The video with Clarke does well, and of course, Octavia can't shut up about it.

"The chat totally ships you two."

"I don't know what that means."

"Yeah, you do."

"Well, I wish I didn't."

"She's cute. You could do a lot worse."

"I pay her rent."

"So? That means she's rich and she could support you while you try to go pro streaming. I'm not seeing a downside here."

He rubs his face. "Thanks, O. That's really helping."

"She probably wouldn't want to be on your dumb stream if she didn't like you. Like, come on. That's pretty unambiguous."

"Maybe she wants to learn to play video games."

"Uh huh. When you get together, I'm going to say I told you so."

"I hope you will," he says, and goes to read the comments. He might be a little pathetic.

Clarke isn't always on his stream. She has her own life and hobbies, and between her art and her real job and having some kind of social life, she doesn't have that much time for video games. Whenever she plays, it's with him, and they usually film it and he'll cobble the best of and most interesting moments into a weekly feature that his followers seem to love. Every time she walks by when he's streaming, the chat explodes with non-stop CLARKE spam, which, to be fair, is also how he feels when he sees her.

"I can't just ask her out, right?" he asks Miller, a month later.

"Apparently not. I assume if you could, you would have. Is it like a medical condition?"

Bellamy scowls at him. "Dude."

"What? You ask her out. If she says no, it sucks and you get over it. If she says yes, you go out with her. Just get it over with."

"She might stop wanting to hang out with me."

"I'd be more worried about breaking up."

Bellamy groans and drops his head onto the coffee table. "Please don't give me more things to worry about."

"Yeah, I guess you don't need the help." He pauses. "What's your nightmare scenario here, exactly?"

Bellamy thinks it over. "Worst case is, I guess, she kicks me out, I have to find a new place to live, the rent is more expensive and my finances get a lot worse. Bankruptcy, homelessness, dying in a ditch somewhere."

"Okay," says Miller. "Odds on that?"

He smiles. "Obviously that's not going to happen."

"Cool, glad that's out of the way. What's the realistic bad case?"

"I feel weird around her and I don't want to hang out anymore. I stop streaming from her place and my weird Twitch followers ask me why. It's awkward for a while."

"Yeah," Miller agrees. "Sounds realistic."

Bellamy scowls at him. "That's it?"

"I think that's probably the worst thing that might actually happen. Do you actually care if you have to stop streaming? I still can't tell how invested you are in the whole thing."

It's a valid question. "You know I've got an ego," he points out. "I like being popular. And I like being good at a game. And if I'm going to be good at it, I might as well be good in public and help other people? Raven is doing stuff to work the algorithms and stuff, I'm getting more followers by the day. I still don't think it's going to be my job or anything, but yeah, I like it. I don't want to stop."

"So, would you?"

"Would I stop?"

"Yeah."

"I probably wouldn't, you know, stream from her place."

"If she said she didn't want to date you?"

Put like that, it does seem like kind of an overreaction. "If she wasn't comfortable with it. And I'd worry she wouldn't say if she was uncomfortable."

"If Jasper asked you out, would you stop talking to him?"

"No."

"Okay then."

Bellamy smiles faintly. "Trying to logic me out of it, huh?"

"Or into it. Look,the longer you wait, the harder it is to make a move. Right? If you'd just done this before you moved into her place, we wouldn't even be having this conversation."

"But I might be paying way more for rent." He sighs. "I could ask if she wants to get dinner, I guess. Low pressure, just checking."

"Worst-case scenario, she says no. And if you're normal about it, she'll be normal about it."

"The older I get, the more I think those do you like me y/n notes were a good idea. Indirect, no confrontation, and if it's no, we never mention it again."

"Or you could just talk to the girl you like, like an adult."

Bellamy has to smile. "Or that, yeah."

He's still planning to wait a couple days. It's partially cowardice, obviously, but his justification is that they're filming a joint videos the next day, and if he waits to talk to her until after that they'll have a couple days before they see each other again, which should be enough time to work through any awkwardness.

He's also chickenshit, but he's got a timeline. There's a plan.

And then, when he goes up to film, Clarke opens the door and asks, "Want to make out?"

"Um," he says, trying not to gape. "What?"

"I just thought I should check. I thought you probably did."

He recovers enough to say, "I do, yeah. I was going to ask you to get dinner."

She laughs. "You should see your face."

"Sorry. I just wasn't really expecting that."

"You were going to ask me to dinner, but you didn't think I wanted to make out?"

"Well, I wasn't sure you were going to say yes," he says, and leans down to kiss her before she can respond. Her hands tangle in his hair almost as once, like maybe she's been thinking about how much she wants them there, and Bellamy tugs her in by the hips, pulling her flush against him.

"I was going to say yes," she murmurs between kisses, making him smile.

"Cool, I still want to get dinner."

She pulls back to look at him. "I did think you were going to ask me out," she says, half-accusatory. "Like six months ago."

"I thought it might be weird once I moved in."

She groans. "I told Raven! She was like, he'll be living with you, you can hook up! And I said it would make things weird."

He's not laughing at her, but he can't help laughing. "Did Raven tell me to stream video games from your studio to try to set us up?"

"Yeah, absolutely. And I didn't think it would work, so she's going to be really smug."

"Me streaming isn't actually a turn-on, is it?" he asks, mostly out of curiosity.

"You didn't really need the help, but it's cute. And," she looks away, smiling as she bites her lip, "you should see your face when you look at me."

"When I look at you?"

"I wasn't sure you were interested, but Raven said I should watch when I show up on the streams. Your sister tells you I'm around and your whole face lights up."

Color rushes up his neck, but he's pretty sure he's lighting up right now. "Yeah," he says. "Of course I do."

She's smiling at him now. "That's why I thought you'd want to make out."

They don't end up recording anything that night, which Bellamy doesn't mind at all, and Octavia does tell him she told him so, which, as promised, he minds even less. He kind of owes her. The streaming thing is working out pretty great for him, after all.

[thundrbott]

fave lolrpf ships: everyone but deft (part 1)

phase 1

piglet/poohmandu - the OG! whiny bratty attention-seeking dongsaeng and his chill indulgent idgaf hyung, the couple igns and their playstyle that perfectly fit their '100 acre lane' nickname

flame/ambition - a vague memory now but i ~think they were competitive as hell and prbly fought a lot and that kind of fiery relationship is delicious ngl. also flame was very pretty and ambition looked like he could commit murder which is an a+ combo

phase 2

dandy/mata - the bickering and tension and messy, messy feelings, going from the highs of winning worlds together to the lows of bottom-tier lpl hell (i owe this one 100% to all the wonderful fic)

looper/dade - again this was 100% bc of the fic and also that one photo of them sitting beside each other in their down jackets, smiling brightly and looking as if they decided to retire to the countryside and live an ordinary life

clearlove/koro1 - the angsty tragic BE ship of my dreams, literally wept watching their fanvids and reading break-up (not really make-up) future fics, also koro's red-rimmed eyes after crying...smth smth there is a certain kind of beauty to suffering...

faker/cpt jack - the way cpt jack was the only person that faker would troll in soloq and cpt jack malding so much he (repeatedly?) reported him, and then their roommate adventures at all-stars where cpt jack had to tell faker not to brush his teeth with shower gel and then they actually got close after staying up all night talking

score/smeb - susu duo! smol soft hyung whose 2hp baron in lck finals got stolen by the bright-as-the-sun dongsaeng that became his teammate a few months later (and they eventually won a lck title ~together)

gorilla/pray - i'm still ToT thinking about how longzhu-era prilla raised an entire family of kids on their own, despite the very difficult circumstances. mom!gorilla who kindly took care of everyone and kept things in order and dad!pray who played well with the kids and made them laugh but also went out to eat by himself bc he needed some recharge/alone-time. the classic bot duo that complements each other and the most wholesome found family feels ;-;

phase 3

tarzan/icon - the way i fell flat on my face for these two after stumbling upon a photo of them and seeing the weibo comments underneath that confirmed my suspicions that they were indeed a cp lmao. quiet and kind of spacy disney princess tarzan and tattooed fuerdai icon whose personality isn't as flashy as you'd expect. so many casual touches/skinship and the rent-free-in-my-mind moment is that time icon took off his bling bling chain necklace and put it on tarzan (like it was some goddamn public proposal)

honourary mentions

smeb/kuro - duet partner bros who absolutely would hold his bro if he cries (and has done so in the past)

gorilla/kuro - bickering b(f)fs whose closeness has withstood the test of time

bengi/faker - skt t1 k's other bratty dongsaeng/indulgent hyung duo

ruler/corejj - clingy puppy! and the calm master that raised him

rox tigers/meiko - half-serious but smeb/pray/kuro's adoration of 'cute boy iko' was hilarious

marin/pyl - cat dads with matching striped sweatshirts

doublelift/biofrost - solely based on their tsm duos video

[rillils]

RILS BABY LISTEN I GOTTA TELL YOU THIS. 

Okay so I just had a little evening nap, as you do, and I dreamt I was on some kinda video call with her and she was trying to tell me something terribly important but it kept cutting off and all I could think about is how frickin PRETTY she is and sdkdshsfsfs HOW am I supposed to live my life without knowing what she was trying to tell meeeee 😩😩😩

I MISS HER SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭😭 

Wow okay. Deep breaths. 

In other news, hiii I love you lots & I hope you’re doing well!! 💘💘💘 Also, your Wakanda Stucky wedding fic is living in my head RENT FREE and I can’t stop thinking about ittttttttt 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 

KAY BABY!!! 💕💖💕💖💕 Light of my life, apple of my eye, that is quite the dream to have while you're taking a nap~ 🥰 ahhh god knows I wish I could see Karen in my dreams too, she's so damn gorgeous 😍😍💕💕 (this just in: I had no idea it was possible for me to have a huge crush on THE ENTIRE Team Avocado, SIMULTANEOUSLY, but apparently this is my life now 🥑🥑🥑 *dreamy sigh*)

Damnnnn, it's such a bummer that you woke up before Karen could tell you 🥺🥺 But you see, I think I know what this terribly important thing was~ I'm pretty sure she wanted to tell you that's she's been secretly in love with you forever and that she'd love for the two of you to elope together asap 💖🥰💖😘 How could she not fall head over heels for you, sweetest you, absolutely freakin' wonderful you?? 💕💕💕

fhdgdhkfhskjdklsk HONEYYYY STAHP, I CANNOT *FLAILING INTENSIFIES* thank you so so much for saying that, Kay baby, it means the world to me, especially coming from such a talented and brilliant writer as you are 😘😘😘😘 And if you're thinking about the wakanda wedding, please know that I've had skater!Bucky and jock!Steve on my mind FOREVER, with no chance to escape the glorious well of Pure Unadulterated Feels™ that they supply me with 💕💕🔥🔥😘😘 In conclusion, I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH AND I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING THE BEST DAY *sprinkles rainbow confetti on you*

[doctorweebmd]

Nobody asked but here’s a list of animes that gave me absolute batshit insane brainworms in no particular order since for some reason I was thinking about this today:

(literally just me ranting under the cut lmao) 

1.) Sailor Moon - god, which little girl didn’t love Sailor Moon in the early 2000s? I was obsessed. Watched it like a religion. The manga. The art. The homoerotic overtones. The cute outfits. The princess that can fight. It still has a stranglehold on my heart. Although I tried to watch that Sailor Moon Crystal reboot and they just... bastardized it. It looks so bad lmao. 

2.) Dragon Ball Z - I think Gohan specifically made me insane. Oh, you didn’t try to do kamehameha blasts? You didn’t try to do Fushion-Ha with your friends? You didn’t pretend you could fly just by sheer force of will like Videl? Get out of here. I may or may not have written some self-insert fanfics that were DBZ/Sailor Moon crossovers as a kiddo. Lmao. 

3.) Yu Yu Hakusho - this is by far the worst offender on this list and probably still tops my favorite anime/mangas of all time. I’m talking obsessed. I can’t describe how many times I’ve seen it, collected all the manga volumes, collected the trading cards, bought and played every video game. Delinquent with a heart of gold? Second chances? Being alone and not seeing the point of your life but finding friends and a purpose and joy? Damn I sure wonder why this took over my entire teenage existence.... Also on a fandom note I think at this point I started being old enough to like, seek out fanfiction and get into slash. Fanfiction.net was a fuckin’ warzone lol. I was very weirdly into Yusuke/Kurama, too, and there wasn’t shit with that pairing anywhere. It holds up incredibly well. Spirit Gun?! Bad bitches only. Come on. 

4.) Gravitation - this one I don’t really have an excuse for. It was like 15 episodes but it made me straight up crazy. I collected all the manga. The fact that it was a BL book didn’t even like, click in my teenage brain. But the mysterious writer with a dark past? The naive and sweet lead singer of a band that acts like an idiot but has pipes for days? Urgh. As a concept, its still like, the best band anime I’ve seen. Plus all the songs fucking SLAP. It does NOT hold up on rewatch lol. Shuuichi is frankly annoying and Erie is a fucking dick. Plus on re-read the author is... uh.... kind of obsessed with physically and violently raping Erie in her own doujinshi and painting gay men as predators. Leaves a bad taste in your mouth. 

5.) My Hero Academia - *shows you around* yeah. here we are. Mind you, I haven’t been weird about anime in a solid like... 10 years but something about it activated my weeb sleeper cells and it has lived rent free in the my brain ever since. Everyone who shits on MHA is a hater lol. Story wise, character wise, design wise it tops my ‘greatest anime of all time’ list. 

Speaking of the greatest animes of all time... the list above does not represent what I think about them in terms of quality, just that they scratched an itch that I can’t really put a finger on. Now in terms of objective quality, I’d definitely remove Gravitation, Sailor Moon and Dragon Ball and replace it with Fullmetal Alchemist and Hunter x Hunter. 

Fullmetal Alchemist is the best, full stop. The power system is beautifully thought out and really interesting. The entire plot if heavily character driven. The ‘villains’ are engaging and you feel some degree of sympathy for them. Its probably the anime I would recommend to anyone who wanted to watch anime for the first time. Absolutely stupendous. 

I think if I watched HxH at a younger age it would have probably had the same stranglehold on me as the above mentioned. Its so outlandish and weird, the characters are all memorable, the villains are fascinating, and its just driven so heavily by this perfect, pure friendship of Gon and Killua. There’s no other relationship in shonen that I can think of that is just that... good. They’re literally best friends. They would literally rip the world apart for each other. The fight between Kurapika and Uvogin will forever be one my favorite animated fights of all time. ALL TIME. 

Honorable mentions that I’ve watched probably multiple times and enjoyed significantly: 

Ouran High School Host Club - god its so campy. So cute. So character driven. Beautiful. 

One Punch Man - really really enjoying it so far. Will continue to watch. Super hilarious. 

Regarding some really popular animes right now (AKA me shitting on people’s faves... sorry. I’m just a hater) :

Jujutsu Kaisen - am watching right now. I like it enough to keep watching, but I will say their power system and character introduction has been a tad lackluster and I’m not super into it. The animation is beautiful, though. 

Demon Slayer - am enjoying for sure. Will continue to watch. Same thing - the designs are beautiful, the art is breathtaking and it's an interesting concept, but I don’t really feel that invested in any of the characters. It just doesn’t have that emotional pull for me. What they built with Rengoku’s character and arc surpasses the emotional development of the rest of the characters in the series for me, easy.  

Haikyuu! - y’all got me to watch a sports anime. How. Overall, I liked it. Will continue to watch it. But damn does it do, like, NOTHING for me. Hinata’s and Kageyama’s friendship/rivalry is really the anchor of this whole series. Plus I love a short king underdog upbeat protagonist, what can I say. 

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure - I’ve seen most of it and... yeah, it's really just not for me. I sincerely do not get the hype. The outfits slap though. 

Death Note - read it before it got animated and really liked it as a standalone, but wouldn’t reread. Amazing plot, engaging characters, unique in every way and the art is mesmerizing. But honestly I’ve tried to watch the anime multiple times and it's just... eh. Can’t get through it. There’s just some stories that aren’t as good when you animate them. 

Attack on Titan - fascinating concept, cool outfit/power system design and super engaging. I’ve seen a lot of it, but they kinda lost me with the ‘twist’ of where Titans come from. It's like the author had this amazing concept and literally didn’t know how to execute it. Also like... Levi literally carries that show. Eren? Bitch. Armin? I wanted to like him so bad, but uh. Bitch. Mikasa? I think you know where I’m going with this lol. Stopped watching. 

I’ve never seen Bleach, One Piece, Naruto, Inuyasha and never will lmao. I think next on the list will be Mob Psycho 100. 

[purplesurveys]

1614

How often do you eat your favourite food? These days a set of chicken and waffles is my current favorite, and I have that just, like...once every 2-3 months. Not very often at all. I don’t think it’s like sushi where I could never get sick of it, so I try not to have it a lot.

Have you ever fallen asleep on public transport? (including planes) Only once - on a plane trip from Shanghai back to Manila. I hate the idea of falling asleep around strangers.

What room of the house are you in right now? I’m at the dining area watching the dogs alternate between affectionately playing and aggressively humping.

What was the last tv show you watched? The Walking Dead. We attempted to watch an episode while in Tanay knowing full well the wifi sucks, but since we were getting bored out of our minds we gave it a shot. Long story short we managed to get to like 3 minutes before accepting the fact that an episode would not be possible to finish that day.

...I ended up looking for the episode’s transcript online and just doing a table read with it so that my sister could know what happened for the rest of the episode. With voices, impersonations, the full package. It was ridiculous but we did manage to kill at least like a half hour with that, so I’d say we were still the real winners that night hahaha.

Have you been using Apple Music? No. I remember using Apple Music a grand total of One Time a few years ago... one of my favorite acts (I can’t remember who it was anymore) did an exclusive thingy on there, like an exclusive song or releasing their album a day before on Apple Music or something like that. Anyway, I put up a free trial just for that promo thing then abandoned my account right after lol. I’ve used Spotify for nearly a decade now.

Do you pay rent for the place you live? How often? Not at the moment. I don’t pay any other particular bills either, but I do hand over a portion of my pay to my parents every two weeks. 

How do you feel at this particular moment? Anything on your mind? I’m doing pretty okay. I have work to attend to all weekend but I’m trying my best not to complain about it because ugh what’s the point.

Where was the last place you went on vacation/holiday to? Who’d you go with? Tanay with family.

Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? Well anyone is free to play music out loud if they want to, but we mostly wear earphones. Occasionally we’ll switch on the smart TV in one of the rooms to have a steady stream of K-pop music videos playing. 

List all the colours you’re currently wearing. Black and white.

What’s your favourite type of donut? Anything that isn’t filled, I could possibly end up loving. I LOVE doughnuts and get excited when I encounter unique flavors or concepts hahaha.

What do you usually eat for breakfast? I don’t prepare anything apart from iced coffee; but in the times I get to have a spread with my family I will usually go for the roasted eggplants, scrambled eggs, hotdogs, salted egg, and sometimes the luncheon meat too.

Do you have any candles in your bedroom? Do you light them often? Yeah I have one here but I haven’t lit it in like two years.

When was the last time you went out for dinner? Last Friday was an office day and my team and I had Korean barbecue.

Have you seen all the Hunger Games films as of current? I just saw the first one – and I saw it a lot as it was endlessly aired on one of the movie channels back when we still had cable.

What was the last thing you said to someone else in person? “Is this normal?” The prongs on my laptop charger plug are looking a bit...roasted(??) lately lol so I ran to my sister to ask if her charger looks the same.

Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? I have a Mac.

How many times do you call someone on the phone a week? As confident as I’ve since become talking on the phone, I still don’t really want to be the one making the call – I’m in the belief that everything can be settled via a chat thread if you just communicate well and concisely enough, lol.

Have you cooked anything today? What was it? I have not.

Do you have a lot of cousins? What are their names? I mean in the context of Filipino family trees then my list of cousins is pretty much endless; but I do have 11 first cousins, with whom I keep in touch the most. For second cousins, I have 3 that I’d say I’m particularly close with but I’ve lost count of how many I actually have.

What does your shampoo smell like? I don’t know, it has a generic shampoo smell. < Same, I’m not picky when it comes to smell.

What about the body wash or soap you’re using at the moment? Just soap. Have you ever had an exotic or unusual pet? The most ~non-traditional~ one we’ve had is probably the chick my sister won at some carnival game. We really tried to take care of him and nurse him and all but he died overnight.

Any movies you’ve seen recently that you’d recommend to me? A few months ago I did a rewatch of Two for the Road, which is never going to be dethroned as my all-time favorite film. It has its kinks and quirks and fair share of shitty dialogue and ridiculous camera angles (it was the 60s – and particular for that movie it was also narrated in a non-linear format, which was unusual for its time) that need to be forgiven, but overall it has a beautiful yet painfully honest story that can only be executed no less by the performances of Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney.

Why did you last go see a doctor? It was in like May 2020 when I got deathly sick, which turned out to be a UTI. Shittiest I ever felt – bones felt like glass and I felt like I was just going to drop dead any minute.

What was the last thing you bought online? New pods for my vape. Where do you usually park your car? We have a carport for it.

Does your mail get delivered to your house or do you have to collect it? It gets delivered directly to us.

Are you more logical or creative? Logical.

Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Yes, as soon as I take it out of its packaging. I HATE tags, or at least how itchy they can be.

What is your dream job? Do you think that’s attainable for you? In another world I’d be making the most of my writing hobby as a lifestyle writer/reporter, but given that the money for that line of work will never be sustainable, I’ve had to give it up. It’s definitely attainable and I have some contacts who can make it happen, but it always circles back to the money.

I’d also love to do PR work for companies that I closely follow and am a fan of, like WWE or Hybe. This is definitely more difficult to get to than the previous but I think anything is possible anyway as long as you work towards it, meet the right people, put yourself out there and not be afraid to make mistakes, yadda yadda.

When was the last time you looked at Facebook, Twitter or etc.? Around half an hour ago.

Have you ever been on a train? Where did you go? Once. I just went to Manila lol.

How many times a year do you go on vacation? Around 3-4 times a year, when my dad’s home. We don’t book vacations if we’re incomplete.

Can you curl your tongue or do anything else cool with it? Just curling it is what I can do.

What was the last job interview you went to? It was for my current job back in November 2020.

--

Do you ever just feel like you need to be alone for some reason? Well yeah, don’t we all get our recharging moments? I’ll sometimes have weeks that for some reason were bombarded with work calls AND face-to-face events, and those would usually knock me out for the rest of the weekend. But sometimes I’ll also want to be alone just because.

When was the last time you wore something totally inappropriate for the weather? Does this happen often? You don’t get such moments here since the climate is pretty uniform all year round (read: HOT), but what comes to mind is my quick stop in Japan, 2016. I was 18, not a seasoned traveller and didn’t do my research at all, and definitely did not prepare any thick jackets or padding or whatever you wear for colder climates; and I had no idea it was gonna be 1ºC in Fukuoka. All I had were t-shirts and the thinnest of cardigans, so suffice it to say I had a shit time LOL. I was begging to go back inside the ship towards the end of the limited time that we had there.

The last time you went out of the house, where were you going and what did you do? My parents and I were headed to the airport to drop off my dad, who was flying out to go back to his work. Pretty straightforward trip; my mom and I went straight home after since it was like 10 PM anyway and we were both tired.

When was the last time someone cancelled plans on you? Were you annoyed? We invited Kaye and Lea to our group’s Christmas party, but they canceled the day of. That entire week leading up to the party I could tell they didn’t feel like going so I wasn’t all too surprised, but I did feel a little bit sorry/regretful since I had gotten gifts for both of them – which are still here in my room, haha.

Do you have a friend that has a tendency to “dump” you whenever they get a new partner? No, but I used to be that friend, regrettably so. For the last three years I’ve been making it up as fuck to those friends.

Would you ever want to go on vacation with just one of your parents? Eh not really, our relationship isn’t cemented on one-on-one time with each other. I’d rather spoil everyone at once, like taking the family out for dinner or booking a hotel for the weekend.

In summer, do you prefer to wear dresses or shorts and tops? Or maybe something else? I prefer going the casual route so I’m more on sleeveless tops, halter tops, etc paired with either shorts or comfy jeans.

Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? Nah.

Have you ever had an unusual type of milk (eg. oat, rice, almond)? I haven’t.

If you could experience life as a Disney princess for a week, which princess would you pick and why? Rapunzel because Eugene Fitzherbert, duh? How many cans of soda would you say you drink in a week, if any at all? 0.

When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? Yes, since my office is here. I do try to split my time here and downstairs so I can have ample playtime with the dogs.

If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? I don’t sleep in because I could never. I always automatically wake up at around 7-8 in the morning. How much stuff do you take with you when you go on vacation for a week? I always overpack; my bag for a weekend trip is usually filled with stuff good for 4-5 days, haha. That said, if I were to go on vacation for a week then I would definitely pack twice as much clothes.

How old is your oldest living relative? I have no idea man, I have the biggest fucking family. But as far as I know, oldest would be my maternal grandma who is turning 77 this year. 

Do you know anyone who is an alcoholic? How has that affected you? Yes, a few relatives. I witnessed countless screaming matches and my then-2 year old cousin suffocated to near-death because of it. It made me ashamed of my family for years, and also very fearful of alcohol. I used to vow never to take a sip. Once I got to try it myself, I learned that it is possible to be responsible and disciplined about alcohol and that my relatives were just god fucking awful at handling theirs. I do like to drink, but the motivation to not end up like them is what pushes me to be smart about the shit I drink.

Could you willingly live on a vegan diet? Sure, as long as the resources are accessible and affordable.

If you’re a fan of Harry Potter, are you sad that there’ll never be another book or movie? I wasn’t an HP fan so didn’t really ever stop to think about this.

If you’re an only child, do you wish you had siblings? If you have siblings, do you get along? I get along very well with my sister; I’m not on speaking terms with my brother.

How long have you had the shirt you’re wearing? Since like 2018 or 2019.

What happened last time you got drunk? Skipped out on the fireworks when the clock hit midnight last January 1 in favor of keeping my dogs company, while I did karaoke.

When’s the last time you straightened your hair? No idea. I don’t want a straightener anywhere near my hair.

Do you bite your toe nails? No.

Last thing you said out loud? No idea, I haven’t talked in like an hour.

Last time you laughed your head off? Last weekend when I was watching that episode of Dish Granted where Steven and Tony had to make a cake of Zach Kornfeld’s head. I know they tried their genuine best but the cake ended up so hilariously horrifying that I ended up pausing the video one too many times to just throw my head back and laugh.

What do you want right this second? I would love to be able to snap my fingers and have all the weekend work I have done in an instant.

How are you sitting? Cross-legged on my bed.

Your mood? A little sleepy, otherwise bored.

Did you sleep alone last night? Yep.

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? No.

Do you find piercings attractive? They can end up being so but I don’t look for piercings.

What were you doing last night at midnight? Probably playing a few rounds of In the Seom while having my coffee.

Will you have sexual intercourse within the next two weeks? No.

How many cigarettes have you smoked today? None.

Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? Sometimes.

Do you like potato chips? Eh, just certain kinds. I love when they’re baked though.

Do you give out second chances way too easily? No, quite the opposite.

[arabellaflynn]

Holiday Housekeeping!

Hello all! The year is drawing to a close. FINALLY. I have good news and bad news, as usual.

The bad news is that my last steady gig sent me an email this morning telling me they won't be needing me after Thanksgiving. I am beyond pissed. Not at the lack of work; they essentially provide support services for ongoing events, so if there are no events, there's nothing to give me, and they have no control over that. What I'm pissed about is that these clients are supposed to be signing contracts for a fixed period of time/number of events, but they're letting people alter or cancel their contracts with basically no notice, and no penalty. They book me for a thing, I block off those dates and budget accordingly, then whoops! Event vanishes halfway through.

I was already looking for another job, but I guess now I have more free time to do it in. 

The good news is that I have some grant applications in process right now, and will almost certainly get one of them. The Mass Cultural Council offered recovery grants, with no strings attached -- the entire application was pretty much, "Are you an artist? Do you live in MA? Would you like some money?" Everything else is more merit-based and has to go through panels and committees first, but there is no Earthly reason that MCC would not award me that grant, so there is a good chance I will be getting $5000 somewhere in January. I realize this is not a huge amount of money to most people, but that's about six months' living expenses for me.

Unfortunately, January is still a ways away, so my Christmas list, for the third year in a row, is basically just "survival". Money is most useful and goes here or here. I do realize that you guys are here for entertainment, and "blogger pays rent!" is not very fun to read, but my Amazon Wish List is not much better. Mostly I wish someone would magically mail me shampoo and socks so that I don't have to worry about buying them. I did turn on the option that lets you ship other things along with Wish List items, so if anyone is dying to send me candy, have at.

If you wish to send the rats some holiday gifts... well, I don't blame you, they are almost criminally cute. Their Wish List is here. I put the kibosh on the 50 lb wheel of parmesan cheese, but it does include a lot of snacks, cuddly cage blankets, and the little hanging baskets they have so much fun with. You can also ship them random things, but please bear in mind that cage furnishings have to be either disposable, or made of something that is bleachable/boilable. Wood and other porous material will quickly become suffused with, shall we say, 'essence of rat' and will never be clean again. Rats, like dogs, are adorably disgusting.

Ratsgiving and Ratmas are not being canceled; they go up on Patreon, and are therefore work expenses. Plus it will force me to eat something other than beans and rice for a bit. I already bought most of the decorations before the bad news hit, anyway. I'm also running a promotion where anyone signed up to either this Patreon or my art/dance one by December 15th for $5 or more will get a Ratmas e-card, and $20 or more will be getting a physical Ratmas card, so keep an eye out for that.

I've tried to make the past few Advent Calendars more community-minded but this year I'm saying fuck it, I'm just going to spend a month writing about something I enjoy contemplating. Probably history of media/video games. I might also take another stab at streaming. I won't be on camera this time; the only private space I'd have to stream is in my bedroom, which is nowhere near big enough for a set, and unfortunately the gaming setup and the facecam setup in here are mutually exclusive. A Let's Play style stream with me on headset is the best I can do.

I'm just really tired, you guys. I want 2023 to be better.

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[jefelen-presents]

“Bridge of the Doomed” (2022)

Saturday, November 5, 2022 (23:32) JEFELEN was pleased to serve as Executive Producer for Mahal Empire Productions™ on their latest horror feature, "Bridge of the Doomed" (in conjunction with Spicy Ramen Productions™), which was based upon the original screenplay by fellow Australian, Adrian Milnes, with direction and cinematography handled with versatility by Michael Su.

http://www.mahalempire.com/bridge-of-the-doomed

A virus has beset the globe, infecting the dead and reviving them as flesh-eating monsters.  In a seemingly never-ending war against these hoards of ravenous zombies, a battalion of dogged soldiers positions itself to defend a strategically advantageous bridge and await the arrival of reinforcements to cross.  But as the days and nights wear on, something more terrifying than the ceaseless waves of undead eventually reveals itself -- a savage monstrosity living beneath that all-important bridge may yet spell doom for them all...

Practical creature prosthetics and effects were crated by the artisans at V.G.P Effects and Design™.  Distribution is being overseen by Gravitas Ventures™.

http://www.gravitasventures.com/bridge-of-the-doomed-2022

Now available digitally to buy or rent through the following reputable streaming platforms:

Amazon Prime Video™: http://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B0B8SKPYCD

Roku™: http://www.roku.com/whats-on/movies/bridge-of-the-doomed...

Vudu™: http://www.vudu.com/.../details/Bridge-of-the-Doomed/2152099

Verizon™: http://tv.verizon.com/.../bridge-of.../GRAV1690000001407040

Google Play™: http://play.google.com/.../details/Bridge_of_the_Doomed...

iTunes™: http://itunes.apple.com/.../bridge-of-the.../id1649814013

Apple TV™: http://tv.apple.com/.../umc.cmc.10ci9186ojqxrnfvx67xkt9rf

Playpilot™: http://www.playpilot.com/us/movie/bridge-of-the-doomed-2020

Microsoft Store™: http://www.microsoft.com/.../bridge-of-the.../8d6kgwz053xs

YouTube™: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hOi95qNrbs

Vimeo™: http://vimeo.com/ondemand/bridgeofthedoomed

Physical media is presently being catered to the US market through Amazon.com, available on the following formats:

DVD: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BC9ZBMVW

Blu-Ray: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BC9Y7J19

No word yet on a localised Australian release, but I'll be sure to present updates on any such commercial prospect the moment information becomes available -- stay tuned.  Promotional material by Trailer Den™.

#MahalEmpire  #BridgeOfTheDoomed  #GravitasVentures  #AvailableNOW

Monday, November 7, 2022 (13:31)

There's also this earlier alternative trailer to consider, taken from a time prior to my being promoted to Executive: http://www.youtube.com/embed/kqC1-hQ7fZQ?vq=hd720&rel=0...

As opposed to the teaser I previously shared, which omitted my name entirely from the closing credit block: http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=5393406890690403&id=100000634350634 These things have been known to happen from time to time, mind you -- egos need not apply in such scenarios.  In any case, this promotional material is presently being employed to represent "Bridge of the Doomed" at the American Film Market with the hopes of securing wider international distribution...

Wednesday, November 9, 2022 (23:32) To that end, I hereby present the official one-sheet, with key art laid out by Mouine Omari, to keep a considered eye out for:

Thursday, March 30th, 2023 (13:31) 2023 UPDATE: I'm pleased to report that "Bridge of the Doomed" is now available to stream (with commercial interstitials) for FREE via the Tubi™ ad-supported content platform:

http://www.tubitv.com/movies/100000807

This is particularly exciting news because, unlike many of the announcements I make of this nature, this one pertains to content actually available to stream right here in Australia!  Other territories too, of course.  Physical media is yet to materialise outside of the United States, but watch this space for further developments there (and do feel free to watch the movie itself here in the meantime...).

Sunday, March 24th, 2024 (13:31) 2024 UPDATE: while in the process of conducting routine quadrennial housekeeping, it has come to my attention that the number of streaming options for "Bridge of the Doomed" has expanded to include the following:

Gravitas Ventures™: http://www.gravitasmovies.com/.../Bridg.../ct6Z7iW8/DDgpugGX

hoopla Digital™: http://www.hoopladigital.com/title/15613502

Xumo Play™: http://play.xumo.com/.../bridge-of-the-doomed/XM0JKPUYKOZXVJ

Freecable TV™: http://www.freetv-app.com/.../bridge-of-the-doomed...

Sky™: http://www.skystore.com/.../2cced0a7-aab3-4d50-b214...

Plex™: http://watch.plex.tv/movie/bridge-of-the-doomed

An authorised Australian physical release is looking increasingly unlikely at this stage, but at least there are a couple of digital options available to these distant shores...