Kanera + that circus AU of yours, please?
THANK YOU FOR THIS HAVE A DRABBLE FULL OF BRAINROT
There was very little that Kanan loved more than performing. The rush of adrenaline before he stepped out into the ring, the warmth of the flames swirling around him as he spat flame into the air and made it dance for the entrance audience. It held a magic like almost nothing else.
He loved it. And the one thing he loved more was watching Hera perform.
To be fair, he loved watching Hera even in the most mundane of circumstances— when she was making coffee, or helping him wash up after dinner, or looking after her psychotic horse. Even when they stayed up, late at night, coming up with ideas to save the circus that would never work in a thousand years, he found himself watching her. Her expressions, the way her brow furrowed and her fingers tapped against her coffee mug when she thought. The way her face softened in a very particular way when she talked with Ezra.
But when she performed… it was more than magic. It was transcendent, watching her gallop around the arena, performing tricks on the back of a speeding horse that made his heart skip a beat just to see. But more than anything, it was the smile she wore at the end. Not the one she gave the crowd, the dignified yet warm smile of Hera Syndulla, trick rider extraordinaire.
No, he meant the one that she gave him, the exhilarated grin that she shot his way as she led Chopper back to his stall. The smile that said, Did you see that? I did what no one thought I could do, what is supposed to be impossible.
Kanan had fallen in love with that smile, and he suspected he fell even deeper in love every time he saw it. Which was why he always stayed to watch Hera’s act, no matter what. Even when he couldn’t see any more, he stayed to watch.
Wild horses couldn’t drag him away.
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crazy how everything about mcd is so much more insane when you apply what i call the dog rule and that is when they are all dogs now in some way shape or form: an analysis.
when garroth is purebred, a hound made to serve, that does not know how to do anything but heel. he has purpose. he is sleek and well-groomed because he has to be, because he has always been tended to. a dog that falls into desperate spiral when that dynamic shifts - because who is he, without someone to follow, protect, love? a dog that becomes flea-bitten and hungry when he runs because he was never taught to take care of himself, to be his own master. he falls apart. he needs this, he knows, but what is he without someone to own him? a dog that cannot lead any kind of pack or family because it is afraid to understand the kind of animal it is if not in submission. if a parent, a teacher, he is promptly punished by his students as cruel reminder that he is not allowed to find joy in anything other than what his makers intended. a dog so desperate that it offers up its own leash to whoever will take it when things crumble - even if it means turning back to distasteful company. as long as it is held at all. time and time again, he tried to tend to the younger, weaker. he tried to feed them and lick their wounds - and time and time again, only to be mauled in turn. no more, he thinks. life was simpler when he was mindless, just four paws and a purpose. if that was what he was bred for, what business does he have pretending?
when laurance is a stray but made out of love. his coat shines thanks to the love of his family, his sister. he is sleek and well-groomed with them. the nether breaks him in, turns him a little wild. gives him cause to show teeth when threatened. when he bites, he mauls. there is something wicked in his animal eyes. he goes for the kill. when he bites, something in him wants it to hurt - whether his prey or himself, he can't tell. a part of the dog believes the suffering is natural because its maker declared it so. the pain wanes in and out like the cycle of the moon; life is unpredictable. he is braced to survive, sometimes with teeth already bared to expect the suffering. constantly on edge, pacing, waiting for the next disaster. a loyal, desperate pet that will follow to the ends of the earth - a desperation that borders on obsession. he will eat you alive, if only you would stay with him, inside of him, never leave him. never look at anyone else the way you would him. don't put him on a leash - let him choose who to lope after. his leash, in fact, is in tatters. he can't be collared. he merely follows, hungry at the heels of who fed him. his sense of duty is not of obligation but of love, a sacred need to stay at the side of those who treated him with kindness and them alone. and worse, he is burdened with the constant fear that if left untethered for too long, that obsession might turn carnal - that if wronged, he may not kill to eat and feel full, but kill merely to feel the blood on his teeth, just to feel the pain. feel something. anything. that he might enjoy the taste of his loved ones. maybe a leash is the right thing. maybe he needs to be caged. he can't bear either thought.
when they both bite the hand that fed them. when they bite each other. when they are dogs and kind of made for each other.
dante is a dog. aaron is a dog. aph is a dog. katelyn? oh you fucking guessed it. ivy. jeffory. zane. yeah. all of them are dogs. welcome to the dog rule fuckers its exactly how it sounds. are you sick of the word dog yet.
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"Finally, we have some alone time." Shanks sighed as he settled into the comfort of the expensive armchair, away from the intimidating presence of Crocodile and the judgemental eyes of Hawk Eye. It was a random decision, dropping by Cross Guild's headquarters. Of course he knew that two emperors meeting would draw the government's attention, but he couldn't bring himself to regret the spontaneous act as he stared at the lovely clown in front of him.
"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you."
"Huh?"
Buggy rolled his eyes at the red head's easily swayed attention. "I wouldn't be so sure that we are alone."
"... You think they're listening?" Shanks turned to the closed tent door in worry.
"No, I made them promise not to and they wouldn't break my trust like that. However... Croccy's really good at finding loopholes. I'm certain Daz is listening to us as we speak." He cleared his throat and raised his voice. "Daz? If you're there can you please knock twice on the door?"
Silence.
"Ugh, come on. If your boss can use loopholes so can I. Did he specifically say you had to be discreet?"
After a short moment, two small knocks were heard.
"Thank you!" Buggy turned back to Shanks, lowering his voice to fit the casual conversation they were having. "See?"
Shanks scoffed in disdain. "I can't believe he trusts you so little."
"He trusts me just fine. It's you he doesn't trust. Rightfully so, may I add."
Shanks' shoulders sagged at the formal speech. It's like there was a thick, invisible wall between them, and it hurt too much to bear.
"Buggy... Come to the Red Force with me. We can at least have some privacy there."
Buggy shook his head. "Absolutely not. As much as I would love to see Benn and Lucky Roux, it's not worth it."
Shanks could have made a joke about him not including Yasopp but he was too confused by the rest of the statement to do so. "What do you mean it's 'not worth it'? Too lazy to walk to the shore now?" He asked jokingly but the worry was evident in his voice nonetheless.
"Of course it's not that, idiot. I just don't want to be alone with you in your own turf."
The room was dead silent but Shanks could swear he could hear his heart shattering. "You trust me that little?"
The clown sighed, already tired from where the conversation was heading. "Shanks, this isn't about trust. It's about letting go of the past."
"So you do not miss me?"
Buggy lips tightened to a thin line.
"Because I miss you."
"Wrong thing to say with someone listening in..." Buggy mumbled under his breath. "Croccy will throw you off the island at this rate and even Mihawk won't be able to stop him."
Shanks' brow twitched at hearing the stupid nickname again, dropping from the bluette's lips so casually. "He respects you two that little?"
"No, he respects us that much. He cares, in his own, weird way. He's a good man."
Shanks smirked at the ridiculous answer. "A good man? You truly believe that? I can see your lips curling you know."
Buggy rolled his eyes. "He's a good man to the people that matter. He's good to me, Shanks. And neither of us are saints you know."
"Even so-"
"I have fame, money and power... But more importantly I have people who care about me to share it with." Buggy cut him off before he could get another word in. "People who protect me and help me when I need it but never push me. People who treat me like their equals. And for once in my life, I'm truly happy. And you're upset that you're not a part of that happiness. To that I say; move on, Shanks. I have, so should you."
"..."
"It's better for the both of us really."
Shanks bounced his leg up and down restlessly as his thoughts became cloudy. If anyone would have told him 25 years ago that him and Buggy would be where they are, so close yet so far from each other, Shanks would have never believed them.
He thought of a million things to say, questions to ask, to beg, but he could only bring himself to say one thing. "If that's your wish."
Shanks got up and turned around to leave, but Buggy spoke up last minute. "I do care for you, you know. I always have."
It wasn't a love confession, not really, but it was the closest thing to it that Shanks would ever get. "I know."
He didn't quite care how rude or embarrassing it was to avoid Mihawk's eyes as he boarded the Red Force to leave Karai Bari, he just did it because he knew the man would instantly know from one look what had just transpired between him and Buggy. And he didn't want to give him and Crocodile the privilege of knowing they won. They would still know, of course, but at least Shanks kept his pride (in his heart, at least).
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