#this game is not the 'horniest game ever'

[butchvamp]

pisses me off that all the bg3 companions have inexplicable washboard abs. cowards

[kaitobromota]

ibuki posting

[blakbonnet]

BEFORE & AFTER COLOURING CHALLENGE! tagged by @edwards-teach and @rosettyller <3 thanks so much for tagging me in this! No pressure tags: @bizarrelittlemew @saltpepperbeard @kiwistede @jacobglaser @michaelsheens and whoever wants to do this!

I've noticed that gif stealing and reposting is back in full force recently, and I don't just mean twitter people who take gifs from here and repost them there. The tags are full of idiots (some malicious and others just dumb) sharing reposted gifs pretty damn brazenly rn. I didn't almost survive an aneurysm when someone said "what's the big deal, it only takes 5 mins" so lmao yeah. And when it's not that, it's people writing detailed meta who just save gifs and use them to make their point, no credit, of course. Write your metas and analysis, react to funny posts by adding a gif, but credit your gifmakers. You wouldn't like it if I were to straight up use your entire meta and copy paste it as a new post, would you? Literally begging y'all to practice common sense and decency.

[mrmurakumo]

I like to think that Fromsoft thought of all the pet and dog metaphors and what not because it fits Armored Core, in an hypercapitalist dystopia where the concept of morality is significantly outweighed by how much money you get based on how cool your warcrimes are, following the orders of big-dick corporations who openly hate each other.

But I also imagine that the guys at Fromsoft were somewhat aware because they thought 621 and the whole pet play thing was funny as fuck

[florwal]

[gaybroons]

Intrigued by #1 👀👀👀

omg I started writing this thing for @mxaether in late January and it’s been spiraling out of control ever since. I do not know where this monster of a fic is going 🤠 (but it IS going. Trust 🤝)

Here’s the plot:

Alpha Ovi. Alpha Sid. Omega flower.

In a world where pack dynamics dictate that alphas must dominate, that they exist to serve and provide for their pack, sid finds out that he just wants to be used. In literally every way possible.

Flower and ovi conspire to take advantage (in a horny way) <3

Listen idk how to explain it. There’s not a lot of plot going on here 😭

Anyway, snippet!!!

// tw: non-con fantasies //

Sid is happy being the alpha of his team, he is. he loves lavishing his omegas with attention and praise but—

Years ago, when Ovi smiled at him from across the face off dot, shark-like, and reeking of post-rut pheromones, he couldn’t think right.

Sid lost the face off.

And proceeded to lose his footing every time ovi pushed him against the boards.

Later, when he’s got a hand on his dick and another on his knot, he tells himself it’s the omegas layered below ovi’s scent. It must be. Otherwise he—he is—

——

Sidney sits, so, so still as tanger buries his face into Sid’s armpit. He groans, a satisfied sound as he holds sid in place and gets his hit of alpha pheromones for the day.

He’s a fussy omega, and while other alphas would be annoyed at his antics, sid had always loved to serve. It’s his duty, after all. And he knows about the importance of not fucking with tradition.

As it happens, the pens are full of fussy omegas, and geno’s too impatient to wait for tanger to finish his scenting. He leans down, doesn’t even need to ask sid to buckle his bucket for him, he knows by now.

It’s a little difficult to do it with one arm, but sid is nothing if not determined. He fixes it, tightens it, and the satisfaction blooms in his chest as he physically feels geno settle.

It’s the closest thing they’ll get to a collar, and sid wonders if he can use that to convince the team to start wearing neck guards.

Tanger bites at the side of his pec to protest Sid’s divided attention.

——

He’s more at peace with it the next time he sees Ovi.

Somehow, he’d always been able to read sid like a book. It’s almost as if he knows him more than he knows himself. He expects to be chirped about it but he’s prepared; he doesn’t doubt that Ovi's going to be vicious and cruel, he just wonders how far he’ll take it.

But the only thing he gets is a wink and a knowing smile. And that somehow riles him up even more.

It feels both inevitable and shocking when Ovi scents him like he’s an omega, when he swipes his sweaty glove all over his face. It’s a provocation, an invitation to fight to anyone with working eyes, and the rest of the match devolves into chaos.

But to sid— to sid it felt like a claim.

He holds his wrist up to his nose— he managed to swipe it across ovi’s scent gland, and for once he’s thankful that ovi refuses to wear blockers— as he slides down his dildo. It’s thick and heavy; Sid’s favorite. He loves how it fills him up, how the head brushes against his prostate everytime he takes it. He inhales and groans at the scent, unmistakably alpha, unmistakably ovi. The spice of it burns his nose, makes his eyes sting. It’s weak and faded, despite how careful he was washing off, and yet it’s good. It’s so fucking good. His dick leaks while he rides his dildo, imagining it to be ovi’s cock. He doesn’t think ovi will let him have his way, he’d probably push him off and scruff him enough to go limp. He almost comes to the thought of ovi’s mouth on his nape, teething at the soft vulnerable skin, to the thought of being pushed down and forced to take it. Forced to take another alpha’s knot.

Sid moans at the thought of being pinned down, manhandled. He’s going to resist, he has to, but just enough to get ovi to hold him tighter.

He licks at his wrist and clenches down as he comes, a whisper of ovi’s taste on his tongue. Ovi would like that, he thinks deliriously, he would. Any alpha would. He’d probably like it enough to pop a knot right in his hole.

And he… he’s probably not going to resist that.

[sugarflow]

so how are we feeling about the sex update

[pouroverpaloma]

Is this a safe place to admit that in my house we call it Bulging Gape 3

[the-heartlines]

*cracks knunckles*okay time to start rhaenyra’s pov of the ritualistic hunt au !

genuinely curious as to who y’all think will win? the slightly decrepit (aegon’s words, not mine) uncle who wants to be rhaenyra father figure (🎤 put your tiny hand in mine i will be the one who loves you till the end of time 🎶) or the older brother who’s been sober and celibate since his sister was born, waiting for the day he gets a chance to claim her for himself (hellfire plays obnoxiously from the emo boy’s rage room) ? whomst do we think 👀

[dirtyoldmanhole]

krad are you seriously considering your third revelation playthrough in less than three months (and the literal fifth fates playthrough in four)

....

.................................

listen ch25 rewrote my entire brain ok

edit: adds [write that scene as a fic oneshot but R rated] on the stack of gunter fics to do after this slowburn

>_>

<_<;;

[acerathia]

im so unwell,,,,, why was it like that ough

[that-fic-girl]

HAZBIN HOTEL X READER HC #1

Head canon: what it would be like to date them.

characters: Alastor, angel dust, husk, vox

disclaimer: everything i write about these characters might not be accurate to the actual story, please take everything in the fic with a grain of salt, none of this is canon!!

Alastor

he hasnt been in an actual relationship in a while so being close and vulnerable with someone is quite hard for him, especially as someone who associates emotions with weakness.

First off, its safe to say he adores the ground you walk on. He's in love with everything about you, your clothes, the smell of your hair, your sickly sweet voice. his loves it all.

If there was ever a problem you needed fixing, a person you needed taken care of or even a errand you needed to run he would tend to it himself. he would not let you lift a finger.

PDA is a iffy thing for him, he wouldnt do grand big gestures but maybe a hand on the hip or a few words of affirmation.

everyone in the pride ring quickly learned of yours and radio demon's relationship. And no one dared to mess with you, ofcourse there was people who wanted to test their luck but they would have to pay the price later.

his love language is definitely words of affirmation, he will sweet talk the shit out of you. At night when it's just you two in bed, he will have his hands stroking through your hair whilst you rant to him about your day and he'll reply with sweet nothings

"oh darling, i've missed you all evening"

"you looked ravishing today my dear.."

"mm your hair smells amazing, my love"

Angel Dust

Angel is one of, if not, the horniest mother fuckers out there but somehow, he manages to somewhat make a healthy relationship with someone.

you two are seen as "the bad bitch" couple. you're always out together, always getting into dumb shit together. You'll get yelled at by vaggie at early hours in the morning because the two of you where playing a childish game of tag in the hotel halls.

his love language is definitely physical touch, he'll have his arms slung around your waist almost all the time. Kisses are a MUST every 5 minutes, like this boy will NOT part from you. especially in the mornings when you have to leave for work;

"mmnnnnoooooooo...stayyy for five minutes pleasseeeee"

"but sweets..you're soooo warm"

"sweetheart please, you feel so comfy"

yeah good luck with that.

nights with him are VERY eventful, if it wasn't obvious. You two would usually be at it late hours into the night but sometimes, when you two where too exhausted to fuck like rabbits, he would be sprawled across your lap whilst you stroked his fur.

Husk

Despite his harsh tone and uncompromising demeanor, you understood that Husk wasn't trying to be malicious towards you. It was simply his way of communicating, and you knew that his behavior wasn't personal. Even though he could be abrasive at times, you loved him for his rough edges and authentic personality

You and Husk's time together was mostly spent at the bar. You didn't like to drink much, but you loved seeing him work and make cocktails like a pro. You didn't mind that it wasn't considered a typical date, because you liked spending time with him in whatever way he felt most comfortable.

Husk is not used to receiving compliments, as he didn't often receive them in his past life. When you complimented him, it caught him off guard and he was surprised. But he eventually learned to appreciate it, and it even made him feel a little sentimental.

Despite the difficulty, you were able to help Husk realize that you genuinely cared about him. He had been used to being surrounded by dishonesty and hypocrisy, but you were always sincere and real. He held you in high regard, as you were the only source of light in his life, and he didn't want to lose you.

vox

You were known as a strong and independent person who didn't need assistance from others. You knew how to stand up for yourself, despite being harsh and tough at times. Despite your exterior, no one was aware of the soft spot in your heart that Vox's affection and touch alone could melt away your severity.

He appreciated seeing your affectionate side, as it felt special and intimate, like a shared secret between the two of you. He knew you valued your privacy, and he respected it by never sharing photos or other details on social media. He didn't want to betray your trust.

You were often feared and respected when you were with Vox. People found it hard to believe that someone as intimidating as yourself could have a tender, caring side that was kept hidden from most. Vox was glad that he was the only one who got to see that side of you. He didn't want to share something so special and personal with anyone else.

Quite often, he would call you on the phone, knowing that sweet words could be just as effective as a kiss. He enjoyed hearing how your voice softened from its usual seriousness to a more affectionate tone. He was aware that when he said loving phrases to you, you would blush and smile shyly, and sometimes he even regretted not being able to witness it in person.

"i've missed you today babe.."

"mhm look at my pretty girl/boy!"

[screeching-bunny]

Hi! I was wondering if you could do the yandre!game show host with a himbo/bimbo reader

Yandere! Game Show Host x Bimbo/Himbo Reader Asks 1

Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Reader is Referred as ‘You’

Yandere! Game Show Host would absolutely adore you. He absolutely enjoys how there's absolutely not a single thought behind your eyes. He could literally be nonchalantly pulling up your clothes and you would be too dumb or preoccupied to notice him doing it. Would definitely make you wear provocative clothes all under the pretense of how it would be good for the viewer ratings and that this is just the policy of the company. Now get your ass in those tight little outfits before he explodes due to anticipation.

Yandere! Game Show Host likes how you are basically almost always dolled and glammed up no matter the time of day. He’d definitely feed into your shopaholic habits if you had any and would only allow you to get the skimpiest of clothes. There is probably a one hundred percent chance of you getting every single question wrong on the quizzes so he has to alter your answers for you.

Yandere! Game Show Host: “Okay now sweetie, what does blue and red make?”

You: “Uhhhhhh orange?”

Yandere! Game Show Host: “..... what's that you say? Purple? Why, that’s correct!!!”

You: “No I said–”

Yandere! Game Show Host: “Yep and I heard you say purple!!!!”

Other Contestants: Side-eying him

Viewers: *Too stunned to speak*

Yandere! Game Show Host is shoving his tongue down your throat the fastest chance he gets. Out of all of the yanderes he is definitely the most horniest. If you ever tell him that you want to pay him back for all he’s done for you, he’s immediately whipping his cock out, no questions asked. Just put those glossy lips right on there and all of your debt is immediately forgiven. He definitely makes sure to emphasize how sexually frustrated he is and how he would just loveeee it if someone were to give him the best sloppy toppy ever. Tries to convince you that if you don’t do it he might actually die.

Yandere! Game Show Host enjoys how easily distracted you get and how you have a hard time focusing on multiple things at once. If you ever tried to escape from him all he has to do is talk about how female hyenas have penises and you’d immediately forget what you were about to do. If he ever needed to fall asleep all he'd have to do is talk about the fall of Rome and you’d be out like a light.

Yandere! Game Show Host takes advantage of how you never fully process the dangerous situations you put yourself in. For example when it comes to the sleeping arrangement, contestants are put strictly in one room to be monitored 24/7 but you’d probably complain how you don’t want to sleep in a room with so many people in it. Yandere! Game Show Host would happily decide to offer for you to sleep with him in his bed which you would readily agree to. Next thing you know you’re stuck in bed with a creep who’s busy fondling you to sleep properly. He’d probably try to make this a regular thing and just force you to stay there every night from then on there.

—

You: “It was so nice of you to let me sleep in your bed that was so nice of you. It’s really weird though, you have such a big house but only one bedroom with one bed. You should probably start decorating your house better.”

Yandere! Game Show Host: “Yeah silly me I should really do better.”

You: “Wait a sec–” Notices how there's a piece of underwear that you lost a week ago peeking out of his drawer. “OH MY GOSH YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE!! YOU NOTICED HOW MY UNDERWEAR HAS GONE MISSING SO YOU GOT ME NEW PAIRS!!! HOW THOUGHTFUL OF YOU!!!”

Yandere! Game Show Host: sweating nervously. “... Yeah I noticed that too. You might not want to touch those though. They’re a little dirty because I haven’t washed them yet and accidentally spilled something on them yesterday–”

[lilmissnatcat24]

mass effect absolutely fucks so incredibly hard as a main fandom it's literally this group of 60 of the horniest people i've ever seen in the world churning out daily material from a game that like fifteen years old it's amazing. i've been on tumblr for a really long time and in a lot of different fandoms and none of them are as cool as mass effect fans. i love you mass effect fans.

[artdcnaldson]

ok remember when I said that last ask was the horniest thing I'd ever written? Well scratch that bc this is a new record. (Obligatory disclaimer if you don't like it feel free to delete/ignore it)

Imagine- if you will- tashi bringing you to one of arts games. And you're in a sweet little tennis dress and you sit next to her and watch art, not even paying attention to the game just taking in his form, the shine of sweat, the concentration on his face, the little grunts and moans. And obviously you start shifting around in your seat, because, what are you supposed to be??? Dry???? No! So, it's the last break and tashi takes you to the bathroom and makes you lean over so she can check on the situation, and your white panties are so wet they're basically see through (in an ideal world she would've banned you from wearing any just to torture you but unfortunately they're famous and with the press and everything it's too much of a risk 😞 ) and you're really hoping she'll help you out but she just goes "hmm" and takes you back to your seat. And the breaks not over, arts noticed that yall were gone and he's making eye contact with tashi and she just. Nods at him. And he's already winning but for the rest of the match he's on fire, practically wiping the floor with the other guy.

After it's over and he's won and done all the press and stuff, you ride back to their hotel, with tashi in the middle bc she's the only one who can be trusted to keep control of herself. You and art are practically vibrating, with desire and exhilaration respectively. So you get back to the hotel room and tashi tells art to go sit on the couch. Then finally, she gives you a little jerk of her chin and you scramble to put yourself over his knee bc you know that he's always antsy after a win but tashi will want to go over everything while it's as fresh as possible, so you just hang out there and let him play with your sopping cunt and ignore you, just feeling him hard against your stomach but satiated for now since he has something to do while he listens to tashis critiques. When she's done she'll give you further instructions and maybe reward you for good behavior.

(am I gonna become a smut writer this is kinda fun)

I’m so fucking obsessed. I’m on my knees. Anything to keep Artashi happy 😁🫵 just look at them

Rating: E(18+)

Warnings: SMUT (p in v, face sitting, fingering, mild mommy/daddy kink, mild dom/sub dynamics) that’s it that’s the story. Just porn without plot

your brain is just sooo fuzzy and mindless while art’s playing with you. The cute shorts you wore beneath the dress tugged to the side, his fingers stuffed inside of you, your own juices smeared down your thigh, spilling more with each slow thrust of his fingers. It could be a few minutes, or an hour. You just know that you lose yourself in the rise and fall of Tashi’s voice as she runs through her notes, in the warm pressure of Art’s thighs pressing against you.

You must’ve gotten too loud, because Tashi’s kneeling in front of you— holding your chin in her hand, forcing eye contact. “Baby, how’s Art supposed to focus when you’re acting like this, huh? Tomorrow’s match is important, he needs to hear this.”

You whine. Big mistake. Tashi meets Art’s gaze, makes a face you don’t understand. And then Art’s slipping his fingers from your warm, needy cunt. “Clean him up,” Tashi instructs.

You wrap your lips around his fingers, sucking on them, cleaning any evidence of your arousal off. You take them deeper, feeling the brush of his fingers at the back of his throat. You moan softly— Tashi grabs your hair and pulls you off.

“Do you have any critiques for Art?” She asks. You blink slowly. Critiques?? What was there to critique?? “You were at the game. Show Art that you were paying attention.”

You opened and closed your mouth a few times as you looked into Art’s eyes. God, he was so pretty. And then your eyes traveled down, and he was so hard in his shorts that it was tenting the fabric. You just wanted to mouth at him through them, make him feel good. “I— I don’t.”

Tashi sighed, almost disappointed, but not really. Tennis critiques weren’t what you were there for. “It’s a good thing you’re pretty.” She patted your thigh. “Go lay down on the bed.”

You obey so sweetly— hands by your sides, fisted in the duvet so you won’t be tempted to touch yourself. Your thighs rub together as you seek friction, need pulsing between your thighs, adding to the mess of wetness.

It’s five minutes (which you know, because you count) until Tashi and Art join you. Art’s down to the fucking obscene briefs Tashi makes him wear, straining against the fabric obscenely. And Tashi’s wearing fucking agent provocateur, so beautiful that you could die happy just at the sight of her.

“If you paid attention to the match, we would’ve been really sweet to you,” Tashi hums as she takes off your dress. The shorts are soaked so badly that she practically peels them away from your cunt. “But all you could think about was getting fucked, huh?”

You nod as she presses two fingers between your lips, pushing all the way until she hits the back of your throat and you gag around them. She stays like that, thrusting her fingers between your lips, smiling every time your eyes fill with unshed tears and your throat constricts. “It’s been a long day. Just let mommy and daddy use you.”

And you do, because that’s all you can really ask for. Tashi slips off her lingerie, putting on a show without even trying. She straddles your face, knees planted on either side of your head, and sinks onto your waiting mouth.

You moan at the taste of her on your tongue, hands eagerly grabbing at her ass to pull her closer. Usually she would scold you for being greedy, but it was the farthest thing from her mind while she was benefiting from said neediness. You eagerly alternated between lapping at her dripping center and giving her clit the attention it needs.

And then there’s Art. He pulls apart your thighs and pushes into the tight, wet heat waiting for him there. You moan against Tashi’s cunt as he sinks inch after inch after inch inside. He groans at the feeling of your pussy gripping him, pulling him in, in, in. His grip on your hips is so tight it feels bruising.

You lose yourself in the two of them— brain going fuzzy and empty. All you knew, all that mattered in the moment was Tashi, and Art, and how good you felt.

And Tashi’s moaning above you— relishing in your need to please. Even with her husband balls deep inside of you, even with your mind so fuzzy, you keep your attention divided so fairly. You were so fucking nice, she didn’t even have to take the reins— she just got to sit there and let you work her with your tongue.

You were in fucking heaven. Art wasn’t content just using— it feels better when you cum while he’s inside of you. He moves you like a pretty little doll, adjusting you just right. He puts your legs over his shoulders so he gets deeper, kissing your cervix with each deep thrust. His thumb presses against your clit, rubs in slow circles.

Tashi cums first— hips stuttering as she grinds against your face. You relish in it, licking at her center as she comes down, until the lightest brush against her clit makes her twitch with overstimulation. She moves off of you, kissing you with slow, sweet laps of her tongue. You give a shuddery gasp into her mouth.

“Is daddy making you feel good?” Her words are cooed against your ear. You nod wordlessly, only capable of pretty moans or needy whines. She turns her gaze to Art, who’s already close as is, without the attention of his fucking perfect wife.

“Close,” Art groans, meeting her gaze. Her lips turn into an amused smirk as she pushes his thumb off of your clit, and replaces it with her own lithe fingers.

Your back arches as she works you with her fingers, pulling you closer and closer to the edge. Art continues to fuck into you. Each thrust is accompanied by lead, near pornographic sounds— the squelch of your soaked cunt swallowing his cock, the slap of his balls against your ass, the fucked-out moans passing his lips.

Your climax overtakes you suddenly. Your back arches off the bed as you cum. Your pussy clenches around Art’s cock as he continues to fuck into you, and your release leaves an obscene, creamy ring around the base of him. Tashi’s lips are on yours, swallowing down the moans and cries falling from your lips as Art fucks you into overstimulation.

Art buries himself within you as he cums, spilling into you with a few shallow thrusts. You whine when he finally pulls out and some of cum dribbles out, making an even bigger mess of the duvet.

Tashi pets your hair sweetly, kisses your sweat-sticky forehead. Art leaves to grab a towel— you hear him dampening it in the fancy en-suite bathroom. “By the way, I thought you shouldn’t get to cum.”

Art laughs lightly as he returns, cleaning you up between your thighs. “I told her I’d throw the match tomorrow, it always works.” He kisses you deeply, and you moan against his mouth. God, he was a good kisser.

“I can always just stop believing you,” Tashi reminded him. “Maybe I was in a giving mood.” Art snorts, you meet her gaze through narrowed eyes.

She’s right where she belongs. Art’s head is on her shoulder, yours rests on her chest. You’re all just a tangle of sweaty limbs.

TASHI DUNCAN I WONT U SO BAD 😚🫵

Sorry to Art he truly is a racket and a dick in this fic

[hotsinglesmusic]

warframe is so weird because

You are always running into a thing you haven't tried out yet

"The sprimblaya is soo op! Its super boring to use, has a 10 minute reload time and stuns everyone in a 5 mile radius whenever i use it but damage number big so its meta"

"The three letters on this coaster have extreme lore implications"

Running into a glitch while in a squad and apologizing to each other about it

"look at my cool stalker fashionframe, I think it looks really cool" (it's just pitch black and violently saturated red)

Some random guy in region chat complaining about how he can't say words anymore, he will also use Grendel as shorthand for fat shaming seemingly unaware of what he's doing

Certain warframes/builds that can just completely change the game (Grendel, Speedva, Titania, Yareli, Zephyr)

Solaris United rank 5

Someone living out their entire game in character as their operator oc, making social media posts in character, extremely dedicated to saying everything in character. Their fashion also usually looks like a skyrim mod (sometimes they do it in third person and speak about their operator like it's their little virtual pet)

"look at my cool fashionframe, i did the newer thing but prime" (it's just white and violently yellow gold)

Some random person in relay chat offering blowjobs in exchange for an affinity blessing

Spending more time customizing shit/optimizing builds than you spend playing the game

"look at my cool fashionframe" (Their philosophy seems to be that every single customization slot needs to be filled by something or they will die)

Dropping into a lobby where two players frantically type brazilian portuguese/italian/etc in the chat and you don't understand the language but you understand enough to think that they might be making fun of you

Some random person in region chat saying the horniest shit imaginable

"look at my cool fashionframe" (it actually looks insanely good except the item they used is something you simply cannot get even if you wanted to pay $40000 for it)

Playing the most immersive, best quest ever only to find out that you are physically incapable of beating the archons and you have to teach your little brother how to play warframe just to finish the quest

I can go on and I will