#this has made me happier than anything im deep in my feels

[enigmaticdoctorscully]

✨hug✨

(plain background under the cut)

[headkiss]

hii im obsessed with your works!! i love them <3 i was wondering if you could write steve meeting readers family. and being super nervous and cute because he had came over to drop something and didnt expect your family to be there. maybe he just came back from basketball or the sport he plays and regretting not taking a shower before…

idk, change anything you want if its too detailed plss!!

hiii thank u so much! i switched it to be a little christmas dinner, hope that’s okay! | 0.6k, fluff and readers mom is in it

Meeting a partner’s family is always nerve-wracking.

When it comes to meeting yours, Steve’s more nervous than he’s ever been. You mean more to him than anyone else he’s been with, and so, your family’s opinion does, too. If he plans on being with you forever (which he does), then he has to impress them.

Then, there’s the added pressure of the holidays. Dinner is one thing, Christmas dinner is something else.

You’ve assured him over and over that they’ll love him, that they practically already do because of how much happier he’s made you. He simply shakes his head each time you say it, a flush creeping over his cheeks.

As if he’s not already nervous enough, he remembers his own family, and how it’s the only way he knows. The passive aggressive comments, the expectations, the awkward silence at dinner whenever he defends himself in the slightest.

He hopes that he’s not like them, that he’ll fit in with a room full of laughs and love and actual, real smiles.

While Steve’s a total wreck, you’re not worried in the slightest. He’s the most incredible boy you’ve ever known, an even better boyfriend, and there’s absolutely no way your family could ever dislike him.

He sits in the driveway in front of your house longer than he needs to. Then, he worries that they might be weirded out if he doesn’t come in. So, he picks up the flowers he brought—one bouquet for you, one for your mom—takes a deep breath, and heads to your door.

He barely knocks three times before the door opens, your mom, he knows from pictures he’s seen, beams at him from inside.

“You must be Steve.”

“That’s me,” he says. He holds out the flowers for her, “these are for you.”

He addresses her by Mrs, followed by your last name. She’s quick to correct him.

“Flowers! That’s very sweet of you,” she says, “come in, come in.”

He does, and your house is far better than his, he thinks. It might be smaller, but it’s more of a home than his ever has been.

“Sweetie, your boyfriend’s here!” Your mom calls. You’re in the room in a blink.

“Stevie,” you walk over to him, wrap your arms around his neck to give him a hug. The warmest greeting. So warm Steve forgets it’s December, that snow and cold winds are outside. You feel like summer.

“Hi, baby,” he says, kissing your cheek and pulling away to hand you the flowers. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas. These are beautiful.”

You dip your face down to smell them, to relish in the feeling of being given flowers by Steve. He gives them to you often, and it never gets old. The romance of it, the almost shy smile on his face when you compliment his choices.

“Mhm, just like you,” he says, tapping the tip of your nose, making you scrunch it slightly in response. It’s the cutest fucking thing.

“Well I was told you’re an excellent boyfriend,” your mom says. “This one talks about you all the time.”

“Mom,” you drag out the word, embarrassed by her exposing you for being lovesick. It’s true, though.

“I try my best,” he says.

You lean your head against his shoulder, hold his hand to try and ease him in any way you can. And you know he’s a sucker for physical touch.

Steve was expecting so much worse. He feels welcome, and cared for. Your mom takes his coat, she asks him if he wants anything to drink (after chastising you for not doing it yourself).

Plus, with you next to him, your scent in his nose and hand in his, he really can’t feel too bad.

[transitioningpirate]

i've been on T for a little over two weeks now (15 days today, october 18) and i haven't noticed a lot for obvious reasons but i have noticed some things, like:

voice cracks. a lot of voice cracks, and my voice sounds rough, like i have a sore throat. it doesn't hurt at all, and it actually sounds deeper! two (02) people have commented on it, but to be fair, their exact comment was "have you been screaming?"

increase in appetite. which is... i knew it was a possible side effect, but it's much more than i expected, especially since i haven't eaten very well these past months (college is Kicking My Ass) and suddenly i'm hungry, like, all the time. it's actually kind of good for me, because it's forcing me to eat more, and i end up eating healthier, like, i eat better too!

i've been sleeping better? though i'm, like, 99% sure that's just a psychosomatic effect. i've definitely been much, much happier just with the idea of becoming the person i've always known i was deep down. it's significantly increased my mood and my self esteem, even if the effects aren't apparent yet. just the idea of it has made me so much more hopeful! i'm so glad i've made it this far and i get to make it even further!!

oily skin. so oily. the fuck? i mean, i was thoroughly warned and i was ready for it, but it's still more than i expected. i have to wash my face like four times a day now :v soooo annoying

cw: slightly nsfw content. a lot of sensitivity down there. i don't know if it's necessarily bottom growth already, but i've noticed by touch that it seems a bit, enlarged? is that the word? it's a bit bigger. and a lot more sensitive. certain poses i used to sit in, for instance, are almost a bit painful now. it doesn't actually hurt, just bothers a bit, it's only some really specific positions and, well, sensitivity has it's upsides, you know?

im so much warmer?? i feel so hot all the time - in the literal sense!!!! like, okay, im currently living in a state known for being hot and dry and we're getting to november, also known for it's heat waves around here, but seriously, it's so hot. everything is so hot, im running warmer than usual, and ive been sweating so much and i cant sleep without a ventilator in my room anymore! it's also an expected side effect, but it definitely didn't pair well with the state im in for college

more energy! i honestly do believe this is related to #3, though. i don't think it's anything physical, especially because to get to college there's this slope i have to walk and everytime coming home i'm always exhausted and out of air, and that hasn't changed, but for little things - more energy to study, to cook, to clean the house, even at work i've been more proactive and i don't feel as tired as i used to! definitely an upside, though it's probably psychological, i'm fine with that and i'm still so thankful!

[malprazolam]

it has to get better

like everyone says

i don’t feel it getting better

so let me die instead

i know it’s not getting better

do everyone a favor; kill me dead

love,

your favorite fuck up. your only child. your literal creation that you made and can’t stand to be a part of. you’ve told me there’s nothing about me to be proud of. you tell me what’s wrong with me so often i can’t remember the last time you actually told me something i did right or that you liked. i can’t imagine making you proud when i look like this and i carry a dark cloud. i can’t breathe from the anxiety that i’m suffocating underneath. and being buried alive by isolation and loneliness really fucking deep. you know my heart and you know my love for you is bottomless, eternal, never ending— immeasurable. You should know my heart is made of gold and all i want is to do good and i want to do my best by you. i only want to make you proud but i’m a fucking nuisance and i don’t think it’s best for you if i stick around. i know it’s unfair because you can’t exactly walk away and leave me like the rest… and if you decided to try following in their steps, i wouldn’t love you any less. i’m sorry that i’m the daughter you ended up with and the guilt i feel is unutterable. i promise i’ll make sure my room is clean before i leave it and i promise to make sure you’re set and happier when my very name is never repeated.

and through it all wherever i go i’ll love you til the day i can’t physically love anymore. and i promise i’ll figure out how to make you proud one way or another even if it’s just having a clean room before im gone or by hearing me one day when your radio is on. or if we both end up in heaven which i don’t see too promising, we can be best friends again and we won’t fight about anyone or anything again. you might not be happy at first just remember i’m doing this because of how much i’m fucking hurt. your friends and the things they say and the things you tell me about myself don’t help and i don’t think you’d expect anything better from me since you think of me how you do other than to try to erase myself. i’ll love you til the end of time.

[puppyboy1337]

letters to let go. this is a long one so read at your own discretion

drew : drew you bastard. you ruined my life, made me believe you loved me. you never loved me. never. you used me. used me for your own personal benefit. I hope your wife and kids know what a piece of shit you are. I hope you never hurt somebody the way you hurt me.

Amara: my star, I must forgive myself and let you go. you meant everything to me. I hope wherever you are are now after death makes you happier than this life could make you. I hope your family is well. I hope Jax is happy. you deserved the world my star.

Dad : papa I miss you. I miss you more than anything. I miss you calling me fluffball, I miss playing stupid games with you, I miss talking to you for hours on end for no reason. I miss going grocery shopping with you. I miss you. im glad you’re gone, but I miss the times when you were okay.

Willow : I dreaded writing this. I don’t miss you anymore, I don’t love you anymore, I don’t want anything to do with you. you used to mean so much to me, how all of that has faded I don’t know, but I hope I never have to see you again after this year. I hope that once this school year ends, I never see you ever again. I would’ve married you. I would’ve tried to have kids for you. I would’ve done anything for you. you don’t deserve that though. and you didn’t deserve me. I wish you the best though, even after everything. I hope you have an amazing life and that you learn how to love again.

Trixie: you absolute bitch. I hate you. I have every right to hate you. im so glad I’ll never see or talk to you again.

Miles: miles my sweet angel, im so sorry for what our friend group did to you. I miss you, more than anything. I miss our inside jokes and how much you always made me laugh. im so sorry our friends cast you out, made you feel like nothing. you deserved better. I wish I could’ve given you better.

Angelo: hey bud, I miss you a lot. you blocked me out of nowhere, said you hadn’t liked me for ages before you blocked and you just needed a reason. were the lies reason enough? did you have to believe them over me? couldn’t even ask me? you gave me a glimpse into what it would be like to be an older sibling. you gave me a glimpse into a life I’ll never have. I resent you, but im so happy for you. im so happy you feel better without me in your life. all I wanted was to see you happy. I hope you’re doing amazing buddy, I wish you the best.

Aster : oh aster where did we go wrong? me you and Kaden were supposed to be brothers forever. what went wrong? too much I guess. we were all drowning, you just went down harder than us. we were all in active drug addiction, I was using the hardest out of the three of us and you and Kaden pulled me out of that. there are so many things I could say to you, after our relationship ended, after our friendship eventually ended as well. we weren’t good for each other. we both knew that. we all knew it. I hope you’re doing well. you fucked me over, but man. man I miss you and still hope the best for you.

Kaylee: kaylee, before the trio of me, aster, and Kaden, there was the four of us. but, you didn’t want that. you ghosted me, for no reason. just said you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I get it. I really do, but I miss you. I miss talking to you. nowadays I follow you on insta and tiktok, but we never talk. neither of us have reached out yet. I guess because deep down we’re both cowards. everyone knows it, but I’ll never forget how close we were. how close all of us were. our friendship was like no other. I miss it most days, but it’s time to let you go.

to all of you: I have mixed feelings about all of you, conflicting emotions and lot of things left unsaid with you. but im ready to move on. none of you think about me the way I think about you. so it’s time to move on, to let you go, to leave it in the past. it’s for the best. I hope you see it this way too.

[madamlaydebug]

What is this drug everyone is on?

Its that shit everyone seems to be on where they dont give a fuck about collective issues and are just self concerned. How fucked is it that they all seem happier than us "conscious" folk?

But of course they are happy. They are not conscious of the truth of reality. It almost makes me want to take selfies all the time and concern other people with my face every chance I get, to update people on my uninteresting events multiple times a day, to concern myself with sports and TV to the point where I am completely numb to the truth of reality.

I find myself suffering every day, concerning myself with the future of the country, the future of children that I dont even have. I write things that I feel will help, but in the end I find its the same people engaging them. It seems the people I want to reach have no interest. They ignore me like the plague, and I understand why; they dont want their illusions ruined.

Truth is pain, but so is growth, so I know exactly why my existence seems like suffering.

The morality of the world is sinking by the hour, people are getting dumber everyday, tuning themselves to false realities via a box of flickering light patterns. They ingest these electronic hallucinations, unwittingly programming themselves to an unnatural and stupid unreality, making them useless in the ultimate quest in life, to know thyself.

I however am very familiar with myself. I dont indulge in sports fanaticism and vapid entertainment, at least not even close to the level as most people. This is exactly how I am able to delve so deep into the human condition. I am able to know myself, and because I know myself on this level, I am also able to know YOU. Thats right, we are all one, and the beauty of knowing thyself, is the ability to know others. When I say self, I am not talking about the ego we feed. Our egos are creations that support separation. We are all the same underneath the ego.

How much of yourself do you think you can know when you labor for 8 hours at a place you cant wait to leave, then come home for a few of your free hours, 6 at best, because we have to sleep, and you spend hours having electronic hallucinations of a senseless unreality? It has come to the point where people cant sit alone for 5 minutes without a screen in front of them, just listening to the nothingness, the voice of god.

5 minutes of silence to most people becomes chaotic. Their mind seems to fight against them. They will even report to everyone online that they are bored, which to me is nothing but self hatred. They feel the need to tell other people that they cant stand being alone with their own thoughts. They are asking to be rescued from themselves. This is indeed self hatred. But if they turn on the TV, or indulge in social media, they can lose themselves in a plethora of ego via idols, subconsciously adopting them to their own egos, growing more unnatural with every frame.

Sitting in silence with your thoughts reveals your demons, and most people see the only way out as distracting themselves from it, rather than dealing with them, learning to shut them up, performing a sort of mental exorcism. But Im sorry, they wont leave unless you deal with them. They will only grow. And the more you put off dealing with them, the harder it will be to defeat them, because you will be full of ego, and the ego will defeat the self, especially when all do you is feed it with narcissistic social media behavior or constant consumption of ego via vapid TV and entertainment.

Humanity is at the pinnacle of self rejection and self hatred. We worship people and call them stars, but unlike true stars, their natures are not fixed in anything eternal. They are creations, by whoeverthefuck, made to entice you, to pull you into a deeper web of self ignorance. You cant navigate the seas of your emotions with unnatural, unfixed stars.

One of the things I admire about the Jewish faith is that they dont worship idols. In the Torah (Old Testament), they even talked about IDOLATRY and how horrible it is. A Jewish person does not put other human beings on platforms above them. Funny how the first thing Christians do is worship idols, and the same thing with Islam, which make no mistake about it, is root to many of the problems we see in their worshipers.

Ever think that the reason Jews are so successful is that they dont concern themselves with idols?

American Idols make Americans idle. This is why they get nowhere spiritually. They seemingly dont even have a concern for spiritual matters. It all seems to be about material and self satiation. Extreme concern for the self over the collective is due to feeding the ego, AND IDOLS FEED THE EGO.

So what is the drug everyone seems to be on? Its called IDOLATRY, the worship of other people or personas, the perfect way to lose yourself. Dont think for a second that just because you dont pray or act religiously toward something that it isnt worship. Consuming is worship. And if the majority of your free time is consuming, ingesting, absorbing the contrived personas of individuals, you are consuming that which is anti-god.

And you become what you ingest, right?

[khodorkovskaya]

01.02.23

my manchester bestie is getting married and ofc im having an existential crisis over it bc i make everything about myself and myself only.

she called me yesterday and announced her engagement. and i was like "oooo how did it go? how did he propose?" and turns out it was a mutual agreement between them bc of his visa. so there was so proposal and they're only gonna have a quick wedding just to sign the papers and that's it. so it's not like a wedding wedding. (which is a shame bc i was ready to pack my suitcase and go party!) he lives in london and they only see each other once a month. and his goal for living in the uk was to get uk citizenship. now that i think about it it seems kinda fishy idk. but i don't know their relationship that much, ive only seen the guy once and we didn't really talk. they've been together for like 5 years i think and she really loves him. so it's not really my place to judge i think.

it's weird bc my london bestie was also considering getting married to her boyfriend bc he needed a visa. and a friend of mine from russia recently got married to a spanish guy she's known for like a year, and she had a small wedding so i guess it was also largely related to getting a visa asap.

it made me think about how some people have it so easy. they just go through life, not thinking that much. if they want to do something, they do it, without giving it a second thought. no justification or analysis is needed. oh you like someone? be with them! oh your boyfriend who's a good guy needs a visa? get married! it's that easy!

meanwhile im always analysing the pros and cons of everything, thinking of all the possible outcomes. and if i haven't justified my decision to a 100%, i feel like it's not valid. and then im unhappy bc i can't rationalise it all. and my friends are going with the flow, working office jobs and getting married. and i feel like they're gonna be happier in the longterm and im gonna be the loser who still hasn't figured it out while everyone's moving on with their lives.

why do some people have such an easy approach to life? would i have been happier with B if i thought less? maybe my father was right and it's not that deep. he's good looking and he loves me. what more is there to ask for? nobody is perfect so i should just suck it up and be normal like everyone else. go about my life, do things that everyone else does, not think about anything. but i just struggle with everything i do and can't figure out how to live like a normal person.

i told my stepdad about my concerns and he said that the way i approach life is better than that of my friends. bc spontaneously getting married at 23 like my manchester bestie is stupid bc marriage has huge consequences on the rest of your life. and settling for an office job and not getting a masters like my london bestie is stupid bc the job market is competitive and she might find herself behind everyone else without an extra degree. we're all stupid in our twenties and it's better to think twice now than to find yourself in a shitty situation when you're older. right..?

but idk i just wish i could take things more lightly. im so scared that everyone's gonna be happy with their spontaneous decisions and im gonna miss out on things bc i analyse things too much. i hope that it all goes well for my manchester bestie and the guy isn't just using her for her documents. and if all is well, she's probably gonna have kids when she's done with her phd and live a normal married life just like her parents. and she'll be happy and not think about anything and everything. and she'll continue going about her life and not ask herself weird pseudo-philosophical questions. i think that's what true happiness is.

and im here like an idiot, dreaming about B every night. and trying to figure out why i left him and why i was with him in the first place. and it's all so complicated and weird. and maybe i should've stayed with him and figured things out. and maybe our relationship was actually a good one and im never gonna find anyone better. why leave someone if he's a good match for you? maybe B was a good match for me. and i missed my chance to be happy.

anyway, im gonna message my manchester bestie and tell her to think twice.

[dietmumrepeat]

𝐷𝐴𝑌 90 𝐻𝐴𝑃𝑃𝑌 𝑁𝐸𝑊 𝑌𝐸𝐴𝑅.. When I turned 40 I said to my husband - I need this to be the year I give up wine… Wine is my absolute love. I drink it when Im happy, I drink if I’m sad. I drink it when I’m stressed, or if the day has been bad… But the wine witch had kind of taken over and there was never a night without wine. It was 💯 my outlet, and I would look forward to wine o’clock daily. And yes, it felt great taking that sip of an ice cold Chardonnay or a deep Merlot.. But I knew I was too dependant on it, it wasn’t making me feel my best. My sleep was terrible. I had the classic ‘wine belly’ I would lay awake every day at 3am worrying, thinking about anything and everything, and being constantly tired and worn out. My skin was looking dull, my eyes had no glow and I was generally feeling so down about myself- my health- and my weight. And today I hit day 90 without a single sip of alcohol (I still can’t quite believe it!) It’s not been easy, especially over my birthday/ Christmas/ day to day (!) but it’s definitely getting easier. And rather than spending hours thinking about wine; how I drink too much; how I need it… I rarely think it about it at all now. I still miss my friend Miss Pinot Grigio 𝐵𝑈𝑇 I do not miss how she made me feel. I’ve lost over a stone in weight (got another few to go but not putting any pressure on myself) I would love to be at my healthy happy weight by Summer this year and I honestly feel sooooo much happier and healthier! If you are sober curious and thinking of giving it a break- go for it! I promise you won’t regret it ♥️ 𝒜𝓂𝓎 𝓍𝓍 (at 𝖣𝖨𝖤𝖳 𝖬𝖴𝖬 𝖱𝖤𝖯𝖤𝖠𝖳) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm4so8yrIhr/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[alflys4life]

Christmas 2022 ( 28th) - 6am

If you would have asked me few months ago how I would want my Christmas to be like , I wouldn’t have imagined that it’s all gone happen the way it just did . 

It would be amazing for you to know that in the past year I never had a thought of wanting to have someone , even less to date someone . I just couldn’t help myself not seeing , feeling ,taking all the fakeness and bad behaviour from people .It was hard to open up , even when I tried to have positive vibes , thoughts , peace in my heart and soul .  I tried , tried and tried several times to stay well , not to lose myself again as I know this will lead me only to pain and sorrow , which is normal ... I get it , I got it... when less expected , but every time I recovered . I am just a human , I cry , I laugh , I feel , and I miss and I live fully every day but there is this thing inside of me that I cannot explain in words when it comes to difficult times . Like the universe is making a hard splash inside my soul after life hitting me in certain ways . And this splash wakes me up every time and lifts me up again , where I should be , mentally and emotionally . Oh God , and that feeling is great . Can’t compare it to anything . I will be forever grateful for that .  I had to stand up and fight for myself many times because I  know I’ve got so much love to give so there is no point in all those things . Life is short , there’s no time to be stuck in a certain condition / emotion / bad/strange experience . Live your life , your everyday like it’s your last one .  

What else can prove that Im human if not a bit of “hypocracy “ ? So after trying so hard to stay on the line , I  can only say that somehow ... deep inside my soul I knew and I felt that I want and I need someone , a right one , T H E  R I G H T  O N E when the right time comes . Ofcourse I wasn’t searching for  H E R . I felt that tiredness drowned me too much to make an effort for people that come and go in your life . Life taught me that people come in your life for a reason , but we forget that if that’s not a blessing , it’s a lesson ... for you to discover it  , learn it and grow bigger along your journey . All about that ... 

I couldn’t afford to attach , even though that’s all I want , when my soul tells me to go fullhouse , I let it fly like a bird , no matter the consequences . I know , I’m stupid right ? I guess we’re all just different souls and that’s ok . We still have lots of things in common but I might talk about this another time . 

To get back to “ H E R “  , I remember more what my soul tells me about how it happened , rather than having the flashback of it all in my mind . 

I met H E R when less expected , and that makes me fell even happier and grateful . 

Fast forwarding 1 month and 11 days ( the beginning of us 17th of November )  

Smiles are thrown on our faces more and more day by day . God , I can’t even explain how much my soul opens when I see that beautiful smile on your face . Are you heaven ? Cuz I want to have a home in that smile of yours then ... 

Calls over calls , facetiming became our drug , just like we felt when we first had that long staring at each other , slowly falling in our first kiss which was the best thing . I feel like it needed to connect us , from the very beginning .  

Little time spent together was not our problem , we needed to enjoy it fully when time was on our side so we managed by doing our best , I believe . Dates were about to happen , intense nights , filled with pure , infinite love were happening more and more often , when we thought it can be completely impossible . Guess what ? Love doesn’t ask you when you want to feel it . It just lets you taste it and grow along with it . It’s part of the team work . 

Our tears of joy made me realise she is about to stay . There is no way in heaven she doesn’t feel it . It has to be , it has to be ... we both feel it on a high level . The power was intense , when we touched kissed and made love . the room was flying on a cloud , just like from another universe . 

Christmas 25th was about to come and our plans were made in advance which gave me goosebumps way before it . Funny thing is , love is always there and if its natural , you will find a way to follow it even when you less expect a thing to happen , just because some people would call it small . 

So this our small thing happened on the 24th just few hours after midnight when I came from work , took the quickest shower in my life and ran to see her at the club as she was out with a friend . I couldn’t deny my heart and eyes not wanting to feel her , see her , even if it would be 10 minutes . We had an amazing night , ending up at my place and made love just like we always do . We could feel our bodies shaking everytime it happened , the bond was already made ... from that first staring in the eyes . Remember ? Early in the morning , in a low lighted hotel room which I ended up realising it was actually high in light , from your glowing eyes . God ... how much I love those eyes . 

As planned , we had a beautiful time together the next day aswell . Sharing gifts was our breaking point as well as I couldn’t hold myself not having tears after seeing how happy you are . We were taken by surprise , spontaneously ending up at your place where something unique happened ... So she prepared a warm bath for us as it was late and we were ready to go to sleep because she had to rest for her flight . I only remember we went deep into emotions while having this bath . 

We touched softly , our skin felt like its burning of fire ... but a warm ... harmless fire , the one that only love can give you . I could feel my body floating like a calm ocean that gives you peace everytime I touch her lips . Our bodys connected together with our souls just like never before .  I barely understand what happened there ... I just know that was love , our little , but big love that is about to find out that it can grow bigger . So that’s my plan for the next year ...

Im glad I have chosen to keep you and that thought of keeping you was not meant or said in vain . It all makes sense now babe . The vibes will never lie . Atleast not the real ones. 

You are no doubt the greatest thing that had happened to me this year , these years , you know what ? Fuck it , Im not gonna hide and say it : You are the greatest thing that ever happened to me and I want to lift you / us even higher . 

You were my Christmas but now you are turning into my next year , my future hopefully . Girl , I miss you so much , wherever you are .

I feel blessed and grateful for meeting you

I started this as a story and ended up having it as a letter for you

Infinite love baby 

Yours , 

Alan 

[fika-wika]

IDK..God

Everyone says you decide, You have the choice.

But How do you decide on what choice is right when you question something about each choice. When you don’t know what choice would make you happier. Or don’t know which choice is the RIGHT choice for you? Then they say there is no “right choice”

Well I dont agree, because the wrong choice will ultimately leave you feeling unfulfilled. Yes, you’ll learn from it and have or make the opportunity to change your mind and go in another direction.

Honestly..Right now I just feel internally stuck. My whole life has felt like one big bolder trying to fit into a hole that’s too small. It just sits there knowing it can’t fit in and can’t pull itself back out. Just stuck. With no clear instructions on how to get out or fix it’s issue.

Its this feeling that makes me just want to sit back, get high, work a 9-5 and be there for my family. Just conform to the rest of society, simply because I don’t feel like there’s a way out for me. Or I simply don’t have the right foundational Mindset or Motivations to make anything of myself that’s bigger than just this…even tho deep down I feel something so much bigger within me that’s suppose to come out but it can’t find its way. Or the world won’t allow it to Be just yet. Idk So I lay back and conform…knowing im satisfied but unfulfilled doing so.

If there is a direction then show me God. Make it so clear to me that I can’t unsee or turn away from it ever again. Teach me what it takes to become more than the sums that made me…Amen

Or whatever Idk.

[flwrkisses]

how txt would comfort their partner who is having a stress induced anxiety attack

hi guysss!! i know i said i would be posting more and then you guys got crickets but uh... so im trying to work on some longer pieces of writing in between the holidays and it has made it self to be impossible!

request: 'Can I request a TXT reaction where their partner has a tantrum temper because school/work puts a lot of pressure on them?'

genre: some angst, fluff, established relationship.

warning: anxiety looks different on everyone, so my  description of anxiety might not mirror your exact experience with anxiety and thats ok!

✧*:･ﾟyeonjun

he would notice something was going on, despite how much you wanted to hide the fact that you were hurting inside. the amount of work on top of school had been reaching your breaking point and you wanted to get through this semester without worrying him.

problem is yeonjun knows you almost as well as you know yourself. so he'd of course ask you about how you feel and how things are going which  surprisingly was enough to set you off.

if he's being honest, he got scared at first. he felt terrible for making you break down and cry but he'd wrap his arms around you, letting you feel out everything you need to while letting you know you're still there.

as much as yeonjun loves to talk, at this very moment it was all about you and only you. he would listen and nod along with what you were saying to show you he was listening.

after you let it all out he asked you to breath with him, to help he'd hold you to his chest so you could feel the deep breathing pattern along your back, allowing you to mimic them to calm down.

"it's alright baby, i hear you and i know it's rough but, i'm so proud of you for getting through it one step at a time okay? lets just focus on your next step, it's not time to worry about the bigger picture just yet okay? it'll all end up coming together."

✧*:･ﾟsoobin

your boyfriend came home way happier than usual, which wasn't a bad thing! but, for the first time in a long time he was up and you were down so his hyper spirt overwhelmed you greatly as soon as he got home.

as soon as he noticed you weren't smiling he would stop acting goofy and sit with you. it wasn't often that he came home so hype so seeing him shut off automatically added guilt to the top of your mountain of emotions.

you completely broke down in front of him, muttering self deprecating words to yourself and tugging at your hair a bit hard. he looked worried, he didn't know what to do. you've never had an attack like this but he did realize it was one.

he quickly would grab you and pull you to him, squeezing you hard since he read online that physical touch and being squeezed can help endorphins reach the brain causing people to calm down. which was exactly what would happen in your case.

he would hold you without saying anything and squeeze you tight until you no longer were gasping for air and your breathing regulated. soobin wouldn't talk throughout the whole thing, he would simply just let you calm down and waited until you chose to talk to him.

"i know it's rough, trust me it happens to me all the time.. it's not fair, you do so much and i know you think there isnt any meaning behind any of it.. but everything will pay itself off in the end okay?"

as much as beomgyu liked to talk he just kinda held you until you were ready to talk. his physical touch just kinda reminded you that he was there keeping you from mentally spiraling. it was almost as if he sensed he needed to come home to you and arrived at the perfect time.

as much as beomgyu liked to talk he just kinda held you until you were ready to talk. his physical touch just kinda reminded you that he was there keeping you from mentally spiraling. it was almost as if he sensed he needed to come home to you and arrived at the perfect time.

as much as beomgyu liked to talk he just kinda held you until you were ready to talk. his physical touch just kinda reminded you that he was there keeping you from mentally spiraling. it was almost as if he sensed he needed to come home to you and arrived at the perfect time.

he would extend his hand in front of yours and wait for you to tap in. physical touch was something he knew was important, so "tapping in" was an important practice you both did. 3 taps on the other's palm, 3 taps on the other's arm, 3 taps on the shoulder. he read online it helps.

once you went through all sets of tapping he'd smile softly and ask you "what's wrong?" and give you pouty kisses as you spoke. serious gyu is very tender and loving.

after a while you both just kinda stare at each other in silence to which he breaks out into a goofy smile and laughs once you start laughing at the realization that you guys are just sitting there looking at each other.

"baby i know it's hard... i wish all your worries could just fly away but it's not as easy. let me help okay? you don't have to do this on your own alright?"

✧*:･ﾟtaehyun

bringing food home, taehyun was excited to finally have an afternoon off to be with you. he would usually cook but tonight he wanted to treat you both to something a bit more different. but, when he saw you sitting in your shared bed sniffling at the window he knew something was wrong.

taehyun's main priority is making you feel comfortable and bringing you back to a slightly better mental space. and he does so by sitting you up straight against the headboard of the bed, sitting in front of you and doing breathing exercises.

he'd hold your hand in his and gently caress it, letting you calm down on your own count. he thinks it's important to feel your emotions which is why he doesn't completely try to pull you back up with giggles and smiles. it also didn't work for you.

once you were ready to breath with him he would do breathing exercises, he would look you in the eye and smile softly knowing that you're slowly calming down.

the rest of the night was spent in his arms, he wouldn't leave you alone knowing that you could fall into another panic attack. he fed you, cuddled you, talked to you and just treated you so gently after.

"i wont leave you baby, i know it's hard... and it's okay to be overwhelmed. i got you okay?"

✧*:･ﾟhueningkai

kai walked out of the bathroom after taking a shower and was ready to jump on you to cuddle when he noticed your jagged breathing and frozen state. it worried him, but he knew exactly what it was.

he would pull you up to him and look at you, usually at this time your boyfriend would also go quiet since he usually gets quiet when he gets serious and do nothing but hold you. tucking his head into your back so you can feel him around you.

after calming you down just a bit he would play a short game with you, one to ease your anxiety. he'd whisper something that he can see so you can respond with something else that you see.

in between words he'd place gentle kisses on your skin because this big love baby is gentle like that.

he plays the eye-spy game with you until he can feel you losen up on him. he lets go a bit so you guys can talk about it a bit more now that you've got both feet on the floor

"no it's okay, we all get stressed out! you're okay. i can always help if your workload is too much alright?"

❁ requests are currently closed! ⤞ i am working on your beautiful requests !

for more of my work: masterlist.

[starbuckie]

𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠

pairing(s): college!peter parker x reader, dark!steve rogers x reader, dark!sam wilson x reader, dark!bucky barnes x reader

words: 8.1k words

warnings: DARK!FIC, SMUT 18+ (unprotected sex, foursome turned fivesome, gangbang, non-con/dub-con, daddy kink, oral M and F-receiving, spit kink, degredation kink, praise kink, creampie), age-gap (reader is in her early 20s), cheating, angst, there’s like zero fluff

summary: peter should’ve made it back to the tower for date night on time, or maybe just before he found his girlfriend being fucked by three other superheroes.

a/n: eee my first dark fic! im so so happy with the way this turned out, and even though it was a pain in my ass for nearly three months, im so hapy to share it with y’all. this idea was brought up by an anon from @mypoisonedvine’s saturday sleepover a few months back, but i switched up tony and sam bc i didn’t like the tony and peter stuff. hopefully my smut has improved from the first time i wrote it in january, and just a reminder that in no way, shape, or form do i condone rape of any kind. there’s a large difference from the page and the real world. i try to put all tw’s in the tags and warnings, but if there was something i missed please tell me. thank you to my lovely bestie @mermaidxatxheart for beta-reading(i have no fucking clue what i’d do without your help). feel free to leave a comment or two and reblog, but don’t repost anywhere or i will hunt down your ass. thank you again and please please enjoy <3

main masterlist || mcu masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist

Bucky wasn’t planning to fuck Y/N as soon as he saw her.

It started with a faint mention, something Tony had thrown around along the lines of, “Parker’s bringing his girl down here tomorrow, don’t be an asshole”. He didn’t give a damn what Tony said or how he acted around Peter’s girl. Years of being thrown between gruesome mind-wiping and being half-dead, asleep in a freezer would do that to a man.

So the next day when Peter brought his girlfriend in, he was scratching his ass like a fucking ape and downing a beer with a messy bun at the nape of his neck, until he actually saw her. Neat hair, even neater laces with a sweet smile but a body that could kill. Didn’t matter that she was bundled under Parker’s hoodie and a pair of jeans- he could always admire a pretty dame, but Bucky could see that she was beyond that. It was as if God had intentionally made the one being, the one ethereal creature beautiful and angelic enough to be a sin away from him, so that he couldn’t touch her. Because she was young, and in her twenties, and that shouldn’t have even been the first two things that popped up in his mind because she was also Peter’s girlfriend.

But then she had the audacity to stick her hand out, a shy grin and twinkle in her eyes as she gave her name. It sounded so pretty rolling off of her tongue, and he wondered what it would sound like while he groaned it into her cunt.

Y/N. 

So, yeah, maybe Bucky wasn’t planning to fuck her as soon as he met her, but it was pretty damn close after.

-

Steve Rogers was one of very few men who said they had the pleasure of banging nearly every woman on the north side of Manhattan. Bucky indulged in the fact that the man who had once been too shy to do so much as meet a gal’s gaze was now “a dollar whore”, but he was more than happy to keep that title if it meant he could continue to get off in the nearest woman’s mouth everyday. 

Every time he walked down the streets of New York with just a simple ball cap and jeans, he could feel stares on his back from what seemed like miles away, girls on every street corner just waiting for him to take her into the nearest public bathroom and fuck them dirty. CEOs, baristas, girls fresh out of getting master’s degrees with stars in their eyes and big dreams, until he shattered them by making them gag on his cock and scream his name into bedsheets. Or tile floors. He didn’t care as long as they were screaming. The girls of this century were just too delectable to turn down. He didn’t discriminate. His dick had been in women of every height, stature, hair color, and he had quite the variety throwing themselves at him as well.

And then Tony ruined it all and sat him down with a simple explanation that the image of Captain America was being tainted with disturbing stories of girls being fucked in the ass and thrown on their knees in dirty bathroom stalls. The blond was beyond pissed when the billionaire told him to stop dicking around, but he couldn’t do anything else if he wanted to keep his title and job. In a new century, even if he’d had a few years to adjust, he was still absolutely oblivious when it came to anything outside of aliens and sex. There was nothing left for him outside of being an Avenger, so reluctantly he agreed to keep his number of conquests to a minimum, and most definitely inside of the tower rather than out on the street.

However, inside of the tower seemed to be no problem at all when Peter brought his girlfriend over, all smiles and straight A’s, and that’s when Steve realized that he’d yet to fuck a bright, little college student. He could see himself stripping her from the innocence in her eyes, loosening up her pussy with his thick cock against the wall in his room.

Surely Tony couldn’t reprimand him for spending a little time trying to bond with Peter’s new girl, right?

-

Sam Wilson was a simple man. He had a job, a well-paid one at that, somewhere to live, a girlfriend, or a woman to keep him company, that’s for sure- but for once in his life he was seeking out something other than missions, something that would keep him busy when he was feeling bored, something like-

Pleasure, and he knew that he’d finally found what he was looking for the moment Peter brought his girlfriend through the elevator doors on the fifty-sixth level of the Avengers tower. She’d shaken his hand so daintily and spoke so politely that if he were to see her without any backstory, he’d think she was another innocent, dim-witted college student, breaking her bank account every Saturday morning and naively believing that her relationship would last longer than a few months. But by the things Parker had told him, she was much more than that.

Was it shitty of Peter to tell his teammates, the people he worked with, how Y/N was in bed? By the majority’s vote, probably, and by Sam’s strict conduct of his own morals, definitely, but when Peter’s girl looked like that and he was so incredibly bored with his routine? 

Well, fuck, Sam had never been happier that the Spider-kid had told everyone how his girl gave head.

Peter brought his girlfriend in daily after that, and every one of her visits, she grew less shy and more friendly, and the Falcon saw each of his friends gape at her growing comfortability with a wolfish demeanor. It started with the water incident with Steve in the kitchen, where he so clearly spilled water on her already thin, white camisole with intention. Sam couldn’t say he was upset though, after all Steve had offered him and the rest of the Avengers quite a show when he tried to clean up her shirt, taking his sweet, sweet time to fondle her tits as subtly as he could, his eyes staring at her pebbled nipples poking through the material. He could see Bucky hiding his boner under his cereal bowl on the couch that day. 

Then of course, he’d been no better than America’s sweetheart himself when he greeted Y/N with a hug that in hindsight, was a little too enthusiastic. His large hands squeezed into the pockets of her back pocket, and if the college student found anything weird with it, she didn’t say so, but Sam graciously palmed the round globes of her ass in his hands, feeling the muscle clench under his fingers. Oh, how he’d never hugged someone that tight ever before in his life. Maybe he would’ve gotten a bit further than squeezing her ass had it not been for his own girlfriend standing behind him, ready to introduce herself to Y/N.

Bucky, well, Sam could admit that Bucky had the most guts out of all of them. Though the super-soldier was normally well-reserved and polite, the dark glint in his eyes the day he met Y/N let him in on the secret that he had a much dirtier mind than most thought. It had been movie night that time, and he barely even tried to cover up how much he wanted the girl, his hands resting all over her as they watched Inception. Hardly a movie to get so riled up over, yet Bucky’s hand still inched its way up her thigh, his rough fingers gently carressing the flesh until they started to lightly trace the apex of her thighs. 

If she noticed anything then, she didn’t comment on it, doe-like eyes just marvelling at the screen in great intrigue. It was only when Peter’s arms wrapped around her a bit tighter did she scooch away from Bucky’s touch, with a small apology and shy grin. 

That only made his dick harder.

On the other side of Bucky, his super-soldier counterpart tapped his knee gently, forcing their blue eyes to meet each other. No words had to be said between the two, three men when they looked over to Sam, because they all recognized that look they saw in each other's eyes; predatory, dark, nearly voracious in the way they all wanted to be balls deep inside of Y/N.

And they would get there. No matter how long it took, they knew that the ultimate prize of tearing their prey apart would be more than worth the wait.

-

“Hey, babe, I’m gonna be a little late. Ned and I got stuck back in the lab, so we’re gonna need to stay until eight or nine. Can you make it to the tower by yourself alright?”

Peter’s concerned voice made Y/N smile gently as she trudged along the rainy streets of New York. He always loved to worry about her, especially when it was dark and gloomy out, but she could handle herself pretty okay. By pretty okay, of course meant she could kick ass like no other twenty-something year-old, but she wasn’t one to brag. Y/N readjusted the Kate Spade purse on her shoulder with her right hand, attempting to keep her umbrella over her head with the other. “I’ll be fine, Pete, just go finish up and get back to me. I’m gonna be waiting in your room at the tower before you go off on that mission this weekend.”

A small sigh came through the speaker, “Okay, I’ll try to get back to you soon. I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Pete.” 

“Oh,” she could hear the shy but no less mischievous smile that was taking over his face, “I left you a little present on the bed, make sure you open it before I get back.”

Y/N’s face heated at the implication. “Peter Parker, you dirty little-” He ended the call with a laugh, and she huffed out a small chuckle at his childish antics.

The walk to the Avengers tower would have been nice, had it not been for the downfall of rain, making everything mushy, socks being absolutely soaked through her sneakers by the time she arrived. The receptionist at the front desk, Jenny, if Y/N remembered correctly, stared at her a little oddly, probably not expecting to see the young college girl in such a state of disorder, but it didn’t affect her at all. She confidently strutted up to the elevator, pressing in the floor number where all the rooms were located. Y/N scrolled through her Twitter feed on her phone while classic rock blared through the elevator with the constant shuffling of people moving in and out. Seven minutes and thirty-two seconds later she was sprinting down the halls with soggy shoes and damp hair, her cold body screaming for warmth.

Peter’s room was the farthest down the hall, and the room was fairly empty. He rarely stayed at his room in the tower, preferring to stay with his Aunt May or keep Y/N company in Brooklyn. When she entered the room, she saw a plain white shirt and a pair of socks strewn upon the carpeted floor, but what really caught her eye was the red box wrapped in a pink bow on the bed. Deciding it would add more suspense if she opened it later, she quickly hopped in the shower, letting the hot water warm her freezing, rigid muscles under the spray. 

Peter didn’t have all the products she’d usually use before she knew they were going to have sex, so she had to make do with the half-used bar of Irish Spring and his small travel-sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner, promising the fresh, breezy smell of citrus and mint. It was a quick process; two squeezes of shampoo, shaving with the green soap as best as she could without cutting herself, one squeeze of conditioner. A fuzzy towel sat waiting for Y/N on the rack, with the Spiderman symbol as a prank gift from her to her lovely boyfriend, and without a second to let the heat leave her damp skin, she wrapped herself in it, quickly hopping out to the bedroom again.

The lingerie she set out on the bed was a deep set burgundy color, with lace decorating the delicate corset and the trim of the satin panties. The packaging really did not do it justice. Y/N grinned at the new set, one that she knew would happily be torn from her body later. A shiver ran through her as she let the cold air fall over her skin, carefully slipping the lingerie on. It was a damn shame, really; the set was quite nice, and she reminded herself to buy more of the nicely suiting color for their nights together. 

Click.

Y/N’s heart thumped with anticipation as she heard the door open and she took a quick moment to ready herself. Hair in perfect style, legs stretched along the length of the bed to make herself look as seductive as possible, a small smirk thrown on her pouty lips.

But in the darkened room, it wasn’t Peter’s shadow that appeared. Three men, three tall, bulkier men’s shadows appeared at the foot of the bed, and horror washed over her as she realized who they were. “Goddamn, dolly, I’ve imagined what you would’ve looked like under those sweaters, but this is much sweeter than I expected.”

The sinister face of Bucky Barnes came into her view, just a sliver of moonlight lighting up his pale skin. His eyes raked over Y/N’s uncovered skin, and goosebumps appeared as she tried to cover herself up under his predatory gaze.

“W-what are you doing here?” She whispered worriedly. Sam and Steve flanked the bed on either side of her, plastered sickly sweet smiles on their faces, providing her with a false sense of security that made her heart scream in fear. Though she wasn't making any noise, her lungs felt like they were going to give out, her throat closing up like an allergic reaction. 

Her head whipped every which way in robotic movement, her brain seeming to fail her as she scanned the room for an exit. Several moments of shortened breaths, cold air chilling her body, before she came out of her freezing shock to realization.

“Why are you here? Please, get out, just g-get out!”

A calloused hand pushed away Y/N’s left arm that covered her tits, and Steve groaned at the sight of her pebbled nipples. “God, baby, they’re as pretty as I thought they’d be. Been trying to feel them up all week, but you knew that, didn’t you?”

Saturday the week before at lunch when he’d spilled water over chest and tried to clean her up. Sam’s friendly hug that became a bit less friendly when his hands slipped into the back pockets of her jeans. The movie night on Monday when Bucky’s hand caressed her thigh a little too close to her core. All of their touches began to make more sense, and her eyes filled with tears at the realization. 

“Please,” she begged, tears blocking her vision, “I promise I won’t tell anyone, not even Pete, but please just go.”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Steve asked. He grasped her chin roughly, his face close enough to hers so that she could feel his fiery breath on her lips. “We’re not leaving, sweetheart. You’re gonna let all three of us play with your pretty little body, and you’re gonna make the prettiest sounds for us, alright?”

Y/N shook her head violently, too afraid to make noise, but also bold enough to make one last attempt at freedom. The hand that held her chin quickly moved to slap her cheek, and she hated the way the sting made heat stir in her lower belly. She tried to shy away from their touch again, but Bucky’s face simply held the same smirk as he trailed his vibranium fingers up and down her leg. 

“Oh, come on, Y/N, don’t act all shy now. Peter has been telling us how good you’ve been to him and don’t think he hasn’t told us about your little childhood crush on little ol’ me. Been wanting to fuck you ever since.” Bucky’s hand quickly left her body, instead moving to palm over the bulge in his pants. “Fuck, sweetheart, got me real hard just thinking ‘bout your pussy swallowing my cock. Bet you’re gonna be a sweet, obedient girl for me, right?”

Fire started to course through Y/N’s veins, and with all the power she tried to dampen it down with, it seemed to push through her body that much more dangerously. She despised the fact that she could feel herself growing wet for the three older men, but God, she had never felt the need to be filled up as badly as she did in that moment.

“You’re a bit of a slut, don’t you think?” Sam mocked. He kneeled on her right, his eyes fixated on her panty-clad pussy, a wet patch already forming on the soft satin. It really didn’t help that three of her teen celebrity crushes were eyeing her nearly naked body like a piece of meat. “I mean, look at you, already growing wet and needy for three cocks. Is that what you want, honey? Parker not treating you good enough?”

She hesitated. Goosebumps rose across her skin at the sinister tone of his voice, like he already knew it was true. And it was true and she hated that Sam was right, but as amazing as Peter was a boyfriend, it was clear from the vibrator hiding in his apartment’s bathroom that he was not amazing in the sheets. Every time, she held hope that it would be better, that she would finally get to stop faking an orgasm before he rolled out of the bed with a filled up condom, but she knew deep down inside of her that it wasn’t happening anytime soon. Y/N forced herself to nod weakly at Sam’s questions, and Bucky chuckled. “Oh, you poor dolly, we’re gonna have so much fun with you. Treat you better than that little boy ever could.”

All it took was a whimper, a nearly audible, deadly silent whimper that managed to squeak its way past Y/N’s throat, and the three men took it as permission to ravage her body however they pleased.

Steve made quick work of his pants as Sam lifted her chin to kiss him, his tongue hot and heavy against her mouth, coaxing her lips open. The sound of belt buckles hitting the floor shamefully turned on Y/N even more. Panic coursed through her senses, her mind wanting to scream for them to stop, but her body knew her too well as she felt a wave of slick run down her thighs. Cold metal digits slipped under the waistband of her panties, moving to her wet folds, and she whimpered into Sam’s mouth at the touch. 

“You look so nice, baby, so pretty all laid out for us like this.” Bucky’s hands pulled down her panties as Steve pinched her peaked nipple through the lace, laying lavish, open-mouthed kisses down her torso. The cool air hit her pussy when Bucky’s hands pulled her legs wide open, fully exposed to the three men ready to use her against her will. “Knew you’d be so wet for us, sweetheart, just look at you. Dripping all for your daddies,” Steve murmured against her skin.

Hot breath fanned over her cunt before they rolled her over on her stomach, someone’s hands forcing her up onto her knees with her face smashed into the cotton pillows. She could feel two rough human hands pulling her ass cheeks apart, spreading her ever wider for their view. “Would you look at that, boys, look how fucking hot she is for us.”

Sam’s thick finger ran through her folds, the calloused pad of his finger just teasing her clit before landing a harsh smack to the inside of her thigh. Her moan was muffled through the mattress and she prayed they wouldn’t hear how being treated like whore made her wet like nothing else. 

Hot slick dripped down her thighs, a pool of it staining the pristine sheets by each knee. It was quite a sight, Steve, kneeled by the bed as his face hovered next to her ear, whispering filthy things into her ear as Bucky stroked his hard, leaking cock right next to him. Sam’s lips were making their way up the inside of her right thigh, cracked skin gliding across her sticky flesh. “Oh, baby,” he purred, “you smell so good. Bet you taste even better, don’t you, little girl?”

His tongue reached the apex of her thighs, finally licking a stipe up her center with no warning. Y/N sobbed into the comforter below her, mascara stained tears marking up her face. Two fingers edged their way between the bed and her face, forcing her head upwards and arching her back. Steve’s face was caught in a dirty smirk above hers, lip pulled taut between his teeth, until he saw the tears trailing down her face. “Oh, sweetheart, you look so desperate like this.” His fingers traced her smeared lip gloss around her lips, before opening her lips harshly. “Open up, you dumb baby.”

Y/N forced her jaw open wider, just enough to watch a string of Steve’s saliva drip into her mouth. The thick spit pooled on her tongue and she tried hard not to grimace in front of him, in hopes that he wouldn’t make her- 

“Swallow it, sweetheart.” He saw the hesitation in her eyes, how her lower lip trembled at his words, but he just laughed at her. “Now.”

The warm saliva slid down her tongue and more black tears ran down her face as she obliged his orders, finally gulping it and cringing at the taste. Steve loved the way her face screwed up in displeasure, how she still had the audacity to pretend she hated what they were doing though she was moaning and whimpering with Sam’s tongue attacking her entrance.

“What do you want, sweetheart? We might give it to you as long as you use your words.” Bucky taunted lightly.

Y/N stared up at the brunette, staring menacingly down at her with his cock in hand. “Please,” she whimpered.

The three found it woeful, the way she could barely get a full sentence out as Sam went to town with his skilled tongue, but even with that onslaught, a simple please wasn’t enough for them.

“Please what, honey,” Sam moaned from between her legs, “you gotta use your big words or we’ll never know what you want from us.”

Steve and Bucky nodded in fake-agreement even though they all knew exactly what she wanted and where. 

“I don’t-” her widened eyes glanced into Steve’s, blown-out and teary. “I don’t want anything, not from you.” She lied through her teeth harshly.

Sam removed his head from between her thighs and Y/N immediately whined at the loss of contact almost hilariously. “You don’t want anything, little girl?” 

The air felt static, every hair on her neck rising in the pressured silence. The angel and the devil clawed at her heart, each trying to show her what was right. And she wanted to sin, God knew that she would love nothing more than to let that little greedy part of her take over, but she’d already cheated on Peter and that damn good part of her conscience stole the wheels of her brain.

Slowly and shamefully, she shook her head, though the downright dirty monster inside of her wanted the men to ignore her words and keep assaulting her body. 

“That’s a shame, baby, I thought we were having fun.” Sam sighed. He met Bucky’s gaze on the side, and though they seemed to be in resignation with her wishes, their eyes twinkled devilishly. He positioned his body over Y/N’s kneeled over form, his bare chest glued to her sweating back as his hands ran up the sides of her ribcage and to her front, just barely grazing over her sensitive nipples. “You mean, you don’t want me to touch you here?”

He pinched the darkened buds and she had to use every ounce of self-restraint to not collapse at the sensation. His calloused hands moved back even further, tracing down to the stretch of skin just above her mound, swiping a finger across the skin delicately. “How about here? Or even,” he brought three fingers around her body, over her ass, and into her glistening cunt again, just rubbing along her entrance, not daring to go further in. Y/N couldn’t hold in her reaction to his prodding anymore, his teasing chipping away all of her dignity and pride in a few simple touches. 

“Yes, please, please, use your fingers,” she blurted against her will. Where shame should have washed over her, there was only lust, raging red and coursing through her body so forcefully that she felt braindead. “Put your fingers in me, daddy, please.”

The pet name rolled off of her tongue so easily and she was barely ashamed of how it made her feel. The name especially shocked the three men, who smiled even wider with their cocks harder than before at the little slip up. “That was all you had to say, dolly, gonna have your daddies make you feel real good,” Bucky laughed.

Sam finally plunged his thick fingers knuckle-deep into her cunt as Steve’s mouth captured hers, effectively swallowing her scream with ferocity. The long digits scissored and swirled inside of her, pressing against new unexplored areas that she’d never even gotten to with her own fingers. White dots danced along the front line of her vision as teeth clashed against hers and though it’d been mere minutes she already knew she was close and the men did as well.

“I can feel you clamping around my fingers, honey,” Sam taunted. His lips were moving sinfully around her ass, planting sloppy kisses and drooling all over her skin while he fingered her deep. “Are you gonna come soon, baby?”

“Yes, daddy, I’m so- fuck,” Y/N panted into Steve’s mouth, “m’ so c-close.” The blond bit her tongue hard enough for her to taste blood and she yelped as she heard Sam and Bucky laugh. 

“Watch your language, dolly,” Bucky sneered from the side of the bed. His hand was rapidly moving around his cock, corkscrew motions edging him towards the brink of pleasure. 

“Little girls like you don’t get to use big swear words,” Sam’s face was still buried between her legs, his soaked fingers pulling out of her cunt only to rub at her little pearl of nerves in circles. His tongue still lapped at her dripping entrance and he could feel her tight hole start to pulse as her breathing picked up. “Oh, baby, you’re getting close, aren’t you?”

Y/N was hesitant to answer at first, the sweat on her body seeming to cool immediately in fear of what would happen if she messed up. But after five seconds Steve stopped kissing her, gripping her chin and staring into her eyes deeply. He looked as debauched as she felt, with his rosy lips swollen with spit and cheeks tinged with pink. “Are you gonna answer daddy, sweetheart?”

That knocked her into shape real fast.

“Yes, daddy, I’m so close. P-please let me come,” she whimpered. The whine in her voice pleased the two men, and Steve went back to exploring her mouth before she felt something poking against her asshole.

“Gonna let daddy put his cock in you, little girl?” Sam asked gently. His words had panic coursing through her system, a chilling realization like water being poured on her head and she began to wiggle around, trying to free Sam’s hand from her hip. Her arms weakly pushed at Steve’s chest, trying to push him as far away as he could, but the men only laughed at her flailing limbs. Y/N wanted to scream no to them, and despite her contrasting love-hate relationship with Sam’s fingers inside her cunt she knew it was time to go. It was laughable how much she would continue to say that to herself for the rest of the night. 

But Sam managed to sense her panic, knowing exactly what the issue was before harshly spanking her and effectively stopping her struggle. “Don’t worry, baby, I won’t come inside of you. I’m not risking knocking up a whore with my kids, I’ve got more dignity than that.”

He led the leaking tip of his dick down her crack, rubbing it along her slick entrance before pushing in with a groan. “Oh my fucking God, that is so hot.” Bucky admonished from the side. “Gotta get in on that soon.”

Steve chuckled against Y/N’s lips, pulling away with a strand of saliva connecting them. He adjusted himself up so his dick was centimeters from her face, a knee propped up on the bed for balance. “Gotta wait your turn, Buck, we all want a piece of her.” He noticed the way Y/N’s eyes were transfixed on his cock, the red mushroom head smeared with precome along the slit, nearly purplish veins standing out prominently on his shaft. Yeah, he couldn’t even deny that he was big because he already knew how many girls had dropped down on their knees for him. “Go ahead, sweetheart, open up those pretty lips for me.”

Almost too excitedly, she dropped her jaw, allowing him to slide his cock into the silky warmth of her mouth. As his hips started to thrust into her mouth, Sam’s started to do the same into her cunt. Both men moaned in tandem with their movements as Y/N’s worries faded away to the back of her mind as they stuffed her to the brim.

“You can come now, baby,” Sam nearly ordered, “go and cream on daddy’s cock- fuck, I know you’ve been waiting.”

It was a harsh bump of his head against her G-spot that sent her over the edge, walls clamping down with ferocity and milking him for all she was worth. Y/N reeled in the sunlight infested warmth that coursed through her body as she finally let go, whining around Steve’s dick as he continued to abuse her throat with long, deep thrusts. 

Bucky was still holding his orgasm off, fondling with his tight, heavy sac while his dick remained a painfully hard mess, glistening with precome. “I’m so glad I got to see you come, dolly, look so fucking pretty when you do.”

She couldn’t deny the little skip of her heart at the praise, just a few simple words that made her feel like a good little girl. But no, God-fucking no, she wasn’t supposed to let them make her feel this way. Guilt washed away that warmth in her chest just as quickly, knowing that her boyfriend was just waiting to come back to see her, finishing up his studies so that they could live their lives out together after college while she was getting her pussy and mouth absolutely wrecked by his co-workers. 

As soon as Y/N got her brain thinking straight again, Sam started moving inside of her again and she garbled out a strangled cry. “If you thought we were done here, baby,” Sam laughed, “you’ve got a lot left ahead of you.”

“We’re not leaving until all of us have come, brat.” Steve’s palm gripped the back of her skull roughly, pushing her head so far down on his dick that her nose was squished against his abdomen. “Greedy little bitch.”

Both men started to thrust into her again, and just like that she was back to being absolutely lost in desire and lust like the bitch in heat she was until there was a sudden shift in the air. So much that the sweat on her body began to cool her skin, Sam’s hands still gripping her hips so tightly she knew they’d leave marks that she would have to hide when she wore her favorite low-cut shorts. 

Bucky’s eyes seemed to drift from her tits moving with each movement of her hips, checking behind the door as if there were something lurking there, but she was too afraid to see for herself. If she stopped she would get spanked, and they’d probably prolong her second orgasm even further, and her pussy couldn’t handle any more subtle teasing.  

“Hey there, Parker, why don’t come on out here?”

But that, that was what made the hairs on Y/N’s neck rose, dread filling her to the fullest as she realized the implications of Sam’s words.

Peter had seen everything. Peter, her boyfriend, had seen three of his co-workers, three men who she barely knew, fuck her deep into his mattress. Peter, her boyfriend, had watched her get fucked into his mattress, without trying to stop them whatsoever.

She couldn’t tell if it was the guilt of cheating on her boyfriend or the freezing realization that he hadn’t done anything to stop the three men that hurt more. 

Yet Peter still walked from behind the door, dressed in a NYU hoodie and a pair of khakis slung low on his hips, just drawing attention to the sizable bulge that stretched out his zipper. His umber eyes, normally full of so much joy and love, were possessed by the same lust and darkness as the three men, as much as he tried to hide it behind a shyer facade. 

His eyes were trained on the tightness of how Y/N’s pussy was gripping Sam, her lips glossed over with come and spit wrapped around Steve’s dick. The girl stopped in her movements, her eyes no longer full of tears for just being gagged, but as soon as her mouth came to a halt around the base of his cock, the blond slapped her across the face. A sharp crack echoed around the room and though she couldn’t see him, she heard Bucky’s feral growl of pleasure at the whorish treatment she was receiving. 

“Didn’t say you could fucking stop, sweetheart, keep working on daddy’s cock.” No more words needed to be said as Steve gripped her hair once more, forcing himself farther back into her throat to the point where she couldn’t breathe. Sam’s thrusts were quickening, closer and closer to release as the sounds of the girl struggling to breath made his balls tighten. 

“Fucking shit, baby, you feel yourself squeezing my dick? I bet you like teasing daddy like that, don’t you?” One of his hands were brought down on her ass in a quick smack that resonated with Bucky, who was staving off his orgasm for something much sweeter than his hand. She was moaning raucously around the dick stuffed in her mouth, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure up every nerve in Steve’s body as he came with the tip of his dick nearly being swallowed by Y/N’s throat. There was barely any time for her to fully down the thick come in her mouth before Sam was threatening to orgasm. “I’m gonna come so soon but you better fucking not, little girl, you hear me? Gotta let your daddy come before you, you ungrateful little bitch- oh.”

It was a really fucking close call, Sam’s dick pulling out of her with one quick movement before spilling pearly ropes of come onto Y/N’s spine. A high whine escaped her mouth, clit throbbing as she was so, so close to coming, and she was too far into her crazed pleasure to realize that she was letting three older men, men who fought to defend the universe from evil, use her as an over-glorified fleshlight. 

She couldn’t really blame them for calling her a cockdrunk whore. 

Bucky sauntered over to the bed, eyes trained on the pool of come centered around the base of her spine before flipping her over onto her back with his large hands and shoving three vibranium fingers back into her hole. She gasped and held onto his forearm as he continued to fingerfuck her to her second orgasm, eyes screwed shut in a delirious haze of contentment for being filled with at least something again. 

“Bucky, Bucky, Bucky, please-” Steve slapped her along the face, correcting her words immediately. “Daddy, daddy, please let me come.”

Bucky chuckled, tweaking one of her nipples with his flesh hand as he hovered over her face. “I don’t know, dolly, you’ve been a little naughty, callin’ me the wrong name, not listening to Stevie’s orders- don’t think you deserve to get what you want.”

A muffled whimper escaped her swollen lips, and he sighed in surrender. “Okay, dollface, go ahead and come on my fingers. Let me see how you wet ‘em up real good.”

Y/N’s hips bucked into his metal digits with finality, come leaking out of her cunt and soaking the sheets below her. Her sweat-glazed skin shone even against the darkening sky, and all Bucky could do was chuckle at how her chest rose quickly as she tried to catch her breath. He thought about teasing her clit again, just circling around the little bud of nerves to get a rise out of her, but he decided against it. Sam probably had better plans for her anyway. 

On the other hand, Y/N’s orgasm was starting to wear off as she noticed the hardened stare from the edge of the room. Her boyfriend.

“Peter, I…” Y/N made eye contact with him, suddenly noticing how mousy he looked in his own bedroom. 

“I nearly forgot you were here, Parker,” Sam smirked darkly. “Why don’t you come over here and fuck your little whore. I’m feeling a little generous today.”

Steve and Bucky nodded with the same infuriating smugness as Sam. The brunette boy opened his mouth to object to the degrading statement, but when he met his girlfriend’s eyes nothing needed to be said. There was no escaping this. Nothing he said mattered to the three older men, because really they had already gotten everything they wanted right in front of their disgusting, perverted eyes. 

He unbuckled his belt, letting the weight of it drop his khakis to the floor. Maybe if he’d known he would be forced into join a fivesome later that night he’d have picked any other boxers but the Ducktales one, but no one seemed to say a word about them, rather focusing on what they were failing to conceal. 

Peter’s cock had always been admirable to Y/N by its length and God, definitely its thickness. Curved upwards towards his abdomen with a vein running along the left side up to the bulbous head, it was definitely more than average. It was really just a shame he didn’t know how to use it well enough.

His shirt was pulled over his head just as quickly, and if Y/N knew any better she would say that he was excited to get to fuck her in front of the three men. He placed himself in between Y/N’s parted legs, standing in the same position as he had so many times before.

But when Y/N cried out in pain and pleasure as he slid into her, Peter knew that this time, it was different. This time three men, men that he used to trust with his life, stood on either side of him and his girlfriend and jerked their hands up and down their cocks as they watched her get fucked relentlessly. It wasn’t sweet, it wasn’t romantic, but he couldn’t really think when his thick cock was stuffed inside of her stimulated pussy, juices and come leaking out of her abused sex. 

“Go faster, Parker,” Steve instructed, his face contorted in pure pleasure. The pace of Peter’s thrusts sped up, and he threw Y/N’s ankles over his shoulders, hitting deeper inside of her, with the sound of her sobs only turning them all on more. “Oh, right there, shit, shit, shit-”

Steve came first, a low groan escaping his lips as streams of come landed on her tits, still bouncing with every movement of Peter’s hips. 

“Open up,” Sam gritted through his teeth, and Y/N obediently opened her mouth to let his bitter come coat the inside of her throat, some of it landing on her face and neck. The string of curses he let out made Peter thrust even faster into her, and he hated, absolutely despised the way it turned him on to see the three men use his girlfriend to their pleasure. But soon enough a hand pushed against his chest away from Y/N and he reluctantly pulled out.

“Move aside, kid,” Bucky instructed, “Wanna come inside of her.”

As he lined his gigantic cock up with her entrance, her eyes widened with fear. “No, please, I didn’t take my pills, I can’t- I won’t, please not inside-”

“Shut the fuck up, you slut.” Bucky’s fingers came to slap her clit harshly, and she cried out in pain. “You’re gonna be quiet and let me come wherever I damn want, right?”

He punctuated his last word as he thrust inside her, filling her up to the hilt with his girth. She was too drunk on the feeling of her cunt being filled up to argue again. It was painful, extremely so, even though two different cocks had been inside her overstimulated pussy already and Bucky stretched her out wide, his cock thicker with veins to hit every pleasure point. With her legs tossed around his tapered torso, he slid out until his very tip was left in her, then slammed back in with a small moan. The head of his cock relentlessly pounded into her cervix in a nearly soundless tempo and all Y/N could hear were her own gasps of pleasure, jaw-dropping moans that made drool slide back down her throat in her laid down position.

She turned her head to the side, and though her vision was bleary through the tears, she could see Sam and Steve watching Bucky fuck her while Peter, her boyfriend, her sweet, sweet boyfriend, was caught up fucking his hand to the sound of Bucky’s balls slapping against her ass. 

“Fuck, ‘m not gonna last much longer, dollface.” Bucky gasped. “You gonna come soon? You’re gonna come for daddy one more time. I think you’ve got a third one in you, you little fucking slut.”

“Shit, shit, daddy, please ‘m almost there,” Y/N wailed absentmindedly. A thumb came down to circle her clit quickly and she felt the coil in her stomach grow tighter and tighter, until she finally let out a high whine, finding her release as Bucky’s cock pulsed inside of her, ready to come just as easily as her. Her pussy clenched around his cock as she rode out her orgasm, fingers grasping at the sheets in order to find some sort of grounding. His come painted her walls white, and Bucky could’ve sworn there was no better feeling than feeling his blood warm in every vein as he finally let go. With stunted groans, his hips slowed its rhythm, lost in watching how his cock disappear into Y/N’s pussy, her slick juices coating his dick each time he pulled out. 

“Ah, fuck, dolly, you did so good for me. Pussy tight as a fuckin’ vice.” Bucky hugged her limp body close to his sweaty chest, letting his dick soften inside of her for a good few moments before pulling out. He tossed Y/N back onto the bed below him, barely even caring to clean the come dripping down her ribcage and out of her cunt before grabbing his boxers from the cabinet next to the bed. 

Steve was already buttoning his jeans up, checking the notifications on his phone before shoving it back into his pocket. The blond seemed to have better things to do so soon after, rushing his way to the door before pausing where Y/N laid to watch come drip out of her pussy. One more time he pushed Bucky’s come inside of her abused entrance, watching as it oozed out from behind his digits. “Look at you, fucking full of of his come. Such a goddamn whore,” he muttered under his breath.

Those were the last words he said to her before patting Bucky on the shoulder and leading him out of the opened door. 

Maybe Sam was a bit more kind, or affectionate at least. He was already dressed but visibly hard again beneath the thick denim of his pants, and he made sure Y/N knew it, taking her left hand and placing it over his dick. “You still got that effect on me, honey, even when you’re all fucked out like this.” He dragged his fingers through the thick ribbons of come that coated her chest, bringing them up to her mouth so she could taste. Even though she was more than exhausted, she wrapped her tongue around the two fingers that were pushed past her swollen lips, sucking them clean with a tired vengeance. Satisfied with her work, he kissed her chin one more time before leaving without so much as another word, slamming the door shut on his way out.

Click.

It ended exactly the way it started, the lock jostling into the doorknob just as easily as the high of Y/N’s final orgasm slipped away.

Stifling silence suffocated the room around them. Peter refused to meet her eyes, just as much as hers did his. She laid motionless on the bed with him standing at the foot, his dick soft and if she narrowed her bleary eyes just a bit, she could see how his knees were shaking. Neither of them were able to say anything, losing the ability to converse as soon as the three men left the room.

“Peter,” her voice was throaty after the rough fucking she took, “C-can you please get me a drink?”

The brown-haired boy looked down to meet her face, and she could finally see the reason that he had hid it from her. His eyes were red and bloodshot, snot running from his nose with tears running down his cheeks. She’d been so caught up in the after haze of the sex that she didn’t even notice how his bare chest was heaving so deeply, nearing hyperventalation. 

But still, he grabbed his boxers, pulling them over his weakened legs clumsily. “Y-yeah, what kind do you want, Mr. Stark has a ton-”

“I don’t care.” She cut him off firmly, a sharp tone in her voice as she rolled over on her side. Y/N tucked her knees to her chin, fingers running over the side of her neck which was marked with bruises and scratches. “I don’t fucking care.”

Without another word Peter slipped out of the room quietly, knowing better than to try to talk to her about what they had been forced to participate in. It wasn’t as if there was much to say anyways.

Rain pattered against the window. It was only six o’clock in the evening. Cars honked and beeped and Natasha’s Igor Stavinsky record played for its fiftieth round of the day, and to anyone else in the tower it was a normal night. Normal, just like the ones spent sitting on the couch with Bucky’s hand creeping up her leg or Sam’s hands groping her ass, but this time they’d made a move. 

The silence was far too much to handle, the unspoken truth of what she’d done with Bucky, Steve, Sam, and Peter finally hitting her, knocking the air out of her lungs as she suddenly struggled to breathe. Gripping her face, clawing at it like a goddamn wolf, Y/N began to cry. Silently at first, gradually growing into heartbroken sobs, she let her trodden pride carry her voice wherever it wanted to go. 

The men’s whispered words haunted her mere moments after they’d left the room, but most audibly she could hear a faint husk of a voice, Sam’s low moan in her ear looming in the dreadful silence of the room:

Thanks for sharing with us, baby.

[1987vampire]

Proxies x reader NSFW HCs

alot of these scenes will actually most likely end up in this story im writing lmao, so stick around if you want to see them fleshed out

Let's get the obvious beginner out of the way.

Toby is a tits man, Brian likes ass, and Tim is happy with whatever (he likes tits more he just doesn't want to be rude)

Now, let's start with Toby

Toby is the most submissive bottom you will meet in your life.

Has slipped a bit too far into subspace a few times, and you've had to stop immediately once you realized.

Motherfucker just wants to be dommed and dommed hard. Just tell him what to do, please.

Has the biggest fucking mommy kink (which contributes to his love for tits because the motherfucker will lavish those bitches like no other when given the chance)

Also has the biggest praise kink you will ever see. Has came embarrassingly fast because you called him your good boy.

99 percent of his knowledge of sex comes from porn so,, he's going to have to be retaught most everything.

Has definitely groped your tit too hard on multiple occasions because he thought it was the right thing to do.

Surprisingly good learner, though. Just wants to make you happy.

He's the best one for quickies out of all of them only because he cums extremely fast while still prioritizing you.

(He makes up for how fast he cums by how many times he can do it. Motherfucker will paint you white all over before his body gives out. Plus, his CIPA makes it to where he can't feel the burning in his legs as he fucks you for hours. Has literally kept going until his body gave out because you wanted him to.)

All the boys have very specific thoughts on oral. Toby will give or receive, whichever makes you happier, but when he's allowed to go down on you, it's like you're his last meal.

It's one of the only time's he'll disobey your commands because it doesn't matter if you've already came three times??? He's still eating, lady, shhh.

Tried to dom one (1) time. Not doing that again. Dude started crying half-way through because he thought he was hurting you and your feelings by ordering you around.

You had to pause and take a bath with him afterwards while he calmed down. He spent half the bath blubbering into your neck and apologizing more times than you could count.

Now, Brian is the exact opposite of Toby.

You asked to try and let him be the bottom a single time and he fucked you so hard you couldn't walk the next day.

A little shithead who loves blowjobs. Will give you head, but much prefers you on your knees with him stuffed so far in that he’s tapping the back of your throat and you’re gripping his thighs while he uses you for nothing more than his pleasure in the moment. 

Will mix degradation in with praise like he's been doing it his entire life. Has given you whiplash multiple times because of it.

He's so loud, too. Toby is whiny and begs, but this dude is in your ear with low grunts and groans, his voice spilling the foulest words he can think of.

Has you seeing stars while mumbling into your neck shit like "your pretty little pussy's taking me so well - like you were built to be my cocksleeve. Just a cumslut who takes whatever I give you. Look at you, all fucked out of your mind, pretty little baby. Can't wait to paint your fuckin' insides. It's what whores like you deserve."

He's also the best at aftercare, though. You normally have to take care of Toby after, and Tim does jack shit unless needed.

Brian, though, has his dresser packed with shit to take care of you with after. Will bathe you, dress you, tell you little reassurances, make sure you're okay.

He's also best at knowing when to stop. He can sense your hesitation as if he's the one feeling it.

Because of his dirty mouth, he's had to break off sessions early a few times. The biggest was when you started crying halfway through him fucking you missionary, and not the kind of crying he liked (because let's be real, this motherfucker loves to see you cry and beg to cum.)

He had called you a whore a few too many times through the session, and you had taken it a bit too close to heart (it was something that hit a bit harder than needed since you were dating multiple men at once.)

He spent the whole night cuddling you and reassuring you that he didn't really mean it. He loved you, they all did, it was just for the roleplay. "Stop crying, pretty baby, we're okay. I'm not actually mad. Let me see a smile, c'mon, doll."

Also, let me mention that because y'all are so fucking loud, Tim has banged on the door quite a few times trying to get you to calm down.

Tim made the mistake of grumbling to himself during dinner one time in front of you and Brian that 'you're so fucking loud it sounds like you're recording a goddamn porno in there.'

If you hadn't been choking on your food so hard, you might have noticed the sly grin that crossed Brian's face, though it was brought back later when he ended up filming you quite a few times from that night. It wouldn't be posted anywhere - fuck that, you were theirs, and no one else's.

(he did accidentally share a video of you cumming to the group chat all four of you were in on accident while sending cute pictures of the two of you. The mortification of hearing your moans come through the speaker of Toby's phone while he stared at it dumbfounded was enough for you to not talk to Brian for a whole week. It didn't matter if they had seen you like that before, it was still embarrassing!)

(Brian didn't tell you that the other two - Tim especially - had been sent worse videos than that.)

SPEAKING OF TIM.

Let's get started with this man. Tim is the laziest motherfucker known to man but it is nice. 

Really, he’s not lazy, he’s just tired a lot, and he doesn’t want to put the effort in the fuck you senseless when you’ve got two others for that. 

He prefers sleepy fucking where you’re both half-out-of-it and breathless. He enjoys both of you on your sides with him spooning you, his hips moving just enough to give enough friction for the both of you to cum after a while. You can and will fall alseep right after with him still buried inside of you.

Speaking of, what’s the best way to get y’all’s sexual tension out while still being lazy (besides just making you ride him which he does very often) ? Cockwarming. 

He won’t even just do it in bed when it’s the two of you. He’s shimmied his pants down just enough for his cock to slip out and pushed your panties aside (since you were only wearing an oversized shirt and underwear. I mean, what did you think would happen?) and made you sit on him in the middle of the living room while the other two were lounging around, too distracted to notice. 

However, if someone does notice (Especially in the beginning because you were horrible at hiding your flushed cheeks and heavy breathing from understimulation) he would not hide it.

“H-hey, y/-y/n, what’s-sss-s with the f-fa-face?” Toby had asked innocently one night while you were all watching TV together. You knew Tim was smirking behind you as he lifted the hem of the big shirt just enough to let Toby know what was going on. Boy blushed so hard and covered his eyes, smacking his face harshly in the process, and Tim and Brian snickered (because of course Brian already knew.)

Cockwarming also means that the second you finally - finally - start fucking, it’s over for the two of you in less than a minute, your fingers clawing at him as you finally get your release after hours. (the longest he’s made the two of you wait was four hours because we’re watching Toby’s favorite movies, we can’t interrupt him, now can we, darlin’?’

He’s also a huge fan of facesitting. Not the biggest fan of receiving blowjobs only because it makes him feel too vulnerable, but he could have you sit on his face for hours and not complain, his hands gripping your ass tight enough to leave bruises as he laved his tongue over your clit over and over. 

The only - only - times Tim has fucked you rough was when it wasn’t even really him. You had been half-asleep with your back to him one time as he rutted into you slowly when you suddenly felt yourself flipped so you were ass up with your face being pushed into the mattress, his hips jutting at a speed you didn’t know he could reach.

You didn’t even have to look back to know that Masky - his alter that didn’t show himself too often around you - had taken over. 

During getting fucked that time by Masky, you ended up so deep in subspace, trying to please the man you didn’t get too see that often that you let him him rip orgasm after orgasm from you until you couldn’t think straight and you entered a space where all you felt was pleasure, and you couldn’t even see straight.

You were brought out of it by Tim pressing a cold rag to your forehead, whispering sweet nothings to you as he tried to get you to come to, apologizing profusely for letting it happen. You had just grinned and - though your voice was thoroughly fucked up from screaming - told him to let Masky know he could do that again any time. Tim had gotten so flustered that he walked out of the room for a few minutes. 

Speaking of alters real quick.

Tim and Brian are the only ones to have them - Masky and Hoody respectfully, of course - and they come out around you very little. Hoody comes out more than Masky though, and you can tell the difference in how quiet Brian will get. 

Hoody and Masky have fucked you both separately and together (so have Tim and Brian but we’ll get to that in a second)

Masky loves you ass and prefers to have you in doggystyle over anything while Brian’s love for blowjobs is only intensified in his alter who will have you gagging on him until you almost pass out. He’ll give you a moment to breathe in just a second, just hold on a little longer, okay?

Hoody is almost always silent besides grunts that let him communicate with Masky. This is apparent even when you’re not fucking, and the three of you have to teach yourselves how to decipher the man’s made up language. 

Masky is quiet too, but will grumble to himself more than anything, calling you the worst name’s he can think of while he slams into you so hard that you don’t even have to move yourself to give Hoody a proper blowjob, his grip on your hips and force of his thrusts are enough to have you bouncing back and forth quickly. 

It’s not like you could really move anyways, not when Masky’s picking you up by your thighs and holding your hips up as he plows into you.

They love spitroasting but have definitely done double penetration even if you complain that you’re not prepped. Who cares? You’re obviously ready for it, look at you already cumming even though they haven’t moved. 

Now, as for threesomes and or foursomes

Nine times out of ten, Toby is too embarrassed to do anything in front of the other two. Maybe if you coax him enough, reassure him that nobody will judge, he might join in for the night, but it’s an incredibly rare occurrence. Watching Brian boss you around is enough to make him squirm. You were supposed to be in change, not him? But there you were with your tongue sticking out as you rolled your hips against Tim, ready to fit either of them in your mouth. The other can always take another hole. 

Toby not wanting to join doesn’t really both the other two though, and though it’s still not as common to have a threesome compared to one on one, Tim and Brian are always ready to share. Especially when you look so pretty whining into the air as you take both of them at once. 

You don’t mind if Brian takes a few photos, right? I mean, just look at you! This is a perfect moment to capture. Ignore the fact that you’re now Tim’s home screen, your pretty tits out in the open as his cock is buried inside of you, Brian’s hand gripping the flesh of your hip. Why wouldn’t he want to see it all the time?

The same applies to them as their alters. Spitroasting is their absolute favorite, though Tim prefers it if you ride him while you slobber all over Brian instead of him having to use his energy to fuck you into oblivion. 

They love double penetration as well, but once they tried to fit both of them in your pussy instead of one in your ass and you came so hard that you passed out. It’s brought out on special occasions after a l o t of prep.

really, overall. you have a boy for whatever mood you're in and you're literally never horny because the second you mention it someone is on top of you.

[xgryffinwhore]

september nights

request:  i was wondering if you could write another soft bill smut? i don’t really have a specific plot in mind, we’re just really lacking content on tumblr rn :( in some really precarious place where they don’t want to get caught

warnings: soft smut, like i mean very soft.

word count: 2118

before your lips met bill denbrough’s, love was always, to say the least, a conundrum. lets be real for second, boys wasted your time, and you let them. only the cute ones of course. you are a hopeless romantic, drunk off of molly ringwald and john travolta films. you wanted any relationship you had to be just like the movies.

through your heart breaks, your best friends stood by you, your losers. eddie, richie, bev, stan, ben, and bill. for each tear you shed a punch was thrown to the man who caused it, they were protective over you. bill the most though, he always got so defensive when you were in the mix. all throughout middle & high school, bill has had to deal with every guy who even dares to think about breaking your heart.

“its not fair bill” you wailed into your pillow. he stroked your back and hushed you, his eyes welling with tears. “im never fucking good enough for any guy and its so fucking sad!” your complaints being cut off mid sentence by a choked out cry. “y-y/n. all of y-your boyfriend are i-idiots. anyone w-who would d-d-do this to you isnt w-worth your t-time. anyone w-would be the luckiest in the w-world to have y-you in their life” you picked your head up and looked at him with swollen lips and blood shot eyes “there no one out there for me bill, no one.” 

he bit his lip, fighting back any tears dripping from his eyes “they j-just dont see how p-pretty you are. how g-gentle and caring and s-s-sweet, and h-how your face c-can light up any room. theyre f-fucking idiots, and you d-deserve m-more.” you clearly thought he was being nice, because you could take a MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN hint, so you replied ���i wish there was someone out there like you, for me, that thinks of me the way you do.” 

he furrowed his brows, tossing his head back and running his fingers furiously through his hair. “d-dammit y/n!” he cursed “cant you s-see what ive b-been trying to say? w-w-what ive been t-trying to say f-for the last f-five years!?!” your expression was bewildered, your brain was going a mile a minute trying to figure out what he meant. his frustration got the best of him, he got up and stormed out the door,  feeling embarrassed and stupid for trying to make you understand how he felt.

he was half way out your front door, fuming for his keys lodged deep into his front pocket; when suddenly:

“bill!”

his head turned at the call of his name, “y-y/n please i d-”

smack.

your lips locked with his, he rain pouring heavily outside. bills lips stilled at the contact, but this lasted briefly, he deepened this kiss by pulling you in to his abdomen by your mid back. your bunched the front of his base ball t shirt with your fists, and he did the same but with your hair.

the rest is basically history.

now six months later, and you couldnt have been happier. bill knew how to treat you, nights out twice a week (you always wanted to pay but bill insisted,) holding your hand to and from classes, he let you borrow have his varsity baseball jacket, which smelt just like him and was a little too big for you. 

when he would drop you off and your classes, he would always grab your hand and transfer a tiny piece of paper into your palm. when you got into class to unfold it, it was always a cute little message about his love for you. 

bill had it bad for you, everyone knew that, and you loved every minute of it. he met every and any standard you had, and exceeded your expectations. 

it was september, still warm enough in derry to wear shorts, so you and your friends thought of a last hurrah for the ending of the summery weather.

“camp out, its nearly perfect” Richie exclaimed. eddie rolled his eyes “like youve ever been near anything perfect toizer, do you even know what perfect means?” richie shoved eddie “yeah eddie i actually have. have you seen amanda’s tits?”

 you tuned out richie and eddies bickering as you’re boyfriend cleared his throat. “you g-gonna go?” he said into your ear, “only if you promise to wear bug spray bill, you know how bad-” he cut you off with a kiss, his mouth forming a small smile at how cute you were. “get a room, honestly” stan poked, pda wasn’t his favorite... “at least i h-have something to k-kiss aye s-stannie”

you arrived at the edge of the forest, parking your car at the last parking ish space. you walked toward the sounds of ben and richie fighting, and came to see that richie really went all out. three tents, sticks for a fire, and more snacks than anyone needed. 

you all spent the remanence of the daylight dancing in the light sky, sharing stories, and eating waaaay too many chips. it was dark now, you all huddled in a circle near the fire; making small talk and trying not to admit you were all very tired.

“ok folks, im off to bed” richie yawned “me stan eddie n’ mike will take the green tent, bev and ben in the red.” richie paused and smirked over at you and bill, you were tangled in his limbs, golfed in his navy blue pull over. “and uh- heh- billy boy and y/n in the yellow tent eh?” you could practically feel bills eye roll, god richie was so immature.

“w-we dont have to s-sleep in the s-s-same tent, i c-can ask ben if he’d s-switch” you look up at bill and reassure him “bill no- its not a big deal, right?” he tucks your hair behind your ear and kisses the side of your temple “c-course not.”

you both went into the tent, bill began to unroll the blankets you both had packed tightly into your bags. You both set up your makeshift bed, bill leaned against a pile of pillows while you hugged his side, your face buried in his neck. his smell was absolutely intoxicating; his skin had remanence of his milk and honey body wash, but it was slightly overpowered by wintergreen, clove, and his bourbon cologne. 

you were like this for around an hour, the orange crank-powered lantern being the only source of light. you switch positions though, you now laid your head on his lap, reading a magazine you stole from the hair salon. he watched your eyes scan every letter, when you read something funny you’d huff to yourself, and when something was intresting you stuck your tongue out from between your teeth. he adored you.

“d-dont stay up t-too late” he stroked your hair off your shoulder “we have t-to have you w-well r-r-rested.” you sat up from beside him, as he adjusted the pillows and took off his pull over, then his pants. he got under the covers and waited for you.

“nice donut boxers” you laughed. “s-shut up” he blushed and regreted not changing them when he had the chance. you turned around took off your shirt, you were shy about how you looked, but it was just bill. it was just bill. you heard his breath hitch, his eagerness radiating off his body onto yours. the air became tense as you unzipped your pants and threw them to the corner. you turned around, bills pupils growing until you were completely facing him.

“yeah i know. mine are boring” you laugh nervously, brushing your hair behind your ear and getting under the covers next to him. he didnt respond, he couldnt take his eyes off of you.you began to sit up again “i can go put back on-” “n-no!” he interrupts, his blush taking up his entire face.

“i j-j-just cant b-believe i g-get to see something s-so special” he gulped “s-so b-b-b-beautiful.”

you grabbed him by his shoulders and kissed him, hard. youve been with boys before, i mean youve dated plenty of people. but no one ever called your body special. hot, yeah. nice, yeah. beautiful, sure. but no one ever thought that it was special. 

bill was a kind boy, the most you two have ever done is get each other off with your hands, always clothed. bill never asked to see more, he felt lucky enough just to make you feel good, and that was enough for him. so when you felt the heat of his hands hovering over your body but not touching it, you new you’d have to call the shots tonight.

“bill,” you laid down “just touch me everywhere, please.” he crawled in between your legs, kneeling so that he could lean over your face “m-my pleasure.”

he traced your collar, leaving small, delicate, kisses to make up for what his fingers left behind as they trailed. he kissed the valley between your breasts, licking slow striped down your skin. he picked up your upper back a little and cocked his head to the side, you nodded and he unclipped your bra. he sat their with his mouth open, taking in the view. you blushed and muttered “hey, keep that mouth to good use.” he dipped down and sucked on your nipples, his mouth felt so good against your skin grazed with goosebumps. he was gingerly with his tongue, it was sexy, it was romantic. he kissed down your stomach, his fingers sweeping down your sides. you could see his member pressing against his boxers, the pressure made him wince every once in a while. his fingers met your panties and he hooked them. again, he looked up for permission, you nodded once again. 

he brought your underwear down your legs and off, looking back to see what he had relieved. he licked his lips, getting ready to please you more than he already did. but you felt bad, bill always gave gave and gave. “its ok, im ready right now.” bill looked up at you in shock, he wasnt expecting you’d want to go all the way. “y/n, y-youre sure?” you lean up and kiss his lips, swiping your tongue against his bottom lip “please.”

he pulled down his boxers eagerly, his member sprung out to hit his stomach. he lined up with you, checking once more that it was ok. then he pushed in, bottoming out. he felt bigger than you thought, of course he was well endowed, but he filled you up so well. you mewled, the pain and pleasure making a delicious feeling that made your toes curl.

he waited, but began slowly moving after a bit. he grunted, feeling you wrapped around him was something he’d never be able to get out of his head he thought to himself. he grunted “f-fuck this feels g-good’ he grunted, his breath becoming heavy and full of lust. with every stroke, you felt yourself get more and more lost in the bliss he made you feel. “youre making me feel so good  bill” you moan, the sound of his name coming out of your mouth driving him absolutely crazy. he speeds up, loving the view of your face contorting in pleasure and your body moving with his. 

he couldnt help but feel admiration to you, your hair formed a halo around your head, and the sweat that coated your skin made you glisten in the orange light. “im t-the luckiest in the world” he husks, holding your cheek. 

you felt the knot in your core coming undone, “bill im close” you strain, trying not to be too loud so you dont wake your friends. he moved your leg up to his shoulder, hitting you from a different, deeper angle. his fingers went to your clit, making you bite your had to stop you from screaming. “you l-look so p-pretty y/n, t-taking me s-so well. making y-you feel so good.” “so good bill” you repeat, drunken off his cock and fingers. 

without warning, you came came, your legs spazzing as you moaned “fuck bill” he followed, his hips stuttering, as he cried out into your shoulder. he pulled out and laid next to you, both of you breathing heavily and coming off your highs. 

“y/n” he looked at you “t-that was really j-just wow- thank y-you.” you kissed him, chaste and sweet “that was great yeah?” “it w-was perfect babe. t-thank you f-for t-that. i love you y-y/n.”

“i love you too bill.”

he sat up, his fingers dancing on your inner thigh.

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“c-can we p-please do t-that again?”

[interstellar-changkyun]

you’re jealous | monsta x ot7 reactions

maybe some smut ;)

shownu | son hyunwoo

shownu has been going on variety shows to promote the group’s latest comeback and the female hosts and guests always comment on his looks

it doesn’t bother you usually, you know he’s handsome and love when he gets all flustered from the attention, but you don’t like how the hosts feel up his arms and ogle him when he performs a part of the choreo

they continue to dote on him and jealousy crawls up your throat and takes over your body as you wait for shownu to come home

he comes home earlier than usual and you would be happy if the images of women touching up his arms weren’t flashing in your mind, clouding your vision

he greets you with a kiss to the cheek and your arms are crossed and you’re pouting, still quiet

only when he’s setting down his stuff does he ask what’s wrong giving you time to look away from his sweaty chiseled chest and focus on your anger

“i saw the show today.” a beat of silence

“oh? was it fun?” he was almost done now as he grew closer to you

“it would’ve been if those women weren’t touching you up...” shownu found it adorable when you were jealous so he couldn’t help but put his arms around your waist and pull your back to his chest, resting his head on your shoulders. you could feel his muscles against you, was he not wearing a shirt any more? it didn’t matter you were angry

“i told them to stop but they cut that out of the show...” your anger subsided, of course he did. you turned in his arms then, properly looking him in the eyes for the first time today.

“good.”

“you’re cute when you’re jealous,” he kissed your nose and you blushed, for a second he thought he outta make you jealous more often but he couldn’t bare even trying to give anyone that kind of attention when he had you. “let me make it up to you,” he started kissing your lips then, his hands roaming down your body as the found your ass and lifted you up, instinctively your legs went around his waist

he was sweaty so u offered to shower with him to save water of course, he thanked you for that with his actions...

wonho | shin hoseok

wonho was performing WITH YOU and you couldn’t help but feel jealous as the beautiful female dancer moved in synch with him and his hands traced her body

you rarely got jealous, he did that enough for both of you, but you couldn’t help it when fans were saying how good they looked together and of course they didn’t know he was already taken

the tweets, instagram posts, even tiktoks of them together consumed you and you finally came to your breaking point when wonho came home from the music show

“enough hoseok i can’t take it any more!”

“what’s wrong?” he had never seen you so upset, a mix of frustration and sadness adorned your face

“you and your dancer, everywhere i look online i just see you two together and i know it’s not real but when everyone’s telling you they would be good together i-“

“baby they don’t know what’s real and what’s for the performance, at the end of the day i came home to you and love you, i don’t even have her number on my phone much less have her saved as my lock screen like i do you,” wonho grinned and you felt the anxiety leave your body slowly. he always knew how to calm me down and when he realized you weren’t as mad he opened his arms for a hug which you fell into with a small pout still on your face

“can i make it up to my baby?” you didn’t know what he had in mind and you certainly didn’t expect being handcuffed to your bed frame screaming his name as he ate you out until you came...three times

kihyun

kihyun wasn’t naturally flirty, just too kind to know he could be perceived as flirty so when a girl trips in front of him and he helps her up like the gentlemen he is she gets the wrong idea and starts flirting with him...in front of you

you let it go on as he obliviously responds to her intrusive questions, you were grateful she didn’t recognize him with his mask and beanie on but you still felt your possessiveness rearing it’s ugly head

“we need to get going honey,” you cut in, having had enough of this girl just when she’s about to ask YOUR boyfriend for his number and she stutters and apologizes, you just mutter an okay as you grab kihyun’s hand and walk away

kihyun laughs as he catches up to you

“aww someone got jealous.”

“not jealous just annoyed, how could you not tell she was flirting?” you frowned at him and he smirked, oh no he’s gonna tease the hell out of you now

“i can only tell when you flirt with me, but what if i was flirting with her? would you get mad? and if i fucked her?” he whispered the last part, since you were still very much in public.

“kihyun,” you groaned as his hold on your hand tightened. you knew where this was going, knew exactly what this tone in his voice would lead to. but honestly you didn’t care, not when you were just as territorial as him and wanted to feel like his in the most physical way.

“would you beg for me back?” kihyun, pulled you flush against him and whispered into your ear and you couldn’t help but hold onto his shoulder for strength, he knew what he did to you.

“you know i would.”

“you look so pretty when you beg, maybe i’ll go get her number.” you were whining at this point, still very much in public, he drove you crazy.

“fuck me please kihyun.” and that’s all it took before you were rushing to the nearest bathroom like a bunch of horny teenagers, and kihyun was making you cry and scream his name.

minhyuk

being an mc on a music show meant he interacted with lots of idols and you always anticipated the influx of delusional fans assuming he’s dating any girl idol he has any interaction with but one day is different from the others

he’s doing his usual mc duties but this kpop idol is staring at him intensely, even as going as far as telling him he’s handsome

she’s much older but it doesn’t stop the influx of tweets and comments

minhyuk is handsome you know that, anyone with eyesight can see that so when he comes home you can’t help but be grumpy

you can’t be mad at him you know that but your feelings are your feelings

he knows as soon as he’s home what’s making you grumpy

“babe i can’t help it!”

“ i know it’s just-why are you so handsome??? cover your face or something argh” you’re not really angry at him and he knows that as he kisses your face until the pout drops from your lips and he kisses you

you’re still feeling annoyed so you make it a point to show minhyuk just how much he is yours as you are his, making him scream your name all night long

hyungwon

like kihyun he doesn’t realize people assume he’s flirting when he’s kind just because he’s handsome

you’re out with him in vacation in greece and hyungwon is helping these japanese tourists with directions because he overhears them being confused about the hotel names, they assume he’s flirting with them since they don’t see you standing, waiting for him under the shade of the store front

hyungwon politely declines their offer to join him back at their hotel and you unfortunately hear the entire conversation, not once did he mention you

you scoff and walk off as he walks back to you, his eyebrows raising in shock

“woah what’s wrong?” he catches up to you with ease, damn his long legs.

“why don’t you go ask your new friends since i don’t exist?” you glare at him and he smirks, the handsome fucker smirks

“jealous babe?”

“why would i be, not like i’m your girlfriend or anything.” you grumble and he laughs at how you’re the angriest he’s seen you in a while. the last time you were this angry it was at netizens for attacking him over some dumb thing.

“i didn’t tell them because they could have recognized me and that wouldn’t have been good for anyone,” that made a lot of sense, maybe you had reacted too strongly. you might just be angry about other people flirting with what’s yours more than anything.

“you’re hot when you’re angry though, maybe i should do that more often.” you stopped in your tracks and narrowed your eyes even more at him, you pulled him into the side alley, pushing him against the building side.

“you won’t.” you shut up with a kiss and he was smirking into your kiss, his hands roaming down your body and you had to pull away and remind yourself you were not in your hotel room. after that you both stumbled and practically ran back to your hotel.

jooheon

jooheon is pretty well known for his unabashed displays of aegyo and so when he goes on a variety show it’s not surprising he’s asked to do it

unfortunately this show is hosted by a female idol and her reaction sends netizens into delusional theories that the two are surely dating

you’re so upset by the rumors and allegations that you start to believe them so when jooheon sees you two days after the rumors started you’re crying at your place

he’s so worried he pulls you to him automatically and asks repeatedly what happened and what’s wrong, not even thinking for a second it could be related to the rumors

finally you manage to stop crying and get out, “it’s okay if you love her too if she makes you happier i’ll understand.”

“what the hell are you talking about?” jooheon is so dumbfounded by your statement he stops soothing you and this makes you go back to crying

“you and that kpop idol on the variety show it’s all over the internet.”

“you idiot i would never date much less love anyone other than you.” you just stop crying at look at him through your tears, which you furiously wipe away again and see the sincerity on his face.

“oh.”

“yes oh i can’t believe you even believed them.” jooheon scoffs and gets off the bed you were both sat on, and then out of nowhere he picks you up and takes you to the bathroom

“we’re taking a bath so my baby can feel better,” the relaxing bath turns to a little more when he can’t but show how much he missed you the past couple days and just how much he loves you more than anyone else

I.M | im changkyun

people expected changkyun to be the bad bitch in your relationship, he had sharp features, a deep voice, piercings, and an amazing body but everyone who knew you both knew you were the one who would slice a bitch

especially if a random girl is trying to dance on your man in the one nightclub everyone knows he’s taken in, this nightclub had cut some kind of nondisclosure deal with the idols and their companies but clearly this girl was new, however, that didn’t mean you would hold back

changkyun winced as she started to dance on him and backed away, but she was persistent as she turned around and tried again, he waved his hand in front of her, clearly disinterested

you didn’t want to step in but as you monitored the situation where you danced with jooheon you could tell changkyun was struggling to remain polite

but you didn’t have a reputation to maintain and you certainly weren’t as calm and collected as your boyfriend

in a couple seconds you were wedging yourself between her and your boyfriend

“i’d back away sweetie,” you painted on your best fake smile and changkyun let out a sigh of relief.

“who are you?” her voice and tone was unpleasant, it was all too unpleasant especially when you were trying your best not to break her

“i’m his girlfriend,”

“let’s let him pick,” she shoved you away and stepped closer to changkyun, and that’s when you know you’re about to end up at the police station...again

changkyun stops you by grabbing your waist and hauling you over his shoulder as you’re lunging for her hair

shownu appears out of nowhere and asks the girl to kindly fuck off in the way shownu just knows how to do

when you’re outside and the driver has pulled up to the club, changkyun sets you down, he looks partially amused but mostly concerned

he knows you hate it when other people flirt with him just like he has to stop himself from breaking the jaw of any guy who dances on you at the club

he pushes the hair out of your face and looks at you fondly, you just nod at him to let him know you’re okay, too lost in his eyes to find words at the moment

and then the driver is opening the door for you and you both shuffle into the very back row of the minivan

changkyun presses a kiss to your temple, and you lean into his side

“you’re so fucking sexy when you get like that, i know i shouldn’t encourage it but fuck,” changkyun whispers into your hair and you shiver as his deep voice sends chills through you, you let your hand travel from its place on his lap to where the leather of his pants is becoming strained

“don’t.” he hisses and you aren’t in the obedient mood as you look him straight in the eyes and continue your torture

you estimate you have about thirty mins to go to get home, the privacy screen between the driver and the back of the car won’t muffle all the sound of you both but you can at least remind changkyun who he belongs to

so when you’re done making him suffer in his leather pants, you unzip them and he’s hissing and grabbing your hand

“fuck babe,” you just smirk at him and then spit in your hand. changkyun groans and throws his head back against the headrest, soon enough you’re leaning down and taking him into your mouth and he’s whining your name in between strings of curses. you manage to finish him off before you even get home.

changkyun gets back at you and you’re sure the entire apartment complex knows his name now

[kittehkwrites]

Cranky

Summary: Erik does not understand the importance of nap-time. 

Warnings: Fluff, dad!Erik, Soft!erik

Before your son was born you thought you’d be the mother of a momma’s boy or somethin... Boy were you wrong.

From in the womb, your baby boy would only calm down at the sound of his father’s timber voice.

“Aye lil man, yo momma’s tired right now and you doin all that kickin is keeping her up.” He’d say all serious but you couldn't help but smile at how he was acting and he followed on with “i’m gonna need you to bring it down a few notches” At that, your son would kick back at his father’s hand and the look on Erik’s face was too funny.

it had your stomach shaking and the little boy inside you pushing his hands and feet inside of you so that you could both feel and see his clear displeasure at being told to relax.

“Don’t get fresh lil boy.” You had to let a little ‘oop’ out when his voice got deeper and your thighs clenched up since it’s been a while. Ain’t his fault, the doctor just said to lay off it since the last time you guys went “a bit rough” and they didn’t want to chance an early birth.

The baby relaxed the same way you did when he used his authoritative tone.

“That’s right lil man.” He said after feeling the baby calm down at his command. He was smiling at you when he caught your eyes and you smiled back when he started to caress the bump caring your “future prince” as he’d always call him, since Erik stated he was the King and you’re his Queen so ‘lil man’ is the prince.

“Erik. You better make it up to him before he takes it out on me.”

“You lucky.” He said with a look like ‘what you think this is?’ But he saw your stern face and he remembered the nights of discomfort increasing since the baby was getting closer and he didn’t like you being in pain or uncomfortable during what was supposed to be a beautiful moment so he did what he could in hopes it’d pacify the baby for the night.

“Aye baby boy”- you always thought it was cute when he said that-” you know daddy loves you, right?” He pulled back from the close proximity to your stomach, waiting for the little hand or footprint to press against his large hand.

“Right?” He would look to you and you’d rub your underbelly to get the baby to respond to his now pouting father. You're convinced your baby inherited his attitude from, which would mean he’d be bratty from time to time because they can’t handle restrictions to their freedom.

“Come on baby boy. Daddy’s out here pouting”- He shoved you a bit and you just let out a bit of a scoff before continuing- “and momma can’t sleep with y’all fighting at each other” A little more rubbing and your little boy was pushing out his foot to meet the spot in which both you and your husbands hands were sat on your underbelly.

“I love you lil man. Can’t wait to meet you when you get here.” And with that, he’d put a little kiss on your belly before coming up to you, hands still on your stomach and fingers still brushing against the stretch marks that laid on the sides of your belly, and give you a soft kiss that gave you the same sparks as the first time you both kissed.

“I love you too baby.” He said before pecking your lips “don't forget it.” He said before turning off the bedside lamp and then laying behind you before letting sleep take over the both of you.

That was approximately 8 months ago.

The baby is now 6 months and your husband was a damn hog.

“Erik! Give me my baby!”

You and your husband have been playing an impromptu game of hide-and-seek with you son, Erik initiating the game after you wanted to put the baby down for a nap before heading to your parents house for family day.

“He’s mines too” He’d call out quickly before turning back to your son in his hands, continuing to make faces at the little boy and getting squeals of joy from the little body.

“Not for long you shit!” You huffed out as you started to make your way up the stairs, following the baby laughs. You were just tired and your husband wanted to annoy you, as you were convinced no man would keep the baby up for this long and not want to pass off their child to the mother. 

“He needs to sleep or else he’ll be cranky and I already have to deal with you! I don’t need to be dealing with the both of y’all at once, plus my family members coming up to me afraid to ask you what’s wrong or tell me how to raise my baby!” You continued, finally approaching the two bodies located in your husbands office. 

He gave you a look as he saw your slightly angered and annoyed expression, but he didn’t care. 

He had has lil man and his momma could stay mad, he thought.

“Babe. It’ll be alright. He don’t give no trouble, right lil man? Tell yo momma to go lay down before she pops a vessel.” He said in that ‘baby’ voice that annoyed the crap out of you but you couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow up at the nonsense spewing from your husbands mouth.

So you nodded your head, went over to the baby and checked his diaper before kissing him on the forehead and making your way out of the room.

He don’t even know.

Just as you said, so it happened.

You guys reached your family gathering and guess what happened within the first 20 minutes of greetings from aunts, uncles, grandparents and such?

If you guessed a cranky baby, then you were very right.

“Baby?” You ignored your husband who now had his signature stoic expression placed on his face, but it slowly formed into a confused scowl at the jerky limbs and loud hollering coming from the sleepy child who, may I remind you, ‘don’t give no trouble.’, according to your big headed husband.

“Baby? Your so-”

“-oh now he's my son? i thought you had that covered? Correct me if i'm wrong but didn't you say he didn't give any trouble?” You were making sure he’d hear the judgement in your voice at his foolish comments made earlier. 

“Yea bu-”

“-but nothin. Handle it before he ‘pops a vessel’” You said before seeing one of your favourite cousins and going to them, leaving your husband in a state of confusion while your son just wanted to sleep.

This went on for another 15 mins before your cousin and a couple other relatives came over and asked what erik did to the baby.

You simple said “He wouldn’t let me put the baby down for a nap.” which resulted in a few head shakes and inhales from the surrounding bodies, knowing that a nap could be the best thing for the baby and the parent.

“Girl go help that man. He probably over there trying to give the baby commands like some drill sergeant.”

“Don’t do my man like that” You couldn’t help but laugh at the way they all saw erik as this military man but to you he would always be your big softie, especially after the birth of your son. He just showed his love differently than others and you didn’t fault him for it. 

You waited another two minutes before gulping down the rest of the juice in your cup before heading to your husband and distressed baby.

“Alright papa. Momma’s hear. I know, i know. Daddy doesn’t have the magic touch huh? Maybe he’ll listen to me won't he? wont he? That’s right. Come on papa, nap time.” You said, taking him out the grasp of your husband after washing your hands in the kitchen sink and drying them off once you reached to the two inside. 

You checked his diaper and it was dry, probably changed before you got here since your husband probably thought he had a soiled diaper. You also saw the half empty bottle of milk in the baby bag near where you were seated on the couch and chalked it up to your husband attempting to silence the cries of the infant.

You had placed him on your legs once you got comfortable on the couch. Fingers running over his eyebrows, his cheeks, his nose and back up to his forehead and ears in the soothing motion. Within 5 minutes he was sleeping and your husband couldn’t be happier. 

“Baby”

“Yes mr know-it-all” You responded smartly, not taking your eyes off the small body in your lap.

“Don’t get smart now.” You had to refrain from clenching your thighs together and looked at your husband with challenging eyes.

You saw him deflate slightly once he remembered he was in the wrong. 

“I’ll listen next time.” You let out a little hum and turned back to your son in your lap. 

You just sat in awe at the life you created with the man next to you. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t realise your husband had grabbed your chin softly before turning your face to his, placing the sweetest, most gentle kiss on your lips that left you weak once he pulled back.

“I love you” He said. That glint in his deep eyes made you swoon like it had when you first met him at the black owned coffee shop near the outreach centre.

“I love you too” You said softly before smiling at the grin that broke out on his face after knowing you weren’t so mad with him. 

Hey y’all!

Hope your week started off alright and that you’ve enjoyed your weekend😊

This is the main account that i’ll be posting on in regards to my written work because i couldn’t interact as i wanted to on my side-blog.

But I won’t be deleting anything on that blog, im just moving over to this one.

Let me know what you thought of this soft imagine and who you’d like me to write for or just ask me anything😁

Remember to like, share and/or comment and be safe!

Love y’all and thanks for the support.

-K💜