#this is a reference to one of my older posts

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

May 27th

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1. Hello, how's you. I'm looking a fic, it was a one-shot and meet bad. Lan Wanji lost A-yun at the mall during Christmas 🎄. They saw a CCTV footage of Wei Wuxian walking with A-yun and they thought he kidnapped him. It was all a misunderstanding. They end up coparenting A-yun. Thank you

FOUND? I know what my heart wants by yakuso5u (Not Rated, 28k, WangXian, Modern AU, Single Father LWJ, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Accidental Child Acquisition, Domestic, Slice of Life, Christmas references)

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2. Hey am looking for a fic where Wei Wuxian switches places with the úntame version of himself due to a talisman and finds out that that version of himself and lan wandgi are not together @fanficlover-novels

FOUND? Key Differences by pupeez4eva (T, 5k, WangXian, Humor, Dimension Travel, Crossover, Drama!WWX meets Novel!WWX, Public Confessions, Post-Canon)

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3. please help me to find this one fic. It was a time travel fic where only wwx goes back to the past. But the unique part is wwx is in his older body & with that he clears the burial mounds by himself & then he lives there, many people know about this & started calling him yllz and one day bc everyone thinks that this yllz is a diety they start to sacrifice someone. One day qhj sacrifice lwj, but wwx doesn't want him after that qhj dies, kid lwj fell in love w/yllz Nhs knows yllz from his father

FOUND? Practical Mythology by metisket (T, 17k, WangXian, Time Travel, YLLZ WWX, myths and legends, apparently the burial mounds has to fix everything itself, zombie farm collective, accidental deities, Families of Choice)

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4. Looking for a fic where Wei Wuxian is a jiaoren/merperson and saves Lan Zhan via emergency transformation. From what I recall, LZ was thrown into a river or lake by Wen soldiers, tied and weighted so he'd drown. WWX found him, and didn't have a way to free him from the weights, and had to transform him to keep him alive. Slow transformation. Just gills at first, but no way to stop it once started, so LZ had to stay underwater while they escaped. @shiroookamitoko

FOUND? A Kiss You Can't Breathe Without by ElvenQueens (M, 10k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Merpeople, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Fall of Lotus Pier, Animal Transformation, Creature Fic, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Drowning)

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5. Hello can i ask for help searching a specific fic? its a modern au and wangxian are friends with benefits, its lwj pov and hes pining hard. wwx got into a car accident that left him in long comatose and jyl kindly invited lwj to sit beside his sickbed and wait for wwx to wake up. lwj comes everyday after work, after wwx wake up lwj volunteered to bring him home and they confessed to each other

FOUND? Almost Lover by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 37k, Wangxian, modern, Angst with a happy ending, Hurt/Comfort, a bad thing happens to WWX, LWJ gets very sad, Hospital Scenes, Dubious Medical Science, pining for the person you’re fucking, Friends With Benefits, friends who come together stay together, learning to use our words, there are also rabbits, Traumatic Injury, mention of past WWX/WQ)

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6. hello! do you know which fic is this?

"does anyone know which wangxian fic had the problematic breakup and wwx got w some other dude and had a baby w blue eyes or smth" i found a wangxian divorce fic i wanna read but istg if it’s THAT one-

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7. First of all, thank for all your work!!! I'm searching for a fic and I can't remember clearly the scenes, just that wwx, I think, created a book of interpretation of lwj's reactions paired with short description of what it means and lsz and ljy use it to interpret what lwj wants to say. I think it's like that. Thank you!!!

FOUND? Important Distinctions by nagi_blue (T, 5k, gen, Fluff and Crack, [Podfic] Important Distinctions by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona))

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8. I'm absolutely going batty trying to find this fic! It's Wangxian, but not central to the boys in that it's in Jin Zixuan's POV & he kills Wen Xu with a Yu blade while pretending to be hunting for deer on behalf of Mme Jin(?). (it's not the unbearable pain of being seen antho by meyari, but similar in tone.) Basically, JZX turns the fate of the entire war on its ear, bc he is competent. Help, please!! (and thank you!) @thelima-aka-chickwriter

FOUND! 🔒 Moments of Revelation by meyari (T, 133k, ChengSang, WangXian, XiYao, POV JC, Canon Divergence, Temporary Character Death, Character Death, not anyone we care about, Time Travel Fix-It, Self-Sacrifice, Torture, Chronic Pain, Chronic anxiety, Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Chronic Mental Health Issues, Assassination, renamed MY, Families of Choice, Unreliable Narrator(s), Demonic Possession)

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9. Hello, I'm looking for a fic, I remember there was a battle between Wei Ying and the Lan clan and Wei Ying wins, and spares Lan Zhan. Then Lan Zhan spends 2 weeks (or more) day and night burying all the dead then collapses from exhaustion. He is saved by Wei Ying and treated by Wen Qing but spends a good time bedridden with an inability to raise his arms. That's my only memory. Thanks in advance :) @wesenyr

FOUND? help is on the way by Vamillepudding (M, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, LWJ Needs a Hug, Fairy Tale Elements)

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10. Hi sorry, can you help me find a fic please!

It's a wangxian dom/sub universe. The author had originally posted the fic on another website, and then uploaded it to AO3. They recently made the fic a mystery fic, so idk if anyone can find the original post or a download of it 😭

It was a dom lwz and sub wwx, with lwz being in a relationship with mo xuanyu but he takes in wwx to help train him. It endgame wwx, with mo xuanyu being okay with wangxian being together. It also has slight wwx/jgy at the beginning but it's nothing serious. @i-swear-we-were-okay

FOUND? backfire (🔒squidgewolrd link) by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 115k, WangXian, WangYu, one-sided XianYu, MingYu, Modern AU, Biologically Determined Dom/sub Roles, BDSM, Bad BDSM etiquette, Sadism Masochism, Past Sexual Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Self-Harm, BDSM as a Form of Self-Harm, Minor Character Death(s), Arson, Shades of Black Widow WWX, Extremely Dubious Consent, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Normalized Homosexuality and Bisexuality, Normalized Polyamory, Nonsexual BDSM, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Pining WWX, Jealous WWX, Touch-Starved WWX, Professional Dominant WWX, Sex Worker WWX, Gentle Dom LWJ, Mean Dom LWJ, Oblivious LWJ, Past WC/WWX, Minor JGY/WWX, Mentioned WWX/Others, Emotional Infidelity, Angst with a Happy Ending, Endgame Wangxian, MXY Also Gets a Happy Ending, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note) I think is for #10, their non gift fics are on their website

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11. Excuse me? But could you help me rediscover the fanfic series where the first fanfic story starts with Wei Ying from the modern era in a T-shirt, basketball shorts, and tennis shoes (with a plastic grocery bag of energy drinks) chances upon Lan Wangji at Cloud Recesses. In the time of the novel post Sunshot Campaign. So the mystery is about why Wei Ying was brought into the past. (Spoiler Alert: It's about soulmates)

The second story of the series is about how Wei Ying and Lan Wangji split time between the modern era and the Cultivation era. There is an incense burner scene where Wei Ying gets to seduce Lan Wangji at their first meeting with his bare legs in his basketball shorts. Another is about Lan Wangji getting jealous about Wei Ying using his dildos from before their relationships.

Would you please help me with this? I hope you have a great day. @kaitou-cure-prism12

FOUND? Wrong Turn, Right Place by diamondbruise (E, 71k, WangXian, Time Travel, kind of, it’s more reality travel but there’s modern wwx and cultivator lwj, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jealousy, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Misunderstandings, Cultural Differences)

FOUND? Dramaturgy by slex (slexenskee) (T, 62k, WIP, WangXian, Isekai, Canon Divergence, modern!wwx, Bisexual disaster WWX, not intentionally a fix-it AU but definitely a fix-it AU, Transmigration, Identity Porn, Computer Science)

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12. hi! is it true that there's a Wangxian fic based on the k-drama 'Whe Life Gives You Tangerines'?

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13. I have a specific fic I'm looking for! It was wangxian modern AU, where wwx and a-yuan were somewhat in hiding. Nmj/nhs and the wen siblings (I think) knew what was going on and were helping them. Wwx moved around a lot to avoid detection until one day wwx meets lwj and falls in love and doesn't want to leave. I didn't read far enough to learn what exactly they were in hiding for, but the tags I remember made it seem like a wwx whump fic. I know it's not a lot to go on but I appreciate any help! Thank you! @scienceontheweekdays

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14. Looking for a fic where wwx stumbles upon a cave and find a big egg in a nest and after releasing he might lose his life if the parent of the egg came back and found him there, but before he could escape, comes back, wwx try to reason with it only for the dragon to start sniffing him and circling around him then-- yeah papapa happens. (Can't remember if wwx was human or fox, also not sure if he actually saw an egg or just a nest but I'd say he did see both)

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15. Hi, I’m looking for a fic I read a while back and unfortunately I remember very little of it so I don’t even know where to start looking for it. LWJ is the emperor or prince and WWX has been sent to him as a concubine (i think) by the Jiangs but LWJ is not aware that his concubine is WWX, I think he is under the impression that WWX is missing or dead… I remember WWX coming into the throne room and LWJ being chocked that his concubine is WWX. I think A-Yuan had a hand in WWX showing up there or something. Sorry I know it’s not much to go on but it’s been living rent free in my mind for a while now. Thank you @unlimitedsparks

FOUND? True Gold Fears No Fire by defractum (nyargles) (M, 82k, WangXian, Royalty AU, Ancient China, Wuxia, Historical Inaccuracy, Arranged Marriage, Identity Porn, Mutual Pining, Emperor!LWJ, empress!wwx, Eventual Happy Ending, Misunderstandings)

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16. Hi Mods! i am looking for a Modern AU fic where WWX is dead for a moment and he wakes up in the mortuary? and there was some kind of investigation becouse magic could have been used in him? he was living with the wen siblings or was in close contaac with them. thats all i can remember (sorry for my bad grammar i am not a native speaker) @nashajtc

FOUND? 🔒 care by everbrighter (T, 35k, LSZ & WWX, WangXian, Resurrection, they have a son, Family Bonding, Getting to Know Each Other, Past Character Death, Mutual Pining, Kid Fic, Sexual Tension, (between lan yuan's pining dads), Modern with Magic) The Sudden Nature series specifically the 7th work is very similar to this ask

FOUND? 🔒 Swing From the Gallows and Wave by NyxNuit (E, 126k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, They're not 'cultivators' they're Exorcists, Murder Mystery, does this count as crack?, featuring my attempts at humor, demon hunter AU, general amounts of absurdity, cameos from other MXTX characters, Major Character Undeath, the typical pining we expect from WangXian, Not a Slow Burn Tho, the usual gratuitous music references, and gratuitous pop culture references, Sexual Content, featuring Yunmeng Bros reconciliation)

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17. Hi can u help me find a fic? its a modern setting au with fwb wangxian and pining lan zhan. weiying got into a car accident and lan zhan took care of him by invitation of jiang yanli, weiying was in a coma for a long time but lan zhan dutifully waited on his hospital bedside everyday then after weiying wake up he took him and care for him. and confessions ensue. thanks! @heizelberry

FOUND? Almost Lover by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 37k, Wangxian, modern, Angst with a happy ending, Hurt/Comfort, a bad thing happens to WWX, LWJ gets very sad, Hospital Scenes, Dubious Medical Science, pining for the person you’re fucking, Friends With Benefits, friends who come together stay together, learning to use our words, there are also rabbits, Traumatic Injury, mention of past WWX/WQ)

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18. Hiiii! Hope you're having a great day! I'm looking for a fic where LWJ is sent to kill the YLLZ without knowing it's WWX. I believe it was an one-shot. Thank You in advance!

🔒 Caught me by surprise by Say (G, 1k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Love at First Sight, YLLZ WWX, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Cute, No Angst) he was sent to apprehend YLLZ not necessarily kill him. There is another one where Lan Zhan is dressed as a dancer and then literally tried to sword fight wei ying , im looking for it now.

FOUND? hidden faces by sarahyyy (T, 1k, WangXian, Alternate Universe, Mistaken Identity, Mild Hurt/Comfort, wwx probably wasn't found by jfm or taken into the jiang sect here, so he grew up on the streets and wandered into the burial mounds at some point, and p much grew up cultivating on resentful energy etc etc, still helped take down wrh still helped take in wen remnants though)

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19. Looking for a fic, Niè Huaisang POV, crack-ish. Journal entries of his side of the novel, he has a handful of people helping him with his schemes. I read it a few years ago and apparently did not bookmark it. He eventually curses that he’s going to have to marry his most capable assistant and become chief cultivator. @any-mouse

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20. I was hoping someone knew of a fic where WWX reincarnates/ressurects as a fox kit? It's fairy recent to his death and he is reborn as part of a litter of foxes near Cloud Recesses. He hunts or plays with the rabbits and is found by LWJ and A-Yuan. There's mention later that his fox mother may have gained spiritual awareness due to the proximity of WWX's spiritual energy. I can't really remember more. Thanks in advance! @yilingweiclan

FOUND? Pin the tail on the fox by RMoonberry (Not Rated, 40k, WIP, WangXian, fox wwx, Reincarnation, Good Uncle LQR, WWX is too attractive huli jing, Light Angst, LXC is very naive, WWX and JC's reconciliation, the family feels, Misunderstandings, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, WWX is pampered, Typical Canon Violence, i think, Spirit Animals, Shapeshifter, Canon Divergence, white hair wwx, Non-consensual drug use., historical inaccuracy., mythical beasts, Implied Torture, Inaccurate use of medicines)

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[chaoticmentalitystrawberry]

I don’t usually make Tumblr posts but I have the wildest theory for the most recent Doctor Who episodes.

I think The Rani was meant to be the Master but somewhere between Season 1 and Season 2 it got changed.

And I have a lot to say about it.

Season 1 hints

Season 1 of the New Who was filled with reference to The Master. Off the top of my head, Maestro playing his theme; attacking with drums; calling the one from 72 yards the worst prime minister the UK's ever had, the Skye Boat song and the Missy quote from Boom.

RTD has a history of doing this, in 10’s second season he hinted at Saxon so many times, plastering his poster everywhere and various calls to the prime minister or Mr. Saxon.

However the second season has had not a single reference to them, not even in passing, almost like They're intentionally avoiding anything that could be constituted as a Master reference.

Mischaracterisation

The Rani hates Galifrey. From Old Who, she has hated them since she got exiled for her experiments. And what's another thing, she isn’t running a single experiment and she isn’t regarding The Doctor with contempt as she usually does. She’s treating him like Missy does in fact, flirting with him, dancing with him. ��We were lovers, we used to dance.”

The Master is the flirt with The Doctor type. From Missy kissing him, to the Spy master calling her dear. Even The Saxon Master was flirting with him. And don'ts get me started on the older Masters, from Delgado calling him “My Dear Doctor” repeatedly.

Disguise

Disguising herself in order to follow The Doctor around the universe is pulled straight from The Master’s book. From Mr Saxon, to O, to Missy pretending to be a robot, the disguises are a classic Master plot. The Rani has disguised herself once in her history for information from The Doctor.

The plot

The plot of releasing Omega to create a new Gallifrey is a very Master plan. The Rani has expressed her hate for Time Lords every since she was expelled from Galifrey for her experiments. She is a scientist that wants to run her experiments.

Where's a quote that says “Unlike the power-hungry villain archetype of the Master, the Rani was a ruthless evil scientist who wasn’t interested in ruling the universe as much as she wanted to understand it, no matter the cost.” I don’t see how any of this Omega plot is in understanding the universe.

Where's a quote that says “Unlike the power-hungry villain archetype of the Master, the Rani was a ruthless evil scientist who wasn’t interested in ruling the universe as much as she wanted to understand it, no matter the cost.” I don’t see how any of this is in understanding the universe.

On the other hand The Master continuously returns to it to try and rule it. Also taking over the entire Earth and hypnotising the entire population is also a very Master plot compared to the Rani. He literally hypnotised most of the UK as Mr Saxon whereas there’s no hypnotised in the Randi's past.

RTD and other erasures

Everyone talks about Robot Revolution being the poor man’s cyberman plot. But with this realisation, I believe it was meant to be a cyberman episode that was changed for some reason. It has the same hallmarks of a cyberman episode, with the resistance, with turning a human into part robot.

RTD recently quoted The Master “Peoples of the universe: Please attend carefully.”. And he was the first writer to bring the Master back in the newer seasons with the Saxon Master. I think he was going for another return and had to change it but kept the whole storyline the same and just replaced the Master with the Rani.

I don't know why this has happened, whether it was some other influence or not. But it doesn’t matter. This storyline was written for The Master and they were replaced by the Rani.

Now where does this leave us? In a dire place. I don't hate the Rani returning or any older villains returning and I don't hate the New Who. But what we have here is a plot written for one villain that was given to another. That has now introduced this old villain with the characterisation of another. This is the new generation of Who, some people’s first iteration of the show. And they are messing up long established characters for some reason. I don't know about anyone else but I don't feel good about this.

If you have anymore to add to this theory, tell me more.

(And thank you to my partner Vic who had to listen to all of this conspiracy theory through voice memos of me rambling)

[porkchopseven]

wilson SWEEP

[yallstar]

alright here's my idea - an au where jayvik meet as kids, with viktor working for a street magician, rigging all the fake tricks behind the scenes, and jayce as a little magic fanboy 🪄✨

some thoughts on this au:

jayce has been obsessed with magic acts ever since his life was saved by a sorcerer. there's a new performer in town who can do tricks no one else can, and jayce in convinced he must be the real deal. one day he sneaks backstage in the hopes of finding evidence of real magic, but finds viktor instead, who he assumes must be the magician's apprentice!

viktor is torn because he doesn't want to ruin this kid's enthusiasm, or risk losing his job by revealing the truth. but he also... really doesn't want to be a wizard. so he comes clean. (lol)

jayce is a little bummed to find out it's not real, but when viktor shows him how the practical effects work, jayce becomes enchanted once more. they look so convincing!! technology that can replicate magic?? he thinks that's brilliant.

from then on viktor has a little tag-along at all of their shows, and jayce even starts calling himself viktor's apprentice. viktor's embarrassed, obviously, but also undeniably charmed. he and jayce become friends, him teaching jayce about engineering and jayce (trying to) teach him about the arcane.

they are earth shatteringly adorable the entire time 😔

[albino-parakeet]

Did I nearly cry multiple times while drawing this because I was listening to Safe and Sound by Hannah Jern-Miller on repeat… yes.

Couldn’t think of a background so you get the silly page it was drawn on.

Flat colors and a Timelapse undercut:

(Flash Warning‼️‼️ I am very indecisive when it comes to shading so a heads up)

[psychomusic]

oc time again! + her town & culture (heavily inspired by pre-roman italic populations)

she is suri sauthon. her story is linked to my swtor imperial agent, tar'x, but most of her life except for the one year away where she meets him, is spent in a town in the mountains of mirial.

despite mirial being cold and desert, and many cities developing underground, her town flourishes thanks to a force nexus, venerated in the form of an ancient, sacred, alive crystal. the ecosystem of that mountain depended on what "the horned crystal" was capable of giving them, but mirialans couldn't live off of that alone, so they developed trade and some rudimental technology, even if oftentimes it was bought thanks to the highly profitable trade of a plant used to make medicines that slowed down aging and had overall healing properties.

note: everything that's generated by this nexus has these healing properties BUT they have to be processed, except for those who bathed in the waters of the cavity under the crystal - the "real" nexus, but not the worshipped one. the waters were sacred but they were not thought to be miraculous, unlike the crystal, who instead was thought of as the keystone of the ecosystem: without it, everything would fall apart (and that is partially true: the cavity was the "real" nexus but thanks to the crystal, also strong in the force, the properties were spread all over the mountains). those who bathed in the cavity's waters - so, all of the town, who had a sort of baptism there - could eat the plant, make whatever food with it, and not only that plant, but everything generated by the nexus, that, again, had similar properties. this allowed people to live up to normal life-spans without advanced medicines or, much, really. to those who didn't live there, though, after the processing, had incredible effects, slowing down aging - for those who took it regularly - and making people able to live up to half a century more than the average]

originally, there were four tribes of nomads that lived thanks to horned farm animals that decided to settle down into one bigger town and other smaller settlements, to live off of transhumance. this division of the tribes stayed into the political and social organization: every person belonged to one tribe specifically, and had slightly different rituals and culture. for examples, each tribe had their own priests and healers, with different techniques and traditions. the town, tho, was guided by a group of people in the high priesthood, a position you could reach only by having earned the trust of all tribes. those high priests had many roles: they guided the people into sacred processions common to all the tribes, they managed the trading with outsiders, they did the maintenance of the temple of the summit (the one that functioned as casket to the crystal) and created a special liquid to offer the crystal that helps it grow.

this particular temple was important because 1. it was very visible, from every angle of the town, and it became an important identity symbol; 2. it stored the venerated horned crystal; 3. it had the altar where sacrifices were made for the crystals. that altar had a hole connected to the cavity, that allowed the liquids to reach the underground; 4. it had various symbols: statues representing each tribe + the high priesthood, and typical mirialan tattoos carved into the wood of the trees that served as columns for the temple, symbolizing 8 values that who dared to enter HAD to have; 5. it was on the way to an important lake (called "mother lake" because the lake the town was built around to depended on the waters of that other lake) where they traveled to in important processions; 6. it was said that a the wizard who unified the tribes made it with its magic, making the plant grow to hold the temple's roof. this wizard was, actually, a force user, obv.

BACK TO HER THOUGH: she's daughter of one of the high priests, who was in charge of managing the trades with outsiders, and lives in a house on the mountains with her mother and him. her parents are from different tribes (that's one of the things that earned him trust from the 4 tribes): when a child is born from two different tribes, they don't pick one to allign to, but they're usually linked automatically to the one with more relatives in it (in her case, the father's tribe: she had many uncles and aunts on his side while her mom only had one sister).

later, though, she got quite tied to her mother's tribe due to a mysterious illness that only her mother's tribe healer was able to cure. she spent 4 years (from 10 to 14 years old) living with the healer and learned her secrets. to better study, she wrote them down. when she returned home, she studied to become a priestess with her father. at 22 (the average age: you can't become priest before your 20s), she was supposed to take a test and become a priestess, but the healer of her mother's tribe died and the tribe asked her to take her place. she couldn't technically do that, but both tribes estimated both her and her parents and she was allowed to become both. she then decided to try to become a high priestess, and became one at 25 (a quite young age). being part of the council, she tried to convince the various tribe healers to unite their knowledges and write them down, and eventually made it. healers still remained tribe based but they now had an "upper, inter-tribe level" similar to high priesthood.

years later, the sacred horned crystal is stolen from the temple by some Hutt mercenaries looking for a profit. given the trust she has earned from all the tribes and the fact that her father is the high priest that deals with outsiders (and she's been hearing stories and advice about it since she was little), she is the one tasked with getting it back. without the growing crystal, the keystone to their ecosystem, the village would have lasted only a few years. in hrr quest, she meets imperial intelligence agent tar'x laran and, as they "solve the mystery" and fight to have it back, they get closer. they'll get married and have a daughter, Vegoia (who's the only one who actually will get to the plot of my story. this was all background)

[damthosefandoms]

This old house

(ao3 link) (based on this post)

Summary:

The house will always be theirs, and nobody can take it away from them.

———

There was something so incredibly enticing about the attic pull cord. 

Maybe it was the proximity to Darry’s bedroom door; how every morning when he was younger, he’d get up and stand on the step-up to his room, and try to jump clear across the upstairs hallway, like the floor was made of lava, to the step-up to his parents’ room to wake them up. How he’d always manage to narrowly avoid that pull-cord smacking him in the face as he did so.

He still remembers his mother nagging him about it, about jumping around the tiny landing when it would be so easy to misstep and fall down the steep wooden staircase to his inevitable doom. He remembers his dad laughing and telling Mama to relax, because Dad did the same thing when he was a kid, growing up in Darry’s same bedroom, back when Grandpa Pat sacrificed a decade’s worth of paychecks to give each of his three boys their own bedroom, and built that addition onto the side of the house himself in between shifts at the factory and fighting in the first world war. Maybe it wasn’t perfect, but it was home, and Grandpa made sure of that.

Grandpa used to tease Darry when he was real little, back before he passed; he’d hold him up and show him his best handiwork, which in hindsight was just an amateur addition to the side of an old two-story cottage, and Darry would wiggle around in his arms and try to grab at whatever he could, including that stupid pull cord. He’d laugh and untangle it from Darry’s pudgy baby hands and put him down for a nap, right there in that room that never belonged to anybody except Darrel Curtis.

Darry thinks about Grandpa Pat every time he sees it, these days. He can’t help himself when he goes up there, always reaching out to hit it, like he’s a middle school boy trying to show off and touch the top of a doorway in the hall—it’s instinct. He’s still there, in that bedroom—a room built by his grandfather, and now that he works in construction, Darry thinks about that a lot. About how his grandfather put his whole heart and soul into making this place a home, something that their family could use for generations, and how he’s unintentionally letting it go.

If you pulled the cord, a drop-down ladder would take you up into the attic, and it would take up the entire upstairs landing when it was down. You could barely maneuver around it, and that wasn’t Grandpa Pat’s fault, but when Darry was seven, he thought his Grandpa built the whole house (he didn’t—just the two side bedrooms, upstairs and down) and would blame him for everything that he felt like complaining about. Darry could grab the cord if he jumped, but his mother used to nag him about trying, saying “quit it, baby, I don’t want you takin’ a tumble!” as he’d stand up on his tip-toes at the edge of the staircase trying to reach it.

But one day, Mama’s distracted, stuck between trying to convince her most picky eater that carrots aren’t going to kill him and trying to get baby Pony to take medicine for his fever. This is his chance—Darry’s been eating his greens and finally, finally he is tall enough to pull down the attic ladder. He just wants to see what’s up there, maybe find out where that roof leak is that Dad mentioned the other night, and maybe he’s a little stir-crazy because this is the era of barefoot kids playing baseball in sandlots, but it’s a summer afternoon in 1954 and it’s raining cats and dogs out there in east Tulsa, so he can’t go play outside.

His five-year-old neighbor Keith is sitting on the step-up to Darry’s bedroom door, laughing, and his laugh only gets more infectious when the attic door opens and the ladder drops down. Darry dives out of the way, crashing into Keith as they fall back through the door onto Darry’s bedroom floor. Mama yells something up from downstairs, but Darry ignores her, telling Keith to grab the bucket so he can get it up there so Dad doesn’t have to worry about it later. 

Fast forward and Darry’s twenty years old, reaching for that same pull cord so he can put away the holiday decorations. They don’t have to worry about leaks anymore, because Darry’s got a new job and has learned how to fix the roof, but that ladder still drops down like it has it out for him, and this time Two-Bit holds it steady for him. This time, Mama isn’t there to warn him to be careful.

---

The thing about living in what used to be a glorified summer cottage is that it’s nice, almost, in the summer. They don’t have one of those fancy central air conditioning units, but with all the windows and the front and back door open, a nice breeze will blow through every so often.

Darry remembers the summer of ‘57, when he was ten years old, and he was determined to send a paper airplane from the front door all the way out the back. Two-Bit told him it wasn’t possible, not with how their house was laid out (“Maybe if it was a straight shot, but there’s a wall in the way, Dar, it just ain’t gonna work,”) but Darry’s got two little brothers dead-set on helping prove him right.

Keith’s being going through a bit of a know-it-all phase lately, hence why they’ve started calling him Two-Bit—something about getting a little sister and “becoming the man of the house” as he puts it seems to have given him the idea he’s got to be the boss of everybody else, too. But Darry doesn’t care that the kid’s dad left right before Christmas right after his mom found out she was pregnant or that his best friend is no longer an only child or has to be involved in everything. Right now, all that matters is that he’s trying to steal Darry’s role as the coolest big kid in the neighborhood. 

Darry’s the oldest. He’s the smartest and the best at football and he’s been organizing their Fourth of July baseball games (because Darry might think football is better but the Fourth of July is a baseball holiday) for three years now, since enough big kids like them moved in to play. Two-Bit Mathews will run their little corner of the East Side over his dead body. 

He tells Sodapop and Ponyboy very carefully when they’ll need to turn on their little fans to make this work. He can only pray that his brothers are better listeners than Two-Bit’s five-year-old neighbor. The Cade kid doesn’t even talk! Pony can count to twenty and he hasn’t even seen his fourth birthday yet. Soda will make anything happen for a candy bar. Darry’s got the best throwing arm this side of the tracks; he’s got this in the bag.

Darry’s paper airplane takes a nosedive as soon as he throws it.

Ah, well. Bad luck. He’ll get his best buddy back at some point.

---

The downside to being the oldest in the neighborhood is that Darry gets stuck with the most boring jobs. At least mowing lawns makes money; walking his little brother to his friend’s house? Are you kidding? But Mama saw one too many missing kids’ faces posted on the milk cartons and now, in the fall of 1959, Darry’s stuck walking Sodapop down to his friend Steve’s house. 

It’s a longer walk there than to any of their other friends’ houses, which isn’t saying much because Two-Bit lives basically across the street and Johnny’s two houses down from him. Steve’s the only one whose house isn’t on a road directly facing the lot, though; it’s in the next block over and Darry figures that’s why they hadn’t met him until Soda started school. Or maybe he’s one of those kids whose parents just don’t let him out for some reason. 

It wouldn’t shock him if that was the case, not with how Steve’s mom had died. Darry remembers the day his mom told him about it, just a few years earlier. He had been sitting on the counter drying the dishes as usual, just opposite the oven in their tiny kitchen so he wouldn’t be in the way while his mom pulled out a piping-hot lasagna. 

“It’s for Mr. Randle and his son,” she’d said to him, placing it on the stove to cool while Darry carefully dried Soda’s favorite plate. “Glory, that poor little boy. He’s about to lose his mother. No child should ever have to grow up without a mother.”

He wonders if Soda knows what happened, or if Darry had just been told because he was old enough to understand it. The boys hadn’t met until after Mrs. Randle’s cancer caught up to her, anyway. He wonders if Steve ever talks about it. If Darry’s mother died, he sure as hell wouldn’t. Just the thought of losing his mother sends chills running down his spine. 

They’d walked this same way that day, cutting through the lot to deliver the food. Darry had skipped around the bases on the overgrown baseball field, just like Soda is now.

“Why’s this here anyway?” He muses, and Darry glances over at him. 

“What?” 

“The baseball field. Nobody ‘round here even likes baseball. I mean, Dally’s the only kid in town who really goes for that kinda thing, but he spends his summers in New York with his mom and prolly sees games all the time, but I don’t know nobody else who plays, so why we got a field here an’ all?”

“Grandpa Pat told me he asked the city to put up a backstop,” Darry says, kicking an old Pepsi can across the sandlot. “He got everyone in the neighborhood to go for it, hoping it would keep Dad an’ his buddies outta trouble. The socs on the other side of town got a real nice little league park and they thought maybe us greasers would be good like them if we got one. ‘Cept the city’s supposed to take care of our field too, but they don’t, so we got nothin’ to do and get into trouble anyway. If you ask me, I say they shoulda made it a football field, but I figure that was more expensive.”

Soda picks up a stick off the ground and swings it like a sword. “Everything’s expensive.”

“Nah,” Darry mutters, “we just don’t got no money.”

---

Sodapop’s favorite thing about their old house is the load-bearing crayon mark trailing from his bedroom door upstairs, all the way down and around the corner to the living room fireplace. Bright red crayon, scrawled for what felt like miles to the toddler behind the crime—probably his greatest feat to date. He doesn’t remember doing it, but Darry’s always reminding him who the culprit was.

Nowadays Ponyboy’s the artist of the family, and Soda’s crayons have been long since passed down. But the other piece of homemade artwork in the house that Soda treasures isn’t one of his brother’s. Ponyboy might’ve gotten his love of movies from their dad, but he got his artistic talent from their mother. Back before Soda was born, Mama was so deeply convinced she would be having a girl that she decorated the nursery for it, complete with pink, flowery wallpaper and little horses along the baseboard. She’d gotten a horse stuffed animal instead of a teddy bear for her baby girl and when a boy was born instead, she put her foot down and stood by it. Called him her little cowboy. 

(His horsey is named Rascal, by the way. Pony’s the only one who knows he still sleeps with it stuffed under his pillow because every time he sees it, he zeroes in on the “surgery scars” from where his mother had sewed it back together after playing too rough as a kid and he’ll run a finger over the stitches and feel close to her again.)

Soda may not have been the best academically, and maybe he couldn’t even attempt to really start reading until he was seven, and maybe he’s not the best at math but—there are 167 little horses along the walls of his bedroom. He’s named and treasures every single one of them. Admittedly, the walls of what was originally Soda’s bedroom still are covered in the pink, flowery wallpaper. It proved too much of a project to take down.

---

Seeing Paul at the rumble, for Darry, was like seeing a teacher in public. A person that you’ve compartmentalized away into being in one specific part of your life and never expecting to see outside of that. Of course, that’s where the comparison ends, and now, with Ponyboy sleeping the day (and hopefully his fever) away and Soda working a triple shift at the DX because Darry’s gotta stay home with the kid, he’s left to his own devices. 

That’s never a good thing, because free time always ends with him either stressing about money or thinking about Paul, and that’s what brings him upstairs to his old room, where now he’s trying to patch the hole Paul punched into the wall when they were seventeen. 

He’d been angry with his parents that day. Darry doesn’t remember the exact reason why, but he’d watched as Paul slammed his fist into the wall, immediately cringing away afterwards in pain. It wasn’t the first time someone’s done that in their house, and it probably won’t be the last, but it left a hole there that Darry covered up with a football poster and forgot about until now.

Now, when he can still feel Paul’s fist on his jaw. Damn. He really should’ve iced it.

Darry thinks back to that night. He’d been lucky, really, that no one overheard the whole thing. Usually, the walls between their rooms upstairs were so thin that anyone sneaking in would wake Soda up immediately, but when he tore his ACL at the rodeo, their parents made Ponyboy switch rooms with him, and that kid—once he’s really asleep—doesn’t wake up for anything. Except the occasional nightmare, or if he’s sleepwalking, which is why his room was downstairs in the first place. But then Soda got thrown off that horse and his knee has been and probably always will be fucked because of that, and so he gets priority with the downstairs bedroom. Fair enough.

(Pony moved back into that room with Soda anyway after their parents died, so it’s not like it was ever that big a deal. Darry sure isn’t complaining about having the whole upstairs to himself these days. He gets some quiet.)

Paul would show up pretty often back in those days, and here’s the thing. Darry’s bedroom was upstairs, the one on the side of the house, and probably the second-nicest room behind Ponyboy’s, because they both had a window on three of their four walls. Sodapop used to bitch and moan for hours about how hot his room would get at night, having the tiniest room in the house, right above the kitchen. The only downside to Darry’s room upstairs was that Grandpa Pat apparently missed the class where they taught him how to build a level floor. 

(Seriously, it’s a good thing Darry’s got two closets built in, because even his bed will slide down the floor if you don’t push it up against the outer wall, and he could swear it’s getting worse over time.)

That and the fact you’d have to scale the side of the house to get in, which probably didn’t help Paul’s attitude when he was already pissed off. 

Well, he was probably more scared than anything, but Darry’s been sworn to secrecy on pretty much every conversation they ever had that involved Paul’s parents, so he’s not about to question it. He knows what goes on in that empty house on the West Side. 

He punched the wall and Darry had snuck downstairs to get some ice and the first aid kit, praying Soda wouldn’t wake up and hear him. 

They don’t really talk about it, but… but Darry gets it and he’s got a way he copes with getting angry, so he talks Paul into coming with him downtown to Tim’s once his hand is healed, to borrow his punching bag, the same one he was teaching Darry to box on.

There’s a million things Tim Shepard could say about Darry bringing a soc into the ring, but he keeps his mouth shut, ‘cause he knows better.

The thing is, Darry gets angry too, and he gets angry a lot. And it’s really hard to stop being angry once you start, sometimes. His parents have reminded him time and again about when he was eleven how he’d gotten so frustrated while playing with his brothers that he’d held Soda upside down from the monkey bars until he cried uncle, and then when Pony snitched and Mama came out to holler at him, he got so worked up yelling back that he dropped Soda.

And, you know, all those hours in the emergency room waiting for somebody to put a cast on his brother’s arm kinda knocked some sense into him. He doesn’t want anyone to get hurt just because he couldn’t control his anger ever again.

So boxing kind of helped. It gave Darry something to get his anger out on, and it was exercise, and maybe—just once or twice—he had made a few bucks off it. He never told his parents about it. They’d gotten real upset back when Soda was nine and spent a month practically begging Mama to sign him up for classes ‘cause he heard about it on tv and thought it was cool.

Dad used to tell them never to hit anything he could hurt. And Darry gets that, he does. But Grandpa Pat didn’t take the fall for nothing, and the money he’d posthumously made from it all paid off the house. Darry lost all interest in the sport after his parents died, and he pretends he doesn’t know that Soda still sneaks out to Tim’s backroom ring just like he used to, just to feel something. 

Darry doesn’t hit people or things anymore, or he tries not to. Whether it runs in the family or not, it has fully lost its appeal. 

Until a storm takes the chimney off the roof and Darry feels like punching another hole into the wall. It’s just one thing after another.

---

The post on the corner of the wall by the kitchen is cracking. Darry hasn’t cried in years—not in front of anybody, anyway, not like Soda does or Pony will under pressure, but.

But right now he feels like sitting on the floor and sobbing.

He knows how to fix it. He knows he should, and maybe there’s even enough in the budget this month to afford it. But at the end of the day it’s really just cosmetic, maybe, and the rest of the house has cracks in the walls and water damage and stains and that fucking crayon mark, and those—well they aren’t more pressing but he thinks about it a lot.

That’s not what’s killing him.

The crack in the wood, now big enough to really be noticeable, is about three feet above the ground, and it runs right through his dad’s name, written in Grandpa Pat’s shaky handwriting. 

Darrel 6/7/30 — 3 y/o — shoes on.

Not the lowest point on the Curtis Wall of Fame’s height chart, but one of Darry’s favorites. It’s dumb. But he crouches down and runs his hand over the letters anyway. He looks a little above, searching for the same date. 

In pencil: 

Patrick Jr. 6/7/30 — 10 years — new boots!

Mikey 6/7/30 —  8 years — barefoot.

Darry’s the only one of his siblings who met their grandfather, but even he’s never met his uncles. They both died in the second world war.

Mama’s on there, too. Only once, and the date reads their wedding anniversary—the day she moved in. The same date is by dad’s name up at the top. Neither of them had much more growing to do, at that point. 

Well, Dad didn’t. Mama was growing a baby at the time.

God, Darry misses them.

He looks down again.

Darrel Jr. 4/17/58 — 11y/o — shoes on.

Sodapop 8th birthday — no shoes.

Ponyboy Michael Curtis 11/14/1953 — 4mos. — sock feet.

Darry can’t help but grin at that one. It’s Pony’s first, measured younger than anybody else. Sock feet. It’s so Mama. Soda’s entries never seem to have shoes on, probably because he has never once willingly worn shoes (or socks) in his life. He hates the way it feels wearing them, and Darry swears he’s spent more of his life listening to Soda complain about his socks being itchy than he has playing football, and Darry has played a lot of football in his twenty years. Soda complains about shoes more than he complains about reading, and he used to cry over having to read six times a day. 

Their family are not the only people they keep track of. The height chart is like a welcome to the family. He knows Pony’s always looking at this wall, like he’s memorizing just how long their friends have been part of their lives.

Keith Mathews — 16mos. 10/20/50 — no shoes.

No surprise there. You know someone's family when even Darry doesn’t remember a time without them around.

John Cade — 4/13/1957 — 6 y/o — shoes on.

Steven Randle — almost 7 — 4/13/57. No shoes.

There’s a mark with Soda’s name next to it listed with the same date. It’d been the first time Johnny and Steve slept over. Soda hadn’t stopped talking about it for a month after. Darry wonders if Soda had realized why their parents hadn’t wanted either boy to go home.

There’s a few marks with names scratched out. Darry knows the one pretty high up that looks like it was carved out with a knife used to say Paul’s name. He’s pretty sure Soda scratched out Sandy’s, too.

Somebody must’ve been embarrassed and started to scribble over the next one he reads, but  they must’ve gotten stopped halfway through, because it’s still legible:

Dallas W. age 9 — cowboy boots — 12/21/58.

Darry’s still lost on how Mama pulled that off. Dally’s got only one other mark on the wall, pretty high up, actually:

Dally — 17th birthday (1966) — cowboy boots.

Soda’s also got one from that day, and it’s the only one where he is wearing shoes, actually. Cowboy boots, just like Dally. Soda had begged for them for years, and got them sixteenth birthday. 

It had been an apology gift from their dad, for banning him from the rodeo. They couldn’t afford Soda risking his health like that, but they could find room in the budget for some nice boots, right? Soda hates shoes, so begging for them was a big deal.

That, and Soda just really likes matching with his friends. Hell, Darry’s half-convinced the reason he works at the DX with Steve is because they get to have matching uniform shirts and hats.

(Well, that, and Evie’s dad owns the greasy joint and has known them for years, so he hired Soda full-time on the spot when he dropped out of school. Apparently he used to be buddies with Uncle Patrick, and Mr. Mathews, actually, back before the war, but now he’s the only one left. Darry kind of understands the feeling.)

Darry hasn’t made the gang line up since his parents died. Most of them are done growing anyway, and even if he did have time to think about it, he can’t imagine seeing anybody’s handwriting up there for his friends, other than his Mama’s and Grandpa Pat’s and maybe a few other family members Darry never got to meet. He runs his hand over the most recent mark, his Mama’s last.

Johnny 12/25/66 — 15 — NEW yellow high tops!

Pony had spent months saving up to get him those. Now they sit up on the mantle collecting dust because he won’t let anyone touch them. 

There’s a crack in the mantle, too, but this house is all they’ve really got, and it just wouldn’t be home if it wasn’t falling apart.

———

bonus inspo pics (because this fic was based on my grandma’s old house that she's since moved out of & it doesn't look like that anymore due to renovations over the years so i'm not doxxing anybody, and I miss it there so. fucking. bad.):

[izfaish]

yeah hi he's my oc now. bold words i know. anyway here's my fic about him bc i'm starved of lore skfjgfhds

[art--harridan]

[Image description: A traditional drawing of Katrina from the film Vamp. It is boldly coloured with oil pastels, and is a close-up of her face, stretched out to bare her fangs. Both her mouth and her eyes are wide open, although one of her eyes is obscured in a dark shadow. She is deeply shadowed, although the contours of her face are lit up from below in a bright and unnatural neon green, which also makes her visible eye look uncanny. There is a pink rim light around the top of her head, and deeper reds behind her. The oil pastels create a grainy texture that is offset by the rigidity of the colour blocking of the different tones of her face.]

[coquelicoq]

if you want the rewards of talking to your sister about her favorite works of philosophy you must submit to the mortifying ordeal of reading one of your sister's favorite works of philosophy and then admitting to her it was a little over your head. which is not actually that mortifying because your sister has great taste and is also very lovely and non-judgmental.

[twinklingwatermellon]

also I think it’s time for a little Elly Lore Update because I feel like I mention so many people on here and y’all need to understand who I’m taking about when you attend the virtual sleepovers 😌

[pocketramblr]

Could you talk MORE about ideas and thoughts of Kon and Jemahl becoming friends? What about their individual characters that makes you love them?

Yeah!!! I absolutely can keep talking about them!!!

My love of Kon started decades ago when I was a young child taken to Six Flags by my grandparents, I was too terrified to ride the Superman ride but the giant Super Family character signs around the ride enchanted me, especially the extremely cool looking Superboy. Years later when I actually read Reign of the Supermen I was like "yeah this kid rules" but also realized that John Henry was the most perfect man ever. Superboy as a clone of a dead man trying to find the role he was "supposed" to have while also discovering who he was resonated with me for. reasons. He's a good mix of relatable personally, and reminding me of some of my students- kids who want to do good but struggle with a lack of context or support. John Henry being one of his few early places of support is but one reason why he is so perfect. Anyway, then I started reading Superboy (94). I think the idea of using superhero to explore child celebrity exploitation is a good one but the execution is all over the place, so my favorite parts of the run really are the Cadmus focused segments and my top arc is always Hypertime. I love alt versions of the same character. Yes, yes, look into the mirror and confront those parts of yourself!!! I also love how Kon just does not give up, not in a fight, and not in believing in others. This is partially because he's so much like Superman because he wants to be, and partially because he's two years old. Both reasons are great.

Desiring to read more of John Henry, I then started reading Steel (94), which is, well, a comic about a Black superhero in the nineties whos execution is also a bit over the place. I think it's absolutely worth a read, but... Now, Jemahl is introduced as a 14 year old boy who's getting involved in a gang and obviously his uncle is unhappy with that. His family keeps telling him why it's a bad idea, but to no avail. Now, Jemahl isn't as relatable to me personally, but I am a Jemahl Defense Team Member. Not everyone in the Irons family is exactly the genius engineer that perfect man John Henry is, but they're all smart. Smart enough to figure out Steel's identity even when John Henry had been faking his death for five years at that point.

So, Jemahl is a smart kid who's father was killed* by a gang despite not being involved with anything*, and then his uncle and the family's main financial support was also killed* despite being wholly separated from any criminal activity*, and for the last five years has watched his mother support his great-grandparents, himself, his little sister, and younger foster siblings all on her own. Because they don't have any other family, because everyone else was killed for his grandparents being civil rights activities. So, when Jemahl's family keeps telling him to stay away from that sort of things because it'll be more dangerous... Why would he believe them? Sure, they say it, but all the evidence points to the fact that staying away just means you don't see when it's coming and have no backup when danger and death and bullets comes for you anyway, like it did his father and uncle. Jemahl loves his family and wants to help them. Jemahl is also a Black fourteen year old who is denied agency and opportunity for both his race and his age, which must be incredibly frustrating. Yeah, I really cannot blame him for not immediately jumping to obeying every thing his uncle said when he came back, because you know, this uncle has been falsely playing dead for five years. I know John Henry's a perfect man, but Jemahl's got no reason to! Especially not when more people start dying! If only John Henry returned for a time and could rebuild a relationship with his nephew by offering understanding of his motivations and actual support to act in a better way to reach his goal of protecting people and not feeling powerless. Alas, soon Steel got a new writing team and John and Natasha leave DC and Jemahl is sent away to witness protection program with his mother and great-grandfather and basically never seen again except one issue where Natasha visits for Christmas and it is... Not great. I don't know if him being forgotten at that point is a mercy because at least it means they didn't do anything worse with him, but... Anyway in 2015 DC was reshuffling the timeline again and for a brief, beautiful two issues we saw a world where John Henry took both Natasha and Jemahl with him to Metropolis when he left DC, and taught them how to repair his armor so they could feel like they were a part of helping defend others without putting them in danger themselves. Uh and then they built their own suits and immediately jumped to being heroes themselves because of course they did. Wow! It's like Jemahl flourishes when given the right tools to be the caring and protective guy he is! (This is a little weird though because these issues make him younger than Natasha instead) Tragically after the reshuffling, Jemahl Irons never existed. But they said the same thing about Kon and hey look who came back anyway!

So that's why I love those two guys individually. But I also think they could play off each other in a lot of fun ways:

As John Henry's nephew who has complicated feelings but ultimately respects and admires his uncle, especially when given the chance to follow in his shoes, and as the first kid John really got to help in this way. I mean, Kon knew John before he knew Kal. His idea of Superman is tinted by Steel's advice. I think Kon reminded John of his niblings at first, and so there's some good friendship there. (Much like how I enjoy Kon and Natasha being friends).

People have immediate assumptions when they see Kon and when they see Jemahl, in very different ways. Are they jealous of the other, or are they glad it's not what the other deals with because they at least feel familial understanding for their own problems?

When Match was introduced, the Agenda was intending on making and selling hundreds of Superboy clones to use as weapons, Kon was like, "uh??? Slavery??? Bad?!?!?" And I imagine Jemahl would have opinions on this whole thing as well. In fact, Jemahl would have opinions about a lot of things in the SB run, because part of it is Kon being a few months old at the start and having no context for anything like, you know, the colonization of Hawai'i, and part of it is because Kon's a white boy written for white boys. Not only would Jemahl have opinions, he would love to share them and educate Kon, and only somewhat because he'd get to feel like the smart one for once. (Curse of being only a mildly genius kid in a very genius family ig)

Actually they both do have shades of really needing to feel needed and become depressed, albeit in different directions, when they don't. Also, abandonment issues... So much. I'm sure that's something that would get better with their friendship. Or not. Could go either way, highly dependent on timeline lol

I think they could just also hang out. Like, I think they'd enjoy each other's company because it would come with much fewer expectations compared to basically anyone else in their home/hero communities. They can listen to music together, or play with TTK, or say things about girls that they will absolutely wish they had not said once they are no longer aged 14-16. If this is a post-rebirth friendship after they both get powergirl'd, they can hang out and either talk about the world they miss or Absolutely Not Talk About It and just soak in not being alone, at least in this way.

*yeah his dad and uncle weren't really killed and yeah they were involved but that was secret shhh this is as far as Jemahl knows

[dozyisdead]

so… i did an art? i haven’t drawn in this style in at least a year so apologies if it doesn’t look good or like Charlie Boy at all, but i had inspiration in my math class and my teacher wasn’t paying attention

• CHARLES MARC HERVÉ PERCEVAL LECLERC • XVI •

• Sacrifice to the Prancing Horse • The Martyr | The Saint •

[britneyshakespeare]

you know i'm usually the last person to have strong opinions on movie casting announcements but the idea of jacob elordi playing heathcliff stirs a fiery sense of indignation in my heart

[yardsards]

"i dunno, i don't think i have social anxiety or anything, i'm just awkward. like, i can do public speaking with no problem so long as i have a script, it's just that certain weird things make me nervous. it's fine, i just make it sound worse than it is when talking to my therapists." <=guy whose gut feelings are frequently convinced that basically everyone wants to beat him with hammers

[swagstar]

i need more heavy and scout as a character combo. the calm*, jaded, hardened, hardworking "i need to take care of everybody" oldest sibling and the "LOOK AT ME", annoying, put down, boasting youngest sibling. they need to be put in a room alone together