#this is a horrible person i dont need to bother finding out more just bye .like fuck off too please.

[ab--n]

Chapter 1: Shifting and Moping for Lost Hope part 1

After having less than the recommended number of hours of sleep, I went to tell DK my conversation with Chocomonio. Him obviously being concerned.

“So what you’re saying is that this ‘Chocomonio’ person told you that two rooms have vents that connect to each other. I supposed that makes sense. Dero and Celeernyx did mention a way of transportation…”

“Okay I’m getting tired DK, Who are these people?”

“Verin, calm down. They're also Participants.”

“Ugh, Yeah sorry. I just feel like absolute trash.”

So one day until the poison kicks in and kills everybody but us four…. Wait.. didn’t Monodoo say that two rooms will be unaffected?

“DK… are you aware of how many rooms there are?”

“At least four.”

“Two rooms will be spared of poison.”

“And we were put in groups of four… 16 in total”

As silence falls between me and DK. we’ve come to a horrible realization.

What if Monodoo makes us continue killing each other?

“HEY!!! Archie found something. Looks like a key! Come here, Dolly and Archie will be waiting!!” Dolly yelled, thank god she was here. Morale would have dropped much quicker if she wasn't.

“We’re coming!!... Come on DK”

“... I’ll be following.”

Without DK I ran to where Archie and Dolly were. As I looked over them I saw a red key. It looks off though, Like it was taken straight out of a children's book.

“I found it near the monitor, It appeared overnight.”

“Dolly can see that. It wasn't here yesterday.”

Maybe Monodoo put it there? But how can he get in here? I have too many questions and no answers.

 “Let's use the key already! Dolly wants out of here!”

“Dolly, please wait! For all we know it could be a trap!” Archie pleaded.

“Well we don't know if we dont try!!”  

“Fine… let's go to the door first.”

Archie,Dolly and Me went to the door locking us here. It really doesn't make sense, I mean a key looking like it was stolen from a cartoon can open an attack proof metal door?-

*CREAK*

“….What?! How did it open?” I yelled.

“Look, Verin I don’t know either! The key looked really fake so I thought it was a trap!” Archie tried to explain

“Yay, The door opened! Wait for Dolly, Dolly will get Sir Dragon Knight!”

.....

So… we are out? 

.....

“DOTTY, I SWEAR TO NOVA, OR VOID OR WHOEVER, JUST STOP BOTHERING BLOSSOM DEE!!”

I turned my head as I saw 12? Maybe 10 more people come out of metal doors like ours, they must be the other participants.

“Okay! Dolly is back with DK! Hmm? Who are they?”

Suddenly DK pops out behind her.

“Those are the other participants Dolly, now if you will excuse me, I need to talk to somebody.”

"DK... Are you ok?" I questioned

"Yes, Now please leave me alone..."

I don’t know for sure… but DK is acting weird, I should leave him alone for now though. Maybe one of those guys that he mentioned wanted to talk?

Can I talk to Chocomoinio? I can see what it looks like now.

“Dolly, Archie. I also got places to be- Dolly, where’s Archie?”

“Archie went to Fylass, Dolly also wants to talk to someone soooo… Buh bye Verin!!”

And Dolly ran off, I wonder who does she want to talk to. But now’s not the time, I got to find Chocomonio!

As I traversed through the small crowd, then I heard a shout..

“Yo Veri! Where are you?” A familiar voice

“Choco? Is that you?” 

“Yep, and I’m right behind ya!”

Excited, I turned around quickly to see… a Yellow cat-like lady in a royal looking kimono, Not really what I expected…

“HI!!!!!!..Hmm? Oh ya fell for my facade? Wait let me turn back.”

Suddenly a blackish goo covered the lady and transformed into a small puffball with pink hair and lots of eyes…that are also pink.

“Here I am in all my glory! Sooo.. how’s it been going?”

“Not the best. I’m also confused… I mean did everyone get those weird keys?”

“Yeah, Techno found ours when she was on night watch. I have no idea where she is. I think she also switched ‘bodies’ with Lyx”

Man, there are so many names to keep track of. And why did Choco do air quotes when referring to those two guys switching bodies?

“Hey! while the more mature guys find out whatever is happening, wanna explore and talk to the others?”

“What about you Choco?”

“I’ma annoy Blossom with Dotty. Those two seem to hate each other, Weeeellll maybe only Blossom hates Dotty. Welp, I’ll be taking my leave now. See you later Verin.”

Okay, I’m a bit far behind the social game. I should introduce myself to the rest of the group-

“Hey! Rotten orange peel!” A girl a bit shorter than me ran up to me out of breath. She looks like Knuckle Joe. I wonder what he's doing right now.

“Have you seen a blind purple bat-like girl with a broken leg?” She seems desperate…

“Jill, please don't refer to the girl as ‘Rotten orange peel’!”

“I Don’t Give A Shit, Vibrato! I’m trying to find Bliees!”

I.. should leave these two to argue, I’ll go find others to introduce myself to.

______________________________________________________________

Oof, sorry if this seems rushed. its been a stressful two months. part two will be coming soon I hope.

@monsterhatdoodles

@moon-mage

@loaflovesdoodling

@george228732

@ceoofmetagala

@cauliarty

@smaaenart

@ilikesillythingswooo

I think thats everyone, if I didnt tag you and your character is in this part then please dm me!

[scottstiles]

my hot take is FUCK prev tags. FUCK IT. i absoluteLY HATE having to wade through a bazillion tags saying fukinfidgjkf PREV befor i can see what the PREV you were godtdam PREVING ABOUT

[k-s-morgan]

Yo, whoever just....SENT you UNSOLICITED ctitism??? They're either a youngling that hasn't learned the rules or fanfiction or they're just an asshole. That ask was worded very politely but that was such an assholish thing to do??? "Sadly, I will stop reading your story" DUDE WHO CARES. YOU DEADASS COULD'VE JUST QUIETLY STEPPED OUT WHEN THE STORY STARTED TURNING IN A DIRECTION THAT MADE YOU UNCOMFY WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING. There was literally NO NEED for them to come tell you all that and the only reason they did is because they're arrogant and think that only their opinion matters. They just...disregarded creative freedom completely. You handled it well but I just wanted to stop by and tell you that your characterization is actually very realistic and it is miles better than some other fics I've seen, which I will not name because I'm NOT AN ASSHOLE. Sorry to come ranting into your inbox but that ask got me fired up.

Another message:  horrible anon that wrote the rude condescending& pathetic ask ab harry being weak for not being able to stomach tom MURDERING people i have no words. made me mad! book harry would NOT be okay with murder! & fuck them for saying those mean things ab u that arnt true. this is UR story. u can do WHATEVER u want with it. nobody has any right to demand things from u & u dont have to take any criticism if u dont want it. the entitlement of some people🤬. also i dont know why they assume you should care their going to “stop reading” like okay bye 😌 still gonna have like 200,000 hits

Another message from @likorys-shimenawa:  I didn't want to be rude the anon, but... "You know something is wrong with your characterisation when more than one person gets hot and bothered about it" seriously broke me. They DO remember that people still think Snape was an incel out for hookup with Lily? When the only person to believe that was damn VOLDEMORT? Just cause many people say something doesn't make it true. Also - Harry's 'constant whimpering'? Did they miss how he spend months hung up on the Horcruxes, doing nothing, as well?

-----------------------------------------------------

I decided to group most of criticism-related asks together - I hope you don’t mind! Thank all of you for your support, it really means a lot to me. I’m not very bothered by negative comments/asks, but they sure aren’t pleasant to get.

The thing with stories is that everyone perceives them in a unique way. I saw the most ironic evidence of this with my Russian Snape-centered fic. I got two comments in sequence from two different people: one said my Snape is too nice; the second one said he is too evil. Everyone else felt he was canon-like. It was funny to see these comments posted right next to each other, and none of them was technically wrong: people have their view of the character, and it won’t always coincide with that of others.

It’s inevitable to lose readers along the way. The more relevant decisions characters make, the more defined the plot becomes, and some people start finding it not to their liking. That’s okay, but it’s important to remember that your experience is your own. Others might not share it.

That’s why I‘m not going to reply to asks similar to the one I got again. I already explained my view, there is nothing left for me to add. But to sum it up for the last time:

I think Harry’s ability to love can be a curse just as it can be a gift. I think he’s pretty strong, even though this love cripples him in many ways. He raised a better version of Tom on the global scale and a worse monster on the local one. He managed to control Tom’s destructiveness for years, and it broke his heart every time Tom did something similar to Voldemort. Beth was a shock because Harry’d believed he was succeeding in making Tom better just by loving him and explaining what’s right and what’s wrong. After that, he was constantly wary, yet the more Tom lived without hurting anyone, the more hopeful Harry became. Every setback shook him, but Tom never killed again - he learned how to stop, and Harry tried to focus on this. He had evidence of Tom being better, so his expectations worked accordingly. Learning about Charlus was a terrible blow because for one thing, Harry was already feeling terrible due to killing a person and watching his student die to protect him. For another, he realized that Tom killed a part of his family again. Of course he was stunned and horrified - this was his worst nightmare come true. And the ritual was the last drop in the overfilled bowl of his patience and hopes. Harry tried to watch out for others, he forgot to watch out for himself.

In my eyes, this is consistent with his behavior in canon + the changes he lived through in WHGTB. I’m happy that many readers share this view, and I’m sorry others don’t (though I get it), but I really don’t need to know that you want to stop reading. If the story no longer makes you feel happy or interested, just close it and look for another one. Fandom is supposed to be fun, and no writer can please everyone. Characterization is a complex thing - for the most part, it’s not universal. Things you disagree with will be something others agree with and vice versa. That’s fiction, and that’s why it’s such a fascinating concept.    

[biaswreckingfics]

I GOT SO MUCH TO SAYYY!! gosh pls dont find me weird okay, and these are just my personal opinions and im not hating any groups!! but my unpopular opinion is: i think kpop has become very toxic after bts and bp got famous in America. And tbh if you ask me, i wouldnt want any other kpop groups to be famous in America... i only stan exo but i think i speak for all groups when i say they are safe as they are now... of course if exo ever get even more famous i will be happy and proud for their success. But look how fame and America has changed bts and bp... not tryna hate but look theyve changed, idk if anyone else noticed but after fame hits bts, i realised how theyve start to become very...white?? like they are so westernised and like example, they start focusing on America only, they even curse (not a lot but i’d still point out) casually like for example, jungkook singing a curse word in his cover song for jason derulo savage love i think (speaking of cursing, after nct127 got famous in usa mark started getting influenced by them too and he casually cursed like “oh fuck” and everyones like 😃😆) even i curse and im not saying cursing is BADD but yeah i am, and how they sing a whole song in english, not to even mention how toxic america is but in grammys they have sold tons of albums yet they didnt win anything but when they release an english song, they won.

Some half of them americans are very toxic, racist, and just theyre basically acid, like bruh, its evident that once bts got famous there are soooo much hate thrown towards bts too cuz theyre asians, or how some would say theyre gay or look like girls...if my favs (exo) ever get these kinds of treatments (not that they dint but veryy little cuz thank god they ain exposed to the western culture) i will B R E A K, i could never handle that so i would never want that to happen to them. Also noticed how, after bts got famous, most armys are equally as toxic, whether they are just stanning bts just cuz theyre famous there, or like how their fans dont even know anything abt bts and coming after so many groups and their fans. Most of them are fake and i think its cuz of the fame for bts lmao. One thing i’d like to say too tho, is how they are so overrated and their songs are played all the damn time, people would randomly talk abt them, like everywhere you go THEY ARE JUST THERE, like in my opinion if i am an army, i would just feel like they are so common and theres nothing special about them anymore and theres no excitement, like what even is the point anymore. idk if anyone gets me but thats just how i feel about my favs being “wOrLdWiDe fAmOuS”, i will love them and their music but its just something i think about tbh🤷🏻‍♀️ like let me listen to them on my own and vibe and love them, dont play it 24/7 just cuz they are famous and ure tryna get people’s attention, like imagine ure in the subway and u hear ur favs song cuz its EVERYWHERE and ure there like 😐😐 not that u dont love their music but its cuz horrible people dont deserves to listen to their songs, and like people arent going to appreciate them anyway so yeah i feel uncomfortable listening to my favs as others dont even bother, like imagine if that subway is filled with people who are in ur fandom, yall would just hv the best time in the world and VIBE, if not what even is the point. Idk if im explaining it properly, but its badically like, u feeling UNCOMFORTABLE or should i even say SELFISH cuz u do not want to be sharing ur favs with people who dont even deserve to KNOW about them. Basically like seeing how someone you HATE or bullied you back then talking and being all friendly fake with ur BESTEST FRIEND or even boyfriend/girlfriend, cuz u just want to protect them from EVIL (im so dramatic)

And well lastly, no Bts did not paved the way, or “bts is the best and only group” like no, so many amazing artists were breaking records way before bts was even a thing (no hate to bts) but they really need to get slap for having that mindset, they really make a bad image for bts...tbh kpop before was so peaceful (a little toxic but still, compared to now...BYE) and everything was just about idols and fans love, listening and supporting and loving their music and just so comforting... urgh anyway thats all i wanna say and here are some texts i saved relating to kpop groups going famous worldwide uwu

these are also examples, and honestly speaking here, i dont want to be specific as in “exo” cuz i think this happens for ALL the groups out there and the love and relationship between the idols and their fans (family) are just beautiful, but for bts and armys... tbh i feel bad because i just dont see or feel any love they hv for each other (sure we see bts saying i love you armys or armys supporting bts but with all the toxicity in their way, theres just no spark or chemistry or bond no more it’s basically like one direction and their fans and thats all they are, celebrity-fan, but for kpop its family), i can see other groups and their fans interacting or how idols would light up talking abt their fans, but for bts, theres just soooo much mess going on in their fandom its not special anymore, they lost the deep meaning of their group love and IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT but YEAH DJSHSKSJ OH and to add somethign else, they got famous in America, look at all the collabs🤡🤡 blackpink with cardi b, bts with nicki etc... not that collabs arent fun... im just saying these american artists... they dont exactly have a good reputation (americans singing about sex (not the good kind), money, girls and drugs) 🥴🥴 dont influenced my faves and let them be exposed to the toxic culture YALL GET ME?? KPOP HAS THE LETTER K FOR A REASON😭😭😭 let them be their own shining star, not everything has to be involved or a part of aMeRiCa to be amazing.... PHEW IVE SAID IT NOW BEFORE ANYONE GETS MAD AT ME, I DONT MEAN TO SOUND RUDE TO YOU, if youre an american and youre no where near being toxic, I LOVE YOU but im just saying, the western culture is toxic and im just saying what ive been observing and noticing🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ ps: i still love exo till the max and everything about them is perfect and theyre just amazing people (everything i said that bts and armys dont really have anymore, i think thankfully, EXO (sorry im biased) most fandoms still have so much of the L O V E there and i find that extraordinary) and he fandom is so comforting and amazing and idk dkdjjdjss thats why i dont want them getting famous worldwide...sorry exols ANYWAY THATS ALL FOR MY RANT ITS 4AM AND I AM THINKING OF DELETING THIS💀💀💀 anywya sorry for taking up so much space but i just wanna say I FREKAING LOVE NO EXIT, NO LIMITS, basically all ur exo fics cuz why not🥺🥺 i think ur writing skills are amazing as well as the plots and all especially forsaken, and THANK YOU for two bbhxoc fics😭😭😭 i cant!!! also if u reached here idk i-🥲 i hope u didnt get mad or offended 👀

Reply under the cut!!

Kpop has become extremely toxic with the growth of international fans and the rise of 3rd/4th gen. I wasn't around to experience the previous generations, but I know damn well they weren't a mess like these newer ones are.

Gaining fame in America does seem to change idols, and idk why. The group members change and the music changes also. While I do enjoy hearing idols swear (guilty pleasure) and I am an American so I get to enjoy their English songs, I can see how it makes all the other cultures/countries feel some type of way.

I will say this, though, the Grammys are shit and I dont get why people care so much about them. They've proven time and time again the awards don't go to the best artists. However, this doesn't mean that I think BTS deserved a Grammy imo.

Americans are a very toxic and hate filled bunch (again, I am one, so I get to see this shit every day). I 100% know that some of the hate directed towards Asians is because of racism (as seen by the insane uptick in crime against Asian Americans right now) and because some see kpop male idols as too feminine.

BTS is literally everywhere, which is one of the reasons I stopped listening to them tbh. They'd be in commercials, on talk shows, late night shows, in magazines, on the radio, just everywhere. It took the joy out of watching anything from them just because they were always in my face, so I can see what you mean.

I feel like the relationship between BTS and army has changed (from an outsiders perspective). Its no longer about loving and supporting your group and being happy for them. Now, its "so-so wants this? We MUST do everything in our power and spam every possible thing ever so they get what they want". Its almost frightening. They also no longer care about the quality of the music being put out. Doesn't matter what it is, they stream the ever loving shit out of it and make it break records when, honestly, it doesn't deserve to (again imo).

Lastly, I didnt get mad or offended haha. I understand a lot of these viewpoints, and thank you so much for liking my work!! I do wonder what would happen if I made a true BBH centric fic and not just spin offs or continuations of previous works where oc ends up with BBH 🤔🤔 I think that fic would have too much power haha.

[peacedolantwins]

Clean Part 5 (E.D)

So this one is pretty long compared to the last part and theres actually some more plot 

warnings: mentions of past drinking 

A few weeks had passed and every time you would think about telling them, you would freeze or you would be cut off by one of them talking about something else as you were about to speak. You were trying, but the timing was always off.

At this point their fans knew you two were together. Some of them supported you two and thought you were cute together, while others saw you as annoying and just using him for god knows what. While you tried to pretend it didn't bother you, it still did. You were just thankful you had deactivated all your accounts on social media before any of this started. It was easier to avoid the hate when no one could tag you or find out more about you.

When you would check twitter or Instagram, you usually just used James account to scroll through things when you were bored. You saw the edits people made of snaps taken of the two of you, but you never really looked at them. You were happy with your relationship and you knew who you were, you didnt need drama accounts to over analyze anything you did.

As you quickly found out, their fans are quite the detectives. Within the first few days of the first picture of you two being out, they were able to find out that you were actually friends with James and Ian. They had somehow managed to find that out even though they had no idea what your name was or even a full photo of you. The picture that had been posted was only of the pair of your guys legs sitting next to each other in the pool and they managed to figure you out just from the small flower tattoo on your ankle.

It was slightly frightening to be honest. You were scared what they would find if they kept digging. What if they somehow found all the old videos you tried so hard to escape from? What if one of the people you used to consider friends still had photos of you when you were at your absolute worst? You tried not to think about it too much, but the thought was always there.

~~

Everyone had decided to go to Disneyland to film a video, and while you were okay staying home, they all insisted you went along. Since they were filming, you considered them to be working so you only agreed if Ian and his girlfriend could come along so you could still have someone else with you.

Well that was the plan anyways.

Within an hour of being there, Ian and her left the group to go off on their own, which essentially left you alone. Today had started feeling slightly… off. You were just easily upset and bitter for no reason and you knew there was no reason to feel like that. Technically, everything was okay with you. But now being ditched and left to follow around the group was starting to get on your nerves.

Maybe things would have gotten better if you had been able to spend more time with James during the day or been able to go on the rides with your boyfriend, but seeing as they didnt bring anyone else to film for them, you were stuck sitting alone while they sat together and had you film them when they needed wider shots. It wasnt exactly how you had planned on this day going, but there wasnt a whole lot of options left.

Not only did you end up filming for them, but you also turned into their photographer when they ran into fans. After asking them for a picture, they just handed you the phone and had you do it. Not even a “do you mind?” or a “thank you” after you finished but it was fine. Its okay. Its not that deep and you knew you needed to get over yourself.

When a few girls had come up to ask for a photo, you were handed two seperate phones. ‘Cant they just send the picture to each other?’ you thought to yourself before taking the pictures anyways. After, you saw one of the girls trying to take a picture of you without you noticing but you saw anyways. The group had already started walking away when you went up to the girl.

“Hi, excuse me, do you mind not posting the picture you took of me?” You tapped her arm to get her attention.

“Y/N-” Ethan noticed you were gone and that you were talking to the girl looking slightly upset.

“Are you serious? I have a right to some privacy here and I dont want photos of me out there all I’m asking is that you dont post the fucking picture okay!” Why wouldnt she just say she wouldnt post it? What was so hard about that? You were already having a shitty day and this girl was just adding fuel to the fire going on inside you.

“Y/N! I’m so sorry about that, you two have a nice day,” You felt Ethans hand grab your arm and pull you away from them.

“Babe, you can’t talk to them like that, okay?” He said to you while still holding onto you and going back to the group.

“Get your fucking hands off of me!” You shook off his hand and started walking away. You had expected your boyfriend to tell them not to post it, but instead he told you something instead. Unbelievable. You had gone off to one of the close by benches and took a seat before taking out your phone.

Ethan had tried to go follow you, but James stopped him when he saw you taking out your phone and holding it up to your ear. “Give her a minute E. What even happened?”

“I dont even know, I turned back to see her yelling at those girls over a picture and I didn’t want to start any drama so I pulled away and here we are,” he sighed and looked around.

“Ethan, what did she tell them? Word for word?” Now James looked concerned and it was worrying him.

“Just something about a photo of her and privacy and ‘not to fucking post it’,”

“Did they say they wouldnt post it?”

“James why does that matter?”

“DID THEY OR NOT ETHAN?” James was yelling now. He had heard Ethan calling your name while you were still with those girls, and he now knew why you were so pissed if those girls now had your name and photo of you. Sure all of them had taken a few photos with or of you, but they were usually all from behind, maybe the side of your face and they made sure not to have your name out there. If there was a photo of you all together, you usually had your face hidden or you slapped a sticker emoji on top. You didnt want anyone from your past being able to recognize you.

“I dont know, okay?” Ethan knew you didnt let them post pictures of you, but he didnt think it was that big of a deal. So one person has a picture and if it gets posted, then maybe a few people see it after it gets lost in the tags.

During all of this, Grayson had decided that this conversation was not something he wanted to be part of and left to grab a churro for you when you came back, knowing you had a thing for sugar. While he passed by you, he overheard part of your conversation with whoever you were on the phone from. Apparently you were talking to some guy named Josh about how bad your day had been going. He knew you could be friends with whoever you wanted, but something seemed off. He decided to leave it alone for now. He also felt his phone go off and saw that James had tweeted.

“If you took a picture with us today and took a picture of my friend without her permission, PLEASE DO NOT POST IT. RESPECT HER PRIVACY.”

You went back to the group and everyone noticed that your mascara had smudged a bit but decided against saying anything. Pulling you off to the side, James took out the beauty blender he had in his bag and got to fixing you back up while talking to you in a hushed voice.

Ethan felt horrible. You had all come out today to have a nice day together but that didnt seem to be happening at all. Not only did he manage to piss you off, but once he was that you had been crying it crushed him. He was supposed to be making you feel good and happy but he wasnt doing a good job it seemed.

“Hey Y/N, I got you something,” Grayson handed you the churro, which seemed to be missing a few bites that your raised your eyes at but accepted nonetheless.

“Thank you,” you smiled at him and took it. “I’m actually gonna go ahead and go find Ian. I called him and he’s going to let me third wheel with him, so I’ll meet up with you guys when were leaving.”

You gave Gray a quick hug, not noticing him looking at you strangely. When did you call Ian? You had been talking to some guy named Josh a few minutes ago? He decided to leave it alone and would talk to you about it later, not wanting to start anything if it was over nothing. But why would you lie about who you called?

“Sweetheart, you dont have to go, stay with us.” Ethan wrapped his arms around you, not wanting you to leave.

“Hey, its okay. You guys are technically working, so I'm just gonna let you finish. I’m sorry for how I talked to that girl we can talk about it later, okay? You guys just have fun,” You gave him a quick peck on the lips and said bye to everyone before walking off to find Ian.

Sure you had planned on spending the day with your boyfriend, but turns out third wheeling wasnt so bad. It meant more turning power for the spinning teacups with all three of you. You all crammed yourself into the carriage for the haunted mansion, and you all obnoxiously sang along to ‘its all small world’ much to the rest of the passengers dismay. You had to sit alone for most of the other rides, but it was okay because you knew once you all got off, it would be like you were all friends just together. There were no phones being handed to you for pictures, no camera to hold to get a wider angle and you were finally having a good time.

When you finally met up with everyone else around 10 o'clock to head out, they were surprised when they saw the three of you. You all had gotten matching mouse ear headbands, Ian included, and you were carrying five of those giant light up balloons that had the mickey outline in them.

“Babe, what's with all the balloons?” Ethan finally asked after you said hi to everyone and they just stared at the giant bouquet of balloons.

“Well one is mine, then I got one for Gray since he got me a churro earlier, then I figured I should get you one too, but then I didnt want to leave Emma or James out so here we are. Five balloons. And Ian and his girlfriend already have theirs.” You said with a smile and held out your hand that held all the strings.

“Pick a different one bitch that ones mine,” you pulled them away when James tried to take the color you wanted. “Plus Grayson gets to pick first since he gave me food.” You held it out and let him pick.

“You're not gonna let your boyfriend pick first?” Ethan looked at you with a pout.

“Mmm… nope.” You said, but you went and put one arm around him.

“Traitor,” he muttered under his breath as he pulled you closer to his side. After everyone had their own balloon, you finally all headed towards the gates. The day might not have started off great, but it got better and that was something you were happy about.

“So, are we good?” Ethan asked you quietly as you walked by his side.

“Hm? Oh, sure but I still wanna talk about it if thats okay?”

“Of course, at the house or in the car?”

“Well everyone is still coming with us in the car so…” as much as you wanted to talk about it, you didnt want everyone else listening in.

“Hey James!” Ethan yelled at James since you two were in the back of the group.

“What bitch?” He turned around to see what he wanted.

“Can Gray and Emma ride with you?”

“Oh no sweetie, you think I want four other people and five giant balloons in my car? You take them,” he sassed back.

“I'll take the balloons with us, just take them with you.” After a moment of thinking James replied with a harsh “fine” and it was settled.

After taking everyones balloons back with you, it turns out trying to shove seven of those balloons in the jeep was a lot harder than either of you thought it would be and it was probably a safety hazard to drive since you couldnt see out of any of the back windows. Once everything was as good as it was going to get, you headed back towards James house.

“So what happened today?” You had barely made it to the first light when he asked.

“Damn we’re getting right into it, okay than… how honest do you want me to be with you?” You took in a breath and slowly let it out.

“One hundred percent babe,” he reached over and took your hand in his.

“Okay, want me to be real or sugar coat it for you?”

“Um, real?” He sounded as if he didnt know which would be better to hear.

“Fine. I didnt want to come today with you guys when James first asked. Like at all. Today was just a shitty day and I dont know why, but I woke up and everything just felt off. But then he invited Ian and Loren along so I still had someone to talk to while you guys filmed, but then they ditched us,” you turned in your seat to face him a little bit more. “I knew that today wasn't going to be a ‘hey lets just all fun at disneyland’ kind of day since you were all filming and working, but it would have been nice to have some fun with you while we were there,” you started messing with your joined hands and playing with his fingers as you spoke.

“Ethan, I came with you guys as a friend, not your camera person or your guy's personal photographer. Do you realize that the most you paid attention to me was when you got mad at me for how I talked to that girl? Not once did we go on a ride together. Hell, one time I didnt even go on one since the cart was full but you guys decided to get that one anyways and made me wait for the next one and you all didnt even care and that was pissing me off. I didnt come to be ignored by my friends, and I get it, you're working but you could have been with me when the camera wasnt on but you didn't. I tried to talk to you a few times but you kept ignoring me,” you said that last part quietly, getting reminded of your last relationship and how that went.

“I just wanted to spend some time with you and my friends today as I tried to make the best out of a shitty day, but that didnt happen. Everything just became too much for me and I snapped. So I figured I might as well third wheel because it was better than trying to fifth wheel with you guys.” You finished and waited for him to say something.

The silence was killing you as you watched him drive. He still hadnt said a word and he pulled into a parking lot and parked the car.

“What are we-” He turned to face you as you started speaking.

“Baby, I am so sorry. I wish you told me something earlier, and if you tried to, I'm sorry that I wasnt listening. We never meant to make you feel left out,” He turned in his seat and was faced you, taking both of your hand in this much larger ones. “And sweetheart I am so sorry that I grabbed you the way I did,” he looked genuinely upset with himself for grabbing you earlier.

“It's okay-”

“No, its not Y/N. I shouldnt have grabbed you like that ever. Thats not how you treat someone you care about it.” He noticed a few tears slip down your face when you looked away so he gently turned your face back to him and he wiped them away with the pads of his thumbs.

“Sorry that I'm crying so much today,” you tried to laugh it off.

“Babe, you cry if you want to, but let me in please? Whats going on in that head of yours?”

“It's just a lot of stuff from before I moved here, the way I was living before wasnt good and something I like thinking about too much… can we not talk about it right now? Maybe when we get to the house because if I’m going to do tell you, I’d rather not do it in a Target parking lot surrounded by light up balloons.” You laughed a little to try to lighten to situation a little bit.

“Of course sweetheart,” he grabbed your hand and gently brought it up to his face and placed a kiss on the back of your hand before letting go and starting the drive back to James’s house.

“Took you two long enough, bitch ass,” James greeted you as soon as you walked in.

“Fuck off, we literally saw you guys at the light before us,” you sassed back at him. On a more serious note, you turned back to him and Ian, “I’m gonna go talk to Ethan for a bit okay? I’ll let you know if I need you.”

Both of them nodded, understanding what you were talking about. You had mentioned recently about wanting to tell Ethan everything, having decided on telling your boyfriend first, then Grayson. You knew both of them together would not go well considering how loud they could get and how overwhelmed you would get with both of them trying to talk over each other. Separate would be a lot easier.

“You can go home if you want Gray, I’ll just stay here tonight,” Ethan tossed Grayson the keys.

“Actually, I think it would be better if you stayed, for a little bit anyways.” Both of the boys looked at you confused. Pulling Ethan down a little bit, you whispered to him, “I just dont know if you’re going to want to stay after I tell you everything.” He looked at you now completely worried but nodded anyways.

“OH! We should play Mario Kart for a bit!” Emma yelled out, already heading towards the living room. Well, that was one way to get everyone to stay for a little bit. Turning back to him, you grabbed Ethan’s hand and lead him up the stairs to your room and shut the door behind you. Both of you sat on the bed in silence.

“You’re kind of worrying me here, Y/N” He looked at you to see you folding a blanket over your legs that were crossed under you. You had also taken a pillow to play with in your lap.

“Sorry, I dont mean to. If I’m going to tell you everything, will you promise me something?” You looked up at him and when he nodded, you continued on. “Let me finish talking before you start asking questions? I’ll answer whatever, but just- I need to get it all out first, okay?” He nodded again.

“Okay,” you sighed and mentally prepared yourself, “okay, so theres no way to ease into it so here we go. I’m an alcoholic. Was an alcoholic. Whatever you wanna see it as, but I had a really bad drinking problem before moving here. It’s one of the reasons I moved here with James. I needed to get away from everyone judging me back home.” You looked at him and saw him trying to hide how shocked he was but you saw it anyways.

“When James moved out here, I ended up alone. He was pretty much my only friend, which was weird considering I’m older than him, but when he left, I didn’t really have anyone else. A few months later, I ended up dating this guy, who had a bunch of friends and along the way, they became my friends. One night, he took me to a party and there was so much there. Beer, wine, shots, whatever, it was there. And sure I had had a drink before that, but nothing too much. Never enough to even get me drunk or tipsy. But there, as stupid as it sounds, everyone was doing it so I figured why not and started doing shots with the other girls. I woke up the next day feeling awful but later that night we went to another party, and this time I only had a few but-” you took a deep breath, still looking down at your lap. “But, that didnt last long. It just became a cycle for us. School, party, school, party, then somewhere along the way it became drinking just at home, in the school parking lot, and I was drinking whenever. I didnt need the parties anymore, but I still went and oh god, there’s still a lot that I have no idea what happened.” You felt him shift on the bed. You couldnt tell if it was closer or away from you and you were scared it was the latter.

“It got to the point where I would have blackouts. I had no idea what happened the night before but my friends usually had some videos. I don’t know who else has any, but the ones I saw- its me doing shot after shot, me dancing way too inappropriately for a public setting, me stripping in front of everyone, theres photos of me in bed with my ex and theres still so much I dont know. What used to be me counting the days between drinks turned into me not remembering the last time I hadn’t had a drink.”

“I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend for different reasons but once I did that, I lost my drinking source. I was only 20, I couldn’t exactly go get any on my own so I,” deep breaths remember, “I would still go to bars if I could get in and I would let whoever buy me a drink- drinks and sometimes that was enough. Along the way word got out to the guys I knew that I was an “easy lay” if you bought me enough drinks, which to be completely honest, wasn’t a complete lie. I didn’t really care how I got my drinks as long as I got them. A few of those guys also had pictures, some are pretty bad, some are just us making out, but theyre out there. And when I turned 21, let me tell you, things got so much worse. One day, I had been drinking at home while my parents were gone and I passed out.” Playing with the pillow seemed to be most interesting thing while you could feel Ethan’s eyes burning into your head.

“I woke up in the hospital. Alcohol poisoning. It wasn’t until I saw the look on my parents faces that I realized how messed up I was. Seeing them look at me with just pure… disappointment, disgust, shame, pity, worry, it made me realize that I couldn’t be doing that anymore. I could have died and I didn’t want to keep wasting my life like that anymore.”

“The detox was absolute hell. Withdrawal was… awful. I was throwing up, shaking, I couldn’t sleep, my head was constantly pounding, and I’m not going to lie to you, I would relapse. Drinking would make all of that go away, but coming back from it was harder each time so I got into rehab. It was the only way to completely keep me away from it so I could get better. I was there for three months and at first it was horrible. Withdrawal came back harder than before and there was nothing I could do to make it go away but once I got past that, it got easier.” You glanced up for a second but you couldn’t make out the expression on his face.

“I started learning piano since they had one there. It was something to distract myself with. I called James to let him know what happened and that, that, didnt go well. He didn’t talk to me for a while, which I get. He was worried I had been around Ian while I was like that so I don’t blame him. He never knew about anything that went on back home since he never came back to visit. I dont blame him or anyone else for this, I know it’s all my doing. No one ever forced me to drink or do anything, it was all my own choices.”

“Once I got out, it was hard. I was going to meetings. I’m still going to meetings here. One day at a time ya know? But over there, everyone remembered me as I was before. I was just the party girl who drank too much and slept with who ever. No guy would be want to be seen with the girl that had been with everyone. Then someone posted pictures and it got worse. I deleted all my social media so I couldn’t get tagged in anything. I dont check anything because I dont want to see if anyone has posted anything. Even going to the store people would look at me and judge me because everyone apparently knew what happened. So when I was talking to James one day, he asked if I wanted to move out here with him. Ian had told him how hard being home was for me and while I was pissed because I didnt want him pitying me or dealing with the mess I made for myself but after some talking we decided I was coming here.” You looked around your room, proud of how far you had come from where you used to be.

“A few weeks later I was finally here, I took care of what I needed to to be sure I would stay on track and then I was officially moving in and then-” You finally looked up at Ethan and reached out for his hand, “then I met you and Grayson and Emma and things kept getting better and well… that’s where were at now. So there it is. I get it if you don’t want to be around me anymore. It wouldnt be good if one day those videos came back up and you were still connected to me and I dont want you getting dragged into my mess. So if you want to go, it’s okay.” You smiled at him even though you were close to tears. If he did leave, you would be a mess but you knew you would get through it eventually. You didnt want to drag him or his brother down with you because of your decisions so it was easier to let them both go now before things got more serious than they already were.

You felt his hand leave yours and you looked up to see him looking at you with a look you couldnt explain. When he got up from your bed and started walking towards the door, you felt your heart breaking.  When he walked out, you could hear him going down the stairs and a few minutes later you heard the front door close and a car start up and you could actually feel your heart shatter. Turns out James was wrong about him staying.  

Tags: @thetallassgirl @notanotherdolantwinsblog

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 7- “#MarshmallowMoves”-Landen

I can't tell if I'm in trouble or not. They voted out Nick, which is something I really really didn't want to happen. Kevin is acting strangely towards me. The only person I feel like who is being genuine with me right now is Dan. I'm not sure if I should keep pretending that everything is fine, but I'm pretending that the last vote didn't bother me. 

1 hour and 33 minutes later

I hope the relationships I made before that disaster of a vote are real still. That's all I'm hoping.

Today's immunity challenge is a luck challenge. There is no way to be "good" at rock-paper-scissors unless you are playing real-time. For this reason I have chosen to use random.org for all of my guesses. I hope that luck is on my side with my matchup. Also, I went to Potions Class today and looked in some cauldrons. No potions left behind. Thinking I will try luck potion tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be lucky and get an idol. Probably not. 

YAYYYYY!  Another week with no tribal and I am very thankful because the one we had was wild and I don't have to deal with anything like that again for AWHILE!  I should be staying up to search right now but I am about to head to bed and then make my search time earlier for tomorrow, woohoo! I feel like after tribal something like a merge might happen?? maybe? I feel like it should be about time! 

so Hufflepuff won (YET AGAIN!) and I'm feeling pretty great about that! there's not much to discuss about the actual events on this tribe, it's pretty much same old same old positioning. like stale cardboard! however, we got an exciting little hint of something at the immunity challenge today. it seems like there's going to be something coming up after tribal tonight, and particularly, i would guess that it will be a merge. of course i could be wrong and we could be thrust into another swap (a horrible outcome, really) but i'm hoping it's a merge. i've had a lot of paranoia about what would happen during a merge ever since the messy Jess rocks vote, so i just am excited to get it over and done with!! that being said i'm also not just like, throwing myself to the wolves of fate or something. i've also been doing planning ahead and thinking about the merge. specifically, i'm trying to calculate where numbers might go. right now, we have a group that is configured like this: -5 hufflepuff -4 Ravenclaw -3 Gryffindor -1 Slytherin (i know, crazy... and it's my least favorite one. UGH!) obviously, this puts a liiiiittle eensie teensie tiny target on the hufflepuffs' back, now doesnt it? and that's not very cute for me, someone who is very much IN hufflepuff - has had no time to form the strong relationships that kevin has with the other side - has burned the 1 ravenclaw and probably 1 of the gryffindors here on this tribe - and hasn't done any looking for spells! no, no, thats not very bueno at all, i'd say. of course, everything could be shaken up if kevin is taken out, but i'm not expecting that. it'll probably be a jacob or autumn boot.. i'm praying for a jacob boot but who knows. honestly just taking out that wildcard, one who is very fitting to his house mascot as a snake, that's something that would be VERY appreciated. i know i can't trust him after our experience in 2020 and it's not just bc i hold a grudge it's because i know the type of player he is, and that's not a type of player i can work well with in this game. Anyway, this brings us into the question of what the hell i am going to do to survive at the merge, and honestly, i have no fuckin clue. the good news is i do not think juls would be on board with a plan to vote me out, or at least she would do her best to vouch for me. as soon as we merge my sights will be set on autumn, too. i need to secure her loyalty and form a strong friendship with her, she's always seemed like a cool person and i wanted to do it anyway, but knowing i need to have her and juls on my side, makes this bond even more crucial. The bad news is Owen on this tribe, is a VERY dangerous player, will come into the merge with an army of 3 strong fellow Ravenclaw, and, last but definitely not least concerning - he comes into the merge with a strong relationship with Ruthie. This is VERY bad for me, because I know that if Owen decides to get Ravenclaw to target Hufflepuff and for some reason the Gryffindors (or potentially Jacob, if Autumn gets targeted, or even worse, Jacob AND autumn if Kevin goes home), he won't be going for Ruthie. If he's not going for Ruthie, he's not going to go for Lily, not to mention I highly doubt the Gryffs will go for her anyway because she's so lovable. Having Lily as my closest ally is a risk/reward, because when I enter the final rounds like 8, 7, 6, etc, she will be a HUGE shield for me and someone that will take off a lot of the heat on my name. But i need to get there, and that means i can't get taken out for being an extra vote for her during the early stages of the merge, i have to find my own way to survive. There is always the possibility they would target Max, but I have to be VERY careful in just assuming this, because i also know Max is probably going to look like a tempting goat to most people. he's not very great socially (at least individually) and he's not very active with his mom kinda grounding him all the time, like he just looks like an OTT goof and he'll probably come across as easy to manipulate once his ally Landen gets blindsided! I'm very worried that'll be the perception. So i need to start taking action now to make sure this early merge doesn't go down a dark path i see as a possibility. Step 1. Owen and Ruthie, Today. This is CRUCIAL. I am going to talk to Owen about game today whether he likes it or not, I'm going to drag it out of him and i'm going to fight like hell to get him to trust me even a little bit. I know I can be a good social player and I KNOW i can talk convincing game, but I also know Owen is very good at social skills and reading me so it's going to be a bit of a cagey death match with this one. I need to make sure Owen feels good about me moving forward into the merge and that I can "repent for my Sins" so to speak after basically throwing him up for crucifixion during the Jess boot round. If I can get owen into the idea of possibly an alliance of me, him, and ruthie, then maaaaybe i could protect myself a bit from him. perhaps i could also very subtly hint that lily is the one that's been coming after him harder than i have, i have to be careful with that because if it gets back to her i'm fucked, so i'll keep an eye out on the conversation and see how the tide's going and if it's worth hinting at. i also need to discuss with Ruthie and figure out what her other pregame relationships are, and see where we can get ins. I know being honest and open game talk with Ruthie earlier is what got her trusting me a bit more, so I want to just expand on some of the personal stuff I've been building on with her in the past couple days and just really start hitting the game talk home. Step 2. Max and Chips. If i can drive this wedge further, it would be faaanfuckintastic. I need to re-iterate to people that I DONT got Max's back. If people start pushing the narrative of me and max as a thing, or me as a hufflepuff strong person just because of the jess round, i'm screwed. so i'm going to have to be very careful to Make sure everyone knows exactly how willing I was to cut Max. When i get to the merge, the FIRST thing i'm going to do is literally have like, an hours long call with Kevin. I want to establish to him that i'm his extra number, his goat, his whatever he needs. I want to tell him how i was ready to sacrifice Max, i want him to give me ALL the details. Of course if Kevin goes home before the merge this is going to be a million times more difficult and so that brings me to Chips, my key plan today besides working on Owen is going to be to work on Chips. I don't want to give Chips too many promises I don't plan to keep because I don't see myself working with him super long-term, but I do want to Get a better read on him. Right now Chips is just an enigma to me and I need to get into his head, maybe at least get him to open up a *little* bit more, bc our game relationship right now is just a mess, he's so hard to talk to about these strategic things at times, even before the jess boot but especially after. as far as the other people go, the ones i didn't mention - owen's ravenclaw buddies, joanna, jules, and dan - who's to say they're even really tight with owen! I'll be curious to meet them, specifically Jules is someone that strikes me as someone I'd get along with. I also see a lot of potential for me to get along with Dan but we'll have to see on that one. I'm going to try to work on my relationships with Ravenclaw once I hit the merge too, but I'm gonna be careful because if I come on too strong, they'll consider me even more of a threat and that'll give them more of a reason to target me instead of Lily or Max. i know i'm in a precarious position and that's not even to mention spells, but I'm really trying to think over every angle here, and i think with some luck on my side and hopefully, some Kevin on my side, i can utilize kevin, lily, juls, and max as tight shields for my game, and continue working my way through the middle to make it alllll the way to the end. #MarshmallowMoves. i know this was an ESSAY so thanks for sticking it through. i really hope i don't write all this for nothing, because i'm starting to get excited that the big leagues are almost here, it's finally time for me to stop winning immunity every single round and actually experience the game, and i would hate for it to get cut short so soon. Game on wizards, cus this honey badger DONT care! >:D *flashes my claws but not in a furry way* haha thanks. bye ^_^ <3 

So..... once again, I lost a BEST FRIend to ROCKS! I swear I’ve got some kind of curse. Every time people have gone to rocks for me in games, it’s always my closest ally that leaves. And this time is no different :( I’m so sad Jess is gone, but I know she’s rooting for me, and that’s what will get me through this. I know I should’ve known better than to leak everything Ruthie said but I really trusted that juls chips and jess would act in their best interest. Apparently it was Landen who told Ruthie..... so I dont know. Maybe I accidentally told Landen the things Ruthie told me!? Or maybe someone else threw me under the bus. Either way, all bets are off now. I want to get to a merge with dan Jules and Joanna and paint a huge ass target on these hufflepuff nerds. I’m boutta hex the shit out of those four til they’re all out of this game. I WILL! Get my revenge for jess. But to do that it’s basically about winning challenges to merge which thankfully we have done. People tried hard on the music video thankfully and then we got lucky with attack defend balance. All I can hope is we MERGE NEXT!!! There’s a bounty on my head and if we don’t merge soon I’m heading to Azkaban :(

I’m soOoOoOoOoOoOo paranoid! I feel like it would be such a good move to get me out this round because I’ve been so loose with my powers. I feel like all it will take is for Jules to want jacob here more than me, tell everyone about my powers, and then have everyone vote for me!!!! Do I just waste powers tonight to make sure that doesn’t happen? Maybe. 

I think jacobs going home :c which is so sad but he’s not really trying, it’s really quiet tho so anything could happen, joanna might still be upset I lied last round and flip things on me who knows !!

Maybe Jacob is actually going home this time? Idk, last time they said Jacob and Nick went home so who knows what these people are telling me.

The good news I pulled off the Nicholas vote. The bad news is we're back at tribal but are we even surprised lmao https://media.giphy.com/media/l4pTsh45Dg7jnDM6Q/giphy.gif the tea is I'm mad but I'm not pissed because I only want people who are down for the cause. It's gonna be all hands on deck once we hit merge and I don't have time for any disloyal non-Hufflepuff people. So Gryffindor constantly losing really means Owen, Chips, and Juls will actually live to see merge, all three of whom I know will join the coalition. Nicholas and Jacob on the other hand would probably link up with Hufflepuff and that's what I don't need. So if we merge tonight, it's a 7-5 breakdown with Hufflepuff being outnumbered. Mind you that depends on everyone in that 7 cooperating with each other but let's be optimistic and assume that everyone recognizes ALL of Hufflepuff is still in the game. And if you ain't Hufflepuff, you can and will get snuffed so don't fall for the hype at merge and any member of Gryffinclaw who does is dead to me. Ok now Imma need y'all to go ahead and merge us thanks

IT BETTER BE MERGE!!!! IT BETTER BE MERGE~!!!!!!

I can't remember if I wrote one of these or not this round so here is another... Things are quiet on the Hufflepuff tribe and I'm nervous about the swap that i think is about to happen!!  It has been kind of quiet today. I've talked to Owen a lot and Landen, Lily and Juls a little today.  Being safe is nice but it will be fun to start competing for things individually. If we do merge I am excited to maybe work with Dan.  I want to be on his good side, lol, but he is a good player and I feel like if he doesn't go home tonight he and Owen will single handedly win every individual immunity. 

We won the random.org immunity! I think we will likely merge now that numbers are low enough. You can not find an idol by brewing luck potion. You suck at brewing potions. Duh!

Y’all I’m fucking screaming!!!! I found a third power lmao. I’m gooped! I found the riddikulus charm or something and I had to play a fake advantage at a tribal in order to power it up and I used Raffy’s rat ass to make it happen! I’m not sure what my power is rn but I’ll add it to my vote steal and my idol 😌

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Also on ao3

-----

Chapter 4: The Memes Won’t Stop

You could handle a lot of things nowadays. Annoying customers, your own mistakes, even some dick making a video about a rant you sent him. All of that you could handle perfectly fine, thank you very much!

But this, this was too much. This has to be your breaking point.

Because now there were memes.

Memes were covering your dashboard. Left and right, everywhere you went, all you saw were memes based on the shitty, incoherent rant you sent cogsinthegodshead.

It was combined with other memes, people quote it often, and it became a copypasta with the same level as the fucking Bee Movie.

You were trying to breathe, but the moment you saw a half naked man with the phrase “both of my sticks are erect and ready for your viewing pleasure” is when you lost it completely.

You were about one second away from saying “fuck it” and sending cogsinthegodshead another angry rant when Trollian notified you of a message.

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

GC: HOLY SH1T K4RK4T GC: H4V3 YOU S33N TH1S M3M3? GC: CR4BBY.pdf GC: 1T’S TOT4LLY YOU GC: D1D YOU H4PP3N TO S3ND 4N 4NGRY M3SS4G3 TO TH3 ON3 4ND ONLY D4V3 ST1D3R?

CG: YES, I’VE SEEN THE FUCKING MEME. CG: IT’S AWFUL AND HORRIBLE. CG: AND WHO THE FUCK IS DAVE STRIDER?

GC: 1T’S 4N 4M4Z1NG M3M3 GC: 4ND D4V3 STR1D3R 1S TH3 ON3 WHO SP4RK3D TH3 M3M3 GC: YOU NOW, COGS1NTH3GODSH34D

CG: OH GOD, THAT DOUCHEBAG.

GC: SO YOU’V3 H34RD OF H1M >:]

CG: I GUESS YOU COULD SAY THAT.

GC: YOU GU3SS? GC: K4RK4T GC: YOU N33D TO B3 HON3ST W1TH M3 GC: D1D YOU WR1T3 TH4T R4NT?

CG: THERE IS A POSSIBILITY THAT MAY BE THE CASE.

GC: HOLY SH1T K4RK4T GC: 1 C4N’T B3L13V3 YOU D1D TH4T

CG: IT’S ALL IN THE PAST NOW, SO IT DOESN’T MATTER

GC: DO YOU W4NT H1S CHUMH4NDL3

CG: WHAT?

GC: DO GC: YOU GC: W4NT GC: H1S GC: CHUMH4NDL3 GC: ?

CG: WHO’S CHUMHANDLE?

GC: D4V3’S OF COURS3!

CG: … CG: TEREZI, WHAT ABOUT THAT I THINK HE’S A HUGE DOUCHE DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?

GC: TH3 P4RT WH3R3 D4V3 1S SUP3R COOL GC: 4R3 YOU SUR3 YOU DON’T W4NT H1S CHUMH4NDL3? CG: FUCK NO GC: 1’LL JUST L34V3 1T H3R3 FOR YOU GC: JUST 1N C4S3 GC: TURNT3CHGODH34D GC: BUT W1THOUT TH3 TYP1NG QU1RK

CG: AER;OUFWNKVDRFUWE CG: *FUCK NO*

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] --

GC: H3H3H3H3H3

You find yourself being messaged by yet another one of your friends and wonder if you’re going to be messaged about the exact same thing Terezi messaged you about.

-- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

TA: kk, have you 2een the new meme buzziing around? TA: iit 2ound2 exactly liike you

CG: I CAN’T FUCKING *BELIEVE* YOU ARE THE SECOND PERSON TO MESSAGE ME ABOUT THIS. CG: YES, I’VE SEWN THE MEME. CG: IT’S HORRIBLE AND AWFUL AND EMBARRASSING

TA: are you 2ayiing that you are the one who wrote the rant? TA: holy 2hiit, tha2 amazing TA: ii have to tell tz

CG: DON’T BOTHER; SHE ALREADY KNOWS.

TA: damniit. TA: gue22 iill ju2t go back to programmiing.

CG: NO, NO, NO. CG: YOU GET BACK HERE. CG: SIT YOUR ASS DOWN FIRMLY IN TAHT CHAIR AND GET COMFY CG: BECAUSE I HAVEN’T HAD THE CHANCE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THESE MEMES YET.

TA: go two 2omeone else, liike ga. TA: ii dont feel liike dealiing wiith your problem2 riight now.

CG: FINE. CG: I’LL GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO COMPLAIN TO.

TA: thank2

-- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

You wanted to bang your head on the table. So you did. Until yet another one of your friends decided that it would be a great fucking time to message you.

-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?

CA: wwell you see ivve got these problems CA: romantic problems

CG: OH THANK GOD. CG: YOU’RE NOT MESSAGING ME ABOUT MEMES LIKE FUCKING EVERYONE ELSE. CG: WHAT QUADRANT IS IT?

CA: thats my problem kar CA: im not sure CA: the feelins i havve are all mixin up an confusin me CA: i just dont knoww wwhat im feelin here

CG: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK *I* WOULD KNOW WHAT KIND OF FEELINGS ARE RAMPAGING THROUGH YOUR BLOOD-PUSHER?

CA: i dont knoww youre the romantic expert here

CG: I CAN’T REALLY HELP YOU OUT VERY MUCH IF I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THE FUCK YOUR FEELINGS ARE. CG: OR EVEN WHO THEY ARE FOR.

CA: im not really comfortable sharing wwho my feelins are for right noww CA: i just need some help figurin out what these feelins evven are CA: and howw i should act on them

CG: WELL, I WOULDN’T ADVISE ACTING OUT ON ANY OF YOUR FEELINGS IF YOU DON’T KNOW FOR SURE WHAT THOSE FEELINGS ARE ABOUT. CG: IT WILL JUST GIVE THE PERSON YOU ARE COURTING A SHIT TON OF MIXED SIGNALS. CG: AND THAT’S NOT A GOOD BASIS FOR *ANY* RELATIONSHIP.

CA: i guess youre right kar CA: i still dont knoww wwhat to do

CG: DON’T DO ANYTHING. CG: NOT UNTIL YOU HAVE A BETTER IDEA OF IF YOUR FEELINGS ARE BLACK, RED, PALE, OR ASHEN. CG: ALTHOUGH, IT’S PRESUMABLY NOT ASHEN OR PALE, NOT THAT YOU SPECIFIED VERY MUCH ABOUT WHAT KIND OF ROMANTIC FEELINGS YOU’VE ACQUIRED. CG: BUT YOU DON’T USUALLY COME TO ME FOR ADVICE ABOUT THE CONCILIATORY QUADRANTS. CG: BUT, SERIOUSLY, DON’T MAKE ANY MOVES UNTIL YOU ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. CG: AND ONCE YOU FIGURE IT OUT, MAKE SURE TO KEEP YOUR ADVANCES SUBTLE, ALRIGHT? CG: USUALLY I WOULD RECOMMEND A LESS SUBTLE APPROACH, BUT YOU’RE ABOUT AS SUBTLE AS A TRAIN WRECK. CG: NO OFFENSE.

CA: some taken CA: but i guess youre right as always kar CA: i suppose i can be a little… CA: ovverbearing

CG: THAT’S THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR. CG: ANYWAY, I HAVE YET ANOTHER PERSON DECIDING TO PESTER ME, SO I’LL BE GOING NOW. CG: MESSAGE ME AGAIN WHEN YOU MAKE SENSE OF YOUR CLUSTERFUCK OF FEELINGS.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] --

-- terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

TC: WhAt’s uP My bRo TC: We hAvEn’t aLl uP AnD MoThEr fUcKiN TaLkEd iN A LoNg aSs tImE TC: hOw hAs iT BeEn gOiNg fOr yOu TC: I’Ve jUsT BeEn oVeR HeRe dOiNg mY OwN ThInG TC: jUsT BeEn mOtHeRfUcKiN DoInG WhAt fEeLs rIgHt yOu kNoW

CG: HUH, I GUESS IT HAS BEEN A WHILE. CG: IT’S BEEN GOING OKAY FOR ME. CG: COULD BE BETTER, BUT WHEN CAN’T IT BE BETTER. CG: ANYWAY, GAMZEE, I’M SORRY FOR CUTTING THIS CONVERSATION SHORT, BUT I REALLY SHOULD BE GETTING TO WORK RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

TC: iT’S AlL GoOd mOtHeRfUcKeR

CG: BYE

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] --

You get off your ass and hall over to work. Same old, same old. Maybe after work Kanaya will be up for listening to you rant about the goddamned memes for an hour or so.

You make a note to ask her if anything is wrong or if she wants to talk about anything with you because you have told her about your problems and ranted to her for god knows how long, and you feel bad about possibly neglecting any problems she may be having.

Rose came back to presumably get her dress, which she did end up doing, but she and Kanaya spent way longer than it would have taken simply to get a dress and do transactions. You wonder if the two of them want to become friends or even something more. And if they do decide to pursue something more than friendship, of what quadrant would it be. Most likely a flushed romance, since that is the typically romance humans indulge in, and Kanaya is already taken when it comes to pale romance.

You can’t be completely sure unless you question her about it.

By the end of your shift, you are exhausted but determined to spend some time with Kanaya.

“Hey, Kanaya. Is there anything you wanted to talk about?” You ask her once the store closes.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Anything really. I’ve been talking about my own problems and feelings a lot recently, but I feel like you haven’t really gotten a chance to talk about yours.”

“Oh! Well…” A blush rose to Kanaya’s cheeks. “I suppose there are things I want to talk about, but I did hear about you having a certain distaste for some memes going around?”

“Those memes are a blight on humanity's existence, but I can complain about that later. I suggest we get into the pile and have a good old-fashioned feelings jam.”

“Alright. If you insist.”

The two of you get into a pile of various fabric rolls and threads. Most of it was the cheaper fabrics since Kanaya always made sure that the nicer fabrics were put away properly since they were expensive, and it would be awful to ruin them during a particularly intense feelings jam.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” You ask, holding Kanaya’s hand.

“Let’s see… Where do I begin?”

[sadiiomane10]

headcannons that i wrote with sej but never posted :( but anyway here ya go (1)

when hendo scores that screamer, marko cant believe what he’s seeing, 

“WAS THAT GOAL REAL LORIS WAS IT REAL” “YES MARKO IT WAS REAL

okay loris being like hendo’s gonna score and when he does loris like OH YESSSS I WAS RIGHT and Marko is like….holy shit you genius….

so now marko is totally in awe of loris and they start taking about random shit with interruptions of OO HES GONNA SCORE not, and crying on each other when we conceded, 

marko and loris are #total bros, they are like the same type of person its weird

i can imagine loris being so outraged when we conceded NO NO WHY HIM NOT HIM THIS IS ANNOYING

, AND MARKO IS ALL NOOOO, and getting a little scared at loris’ non chill but hes kinda the same, and there both swearing or something and klopp looks back and grins cus these are his sons, and they totally learnt from him,

 zeljko smacks him on the arm and tells he shouldnt be proud that his footballers are swearing 

okay but klopp jumpping to his feet and opens his mouth to scream and then he just hears this massive FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! and turns around to see loris and marko on their feet and klopp is like….well ok…did my job for me then 

and they see klopp looking at them and they get all shy and embarrassed and sit down and klopp laughs but there back on their feet the next minute,

 LORIS AND MARKO TOTALLY GO ON ROAD TRIPS AROUND ENGLAND TOGETHER, marko has totally found the buddy who’s willing to travel england with him 

 BECAUSE MARKO HAS THE NICEST CARS IN THE WORLD AND LO CHERISHES THEM SO MARKO MAKES HIM HIS ROAD TRIP BUDDY

and its totally like ok like the most lit thing ever and they take so many pics and they have the same taste in music and they take turns driving and stuff,

they totally #bond on there road trips and marko snapchats the whole thing and loris sends emre and sham cool pics, and they come to training with so many stories

and dejan and emre are ultimate bantz bros and dejan is like why didnt u congratulate me on my goal emre 

and emre being all like  pssshhh anyone coulda scored that. hendo had the beauty and dejan scoffing and smiling bye

dejan totally ruffles emre’s hair and everyone else is like how hasnt dejan lost a hand yet.

 cus dont touch the hair dude

klopp worked out that the third kit is a curse and he got sick of loris and emre whining about the disgusting colour, which klopp doesnt get why lo does it cus the dude has to where it all the time, 

but he still moans, and well klopp cant be bothered liistening to it, and he put them away in storage, anything for his fave german sons

Pleeeease klopp the toxic green is horrible to wear 😩😩😩 klopp: loris your kit is grey??? Loris: yeah but emre won’t shut up so I’m suffering too

klopp shakes his head cus he dealt with mario and marco at bvb but these two are wORSE 

And hes like FINE, and tells the kitmen to hide them or something cus he aint putting up with this,and emre is so pleased now he doesnt have to wear it but he teases the fuck outta loris and lo is like im telling klopp to bring them backkkk just for you, 

and emre is proper fiesty on the pitch and loris is like

“really emre picking another fight really”“do I have to fucking babysit u or what. whats ur problem emre”. “he fuckin tried to touch my hair”. “the bitch ill fight him for u”    

GIVE ME MY PHONE LORIS, Wait up em , emre tries to grab it, LAST ONE EMRE COME ON 

que the slap round the head from emre

and lo does it AGAIN but emre doesnt know and for ages emre isnt getting messages everyone thinks he’s giving them the cold shoulder and he’s like??? wtf???? then sees all the pictures which are like different angles of lo’s hair

 cue emre storming into the dressing room everyone like oh shit its going down and emre  just glares at lo and is like “YOU!!!!”

and everyone is like trying not to laugh cus oooo serious shit, and then loris just fucking bursts out laughing and every1 is like ……what and they start giggling too and emre is like USE UR OWN PHONE LORIS , and hes like but ur camera is better, WE HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME PHONE, …….idk man i like ur camera better, 

but really he only does it to make emres life hell

snapchat videos of the game from his angle asdfgh"emre takin out a guy no. 2958"“hey emre say hi!!!” “what are you DOING?…..hey guys [smolder]

LORIS PUT THAT PHONE BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME

emre totes said that him

“WHAT YA GONNA DO? FOUL ME? oh no shit wait i take that back”

loris following emre thru anfield with his camera like “hey guys emre looks good, zooms in super close to his hair, look at that perfection”, emre being affectionatly  annoyed

emre chasing him, loris being like  EMRE NO IM SORRY COME ON, emre getting lo in a headlock and screwing up loris hair 

a lot of people have been asking whats in your bagpack” “no they havent” “ok no they havent but im asking” loris rooting thru like heres emres gel, ‘its wax’ whatever same thing emre, and heres his wallet, ‘leave that aloneee loris’ and heres……  'LORIS LEAAVE MY THINGS ALONEEE’, loris running off with the bag down the hallway, and the sc vid just full of frantic running and giggling and shouts of LORIS YOU FUCKING SHIT GET BACK HERE,

 LORISSSSSSSSS

 AND LORIS TRIPS OR SOMETHING AND THE STUFF GOES EVERYWHERE AND EMRE IS LIKE LOOK WHATS YOU’VE DONE but lo is too high on life and the video ends with p much just having a laughing fitl

and he looks at camera just in tears and like this grumps is angry with me but I DONT CARE and emre trying to grab his things and some of the other lads coming round the corner like whats going and seeing lo pissing himself laughing on the fall makes them laugh and soon there all laughing and emre wacks lo on the arm and laughs to

 and before you know everyone is liking posting videos and pictures of what just happened and the rest of the world is just like???? eh????and they have really cryptic captions like “WAX [crying laughing 

and like some time later they peel themselves off the floor still giggling some and emre is like u alright and lo is like yh and its like nice and not bantery and its all good and so much love 

and yesss everyone is hella confused on social media but this team just full on loves on each so much and its amazing 

everyone loves lo, i cry, 3 months at the club and everyone is already in love with him every1 fave goalie, i bet they randomly turn up at his house and just crash and chill out, cus well he lets them all in and hes super chill and everything 

 he got his hair cut everyone was fighting to touch it

poor dude has noo food left in his fridge, but hendo goes shopping and brings him things when he comes over cus hes a good captain and he takes care of our baby goalie and loris was swooning in the love and they literally made a line the fricking idiots

and just like at really quiet moments when someone’s stood next to him they’ll just reach up and stroke his hair and he’s just like….what you dooooin…

 bet u a million dollors adz did that him, i bet u anything that really happened one time, and lo gave him a look like wtf and adz is like ur hair is so nice and soft and lo is ???……..ok then and adz is like u have the best hair on the team 

and hendo screams over ACTUALLY EMRE HAS THE BEST HAIR ON THE TEAM, que arguments between #married couple no.1 and #married couple no.2

emre being all smug like hah i have the best hair and loris being like nah bitch i do and hendo being lke emre has the best hair and adz being like have u felt lo’s hair its amazing and klopp being like im going back to bvb, where things were normal and my players didnt fight over other peopls hair

god can you imagine like everybody filing in on these four full blown fighting and Milly and studge are like BREAK IT UP cos it sounds so serious and then they hear hendo scream ADMIT EMRE HAS SILKY SMOOTH HAIR!!!!

klopp walks away ashamed with his head in his hands, zelkjo is considering leaving, ads is close to tears, studge is in hysterics, lo pissing himself laughing, emre being like hah bitch i win, and loris walking away like whatev’s dude im still better than u and emre following him cus they need to continue arguing, its their thing,

 hendo being like alright ok dont cry ads and then he cuddles him, 

mils being exasperated and considering a move away from all this hectic mess ,

 they all go back to training but klopp is missing and everyone is like ……..what happened to him and zeljko being like hes prolly packing his bags cus u lot are idiots,

 que scared looks and extra hard commitment to training,

cus kloppo is more important than hair and loris being like see emre u scared off our mananger, and em being like MEEEE u started it , their bickering never stops ,

and hendo goes to find kloppo like a good captain and he’s just in his office ruining a stress balll

really hendo are we fighting about hair in training, hendo blushes and is like …….sorry…..but emre /does/ have the best hair. 

klopp shaking his head like i expect this from the baby germans but u and adam, come on hendo,

 but kloppo he does, yh he does but we dont fight about it in training and dont make adz cry, hes my fave son leave him alone,

 hendo- so ur not running away, klopp shakes his head and laughs cus zeljko honestly, but hendo feels proud cus klopp agrees that emre has the best hair and thats all he wants, 

adz can stick it, but hes not gonna make him cry again, klopp might kill him    

[lolsmurfaccounts]

Most Bizarre League of Legends Puns of 2018

When it comes to coming up with jokes and puns, League of Legends players cannot be outclassed by anyone. There are lots of different types of puns out there especially, so we have gone through the internet with a fine-toothed comb to find the most bizarre, the funniest and the best. These are definitely not the only puns out there for LOL. There are enough of them that you could fill up an entire series of encyclopedias and still need more room.

But these are definitely some of the best ones out there. We’ve also divided them up into eight different categories so that you can choose the ones that you like the best. Some of these are great, some of them are so bad they’re good, but they are all worth reading. Let’s get started.

When Forum Users Are Asked for League of Legends Puns

The first category that we’ve chosen is simply the one showcasing the responses that come when League of Legends players are asked to come up with puns. There are quite a few that have been bandied around the internet for a long time, but what is surprising is that many users are able to come up with some of the funniest puns out there right on the fly.

Part of that is being inspired by the post above you, but some of them are so truly original that all you can do is upvote the post and laugh to yourself. Here is exactly what happens when LOL players are asked to post their best puns in a forum.

I could tell you a zilean of them but I could not be bothered

I’m sure Ziggs would have a blast making some dynamite puns on this thread. Surprised this thread hasn’t exploded with more replies!

Jarvan puns would be Exemplar-y.

Urgot to be kidding me, these jokes are Tibbersable. Half of them are Ireliavent.

C’MON post more!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t want to have posted this thread in vayne.

I don’t Evelyn know what to post…

Dat Ashe

Need to post it in my new twitcher account

My brain Ziggs and Zaggs trying to think of more. I’ve come to think that coming up with a good one is just Lux. Post more pl0x!

Well i think im pretty VIKTORious when thinking up lol puns

Fizz decided to take mid-lane for the halibut.

Yall can follow this horrible thread to your graves

Knock knock. Udyr?

Volibear: Hmm… You might be expecting some un-bear-able pun. I’m going to tear the enemy apart with my bear hands!

Karma is a *****.

Wow let me Ashe you guys a question; what kind of twist of fate put us all here ? Is there Annie answer for that question?

Go Diana fire.

If I post in this thread while in my car, does it could as texting while Draven?

Oh, god why Zyra want to communicate with me using a thornmail im gonna leaf her alone

Kayle yourself.Go Diana hole.This thread isnt really Nasus ary.

We Kennen this right now.

I managed to get away with it though, so at least my efforts weren’t in Vayne.

Alright, this is getting Downright Darius, so I’m gonna leave. (Your leaver status has risen to 1)

The Chinese was A.K.A. Li.

An enemy has been sWain.

Viktor-y.

Gankplank.

Masteryies.

Jokes? I got a Zilean of them!

Urgot to be kidding me!

Annieways, let’s start!

Hey, Anniebody home?

Could i ashe you a question?

TIME to win the Euro Zileans!

Stupid people! They are Phreaking me out, man!

Sivir me Tibbers!

You ** Ashe hole!

I wish you good Lux.

This will work, i Garen-tee!

That TANK will RAMM-US!

This left me SIVIRly disappointed.

Well, that was a nice Twist of Fate.

Annie is pretty hot.

Ashe is cool, but Kayle is divine.

Irelia don’t know what you’re talking about…

Pfft, Lee sin to reason.

Ryze and shine.

Your digging your own Graves.

Udyr challenge me?

Seems like bad Miss Fortune to me.

Dont get Corki.

Cho´gath! Eat my Fizz.

I Garen-tee that you will lose.

All hail the glorious Chairman Maokai.

Man i miss-clicked becouse of thar Twitch.

Maan, you could hear that Ziggsplosion from miles.

I-realy need a nerf mor my W.

Want to get out of elo hell? You gotta Ryze to the occasion.

how do you Darius that computer when I’m not home?

Sona we are doing these puns again…

Vi must stop with the puns!

Long-Form League Puns

Most of the puns out there are really short one-liners. But then we came across people that really must have thought about the puns that they were going to create and then worked to turn all of the puns that they came up with into a coherent paragraph. That was extremely impressive, and it took a great deal of work, so we thought that they deserved their own category.

That’s why we have listed these long-form puns below, so that you can appreciate them in all of their glory – as well as their corniness – by themselves. These are truly the best of the long-form puns. Whoever came up with these should be proud of their work, and if you search for them, you will be able to find the original posts yourself.

Okay… Are you guys for ez-real? This has been done to death, and I Garen-tee that Annie of the puns Urgot have already been used. I mean, there’s a Zilean possibilities, and I’m not just triforcing to get a Ryze out of you, I’m being sincere. Stop with the puns. They’re lane.

This is really lane. Some of you champs needs to Ryze to the occasion. Anivia would have thought this thread would be reborn again. Seriously Brolafs? I feel like I’m going to go berserk if I don’t see some more puns here. I never Everlynn would have thought my hate would have spiked towards you guys like this. It just makes me twitch. I think I’m done with this post, before my endless rage ignited again, I need someone to come stand united with me. I think we’re all on the same team fights here. Bye!!!

But on the other hand, I asked my girlfriend and she said Shyvana keep on making up LoL puns. She thinks they’re a Riot. I swear, she has a Renekton of them. Speaking of my girl, she’s more of just a friend. Our parents just tried to Rammus together. (She’s a Phreak sometimes though, if you know what i mean) But i still Twitch when i think of her in Amumu. Enough of her though. That was irrEvelynnt.

I accidentally Draven to an old lady crossing the street today. But killing is a BIG Nunu, so THERE’s some bad Karma for you. I was scared so i took the body to a river (I didn’t want her to Ryze from the dead)

I Garentee these puns are not funny, I heard a Zilean of them but I always Zed they aren’t funny, in fact, it Lux like they are Aatroxiously not funny. They are Anniething but new, so atleast please make Brand new funny jokes or Elise people will downvote you

LOL Puns So Bad They’re Good

While compiling the puns for this article, we came across lots of bad ones. Some were just bad so they were chucked out, while others were so bad that we couldn’t bear to discard them. They are like some old horror movies – they are so awful, so terribly bad that they are actually good. It is a fine line when something surpasses that mark, but just take a look at these and see if you don’t agree that they need their own cult following.

These so-bad-they-are-good puns are going to make you groan, but you will also remember them later and hopefully, if we have done our job well, they will elicit a chuckle, even against your own better judgment.

I hate Vladimir, he really sucks…

i wouldnt mind these threads if the puns were at least thresh.

OMG that pentakill was Kata-strophic!

I told you not to steal that blue from our AP carry, and now you got killed, it was all bad Karma.

What’s the holdup? Why Ahri waiting?

I ain’t ‘Cho b***h!

Annie’d blue!

Put on some pants. I can see your Ashe.

They need to rename Brand to “Bland”…

Elise you get an assist..

Sometimes I wish this game Ezreal

All this hype is turning out to Fizz!

He needs a Graves because I just destroyed him!

Irelia think this is a bad idea.

Top Ten League of Legends Puns

Okay, so there had to be a best of category. There are a lot of puns out there, and it is really difficult to narrow the thousands that we went through to find the best. However, these are the top ten of the League of Legends puns that we could find on the internet.

You may not agree that these are the best ever (and it is quite possible that there are many that we failed to unearth in our research) but you will almost certainly agree that they are among the best and that they deserve their own category here.

These are the top League of Legends puns, which encompass the really clever, the original and the simply so-true-they-are-funny categories. Let’s take a look at the top ten.

Malphite is once stoned again.

If you’re going to put a blind person in charge of your lottery like Lee Sin you’re going to Miss Fortune.

Teemo and Cho’Gath walk into a bar.. only one of them got hit.

Q: What do you call a Bronze team with Dr. Mundo, Nurse Akali, Surgeon Shen, Kennen M.D., and Soraka? A: Doctors Without Borders.

They should make a League of Legends Broadway show about “Playing Under No Sight” (PUNS). It’d be a play on wards.

If Quinn kills Lucian, is it a hate crime or is it fowl play?

A guy playing top lane, hit 7/7/7; announced in all chat he’d hit the jaxpot.

If I ever achieve 0/0/7 on a support, I steal the next kill. If I get called out on it, I respond ‘license to kill’.

U Vlad bro?

Example of OP Shaco: JAX in the box.

Hilarious Puns from LOL

Sometimes, puns just make you laugh out loud. This is a highly subjective matter, because what is funny (or punny) to one person, might not be to another. So, these might not be as hilarious for you as they were for us. But if you can relate to them, then we’ll bet that they are going to make you laugh out loud as well. Sometimes, the most hilarious ones were the ones that you least expected, and that’s part of what is included here.

But sometimes, it was originality, or a twist on an old pun that was extremely clever. In any case, they are all terrific puns that deserve to be showcased. There aren’t very many of them, because most of the best ones from this category were placed into the top ten instead. Enjoy the few that are here though because they are great too.

Teammate intercepts Caitlyn’s ult right before it hits you, your reaction: “TANK you!”

Undead scientist: SION-tist.

So, there I was eating chicken and Ryze. But it was disgusting, so i threw it in the Thresh.

LOL Puns Straight from the Champion’s Mouth

What about puns that come straight from the champion’s mouths themselves? We found a few of those and they were really funny. They might have been just as funny if someone had else been saying them as well, but the fact that you could imagine your champion saying them was what really distinguished them from the pack. With some champions, you know their personalities so well that you simply can imagine them saying such a terribly funny thing or making a terrific pun.

The creators of these puns knew those champions as well as you and us do, and that’s why we have put them into their own category. These puns are all straight from the mouth of the champion that they are about or are referring to in some way.

Ryze: “Take this scroll and stick it… somewhere safe”

Karthus talking with Anivia: “Do you… feel a chill?”

The mighty Ymir once said: “2 Mushrooms sit in a closet. One tells the other: “There’s not mushroom in here”

Master Yi: “Wuju pass me that potion?”

Rammus: “OK.”

Vayne: “Evil Lux around every corner.”

LeBlanc: “Lux can be deceiving.”

Zilean: “Your TIME has come.”

Garen: “Shut up, we’re losing TIME now….”

Do you even Rift bro? -Kassadin

League Puns in Terrible Taste

Okay, so the fact is, there are some League of Legends jokes out there that are really in terrible taste. For example, there is a joke about Americans not being very good at LOL because they cannot defend their towers. That joke is still unfunny to most Americans so we have not showcased it here. We have also decided to skip the ones that glorify awful things like rape. You might be surprised how many of the puns out there in terrible taste that we simply decided to skip.

But there are also puns that are in terrible taste that are still pretty funny. We think that those puns deserve to be recognized, but that they should come with a warning label so that everyone knows what to expect before they read them. That’s why they have been placed here into their own category.

If you’re swapping main champions; never go from Ashe to Malph.

Why does no one like Annie lategame? Because she’s 18.

Q: What do you call a toxic Thresh that just whiffed his ult? A: A dick in The Box.

Q & A League of Legend Punnery

Finally, we have a category of puns that are sort of Q and A jokes. Most of the good Q & A jokes we came across were included in another chapter of this book. So, we didn’t find very many that were worth including here in this category. However, there were a few and they definitely deserve to be recognized for their originality and hilarity.

These are not usually classified as puns, since they are mostly in joke format, but the pun was there in each of them. Let’s take a look at some of the Q & A puns that we found.

Q: How do you know Alistar is dyslexic?

A: He always goes oom!

What do you do to a toxic Zyra? Repot them.

Q: What do you say when you unintentionally outplay your opponent as Zyra?

A: All plant.

Q: How long does it take to save up enough money for Locket?

A: Aegis

Q: What is the Undead Juggernaut’s religion?

A: Siontology

Q: What do you call it when renekton rushes a chain vest?

A: An In-vest-igator!