#this girl yhat im dating

[foolishjellyfish]

Feelin like i keep saying the Wrong Thing lately and its so exhausting??? How do I keep saying shit that’s so badly articulated that the meaning I communicate is just Not what the original intention is...

[cauldroncreations]

girl at work is trying very hard to start drama w me and can i just say. i hate other teenagers very very much

[maskedjoker]

We are getting really close to the scene in lost fragment of snow that was genuinely confusing in the book, and it's the scene were everyone in the circus is killed. I think what we will probably get is a scene were mana finally ends up giving into despair after he is hit and then allen is fed to a lion.

I think that with more current info, i can say for sure that sleeve earl and mana are a hybird. This will likely cause a resurgence of sleeve earl into taking over the body and becoming whole. This only lasts for a short time however and when cross confronts him after the rest of the circus has died from the audience turning into akuma(which i suppose are implied to be constantly just around the earl and is probably one of the many reasons cross warned Allen to stay away) some exchange of words or damage causes a lots of control. This damage however also hurts mana(or potentially just being forced out off control) causing him to loose even more memories as seen when mana and Allen reunite the next day.

Now i think we can agree that sleeve earl exists as a third entity, especially since her recent art exhibit interview, as she talked about the suit being a super sophisticated golem. I think in this case as with tim and lero yhat "golem" refers to AI. Id argue with the weird phrasing like helix of life and all the biotech style that magic is more often than not just more advanced technology, and wherever the noahs came from likely was, hence why they say they only seem strong because we have become so weak. This is only further shown with innocences resemblance to machines like its gear like parts and percentage resonance.

The noah memories in general i think are some kind of AI that passes through generation lines, carrying significant portions of its past forward and then fusing with a similar person in their lineage. For example early on road would have been just road, then through some means either became an AI(or was given a piece of someone that counts as one under golem, its unclear). Regardless once connected to the noah memory, it acts like a save file and becomes more sophisticated with time. It carries each life and gives all those memories, feelings and drives to a new body. So new road would remember being road, her life and everything, but also the life they had been living up until the two combined. Over time the noah memory keeps getting larger and larger to the point new experiences are so small, relatively speaking, that it overrides much more than normal. Since they are fuzed as one being they likely cant be separated without mutually assured destruction, were the current entity will die and any remains will not be the origionals, if anything remains at all. An example of this is that tyki could not be made human by Allen I their fight i the arc, despite having a blade that should destroy only part of him. Admittedly tyki is a special case though, and more tyki backstory is needed.

Changes from body to body become more subtle, but the base, which likely has a distinct core function as seen by its response to certain tasks and ideas, remains a strong aspect. This creates an almost reincarnation like effect for them, needing to only find a new body to continue.

The suit is like this, but different. I don't know how the original earl split, but i do think that some aspect of him was placed on the suit. I would like to say its the original version of the noah memories of the earl and nea got like a brand new copy, but i actually have no idea what memories he has of being past earl so its mostly a guess. Regardless the noah actually all seem to transform in some way when they get mega pissed. Im looking at you skinn, jasdevi, and tyki/joyd. So the suit is likely that kind of thing, but way more distinct and capable of acting autonomously. Since they all have different forms it makes sense that his would also be unique. They all probably represent some inner desire related to their memory. Skinn is just rage so big angry man works fine. Jasdero and devit are bonds so they want most to be one. Tyki got all fucked up before he changed so i got nothing, but it had a heavy does of sadism, which I guess is pleasure? Taking into account that killing in horrible graphic ways is his guilty pleasure it kinda makes sense.

So because of that, this sentient AI is constantly trying to pair with half a fucking brain because nea and mana only share one brain cell. Some kind of resistance from mana or strain causes him to constantly fall ill or comatose. Now to be clear on naming, sleeve earl does not refer to themselves as adam in the mirror scene nor does he refer to mana as adam, and only uses "we" when talking to mana about being the earl. Oddly enough the earls self pronouns are we, using wagashi which is kind of like the japanese equivalent of the royal we used in europe for the entirety of the series. For the record, mana in the flashbacks uses male or single they pronouns, i don't remember if he uses boku or watashi, but he uses at least one if not both.

So from this it seems millennium earl is a title, used by whatever is paired with the suit. Adam is the original name of the noah, and is the preferred name of the current earl aside from the title.

This circumstance was likely caused by the rest of the noah, who are using the earl for something related by the pillar. His separation either by accident or by intent was likely by the hands of his family trying to keep control for their ends. This is why the current earl is called a broken puppet and has so many things around him related to acting and stage plays. He is playing a role, the red clown to allens white clown as stated in the ark arc. He even wears a mask. His memories and mind have been damaged though, therefore broken. However broken puppet for both allen and the earl could also refer to a puppet that doesnt work as a double meaning, implying they can no longer be controlled or puppeted.

It is also implied that he is still unaware of this betrayal, but it is likely nea does to some degree as it would explain why he became a traitor and killed his own family. To be clear, i dont think all of the noah know everything, and i dont think they dont actually care for the earl. It seems they still genuinely follow him to their death and see him as one of their own, especially in cases like road, tyki and wisely.

Now early i said that different generations of noah would cope woth reincarnating differently. Since the earl only died once before 7000 years ago, id say resetting to a new body with only 17 years would be just smashed flat by any algorithm with that much data. However manas feelings are still the newest, and so still have an impact even on the current earl.

Now we come to resurrecting mana. How? Why? Well i dont know. But my guess is whatever part was the memories of mana for the 20 or so years he lived, or at least his memories at death, are in allen. His curse and weird hallucinations of mana seem to suggest it. Alternatively that part of his soul may have passed on, or it fuzed with the noah memory making the origional mana part of the hive and much like tyki and his noah memories cannot be seperated. Not good regardless.

As two additional things, i want to mention that hoshino is a twin and has always been obsessed with it, so having twins in her book was inevitable. What is extra weird is hoshino was actually going to be a triplet, but either her or her sister absorbed it before birth. She has mentioned it in dgm interviews and i cant PROVE it translates to anything in the plot but its suspicious. She also still list mana, nea and the earl as distinct in every book up to date in extra novels and at the start of her books. Oh and her favorite hat for the earl right now? The one featured on the most recent chapter? Has two faces on the front that are visible, and one in the back thats hidden, and the most recent art has the back face as the only one visible, angrily staring allen down. Great art foreshadowing if im right. Its also usually sleeve earl, if not exclusively, that wear it.

The second thing is mana talking about love and drive in the most recent chapter just brings up the earl having the noah memory of love or devotion or something for me. Ive written about it before but it just seems to fit. This character is all about that from the ability to fuze loved ones together to the hearts he talks with and his drives being based on grand acts of devotion, being by their side etc. Mana also loved and adopted both and dog and a homeless child and keeps talking about how the world is so beautiful despite all the bad. The earl literally acts like the whole noah clans mom by his own words and cooks for them, and both of them go out of their way to be cartoony to break tension. The earl literally goes and buys a single red rose from a poor girl while tyki pontificate on how he doesnt act like a villain. He doesnt take an umbrella because he wants to feel the rain. He talks about how what he does is in human nature and requires a connection between two people. He is even designed with his ideal colors as red and purple with white, as well as being designed after flowers. I know this probably doesnt make sense, but its stuck in my head.

[rjalker]

How did you figure out you were aro-ace? (I'm sorry if this is an invasive question.)

Oh no it's fine!

I've known literally since I can remember that I didn't like boys and I didn't like girls. Just completely disinterested in both of them. Other girls would point at a boy and squee, "isn't he soooo cuute???" And I'd just be like,,,, "uhh....sure?" Because I didn't want to be rude, but I also did not see what they were talking about.

Like, I've never gotten a crush on anyone, I've never wanted to kiss or hold hands or date or GODS FORBID do anything else. In general I just don't like other people touching me/touching other people (I don't even like hugging my grandparents) so I just never...wanted to do any of that stuff? Or understood the appeal.

Like, I don't even like sitting too close to people on a couch or something. I have a very big personal space bubble.

So ice never been attracted to people (and to be absolutely 100% honest I don't even understand sexual attraction AT ALL. Like every now and then I'll think I have it figured out but then an allo will say something and in like. Welp. That flew out the window) and I've never wanted to date or hold hands ect

Probably the first time I recognized that I was different from other kids was the first time a boy (In seriousness, not trying to play a prank) asked me If I would be his girlfriend.

I...thibk I wa ten or so? And he was probably the same. He said I was pretty, and that he really like me, and he wanted to know if I would go out with him. And I was just baffled. I told him gently that I had to say no because I didn't see him that way, and he was disappointed, but he accepted my no.

Like, he was a nice kid. He'd never been mean to me or anyone else that is seen. He was probably considered to be cute by people who actually experience attraction. But I barely knew him, we were barely even acquaintances let alone friends, and even though he really liked me, I didn't like him back.

And like I just. Didn't understand why he would be asking me out when he barely knew me based on the sole fact that he thought I was pretty.

I've had several more boys (and one adult creeper fuck, and one girl) ask me out. The girl was my friend at the time and honestly? When she asked me out?

I just felt betrayed. Because up until that point she had also said that she was aro ace and didn't want to date or any th ing like that. And then she asked me out.

And when she asked me out I spent one second considering what it would be like. Holding hands, kissing, and more, and every thing in my being recoiled. I knew that if I said yes it would make me miserable. Like, every bone in my body said that saying yes would be horrible beyond belief.

All I have ever wanted is friends. I don't want a boyfriend or a girlfriend or an enbyfriend, I don't want to get married.

I've known since forever yhat I didn't like anyone the way they seemed to like ea characters other.

I once had to do an essay in English class to describe my perfect spouse and I figured, well I don't like boys or girls so I'll just describe my perfect spouse with a neutral 'they'. The teacher first reprimanded me foe using they as a pronoun and insisted I change it to male, which she said was gender neutral (even back then I stared at her like ???? When she said that) and then when I refused to change it she gave me a C.

So it wasn't so much I figured out that I was aro/ace So much as I learned that words that described me existed.

Im aro/ace simply because I've never been interesting in dating or kissing and the thought of sex just repulses me completely.

This is a long and rambly post but

It's really freaking important that we educate kids about asexualiry and aromantisicm because

I knew I didn't like other people like they did

I knew that

But I thought that that meant there was something wrong with me.

Because in health class, they always talked about hormones. Hormones were what made us go through puberty, caused our bodies to change, and hormones were whay made us (apparently) want to kiss eachother and do other unmentionable things together.

And I never wanted to kiss anyone. I never thought the boys my friends were freaking over were cute. I can tell if someone is pretty, but I just...it just means they're pretty. Like a painting is pretty. It doesn't affect me in anyway.

Hormones, I was told, were what made everyone freak out over boys.

And I didn't freak out over boys. I didn't want to kiss them. And I didn't want to kiss girls either.

So, clesrly, because there was no other thing for me to think that meant there was something wrong with my hormones.

I though it meant that there was something wrong with me.

Because if hormones = attraction and o didn't feel attraction, that meant there was something wrong with mem

And that's how a lot of a-spec people feel before they find out that asexuality is a thing. Aromantisicm is a thing.

There are words for the way they feel.

There are other people who experience the same thing.

You know the one thing I had as a kid that I could identify with? The one thing I ever had that made me go, hey! That's like me!

The myth of Artemis.

Artemis was literally the only thing I ever saw that I could relate to. Every book I read reiterated that she never took a lover and never got married and had no children. She was the Virgin goddess, and not because she was ugly or mean. But because she just...didnt date.

All she did was hang put with her friends and have fun hunting.

Like I said I'm rambling but seriously. If someonebhad just told me as a kid that being aro ace was a thing, I wouldn't have spent years thinking there was something wrong with me.

Exclusionists like to pretend kids don't have any kind of sexuality until they literally start having sex, and they're purposefully ignoring the fact that gay girls get crushes on girls and straight girls get crushes on boys LONG before thoughts of sex ever enter their minds.

My mom told me I was too young to understand how I felt when I tried to explain to her (at what? 17? Maybe? Idk) what asexual meant.

I asked her how old she was when she realized she liked boys. She refused to answer, because she knew she'd be proving herself wrong.

Tldr I've always known I didn't like boys girls or abyt ing inbetween, and figuring out my sexuality was as simple as learning that the words I'd been looking for existed.

Oh and as always, feel free to reblog!

[jacobey-blog]

The world has been holding me away from finding love my whole life. This is literally no Joke! Everyone I've asked a girl out someone has intervened usually that doesn't know me and gossips some crap and turns the person away .. if there's nobody there at the time a friend or associate will eventually say something and push them from me.. I'm 43 and this has happened since a was 16 every single time without fail.. all I want to do is fall head over heels in love and cuddle and be affectionate with a woman. But its always wrong by some perspective or someone is jealous. Even seems to happen on dating sites.. I've even had strangers in a group chat on some sites say they'll make sure I don't find love because THEY feel I should try something im not even interested or attracted in 1st. I'm lucky to even have 1 ..6 month relationship in my whole life.. told by alot of women I should have no problems finding someone. I even tried Grindr as I was told open minded cool women are sometimes on there.. a guy messaged and was pushy so I said no he continued to harass me so I told him what for and grindr banned my account. This is all entrapment. Especially the last part. I've had a girl on pof ask me what I like with a fine tooth comb. I was honest cuddles kisses in very affectionate. And what do she do.. say you can cuddle if you want then screamed at me like a spider ran over her foot. She invited me to her friend's place and they were mocking me over it. I've had people literally date a girl I was interested in out of spite.. they didn't like the girl one bit.. they only wanted her because I had an interest. Some have even been married over it.. 43 and its happened my whole life.. I have vivid dreams that I NEED to find love in my life or mother nature will deem us as a defective species and destroy the planet. I hope and assume its just a subconscious reaction to the reflection of what's happened. I've even held back on falling in love to wait to see if its right or wrong with that person.. every time without fail I've been made to feel like the most terrible person in the world because I let myself do so. Let's hope those dreams aren't real.. weirdly enough the older one gotten the more the dreams are saying time is up and also society seems to be destroying itself more and more. But I ignore that and hope one day I have someone to cuddle besides my dog. I need love .. I need a female partner. And nobody socialises anymore because someone who created the internet and internet dating wanted everyone to use the apps to push yhats its the new age thing so sent people to be assholes to people so its the only way.. but they kept going and now nobody trusts or talks to anyone.. dating apps have fucked up society as far as dating goes. I mean at the end of the day it is what it is. There's guys that don't like their partners or ones that don't treat them right .. there's some that never wanted a family. And there's me.. rorted of life because I was keen for it. Probably comes down to govt control also.. well I wouldn't be surprised.