#this guy i met last year in june through friends and he invited me and my bestie to his bday party and then didn't see each other until

[asahicore]

sex on the beach - hamada asahi (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact

pairing. bf!asahi x fem!reader

synopsis. You and your boyfriend are horny multiple times during your stay with your friends at Jaehyuk's beach house. That's it. That's the plot.

genre. summer au, established relationship, smut literally just smut but also fluff, you get jealous!asahi, you get needy!asahi, you get dom!asahi, you get super duper in love totally whipped for his gf!asahi, you get everything you want because i'm in love with this man, ig both asahi n reader are switches, this gets like..fairly dirty so beware, i tried to make the friends funny so comedy as well but don't quote me on that, also enhypen hyung line makes an appearance in this cause why not

word count. 14.1k

a/n. if you somehow still don't know this about me, i am in love with asahi. re-reading and editing this was a real fun time so i hope you guys like it and i hope that those of you who are whipped for him as i am think i did bf!sahi justice. pls lmk ur thoughts !! bye bye love you stay safe don't settle for weak stupid red-flag men when a whole hamada asahi exists have high standards besties

One perk of having a rich friend? They always, always have a beach house.

You’d first met Jaehyuk and Sieun in your first year of college, when you and Asahi were in the final talking stages of your budding relationship and he’d wanted to introduce you to his two closest friends. Soon thereafter, he met your own friends, namely Mashiho and Sumin, and when they all gave the other the seal of approval and you and Asahi finally started dating (after six long months of being idiots and blindly pining for the other, but that’s another story for another time), the six of you became somewhat of a loving family.

Well, one of the first things Asahi had told you about Jaehyuk was how filthy rich he was. Being the eldest son and therefore heir to the top law firm of the country came with great responsibility but also great wealth, and even if he didn’t make it painfully obvious that he was more than well-off, one still knew the money was there in the never-tarnished shoes, the new watch every week, the slicked-back hair, and, of course, the many residences his family owned and he always mentioned casually, as if any other person also had seven homes all over the world. 

But you weren’t going to complain, were you? Not when he so easily bought dinner for all six of you, paid for multiple of your monthly subscriptions and invited you all to spend two weeks at his beach house this summer without batting an eye. No need to pay for groceries either, he’d said. And he’d drive you all there in his 8-seat SUV.

Your first summer of being friends, you’d made the mistake of planning an August vacation in June, so the second time around, you made sure to prepare everything in advance so that everyone would be free at the same time. You were always excited to travel with your family, but this was your first time going a trip solely with your friends, rather than inviting a friend on your family vacation or the other way around, and your feet were itching to touch the warm white sand and dip in the deep blue sea that were waiting for you right behind Jaehyuk’s house.

The four-hour drive there feels like it lasted thirty minutes, all of you hyped on iced coffee and sheer excitement as music blasted through the car speakers. Jaehyuk and Sumin sat at the front, Mashiho and Sieun behind them, and you and Asahi in the furthest back seats. When you weren’t all having one big conversation about probably not-so-important topics that you took very seriously as you usually did, you were chatting in small groups, you and Asahi playing with each other’s fingers at the back like middle schoolers that just started dating.

Although some of the tension died down at the two-and-a-half-hour mark of the drive, it all comes back in the last thirty minutes, all of you keen to get out of the car and into the house that looked magnificent in the pictures and videos Jaehyuk had shown you.

The front courtyard behind the massive white gilded gate is big enough to require its own little roundabout for easier entry and exit of the house - actually, now that you’re here and can see it with your own two eyes, villa sounds more appropriate. Jaehyuk has barely parked his car that you’re all scrambling out of your seatbelts and running behind the house to find the path that leads to the beach, not even bothering to take your stuff out of the trunk.

Once you reach the beach, four of you stand there, panting happily and gazing out at the sea. “It’s the sea,” Sumin muses in a wonderstruck voice and everyone laughs at the obviousness of the statement. After some minutes, you look around and notice that Jaehyuk and Asahi hadn’t followed you, so you tell the others you should head back. You trudge back to the house only to find that the two boys have already unpacked everything and Jaehyuk is putting the snacks you’d brought for the trip away while Asahi sits on the couch and scrolls through Instagram, needing a rest after sitting for four hours in the car.

“Right, guys,” Jaehyuk calls out from the living room after unlocking the door upon seeing the four of you approach. You immediately head towards your boyfriend and sit down on the couch next to him, his arm coming up to rest on your shoulder and bring you closer to him. “Let’s choose our rooms.”

Mashiho chuckles, and by the look on his face, you can tell he’s got a stupid idea. “Rock, paper, scissors, loser gets the room next to Asahi and Y/N’s,” he says, making everybody groan in annoyance.

“We’re not animals, you know. We won’t be screaming and banging on the walls,” Asahi defends without looking up.

Sieun sighs and shakes her wrists out, getting ready for the game. “Someone remind me why we invited a couple to our trip?” she says, completely ignoring Asahi.

“Because we’re your dear friends that you love so much and wouldn’t want to spend such a nice vacation without,” you reply, voice saccharine sweet and batting your lashes at your group of friends, but they all just roll their eyes and chuckle sarcastically.

“There’s no need for that, anyway,” Jaehyuk says. “We’ve got eight rooms, so nobody needs to sleep in a room near them.” Your head and Asahi’s snap towards the other directly, looking at each other with a surprised but excited expression. No one in the room needs words to know what you’re thinking - it means that you won’t have to keep too quiet - and your friends groan again.

“Asahi, don’t forget what you just said, yeah?” Sumin warns. “If I have to hear the two of you fornicating, I’ll jump from the upstairs balcony.”

“Dear God,” Jaehyuk sighs. “Follow me, I’ll show you guys the room.”

Downstairs lodges one en-suite, which Jaehyuk takes, and two bedrooms that are joined by the bathroom, which Sumin and Sieun take. Upstairs, there is one en-suite at each end of the hall, so naturally you and Asahi take one while Mashiho takes the other one. And if, on a whim, you decided to invite three more people, you could lodge them in the three separate bedrooms and they could use the upstairs bathroom, one of the biggest you’ve ever seen in your life. 

You gasp as soon as you open the door to what will be your bedroom for the next two weeks. “God, Sahi, this room is huge,” is your immediate reaction. At this late afternoon hour, the sunlight pours directly through the sliding glass doors, bathing the white room in a golden glow and warming the carpeted floor, soft under your bare feet. The glass doors lead to a balcony which overlooks the backyard and its pool, and more importantly, the beach and the sea - an impressive view that you don’t think you’ll get tired of. You set your bags next to the king-sized bed that is probably enough to fit four sleeping bodies, which means you and Asahi will be able to spread out and not suffer too much from heavy summer night sweating. There are two small couches and a coffee table in front of the balcony, the kind that rich people have to fill the empty space rather than actually use. One door leads into a walking closet and another into the bathroom, which has both a bathtub and an Italian-style shower, as well as a toilet, two sinks and a mirror that takes up almost the whole wall.

You’re looking around the bathroom, opening and closing random drawers above and underneath the sink, when you feel a pair of arms wrapping themselves around your middle. You look up in the mirror to find your boyfriend standing behind you, a soft, sleepy-looking smile on his face. You watch him watching you for a bit, until he buries his face in the crook of your neck and takes a deep inhale there, then presses a soft kiss to your skin. “We’re going to have a lot of fun here,” he murmurs.

“Here as in this room or here as in this vacation?” you tease and he looks up at your reflection in the mirror again, locking his gaze in yours.

“Both,” he says after a small pause, which makes your grin widen. 

“I think so too,” you say and turn around, hooking your arms around his neck and leaning in for a kiss, which his body responds instantly to. After a year and a half of dating, there is no more hesitation when your lips touch - both of you know exactly what to do and how to do it. Yet, the excitement never fades, and your whole body tingles every time you find each other like this, as if it was the first time, but a thousand times better. 

Maybe it’s the hours of being in each other’s close vicinity without being able to do anything that make your kisses open-mouthed and hungry, or maybe it’s just your need for each other that never really wanes. You smile into the kiss as Asahi picks you up by the hips and lifts you onto the bathroom counter, your legs opening to let him stand between them as they wrap themselves around him, bringing him even closer. His hands sneak themselves underneath your light t-shirt, caressing and grabbing at the soft flesh of your sides while your own find purchase in his hair, slightly tugging just the way you know he likes. 

He presses himself into you, making you feel just how much he wants you right now, and the contact makes you sigh into his mouth. His tongue slips in, turning the kiss wetter and needier than before. Sadly, a loud voice interrupts you before you can get even more carried away.

“Y/N!” Mashiho calls from behind the bedroom door. “You guys better not be fucking right now, ‘cause we’re going grocery shopping and you said you’d come!”

Ah, your dear friends. Ever so tactful.

You tear yourself from Asahi and pivot your head towards the door. “I’ll be down in a minute!” you shout back. You turn back to your boyfriend and peck his lips, watching him fondly as his eyes stay closed even after you pull away. “You’re not joining, are you?”

He looks down at himself and you follow his gaze, and sure enough, there’s a tent in his pants. “I think I’ll hang back for this one,” he says, a stupid grin on his face. 

“Okay,” you whisper, and peck him again. “Gotta go then.” You hop off the counter and head out of the room, turning around and blowing him a kiss when he calls out “Come back quick!”

As soon as you step inside the gigantic, fresh grocery store, Mashiho becomes a man on a mission. As the self-designated chef of the group, he has planned virtually all of the meals you would be having on your trip and therefore has a very detailed list of all the ingredients he needs. He turns to you and pushes a small sheet of paper into your hands, looking at you and Jaehyuk pointedly.

“It’ll be faster if we split up. I’ll take care of the produce and you guys can get the dry ingredients. Jaehyuk, you’re rich, so I trust you’ll get the nice stuff. Oh, and get some snacks and alcohol as well,” he commands, and before you can say anything, he’s off, pushing his cart importantly. You and Jaehyuk exchange a glance, both of you astonished by your friend’s sudden seriousness, but you shrug it off and head to the designated aisles. 

It takes you something short of thirty minutes to get everything on Mashiho’s list, and then the fun begins. When you reach the snack aisle, you act as if you won’t be able to come back to the store and have to get enough to sustain your six hungry bodies for two whole weeks. The shelves are ravaged and a sad thing to look at once you and Jaehyuk are done with your spree, and the alcohol aisle is shivering at the mere thought of what you will do to it.

Indeed, you aren’t kind to it. You take random bottles to inspect in your hands, looking at Jaehyuk who gives you either a nod or a shake of his head, sometimes gesturing at you to take another bottle of the same kind. He has to go get a second cart just for the beer packs. It looks like you’ll be staying for two months rather than two weeks, but you can always bring them back home if ever you don’t get to the bottom of those bottles.

You meet Mashiho next to the tills, and while he inspects your cart, shaking his head at the amount of alcohol, your eyes fall on a bright-colored firework stand a few feet from you. “Guys, look!” you call out to your friends. “We should get some of these.”

“Ooh, good idea,” Mashiho agrees. You watch as Jaehyuk’s eyes go wide and as he walks transfixed towards the stand like a kid to a candy shop. He takes a scandalous amount of packs into his arms, heaving them into one of the three carts.

“These’ll be nice for our last night,” he says with a huge smile on his face.

“With that amount, I think we’ll have enough for every night,” you comment, but he just tuts at you.

“Don’t spoil my fun.”

You and Mashiho don’t even dare to look at the total cost of your little shopping fun and wince when the cashier announces it, finding sudden interest in the ceiling of the supermarket. Yet, Jaehyuk seems completely unfazed and pays with his card as if this kind of purchase was an everyday occurrence. 

Fast forward a few hours later and you’re already two beers in, laughing at whatever stupid thing Asahi is currently doing. In true summer bonfire fashion, Jaehyuk has gotten out a grill to put over the fire so you could cook sausages, buns and vegetables and eat delicious hot-dogs - not to forget s’mores for dessert. You’re sitting in a circle around the fire Asahi and Sumin prepared, sharing random stories you had somehow not told each other before and hysterically laughing at all the gruesome details of your childhood and teenage incidents. You always love talking to your friends like this, getting to know what their life before you knew them was like; it makes you happy that, despite whatever differences you may have, you’ve now all come together like this. 

Asahi drops his head on your shoulder in delight as he bites into the s’more you made for him, the marshmallow cooked just the way he likes it - gooey and sticky on the outside but still a bit raw inside. Sieun looks at you two with a fond smile on her face but shakes her head nonetheless. “I miss the times when Asahi was scared to even look at you when we were around,” she jokes, the others nodding their heads in agreement.

“Don’t say that!” you reprimand lightheartedly. “He’ll get embarrassed and go back to his ways if you guys tease him.”

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here!” he complains, pouting slightly.

“Sorry, baby,” you say, looking down at him with a huge smile on your face, and everybody groans in unison. 

Conversation resumes and you all continue chatting, laughing and drinking until the late hours of the night, when the sun has fully set and the fire in front of you is your main source of light. You and Asahi huddle together for warmth, sometimes accidentally falling into your own world and giggling when you feel his hands travel a bit too far up your thighs, but quickly returning to your friends when someone calls out one of your names. You only decide to put the fire out and head to bed when Sumin yawns, causing Jaehyuk to yawn as well, in turn making you yawn, until all six of you have yawned in quick succession, bursting into laughter at your strange acapella.

Asahi has drunk his fair share of beer and cranberry vodkas so the short walk home becomes a whole trek with you having to hold him up the whole way. It doesn’t help that he thinks this is the funniest thing ever and keeps on giggling as he rests all of his weight on you. Thankfully, you’d had your last beer some three hours ago and had practically sobered up while Asahi partied on.

You manage to get him to your shared bedroom, but to your despair, your boyfriend is at the level of drunk where he’s not passed out or vomiting everywhere but he has no filter left and says absolutely everything that goes through his mind. You curse yourself for having once wished to get inside your boyfriend's head and know every single thought of his.

As soon as you push him down on the bed, he looks at you with a shit-eating grin and giggles again. “Ooh,” is all he says, but you roll your eyes at him.

“Sit up and drink some water, then have a painkiller, baby. You’ll thank me tomorrow,” you say, planting a bottle of water and some pills on the nightstand. 

“Yes, ma’am,” he slurs, his giggles never stopping. “You looked really hot today, you know,” he says between sips. “Hey, where are you going?!” he calls out after you as you head to the bathroom.

“Just going to change, baby.”

“No need to put your PJs on,” he teases in a sing-song voice.

You ignore him and change into light sleeping clothes then do your skincare, too lazy to take a proper shower. You come out to find Asahi scrolling through his phone, surprisingly still awake but a dazed look in his eyes, like he’s not really watching whatever’s playing on his screen. His eyes come into focus when he sees you approach and he smiles at you sleepily.

“Hey,” you say softly, getting into bed next to him. “I thought you’d be asleep by now. Why don’t you get more comfortable, get those clothes off, hm?”

His gentle smile turns into a smirk at your words, and you can already tell what he’s going to say next. “Too tired. Do it for me?” he asks as he lets his arms hang on his sides, pretending to be innocent. You sigh but oblige anyway, helping him out of his t-shirt. “Are you going to do naughty things to me?” he provokes, that smirk still plastered on his lips. 

“No. No funny things tonight, mister. You’re way too drunk-”

“But-”

“No buts,” you say, ignoring his whines as you help him out of his t-shirt. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m not that drunk,” he insists, giggling again when you unbutton his shorts and pull them down his legs. “Look,” he says, pointing to his growing erection. “Would I be able to do that if I was too drunk?”

“Wh- how are you hard already, Sahi?” you ask, baffled by your boyfriend’s impressive bodily prowesses, and the words seem to get to his dick because you see it twitch under his boxers. “I haven’t even done anything yet…”

“Yet?” he echoes, a hopeful tone in his voice. He sees you’re about to deny him again, so he takes your hand and presses it lightly to his erection. “Please… I can do all the work, if you want,” he pleads, trailing soft kisses up your arm until he reaches your neck. “Hm? I already feel more sober.”

You sigh, more so in pleasure at feeling your boyfriend’s lips against your skin than in annoyance. “Fine,” you comply, pretending like you’re doing this for him, when really you’d been craving to get him alone all day and had been disappointed to see him so drunk, thinking he wouldn’t be able to do anything - so this comes as relief to you.

“Thank you,” he whispers against your lips, smiling, before diving into a kiss. You can tell he’s impatient because he doesn’t waste much time before pulling your t-shirt off, smirking when he sees you’re wearing your black lace panties - his favorites. “I have to taste you,” he groans as he helps you lay on your back against the soft mattress, then starts making his way down your body, stopping for a moment to suck on your nipples just to tease you a bit. No matter how restless he was, he always liked making you needy for him before he gave you what you wanted.

Your core is throbbing by the time he reaches it, and you’ve already hurried out of your underwear, making him chuckle. “I thought I was the needy one here…”

“Shut up,” you whine, and he indeed does shut up as he licks up a firm stripe between your folds, his tongue finding your clit immediately. You’re glad he doesn’t tease and instead sucks and licks like his life depends on it, the sensations making you feel light-headed. Within seconds, you’re a moaning mess under his tongue, and he needs to keep your thighs open lest you snap them shut around his head in overwhelming pleasure.

He only takes breaks to catch his breath and murmur dirty things against your thighs, biting at the skin there. “Tastes so good, baby. I’ve been waiting all day for this, and I’m gonna do this every single fucking day, too.”

Raising your body on your elbows was a bad idea because the sight between your legs takes your breath away. Your sweet boyfriend has his eyes shut tight and his eyebrows furrowed together in deep concentration as he drinks from you like a parched man would from a well. One hand has snuck its way onto your belly, simply resting it there, while the other has gone down to palm himself through his boxers. He seems more intoxicated by you, your scent and your taste, than by the alcohol in his system. His hums and moans vibrate against your core, and the thought that making you feel good makes him feel good is what sends your body reeling.

“Fuck, Sahi, I’m so- ah, so close,” you moan, tugging harshly at his hair and getting ready for your orgasm, until he suddenly pulls away from your core and positions himself over you, the absence of the warmth of his tongue making you whine. Just as you’re about to protest, he pushes his cock into your hole, making you gasp at the abrupt but not unwelcome intrusion. He bottoms out immediately, filling you up as he always does.

“Sorry, princess, needed you to cum around my dick instead. Wanted to feel- fuck- all of you,” he moans into your ear. At first, he holds his weight up on his elbows, each one resting next to your face, and kisses you hungrily. The intense pleasure makes it hard to kiss and you share so little oxygen as you breathe into each other’s mouth that it is dizzying. But then, when it gets too much, he rests half of his body on yours, holding himself up on one arm so he can keep on thrusting at a rapid pace. His moans are muffled into your hair, and you know he’s close when he starts using his thumb to play with your clit and bring you to climax at the same time as him.

Quickly enough, your orgasm bubbles at the surface again, and as soon as you let him know you’re close, Asahi is begging for you to cum. “Sahi…” is all you can moan as you cum, walls clenching around him and pulling his release out of him and right into your hole. He sighs deeply as he softens inside you and buries his face in your neck. You don’t need to see him to picture his peaceful, content expression, but you also know your boyfriend and he could fall asleep at any second now, so you have to push him off of you to clean the both of you up and have a quick trip to the bathroom.

You have a sip of water and turn the fan on high before you snuggle yourself in his embrace, his arms wrapping themselves around you in a tight hug. The room is already hot from the weather and your shenanigans have only made the temperature rise, so you know you wouldn’t be comfortable in this position for long but you let yourself fall asleep anyway, simply happy to be here in your boyfriend’s arms.

-

One thing about hungover Asahi is that he always sleeps in late, so you know better than to wait around in bed for him and get up soon after you awake. “Sleeping the alcohol off,” he calls it.

You’re the first one up, so you decide to cook your hangover soup that receives praise from Mashiho himself for your friends that may have abused alcohol last night. Soon enough, they come trudging out of their rooms one by one, looking tired and as if they might get sick any minute. When she sees you’ve made your soup, Sumin hugs you for so long you think she might have fallen back asleep on your shoulder. You and Sieun are the only ones that don’t look like they’re dying - you, because you didn’t drink much, and Sieun, because she’s got superhuman drinking abilities.

Your sleeping prince comes out last and heads for the couch immediately, finishing off his night for thirty minutes there before getting up again and having some soup. He’s already not the most talkative person on earth, but when tired and hungover like this, he truly becomes a man of few words; whatever he says probably wouldn’t make much sense anyway. He kisses the top of your head as a thank you and hunches over his bowl of soup, drinking it like it’s elixir, and burps for good measure once he’s done eating.

After that, even if it’s past noon, the day is slow to start. But that’s okay, because you’ve got plenty of time anyway. None of you have enough energy to do much more than sunbathe and play around in the sea all afternoon, so that’s exactly what you do. Sieun is the only one who manages to make your lazy bodies move, forcing Jaehyuk to show her where the beachvolley net and everything you need to play it are stored, then making you play with her. They put you and Asahi on different teams, because you are both so bad that having the two of you on the same team is a great disadvantage and wouldn’t be fair to the third person playing with you. You spend most of the time doing nothing at the back and pointing as you laugh at each other, anyway.

Swimming in the sea makes you hungry, so you all head back inside for ice cream and snacks and take seats around the back porch table, playing made-up games of cards. When it’s time for dinner, you pressure Mashiho into letting you help him out, otherwise you know he’ll be complaining about doing all the work in a few days. You only have non-alcoholic drinks that night, and head to bed after watching a horror movie, which Jaehyuk really hated. It’s only night two, but so far, Asahi keeps his promise of eating you out every night, and you make sure to reward him for it.

And just like that, the days pass. You either stay at home and eat Mashiho’s food or go into town for dinner. You go to the bowling alley, or mini-golfing, or at the sea sports center that lets you try out surfing and jet skiing. You eat your fill three times a day and sometimes drink more than necessary. You also get into the habit of napping after lunch, the warmth of the three p.m. sun and your full stomach lulling you to sleep.

One such afternoon, you get a quirky little idea into your head. The boys start playing some games on the Nintendo Switch but you decide to go upstairs anyway and rest before you take on the afternoon. But napping without Asahi’s warmth or at least his presence next to you isn’t the same, and so you’re left tossing and turning in bed.

Your mind drifts naturally to last night’s debacles - how Asahi had sighed your name as he came, how he’d looked at you with half-lidded eyes while you rode him. You barely even notice it when you start rubbing your palm against your core, but when a surge of pleasure hits you, you sneak your hand under your panties and use two fingers to circle your clit gently. But you don’t want to get yourself off, not when your boyfriend is close by and you can ask him to make you feel good, because you know there’s little chance he’d say no. However, it’s siesta time, and you feel too drowsy to have proper sex, which is how you come up with your little idea.

“You’re not sleeping?” Asahi asks as he strips to his boxers and slips in the bed next to you when he’s done playing. You shake your head no, smiling gently up at him, and he takes you in his arms.

“I had an idea, actually,” you say into his chest.

“Oh yeah? What is it?”

You pull away slightly so you can look at him while you talk. “Well, you know how sometimes, after we’ve had sex, you stay inside for a little bit? Just because it feels nice,” you start.

“Mhm,” he hums, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

“Well, I thought we could do that now. Like, to fall asleep, or something,” you mutter, voice wavering out of shyness towards the end and you look away from his burning gaze.

“So, you’re telling me you want me to be inside you, and I can’t move, because we’re supposed to sleep like that?” he enunciates. You nod. “That sounds like torture, babe,” he says half-seriously.

“What? No! It’ll be nice!” you pout. 

He sighs, smiling fondly at you. “We can try, but I don’t think it’ll end the way you want it to. There’s a reason we usually do it after having sex, you know.”

“I know, but I wanna try anyway,” you say, excited by your small victory. 

You pump him a few times to get him hard enough but stop him when he tries to help you, too. “I’m already wet,” you admit coyly, which makes him smirk.

“You naughty girl. Touching yourself when I’m not even that far away?” he tuts.

“I was thinking about you.”

“Good,” he smiles. “So, how are we doing this?”

Instead of answering him, you turn around and lean your back against his chest, one leg hiked up higher than the other for easier access, then tilt your head back to look at him. “Like this?” you ask, pressing your ass against his erection, and he nods. He lines up his tip with your entrance and presses a kiss to your neck. “Okay, ready?”

“Mhm.”

He slips in easily, the both of you sighing when he’s pushed in all the way. One of his arms serves as your pillow while the other holds you close by the waist. You’re silent for a few minutes, pretending to be oblivious to the small groans or sighs that leave the other’s mouth when one of you squirms, trying to find the most comfortable position.

“Will you really sleep like this?” Asahi asks after a while, voice low but with a slight tremble to it, and you can tell he’s trying to reign himself in. Of course, you should’ve seen this coming - maybe you had, but decided to ignore what was very obviously going to happen, fooling your boyfriend and yourself at the same time. He’s been still inside you for at least ten minutes now, and even if it feels nice to just have him like this and feel close to him, it’d be a lie to say you didn’t want him to move and just fuck you properly already.

So, now was the time to ask yourself: did you want to keep the charade up, and tease your boyfriend a bit longer, or did you want to end your suffering and his at the same time? An easy question, of course; the second option was no fun.

You manage the smallest, sleepiest voice you can, and answer him. “Yeah, this is nice.” You’re glad your back is facing him so that he can’t see you smirk when he audibly groans, his grip on your waist getting just a bit tighter.

“Fine,” he says, as if to convince himself, but the way he curses under his breath when you move your hips a bit more boldly than previously tells you that it is not actually fine. “Please, stay still,” he whispers close to your ear, the edge of a whine to his voice.

“Sorry, baby,” you coo, feeling his dick twitch inside you - when said the right way and at the right time, he really loved this nickname, and so did his dick, apparently.

Not two minutes later, just as you squirm against him again, his hand moves from your waist to your belly, pressing down and holding there. “Babe,” he whispers, then takes a pause to kiss up your neck to your ear, sucking lightly on your lobe before speaking again. “Please. You’re killing me, and I know you’re doing this on purpose, hm? Just to rile me up. So let me fuck you, and then we can sleep, yeah? Please?” 

That last word is pronounced with so much desperation that you almost feel bad for keeping this up. It sends a shiver up your spine and you try to hide your smile but knowing you got him like putty in your hands so quickly brings you a bit too much pride and joy. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, baby, I’m not doing anything,” you say in a voice that makes it clear you know exactly what he’s talking about, and he scoffs at that.

“Yeah? Want me to show you, then?”

Just like that, a switch flicks inside both of you. You had him a second ago; now, with six small words, he has you. As he pronounces those words, his hand travels down to find your clit and with two fingers starts to rub lazy circles on it. “Look at you. So fucking wet, and yet you pretend like you don’t want this.” He tilts his head so that his lips are right next to your ears. “‘Cause in the end, you’re just my little slut, aren’t you?”

He doesn’t even let you react to his taunt that he’s already bucked up his hips into yours, harsh. The single thrust has you whimpering - in just a few sentences, he’d managed to break your whole innocent facade down, and you who thought you had him wrapped around your finger were now fully at your boyfriend’s mercy. He thrusts again, strong and deep, the position allowing him to hit a spot buried inside you that gets you moaning like no other, and he knows it - there have been too many cuddling-turned-into-fucking situations for him not to have noticed that you loved this position. And he did too: he had access to your clit with one hand and to your upper body with the other, could feel your whole body against his, and could hit deep inside you. What more could he ask for?

And because he got you weak for him in mere moments, why not add to it?

He settles on a slow and sensual pace to make it easier for him to whisper nasty things into your ear, all while his nimble fingers continue to play with your clit. “I want you to answer me when I ask you a question, baby. I said, aren’t you my little slut? Mm?” he taunts, his free hand making its way to your chin and grasping it, tilting your head so you look up at him, but your eyes are shut tight in pleasure as you mumble out incoherent words. “Open your eyes and look at me while you say it,” he orders.

You struggle to open them, but when you do, he can feel his blood coursing through his veins. Your pupils are completely blown out in lust, and the slight crease in your eyebrows as you look up at him makes you look like you’re almost in pain - if you can call his torturously slow place painful. All he knows is that this is the exact expression you wear when you give yourself over to him fully, and he has all the control he wants over your body.

“Yes…”

“Yes what, baby?”

“Yes, I’m just your little slut,” you finally repeat, cheeks heating up, somehow still feeling embarrassed even in the position you’re in, but the humiliation only adds to your arousal.

“That’s a good girl,” Asahi beams, planting a soft kiss on your lips and letting go of your chin. You immediately bury your face in your pillow in the hopes of muffling your moans, but Asahi is quick to stop you. “None of that, now,” he tuts. “I want to hear you.”

You whine when his fingers leave your clit for a second to hike your leg up higher, but it’s immediately replaced by a loud moan as the new angle allows him to go somehow even deeper. His thumb traces your bottom lip, and you open your mouth wider as if by instinct, letting him simply rest the digit on your tongue; this was a regular occurrence when you and Asahi had sex ever since he’d found out how much you loved his hands and particularly his long, delicate fingers.

“Fa-faster, please,” you manage to say around his thumb, and he chuckles.

“Faster? Of course, baby,” he says, and his pace immediately picks up. “See how easy it is to just ask for things? You know I’ll give you anything you want, so I don’t know why you always act like a damn brat and make things harder for the both of us,” he huffs, his thrusts getting rougher and rougher as he speaks. You hope no one can hear the lewd sound of his balls slapping against your ass.

If your boyfriend wasn’t railing you into the sheets, you’d be thinking, “yes, of course, I can just ask, but what’s the fun in that, when I can get to the same result by teasing you and pissing you off instead?”, but maybe that’s just the brat in you talking. If you hadn’t taunted him like you had, the orgasm probably would’ve been less satisfying - still good, of course, since this was Asahi, but you liked working for your reward.

And indeed, your orgasm is more than satisfactory, especially when your boyfriend wraps his slender fingers around your throat and presses just the right amount, making you gasp for air as you come undone around his dick. He chases his own high desperately, bucking his hips sloppily and rapidly into yours until he finally releases inside you, painting your walls white.

He barely gives you any time to catch your breath and drift down to earth that he’s already slipped out of you only to replace his dick with two fingers, stuffing his cum into your hole before it can drip out. He watches with a smirk as your back arches at the overstimulation, praising you for being such a good angel after he makes you lick his fingers clean.

He uses tissues to clean you both up, then reminds you to go to the bathroom before you fall asleep. When you come back, he’s waiting for you arms wide open, and pulls you into a tight embrace as soon as you reach the bed. He kisses the top of your head, voice muffled when he says “you were so good for me today baby.” You can’t help but whine at the sudden praise, flustered out of your mind from him saying it when you’re not having sex, and hide your blush by burying your face in his chest. 

It’s not everyday that Asahi shows you his meaner, rougher side, but when he does, you always sleep like a baby, your body sore from such intense pleasure. Sometimes, all it takes is a good fuck to sleep well.

-

A few days later, in an attempt to break your drinking-on-the-beach habit, Jaehyuk proposes that you all go out to the bars in New Town. Lucky for you, on vacations, you always pack for any occasion that may arise. Restaurant chic, restaurant casual, chilly evening, sweltering afternoon, beach day, mall outing, clubbing: name it, you have it. 

The dress you brought for an evening out in the town is the perfect balance between summery and sexy: it shows some cleavage and some legs and fits you at the waist but spreads out over your hips and isn't tight over your arms. The fabric is pretty, white with small blue flowers, light and comfortable. But the reason you like it so much is that it was the dress you wore on the day you and Asahi finally confessed your feelings for each other, and you know he loves it as well.

He seats on the bed, legs spread comfortably, as he waits for you. He’d been looking around the room absent-mindedly but his eyes settle on you as soon as you step out of the bathroom, a wide grin blooming on his face as soon as he sees the dress you’re wearing.

“How do I look?” you ask with a smile, spinning in your dress.

Asahi gets up and comes to stand in front of you, hands on each side of your waist, just holding you gently there. He peers down at you with only love in his eyes - in fact, it seems like his affection for you is oozing from every one of his pores. “You look beautiful,” he speaks in a low voice, and you blush at the honesty in his tone. As your friends had mentioned a few days ago, Asahi had been extremely shy at the beginning of your relationship, looking away immediately when you made eye contact and getting nervous when simply holding hands, but now he could hold your gaze and compliment you like it was nothing. If anything, you’re the one getting flustered now.

“Pff, whatever,” you say to avert his attention from your bashfulness, but it just makes him laugh fondly at you. You’ll find another time to get back at him, you think.

“Wait here,” he suddenly says, “I’ve got something for you.”

“Ooh, a gift?” you perk up, but he just gives you an enigmatic style. You watch as he walks over to the bag he’d packed for the trip and unzips a hidden inside pocket, taking out a small box from it.

“Sahi…”

“Stand in front of a mirror,” he says softly, so you head back inside the bathroom, and he follows right after. He opens the box, revealing a silver necklace with a thin chain and the prettiest star pendant hanging from it.

“Is this-” you start, recognising the style of the jewelry immediately.

“Yep. I saw you browse through that brand’s Instagram too often to not get you anything. And look,” he says, holding up the underside of the pendant for you to see: a capital ‘A’ is inscribed in it. He holds up his wrist, showing you a bracelet you hadn’t seen before that looks like a slightly more masculine version of your necklace, and sure enough, it’s got the same star on one side and the first letter of your name on the other.

“It’s so pretty, baby, thank you so much, but,” you murmur, in slight disbelief at the sudden gift, “what’s all this for?”

He pouts his lips in thought as he hooks the piece of jewelry around your neck, letting the pendant rest between your collarbones, then sets his palms lightly on your shoulders, finding your eyes in the reflection of the mirror. “No reason, really. Just felt like getting you a gift, then thought I’d do this whole romantic thing on the beach here but…” he stops here briefly, bending down to press his lips to your neck, making you need to take a deep breath in. “We’re going out tonight, and so many guys are going to see you looking like this… and I know what you’ll say, that I’m the one you’re going home with, but still, it’ll reassure me to know you have my initial around your neck. Even if it's just the two of us that are aware,” he ends with a small smile as he looks up at you.

“Hm,” you hum, mirroring his smile, “I like the sound of that.” His smile gets wider at your words, and he turns you around to press a firm kiss to your lips. You know the two of you, so you pull away before you can get carried away. “Let’s go now so they don’t chastise us for taking forever,” you say, and he nods, eyes already slightly blown-out from the simple kiss and proximity you just shared. 

Because it’s Jaehyuk, or maybe because his family beach house is in a really expensive city, he takes you to a fancy bar that charges ten bucks for a cocktail that probably has two drops of alcohol in it. When he’s had enough of you and your friends’ complaints, he caves in and agrees to take you to a place with a more relaxed atmosphere, and although he “doesn’t see what was so wrong with the last place,” even he has to agree that this new bar, with its decoration that’s cheesy in a heartwarming way, music you can sing along to and beer pong tables strangers can compete against each other on, is a lot more fun. 

You find an empty table big enough for all six of you at the back of the bar. Pushed by your eagerness to drink and the friendly ambiance around you, a surge of generosity hits you and you decide to pay for everyone’s first drink here. Sumin walks with you to the counter, the both of you leaving the table under the happy cheers and whoops of your friends.

There’s a bit of a line at the bar, but at least you’re not queuing by yourself. You haven’t even been waiting a minute for the bartender to notice you that a random guy sitting has already struck conversation with you and Sumin. In five minutes of talking to him, you learn that his name is Jake, that he’s here on vacation with his friends (whose table he points to, the three men waving at you) and that “you two ladies” are welcome to join them for a beer pong match later on. Judging by the four empty beer pints he brought with him and is waiting to be freshened, he’s not completely sober, which you guess is why he’s so talkative. You don’t mind it, though - his smile is contagious and he comes off more as overbearingly friendly than as threatening.

The bartender takes your order of six pints of beer and Sumin’s - who decided she’d also be generous tonight - of six tequila shots. She tells Jake you’re with your friends, but that beer pong sounds fun and she’ll pitch it to them. You wave Sieun and Mashiho over to help you carry the drinks back since they are the ones seated closest to the bar. Jake greets them with a smile then waves as you walk away with your drinks. You don’t notice the way his eyes linger on your figure as you head back to your table, but someone else definitely does.

Asahi hadn’t really paid attention to the interaction at first - you were just going to get drinks. But of course, he always likes keeping an eye on you, just to make sure everything’s okay, and he just can’t help but steal glances at you when you’re in the same room as him but not by his side. Oh, there’s a guy talking to you and Sumin. Whatever, that’s what people do in pubs, right? Chat up random strangers.

You’re smiling at the stranger. Well, that’s fine, of course. You’re friendly, and you’re polite. Why wouldn’t you be smiling?

Now you’re laughing. That guy probably made a joke or something. Laughing is just the nice thing to do! Nothing to worry about.

Finally, you’re heading back towards the table. Finally, that pretty smile of yours is directed towards him and not a random guy - wait, what the fuck? What’s up with that look he’s giving you? The eyeing your figure up and down, the smirk that appears on his face, Asahi sees it all. He can’t really blame the guy - if he thinks you’re the most gorgeous being on this planet, then surely other people will find you pretty, or sexy, or whatever. He just wishes that guy didn’t have to show his interest so openly.

Jaehyuk elbows him slightly in the ribs, snapping Asahi out of his thoughts. “Maybe if you stare harder, that guy will burst into flames,” his friend teases but Asahi just chuckles dryly. He opens an arm when he sees you approach, beckoning you to his embrace after you put the drinks down on the table. He wraps a protective arm around your shoulder and presses a kiss to your forehead, then pulls away to look down at you with a smile. You’re a bit taken aback as your boyfriend is usually not the biggest fan of PDA, especially when it’s not just you and your friends, but you chalk his behavior up to the party atmosphere of the place and to the cocktail he had at the previous bar.

What you don’t know, however, is that he had kept his eyes trained on the guy at the bar when you couldn’t see it. A smirk appeared on Asahi’s face as he made eye contact with him just as he placed that kiss to your forehead, effectively letting him know you weren’t available. The guy - Jake, he found out when Sumin told them about a potential beer pong game - smirked sarcastically and turned away, grabbing his own drinks before heading back to his friends. That should do it.

Sieun raises her shot glass, gesturing for everybody to do the same, and tells Jaehyuk to give a small speech.

“Why me?” he asks defensively, a surprised look on his face.

“‘Cause you talk so well, always saying stuff just to say stuff. Go on then,” she prods, nodding her glass towards him.

He clears his throat and raises the shooter a bit higher, then looks at each one of you with intent. He’s so stupidly serious that you, Mashiho and Sumin can’t contain your snorts, but Asahi and Sieun are waiting expectantly. “I thank you, my friends, for joining me on this trip and bringing fun and happiness to the house. We’ve got four days left here, so let’s make the most of them, and let’s have fun tonight as well. Whoever those boys you guys talked to are, let’s destroy them at beer pong,” he declares, earning himself appreciative hums from the table. “Now, get your salt and lime ready, and let’s do this.” He waits for everyone to get their shot ready. “Alright. To us, and to friendship. Cheers!” he exclaims, ending his speech on a cute note. You scoff jokingly at how lame of a toast that was but bring your glass forth anyway, clinking it with your friends’ as you all echo his ‘cheers’. In almost perfect synchronization, the six of you lick the salt off of your hand, swallow down the tequila and bite into the lime to make the stinging taste go away. You turn to Asahi, giggling at his scrunched-up nose because of the alcohol even though you’re wearing the exact same expression.

Some thirty minutes later, Jake and who you guess are his friends stroll up to your table, asking if you’re ready for the game. With two shots (because Jaehyuk and Mashiho went to get some more) and one pint of beer in your systems, no one at the table is in a mood to refuse playing against strangers, especially if the game involves more alcohol. No one save for Asahi, whose grip on your waist gets slightly tighter, enough for you to notice but not enough to question, but with how eager everyone is to play, he doesn’t have much of a choice.

Jake’s friends’ names, you quickly learn, are Heeseung, Jay and Sunghoon, and they all study at the same university. The ten of you divide into two teams: Jake, Jay, Mashiho, Sumin and you versus Heeseung, Sunghoon, Asahi, Jaehyuk and Sieun. They didn’t let you and Asahi on the same team because your friends hate seeing you happy, apparently.

Except for Jay, who brushes every miss off with a laugh, Jake and his friends are really good at beer pong, and make almost every shot. Although you should be rooting for your team, you cheer whenever your friends succeed in getting the ping-pong ball in the cup on your end, even when you’re the one who has to gulp down the cheap beer. Mashiho, Jaehyuk and Sieun are the pride of your friend group in terms of beer pong ability (Jaehyuk and Sieun say they practiced to ‘impress the ladies��� while Mashiho just has a natural talent for that kind of stuff). To your dismay, however, whenever it’s your turn to drink, it’s Sieun’s turn to shoot, and by the second time she lands a shot, you know you’re not finishing this game sober. When it’s your third time having to drink, you complain she’s gonna get you wasted, and Jake suddenly grabs the drink from your hand, gulping it down quickly. He waves you off with a smile when you thank him, and you’re surprised by his hero-like behavior. 

Asahi, whose turn is after Sieun’s, is lucky that you’re not very skilled, the alcohol not helping, and so that he doesn’t have to drink. Asahi. Right, Asahi. He’s not usually this quiet during night-outs, liking to watch your drunk friends’ reactions to his stupid grimaces and skits, but he doesn’t seem to want to participate in the fun tonight. On your third go, you warn your teammates to not expect too much. You pick up the small ball and lift your arm, ready to aim aimlessly, until you feel a warm hand wrapping itself around yours and a presence, ghost-like behind you. Without a word, Jake moves your hand and helps you throw, delivering a perfect shot. But you wouldn’t have known the ball had landed in a cup had the cheers around you not been so loud, because you weren’t looking at the ball’s trajectory.

You were looking up at your boyfriend from across the table. His arms are crossed and his eyes are so focused on something - or rather, someone - that he’s squinting hard, almost angry. But he’s not looking at you. You follow his gaze until you reach Jake, who’s smirking back at him as if victorious, and everything falls into place.

Your boyfriend is jealous.

Now, this is a rare occasion. Even if you and Asahi are both the type to be completely oblivious when somebody is flirting with you, or even when you’re accidentally flirting with somebody, you always notice when someone is flirting with the other. However, when that happens, you just stride up to them and the other person and make it clear that you’re dating so that the other person doesn’t embarrass themselves further, and then you head home and laugh about it. There is too much trust in your relationship for there to be that much jealousy - just a normal amount, things like “let me know who you’re going with and when you’ll be back,” “and who’s that person?” or “but we haven’t hung out much this week, can you stay with me this one time?”. Most importantly, you never do anything to make the other jealous on purpose, and if one of you has a bout of jealousy, you talk about it.

But that look in his eyes, the way he’s staring Jake down and the way he doesn’t even seem happy when he lands the shot, making Jake drink - he’s so obvious. He’s probably not even trying to hide it. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you just a tiny bit proud. You like these sides of Asahi that he keeps hidden most of the time, and possessive slash jealous Asahi in particular is very hot. Your favorite part about it is that right now, he’s acting like he’s all tough to ward Jake off, but you know he’ll be putty in your hands as soon as you get home, and you can’t wait.

You really can’t wait.

You sneak over to the opposite team’s side and snake your hands around your boyfriend’s waist when you reach him. You look up at him but he avoids your gaze, making you smile fondly.

“Sahi.”

“Hm?”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t it be?” he answers, finally looking down at you briefly, as if exchanging a glance will convince you.

“If I told you I wanted to go home,” you start, voice dipping a bit lower, “really badly,” you say as you trail a finger up his bare arm, satisfied to see goosebumps appearing on his skin, “would you come home with me?”

That gets his attention for sure. “I’ll go get our stuff,” he says before disappearing. He’s back in thirty seconds and you’ve barely had time to tell your friends you were leaving that he’s practically dragging you out of the bar.

“See you around, Y/N,” Jake says, but your boyfriend doesn’t let you answer.

“No, she won’t.”

You try hard to bite back a smile but as soon as you’re outside, the streets still bustling with young people trying to find a nice place to drink and the sun not even fully set yet, you’re beaming hard.

It’s not that cold, but Asahi drapes his jean jacket over your shoulders anyway, and you let him do it. You walk in silence, hand in hand, and you can almost see smoke coming out of his nose. You let him calm down for the whole duration of the walk back to Jaehyuk’s house, neither of you speaking up until you’re in the kitchen, standing on each side of the island counter and he’s filled two glasses of water. 

“So, wanna tell me what that was all about?” you say, finally breaking the silence.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lies, staring off into the distance with a slight frown.

“Babe, it’s written all over your face that you’re mad. Tell me why,” you prod, even though you know very well the reason behind his anger.

He sighs and looks at the marble countertop like there’s something interesting there. “That guy… Jake, or whatever his name was. He just… ugh, he just kept looking at you, and touching you, and I fucking hated it. He knew we were dating, I made it very, very clear. It was like he was doing it on purpose. And you didn’t- Why didn’t you- Did you not notice, or something?” he asks, his eyes finally looking into yours as if searching for an answer there. His voice had gone from frustrated to desperate, and that, paired with the crease in his brows as he looks at you, makes you think naughty thoughts. 

You walk over to his side of the counter, never breaking eye contact and wearing a small smile that tries to be reassuring. When you’re finally in front of him, you rest both of your palms on his chest and his hands come naturally on each side of your hips. You think you might melt at the way he’s looking at you, desperately waiting for comforting words or actions, like you’re the only one that can make him feel better about this. 

“As soon as I noticed, I came over to you and we left, baby,” you coo, trailing one of your hands from his chest to his cheek, cupping it, and he closes his eyes as he rests his head on your palm, your warmth coming as a much-needed relief to him. You swipe your thumb across his cheek in a loving caress. “You know I wouldn’t make you jealous on purpose.” You take a step closer to him and his arms wrap themselves around your waist, holding you tighter. “And you know you’re the only one I’d want to go home with, anyway.”

At that, he opens just one eye. “Really?”

You chuckle fondly at your boyfriend. “Of course, baby. Look,” you say and wait for him to open his other eye, then take the small pendant he’d gifted you a few hours ago and turn it around in your fingers so that the engraved ‘A’ is blinking up at him. “I literally have your initial around my neck.”

This should be enough to convince him, and maybe it is, but he decides to push it further anyway, coaxing more reassurance out of you. His eyes drop to the floor and his lips form a pout as he murmurs, “How do I know you’re telling the truth, though…”, then sneaks a glance at you, as if to gauge your reaction, and you understand immediately what he wants.

“Do you want me to show you, instead?” you ask, face so close to his that your whisper fans over his lips. You mirror his smile when he nods shyly, which you take as an invitation to press your lips to his, so you do. You want to keep the kiss light and soft, but Asahi seems to be in some kind of a hurry, judging by his fast-moving lips and hands grabbing everywhere they can. You lean back to look at him and push some hair away from his face. “I’m not going anywhere, baby,” you say as you smile and bring your nose to his, brushing the tips together, which brings a smile to his face. “I’m right here.”

When a strong huff escapes Asahi’s nose, you pull away and wait for him to explain what’s bothering him. “I know, I know that, I just… You weren’t looking at him at all, I know that, but he was, and God, I don’t know why but it just pissed me off. Him and his friends, and they were looking at Sumin and Sieun too, you know, but obviously it bothered me more when they looked at you. And it makes sense ‘cause you’re the prettiest girl ever, and who wouldn’t look at you, but also I want to be the only want to look at you, but also it doesn’t matter as long as you’re only looking at me, but-”

You cut him off with a peck. “I only have eyes for you, my love,” you whisper against his lips. “C’mon,” you say, taking him by the hand and leading him to the bedroom - you’re not going to risk having one of your friends come home and walk in on you giving head to your boyfriend in the kitchen.

When you get to the bed, you push gently down on his shoulders so that he sits at the edge of the mattress. Your eyes never leave each other, and the expectant look he wears paired with the fact that he’s handing over the control to you for once makes you want to do all kinds of things to him. However, you have a very set goal you must stay focused on for tonight.

You take a step between his legs and his hands come up naturally to your waist. There is only love and awe in your gaze as you brush your hands through his hair and all around his head until they come down to cup his face for a second, then continue their way to his shoulders. His eyes are closed as if he wants to focus on your touch only, and they stay that way even when he starts to feel you unbuttoning his shirt slowly and take the light piece of fabric off of him, leaving his upper body naked.

You sink down to your knees in front of him, tracing a fingernail down his chest and abs and watching as his muscles flex underneath your teasing touch. You take your time just tracing patterns on his skin and leaving kisses here and there, and by his growing erection and the way he’s grabbing at the sheets behind him you can tell that even with how much he wants you to stop playing around, he also wants to be patient and good for you.

Your hands come down to his knee and you rub up and down his thighs a few times, getting closer to his inner thighs and to his erection every time until you finally press a palm over it, smiling when he releases an audible sigh at the small relief you’re finally giving him.

“You have no idea how much I love you, Sahi,” you say in a low voice as you start unbuckling his belt, still taking your sweet time. “I’d do anything to make you happy, and I want to be the only one who can make you feel good, so don’t ever think I’m looking at anyone else.”

He lets out a low hum in response, and you press a kiss to his lower belly before fully undoing his belt and his trousers. You ask him to raise his hips so you can take them off along with his underwear, and you finally have him fully naked in front of you. His eyebrows are creased and his breathing is already heavy and irregular without you having done much. He can’t even stop a moan from leaving his lips when you take him in your hand and start to very slowly bring your palm up and down his shaft, using the precum that’s already started to gather at his tip as lube. Your other hand is on his thighs, caressing it gently and sometimes grabbing at the skin. “So hard for me, hm?” you murmur, just to rile him up a bit.

When you start to pick up your pace just a bit, you bend your head down to press kisses to his thighs and bite the soft, sensitive flesh of his inner thighs to leave red marks there. At this point, his head is thrown back in pleasure, and with the house fully empty, he is not afraid to be as loud as he wants. Strings of curses and your name are constantly escaping him as well as groans and whines when something feels particularly good. When you lick a long stripe up his shaft and circle your tongue around his tip, he’s practically a gone man, his loud moans filling the room as he tries and fails to not buck his hips up into your mouth. 

You come up for a breath of air, replacing your mouth with your hand so he doesn’t lose his momentum. “Are you gonna cum for me, baby? Make a mess all over my hand?” you taunt right before taking him back in your mouth, going down on his cock as far as you can. In mere seconds, you feel his thighs start to shake underneath your palms and his moans start to get higher in pitch, a sure sign of his climax being close. Usually, you’d swallow around his cock, but you’ve got another idea for tonight so you pull away and jerk him off as fast as you can while playing with his balls.

“C-coming…” he warns uselessly as ropes of his hot, white cum shoot all over his stomach and on your hand. You don’t let him calm down before taking his chin in your hand and tilting it down to make him look at you as you lick your fingers clean first, then his stomach, the taste of his cum and sweat filling your mouth. 

“Fuck, you’re hot,” he breathes out in disbelief when you’re done with your little show, making you chuckle. He lets his body collapse onto the bed and you follow him, resting on your side with your head on your palm so you can trace your fingernail over his bicep and look at him as his breathing slows down, eyes closed and smiling peacefully. Your pretty angel. Only you get to see him like this, and you’re eternally grateful for that honor.

“I should get jealous more often,” he jokes after a few minutes when you thought he’d fallen asleep.

“I’ll always remind you that you’re the only one I want,” you whisper, making him open his eyes to look at you. That’s when he realizes that you’re still fully clothed while he’s butt naked. 

He sits up, and before you can say anything, he’s taken your spot on the floor, kneeling at the edge of the mattress, and he pulls you towards him by the hips. His hands ride up your thighs, pushing the skirt of your dress over your hips to reveal your soaking panties to him. “God, you’re so wet,” he marvels at the sight of the wet patch on your underwear. You hadn’t even realized your core had been aching this whole time, so focused you were on making him feel good.

“You don’t need to, Sahi-”

“I want to,” he says, effectively cutting you off, then licks a stripe up your clothed core, the simple action enough to have you whimpering. Something - maybe your scent, or your taste, or the sounds you’re making, or all three - seems to take over him, and suddenly he’s a starved man. Not even bothering to take them off, he pushes your panties to the side and starts sucking at your clit so hard it’s almost painful, but the sting only adds to the pleasure. He’s always passionate when he eats you out, but this is another level of desire and eagerness to make you feel good that just makes your whole body weak and your throat raw with how much you’re moaning.

The knot in your stomach is already close to bursting not even a minute in, so you force Asahi to pull away and gesture for him to get on the bed, “please” and “I need you” leaving your lips like they’re the only things you can say. He’d usually chuckle at your impatience, but this time, he obeys you without a word, eyes half-lidded and blown out with lust, and cock already hard again.

He sits up on the bed, back against the headboard, and urges you to come and straddle his hips. Even now you’re still too restless to take your underwear off so you push it to the side once again as you line yourself up with his tip and sit down on him, bottoming out quickly. He gives you no time to adjust to his size before thrusting up into you, hard and desperate, and you’re so wet that he slips right in anyway. You’re a moaning mess on top of him, and he’s a moaning mess underneath you. Your hands can’t stay still, going from holding onto his shoulders, to clawing at his back, to tugging harshly at his hair. His arms are wrapped around your waist, sometimes holding you by the hips and bringing you down onto his cock just as he bucks his own into yours.

One of the reasons that you love sex with Asahi, other than the fact that you love him more than your heart can handle, is that it is always different and exciting. Tonight, you’re absolutely lost in each other, rendering your body to pleasure and your desire for each other. His scent takes up all of your senses, the pure bliss he is making you feel is intoxicating and you can’t think of anything else, only him. And judging from the expressions and the sounds he’s making, he feels the same way.

It all gets too much; he’s hitting the exact right spots and touching you just the way you like it, like you won’t break, like you’re solid under his touch and he can hold on tight, even leaving bruises. All you can do is collapse on top of him and hope he has enough strength for the both of you. His grip on you fastens even further, holding you as close as physically possible to him, but even that is barely enough. You just want to stop feeling where your body stops and his starts; you want the two of you to become one.

Just when you think it couldn’t get better, Asahi starts talking. The words flow out of his mouth like he’s not thinking about them, and he can’t halt them. “I‘m gonna… gonna cum inside you, gonna fill you up with my cum and put a baby inside that beautiful body of yours. Gonna give you a fucking baby and then everybody will know you’re mine and mine only.” Almost every word is punctuated with a harsh thrust, and you can only moan back in response.

And finally, everything that had formed into the tightest of knots inside of you undoes itself all at once, and your orgasm ripples through your body in waves, your body shaking on top of his as the feeling of your walls clenching around him like they never have before send him tumbling over the edge as well, pulling a second release out of him tonight.

The both of you stay there for a few blissful moments, simply waiting for your breath to resume their normal pace and for your senses to come back down from such an intense high. His hands roam your back and your fingers graze through his hair, anchoring touches as if trying to tether yourselves to each other. 

You manage to recuperate a bit of energy and ask Asahi if he wants to go take a shower to clean up together, which he sleepily but gladly agrees to. He even starts a bath, which you tip-toe into after you’ve soaped each other clean in the shower, not without some giggles, wandering hands and curious lips. You sit back between his legs, letting the combined warmth of his body and of the water relax you.

“I’m sorry about tonight,” he suddenly apologizes after he’d been silently tracing patterns on your forearm for a small while.

“What? Why?” you ask, voice laced with concern as you turn your head, the side of it resting on his chest so that you can hear his heartbeat. Slow and steady, as always. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I did, though. I got jealous for no reason and made you go home earlier on our night-out with our friends when none of it was even your fault.” He buries his face in your hair and presses a small kiss to the crown of your head.

You think for a few seconds before speaking next. “It’s normal to get jealous sometimes. If there was a girl chatting you up even though she knew you were in a relationship - which has happened before, by the way - I’d get jealous too. Especially cause you’re so oblivious,” you tease, and he cracks a small chuckle.

“I can’t argue with you on that one. But you’re not a lot better.”

“That’s true,” you smile. “And anyway, it’s not like either of us gets super possessive or anything. A little jealousy never hurt anyone. And I kinda like it, you know,” you add as an afterthought, smiling shyly as you take one of his hands in yours and play with his fingers. “It makes me feel like you’re mine as much as I’m yours.”

“Of course I am,” he says, bending down to kiss your ear and your cheek, making you giggle. “I’m all yours.”

“Sahi?” you call out after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“Mm?”

“Do you actually want a baby?” you ask, remembering his earlier words, and you feel his body tense underneath you.

“Oh- God- um, about that, I, um- No! No, I don’t-”

“Oh…” you say, surprising yourself at how disappointed you are.

“I mean, yes! Yes, I do, of course I want to have babies, just not right now. But I want to have babies with you, at some point. If that’s okay, I mean. Like, if you don’t want babies, that’s fine-”

Your giggles interrupt his rambling, and he can’t help but chuckle himself. “Okay, babies, but not right now. We’re too young. But at some point.”

“At some point,” he repeats, and presses an umpteenth kiss to your head.

“What was that talk all about earlier, then?”

“Just… possessiveness, I guess. As a disclaimer, I don’t actually believe that you’ll belong to me just because I knock you up, or anything, this isn’t the Middle Ages,” he defends, making you giggle again. “And I don’t think you belong to me, at all. Not more than in the sense of I love you and you love me, so we’re each other’s, if that makes sense.”

“That makes sense,” you reassure.

“But… I don’t know… The thought of my baby in you…” he says, then takes a deep breath as if to steady himself. “Let’s just say it’s a very, very nice thought.”

You stay in the bath until the water grows cold, talking about this and that and feeling the other’s skin under your fingertips. You barely bother to dry off before getting into the bed, letting the other’s warmth and the mild heat of a summer night do the job. It takes you a while to fall asleep because you’ve both got a surge of energy from the bath, and you can’t stop giggling at nothing and planting small kisses all over each other’s faces, hands grabbing at whatever skin they can find and playing with the other’s hair. Around three a.m., just as you decide you need to calm down and go to sleep, your friends come home and cause a ruckus loud enough in the kitchen that it reaches your ears as they, you guess, make late-night ramen to appease their ebriety before going to bed.

Finally, at some point, you let the low hum of the fan, the whoosh of the waves coming to you through the open window and your boyfriend’s quiet snores lull you to sleep, and you fall into the arms of Morpheus with a smile on your face.

-

Because time doesn’t care about your fun, you wake up one day, and it’s already your last day of vacation.

You all spend the morning and half of the afternoon packing and cleaning up the house, or at least the parts you used, even if Jaehyuk hired cleaning staff to come after you left. Still, it’s the least you can do to not leave it disgusting. 

You’re done around five p.m., and you decide to relax a bit before dinner, so you and Asahi head to the beach - for some alone time, he specifies, so that no one follows you there. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what the two are up to - you’ve been spending the whole day brushing past the other and leaving subtle touches here and there or looking at the other with nothing less than sex in your eyes, purposefully trying to rile the other up in a silence game of who will give in first. 

You know you’ve won when Asahi presses into you as soon as you’ve set your little camp on the beach, which consists of a huge beach towel and a wide umbrella to hide you from both the burning sun rays and the burning stares of other beachgoers.

“What did I tell you the other day about being a brat, hm?” he taunts as he hovers over you, planting wet, ravenous kisses to your neck as his thumb plays with your bikini-covered clit. 

“As if you weren’t acting the same,” you say, retaliating by palming him over his swimming trunks. In moments like these, your impatience takes over your want to tease the other, and you often end up helping each other get ready with hungry touches and open-mouthed kisses before Asahi pushes himself into you, waiting for a small moment before setting a quick and steady pace. It’s lighthearted and you can’t stop smiling even when the pleasure sets itself in your whole body, making your blood run quicker and your heart beat harder.

Asahi, who’d been desperately trying to hide his boner for the last few hours, can’t stop himself for cumming first, but he gives you no time to tease him about it, because you’ve barely opened your mouth to say something that he’s already pulled out, replaced his cock with two of his long fingers, and attached his lips to your clit, making you yelp in surprise. His tongue and digits know their way around your core like no other, and in what feels like five minutes, he’s made you cum twice around them.

“What was that for?” you ask out of breath when he’s snaked his way back up your body, after licking his fingers clean of your slick, of course.

“For making fun of me for cumming first. I can’t help it that you feel so good, you know,” he smirks, tucking sticky strands of hair because of sweat behind your ear.

“But I didn’t even say anything!”

“Didn’t need to, you were thinking it hard enough.” You punch his shoulder playfully - you’re pretending to be annoyed when there’s really nothing to complain about when your boyfriend decides to give you two orgasms in a row as ‘punishment,’ and he knows that.

Your bodies feel a bit gross from sweat so you put on your swimsuits back on and race each other to the sea, jumping in immediately without a care for how cold the water feels against your sun-heated skin. Splashing each other and playing around soon turns into making out with your hips hooked around his waist, the sea making you weigh nothing in his arms. You savor his taste especially today because this is the last day where you’ll get to kiss him, wet and salty and like he holds summer on his tongue.

You return to the beach after a while to eat the snacks you brought with and rest some, Asahi cuddling your body and resting his head between your breasts as you read the single book you’d brought on this trip and had read maybe fifty pages in two weeks from.

Sieun’s voice calling out from a few meters away gently pierces your little bubble of warmth and comfort. “We’re getting ready for dinner and Jaehyuk is making us cocktails, if you guys wanna join.”

You quickly pack up your stuff and the three of you head back to the house. “What kind of cocktails is he making?” you ask.

She smiles before answering, recognising the irony of her next words. “Sex on the beach.”

-

That night, as the six of you watch the fireworks that Jaehyuk and Asahi set off and that you’d bought on your first day here, you take a second to look around at your friends and their smiling faces, without a care in the world, illuminated by the colorful lights. You feel your boyfriend’s hold on your waist tighten as he brings you closer to him and lets you rest your head on his shoulder. Wherever they are, I’ll be happy. Wherever he is, I’ll be home, you think. Even if you’ve got years of life and countless adventures waiting in front of you, right now, you’re just enjoying the moment, happy to be here, surrounded by the people you love. It doesn’t feel like it could get better than this, and yet.

Your boyfriend looks down at you and you raise your head from his shoulder to look at him. You smile at each other as the others ‘ooh’ and ‘ah’ at the bright displays of smoke and fire in the night sky. His eyes tell you that there are many more happy moments to come, indeed.

permanent taglist: @k-ingzo @bbujiikseu @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts (ask to be removed/added!)

© asahicore on tumblr, 2023. please do not repost, translate or plagiarize my works. feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

[leatherbelt1295]

Your Daily Smile #2617

@ehan281

This should have been posted yesterday, but I didn't really get a chance to. I spent the previous 2.5 days with EHAN irl, and man they were just so wonderful... I'm so grateful we got to hang out again and do more than we did last time. Went during this time for a multitude of reasons since things lined up perfectly, but most importantly it was like a birthday present to him (5/29) and myself (6/3). We haven't seen each other since October 2017, so naturally I really missed him so much. ;w; That's way too long!!

We got to eat yummy food each day, got to meet his adorable doggy Sparky, met his folks, go through a mirror maze, played a laser busting game?, watch him do little runs of SpongeBob Battle for Bikini Bottom, watch the new Spidey on opening night with his brother, and went to a convention together and even cosplayed which was super fun! I went as Peppino Spaghetti from Pizza Tower (so if by chance you were there on Friday and saw Peppino, it might've been me!) and he was an excellent Cameron from Ferris Bueller Day Off. It was cool how often we were recognized, heheh. Really nice to see people's faces light up like that. Of course, we saw a lot of great cosplays too! Here's a few I saw myself that I got pics of, really nice stuff!

We got to play my favorite beat-em-up The Simpsons by Konami, and I'm glad EHAN and his brother really enjoyed it too! Really cool stuff all around, found plenty of gifts for my folks at home but also a couple things for me. Oh and Petra stuff and even comm'd a Petra for EHAN. :]

I haven't been to a con in 7 years, so being back at such a fun one was something I absolutely needed and appreciate immensely. Good times all around! I'm happy he and his brother enjoyed themselves too.

Here's my loot, though only the Jolteon and black shirt are for me.

We headed to Red Robin later on, and that was nice too! At least for me and his brother. :)

I went with the intention of recreating a certain Bocchi the Rock comic to EHAN. :))

And it worked. :)))

And the waitress didn't believe him when he said it was my birthday too. :))))

Ended the night with some 3 player Mario Party 2 on Pirate Land. We lost to the CPU DK because of usually MP shenanigans lol. Still fun!

And followed that up with me and EHAN rewatching Space Patrol Luluco as we do every June 5th, but a little early this time so it could be irl. A wonderful time as it is every year, but made more special being together and having fun irl! I'll be taking about that more on tomorrow's YDS though. :)

Wrapped up the visit with another good breakfast and visiting a lovely park, I really enjoyed that too.

Again, overall, I totally needed this trip and I'm eternally grateful for being able to do so. I really miss him though. ;w;

And I suppose I should mention a bit how my birthday was yesterday aside about half the day being with EHAN. I received gift art from friends through the day, including right at midnight and even today... Y'all really didn't have to... ;; But thank you so much... And to those who I know may read this and wanted to draw me something or whatever the case may be, but couldn't for any reason, just know it's more than okay and the fact that you even thought of me in the first place means a lot to me already. Wishing me hbd means a lot too... 🥺 So thank you guys too!

Even had a big surprise on the flight back home before departure. Someone close to me with connections actually informed the crew on board that it was my birthday, and if they could deliver a message to me for them, which they absolutely did... Even gave me free snacks and water, and invited me to sit in the pilot's seat which was !!!!!?? It was so cool what the heck... I'm grateful for that... 😭

Nice time spent at home with family, always nice to see them. It ain't a birthday without being with em, I'd say. Nice lil gifts too, they shouldn't have... ;; I do wanna show this Hank Hill in particular, gave me a good laugh and I love it, heheh. The Bocchi doodle too!

But yeah, I just wanted to dedicate this YDS to thanking @ehan281 and his brother for a wonderful time and express my gratitude of a happy birthday too. Hoping the next time we meet won't be so long! ^^

[songtwo]

I love the kind of friends who u only meet once never really talk to each other and yet everytime u meet again u hug like ur childhood friends and invite each other to ur next birthday party

[wildrangers]

Summer Lovin' // Matt Boldy

Word Count: 3.5K

Summary: After befriending Trevor during your time away at school, you find yourself taking him up on an invitation to the Hughes Lake House.

Warnings: Cursing, minor miscommunication trope, slut shaming (jokingly aimed at Z, obvi)

Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // Finale

“Are you sure we have everything? I feel like we’re missing something” Trevor said as he pawed through his backpack in search of whatever he thought he couldn’t find. You rolled your eyes replying, “If by ‘we’ you mean ‘you’ than yeah, probably.”

He whipped his head to you and threw his hands onto his chest in mock-offense which only made you roll your eyes again. Why had you decided vacationing with Z was a good idea? Sure, it got you closer to Minnesota where you were planning on spending the rest of the summer but still, the man is a mess.

“You can at least pretend to be sympathetic about me constantly losing things” he joked. You scoffed at him replying, “I’ll start feeling bad for you once you start actually trying to keep your shit in order.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Oh, I recognize this house we’re like 5 minutes out! I’m so excited for you to meet everyone, you’re gonna love them. They’re not quite as fun as me but they’ll do” he smiled as the Uber driver made another turn.

You had just finished up your senior year at the University of California’s Fullerton campus which happened to be pretty close to the Duck’s stadium. Since you were a huge hockey fan, you found yourself at their games often enough that Trevor began noticing you at your regular ice-side spot. He had shamelessly flirted with you through the glass despite you attending most of the games with your boyfriend at the time. You’d found his antics endlessly amusing but your ex hadn’t felt similarly so when he happened to come into your work one day, you made a point of mentioning Greg repeatedly in your brief conversation.

“Well, I just moved out here so I can always use more friends. Here’s my number, platonically given to you, okay?” he’d smiled at you. You’d taken it reluctantly, not wanting to piss off Greg, but when you texted him your own number, he was true to his word—he never flirted with you again, either through texts or at the games. In fact, the close friendship you developed with Z had only made your ex’s insecurities and jealousy more obvious and frustrating. You managed to last a few more months together but broke up just before the fall semester. Trevor and Jamie had actually gone so far as throwing you a celebratory party when you told them once they were back for pre-season training.

“Here we are!” Z announced, pulling you from your thoughts. You took in the large house in front of you and felt some butterflies in your stomach. You’d gone out with Jack and Trevor when their teams were playing one another but you hadn’t met anyone else who’d be there. You were naturally an outgoing person but since you’d be here for the entirety of June, you were eager to make a good first impression and fall into a rhythm with the guys and their girls.

As you made your way up the stairs, Z gave you a refresher on who would be there. “Okay, so you know Jack who also has his girlfriend Sienna visiting. His brothers Luke and Quinn are here, plus Luke’s girl Hannah. Oh, and Boldy should be here by now too” he said, ringing the doorbell.

Your brows furrow in confusion, “Boldy?” you questioned but the front door opened before Trevor could say anything else.

“Jack!!” he shouted as he pulled Jack in for an embrace. You rubbed the ear closest to him and glared at the back of his head—did he always have to be so fucking loud?

“Hey man! Y/N, how was your trip?” Jack asked, giving you a brief hug. “Oh, come on, you played with Z long enough to know that he is quite possibly the worst travel companion to have” you replied, making him laugh and Trevor shove your shoulder playfully. “Seriously though, it was fine. Thanks again for letting me tag along.”

Jack waved off your thanks, grabbing your suitcase for you as he led you into the house. You were quickly introduced to everyone minus Quinn and Matt who were up in their rooms unpacking. Luke and Hannah were clearly still pretty fresh in their relationship and they kept to themselves for the most part. Sienna was chatty and you two clicked pretty quickly, especially once she found out you liked to tease the boys as much as she did. Once it got close to 6, you excused yourself to go unpack before dinner was ready for 7.

Trevor joined you as you made your way upstairs. You were rooming together but both had your own twin size beds. After everything was put away, you grabbed a sundress to change into for the party after dinner. Apparently, the Hughes brothers were pretty well-known around here so they always threw a huge rager to mark the start of the summer season. After freshening up your makeup, you emerged from the bathroom only to collide with a tall redhead boy.

“Shit, I’m sorry, are you okay?” he asked, catching your elbows so you didn’t lose your balance.

“Yeah, totally, no worries” you smiled at him. “I’m Y/N.”

“Matt, you came with Z, right?” he questioned and you nodded your confirmation. Before you could reply, you heard a sharp whistle from behind you causing you to roll your eyes. You soon felt the weight of Trevor’s arm around your shoulder as he said, “Well you clean up nice, Y/L/N, don’t you think Boldy?”

Matt’s face flushed slightly as he nodded his agreement. “Thanks, Z, whistling at women is always a great form of flattery” you said sarcastically, as another boy emerged from behind Matt.

“Huggy!” Trevor called, leaving your side to embrace the guy who you’d find out was Quinn. As the two caught up, all four of you made your way downstairs for dinner. You ended up in a seat between Sienna and Trevor and you quickly found yourself lost in conversation as the meal went on.

‘How in the hell did Z land someone like Y/N?’ Matt found himself thinking. You were beautiful, of course, but he quickly discovered over dinner that you were also hilarious and brilliant, having just graduated with honors the month before.

“Are you guys planning on trying long distance once the season starts?” Quinn questioned. Matt watched your brows furrow in confusion just as Trevor let out a loud laugh. “Oh gosh, that ship sailed well over a year ago, Y/N and I are just buds” Trevor explained once he’d calmed down. Matt felt his heartbeat pick up at this development; he’d assumed by your coziness and banter you were dating.

“I was wondering how you could possibly stoop to dating someone as annoying as Z, Y/N” Luke chirped causing everyone to laugh. “Oh, trust me, it wasn’t for lack of trying on his part” you teased, causing Matt to smirk as Trevor rushed to defend himself. Luke and Hannah offered to clean up dinner so everyone else made their way out to the deck to begin setting up for the party.

As Matt finished helping Quinn with the keg, he turned to find you struggling to hang up the last part of the fairy lights. He quickly made his way over, reaching above your head to secure the lights easily. You beamed up at him as he pulled away, “Thanks, you’re a life saver. I really don’t know how I got this job when I’m the shortest person out here” you joked making him laugh.

Silence quickly followed as Matt tried to think of something to keep the conversation going. But your smile directed right at him had left him a little dazed. “Jack’s not the best at delegating tasks” he managed to come up with which made that smile return to your face. He was mesmerized at how the setting sun lit up your eyes. You opened your mouth to reply but you both turned as Sienna called you over. As you made your way to her, Matt sighed and rolled his eyes at himself. He was always the quietest of this group and that was made worse by his attraction to you.

“Uh oh” he heard from behind him before a hand clapped his shoulder. “Tongue tied, are you?” Trevor teased, causing Matt to smack his hand away which only amused Trevor more. “Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m a real charmer” Matt mumbled rubbing his temples.

“You gotta chill man, Y/N, is super nice. And luckily for you, extremely single” he said. “Her last boyfriend was a real douchebag, that’s for sure” he mumbled mostly to himself.

“Was she with him when you met her?” Matt asked and Trevor nodded. “Yeah, but that’s her story to tell not mine. Let’s grab a drink, yeah?”

The party was now in full swing and you had settled on a lounge chair on the outskirts of the gathering. You were always more of a people-watcher at big events, given you were more comfortable in small groups versus a huge crowd. Luke and Hannah were dancing together while Trevor chatted up a girl nearby. A group including Quinn, Jack, and Sienna had decided on a late-night swim which had thinned the crowd slightly.

You tilted your head back to look at the stars as you hummed along to the music blasting from the speaker system. You heard someone clear their throat next to you and you turned to see Matt standing next to the chair beside yours, “Mind if I join you?” he asked and you shook your head no, motioning for him to take a seat.

“Enjoying the party?” he asked, taking a sip of his beer and you shrugged. “I’m enjoying people watching more than partaking honestly” you admitted.

“That’s surprising, you were chatty at dinner” Matt pointed out. “If I knew more people I might be dancing or playing beer pong but especially after travelling all day, I just don’t have it in me” you explained and he nodded.

A comfortable silence descended as you both nursed your drinks. You found your gaze drifting over to Z again only to find him making out with the girl he’d been chatting up all night causing you to groan. “I feel like I’m going to end up stuck on the couch” you told Matt who looked at you confused. You nodded towards the pair and he sighed in understanding.

“Yeah, I get why they paired you up since you’re his guest but he’s going to be inviting people to spend the night all summer” Matt said. “I was worried you’d say something like that” you sighed.

“You could crash in my bed if you want” he offered. “I think there’s an air mattress in my closet so I could just pull that out.”

“No, I don’t want to kick you out of your own bed. The couch will be fine” you said, though you were tempted by the offer. “Well let’s see what happens but if he takes over the room, just come see me and we’ll figure it out, okay?” You nodded, turning your head to really take him in. He was cute and different from the other hockey guys you’d met through Z over the last year or so. “Thanks, I really appreciate that. How did you get stuck with these idiots? You’re totally normal” you said, making him laugh.

“We’ve all played together for years but I’ve always been a bit quieter than the others. They tend to really take up the room, you know?” he said self-deprecatingly. “Of course, I know what you mean, I’m with Z all the time” you rolled your eyes. “There is nothing that boy likes more than hearing himself talk.”

Matt chuckled and nodded his agreement. “Where are you playing now?” you asked. “Minnesota” he replied, which surprised you. You tended to keep up with the Wild, given they were your hometown team, but this last semester had really kicked your ass.

“No shit, really?” you sat up to face him fully. “Yeah, why?” he questioned.

“After I leave here, I’m heading home to Minneapolis. When did you come up from the AHL?” you questioned. The two of you began an easy conversation about hockey, Minneapolis, and how he was adjusting to the city and all its hockey-crazed madness.

“I don’t even have a place yet honestly” he said shaking his head. “I was just crashing with other guys or at the hotel, there was no time by the time I was called up to look at apartments.”

“I could help you once you’re back if you want” you offered. He looked surprised at your offer and you felt your face flush—maybe you were being too forward or reading into this situation too much.

“I’d really appreciate that; I feel like I barely got to explore the city at all” he continued.

“Seriously, I’d love to, I need an in to get good seat next season” you joked.

“Nah, you’re not fooling me with that” he smiled at you. “I think you just want to spend more time together.” For once, you were at a loss for words as you two maintained eye contact. You felt yourself leaning forward just as a crash sounded from across the way, causing you two to jump apart.

You shook your head at yourself; you barely knew this guy, it was the first night here, and you had way too much to drink if you were already trying to hook up with him. “I think that’s my cue to head up to bed before Trevor stumbles up in a few hours” you said standing up. Matt nodded, hiding his disappointment before mentally kicking himself for being bummed—he was probably reading into things anyway.

“My offer stands, okay?” Matt said and you nodded before waving and heading inside.

Matt stayed on the lounge chair, replaying your conversation. He was interrupted by someone plopping down next to him and he turned to see Quinn, still soaking wet from his swim.

“Why are you moping over here by yourself?” he questioned, wrapping his towel around him tighter.

“I’m not moping, just thinking” Matt said, a hint of annoyance in his tone. “Okay, sure—then what are you thinking about?” Quinn pushed.

“Y/N” he said and instantly regretted it as Quinn went “Oooooh does someone have a crush?” Matt rolled his eyes and smacked Quinn’ shoulder. “Shut the fuck up, we’re not in middle school. I just thought something almost happened earlier but I think I’m making shit up honestly.”

“Nah, you’re a catch Bolds” Quinn grinned at him. “But right now, you’re mostly a downer so I’m going to go grab another drink. Want one?” Matt shook his head and Quinn wondered away. He downed the last of his beer before getting up and heading into the house. As he settled into his bed, he found his thoughts turning to you as he drifted off to sleep.

He was woken up to someone shaking his shoulder. He looked around in confusion; it was still pitch-black outside but someone had turned on the lamp on his nightstand. His eyes found yours and they scrunched up in confusion, “Y/N?”

“I’m so sorry, Z had the fucking nerve to wake me up and kick me out of the room” you fumed quietly. Anger rolled off of you and he glanced at the clock. “That asshole woke you up at 3AM?” he questioned and you nodded glumly.

Matt sighed, sitting up in bed, “Okay, let’s get the air mattress down so you can get back to bed” he said. “Um yeah, so that’s the thing actually” you said, “I pulled it down to try to do it on my own so I didn’t have to bother you and there’s a huge hole in the side. Do you know where another one might be?”

Matt shook his head, “I’m sure there’s more but I don’t want to make a ton of noise looking for one this late. Here, you take the bed and I’ll go down on the couch” he said, throwing the covers back to get up.

“Soooo the couch is actually full” you mumbled, blushing. He hadn’t noticed until now how fidgety you were. As his tired brain tried to catch up with this new development, he realized why you were antsy.

“Shit, alright, um, I’ll just sleep on the floor then, it’s fine” he offered, not wanting to make you uncomfortable by offering to just share the Queen-sized bed.

“No, no way” you argued, throwing the covers back over him, causing him to chuckle. “I was actually, um, wondering if maybe I could just crash in the bed with you? If that’s too forward or weird then I’ll just grab some extra blankets and a pillow and sleep on the living room floor but I figured I’d ask. But, now that it’s actually coming out of my mouth, I realize this was a dumb idea, so I’ll just—”

“Hey, slow down, yeah?” he cut you off, gently grabbing your wrist to keep you from leaving like you were about to. “It’s a big bed, I’m cool if you’re cool. We could put a pillow between us or something if that would make you feel better.”

“Are you sure?” you bit your bottom lip nervously. He nodded smiling at how sleepy and cute you looked thinking over his offer. “Positive, come on.” He said moving over to make room for you. As you pulled back the covers on your side, he leaned over to grab the extra pillow he’d tossed on the floor next to him and placed it between your bodies.

“Thank you, Matty, seriously” you mumbled as you curled up beside him with your back to him. He settled down beside you, turning his back to yours before replying, “It’s no problem, Y/N. Sleep well.”

The next morning, you woke up with your head on someone’s chest. You blinked in confusion, retracing what had happened the night before. As the events of the prior evening returned to your tired mind, you realized that at some point in the night you must have moved the pillow out of the way and curled up with Matt. To your surprise and delight, he had wrapped his arms around you, one hand resting on your waist and the other tangled in your hair.

As you debated how to untangle yourself without waking him, the door to his room flew open. “Matty! You’re late for, oh shit sorry, sorry!” you heard what you thought was Quinn’s voice say before the door quickly closed again. Matt’s hands quickly removed themselves from your body and you pulled away far enough to look into his eyes.

“I swear I have no recollection of how we ended up like that” he said eyes wide, face flushed, clearly worried he had accidentally made you uncomfortable.

“I don’t either but I don’t mind” you said not moving any farther away. His blue eyes were surrounded by dark circles making them somehow brighter. His red hair was tousled and his voice was deeper than it was the night before, still gruff from just waking up.

“Me neither, now that you mention it” he said quietly, holding your gaze. His eyes drifted down to your mouth and you ran your hands through his hair, your palm resting on his cheek. You leaned towards one another as your lips connected in a soft, tender kiss. You felt his hand return to the back of your head, pulling you closer to him. You lost yourself in the feel of his lips on your own, only coming back to the present moment when you heard a commotion outside the door. You pulled away as you caught what was clearly Z’s voice saying, “No fucking way!” before the door once again flew open. You turned to your friend in the doorway and glared at him with everything you had.

“Yes, fucking way because you kicked me out of our room at 3AM you fucking slut!” you shrieked at him, throwing back the covers and racing towards him. Before he could process what you had said, you smacked him upside the head.

“Hey!” he shouted in protest. “Hey yourself! The whole house was full and Matt was nice enough to let me crash here so don’t make this fucking weird, okay?!”

He threw up his hands, “Alright, alright sorry! Jeez, I’m gonna go get your coffee started, you clearly need it” he said but not before flashing a quick thumbs up at Matt. You got another good smack onto his side before he darted out the door and shut it behind him. Your head fell into your hands and you massaged your temples.

“This is going to be a whole thing, isn’t it?” you mumbled.

“Yeah, afraid so” Matt said, fighting back a grin. “It was worth it though just to see you smack the shit out of Z.”

A/N: Thanks for reading! I'm thinking of making this a two or three parter so let me know if you'd like me to continue with this pairing :) Also, thanks for all of the love on Warrior, I plan on doing a second part once we're past Game 4/5 of the series

[writerofshit]

For almost 3 years the crew doesn't know when Matt's birthday is. This is solely because he never brought it up and sometimes the crew thinks he might have sprouted, fully formed, in front of a computer monitor roughly ten years ago. He didn't. He does in fact have a birthday.

When the crew finally realizes this, Trevor takes one for the team in trying to figure it out. He makes a point to bring it up all nonchalantly, 'yeah, Lindsay says you do that because you're a Virg-....Aquari-... Gemini?' complete with arched eyebrows and wide eyes.

And Matt's an observant guy, yeah, but more so when it comes to patterns in bank transactions or when the local donut shop has his favorite donuts available. People, even friends, are another story entirely. So he just shrugs. 'what does me being a Gemini have to do with liking mustard on a hot dog?'

But Trevor doesn't have an answer for that, of course, because it was bullshit to begin with. Instead he mumbles something about stars and time and relish, scurries off to tell Jeremy what he's learned. Which isn't much, sure, but at least they've got a window now.

The entire crew spends a ridiculous amount of time dropping opinions on May and June dates. 'yeah I'd hate to be born on June 2nd. Wouldn't you, Matt?' and 'May 27th is my favorite date for sure. What's yours, Matt?' and 'i've never met someone with the same birthday as me, May 23rd. Have you, Matt?'

And again, yeah, Matt's an observant guy. Most people, in fact, are probably observant enough to notice when an entire group of criminals act really fucking weird about the calendar. But again, Matt's observant about things like tiny movements on camera feeds or that there's not extra onion on this burger, actually. So he shrugs and says 'yeah I knew someone growing up who was June 6th. We used to argue about who could have a party. I always lost.' like this isn't information the entire crew has been fishing for over the last month. They probably could have asked outright and Matt wouldn't have cared.

It's honestly kind of annoying.

The week his birthday rolls around again, they go all out. Big ass fucking party, invite everyone they can think of. Every old friend not turned enemy, crews they've talked about working with but never got around to, minor celebrities they know Matt will get a kick out of toasting in his honor. It might actually be the biggest party or event or goddamn crowd Los Santos has ever seen. All there for Matt. All celebrating this guy most people have never seen.

It's a kickass time. Matt gets hoisted up and sung to, then Michael, then Fiona, then someone Matt is sure he's never met. 'It's a cover.' Jeremy drunkenly yells in his ear. 'So no one knows who's really you.' It's a sentence that's not quite right, but Matt appreciates the sentiment. It's also probably not even accurate, given that he was the first up and they've made him cut a cake on a stage, for some godforsaken reason. It's the thought that counts, though.

All in all, Matt thinks it might be the most fun he has ever had.

Two days later, on his actual birthday, it's almost the complete opposite. In terms of scale, at least. It's just the crew, up in the old penthouse Geoff swore he'd sold. He hadn't, of course. Never could bring himself to pull the trigger on it.

It's pizza and beer and donuts and cupcakes. It's Mario Kart and Ultimate Chicken Horse and a game of Monopoly that's played in teams, somehow. It's stories that reach all the way back to an alleyway, three idiots pointing guns at each other because they had no idea what they would become, what they'd join into. Jeremy says they were 'pretty sure Matt had never held a fucking gun before that' and Trevor agrees wholeheartedly.

They try to pick their favorite 'Matt's playing music over the loud speakers during a fucking bank robbery' song. It's a tie between Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go ('because i knocked out that fuckin' guard and he thought it was funny!' Michael yells. 'who the fuck thinks of that?' and Call Me Maybe ('because god forbid i take one breath before I answer him. I wasn't even in the bank, i was across the fucking street playing lookout! I only heard it through somebody's earpiece.' Alfredo says, rolling his eyes.)

When the night winds down, and it's no longer Matt's birthday but they're still pretending it is, Jack brings out an apple with a candle stuck in it and Geoff cries with laughter. 'you're getting older, Matt, you gotta eat more fruit.' she says. Matt argues that he does eat fruit, he had a lemon lime flavored cupcake at the party.

There's one whole serious moment during all of it. Things get quiet, Geoff not quite meeting anyone's eyes. 'y'know, Matt, we all make a lot of jokes. We call you an asshole, tell you we hate the plans you make. I don't know how many times I've said I regret hiring you, or any of you, really. And, uh, yeah, sometimes it's true.' It earns him a chuckle from around the room, and he clears his throat. 'but seriously, you're, uh, you're one of the best fuckin people I know. All of you are. And we're lucky to have you. We love you, man.'

Nobody cries, because this is a group of hardened criminals who rob banks and blow up buildings and kill people, sometimes, so of course they don't fucking cry. They do, however, somehow all find themselves with a serious case of the sniffles, all wipe totally non existent tears from their cheeks.

No one says anything, for a long moment, not even Matt. He should be saying thank you, or telling them how much he loves them too, or hell, even cracking a joke. He can't seem to find the words, though.

Jack holds up her beer. 'to Matt.' she says. Around the room, various drinks go up almost immediately, and there's a not even close to in sync chorus of 'to Matt.'

No, tonight is not nearly as grand or extravagant as the party two days ago. There are no expensive cars being raced, no crowds of people shouting 'Axial!', no stages or celebrities or fireworks. This is just his family, together.

It is the best birthday he's ever had.

[erensangel444]

wedding bells

eren jaeger x reader x mikasa ackerman 

modern!au

this shit.... is a dream come true! 

this fic is eren + mikasa x fem!reader, if you guys would want to see some gender neutral fics just let me know in my asks inbox! i’m open to any suggestions, if you want a fic that’s specifically tailored to you whether that be race-wise, gender-wise, any disabilities, etc,. just let me know!

likes/reblogs/comments are always appreciated:D

this fic has been proofread but if i missed something just let me know!

a/n: i saw someone(who is a wedding planner) describe an instance similar to this, on reddit, and i just had to write it.

i don’t care what anyone says, eremika is my otp. on the flip side, jean’s feelings for mikasa are so cute and it makes my heart do flips. 

warnings: language(most of my fics do contain language), smut; degrading, threesome, unprotected sex w/ creampie, voyeurism, cuckolding in a way?? but not really cause the reader fucks both of em so 🤨, oral(male and fem!receiving), permission needed to orgasm, slapping(slightest bit, not a huge portion of the smut)

word count: 5.3k

summary: wedding planning is a chaotic affair. some couples were very demanding, leaving no room for friendliness, the professionalism somewhat overbearing. with this couple though, there’s room to get friendly. 

your legs were propped up on your desk, the eraser end of a pencil in between your teeth. your eyes were trained on your computer screen, analyzing the june month of your calendar. a knock on your door interrupted your train of thought, your legs falling back to the floor at the sound. “mrs. y/l/n, it’s your 2 o’clock appointment,” your assistant’s voice sounding from behind the door.

“come in,” you replied, your voice accompanied by a soft lilt. your door swung open, your assistant standing beside a couple, a beautiful one at that. if you had lacked any sense of professionalism, drool might have dribbled out of the side of your mouth. 

“have a seat,” you gestured towards the chairs on the opposite side of your desk, “thank you marylin,” you smiled at your assistant, turning your attention back to the couple in front of you. 

now that they sat in front of you, you had a clearer look at their appearance. you noticed the way their hands were latched together, the image making you smile. “nice to meet you, i’m y/n, which you already knew i guess,” you laughed, the man and woman in front of you joining in.

already the room had an aura of comfort. they had told you their names, eren and mikasa, mikasa’s last name soon to be jaeger. eventually, the conversation had shifted into small talk as you nodded at the words falling from mikasa’s lips, a sign that you were listening intently. 

you had asked how they met, a common question you asked to most of the couples who became your clients, but with them, you were actually interested in their answer. “a pastry shop,” eren smiled, turning to mikasa. “the owner, levi, is actually attending our wedding as the matchmaker, he convinced me to make a move,” he finished. 

you couldn’t help but smile at the story, and smile at the couple in front of you. you could feel the happiness radiating off of them, their happiness rubbing off on you.

“do you guys have a theme that you’re thinking for the ceremony?”

the sun had slowly began it’s descent, the evening sun shining through the window behind you. discussion about the wedding had come to an end about an hour ago, the preliminary details sorted out. the professional conversation had died down, there was no reason for the appointment to continue, yet, a part of you didn’t want the couple to leave, and it didn’t seem like they were eager to go either. 

mikasa’s laughter sounded throughout the room as you recalled a bridezilla that you had dealt with a couple of years ago. eren smiled at the sound of mikasa’s laughter, turning towards you, the smile remaining. “so, i’m scheduling another appointment for january, we’ll discuss invitation cards, catering, and we can look at venues if you don’t already have an idea for where you want the wedding to take place,” you smiled softly. 

“thank you so much,” eren said, standing up and holding his hand out for you to shake. you stood from your chair also, shaking eren’s hand, walking towards the door. you held the door open for the couple, the subtle smile yet to leave your face.

“thank you again,” mikasa smiled at you. you felt your cheeks heat up at her appreciation. “of course, anytime, feel free to call if you need anything,” you said, waving at the couple as they walked down the hall. you were excited for this wedding, more so than any other one that you had planned. 

fuck, you need a cold shower. 

the meeting in january had happened a month ago. you had customized a design for the invitation based on mikasa and eren’s descriptions. they loved it, so the invitations were sent in the mail, the wedding set for the month of june. 

like the previous one, the appointment had run over, spending an hour talking to the couple, laughter sounding throughout the room. now, a month later, you were rushing to a bridal store, a to-go coffee cup in your hand as you walked quickly.

mikasa had invited you to dress shopping, a couple of her bridesmaids tailing along as well. you opened the door to the store, your breath quick from rushing as you looked around the for mikasa. you smiled once meeting mikasa’s eyes. she returned your smile with her own as she waved you over.

she had introduced you to all of her bridesmaids, the group of you talking about your shared excitement for mikasa’s wedding. you talked with the group, though you felt like you were intruding, seeing as you hadn’t known mikasa as long as these women. you were the wedding planner though, so it wasn’t odd that you were here, right?

all those thoughts flushed from your head when mikasa stepped out from the dressing room, the store assistant following behind her. she looked beautiful, the canvas white color of the dress acting as a parallel against her skin, a veil casted over her face. 

the women beside you cheered, yet you still stared in astonishment. realizing that you were the odd one out, your bottom lip caught between your teeth, you quickly joined in, clapping along with the women beside you. mikasa did a little twirl as a joke, and you whistled in response, the playful banter making you smile.

mikasa’s eyes shifted over to you as she smiled, “you look amazing,” you said softly, your words drifiting into a fluttery sigh. “thank you,” mikasa said, her voice almost a whisper. “um, would you want to come with me after this? i have some more shopping to do, and all my friends have somewhere to be,” your heart shouldn’t have pulsated the way it did at her offer. 

“of course,” you smiled, ushering her over to her friends who were eager to give their compliments to the soon-to-be-bride. 

how you had ended up inside a victoria’s secret dressing room with mikasa, her hands tugging at the bottom of her shirt, was beyond you. all you could do now was attempt to avert your eyes as she lifted the shirt over her eyes. 

she had gone to a couple shops before stopping in the lingerie store just for a ‘quick look’. a ‘quick look’ had somehow led to the pair of you venturing into the dressing room, mikasa’s hands full of bralettes covered in lace and different lingerie pieces. 

“what do you think of this one,” her voice broke the silence. well, now you had to look up at her. you lifted your head from the floor, stopping your jaw from falling slack, forcing your expression to be rigid. in the moments between your eyes falling to the floor and now, mikasa’s jeans had come off too. 

she now stood in a white lace bra, the dark areolas of her nipple visible through the fabric. a white lace thong accompanied the number on her upper half, sending you into an undeniable heat. your cheeks flushed as you licked your lips before responding, “i-it’s beautiful, i think eren will love it,”. you forced your eyes to remain on her face. “do you like it?” she asked, her voice having something hidden behind it.

“m-me?” you asked, though you already knew the answer. mikasa nodded, smiling at you. “i-i like it,” you stuttered through a sentence, your cheeks growing hotter, “i think it looks really good on you,” you whispered the last bit. mikasa grinned at that, her hands reaching for the clasp of the bra.

your eyes quickly fell back to the floor, mikasa grabbing another set that was sitting beside you on the bench in the dressing room. your eyes remained glued on the floor as you felt mikasa’s shoulder brush against yours. as quickly as you felt the brush of her skin against yours, it was gone, yet the feeling in your stomach had yet to subside. 

it was now may, a month before the wedding and mikasa had asked you over for coffee, in desperate need of someone to expel the worries she had about the wedding. you had obviously obliged, putting mikasa’s address into the map on your phone.

after the day at victoria’s secret, you had seen eren and mikasa a few more times, mainly to discuss the wedding. they had invited you over for dinner as a thanks, their hospitality was heartwarming.

you found yourself parking your car in front of their home once again, walking towards the front door. you rang the doorbell, slightly shifting from the ball of your foot to the heel in anticipation. to your surprise, eren opened the front door, and before you could stop yourself a slight gasp fell from your lips.

“what? expecting someone different?” he joked, smiling at you. you laughed softly before speaking, “i have a date with your fiancé,” you joked, holding up the two coffees in your hand. eren stepped out of the doorway, motioning for you to go inside. 

you had a general idea of the layout of their home from your previous visit, so you headed towards the kitchen, setting the coffee cups down on the table. “mikasa actually just had to leave,” eren said from behind you, “some emergency at work,” he sat down in a seat at the kitchen table. “oh,” you said, not knowing how to respond, standing awkwardly beside the table.

“i don’t mind if you stay though,” your eyebrows furrowed at his words, but the blush that rushed to your cheeks was easily distinguished, “until she comes back i mean,”. you nodded sheepishly, mentally hitting yourself for reading into eren’s words. you sat down, opposite from eren, pushing one of the coffees towards him. 

“thanks,” he smiled, taking a sip from the paper cup. you sat in silence for a moment, before eren asked you a question. “are you dating someone?” you gulped your coffee at that, coughing soon after from the rush of liquid. “s-sorry! that was abrupt,” he yelped. 

“n-no you’re okay,” you reassured him, setting your coffee cup on the table. “i’m not dating anyone, no,” you said, your left hand digging into your thigh. “that surprises me,” eren replied, his eyes boring into yours. ‘hmm?’ you hummed in question, attempting to retain a calm exterior, though it was hard to ignore the way your heart was beating. 

“i mean with being a wedding planner and everything, i feel like you see love all the time and you’d want your own shot at it,” eren started, “i would bet you have people lining up too,”. you blushed profusely at his words, ignoring any deeper meaning behind them. 

“i-i guess you’re right, i do see a lot of love, but that’s also why i’m not in a relationship. i get my full share of love, at work, you know? i’m always managing other people’s love lives, i don’t want to throw mine on top of that,” you rambled, letting out a deep breath at the end. eren nodded in understanding, smiling before talking. 

“so more of a friends with benefit thing? hit it and quit it?” he laughed, the feeling in your stomach and the heat in your cheeks growing at his words before you spoke. “i manage pretty okay by myself,” you laughed softly, attempting to ease your nerves. “k-know how to take care of myself,”. as soon as the words fell from your lips, you instantly regretted them. you didn’t want him to think you were insinuating something lewd with your words. 

eren just smirked at you, the sound of the front door opening startling you. mikasa made her way into the kitchen, smiling when she saw you. “eren leave my date alone,” she joked, leaning down to give him a kiss. what you thought would be a peck, was a passionate kiss. you caught glimpses of their tongues slipping into the other’s mouth before you had to look at the floor. 

“let’s go sit out back,” mikasa said to you as she pulled away from eren’s lips, panting.

it was now june, and you found yourself in the countryside of italy, lying on your bed, reading a book. the wedding was to take place in two days, the happy couple renting out a villa for the guests to stay at. your window was open to cool down your room, the slight breeze brushing across your legs, the noise of crickets softly easing the silence of the night. 

your peace was interrupted by a knock on your door. you huffed out a breath, swinging your legs off of the bed and onto the floor, making your way to the door. you looked through the peephole, sucking in a breath after looking through it. mikasa and eren stood outside your door, both in nightclothes. you felt anxious, worried that something was wrong, but opened your door nonetheless. 

“hey, are you guys alright?” you spoke softly, both eren and mikasa nodding. “can we come in?” eren said, you nodded in response, still confused but holding the door open for the couple. “we want t-” eren started before mikasa cut him off with her hand. at mikasa’s interruption, eren went to shut your window with an explanation of “it’s so cold in here,”.

“i’m sorry about that,” she sighed, “eren thinks we should’ve done this months ago, so now he’s being overly blunt, but i think there’s a polite way to go about it,” her voice was low, but still had the same softness along with it. “we wanna fuck you,” eren blurted out, your jaw dropping at his words. “eren!” mikasa punched his bicep, eren grinning sheepishly. 

“what? it’s true,” he rationalized. you were still reeling at his words and mikasa could tell. she made her way over to you, her hand rubbing at your shoulder as she spoke, “you’ve done so much to help us, and we’ve both wanted to from the start,” she looked at you intently, searching your expression. “jus’ wanna help you out,” eren joined in. 

“do you want that?” mikasa said, pulling her hand away in fear of making you uncomfortable. you nodded meekly, unable to hold eye contact with either of them. “look at me and say it,” mikasa’s voice was more stern now. you looked up at her, meeting her eyes that had seemingly grown darker.

“yes, want it,” you were panting, yet you hadn’t done anything to run out of breath. “good,” eren sighed from beside you, his lips quickly finding purchase along your neck as he left kisses along the expanse of skin, suckling at different spots. 

mikasa’s hand fell to your chin, lifting your face up before leaning in for a kiss. you fell stiff for a second, before melting into her lips. their lips were sending you into overdrive, mikasa’s hand falling to the back of your head to pull you in closer. 

she pulled away, a string of saliva connecting your lips together, her eyes glossed over with desire. “arms up” eren commanded plainly as he moved away from your neck. you obliged quickly, mikasa’s hands grabbing at the bottom of your shirt and pulling it over your head. 

“fuck,” mikasa sighed, her eyes boring holes into your breasts. you were getting ready for bed so you hadn’t had a bra on, your nipples stiffening at the brush of cold air. “so pretty, isn’t she kasa’” eren sighed, turning towards his soon-to-be-wife.

mikasa simply nodded, licking her lips before her hand gravitated towards your breast, groping softly at the skin. you threw your head back at the slight contact, trying to calm your heartbeat and the thoughts rushing through your head. too consumed with the situation, you hadn’t notice eren’s lips on your nipple until you felt his tongue lick at the hardened pebble.

you whimpered softly at the feeling, eren laughing against your skin, taking your moans as encouragement. eventually, eren’s mouth was wrapped around one nipple, mikasa’s wrapped around the other. your hands fell to their hair, your mind reeling at the pleasure.

you couldn’t help but look down at them, the sight increasing your pleasure. your eyes shifted between the two of them, eren’s eyes twinkling with mischief, mikasa’s laced with desire. 

“i think she deserves a treat, don’t you think so eren?” mikasa mumbled against your skin. eren simply nodded, his hands playing with the waistband of your sleep shorts. 

you found yourself now, lying against eren’s chest, eren’s back up against the headboard, your shorts discarded along with your panties. eren’s hands traced patterns on the sides of your hips as mikasa ran a finger through your slit. she lifted her finger up in the light, your arousal evident on the digit. 

“you’re excited, huh?” eren teased from behind you. you could feel his bulge pushing into your lower back, and you shifted to roll against it, eren letting out a soft sigh. one of eren’s hands drifted down towards your clit while mikasa placed kisses on your thigh, slowly inching towards your dripping center, but avoiding it to tease you further. 

“make her wait a little, babe’”, mikasa looked up at eren, a smirk on her face. “she’s been good,” eren said, his voice soft. his thumb now rubbed soft circles into your clit, your head falling onto his shoulder. “w-want more,” you whimpered, attempting to thrust into eren’s thumb. 

“see?” mikasa said from below you, staring right up at you, “give her a little and she starts begging like a whore,”. you whimpered at her words, desperate for some relief, desperate for an orgasm, desperate for something, anything. 

“you want it?” she asked, slowly inserting one of her finger’s into your dripping hole. “yes! p-please,” you begged, desperate for mikasa’s mouth and fingers. she just chuckled, letting out a plain “fine,” before her lips wrapped around your clit sucking on the bundle of nerves. 

“fuck!” you yelped, eren’s hand now groping at your breast as he littered kisses along your shoulder and neck. mikasa now had two fingers inside of you, their speed increasing as she placed kitten licks on your clit. you squirmed from the pleasure, the feeling overwhelming, your body telling you to get away, but you loved it. you wanted more, “more!” you whimpered.

mikasa’s mouth now met her fingers at your entrance, licking below your clit. eren’s hand drifted down towards the bundle of nerves, rubbing quick figure eights, your hips spasming at the feeling. “g-gonna cum!” you shouted, possibly a little too loud.

“yeah?” eren sighed, “gotta ask us first,”. you looked down a mikasa, her eyes the only thing you could see. “need permission to cum,” she mumbled into your pussy, the vibration sending shock waves through your body. it was hard to hold back, you needed to cum, but you couldn’t, not without permission. 

“p-please! i’ll be so good, just need to cum, need it bad, need it please!” you moaned loudly, your hips bucking into mikasa’s mouth and eren’s hand. “think she deserves it?” mikasa asked, looking up at eren. she moved away from your dripping center, her fingers still plunging in and out of you as she waited for eren’s response. 

“i think she’s been good,” eren answered, looking down at mikasa. he turned towards you, his lips tickling your ear, “you’ve been good right? good girls deserve to cum,” you moaned loudly at his words. you couldn’t hold back anymore, you needed it. “cum,” mikasa said plainly, her lips falling back to lick at your dripping hole. 

at her permission, your mind fell blank, your hips short-circuiting, your orgasm building until you fell over the edge. it resonated throughout your body, sending a hum throughout your system. you had never felt this fucking good. 

as you came down, mikasa slowly slid her fingers out. you were panting, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you met mikasa’s eyes, a smile on her face. she turned away from you, looking towards eren before speaking, “wanna taste her?”. you looked back to eren, still hazy from your orgasm to meet his enthusiastic nodding and the smirk on his face.

eren opened his mouth, mikasa slipping her fingers onto his tongue. he wrapped his lips around the digits, suckling. the image made your center throb, eren staring right at you as he licked your arousal off of mikasa’s fingers. 

“what? something wrong?” mikasa teased as she removed her fingers from eren’s lips, your mouth wide open at what you had just witnessed. “w-wanna watch, wanna see you both, together,” you said shyly. eren and mikasa just smiled at you before turning back to one another, and leaning in for a kiss.

their lips locked with a moan, the image before you reminding you of that day in their kitchen. only now, they were doing it because you wanted them to, because you wanted to watch. “fuck,” you sighed, crossing your legs in hope of friction, in hope of some relief.

the sensitivity from your orgasm had worn off, eren and mikasa kissing in front of you causing a spike in your libido. “want you both to suck my cock,” eren said breathlessly, pulling away from mikasa. you looked over at mikasa for reassurance, and she nodded with a soft smile. you looked back to eren, settling yourself next to mikasa, in between his legs. 

at some point he had gotten rid of his pants, the only thing separating you from his cock being his boxers. mikasa palmed at his erection through the fabric as you watched her movements before looking back up at eren timidly. his hand drifted down to your hair, rubbing at your head in appraisal.

you gave him a soft smile before reaching for the waistband of his boxers. with mikasa’s help, you pulled the cloth from off of his body, being met with his hard cock. the tip was an angry red and leaking precum, and you could’ve sworn it twitched slightly. how long had he been like this?

no matter, you were going to help him now, you were gonna take good care of him. you wanted to help him and mikasa, wanted them to take care of you. you licked a stripe up his cock, mikasa acting as a parallel on the other side. 

you heard a low groan from above you, taking it as encouragement as you wrapped your lips around the tip of his cock before lightly sucking. you licked at the underside of his cock, and in the corner of your eyes you could see mikasa licking at the base of his cock, her hand fondling with his balls. 

“fuck,” eren sighed from above you. you wanted to hear him moan more, so you took him deeper down your throat, mikasa licking at what you didn’t reach. eren let out more sighs and whimpers, throwing his head back at the feeling. you pulled off of his cock, spit covering his length as you switched spots with mikasa. 

she took his whole length down her throat, deepthroating him, a slight gag sounding throughout the room. you couldn’t help but whimper at the sight before you, wanting to do the same as mikasa, wanting to take him as good as her.

“wanna try?” she panted, pulling away from eren’s cock as she looked at you. you nodded, afraid to respond verbally, fearing that your words would do you an injustice. she wrapped one hand in your hair, pushing you towards his cock. before you could wrap your lips around his tip she spoke, “if you wanna pull off, tap eren’s thigh twice, okay?” she announced, looking at you for reassurance. you muttered out an ‘i will,’ wrapping your lips around eren’s cock.

“take him nice and slow,” mikasa said from behind you, her hand still in your hair. you could hear eren’s fluttery sighs, the sounds increasing the arousal collecting at your dripping hole. “t-take your time, pretty,” eren groaned from above you. you looked up at him and as you met his eyes, eren let out a moan, throwing his head back. 

“if you look at me like that, i’m gonna blow,” he teased, the light laugh at the end of his sentence turning into a moan. “ready to take him all the way?” mikasa asked, and you nodded as best you could with your mouth full of his cock. 

mikasa slowly but surely pushed your head further down his cock, your throat filling with his length. you gagged slightly right before bottoming out, eren verbally reeling at the feeling. as you reached the base of his cock, you gagged once more, your eyes watering at the pressure. you could feel your jaw becoming sore, your nose taking in harsh breaths, but you reveled in the feeling. 

you wanted eren’s cock deep down your throat, wanted to be good for him. mikasa pulled you off his length, a line of saliva in between your lips and the tip of his cock. “did so good,” mikasa assured you, pulling you in for a kiss. you relished in the feel of her lips on yours. she pulled away from you, leaning up towards eren and kissing him. “so hot,” you sighed absentmindedly, eren and mikasa laughing into the kiss.

“yeah?” eren teased, “i think you’ve yet to give me a kiss,” intense eye contact being shared between you two. you leaned up next to mikasa, hovering your lips over eren’s before closing your eyes and kissing him. his kiss was different from mikasa’s but similar in the pleasure you felt from it. you pulled away with a blush flushing across your cheeks.

“c-can i watch first?” you asked, looking between both eren and mikasa before looking down at your hands. mikasa’s hand grabbed at your chin, lifting your head up to look at her. “wanna watch him fuck me first?” you nodded enthusiastically.

eventually you situated yourself against the headboard, eren and mikasa next to you. he had her in doggystyle, his hands grabbing at her backside before he positioned the tip of his cok at her entrance. eren pushed in, both of their faces contorting in pleasure. your hand drifted down to your clit, rubbing soft circles onto your clit as you witnessed the scene unfall in front of you.

as eren began to thrust faster inside of her, mikasa’s head fell into the pillow, her moans slightly muffled by the mattress. your pace on your clit increased as the pace of eren’s thrust increased. his hand barreled down onto her ass, the smack sounding throughout the room. mikasa let out a yelp at the feeling, your bottom lip now situated between your teeth in response to the couple before you. 

eren had grabbed at mikasa’s hair, pulling her back to rest against his chest. “cum on my cock,” he commanded, thrusting into her harshly. mikasa obliged with a moan that was close to a shout. eren let go of her hair, mikasa falling back into the pillow as eren’s thrusts slowed. 

eren pulled out of mikasa, giving her a light tap on the ass before rubbing at the small of her back. “did so good,” he muttered out softly, his eyes falling onto you. “want you to ride my cock,” he said plainly, smiling at you. “do you want a condom, o-or do we need to get one because i kno-” you rambled, “are you safe?” eren asked softly. you nodded, assuring him that you got tested a month ago and hadn’t hooked up with anyone else in between now and then. 

“are you on the pill,” you nodded once again, no verbal response this time. “well then i think it’s alright if i leave you with a big load, deep inside of you, huh? would you like that?” you nodded, unable to respond, your cheeks heating up. “ do you think that would be nice, mikasa?” eren asked his fiance, who now leaned up against the headboard.

“i think she wants it real bad, think you should give it to her,” she taunted, staring at you. “think you’re right,” eren said as he laid down on the bed, his head on the pillow. “want you on my face, kasa’, and you on my cock, angel,” you whimpered softly, situating your legs on the outside of eren’s thighs. you held the tip of his cock at your entrance, pushing it inside of you as you slowly slid down his length. 

“f-fuck,” you sighed as you bottomed out, eren’s cock brushing up against that spot against you. mikasa was rocking her hips against eren’s mouth, her fluttery moans sounding throughout the room. you began to slowly bounce on eren’s cock, your hands placed on his toned stomach for support. as his cock pushed in and out of you, reaching deep inside of you, mikasa pulled you in for a kiss, moaning into your lips. 

she pulled away with a smirk, her face contorting in pleasure soon after. “fuck! do you like it?” she moaned, flicking her hips against eren’s tongue more eagerly. “like him deep inside of you?” she continued, to which you nodded, unable to verbalize your pleasure, grinding against eren’s cock. 

it all happened in an instance, you felt a sting on your face, your eyes tearing up slightly from the pleasure and the unanticipated pain. “i expect an answer when i ask you something,” mikasa said, her voice airy but the seriousness behind her tone still evident. she had slapped you. god, you wanted more. “y-yes i’ll answer!” you moaned, bouncing on eren’s cock with earnest. 

“f-fuck gonna cum!” mikasa yelped, her hips stuttering. eren’s hand fell on her hips, rocking her against his tongue, licking at her pussy until she fell apart on his face. after reaching her peak she swung her leg over, resting on the bed beside you and eren’s figures. “f-fuck angel,” eren groaned, “ride my cock just like that,”. you bounced more eagerly now, desperate for orgasm. you were so close. 

“cum on my cock, come on wanna see you cum all over me,” eren’s words were the final push, your walls clenching around eren’s cock as you came. “fuck!” eren all but yelled, his hands grabbing at your hips. “g-gonna, gonna” he moaned before he came, his hot load released deep inside of you. “s-so warm,” you sighed, falling further into that hazy space. 

eren lifted you off his cock slightly as you winced at the stretch. after pulling you off his cock, he laid you to the opposite side of him, pulling both you and mikasa into his figure. he left a kiss on your forehead before softly speaking,  “did so good for us,”. mikasa hummed in agreement before her soft voice sounded throughout the room, “so good,”.

the wedding had taken place and it was beautiful. the ceremony was stunning, and you found yourself crying at their vows, the love they shared so evident in the way the looked at one another. 

they drove off from the villa in a silver 1954 corvette, just married reading as the license plate. the wedding invitees waved them off, whistles sounding off into the distance. you had spent a couple more days in italy after the wedding, spending your time at a hotel, adventuring, and trying out restaurants.

before you were set to leave for home, your phone pinged with a message, the contact name reading ‘eren jaeger & mikasa jaeger’. reading the text left a smile on your face and a feeling of anticipation to thrum throughout your system.

‘the honeymoon is amazing!! we wanted to thank you again for all your help. we’ll be back in the states in a week. hopefully you’ll find time to fit us in your schedule, there’s so much to discuss. we need your expertise on a wide variety of matters, so many more weddings for us to plan and all that;)’

fin

HEY! thank you so much for reading :D this fic is legit a dream fantasy, new nightime scenario :/// in all seriousness, i loved writing this so it means a lot that you’re reading it.

love u love u love u love u

take care of yourself <3

[suchalonelysunflower]

Wedding Bells (l.h)

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x Fem!Reader

Summary: The happiest day of your life is the worst day on Luke’s life. Could there still be a happy ending if he’s not too late?

Warnings: angsty. Language and mentions of alcohol. Slander on the name Phillip (sorry to all the Phills but it’s true, look it up) Some grammar mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 4.9 k

Author’s note: let me guide you through my thought process: I was writing You Said Forever and accidentally got caught up on the Olivia x Joshua x sabrina drama, that lead me to the Miley x Nick x Selena drama, which lead me to the song Wedding Bells by Nick Jonas. So this is loosely based on that. Remember that Reblogs, Comments, Feedback and Likes are very important and welcomed, you don’t know how much it helps and I love to hear from you guys ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading ✨🦋🌻

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

His head was pounding, loudly.

Every beat sounded like an echo that ran through his whole body. Speaking of his body, goddamn how it hurt, how everything hurts.

His eyelids were closed, eyelashes stuck and tangled with each other, heavy as the sun shined through the window, begging him to get up. His mouth was also dry, he couldn’t figure out if it was because he slept with his mouth open or because he doesn’t remember the last time he drank a drop of water.

He groaned as the pounding in his head continued. A never-ending pain that matched the loud banging on the door.

“Luke! C’mon, we’re going to be late!”

Ashton's voice sounded far away as his mind was not fully awake yet. He didn’t want to be awake yet, maybe not ever again after this day.

If his eyes were awake he would roll them. Couldn’t Ashton understand that he didn’t want to go? He made it fairly obvious for the past few months! He was not going.

Luke hid his head farther in his pillow, trying to avoid any kind of contact with the outside world. But that was almost impossible as soon as he heard Ashton pick on his lock.

That bastard.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to mess with a bloke from the outsides of town?” He said with a teasing tone. Luke knew he was bluffing, his doorknob was messed up since the moment they bought the house, so it was easy to get in if you knew the right tricks with a safety pin - oh the irony of it all.

Luke mumbled something close to a word his mum wouldn’t be proud to hear. But Ashton simply ignored it as he walked towards the windows to open the curtains, letting the sun illuminate the room at its full capacity.

Ashton sighed at the sight of the room. Clothes were thrown out everywhere, the same goes with the hundred liquor and beer bottles and cans that were scattered around the floor. He grabbed the half-empty bottle of vodka that rested on the nightstand and clicked his tongue.

“You bought this yesterday,” He said, totally unimpressed. Luke didn’t answer “C’mon, buddy, up to the shower you go”

Ashton patted Luke’s back, encouraging him to get a move on, but the blonde just brought his sheets over his head and stayed put.

“Luke…”

“Mmnphf” He mumbled.

“What?” Ashton walked to the foot of the bed and grabbed the tall Australian by his legs, pulling him out of his comforter in one swift move that made Luke fall out of the bed with a thud.

“Motherfuck-“ He complained, rubbing on his bumped head, which was still pounding by the way.

“You were saying?” Ashton said with a smirk as he crouched down to be face to face with Luke, the teasing smile quickly fading away because he didn’t like what he saw at all.

The baby blue eyes that once shined with gleam were dull, red, and empty, and probably angry about his interruption. His curly blond was sticking to his forehead and his body language seemed to have given up on keeping him with a straight figure, making him physically close himself up to others.

“I said I’m not going!” His voice was hoarse due to the heavy drinking he’s been doing these past few days. He tried to sound harsh, but Ashton could easily see through his bluff. He was hurting, every part of him.

“Of course you are,” Ashton scoffed.

Luke glared at him “I’m. Not. Going” He said through gritted teeth. The drummer rolled his eyes. He’s had this conversation before and it was always the same speech.

“You are because she wants you there, so you’ll be there” Ashton stated as if that was the only reasonable answer.

Luke closed his eyes, cause he was sure that if he opened them he would punch Ashton in the mouth. Why couldn’t he understand? “I can’t go, Ash”

His voice broke at the end of the pleading, breaking Ashton’s heart in the process. He hated to see him like that; to see him throw away his life so carelessly without asking for or accepting anyone’s help. It’s not like he ignored what was happening, but he was sure this would do good for him; close cycles, help him move on, and that shit. How else could you mend a broken heart?

“And besides,” Luke continued “She doesn’t want me there” The words felt like poison in his mouth, bitter and dry “She invited you guys, you are her friends and I’m just her stupid ex”

That was a lie and he knew that. When the invitations came he made sure to throw his away before he even got to open it. Making the others believe that he wasn’t invited at all. He didn’t even tell them that you were the one who dropped them, him being unlucky enough to answer the door.

“It’s in June,” You said, eyes avoiding him “Hope you can make it”

Whatever words Luke had stuck in his throat stayed there as he swallowed the pain of seeing you standing there, inviting him to see you love someone else. All he could say was “You’ll look beautiful in white”

You practically ran away after that, leaving him alone with the invitations. Just looking at those envelopes hurt more than he could imagine. He knew this day would come eventually, he hoped he would. He just hoped that his name was engraved on paper next to yours.

“Maybe,” Said Ashton with a grin “But if she didn’t want you there then why did she ask me to RSVP for you?” Luke’s eyes widened like plates, he knew Ashton had called his bluff once again “She said you never answer yours so I did it for you. Cause she wants you there, Luke. You were her best friend, too”

Luke groaned and covered his face with his hand “Why did you do that?!” He asked with an exasperated tone, wanting to hate on the drummer but knowing that that was impossible.

“Because you need to go, mate! You can’t leave her hanging like this!”

“And what am I supposed to say?!” He yelled, he was not used to yelling but he was at the ends of his wits ``‘Oh, hey Y/N! A beautiful day isn’t it? Perfect weather to break my heart into a million pieces while you marry another guy and I’m sitting there watching, wishing I was him! I’m happy for you, though I’m really not cause I know it’s been like what? 3 years 5 months and 24 days since we broke up? but I’m still in love with you. Okay have fun?!”’

He grabbed an empty can from the floor and threw it away, hitting the door of his closet. He was beyond furious and frustrated. You were getting married and he can’t do anything to stop it; to stop you.

Ashton sighed, heartbroken by this whole ordeal “You’ve been counting?”

“Ever since that day. It was my greatest mistake and now I’m suffering from it. Karma really is a bitch. Did you know our anniversary is supposed to be in 5 days? And now it’s impossible to ever get her back”

The drummer placed a hand on Luke's shoulder, he wished he could make his pain go away. He’s never seen his friend so heartbroken before and it pained him knowing that there was nothing he could do about it.

“Luke,” He said in a fatherly tone “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. But believe when I tell you she wants you there, she misses you” Luke turned his head towards Ashton, his eyes begging him not to lie “I’m serious, she’s always asking about you but she’s too scared to talk to you thinking that you don’t want to speak to her. She needs you there, man. Not as a bitter ex and to show you she’s moved on, but as a friend. And I know for a fact you can’t say not to her, even when you’re mad”

Luke sighed. Ashton was right. He could never deny you anything, even before you were together and you were just his best friend, you were always his weakness.

He misses you too, every day since you broke up he’s been missing you. And he would be lying if he said he didn’t want to see you at least one last time, given that your last interaction was awkward as hell.

“I can’t go, Ash”

Ashton nodded with a disappointing sigh as he got up from the floor, but before he could walk out the door he heard Luke say “I can’t go because I don’t have a suit!”

Ashton smiled “I got you covered, buddy” And left the room so Luke could take a shower.

*

Ashton’s suit was itchy, but Luke was grateful that he didn’t have to show up in jeans and an old BonJovi shirt.

He was surprised to find out that they were actually on time, although he wouldn’t be surprised if someone told him that Ashton woke him up much earlier than needed to get there on time.

They met with Michael and Calum in the parking lot, they greeted each other and started talking as if Luke’s heart wasn’t about to burst from the anxiety he was feeling.

To show up at a wedding is something; to show up at your ex’s aka the love of your life’s wedding is��� unsettling. He understood why his friends didn’t want to make it awkward for him, yet the awkwardness settled at the moment he stepped foot out of the car.

“She’s getting married in a church?” He asked no one in particular.

“Yeah? That’s why we are here, mate” Calum chuckled.

Luke furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. You never wanted to get married in a church or even a chappel. No, if he remembers correctly, your dream wedding was somewhere outdoors; either a park or a forest or even someone’s backyard. You used to say that love was the most beautiful and natural thing in the universe, so it was logical to celebrate something as powerful as a wedding in the eyes of nature, so it all came to be one for love and love can be one for all.

He remembers he laughed at that, not to mock you in any way, but in awe of how beautiful you put it. Everything you said sounded like poetry to him, even if you were just reading a menu in a Chinese restaurant. But now your poetry would belong to someone else, and he only hoped that that someone deserves to hear it.

He doesn’t know the groom, he believes his name was Phill? Or something like that? Ashton always said he was kind of a jerk, but you loved him enough to marry him so maybe he wasn’t that bad. But for Luke he would always be the man that stole you from him.

All three of his friends started walking inside the rustic church and Luke followed, incapable to think about anything else that wasn’t you at that moment.

However, the minute he entered the cold building he knew something was wrong.

The church was filled with people he didn’t know, he assumed they must be from the groom’s side of the family, but he would bet the 35$ Ashton left in his pocket that you didn’t know half of these people either.

You never wanted a big wedding, hell, you didn’t even want a big birthday party, no matter how much Luke insisted on it.

“Those kinds of parties are not for the ones being celebrated!” You told him once “If it was truly important then all you need is your closest friends and your found family. What else is there to love?”

Your words kept repeating themselves inside Luke’s head. What else is there to love? Indeed.

That wasn’t the only thing catching his attention though. With every step he took towards his seat he found out more things out of place, out of you.

For example, the color scheme was terrible and he knows you didn’t pick it, your favorite colors were nowhere to be seen. Then it was the flowers, if there is one thing he never forgot about you were your favorite flowers. You used to fill the house with them saying that they were your little serotonin boosters, he remembers how happy they made you and how one time he nearly bought all the flowers in the shop to surprise you when you were having a bad day. Now he cannot even look at them without thinking of you.

The more steps he took the more flawed this wedding looked. And yes, he knows that sounds bad, especially coming from him. But it was the truth. Not even the music sounded like it would come from you.

The words ‘This is not right’ Kept screaming at the back of his head.

The Y/N he knew would never choose those flowers or those colors or that guest list or that venue, nor the song that was playing over the speakers. She preferred live music over all the rest and, if she would’ve asked, she’d known that all four of them would perform for free on the happiest day of her life, even if it was the crappiest day for him.

If someone were to tell him a year ago that this is how your wedding would look, he would’ve laughed cause this is not like you. This wedding, this… charade of glamour and show.. this wasn’t you. This wasn’t Y/N. And it's supposed to be your day!

He couldn’t understand why you’d choose this? This was so unlike you, unless… unless he never really knew you at all.

And just like that, the sinking feeling of dread came upon him as he tried to figure out who was the person he knew and who are you now? What changed so much to make you lose all that you once were?

What if?

What if he knew how to love you better? He wouldn’t have let you walk away from him. He would’ve fought for you, for the two of you, instead of just giving up like he did.

Luke knew he loved you. Fuck, he still loves you like the first day. And now you are loving somebody else cause he didn’t know how to keep the most beautiful thing he ever had; the most beautiful thing he let die. He messed up, but his biggest fuck up was realizing it and doing nothing about it.

And now it was too late.

“Dude, are you okay?” Michael whispered when he noticed his friend's frown.

Luke nodded, lips pressed together in a thin line “What were you saying?”

Michael smiled with mischief “We were just laughing at how ridiculous Phillip looks. That suit does not suit him at all”

For the first time since he came, he looked over at the altar. Standing there was the so-called Phill you were going to marry. He was talking to his groomsmen and laughing obnoxiously at what seemed like an inappropriate joke. What did you see on that guy?

“Did you know the name Phillip means horse lover?” Said Calum, trying to stiff a laugh with the other two friends.

They were doing their best to keep Luke distracted and he appreciated that. But seeing the groom so unpreoccupied, so chill and uninterested made his blood boil. How could he be so at ease? If it were him, if he had the wonderful chance to marry you, he’d be a ball of anxiety. He’d be wondering just how beautiful you’d look, if you were feeling as nervous as he was, if you were as happy as he was and how he couldn’t wait to marry you… He would do all that because he will know that he is the luckiest man on earth. But that’s not his truth at all.

“I’m going to take a walk”

Neither of them told him that the ceremony was about to start or offered to accompany him. They knew he needed time and they wouldn't pressure him at all. Luke silently thanked them for that.

He walked out of the ceremony hall and started pacing around the halls, quickly getting lost as he tried to ease his mind.

How could he go through this and pretend that he’s okay? He remembered Ashton’s words from this morning and knew that if you wanted him here then he would be here, but that still didn’t make it any easier.

He would go through the ends of the earth for you if you asked him to, but this? This might be the hardest thing he has ever done, second only to let you go.

His curls were getting messy because of all the ruffling he did with his hands. He needed to pull himself together before the ceremony, he needed to seem okay in front of you. He-

The soft cries coming from behind the door caught his attention. They were hushed but they seemed completely broken. Whoever was behind that door must feel just as hopeless as he did.

“Hello?” He said, knocking on the wooden door “Hello, are you okay in there?”

The sniffing sounds stopped “Luke?”

It was quiet, almost like a whisper. But Luke would recognize your voice anywhere, especially after not hearing you say his name for 3 years.

“Y/N?”

The door opened with a click and revealed a supply closet and, inside that supply closet, there was a bride. There you were.

Luke’s breath almost disappeared as you knocked the wind out of his lungs. You looked beautiful. Stunning in your white dress. Magical as your hair was perfectly styled. Breathtaking with your waterproof makeup still intact, although you would look breathtaking without it as well. Ethereal as you looked at him and he realized that all the times that he missed you seemed small at how much he missed you now and how he would miss you all his life.

If there were any other adjectives to describe how you looked, he would take them all out of the dictionary and give them to you in the form of a song. Cause in his eyes there was no other beauty that could compare, that even the sadness in your eyes seemed to compliment your magnificent. And that was something he couldn’t ignore.

Without thinking it twice he took a couple of steps in front of you and cupped your face in his hands, wiping your tears with his thumb as he murmured: “What’s wrong, love?”

Hearing his voice so worried and soft shook something in you, something that you didn’t know you still had but at the same time knew that it would never go away.

More tears started streaming down your eyes as your gaze met his, making you get lost in those baby blue marbles.

“I- I don’t know what I’m doing, Lukey” You confessed in a whisper.

At the sound of his nickname, Luke felt like he could float away in a cloud of happiness. He thought you’ve forgotten. But the look on your face denoted a fear he hoped he’d never got to see again.

Your eyes were puffy red and your cheeks were flushed, not only because of the blush. And your eyes, they were terrified and Luke didn’t know what to do, so he just said.

“You’re getting married today” You didn’t miss the hint of sadness that laced those words. You hoped that could mean something.

You placed your hands on his wrist, holding his hands that were cupping your face and making them stay there. Right now it was the only comfort you got.

“I don’t know if I should-“ You choke out a sob “Luke, I’m scared- I’m so scared”

“Do you love him?” The words pained him, cutting right through his heart. But you and him were here for a reason, and that reason was waiting at the altar.

He secretly prayed that you would say no, that you would beg him to take you away and run away together, maybe elope somewhere far away and not come back to this place ever again.

He saw the hesitation in your eyes and he knew his answer.

“Y/N, I love-“

“There you are!”

Luke closed his eyes in annoyance when he felt his words get stuck in his throat as the stranger’s voice came closer to them. You quickly pulled away from him and that only made his heart break more than it already was.

“We’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Said one of the bridesmaids Luke has never seen before, he assumed that it was from the side of the groom as well, just like everything else “The ceremony is about to start, we need to go now!”

She quickly grabbed you by the wrist and practically draged you to the ceremony hall.

You were desperate. Your pleading eyes searched for Luke, begging for him to do something. But what could he do now? His shocking state left him standing right there with his eyes glued to your figure being dragged away somewhere he didn’t know you wanted to be. It all happened so fast that the only thing he could think of was that this might be the last chance he’s got to see you and all he could do was stare into your pretty eyes cloud with fear and tears.

‘Here comes the bride’ started playing through the speakers of the church and Luke clenched his fists to his side. You hated this song.

He went back to his seat minutes after the ceremony started. His three best friends were looking at him with curiosity and a thousand questions in their minds. They knew the minute that they saw you come in that those tears were not of happiness and, judging by Luke’s hard, emotionless face, he had something to do with it.

Throughout the whole ceremony, Luke couldn’t stop staring at you. It was eating him inside the fact that he knew you didn’t want this and yet you were still going through it. He couldn’t understand why. He is losing you right before his eyes and he couldn’t take that.

He knew that the moment you say ‘I do’ would be the moment his soul would die forever.

“Luke?”

He knew something was wrong. He knew it the moment he parked the car in a freaking church and your eyes filled with tears just confirmed it to him.

“Luke, are you okay?” Michael whispered once again, concerned about the white knuckles on his best friend’s fists.

He loves you. He loves you so fucking much and he can’t let you do this.

He won’t let you do this.

“If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace"

“Fuck it,” Luke said before standing up.

In one second, all eyes were on him. He could feel the stares of strangers, the judgy whispers of the families, and even the shit-eating grins from his best friends sitting beside him. But all his attention was on you. On you and your relieved face.

“I object to this union,” He said in a firm voice that overshadowed the murmurs, leaving everyone completely quiet.

He could see your eyes clouding with tears and the way your lips seemed to be saying his name in one breath. That was all he needed to keep going.

Luke took a few steps to the side, walking until he ended up in the middle of the aisle, looking at you and only you.

“Y/N, I love you,” He said, earning a few gasps from the public “I love you since the day I met you, the day I first asked you to be mine, and even on the day I lost you. I was an idiot who didn’t know how to take care of the magic we created and decided that it was best to let it go before it went out of hand. But you, you always believed in magic; you always believed in me and, Y/N that’s why I’m here telling you that I am still in love with you. And that you are making a big mistake here, just like I did when I lost you. But we are still on time to make everything right.

This, however, is not right and you know it. Where are you in all of this? Do they know your favorite flowers or that your favorite song includes a swear word? Do they know the way you take your coffee or your favorite colors? Do they know how much you love to dance, especially when no one is watching?

I know you, baby. I know you enough to say with certainty that this is not what you wanted. I know how much you love rain and how you wish time would stop every time you take a shower so it could last longer. I know that you cry during every movie, even if they have a happy ending because you always believed in them. I know you never want to break someone’s heart so you are willing to take the hurt as long as the other person is okay. I know that my biggest regret is losing you, cause you are the only thing I got right in my life.

You are life, fire, spark, patience, and love. You are the kindest person on earth and you deserve so much more than this world could give. No one deserves you, darling but I would spend the rest of my days trying to.

I’m in love with you Y/N L/N. Please, don’t- don’t marry him”

Luke’s eyes were watery as he swallowed down a sob on the last part of his speech. His eyes never left yours for a second as his body visibly shook with anxiety and fear, waiting for your answer.

You, on the other hand, were smiling through the tears “I love you too, Luke” You said loud enough for all to hear, and Luke felt like he could breathe again, a smile growing wide as he let a few tears roll down his eyes.

You ran down the aisle to his arms, fully sinking into them as you wrapped your arms around his waist. Luke’s chuckle reverberated through his chest as he picked you up and spun you around in your wedding dress, finally putting you down and looking right into your eyes, now clouded with happy tears.

“I told you you were going to look beautiful in white”

He kissed you with all the love he had in his heart. It was honest, pure, and filled with happiness as the two lovers finally reunite, making the entire church erupted in cheers.

The groom, however, didn't share that excitement. He was fuming red as he started walking towards Luke with his groomsmen, calling you derogatory names as he was ready to start a fight.

“Oh, fuck no” Said Calum, walking down to the middle of the aisle along side Ashton and Michael, creating a safe distance between the two of you and the fight that was about to start. Phillip was not happy, but before he could give the first punch Calum’s fist was already on his face, making him tumble back with a bloody nose “Take that horse lover!”

All hell broke loose in the middle of church as punches were thrown carelessly. The three Australians seemed to be winning the fight with ease, beating the asses of your now ex-fiancé and his friends.

The public was too distracted by the fight to notice how you walked away from the aisle as you cheered on your friends to kick their kneecaps. Luke took your hand and pulled you towards him, still laughing as he began tugging on it for you to follow, and so you did.

You ran as fast as you could, leaving everyone behind without a second thought. The only thing in your mind being the love you had for each other and how you won’t take it for granted this time.

“I love you,” He said as you reached the car, placing his hands at the side of your waist and leaning in for a kiss filled with adrenaline “I fucking love you, Y/N”

You wrapped your hands around his neck and kissed him back with all the love you kept from him during all these years “I love you too, Luke. We are meant for forever”

“Forever and beyond”

It was a crazy sight from every point of view. The man with the messy hair and the girl in a wedding dress kissing in the middle of a church parking lot while the guests all peered from the entrance of the building, four of them bleeding through their nose with tears in their black eyes, and three of them with their clothes all messed up and sweaty, smiling triumphantly as they watched their friends live their love again.

With one last kiss, Luke helped you get inside the car and he quickly got to the other side, starting the engine just in time to hear the bells chime. Marking the start of your real happily ever after with the love of your life.

.

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @sarcasticallywitty15 @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @myloverboyash

[woah-were-halfway-there]

Our Last Summer - B. Boeser

A/N: just a girl who thought she’d try writing for a different player. Shocking, I know. Also this is an OC and I love her, enjoy!

Yes, after the ABBA song. Also shoutout to my least favourite Taurus @brockadoodles for convincing me to follow through with writing and posting this and being an A+ beta reader always.

Word Count: 9.2k

To Brock, summer was the best time of year. As much as he loved hockey season, summer gave him the chance to unwind, relax and spend time with his friends and family. It also allowed him to be at one of his favourite places all the time, the lake. 

The lake was a sanctuary of sorts for him, his little piece of paradise. Even before he moved to Vancouver, he spent every summer there, which is why he ended up buying a home on that lake to spend his off-seasons in. It also happened to be where he got to see Lennon—the only place. 

Brock and Lennon first met almost ten years ago. Right away, Brock could tell that she wasn't from the area based on her lack of a so-called Minnesotan accent but eventually learned how her family started vacationing on the lake the same year they were both turning fourteen. 

Lennon's family has been back every year since. How she and Brock first crossed paths was on the beach one fateful afternoon at the end of June. Brock was standing in line behind her, waiting to buy a bottle of water while she ordered ice cream from the man operating the little stand. Once Lennon was handed her snack, she turned around and went to walk away but didn't realize Brock was standing right there and ended up knocking into him, which resulted in her ice cream spilling down the front of the t-shirt he wore. She quickly grabbed some napkins and tried to clean up the mess she made all over him, but he just laughed it off and told her it was fine. 

The two of them parted ways after that, not thinking much of the interaction and didn't cross paths again until the following summer. When they did meet again, it was on that same beach, at the same ice cream stand, but Lennon didn't spill anything that time. Instead, the pair just stared at each other as they were both hit by the most intense wave of deja vu either of them had ever experienced. After that initial shock, they talked and properly introduced themselves because what were the chances they'd run into each other again. After commenting on how he assumed Lennon wasn't from there, Brock learned that she only came to Minnesota in the summertime with her parents and twin brother because her dad was from there and her parents owned a lake house they wanted to retire to one day. It was one of Lennon's favourite places to be and had her looking forward to summer every year because of it. 

That summer, Brock and Lennon saw each other on multiple occasions after the run-in on the beach, and a friendship gradually began. That friendship only grew with each summer that passed as Brock's friends became Lennon's friends too after being invited to hang out with them as they went boating, jet skiing, exploring and had bonfires each night. These activities made Lennon's summers even more memorable than before. 

However, as they got older, things began to change. 

The summer before Lennon turned 19 was the last summer she spent entirely at the lake for a few years. Brock had already turned 19 that February, and Lennon would be doing the same in early November. However, that fall, she began going to university and spent the summers working. Lennon didn't get as much time off but still managed to squeeze in at least two weeks at the lake to spend with her family, friends, and, of course, Brock. 

Four years later, once Lennon graduated from her bachelor's program, she returned to the lake for the whole summer. Lennon also mainly spent that summer with Brock as he sat with her for hours while she applied to various jobs in her field and did phone interviews with possible employers. It was odd for him, though, because it wasn't until then, Brock realized how even though he felt like he knew Lennon very well, he hardly knew anything about her life outside of the lake. Sure, he knew that she took English and Literature at university, but he didn't know what school she attended. He also didn't know where her family lived the rest of the year. Brock only knew Lennon and summer. 

There was a massive disconnect between the two of them when they weren't in their little summer bubble. Brock and Lennon didn't speak when they weren't at the lake. They had each other's phone numbers, but the thought of using it while he was in Vancouver felt foreign, and although Lennon did cross his mind, he knew the two of them would pick up where they left off like they did every summer once both of them returned to the lake. 

That's what happened last summer too. Brock and Lennon were reunited on her first day back and spent almost every day together, seeing as it had been four years since the last full summer she spent in Minnesota. It was a summer to remember for sure. They somehow became even closer, which naturally led to them feeling a sense of dread as the days became shorter and summer gradually came to an end. 

But, everything became ruined when Brock and Lennon slept together on her last night at the lake. Then Brock woke up to a cold and empty space next to where he laid in his bed the morning after. 

The piece of him that Brock didn't realize Lennon had a hold on broke that morning. She left him feeling hurt and confused. He texted her, but she didn't reply. Then when he took his jet ski out on the water and rode by her family's house, only to see it completely dark and no cars in the driveway, he knew summer was officially over and that he wouldn't hear from her again. 

That is why he was looking forward to this summer. There was no guarantee he'd be seeing Lennon. He didn't know what had gone in her life over the past ten months but was sure he'd get filled in on it once he saw her family, but he had this unexplainable feeling that she was going to be there, and that was enough to get him nervous. However, Brock was still excited even with those nerves because his summer just wasn't complete without Lennon in it. Regardless of how the two felt towards each other.  

Brock's first day back consisted of getting everything ready, and the house opened up for the season. With his roommates and family's help, the boat was launched into the water and docked, so were the jet skis, and everything just slowly fell into place. The only thing missing was Lennon.

However, he tried not to think of things like that. He was convinced he'd get some closure about what happened between the two of them last summer, but when he casually brought her up in conversation, no one knew if she was back or not. Lennon's family was at the lake, everyone knew that much, but no one had seen her yet, which made Brock feel a little less hopeful. 

Once everything at the house was finished getting ready, all of his company stayed for dinner but then headed back to their own homes, his roommates included. They'd be back on the weekend and be staying there for good afterwards, but for the next few days, it would just be Brock and his dogs, which was fine by him.  

After everyone left, Brock headed out to the back yard, letting Milo and Coolie run around for a bit before going back inside for the night. The sun was setting, leaving warm pink and orange trails of light chasing after it while slowly disappearing in the distance. A few boats still drove around on the water, finishing up their rounds before it got too dark. Brock could also hear chatter from somewhere nearby where he assumed people were outside having a bonfire or just socializing as they enjoyed what was bound to be a beautiful evening. 

Brock then wandered to the edge of his dock and sat down, letting his legs hang off the side then swaying them slightly as he continued taking it all in. Not too long after, Coolie joined him as he took up the spot next to him and rested his head on Brock's lap while looking out at the water as well. Meanwhile, Milo continued wading in the water, ready to attack any fish that dared come near him. 

About ten minutes later, after Milo had gone up onto the dock as well, Brock spotted a boat heading towards him. As the boat got closer to shore, he could hear the familiar voice of Wesley Schultz as a song by The Lumineers played and watched as the boat slowed down then took a wide right turn before coming to a stop about 20 feet from the edge of his dock. Confused, Brock looked around for someone else because surely whoever was on the boat wasn't stopping to talk to him. But then he remembered that he was at his own house and that there was no other explanation for what was going on. 

"Hey!" A voice greeted over the music, then a man, who Brock assumed was around the same age as him, came into view. He had dark brown hair that wasn't quite as long as Brock's but still long enough to noticeably be pushed back away from his face with a pair of sunglasses and wore only a pair of green swim trunks and an unzipped white sweater. "So you're the person who lives here. I'm Max. My family just bought a house around the bend over there. It's nice to meet you."

"Oh, cool!" Brock responded, a wave of relief washing over him as he realized the guy was just being friendly. "Nice to meet you too. I'm Brock. I live here with a few friends, but it's just me here right now. I'm sure you'll see the others around soon. Have you been to the lake before?"

"No, this is my first summer here," Max explained and smiled. "But, I know someone who's been coming here for a while and told me all about it. I must say, it's living up to its hype."

"Your friend sounds like they know what they're talking about," Brock chuckled, then heard a voice say something from where they must've been sitting out of sight on the boat. But what really surprised him the way Coolie perked up at the voice and caused a low whine to leave his mouth. 

"Yeah, I'd say she does," Max replied, then leaned to the side and looked down into the boat's cabin. "She's right here actually, said it was too cold then went inside—Babe, wanna come say hi to my new neighbour? Maybe the two of you know each other."

The thought of how Brock might know the other person on the boat made sense, he knew the area so well and had met lots of people over the years, but that still didn't prepare him for the way he felt once Lennon stepped into view. 

"Lemon?" 

Brock's nickname for her fell from lips so quickly as he took her in, he didn't even have to think about it. Lennon's deep brown hair was longer than it was the last time Brock had seen her, that much he could tell even in the messy fishtail braid she had it in. Usually, Lennon liked to cut her hair going into the summer because she always complained about how hot it made her feel whenever it was down and not being held back with the hair tie that usually resided on her wrist. 

He then took in the rest of her appearance. She wore bright yellow crocs, a pair of white terry cloth shorts and a baggy pullover that had Minnesota written in a large yellow font across it as well. Brock recognized the sweater because it belonged to him until the last night of the previous summer. 

It was a simple look, but to Brock, Lennon still seemed stunning in the evening glow surrounding her. 

That was when Coolie stood up and barked, snapping Brock out of the trance he'd fallen into upon seeing Lennon again. Coolie recognized her. That much was evident with how he whined and started wagging his tail just at the sight of her, Milo joining in soon after. 

"Hi Coolie, hi Milo," Lennon spoke softly and smiled at the two dogs, making Brock feel as if he walked into a brick wall just by hearing her voice again. 

"Oh, you two do know each other!" Max exclaimed, snapping Brock back to reality once again. 

Then Lennon looked Brock in the eyes for the first time, and her smile fell slightly. 

"I guess you could say that," she stated, not breaking eye contact. "Hey, Brock."

"H-hey," was all he could reply with, still recovering from the initial shock of how Lennon, the person he spent the last ten months thinking about, was finally standing in front of him again, but with another guy. "You're back."

"Yeah, I am," she nodded, then looked back at Max. "We should probably get going, though. It's getting dark."

"You're right," Max agreed. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you around, Brock. Have a good night."

"Uh, yeah, you too," Brock responded, whispering almost as he observed Max start the boat back up and begin driving off. 

He watched the two of them go, refusing to take his eyes off of Lennon, which was how he didn't miss the way she looked back at him too or how she didn't look away until the boat rounded the bend and disappeared out of sight yet again. 

~*~

About a week went by before Brock saw Lennon again, and he hated it. He saw her family, who all asked when he'd be stopping by again. But Brock didn't know how to explain that he and Lennon had barely spoken or the reason behind it all. It then got worse when his parents came over that weekend and told him how they ran into her while they were at the store and that she seemed to be doing well.

It sucked for him because all he wanted to do was talk, but he knew Lennon. And he knew that if she wanted to talk, she would. However, it was clear that she didn't, so Brock didn't push her into talking with him regardless of how badly he wanted to. 

The thought of just messaging Lennon and asking her to come over crossed his mind many times that week, but he couldn't bring himself to send the text he typed out and would end up deleting it instead. His summer was already off to a very different start than he was hoping for. 

One day, while he was out boating with some of his friends, things started to change again. 

After being out on the water for most of the day, Brock and his friends all decided to dock the boat at the marina near, of course, the beach that Brock couldn't step foot on without thinking about Lennon. Once he saw that beach, he was reminded of how much time he and Lennon spent there together over the years since first meeting. Brock would've been lying if he said he didn't want to run into her again on that same beach, but he tried not to get his hopes up. 

However, to his luck, Lennon was walking along the dock at the marina the same time Brock was hopping off the boat to help tie it up. Brock spotted her first, but she was busy scrolling through her phone, her eyebrows furrowed with an unreadable expression on her face as she did so, and she didn't notice Brock or the others as she continued walking towards them, but then came to an abrupt stop. 

Whatever Lennon was looking at on her phone seemed important, and Brock didn't want to interrupt, but then one of his friends, who also knew Lennon, spotted her. 

"Lenny!" Sam exclaimed as he brushed past Brock, making Lennon jump, but still, smile once she saw who was approaching her and accepted the hug she was about to be pulled into. "You're back!"

"Lennon's here?" Someone else asked, and soon enough, everyone who Brock was with rushed by him to see their friend. 

"Hey, guys!" She greeted happily, a much different mood than how her reunion with Brock was a week prior. 

"Are you here all summer?" 

"I am," Lennon confirmed, still smiling. 

"That's awesome," said Claire, Sam's girlfriend. "We've been waiting to see when you'd get here. We missed you! Is Mick here too?"

"Yeah, he is," Lennon responded, letting the group know that her brother had returned to the lake as well. "He's at the house right now helping my dad get the new barbecue set up. I was sent here to pick up things to get grilled tonight."

She then held up the plastic bag she was carrying for emphasis, earning chuckles from the rest of the group. 

"Well, we won't keep you then," stated one of Brock's roommates. "But come over to the house soon, and we'll all hang out."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll see you guys later!"

Everyone said goodbye to Lennon, then continued on their way, but Brock stayed back. She still hadn't noticed him, and he didn't want her to feel cornered by him, especially around their friends, but he needed to talk to her. Just the two of them.

He observed her as she watched their friends walk down the dock, taking in the jean shorts and mint green tank top she wore, then cleared his throat, making Lennon snap her attention in his direction and not missing the way her eyes widened as she did so. 

"Hey, Lemon," he greeted her and felt an instant wave of relief wash over him while he saw her expression soften as he said that. 

"You're never going to drop that nickname, are you?" She asked while shaking her head and smiling.

Brock pursed his lips and looked away from her as if he was deeply considering her question but couldn't help the small laugh that left his mouth as he did. 

"No, I don't think I can."

"Right. Whatever you say, Broccoli."

At that, Brock's grin grew much wider. Hearing Lennon call him the nickname she's always said in response to him calling her, Lemon, hit differently this time because, although he knew things weren't normal between them, it almost seemed like it was. But, it was short-lived because his nagging thoughts about the girl standing in front of him started creeping back, making his smile falter a little bit. 

"Brock?" Lennon asked, noticing how he was getting too deep in his thoughts. Something she knew he did often. "You ok?"

"Yeah," he replied and shook his head slightly. "I was just thinking. Um, listen, can we talk? You know, about… everything?"

Lennon let out a sigh, knowing this conversation needed to happen between the two of them, but still not sure if she was ready to have it just yet. "I don't know what to say."

"Me neither, to be honest. But maybe we can start with what happened last summer and how you're seeing someone else now?"

"Brock, me and you aren't in a relationship. You can’t corner me like that. I don't owe you an explanation."

"Lennon, that's not fair and you know that’s not what I’m doing," he stated. "I'm not saying you have to explain yourself. That's your business, whether I like it or not. But, I would like to know where we stand because I have thought about you every day for the past ten months and seeing you on that boat last week sucked. I was caught off guard, but that doesn't matter. I just miss my friend and don't want this summer to be weird because we slept together when clearly it didn't mean anything."

Once Brock finished his spiel, Lennon took a shaky breath then let her gaze fall to the ground, knowing he had a point. 

"I'm sorry," she spoke softly. "You're right, it's not fair, and I'm also sorry for just leaving you last year. But Brock, I don't know what to tell you right now because I know it's not going to be what you want to hear."

"The least you could do, as my friend, is tell me why. Why did you leave and act as though nothing happened between us and avoid me completely?"

"I panicked, ok!"

"About what?" Brock questioned, feeling even more lost than before. "Len, what are you talking about?"

“Because Brock, before we slept together, it was just you and the lake,” she explained. “It was easy. It was like we lived separate lives, and that worked until they crossed paths again in the summertime. Maybe having sex messed that up, but I don’t want it to. I want things back to the way they were.”

“Why do we have to live separate lives outside of the lake? You’re one of my best friends. I would love to share all of my life with you. But I feel like I know nothing about you.”

“Why now, though? Why didn’t you want me to be part of your life or know more about mine away from here before last summer?”

“I never said I didn’t!” He stated firmly and stressfully pushed his hand through his hair. “That’s just always been how we worked. How can you expect me to know that was something you wanted when you didn’t express it either, Lennon? But I will say this; I care about you. I have feelings for you, alright? If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have asked you to stay over on that night last summer. That all seems pretty irrelevant now, though.”

"I-," Lennon started but had to stop as a voice cut her off. 

"There she is," Max said as he and another guy that Brock didn't recognize approached them. "And Brock! Good to see you again."

"Uh, yeah," Brock replied hesitantly, suddenly not knowing what to say as he watched Max casually walk up and wrap his arm around Lennon's waist. "You too."

"Did we interrupt something?" Max asked while glancing at the other guy he was with, then moved his gaze between Brock and Lennon. 

"No," Brock spoke and looked Lennon dead in the eye. "I guess we're done talking. I'll see you guys around."

"Brock, wait," Lennon said and pulled away from Max as Brock walked past them. 

"Just like you, I don’t know what else to say, Lennon. Say hi to your family for me."

And with that, Lennon was left watching Brock leave her behind this time.

Later that evening, Brock was at home with his roommates, putting some plates into the dishwasher after they were all finished eating when Milo and Coolie started barking like crazy. He wasn't sure what was going on and looked at the rest of the guys, who all shrugged in response, then went over to the glass sliding door the dogs were standing in front of and saw what had them acting the way they were. 

Outside he saw a woman hopping off a jetski, then watched as she pulled it up to the small shore that met his property. Once she was sure the jetski was beached enough and took off her lifejacket, she walked up the slope that led to the rest of the lawn, then walked across the grass onto the dock before sitting down at the edge of it and facing the water like she owned the place. It didn't take long for Brock to realize the girl was Lennon. 

He then looked back at his roommates, all of who were watching him intently, almost as if they knew this was coming, but they all quickly looked away and pretended to be busy looking at something else. Brock rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. He didn't want to give them the satisfaction of a response, so instead, he stayed silent and opened the door so he could step outside. 

Milo and Coolie continued barking as Brock slipped by them but didn't let them outside with him. He knew that Lennon wouldn't have just shown up unannounced after the talk they had earlier that day unless she really needed to get something off her chest, and Brock wanted to hear what she had to say without any interruption. 

Lennon didn't look back as he walked across the grass and onto the dock. It was like she knew he'd join her regardless of how rough things may have seemed between them. And she would've been right for assuming that. As much as Brock wanted to be mad at Lennon, it still seemed like magnets pulled him towards her, and it just wasn't possible for him to fight. 

Brock didn't say anything as he sat down next to his friend, just joined her in silence while they both looked out over the water and observed the sun as it began its descent in the late evening sky, but he couldn't keep himself from observing Lennon out of the corner of his eye and taking in how she looked. 

Her hair wasn't tied back or anything. It just fell down her back in loose natural waves that shifted ever so slightly whenever there was a breeze. She wore a faded red Beatles pullover, which was somewhat ironic seeing as she was named after one of the band's members, making Brock smile because that was just a very Lennon thing to do. The sweater was paired with some jean shorts and Nike slides, but what caught his attention the most was her eyes. Lennon had light brown eyes that Brock thought were stunning all the time, but when the sun hit them just right, like it did in that moment, they seemed golden almost, and it was so hard to look away. He's always loved her eyes. 

However, his moment of observing her in silence was cut short when she let out a sigh and then glanced towards him. 

"New York," Lennon stated, earning herself a confused look from Brock. 

"New York?" He asked, genuinely unsure of what she was implying. "Lennon-."

"That's where I'm from," she elaborated, then looked from him to the water again. "Upstate New York, to be exact, near the Buffalo area. My birthday is November 2nd. I was actually born in Minneapolis, but my parents moved when me and Mick were about ten months old for work and I hadn’t been back until they bought the lake house. Uh, when my parents found out my mom was pregnant, they thought they were expecting twin boys at first. They wanted to name me John after the Beatles still and then Michael after Mick Jagger, but when I came out a girl, they had to improvise."

Brock was speechless. He was so shocked. Lennon was telling him everything that he's always wondered about her and then some. He was intrigued, and there was no way he would stop her from sharing whatever she wanted to say.

"As you know, I took English and Literature in university," she continued. "I took that program at NYU and have been living in New York City for the past five years because of it. I have a freelancing job, which has been paying the bills. I've also spent the last month and a half applying to various master's programs at different schools, and it's been pretty discouraging if I'm completely honest. Since moving to NYC, I've made many trips to Toronto to visit Mick, seeing as that's where he went to school, but coming back to the lake each summer remains my favourite place to be, and you are a huge part of why Brock."

"Lemon, I didn't know any of this," he replied, shaking his head as he still processed everything she said. 

"I know, that's why I'm telling you."

"Wow, I, I don't even know what to say. I've always wondered these things about you, but other than seeing you here; you've always been like a blank slate to me. I've known you for so long now, but I've never known so much about you. I just figured you never really wanted me to be part of your life outside of summer, y'know?"

"Yeah, about that," Lennon started and let out a small laugh. "That is so incorrect. You don't even know."

"What do you mean?" Brock questioned, feeling puzzled by her again.

"My friends in New York are huge into sports," she explained. "I can't even begin to explain how many times I've been dragged to a Yankees or Knicks game, but when it comes to the Rangers, I always look forward to it a bit more. They're not my team, I've got to give props to the Sabres for the hometown representation, and because of Mick, I started not entirely hating the Leafs. What always surprises my friends, though, is how adamant I get about going to the Rangers games whenever Vancouver is in the city. But I haven't told them I have a friend that plays on the team. They just think it's odd that I have a Boeser jersey."

"Woah, wait a minute. You've seen me play hockey?"

"Every time you've been in New York since starting with the Canucks, yeah."

"Lennon, what the hell?" He asked disbelievingly. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

Lennon just shrugged before responding. "Like I said earlier today, Brock, it's always been you and the lake. I thought about messaging you but then figured you might not want me to and chickened myself out, so I never did. I don't know why I didn't just reach out, but now you know. So, please, never assume that I don't think about you when I'm not here. Because I do, all the damn time. And what happened between us last summer did mean something to me. You are way too important for it to not. I could never consider you as just a random hookup, Broccoli."

Brock could feel his heart swell an insane amount as she said that, but before he could say what he really wanted to in response, he needed to know something still. 

"What about Max?"

"Max is not my boyfriend," she stated, not missing a beat. "He's one of my best friends from school, yeah, but we are not together. He's from Minneapolis, which was how we actually bonded when we first met after telling him my dad was from this area. And let me tell you, I've told him if I'm still single by 40, we're getting married, but I don't think that'll be happening. He's very happy with his boyfriend, Connor, who was on the dock with us earlier, and I would've happily introduced you to if you hadn't stormed away before I got the chance."

"For fucks sake," Brock said, not being able to stop himself from grinning at how stupidly he overreacted. "I am so bad for jumping to conclusions, aren't I?"

"You always have been."

They laughed together as Lennon nudged him with her shoulder teasingly, then a comfortable silence fell amongst them again. However, it didn't last too long because Lennon was speaking again soon after. 

"I really am sorry for just leaving you last summer," she told him softly. "It's just- I knew I was going back to New York, and I figured it'd be easier if we didn't talk about what happened for both of us. I shouldn't have assumed that. It wasn't fair to you. But, I also have spent the last ten months thinking about you constantly. I like you too, Brock, more than I can explain, and I just feel stupidly vulnerable admitting that, but I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't have feelings for you that weren't entirely platonic. I don't expect things between us to be like they were last summer, but I missed you a whole freaking lot this past year and will be glad to have my best friend back."

"I would love nothing more than for that to happen," Brock responded and waited for her to look at him again before continuing. "Maybe we can; I don't know, take things slow? We can see what happens over the summer, what it all leads to and you know, actually talk after. I also want to know as much about you as I can, but only if you'll let me.”

"Please. And yes, I'll tell you whatever it is you want to know. I want to get to know more about you too if that's ok."

"Of course it is, I'd like that," he replied before falling silent again as his gaze dropped to her lips. Brock was overcome with the urge to close the already small space between him and Lennon by kissing her, but he didn't. Although he was pretty sure she wouldn't necessarily be opposed to him doing that, he didn't want to fuck this up by rushing into anything again. She, too, was way more than just a hookup to him and Brock wanted to make sure she knew that. "Will you stay over tonight?"

Lennon's eyes widened in surprise at Brock's question, but she quickly realized he wasn't trying to make a move. He just wanted to spend more time with her, and honestly, she loved the idea of just hanging out with him all night.

"Yes, absolutely," she stated. "I'll also never say no to Milo and Coolie snugs."

"Good, because I'm pretty sure I can still hear Coolie whining over the fact that he can't come out here and see you."

The two of them laughed, then stayed sitting together for a few more moments before Brock eventually stood and helped Lennon up, then made their way back to the house together.

~*~

Although nothing intimate happened that night between Brock and Lennon, aside from some cuddling as they both fell asleep in his bed, it set the pace for the rest of their summer. The two, once again, became inseparable. 

The next few weeks went by very quickly, and everything was great. Lennon was over at Brock’s all the time, and he made sure to go over to her family’s house and visit with them lots too. Things were normal again. There was no tension as they hung out with all their friends. Brock even got to know Max a bit better, who, to Brock, ended up being a really cool guy. It was nice for him to hear more stories about Lennon’s life outside of the lake, and Brock loved every minute of it. 

However, as good as things were with the two of them while keeping their relationship platonic, there was no denying both Brock and Lennon had intense feelings for each other. 

From an outside perspective, it was apparent how much those two cared for each other, and it was often shown in the little things. It was gestures like Brock pulling Lennon onto his lap and wrapping her up in the blanket he had with him while having a bonfire. Or the time Lennon briefly gave Brock his Minnesota sweater back for a few hours while he was over at her house because she wanted it to smell like him again. It was so obvious the two of them had a thing. And yet, nothing more happened between them. They were both afraid that it may get fucked up again, which neither wanted. Especially with how fast summer seemed to pass by. 

One Friday afternoon in late July, things hit a rough patch again. 

Brock and Lennon were at his place, hanging out on the stairs of the back deck with Milo and Coolie, when Lennon dropped the bomb about having to leave the lake in the upcoming days. 

Understandably, Brock was confused. He knew that he’d have to return to Vancouver in a few weeks to get ready for training camp and the upcoming season with the Canucks, but Brock thought he still had a few weeks left with Lennon at least. Brock took the news pretty well, but when he asked her why, feeling like he could after the talk they had on the dock over a month prior, she started shutting him out again. 

“I’m moving,” Lennon stated as she shifted away from Brock, not getting up from where she sat between his legs on the step in front of him, but enough to let his arms, which he had wrapped around her shoulders as she leaned back against him, fall to his side again. “I have to go back to New York on Monday and start packing up my apartment. My master’s program isn’t there, and I knew this was coming. I just didn’t think it’d be so soon.”

Brock understood, he really did, but then he got thinking and became confused. 

“You never told me you got into your program, Len. That’s great,” he replied and leaned forward so he could look at her better. “Where are you moving to?”

“Oh, um, you know, nowhere spectacular. Just the west coast.”

“Nice, what school? Maybe if it’s near a city with an NHL team, we can meet up when I play there. I’d also love for you to visit me in Vancouver if you’re able to or up for it.”

“Yeah, maybe,” she replied, smiling because she really liked that idea, but then it was like a switch went off in her mind, and that expression soon fell as she stood up from the stairs and turned to face him. “You know what, Brock, I have to go. I think my mom needed my help with something.”

That puzzled Brock even more. 

“I was at your house with you yesterday when your parents left for Minneapolis,” he reminded her with a small laugh. “They said they were going for the weekend.”

“Oh, right.”

“Yeah. Uh, Is everything alright? You’re acting weird all of a sudden.”

“Everything’s fine,” Lennon lied, which Brock was aware of with the way she started picking at her nails and avoiding making eye contact with him. “I just have a lot on my mind, I guess.”

“Lemon,” he started softly. “You know you can talk to me, right? You don’t have to block me out again.”

Lennon let out a sarcastic chuckle. 

“Why does everyone always say that? Lennon quit blocking people out. Lennon, no one will continue breaking down those walls you put up all the time… But, no one gets that it’s just easier for me that way. I feel safer. It’s nothing personal.”

Brock’s expression fell at that a bit. “I get that, I do. Sometimes it is easier that way, but it’s also very lonely. You have people in your life that aren’t going to hurt you the way you think someone could. I want to think I’m one of those people.”

“You are, Broccoli,” she assured. “You always have been. I just, I can’t help but always think of the worst possible situation when going into new things. That’s just how my mind works. And even when it comes to you, when it comes to us and whatever we are, I’m still scared because there are so many unknowns. We don’t know what will happen when I leave for New York again, and I know I should’ve told you sooner, but I didn’t want to dampen the rest of our time here together. This has been the best summer I’ve had in a long time, and I didn’t want to ruin it.”

“You’re not ruining it,” he explained. “We know we both can’t stay at the lake forever, but that doesn’t mean we can’t bring what we have here with us when we leave. Lennon, I want you in my life all year round, not just when we’re here. I wish you realized that. And now, once you leave, it’s like I know nothing all over again because you won’t let me in enough to tell me. Which honestly sucks a lot.”

Lennon just looked back at him, not caring that her eyes were on the brink of overflowing with tears as she processed what he said. Brock cared for her. Probably more than any other guy she’s ever felt this intense of feelings for, but she was still absolutely terrified of accepting that for some reason. 

“I’m sorry, Brock,” she said, then took a shaky breath as she stepped further away from him and started backing down the stairs. “I- I’m going to go, and please, don’t come after me. I promise I’ll say bye before I leave, but I just need to think.”

She then turned and rushed down the rest of the stairs without looking back. Brock immediately stood up and went to call after her, but Lennon was already rounding the corner that led to the driveway and soon disappeared out of sight. Milo and Coolie were about to go after her, but Brock stopped them as he heard a door close and the sounds of a car pulling out of the driveway. She was already gone again, and there was nothing he could do about it. 

That night, Brock went to one of the bars nearby with their group of friends for a karaoke night. Lennon was initially supposed to join him and his roommates to venture over there together, but he knew that would no longer be the case after what happened earlier. 

After Lennon left, Brock went back inside the house, and his roommates just knew something went down between them. However, when they asked, Brock didn’t want to talk about it and just kind of went to his room alone until it was time to leave later on.  

He thought going out with their friends would make him feel a bit better and at least get his mind off the situation, but Lennon’s absence was way too noticeable for him even to try to enjoy himself. Brock didn’t take part in karaoke. Instead, he sat at one of the tables nursing a seltzer that was room temperature because he just wasn’t in the mood. 

After an hour passed and Brock still hadn’t finished the drink or taken much part in the group outing whatsoever, he figured he might as well call it an early night and head home. However, before he could, someone sat down next to him and started talking to him. 

“What are you doing over here by yourself?” Asked Michael, Lennon’s twin brother, before he sipped on his beer and gave Brock a judgy look that resembled the same one he’d received from Lennon many times before. 

“Hey, Mick,” Brock greeted with a smile. “I’m just not feeling it, I guess. I think I’m going head out soon.”

“Fair enough. It seems like my sister felt the same way. What a no-show.”

Mick scoffed jokingly, then looked around at their friends. Brock let out a small laugh and shrugged in response, but then he figured that maybe he could ask about Lennon seeing as he knew her twin probably knew more than he did. 

“Speaking of your sister, do you know why she didn’t want to come out tonight?”

“I’m surprised you don’t,” Mick deadpanned. “But no, I haven’t been home. I figured she’d be here with you, actually, but I guess you never really know with her. I don’t know how you’re going to put up with living in the same place as her beyond the summer.”

“Same place as her?” Brock asked.

“Yeah, Lennon got accepted to do her master’s at UBC in Van,” Mick replied, then watched as Brock’s eyes widened in shock. “Woah, wait. She didn’t tell you, did she?”

“No, didn’t mention it at all.”

“Fuck, of course not. I honestly wish I could say I was surprised, but then I’d be lying.”

Brock glanced down for a brief moment, still processing what he just told, then shook his head before responding. “Mick, I say this in the nicest way possible, but Lennon gives me fucking whiplash, I swear.”

“Join the club,” Mick laughed. “I’ve been president for almost 24 years now.”

“I just, how could she not tell me?”

At that, Mick’s expression turned a bit more serious than it was before, then he sighed. 

“I know it may not seem like it right now, but she really does care about you, Brock. More than she’ll let herself admit. You’re someone that’s important to her and has been for a very long time.”

“I wish she had a better way of showing it. Then I wouldn’t have to doubt so much.”

“I know,” Mick replied. “It’s a lot. But, let me tell you that what Lennon feels for you is very different from what she’s felt for any other guy before. My sister has been in a relationship with a fair share of people. I’m talking frat guys to Wall Street douchebags, she has had a few what could have been serious relationships, but those guys were not it for her. They betrayed her trust, belittled her for getting too in her head at times and then left her in the dust after they broke her. She’s always blamed herself for that and hated that she even bothered putting her heart out there, so it’s something she struggles with. But with you, Brock, she can be herself. I see Lennon at her happiest when we’re here, and it’s because of you. That’s not even something I have to think about because it’s always been that way. You’re her best friend, but what she feels for you is more than that and what it is, is that she’s scared to admit it. She doesn’t want to ruin what the two of you already have or risk getting hurt in doing so.”

Brock didn’t know what to say. He hung on to every single word that Mick said and took a moment for him to wrap his head around it all, but he already knew what to say. He’d known for a while.

“Mick, there is not a single part of me that would ever want to hurt her,” Brock explained. “Lennon is just such an important part of my life, and after what happened last summer, I also didn’t want to fuck up what we have. But, I really want to.”

“I know,” Mick stated. “And I trust you with her, Brock, that’s why I told you all of this. I don’t think you’ll hurt my sister, and she deserves someone like you. Now, I know you probably have more that you want to say on that topic, but why don’t you say it to her. She’s gotta be at home, and I just think the two of you need to not lie about how you feel anymore.”

As Mick said that, Brock couldn’t help but smile, then nod in agreement before standing up and grabbing his keys. “You’re right. I’m going to go talk to her. Thanks, Mick. I’ll see you around.”

“Make good choices!”

It didn’t take long for Brock to drive to Lennon’s house, but everything was dark when he got there. He thought about texting her but decided against it because he knew she wouldn’t answer. So instead, he got out of his car and listened. Sure enough, he could hear City and Colour’s The Girl playing softly from the backyard and knew she was there. 

Brock shut the car door, knowing that Lennon would hear it, then walked down the driveway on a mission. 

By the time he reached the backyard, Lennon was leaning over the railing, trying to see who it was that just got there, and Brock didn’t miss the way her eyes widened in surprise after realizing it was him.

“Brock?” She asked, then moved over to the top of the stairs as he climbed up them, still not saying anything. “What’re you-.”

Before Lennon could finish asking her question, she was cut off by Brock as he wrapped his arms around her middle and pulled her towards him, not stopping until their lips met in a very firm yet delicate kiss. He took her by surprise, but Lennon reacted by closing her eyes and melting into his touch, then wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and kept him close as she deepened the kiss. 

After a moment, the two of them broke away slightly, and Brock leaned his head against her’s, smiling like crazy. 

“I wish I didn’t wait a month to do that again,” he said, making Lennon laugh.

“I’m not complaining,” she replied. “That’s definitely one way to make an entrance, though. But why do I have a feeling there’s more to why you’re here besides just wanting to kiss me?”

Brock smiled at that because she was right, but before he could respond, he needed to think about what he wanted to say first. As he did that, he noticed that she was wearing the same outfit as she was earlier, right down to the messy bun, but now she wore his Minnesota sweater again, and his smile grew at that. Although the sun had already set, Lennon’s eyes still glowed with how the fairy lights strung around the deck reflected in them and that mixed with the Dallas Green’s voice still singing in the background. It was tough for Brock not to just lean down and kiss her again. But he knew he couldn’t, not right away at least.

“You’re right,” he told her, then let out a breath and smirked as the song changed to She Will Be Loved. “There’s something else I want to talk about, something we haven’t discussed yet.”

“What’s that?”

“Come back to Vancouver with me. After you’re packed up in New York, let’s go to Van together.”

“Wait, you know that’s where I’m moving?” Lennon asked, surprised. “Mick told you, didn’t he? Brock, I didn’t tell you because I thought-.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” Brock cut off her ranting and smiled. “It doesn’t matter. I want you there, Lennon. I want to be with you while you’re there, as more than just your friend.”

A surprised gasp left Lennon’s mouth, but she recovered quickly by smiling and pulling him in for another kiss. 

“As long as I get to do that all the time, I’m game,” she responded after she broke away from him briefly, then let him close the space between them again. 

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

Without even having to voice it, Lennon started leading him back towards the house, hinting at how she wanted him to stay the night, and there was no way Brock was going to say no to that.

~*~

“I had a feeling you’d have a lot of things, but I was not expecting this,” Brock huffed as he peeked out from behind a stack of moving boxes. He and Lennon were standing in the living room of her new Vancouver apartment, getting ready to unpack everything. “This is excessive.”

“Shut up, the place was unfurnished,” she grumbled in response. “What did you expect?”

“I’m just saying, this would’ve been a lot less of a hassle if you had moved in with me.”

Lennon gave her boyfriend an unimpressed look, which he responded to with a wink and a smirk before he walked towards her and pulled her into his embrace. 

It was the end of August, and Lennon was finally ready to move into her new place. After she left the lake for New York a month prior, it took her about a week to get everything packed up and organized for the move to British Columbia. Lennon already had a storage locker rented in Vancouver to keep her stuff in until she was able to start moving into her apartment and had plans to go back to the lake until her lease began on the first of September and spend the rest of the summer with Brock. However, when she, Mick and their parents landed at the Vancouver airport, he was already there waiting for them. 

He helped them get everything to the storage locker. Then, after Lennon’s family left to go back to the lake, she stayed with Brock at his condo with Milo and Coolie for about three weeks before getting the keys to her place.

“That’s a little forward, don’t you think?” Lennon teased him. “What a strange thing to say to your girlfriend of what, a month?”

“I mean, I’ve also known my girlfriend for almost half my life, so does that month really make a difference?”

“Cheeky,” she responded, then stood on her tiptoes so she could peck his lips before moving away from him and over to where her phone rested on the small breakfast bar. “We can see where we’re at when this lease is up. But for now, I hope you’re ready to listen to the entire Lumineers discography as we start tackling these boxes.”

“Oh, you know it,” he told her as a matter -of- factly. “And let’s not forget about the wine in the fridge.”

“Yes, we can enjoy it once there’s room to sit down somewhere.”

Brock laughed in response and shook his head as Lennon pressed play on her phone and Sleep On The Floor started playing from her Bluetooth speaker. 

The two of them then started moving the boxes labelled ‘clothes’ to Lennon’s bedroom and started there. All of the furniture Lennon bought was set up already, so it was just a matter of putting things away and getting them organized. They got right to work, and although Brock was going to leave putting the clothes away to Lennon, so they went where she wanted, he figured he could at least unpack them so that she could just grab the items and go. Lennon grabbed a box and started unpacking it, so Brock did the same but had to pause once he opened the box closest to him and saw what was there. 

Laying on top of a pile of sweaters was the Boeser jersey Lennon told him about. Until that moment, Brock completely forgot that she had one, but it sure made him feel good seeing it for himself. A smile tugged at his lips as he lifted it from the box and set it on the bed, then glanced at Lennon to see if she saw his reaction. She was busy getting ready to hang things up in the closet, proving that she hadn’t seen him, which Brock was perfectly content with. He did, however, feel himself getting overly happy at the thought of seeing her wear the jersey that upcoming season and grinned even wider because of it. Brock had a really good feeling about them as a couple and couldn’t wait to see where things went from there.

[thebrochtuarachs]

Something in the Rain - “Finding Solid Ground”

A/N:  Hi all! This chapter has been in the drafts for quite sometime now but I only had the time to pick up the writing. Thank you so much for your patience with my slow updates but rest assured, I absolutely love this story and daydream about the chapters ahead. As always, your comment and suggestions help a lot moving this story forward. Hope you all are keeping safe and healthy! Till the next one!

AO3  / C1: A Day In June : C2: Definitely, Maybe : C3: So We Meet Again : C4: Friday Lunch

XXXXX

She was 45 minutes late.

Claire was running as fast as she could, catching some curious eyes on her as she raced towards Mrs. Kim’s Korean Street Food Hub to hopefully, still catch Jamie for their lunch.

She got off from her morning surgery quite late due to some complications but she still went as courtesy and because, in all honesty, she still wanted to see him. Their last encounter kind of left them in an awkward place and she was hoping that this meeting could help clarify some things. She has been waiting for this all week but alas, life (and medicine) had other plans.

Claire entered the store and knew instantly that he wasn’t there. The place was empty after the lunch rush and she sighed in disappointment.

“Claire!” Mrs. Kim suddenly called out. “This is for you, left by your friend”, she said while handing her a piece of paper.

“Thank you” Claire replied, opening it on spot.

Hi Claire,

Sorry, I left before you arrived but I have to get back to the office. Don’t worry about the wait, I really don’t mind but I just have a packed schedule today.

Forgive me if this is too forward but here’s my number. No pressure! Just figured we can text or call whenever is a better time to catch up. Just hit me up when you feel like it and I’ll be on the other line.

I do hope to hear from you soon. If not, I’ll be here next Friday, same time :)

Jamie

Claire did not waste any more time and punched in Jamie’s mobile number to call. After three rings, he answered.

“Hello?”

“Jamie? It’s me, Claire.”

“Claire, hi! I see you got my note.”

“I did. I am so sorry. My surgery ran a little bit long and…”

“Don’t worry, I figured that must be it.” he said cheerfully, cutting her off before she went into a long explanation. “I mean, you save lives and all, couldn’t be angry about that.”

Claire sighed relief on the other line and couldn’t believe just how understanding he is. So understanding that she’s starting to wonder if he’s even real. She hasn't really met anyone that chivalrous and it captures her.

“Oh, wow. Thank you - and thank you for the note and your number. My guilt would’ve eaten me alive if I couldn’t apologize to you.”

“You don’t think it was too forward?”

“No, not at all. To be honest, I was going to ask it last week before we got, erm, interrupted.”

“Well, that’s good to know. And in any case, I would’ve given it.” Jamie said.

She could hear his smile from the other line and she couldn’t help but smile too.

“Anyhow,” Claire followed. “I am so sorry I missed you today. To make up for it, would you happen to be doing anything tomorrow?”

“Hmm, let me check." Jamie checked his board calendar. "Nope, my weekend is free. Anything you had in mind?”

“Well, if you’re up for it, I’d like to invite you to the center tomorrow, see what we’re doing with the kids. Fair warning though, they get a little rowdy sometimes.”

“I’m game! Text me the details and what time to meet you.”

“Really? Great! Sure, I’ll text you the details in a bit”

“Will wait for it. Claire, sorry to cut this short but I have to run to a meeting. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Oh no, please. Go ahead. I’ll see you tomorrow, Alright, bye!”

-

It was a Saturday, two weeks since their encounter by the crossing, and now she’s waiting for him to arrive and bring him to one of the most special places for her.

Claire hadn’t absolutely thought through what inviting Jamie to the center would mean. Reflecting on yesterday, a part of Claire thought she may have panicked and this invite might’ve been a mistake. On another end was a part of her that was excited to see him and if she was really being honest, spend time with him, and show her the work they have been doing.

She had told her their meeting story and the extended invite to her friends and staff but left out the part about their lunches. She messaged the team on WhatsApp about their upcoming guest and her inbox has blown with messages asking her for more details about the man himself. She messaged that they’ll be able to find out for themselves tomorrow when they meet him and turned off her phone.

“Claire?” Deep in thought she hadn’t seen or hear Jamie arrive. “You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. Spaced out there for a bit” she embarrassingly admitted.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Jamie asked as Claire pointed the way in.

“Erm, nothing much. Just thinking about giving you fair warning about everyone upstairs. They’re quite curious about you, Jamie Fraser.” she said jokingly the half truth.

Jamie got a bit nervous suddenly and Claire felt it. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll save you if they get too rowdy. Be ready to answer questions though." She said, smiling, hoping to ease his thoughts.

“Is any topic off limits? Should I not mention anything to them?”

“I leave it to you. But if you ask me, just be yourself and charm everyone away”

Jamie chuckled and Claire turned to him. “What?”

“You think I’m charming?”

Claire laughed and smacked him in the arm. “Oh, bug off!”

“I’ll take that as a yes”

“Anyway!” Claire interrupted. “Today’s event is just art and crafts and a story session. The rest, the kids can do and play how ever they like. I usually just play with any kid who asks me to and time just flies and suddenly, the afternoon is done.”

���Got it. I honestly hope I can help more than distract or whatever”

“Pssh, you’ll be fine, Jamie. You’ll be fine”

--

The moment the elevator doors opened, a line of people greeted Jamie and Claire at the entrance.

“Hello, everyone” Claire greeted but to her surprise, no one spoke or moved. Everyone was just looking at Jamie. “This is Jamie. Jamie Fraser, our guest for today”

She ushered them closer to the stunned group and began to introduce them one by one.

Mary, the receptionist and admin assistant.

Mrs. Graham, the secretariat and head of operations.

Joe, also a surgeon from Claire’s hospital.

Frank, the history professor he’d met a week earlier.

Geilis, a botanist and herbalist.

“It’s nice to meet you all. Thank you for having me this afternoon.” Jamie said and it was only then that the ice was broken.

“Hi, Jamie was it? Can I call you Jamie?” Mrs. Graham prodded.

“Yes, Mam”

“Alright, this way. Let me show you around”

As Mrs. Graham swept Jamie away for a short tour, the rest of the group crowded Claire with questions.

“Okay, he is even more handsome than in the pictures!” Geilis excitedly said.

“Pictures?” Claire asked.

“Ugh, I sometimes forget you’re a doctor who needs to catch up to the times” Geilis pinched her nose jokingly. “Jamie was named one of Scotland’s most eligible bachelors in a tatler magazine last year. There’s pretty striking photos of him in a tux and in casual clothes.”

“I remember that issue. Gail had one lying in the house and I happen to peruse it one time. You’re right, the pictures don’t do him justice.” Joe chimed in.

“I had no idea. I mean, I just literally bumped into the guy on the street!” Claire said, a curiosity pooling in her mind. She had to look for that magazine later.

“Such a meet-cute story. Ugh, Claire! It’s like something out of the books or movies” Geilis added.

“Psh, he seems too manly for me. I mean, who is that fit and that put together.” Frank mused.

“I think he’s quite charming” Joe added.

“If you ask me, Claire, I don’t know what’s going on between you two but keep it going” Geilis added.

“Aish, nothing is going on. I just extended a polite invite to make up for - “ Claire stopped as Jamie and Mrs. Graham arrived back, thankful for the Interruption.

“Make up for what?” Geilis asked, not missing that info.

“Oh, nothing.”

“Mhm” Geilis hummed raising an eyebrow to Claire. She’ll pull it out of her later.

---

It was a long but fun afternoon for everyone.

Afterwards, one by one, the space cleared out, the kids were picked up, saying goodbye to the staff with some even approaching and waving at Jamie as they left, leaving him with a heartwarming feeling.

“Well, another successful weekend, folks!” Frank called out and the team gave themselves applause.

“Great job to Joe and Mary for taking on the storytelling and painting sessions this afternoon and I would also like to thank our guest, Jamie, for being patient and helpful with the kids” Mrs. Graham added, earning another group applause.

“Thank ye, I hope I helped at all today but otherwise, I enjoyed today and thank ye for inviting me.” Jamie shared.

“Come join us anytime” Joe patted him on the back. “Alright, everyone, have a goodnight. See you all next week, I’ll bring Gail and Lenny along.” With that he made a way for the elevator and it was everyone’s cue to leave.

Claire approached Jamie just as he was going to her. “Well, how are you and how was it?” she asked. If she expected to spend time with Jamie, well, it didn’t happen. First, he was whisked away by Mrs. Graham. Afterwards, it was Joe asking help to build his set. Next up was Mary who got him assisting on getting and serving the food, and the rest of the time, it was kids calling out on Jamie here and there and he was more than happy to oblige.

“Fun and a little bit tiring” he replied and Claire gave a small laugh. “But in all honesty, thank ye for inviting me to come here. Made me miss my niece and nephew”

“I’m glad you had fun and I’m glad you got to see what we’re doing here.”

Jamie might be overthinking things but he knew that Claire sharing this part of her to him seems like a big thing and he intends to cherish that.

“Anyway, I’d like to offer to drive ye home...or to the nearest bus stop” he added, panicking he put her in a tight spot.

Claire paused, eyed him jokingly, intentionally making him more flush and nervous.

“I’d take that offer but” she began and Jamie swallowed the lump on his throat, “I actually live nearby so we don’t need to drive”

“Okay,” Jamie sighed in relief which Claire found very cute. “Lead the way, then”

[shamylicious-blog]

omg guys woaah ok ok ok..iam beaten ! whats with you :D??! ok iam telling.puuh so um this is going to be long..so i hope you will enjoy :D sorry for my english first y know its not my first language. xD i do my best..ok lets START So my husband and I met when we were both 17 (2007). we got to know each other through a socail network called schülervz it was very popular in germany back in my schooldays. We were both members of a group there and really talked every day from that point onwards, without exceptions. into our group of friends also included someone I met through this group. a girl who has become my best friend all these years. the 3 of us were really inseparable, even if it was only over the internet. that didn’t matter. we were totally honest with each other.  a bond that was 100% trust based. we talked together for hours every day. my husband was a trainee at the time and i graduated in economics and administration. We’d never met until the day we got together. our friendship lasted from 2007 to 2009 june. we were really good friends.just friends. I could tell him when I was interested in someone he could do the same. everything was great. best friends forever you could say. then there was a point in our lives where everything has changed all of a sudden.

one day he called me during the break and said that there was a girl at his work who asked him for a date. From that moment onwards everything went haywire for me. I got very nervous. although he talked to me about girls earlier and everything was totally normal. but that day nothing was normal anymore. i actually got angry..and yes i was jealous and i dont even know exactly why. He told me his story and I asked quite normally, because I’m a damn good friend, who she is and what she is like and if he needs help … (how stupid to offer help with something like that :)) well he just said that hell think about it and that he can do it all byhimself he just wanted me to know. we hung up and my whole day was covered by dark clouds. but we talked normally as usual. A few days passed and I knew that he was still in contact with her. After all, they work together. I couldn’t get rid of the thought that he would one day have a girlfriend. I got really sad. totally normal when people get together. But somehow I don’t like it at all. I didn’t get jealous because someone might be there, I got jealous because i still didn’t have the opportunity to see him for real. everyone else around him could really see him, but I couldn’t and that really messed me up at the time. he lived over 300km away from me. and for us it was a lot of stretch back then. we couldn’t just meet and hang out like others did. 

well at some point i realized that i couldn’t get him out of my head. I fell in love (wow very unexpected) but i still acted like a normal good friend .. because he had someone else to talk to. 

a few weeks passed and we didn’t talk as often as before .. everything changed suddenly and I couldn’t do anything about my broken heart. and I did something really stupid and started talking to someone else. He was from my school at the time and at first it was just normal conversations and then I noticed that he was more interested in me and I just played along because I thought that maybe I could forget him like this. i met with this boy. I also got along very well with him, he was really very nice .. at least at the beginning. One evening my (husband) called me and we talked normally. I also told him that I started meeting someone and he was quite astonished because up until then we hadn’t had the opportunity to talk very often. he was very suspicious. He kept asking me  something like ‘what’s his name how old. is he nice to you, give me his number, i want to talk to him etc. ’ very overprotective but that’s his way. no matter who it is. of course I didn’t allow him to talk to him. after all, its not his business. he himself has someone so why panic. He was then very offended and just said I should be careful and abruptly hung up. (back then I just thought idiot) well it passed about 3 weeks after this talk. i was still in some kind of relationship with this other boy..I say sort of because i couldn’t really warm up myself even though i liked him a lot .. and at this moment where I really wanted to try harder to like him more .. he came and said that he was going to break up. he had found someone who suits him better. i was really at the end ..

 a few days later i got up and my (husband) called me he just wanted to talk after 3 weeks without having spoken a word. he just wanted to talk. I was so mad at him. I cried on the phone and asked him what the problem of men is and whether everyone is so stupid. he himself was totally scared and wanted to know what was happening and I told everything and he got very, very damn angry but he couldn’t do much. and I was exhausted. I just think that I had to cry once. he tried to comfort me but how much comfort is there over the phone. Then suddenly it became quiet and all at once he cried out and said. ’ I’m coming to you.’I thought I wasn’t listening properly. he said that it is finally time that we meet and hang out .. I was totally speechless but totally happy to finally see my best friend for real. we chatted and then planned when and where we could meet. we have agreed that we will meet at my school on the weekend.

2 days left. it got so nervous and the most surprising thing was that it was snowing like crazy on that day … It was in the middle of March and it was snowing heavily. I was totally sad and didn’t know if he would make it with the car .. Such a damn long way and then also snow I panicked. accidents can happen. but he called me constantly during the drive to keep me up to date. In the afternoon I went to school of course everything was quiet (weekend) he called again and said that he would be there in 5 minutes. I couldn’t keep my nerves bare. what should i do ?? a good friend and just hang out together or say what’s on my mind ?? before I could think to the end I saw how he drove around the corner and parked in the school parking lot. my legs wouldn’t go. he got out and he had already seen me from afar and he just grinned with joy. I couldn’t help but grin like a goofy I went up to him and we just said hello, no hugging, nothing (he is to gentlemen xD without permission he wouldn’t lift a finger) but just to see his face in real life was totally enough for me. we decided for a little walk i just showed him my school. and after 2 hours of chatting we arrived at his car and i knew that he would have to leave soon. a long way after all. we just stood there and I didn’t want him to leave without really talking. At the moment when I wanted to say something he started to talk and he apologized for the time he was not with me where I could have needed him. I was totally surprised and started to feel my tears. he was totally confused and tried to calm me down and wiped my tears away (the moment he touched me for the first time, he was also shocked by his behavior could see it and he tried to apologize for touching me) I couldn’t take it anymore, I burst and practically explode. I took my courage together and shouted ‘I LOVE YOU, YOU İDİOT!' 

when i was aware of what i had done i blushed like a tomato .. and i was so mad at myself 'why did you do that he has somebody did you lose your mind what now?’ I couldn’t look at him he himself seemed to be in shock because I hadn’t heard nothing from him.. a few moments later I only heard a sob. when i looked up i actually saw him start crying..I was totally confused. what’s going on now ?! did I miss something. when I wanted to say something he stopped me and yelled back in my face: 'why !? why did you say this?! you spoiled everything! I had to be the one who made this confession first? !! your timing is really bad! damned!’ did I hear correctly he wanted to say it first? so he loves me too ?! I couldn’t tell how happy or sad I was at that moment .. And to be honest, I didn’t have the strength for anything either. I could have just lay in the snow and fell asleep. after a few minutes of silence he was caught and I just stared. he looked at me with a grin this time and then he confessed. every word, i remember everything he said 

‘You know, the day this girl asked me out on a date, you were the one who shot me right in the head. I didn’t know why , but I felt like I was doing you wrong. even if we had never seen each other in real life, I knew that you are everything to me .. even if it’s only as a good friend. and that evening I canceled this girl … the days after that when I wasn’t so talkative with you, was the time when i had to think about everything. maybe i hurt you with it but i just needed the time. and then when we talk again and I wanted to tell you everything you said that you met someone. I thought I wasn’t hearing right I was so angry and disappointed about myself that I just hung up and didn’t want to hear anything more from you..but somehow it didn’t work.I immediately missed your funny , sweet voice. I wanted to call again and apologize . but my hand didn’t want to. the time passed and when we could still talk. I couldn’t help myself anymore, I finally had to see you. from that moment i knew that it could only be you .i couldn’t help but want you. the thought that you would marry someone and that I would be invited as your 'best friend’ … to see you with someone else that would be my end. I had to act quickly and finally meet you. and you are here now and you stood there even though I wanted to do it first … you are really nasty. ’ he just grinned .. and I couldn’t help but laugh along I really wanted to hear it .and told him to say it .. when he stood there and looked at me, he asked me ’miss nasty ..i love you so much..do you want to be my everything?’ I couldn’t help myself and I was wrapped around his neck and we hugged each other so tightly that I hardly got air but it didn’t matter .I was so happy I just cried and so did he … well after that we took our time .. we got to know each other better i finished my school he finished his education our parents got to know each other and in april 2014 we got engaged and got married in the same year at the beginning of november and now we are happy with ourselves and our daughter. 

so thats it here you have it :D it may seem very normal ,cliche, but it was everything to me back than the struggle was real friends..and i treasure every single moment with him..

see ya :)

[delaber]

Blurred Lines

Rafael Casal x Reader

Pairing: Rafael Casal x Reader

Note: Thanks for the prompts! This was fun! Smut prompts can be found here. Feel free to send me more. Angst prompts can be found on my masterlist.

Words: 6.4K

Warnings: A bit of blood and a lot of smut (my buzzwords, apparently)

Tagging: @exrthangel @theatrenerd86​ @lonelydance​ @ohsoverykeri​ @summerofsnowflakes​ @ramp-it-up​ @alexander-hamilhoe​ @honeysucklechocolatedrippin​ @riiyy​ @mysearchforgratification​ @janthony-stan

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Rafa had truly done it this time. He had truly fucked up. Stepped in a pile of shit. Screwed the pooch. Whatever you wanted to call it. All because of a woman in his life who he had never truly appreciated before.

You.

He had always prided himself on his ability to stay cool, calm, and collected when it came to women, but suddenly you had shown up and it had changed everything. Well, he had known you since high school, so you hadn't suddenly shown up per se, but suddenly you had shown up almost naked! Gulp. He couldn't believe he hadn't seen it before. He had always known that you were fine, but it had still taken him almost ten years to realise that you were indeed very, very, very fine!

You had been alluring all summer but for some reason, today was extra torturous: the skimpy little bathing suit tight against your body, how it hugged your tits so he could see your hard nipples through the wet fabric as you emerged from the pool. How it rested against the wonderful shape of your ass. Your skin all wet and slippery. How easy it'd be to just wrap his arms around you and carry you to one of the bedrooms in Diggs' new house. How he could easily make you moan his name repeatedly while he did wonders to your tight little body. Fuck.

Since the day he'd met you, Rafa had always found you insanely cute and funny so naturally he had turned up the charm whenever you were around. You had picked up on it quite fast, had challenged him, and within the first few weeks of your friendship, it had become a continuous game between you; who could flirt the most? Who could make the other person squirm in their own skin? It had always been in good fun and it had never lead to anything apart from whispered sentences late at night and sporadic drunk kisses in the dark. But never more. He had made sure of that.

Of course Rafa had spent some of his teenage years wondering what it would be like to delve into you - but seeing this side to you - seeing you all grown-up and sexy like this just hit differently. He had had a hard time all summer trying to stay as far away from you as possible to not fuck up. Not because he thought he couldn't convince you to spend the night with him, but because he wasn't really sure of the repercussions of sleeping with one of his best friends. At first, he had thought that he just needed to get it out of his system and he had experienced some wonderful sessions of self-relief while imagining you doing all kinds of stuff to him, but after almost three months of lonely nights with the image of your body glued to the back of his eyelids, he realised that he was indeed royally fucked.

From a distance, Rafa watched you neatly lie down your pool towel on a sun bed, in the process flashing your perfect shapes for him. He was well aware that he had been staring at you for quite some time now, but he was wearing his sunglasses and they had been known to conceal a wandering eye or two in the past so he felt safe looking at you from the other end of Diggs' yard. And concealment was of the utmost crucial importance because right now he absolutely could not look away from you: your well-shaped bottom was strutting in the air almost as if inviting him to touch it. He imagined you looking over you shoulder with heavy-hooded eyelids calling him over while touching yourself. He would walk over to you, yank your bathing suit aside, and spread your legs apart for him on the flimsy sun bed. He would delve into you from behind and caress your throat with his lips while you moaned with imminent pleasure. You would—

He suddenly realised how creepy he was being; luring at fine women from a distance?! Pull yourself together, Casal!

With a small shuffle, he tore his gaze away from you and poured himself the drink that he had been meaning to mix before you had stolen away his attention. Vodka Redbull. A horrible drink, really, but he needed the pick-me-up to get over last night's hangover. Sunglasses and advil weren't really doing the trick today.

"She's extra fine this summer isn't she?" Rafa heard his best friend comment beside him.

"Who?" Rafa said quietly as if he had no idea who Diggs was talking about.

Diggs shot Rafa an unimpressed look, "bro, I know you think you're subtle about it, but I've caught you slipping all summer."

Rafa knew his cover was blown. He had never been able to hide anything from his best friend. With a sigh, he mumbled "Has it really been that obvious?"

"I'm not sure if anybody else has noticed but I sure have," Diggs snickered, "you are so smitten!"

"Fuck off bro, I'm not smitten. I could've bagged her ages ago if I wanted to."

"So you wouldn't mind if I walked up to her and made a move?" Diggs arched an eyebrow.

"No," Rafa said, the lie thick in his throat, "- or of course I would mind. It would wound my prospects of ever getting to live out this dirty little fantasy I have in my head, wouldn't it?" he chuckled as he tried to save his obvious lie.

"Oh my, I don't think I've seen you this desperate since... well - ever," Diggs laughed, "and I know she's into you too. Has been for ages. Go turn up the charm for fuck's sake!"

Rafa shot his friend a sideways glance, "we've known her since forever."

"So?"

"A compelling counter-point," Rafa rolled his eyes with a small smirk, "you almost have me convinced."

"Shut up man," Diggs laughed before he continued, "I mean, you've never cared about awkward mornings before. Why do you suddenly care about it with her?"

"She's a good friend," Rafa said quietly.

"Okay, I know what you're thinking; that the absolute worst case scenario is that you guys will never talk to each other again - which, might I add, is highly unlikely!" he quickly added when he saw that Rafa was about to interject. Diggs continued, "you have the same group of friends. You see each other all the time. It simply won't happen. So in my opinion, the worst case scenario is not that you will never talk to each other again, it will in fact be a few months of awkwardness before things bounce back. Who cares? You haven't talked all summer because you're having a hard time keeping it in your pants. You can go on and have a few months of awkwardness afterwards too if it turns out to be weird between you."

"You really think that?" Rafa eyed his best friend for any sign of doubt.

"I'm sure of it," Diggs said resolutely, "you need to give it a shot before someone else comes along and snatches her before your eyes. I know you like her more than what you're telling me."

Rafa had to give it to Diggs; this time, he actually did make a compelling point. "Yeah alright," he groaned before he made a quick decision; he downed the horrible vodka Redbull, mixed two tequila sunrises - your favourite drink, he knew that - and walked over to you with as much swagger as he could muster.

He stopped in front of the tanning bed you were occupying, and immediately attracted your attention as he was shadowing the sun.

"Rafa?" you said and squinted up at him. You had to conceal a small gulp. He looked particularly dreamy today. "Hi..."

Rafa felt his throat run a bit dry, "Hey... I brought you a drink. Tequila sunrise."

"Yeah, uh, thanks..." you eyed him suspiciously as he handed you the tequila sunrise and when he didn't leave afterwards you added, "uhm - would you like to sit down?"

Rafa nodded eagerly and you moved your feet to the side to make room for him on the sun bed next to your body. He sat down close to your knees and had a large sip of his drink, hoping that it would cure some of the dryness he suddenly felt in his throat.

You eyed him intently. It was weird having him up close again. Especially because his absence and weird behaviour had been annoying you all summer. He had been acting totally out of character; he had been almost distant and cold as he had practically ignored you. "What can I do for you, Rafa?" you asked him with a hesitant smile, trying to sound calm. You couldn't reveal how frustrated his absence had made you. He couldn't know that you had been pining after him for years.

Rafa's mind went into overload; oh, what couldn't you do for him? He wanted to let you know that he was one word of approval away from throwing you over his shoulder so he could carry you to Diggs' bedroom. He wanted to do all the things that he had dreamt of for the last couple of months. He wanted you on your knees in front of him. He wanted to tangle his fingers in your hair while your mouth was wrapped around him. He wanted you to send him innocent looks while you let your tongue run over him.

He cleared his throat and shuffled around a bit trying to hide the fact that his slacks had grown a bit tighter. "Uh - I don't need you to do a thing," he said with a secretive smile, "how are you?"

"I'm good," you answered him slowly, still not really sure why he had suddenly approached you. "How about you?"

"I'm perfect," Rafa nodded, "Did you have an alright summer?"

You sent him a surprised smile. He was asking about your summer now? This friendliness he was suddenly portraying seemed to come out of nowhere. "An alright summer, yeah," you leaned back in the sun bed as you realised that you'd have to let Rafa's weird behaviour go. If he had finally worked out whatever had made him act strange since June, it was a good thing for the both of you. It meant that you could have your friend back. You could have your flirting back - and my god, how you had missed being on the receiving end of his excessive flirting!

"Glad to hear it," he smiled at you while running his fingers through his blonde hair.

"You've grown out your hair," you stated with a nod.

"Yeah," Rafa smiled and tugged on one of his long locks, "Diggs kept telling me that I looked 35 with the short hair and the beard, so I figured it'd be best to let it get a bit longer again."

"You look nice," you smiled at him, "I've always liked this hairstyle on you."

Rafa felt an eruption of colour in his chest when he heard your compliment. Relax, Casal, she's just flirting as usual. "Yeah, thanks," he said and looked at his feet to conceal the goofy smile that was slowly creeping onto his lips, "It's really great to see you. I feel like we haven't talked in forever," he muttered quietly.

You had already forgiven him for his weird behaviour but you were still determined to find out why you hadn't talked in forever. You let your gaze pierce through him, "I'm actually quite glad that you approached me," you eyed him. Now seemed just as good a time as any to bring it up, "I've been wanting to talk to you."

"Yeah?" He looked up at you with a twinkle in his eye, "About what?"

You looked around on the other sun beds. Maybe he wasn't too keen on discussing private matters in front of the rest of the gang. "It's a bit crowded out here," you said with a smile, "wanna go inside?"

Rafa nodded eagerly and stood up from the sun bed, pulling you to your feet. "Ladies first," he mumbled and let you walk a few feet in front of him.

"When did you become so gallant?" you laughed at him.

When I realised that you are, in fact, more than averagely well-turned, Rafa thought to himself. He had thought it through; walking a few feet behind you would allow him to look at your well-proportionate body parts swaying in the sunlight without fear of getting caught by you. He was mildly disgusted with himself but pushed the thought away before he followed you inside like an obedient pet, his eyes glued to your tanned legs.

You led Rafa to the secluded kitchen away from the pool area. Alone at last, you turned around and leaned up against the kitchen counter, looking at the handsome man in front of you.

He was having a hard time concentrating on your face as the shift in temperature from the sun outside to the air-conditioned kitchen had made your nipples rock hard. He could see them through the thin fabric of your red bathing suit, and all he wanted to do was to slip his hands under there and massage your tits with his warm hands. He wanted to pull down the straps to reveal your beautiful build to him. He wanted to take your breasts in his mouth and circle your nipples with his tongue until you were begging him to take you to a room with a bed.

"Are you alright?" you asked him when he seemed a little distant.

"Yeah, I'm good," Rafa smirked at the mental image of you on all four in front of him, "what's up?"

"I'm gonna be straight with you. I hope that's okay."

"Of course," Rafa gave himself a mental shake and promised himself that he would concentrate on your words and not your body. This seemed important to you.

"Have you been angry with me?" You looked at him with piercing eyes.

The question took Rafa aback, "What? Why would I have been angry with you?"

"No clue," you shrugged, "but you've been weirdly dismissive all summer and you've kept your distance to me, so I've been wondering if I've done something to upset you."

"No, everything's in perfect order. You've been perfectly fine," he said with a small smirk.

"So we're okay? You and me?"

"Of course," he nodded, "more than okay."

"Good, I'm glad to hear you say that."

There was a small awkward pause between you where neither of you knew what to do or say. Rafa tried desperately not to look at your round tits right in front of him, so he directed his attention to the wine cooler behind you in an attempt to look occupied. It gave him an idea however: "Hey, did Diggs ever give you a tour of the house?" he asked you, eyes glued to a bottle of nice champagne in the cooler.

"Not yet," you smiled, "he promised me one later."

"Yeah, same," Rafa mumbled, opened the cooler, and pulled out the champagne bottle, "how about we show ourselves around?" he said and wriggled his eyebrows, "sprinkle it up with a little champagne, you know?" he winked at you.

"Now who could say no to that?" you laughed and watched Rafa pop the champagne and pour you a glass.

"Cheers," Rafa held out his glass and you gladly clinked it.

He emptied his entire glass in one fast gulp, "this is some fancy shit," he said quietly while examining the bottle.

"Should we even be drinking this?"

Rafa directed his attention towards you with a small laugh, "well it's open now isn't it? I'm sure Diggs won't mind. Bottoms up before we continue our tour. I'll get you a refill."

You smiled to yourself; Rafa's nonchalant and cavalier attitude was exactly what had attracted you to him in the first place. You did as he said, gulped down the golden liquid, and was soon standing with another full glass in hand. "Where to first?" you asked after you'd had a sip of the second glass.

"Upstairs?" Rafa asked with a shrug, grabbing both his glass and the bottle with his left hand. He put his right hand on the small of your back, and directed you towards the staircase. He noticed a small smile creep onto your lips at the skin-against-skin contact. You were both back to your usual flirting and his plan was in action. Shake, rattle, and roll.

He let you climb the stairs in front of him and it didn't take him long before he was completely hypnotised by the swaying ass in front of him. The nice curve. The way the red fabric clung nicely to your buttocks every time you took a step forwards. The tantalising sway. And he couldn't even touch you. It was pure torture, he told himself as he gulped down his second glass of champagne while following you up the stairs. He clearly needed it.

"Refill?" he asked you as you'd reached the top.

"So soon?" you arched an eyebrow at him but emptied your glass, ready for your third refill.

"I'm thirsty," Rafa smirked and could already feel his hangover disappear as it was replaced with him getting tipsy. "Rules of champagne-tours are that you need to empty your glass before you enter a room."

"Okay, you're clearly more updated on the rules than I am so I believe you," you laughed at him and took a look around the first floor, "left or right?" you asked.

"Let's try left," Rafa said and followed you to a small room, "Wait! Before you enter you need to empty your glass."

"Again? Are you trying to get me drunk?" you arched an eyebrow at him.

"Hey, I don't make the rules," he sent you an innocent look before he emptied his third glass.

You sent him a suspicious look but ended up following suit and emptied your glass before you let him refill it a fourth time. You could feel yourself getting more and more tipsy. And Rafa looked cuter and cuter.

"After you," he said and opened the door to the small room in front of you.

"Okay, this is an office or something of the sort," you laughed after you'd entered, "this is boring."

"Very boring," Rafa groaned as he took in the desk, the computer, and the three filing cabinets standing along one of the walls. "Let's move along shall we?" he whipped around and hit his head against a cabinet on the wall with a loud bang.

He heard you gasp behind him before he felt the sharp pain on his cheekbone followed by something wet running down the side of his face. He turned around, facing you, the blood running steadily down his cheek.

"Are you okay?" you said in a concerned voice before it turned to laughter.

"Hey, why are you laughing?" Rafa chuckled at the sight of you as he touched the warm blood running down his face

"I'm so sorry!" you continued laughing, "but you should see the look on your face right now. You look so wronged!"

"It was an assassination attempt!" he smiled, "did you bring me in here to neutralise me?" he emptied his fourth glass of champagne to soothe the sharp pain.

"Yes," you said all seriously, "I work for the Israeli government and I've been sent to America to take out whiney boys who steal champagne from their best friends. And as revenge, I let them bleed."

"Would a Mossad agent such as yourself happen know how to clean a wound?" He asked with a playful smile, "because I think I might need a small band-aid. This shit will not stop bleeding."

"Lucky for you, I'm specialised in treating wounded animals in Siberia. Come," you took his hand and pulled him towards a bathroom you'd noticed as you'd passed it in the hallway.

Rafa liked being tugged around by you: your small hand in his felt absolutely right. He wondered what it would feel like with your fingers wrapped around his erection and he felt his cock do a small twitch in his boxers at the mental image of you rubbing him off. ...Okay he really needed to pull himself together.

Desperate to think of something else he looked around the bathroom. "Indoor hot tub!" he exclaimed as you let go of his hand and went to the small cabinet under the sink.

"Only eighties kids get this excited over a hot tub inside," you laughed at his excited kid-like face and pulled out a band aid and some rubbing alcohol, "sit down on the edge so I can clean the wound."

"Yes ma'am," Rafa said and looked at you as you concentrated on reading the instructions on the bottle of rubbing alcohol. You looked damned cute with your nose all scrunched up.

You found a cotton pad in the cabinet as well and sat down next to him, "okay," you looked him in the eye, "this is gonna sting but try to sit still."

"Okay," he said quietly and waited with anticipation for your hands to touch his skin - even if it was a place as non-sexy as the skin below his eye where he had cut himself by being embarrassing. He took whatever he could get.

You carefully draped the cotton pad across the cut he had on his cheekbone and felt yourself blush as he closed his eyes and hissed involuntarily. You wanted to rip his clothes off.

He felt your small fingers ghost over his skin as you cleaned the wound. He tried to fight it, but couldn't hold back the visible shiver that went through his body.

"Aw, Casal, am I giving you goosebumps?" you laughed softly as you cleaned his cheek.

"Yeah," he smiled goofily at you and felt the champagne talk some courage into him, "it's either the cold from the rubbing alcohol or your bathing suit. Not sure which."

"My bathing suit?" you laughed at him.

Rafa chuckled softly, "yeah, it's a nice colour," he mumbled, "this red looks amazing on you."

"So you're saying that the colour of my bathing suit is sending shivers down your spine?"

"Yeah..." he said in an obvious lie.

"The colour... and not the cut?" you asked looking into his eyes, wriggling your chest in front of him. You had always loved the rare times where you could make Rafa - the always calm and collected womaniser - uncomfortable. This seemed like one of those times.

"Uh - the - uh - the bathing suit isn't too shabby either," Rafa chuckled slightly as he let his eyes run over your wriggling chest. You would definitely be the death of him.

"You like my bathing suit?" you said quietly as you too felt the champagne rush to your head.

This time, Rafa didn't answer you but just nodded and gulped visibly. He looked as if he was having a hard time keeping his hands to himself and it was turning you the fuck on. For years, you had wanted Rafa to actually do something about his relentless flirting. "I have to admit; I bought it with you in mind," you sent him a small shrug as if it was nothing.

His smile grew wide, "yeah? Did you dress up like this just for me?"

"I wanted you to notice me," you said with a small smile.

"Well it worked," he said quietly and ran his eyes over your chest.

"Good," you chuckled and turned your face away from his. In the past, he had had several chances to act and he hadn't. It was stupid of you to believe that he wanted more than just a bit of casual flirting - even if it did feel like years of flirting had been leading to this moment.

Glad to have something that could divert your attention away from the very fuckable guy in front of you, you picked up the band aid that was lying in your lap, took it out of its packaging and carefully put in over the cut on Rafa's cheek bone. Your eyes were glued to the cut for a couple of seconds, allowing Rafa to gaze into your eyes.

It's now or never, he thought to himself and reacted before he could hold himself back; he reached out his hand and put it just below your chin, leaned forwards and planted a brief, soft kiss on your lips. You had kissed before but this one somehow felt different. His kisses had always been short and sweet - he had practically perfected pulling away from you before losing all control - but today was extra hard. He couldn't believe himself... Ten years of holding himself back and a fucking bathing suit had him feeling like a teenager again. Calm the fuck down, Casal.

"Thanks for taking care of me," he hummed against your lips and retracted his face from yours.

You let out a small whimper at the lack of contact but came to your senses soon enough. "A pleasure," you smiled up at him and slightly cleared your throat, "we should continue our tour."

Rafa nodded and emptied the rest of the champagne bottle in each of your glasses. He quickly poured it down his throat. "House rules," he shrugged when you sent him a bemused smile.

You followed suit, bottomed up and put down your glass next to the kitchen sink. You gave Rafa's arm a slight tug and urged him to follow you to the next room on the tour.

Rafa gladly - and slightly dizzy - followed you out of the bathroom and into the next room on the tour; Diggs' bedroom apparently. It seemed almost scripted.

"Master bedroom," you exclaimed when you saw the king sized bed in the middle of the room. You looked over at Rafa who was swaying a little, "are you okay?" you laughed.

"I'm a bit dizzy," Rafa joined in laughing, "not sure if it's the assassination attempt or the amount of champagne I've had."

"Probably a little bit of both," you smiled and put a hand on his arm to help him steady a little, "do you need to lie down for a minute?"

"Yeah, I think I better," he let out a small laugh and threw himself down on the bed.

You quickly followed suit, and positioned yourself on the bed next to him, "is the room spinning or is it just me?" you laughed.

"Oh it's definitely spinning," Rafa chuckled and reached out to touch your hand, "ah, much better," he said as he recalled the feeling in his abdomen when you had kissed only minutes earlier. He wanted to kiss you again. He couldn't hold himself back.

"I agree," you said softly and looked over at him, "how's your boo-boo?" you let out a small laugh.

"Still stings," he shot you a small smile and remembered Diggs words. He had to snatch you up before someone else did. What he did now seemed to be crucial to how your interactions would be shaped in the future. So he decided to just go for it, "you know... my mom used to kiss the pain away."

"You want me to kiss it off you?" You laughed.

"It might help," he said and brushed his fingers against your skin as his hand moved further up your arm.

"Are you trying to seduce me?" you laughed.

"Yeah, maybe," Rafa said and felt how the champagne made him daring and truthful, "you've been driving me insane all summer."

"I have?" you chuckled, slightly surprised, "is that why you've stayed away from me?"

"Yeah, I've been having a hard time keeping my hands to myself..." he chuckled innocently.

You decided to act on how cute you'd always found Rafa, leaned closer to him and repeated the short and sweet kiss you'd shared in the bathroom a couple of minutes earlier.

When you retracted your lips from his, Rafa moved his head forwards and continued the soft kiss, this time with a bit more power to it.

This was definitely new, you thought to yourself as you moved your lips in time with Rafa's.

He popped himself up on one elbow and kissed you so sensually that you physically felt the wetness between your legs. So his tongue could do more than spit out silvered words? Rafa had game! His soft tongue was slowly caressing yours while he let his hand run over your upper body. You felt the goosebumps emerge on your skin as he ran his fingers over your ribcage.

Rafa broke the kiss and sent you a smirk, "look who's sending who shivers now," he snickered.

"Shut up," you groaned and leaned forwards, softly recapturing his lips.

He hummed against you as you slowly moved your lips across his. His thumbs were brushing against the sensitive skin just below your boobs, but he didn't touch you anywhere that wasn't considered safe. He wanted you to approve of it before he delved into you.

You understood his careful actions and wriggled around a bit to get him to touch you properly.

"Are you sure?" he whispered against your lips, "you've had quite a bit to drink and I've been trying to seduce you."

"Just be happy it worked," you smiled against him, "I've been wanting this too..."

Rafa's smile grew wide, "really?" he laughed

"Yes. Now shut up and kiss me."

He inched his lips closer to yours and captured them once more. His tongue caressed yours slowly and sensually while his hand squeezed your thigh tightly. A small moan escaped your lips when your fingers tugged on his long strands of hair.

Rafa pulled you on top of him so you were straddling his waist.

You let out a small smirk when you felt his erection underneath you, "you're already hard."

"I've been hard all summer," he groaned as his lips found your throat, "you've been driving me insane in all your little sundresses. You have no idea how hard it's been to hold myself back."

"You don't have to hold yourself back with me," you whispered and looked into his green eyes while you moved your hips suggestively on top of him.

"From now on, I have no intentions of doing so," he groaned at the friction, his hands moving to the straps of your bathing suit. Slowly, he pulled them over your arms, making sure to kiss your clavicles in the meantime. He pulled down the red bathing suit and revealed your small round tits topped with small perky nipples for him. Exactly as he had imagined. He took one of your nipples in his mouth, while showing the other love by cupping your breast lovingly. You let out a sharp moan when you felt his tongue circle your areola.

Rafa's erection grew considerably and when you danced your fingers down his chest, and he decided to do something about it. He threw you down on the bed next to him and forcefully ripped off the bottom half of your bathing suit, leaving you completely naked on the bed. He took a step back and admired your finally naked body before him, your wet pussy glistening in the sunlight. He palmed himself through his slacks and let out a groan at the sight of you writhing on the bed, looking up at him with lust in your eyes. Your small hand was running along the length of your glistening slit and he had never been more jealous of a couple of fingers.

"Take of your clothes," you panted as you spread your legs apart.

Rafa quickly shuffled out of his shirt and slacks but kept his boxers on.

"Last chance to back out," he said as he leaned over you and trailed his hand down your body. You let out a small moan as his lips found yours, his fingers hovering above your waistline. "If you keep making those sounds I'm not going to be able to stop myself," he groaned in between kisses.

"Who says I want you to stop?" You let out yet another moan as his tongue found yours again.

"Good," he smirked against you. His fingers found your heated centre and you let out a raspy breath when his fingers dipped inside your sensitive folds. "Fuck you're so wet for me," he growled as he easily found your tight opening and pushed a couple of fingers inside you. You were moaning excessively and pushing yourself against his playful fingers as the was toying with you.

"Fuck, you look so good with my fingers inside you," he growled, "tell me how much you've wanted this!"

"So bad," you panted and looked up into his darkened eyes, "I've been wanting you to fuck me for years."

"Yeah?" He felt himself getting even more excited and he moved his fingers faster in an out if you, "have you been thinking about me when you're alone at night?"

"Yes," you whispered.

"Tell me about what you've been fantasising about."

You pushed his fingers out of you and sat up straight on the bed, sending him a lustful look. "I've been thinking about your big, heavy cock," you said as you pulled off his boxers, revealing his erection to you. You took him in your hand and ran your tongue over his wet head. Rafa shot back his head with a small groan, but kept the eye contact.

"What else?" He panted as he watched you pop his head in your mouth.

"This," you said, "my lips around you. Your fingers inside me."

"How can I deny you that?" He stroked your cheek, "lie down."

You did as he told and watched Rafa climb onto the bed on his knees. He positioned himself close to your face and ran his hand down your abdomen, his fingers easily finding their way to your pussy. You reached up and grabbed him by the root, positioning yourself so you could wrap your lips around him while his fingers worked their way inside you.

You bopped your mouth up and down his length a few times, releasing his head with a small pop before starting over.

"Oh fuck," he groaned as he bucked his hips closer to your face, "fuck you look amazing."

You let your tongue swirl around him while your hand pumped up and down him a few times. He shot back his head with a groan, "fuck I'm not going to last long," he panted.

You pulled your face away from him and said, "are you going to cum down my throat?" Before your lips resumed their positions around him.

"Yes," he panted, "are you going to take it all for me?"

You nodded and pulled him down your throat.

"Oh fuck," he panted and pushed his hair out of his eyes, "fuck you're working me like a pro."

You tightened your lips' grip around him and swirled your tongue around his head that had started leaking down your throat.

"Oh shit," he groaned and caressed the side of your face, "fuck you look so sexy with your lips around my cock. Fuck I'm so close!"

You pulled him as far down your throat as you could and reached up to cup his balls.

Rafa's breathing was hushed and shallow and he had his eyes closed. His fingers were still fidgeting with your clit but his movements were sporadic and lazy as he couldn't concentrate on much else apart from the tight wetness around him. With your tongue swirling around his head, your left hand cupping his balls, and your right hand working its way up and down his shaft, he gave out three loud grunts before he started shaking above you, warm cum shooting down your throat. He grunted a few times with his eyes closed before he came to his senses, pulled his fingers out of you and licked them only to have them resume their positions on your core.

"Oh god," you moaned as his fingers curled inside you, "oh fuck Rafa."

"Turn around for me," he whispered.

Quickly, you turned around and were sitting on all four in front of him.

"Ass up," he said and gave you a hard spank before he ran his hand over you.

With a pant, you buried your face in the mattress, "are you going to fuck me now?"

"I can't do that now," he groaned and positioned his face behind you, "it's your fault. You and your amazing lips," he said and caressed your ass with his hands for a couple of seconds, "say my name," he groaned as ran his tongue over you.

"Rafa!" You moaned when you felt his tongue.

"No. My name," he gave out a muffled demand.

"Rafael," you panted and he pushed his fingers inside you as a reward.

"Yeah, that's right," he said darkly and felt you tighten around his fingers, "fuck you're driving me insane. You're so good for me. Have you been wanting this for a long time?"

"Uh-huh," you panted in response.

"Show me," he panted before he started moving his tongue and fingers faster against you.

"Oh fuck! Rafa! Rafael!" You moaned loudly as you felt all your nerve-endings tightening between your legs. Rafa's tongue was moving sloppily over you as you cried out with your release, the grip around his fingers pulsating and tightening significantly.

Rafa was enjoying the sight before him - although a little disappointed that your tight gripping was wasted on something as boring as his fingers.

When you had panted and moaned out his name, he pulled his fingers out of you and let you plump down on the mattress.

You were still panting when you looked up at him with a huge grin, "why have we never done this before?"

"Because we're very stupid," Rafa chuckled and plumped down next to you, "that was amazing!"

"Yeah, definitely."

"Next time, I'm not letting you corrupt me to cum down your throat," he groaned and gave your breasts a kiss, "next time, I'm going to fuck you so hard."

"We're gonna do it again?" You arched a bemused eyebrow at him.

"Of course. Call me selfish but I don't ever want anyone else to touch you."

[ohshutupjimin]

Jimin’s biggest fan

It’s Saturday, June 13th, 2021. You’re cleaning out your closet when you come across a shoebox that appears years old. You walk out of the closet, box in hand. You sit on your bed and open the box. The smell of sweet cologne fills box. The smell is so familiar. You pick up a neatly folded ‘Ramones’ shirt and hold it up to your face. Your eyes are closed as you smell the shirt. Memories fill your head. Images of you and Jimin flood through. The summer of 2015, you two met at his band’s signing in your town. He looked into your eyes with depth, more depth than you’ve ever seen him have before. He had asked you to stay until the end when he asked you out. You two spent every minute together. When he went on tour, you were invited along. When you couldn’t be together, your love grew stronger from the separation. He knew everything about you and you knew everything about him. Summer nights that you guys had together you would spend outside on a blanket staring at the stars. Rainy days he would force you outside to have kisses in the rain. Days out in the public, you guys would break the rules and cause trouble. Magazines would have pictures of you two all the time. While at concerts, you would fangirl just like anybody else. You were Jimin’s biggest fan, but what you didn’t know was that Jimin was your biggest fan. He loved you more than you could ever imagine.

One summer, you got an offer to study abroad. This was your biggest dream and it finally came true. When you told Jimin, he almost broke down. You told him that it wouldn’t change anything, it just meant that you wouldn’t see him very often during the summer. You told him not to worry. He realized he had to let you do what you wanted and let you go.

During the summer abroad you had a week off and decided to surprise Jimin by going to vist him. So after dropping your stuff at your friend’s house, you made your way to Jimin’s. You walked up the walkway and got to the door. Through the walls you could hear a girl giggling. Suddenly, you felt a gaint weight drop in your stomach. Your heart pounded a little faster as you raised your fist to the door. The girl was giggling a little louder. You knocked. “Jimin, someone’s at the door. I’m getting it!” The girl yelled.

“No, I’ll get it.” Jimin yelled back.

“Too late, I’m already here.” The girl yelled back as she opened the door. A gorgeous girl stood there in front of you, with a button- up shirt, of Jimin’s, on. “May I help you?” The girl said with such attitude. You just stare as you try to hold tears back. “You have permission to speak. Unless you’re a fan that wants to see Jimin. If that’s the case, you’ll need to leave.” She glared.

“Uh-I-I-um.” You stutter.

“Who’s there?” You hear Jimin from behind. Jimin walks to the door with just his boxers on. When he sees you, a look of guilt appears on his face. “Y/N. Wha-what are you doing here?” Jimin says. The tears you were keeping back poured out. You turned around and ran. You blocked out everything and just ran. You hear your name being yelled, but you ignore it. A strong hand grabs your arm.

“Let me go, Jimin. Just let me go. Let me go like you’ve done already.” You scream. Jimin’s face is full of sadness.

“Please let me explain-” Jimin begins.

“I don’t want to hear this. I don’t want to hear how you were lonely or how it doesn’t mean anything. I don’t want to hear a stupid apology. Nothing you do will ever make me forgive you, Jimin. Nothing.” You cry. Jimin begins to tear up. He tries to take your hand. “Don’t touch me. Just don’t. Please, Jimin.” You say.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Jimin says. When he said this, more tears flowed from your eyes. Jimin wipes them away and you let him just because you can’t resist his touch. He pulls your face to his and gives you a long kiss. When you pull away, you look at him.

“I’m sorry, Jimin. I can’t.” You say as a tear falls down your cheek. You walk away.

That was the last time you saw him. Half-naked with another girl.

The box laying on your bed was filled with apology letters. He sent one every week for two years. After realizing that he wasn’t getting you back or your forgiveness, he gave up. You begin to tear up as you pull out a newspaper article from summer 2018. The headline read, “Kpop idol, Park Jimin Dies in Fatal Car Accident.” As you read the article, the tears fall down your cheek. You can’t read any futher. You throw the box off the bed and sit in the corner and cry. All you can think about is how in love you two were, how inseparable you two used to be. He was going to propose and you guys had your whole future planned out. You blamed his mistakes on yourself. The years that had gone by, you loved Jimin even more. You were and always will be his biggest fan.

[swanlake1998]

Article: Five Pioneering Black Ballerinas: ‘We Have to Have a Voice’

Date: June 17, 2021

By: Karen Valby

These early Dance Theater of Harlem stars met weekly on Zoom — to survive the isolation of the pandemic and to reclaim their role in dance history.

Last May, adrift in a suddenly untethered world, five former ballerinas came together to form the 152nd Street Black Ballet Legacy. Every Tuesday afternoon, they logged onto Zoom from around the country to remember their time together performing with Dance Theater of Harlem, feeling that magical turn in early audiences from skepticism to awe.

Life as a pioneer, life in a pandemic: They have been friends for over half a century, and have held each other up through far harder times than this last disorienting year. When people reached for all manners of comfort, something to give purpose or a shape to the days, these five women turned to their shared past.

In their cozy, rambling weekly Zoom meetings, punctuated by peals of laughter and occasional tears, they revisited the fabulousness of their former lives. With the background of George Floyd’s murder and a pandemic disproportionately affecting the Black community, the women set their sights on tackling another injustice. They wanted to reinscribe the struggles and feats of those early years at Dance Theater of Harlem into a cultural narrative that seems so often to cast Black excellence aside.

“There’s been so much of African American history that’s been denied or pushed to the back,” said Karlya Shelton-Benjamin, 64, who first brought the idea of a legacy council to the other women. “We have to have a voice.”

They knew as young ballet students that they’d never be chosen for roles like Clara in “The Nutcracker” or Odette/Odile in “Swan Lake.” They were told by their teachers to switch to modern dance or to aim for the Alvin Ailey company if they wanted to dance professionally, regardless of whether they felt most alive en pointe.

Arthur Mitchell was like a lighthouse to the women. Mitchell, the first Black principal dancer at the New York City Ballet and a protégé of the choreographer George Balanchine, had a mission: to create a home for Black dancers to achieve heights of excellence unencumbered by ignorance or tradition. Ignited by the assassination of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., he founded Dance Theater of Harlem in 1969 with Karel Shook.

Lydia Abarca-Mitchell, Gayle McKinney-Griffith and Sheila Rohan were founding dancers of his new company with McKinney-Griffith, 71, soon taking on the role of its first ballet mistress. Within the decade, Shelton-Benjamin and Marcia Sells joined as first generation dancers.

Abarca-Mitchell, 70, spent her childhood in joyless ballet classes but never saw an actual performance until she was 17 at the invitation of Mitchell, her new teacher. “I’ll never forget what Arthur did onstage” she said of his Puck in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” at New York City Ballet during a Tuesday session in January. “He made the ballet so natural. Suddenly it wasn’t just this ethereal thing anymore. I felt it in my bones.”

Marcia Sells, 61, remembered being 9 and watching with mouth agape when Abarca-Mitchell, McKinney-Griffith and Rohan performed with Dance Theater in her hometown, Cincinnati. “There in front of me were Black ballerinas,” Sells said during a video call in April. “That moment was the difference in my life. Otherwise I don’t think it would’ve been possible for me to think of a career in ballet.”

Shelton-Benjamin left her Denver ballet company, where she was the only Black dancer, turning down invitations from the Joffrey Ballet and American Ballet Theater, after reading a story about Dance Theater of Harlem in Dance magazine. Abarca-Mitchell was on that issue’s cover — the first Black woman to have that honor. At her Harlem audition, Shelton-Benjamin witnessed company members hand-dying their shoes and ribbons and tights to match the hues of their skin. Here, no traditional ballet pink would interrupt the beauty of their lines. “I had never seen a Black ballerina before, let alone a whole company,” Shelton-Benjamin, 64, said during a February Zoom meeting. “All I could think was, ‘Where have you guys been?’”

Finding one another back then, at the height of the civil rights movement, allowed them to have careers while challenging a ballet culture that had been claimed by white people. “We were suddenly ambassadors,” Abarca-Mitchell said. “And we were all in it together.”

They traveled to American cities that presented such a hostile environment that Mitchell would cancel the performance the night of, lest his company feel disrespected. But they also danced for kings and queens and presidents. In 1979, a review in The Washington Post declared their dancing to be a “purer realization of the Balanchinean ideal than anyone else’s.” Their adventures offstage were similarly electric, like the night in Manchester when Mick Jagger invited them out on the town. “We walked into the club with him and everybody just moved out of the way,” Shelton-Benjamin said.

Cultural memory can be spurious and shortsighted. Abarca-Mitchell was the first Black prima ballerina for a major company, performing works like Balanchine’s “Agon” and “Bugaku” and William Dollar’s “Le Combat” to raves. In an April Zoom session she said she first realized how left out of history she was when her daughter went online to prove to a friend that her mother was the first Black prima ballerina. But all she found was the name Misty Copeland, hailed as the first. “And my daughter was so mad. She said: ‘Where’s your name? Where’s your name?’ It was a wake-up call.”

While Abarca-Mitchell paused to wipe her eyes, Shelton-Banjamin stepped in: “I want to echo what Lydia said. There was a point where I asked the women, ‘Did it all really happen? Was I really a principal dancer?’ And Lydia told me: ‘Don’t do that! Yes, you were. We’re here to tell you, you were.”

Sells went on to a career that included serving as the dean of Harvard Law School, until she left this year to become the Metropolitan Opera’s first chief diversity officer. Shelton-Benjamin is now a jeweler who recently became certified in diamond grading. She, along with Abarca-Mitchell, McKinney-Griffith and Rohan, continue to coach and teach dance. They all have families, including another grandchild on the way for McKinney-Griffith, who announced the happy news to whoops on a recent call.

But they are done swallowing a mythology of firstness that excludes them, along with fellow pioneers like Katherine Dunham, Debra Austin, Raven Wilkinson, Lauren Anderson and Aesha Ash. It’s true that Misty Copeland is American Ballet Theater’s first Black female principal. It is also true that she stands on the shoulders of the founding and first generation dancers at Dance Theater. A narrative that suggests otherwise, Sells said, “Simply makes ballet history weak and small.”

Worse, it perpetuates the belief that Blackness in ballet is a one-off rather than a continuing fact. And it suggests a lonely existence for dancers like Copeland, a world absent of peers. “We could’ve been Misty’s aunties,” Abarca-Mitchell said. “I wish she was part of our sisterhood, that’s all.”

Dance Theater saved them from being the only one in a room. The work was so hard, the expectations so high, the mission so urgent, that those early days demanded a familial support system among the dancers. “Someone would take you under their wing and say, ‘You’re my daughter or sister or brother,’” McKinney-Griffith said. “The men did it also. Karlya was my little sister, and we kept that through the years.”

Like in any family, the relationships are complicated. The women speak of feeling shut out of today’s Dance Theater of Harlem. They are rarely brought in for workshops or consultations on the ballets they were taught by Mitchell. At his memorial service in 2018, they wept in the pews unacknowledged. “We’re like orphans,” Rohan said with a laugh in a Zoom session. “If the outside world neglects us, it seems all the more reason that Dance Theater of Harlem should embrace us.”

Virginia Johnson, a fellow founding member, is now the company’s artistic director. She assumed the helm in 2013 when Dance Theater returned after an eight-year hiatus caused by financial instability. “It makes me sad to think that they feel excluded,” Johnson said in a phone interview. “And it’s not because I don’t want them. It’s just because I can’t manage. I’ve probably missed some chances but it’s not like I haven’t thought about the value of what they bring to the company. They are the bodies, the soul, the spirit of Dance Theater of Harlem.”

“We all think about and love and respect what Arthur Mitchell did,” she added, “but these are the people he worked with to make this company.”

By the end of May, the five members of the 152nd Street Black Ballet Legacy were fully vaccinated. They traveled from Denver, Atlanta, Connecticut, South Jersey and, in Sells’s case, five blocks north of Dance Theater of Harlem for a joyful reunion. So much is different now at the building on 152nd Street. The old fire escape in Studio 3 where they’d catch their breath or wipe tears of frustration is gone. So are the big industrial fans in the corners of the room, replaced by central air conditioning. But they can still feel their leader all around them in the room. Crying, Abarca-Mitchell told McKinney-Griffith, “I miss Arthur.” (Though they all laugh when imagining his response to their legacy council. “I do believe he would try to control us,” Rohan said. “’What are you doing now? Why are you doing that? Let me suggest that. …’”)

The body remembers. In Studio 3, all Shelton-Benjamin had to do was hum a few notes of Balanchine’s “Serenade” and say “and” for the women to grandly sweep their right arms up. “These women help validate my worth,” Abarca-Mitchell said afterward. “I don’t want to take it for granted that people should recognize Lydia Abarca. But when I’m with them I feel like I felt back then. Important.”

Even as the world reopens and they grow busy again, they’ll carry on with their Tuesday afternoons. They want to amplify more alumni voices. They dream of launching a scholarship program for young dancers of color. This fall, they’ll host a webinar in honor of the director and choreographer Billy Wilson, whose daughter Alexis was also part of Dance Theater.

“What we have is a spiritual connection,” said Rohan, who turns 80 this year. She was 27 when she joined the company, already married and hiding from Mitchell that she was a mother of three young children for fear it get her kicked out. When she eventually confessed a year later, he got mad, insisting he would have increased her salary if he’d known she had mouths to feed.

“Arthur planted a seed in me, and all these beautiful women helped it grow,” she said. “Coming from Staten Island, I was just a country girl from the projects. My first time on a plane was to go to Europe to dance on those stages. I thanked God every day for the experience. This year, coming together again, I remembered how much it all meant to me. I didn’t have to be a star ballerina. It was enough that I was there. I was there. I was there.”

[hifilounge]

Goodwood Festival of Speed 2022, The Best Few Days Of My Life!

Goodwood Festival of Speed 2022, The Best Few Days Of My Life!

Hi All,

It’s 6.30 am Monday 27th June 2022 and I am at work the day after the best few days of my life, I really should be looking at the 400+ e-mails I have just come back to but I just want to briefly write down how I am feeling after this years Goodwood Festival of Speed whilst it is still fresh in my mind, there have been so many amazing memories made over the last 4 days that it is hard to know where to start but here we go, have to say that I have mixed feelings at the moment, even getting a bit emotional as I’m still buzzing from what just happened but am really sad that it is now over, it is going to be a huge come down, I’m such grateful that I have the best day job also to help me get back into the daily groove.

So I went to the very first FOS in 1993, 29 years ago, where it was more like a garden party compared to now and I have been to nearly every one since when I can but this year was very different, after a few months of planning and negotiations we got invited to actually drive up the hill twice a day for 3 days in front of 10’000’s of people and the best part of it all is the car we would be doing it in.

I am a big Nascar fan, started watching that in the early 1990’s, for me it is the best motorsport on the planet and can be misunderstood in this country but there is no purer form of racing in my view, the skill involved in oval racing is incredible, it is like chess at 200mph as the various strategies play out and the skill to race in a pack on 40+ cars at 200mph cm’s apart is incredible. My Nascar hero was and still is Jeff Gordon, a real legend of the sport, he famously raced No 24 for 22 years, winning the championship 4 times and 93 races from 805 start, it is the reason why I race no24 myself. So to cut to the chase, I was actually going to drive a 2012 Jeff Gordon Nascar up the hill, it is around 900hp and I had only driven it for 10 minutes or so a week before in a quick shakedown at Millbrook Proving Ground, so no pressure then, but never one to turn down an opportunity I just had to go for it, I mean what could possible go wrong.

Firstly, I have to thank the UK Nascar Community, these guys are awesome, I’d met a couple beforehand at Carfest last year but at Goodwood I met many more of the gang and what a really lovely bunch of guys, within 10 minutes I felt I had known them for years, so knowledgeable and passionate about the sport but more importantly to me just really fantastic people, without these guys it would be impossible for me to drive a Nascar over here but with their support I knew I was in safe hands, when I left Goodwood last night I really felt like I had made some amazing new friends for life, so thanks again guys, thank you so much for the weekend and helping give me a truly off the scale weekend.

Goodwood FOS Thurs – Sun.

                                        So here we go then, let’s run through the weekend, it is all a bit of a blur really of early starts, late finishes, very little sleep, a lot of coffee and thank god for adrenaline. I agreed to run the 24 a couple of months before but once I pulled into the car park on the Thursday it all became a bit real, this was really happening, I agreed to meet the guys in the car park where we sorted out all the passes and tickets then headed into Goodwood where the 24 was sitting in the paddock looking stunning, I want to thank Shaun at Road to Race for his support also in getting the car to Goodwood and collecting it after the event, so Thursday was a day of checking the car over, a few systems checks, getting signed on and collecting our access all areas passes and we even got a really cool medal to which would gain us access to the Driver Club where we were fed and watered for 4 days and then we had a wander around waiting for the big day on Friday.

Here we go, the first run!

Did I sleep Thursday night? Very little if I am honest, I really don’t get nervous but this was like nothing I had done before, it would have been nerve racking enough in a normal car but in a 900hp Nascar Monster it is enough to give anyone nerves, especially as it is a big car and the 2nd part of the run up the hill is very narrow, to make things worse as I sat in the holding area 10 minutes before Dario Franchitti, 3 time Indy 500 winner, said ‘Be careful, I’ve crashed loads of these, they are a handful’ thanks Dario.

From the collecting area you drive back down the track to the Start line, here you line up and wait to be called forward where you are told to wait, you watch this one man and once the car in front is far enough up the road ahead he waves you to go, I sat there waiting and all I could think was not to stall it which is really easy in a Nascar as the clutch is like a switch, on or off, but then I was told to go so I gave it loads of revs and we were off with a little wheel spin, the last thing you want at Goodwood is to be the person who gets it wrong so I drove it more like Miss Daisy than anything and although I had practised it a lot on my sim there is nothing like going up the iconic hill for yourself, the funny thing was though that although the hill was lined with 1000’s of people I never saw one of them as I was so focused on not getting it wrong that I may as well have been the only person there, it was all very surreal, so we poodled up, around the flint wall that everyone made me were of and I have never been so happy to see a finish line before but that was run one complete, I’d just done something that very few people had done before, driven a Nascar up the hill at the Goodwood Festival of Speed, the sense of relief was amazing but I was absolutely buzzing.

What is it like to drive a Nascar? It is basically like sitting in the middle of a volcano, it is a very brutal environment, incredible noise and power, you can feel the cars anger as you sit in it as it shakes and rumbles side to side, it seems to want to spin its wheels at every opportunity and it really wouldn’t take much for it to bite you but show it some respect and it is an exhilarating experience, it could be further away from my other cars I race which are generally lightweight but low power, but once you have tasted a thoroughbred top tier race car like this it is very addictive and as the runs ticked by I found myself just wanting to get back in asap for another go.

We had 6 runs through the weekend but that was my run done for the Friday as I had been introduced to YouTuber PetrolPed, again a really nice guy, and we were going to split the runs, 4 for me, 2 for him, so that he could do a film for his Channel about the experience of running a Nascar up the hill, really can’t wait to see this.

Next it was Saturday, this was going to be a full on day, as I had 2 runs then it was the Driver Ball at Goodwood House, the 2 runs went really well again, each time I was getting more confident with the 24 as I pushed it a little bit harder each time, that could be dangerous but I really wanted to get a feel what she could do. Our last run finished around 6.30pm and the ball started at 7pm, luckily the drivers had showers so it was chaos as everyone tried to get ready, have to say it is very surreal seeing loads of your hero’s in the their undies getting dressed ready for a night out.

                                                                                                                                                                                              The Goodwood Drivers Ball.

Just when you think things can’t get any better Wendy and myself found ourselves at the Driver Ball, I was looking forward to this just a much as the driving to be honest. So we arrived at Goodwood house around 7pm, where all the Bentley’s and Supercars are pulling up with all the rich and famous, then walk in for a champagne reception in the Goodwood Gardens, again surreal surrounded by loads of your motorsport hero’s, now I feel that you really shouldn’t approach these drivers in this sort of environment, just didn’t seem the right thing to do but another of my real heroes is Mika Hakkinen, I used to follow him all round Europe attending Grand Prix to cheer him on so when I saw him I just had to go and say hello and get a picture with him, he was as lovely as he seems to happily stood there to have picture taken, what a great start to the evening.

After the reception we are asked to take our table, we were sitting with 6 others, mainly from a Biking motorsport side of things but had some great chats, food was served which was incredible, basically smoked Salmon to start with, Beef for main and what was probably the best chocolate desert I had ever had to finish things off, all washed down with as much red and white wine as we wanted, as I was driving the next morning early I actually drunk more water than anything, what a shame.

Next we were asked to go outside for the entertainment to start and what a show that was, fireworks like I’d never seen before, amazing singers, pyrotechnics, drone planes firing rockets, a jet man landing on the stage followed by more singing and fireworks, all you could do was watch in awe at the spectacle, I’d certainly never seen anything like this before and what blew my mind was that all this was for just around 1500 of us, Lord March really knows how to throw a party.

After this was finished we were then asked to go back inside to the concert area for the live band, this is kept very secret and there have been many big bands over the years apparently, I knew that Lord March loves his rock music, as do I, so was looking forward to this, who could it be?

Well it certainly didn’t disappoint as it turned out to be one of my favourite bands who I have been to see many times before over the years, The Darkness, and what a show they put on, pure rock’n’roll, Justin the lead singer was really on it, again it was like I had been imported into some alternative motorsport universe as I’m down the front row enjoying The Darkness then I turn round and Mr LeMans, 9 times winner Tom Kristensen is jumping up and down behind me standing next to Lord March who was really loving it, I look a couple of people over and there is Jenson Button rocking out along with his Radford partner Ant Anstead, in the end everywhere you looked there were famous drivers and boy do they know how to enjoy themselves, I guess if you are willing to risk your life racing cars at crazy speeds then you really are going to enjoy life at every opportunity.

The Darkness finished around midnight then a DJ set started to finish things off, it was such an amazing night but I was keen to get to bed as I was going back up the hill in the 24 around 9am, so 3 hours sleep later I was back in the paddock and getting ready for my final run, who knew having so much fun would be this exhausting, although I am sure I won’t get any sympathy.

                                                                                                                                                                                        The Final Run!

Here we go then, my 4th and final run up the hill in Jeff Gordon’s 2012 Nascar, so I lined up behind world rally champion Stig Blomqvist, unbelievable I know, the Stig fired off up the hill and I was ushered forward, when I got to the line for the first time I looked up and as I did that I saw hundreds of people hold their phones up to film me pulling away, really wish I hadn’t done that as straight away the nerves set in, all I could think was don’t stall it now, I was given the go signal and I gave it loads of revs and we were off, I was determined to make this run my fastest attempt but at the 2nd corner I tried a bit too hard, touched the grass and got a little loose, at that point I decided to not be a hero and just get to the finish line which I did and that was that, I had completed my 4 runs up the hill with the car still in one piece, result. Next PetrolPed had one more run at the end of the day which he did successfully and that was that, the 4 best days of my life complete, huge smiles all round.

I’ve been racing for 5 years now and this was the first time I actually felt like a Race Car Driver, to be in the inner circle at Goodwood is like nothing else I have experienced and being in the drivers club, this is basically where all the drivers hang out away from the crowds, when in your race overall then all the drivers are happy to talk to you, I’ve just jotted down some of the people I spoke to below, talk about a Who’s Who of motorsport. 

Jacky Ickx

Stig Blomqvist

Dario Franchitti

Nigel Mansell

Mika Hakkinen

Damon Hill

John Watson

Karl Wendlinger

Tom Kristensen

Jenson Button

Travis Pastrana

Jackie Stewart

I even got asked twice for my autograph, I explained that I was no one but as I had driven Jeff Gordon’s car they still wanted me to sign pictures of Jeff, hilarious really but great fun.

So to coin a phrase, ‘if Carling did dream weekends’ then I have just lived mine, I really couldn’t have had more fun if I tried, I’m hopeful I’ll get invited back one day to do it all again but if not I’ll be fine with that as I now have the memories of a truly incredible weekend.

Finally I’d like to thank everyone at Goodwood for the invite and the hospitality, it really is an incredible event like nothing else in the world and to be a very small part of it has been such an honour and privilege so thanks again Goodwood and the UK Nascar Community for making this Petrolheads dreams come true, a weekend I will cherish forever and will never forget.

Regards,

Paul.

Please find some random pictures below –

Damon Hill

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Birthday Cake {One Shot}***

Chris Evans X Reader

Warning: Cursing, SMUTTTT, NSFW, Birthday Shenanigans, SMUUUUUUT

Words: 5.4k

Summary: It’s Chris’s birthday. Summary done.

Note: Don’t read this at work, around family, in a crowd/group, or around anyone you don’t want knowing you NASTY. Happy Birthday Chris!

***NOT Edited/Proofread AT ALL***

***Interactive***

🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂

“We all wish you nothing but happiness, success and joy my sweet boy,” Lisa shouted as she held her champagne glass into the air along with the other thirty bodies that were invited to this yacht party that was put together in Chris’s honor.

 “We are all so proud of the man you’ve become, and we know the man you will be next year will be one we’re even more proud of,” Carly added.

 “We love you Chris,” Shanna voiced with a wide smile on her face.

 Everyone went around the long table giving their warmest and most sincere birthday wishes. As they spoke you could see how much he was loved. Not only had these people made it to Boston for this but they’d given up their entire day to sail around the harbor to spend the day with him. every wish that was said you looked back at Chris’s face to see he looked genuinely happy and closer and closer to the brink of tears.

 “Chris, I couldn’t have asked for a better big brother. I can count on you through everything, thank you. you’re one of the best men I know and I’m grateful to know you. Happy Birthday man, and just so we’re clear, this is thirty-nine. One more to go,” Scott said. Everyone busted out laughing, everyone but Chris. He just nodded while trying to hold back his amusement.

 Because of where you sat around the table you were the last to give your wish. All eyes fell to you including Chris’s.

 “Chris, I’m not going to point out how old you are like some people because honestly you don’t look a day over twenty-one. I’m not going to tease you mercilessly as there other thirty plus people have. I’m only going to blow your head up and inflate that actor’s ego. The one thing that everyone got right is that you are an incredible man. Your kindness to everyone you meet and your compassion for every living thing is what makes your heart a truly golden one. We would all bury a body for you any day of the week and we’re all relieved you haven’t cashed in on it. we wish you nothing but happiness because it is the least of what you deserve. Happy birthday, just know chicks dig a little grey.”

 Again, everyone laughed around you. They were so distracted with laughing that they didn’t see Chris quickly swipe at his cheek no doubt wiping away a stray tear. You caught it though. As your eyes met he nodded and mouthed his thanks.

Everyone mingled around the chartered yacht and enjoyed their mimosas, champagne, and lush food options. As Chris made his rounds around thanking his guests you found a spot to lounge in the warm sun. You couldn’t imagine this was how he imagined ringing in thirty-nine. This was a perfect outing for you and your friends. all that was missing was mani, pedis and some strippers. You made a mental note to bring it up to your friends later to plant the seed for your birthday. You knew this was just the beginning and what was in store for him once the sun went down.

 “There you are.”

 Chris’s smile was wide as he sat at the end of the lounge chair. “If it isn’t the birthday boy. Are you enjoying yourself?”

 “Yeah. This is really nice. Relaxing,” Chris answered. You snorted and finished your glass of champagne.

 “Not what you expected?”

 “No, this is fine. I’m old, Y/N. I’m okay with relaxation.” You smiled.

 “You’re not old Chris. There are men in their fifties still having the times of their lives.”

 He sighed and looked out to the water. “Eh, I’m different. I’m not interested in the same things as I once was. I used to crave the next party, the next thrill, the next woman, but now--.”

 “What? You don’t like women anymore?”

 He laughed and shook his head. “No, just—not the same women I did.”

 “We call that growth Christopher. If year after year you were the same man I’d be worried. I’m glad you’re changing. Just know I loved the man you were just as much as I love the man you are now.”

 Chris stared at you, but he didn’t speak. You didn’t know what he was looking for or thinking but he looked as if he were looking right through you. “Thanks for coming out for this,” he said just a little above a whisper.

 “Shut up, where else was I supposed to be on the thirteenth of June?” You rolled your eyes in an exaggerated fashion that made Chris laugh.

 The rest of the afternoon was mellow and uneventful. The laughs kept coming as did the champagne but there was no drama. It was actually a really nice boat around the Cod. When everyone made it back to land and said their goodbyes it was close to six. You made it home to get your primping on, so you’d make it to dinner on time. You were usually always late; it was unfortunately something Chis and the others teased you about often.

 You couldn’t decide what to wear and that was where the bulk of your time was spent. You went between a blue dress and a white pantsuit. They both were cute and they both made different parts of your body pop. The only reason why you chose the blue dress was because you had the perfect shoes that you’d been dying to wear. Once you were happy with your look for the night you hurried out cursing at the fact that you were going to be late.

 “Why is she always late?” You could hear everyone’s snicker as you hurried inside.

 “I’m late, I know, I’m sorry.”

 “It’s okay, you’re not that late, Chris said as he stood to kiss your cheek. You went around the table and greeted everyone before you sat beside the open seat besides Chris.

 “What did I miss?”

 Everyone talked over each other to fill you in on what you’d missed. From what you heard it was a lot of gossip and jokes that you didn’t really care about. Nodding you tried to follow along and keep up with everything they said. When the waiter arrived each of you listed off your orders and broke off into small conversations.

 “Always late,” Chris began with a shake of his head. “Some things never change. How long’s it been?”

 “Jeez who counts that high? Plus, stop trying to reveal my age.”

Chris snorted and nodded. “Either way, you look beautiful.” Your eyes locked and lingered before a loud commotion had both of you looking away. Chris was gorgeous everyone knew that but that wasn’t what your friendship was. You’d be there for him in any way he needed, the same way he’d been there for you and would always be there for you. Thanks to a hearty meal and an abundance of wine you were feeling extra good and so ready to have a good time.

“Surprise!”

 Chris snorted and shook his head. You could tell he had no idea that this was planned.

 “Wow, you guys got me.”

 “Of course, we did old man. You probably wanted to go home and watch ESPN for the rest of the night,” Valarie teased. He rolled his eyes in the obnoxious way he always did.

 You smiled and looked around the club. It looked like the perfect bachelor’s birthday party down to the half-naked dancers locked in cages and the girls laying on tables offering body shots. You knew this was a jab at Chris’ playboy days and you wondered who would rope him into doing a body shot.

 The music kicked back on and everyone went nuts. Bodies collided and rubbed against each other in the way that inebriated bodies did when they had no worries and plenty of alcohol. You danced with your friends in a circle getting in right mind frame to have a good time. It wasn’t your birthday, but you were going to party like it was.

 After am hour you had yet to find a seat and had lost track of how many people you’d danced with. Chris was right there with you. you refused to let him sit and act like an old man, you wanted to make sure he had a good time. Valarie and Scott plied him with liquor, and you kept his legs moving. It was the perfect tag team.

 “Shots, shots, shots, shots!”

 The chant got louder and louder until one of Chris’s boys began leading him to one of the girls on the table who had a very eager smile on her face. she was ready. Chris tried to back out, but no one would let him. Scott was the one to pour the drink out and get it ready for him. when Chris approached the girl, he leaned in and said something that no one else heard. She looked enamored when he did.

 “He asked for my consent,” she wailed. Everyone cheered around him. you could tell he was feeling really embarrassed about it.

 “Everyone loves a man who’s all about consent!” Your shout came over everyone else’s. Chris nodded his head to you silently thanking you for having his back. When he knew he couldn’t stall any longer he bent and licked the girl’s thigh and took the shot glass out of her cleavage. You knew this was not exactly a traditional body shot but you also knew the chances of getting Chris to suck alcohol out of someone’s belly button he didn’t know were slim. everyone cheered and egged him on for more. Chris obliged and before you knew it things got wild.

 The lights got dimmer, the music louder, the bodies sweatier, the dancing dirtier and the atmosphere even more hedonistic. You didn’t know what it was that when some celebs got together inhibitions went out the window. You saw some of your favorite celebs just going for it on the dancefloor and it all made your inner watcher go into hyperdrive.

 The club was so hot. You didn’t know if it was because there were so many people here or because it was June. Maybe it was even because you’d been dancing your ass off for the last hour nonstop and had gone through more drinks than you could count. The pounding of the beat through the club speakers shook the walls and the ground but no one seemed to care. All anyone seemed to care about was who they were dancing with, what drink was next and who they were going to leave with. You saw Chris was the corner of your eye. He was sitting with a beer watching and laughing. You plopped down on his vacant lap and whispered to him.

 “Having fun birthday boy?”

 Chris nodded and leaned to your ear to respond. “Of course, how could I not? I’ve got the best girl right here.”

 You snorted and shook your head. He could never get out of sweet talker mode. “Yeah, best girl.”

 “I can barely sit up, I’m ready to go,” Chris said. Everyone protested and tried to convince him to stay but it was no use. He easily stood even with you on his lap, but he held on tightly to you ensuring that you wouldn’t fall.

 “I can get you home if you’d like,” Chris offered. You nodded then said your goodbyes.

 The car ride to your apartment was not a long one, you didn’t live far from the club. The entire ride the two of you joked and laughed about everything that had happened in the club. You told him about all his horny celeb friends and teased him that if he didn’t watch his ass he’d turn into one too. He loved that and laughed his ass off because of it. by the time the car pulled up to your apartment you were ready to get some sleep. As you walked up the steps you could feel Chris’s eyes on you, so you turned back.

 “Chris.”

 “Y/N.”

 “You should find a way to enjoy the rest of your night. It is your birthday after all,” you said.

 “Who said I didn’t enjoy my night already?”

 “There’s enjoy and en-joooy,” you said stretching out the second time you said the word. Chris smirked.

 “Any ideas how I should en-joooy the rest of my night?” You walked back to the car and leaned into the open window to his ear.

 “You’ve worked so hard this year, been so good. You deserve some birthday sex,” you whispered.

 Chris scoffed and took a deep breath before he leaned back and peered into your eyes. “And just how do I accomplish that? I’m a single man.”

 “Yeah, but you’re also Chris Evans. Use that shit. Night.” You smiled then winked and walked off inside.

 After a shower and a little more wine your got inside your head and through about Chris and what he’d said. You knew for a fact that he wouldn’t go hooking up with anyone. The point where he was in his life right now, he was a lot different than his younger days. Half of you was happy to see his growth but you took notice of how different he was. He kept to himself more and more and was choosy over who he spent his time with. You felt the air of loneliness around him, but you never brought it up. he was probably sitting at home on his damn couch with Dodger next to him doing absolutely nothing. Making your decision you got to your feet and got moving.

 When you rang his bell, it was nearing two in the morning. You hoped he hadn’t fallen asleep yet. After two rings and no answer you were sure he had and was ready to turn and leave when he opened it. he wore a t-shirt that was two sizes too small and showcased just how amazing his biceps really were.

 “Y/N? what’re—what’re you doing here?”

 “It’s your birthday dumbass,” you said before walking past him inside his house. You made your way to the living room to put down the box you held.

 “It’s actually not anymore. Plus, we just saw each other. I’ve celebrated.”

 “Yeah you did, kind of but it hit me when I was getting out the shower you left the club before anyone could serenade you and present you with your cake.”

 Chris snorted and shook his head. “Y/N, I don’t care about cake.”

 “Of course, you do, it’s your favorite. Come look.” You turned and opened the cake box to show him the ice-cream cake inside. It wasn’t the one from the club but this was the best that could be found at two in the morning.

 “It even says Happy Birthday on it.”

 Chris smiled and it got wider and wider before he was full on grinning.

 “It looks great.”

 “See. Now you wait.” You opened the bag and pulled out the packs of candles and plopped them into the cake. You’d come prepared. After a few minutes you had them lit and glowing in living room. When you looked at Chris his smile was wider.

 “See. Okay,” you began before you ushered him to a spot on the couch then cleared your throat and tapped into your inner fifties pin up girl.

 “Happy birthday—to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to—you. How old are you now?” You turned your ear to him waiting for him to say his age. Chris rolled his eyes and sighed out.

 “Thirty-nine.”

 “How old are you now?”

 “Thirty-nine,” Chris aid a little louder as you motioned for him to speak up.

 “How old, how old, how old are you now?”

 “Thirty-nine!” His shout bounced off the walls sending you into a flurry of laughter.

 Clearing your throat again you tried to get back into character to finish your song.

 “Happy birthday sweet Christopher, happy birthday to you and many moooooore!” You did a mini belly dance at the end which sent Chris into applause. You bowed and ate up the faux admiration.

 “Come blow out your candles.” Chris stood again and walked over to the cake. He stared at it contemplatively for a few moments before he took a deep breath and blew them out. you were shocked when he got it on the first try.

 “Yaay. Happy birthday Chris.”

 “Thank you. you didn’t have to do this. It was too much,” he protested.

 “No such thing for my best guy.” He smiled. You dug into the bag and held out a fork to him. When he took it he took the cake and dropped onto the couch and began devouring the sweet treat. Wasting no time you sat beside him and ate with him. there was no need for words, the most important thing was the cake.

 When it was gone you both still sat there slouched back on the couch in a sugar coma.

 “So how’d the en-joooy your birthday go?”

“Total bust,” Chris responded.

 “Did you even try?”

 “Nope.”

 You sat in silence again for a few minutes before you sat up. “I can help you with that.”

 “Help me with what?”

 “Enjoying your birthday,” you responded. Chris looked at you with a quizzical look on his face.

 “You already did. This was great.”

 “Yeah cake is great and all but it’s not sex.”

 Chris’s eyes bugged out as his jaw dropped. He just gaped at you as if you had three heads.

 “I’m sorry I must be in a deeper state of sugar coma. What?”

 “I can help you,” you repeated as you stood before him. He still gaped at you. when he didn’t speak for a while you brought your hands to the knee length trench you wore and began unbuttoning it. Chris’s eyes dropped to your heads and that was when you saw the panic on his face.

 “Woah, woah. What’re you doing?”

 “What does it look like? You made it to the second to last button before he lurched forward to grab your hands stopping you.

 “I—I—I---I don’t know what--. You don’t—you shouldn’t,” Chris stuttered. It was adorable. He looked like he’d never seen a woman standing before him about to strip. You shook his hands off and finished undoing the material before you spread it and planted your hands on your bare hips.

 “Hoooly—shit.” His eyes raked over your body before he dropped back again to his slouched position. Slowly his eyes drank in your figure in its red lace ensemble. First he looked shocked, then impressed, before that turned to turned on. Now he looked in pain.

 “Y/N. We’re friends.”

 “I know. I’m not suggesting ending our friendship.”

 “Then what are you suggesting?”

 You slipped the trench off and allowed it to fall to the floor before you took two steps to him to stand between his legs.  “I’m suggesting that for tonight we do what man and woman were meant to do from the beginning of time.”

 Still, he didn’t budge. He still looked at you as if you’d lost your shit. “It’s your birthday. You deserve it.”

 Chris didn’t speak or move, so you bent and took his hand to put it on your hip. Once you put it there he trailed it down the side of your thigh slowly feeling your skin before he brought it back to your hip. Once there he squeezed. As you were going to make a move he dropped his hand.

 “We can’t.”

 “Are you saying you’re not attracted to me?”

 “What! No. of course not. You know you’re beautiful and too fucking sexy. That’s not the problem here.

 You climbed on his lap and straddled him. “We don’t have a problem then.”

 Your faces were so close together all he had to do was lean in half an inch and take what you were offering. Chris took a deep breath then crushed his lips to yours pulling you into a searing kiss. Both your moans echoed in the quiet room as you frantically kissed. There was no going slow. Chris wrapped his arms around you and busied his hands with feeling every inch of your skin. You loved the feel of his hands on you. it didn’t matter that before tonight he’d never touched you like this before. it felt as if it was a natural thing.

 Chris pulled away from you and stared into your eyes. “Are you sure?”

 “Hell yeah.” He smiled then kissed you again and held you to his body.

 Before you even knew what happened you felt the fabric of your bra slip from you. you hadn’t even realized he’d expertly unhooked it with one hand. As soon as the bra fell between your bodies Chris’s hands cupped your breasts and massaged them making you slightly arch back. Chris’s lips dipped to your breast and took your nipple into his mouth. He rolled it between his teeth and softly nibbled before he applied pressure and sucked.

 “Mmm, god!”

 You peeled his shirt off his back in a hurry to feel his skin as well. Chris mirrored the same action and sucked your other nipple into his mouth and used the left-over saliva to roll your hardened bud between his fingers. When you felt his teeth clamp down on your skin more forcefully you groaned loudly and bucked across his hardening length.

 “Fuck,” Chris grunted.

 Before he got carried away you pulled away and slipped off of his lap to sit between his legs. His mouth was half open as he watched you. He didn’t look as if he was breathing. You pulled at the waistband of his sweatpants all the while never breaking eye contact. Chris arched up giving you more freedom to pull the garment off. When you saw his cock bob out from behind the fabric you bit your bottom lip. quickly you peeled it off and tossed it behind you. When you gripped him, he groaned and arched his head back onto the couch.

 “Shit.”

 “Mmm, how long has it been?”

 “Since what?”

 “You know since what,” you said as you slowly stroked him. as he sucked his bottom lip he watched your hand instead of answering you. When you stopped he looked back to you.

 “About six months.”

 “Poor baby. Don’t worry--,” you began before you rose to your knees and placed a sloppy kiss to the head of his dick. Once your lips touched him he groaned louder.

 “Fuck.”

 “I’ll take care of you.” once you said it you licked along his shaft on the underside then swirled your tongue around his tip. Chris sucked in a breath then licked his lips. As you lowered your mouth on him bringing him inch by inch deeper into your mouth every move you made he whimpered louder and louder. When he was snugly fit into your throat you moaned knowing the vibration would send him over the edge.

 “Fuck!” Chris gripped your head on both sides and rose his hips to gyrate his cock around the confines of your throat. When he pulled your head off hic cock a long stretchy line of slobber stretched between you. you took the time to take a deep breath but saw his intention. Chris thrusted forward sending his cock back inside your mouth to your throat only to pull back again and do it four more times.

 On the fourth plunge you gipped his shaft with both hands and worked your hands as you took control of his pleasure.

 “Aaah!” Chris’s hands dropped to his sides as you sucked his cock. You didn’t care about the slobber rolling down your chin, you wanted him to feel good.

 “Fuck yeah. Fuck your mouth feels good.” You moaned your encouragement never allowing your hands and lips to part. When his moans turned to breathless pants you knew he was close.

 Suddenly Chris pulled your head off of him again and you were on your back on the coffee table behind you.

 “Jesus, you almost made me fucking come.”

 “I told you I’d take care of you.” He looked enflamed and his smile said he was thinking about payback. He kissed you again and locked your tongue in a sensual dance that sent you over the edge. you wanted to feel him, and you didn’t want to wait. When he tore his lips from yours he kissed down your body until he got to your flimsy underwear. instead of pulling them off Chris balled them and ripped them right off of you. He offered no apologizes, instead, he spread your legs and buried his face between your legs.

 Upon impact his intention was clear, he wanted to make you lose your mind. The deliberate flicks of his tongue were done so expertly that it felt like he knew just wat you needed to get off. In no time you were a moaning, and panting mess. When you felt him delve his tongue inside your heat that was when you rode his face. Chris held your ass in the air and fucked you with his tongue. You knew if his cock was anything like his tongue then you would be ruined for anyone else after him.

 Your orgasm whipped through you unexpectedly and it was the most powerful one you’d had in months. You tried to pry his lips from you, but he kept you there still not satiated.

 “Aaah, Chris. Fuuuuuck!” Again, you came on his tongue, his response was to slurp every drop from you. your scream was loud, and you didn’t give a shit who heard you.

 When he pulled his lips from you his beard was soaked and the fire in his eyes was more blazed than before Chris spread your thighs again and groaned when he realized just how flexible you were.

 “Don’t move,” Chris grunted out.

 “Hurry up.” You buried your fingers inside of you hoping that they’d be a good place filler. Instead of going Chris stayed there watching you fuck yourself getting lost in the sight. He bent again to your pussy and began licking your clit sending you into another orgasm, one of teamwork.

 “Shit, shit, Chris, Chris, fuuuuuck!” Again, he slurped at your sex and drank every drop you gave him.

 He pulled away and hurried out of the room. As soon as he was gone you heard rustling and cursing. Then you heard several things breaking before he was scurrying back to you. Chris dropped to his knees while slipping on the condom. When he lined himself up with your opening he locked eyes with you That before he slowly slid inside your heated core.

 Every inch he fed you felt like the best reward in the world, but it also felt the worst punishment. The sensations were competing and all consuming. Pleasure and pain were one in the same and Chris was showing you that. He grunted clearing struggling to go slow. Before he was half in you’d come again, this time squirting right on him.

 “Fuck!” That was the only thing he said before he snapped his hips forward burying himself to the hilt. Both of you grunted loudly overcome with the pleasure you both felt. Several moments passed before Chris moved again. when he did you were so wet his glide sent him over the edge.

 “Fuck you’re so wet, Y/N”

 “Fuck me. Oh my god, yes!”

 Chris’s strokes were not slow, they were not soft, they were not the strokes of a man who didn’t know what the fuck he was doing. They were the strokes of a man overcome with desire and ready to get lost in all of it. The way he fucked you had you screaming his name as loud as humanly possible. You didn’t expect this. You expected him to know what the fuck he was doing but you didn’t expect for him to be this good.

 After barley five minutes you’d come again. the condom was now slipping threatening to slide off inside of you. Chris’s frustration with fixing it was evident.

 “Fuck it. take it off.”

 “What?”

 “Take it off. I want to feel you.”

 Chris wasted no time. He pulled off the condom and slammed back inside of you. Everyone always said condom sex and raw sex felt the same, but they were fucking lying. The way he felt sliding in and out of you was hedonistically good. You could see yourself getting addicted to this feeling. The look on Chris’s face said the same. his mouth hung open and his eyebrows were knitted. He gripped your hips and held you still then rotated his hips sending his cock rotating inside of you hitting every wall.

 “Shit! Yes!”

 The encouragement had him slamming inside of you with no organization, no plan, just one intent, release. Chris grunted loudly then grabbed one of your breasts. Your body bucked against his meeting him thrust for thrust giving just as good as you got. Chris’s moans could not be controlled, and neither could his hips.

 “Fuck you’re gonna make me come,” Chris warned.

 “Come for me!”

 “You want me to come?”

 “Yes, come for me. Fuuuck, right there, right there. Yes!”

 Chris’s shouts blended with yours and it was such a beautiful sound. Feeling the force of your coming orgasm you arched back. Chris pulled your sweat slickened body half off the table and held you suspended in the air. The new angle was what you needed. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your nails sunk into Chris’ hand on your hip. You came with the force of all the horsemen of the apocalypse. Your body shook as you clenched around him pulling him down the rabbit hole with you. Chris whimpered then thrust once, twice, and a third before he nudged your g-spot giving you your final orgasm.

 When he dropped on your body you were both out of breath and close to death. Chris dropped back to the floor taking you with him. you remained connected with your body draped over his. Neither of you could move, or speak. You could barely think coherently. You didn’t know how much time passed this way, it could have been minutes or hours. He could have been speaking but you didn’t hear shit, you were drifting off in outer space.

 “I’m—I’m sorry.”

 You rose your head and looked down to Chris. “What?”

 “I’m sorry. I tried to pull out, I literally couldn’t.” You snorted then laughed resting your forehead on his collar.

“That’s what you’re thinking about now?”

 “Yeah, I should have pulled out,” Chris continued.

 “Okay Chris, don’t worry I’m on birth control,” you assured.

 Silence returned between you for a few seconds.

 “What? I don’t care about an unplanned pregnancy. You didn’t say it was okay, I don’t want to violate you.”

 You looked at him again and slowly smiled. “So you don’t care if I get pregnant?”

 “I’m damn near forty. I could do a lot worse in that department.” You snorted and shook your head before you laid back on him to listen to his still racing heart.

 “Was that as good for you as it was for me?”

 It was Chris’s turn to laugh. “Yes. That was—incredible. You’re incredible.”

 You smiled and snuggled closer. “So, did you en-joooy your birthday?”

 “Yes, I did en-joooy my birthday but if we imagined we were on the West coast then it would still be my birthday. I think I have enough left in me to en-joooy it some more.”

 Your jaw dropped as you looked at him. “Chris Evans.”

 His smile was cheeky and you were not an idiot to say no.

 “On one condition, get me to a bed please. I can’t be fucked like that again on a table. Ouch.”

 Chris laughed loudly as he got to his feet holding you to him before he walked toward his bedroom.

 “Good thing I didn’t plan on fucking you like that again.”

 “Whaaat?” Your eyes were wide.

 “Don’t look so surprised, I’m more than a one trick pony. I have more tricks up my sleeve.”

 He kicked the door shut and dropped you onto his bed with a completely devious expression on his face.

 “Happy birthday—to you,” you began singing again before he jumped on you making your playfully scream. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS EVANS!!!

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

I was in a toxic friendship

I want to preface this by saying I am so much happier right now and I am no longer friends with this person. Haven’t seen or heard from her in over a year. I also want to be clear this was a friendship I had in real life, not tumblr. I think however this story’s lessons can be applicable across the board to online friendships and even relationships with family members. Please, if you ever feel belittled by your “friends,” and you bring it up to them and they brush it aside and think you’re overreacting, it’s not a friendship. 

I was friends with this person, let’s call her Stacy, for about ten years before I realized I no longer wanted to speak to her or be her friend. I met her in the ninth grade and we bonded over Disney World and other things and I could talk to her about anything, including this huge crush I had on a twelfth grade boy. She came over to my house sometimes, though not a lot, and as high school wore on we started going to the mall together, stuff like that. I went to college in a different city and she came to visit me sometimes, and we even worked at the same theme park, though different departments. For all intents and purposes this was my best friend, though Stacey got upset when I also called my cousin my best friend, even though she spoke of her sister as her best friend.

She got a boyfriend when we were both around 21/22 or so, I think we were both juniors in college, though she took a semester off because she hated school and thought it was weird I was a double major. She told me her boyfriend was thirty and she met him at work. I thought the age gap was a little big, but I wasn’t one to judge. Later on I found out he was 36 and she told me she lied because she was worried how I would react. I met him and I thought he was nice, but when she got engaged when we were both around 23, I had only met him that one time for a birthday dinner she had, and my mom and dad told me they thought it was kind of strange. They also said it was weird to them whenever I hung out with Stacey it was only for like an hour, two at most, especially since my cousin and I could spend days and day together at sleepovers, chilling and being ourselves, interpretative dancing, lol. Privately I also found it odd I could talk to Stacey about anything, but when I asked questions about her life and her thoughts she’d barely talk. Her grandma passed away, she loved visiting my grandma because she could have one through me. One day I broke down and admitted my grandmother is a narcissist, and she is different behind closed doors. she berates me, used to call me fat, berated me. Stacey didn’t believe me. I can’t say when she started not being such a good presence in my life, but these were some seeds, and it got worse--slow at once and then all at once as they say.

Anyway, I was a bridesmaid of hers and her sister was the maid of honor--a mutual friend was another bridesmaid and there was one more (super sweet girl and I don’t even think Stacy talks with her much anymore either LMAO) and at this point in my life I was really into my first fanfic IWD. I was consumed with it, to put it bluntly. This is another story entirely but I spent so much of my college career as an English major writing for academia, and when I was finally writing something for me, I bloomed. I talked to her about it and she kind of laughed about this Cullen person but she liked to read fanfic herself so was whatever about me doing it. I shared with her my first piece of commissioned art and she laughed at Lydia thinking Lydia was just me, and I told her, no, she wasn’t, she’s based off of several old hollywood ladies and I actually made her avatar in game, but she wouldn’t believe it. I actually ended up saying “would you think this if I were white and she were white as well” and she laughed and didn’t understand. Needless to say the whole incident rubbed me the wrong way. I ignored it. Her wedding happened, her sister made a good speech, then when all the groomsmen did a speech for the groom the other Bridesmaids and I thought we had to do something, so we got up there and made an impromptu speech. I called her my sister and I told her I loved her. I didn’t know it then, but I didn’t believe her when she said “love you too.”

I wanted to go back to school, and I ended up in a Masters program after the wedding. My summer semester, my first, went well, starting in June and ending in July. I finished IWD and went to another fic, Stacey making fun of Sophie, my OC for that fic too, because I just straight up made her part Hawaiian like I am. When I told her I had little representation growing up other than like Lilo and Stitch and now Moana, (which I don’t like TBH but another story lol.) she asked me what the big deal was about that. Why did it matter that no main character ever looked as I looked? I couldn’t explain to her how much writing a character who was like me in a fanfic mattered. We planned on going to Disney World, me, her, her sister, and the other bridesmaid, but don’t post anything on facebook because she didn’t want to invite the other other bridesmaid. I wanted to go to a nightclub with her for my birthday but she didn’t want to go because her sister couldn’t enter, so after my whole family, plus her and her husband ate at my favorite restaurant, she went home even after I begged her to come with my and my cousin. She said it was stupid. Also, her husband was a huge ass to wait staff. Alarm bells went off for all of us.

But I was looking forward to Disney in December that year. (2018) I didn’t have a job at the time but was actively looking. Well, I got a job after interview after interview at restaurants that wouldn’t hire me, my dream job researching Shakespeare. It fell through. (I was promised to actively help the professor research, it fell through.) She paid for the trip without me knowing and I had to pay her back 800 dollars on writing commissions which I severely underpriced. because I was worried no one would pay otherwise. School wasn’t going well. Put it simply I felt really dumb and stupid and like I didn’t belong, (we were reading Ulysses!!!) which I later learned was a common sentiment with my classmates who began the same time as I. I will admit my relationship with academia is rocky at the moment, but I genuinely do love to write, love to research, love to make discoveries about new texts. Stacey saw how stressed I was and sad and got angry I was so sad, and asked why was I in school anyway Am I going to be on my deathbed and wished I studied harder? I didn’t have the energy to tell her it wasn’t about “studying harder,” it was that I loved writing and reading and wanted to be a part of academia. Learning makes me happy, expanding my mind. She belittled me anyway, thinking getting a Masters was dumb and I wouldn’t get a good job.

At Disney World I was so happy. I hadn’t been there since I was a child. She made fun of me for wanting to meet Ariel, for wanting to ride Soaring and being afraid to check grades when a classmate said they were up. I got so stressed I cried at the Japan pavilion at Epcot and stress ate sauerbraten at the Germany pavilion (Amazing by the way, I love German food.) She basically dictated the entire trip--we went to Universal for Harry Potter World at her request and refused to ride the spider man ride with me (it was fucking fun too-girl missed out.) All she wanted to do was stand around in Harry Potter world all day, (LOL now right?) I wasn’t that big of a Potter fan anymore, even at that point, and she told me I was going to stay there anyway and like it. She dictated the entire trip and when I questioned her about it she said I wasn’t listening to to her--we were following the agenda. Our last day there we went to a “Hawaiian” restaurant and made a comment about my “Hawaiian privileges.” I just didn’t have the heart to tell her that the crap we ate didn’t hold a candle to real Hawaiian luau food.

When we got back I was mentally drained and melancholic because I wondered why Stacey was so cruel to me. She always had a biting wit, but before it seemed playful. Now it was cruel, mocking. She made me feel so incredibly stupid. At this point my cousin got engaged and I cried because I wanted so badly to be in love with someone and get married. I was angry and I lashed out at people I shouldn’t have. I was later diagnosed as depressed. I felt like my life was at a standstill and matters with Stacey didn’t help. I also had a huge writing crisis--I told Stacey something I will always remember and always regret because she doesn’t deserve to know: I write the romances I want because no man wants me.  At this point, Stacy turned me into her project. She didn’t like how sad I was at Disney World, it put a bummer on her trip, and when I told her she seemed off she brushed it off. Her plan was to get me on dating apps and basically settle for anyone, even though I had used apps before and don’t like them, but when I got back on Bumble she basically patronized me and told me she was proud of me and “small steps.” On bumble, I wanted to vomit. (for the record, I am not against dating apps, I know success stories, but at that time I was not emotionally ready to date.) Also, she would teach me to drive so I could go on dates, but only in my Dad’s truck. 

I wish I could say I broke it off, that I told her not to talk to me again, but Stacey stopped talking to me first. However. the day she stopped was when I told her she was wrong and I wouldn’t listen to this anymore. What happened? I mentioned I was demisexual.  She said it wasn’t real. I said it was real to me--I don’t experience sexual attraction unless I have bonded with someone. Sure there are people I like to look at, but it’s not a sexual attraction. She asked about my crush on Tom Hiddleston, Cullen, “that robot guy” and was like yeah you’re sure demi, and lol it’s not real. It wasn’t just her words, it was the mocking indifference. 

I went off. I told her she didn’t have the right to tell me what was in my brain or how I felt. I knew who I was and who I am. I should have also told her I wasn’t her project, but I left her that day and it was the last time I saw her.

I talked to my dad that night and mentioned it to him, being demi, and you know what he told me? I think I’m the same way. I think I almost cried. 

I tried to talk to her again but she didn’t want to see me. She had “personal issues and was busy” I pissed her off. Good, I say now. But after this happened in March of 2019 I thought I had no friends. She was my only friend, and I lost another mutual friend (one we went to Disney with) because she knew Stacey longer than she knew me. But you know what happened in April? My cousin asked me to be her maid of honor and I fucking wept, because there was my best friend--my sister all along. Just because she lives in another city and we are growing up and it took me longer to figure out my career than her doesn’t change the fact that we have a bond that can’t be broken. My cousin is one of my favorite people and if you know her you love her--it is impossible not to. And when I told her about my fanfic and about being demi she wanted to know, wanted to listen. School got better too--I started chatting in class more and come to find out, one of my classmates also broke up with a toxic friend. God I love her and I miss her--wish I could see her. (thanks COVID) 

There was more, but this was a lot, and I spent more time writing this than I thought I would. I wanted to write it because seeing a few posts float around made me remember, and I want ya’ll to know, leaving a friendship is scary. Sometimes it can be worse than leaving a lover. But it is a brave thing to do. Part of me that knew I should have left at the first racist comment (oh yeah, she called me a pineapple one day before the Disney trip, did I mention it’s a slur for Hawaiian people? If my grandma were there she would have clobbed her.) but I stayed because I didn’t think I had any other friends. Well, I did and I do, and I know now friends lift each other up, not belittle or talk behind your back. They listen to me when I talk about how important my writing and my characters are to me. 

Sometimes I still miss her--but mostly the high school her that I knew before she met her husband. I don’t know if he changed her or this was her all along, perhaps both. I got fired from a job in November 2019 (which now I’d like to thank them because I got a better and more fulfilling job with a boss that respects me.) and when I cried outside the place, humiliated, I wanted to call her and vent like I used to. I didn’t. Now I don’t want to call her anymore or talk to her. I’d rather spend time with people who care, people who don’t kick me when I’m down. Since then I am so much stronger, in so many ways. The worst times in my life yielded the greatest lessons I have ever learned. 

If you made it this far, thank you. I did tear up a little writing this, but please know: it can be hard to walk a new path, but it is brave. You are brave. You don’t deserve to be belittled *hugs*