#this film broke MEEEEE

[billy-crudup]

PAST LIVES 2023 | dir. Celine Song

[hushroomloser]

Chris Evans short story part 3

Pairing: ReaderxChrisEvans 

Request: Meeeee 

Prompt: “I’m sorry I thought you were somebody else”

Warning(s): I’m a first-time writer

Word count: 1253 words

A/N: Hey online strangers, I wrote the first part a while back and have the rest of the story in my drive but have never posted it. This story I wrote way back in 2019 :'(. I will be posting at random times if you stay and read it thank you so much. Enjoy xoxox - I have no idea how many parts this story and technically I haven’t an ending yet. 

~

And on cue, his phone rang, It was her. He was surprised, they broke up months ago. Why would she be calling him now? 

He wasn’t ready so he let it go to voice mail. He couldn’t concentrate anymore his mind was going into what-if mode. Those what-if thoughts somehow wondered off to the girl from the coffee shop. He would be lying to himself if he said that she didn’t make his heart skip a beat. The way she looked at him, it made him melt a little. He’s amazing at puppy love. 

Just when his thoughts were not consumed by Catherine, she called again. “She must want something important for her to call me”. Gazing at the phone he debated with himself, should he or shouldn’t he. Why would she even be calling at this time and after all these months? She broke it off and never looked back.

The evening sun cast shadows in his lovely one bedroom apartment. The production company had given him to option of staying at the hotel near the filming location but he had eyed this place months before. It had a beautiful fire place, next to it was a small dining room and the kitchen facing the the fire place. His room right down the hallway next to the front door. This was 110% better than any hotel room. It felt cozy, warm and a backyard for dodger. 

His aching heart was slowly growing in pain, he saw this place for them. His brows drew together, and in a frown of confusion and a little annoyance, he took a big bite of his casserole. Again, for the hundred times today, his thoughts wondered to the girl from the coffee shop. She was beautiful, and her smile. A smile that would make anything and anyone melt. The way she looked at him was out of this world, he knew that it was just starstruckness and shyness playing on that gaze but he was enchanted, truly enchanted. And he now hated himself again. For someone with a broken heart, he was amazing at falling for strangers every two seconds. Maybe that is why it never worked with her. He shook his head and headed to the shower. 

….. 

The morning came quickly, too quickly she thought. She couldn’t sleep. She had the unhealthy idea to go into a rabbit hole of videos and anything she could consume that was under 10 min. She wondered if she was starstruck or starting to get an unattainable crush on someone who was obviously out of her league. 

His beautiful eyes and his voice didn’t help, and remembering her awkwardness about the situation won the battle last night. She tossed and turned all night replaying the events in her head, thinking of better ways it could have turned out. She really was weird like that, she did need to work on that. Not be affected by the tiny things that did not matter but yet there she was cursing to the skies and all the gods above.  

She was what we may call not a morning person, which was the understatement of the year. The snooze queen. The why god? Why so early? The,  I rather sleep than do anything. The, my bed is my only true love ( other than Zeus obviously). 

Basically, SHE did not enjoy mornings and took her a solid hour to five to be able to leave this ghostly self that was her morning personality. However she loved routines, and she followed hers religiously. Wake up, Water with Sun, Play with pet, Bathroom, do Yoga or run, email with a smoothie, shower, get ready for the day, breakfast at a coffee place while finishing emails, and buy coffee for friends. 

Every morning, she would follow this, she did not know exactly why she had to do all these steps but some say it is healthy for you. Unless healthy means lack of intimate time with your bed then yes very healthy indeed. 

Her apartment was a modest and cozy thing, a Loft-style condo, it was a gem out of all gems. She really struck gold. She was living with Lizzy and her fiancee before finding this place, on a random Tuesday morning on her run she saw it. She got it the same day, in her sweaty workout clothes she stormed into her friend's room screaming that she found the best place ever. Industrial style with a twist of rustic. She had spent all weekend buying things for her new home, forcing Oliver and Lizzy to help.

When you entered through the main door, the spacious foyer had been converted into a cozy library-living room for guests. In front of the living room was a tiny space for her, her painting, her drawing, her wackiness just her. She decorated it in a way that it would fit all and everything she ever loved to do or will want to do. Left of her kid's playroom as Oliver called it was a big enough kitchen table where no one ate on. As much as she loved to cook for her friends, they all ended up eating on the couch and watching some random show or movie. Your mini office next to the kitchen had been redecorated to fit a very girly aesthetic. But ended up being a very unflattering unicorn barf of mitch match colours. Only one thing she could do; hide that disgusting wallpaper that she chose with books, plenty of books. 

She headed out the door ready to face a new day when arriving at her favourite coffee shop she decided or rather on a whim to go back to that shop she met him. She didn’t know why but she enjoyed their french vanilla a bit better. 

Wow! she thought, lying is not my strongest point I should probably work on that, mentally eye-rolling herself. 

She knew exactly why she went back there, even if her rational brain had been working overtime. He won’t be there, she thought. Why would he? He looked like he was in a rush. Why am I even going there? Pacing back in forth on the sidewalk. People started to give her the side eye.

She knew she was going to be late since the shop was further away from the hospital than her usual one. 

“Hey Iz, I will be like a few minutes late is that okay?”, her nose wrinkled at the thought of being late. And finding a good excuse to tell Lizzy. “… yeah something like that. Don’t worry I will have your usual order, yes thank you”, hanging up the phone, surprised at the fact that she did not question her about why she would be late. 

I mean I hate mornings but I make it a point to be early, thinking to herself. Unlike Lizzy, she would say better late than never to which I would always reply, I am surprised you are a working doctor, how in the world have they not fired you yet is surprising. 

Having now won the mental war, she was resolved, she was going to go. And like magic, her shaky legs started to walk in the direction of the coffee place. For the first time in what felt like forever her heart had taken control of her body. 

She put on her headphones, which will take her an extra ten minutes, she decided to take this beautiful and alone time and enjoy her morning commute. 

~

I thought I was on a roll welp not really I had to heavily edit this and all but please enjoy

Another meet cue is coming I am just trying to make it as natural as possible.

constructive criticism is very much appreciated, thank you.

xoxox

--------------

[luci-cunt]

Tell me about Magneto🤭

MAY YOU CAN’T SEE IT BUT IM KISSING YOU SO PASSIONATELY RIGHT NOW

Ok so listeeennnn tooooo meeeee, okokokok, so a while ago I went on this James McAvoy bender--don’t ask--and I saw he was in the X-Men movies, whic hi haven’t watched since the Wolverine movies/ Last Stand when I was like, actually a baby. So anyways I flipped them on thinking “yeah what could go wrong?” except I watched them in the wrong order

Anyways here’s an essay on why neither Erik or Prof X was right and the actual answer would be to compromise and these movies how how because they’re both too stubborn and couldn’t it destroyed their friendship and fucked everything up. 

Also the fact that X-Men: First Class is the best Villain origin story to ever cross the screen.

Ok so spoilers ahead for X-Men: Days of Future Past and X-Men: First Class

Now, it should be noted that I’m no an X-Men expert I just love these two movies. 

So for some context: First Class and Days of Future Past are both kind of prequels, except DoFP is a prequel-sequel?? becuase of time travel?? I’ll explain don’t worry. The point is, they take place in the past where all the characters are younger. James McAvoy plays Professor X (who I’ll just be calling X for this whole thing), Michael Fassbender plays Magneto (aka Erik), oh and Jennifer Lawrence plays Mystic--who will be appearing in this essay XDD. 

Alright so first of all have a plot summary: DoFP is about Wolverine getting sent back in time so he can convince a younger Prof X to stop Raven (aka Mystic) from getting caught by this guy Trask who then uses her DNA to create super weapons that irradiate all mutants. The current future Wolverine is in, he, prof X, Magneto, and a few other mutants are trying their best to survive but it’s a losing battle and their only hope is to literally change the past. 

This one takes place after the events of First Class, which I will now explain. 

So in First Class a younger Prof X and Magneto team up to find and recruit bb mutants to X’s school because the government wants to use Mutants to help fight the Russians (oh head this takes placee in the 1960′s right before the Cuban Missile Crisis). This is essentially a Magneto origin story and also--in my opinion--the best villain origin story to ever cross the screen. 

OK so now some details on our main characters: 

Magneto/ Erik Lehnsherr: a literal holocaust survivor who’s only goal in the begining of the story is hunting/ killing nazi’s, specifically one nazi who tortured him specifically and I will get into him later don’t worry. 

Professor X: super smart rich white boy with a heart of gold but also enough naivete to make a lamb look like a Stephen King character. 

Already you can see very stark differences between the two of them. Erik is set up as being a staunch pessimist while X is a vivid optimist, and that makes sense. X’s grown up sheltered and never wanting for anythign while Erik suffered a trainwreck of the greatest traumas in human existence hitting him over and over and over again from like age fucking 9. 

Ok also tehre’s J-Law’s character Raven, who is a mutant that can change her skin to look like anythign she wants it to but her actual form is blue/ scaly/ “not pretty” (bullshit but ok). She met X when she broke into his house one night to steal some food and then they became friends, their relationship will become important later but for now that’s all u need to know. 

ok so anyways, in the begining of First Class Erik is hunting + killing Nazi’s, specifically looking for this one called Schmidt because when Erik was little he and his family were carted away to a concentration camp where Schmidt witness Erik use his metal bending powers and decided to “train” him. aka physically/ mentally abuse him for years. The whole thing starts with Schmidt trying to get Erik to lift a metal coin with his mind, when he can’t (because he’s a child who didn’t even know he had his powers until literally hours ago) Schmidt puts his mother’s life on the line and when he still can’t Schmidt kills her. This sends Erik it’s a rage and he crushes some nazi heads but then Schmidt is still standing and mentions how “oh gotcha, so it’s rage and pain that’s the key to your powers huh?” anyways this tidbit and the coin will become important later trust me--

Meanwhile Prof X is graduating from Oxford/ generally being an idiot pretty boy. He’s a telepath who knows about his powers and has used them from an early age. He also wrote some big paper on mutants, which gets the attention of an FBI agent who witnesses the villains being mutants and wants his advice

However, the villains just so happen to be Schmidt, who’s going by “Shaw” now, so when X and the agents catch up to him Erik is already there and on a mission to murder his ass. Some bs happens, Erik tries to pull a submarine out of the water but can’t (T-T this will be important) and X jumps into the water to stop him because the mental stress is literally killing him. 

That’s how they meet. 

It’s important to note: up until this point, Erik didn’t know there were other mutants, so meeting X, who’s friends with Raven, is kind of a big deal for him. He and X become very fast friends and also have a very homoerotic montage where they become dads for a bunch of mutant teenagers, because they realize they can use X to track all these baby mutants, collect them, and train them so they don’t grow up fearing their powers. 

Anyways, the other thing about this is that now that Erik has this newfound group of people that are just like him, he’s opening up, and X is helping him realize he’s actually so much more powerful when he taps into happy memories rather than fueling himself on pain and rage. This scene always makes me sob oh my god--

Also, fellas--is it gay to “access the brightest cortex” of your homies memories and remind him that hate and pain are not good motivators before reminding him that he has good memories he can draw on and showing him that his life has not been entirely painful?

YEs, the answer is yes are u shitting me??

ok so anyways--something to note about this is that X and Erik are both very protective of all their new kids, but Erik is especially so. I’m going to be getting into this more but just tab thsi thought for later :)

Now, the plot’s kicking up a bit, because it’s at this point that Erik and X capture one of Shaw’s (aka the nazi’s) main lackies and they question her until she gives them the info that Shaw’s planning on using the Cuban Missile Crisis tensions to start a nuclear war to wipe out all humans so that only mutants survive in the new world. 

Obviously they want to stop him, but also, you can kind of tell that Erik is not totally against this plan, which only gets to be more later but that’s for later. 

Right now I wanna take a quick break to talk about Raven--aka Mystic, aka J-Law. She and X were childhood friends and she kind of clung to him because she doesn’t have family/ anyone she can really be herself around besides him. 

X insistently says throughout the movie he sees her as a sister, but it’s kinda obvious she’d be down to fuck. She has this big plotline where she keeps trying to get X to understand why it’s so frustrating for her to have to be using energy to look “human.” Because her natural form is the one with the blue skin. X doesn’t understand this because his power is easy to hide, it’s simple for him to just fake-human and have no one be any wiser, Raven, however, doesn’t have that luxury and when she tries to explain this to X it just flies over his head, insisting she hide her natural self to better fit in if that’s what she really wants. 

Queue Erik, who comes in as a king of self love. He’s pretty blunt about it, but his point is basically “you’re wasting energy by constantly pretending you’re something you’re not--stop” and she responds essentially with “yeah but then no one will like me” to which he responds “then make them.”  

Raven’s relationship with both the boys is used through both First Class and DoFP to really highlight their faults. X believes humans and mutants can coexist but he thinks we go about doign that by completely ignoring the pages of history of abuse mutants have suffered--and it’s mostly because he hasn’t experienced it. 

Erik on the other hand will do everything and anything he possibly can to protect his new family/ people, and in his head that means exterminating any and all threats. By the end of the movie--humans become one of those threats. 

The point of this whole ramble is that: they both represent utter opposites, BUT, X’s blind optimism and Erik’s blind pessimism are equally bad.

Ok so back to plot for a second to prove this. 

Shaw is revealed to be a mutant himself and he also has a helmet that can block telepathy. (yes it’s the magneto helmetjasjd;fkjaskl;dfjasldkj jsut wait).

His plan’s complicated but basically: he’s going to poke America and Russia until they pop and incite a nuclear war. And it works. The whole pre-climax of the film sees X, Erik, Raven, and the other mutants all working double time to stop Shaw’s plan (AND IT INVOLVES ERIK SUCCESSFULLY PULING A SUBMARINE OUT OF THE WATER!!! BECAUSE NOW HE’S USING HAPPINESS INSTEAD OF ANGER/ PAIN!!!). 

Anywho, they’re doing all this, but then some bullshit happens, the plane they’re on crashes oh and -- yeah there’s this part where Erik uses himself as a seatbelt for X it’s fantastic but anyways--

This is finally the climax of the film. 

Also possibly the greatest scene in film history in my humble opinion. 

Because listen--in order to stop Shaw they need the helmet off of him so that X can telepathically freeze his ass and they can arrest him or whatever. So they split up--Erik rushes into the wreckage to find Shaw and X stays behind ready to freeze the guy as soon as the helmet comes off but--

Well, vengence is just too tempting. 

So when Erik gets Shaws helmet off, X freezes the guy, and he’s ecstatic, at least until he realizes Erik plans on killing Shaw. 

He’s pleading with Erik because this is vengence and he can’t chose that but Erik just puts on the helmet and--taunts Shaw, pulling out the coin Shaw taunted him with all those years ago and in a mimickry of the game Shaw forced him to play as a child and killed his mother over--he slowly floats the coin at Shaws head, telling him “I’m going to count to ten, and all you have to do is move.” 

But he can’t--because X is holding him--and that’s the point, Erik wants him as helpless as he was, and X can’t let his hold on Shaw go because that would mean putting Erik in danger but he’s also in Shaws head so he feels the coin go through his head as though Erik was doing it to him and the fucking cinematography in this scene is so fuaksdjf;laksjd;fjasd;lkfjadsl;asdjf;ljL:DKJFL:SDKJFL:D KFUCKKKKK

This scene is cinematic perfection don’t fucking lOOK at me unless you agree.

T-T and then, it only gets worse, because now Erik’s finally finished his original purpose--killing the man who killed his mother and ruined his life--and now he’s got a new one, aka protecting his new family aka the mutants. 

AND HE’S ONLY PROVEN RIGHT THAT HUMANS ARE A THREAT BECAUSE THEY TURN AND TRY TO KILL ALL THE MUTANTS IN THE PLANE CRASH AND JSUT--

And so he stops all the missiles flying their way, and turns them around on the humans and X has to stop him but he’s not listening and the rawest fucking line in the whole movie comes when X says

“There’s hundreds of men on those ships--innocent men. They’re just following orders!” 

And Erik simply replies, “I’ve been at the mercy of men ‘just following orders’--never again.” 

And then he goes to blow up the shipsthen one of the other characters goes to shoot Erik and he deflects the bullet wtihout thinking right. into. X’s. back. 

Paralysing him. 

And just akjd;fjasdflkjasd;lfkj this scene speaks for itself

Listen just--akjdsf;ljasdlk jguys this movie has no right being this good.

And then the movie closes off with X and Erik literally begging one another to just see it their way--because they both want so badly to be on the same side but they’re too stubborn and they refuse to see compromise and just ajkdf;lja;sdkfja;sdljkfsadlkf

Ok I realize now that I barely talked about DoFP but this is already so long. The major things I was going to bring up was teh absolutely fantastic bitter exes energy that McAvoy and Fassbender bring to that movie it’s excellent but also the fact that X is literally the only person Erik goes out of his way not to kill despite standing directly in the way of Erik’s goal. 

Like, you remember my whole deal with Raven??? yeah that’s x10 in DoFP (which takes place quickly after this movie) yeah so her and Erik are close, and shown to be close, but the second he thinks she endangers his fam he literally 180′s so quick and tries to straight up murder her. 

BUT HE FUCKING BENDS THE BULLET AROUND X’s HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X!!!!!!!!!! WHO’S LITERALLY 100% AGAINST HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST

Ok, that’s all. By the way I don’t want to like, up your expecations too much because I actually kind of hate X-Men: First Class almost as much as I love it?? it’s very..... of it’s era, and cheesy, and dumb--but fucking magneto you guys holy SHIT

[meetmeatthecoda]

what is it that dembe can't forgive red for? for not telling liz his "secret"???? whyyyy dembeeeeeeeeee you guys have come so farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr don't do thisssssss my heart is brokennnnnn

I know, anon, I’m with you, that scene fucking broke meeeee!! 😭😭😭 I was a little confused too, tbh. I assumed Dembe meant that he couldn’t forgive Red for having to think about it?? Which didn’t really make sense because Red was so floored by the revelation and of course he needed time to think, honestly. And his conclusion & confession to Dembe was so precious and so sweet and I loved it so much. So, I’m a little confused too and you may be right!! I think Dembe will be back though, since he’s been seen filming/in other promo pics?? Right??? At least I fucking hope so, omg!!! And also somehow, Red blaming Liz for Dembe leaving??? I mean, we knew it wasn’t gonna end well between those 3 but Red did the right thing in the end SWEET BABY and I’m living for this angstttttttttttttt Anyway, this is nonsensical, I’m a hot fucking mess rn, but I feel you, anon! 😭 Hang in there, my friend! Much love! ❤️

[el-dibidibidorado1]

Untamed Pt.7

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x plus size MASTERLIST

A/n: sorry for the late update! I hope you guys had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

"Y/N?!"

Noooooo it's my day off! Pulling the blankets over my head and rolled over.

"Y/N?!" Noooooooo.

"Y/N!" Angrily I sit up and bring the blanket down. My eyes open and....... What the fuck? There is a Christmas tree in the middle of my room?! Oh my god there is a real pine tree in the middle of my room!

Slowly, I crawl out of my bed and sit In front of the tree. The smell filled my nose heavenly and the ornaments.......looked familiar. Except for this one, a turtle dove? My fingers softly touch the dove. Who put this here? All of this.

"Y/N" Mom and Ed open my door with scared and angry expressions.

"Someone broke i-" mom looked at the Christmas tree and looked back at me then back at the tree.

"Ta-ta da" I nervously say and extend my arms out.

"I don't know if I should ask how this got here?" Ed pointed at the tree.

"Good. Cause I don't know how either" they both came in and sat next to me looking at the tree. It's beautiful. Whoever placed it here is amazing. Creepy, but amazing.

"It smells amazing" all of us take a deep breath, taking in the wonderful smell. Who knows how long we sat there just looking at the tree.

"Who wants pancakes?" I asked.

"Me" Mom said touching the turtle dove

"This is new" I nod my head and take it down.

"Usually there is two. One for a friend and one to keep, but here we have one."

"Should we freak out about all of this?" Ed questioned. I feel like if I should, but I don't. Why? Why can't I freak out about this?

"Oooh these are nice!" I look at Ed playing with some sunglasses. The sunglasses! I forgot to give them to Bucky! Aw man!

"Take those off! They are a gift to someone!" I get up and take them off his huge head.

"WHO?" He asked childish, putting his hands to the side.

"Someone special" I place them in the desk.

"Well I'm going to make the pancakes, get ready we're going to grandma's" we all got up and went out separate ways. Getting my clothes ready I head to the shower. The marks are gone but now there is a scar left behind, make up will do.

With no care I put my music on and get in the shower. I have gone back to showering once a one or twice times a day and it is fine, still feel dirty, but I can't let it get to me.

I let the music take over me and begin singing while washing my hair.

~send you my love on a wire~

~lift you up every time~

~everyone oooooooooo~

The thought of someone breaking in kinda scared me, and the thought of someone placing it in my room while I was sleeping made it worst. Holy shit! I mean the tree is beautiful, but who could have put it in there it's super heavy, and so quietly too. Rosie and Caroline know that I wanted a really tree for Christmas! Them bitches will give me socks or something they dont want. They are out.

A real Christmas tree is all I wanted! But who did I also mentioned that I wanted one. Then the realization hit me like a bowling ball hitting a pin.

"BUCKY!" I yell and open my eyes making soap get in. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck that stings. I hurry and get the soap off and finish my shower in a speedy.

Quickly I dry my body and comb my hair. I should have known from the beginning that it was him. My stomach began to get butterflies as I thought about Bucky bringing a pine tree into my house quietly. He gave me a real Christmas tree for Christmas!

"Mom! I need to go somewhere can I get the car?!" I yelled running down the stairs.

"Is 12:37 we need to be at grandmas at 2" she was still making pancakes.

"I'll be back super duper fast!" She gave me her serious look. Come on, please.

"Please I need to go" I gave her my best puppy eyes. Fall for them, fall for them! She threw me the keys, happily I gave her a kiss and ran out. As i raced to Bucky's place I began trying to wrap the sunglasses. That's it! Is that all I am going to really give him! NO! I need to buy him something else! Should I just wait? Or give him the sunglasses?

"Nope! I'm waiting!" Getting out of the car I slip on ice but manage to get a hold of the car door. Getting myself together I go and knock on his door.

Knock knock knock!

I wait for 10 minutes but he doesn't answer. Ugh he's not home! I hit my head against the door. After a couple of seconds I get in the car and head straight home. What did I expect? he has family, duh. Getting home I literally flop myself on the couch.

"Where were you?" Ed asked me.

"Hukmmmmmm" my face was squished against the pillow.

"Huh?"

"I know who gave meee the tree!!!!" Shouted into the pillow. He sat next to me and put a hand on my back.

"His name is Bucky Barnes." He just hummed.

"Ed say something?"

"What do I say?"

"I dont know?! Something?!"

"Is he different?" I nod

"Is he like the other guys?" I shake my head

"Have you....you know?" I shake my head again. I lift my head and look at the destroyed artificial tree. A little chuckle escaped me thinking about Bucky just trying to get all the ornaments.

"How did you guys meet?"

"Work" I sit up trying to fix my hair. He didn't ask anything else. We ate and went to grandma's. We did the same thing over and over again, eat dinner, sit In front of the t.v. or look at the stupid fake tree, then open presents and asking where my boyfriend is, then we eat more. Same. Shit. Over. And. Over. Again.

--------------

"Hey Bucko" Tony sat next to me while drinking his spiked eggnog.

"Hey" he gave me one and I gladly drank it. Alcohol didn't affect Steve or I. Super solder serum.

"Ready for presents?" I nod my head and look at the tree. Damn, Tony goes all out! The thing is almost touching the ceiling.

"You know I didn't buy anything for you guys......i thought I wasn't going to come."

"Hey. Your presence is better than anything" he puts his head on my shoulder and finishes his eggnog.

"Tony what are you doing?" Nat asked amused.

"Don't ruin the moment!" Tony yelled and began digging into his pocket.

"Here take a picture. And post it on my Twitter account. Saying something nice" he put his head back on my shoulder and his hand on my chest like a couple.

"Smile honey"

"No" i deadpan.

"Come On sweetheart" I try moving away but he pulls me back down.

"COME ON. LOVE MEEEEE" I manage to get up and Tony falls to the floor getting a hold of my leg.

"3......2......1!" Nat takes the picture. She showed us the picture cracking up.

"Ohh Oh this is perfect" Tony let's me go and grabs his phone and process to upload the picture.

"Come and open presents!" Steve yells. Once we where all in the room Sam had a Santa hat while giving out the presents. Everyone got a bunch of presents! I got one but it didn't matter I felt good. Bunch of clothes and video games where scattered across the room it was amazing! It felt like home, I just missed someone.

"I know......Buck" Steve caught my attention from Peter teaching me how to use my new phone.

"Hm?" Both Steve and Tony give me a heavy box.

"This is from all of us." Tony said with a huge smile on his face. I began ripping the paper. Man, I felt so excited! I don't care if i just got two presents they ment something important. A record player!

"Look inside" clint said.

A bunch of old records that I enjoyed from the past. I got up and hugged Steve for the wonderful memory before war.

"Hey Bucko" I felt overwhelmed by the gift that a lump formed in my throat.

"There is something else Buck" I look at them and they had huge smiles.

"We might have gotten Tony to make you a mp3 player and put new music in there. It's the songs we think you might like. Some of our favorites too" Clint said as I open the small box inside the case.

"Thank you" I mumbled. I feel overwhelmed with comfort and care.

" Mr. Bucky sir are you crYING? " slowly I wipe my cheek. I guess I am. I try to hid the little tears but I guess I failed.

"I guess I am kid" I lightly chuckled and Peter gave me a bone crushing hug.

"DoN' t cRY" I...

"Peter..." can't...

"Peter........" breath..

"PeTER!!"

"Yes Mr.Stark?"

"Let him go. He can't breath!" Soon as he let go I felt myself take a large amount of air.

"Damn kid you got a strong hold" my voice came out raspy. Laughter filled the room.

---------

"Here we are Buck" Steve turned on the truck. He wanted to drive to my studio. 3 hour drive just talking and singing like old times.

"Thanks Steve and Sam"

"Yeah whatever. But next time can we hear music from this era! I wanna hear some Kanye West man!" Sam kept on blabbing and blabbing. Ignoring Sam I got out and walked to my door with my stuff.

"Hey" I whip my head to the side and see Y/n.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" I open the door and let her in first.

"Thanks. Umm I wanted to th-thank you for the tree. It's beautiful" her cheeks turned pink. "Welcome" I mumbled and placed my stuff on the bed.

"I got you something.." she gave me a Christmas bag. "It's not like your gift sadly. I wish I could give you something better" I open the bag and see the sunglasses that i wanted and a DVD movie. Dumbo.

"We can finally see the movie. If you want." She was nervous, I can tell. All I need is her presence, she made this Christmas better.

"Y/n, you watching the film with me will make my Christmas perfect"

Tags: @tnupsweetpie

[mini-pretzel]

alright dude yea EVERY NUMBER FOR SWEETHEART ASKS

… what have i signed up for?

//cracks knuckles

grab a juice box, grab a snack.

we’ll be here for a while. what have i gotten myself into

1. Talk about your first love. 

oh jesus. i actually recently found my old journal lol

from way back when. 2009 i think? i was 13 or some shit. jesus. ok. so my first love was actually over the internet.

yeah, i know. nowadays we’re spoiled with tinder n shit, but back in 2009, all we had was myspace and msn and i met this fucker on skype.

i was so ahead of my time.

anyway, it was october 25, 2009.

here’s a snippet from my journal entry:

well i met a guy on skype. he’s a month younger cause my b-day is on oct 14 and his is on nov 18. but i don’t mind it.

yoooo i was into younger guys even at 13, jfc hahhaa //kill me jk hmu

and then on the next page hahahhaa omg

december 2, 2009

well me and ___ are no longer together. well we never began. he broke my heart two times already. going in depression. please don’t bother. first love, ha!

omfg damn, two months. yeah, that lasted long. also old me: ur so dramatic lol

also i was a feisty lil fella, jeez.

2. What’s the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard in your opinion? 

this one

3. How’s your heart feeling right now?

a lil stressed. im like, hoping i can get through all of these questions without my computer crashing. pray 4 me.

4. What kind of self care is your favorite to do? 

ok, first thing to note, i fucking love self care. like, too much if im honest.

baths with bubbles and nice smelling scents, lotions, a face mask, taking my time with washing my face and hair and putting on the cutest clothes after. also snacks, always snacks.

when im feeling like spending money: massage. full body. best thing ever. i treat myself to it at least once a year for my b-day.

5. What’s your skincare routine? 

ok so i just got a new skincare line. it’s from nature republic. i have a cleanser, a toner and a moisturizer. it’s fairly simple (unlike 9 steps in korean ahhahha, but like i’ll probably get there in time) also i have a peel mask that smells like bananas that i put on twice a week to get rid of dead skin cells. oh and sometimes i do korean face masks, too.

6. How did you get to be so beautiful?

answered that q here

7. Do you have any stuffed animals?

NO! //hides them all away

8. Best trip you’ve ever been on?

thailand. my parents took me w/ them on their honeymoon.

lol idek why either. trust me.

i was just there for the swimming, riding elephants, getting food poisoning and downing two banana splits in one afternoon. good times.

9. Favorite thing about your room? 

i live in a jungle. but also in an art gallery cause my mom buys paintings online and resells them, but it’s become such a habit for her they are literally EVERYWHEREE I CANNOT.

also sorry mom i keep forgetting to water the GAZILLION plants THAT YOU HAVE MOVED INTO MY ROOM FOR SOME REASON. they’ll be dead by the time ur home. srry ilyyyyy.

also tae hmu if u want some paintings. i got way too many.

10. Opinion on love? 

dude. idk. i mean. it’s definitely not something one can describe easily or fully grasp.

im still waiting for my big love to come along, so like, we can talk about that when we get there.

otherwise, i’ll say this quote that i heard in a song:

give your heart, but keep your head.

11. Are you affectionate? 

with certain people. im weird.

with some people im like no, don’t touch me pls. i bite and scratch.

and with others you cannot get them out of my death love grip.

12. Who do you look up to? 

i look up to bts a lot. they’re doing a lot of good and they’re very respectable artists.

but i also look up to a lot of writers on here because i want to create worlds and writings like them. i won’t tag them cause rip them trying to find why i tagged them in this long ass post haha.

13. Favorite poet? 

@psycho-slytherin

lol sorry bae

ur gonna have to scroll to find out why i tagged u. and then go red and yell at me. hahah.

i also like silentium! by Fyodor Tyutchev

also everything by pushkin (esp ‘i loved you’ fuck that one gets me every time). seriously. that man isn’t called the golden poet in our country for nothing.

i actually don’t read a lot of poetry nowadays unless its my own or my friends’

but im open to recommendations

14. Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place?

answered here!

15. Do you play an instrument?

lol no. i was almost taught the piano (lol rip me, i wanna kill my younger lazy ass self) and i dabbled into learning the violin. but that’s like a whole story and a half hahahaha.

16. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?

i used to pencil draw, nothing special tho. a lot of naked ppl lol. butts n boobs were my fave. also pecks whoo.

17. Do you dance? What style of dance? 

i don’t! but i want to. i’ve been looking into dancing schools. i might do hip hop n stuff. see if i have the rhythm, i can’t tell from just jumping around my room lol

18. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology? 

im a libra yo. diplomatic and indecisive af.

i kinda do? there’s some sense there, but it’s too vague. i think ppl need to look into their charts to really grasp their character.

and for some it may not be true at all, so like. idk. we’re all just doing our best here.

19. Favorite old film? 

a russian film that i always watch over the new year. my mom would always joke that the new year doesn’t start till we watch it lol

the irony of fate

20. What’s your hairstyle? 

idk

u

tell

me

21. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?

cloudy but warm. so there’s not too much sun but u can enjoy a nice walk outside without getting rained on.

22. What upsets you most about the world? 

i only have two hands but there are so many cats and dogs. i cannot pet all of them.

23. Are you in love right now?

answered ;)

24. Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!

here u go

25. Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them! 

i don’t! but i wish i did i would shower them with my love.

but @the-trth-untold dogs are the cutest and @psycho-slytherin cats make my day. pls spam meeeee. also i love @paristae cat too.

26. Do you have a lucky number? 

yup. 22.

27. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash? 

i’ve never seen a fallen star, so no.

but i’ve wished on a fallen eyelash, always.

28. Do you believe emoji spells to work? 

emoji spells??

bruh i’ve never even heard of it till this ask wtf is that shit

bruh i mean if it works for ppl all power to them??? idk i never tried it

29. Do you believe in magic in general? 

i believe in magic tricks. but magic died for me when santa stopped existing.

30. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?

here

31. Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue? 

gorgeous colors. i quite like mauve pink and deep dark blue tho.

but baby blue looks amazing on some folks. oof.

32. What instrumental sound is your favorite? 

piano. always.

33. Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain? 

answered :)

34. Who makes you happy? 

bts and all of my mutuals

35. What makes you happy? 

sleep, food, music, writing, cuddles. and forehead kisses.

also more listed here

36. Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like? 

i live in a nice apartment. doesn’t have to be expensive, just nice and clean with wooden floors and spacious windows.

i have all the necessities that i need and im never lonely.

i have also touched countless hearts by my books and am able to live comfortably just from my works.

haha. you said ideal, right?

also have someone to spend it with. someone i’d write poetry about daily. a bestfriend first and foremost before a lover.

37. Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup?

answered this fella here

38. Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own? 

i used to have dresses. but not anymore.

i liked the long sleeve sweater black one i had with a low cut. it was gorgeous. i dont have much of boobage but i always felt like i was sexy in it.

39. Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it? 

yep. you just kind of take it one day at a time. some days will be better than the last. some days you’ll cry a little harder and some days you move on a little further. it takes time. make sure you have good people around you so you don’t fall into depression.

40. Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them? 

ah, to be honest i don’t have a closest friend. i’ve always been the kind of person that always had friends around her but never anyone too deep. and i kinda wish i did. i just don’t know who would come to fill that spot. people always leave, so i kind of gave up assigning that spot. i think the people that want to be in that spot will show themselves and tell me. otherwise i will not assume or assign.

41. Introvert or extrovert? 

introvert. but i have my moments. i can be charming and friendly when i want to.

42. Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI? 

i had to look it up cause i forgot what it was lol

i took the test a while back: im infp.

there’s not a lot of us, apparently. which is cool. shout out to all infps out there!

43. Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, or an angel? 

hmmm. what kind of fairy tho? lol

maybe vampire? idk i’d be a sexy immortal lady that’d bite innocent boys and girls that just want to have a good time lol

44. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you? 

this oneee

45. Parlez-vous français? 

no~

46. Most beautiful place you’ve been to? 

butchart gardens

47. Where/when do you truly feel at home? 

here

48. Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is gorgeous! 

kdjfalkfjdlkdsaf //hides

this ask is flirting with me…

well that’s as much action as im going to get this new years eve lol

49. Favorite shoe you own?

my sweet rose gold kicks, yo.

50. Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them? 

lol no. i cannot. and i do not. im not made for heels. im tall enough as it is.

51. Do you feel loved? 

every time i talk to my mutuals yes //cry

52. How do you express love to those you care about? 

by saying cute words and by clinging to them like a koala.

53. Favorite term(s) of endearment? 

sweetheart, dear, idk im just like anything honestly. love, baby. go crazy.

i also love mean terms like idiot and stuff. or nicknames that hold inside jokes, something between the two of you only.

54. Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you? 

hasn’t happened yet. so yeah. any takers? lol

55. When is the happiest you’ve ever been? 

reading a good book for the first time. or just experiencing something new that i end up loving for the first time. nothing can replace that first feeling.

56. Are you happy right now? 

happy im almost done hahhahahahaa. ha.

no but srsly i am

57. What makes you smile? 

stupid jokes. puns. someone laughing and showing themselves fully.

58. Do you laugh a lot? 

i mean. i think so? i try. i make jokes a lot and laugh at myself if that counts?

59. What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic? 

ughhhh comfy bf aestheticcc

60. Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)? 

i have a sour view on marriage. so only if i love someone hard enough. but even then i don’t know if i’ll do it. it hurts too much to think about marriage and wedding rings for me.

61. What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married? 

see above.

62. Favorite flower?

orchid.

63. Favorite artist?

claude monet.

64. Favorite music artist?

bts lol

no surprises there.

65. How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you? 

its not something for me to decide. i try to be kind to everyone, but how it is interpreted is different for everyone. i’d like to think i’m kind.

and yes, very important. especially being kind to yourself.

66. Ever made a playlist for someone? 

yes i have. i love making playlists for people. i don’t get asked that enough.

67. Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath? 

music. music always helps. and tea.

ideally i’d love for someone to massage my scalp, but hahah no one’s been able to do it the right way. when it’s done right i melt and forget about everything.

68. Early bird or night owl? 

night owl.

moonchild, lol

69. Morning routine? 

wake up, look in the mirror, look away from the mirror, go back to bed.

70. Night routine? 

SHOWER N NICE SMELLING LOTIONS. AND SKINCAREEEEEE OOOOF.

also fresh sheets.

71. What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion? 

answered here

72. Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after? 

i only cry when i watch or read something. and it does help. i always feel better after. but i tend to keep my emotions hidden away, the negative ones at least.

73. Do you like hugs? 

i love hugs. come hug me, bro.

u must smell nice tho.

74. When was the last time you kissed someone?

august.

75. Are you small or tall? 

tall. 175cm.

76. Do you like wholesome memes? 

answered

77. Favorite thing about the past? 

cd players. chia pet commercials. flip phones. mom jeans.

78. Do you ever wonder about the future? 

all the time. esp mine. i have no idea what the fuck im doing.

79. Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in? 

yep. i’ve lived in america and canada before. and traveled a lot.

80. Do you like plane flights? Airports? 

i don’t mind flying. and depends on the airport. some are better than others.

81. Sunrises or sunsets? 

sunrises. every day is a new day~

82. The beach or a forest? 

bitch- i mean beach. :)

83. What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood? 

any time i am eating. or sleeping. or reading.

im so close to being done omg. this is fun tho.

84. Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t? 

always. ain’t nobody gonna deal with that baggage lol

85. Favorite kind of tree? 

japanese maple tree

86. Do you care about the health of the Earth? 

i mean i don’t even care about my health that much tbh, i need to work on that.

87. What did you like most about your childhood, if anything? 

that i got to travel and learned english very young.

88. Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book? 

answered here

89. What are you most nostalgic for at the moment? 

old school disney

90. What’s your favorite personality trait you have? 

answered this bad boi here

91. List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance. 

eyes. have to work on my ass tho. squats baby.

92. When was the last time you truly felt calm, without much of anything to worry about? 

after a massage.

93. Do you worry a lot? 

eh, i worry enough, i suppose. there’s just some stuff you can’t control.

94. The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside?

dazzling lights of the city. especially in the evening. and in the winter. ahhhhh. someone hold my hand and walk with meeeeee.

95. Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason? 

no i haven’t had that pleasure, lol

maybe next year

96. Favorite pastry? 

BUTTER. CROISSANT.

97. Do you like doing little acts of kindness? 

yes. uwu

98. How’s your day/night going? 

well im finally done with this ask holy shit, and i need to resume writing my namjoon fic so… fantastic. i also have noodles. whoooo.

thank you for reading this whole damn mess of an ask.

ily

[tinysidestrashcaptain]

A (Semi) Regrettable Incident

The Loopy Logan fic I’ve been promising! I hope you all enjoy.

Pairings: I mean, it’s me. Did you seriously expect it to not be Logicality???

Warnings: Well, Logan’s feeling some anesthesia affects, so he’s acting a little like he’s drunk. If that bothers you, perhaps you’d best steer clear of this one. 

With Thomas getting his wisdom teeth removed, Virgil had been working overtime, and frankly he was exhausted. After the procedure was completed and Thomas was home safely, he sank back into the mindscape, ready for a long nap.

Virgil could honestly say he wasn’t really expecting anything when he sank into the commons, but if he HAD been expecting something...this would not have been it. Logan was clinging to a very flustered Patton, and Roman had his hands on his knees and was clearly gasping for air in between hysterical laughter.

“What’s going on here?”

“Oh, hey! Welcome back, kiddo! Poor Logan is just feeling the effects of the anesthesia, I’m afraid. He’ll be right as rain in no time, though.” Patton cheerfully reassured him, but the bright red dusting his cheeks was a dead giveaway that something was off.

“Rrrrrrright as rain??? W...whudduz that even MEAN, Pat??? Issss...it don’t make SENSE!!!” Logan slurred, still hugging the moral side tightly. He looked up, caught sight of Patton’s face, and a huge, dopey smile spread across his face.

“You’re so pretty, Pat. D-did I ever tell ya that?” Patton’s face was getting redder by the second, and Roman was wheezing now.

“Awww, you might have mentioned it once or twice, Teach! We really should get you to bed, though.”

“Ooooohhhhh, I’d go to bed wif you anytime!” The sly tone of voice made it instantly suggestive, and Virgil clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle the laugh that wanted to break free. Patton coughed, gently pulling Logan’s arms away and leaning back.

“We can revisit that when you’re sober, Teach, but right now maybe Roman or Virgil should help you?”

“Noooooo, dun want them!!! Don’t you looooooove meeeee?” Logan whined, latching back onto Patton, who had never looked more conflicted.

“Of course I do, Logan! I just think maybe I’m not the best person to help you right now. Here, why don’t you talk to Virgil? You were talking about space, remember?” Logan’s face lit up, and he finally relinquished his hold on the moral side, who breathed a sigh of relief.

“Vige...you...you know space, right?!” Virgil choked the laughter down. He shared a look with Roman, and the royal immediately got out his phone and started filming.

“Yeah, Logan, a little. Why don’t you tell me more though?”

“Okay, okay….okay….so….space is BIG!!! An’ there’ssss all thisss shit in it….oops...I-I shouldn’t say that. It’s...is not shit, like poop. It’s stuff. There’s sssstuff in it!” Logan was waving his hands enthusiastically, weaving in place a little. His glasses were slightly askew and his tie was hanging loose around his neck. His eyes were glassy and unfocused.

“What kind of stuff, Lo?”

“Ohhhhh allllll kindsa stuff! Like...there’s ssstars an’ moons an’ planets and black holes! But those’re...those aren’t things….they’re like...the...the...wazza word I’m lookin’ for???” Logan looked helplessly at Patton, who was giggling next to him.

“Absence?” Logan snapped his fingers, pointing at Patton so quickly he almost poked him in the face.

“YEAH!!! THASSA WORD!!! Ab...absynth of stuff….no, thasss not right…”

“Boy, Dad sure is smart, huh?” Virgil grinned when Logan immediately shifted his attention back to Patton and sighed dreamily.

“Course he is!!! P...Pat’s ALWAYS smart...jussss not as smart as me!”

“I don’t know, Lo...he���s pretty smart right now.”

“Pffffft! I’m….I’m allllllwayyyyssss smart!” Now Virgil couldn’t help the chuckles escaping every now and then. Oh god, this was hilarious. He glanced to his side and yup, Princey’s still recording. It was probably going to be shaky as hell with Roman laughing so hard, but still.

“Awww, of course you’re smart, Teach!” Patton said encouragingly, and Logan immediately beamed, which was such an unusual facial expression that it was almost like looking at two Pattons for one disconcerting moment.

“Mmmmma teacher! I...I gotta...find the class!” Logan tried to stand up, weaving unsteadily, and Patton shot to his feet, quickly grabbing his arm to hold him in place.

“Oh, no, sorry Logan. Class was cancelled today. You should probably go lie down, don’t you think?” Logan snickered, a smirk spreading across his face.

“Patton wants ta get me into beeeeeed!” It was said in a sing-song voice, and just when Virgil thought maybe Patton was going to blush himself to death, the moral side straightened his spine, a determined set to his jaw.

“Yes, I do. You need to go to bed, Logan. Right now.” Patton rarely broke out the Dad Voice, but when he did, it always worked. Except for this time, apparently, because Logan was too busy humming and wandering away to pay attention.

“Ssssabout time ya finally admitted it! OH MY GOD!!! ROMAN, LOOK!!!” Logan pointed excitedly out the window, and Roman stepped closer, still recording. This was too good.

“What’s going on, Logan?”

“Isssa bee!”

“Yeah, they’re out there sometimes, pal.”

“I’m….mmm your PAL?!” Logan stared at him, and Roman laughed at his stunned expression.

“Of course you are, Logan.”

“Oh...okay. Ro, look!!!”

“What are we looking at?”

“It’s...it’sssssa bee!!!”

“Okay, I’ve had enough of this. Roman, put the phone down. Virgil, go open Logan’s door.” Patton was still in Dad Mode, apparently, and both of them hurried to do as he asked. Patton crossed the room in four large strides, then grabbed Logan and scooped him up. The logical side squawked in indignation, but quickly settled into Patton’s arms with a dopey smile.

Patton carried him to his room, gently depositing him on the bed. Logan whined and tried to hold him there, but Patton gently pried his arms away. He smiled down at Logan, who gazed dreamily back. With a snap of his fingers, Logan was in his unicorn onesie.

“Oooohhhh….ssss kinky….” Logan mumbled. Patton rolled his eyes and carefully tucked the loopy side into bed.

“Go to sleep, Logan.”

“Love you, Pat…” That froze him in place for a minute, and Patton felt his heart skip a beat. He sighed a little when he heard Logan’s first soft snore. Out like a light, of course.

“Love you too, Logan.” Patton murmured, gently taking off his glasses and setting them on the side table. “Of course you’d say it for the first time when you’re drugged out of your mind. What am I going to do with you?”

In the doorway, Virgil silently glanced at Roman and gestured him down the hall. As soon as the door shut behind them, the hushed whispers started.

“HOLY SHIT--” Virgil whisper shouted, his sweater paws pressed up to his face.

“I KNOW!!!” Roman cut him off, his eyes wide.

“DID HE JUST--?”

“OH MY GOD HE DID!!!”

“Did you get it??? Please tell me you got it!”

“Oh yeah!” Roman pulled out his phone, and they both watched the video again. Logan’s sleepy confession was hilarious, but the heartbreaking expression on Patton’s face killed their laughter.

“Dad’s really gone on him, isn’t he?” Virgil chewed his nail nervously, his mind already coming up with all the different ways things could go wrong for the moral side. Roman snorted, putting his phone away.

“That’s an understatement...” Silence reigned between the two for a few moments, then Roman’s face lit up. He grabbed both of Virgil’s shoulders, a huge smile on his face.

“Oh my god, I have an idea, Surly McEmo!”

When Logan woke up the next day, his head felt a little fuzzy and there was a bitter taste in his mouth, but otherwise he felt normal. He tried to recall the events of the the previous afternoon, but he only got vague bits and pieces. He huffed, grabbing his glasses, then froze as he stared down at himself.

“Why am I wearing this?” Logan verbalized the thought, staring at his unicorn onesie. He didn’t sleep in this, ever. He had pajamas, which were much more comfortable and conducive to a good night’s rest. He quickly showered and changed into his usual attire. He was about to walk to the kitchen to drink some coffee and hopefully dispel the remaining fuzziness from his mind when an arm shot out from Roman’s room, quickly dragging him inside.

“What the--!”

“Shut up!” Virgil’s voice hissed at him, and he stopped struggling. The darker side released him, and he saw both him and Roman standing behind him.

“What is going on?!”

“You’re an idiot, that’s what’s going on. And Roman’s an even bigger idiot, but that’s not news to anybody.”

“HEY!” Virgil rolled his eyes at Roman’s affronted shout.

“Look, the anesthesia had you messed up yesterday, and you were all over Patton. Like...all over him. We all know you’re stupid in love with the guy, and he’s in love with you, so what is the goddamn problem?!”

“I...what?!” Logan was shocked, staring from Virgil’s irritated face to Roman’s sympathetic one.

“Better see for yourself, Professor.” Roman handed Logan his phone, and he played the video. He could feel his face flushing a deep scarlet as it went on, watching him make a fool of himself. At the end, when he confessed the secret he’d kept for so many years, he wanted to throw the phone away from himself, but watching Patton’s reaction gave him pause.

“I...I don’t...I…” Logan stuttered, looking hopelessly lost.

“I told you my plan was better!” Roman hissed.

“Shut up, your plan was ridiculous.” Virgil snapped back. “Look, Logan….you’re in love with Dad. He’s in love with you. You just saw actual video evidence. What is it going to take for you to sack up and do something about it?! The more you drag your feet, the more you hurt Dad, and I’m not having that.”

“...You know he’s not actually anybody’s--”

“Roman, if you finish that sentence I swear to god I’m going to go through all of your vintage Disney posters and on one of them, you won’t know which, I’m going to draw a dick. In permanent marker.” Roman’s outraged gasp was obnoxiously loud, but he stopped talking, so Virgil would let it slide.

“What do I do? What can I possibly say to him? I am his opposite in every way. I hurt him, often. I don’t mean to, it is never intentional, but it is also unlikely  to change given our natures. I am not what he needs, Virgil. He deserves someone who can make him happy.” Logan looked at the floor, utterly dejected.

“Oh, that is nonsense! Yes, you do hurt his feelings from time to time, but as you said, it is never intentional and often the result of your lack of understanding. Do you honestly think Patton would refuse to teach you about emotions? Being with him is the best decision you could possibly make. You would be a fool otherwise, and the last time I checked, you rather prided yourself on being clever. Just go tell him how you feel, sober this time. I promise that you won’t regret it.” Roman huffed, pointing towards the door. Logan blinked a few times, then hesitantly made his way back out to the hallway.

As he walked towards the kitchen he heard Roman’s voice behind him “My plan would have been SO much more fun!” and Virgil’s “Your plan was freaking insane, and involved rainbow glitter canons!” in response. He could not believe he was taking advice from those two, and he needed coffee before he did anything else.

He almost froze in place when he walked in and saw Patton happily making breakfast and humming to himself as he flitted from place to place. He silently observed the object of his affections for a moment, struck again by how much he truly cared for him. Patton was….everything. He had tried to bury his feelings, to ignore them, for so long that admitting them was daunting to say the least. Patton turned to grab something and yelped, dropping the spatula in his hand and clutching his chest.

“Jeez, Teach, you nearly scared the life out of me! How are you feeling today?” Patton’s smile might have passed for normal to anyone but Logan. He knew every expression on the moral side’s face, and this smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“I...I...ummm….” Logan stuttered, staring helplessly. Why was this so difficult?! Patton’s smile grew more genuine as he watched the logical side stammer. He really did love Logan so much. Logan blew out a deep breath and tried again.

“I...this is hard...I MEAN...NOT...WAIT…!” his eyes flew wide, his face flushing a deep red. Patton arched a brow, watching him flush and stammer.

“I’m sure you were last night, given how much you were trying to coax me into bed.” Patton’s smile was wicked, and Logan’s face felt like it was on fire. He inhaled deeply. He could do this, all he had to do was verbalize his feelings. It wasn’t that difficult.

“I you in love me with...goddammit….” Logan mentally facepalmed. Patton giggled, and Logan decided to cut his losses and walk away. He’d just turned to leave when he felt the moral side’s arms slip around his middle, pulling back into a soft embrace.

“I think you just tried to say you’re in love with me, and I love you too, Logy Bear.” Logan practically melted into a puddle at Patton’s soft voice in his ear, and a shy smile spread across his face. He turned in Patton’s arms, slowly putting his arms around the moral side’s neck.

“You seem to be struggling with words today, Lo, but I’ve got the perfect solution for that.” Patton beamed at him, then leaned down and glided his lips over Logan’s in a soft, teasing kiss. Logan blinked when they broke apart, then tried one last time.

“I...I love you, Patton. I am sorry it took a regrettable incident to finally tell you.” Patton chuckled, softly trailing nibbling kisses across his cheek and down his neck, and Logan felt his knees wobble dangerously.  

“Regrettable…?” Logan made a strangled sound in his throat at Patton’s mischievous purr.

“Semi-regrettable.” He quickly amended.

[Two Months Later]

Virgil stormed into the kitchen and fiercely pointed at a surprised Patton. 

“DAD, COME GET YOUR RIDICULOUS BOYFRIEND!”

“Viiiiiiirrrrggggiiiiillllll!!! Waaaaiiiit! I….I gotta tell ya…..about the beeeeeeees!” Logan called from the other room, clearly loopy again. Thomas had needed another round of anesthesia on a recent surgery, and while the others had known what was coming, they hadn’t expected it this fast.  

“If I have to hear another fact about bees I am flinging myself into the freaking void.” Virgil hissed, and Patton laughed before walking out to the living room.

“I want to hear all about the bees, Logy Bear!” Patton beamed, watching his boyfriend (who had his tie around his forehead and was currently weaving in place on the couch) light up.

“Beeeeeeeessssss!!! Paaaat, I loooooove you!!! You should….you’re like...the best bee. Cuz you’re mine.” Logan made grabby hands, and Patton sat down, allowing his boyfriend to cling to him like a koala bear and gleefully stroke his hair.

There was never a dull moment with loopy Logan, was there?

Tag List:

@acookiedragonblog @the-sides-of-patton @tree4life25 @penstarz96 @cefmua56 @cinquefoilelove @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @otpislife2002 @didsomeonesayprince @chemicallyimbalancedromance @pirate-patton @leesacrakon @sidewritings @cup-of-blue @a-valorous-choice @migraine-marathon @emphoenixcat @kittyboof8 @michealawithana @mdazzleyt @sanders-trash-4ever @getlostinthedark @shygirl4991 @analogicalisreal @puddalogical @sanders-sides-fic-archive

[221bshrlocked]

Better Than I Know Myself

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Words: 1125

Warnings: angst to fluff I guess!

A/N: Part two to Close as Strangers. as requested by a bunch of you :) Anon said it could be this song or another one. I felt like this was better. Let me know if you want to be tagged HERE or HERE.

You woke up to the sound of a knock on the door. More like a constant clicking of the ring and knocking. Standing up really slowly, you wiped the sleep from your eyes, and made your way to the door.

Of all the things you expected, Tom was the last of them.

You both stood there, saying nothing and not moving a single muscle. You couldn’t really tell what you were feeling at that moment. You haven’t spoken to him except last night when you fell asleep. It’s been weeks of missed calls except for last night when you decided to answer his calls.

The next moment went by so quickly, you could have sworn it never happened. Your hand reached up, slapping him across the cheek. When you realize what you’ve just done, you dared to look at him.

The look on his face broke you. He looked like he was rethinking everything. Maybe it was wrong of him to show up.

Your body moved without your permission, throwing your body at him in a hug. He dropped everything he was holding and wrapped his arms around you like his life depended on it.

Cold as ice And more bitter than a december Winter night That's how I treated you And I know that I I sometimes tend to lose my temper And I cross the line Yeah that's the truth

I know it gets hard sometimes But I could never Leave your side No matter what I say

You stood there at the doorstep, not wanting to let go of him, afraid that he would vanish from right in front of you.

He tried to pull back so he could at least look at you but you gave him no chance, your body shaking and your arms refusing to unbind from his neck.

“Baby I’m here. I’m home. Please..” He whispered, not knowing what he meant really.

You were crying.

And it was the worst feeling ever. To have you in his arms with you shaking from how hard you were crying.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry…” You kept on repeating it over and over, regretting the sudden burst of anger that shot through you upon seeing him.

Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now, But I really need you near me to Keep my mind off the edge If I wanted to leave I would have left by now But you're the only one that knows me Better than I know myself

“I deserved that..I did. Y/N I’m so sorry. Darlin I didn’t know. I should’ve known. There are no excuses for what I did. But I should’ve known.” He kept on patting your back, walking in the apartment so he could shut the door.

“Tom I’m sorry I didn’t mean...let me get you some ice.” Your face was bright red and you were about to get up when he grabbed your hand and pulled you to him again.

“I missed you. So fucking much. I’m sorry. They-Y/N they told me I would have a few days off every couple of weeks. I swear to you they did. But they…” He tried to explain but you cut him off, pulling him in another hug and apologizing for slapping him.

He chuckled at your words, telling you that he’d taken a beating before and this was nothing. But that didn’t excuse what you did.

All along I tried to pretend it didn't matter If I was alone But deep down I know If you were gone For even a day I wouldn't know which way to turn Cause I'm lost without you

I know it gets hard sometimes But I could never Leave your side No matter what I say

He was about to kiss you when you pulled away. Before he could misunderstand, you told him you just woke up and that you had morning breath but he didn’t care.

“I haven’t kissed you in months. I couldn’t care less right now about morning breath.” He said but you insisted. You got up almost immediately and ran to the bathroom, brushing your teeth and cleaning up before coming back.

Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now, But I really need you near me to Keep my mind off the edge If I wanted to leave I would have left by now But you're the only one that knows me Better than I know myself

I get kind of dark Let it go too far I can be obnoxious at times But try and see my heart Cause I need you now So don't let me down You're the only thing in this world I would die without

You never left your place on the couch the entire day. You were to invested in just being close to him, combing his hair, kissing his hand. Anything to tell yourself that he was here now.

“Baby I’m sorry for what I did. I promise I’ll only sign movies that let me take at least a day or two off between filming.” You nodded at his words, smiling at the fact that he was putting your relationship before his job.

“I’m sorry I never replied to your calls. I just couldn’t...Tom it broke me. I could hear your laugh, your groggy voice, your smile...but I couldn’t touch you or see you.”

“I was just afraid that it would be too much for me and I would...god I thought I was giving up on us. I’m so sorry.” You were whispering at this point, not wanting to make him feel worse.

Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now, But I really need you near me to Keep my mind off the edge If I wanted to leave I would have left by now But you're the only one that knows me Better than I know myself

Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now, But I really need you near me to Keep my mind off the edge If I wanted to leave I would have left by now But you're the only one that knows me Better than I know myself

“I know Y/N I know. But you wanna know how something. It never crossed my mind for a second that you’d give up on us. Not one second.” He kissed your forehead.

“How? How did you know?” You replied back, holding onto his hands.

“Because...you’re the only one that knows me better than I know myself.” He smiled and pecked your lips, thanking the heavens that he was right here, with you in his arms.

permanent tag list: @meganlane84 @mizzzpink @bringmetheemobands @kimistry27 @fireandicewillsuffice @vacam79 @amrita31199 @badassbaker @feelmyroarrrr @aekr @sexy-sea-basss @isaxhorror @actual-bucky-barnes-trash @cassandras-musings @mo320 @ssweet-empowerment @kapolisradomthoughts @queenmeplus1d @chameerah @purple-mango @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @bellejeunefillesansmerci @angryschnauzer @bladebarnes @huntermichelle @kristygeary @mrs-stan-barnes @jjlevin @retroasgardian @carailly @clean-and-claire @barnesvogue @also-known-as-me @seb-fucker-tucker @memory-of-a-goldfish @theonlyone-meeeee

tom holland tag list: @sanjariti @missphanosaur18 @vxodoo-dxll @paradise-in-a-chaotic-world @hollandatoms @empathiccally @sarcastiel-assbutt  @sixties-sexkitten @liziihorta @jubpajub7 @thisiswendy-runawaywithme @carolinariddle @maria96bvb @webslingerholland @hortonhearsahoeblr @crawlinginroadsuntraveled @vxodoo-dxll

[manmarziiyan]

Favorite Female Characters

Rules: Tag 10 of your favourite female characters from 10 fandoms and tag 10 followers.

Thank you to these lovelies @ilovefusion and @laadgovernorjalebis for tagging me!!! This list will be comprised of movie and TV characters, from Tellywood, Bollywood and Hollywood, in no particular order.

1. Staring this list off with my Queen, my saviour, my goddess of all things pure and badass, meri jeene ki wajah: Anika, sirf Anika. (Ishqbaaaz)

(please excuse how grainy this gif is ughhhhh, it was my first gifset, and I didn’t know how to even gif properly at the time)

2. Jane Sloan (The Bold Type)

My current obsession, I relate to her cluelessness regarding life in general so much. Plus TBD HAS BEEN RENEWED FOR 2 MORE SEASONS YASSSS!!!

3. Saba Taliyar Khan (Ae Dil Hai Mushkil)

If she was real, I would marry her in a heartbeat. Didn’t deserve the dard that she went through at all. (Also, Aishwarya fucking-goddess- Rai Bachchan did THAT!!!!!!)

4. Dhan Kaur (Angrej)

Ok so this gif isn’t from the film, its from the film Lahoriye, but she’s one of my ABSOLUTE fav Punjabi film characters. I fell in love with Sargun after watching the film.

5. Lajwanti (Lajwanti)

The BEST Punjabi Sikh character to ever exist in Tellywood, ever. Period. i will forever be salty that everyone slept on this show (You’re telling me NO ONE on Tumblr has seen this show???? Koi nahi??? No gifs either, looks like I’ll have to make a gifset for Lajwanti myself)

6. Chandramukhi (Devdas)

She can dance, sing, she slaps men who judge her based on her profession, befriends her sautan, ALL WHILE LOOKING LIKE A MFKN GODDESS? I stan. #ATrueFeministIcon

7. Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada (IPKKND)

A force of nature. A riot. An angel.

(SING IT WITH ME!!!!!: AAJ MAUSAM HAI SUHANA, KAPRE DHONE KA BAHANA, LA LA LA LA LA LA LA. KYA DHOOOoooOOOP NIKLI SUHANI, HO GAYI KAPRO KI SAFAYI LA LA LA LA LA LA LA)

8. Robin Scherbatsky (How I Met Your Mother)

A Canadian. (like meeeee!!!!!) Meri sabse favourite journalist/ commitment phobe and HELLOOO Robin Sparkles??????

9. Cat Valentine (Victorious)

This beautiful ball of sunshine!!!!! I remember being obsessed with her throughout the show, and I’ve been stanning Ariana ever since. Fun fact: I was Cat Valentine for Halloween once

10. Max Black (2 Broke Girls)

The most attractive pessimist/realist sarcastic goddess. I relate to this character the most tbvh.

Thank you for tagging me! I hereby tag, @eeterniityy, @chashmishh, @thisisafuturememory, @what-the-faraq, @life-is-reel-funny, @what-the-pyaar, @chahat-ke-safar, @paulfwesley, @surbhi-chandna, and @Iamyasachi

[tesscsanders-blog]

No Need

FREE WRITE AT DAWN IMAGINE A TWITTER PAGE KEPT BY GOD  THERE IS NO NEEED

God is without the kind of communication

that requires it. God’s voice is automatic and omnipresent it is rich truth below the other waves of sound. my gratitude is true. My aim is true and my high power is leading me where I am meant to go. I have known the difficulty of stringing words together.

How screenshots tell stories

How I search for TRAUMA

seek to define PORTENT

How the Lord is my light and my help, so whom shall I fear? How I get up and say “I’m ready”

I find proof and reminders of gratitude. I find encouragement humble and stoned. I find typos in wedding vows. Is this interesting content? Yes, Tess yes yes it is very interesting.

You are so beautiful.

HE WANTS ME TO SAY IT  remember the sun inside of me in Danville

I will have that sun again flowing up my vagina, that orgasm. The cellulite kissing dawn I saw the sun rise once and I lived to tell the tale  At the tail end is this exquisite dropping in,

how cool

the internet, how lucky, the living!

How blessed is my maker whom Phaedra prays for, too. The extent of my freedom is the extent to which I am willing to be not understood

Not understood  when I am not legible what happens?

This wrenching this wretched second-guessing and third helpings;  I have

belabored the metaphors of grief buffets

pretty sure I coined the term

grief buffet

is it a term of art?

a new business franchise?

People are ready for that kind of honesty, honestly, they are, even if they do not know it intellectually yet…. it’s all Grace, but especially the unbecoming

Am I doing this right? Yes. Less less less less more more more more more gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme some of that green sugar stuff it in there mmm mmmm ooohhh ohhhh deeper harder faster slower oh yeah just like that that’s right deeper this orgasm will save humanity this orgasm will right all of the wrongs mmmmm uhhhuh that’s the spot the redemption of all human kind right there, yup yeah yum yes that

In truth, the disgust is close to the surface. I am proud of who I am. Voice quaking like Tracy Chapman’s in the live recording of DONT GIVE UP with weird old Peter Gabriel

voice shaking

I think my friends are people. It scares me. I know my friends are human, it terrifies me.

Who are they? I have no idea! Humans as they are, they are foreign all the way. More alien than Foreigner mixed up in my psyche like the Greeks at the crux of breaking all of this up, are we? Once and for all

a free write to end all grief?

no thank you!

I know about waves and wires and tunnels and pummeling pummeling pummeling until I’m clenched in the womb. It doesn’t rhyme, but it’s my pain, it’s my loss, my potential my light to shine  BE KIND REWIND in my opinion not such a good film

when I realized ariana was following franky o the path of less resistance all-capsing the names of poems instead of italicizing

interrupting my flow state to call my sibling my unconscious mind wants their approval so bad wants simultaneously to dishonor their identity shout from the rooftops this isn’t about you sis this ain’t about you cuz it’s about me it’s about meeeee meeeee meeeee meeeeeeeee the way i am deep down convinced some nonbinary people are just flexing egos controversy the give and take of corn flakes replete i am afraid of that content i might delete THAT content

for sure deep sea fishing with sharks i’ve never been how imagination is procrastination a rose by any other name etc

My soul is thirsting for the living God; when shall I see him face to face?

a need greater than water a truth deeper than phishing a spam harder than rock He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone

i’m afraid of hurt feelings hurting feelings causing pain no you’re not, Tess, you have torn up too much to open Photo Booth now. don’t you dare do it. God

grant me the serenity

Once I tell God I won’t do something, I usually don’t do it. exit clause escape routes

pretty sure I didn’t coin the phrase escape valve and that it is a term of art, like the

wind carrier in tommy boy

i mean the

mail shoot

in tommy boy

the wind that blows his boat in the last scene

or is it the

pen

ultimate

scene

wherein tommy is on the water (shit i am gonna cry ) talking to his dad “I could use a little help”

son of a

that’s gonna leave a mark    

i want to leave

a mark            we all do

so badly so needily our fingers

pressed in every ink stamp the well has run so dry and then

though, all of these people i want to be are menstruating while i am not how hungry i am for my own blood  the manifestation of shakti who drinks from her own blood stream

opens her whole head up

this free write will not ‘save’ the world

this free write may even induce carpal tunnel

but i won’t be alone for it

SIC SIC SIC SIC SIC SIC SIC

we’re all so sick

so sick and so sick of the latest and worst and sick of being sick and tired  

la la la

it’s funny, not haha but haha

okay

sure

the way my mind chases its tail around i find myself sitting where i’ve been

cozying up to a mug from SEA WORLD

i have never been

the name elizabeth printed on it

I believe in the Resurrection. i can’t explain it to you and I don’t want to. I believe in the visitation of the angel Gabriel to Mary and I want so badly to be understood by one poet in particular. these minds these minds these minds  to whom I want to prostrate myself

SEE ME SEE ME PLEASE

It is enough, it is finished, I see you, Tessa I see you i see you baby i see you i see you you’re brilliant you are making so much sense you are making so much sense you don’t have to worry about publishing truths or falsehoods because that isn’t what you’re talking about here i relieve you this noose   | lifted |

this is not about political correctness an invention you hate and this is not about bigotry either because we both know you are not a bigot in any direction by any stretch

stretch

stretch

stretch mark of the imagination

cellulite dream we could be heros  just for one day

the need to justify when i said ego flex i meant

how precious our personhood is. when i am high and think only of how, deep down,

my pronouns are

she her he him his

how language  is nothing but everything  bang bang saxophone solo how your mind reading this does a different thing altogether how i bought a blanket 100% acrylic made in Ecuador how what other people think of me

nun of my business

none of my business that’s why I can’t let the right hand know what the left is doing. When I catch on is when the tail snakes back around

how i

felt like

Jessica was passing the torch of menses to me

how much shedding how much shedding

the baby voice,

sweet blessed infantilization of my poor old soul !!!!

{i mean it, Tess, you are flawed if you’re not free. oops that sunk in wrong i don’t blame you, jenny lewis

cat power I DONT BLAME YOU  my ex’s penis is still the sweetest penis that ever played inside my vagina}                                  alone together  a hashtag to build a dream on   give me a hashtag to build a dream on        i miss you God

not for sentimental reasons

but because being ripped from you is too easy to mistake for the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God

in other words, tracing my entrance back to your absence is not the work of my life is not the meat of being but it is easy to make the mistake of seeing the hole as the center when at the center is the Life itself

come on rude boy boy boy is you big enough

come on rude boy boy boy is you big enough

just now  already I nearly broke the no Photo Booth promise funny how quickly that happens EH

EH?

canadian bacon is a john candy film i have never seen    my adverbs of choice

holy

go

lightly

mmmmmm sweet sweet boredom the fear of ending is about the fear of dying? no, that’s not quite it. about the fear of being alone? yes! that’s it, that’s it.  traces back to the fundamental fallacy of Godlessness

of being separate it’s the whole platonic two halves bit

to have and to hold, till death do us part that’s the

traaaa   la la laaa laaaaaa

how can i trust myself without hyperlinks?

don’t let me be understood, God. just for today, grant me the serenity. Don’t let this be understood. Yes, I’m your angel. Yes, the reader does not need to know you’re thinking of a yoko ono song, that you’re worried about not attributing due credit to rihanna, that you have not looked at kim kardashian’s instagram since the

“pandemic”

“began” but that she showed up in your dream last night and that your sibling ‘got into’ with her, lightly, casually, cooly, wearing denim — my sibling was leaning in close to kim kardashian

AND SHE WAS

the tail of my mind is snaking back to ordinary complaints like

WHERE THE HECK ARE MY MISSING ALBUMS

1999

and

LITTLE CREATURES

they’re my favorite and they’re gone gone gone

how much of a new revelation

Janet Jackson’s song any time any place is to me

How inconsistency is at the heart of

not giving too many hoots

in certain contexts how meaning is relative how language is everything

nothing

how Jesus spoke in parables and contradictions how I never liked puzzles  literal ones    but how I walk around like I alone am meant to be solving the deepest puzzle of all

Reconciling myself back to the Source, i mean, to God Godself how a proliferation of healers come out of the woodwork into the email inbox offering discounts during this crisis and

who

am

I to judge?

There is one thing I ask of the Lord,

for this I long,

to live in the house of the Lord,

all the days of my life.

am i his temple? yes, no, maybe so, dawning on me is dish soap   sweet like the night inside

like the beginning of doing nothing

remaining alive. remaining human.

DONT JUST DO SOMETHING

SIT THERE

friends, i am still overwhelmed by your humanity. i find it so threatening, i can’t even begin to tell you. i don’t mean your mortality, moreso the fact that you’re just as deep

just as pulsing

just as curious just as in possession of some heart (human or not; shoutout to my girl elena with a porcine pulmonary valve) as i am

what that amounts is not fear of being not unique but rather that  the belonging we are called to is such a tall order such a tall order such a tall order  drive through window on foot people like memes

the readers in 3408 are like,

what’s a meme?

who can say if they will ‘google’ it?

I doubt the empire will rage that long …. the Empires on adderal the Empire fucking all millennia long on HARDON shoot i  am

not even trying

to be funny i can’t think of the name of that erection drug

i swear all that keeps coming up is PROZAC

leave it in the comments below, what’s that ED drug?  all my life