#this got so sappy ?? kind of?? idk idk IDK writing who idk her

[serendipitous-mage]

......... who's gonna tell him ... .. ill do it @markiplier

[biolumien]

Hey :) I just found your blog and I love your writing style, so I was wondering if you'd write for Windbreaker's Suo or Kaji? If yes, may I request a hurt/comfort (or angst to fluff) where the reader is in love with him (if you write for both, I'll let you choose, who you want to write for), but doesn't know he also likes her, so when she sees a girl flirting with him, she just leaves, wanting not to interrupt, before she can see he's turning the girl down. And he later comes to find her somehow? Idk, just an idea. If you don't feel like writing it, don't stress yourself out. Either way I'm looking forward to your future stories!

notes: tysm for your kind words; i decided to write suo! it’s a lil’ light on the angst and more a cute drabble, or at least it is for my standards… but i hope it’s still good. ik you used she/her in your request but i tend to write gender neutrally? just to be more inclusive overall so i hope that’s okay as well… please enjoy! 🙂‍↕️

a token of your affections

hayato suo x gn!reader no warnings apply. suo's a smooth operator. or something. word count: 1090

there’s no mistaking that suo is the kind of guy who gets flighty with everyone. layers of charm, artificial or not, built up around him to create the aura of someone utterly untouchable. unknowable.

but it was that suave charm of his that made you fall in love with him. he spoke kindly and gently to everyone, of course–but it always seemed like he saved a little bit of it for you. an extra sweet glance, a small smile, all so you could hold it to your chest. you could cradle the perfect jewel of his affection. what color would it be, you wonder.

it was the kind of love that got people to write sappy letters. you thought you might, at some point. but all the same, you were a little afraid of what he might say. would he smile at you the same way, with that same kindness and gentleness, before delivering the hard-hitting truth that he just didn’t feel the same way? what would you do then? what was there to do, if he did that? 

you could always die of a broken heart, you thought to yourself. that was always the other option.

you and suo frequently walked home together—the two of you lived relatively close, so it was no surprise. suo’s gaze was fixed up ahead, humming a soft tune. 

“suo,” you say. 

“mm? you know you can call me hayato, you know. it’s just us. i don’t mind.” suo smiles at you as he always does—quiet and patient. 

“it feels weird,” you protest. “everyone else at school just calls you suo.” 

“mm, that’s true. but i’ve trusted you with my name! it’s a big honor, you know. not everyone get that from me,” suo says, tapping his bottom lip contemplatively. “but what’s on your mind?” 

“mm.” you glance at the road, at a street cat skulking through an alleyway for a moment. “are you interested in anyone right now, suo?”

“oh-ho?” suo’s eyebrows raise, the smile on his face growing wider ever-so-slightly. “hmm… what’s got you interested in that?”

you flush, looking away.

“none—none of your business,” you mutter. 

“but it is my business!” suo crows, leaning close to you. you take a sudden step back in alarm, practically stumbling over yourself as suo catches you with lightning-fast reflexes, cradling your back in his arms. “careful now. wouldn’t want you getting hurt.” 

“…” your face feels like it’s burning. “suo, i wasn’t gonna fall that badly.” 

“just making sure,” suo says, righting you. “but like i said—it is my business, since you’re asking about my personal life.” he smiles, tapping his lower lip again. “but… to answer your question, then—no comment.” 

“what? hey!” you protest, but he laughs, putting his hands behind his head as he walks off. 

you think you get your answer, though. 

as furin’s daily patrols end, you stand at the school gate, waiting for suo to show. you wait for about fifteen minutes—and then you frown. he’s usually more punctual than this—hell, half the time he’s the one waiting for you at the gate. where could he possibly be? 

as you head back into the building to look for him, you hear—

“please go out with me!” 

your eyes widen as you peek into the heavily graffitied classroom. suo’s back was turned to you, so you couldn’t see his face, but the girl was holding out some kind of folded envelope to him, and your face flushes and your eyes feel like they’re burning too. hell, they might as well just set you on fire right now, or maybe see if self-immolation was still a thing. 

“mm…” suo’s voice lilts. you curse the man you love, for a moment—for the fact that his voice sounds sweet no matter what, that it was impossible to tell what he was thinking at any moment. “well—”

there’s roaring in your ears. 

you rush off before you can hear suo’s answer, cursing yourself the entire time.

of course you weren’t the only one that liked him—there was a myriad amount of admirers he could have. of course he wouldn’t choose you first—and your mind flickers back to the affections he gave you, the weight of his gaze and the smiles that you’d wanted to keep for yourself. 

you were so, so stupid, you think bitterly as you rush out of the school, trying desperately to hide tears that were now trickling down your face. the last thing you wanted were rumors that you were crying over suo, in any case.

why would you care if suo was dating someone else that wasn’t you? why did you care that someone confessed to him before you got to? why did you curse yourself so much for not getting there quicker? were you going to lose hi—

“wait.” 

suo’s hand clasps your wrist, and you nearly topple back into him—and then you do, losing your footing and slamming fully into his chest. he exclaims in surprise, but manages to right himself. you look up.

“what, suo? don’t you have a girl who confessed to you already?” you ask weakly.

suo’s eye widens.

“so it was you,” he says softly, a teasing smile on his face. “it’s rude to eavesdrop.”

“rude to—why aren’t you answering my question?” you ask, somehow angry for an absurd reason you can’t even fathom.

“hm? i turned her down,” suo says. “told her i’ve already got someone i’m fully interested in.”

“huh?” you blink up at him. “who—”

suo leans his head down to kiss you, interrupting your words. the kiss is soft, short, and sweet—but bears with it the same kindness, the same precious jewel of love that you wished you might be able to keep.

“it’s you,” he says as he parts from the kiss. “it’s always been you.”

and as you blink up at him, you think the tears start falling. suo laughs fondly.

“i thought i was obvious about it,” suo says. “i let you call me by my first name and everything.”

“you weren’t obvious enough,” you protest.

“hmm. that’s my bad, then,” suo says softly, leaning down to kiss you again—on your forehead, and then on your nose, and then on your lips again, short and sweet. “i’ll make it up to you. go out with me?”

you look up at him.

the jewel of suo’s affection was bright red, you decided. and it was yours, now, sitting in the palm of your hand.

“of course,” you say.

and suo smiles, pulling you close to his chest.

[muzicgenerator]

Hey, can I request an angst story with Bill and reader (the reader is female) abt crazy fans please? Like them (Bill and the reader) admitting somewhere (idk maybe in an interview for a magazine) that they almost broke up because of that (maybe reader's fanbase is known for being "too much" sometimes like following the reader everywhere, being so in love with her etc)

(Also could the story take place in the 2000s please?)

Goodbye 👋

i like this one im actually excited abt writing this one shot

btw im so sorry for late reply AHSJHFKDHDK please expect ill take like AT LEAST a week to answer yalls request bc im busy as hell w school 😭😭 love u guys pls understand

and again this aint entirely proof read

⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

Too Much?

✮

Pairing: Bill Kaulitz x Fem Reader

Genre: Angst, Mostly fluff

Warnings: Stalking, mention of nonconsensual touching, very embarrassing storytime from bill

Request Status: closed :(

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮ I'm Not Okay (I Promise) : My Chemical Romance

(Time set back in late November of 2007)

Being a famous actress since as a child was unbelievably tough.

You had worked so hard and expertly; you didn't even have time to spend your childhood properly.

Just at the age of 19 and you've finished numerous movies and series. A true self-made millionaire, really.

You and your ravenette boyfriend are currently doing an interview for a night show.

"So ____, wow! After a long pause from doing films you're finally gonna have one showing soon! How is it like? Being back and all; being the talk of the country."

In the past one and a half year you hadn't done any projects since you've decided to take a break for yourself. And now you're once again busy taping with film staff and directors for your new and upcoming Teenage Romance movie.

Rest assured it's not your typical boy-meets-girl or vice versa and they do sappy sweet stuff and get together kind of film; it has its own uniqueness that will surely be called as "One of 2000s greatest Teen Romance movies of all time."

"Oh, I feel great Hanna. I had a deserving break and I'm back to doing one of the things I love most. I'm even happier because I got my lover and his band to sing the theme song for the movie." You truthfully answered and chuckled by the end of your statement.

"How about you Bill? How are things with your band?" Hanna included Bill to the conversation.

At that, he smiled politely. "Everything's great with us y'know, we're still together and all. Which I'm grateful for."

After a few more minutes for pep talk; the blonde interviewer finally decided to get onto the exciting part of the show.

"And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for! Dunk Tank!" Hanna smiled widely at the selected crowd.

"Where in this game; you will pick someone from the crowd who will accompany you with this game.

Your selected teammate will ask any question they want; to which you will answer, and if you don't want to then they'll get a chance to throw a ball on the target. Where if they hit it, you'll fall down the tank."

Hanna excitedly announced despite having done this for the nth time.

"____ and Bill, play Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who goes first."

You knew you'd beat Bill since every single time you played it - he'd miserably lose.

"Oh, I'm confident in winning this one!" you proudly say.

"Just because you've beat me all the other times we played this, doesn't mean I'll lose now!" Bill accepted your challenge and laughed.

He was right. He won for the very first time.

"Oh my God! Did I seriously win?!" your black clothed boyfriend exclaimed.

"I only let you win this time because I felt sorry." you playfully rolled your eyes with a smirk.

"Whatever, I'm gonna choose now." he giggled and stepped closer to the crowd.

His fan girls were screaming at the top of their lings, begging to be chosen by him.

No, you weren't jealous. Not one bit. Sometimes Bill would even complain about you not being possessive of him from time to time and would think you're not as in love as he thought.

It's cute, really. Then you'll show him how much you love him through actions rather than words.

Bill chose a girl who seemingly looked two or three years younger.

The joyous girl screamed in surprise; "Oh my god! What?! Me??! SERIOUSLY??"

It made Bill giggle, "Yes, you! Now get down here!"

A body guard helped the girl down; and when she was no longer at the stairs she rushed Bill to hug him but abruptly stopped. "Hi oh my god you're more beautiful up close! Can I hug you?!" she says excitingly.

It made your heart flutter just how kinder your boyfriend's fans are compared to yours.

To say your fan base is crazy is an understatement. Many would harass you through nasty words or touching you with no consent; it didn't matter if they did that out of how much they "love" you, it was still disgusting.

"Um, yeah. Sure!" he hesitantly looked at you; his eyes asking for permission. To which you subtly nodded.

Again, your heart melted by how he's making sure you're okay with it. Honestly, you very much understood that being famous would mean people wanting to hug you or any form of physical contact. Plus, it's not like you can say no to Bill from hugging a fan; you'd be a scandal. And you knew Bill wouldn't have any other choice as well.

He wrapped an arm over her shoulders while she fully embraced him. Okay, you're a teensy bit jealous especially by the way she's holding him like he's her man.

But that was soon washed away when she turns to you.

"Hi! What's your name sweetie?" Hanna asked and put a mic on her mouth.

"My name is Pauline!"

Before Hanna could say anything further, Pauline beat her to it.

"____!! I'm such a big fan of you too! I've been watching your movies since forever." saying she's over the moon is definitely an understatement! This will definitely be a core memory.

Almost immediately you wrapped your arms around her back and squeezed her. This girl is definitely one of the most respectable and sweetest fan you've ever met.

Was it really low? Yes.

The audience cheered by how sweet you and Bill had been to the girl and by how jealous they were.

As Bill and Hanna chattered about God knows what; the girl leaned closer to you in order to ask a favour which no one can hear.

"Can I ask you to shout out my brother? He has a huge crush on you!"

"Sorry darling but we're in the middle of a show right now. How about later I ask the staff to send you to the backstage? Then I'll give him my magazine with an autograph, and if you have a camera with you - you can video me saying hi to him!" you came up with a resolution.

Was it over the top? You didn't know and you didn't care. You're just fleeting with joy by how this girl isn't like any other of your fans.

"Seriously? You'd do that for me and my brother?" she gasped.

"Well, yeah. I mean it's not always that I have such nice interactions with people who are a fan."

"Okay lovebirds what are you two talking about there?" Hanna teased with a smirk and Bill playfully pouted.

"Nothing, nothing" you laughed and held Bill's arm as the crowd laughed and cheered.

"If you say sooo." she replied. "Alright, your turn to pick!"

You carefully looked around the crowd and walked five steps of the stairs to get a better view of the people on the back. A fifteen year old boy was holding a banner stating "Bill's No.1 Boy", it was cute, really. So you planned to steal your boyfriend's fan! (this a joke dont hate reader pls)

"The ginger at the back with the banner please." you said to the mic.

The boy squeeled in delight and threw his banner somewhere before running down to you. Your arms opened for an embrace which he immediately jumped into.

"What's your name?" you put the mic to his mouth as you both carefully went down the stairs and back to the stage.

"Sam, I'm Sam! My name is Sam!" his rather high pitched voice said.

"Okay, Sam. I know you're Bill's fan so I'm gonna have to steal you, that okay?"

"Hey, no fair!" Bill patted the boy's head and shot a smile at him.

This moment for him is definitely a core memory and will brag about it to every living human he sees.

"Now, who wants to go first in the tank?" Hanna asked.

"I'll do it" Bill says excitingly.

They agreed and the staff helped him get up. Once he were seated and adjusted in the circular surface; he challenge you.

"Ask a good one!"

"Ohohoo, we definitely will!" you smirked.

You turn to Sam and ask him without the mics near your faces; "What're you gonna ask your idol?"

"Oh uhmm, I don't really know." he says bashfully.

"Maybe his most embarrassing moment?"

"That'll work, definitely." you smile supportively and fist bumped him.

"Bill, you read?!" Hanna exclaimed.

"Born ready!!"

"Alright Sam, ask away!"

"What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?" Sam asked with twinkles in his eyes.

"Oh, definitely when me and ____ weren't dating yet; she threw a sleepover party and she invited me and my mates, and there were three bathrooms, right? The three were being used and in one of those bathrooms it was Tom using it, and I had to rush him because I really needed to take a shit, like I couldn't hold it any farther!

So he went out really pissed and I pushed him off the door and quickly shut it and went right into business."

Bill paused and tried to compose himself as the crowd started to get louder.

"And when I washed and pushed the flush button - It wouldn't flush! So I got really scared because I just shit in my crush's toilet and I can't let anyone know that I'm the one who did it. So i looked around and saw a pack of pads so I took one of them; and forced myself to dip my hand down to grab it and I almost puked!

I look around and see there's no trash bin. So I panic again, and eventually decided I'll just rush down to throw it in the garbage in her garage. I quickly make a run for it and almost bumped into ___"

He now covered his hands in shame and embarrassment. "And she saw the pad in my hand! So she asked me like, 'Is that a pad?' and I'm like yes and so she asks whose it is...... and I said it's mine....."

You know of this story long ago; and it just gets better and better whenever you think or hear of it.

The audience and interviewer roared with laughter; as well as the staff behind and securities who tried to contain their smiles.

"I wish I never asked!" Sam wiped his tears from laughing too hard.

"Get down here Bill! That was too much!" Hanna's cheeks started to hurt, "Sorry to the viewers who are eating."

Bill went down immediately and squeezed the living life out of you. He does this whenever he's feeling embarrassed or nervous, and calls it his "Physical Support" from you.

"You should've let yourself get thrown in the water!" you giggled and hugged him back before he pulled away with a red face.

"Next goes ____!"

Once you were seated and made yourself comfortable on the seat; you tell them you're ready.

It was Pauline's turn to question whatever she wishes. "____, what do you think of your fans?"

She asks sincerely; she must've noticed something by the way you're like to your fan base and to Bill's. A part of you wished she hadn't asked but you've been dying to let the creepers out there know that whatever they'd been doing to you for a long long time - greatly affects you, especially as a young stat growing up in this sort of industry.

You rarely held any meet and greet, rarely had photos with fans where you look actually comfortable and where they weren't touching your waist or hips or near your ass - and ones where you do look comfortable it was mostly with girls or kids, which was not as often as when you do with the rest; who are pedophiles and creepy boys.

Of course you've always been nice when interacting with them; you didn't want to be rude and only wanted to be kind.

Definitely, there were times when you couldn't take it and couldn't do anything about it - other than cry and complain in your lover's arms.

You're forever thankful to have someone like him; he'd always listen to whatever you say and support everything you do.

Not realising; you zoned out quite a bit and snapped out of it when Bill called out your name with worry that he's trying to mask from everyone.

"Oh-, well, obviously I love them so much, if it weren't for them I wouldn't have succeed this much - of course the people who helped me get up in this industry as well.

I truly do appreciate their love and support, seriously. But quite the number of them are uh, how do I say this." you nervously chuckled as everyone listened intently to the tea you're telling.

"Crossing my boundaries? Yes, uh- that." you say not quite satisfied with the word you chose. It was evident that it's worse than just that but the safest.

"We all know people would cross it by taking unsolicited pictures of you, that's given because you're a celebrity, but are there some other ways they would? If you don't mind me asking of course." Hanna carefully asked.

You smiled softly, "Well a few have stalked me to my house - which I dunno how the hell they did so and took pictures of me and they'd send it to me and tell me how they thought of me. Some leave love letters, flowers, food in front of my gate, sent death threats to my exes when I was dating them and even now to my Bill." you left the worse parts out since you didn't want half of the world to be talking about your most private part of life. What you're even telling them now is a whole lot.

"Wow.. we all knew your fan base could get a bit crazy judging from all the videos we see and the news, but not by this much!" Hanna says empathetically.

"It happens, I guess." you try to laugh it off. However, Bill looked at your hues with his that sent the message of "Are you okay?"

In which yours replied with "I'm not okay."

✮✮✮

The game went on a for it was Pauline's turn to the dunk tank, then Sam's.

You continued your cheery self through the whole taping and told yourself you'll regret what you said later in your dressing room. Bill kept his distance close to you and would caress your hand or shoulder as a sign of support - as well as slipping a "How're you holding up?" every now and then.

If there were billions of ways to show gratitude to this man; you'd do every single one of it to him.

After the agonizing show was over; you and Bill kissed Hanna's cheeks as a goodbye and thank you. To which she said back to you both as well and wished to see you soon.

As you made your way to the dressing room in silence with your fingers intertwined with Bill's; you abruptly stop in your tracks.

"I almost forgot I have to sign a magazine for Pauline!"

Your lover looked confused for a second "What? Why?"

"I kinda promised Pauline I'll just sign a magazine for her brother because she asked me to shout him out while taping." you let a small huff and loosened your grip on your boyfriend's slender hand. "How about I'll see you later in the van? You can wait for me there instead if I haven't been back by five minutes."

Bill smiled, "Of course sweetheart, I'll see you later. Love you." he pecked your lips and lovingly looked into your eyes for a moment before heading to his dressing room.

Quickly; you asked a staff to bring Pauline to your dressing room to give her an autograph - to which they agreed to. Thankfully.

While they did that, you strided to your room and grabbed your magazine and marker - which immediately after doing so, a knock was heard on your door.

You hand held the paper as the other gripped the violet ink marker. When you did, you were greeted by a Pauline smiling widely with a camera on her right hand.

"Hi!" she says excitingly.

You greet back and quickly hugged her, "I see you have a camera with you."

"Oh, yes, uhm.. I was wondering if i can take a video of you signing an autograph? So my brother would believe me that it really is from you." she nervously giggled. "I might or might now have pranked him once by giving him a fake autograph."

"Yeah, sure. What's your brother's name?" you say softly.

"It's Percy." she answers as she readies her camera.

"Alright, is it rolling?" you ask with a smile on your face. Pauline says yes with a grateful smile; grateful for being how considerate and kind you are.

"Hi Paul! So I heard from your sister that you're a fan? Too bad you didn't come with her." you looked behind the camera to Pauline.

"And I heard she gave you a fake autograph of mine? Well now, you're getting a real one, and this is the proof." you say still giggling as you signed the magazine.

"There, and keep the pen. I gotta go now, bye and love you!" you say as you waved goodbye and gave your iconic kiss blow alongside a wink.

Once Pauline returned the camera back to her bag; she immediately thanked you.

"I'm serious - thank you thank you sooo much! And uh.. I'm really sorry if what I asked earlier was too personal. I really am. I was just curious and didn't thoroughly before it slipped my mouth." she noticed the change of the atmosphere long ago. Even if she's just fifteen, she knew how to read the room well.

"Aw, sweetie.. it's nothing." you pat her shoulder, "It's fine I tell ya, also I better get going - you should too, it'll get dark in just two hours. Bye bye and stay safe!" you wave goodbye as she still exclaimed thank you's as she walked backwards towards the exit.

(that footage is definitely gonna go viral after many years)

In a light speed; you gathered your essential belongings and had your personal assistant help you carry your other belongings to the van; to which Bill noticed through the windows that you're carrying back pack and a purse and immediately helped you despite having it under perfect control.

He opened the door for you and let you in first before him and closed the door. Your personal assistant sat in the passenger seat next to the driver, while you and your beloved were at the very back despite the space up front.

You rested your head on his shoulder and he put his above yours while he held your hand with both of his; tracing every outline, massaging it, and kissing it once in a while.

"R'you okay now?" Bill mumbled and kissed your head.

"Yes, hon. I'm great actually.. thanks so much for being there, I love you so much." you turn your head to face his and pecked his lips.

"I love you more than you'll ever know, I'm glad you're okay." he smiled genuinely and kissed you deep and passionate.

You returned to your head's original position and fell to sleep; not caring if tomorrow, you'll be the town's talk.

[shreddeddescent]

ok ok one last insanity check for everyone ok this is a lil different. like lemme just say im clearly someone who likes to go to the dark zone but also try and claw my way back out. i do sappy funny shit most of the time. and the writing of this thing has gotten long and insane, timelines have jumped as i try and parse events. as in i started w a scenario where raph nearly got sold out to his father and is rescued by his brothers immediately. we go to a place where he wasnt and is rescued later. theres been inbetweens where hes rescued but bad things happen despite that. all of this has led me to like his inner turmoils (diagnosis) and the other characters inner turmoils more. how they feel about each other how theyve coped. its good to jump around so im glad i havent said too much as if its all set in stone. im glad im not trying to write a fanfiction to SHARE if that makes sense.

my current shit that has gotten the longest was from the worst case scenario of his lack of rescue and i feel like... i dont need to say what that was? but i think i should point out that descent has a second meaning. its not just the spiralling downward, its also the root word of descendant. that was my feeling about the poetry of it.

so ill say i do feel like im in the danger zone of being fucking murdered for this but i wanna say it anyway cuz i think itll be ok. i think you guys will get it cuz ur being nice. im exploring shit and having fun. it gets raw, it gets hard, but its working out.

so i started writing this au as "ok so heres a scene where raph is just hanging out w casey, hes trying to tell her to control her anger, and theyre fighting a bit. and he fucking flashes back and realized hes a csa victim. let the story unravel from there"

and im currently in the. insane writing area of "what if ur presumed aborted kids come back from the future/pocket dimension to take care of u cuz theyre like 30 and have coped w what they are and know you have no adults around who give a shit. and theyre amazing and kind and want to help you."

shits.......... gone off the rails. idk what else to say. i am having fun exploring insanity and seeing if i can reign it in. if i didnt do that i wouldnt have come up w half the shit i have. so like. uh. idk if youll see anything of said thing okay. its weird i know it is. but honestly i feel like the insanity and seeing how real i can make it feel, how i can parse feelings over it is working well. maybe this all sounds spoilery or weird. i was really thinking "ill just draw out things chronologically" but im struggling with that for some reason. but this au is on my mind uh 24/7 and its good to just be like "ok, heres where my head is at, if thats not what you wanna hear about it the unfollow button is right there"

but i also feel like ive been OVERLY POINTING OUT. that this isnt a story for kids. so please try not to judge me too harshly. its just a fucking.... how insane can i go and tell you about it thing. i guess.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/729917718378184705/httpswwwtumblrcomolderthannetfic729712117610

The one person I knew who did the commissions for fic thing was a technically competent writer but a) had gone really hard in the direction of sappiness and purple prose to the point it was nauseating to read (it’s hard to explain this and it’s not the same as just being overly descriptive, but a specific kind that comes up with some fanfic romance writing — that said, I know it when I see it, and there’s a popular writer in my current fandom/OTP who is starting down the same path. Describing relatively mundane relationship developments in really flowery, OTT, epic ways? Using a lot of the same treacly pet names? Idk, regardless, it’s not to my taste).

And b) was mostly writing AUs and of the kind where it felt like the characters had kind of ceased to be the two canon characters other than a few cliched, overdone-in-fandom character traits (you know that thing where a character says he likes onions once and then his trait in fanon is The Onion Guy? that thing), like she was writing more using her own stuff as a reference than the original show. So it got very ATG and she may as well have been writing original romance.

--

If the buyers say they like it, I'll believe them, but yeah, this is not uncommon.

[j2zara]

Hiiiiii~ 2, 4, 7, 10, 22, 24, 30 for the fic writer game! 💖

Hiiiii friend! Sorry this took all day my brain is dead rn

2. a character whose POV you’re currently exploring

Lol i'm banging my head against the wall getting killed by LJ3porter fic so i'm like. Right in Girlfail Ellie J4 POV hell rn!!!! She's so fun and i do think writing for her is both easy and hard in that i enjoy doing it (and tbh i think i default to her pov usually when im in LJ3 mode) but i worry i make her way too sopping wet and pathetic. Which she can be pathetic but i worry im going like. way too sad wattpad girl with her.

4. a story idea you haven’t written yet

OK! I've talked about a few different things before so i'm gonna. Well. I'm two sentences into twelfth night j2 being sent to pursue Jace on Porter's behalf fic so i feel like that counts as "not written yet." I also talk about how. I think doing a reincarnation au for LJ3 or the clones in general would be so fun. i'm not sure what kind tho, the version in which they're all new teachers at aguefort is so fun and kinda stuck in my brain now. Plus i wanna write Barbarian teacher Tiefling!Ellie x Sorcerer teacher Aasimar!J3 like so so so so bad i think it would be such a funny way to have them never escaping the torment nexus. I also think it would be fun to write something abt LJ3 in their friends with benefits era. Or maybe one of their more official "date nights". I think if they got into doing roleplay in the bedroom is would be so so so so so so fucking funny. Like. Pretending the other is stranger they picked up at the bar or something.

7. your preferred writing fonts

Tbh i kinda would like to find a perfect writing font? I tend to default Arial and it doesn't look perfect its honestly kinda offputting but. my strategy is. When I feel like my writing looks so so so busted i switch to Verdana which is closer to the ao3 font so i can better visualize how it's gonna look. And that helps a bit. Idk im sick.

10. what is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

That's a good question. Actually? A couple years i think? I abandoned my old talentswap for a couple years before picking it up again in college. (tbh my current ch 3.3 is STILL unfinished so i abandoned it again). Tbh i'm not good at letting drafts rest and returning back to them. I either try to power through or end up abandoning it which i don't love

22. do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?

I try not to but like. Yeah. I'm stressed basically every time. I joke that when i write original fiction that i have a hoard of angry twitter pearlclutchers that live in my head ready to rip everything i do to shreds but i try not to listen to them. But i'm worried every time. This has nothing to do with how i feel about you guys tbh i wildly underestimate your guys kindness and goodwill just bc im very hard on myself

I was anxious abt IYWD (I was worried it was gonna come across as too soft or too apologetic). I was anxious that nobody would take to Dyke!Jace/Zara in Who Can Blame a Girl, or i wouldn't be able to sell it

I probably MOST anxious of all about Almost (I was SO stressed that ppl were not gonna vibe at all with Bluejay or not gel with the whole "what if the clones were actual characters" , "born to love porter cliffbreaker, forced to do menial tasks for jaceprime" etc etc thought experiment. and i was so so so so so so scared about dropping the nickname Bluejay i was worried it was gonna be completely stupid and i was completely off the mark)

I was anxious abt Biggest Lie (i was worried it wasn't hot enough or maybe too violent or that it was maybe too shamelessly just like. smut lol).

And after Almost i was probably second most anxious about Stay / Leave. It was just a wip i really struggled with and idk it was so.... insular i guess? b/c it was so niche and the wip ended up being SO LONG and kinda emotional and sappy? Like again i think i was having the same doubts i had abt j2 in which i was like what if i can't sell people on this relationship. What if i've failed to convey something sincere. (that one was crazy tho bc i really really really really tried to release it and not care what happened bc i knew only a handfull of ppl would read it and i really really really tried to be cool and for a while i was but it was just hard i was so nervous and i don't think it was anyones reaction is really was just my nerves that were putting me in such a bad and upset mood and then over the next day or two i. I made this joke earlier that like. I PROMISE and hope i'm not overinflating my ego when i say this like i'm perfectly aware that i just write silly smut online but it really was so so so so funny. to see everyone practically overnight be like.... wait. Are LJ3..... in love??? And now LJ3 is like such an integral part of clone lore.

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

That's a good question bc i feel like. When i'm stuck in one medium i tend to just try and distract myself with another so when im bad at drawing i write and when im bad at writing i draw. But thats not exactly recharging. Tbh i do think i need to find better things in my routine that rejuvenate me i think i haven't been particularly good at treating myself well lately

30. share a fic you’re especially proud of

I'm cringe and usually will shill if you want divinity (you're gonna have to go through me) as one of my favorite things i've ever written. But im also extremely confident most of y'all have already read it. I'm very very hard on myself so i swing between thinking the things i make suck and also being like. Fairly proud of all of them.

But idk it was my first ambitious thing i wrote and FINISHED in a long time and honestly? I do think its slightly better than the rest bc the iterations are all reliant on the original so they're very intertextual and repetitive which isn't BAD but. The extra work it took to make IYWD work makes it feel different to me. There's a LOT of stuff in it that i'm proud of that i honestly kind of miss b/c Porter is so smitten for Jace in a way he hasn't been in things i've written in a long time. I'm a softy who likes when jaceporter are soft and kinda in love... sue me... And like. i always feel so self congratulatory talking about the Loving To the Point of Invention Detect Thoughts + Teleport but i really felt good about coming up with that. And i still like the flashbacks a lot. It always feels so embarrassing to admit that i like. Get emotional thinking about the flashback of them on the bed. Sometimes i tailor make a scene just for me. "I promise i'm never going to let anything happen to you ever again" "as a paladin or a barbarian" "both" is like. Such a scene just for me. And I think the ending is good too. "I'll take it. I'll take it all" just felt so. fitting. It's so him getting to hear himself say to porter "i'll take the thing with you that is broken and fucked and full of compromises even if it has to end". Sigh. Sometimes you're an english major and you agonize over being a good writer for like two decades and realize that you might not be as horrible as you think.

(For the record. i think if i were to rank what i've written for fantasy high from fav to least fave, i'd say IYWD, Biggest Lie, Stay / Leave, Who Can Blame a Girl, Almost, Tell Me How, and it feels weird to put Almost that low bc i do like it. Tbh i regret making it so short i think i could've pushed it further)

Anyway!!! This got long winded as hell. Thanks for the asks they were fun to do!

Send me Fic Writer Asks! / Here are the questions!

[crystalflygeo]

Wait a second! I knew I've seen you around! Crys!

Also, holy heck in a handbasket. Why are you also not an EBG participant? I've seen you on a couple blogs, notably, Meirin's and Dresvi's, and I really enjoy your shenanigans.

I like how you take things in unexpected directions. I thought the whole idea of bringing the Adepti in as players in Meirin's blog was such an amazing choice. You have a lot of talent in writing different sorts of characters, and I like it a lot.

I also like how you can find a way into blog arcs. With the way you write, you're flexible enough to push the writers on the other end just enough to get them to open up into the lore they have. I remember you pushing Elzer in Dresvi's blog just enough to drop little tidbits about the general lore and the fire situation that's apparently going on in there.

Also, do not get me started on how entertaining it is to watch you start up shenanigans in Meirin's tea house. It's so much fun to read your shenanigans.

I never know what I'm gonna get when I see you as an asker, and that makes it fun.

Like with Risu, I hope that you do end up being an EBG participant. I'm honestly amazed by how much mastery you have for different character voices. But even if you don't, it's been fun watching you cause a lot of fun shenanigans. I hope you continue to cause all the chaos.

There's only one day left, so I look forward to seeing what other shenanigans you get up to.

✌️

sfcvgsahvcajshcbsakn AYOOOOOOOOOO WHAT I'M HONORED PLS???

ANON WHO ARE YOU LET ME HUG YOU RN THANK YOUUUUU Again I did briefly consider it but I was just coming back from a trip for vacations, starting back work again, had other stuff going on stressing me also I genuinely don't think I have the brainpower to make a plotted EBG lmao

Also I feel like idk for something like this I'd like to establish some more lore about my OC/avatar? hehe. A lot of wonderful friends (most notably @meimeimeirin @floraldresvi @moraxsthrone and @localplaguenurse) have been really inspiring me to write more and kinda... open up more? feel more comfortable with myself in my blog? bc I always had this idea of being kinda "anon" and be a little removed from my own posts and writing, but they've given me courage to be myself and have fun and do what I want and that includes selfshipping which I never really... did much? But it's so much fun! It's so fun to RP, to share silly little headcanons and ideas, to express your love and happiness for characters, and share that supporting others too and making them happy! Anyway wow I got sappy. Point is, I do hope to kind of... introduce myself/my OC and be a little more "me" about my bias if that makes sense? because that is what the ebg is all about (I think?) that funny and weird "hey this person who loves X character is now forced to get out of their comfort zone and simp for Z instead lmao"

pls I had forgotten how much fun RPing could be I feel like I haven't done so in yeeeears and I still think I'm rusty scvgasjbvcjhak but I used to love it and I do love to write

EBG has been so much fun! Even as a spectator, and I sure hope to participate someday but pls literally all of this was so sweet schajbckas I am not worthy of that much praise aaaaaaaaaaa

I AM VERY PROUD AND HAPPY WITH MY SHENANIGANS AT RIN'S TEAHOUSE HAHAHAHAHA and knowing I gave her some good laughs and she has also been enjoying it's all worth it

ty anon this has been an experience, but also to know people see me like this just... pls Imma cry, I'm thankful to be so loved <3

[fan-tav-stic]

For the Tav questions: 2, 8, 16, and 25 for Kairius? (And if you wanna do those same ones for Valexi I'd love to hear about him, too!)

Thank you again for asking Tav questions!!! I love talking about my boys sm!!!

Kairius

2. Describe their tent setup! What’s on the outside? The inside?

On the outside is pretty barebones. It’s decently small with a deep violet cloth. He’s got a small plush stool for sitting on to write his music and a rack that houses his sword

On the inside however!! He’s got STACKS of books that he’s picked up over the course of the game, papers crumpled and scattered everywhere from discarded song writing attempts, a small plank of wood behind his bedroll that houses a bunch of little carved figurines Halsin has made for him, his quill and ink, some home made horn oil + home made shampoo, and a small hand mirror + brush.

His bedroll is simple with a few luxurious pillows that he’s “borrowed”, one of which keeps his song journal safe.

8. After Act 3, what does their life look like? What are they talking about at the reunion party?

BUCKLE UP THIS ONE IS LONG!!! Also to preface this: I have NOT finished the game and have only done Astarion’s quest in ACT 3 but i no longer care if its canon compliant or not LMAO.

So he, Shadowheart, and Halsin get a little plot of land on the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate with a decent few acres of forest land beyond the house. They adopt Umi, Ide, and Yenna (+ Grub of course). He and Shadowheart get married a few years after (Halsin didn’t want to officially get married but he’s still very much on the same level in the polycule.) and then a few years after THAT they have Dahlia.

Dahlia is 1/2 tiefling, 1/4 elf, 1/4 human. She and the rest of his kids become his EVERYTHING. He used to do late night gigs but once she’s born he retires from that and focuses on his song writing since he can do that from home. He loves his kids with his entire fucking being.

Once she’s old enough Kairius teaches her the violin and lute, Shadowheart teaches her some basic healing and other cleric spells, and Halsin teaches her druidic magic. She ends up following in Halsin’s footsteps and becomes a druid. Her first wildshape is a bear cub to match her papa and Halsin calls her “Little Cub”. (I WILL die for Dahlia. I have never actually made a serious fan kid before and I love her sm.)

(I have not gotten to the reunion party so idk how to answer this yet lmao)

16. What do they do for fun, when not adventuring? What are their hobbies?

He’s a song writer and also knows how to dye hair. He’s actually the one who cut and dyed Shadowheart’s hair! (Though he DID fuck up her bangs a little). One of his many hidden talents is being able to bleach any kind of hair into a perfect blonde without frying it in the slightest.

25. What is something they would die on a hill over?

Honestly? I don’t know. Getting into a characters head to talk about their trauma and stuff is easy but getting into their head to get basic stuff like strong opinions makes my brain hurt lmao. It’s like every piece of information i have about them evaporates as soon as i try.

Valexi under the Read More!!!

Valexi

2. Describe their tent setup! What’s on the outside? The inside?

His tent is smaller with a orange-red cloth. It’s pretty barren on the outside, no real personality or trinkets.

On the inside is also pretty barren. He’s got his bedroll, the necronomicon from act 1, a few charcoal drawings hanging up on the inside walls, a box of charcoals and tools, and his daggers in arms reach of his bedroll. Under his pillow is his large leather bound sketchbook.

8. After Act 3, what does their life look like? What are they talking about at the reunion party?

I also haven’t finished the game with him so this is just spitballing or how i hope it goes.

He and Gale move in to Gale’s tower back in water deep. They are INCREDIBLY domestic and sappy. He’s a bit of a house husband, cleans and stuff while Gale is out teaching. They take turns cooking and on a couple nights a week they cook together like they did back in camp.

I don’t think they have kids, but if they did it would be until they were married for a WHILE.

Oh yeah, they get married obvs. I like to think Gale plans to have a big proposal and a ring but Valexi just kinda slips it into daily conversation by accident. Like they’re just talking and someone references something to do with marriage and Val goes “we should do that!” “What?” “Get married, of course. Would you want to marry me someday?” And breaks Gale for a while before he quickly agrees and that’s it, they’re engaged.

They are such fucking dorks.

(No reunion still sowwy lol)

16. What do they do for fun, when not adventuring? What are their hobbies?

He draws! It was originally for fun pre!game but during the game it becomes a coping mechanism for him. It still is a little but it becomes fun again after the game.

His drawings are all related to the memories he can’t remember and can only grasp after nightmares or sometimes when the urges take over enough that he blacks out a little. They’re all done in charcoal and are VERY fucked up in nature. Like I’m talking gruesome bodies, distorted faces, etc.

He also learns to cook with Gale! Another coping mechanism turned passion. He found that the urges could be sated by driving his knife into meat and vegetables rather than people. Gale teaches him every recipe he can remember off the top of his head as well as in cookbooks they find while adventuring. The first ever dish he made was rabbit stew! Gale thought him the proper way to cut veggies and that’s how he found out that chopping up the rabbit helped clear his head.

After the game he keeps learning and actually gets REALLY good and Gale is so fucking proud of his husband.

25. What is something they would die on a hill over?

Again, brain is currently too small to answer this kind of question lol. Maybe I’ll edit this one day and put ‘em in once I figure it out <3

[cto10121]

Waking Romeo (2021)—Review Part 3

[Part 1] [Part 2] In which Romeo reveals himself to be an arrant villain and other totally canon-compliant things, Jules is girlbossed into doing All the Things(tm) as “development” and my ending thoughts. Spoilers as always.

[Jules POV] “I know,” he says, his hand still resting on my knee. “Your mum told my mum, and she told me. It was probably for the best. We were young, Juliet. Young and impulsive. But we’ve got another chance now.” (261)

Of course this Romeo would be perfectly nonchalant about his and Jules’ child dying. Because Canon Romeo is well-known for his callous indifference to anything regarding his love interest.

[Jules POV] And then I remember. This is Romeo.

All at once, my mind is filling with bits and pieces that I had to write a whole make-believe story just to gloss over. How he was busy telling Rosaline that he loved her one night before we got together at that party. How I cried on his shoulder about Tybalt dying and, somehow, he parlayed my grief into a make-out session. How he always played the victim and blamed others for everything. How he was forever talking up how great he was. How he told me that he loved me, over and over, after only a couple of hours. How the whole marriage thing came about after I told him I wanted to wait. How the drugs were his idea.

He didn't force me into anything. They were my choices. I did those things. I was there, in the thick of it, loving every moment—for the most part. But there was a reason the Romeo in my story was so perfectly romantic—I was compensating. (262)

Didn’t Jules come to this realization pages before??? Ugh, this book is a mess. At this point this Romeo is just an red-flag OC in a flesh suit. Also, didn’t Jules say that Rosaline was the one who broke his heart???

Also, also, if Jules wrote R&J the play, then that means she also wrote Tybalt being the aggressor, Romeo killing Tybalt, and her fictional self being angry at him for it. Why would a delusional lovesick teen girl do that?

[Jules POV] I don’t believe it.

She put him in a pod.

She sent my son forward in time.

“William…he’s alive?”

And here is where things really get stupid.

Apparently Jules’ son (William, aka Frogs) not only survived, but was sent forward in time two years by Jules’ mother and aunt. This was done because Jules was 1) too traumatized and obsessed with Romeo to be a mother to William and 2) too young to raise a whole ass kid. Okay. So why didn’t Jules’ mother and/or aunt raise him? Or idk hire an actual nurse for him?

I don’t know. This book has broken me.

[Ellis POV] It takes a moment for the implication of that to sink in. “You want to pass off Jules’ story as a play actually penned by Shakespeare?” […]

He continues, happily nattering away. “I think you’d like her next story, actually. It’s about a prince this time. Starts with a ghost, just like in Wuthering Heights, and opens with the same first line as the myth of Narcissus.” (297).

Die (Reprise, scherzo)

[Jules POV] “I should have brought him back to you,” she says again, almost a whisper. “I really did mean to. But it was so easy to just push the button once more, sending him forward another year. Just one more year, until you were ready.”

Suddenly her constant mantra about me needing to grow up makes sense. She needed me to show that I was responsible. That I wasn't suicidal or reckless anymore. She needed me to prove that I was ready to be a mother.

Mum looks at me with a kind of raw desperation. I still give her nothing. (302)

Yeah, girl, give her nothing. Jesus Christ, even Jules knows it’s all bullshit. OG Lady Capulet would have done away with the child and that would have been in character.

[Jules POV] “Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight, for I ne'er saw true beauty…”

I give a humorless snort at the sappiness of it. If life really was a story, I'd make this a poignant the-wheel-is-come-full-circle moment. It would be all “the true beauty that I needed to see was in me" and “the love that I journeyed to find had nothing to do with a boy,” et cetera.

Well, corny or not, maybe it's true. Either way; when I look in the mirror, I know—and am even starting to like who’s there…which actually strikes me as a pretty good beginning. (317)

[Ellis POV] When he looks at me, the hatred in his eyes is unmistakable.

“You stole my life," he says bluntly, "My wife, my son. I was meant to be the hero. It was meant to be my story, not yours. Romeo and Juliet—that's what was meant to happen."

“But that's not what happened,” says Frogs. “That's not the life she chose.”

“She wanted me. She was obsessed with me,” insists Romeo. “Without Ellis, I would have stayed at the center of everything. I was meant to be important. I was born to be important. So really, this isn't even my fault. Ellis is to blame. I'm just putting things right.” (326)

This Romeo went from “It’s not you it’s me” and not gaf about his kid or Jules to “We were meant to be!!!” simply because the plot said so. This author clearly couldn’t decide which flavor of Romeo the Death Eater she wanted, so she did all of them.

[Jules POV] I close the cover and see that he's changed the order of our names—Romeo & Juliet instead of Juliet & Romeo. Self-centered jerk. I'm about to change it back, then I decide no—it's better that way. In my story I did put myself second.

But not anymore.

����🤮🤮🤮🤮

I can’t believe I have to explain this as I shouldn’t have to explain this and I resent having to explain this…but the order of the names in a couple has less to do with gender power dynamics and all to do with the literal English language and its peculiar stresses, i.e. how easily the two names roll off the tongue.

Hence Romeo and Juliet >>>> Juliet and Romeo. Bonnie and Clyde >>>>> Clyde and Bonnie. And then there are some couple names that sound good either way, e.g. Bella and Edward ~ Edward and Bella, with the former being a bit more smooth than the latter.

[Jules POV] I lay my notebook back down alongside Ellis's novel. His story and mine, finally united...if only here, on my crummy old desk. For a moment I stare at Wuthering Heights, lauded by history as a tale of epic love. Then I look to my own play, Romeo & Juliet. And I decide, actually, they're both pretty crap examples as far as the women go. I mean, all-consuming love and passion? A focus on nothing but hearts?

No, there’s a much bigger picture. (337)

How dare books about romance be romantic!!!!

Honestly, the hypocrisy of this novel that has focused on tedious UST and stupid time travel shenanigans for over 90% of its page count now suddenly pretending it cares about its cookie-cutter dystopian world is galling. Its attempt to turn Jules into a Mary Sue activist and leader of the Settlement by making her one big grand plan to…plant stuff just adds assault to injury.

[Jules’ POV] “Love isn't everything,” I say again, more forceful.

Ellis says nothing.

On instinct, I gaze down at my son. Then I look back at my friends, my family. They suddenly don't strike me as an audience anymore. Audiences are bad as tourists—watching things go south, but doing nothing. No, they resemble an army. Not soldiers, like in Ellis's “buck up” mantra. Not troops; a “buck up" troupe. Every single person a key player in the new narrative. Everyone big and small—with an important role in the fight to turn the tide. We still have time, and time can mend. I stare at them and decide they really are the seed: the past, the now, and the future. Then I look beyond them…

…and I feel it. (368)

*Aspects of Love voice* Love / Love isn’t everything / But the author / Needs her bag

Conclusion

Ho boy, this reread turned out worse than even my original memories once I got past the actual uniqueness of this book’s premise. I think it’s the fact that this time I was able to follow the time travel narrative more closely and thus I picked up on all the messages the author decided to uncritically impart without considering the misogynistic implications therein.

The whole message of this novel is, basically, don’t be a basic bitch. Romantic love is inherently bad and threatens to subvert the natural order: Obedience and servitude to your community and your hard-working parents. Jules must learn that she had made a grave mistake in committing suicide for love. Fine, except that the novel, realizing the psychological absurdity of a supposedly smart and savvy Jules being so blind to Romeo’s faults, adds the twist that Jules was acting out of unprocessed grief for her cousin Tybalt’s death. Tybalt, who is mentioned no more than half a dozen times in the book and who has no personality or relationship with Jules whatsoever. Awful.

As for Romeo…he is just an OC frat boy turned villain in a Canon Romeo flesh suit. There have been arguably worse instances of his vilification (Juliet Immortal comes to mind) but Barker manages to mix up several different strands of Romeo-is-the-worst-actually into one incoherent muddle. Romeo begins as your typical twink fuckboi and ends up a jealous villainous ex who almost kills Ellis.

But even with Romeo’s vilification and Jules’ girlbossification (which to me feel strangely complementary), the new pairing with Ellis still doesn’t work. Barker does a piss-poor job of creating a believably 18th century time traveler and of course Ellis is not at all turned off by Jules’ tomboy Not Like Other Girls behavior the way he should. The whole part where Jules suddenly warms up to Present Ellis and his jerkishness just because Future Ellis was sweet to her exemplifies the novels’ stupid double standards regarding Romeo. As a result, what little interest their budding relationship stirs up is completely dissolved. As if realizing this, the novel tries to retcon the romance by having Jules deny she was truly in love with him—because of course she couldn’t be, since she only barely knew him—only to then have her be with him in the end after a convenient time jump.

And then there is the fact that Barker really had Romeo and Juliet’s biological kid Frogs be a super time traveling genius. He is raised by Ellis, though, so his biological father doesn’t ~really matter. Of course. And of course he survived his mother’s suicide attempt and a cocktail of drugs with only a cool deformity (mismatched eyes) and the ability to see time. Of course.

Other assaults to reason abound. A sixteen-year-old becoming the leader of a community over adults without any pushback is a fantasy more ludicrous than the time travel. The nice and benign adults lied to Jules and robbed her of her choice to raise her child, possibly endangering him in the process, and Jules’ reaction is that of uncritical acceptance.

In short, it seems to me that somewhere in the middle of writing her draft Barker got some reader/editor feedback/pushback on some key points in her narrative and decided to switch thematic gears hastily from basic-girl-learns-about-toxic-relationships-by-comparing-ex-douchebag-with-new-love-interest to basic-girl-learns-how-to-be-a-girlboss-and-girlbosses-awesomely-because-she-needs-no-man-actually. Either way, R&J and Wuthering Heights are left mangled for no good reason. Oy.

[your-local-uwu-artist]

a continuation of this

character devolopment rambels under the cut

was able to further develop their characters a LOT with this!! Sunny is a very carefree guy, unlike his inspiration (me lol) he’s extroverted cause I thought that fit their dynamic better and made his character match better with the sorta tropes I want them to fit

plus I find that I prefer my “self inserts” as not actually being self inserts but more like, “semi-self inserts” cause more often than not its what fits better for the kinda story I’m trying to tell : like I see a selfinsert as being a caricature of ones self, like your selfinsert acts just as you would if you were placed in x setting, but I would see a “semi self insert” (for lack of better term) as being a character that’s design is a sona but writing wise doesn’t function like a sona, like their core character traits are taken from my own personality, but isnt a direct representation of me, sense I cherry picked the traits and amplified them or adjusted them to make the kinda character I wanted: 

idk I know most people probably still call that a self insert but I tend to like being very specefic with my laungauge as my brain takes things very literally and at face value (plus I only want to give the very special self insert title to a character that feels like a complete self insert to me) 

anyhow SUNNY! he’s a sweetheart and has that classic headstrong shonen protag kinda personality, he wishes he could be a flirt but hes way to much of a simp for that lmao, their sorta a ditz but manages to have a high enough “charisma stat” to survive without a trainer, very much a classic “>:)” kinda ghost type. probably has some kind of internalized toxic masculinity thing going on, he has a hard time with emotionally vulnerability. He feels he can trust Daisy and he also admires how she can be so strong despite being more timid and emotional, so she very muched helped them with expressing himself emotionally. He’s never had a trainer and previously resided in the ghost type trial site (abondoned thrifty megamart) and now scurries around on akala island where he met Daisy. As a shiny he knows he’s of high value to trainers, which is why he doesn’t want to get a trainer, because he would want a trainer to admire him for him and not his shiny status. plus he find it MUCH more entertaining to watch trainers panic over having lost a chance to catch a shiny. He loves listening to Daisy’s stories about her trainer and the trainers she’s met tho, really he just loves listening to Daisy in general. sense me making more content for this is lowkey just all as a shoutout to younger me who would very much love this kind of misfits mimikyus love at first sight friends to lovers sappy romantic kinda story: I VERY much want to make his general character be the kinda character that younger me would adore~ just less angsty and with the “badboy” underdog gig being more performative. Like I need to combine the nick wildes and discords and misunderstood villains with the oopsie bears and spikes and sidekicks. also making em’ queer and autistic af. Not just cause I’m queer and autistic, but cause I think a lot of the characters I adored as a kid was for sure because of gender envy or a subtextual queer and autistic coding kinda thing that resignated with me tho i couldnt yet understand. so I think it’s fitting for that part to be important with the “shout out to younger me’s tastes in fiction” theme: He likes Daisy for her sincerity, calming aura, intelligence, perseverance, and her rebellious streak/ rarer moments of self confidence

DAISY! she’s shy and timid, but stronger than you’d think. She DID have a trainer and lived in the kanto region before being gifted down to her trainers younger sister, who moved to alola with their father, where they got lost from each other, Daisy is under the impression she was abandoned. She’s more of the mysterious ghost girl kinda ghost type but has a small mischievious streak. she’s been on her own before plenty but she’s never really been alone in human inhabited areas, so being trainerless in the shopping center streets of akala is very much a new experience for her. She tends to be reserved and while she would like to assume the best in others she generally assumes others to be “mediorce” at best until proven otherwise (in contrast to Sunny where someone can be a fucking bitch and unless if they were being a bitch about a manga he likes he will forgive them immediately, if it’s the later he deep down deos forgive them but will hold that grudge against them f o r e v e r) keeping up with the shout outs to past me Shes def inspired by like, raven queen, fluttershy, cerise hood, fucking elsa and other characters from my child hood that come up when I try ot think of the vibe I want her to have. also yall can hc her sexuality and gender as whatever you want, sense Sunny’s (trans masc) nonbinary she doesnt just like guys at least. if I give her a canon sexuality it will probably be polysexual or smth: Sunnys already pan cuz I’m pan but Idk if she has bi wife energy or not. While she’s stubborn and headstrong in her own way, (she does battle afterall) she genuinly tries to stay out of trouble. she’s a very gentle person. She struggles with making friends sense shes quieter and she also jsut finds it hard to click with someone conversation flow wise. Sunny likely encourages her to talk more but doesnt force her too, so their conversation flow clicked properly for Daisy. She likes Sunny for his chaotic neutrual vibes, energetic passion, and his softer caring side

[after-witch]

Hey! It’s me! The anon who said they were reading Small Spaces with their mom! We just finished the last book and ;; we’re kinda bummed with the ending. Though I’ve noticed a lot of people are. The fact that they led up to the smiling man to be some sort of tragic/lonely figure and then promptly didn’t resolve any of it was sort of a major bummer. We have more questions than answers. But yk, the more brainworms I have about the guy the better tbh. More stuff to stew up in there. Gives us stuff to talk about. (while waiting for the audible credit to listen to empty smiles -libby didn’t have it- I picked up The Invisible Life of Addie Larue since I saw you talking about it and it was absolutely amazing. Currently trying to get my mom to read that too lol.) We’ve kinda made ourselves a two person book club. Haha! Thanks to you and your blog we have a new thing to do together. Thanks Theo! (Oh! And would you ever have any plans to write any fics for Luc?)

Hey!! I also had mixed feelings about the ending. It felt very rushed. I kind of wonder, and I feel bad for writing this because maybe it's not true at all, if Arden wanted to focus more on her new book, which she said she'd been writing for 5 years, and sort of whipped through it. Since the series wasn't originally intended to be more than one book, maybe she got contracted into a quartet and found it hard to finish. I also remember she said somewhere that the original concept wasn't a carnival but something radically different (This like avant garde puppet show based on a real puppet show) so maybe she ended up having to scrap original thoughts/drafts/etc and rewrite something new.

Regardless, definitely feels like there's about 20-30 pages of story missing.

I really like the audiobook for Empty Smiles, particularly the Smiling Man dialogue. I really love the narrator's choices for some of the dialogue. "Save me from stubborn girls" had me kicking my legs.

I'm glad you guys were able to read the series together!! Really, ahh thank you for sharing, idk I'm being really sappy but I just love that it's something you guys get to do together. And that you're continuing it with more books!

Ahh The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue! I'm glad someone else recommended it. I really enjoyed it. I don't have any plans to write for Luc, but I do find him intriguing. If I did write for Luc, it probably wouldn't be romantic,

Did you know that Katherine Arden's new adult book coming out in 2024 is described as being The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue meets All the Light We Cannot See? I hope you and your mom pick that one up when it comes out!

[anonymolly]

8, 15, 40, 71.

-T

8. Describe your crush

I always describe my dom who is no longer on here because I don’t like picking favorites among my mutuals (I have a handful of crushes because I am a softhearted slut). I will copy and paste and add some additional stuffs because I can always talk nice about him 🥰 I’ll bold the new things.

He is sweet and filthy and good with his hands and I love geeking out about D&D with him and because I am hormonal I am legally allowed to say that our kids would have the curliest brown hair and either big brown eyes or big blue ones if they were lucky enough to get his and my recessive genes. I love his voice and I love hearing about his day and I love how he makes me feel. I miss him lots even when we talk a bunch because I truly *cannot* get enough of him. I always feel so safe and comfortable with him and we’re currently working out some kinks in our communication but we’re always trying to be communicative about our feelings and our thoughts, it just doesn’t always mesh. I like him lots and he’s gorgeous and smart and funny and at any point in my life I would’ve wanted him as a friend. I feel really lucky that he’s around right now (even though I’m admittedly kind of a mess and not making a great impression) and I wouldn’t mind him staying forever. Eventually I’ll need glasses bc my eyesight is going and then we’ll have to worry about our glasses clinking and clanging but for now it’s just his specs (which I love, he looks SO GOOD in glasses oh my god I’m melting). He says he doesn’t mind my cold weather and my words leave him speechless and I give him butterflies (it’s mutual ahhhhh). He just makes me feel really comfortable exploring my feelings and my thoughts and my wants, and he always wants me to feel safe to be myself and focus on what I want/need. I sound like an 8 year old whenever I talk about him because aaaaaaaaaaaa head empty no thoughts just heart eyes but he’s really exceptionally lovely and even if he’s just some guy I want him to be MY guy yk? It’s almost enough to make me look past the fact that he is a Southerner (I’m a cunt from Boston)

15. Do you have any piercings?

I’ve got many! Right now, I have 20 (I also have a couple that are no longer in commission— a healed-over eyebrow piercing and a healed-over navel, so I’ve had 22 total but only 20 are still active). I think the only ones I have left that I want are a floating navel and a VCH, but I do miss my eyebrow frequently and I go back and forth on if I want a septum/Medusa/tongue.

But yeah— 20, mostly on my ears but also a nose ring and two nipple piercings. Here are the ears.

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

Ugh yes I write poems when I’m in love. And it’s annoying. The most recent one was from this winter and it’s Long and Bad. My best ones were from when I was in love with the cowgirl down the street when I worked at the deli/meat department. Unfortunately she is now dating a guy who is a cop. But! This morning I texted her saying I was craving the beef jerky she made for me ONCE, THREE YEARS AGO and she responded with “OH MY GOSH I JUST MADE MY FIRST BATCH OF THE YEAR YESTERDAY, HOW DID YOU KNOW” so apparently I am a WITCH confirmed. But yes I write dumb sappy poetry what of it

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

I literally do not know, I very rarely remember my dreams. I remember one where I seduced my professor (who I was TAing for and taking classes with) and fucked him on the kitchen counter at his house while his wife was taking their sick child to the doctor. But idk. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thanks for the asks, T 🥰

[hopefromadoomedtimeline]

hey. you're very cool. and very nice. and beyond funny af. i'm always loving whenever i see your writing or these two engage - which, i'm excited to do more of! you're beyond cool and just a chill presence to engage with - on top of always sending the funniest things. i love the thought you put into trunks and how you balance his traits. you leave such a positive impact whenever i see you on dash or we talk, or in the literal positive asks you send that i appreciate beyond words.

i think you're a strength in the rpc as a whole. you've been nothing but a wonderful experience and wonderful person that i hold a lot of admiration for. thank you for being you and being here. you're great. <3

Maaaaaaaan who said you could say this? I'm supposed to be complimenting other people, not getting the compliments myself :P

It's honestly hard to reply to this stuff bc Idk what to say! I just, man, like!! Who gave you the right to be this sappy??? I'm honestly surprised anyone would think I'm cool, seeing how I'm just a dork writing about a bigger dork (or am I the bigger dork who can say) and I always hope that when I clutter up the dash people don't mind too much. To know that at least one person doesn't mind my presence is really all I can ask for, and if I can make someone smile, that's even better.

Honestly I gotta admit idk if I'd describe myself as a pillar of the community in any fashion since I disappear pretty frequently, haha. But I do try my best to at least enjoy the blog if it's gonna clutter up their dash from time to time. And, you big ol sappy person that you are, I appreciate and admire you as well. You're a very very kind person and I'm glad we've been able to talk after all that time we were lurking on each other's blogs haha. Mortem is literally so cool (and so are Nessie and Marie but you sent this on the former's blog so that's who I'll talk about) and I really enjoy seeing you write for her! She's got such a vibe to her that makes seeing her interact with anyone from old friends to complete strangers that makes it very entertaining to see! I enjoy it very much when I see ya pop up on the dash, and I'm glad to keep doing so. And I'm glad we can chat on discord and send each other dumb memes and whatnot.

You're very cool,

See??? How do you like that, punk??? I can be sappy too and now this whole post is sickly sweet smh smh.

I hope you learned your listen /j

[the-teddy-bear-butch]

I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU TO ANSWER ALL OF THEM OR AT LEAST 10 OF YOUR CHOICE

HA BET. I WONT REFUSE A DARE. I chose 10. Also still fangirling over the fact you like my writing BEE TEE DUBS 🥹

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

Yes!!! While somehow may not be my favorite of my fics, I’m very proud of the world building! I wanted to put an Upside-Down twist on lycanthropy and I’m very excited to flesh that out more when I finally get back to that fic!!! I love golden retriever werewolves as much as the next person, but I wanted a spooky, slimy, Upside-Down demogorgon-y werewolf for this fic!!

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

I have. So many. Let me just link the playlist and pick a favorite to ramble about LMAO

I’ve been thinking a LOT about “Kissaphobic” by Makeout Monday and how it could relate to Nancy “comphet” Wheeler falling for Robin and being afraid to kiss her because it makes it Real.

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is?

I’m obviously very partial to Ronance! But! I have a special place in my heart for Buckingham and Chrickie and even Rockie (if the Duffers give Vickie an actual personality). I think Ronance to me is most appealing in part because they’ve,,, actually interacted, but! They’re both such easy characters for me to project on and write for. I love their dynamic and the push and pull between them?? They’re both intelligent women who can kill you. And you cannot tell me that Nancy, who has struggled and been looked down on as a woman in a male dominated work space, didn’t fall in love with Robin while she was ranting about crybaby Petey McHugh. Jonathan and Steve could NEVER.

15. What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written?

Maybe cheating since I’m two whole chapters in, but she will pull the trigger on you (and the trigger is of love). Allow me to be sappy for a sec, but this fic is a combination of my favorite tropes and my own little love letter to the community of mutuals I’ve been accepted into here on Tumblr. I’m taking all our shared headcanons and common tropes and trying to pack it into one story. It will probably be literally Insane™️ but that’s half the fun of it! And the excuse to write enemies to lovers and SLOW BURN TENSION OH BOY. The inherent homoeroticism of being hunted by a monster hunter!!! BANTER!!! And I just. I just fucking love werewolves okay.

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

Yep. I have written one (1) smut fic. That was?? It wasn’t terrible, I just have NO IDEA what I’m doing and the pacing felt weird and I’ll be the first to admit that I am getting over being kind of a prude LMAO

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?

Definitely! run away (crying to your soul) was my FIRST fic ever, and it’s not even finished, and it’s right on the cusp of like,,, 10k hits? It’s not my best writing, it’s absolute crack, the pacing is Wrong, the dynamics are a little meh, I know I can do better!! But!! It is still my first fic, so I’m proud of it for that! I’m just surprised it got as popular as it did ajskskksks. I’d guess it’s honestly mostly due to the fact that it’s pretty lengthy and when I started it WAS updating very quickly. Idk man, it’s a fever dream.

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

HEY DON’T MIND ME LINKING ONE OF YOURS BUT,,, a never ending story is just… Wow. You can TELL when a writer has experience in poetry and I will lose my mind every goddamn time. I’ve never been good with poetry and I will always be jealous of writers who are able to pull from that to write some of the most heart wrenching prose you’ve ever read. Another really good example is anything by @sapphicriley / khalasaar!!!

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written?

This one isn’t on AO3! I had an angst prompt that I was actually really proud of where Robin and Nancy have an argument, within the SSMH au! Link here!

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

I already mentioned it on 41, and obviously YES. But before that, amongst the rubble and stone by signsoflight. And yes again!! I LOVE outsider POV fics, it’s such an interesting way to examine characters we love and the worlds they inhabit!! This fic does an excellent job of that without the main character being a huge focus! And I just love Nancy Wheeler! Sue me!

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

I have like 6 recently started WIPs RIP. But! The one I’m most excited for right now is a Christmas fluff fic based off a prompt by @gaymessallday ! (I know it’s November but I’m slow and I want to post it around Christmas ahskskskks)

Essentially, Robin and Nancy are strangers on the same flight, get stranded due to snow, and end up stuck in the same hotel room for a couple of days

Boarding the rest of the plane took ages, but Nancy resolved herself to listening to her music and making a game—counting every person in a Christmas shirt—in her head to ease any pre-flight anxiety. A couple in matching reindeer tees. A child in a snowman sweater. A grandfather with an inappropriate Santa joke.

She counted twenty seven by the time the line ended. The seat beside her was empty, and Nancy breathed a sigh of relief—

Too soon.

Twenty eight, a gangly girl with honey hair and the ugliest Christmas sweater Nancy had ever seen scrambled down the aisle. She was apologizing profusely for being late, all the way to her seat—right beside Nancy.

“Hey, sorry, don’t mind if I just scooch in here,” the stranger said, grinning, something lopsided. Nancy gave her a thin lipped smile.

“Window seat, huh? I love watching the cities go by,” the girl continued, buckling in. The safety spiel had begun, but the stranger did not stop. “Of course, I’m not trying to get you to move! The aisle seat is cool too. Less crowded, easier to get up to pee mid flight!”

Nancy was beginning to wonder if this girl ever shut up.

[mediocre-daydreams]

Hi lovely! if it's alright could I ask for an 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞? For the marauders, and i'm bisexual.

I'm Ivy(i'm assuming you know that but whatever) and i'm an introvert until I get to know someone and then all hell breaks loose. I sing, I play piano, and I really want to be able to play guitar. I love reading and writing and I also love ranting about random topics? I'm 5'6 and my style is mostly very comfy until I get a random boost of confidence like once every 2 weeks and I decide to dress up. I could not draw or paint if my life depended on it. And I love candles, cats, , annotating books, and rain.

idk if that's enough but thanks anyways <3

ivy!! ~ your touch brought forth an incandescent gloooow… tarnished but so graaaand…

hey beautiful!! i think you belong with remus.

everyone has this conception that remus is shy, but my guy is a marauder. i think remus is similar to you in that way. he’s introverted, but that doesn’t mean he’s not confident and bold like his friends. when he’s with the other marauders, he’s just as much of a menace—if not more. he’s the mastermind behind all the prank executions, and he never gets caught.

maybe you and remus would have classes together, though he wouldn’t notice you at first. unlike lily who raised her hand at every question or james and sirius, who shamelessly chatted through boring lessons, you weren’t one to draw unnecessary attention to yourself. you were simply a good student with good friends; a good person.

remus would truly notice you when lesson topics became more complex and you were the only person who could understand the material. thanks to the fact that you were one of the only people who actually read the textbook, you were suddenly thrust into the star student position. you’d hand in all your essays on time and professors wouldn’t be subtle when hinting about your Os to the rest of the class. remus, who prided himself on academics, was slightly miffed intrigued and impressed.

he’d probably come up with some excuse to talk to you along the lines of asking you to be his tutor. it was absolutely not because he thought you were cool and smart and pretty and passionate and kind and talented.

he’d hyped himself up all morning until he finally saw you in history of magic, your shared class. he was about to approach you, but damn, he was not prepared for what he saw. see, remus spent a whole week overthinking and planning and stressing over how to get you to say yes to being his tutor, but he had not prepared for you to show up all dressy and beautiful and he was also not planning on the other marauders catching him drooling.

if remus wasn’t able to muster up the courage to ask you out to be his tutor, the other marauders would start meddling. they’d steal your annotated books and put them in places where remus would find them, knowing you’d be searching for it instead of getting a new book, since you’d already annotated your copy. one time, they got a little overzealous and put a sappy love poem between the pages of your book for you to “find,” but remus spotted it in time and then placed all the marauders on a chocolate ban for the next three weeks.

you guys had a lot in common and quickly became friends. sometimes remus felt like he would spend more time with you than his other friends. the marauders didn’t mind all too much; they thought it was pretty obvious that there was some mutual tension going on. you and remus both chalked it off as “the nature of your friendship,” but the marauders didn’t think it was very platonic of remus to have sleepovers in your dorm under the guise of “petsitting your cat.” watching him hold your umbrella in the rain, seeing as he was much taller than you, was no longer platonic once he began strategically holding the umbrella so he had a hand free to hold yours.

remus definitely has musician hands. i think you’d play piano duets together and you’d sing along. remus didn’t consider himself a “singer” by any means, but you thought his deep tenor voice was a perfect accompaniment. remus knew you wanted to learn guitar, and he had an old, beat up one under his bed from when he was a kid. he was nervous to show it to you at first, since it was in rough condition, but you adored it. it was a great excuse for him to cozy up to you as he pressed his chest to your back and reached over your shoulders to teach your chords.

remus is an old soul. he prefers staying in over going out and partying, so he’d love nights where the two of you burned your favorite candle and read together. he loved afternoons where you’d lie on the grass near the black lake, when he could listen to you ramble about your new interests and admire your smile. i think he’d confess his feelings to you by giving you an annotated book, and on the inside would be notes of little things that reminded him of you, scenes in the book he’d like to experience with you, etc.

[wisewastelandandnotsowisesimp]

character bingo-james potter

i am very well aware that this is not really in the realm of my past posts and a couple of things?

marauders? yep. a somewhat funny story about how i got there involving macarons, minecraft bees, physics, and one tiktok person who does an amazing cosplay of this one character.

what about nagakura? i have been detoxed from his bullshit and would like to keep it that way for some time. have found that my urge to rip my hair off has decreased. not for long though, eheh. started playing hijikata's route during this hiatus thing and got did i want to punch him in the face. need to finish it, hopefully soon.

so without further ado:

"got done dirty by the creators"- first off, canonically dead. the author did have an opportunity to capitalise on the marauders as her original fanbase got older and write a spinoff based on that. instead we got cursed child. a part of me was interested in jily's tale and how they got together apart from the bare bones in the canon.

"i am constantly going insane rotating them in my brain like a fork in a microwave"- i want to know why he was so popular, apart from plot convenience. he just appeared like someone who was too perfect, and snape's complaits would have appeared to be jealousy. so i would like him to be fleshed out more, and have him appear more human apart from "everyone loves him even after he died" and "he bullied snape". that being said, i do like some of the headcanons that have been presented like him giving golden retriever and a really really sappy romantic (stuff more based in canon, admittedly).

"I WANT TO STUDY THEM LIKE A COCKROACH"- see above

"what's wrong with them (affectionate)"- rose more from fanfic than canon. but i think the author wanted to instill that feeling for her readers.

"what's wrong with them (derogatory)"- must have been pre bad if it took a long time for lily to reciprocate her feelings. plus arrogance is kinda uhhh, not the best? idk, this one was pure vibes

"i like them but i don't really think about them much"- all in all, at the end of the day, i am sorta moving away from marauders and so that intrigue i have for james, which wasn't really present much to begin with, has slowly disappeared. still there! not as much.

this will probably be my one post that symbolises my time of being in the marauders fandom. also, desi james? it's kind of a vibe.

alas, we did not get a bingo this time either. will it ever happen? will i finish that 2500 research proposal by its due date? find out next time!

note, i do not support the author at all. it cannot be denied that she had a huge impact on our childhoods and so we look to her as a role model. but it is a pity that she is using her voice to propagate such hateful things to people who identify as trans as though this world isn't shitty enough.