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#this is a lengthy answer because its a bit much to explain if you dont know what a system is in the first place
sprltekind · 6 years
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what does endosystem mean?
long answer ahead, yes i know what im talking about im in a system and used to be a syscourser
System: A body that contains two or more people. Also referred to as a multiple. 
Endogenic: A system created without trauma. (this does not mean the system was created without a cause, only that the cause is not trauma.)
so an endogenic (endo) system would be a system created without trauma. theres also mixed systems (systems from varying origins), quoigenic systems (systems who are unsure about their origin, and usually dont care) and traumagenic systems (systems from traumatic origins). i think there are spiritual systems too but im not as educated on those. headmates (aka people in the system) in one system can be from any of these origins, so if youre in a traumagenic system you could also be  quoigenic in origin, or if youre from a mixed system you can be traumagenic in origin.
i myself am from a mixed and probably traumagenic system, being that our headmates are from everything listed above including spiritual/soulbonds, but our actual system formed to help cope with trauma.
most traumagenic systems fall under the DID/OSDD diagnosis (google it, this ones in the dsm) but not all do, ours included.
and so someone who is anti-endogenic systems (anti-endos) would be someone who thinks you need DID/OSDD to be a system. theyre wrong but i dont have time to explain it other than there is no scientific research to back them up and their main argument is “its not in the dsm therefore it must be fake” even though the dsm is constantly being updated also doctors dont care about individuals, they care about diagnoses so of COURSE theyre not putting it in the dsm. but i digress.
oh and i took the first two definitions from non-trauma-headspace which is a good blog for this sorta thing
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faunusrights · 4 years
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OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 18
IN THIS EPISODE OF ROBLOX OOF NOISE:
“Yes.” Glynda couldn’t hang up, not without: “I’m—I’m sorry. About what I—”
“It’s alright. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Okay—” The feed cut. Softly, Glynda said again, “Okay.”
GLYNDA DISCOVERS WHY BEING CINDER FALL SUCKS
do u know how hard it is to wake up and play animal crossing whilst knowing this chapter looms over yr shoulder,
OKAY HERE WE GO
She was fidgety; even Cinder mentioned her pacing, shooting a critical eye her way. Glynda sat, intent on stillness; moments later, Cinder mentioned her bouncing leg.
i LOVE it when a chapter calls me out just right out of the gate hahaha who gave u the right
"Really?" How long had they been doing that? How long ago had Cinder noticed? "Should I stay?"
cinder: maybe i should tell glynda abt that /see glynda pacing a dent into the floor cinder: ooooooor i could. NOT give her an excuse to bully them for something to do,
On her way down the street, Glynda couldn't help but stare at the car, its tinted windows revealing nothing within. As she passed it, she kept glancing over her shoulder, expecting an attack or something. But nothing came of it.
HJGDFSGSDFHKGHJDF GLYNDA,,,,,,,,,,, can u imagine being in the white fang, and sittin in yr fuckin. TINTED WINDOWED like BULLETPROOF CAR and yr sat on yr ass watching out for cinder “dumbass” fall and suddenly glynda goodwitch, The Top Bitch, comes out and starts GLARING YR CAR DOWN,,, like ah. i think she knows we’re here. hrm. hm.
i would just like. drive to mcdonalds and get some nuggies at that point.
She had a clutch of flash-images and a wash of emotions and impressions, the raw materials of memory, stored as-is without refining. She was quite used to that—most of her missions were hazy and rough in her memory, mere sketches of events.
i cant wait for glynda to become a vlogger if only so she can actually have physical proof of whatever the fuck happens whenever she goes out and about. get her a go-pro.
It told her: despite her restlessness, despite the arduous journey here, and despite the way Vale seemed to call for her from somewhere beyond the horizon, she felt quite content to be where she was.
the difference having a gf has huh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, u got a whole ass home (being cased by the fang) a real nice city to live in (its floating and atlas wants yr number) a bunch of unread msgs (from a [redacted] who [redacted]) and its a nice day!!! its all coming together. but probably not for very long,
(i got very distracted at this point making a line graph for the animal crossing stalk market so here we go, x2 edition,)
That meant the nightlife would soon begin. She had never liked crowds; too many people, too much input at once. It was hard to focus, to be comfortable.
/chefs kiss
autistic glynda did u kno: id die for u,
Since she’d blocked Ozpin’s number, there was no chance of receiving anything directly from him—but there was still a moment of pause each time she checked her Scroll, as if expecting his smiling face to appear somehow.
OH YEAH LMAO SHE DID THAT SHIT HUH,,,,,,,,,, i still cannot BELIEVE that happened. GOD. cant wait for this to bite her entire ass right off her body,
By the time she reached the top landing, Winter had replied: “I wasn’t aware that you had additional support on this mission, Professor. I will need their full name and Hunter’s license number.”
To answer Cinder Fall and she doesn’t have a license, but she does have several warrants for her arrest felt like inviting Winter to question not only her integrity, but her sanity as well.
SDHGJFKSKGHDJFGJHDKF i cant say what makes this funnier because 👈😎👈 but HOHOHOHOOOOO could u imagine the fallout if she did just, say that shit. if we just went and fuckin said it like it was no biggie--
Finally, Glynda let her shoulders relax, exhaling deeply, like she would before rushing a Grimm. She wrote it plainly: “The clearance is for Cinder Fall.”
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
MA’AM WHAT THE F U C K
winter rn:
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She’d just have to wriggle her way out of having to talk face-to-face, then return the game to a field she felt slightly more comfortable with: text.
okay this is so funny to me cause i just keep thinking of her sending ‘no reason’ to oz. a MASTER of textual conversion. un fucking PARALLELED in this field, UNRIVALLED,
Glynda tossed a look at the door as well, her mouth pulling into a line; what if Cinder came outside? What if—
Could Winter track her exact position using her Scroll signal? She minimized the projection of Winter’s face and hurried off in a random direction the instant she hit the bottom of the stairs.
i LOVE these two because this is the first time we’ve rly seen glynda like. Actively do smthng to defend cinder in this sort of way? she’s been pretty passivve abt letting cinder take the lead when theyre together but on her own shes thinking of all the contingencies to make sure winter cant find cinder and u know what. thats gay. what will u do for yr not-gf when yr talking to someone who would kick her ass in a hot second,
also im TAKING to grab choice lines here to comment upon but honestly this next section is SO GOOD that im rly struggling to find a line to encapsulate how much i am LOVING this convo. i cant say exactly WHY im loving it because again thats 👈😎👈 BUT KNOW THAT THIS IS VERY GOOD FOOD AND I AM ENJOYING IT. and im also enjoying this line a lot
Winter’s voice was decisive: “Professor, if you hang up on me, I am flying to your location—tonight.”
winter: if y’all dont shut the fuck up back there i am turning this car, city, and continent AROUND,
It was the same thing, over and over: people didn’t understand her and she didn’t understand them. It was an exercise in futility that only gave her grief. In the end, she gave up on trying to explain herself. She resigned to being wrong, to always being wrong, even when she knew she wasn’t.
OOF OKAY WHAT THE HELL IS UP W/ THIS FIC AND CALLOUTS. HUH??? ME BITCH!!! I FEEL THAT!! AND IT SUCKS,
/reads the next bit
oh are we donning our tinfoil hats? we’re donning our tinfoil hats.
It was so easy. Glynda didn’t stumble over her words even once; didn’t waver. She was built for doing harm. Her anger burned hot and clean; it excised all the hurt like a malignant tumor.
Maybe she really had learned something from Cinder—channeling her frustration, her guilt, her pain, all of it into anger like this was something Glynda was new to. But it felt good. She leaned into it, letting it take the reins; the distressing memories vanished like wisps of smoke, vaporized by the heat of her wrath.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS god this is. SO EXCITING. i also love it when ppl rub off one one another its my FAV thing in the WORLD and this anger is. WOO. this anger is. DANDY. its also a very short-term burst of pleasure glynda so enjoy that hollowed-out whoopsie feeling that i sure get when i Blow Up,
“She butchered my friend!” Winter snarled, the camera shaking as she slapped the desk. “She butchered my friend in the streets like he was cattle! And I have done everything in my power to help you! Everything! To keep her from doing the same to you, and you’ve blown me off or lied or—” Winter’s voice snagged. “And now you tell me—you accuse me—”
It was early evening in Umbraroot, but it must already be night in Atlas. The shadows revealed the unclean angles of Winter’s face: the bruises of exhaustion under her eyes, the lines of stress at the corners of her mouth.
im sorry im just copy-pasting wholesale at this point but OH this is GOOD. i cant rly explain. like. the difference-- because you’d think from the og version this is just a bit more flavouring right? its like getting a bit of hot sauce on yr chicken wings and yr like ‘okay it adds smthng but its not like a side meal’ BUT IT IS A SIDE MEAL this is like a whole basket of fuckin. cheese-baked fries. winter DESERVES this screentime she DESERVES to have presence in this fic and OH does she USE IT im LIVINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Glynda wanted anger. She wanted fire and brimstone. She wanted a fight.
What she got was the glisten of tears on pale lashes. A hand covering Winter’s trembling mouth.
The ashy taste of remorse in her throat.
THERES THAT HOLLOWED-OUT WHOOPSIE FEELING!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE IT IS RIGHT ON TIME. its like CLOCKWORK,
She didn’t have anything. Nothing against that. The possibility that Winter might truly care what happened to her had been so insignificantly small and easy to trample. She had forgotten about the losses Winter shouldered the moment Cinder had whispered inheritance.
it’s just like clockwork,
also this chapter feels lengthy but maybe its just cause i got distracted with animal crossing so ill have to do a wordcount check at the end
/checks
no its lengthy this is a thicc one,
“I know,” Glynda said. “I know. I know how this sounds. But she’s the only person who makes me feel like—like I make sense.” In her mind, Glynda lay in the darkness of Cinder’s bedroom, watching the glaze of streetlights along her lips as she said you.
you,,,,,,,,, we,,,,,,,,,,,, our,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, its all that gay shit,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
“If I’ve learned anything, it’s that Cinder Fall is a tremendous liar. She could convince you it is raining in Vacuo, given enough time. Two years ago, I was working on the Argus base, where I met her as a client; she told me she was a merchant seeking entrance into Atlas—she had all her documents in order, her entire persona set up, and she sold it perfectly. She was flawless—and all of it was fake. She gave me no reason to doubt her. She was—”
Winter cut herself off, abruptly. Then: “Once I was comfortable and safe, she burned down my office and murdered my friend.”
YES,,, SLOWLY THE LORE PIECES TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! winter is once bitten twice shy, but mayhaps we mean,,, once burnt,,,, twice shy,,,,,,,,,, hrmmmm,
Glynda told Winter everything.
OH MAN,,,, we’re really getting this messy fucking trio up in this bitch i am SO excited. i am THRILLED. here! we! go!!!!!!!!!! also i said it before but again im so glad winter gets to Be Here for this. sure this has nothing to do w/ her destiny or w/e but shes here now. shes in the uber. she waiting outside.
The dying potted plant Glynda had spotted last time on the back wall’s shelf had been replaced with a new one; this one’s leaves were beginning to shrivel at the ends.
dsfjhhkljsdf side note: is this like that scene in finding nemo where all the new fish see the niece and go ‘oh no we’re gonna die’ but instead its plants getting taken into winters office? they go ‘im sorry, mate, but once you go into her office, you come out TOTALLY dead,’
okay so this whole convo happened and if i try to pick one section ill end up picking it all AAAAAAAAAAAAAA im dying out here. WINTER BLEASE,,, BELIEVE THAT SOMETIMES CINDER CAN TELL A HALF-LIE. A SORTA-TRUTH. A SEMI-HEMI-DEMI HONESTY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
How different would that mission have gone? How different would her life have been?
She found herself saying, “He had so many chances to tell me. Instead, he let me think I was reckless. That I was a danger to other people. I stopped working in teams. I didn’t have many people in my life to begin with, but afterwards was worse. He saw to it that he was all I had, and he let me think it was my fault.”
ROBLOXOOFNOISEDISTORTEDWITHDELAY.MP4
OOF!!!!!!! O O F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! honestly OOF that shit HURTS BITCH!!!!!!! thats BANANAS. WILD. im also loving (hating???) the increase of painful glynda lore and honestly everyone feels like they have So Much More that builds them up and im THRIVING off it. im also suffering for it.
With the video feed closed, Glynda could see she had new notifications. Missed calls. From Cinder.
Glynda’s stomach lurched. She stowed her Scroll before she could think about them.
At the mouth of the alley, she could see the shape of Cinder’s apartment in the distance. She stood there for a long time, staring, uncertain what to do with her hands, unsure what to do with her heart. Her jaw flexed. She remembered the tears on Winter’s lashes. The friend she’d lost.
Glynda took her first step toward the apartment.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and so the soft domestic shit ends. but nowhere near as explosively as id thought???????? HUH. H U H. must b because we’re gearing up for smthng honk honk honk
ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. this chap was SO good its astonishing (despite the [several] times i got distracted by animal crossing rip me). WINTER!!!!!!!! BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant believe this disaster trio is coming together. also cant wait for glynda to tell cinder the shit she just pulled. oh no,
(also the wordcount was 5,931. just in case u were curious)
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tallat-of-thralls · 5 years
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Note on Astral Projection
This is not a post on how to do it, this is a post on reassurance for those whom have projected elsewhere and encountered... Oddities.
Even after years of periodic deep meditation, experimentation with psychoactive chemicals (do Not recommend), learning from yogis and gurus amongst other carny like mentors, and just my own practice in relatives terms, i cannot rightfully say that i am considered "experienced". There are no academic parameters that state you are experienced, there arent true degrees to attain nor controls to compare the experiences to. So, mind what i am about to express based on the principle of my own judgement (as biased and convolulted as it might seem...)
Let me first state that one of the principles, one of the sacred laws i follow (i follow about 13 give or take) is Tacere or "To be Silent". Its one of 4 (or five depending on the practice) rules of i learned as The Laws of the Magus. By the element water 🔻, it warns the practitioners on sharing their meditative or astral experiences. It expresses the urgency about refraining from speaking to others about your magical workings, lest they seek to undo you. Accept that sometimes it's better to say nothing and discipline yourself to avoid unneeded consequences.
With that in mind, Im not sharing any of my bizarre experiences. Its not something i talk about just because the very few times i did, i scared people. Most people dont want affirmation of their eldritch nightmares existence and prefer covering their heads with a sheet until that notion goes away. They dont like it when you tell them for what reasons you have the opinions that you do based off the principle of fluid and subjective factors. People scare easily even those who have been involved with the craft for decades.
Not every practitioner is comfortable with cross dimensions or wyrds or aethers or voids or anything outside the first three of the sephiroth and it is not your responsibility to show them that. Opening doorways just to say, "look what i found! This my new friend so-n-so in the xth sephirah. They like coffee and metaphysics." Dont do that... The amount of eyes usually scare the jesus into people whom are unaccustomed to working with extra planes. Even if you try to explain that your wrinkly, tentacle bearing, eyeball covered friend is equivalent to a stressed out ritalined strained and caffeine soaked college student. All they see is this mess of wiggliness too excited to speak coherently and may wreak havoc on their mind by chanting numbers.
Like in this dimension, understand that some of your friends are xenophobic because their upbringing taught them no different and dropping them into the middle of a advanced session of nothing but mathematics and tentacles will freak them out.
So, keep your dreams, travels, and other experiences to yourself or just use complicated metaphors to skip over the slimey bits.
Now, if youre a beginner and you are unsettled or excited by those possibilities that i had mentioned... I made the previous up. Those are just examples of what you *may* experience when traveling through some of the more intangible sephirah. Essentially, you would want to stay in the first two or three to start with. And when i say the first two, i mean the one you currently exist in (our plane the first sephirah) should be thoroughly explored and extrapolated from before you seek answers in another place.
Imagine travelling to a foreign country because you heard that the scenery is amazing without first researching the tourist points, land, people, or even knowing the name of the country. You just hop in transit and arrive in some random hamlet asking about hidden knowledge only confusing and frustrating the locals. You never learn anything and you were bit by several insects and now your tummy hurts. Same principle. Research and look into the experience you wish to have or beings you wish to encounter then come up with ways to attain that which you seek so that whatever you encounter has a foundation for which it can build upon.
Even if you're exploring the forest down the street from your house, be prepared to encounter local wildlife and stock up on supplies to ensure your safety. Im not only saying to supply honey to the fae that live there, im saying make sure you wear proper attire and have a snack and some water before hand and on you.
One of the things i have experienced from some of my more lengthy and arduous meditations that if i hadn't done proper preparations i came out of it so hungry I felt sick or so thirsty that i chugged water like i had hiked a desert trail. But if I had eaten light meal and properly hydrated im not distracted by my body's exasperation therefore allowing me to reflect upon what i had just experienced instead of rushing to the nearest open box to satisfy my afflicted hunger.
Now, i covered safety lets mold the prospect of successful projections.
The first three sephiroth (not including the one we live in) are much like what we know since it is so very close to the mundane that concepts will over lap....
As a side note, if you have absolutely no idea what the hell the sephirah and sephiroth are i suggest to research that. In short, its a conceptual design mainly used for categorizing fields of astral and celestial magic or manifestations based off of the Kabbalic Tree of Life. There are ten in total. We live in number 10 while the "godhead" resides in number 1. The typical astral projections travel to 7, 8, 9. The sephiroth 4,5,6 come directly before a "veil" that separates the top three from the rest of the tree. 1, 2, 3 are, in simple terms, existential planes that embody creation... That's the basics for the purpose of this post but there is a ton more on the tree of life and should be one of the first things you look into if you are interested in continuing the astral/wyrd/aether/celestial/sephiroth/extraplanar studies.
As i mentioned 7,8,9 are the sephiroth you'll spend most of your time projecting into. You really dont have to go much further from them, as all the sephiroth are, they are infinite in the universes that occupy them and you will find much of what you're searching for within them without confusing the f*ck out of yourself.
Sephiroth 4,5,6, are higher up on the tree and farther away from 10 but closer to 1. They are extremely intangible and physics does not make sense nor do the beings that live there. If you find yourself in the mess of geometric shapes and warped concepts, the most i can advise is not panic. Act like its the first time you watched the willy wonka tunnel scene and reflect on the horrors after coming out. Most likely you wont learn anything other than the thought of "Huh... That was weird and terrifying."
In any regard, you shouldnt share the experiences you met in 7-4 just because if it freaked you out imagine how others would respond if they even thought you came up with that on your own. They will stare at you the same way they would stare at any other intangible horror.
In short, travelling extraplanarly will change you. No ifs or buts about it, the concepts and images you will encounter will separate you from those who spend their entire lives in the bottom sephirah. Its both good and bad in my opinion. Good if you find what you seek, bad in the sense that you will be alone in these expiriences.
Last thing, this Doesn't make you superior. There is nothing wrong with those who practice the craft and decline to travel through the gates and rings. There is nothing wrong with refraining from the extra dimensional and wyrd. Not everyone has the need or desire to do so.
As i had said, each sephirah is infinite. There are many universes within the tangible places to explore without even having to leave our own sephirah.
Keep that in mind. Understand that projecting and manifesting isnt a vertical sensation. It can be a lateral exploration just as easily. You dont have to just go up, shifting side to side can be as informative and interesting.
As something selfish of me, im open to reading any of your experiences if you wish to tell some one. You can dm me or tag me in your posts about your projection stories and i will happily read them. No judgement, simply curiosity on my part. If you want me to comment on the experience just ask me in the post/message. Other wise i wont.
Have Safe Travels ☺
AethyrSecretary
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sweetlifetownsville · 5 years
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To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.
Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.
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Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?
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Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.
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Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online
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The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.
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This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.
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This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.
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Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men
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Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.
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Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.
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And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq
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Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.
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And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.
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And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/
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San Leandro California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 94579
"San Leandro California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 94579
San Leandro California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 94579
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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San Leandro California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 94579
San Leandro California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 94579
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San Leandro California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 94579
San Leandro California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 94579
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What are the best websites to get car insurance quotes from different companies in New York City?
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Car Insurance.?
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San Leandro California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 94579
San Leandro California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 94579
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What are insurance rates on a ninja zx 6r?
What are insurance rates on a ninja zx 6r?
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I'm 18. I currently drive my parents extra car, and I am on their insurance. Right now they pay for all the insurance. Ok, so here's my question. I want to buy a car sometime later this year. I know it will be kind of a lot because of age (I'm female btw) and I just am confused about how I find insurance. Do you have to buy the car and then find insurance or should I be looking for insurance BEFORE I even buy the car ( I know what car I'm going to buy, it's just a matter of saving enough money and finding one available) Anyways, do I find an insurance company willing to cover me or do I put it in my parents name under their insurance? I'm so confused, I just want to be prepared and know all the facts for when I do buy my first car. Thanks for your help!""
Will a ticket for driving without a license (underage) affect my insurance rates?
Hi, I'm 15, about to get my license, but I NEED to go somewhere tonight. My parents' only reason for not letting me drive is because they are misinformed as far as what the penalties would be if I got stopped. The likelihood of me even getting stopped by a police officer is incredibly low becuase I don't speed, I have all proper licenses, inspection passed, no modifications on my truck).., but they are convinced that if I do get stopped, the officer will unrelentingly give me a ticket, which they claim is a $500 fine (when I KNOW for a fact that here in Texas, the first violation is only $20-100).....But either way, I would pay for it... They are simply concerned about insurance, the one thing they do pay for. They believe that my liability (I don't have collision and comprehensive, just liability) insurance rates will immediately spike, when I get my license, as a result of a single moving violation for not having a license. I have USAA insurance, and I'm in Texas. Please, anybody who knows about this sort of thing please help me, I haven't been able to find any info anywhere else. Please provide proof as well. Thanks!""
Where can i get 24 hour car insurance cover?
Next weekend we have to take our baby to London for injections and my partner only has a van..(ive been in the back today -wasnt nice) so he'll be borrowing my mums car so we can get there.. Where can i get a day cover for him? He's 19
""Can you get cheaper insurance, if you are driving on behalf of a disabled family member?
i am currently 19 and just passed my test - my friends of same age - pay 500-700 a year on car insurance and they say they get cheaper because they are acting as carer driver (e.g of grandfather or disabled brother)- basically you say to insurance companies that i am caring for them and need me - my dad just had a eye operation - just got blue badge and had heart attack 3 times - and yeh he gets mobility allowance - (because he had some other problems - not surely no what) - do you think i can use him to act a carer of him - he is driving at the moment so do you think he needs to give up driving is this possble or they mis-understood
Can i get a motorcycle insurance without having a license?
Or how else am i going to take the bike for the skills test
Insurance on a V8 mustang?
Currently im on my parents insurance and i think they pay 212 every 6 months, but if i got a 2005 V8 manual mustang, would anyone be able to just give me a rough estimate for a year?""
Insurance for Braces?
Does anyone have insurance for braces that they have used and can tell me about it? I really need braces but my regular insurance won't pay. :( Any help is appreciated! :)
Car insurance for 19 year old on a classic mini?
I am about to buy a classic mini mayfair 998cc car but I cant fins a decent quote. Cheapest is 2700 with Acorn insurance. Other companies have quoted around 4k and even upto 6k. Its just stupid. Anyway, Im turning 19 in february 19th so will be buying then but looks like I need to gold dig if its like this for insurance. Anyone one of you clever clogs know any companies who will take me on ? Tried: Adrian Flux, Elephant, Admiral, Acorn, and a few others. IKUBE says ring back next month as they dont have tariffs in place yet O_o lol! Ive tried googling this and have found no help. Preferably classic insurance for 19 year olds. Thank a bunch..""
Do i have to make a down payment on my car insurance?
i am buying my first car at the age of 18. i want to go on my moms insurance policy with the car in her name. i will pay for it myself though. from what i know, this should be cheaper if the car is known to be hers with me as a driver. when i add this car to her policy, will i have to make a down payment?""
Is there insurance you can get that will cover pregnancy?
I just found out that I am pregnant and I don't have insurance and I make to much for State covered insurance. Is there an insurance company out there that covers pregnancy now?
Should I call my auto insurance?
This afternoon, I was at a gas station and I backed my 2003 Pontiac mini van into a concrete barrier very hard. The left rear bumper is falling off, the hatch is dented fairly bad in the corner so it is difficult to open (that dent is about 4 inches in diameter but very deep) and the side with an automatic door has two shallow dents about a foot across. One of my taillights chipped on the side but didn't crack or shatter. No broken glass or anything. The plastic bumper is cracked in a few places, and has red paint all over over it from the barrier. the doors still work (excepting that the hatch catches on the taillight area), no electronic or mechanical issues, just body damage. The question is, should I call insurance? I am almost 17 and I've had my license for about 6 months. Roughly how much would the body work cost, since my insurance with AARP is sure to go up dramatically? Or would I want to play it safe and place a claim? My parents know all about it, and it was a total accident (I missed the brake pedal and hit the accelerator). Just looking for the way that will cost me less in the long run. Thank you for your help.""
Does anyone have Traveler's Auto Insurance?
I got a quote from a travelers auto insurance agent thats a good $75 less a month than what im paying now to progressive. The coverage isnt even bottom of the line either, its all the recommended selections. Anyone have any experience with them?""
Is it true that you have a red car you pay less insurance?
one of my friends told me that if you have a red car you pay less insurance ... i wanted to know if this is true and if so what is the reason for it .. thanks for the info and God Bless
Title insurance premium? One time fee or periodic payment?
I recently purchased a house in Southern California and just received some documents by mail stating that there's a title insurance premium of $500. Is this one time fee? But doesn't the word premium in insurance terminology mean periodic payment? I m confused.
Insurance company stepping over the line?
I was rear-ended last Friday. The lady who hit me was totally at fault, and admitted it to her insurance company. I have filed through my insurance company, gave them a verbal and recorded statement and my vehicle has been assessed with damages over $5000 dollars. Here's the catch....the insurance company of the lady who hit me calls me daily (leaves messages) asking me to talk and give a second recorded statement to them even though they know I have already given my insurance company one. I have talked to my insurance company about this...and they said legally I do not have to talk to them at all....I am not filing through them and that's that. Is this standard or is the other insurance company trying to be sneaky?? Thanks!""
Seperate Business Car insurance Policy?
I am starting my own delivery business and plan on using my own vehicle, I have looked into the price of business car insurance and got a rough quote, however I realised I am with Hastings Direct, and have not seen anything about business car insurance with them, so I checked on their site and it appears they do not offer business car insurance, so my question is, should I cancel the policy with them and take out a new one with someone who does, or is it possible to have a domestic car insurance with one company and a business one with another?""
How much do you pay for your car insurance? 10pts?
I have Geico and my vehicle is a lease...Jeep Liberty 05...I was charged $55.72 for this months insurance, it's always low but UM wtf??? How much are you paying? Do you own your vehicle/ lease? Year /Model? Thanks!""
""For my situation, what is the best way to minimize my car insurance?
ok the situation is like this. my family has two cars. (maxima and accent) I (21years old) use the accent and my parents use the maxima. All three of us are under the same insurance plan. I might sell the accent and buy a used car and pay monthly(financing). so that means the insurance has to be full coverage right? and not liability. (the maxima and the accent are both fully paid and they are under liability right now) So if I buy a used car what is the best way to minimize the insurance cost?...which is a good insurance company? can I be covered under my dad's name or something? my friend said something like that..but I don't know if there is such a thing. by the way my parents live in massachusetts and i live in NJ. what should i do? (don't tell me not to buy a car)
Will my insurance company repo my totaled car if I'm still making payments?
April 2011 my car suffered enough hail damage to become totaled. I owe more on my loan then my insurance company is giving me, and would need $4500 to buy it salvaged. I can not afford to buy a new car and this one still runs perfectly fine (it was all cosmetic damage). I have been paying on my insurance and my car loan and have not been called regarding my choice to keep or sell my car in a very long time. My insurance policy has even been renewed for another year with no changes to my policy. I see no reason they would come and take it and not just let me finish paying my car. The problem is now my wife (who is fresh out of college with tons of debt and lowered my credit score) wants me to take out a personal loan and buy the salvaged title to make sure they won't repo it. My current loan has all the interest paid off the new loan would have much worse interest rates.""
Will my insurance premium increase with no fault accidents?
I met with two accidents in the last 3 mths. Both were ones where the cars hits me at the rear end of my car so it wasnt my fault at all. Both accidents were reported to my insurance company (geico). I have never had any accidents before not have i had any tickets or violations before. I have been with geico for almost four years now. Will my premium go up on renewal? I have also heard that even if my premium may not increase, it will not even decrease upon renewal as it would have otherwise. Is this true? If yes, Is there anything I can do to prevent this?""
""California has had lawsuits capped at $250K for years now, and it didnt make rates go down one cent....?
....In fact they are still some of the highest in the Country. Can some conservative explain how this is so given their constant claims the 5% (!!!) of insurance company budgets that go towards lawsuits drive prices up?
How much will my car insurance go down if I switch to liability?
I have a 1999 Oldsmobile Alero and pay full coverage right now at about $50 per month. I'm a 25 y/o female with a clean driving record. Any ideas?
Car Insurance quotes?
I am trying to get car insurance for my young grandson and the prices I have been quoted are extortionate. Is this something that any of you have down recently and, if so, can you give me any advice?""
San Leandro California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 94579
San Leandro California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 94579
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Can I use whole life insurance issued in my name for collateral on a loan?
"Can I use whole life insurance issued in my name for collateral on a loan?
If it has no value to the insured person then why can you borrow money off the whole life insurance?
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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i would be on my dad's insurance. i wouldn't get a new one; the one i'd get would probably be from the 80's or 90's. and if it would be alot, is there another fast-looking (it doesn't have to actually be fast) that wouldn't be too expensive for insurance?""
Should I take a term insurance rather than home mortgage insurance?
Normally many banks want the home loan borrowers to take mortgage insurance. Here there are controversies since many suggest borrowers should take term insurance instead. But do term insurances always give better protection than term insurance? How does a mortgage insurance compare with term insurance in terms of premium amount, premium payment period, risk cover of death, disability, chronic disease, surrender value, survival benefits etc? Apparently the term insurances are cheaper but have to be paid for a much longer period than mortgage insurance (generally paid for about 1/3rd of loan period.) So which options is better? I would specifically like to know about such products available in India. Thanks.""
How much would the insurance cost for a 2004 Subaru impreza wrx. Not sti.?
Im 17... So it normally costs more for me anyway. My dad and mom has had geico for a while now. My dad says I can't get it cuz the insurance will cost too much on a turbo car. I can't live without a turbo car!!!!!
How Much do you pay for your insurance or how much is it for new cars and teens?
How Much do you pay for your insurance or how much is it for new cars and teens?
Could I make my own car insurance?
What makes a car insurance legal. If I were to have my own company and say I ensure myself could I be legal
How much would an individual health insurance plan cost for me?
Obviously I know it can vary but I just want an idea. I am a female in my 20s and I was wondering what a policy would cost if I didn't go through an employer for health insurance. Can someone provide a ballpark area for the cost? Thank you
In NY there is freelancers unions and other ways to get affordable health insurance. anything similar in SoCal
I want to start freelancing but learned that health insurance will cost me $1400/month. Anything creative I can do? Any unions or groups I can join in SoCal? Need PPO.
Can you swap your bike for a hire bike with insurance?
I have a hire bike with my insurance while my bike is in repair, the hire bike is perfect and really fits my needs perfectly, is it possible they could swap mine for the hire bike even if it means paying money for it""
SR-22 Insurance only exists in Washington state?!?
Is this true? I have to get one of them expensive insurance in order to get my license back, but soon I'm leaving this ugly state of Washington. is it true that SR-22 only applies to residents of Washington state?""
If I got a 1000cc+ for my first bike and restricted it to a 125cc would the insurance be cheap?
the bike would be restricted to a 125cc. This would also be my first bike and I would be 17 yrs old.
Which cars are cheap on insurance for a 17 year old?
Which cars are cheap on insurance for a 17 year old?
How much would car insurance cost for me?
How much does it cost to get my first car insurance under my parents insurance living in NV, USA? Also: I'm 18 yrs old, Just got my driver's license, White male Caucasian, Drive a black 1996 Honda Civic, been in no accidents, got good grades from High School, had no bad records in general, I live in a safe area, but will drive about 80 miles a week .""
Why do we need basic health insurance?
Health insurance should be for serious issues that require surgery or hospitalization. Why do I pay insurance to get a checkup or for routine visits? The problem with health insurance is it is too broad; therefore, it is too big. The idiots who say that car insurance is mandatory as an argument for mandatory health insurance leave out that it is only LIABILITY insurance that is mandatory. You are not required to insure fixing your own car if you choose not to. Think about how much more expensive it would be to take care of routine things like car maintenance, appliance replacement, etc., if they were handled through an insurance company. The answer seems to be to eliminate most of the unnecessary insurance and shrink it to only what is required. That along with serious tort reform would eliminate much of the red tape and cost. The person who abuses their things pays more to replace and fix them. Same thing with the fat people, who suck up most of the insurance money the rest of us pay.. If you choose to be fat, then you will pay more to repair your health. It seems pretty simple, but then again the current proposal is not really about health care is it???""
What is the cheapest way to get insured on a Ford Fiesta 1.2 for an 18 year old?
Hey, I just passed my driving test and the trouble is insurance :( I've found the perfect car for me which is a Ford fiesta 1.25 studio, 2006 model which has done 49000 miles and is valued at 3800 pounds. The insurance is nearly triple the amount of the car which is something I simply cannot pay. I was considering coverbox or insure the box but I'm not too sure. I've been researching online for a good few months now and all price comparison websites and insurers' websites seem to be suggesting the same price. So please if you know how to get cheap car insurance for a 18 male who has 0 months no claims, I would appreciate your help :)""
Can I use whole life insurance issued in my name for collateral on a loan?
If it has no value to the insured person then why can you borrow money off the whole life insurance?
Do you think teen drivers are the only ones with trouble getting cheap car insurance?
There was mature man who was very successful in business. I think he was 35 or 40. He finally got his new drivers license and decided to buy a $90,000 car. He bought it for cash, to save on interest on the loan. When he tried to get insurance it was $10,000 a year for liability and collision insurance. He asked if he could return the car, but since it was no longer 'brand new' he would loose $10,000. If he kept it the insurance would be $30,000 for the first 3 years! He kept it.... too bad he didn't know anything about insurance before he bought it! He should have had a cheap car in his name with just liability insurance, for 3 years before he went out and bought his dream car. This would have created insurance history . That together with his over 25 years old status would have cut insurance expenses way way, down.""
Cheap motorcycle insurance company for young riders?
Anyone recommend any companies? I have blasted a fair few, including BikeDevil and Lexham (Lexham is in the lead though it does have a 600 excess). If you know any good companies of which are cheap please let me know, as being 17 makes insurance hard to find. Thanks""
Should i get insurance for my first car? Where can i get CHEAP car insurance? I live in Aus.?
Should i get insurance for my first car? Where can i get CHEAP car insurance? I live in Aus. I am looking at buying a s13 non turbo at 11k. when i looked for a quote the minimum was like 5k which i do not have the money seeing as i am going to have to get a loan for my car.
I am a 16 year old male I want to know how much insurance on a 1995 Honda civic would cost me. Thank you?
I live in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada and I would also like to know what the cheapest insurance company is""
Is there a big jump in insurance between a 600cc sports bike and 650cc?
I see a lot of bikes that are 600cc, and I'm trying to keep insurance cost down. I have been stuck on Kawasaki because it seems there models have the best gas mileage an comfortable seating positions. The 250r is just out of the question, even though I'm a first time rider. I'm 35 years old and do not plan on racing, but i also don't want to be stuck with a 250cc bike when i purchase, as I plan on keeping whatever I buy. I'm looking at the Kawasaki ZZR600 and the Ninja 650, but not sure if the insurance will be that much of a difference from 600cc to 650cc.""
What car insurance providers are NOT on comparison websites?
What car insurance providers are NOT on comparison websites?
How much can i sue and get from car insurance for pain and suffering for $6000 worth of medicals?
How much can i sue and get from car insurance for pain and suffering for $6000 worth of medicals?
Will insurance pay if someone crashes into a salvaged car?
I was wondering what happens if someone crashes into a car with a salvage title. Will the other person's insurance pay the normal amount for it, or do they only offer a reduced amount because it is salvaged? This is obviously assuming the other driver is at fault.""
Health Insurance and Hospital?
I'm not quite sure how to say this w/o getting too deep into it,but there seems to be a Communication problem between Mount Sinai Hospital in Miami Beach and my Insurance company united american. They(the hospital) tell me they never get paid by my insurance Company and i have been back and forth between the two of them. Once Mount Sinai's business office sent me a correspondence saying my insurance company told them that i should pay the bill. I think the hospital is lying...anyone have any problems with this hospital when it comes to business etiquette and what came of it..what did you do about it. They don't have their heads screwed on right""
How much would it cost for 3-5 million dollars General Liability Insurance?
I work in various chemical plants and refineries repairing/maintaning/calibrating the laborotory instruments in these places. I'm currently working as a sub-contractor through another company but that is about to change, as my business partner and I are breaking away from them to start our own business. Most of these plants require between 3-5 million in liability coverage to my knowlege. I need a ballpark figure of what that kind of coverage costs in the Louisiana/Gulf coast region. Last year we did $150,000 in sales between 3 people and the revenue has been growing substantially each year (~20% or so). Thanks in advance for your answer.""
Car insurance confusion?
so my dad bought a car for my sis and I to share. I have liability that my mom pays. My sis has insurance my dad pays. Can I still drive the car my dad bought for us or do I have to be under his plan? btw my parents are divorced
Could affordable government health insurance help stimulate the economy?
Services like water treatment, police, fire departments, and schools are supported by taxpayers dollars because it saves money in the private sector in the long run. Affordable government health insurance may also saves families thousands in expenses each year, giving them more money to spend in the general economy. Would this not be a way to help stimulate the economy?""
I hit a dog last night with my car what should i tell my insurance company now that its the next day?
I don't care about paying a deductible just need it fixed asap so I can get back on the road damages will cost to much to pay on my on
Cheapest car insurance - 17yr male?
Pretty much says it in the question - what insurers do you go with, how much does it cost you, what car do you have. Full license.""
Can other people drive my car with my insurance?
I am going on a road trip with a friend but I don't want to drive the whole way. I have AAA insurance, will it cover my friend if she drives my car part of the way? She has state farm insurance if that makes any difference.""
Insurance company drug test for a lower rate?
I am clean right now, I just took a drug test today at home and passed. I was just wondering what Farm Bureau Insurance or any car insurance company may test for in a teenager whose parents are looking to get a lower rate? How extensive would the test be? Would they test for LSD or LSA? I AM NOT POSING AS A MINOR! IT'S JUST A QUESTION! WILL PICK BEST ANSWER! thank you for your help! :)""
How much would the car insurance be if i get a first car for 20k? UK?
How much would the car insurance be if i get a first car for 20k? UK?
Is classic car insurance cheaper?
thinking about buying 1967 Camaro and was wondering if it was my primary vehicle would the car ins. be cheaper? Anyone know?
My daughter gave permission to an unlicensed driver to drive my car. will me insurance co pay the damages?
she is on my policy. he hit another car. will my insurance company pay for the other persona car and mine?
What would my insurance be for a supra?
i will soon be 16. i get As and Bs occasional C. i will be insured with my mom and brother she is 51. My idea is to get a very cheap car and after about a year when im 17 i want to buy a supra with a salvaged title. nothing to bad done ive seen a few go for about 10k. so what do you guys/girls think will be the total insurance for the supra and the cheap car?
Would insurance be cheaper then normal for this car?
Would insurance be cheaper then normal for this car, its a 1993 ford mustang 4 cylinder auto, because its old and a auto 4 cylinder? Plan is to insure it with the auto four banger in it, then do an engine swap imported v6 turbo, with manual transmission, new drive shaft, differential, exhaust, etc.. what they don't know.. they don't know lol""
What happens if u get caught driving a car without insurance?
what fines or punishments do u get driving a car without insurance or registration in ontario? Also, what happens if you get caught driving with a g1? and both?""
Where should I look to insure a child in another state?
I am currently doing research to find an affordable health insurance plan for a child in California, I live in Colorado. I'm not sure how to go about finding insurance in another state, especially for a child. She will be 12 in October. Any suggestions?""
Would the insurance be too much?
My mom gave me her Audi TT RS this week because she bought a new car. The deal was I get the car but I have to pay for insurance and gas. So, will the insurance be a back-breaker? I'm 17 right now and I've had my licence for well over a year. I haven't been in any accidents or altercations with the law.""
Can I cancel my auto insurance because I am leaving the country for 3 months?
I am leaving the USA for 3 months so I was wondering if it would be possible to cancel my auto insurance for these months and not pay the monthly premium. I will not be driving the ...show more
Can I use whole life insurance issued in my name for collateral on a loan?
If it has no value to the insured person then why can you borrow money off the whole life insurance?
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-does-pediatrician-cost-without-insurance-anthony-johnston/"
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How much my insurance car ll be ?
"How much my insurance car ll be ?
i just got my full uk driving license this week i am 31 years old and im so excited to get car with big engine 2.0 or 2.2 but im worried if my insurance ll be expensive specially is my first year driving thanks for any help
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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Does any one know a sight where I can get student insurance?
I want to join a sport but I need insurance and I saw some sights but they don't have my school please help
Is car insurance cheaper in manhattan than queens?
Is car insurance cheaper in manhattan than queens?
Auto insurance and baby seat replacement?
I was in an accident a few months ago and I heard recently that the insurance company of the person at fault has to pay for new baby seats since the seats have served their purpose by protecting the children. Anyone else have experience with this? Can I get the insurance compant to pay for new seats?
What is the best car to buy cheap to run and insurance etc.?
What is the best car to buy cheap to run and insurance etc.?
How much my insurance car ll be ?
i just got my full uk driving license this week i am 31 years old and im so excited to get car with big engine 2.0 or 2.2 but im worried if my insurance ll be expensive specially is my first year driving thanks for any help
At what age does car insurance drop to a normal rate?
im 16 and i wanna wait til a certain age so i dont have to pay alot for the insurance
Does UK car insurance get noticeably cheaper when you reach 25 years old?
or is this just a general thought among motorists?
Are insurance agencies notified if you don't get a ticket?
i got pulled over but the cop gave me a break. he checked my license and registration in his computer but gave no ticket. will my insurance find out about this or am i safe for now? i have liberty mutual and live in maryland. im a new driver so im really worried my rates will go up even higher
How Much Does Insurance Cost?
Okay, So Im 18. Ive Been Driving For A Year And Haven't Had Any Type Of Tickets, Wrecks, Or Anything. And, I Was Told That With This Your Insurance Is Likely To Go Down For Being ...show more""
""If I buy auto insurance online from statefarm, how do i get my insurance card?""
Do I just print it out, or do they mail it to me? How long do I have to stay before I cancel without getting a cancellation fee? 6 months, a year? Is the final quote going to be the cost, or can they raise it immediately?""
Where do I go to find public liability insurance?
I am starting to run workshops, teaching creative recycling crafts and require public liability insurance. Could you point me in the right direction please?""
What is a good company for individual dental insurance?
What is a good company for individual dental insurance?
How can I change my insurance plan in Covered California?
I enrolled in Covered California last December. I just realized that I am not happy with my Kaiser plan. How can I upgrade it? I tried to call but I waited on hold for more than an hour and when I was finally able to speak with a representative, she hung up on me. I plan to stay with Covered California but I want to change/upgrade my plan without being kicked out of the system. I am worried because it is only 4 days to the end of open enrollment.""
Car insurance payment?
I would like to get the car insurance for my used car, and it is my first car. If I buy the insurance for 6 months, should I pay all the 6 months insurance at one time, or pay month by month? Thanks.""
17 soon. just wondering about car insurance?
whether when i pass n get a car if il be able to pay insurance monthly? and does it cost more tht way (uk)
Pregenant without insurance!!!?
Pregenant without insurance. What are the options? Would hospitals allow payment installements? Definitely want a safe and equiped place to give birth at. Any idea what it will cost about? We are in the NY metro area. Feedback please.
Drive new car on an old insurance policy?
Hi all, I have got fully comp insurance on my car, but I have just sold it. Now I have bought a new one can I drive my new car on my insurance policy without changing it and be covered third party? If the answer is yes will it cause any problems for the person I have just sold my old car to?""
What is the cheapest car for insurance?
I am 17 years old and i want to know which car is the least expenssive for insurance. What insurance group is the car in.
Were can i get cheap car insurance for a rover 214 16 valve injection?
i need to get cheaper car insurance for my car were can i get it am nearly 24 and i don't have ncb ?
""How much would cost a BMW325 coupe car insurance in london? car is worth 15.000, 3 years old, held in garage.""
How much would cost a BMW325 coupe car insurance in london? car is worth 15.000, 3 years old, held in garage.""
How cheap can u get???
What is the cheapest car insurance for teenagers that u can get??? What company??? If it matters, I live in NC.""
Guess our car insurance?
Primary driver: 24, perfect driving record, female, some college completed but no degree The car: Something mediocre from the late 80s to late 90s The insurance: Minnesota, metro area, daily 10-20 mile commute each way, we want all the proper liability and personal injury coverage but don't care about collision Seriously, just guess. We'll take any ideas. We completely know it varies by each of those factors and many more, and we already know the national average. If you know the state average, that's one step up on us. I'd get a quote, but my roommate is the one seriously thinking about cars right now, and I don't want to do anything in someone else's name. She'll be getting quotes soon, but right now I'm a little concerned about the insurance companies possibly running credit checks, as I'm under the impression a slew of them at a time can lower your score, and we don't know what car we're getting yet. So once that's settled, we'll check into it for real. We just want to TRY to budget before we seriously car hunt.""
Auto Insurance Question: Please help!!!!!?
I asked this yesterday too, but did not get any responses; so if you have any information at all, or this has happened to you, please list an answer! I just recently lost my beautiful 1977 Monte Carlo to a fire! It was all original, and the adjuster found it to be worth between $12,000 and $13,000. Due to my ignorance of insurance, we were put into a stated value insurance policy worth $6,000, and now, I am only getting $6,000 for my car. I feel ripped off. I am young, and don't know anything about insurance, but trusted my agent. The car has been in my family and was gifted to me from my dad a little less than one year ago. My agent asked for photos, and a letter from my parents with what they thought the worth of the car was, signed saying it was a gift. So, that's what we gave him. They stated in the letter they paid $6000 for it 8 years ago. We were never told to get the car appraised, or that we had to keep up on checking to see if the value had gone up so we could change our policy. Do any of you have any advice on how I can get the insurance company to give me all the money? Is there anything I can do at all? Thank You so much!""
Motorcycle insurance?
I am looking to get a motorcycle in the future and I know it takes time and money, but most people do not ride in the winter (NJ), so my question is, can I cancel my motorcycle insurance during winter months, so I am not paying all year round? Also, are there any reprocussions to doing this? Thanks.""
How can I get car insurance?
Let me give some more information. I'm 18 years old, female, live in NJ and need to buy my own car and insurance soon.""
Going on my dads car insurance...question?
My dad has Triple A auto insurance ..I do not live with him I am on my own in my own house, I never ask my family for help. But right now my tabs are expired and since I am only 20 I cannot afford auto insurance..they want me to put 300 down just for no fault and I think its ridiculous, Right now I dont have 300 dollars either so I asked my dad if he could help me out temporarily and put me on his car insurance ..i have a 98 cavalier so it shouldnt be that bad. its been 2 weeks and he keeps saying hes talking to the agent after tomorrow I can no longer drive my car because my tabs say march and april is comming up, I told him I would pay whatever costs to add me on it and whatever he needed a month. I was just wondering if they charge extra to add me on his insurance and my car or is he just making it up because I dont think It should take that long...like I said I am living on my own have never lived with my dad because he was in jail for a long time, moved out when i was 18 and can't get help from my mom or him,,I cant even ask to borrow money from them yet I can loan my dad 200 dollars. Feel like its so wrong, I think im doing pretty good being 20 years old working full time owning a house my own car that I bought myself and going to school...and Im having my first child.""
I need Auto Insurance help!? (there are too many options!)?
I have auto insurance now but i think i rushed into it last year. My time is coming to either renew are go elsewhere. When looking for insurance, what should i look for? Im new(ish) in the auto insurance industry so please any advice would be helpful!""
I'm confused about primary and secondary health insurance?
My daughter is on my policy, where all of the payments come out of a fund set at the beginning of the year, so if it is $1,000 that can be wiped out by one trip to the ER. Also, she ...show more""
Car insurance -- help!?
So im 19, dont know nothing about how car insurance works.... im trying to get an online quote to see how much id be paying roughly and i came across this question.... Collision Deductible Specific dollar amount your insurance company requires you to pay when you are involved in an accident. the options are $500, $1000, or decline what does that mean? and what would probably be the safest route to go..""
How can i get car insurance that i can afford?
im 17 and have just learned to drive and in all fairness i am insulted by the car insurance quotes i have received . in order for me to get my moneys worth out of the insurance quotes i have received i would have to rite my car off 13 times ! can anyone help me get my insurance down , or have any advice on a company who will insure me without me having to sell my organs !""
How much my insurance car ll be ?
i just got my full uk driving license this week i am 31 years old and im so excited to get car with big engine 2.0 or 2.2 but im worried if my insurance ll be expensive specially is my first year driving thanks for any help
Car Insurance?
Can a candaian get car insurance in ark. as long as your candaian license is current?
""Poverty level, affordable health insurance plan for a family of 5?
i want to help my parents find health insurance that they can afford
""If i take drivers ed now, will my car insurance rate go down?""
I got my g2 a month ago without taking drivers ed, however I heard that insurance rates are cheaper if you've taken drivers ed, so my question is, if i go and take drivers ed now will my insurance rate go down? Or is it too late?""
Do Insurance Quotes Check Your Credit Score?
Hi everyone. When you get and insurance quote from an auto insurance company(I'm thinking of trying 21 century) do they check your credit score? If so then is that a problem? Thanks to those who help!
Whats the cheapest place to get insurance?
I got a 01 kia optima im 23 years old, male, and paying about 100 dollars a month for full coverage. Company: American Family. Any better deals""
Is there such a thing as life insurance class?
Like a class you have to take when first getting life insurance
Motorcycle insurance for a 20 yr old?
i just got a 2004 ninja zx10r, any one know of a place that has motorcycle insurance for cheap??""
Is insurance cheaper if you have had experience on the road?
I am 16 driving a moped I'm looking to get a car when I'm 17, will insurance be cheaper for me because I drive a moped?""
How much will my insurance go up?
I was trying to merge onto the freeway when the lady in front of me made an inexplicable complete stop on the on ramp. I slammed on my brakes and rode the ABS down to about 15MPH when I hit her. Turns out she was on heroine, and CHP arrested her at the scene. The chippy's were really cool and said my situation was totally understandable , but said my insurance may not see it that way. (the damage to the crack head's car was minimal, and she was not injured) I'm not going to claim the damage to my car. I can fix it myself. So lets say with a little paint and body work, her repair cost is $1000.......how much will my insurance go up? I am 23, and have a flawless driving record until today.""
How much (estimate) would car insurance on a Dodge Challenger se r/t & srt8 be for a 18 year old boy?
I want to know the estimate on a dodge challenger srt8 se r/t and see what the differences are in price. Guessing the srt8 is gonna be alot!!! please just estimate. THANK YOU!
Can my car insurance company give my phone number to auto shops?
I was recently in a fender-bender, and as SOON as I made a claim with my insurance company, random auto shops started calling my cell phone (which is my only phone, I don't have a land line) stating they heard I'd been in an accident and basically were telemarketing me into fixing my car at their shop. I have Nationwide insurance, and I'm suspecting it is them who has released my information, as I didn't supply my info with anyone else, other than in the police report! Has anyone else heard of this or had this happen to them? Is there anything I can do about it, other than tell the people not to call me again!?""
Affordable health coverage? Is there such a thing?
Single, living in NYC and I'n looking for a health insurance plan that has a good pharmacutical co-pay and doctor coverage. Can some of you let me know what plan you are on that is somewhat affordable? Thanks!""
""I only have liability insurance, how much would my car repair bill come out to be?""
I have a 2004 Nissan maxima and was in an accident this morning. Long story short, it was my fault and fortunately there were no injuries on either side. However, my insurance covers plenty for the other party, but none for me. The damages are in the front right side which includes, the headlight, part of the hood, front bumper, the side panel(but not the door) to be smashed in a bit. Further damages include windshield wiper fluid is leaking, for it was hit too. But the tire and allignment is completely fine, allowing the cop to let me drive it home. Any help?""
Car insurance for a new driver.?
How much money would car insurance be for a 16-year old teenage boy? My birthday falls weird so i get my lisence when im sophmore.
20 yrs old and i'm wondering how much insurance would be on a 600cc motorcycle in the Orange County area.?
I took a safety course and got my lisence a few weeks ago and i'm wondering if anybody can give me a range of how much it would be. I have a clean driving record and also have another car I could put on the insurance plan. Thanks
How much will a mg zr 1.4 be to insure?
im 17 and i know it want come over 4000 a year
What is the cheapest insurance for a 17 year old driver?
What is the cheapest insurance for a 17 year old driver?
Teen Female vs. Male Insurance Rates?
is it true that if youre a male teen, your car insurance rates are higher than a teen female's rates? are there websites to back that up? thanks!""
Can you get car insurance without having a car?
I want to get my license back. The state (Indiana) says I have to have insurance in order to get it back. Except I don't have a car. And I can't get a car without a license. Seems like a total catch 22. The form they said I need is a sr50. The girl I talked to on the phone was rude and wouldn't even listen to me saying I don't have a car so how can I get insurance. Just kept repeating you need insurance to get your license back. Help!
Average car insurance for new driver?
I'm 16 and I can get my liscence sooon... but I need to pay for car insurance... how much on average will I be paying for a 1996 camry?
How much would insurance cost for a Toyota Celica GT?
I am getting my license soon and I was looking at a Toyota Celica GT (most likely a 2001 or 2000) I am in high school and I am a girl. I heard that guys get higher costs is that true? thanks!
""Which is generally cheaper to insure, Saturn or Neon (90's models)?""
I am looking at liability insurance, and I only have one point on my record, which may actually have dropped of now. Just generally which would be cheaper to insure.""
Cheap Cars to Insure for 17 year olds?
Hi, I am 17 was was wondering if anyone knows of any cheap cars to insure that they could recommend. Cheers Kieran.. (P.s., if that's OK maybe you could roughly say how much your insurance was or approx how much it would be?)""
""How much would insurance cost me for a $200,000 porsche as a teen?????? PLZZ HELP GUYS PLZ!!!!!!?""
Im planning to buy a $200,000 porsche drive away. Im going to get superior insurance (the best insurance) that covers my car fully. HOWEVER the problem is im a teen 19 year old and insurance rates appparently fly above the sky. HOW much will it cost insurance a year????????????????????? ?????????????????/""
What do i do with no insurance? when i go to the doctor and no insurance?
i work at mcdonalds part time, and have no insurance or health benefits, how do i get insurance to pay for doctors visits? How can i afford health insurance or where do i apply 4 health insurance?""
How much my insurance car ll be ?
i just got my full uk driving license this week i am 31 years old and im so excited to get car with big engine 2.0 or 2.2 but im worried if my insurance ll be expensive specially is my first year driving thanks for any help
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-insurance-still-go-down-i-have-really-cheap-car-first-paula-petty"
0 notes
sweetlifetownsville · 5 years
Text
To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.
Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.
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Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?
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Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.
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Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online
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The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.
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This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.
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This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.
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Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men
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Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.
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Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.
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And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq
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Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.
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And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.
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And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/
0 notes
sweetlifetownsville · 5 years
Text
To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.
Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.
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Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?
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Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.
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Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online
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The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.
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This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.
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This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.
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Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men
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Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.
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Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.
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And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq
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Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.
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And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.
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And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/
0 notes
sweetlifetownsville · 5 years
Text
To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.
Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.
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Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?
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Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.
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Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online
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The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.
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This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.
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This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.
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Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men
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Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.
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Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.
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And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq
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Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.
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And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.
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And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/
0 notes
sweetlifetownsville · 5 years
Text
To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.
Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.
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Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?
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Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.
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Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online
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The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.
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This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.
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This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.
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Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men
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Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.
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Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.
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And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq
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Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.
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And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.
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And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/
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