#this has been truly beloved to me

[septembersghost]

in 2013, i feverishly marathoned breaking bad for about two weeks, suddenly wanting in on what was happening because it was such a cultural phenomenon. i crunched it in so fast that it probably did something to my brain - the first episode i had caught up in time to see live was ozymandias. (another show i'd loved was ending around that same time and was going very badly in its final season - if you know, you know - and breaking bad was also a distraction from that initially, but ended up being a fascinating juxtaposition.) in hindsight, i probably watched it too quickly at the time for it to have its full effect, but it was such an intense rollercoaster. i still remember the chills i had at "just get me home, i'll do the rest," at those closing strains of baby blue at the end of felina.

i rewatched breaking bad in 2019, more slowly, much more solitary, after the news of el camino was announced. (after the loss of my beloved dog who had once barked at walt.) the scope of it and its tragedy unfolded differently for me then. i (unpopularly, perhaps) had more sympathy for walt the second time around, and a very different perspective on his difficulty asking for or accepting help that is an initial burning ember of his descent. i ached more for jesse, who's seeking something in all the wrong ways, who tries so hard to be loyal to those undeserving of it, who has to pass through hell to make it back into the land of the living. there are images that are so indelible. the pink teddy bear. every expanse of desert. a red floor. skyler walking into the pool in despair, the eerie blue around her like a curse. it's such a masterwork, but far more than the violence or the action or the western influences or the villainy, i was struck on that rewatch by the desperate humanism. people are trying to survive, trying to cope, trying to get justice by seeking revenge and realizing the two can never meet, trying to claw their ways out or to the top and sinking further in, but it's all deeply human. that's what makes it effective, it never loses sight of that, even in the bleakest of its moments.

when better call saul was announced and people didn't know what exactly it would be - comedy? case of the week? courtroom drama? - i just remember being excited because i'd be able to join it from the beginning, and i did. i started watching that first night and stayed, and it's fitting, in a way, that i never experienced breaking bad like that - it was so clamorous, so fast - and yet weekly, yearly, i did have the steady slow burn of bcs. i can't tell you when i knew it was special. i could say it was in the very first episode, in that perfect noir lighting of the parking garage. or mike's monologue in five-0. or the devastating, quietly reeling, "i thought you were proud of me," in pimento. but it was clear that it was rising to the occasion, that it belonged in the firmament category with its predecessor.

the show felt way more personal to me, for reasons that are hard to articulate. i remember when they mentioned my city in S2, and the fact that we'd dealt with some difficulties with the care facility my grandmother had been living in when she passed the year before, and how it made the texture of jimmy's world feel so close and real. i remember watching kim and her post-it note montage, and just thinking how resonant she was to me. strangely enough, until this last season, it was a show i very much kept to myself. i look back at my old blog and can't believe the lack of its presence there. i don't know why i didn't post about it more often. i wish i had, if for no other reason than to have diaristic record of the emotions, but at the same time it left it in a sacred space. breaking bad was excellent, but better call saul was remarkable. it was a show that was very much mine.

i rewatched it, too, after el camino, in preparation for S5, and then when S5 began in 2020, i was very annoying about it because i wanted to watch it live. (a show i once loved that was ending was, for a brief time, airing in the same timeslot. in fifteen years, i'd never intentionally skipped it, but i did for bcs. it was more important. also, note a pattern here with things coming to bad endings and this universe being an unexpected balm to that agony lol.) my mom had never seen it, nor brba. she had to endure me dropping her into the unknown, and she was like, well, fine, if you're going to make me watch this, then i may as well watch the whole thing so i know what's happening. and we did, and she became as enrapt and invested as i am. i think i even appreciated its gorgeous cinematography - which is such an artform and such a signature of the show - more when she was noting it in awe with me. she came to love it just as much, and there was such a magic in watching her connect with it that i think it made me hold the show even closer.

i love a lot of trash (i say this fondly), because i'm a character person over a plot person a lot of the time - give me characters to love and i will persevere and put up with a certain amount of nonsense, i can't help it. i fall in love with characters. bcs exists in this place of honor where it's both prestige television with astoundingly intricate writing and character development and every plot is interconnected without a thread being dropped, and yet it's also beloved to me. it's truly a gem. i love these characters so dearly, despite the fact that it's a dark universe and, yes, many of them do terrible things. the sacred hearts, the myriad identity issues, the justice complexes, the sacrifices. the love story that feels so intimate and honest that it's unlike any other romance on television. its existence as a ghost story, as many of us have discussed. the people feel so grounded and real that they become a part of us. i've said this before and i'll say it again - the story may not be real, but the love we have for it is.

there's so much i could say about them all, this entire cast of indelible characters, but i just want to give a moment to kim wexler. kim and i are not particularly alike as women in certain ways - i wear my heart on my sleeve, i cry too easily, i'm terrible at confrontation, i'm too soft and dreamy. in other ways though, i understand her. the propensity to listen instead of speak, the insularity (in my case from being an extreme introvert), the sense of aloneness, the anxiety, the carefulness (in both what she says and things like changing punctuation over and over in a document to get it right), and even the sense that this world is structured horribly unfairly and the wish that something could be done about it, and how easily that desire can go wrong. the way she wanted more. i always admired her unwavering resilience, her capacity for understanding and unexpected decisions, her intellect, the depth of her heart underneath what she was willing to show to most. we, the audience, were let in to see that. it was almost conspiratorial, between she and us (sometimes with and sometimes without jimmy). the facets of that character that were explored and that rhea portrayed so stunningly are unendingly special to me.

seeing her fall and her self-loathing and her guilt and her diminishment has actually been quite hard on me - it's fathoms away from what i live with and yet also feels too close, like invisible scratches across my skin. as someone who's so self-hateful/critical/blaming, as someone who feels like she walks around in the body of a long-dead girl whose potential was wasted, as someone whose illness stopped her life cold and made it very small (at this point, has essentially made it a single room), it's not something i'd wish on anyone, including fictional characters i cherish. it's probably overly identifying, it's emotional rather than logical reasoning, but that's how i'm wired. i love her so much and i want something better for her now. some measure of healing and hope. i don't need a "happy" ending, we know the abquniverse is troubled and tragic, but she has been through her suffering and trevails, and i'll still wish for her to come back into the light somehow. i still want her to save herself.

maybe it's like orpheus, and you cannot look back. it's a sad song, but we sing it anyway. michael mando said in an interview recently that these shows have developed their own mythology, like modern homeric tales, they are epics and fatally flawed hero's journeys, and it's stunning how they've done that while still keeping everything very grounded and realistic and tangible. there are no paranormal happenings, no gods interfering, no manipulations by fate, and yet the breadth of that humanistic philosophy is an ethereal power in itself. the show feels literary. it feels textured and rich and lived in. it looks like nothing else and that visual language has painted itself across our minds as viewers. it's unexpected not only in its tragedy but in its humor, in its profound exploration of the human condition, in its romanticism.

i'm rambling and i don't know what exactly i want to say here, because any tribute i write will be inadequate. i wasn't a part of the fandom until we got here to the end, to this final season. (i am very sorry to the people i've bothered talking about it so much and emotionally analyzing it, that was certainly never intentional.) maybe i should have kept it to myself, but it has been wonderful sharing it with all of you, and i feel very blessed and grateful that it brought such amazing things to my dash, and such thoughtful, wonderful people into my life. i'm so thankful i got to share it with friends i already knew, and new friends i was lucky enough to find. it's been an absolute pleasure to spend this time and share our thoughts together.

endings are hard. no matter what, they are, because it's closing a chapter, and you can never have it again anew, even if you revisit it. there was a very kind post about this on the sub. we experience a sense of grief at endings, and i think we need the time and space to feel that. passions and stories and art do keep us alive.

i am endlessly thankful i had this one, in a way that i don't quite feel for any other show. if i'd loved it less, maybe i could've talked about it more. these past years have been so unrelentingly difficult for me, just this year itself has been such a struggle, but there was a constancy and a sense of...not even escape, necessarily, but exploration and empathy, that i found throughout the course of bcs. i have endless admiration for the actors who portrayed these roles to perfection, to the directors and cinematography that made the show so exquisite to look at, to the writers who worked to honor every step of the journey, to the costuming, to the music, every part of the show handled with such artfulness and care. it does make my heart hurt to come now to the final curtain, and we're not only saying goodbye to this show, but to the entirety of the universe that encompasses it, to a story that began fourteen years ago, no matter when we joined it. in the end, the hurt is only another aspect of that love and the gratitude i have. i'm so glad i made that decision to watch back when i did. i'm so glad each of you who's here did too. it's been quite a ride.

[mobius-m-mobius]

#like deja vu 🤩🥰

[katerinaaqu]

Epic the Musical:

Circe: Oh my! He cannot be transformed by my powers! What do I do?! What do I do?! Think think I need to protect my nymphs! Oh I know! He's a man after all! I'll seduce the hell out of him to get my power over him back! He clearly can defeat my entourage of wolves and lions all by himself! I mean he's damn immune to my magic! I am sure he can do anything with his sword!

Circe: *aggressive flirting*

Odysseus: Oh my gods oh my gods she is hot...what the hell?! Oh I am just a man! Forgive me... No! Wait! J can't! I love My wife way too much! Please let us go home! I miss my wife!

Circe: Awww that is so sweet! Of course darling. I was always a sucker for a good soap opera. Of course I'll help you free of charge and here's some useful tips for your trip! Drive home safely!

The Odyssey:

Circe: Oh my! This man actually had the AUDACITY to come in my home and threaten me! And he took all precautions (a God helped him no doubt). Finally a man I can consider worthy of standing by my side and not bad looking either!

Circe: Come on, darling. Remove your clothes and let's get down on it! Let's see what you've got!

Odysseus: (oh my! Forgive me Penelope that is the only way to save my men! Hermes told me not to refuse her a thing! She is a freaking goddess that commands all these wild beasts! Power over me or not she's a force to be reconed with!) F-Fine but I cannot do what you ask before I ensure my men are safe. Please release them first and then I will (gods gotta buy myself time! Ain't prepared!)

Circe: *does that*

Odysseus: *sighs* I guess we're doing this...

*A year later*

Odysseus: Okay men you had your fun but I can't keep entertaining her forever! We must go home!

Odysseus: Please Circe let me and my people go! We have to go back

Circe: Oh but can't you stay a bit more?

Odysseus: No...I miss my wife and son

Circe: Fine, my dear, if that's what you want... Your happiness is more important than my satisfaction and I love you so I shall let you go. You paid your price fully. Here are some useful tips for you, some provisions and good luck...

[i-d-e-g-a-f]

i ache for katara so deeply, she deserves so much better than her canon fate. i cannot express in words how much her story and how the fandom views/treats her physically hurts me

[yunmeng-jiang]

that man does NOT think of wei wuxian as his gege

[shibaraki]

with my gorgeous boys (/ _ ; ) thank you sm to @ruiaes for this beautiful commission I am completely in love I can’t take my eyes off it !!!!! [do not save or repost]

[miumiins]

"And when he kisses her, he devotes the entire ocean to his beloved."

[soft-girl-musings]

i was let go from my job a year ago yesterday.

things got pretty out of control for a few months, and frankly i don't know if they've stopped. but i do know they've gotten a bit better.

so, so thankful to y'all for being a part of the better <3

[ilumel]

how are we feeling crow enjoyers 😎

[aroacettorney]

perhaps the reason why aup ended like *that* is because it was not supposed to have a happy ending in the first place, but sayren didnt have the guts to deal with readers' backlash for when they finally kill off the main character so a half baked happy ending is what we get 😔

[essektheylyss]

okay but actually I'm remembering all of the things that slap about the Circle of Magic series and... perhaps instead of starting my rewatch of c2 I will just finally do a full proper reread of the whole series now that I own every Emelan book and finally read Battle Magic

also tbt when I reread Briar's book in April 2020. never question my resolve my sheer force of will is stronger than you can imagine

[gregmarriage]

“patty chose a life of celibacy.” marge, babe, patty is a lesbian.

[canarymemories]

close to you

rating: general audiences archive warning: no archive warnings apply relationship: sena izumi/tsukinaga leo additional tags: sharing a bed, fluff, literal sleeping together, mutual pining, or at least i consider it mutual pining, i feel like most of this is just lovemailing izumi: the fic words: 2,689 published: 2022-11-24

summary:

it's been a while since their schedules aligned well enough to really see each other for more than a few minutes at a time. the only thing is that leo is pretty sure izumi has a shoot early in the morning — in a few hours, really — so as much as he'd love to see his roommate awake, leo knows he's is far better off asleep.

but, that doesn't stop leo from seeing him altogether, right?

here on ao3

leo knows that the apartment will be quiet when he returns; izumi is notorious for going to bed early and has been all the way back in their yumenosaki days. as hard as leo would try and sway him to stay up during the few times izumi slept over, the model would ignore him and sleep as leo worked through yet another refrain that would've kept him up anyway.

so, when leo returns, he's careful to unlock the door and let himself in as quietly as he can. it's already in the early morning hours, meaning izumi has already been asleep for a while now if his normal routine is anything to go by. despite that, the apartment isn't completely dark; ever since leo started staying later after jobs to scribble down a line or two or maybe a whole song, izumi's kept to a habit of leaving the light on in their little hallway for his return, though dimmed.

as silly as it is, the light being on makes leo want to see him. it's been a while since their schedules aligned well enough to really see each other for more than a few minutes at a time. the only thing is that leo is pretty sure izumi has a shoot early in the morning — in a few hours, really — so as much as he'd love to see his roommate awake, he knows izumi is far better off asleep.

but, that doesn't stop leo from seeing him altogether, right?

with that in mind, he softly hums as he makes sure to lock the door and place his keys on the counter where he'll see them when he has to leave next. once his shoes are toed off, placed somewhat neatly next to izumi's, leo heads further into the apartment, clicking the light off as he goes.

he stops in front of izumi's room where the door remains open a few centimeters rather than being fully shut. for a brief couple of seconds, leo considers going to his own room to change clothes and glances down at the vague shapes of his hoodie and pants in the dark. that should be fine to sleep in, right? not that it matters all that much when seeing izumi takes priority.

with his decision made, leo steps into izumi's room, making sure to not let the door squeak as he opens it slowly then pushes it back to how it had been. as he approaches the bed, his fingers twitch for a pen and paper. there's a thin stack of papers left on the nightstand, having been put there after the first handful of times leo had gotten inspiration mid conversation. and there, peacefully asleep, is his desired target, wrapped in his blanket and curled on his side.

now, izumi's beauty is nothing new to him, yet there's moments as if it's the first time all over again. except instead of izumi's hair glowing, a fair colored halo from sun streaming in through the windows of a long abandoned classroom, appearance deceptively angelic compared to his out of tune singing and equally as sharp words, his hair is now tousled from sleep and pressed messily against his pillow with nothing but his soft breaths making a melody this time. 

it's not like this is the first time leo's seen izumi asleep nor is it the first time he's seen this more soft, vulnerable part of him — if anything, he's had his fair share of fond looks from izumi to make up for lost time — but even so, a quiet tune begins to wind its way through leo's mind. he glances at the small stack of paper again.

as much as he would like to sit and diligently put the piece on and proudly show it off in the morning, leo feels his exhaustion hit him all at once now that he stands at the side of izumi's bed. he tries his best to make a note to keep this song in his head because he knows better than to start writing out the notes now. he's been nagged by izumi way too many times about writing without a light, but it's not like he could just turn the lamp on to do that since izumi really would wake up. maybe he'd understand. it's not like izumi doesn't know how important leo's creative process is; why else would he carry paper and pens with him near always and treat every piece he's created as if it's something sacred? leo knows better than to try it, though.

leo knows sleep is necessary, so he won't compose in the dark or by the light of the lamp now as much as he wants to. he'd promised izumi and madara that he'd work on taking better care of himself and that includes going to sleep when he should even if yet another izumi inspired verse waltzes around in his head.

getting himself back on track, he pulls the hair tie from where it rests in his hair and sets it atop the papers that are calling for him. and after a moment's consideration, he takes off his hoodie, leaving him in whatever shirt he had underneath as he drops it to the floor.

not wanting to wake izumi, leo slowly lifts the edge of the blanket closest to him and slides under, stopping once he's next to izumi. up close like this, even in the dim light of the room, the moon shining in through the gaps in the curtains, leo can make out the gentle curl of izumi's eyelashes, the light smattering of freckles that are noticeable when he's not wearing makeup.

leo comes to the conclusion, then and there, that slipping into izumi's bed is a good idea. it's not as if this is the first time he'd done this, so maybe he'd known all along.

he takes his time looking over izumi's face as he notes little things: the way his hair curls and falls against his forehead and the pillow, the way his eyebrows twitch slightly at whatever he's dreaming about. leo may be tired, but having the opportunity to simply stare at izumi without the model getting flustered at the attention or telling him off is way too good to pass up, even as the urge to close his eyes gets stronger.

however, he knows he can't sit there and stare at izumi all night. leo settles onto his back and looks up at the ceiling before looking over at his roommate again. simply sharing a bed isn't enough it seems, so leo cautiously moves izumi's arm that had been curled towards his own body to rest over his torso. pleased with his position, leo does one last little scooch towards izumi before finally closing his eyes. 

the song in his head begins to slow as the end nears and mixes with izumi's even breathing. leo is about to fall asleep when izumi grumbles something he can't quite make out before moving closer. maybe leo had been a little too excited at the thought of seeing his roommate that he hadn't been careful enough to make sure he didn't wake his roommate. 

he braces himself for izumi's reaction only for izumi to press closer to him, half nuzzling into his hair. izumi mumbles a very close to still being asleep, "welcome home."

generally izumi's reaction to leo slipping into his bed is far more, well, reactive, but leo figures it could be izumi missing him too. leo doesn't put that much thought into it, though, distracted by the way izumi falls back to sleep curled against his side. mixed with their shared warmth and the fuzziness that had come from izumi cuddling up to him, the tune continues, peaceful and heading towards its end, sounding more like a lullaby now.

leo gently rests his hand on the arm draped over him, idly stroking with his thumb. a particularly interesting measure reaches a crescendo and leo can't help but move his hand to compose on izumi's skin with nothing but his finger. rather than the i love you that he finds coming to mind first, leo whispers in return, "i'm home."

-------------------

leo wakes a few hours later with his arms wrapped loosely around izumi's waist and his face squished against the model's back. on the nightstand, izumi's alarm rings out. already knowing it's way too early for his liking, leo tightens his hold on izumi, knowing he'll have to let go soon.

he can feel izumi jolt at the slight squeeze as he reaches out to turn his alarm off. seeing as izumi is hardly a morning person, leo wonders if he even noticed he was there in his just woken up haze. leo refuses to open his eyes, but he can feel izumi half twist to look back at him.

"leo-kun, let go." though he says this, izumi doesn't try to move away from him yet. 

"no," he mumbles, fingers curling into the fabric of izumi's shirt. "you're warm and it's too early to be awake.

izumi, perhaps a bit too used to leo's antics at this point, only sighs and starts untangling leo's hands from himself. "i have to get ready for a shoot."

leo whines and tries to move closer as if that'll deter him. "too bad."

"leo-kun, it's too early for this," izumi says, starting to sound exasperated.

"then go back to sleep."

with a triumphant little noise, izumi successfully pulls leo's hands from his shirt. in all honesty, leo hadn't put up much of a fight with it. this is the first real conversation the two of them have had face to face in what feels like too long and he'll take what he can get at this point. izumi knows from experience that leo will only latch back on if given the chance, so he gets out of bed, only letting go of his loose hold on leo's wrists once he's standing. "you go back to sleep," izumi retorts. he's nowhere near awake enough if he can't come up with a better response than that.

leo peeks an eye open at him, but doesn't say anything, instead content with watching his roommate from the comfort of the bed. without an izumi to hold, leo gathers some of the blanket and holds it in his arms. it's nothing like another person, but it'll have to do for now.

"what, are you just going to watch me?" izumi asks, glancing back at him through the mirror he stands in front of.

leo simply makes a wholly indistinct noise into the blanket, not trying to give much of a response.

at that, izumi turns to look over his shoulder at him. "when did you get back?"

"late," leo says, at least giving a full answer for that. as much fun as it is to watch izumi go through his little routine, leo knows he did not get nearly enough sleep yet — impressive he knows that seeing as how little sleep he gets to begin with — so leo closes his eyes for the time being, curling around his makeshift blanket person. "dunno what time but it was morning already."

izumi makes a soft noise of acknowledgement. leo doesn't have to see him nor does izumi even have to vocalize anything other than that for leo to know he's close to getting an izumi mother hen lecture. "today's your free day, right?" izumi asks as if he's not the one in charge of leo's schedule.

"mmhm."

there's some shuffling of fabric and opening of drawers before izumi replies, in the middle of changing his clothes if leo has to guess. "this shoot is the only thing i have today and it shouldn't take all day."

leo opens his eyes to see izumi fussing with the collar of his shirt in the mirror before moving on to his hair. "you'll be back early?"

"earlier than normal at least."

"good," he replies, his voice coming out soft. "i missed you, sena."

izumi pauses fiddling with his appearance and glances at leo in the mirror before looking down. "i missed you too," he says, equally soft, after a moment.

pleased with the reply, leo laughs. "that's why you were so nice about letting me sleep with you, huh?"

"don't say it like that," izumi says, turning to face him. there's a soft pink starting to fill his cheeks. there's something about him that looks so pretty in the early morning light like that, leo almost loses his focus in the what's being said. "you're the one who crawled in in the middle of the night when i was asleep."

"you seemed happy to cuddle up to me when i did too," leo adds, only more delighted as the color in izumi's cheeks darkens ever so slightly. 

"shut up," izumi huffs out before leaving the room.

"i love you too, sena!" leo calls back, a tiny bit too loud for the early hour.

seeing as the object of his entertainment is now out of his sight doing who knows what in the apartment, leo moves the rest of the way into what had been izumi's spot on the bed. he's happy to find that it's still warm. despite their conversation and the excitement of it (is it weird that something as small as a conversation like that made him so happy?), leo finds himself close to drifting off rather easily.

he's not sure how long he lays there, floating between consciousness and unconsciousness, before he's faintly aware of izumi's steps coming back towards the bedroom. izumi starts to say, "there's food left—" and then stops both literally and verbally when he's at what sounds like the doorway.

leo listens as izumi quietly makes his way around the room to gather what all he needs before he leaves. more asleep than awake at this point, leo nuzzles into the pillow, getting more comfortable as he waits for sleep to welcome him once again. it's then that izumi's shadow passes in front of him, blocking his eyes from the slivers of early morning florence sun that peek through the curtains.

leo hears izumi grabbing his phone from the nightstand, the device bumping lightly against the surface as he picks it up. yet, instead of leaving like leo assumes he would, izumi stays there, unmoving in front of leo. if he were any more awake than he is currently, leo would look up at him and ask what he wants, so he's all the more curious when izumi whispers, "leo-kun."

holding onto staying awake to see what would happen, leo says nothing. he almost jumps when he feels the barest touch of fingertips against his forehead, pushing the hair resting there out of the way. izumi pauses for a second or two and leo wants to know what he's doing when he then feels a light but warm pressure on his forehead. it takes a moment for him to realize izumi just kissed him on the forehead.

izumi's shadow shifts as he stands. his fingers brush hair behind leo's ear, touch lingering for a few more seconds before he leaves the room as if nothing happened.

and with that, leo is left with his thoughts racing in his half asleep state. had izumi ever done that before but he was sleep and had no idea? he doesn't know. it's not like something izumi would just do normally if he knew leo was still awake. with the heaviness of exhaustion weighing down on him, leo almost discounts that as nothing more than a dream, but there's a faint hint of izumi's cologne hanging in the air meaning that was definitely real.

maybe he should be half asleep more often.

leo pulls the blanket closer to his face, hiding his smile in it as he finally drifts back to sleep. and if he wakes in a few hours only to write the faint melody of the song from the night before mixed with the harmonies brought forth from the kiss, well, izumi doesn't have to know what the inspiration was. end notes: hi again, this has been in my wips for like months at this point i think. i spent way too long trying to figure out the ending. ty again mirs for reading part of this for me <33 title from this song , originally bc the song was in my head but then i read the lyrics again and was like lol oh this fits way better than i thought

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

🌊

[poignardeparlebeau]

three things i want from s2 of leverage

1. canon ot3 2. canon bisexual harry wilson and 3. james sterling 

[alienside]

hi and also hello. may i please hear everything about seia i would like the seia breakdown please and thank you <3

seia breakdown!!!! seia my beloved <3

the short version is that seia is 95% of keldan's impulse control. long version under the cut

okay in my head i picture seia as being from like a mountain village whose primary economy is mining-based. this is almost completely irrelevant to the actual story but i planned out everyone's backstories like three years ago so you're getting it. seia's naturally smaller than most people from these mining villages tend to be but he was also more sick than the average kid (which did not help) so growing up he was sort of on the frail side. that being said there was absolutely zero like "gender role" expectation that he would ever have to work in the quarries, because his culture doesn't really have Gender the way others do, and thus don't have gender roles either; everyone just contributes what they can to make sure the household runs smoothly, which means seia grew up helping out with stuff like finances, gardening/animal tending if he had the energy for it, sewing/mending clothes/weaving, other stuff around the house that's less physical labor. (btw this cultural view of gender is also why seia's nonbinary; he literally just cannot be bothered with translating his experience for others, and the first person who spoke to him in another language assigned him he/him pronouns and seia was like "whatever".)

anyway. there's some imperial/war-related stuff that happens next. crown soldiers show up, "this land belongs to this nation now", and they ship off basically everyone who's still school-aged to boarding schools in the empire proper. (two notes: first, i haven't named like most of the places that are relevant to backstory. yes i've had this wip for years. move on. second, i am assuming you've heard of cultural genocide. that's what's happening here.)

seia ends up rising through the ranks so to speak and gets a lot of attention for his knack for languages. he ends up in service of the crown that kidnapped him (this is probably around age 16 or so), as a translator/interpreter, and after a couple years ends up sold/traded to the highest bidder (melati's father, the king of. yet another name i haven't thought up yet.) they use nicer words than "sold/bought", because "slavery is illegal", but i'm not going to pretend seia had any choice in what's happening.

he does use his essentially-free access to royal libraries to do a LOT of reading, both before and after the trade. he teaches himself a lot of stuff, including More languages and some "applicable" life skills. (read: forgery. he gets terrifyingly good at forging official documents. he doesn't use this until after he joins up with keldan, because he's afraid of what will happen if he gets caught, but with keldan he's a bit of a loose cannon lmao)

also. MOSTLY irrelevant to the story but seia has like one friend, who was the youngest son of the first king seia worked for. they made it work alarmingly well despite the power imbalance thing, and the prince teaches seia how to swordfight. seia later trades that in for a dagger, saying it's more his style, but in a pinch.... absolutely deadly. they keep in touch after seia gets traded off, they write letters to each other in varying languages and use code names. the prince's real name is kazik tho.

also also. working for melati's father and spending like 90% of his free time in the library, seia's seen her before and she's seen him. they've talked more than once and melati would even loosely call him a friend at this point in their lives. being a princess she doesn't really question the exact terms of his employment. it's not really malicious, it's just that in her mind, the palace is kind of the best gig anyone could hope for, and she has a daughter's trust in her father (for now) and believes he'd never hold anyone against their will. and while technically he's not holding seia prisoner, seia has nothing and no one on the outside, and nowhere to go, and a contract a mile long that he doesn't know the exact terms of but surely there's a clause in there about abandoning your post before your term is served (there is. seia ends up breaking it anyway).

anyway. seia meets keldan on a diplomatic trip to okskiy, where keldan lounges around the throne room despite his king's best efforts to get rid of him before the party starts. (this is like almost immediately post-aderyn-breakup btw). seia doesn't get much time off during the actual meeting/negotiations/dinner, but once everyone's drunk and happy seia gets to slip away from his interpreter role, and he and keldan make small talk for a while and seia commits his face to memory because it feels like he's the first (second?) person to ever actually look at seia. it's complicated.

they end up meeting again on seia's "home turf"; keldan's delivering something on behalf of his king, and seia's the only one who speaks a language keldan understands, so they get plenty of more-or-less one-on-one conversation time. call it bonding or whatever. later, keldan's wandering around the castle (read: snooping) and happens upon the king propositioning seia (this is compete chance here. keldan's the only person i know who's obnoxious enough to have even the opportunity to stumble in on this conversation), which seia does not want but can't exactly say no to without risking. yknow. his life.

the king fucks off w/ keldan's arrival (not that keldan understood what was being said exactly but the postures... expressions... yeah) to avoid suspicion (does not work) and keldan's like. "fuck that guy." seia replies "he's my king." keldan says "what if he wasn't though" and then gets to play white knight for seia for about thirty minutes (the time it takes them to get back onto keldan's ship) before keldan really starts to get to know seia and realizes he is WAY out of his depth here.

they're more or less business partners after that. it's weird because seia definitely is not considered part of keldan's "crew", but keldan's operation is able to expand thanks to the breadth of languages seia can speak, seia travels everywhere with keldan + has his own cabins on the ship that he never uses bc he's always in keldan's, they read each other's minds and gaze longingly when the other isn't looking, but if a crewmate asks whether they've slept together keldan is like "why would we do that". they're a hot mess. seia forges like 90% of keldan's documents, whatever he needs (the other 10% are, technically, legal), and literally asks for nothing in return. keldan's always putting gold coins in with the rest of seia's stuff or trying to slip him payment some other way. seia stashes his collection of inks and fancy pens and parchments under keldan's bed.

the really sticky part is that neither of them really talk about their pasts. granted keldan can't talk about his childhood without getting into stuff that would make him sound crazy ("turns out there is stuff below the continents" crazy), but neither of them know where the other is from, they don't communicate w/each other in either person's native language, seia doesn't even know keldan had a partner before him.

keldan's also a bit insane. so he gets all these random ideas for all kinds of things (business, ship repairs/additions, fanciful vacations, you name it) and then seia's the one who filters it down into something doable. half the time seia is then also the one who implements it, whatever it is. keldan will be like "lets do a vacation on one of those waterfall islands" and seia will be like "what if instead we just spend a couple weeks off in okskiy" and then also schedule that time off into their calendar. this is more or less because seia is wayyyy more organized but also a little bit because even tho keldan has the big ideas, he wouldn't actually be into them. he would hate the wet humid nature of the waterfall islands and seia knows that and talks him out of it, and keldan wants seia happy so he agrees readily when seia suggests okskiy instead. they make it work somehow and everyone's like "how have you not broken up yet" and they're like "broken what up?"

so. that's where they're at at the beginning of the story, and then aderyn and melati walk onto their ship as a unit and everyone collectively is like. "what the fuck" for a whole host of different reasons. the plot of sky sea is like 50% character-driven conflict in the sense that while aderyn and keldan are trying to reconcile their old history, aderyn's guilt, and keldan's anger, seia's also insanely jealous but doesn't understand why and almost flat out refuses to talk to keldan about it. aderyn and melati have the whole "we're only in this together because both our lives are in danger" on top of the whole "you said no one would know who you were" "how was i supposed to know that the one person who could possibly still be alive to recognize me would be on this boat" thing. seia and melati have a little bit of a guilt/anger thing happening too; it's sort of "logically i know it wasn't her fault but emotionally i need someone to blame and she should have known something was wrong". keldan and melati are pretty much the only pair NOT fighting, but they do bond over being generally obnoxious and high-maintenance. when aderyn and seia aren't trying to kill each other over extremely minor arguments that are actually metaphors for much bigger issues, they're complaining about "royals. ugh". keldan's crew wants to quit sooooo bad except that they also find the drama highly amusing. one guy on the crew is like 'man i always wanted to be part of a high-speed chase' and boy does he get his wish.