#this is actually an edited screencap of my friend bullying me

[mankillercalledbunny]

Inspired by every "141 group chat" headcanon

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Okay so tumblr did something super weird with the formatting and I couldn’t fix it; for some reason it had the page cut under the ask itself (as if the ask itself had the page cut in it) so I literally couldn’t edit it out and re-format it right. So I just took a screencap of the ask and I’ll respond via a standard textpost.

Gonna give a little warning because I’m gonna be talking about child abuse a bit.

Glad to hear it, anon. :) I try to keep an open mind with these discussions.

Tbh, I kinda get uncomfortable with some of the stuff I've seen in her tag regarding Zuko especially. I've seen a handful of people kind of dismissing him as being whiny or sensitive, and I just don't really vibe with that. I don't have anything against any of the people I've seen posting it, but I just don't vibe with.

I'm also gonna take the opportunity to try to break some of the misconceptions about the Azula fandom by saying that I don't feel afraid or intimidated to kinda go against a good portion of the fandom in a sense. And that's because, fellow Azula fans have never really outcast me or tried to fight me for saying that I think that Azula's a bit of an abuser. The Azula fandom imo, isn't full of bullies and hateful people; everyone I have talked to has been very open to a nice discussion. I think that it just depends how you approach them with your arguments.

All of that said, Imma get back on topic here; It’s a little tough to talk about Azula's flaws sometimes because I feel like (though, thankfully this hasn’t happened on tumblr to me yet) that some people take pointing out flaws in your faves as bashing them or posting hate.

But honestly this is really cool to hear because back when I first opened up this blog I used to do that thing where I’d justify everything that my faves did, which was a bit of a problem because my faves are all antagonists! xD So there has been a lot of progress made.

I think that there are three main reasons that people have a hard time admitting that she’s an abuser too.

I think that the biggest one is that a lot of Azula fans lately have been massively on the defensive. There has been quite a bit of hate in her tag, there have been things said by the writers (taken the wrong way or not), there have been a lot of generalizations, and so on. And all of it kind of puts fans on the defensive. I see so many posts about how Azula is irredeemable and just the worst, most evil character in the show and so people kind of swing hardcore the other way (Azula did nothing wrong) to make up for all of the demonizing she gets. One extreme usually leads to another. Seeing Azula get so much shit, like being called a killer and a sadist, provokes the Azula is a cinnamon roll reaction. Basically when a fandom gets put on blast for being 'the crazy' or 'mean' side of the fandom, I feel like it creates a cycle where that part of the fandom starts to actually act meaner because they feel backed into a corner. The more they are called 'delusional' for seeing good in Azula the more radically they will start to defend that belief until the shades of grey start disappearing, if that makes sense.

But this is just a theory of course.

The second reason I think that people tend to dismiss the things she does do wrong is that there's this association with criticism and hate. And this goes beyond the Avatar fandom. In general I feel like people find it hard to say bad things about their favorite characters because they feel like they're bashing their character and/or they don't want people to think that they are being negative. Plus it's just kinda hard to say bad things about something you like/love. Speaking as someone who used to do this; I always felt really weird about or like I was being negative when admitting that things I like have flaws. I'm not exactly sure why I used to feel like this because it wasn't an, 'I seem myself in this character, so insulting them is like insulting me' thing because I usually have almost nothing in common with my faves. Idk, it's just always been way easier for me to find things I like in a character I hate than it is for me to find things I don't like in a character that I do. On a personal level, it might just be because I'd rather focus on liking things that I like than hating things that I hate?

I guess that I think that it's just easy to forget that 'I don't like xyz aspect of Azula' is not the same as 'I don't like Azula at all'. I think that it's possible to love a character but not love everything about them, just like real people; you can love your mom to death but there will always be those things about her that drive you nuts.

And really, imo, I think that fans who are able to see flaws with their faves are the ones who understand them the best. I'm definitely not saying that the people who don't see/acknowledge their fave's flaws don't understand their fave. But I think that they are missing out on very crucial aspects of their favorite character. If you like a character you should like them for what they are in canon, not what you want them to be or what they could be.

I see a lot of potential for growth in Azula. I see potential for a redemption arc and I do love what her character can be. But I also love her character as is. Currently in canon, she's manipulative and goal driven to the point where she has a disregard for people. Currently she's an antagonist and I love her for that. Because antagonist, unredeemed Azula is the character I liked in the beginning. I don't condone her being manipulative and I don't like that as a personality trait. But I do love it as far as, she is a fantastically written antagonist. And those cold, manipulative, abusive traits add to her complexity when juxtaposed against her own abuse, insecurities, and need to be loved.

And that's kind of what I mean when I say that, if you like Azula, you should like her despite the flaws.  If that makes sense. I feel like people who say that she isn't an abuser (at least to some degree) kind of have a misunderstanding of her character. I think that one of the points of her character is to show that some abused kids don't come out okay. It's a tragic reality.

But with Azula I think that there's still room for her to change and start to break that cycle. I feel like she'd have a much harder time doing it than Zuko, because she has been subjected to his mental abuse in close range for much longer than he has. And I think that it would be something she'd struggle with her whole life, but I see good in her.

That said, I think that the third reason people have trouble seeing her as an abuse is because it is just really hard to see abuse victims become the abuser. I've mentioned before, but I come from a family where the chain ended with one of my parents. Said parent has told me many times how hard it was to fight that kind of upbringing. That's the real tragedy of abuse, it just goes on and on until you're mentally strong enough to fight yourself and break that chain. And the sad thing is, that some people just can't seem to do that. And I think that when discussing Azula, this comes into play a bit; it's just hard to look at even a fictional abuse victim and knowledge that they've become the abuser because it is all that they have known.

It's just a really hard topic and  that's why it's so easy for discourse like this to get heated; a lot of people have an Azula in their lives or relate to her in some way.

Thanks for the ask, sorry it took so long to reply! I wanted to make it thoughtful and word everything the best that I can.

As always, everyone is welcomed to chime in and give their own opinions.

EDIT: There are a few things that I don’t think I was clear enough on with the initial post lol. First and foremost, I’m definitely not saying that these three reasons are the only reasons people don’t talk about Azula’s flaws. @wingsfreedom​ made a good point about differing ways of interpreting scenes. That’s another biggy. 

The other thing I want to clarify is that I don’t think that Azula is a full on abuser. I think that she displays tendencies and does some abusive things. But I also don’t put her on the same level as Ozai. I feel like she’s a bit more merciful than him. Like Ozai is pretty much too far gone; he’s an abuser and his mind is set there. Azula, I think still has the capacity to break the chain. She’s not a lost cause. I also feel like she can be reasoned with more than Ozai. Ozai is all about power; Azula is motivated more by desperation (be it for her father’s love, to keep the last bit of control she has, and to keep her friends). It still leads to that harmful behavior, but I don’t think that she’s a lost cause like Ozai. Like, she has some abusive tendencies now, but I can also see her being able to break the chain under the right conditions.  If that makes sense. 

[moonbeammuses-a]

// so here’s a bit of a drama post addressing some recent hate I got. 

First, I received this lovely anon: 

Which seems to be upset that my enby muses, Emmerson and Ripley, use binary pronouns (even tho Ripley also uses They/Them). I didn’t address this, but talked to my best friend about it, who took the opportunity to make a post discussing their experience with gender and  pronouns, which I reblogged. (and have since deleted and re-reblogged with nicer notes.) Anyway, today I got this: 

EDIT: I have, while writing this post, gotten TWO MORE anons that I’m not going to bother posting but HAVE screencapped for my records. I got these DESPITE blocking the original anons.

Now, I have it in my rules that I won’t post anon hate, but this time I gotta. If this is the idea people get when they see my blog, then I guess I need to explain.

Friendo, you’re in for a fucking surprise. I AM NONBINARY. And I use She/Her. I ain’t erasing SHIT. Having muses with the same identities as my own isn’t “token” anything.

Not only do I fit the bill for being enby and using binary pronouns, but so do SEVERAL other enby people I know and have met while attending a local trans support group. Some are HIGHLY uncomfortable with binary pronouns, and that’s completely okay! They deserve to be treated with the respect and dignity of being properly addressed every time they are spoken to and about! 

But for MYSELF, I use She/Her, and am comfortable with them. I wouldn’t write these muses as using binary pronouns if I didn’t know it was possibly comfortable for an enby person to do so. and for me, and my muses that use them, it is.

So, you know, thanks for the anxiety and feeling like I had to come out to not be looked at as a piece of shit.  And congrats, in trying to “defend” nonbinary people, you bullied one into coming out. Great job. 

Ah well. 

Might as well turn this into an actual coming out post I guess.    

-clears throat- 

Genderfluid nonbinary, to be more specific. I am okay with being referred to as a woman, and comfortable with She/Her pronouns. 

Nice to meetcha. 

[shyanlibrary]

I was scrolling through your blog and you mentioned that faq doesn't work for Android and I have an android so could you please tell me the gist of what I should know? Thanks!!

Okay, so:

~ To know before asking

English is my second lenguage and I’m latina. Sorry for any mistakes I may make with my english and my different time zone.

I have read ALL finished fanfictions tagged under Ry*n B*rg*ra/Shan* M*dej tag at AO3 posted until feb. 14, 2018. I read everything that calls my attention in the tag from that day on.

I have my preferences and I have not read certain fics that may trigger old traumas and etc. Personal preferences are listed here.

Most recs I do are personal and come from my favorite fanfictions in the fandom. I’m a very picky person, so what I may like, you may not. I will not tolerate any kind of hate because of this.

Hate speech of any kind and “anti” sentiments are NOT welcome in this blog. I will never support the bullying and self-righteous feeling some members in certain portions of the fandom may post in the tags.

I only read shyan fanfics and I’m not into polyam. This doesn’t mean these kind of fics aren’t allowed in this blog, just that I won’t be reading them.

This also means platonic stuff will NOT be listed here, since this blog is dedicated to the romantic aspect of this dynamic, as already pointed out by the shipname SHYAN.

I believe all fics deserve exposure, but for safety and the purpose of this blog some may not be listed here.

~ Won’t be on this blog

Contains narrative, dialogues, tropes and speech born from racism, homophobia, transphobia, any kind of hate speech.

Platonic works crosstagged in the Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej tag. Exceptions: Pre-slash and queerplatonic.

Shipping works crosstagged in the Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej tag, since we should not be the problem by invading spaces that does not belong to us.

The author is a known bully, guilt trips other people into doing things for them, is a racist, homophobic, fetishist, abuser, toxic member of the fandom.

Feminization that isn’t born from a kink explored in the story is also not welcomed and will not be encouraged.

Contains queerbaiting.

Fetishises the relationship or one of the boys in any way, especially Ryan.

Abusive relationships that stay that way, especially between the boys.

Contains non-con, underage, pedophilia, necrophilia, bestiality, especially between the couple.

Exposes a kink or dynamic that is not abusive in real life in an abusive way. This applies especially with BDSM fics. Works that expose the dynamics in a negative way without this being part of the story, aka makes believe the reader is a positive rep, are not allowed in this blog.

~ Frequently Asked Questions

Do you know this one fic…?

If you want me to find you a fic you read a long time ago and you can’t remember the name or author, please tell me as much as you can about it and I will try to find out which one is. In case I can’t, I will make you a list with options that may be.

Before sending this, PLEASE, check the finds tag to know if someone else has already asked about it.

I don’t read watpatt fics, only AO3 and tumblr fics.

You think I should post my fic?

DO IT. All authors deserve exposure and I will support you as much as I can. I will read your fic, I will comment it, I will rec it.

You gotta realize that this fandom is small and very nice; people do care about their writers and try their best to leave feedback and is very, very rare that someone would leave a bad comment.

I understand the fear of posting, believe me I do, but I want you to know that you are not alone and you will find your own public, there is always a reader for each author.

What’s the most famous fic in the fandom?

No such thing, to be honest.

But the most hitted and kudoed fanfc in the tag is Foolish Mortal by ghostwheeze, most commented fic is A Ghoul’s Guide to Life, Death & Afterliving by MercurySkies, and most bookmarked fic is two to fall apart by literalmetaphor.

Fics I’ve seen more recommended in lists and so are Foolish Mortal by ghostwheeze (which isn’t actually shyan–  it’s platonic, by the way. But even though the author told this in the story, people still considers it a shyan story, so I’m torn if I should keep including it or not. Let me know what you think), be all my sins remembered by spoopyy (in which Shane is a vampire), Oblivion by InkStainsOnMyHands and contrapposto by spoopyy.

Would you recommend me a fanfic about…?

Here is my personal rec list: post | page. I also check my rec lists masterpost with all the list I’ve made.

Would you read my fanfic?

Please, first read this little page and then, if your fic doesn’t contain any of these things, go ahead, send me a link and I will happily read it.

Can I rec you/your followers a fic?

Sure, submit your fic rec here (and remember to follow the rules). If you don’t know how to submit, visit this page. Do not rec platonic stuff, this is a blog for shyan. Means romantic dynamic.

Allowed kind of platonic: queerplatonic and pre-slash (meaning It is known and obvious they will eventually land into a relationship).

I don’t want my fanfic in your blog.

That’s fine. Just tell me which one is and you won’t see it ever again over here.

Why do you call yourself Nini from Fandom Resources?

My friend, Beru (yaboimadej), always called me Fandom Resources Girl before we became friends while in another fandom. I’m someone who loves to help, and every time someone had a doubt about something in that one old fandom, I tried to help them no matter what.

When I started to do the same in the BFU fandom, she started to call me ‘Nini from BFU Fandom Resources’ and here we are.

Which of the boys is your favorite?

I love both of them, but maybe Ryan is ultimately my “favorite”. Yet, I’m a little more sexually attracted to Shane. Probably because he is the type of man I usually date. My current boyfriend is a 6'4 big guy with sandy blond hair and a devilish smile, so there is that.

What the fuck with the big-dick-Madej thing?

So, abuelas and tías in Mexico say that a man with big hands and big feet have a big dick. In my experience, cocks tend to fit the dude’s body, so me and many other authors came into the conclusion that Shane probably has a fitting cock. And well– he is the Big Guy, you know.

What do you think about their girls?

I respect Sara and whoever Ryan may date in the futre, fanfics that bashes them are not allowed in this blog. I also made a little rant regarding the way outsiders or newies always try to damage our fandom regarding them here.

What else will be in this blog aside from fanfics?

Fanart and edits done for fanfics. In case someone did a fanart and next, an author made a work based on it, it will be reblogged. You will also find prompts, prompts lists, writing memes, writing resources and references that may help for fanfics (aka information about the boys and their work).

Also, I will be reblogging the videos of the episodes and other “official” stuff of BFU and/or the boys.

Can I tag you in my fanfic?

Yes. You can mention the blog or you can tag the blog in your first five (5) tags of your post, and I will reblog it here and (maybe, unless you ask me to) read it.

Tag tag the blog as #shyanlibrary NOT #shyan library, please.

Do you enjoy doing this?

I love it. Please never stop writing and/or supporting fanfiction.

Do you write BFU fanfics?

I do! My AO3 profile is here. Right now, I’m busy with life and other sutff, but I do have plenty of ideas you can check out here.

Other social media I can find you in?

yaboybergara | twitter | letterboxd | instagram

Nina, can you help me with something else?

Fandom related? Of course. Please check this tag with all the thingys I have helped with on my main blog, and if your thingy is not there, send me a message at yaboybergara and I see what I can do.

I help finding information, videos, icons, screencaps, etc.

Writing? Send me a message and let me see what I can do. You can send me your ideas, fic or drafts at the Library’s e-mail. Send me a message for it.

Personal? I’ll try my best.

[butterflyinthewell]

Let’s clear up this hooey with “orlandomakeup” right here, right now.

* * * TW: Mentions of violence, attempted murder, rape culture, abuse, a suicide attempt, alcohol (spiked drink) and severe bullying. * * *

This post was typed with a calm mind. It’s not an angry retaliation. I want to set the facts straight on this issue. I have no desire for anyone to send hate to orlandomakeup or boycott them-- I only encourage a boycott of anything that supports Autism Speaks.

This person is not keen on keeping facts straight. They’re projecting their own behavior onto me. I’m merely laying out the facts and letting the rest of the chips fall where they may.

(Note: I made some minor edits and corrections because I was interrupted several times while trying to type this and it posted to my blog instead of drafts for some reason. It should all be correct now as of 1:35pm PST on August 5, 2017.)

First off, it sounds like orlandomakeup is a caregiver and not autistic themselves. The artist is not the problem, it’s the person promoting their art. I think the artist is unaware that Autism Speaks is harmful, but orlandomakeup seems to conveniently leave off any means of contacting the artist who painted the artwork.

Anyway, here’s the facts of what happened.

My reblog of the post in question. Orlandomakeup deleted the original, so you won’t find it on their page unless they reposted it from scratch.  http://butterflyinthewell.tumblr.com/post/163797108223/orlandomakeup-buy-a-painting-and-support-autism

They responded via the post comment system. It’s on the post, but I’ll put the text of it here, too: (images of the art left off to prevent the screenshot from getting huge, you can see them if you click the link I shared above.)

Their text on the post: 

“Buy a painting and support autism. 10% of sale will be donated to Autism Speaks. Painting created through the eyes of autism.

White snowflake on cobalt blue background. Acrylic paint. Small amount of blue glitter for added sparkle. Feeling of calm, winter, peace, tranquility, contentment. 16"x20" canvas.

#autism #autistic #abstractart #artforautism #aspergerssyndrome #autismspectrumdisorders #highfunctiningautism #autismspeaks #autisticartist #autismawareness #autismsupport #photooftheday #potd #abstractart #aspergers #lifewithautism #artforaspergers

(Ebay link left off to avoid it getting clicks.)”

My reblog text:  

“Don’t buy this art. The money goes to a charity that harms autistic people. I wish the OP would support ASAN instead at autisticadvocacy.org because that charity really helps autistic people without trying to silence or erase us.”

And their comment

“The artist is autistic, and Autism Speaks has never harmed her. You speak of bullying yet you bully. The artist has been bullied everyday of her life due to autism. She has even been held by gun and knife, shot and stabbed at, and beaten until left nearly for dead. Your hate exemplifies why people are bullies towards those of us with autism.”

They’re calling me a bully because I reblogged the linked post above and told people not to buy “this art” because it’s supporting Autism Speaks and said I wished the artist would support ASAN instead. ASAN (Autistic Self-Advocacy Network) is a charity run by autistic people that actually helps autistic people and not parents / caregivers / anybody except the actually autistic people. 

They equated my behavior to being bullied-- to being shot, stabbed, beaten, etc. Just...what? I was bullied in nearly the same way for being autistic, same as the artist. I was never shot at (thank God), but for all 4 years of high school I was threatened with rape and murder, survived a murder attempt, narrowly escaped a rape situation by refusing a drink spiked with vodka that would’ve intoxicated me to a blackout, I endured public humiliation on an almost daily basis and attempted suicide once because none of the authority figures who were supposed to protect me did shit to stop the bullying...

...and orlandomakeup is equating my saying “don’t buy this art because it supports Autism Speaks” to THAT?

Wow, talk about trivializing bullying. Just wow.

At no point do I say “ewww, don’t by this artist’s art ever!” or “eew, this art is ugly!” or “the artist sucks!”

All I did was point out that buying that art will support Autism Speaks, a charity that harms autistic people. 

Orlandomakeup is defending Autism Speaks on the grounds that “it never hurt them (the autistic artist)”.

Again, I need to remind people that defending a person or organization as “good” because “it / they didn’t hurt me / this person!” is like saying someone who abuses their spouse is a good person because they distribute food at a homeless shelter. That person may help the poor, but they still go home and beat the shit out of their spouse and they are NOT a good person.

Likewise, Autism Speaks is not a good organization. Just because (general) you saw it do good doesn’t mean it is good. It still stigmatizes and demonizes autism and their claim of “acceptance” is “accept that your child has an autism diagnosis, but don’t accept their autism.” Autism Speaks changed “cure” to “solution”. All they did was change a word, not their rhetoric. Autism Speaks is harmful to autistic people the same way PETA is harmful to animals. They care about profit, not lives.

So, I still ask-- where is the bullying behavior this orlandomakeup person claims I’m engaging in? Nowhere. Orlandomakeup, reblogged stuff about bullying and made one long callout post that doesn’t directly name me even though it’s very obviously about me. Keep in mind they did this after they blocked me, and I only found out because someone who follows me saw their post. I figured it would look at it out of curiosity. I plan to let this whole thing go after this point, but I want to clear the facts up before they get all muddled and twisted their through distorted view. 

Here is a link to their callout post. http://chicglamgeek.com/post/163823401339/fifty-shades-of-bullies  (DO NOT SEND HATE!!!)

ETA: Forgot a link due to constant interruptions while writing this post. Here’s their “bully” tag where they again attack me without naming me.  http://chicglamgeek.com/search/bullying  I didn’t bother screencapping. If they delete stuff, it just proves they’re trying to hide that they’re projecting their behavior onto me.

I also have a screenshot of their big post. Linked due to size. http://imgur.com/a/Dr4zG

The text of the post is in the description area below the image so that those who are blind or have trouble processing screenshots can read the post, too. I’ll add the text under the cut of this post just in case imgur farts.

They claim I’m showing “disdain” of the art when that’s not even close to what I was doing, but orlandomakeup won’t see any other POV except their own. I fully endorse buying the autistic artist’s art (because it’s beautiful art!), just don’t buy the art that supports Autism Speaks. 

If someone knows how to contact the autistic artist to tell them about A$, please do.

There. Those are the facts of the situation. I’m now washing my hands of it. Orlandomakeup can continue calling me a bully if they want. I wanted my side of the issue out there in case they continue trying to convince people that I bullied them. 

I did not bully orlandomakeup or the autistic artist. I am not saying orlandomakeup is a bad person.

Unfortunately, orlandomakeup is misrepresenting everything I said and is projecting their own behavior onto me. They could have blocked me and carried on, but they chose to write that long and obvious post and may be talking trash about me in private. (I have no way to know, nor do I care. I know who I am and what I represent.) 

Again, I say this is not posted in anger. I posted my side to ensure the facts are straight. From here on out orlandomakeup can say whatever they want about me, but I know I’m telling the truth to the best of my ability.

Please do not harass them or send hate. That solves nothing. 

If you feel an urge to send them something mean, do yourself a favor and close the tab instead, okay?

Text below. Bolding is their references to me.  Btw, I’m amused that they think I’m a Millennial. I’m not a Millennial. I was born in 1980. I just turned 37 (as of July 29, 2017).

There are two basic types of bullies.

1. Those who have full understanding of their actions and seek power and control.

2. Those who lack the intellectual capacity to understand their behavior.

The latter is the most dangerous, because there is no reasoning with them. They disparage and harass with the belief that they are doing no wrong. All bullies are shallow, insecure, and need numbers. They have no strength of their own. They are weak.

Millennials are exceedingly becoming the bullies about which they speak. They bully as a platform for drama and attention. They lack the intelligence to acknowledge their faults and how to conduct themselves. They lack professionalism and decency. Millennials suffer from narcissism. They think their lives and stories are more compelling, because they want attention. However, there are bullies well into their late ages that also have these characteristics.

These bullies can be found at any age and are not confined to school. They are coworkers, neighbors, strangers, and, more dangerously, online. Bullies intend to harass even if the are not intelligent to know they are bullying. At any age, they have the ability to know they should not perpetuate negativity, but some still claim they do not understand how their actions are harmful. While this may seem contrary, consider that when you address their behavior with them, they insist they are “not bad” people, ask their friends to insist they are nice, even say they are Christian. Your addressing their behavior puts them on notice that they are harmful. At this point, they become aware that they are engaging in this behavior but are defensive to avoid admitting they are wrong. Introverts and intelligent people admit when they are wrong, because they are more concerned with data and facts than feelings. They have no incentive to lie. They do not rely upon external validation. Extroverts do. This is not to say that all extroverts lack intellectual capacity, only that they are more motivated to be bullies.

Here are some examples of bullying that were unprovoked and occurred in situations where the person being harassed did not know the bully and/or was not interacting with the bully:

1. I like how you match your lipstick to your sweater. On second thought, I don’t. It’s ugly. You’re a bitch.

2. You need to pray to be normal.

3. Jesus can make you not be Asian.

4. We don’t want, you know, the black people in our neighborhood.

5. You’re not celibate. Look at you. You look like a model.

6. Don’t buy this art.

7. You need to smile.

Why are these words harmful? One of the “rules” of Christianity is to do unto others as you would have done unto you. If you cannot say something nice, do not say it at all. These examples ignore cultural and biological differences. They are punitive.

1. Introverts do not need compliments. In fact, they sometimes find compliments offensive. This “compliment” was a way to seek attention. The person did not receive attention, so he had intent to harm to assuage his feelings of insecurity.

2, 3, & 7. While there is a normal distribution, statistically speaking, people are not normal. There are cultural and physiological differences, which may seem “odd,” but those differences do not warrant being forced beliefs of the insecure. If you do not smile, shake hands, laugh at jokes, or make eye contact, you are not abnormal. You handle / process emotion differently.

3 & 4. Racist and ethnocentrist.

5. There is no look of celibacy. If one prefers to preserve his/her temple, then others should not assume their inability to keep their legs shut afflicts everyone.

6. Demanding that others boycott art defames the artist, nothing else. That statement alone shows disdain for the artist and/or the art. If one feels financial contribution to the artist is repulsive, or one feels the contribution would benefit one to the detriment of others (i.e. Boycotting people who shop at Hobby Lobby* as opposed to boycotting Hobby Lobby itself), then one should make the distinction. There is a difference between harassment and social awareness. Using the Hobby Lobby example, a person who shops at Hobby Lobby may not be aware of the practices of the establishment. Demanding people avoid the individual is harmful, seeks to exclude, and seeks to harass the individual rather than the establishment. Demanding the person avoid Hobby Lobby is completely different. A mature minded, intelligent person knows the difference. A bully who lacks intellectual capacity does not make the distinction.

The best way to handle someone who disparages you and claims they did nothing wrong is to ignore him/her. S/he will have friends to join in the disparage fest, because s/he is insecure and has to belittle everyone and everything that is secure. S/he needs power and control to compensate for the lack of power and control s/he feels with his/her life. S/he is unreasonable, immature, unprofessional, and lacks mental capabilities to examine his/her actions. This type of person always has to be right and will never understand his/her shortcomings. Additionally, these people are not intelligent enough to understand that constant communications from them and/or others on their behalves are harassment. It is no different than painting the n- word or the word “slut” on someone’s locker or home. It is no different than walking by someone bound, throwing rocks at them.

The best last word is the one left unsaid. This does not make one weak. It makes one mature and intelligent enough to understand the other person is deficient. In other words, thou shall not give pearl to the swine. Do not waste your energy on people who are unwilling to accept and admit their faults, those who are incapable of higher thought processing.

* This in no way suggests anyone boycott Hobby Lobby. People have their own reasons for shopping or not shopping there.

[celestial-skyys]

Final update on the harassment situation.

Recap/Tl;dr at the end.

The girl that was harassing me is no longer on tumblr. Idk if it was my reports about her dangerous tendencies towards herself or others that did it or if it was the constant harassment towards me that did it but her blog is no longer on this site (seriously I filled over 7 reports on personal harm alone).

She and the guy that was harassing me tried making posts that said that I didn't want to talk to them privately. I didn't want to because I didn't trust that they would stay civil and not attempt to edit the conversations. They also shared posts that pretty much said that no matter what evidence I had it wasn't valid. No screencaps, recordings, etc can be used as evidence because I could have lied or edited them. But you got to understand they were the ones that took it to me publically in the first place after she sought out and found my blog. She only made the posts after she saw I made posts referring to her without mentioning her by user name. I just said "my ex's gf". This gives me the idea that she was stalking me for a bit or went through at least a page or 2 of my blog. So tbh wanting me to suddenly make it private even after I was making points like "you have no evidence", "you're the one that sought out my blog and started harassing me when I NEVER called you out by username" (and never planned on releasing her username), and my favorite "don't you dare use my abuse to say I was abusive", makes me think they would have edited our conversations as "evidence" or harass me worse in private.

All I did was have a friend block her for me and that was my extent of interaction with her before the incident. As of right now I have FB messages from people the guy contacted to harass and stalk me as evidence, I also have a spoken recorded statement from my friend that pretty much boils down to "the guy accused me of all sorts of abuse to ruin our friendship". I don't care if they say my evidence isn't valid, it is. I have witness statements that can speak on behalf of the guys behavior and trust me it isn't good. I also still have screencaps from the girls blog proving her unstable nature. The nicest way I can put it is he is a "nice guy" and she is a "yandere"

They both tried to stalk me through IP and practically attempt to dox me even though she used to be a STRONG advocate about anti-dox. I indirectly told them that I use proxies and IP changing programs because of people like them and advertisers. They maybe have about 2 or 3 people that support them publically while I have a confirmed 10+ who have also seen the posts and can agree that the attack was not valid. They no longer make posts about me. I don't know if it's out of legitimate fear or something else but if they are too scared to mess with me I'll take it. She hasn't mentioned the takedown on her Twitter, which I do glance at from time to time to make sure I'm not having the same issue over there, so I think I'm in the clear.

Now is the time I have to ask though. Was there really anyone harassing her because of what she was doing to me? I seriously have no idea of her claims of harassment were true. I had someone pm me saying that they have a group that could mess with her (not bullying but more like asking her to freaking stop and making the IP tracker pick up WAY more IPs) but I didn't tell them to do it because I knew she would blame me. I told them that if they wanted to they can but definately not on my behalf. Part of me believes that someone did something because want to think that she wasnt lying about the "harassing anons" and the literal thousands of IPs visiting her during her hiatus. She also was scared of constant t.co addresses visiting her but my friend who works with tech said that those were bots and tbh I still get a good laugh out of her thinking I lead the army of NSFW bots to ruin her life.

Anyway to recap: Fem!Harasser is cancelled. Harassers tried to make any evidence I could have not valid and were being hypocritical. I do in fact have witnesses to their behavior and evidence of harassment and unstableness of them. They got shut down from IP tracking me before that started. They have almost no support. No furthur comment from either harasser.

Then my questions:

Was someone actually "harassing" (real or her version) them after they harassed me or was it just a way to get me in furthur trouble?

Did someone set up an bot to spam go to her page?

And my final statement... I am not queen of the porn bots.