please don't mistake silence for hatred. please don't mistake unanswered plotting messages as indifference, or a lack of enthusiasm towards you. considering the ages of most roleplayers, many of us have bills to pay, families to take care of, medical conditions to treat, appointments to make, classes to take, homes to clean, and lives to live away from the computer that are far, far more important than writing on tumblr — life has a tendency to get in the way of hobbies and fun things like this. be patient with your fellow writers. if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. of course you can set your boundaries, keep your space comfortable, and softblock whoever you wish, but do so while recognizing it's probably not hatred or apathy that keeps them from leaping into your dms with message after message. they probably love this hobby just as much as you... but sometimes life gets in the way.
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i used to talk about this a lot on twitter a few years ago but recently i’ve been thinking again about how little agency victor kain has both within the narrative and as an individual. specifically i think a lot about how his life after nina’s death is one in which he as a person plays very little role, and the fact that his duty as her husband (and as a kain) means that after she’s gone the nature of his family’s beliefs about the preservation of the soul keep him trapped by design in a grief that is necessarily all-consuming. if he wants to keep nina’s soul alive he can never progress beyond even the first stage of grief: every moment has to be dedicated to her and her memory; he has to be constantly reminded of her and the fact that she is dead. for him to move on would be for him to essentially kill her, so he can never even attempt to recover from her loss. his life has to revolve around the space where she was. in that way i see him as kind of a living shrine, a memorial whilst he’s alive and a vessel when he’s dead. his path is called the mistress! his entire life is explicitly devoted to someone who will take his body and return to life when he sacrifices himself for her! he’s working towards a utopia like the rest of his family, but who is it for? he lost his son in the pursuit of this thing which he will never get to see, and which seemingly never had a place for him at all. the kains’ utopia doesn’t even extend to their own.
all of this pains me particularly acutely because of how clear it is that victor does have interests and desires of his own, despite his implications that he is nothing more than a mouthpiece for his family. if you believe andrey, he doesn’t even want to be here: he wants to go back to the capital to finish his degree. i often see people talk about the kains as if they are one undifferentiated entity, but a lot of the quests ‘the kains’ give you are from victor, and i would argue that in most of those he is acting as an individual rather than necessarily a kain. he wants daniil to free the wrongfully imprisoned people; he acts against his family’s interests in rewarding clara for telling him about rubin. his letter to daniil on day 9 causes me agony for many reasons but in this context specifically because it doesn’t seem like he wants to die. georgiy appears pretty unfazed about being possessed by simon (although it’s georgiy so who knows) but victor, who has two children and has been one of the town’s rulers for presumably several decades, is telling a man he met just over a week ago that he is the only one to whom he can pass on anything meaningful. you could argue that he is just manipulating daniil here to persuade him to take up the kains’ cause, but i am of the opinion that he is being genuine in this case. he doesn’t want to die. he wants his family back again, but the only way they can be reunited is with his death. he wants to finish his degree. i am putting my head through walls
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...just heard about the upcoming perk changes...hmm...yeah. the only good one definitely is the adrenaline nerf. I've wanted them to take away healing off hook forever.
the other perk changes are ass.
ultimate weapon is still outrageously unfair, even if you take away the screaming! to me, it feels like they just saw the uptick in people using calm spirit following the addition of ultimate weapon, and decided "hm, the way to deal with this is to remove the screaming." no! this perks needs to be reworked differently! given a longer cooldown, something! it does way too much for just one perk!
DS buff isn't going to stop tunnelling. strong killers don't care if you stun them, and weaker survivors likely won't even have DS because it's licensed...waste of a buff. just as they should do with off the record, they need to spread out these important anti-tunnel strategies to general perks. it's so unfair that something this important be gated behind a DLC. and no one perk should ever be too strong!
also, I saw otz's commentary on the changes. I could not agree more that certain killers should be nerfed directly, rather than trying to just balance perks generally. not all killers interact with different perks the same... nurse, wesker, huntress, blight, etc do not care about a stun, even if it's increased in length. you need to change them & how their powers work in relation to stuns, so survivors have a chance to get away from them, rather than buffing the perk so that old man ghostface has an even worse time in this dogshit meta lmao.
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I did end up installing the Toddlers mod, and now we see the result! Baby Ro has become Toddler Ro!
The first thing he did with his newfound mobility was "bugwatch". I thought it was amusing that his bugwatching happened to be right where Frisbee the giant scorpion was walking, and I mean... Yeah, sure. A lot of people would consider her a bug. Entomophobic Zonovo does, at the very least.
Debby has decided to cause more drama with her polyamory trait, and Laurie has to pay for it. I wonder what will happen if Eva really does turn out to be a mime? That would definitely add drama to this story. Poor Brennan and Laurie, though.
We had an eventful raid with Eurros Pusmeberrus, a distant relative of Andrei and Andy's, coming to visit. We managed to capture her, but I don't know if we'll recruit her. She kind of sucks.
We also captured her friend, who was "unwaveringly loyal", but that was of little consequence as we had just finished building a subcore ripscanner. Doere was not a prisoner for very long.
Before Doere was ripscanned, Albina patched her up to avoid her bleeding out, and Henry tagged along to watch. I think the 'work watching' learning desire is my favourite one. Usually, it's cute to imagine a little kid trailing someone and bombarding them with questions about the jobs they're doing, but I'm not sure if it's quite as cute when it's watching someone operate on a prisoner.
Pacifist Vu started a social fight with Irwin, which resulted in her whole arm getting destroyed. Luckily Albina has the 'regrow limb' psycast, and hopefully, Vu will learn not to pick fights with people she has no hope of beating, no matter how empowered she feels wearing stolen liberated armour.
Then we got raided again by more people related to a colonist (and to prisoner Pusmeberrus, who in turn is related to Andrei and Andy). Fortunately, Hazrov is a crack shot and downed enough of them that the others turned tail and fled before they reached us. It made Wendy a bit sad, but I'm sure she'll get over it.
Finally, here's Andy being better at drawing dinosaurs than I could ever hope to be.
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it's so funny to think back of how so many people thought it was dumb that murders would happen over a doll in watanagashi/meakashi when as ever shion has been simmering for a long time and it's just the straw that broke the camel's back. yasu is the same. they said she murdered everyone because she just wanted a prince on a pony. "she just didn't want to study" we're in a time loop now. they're all just catalysts that people use to invalidate their victimhood.
satoko, shion and yasu are extremely similar in that they're all victims of abuse who interpret their complex trauma through the lens of their feelings for a specific person (rika, satoshi, battler).
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thinking about joshua and clive’s relationship
thinking about how much they still care for each other despite everything that happened, even though they’ve been separated for 18 years
thinking about clive swearing to protect joshua when they were kids, and then joshua becoming clive’s protector all these years later
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I’m thinking about Modern!AUs in fanfiction and why sometimes they’re some of my favorite fics and also sometimes the Worst™️. (<-that is a joke. There is no such thing as bad fanfiction, just fanfiction I don’t personally like.)
Because I LOVE Modern!AUs that ask interesting questions about how the setting of a story impacts the characters—how much of the setting can you remove while still being able to recognize the characters in question? All of it? None of it? What new problems would living in a world with planes and phones create for these characters? How are the social and political tensions of the original canon reflected in our own world?
The “problem” (again, not an actual problem, just a personal preference) is that most Modern!AUs COMPLETELY refuse to engage with any of that. They instead become a stale rehashing of the original canon except with lower stakes. Nothing about the modern setting adds interest, and everything interesting from the original setting falls away.
I think that a lot of people write Modern!AU fics to deescalate the conflict of the original canon and give the characters more relatable problems, which isn’t universally terrible, but it can so easily become boring. I don’t WANT to know what it would be like if one of these characters was a florist and the other was a tattoo artist; I want to know what would happen if you gave one of them a gun.
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Ohhhh we are going to Have A Problem at work tomorrow and it's basically entirely my fault!!!!
We are in the process of transferring to redacted software which I pushed for because it's the best option and our current one is as old as I am. I was under the impression that it did this one specific thing (in addition to all its core functions), turns out, it ONLY does that specific thing if 1) you pay a lot of extra money or 2) host it locally and not thru the manufacturer/company (not happening in this workplace given v limited IT resources). There is no other alternative program that maintains this level of functionality, at this price, with relatively little staff maintenance (aside from my position) (so really it's not ENTIRELY my fault, even had I not been mistaken, there isn't any feasible alternatives out there given the limitations put on budget and manpower)
So now it's like. Well. The core functionality is certainly there still, and tbh I don't think we even NEED this function, imo. It's not standard for literally ANYONE in the field, not the govt, not big unis, no one. There are work arounds, just less convenient and more time consuming. And REALLY it's not crucial, my boss only thinks it's crucial because she's very attached to this 20+ yr old system, and things here are done in a very, imo, slapdash manner, and not according to current best practice and strict procedure adherence. If we functioned like a proper archive and not Like This, doing touchy feely bullshit instead of like. Actual archival work. This wouldn't even be a problem.
AND ofc bc I'm computer literate and she is mostly not, I am going to be trying to explain all this in a way that is going to be difficult to get the bare concepts across, let alone what the actual issue is
Tomorrow morning is going to be. Interesting
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