#this happens DAILY

[lost-in-derry]

Kallus notices Zeb staring at his hands intently

Kallus, in his head: Why is he staring at my hands? Is he remembering what they’ve done? Oh gods, he’s realized I don’t deserve him and he wants to break up—!

Meanwhile, Zeb: Are our kids gonna have four fingers or five??

(Zeb has not even brought up getting married yet.)

[edwardteachswombtattoo]

Ed walking into the inn with a bundle of freshly picked wildflowers for Stede hidden behind his back, unaware Stede also has a bundle of freshly picked wildflowers.

[all-or-nothing-baby]

Me, suffering crippling writer's block: I don't think I'll ever write again.

Me, a few minutes later, after writing a mere 46 words of a wip: I! AM! A! WRITER!!!!!!!!

[rentedvsl]

having a best friend with opposite taste in men is a death sentence like stacyyy why are you sending me edits of that twink with the telephone pole build again you knowww i like a man who could break all my bones with a light tap on the shoulder

[ghostellie]

Owning dark colored cats is regularly mistaking clothes on the floor/furniture for them. I go to pet my beloved cat but I just end up awkwardly stroking a shirt instead.

[fledgeheart]

I was scrolling through tumblr and thought “wait I need to check ______, I’ll do it in two secs I won’t forget”

I forgot. I’m sad now I forgot what I wanted to check :(

[chronically-rotting]

Daily occurance.

[girl-named-matty]

Sebastian: Don't correct me! Ominis: Don't be wrong!

[captainimprobable]

Underrated annoying thing about narcolepsy is getting yourself a fun lil drink and then being hit by a wave of exhaustion, and trying to fight it bc you JUST got a drink and if you sleep now it'll melt my starbucks is being WASTED i have an entire grande sitting on my nighttable and i am going to pass out before 9pm

[bookpdf]

lumon's department sizes are so funny. "how many people do we need to refine some super important data?" uhhhh four i guess. at most. "what about the company marching band?" fuck ur so right. we need a company marching band with like fifty people. this is of prime importance to the lumon mission.

[sulfurrrr]

shaking myself by the shoulders and saying girl you have an anxiety disorder it is NOT that big of a deal

[strange-lamp-stranger]

you ever just.

[puffin-smoke]

There are these three girls at my college who, whenever they see me, will play the song Sorry by Justin Bieber. They will either sing it at the top of their lungs and try to get me to sing along, or they'll play it from their phones. I don't know why they do it. I just nod and walk away at top speed. I'm scared this has been happening since highschool-

guys i’m bored tell me something that happened to you/something about yourself and let me give you a redacted character

[quibbs]

the saddest concept. i have ever encountered in my job

[strawtebby]

I work in a call center and made this while we were slow. I ise he/him by the way but I'm not going over that with every customer that calls lol