#this is actually my first transcript i've done for fun

[crmsndragonwngss]

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Jesse Cash and Ghost Atlas:

Album is already out now! Made this last night, so I'm posting late.

But I felt compelled to speak about this thing I put so much of myself into and love so much.

Please excuse the sound of the dishwasher

(via Instagram) (full transcript under the cut)

Jesse Cash:

Hey.  So, tonight is the night that, uh, my Ghost Atlas record finally comes out.  Um, I'm going to try to trim the fat on this, but I'm not going to make it too much of a priority to keep it short, to be honest.  So, if you stick around, you're a -- you're a real one.  Thanks.

Um, I just, uh -- it was a long time coming.  I mean, I know I've been talking about this record for, god, over two years now.  And, um, it just feels so good that it's finally out.  I, um -- I got to say, this one is my favorite.  This is -- this is the one.  This is the record that I feel most proud of.  Um, it's very -- it's very vulnerable, nowadays, to share music.  It's become something I've grown increasingly neurotic about.  It's -- it's part of what took this record so long to -- to come out, because I was just constantly changing, and adding, and finessing, and trying to get things dialed in right.  And it just never felt finished to me, and I never felt like I could be satisfied with it.  And that's become a bit of a curse, in recent years, that I get kind of fixated on, and -- um, it's just -- it's just, like, hard -- it's hard, these days, to share music.  It just feels like such a vulnerable act, and um, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't, uh, you know, a bit attuned to -- to criticism, especially when it mirrors my own insecurities that I may have about things that I make. 

What's so -- with that said, what's so wonderful about this record, and the magic that I've already found in this record, even before it's come out, is that I don't think anything could -- could hurt me, as far as critical perspective, or uh, you know, like -- I don't think I can be hurt over this one.  I just -- I love it that much.  And I love the way it sounds.  I love -- I love the mix that Joseph McQueen did with it.  And I just -- I'm just so proud of it.  Yeah.  I don't know. 

These songs are so, like -- at times, uncomfortably personal.  I think that's why I love this project so much, because it's -- it's like, I love being able to do Erra, I love being in a collaborative space with -- with my community [laughs].  Like, the band is my community.  Like, we're friends and I could never give up that space, as far as -- but as far as the musical creative space, like, with Ghost Atlas, it's just so -- it's, like, everything to me.  It's just so me.  Um, and sometimes that is weirdly painful, because I think I have a tendency to entangle myself in this stuff that I make.  And as Conor put it to me [laughs], maybe fly too close to the sun when it comes to sort of engaging in the darker musings of the human experience, so -- so to speak [laughs].  It sounds very pretentious, but I don't -- I apologize.  Um, I'm just -- yeah.  I really hope you guys like it. 

I actually wrote -- before -- before the record that you -- that you have here, uh, I wrote a first record, got about eight songs into it, and I showed, uh, Josh Gilbert and Joseph McQueen, who I did the record with.  And we were doing pre-pro demos, and I was like -- I was like, "Guys, I have a feeling this is not my best stuff.  I -- I have a feeling that -- [laughs] that I didn't do my best.  Like, these aren't the best songs.  What do you think?"  And they essentially were supportive, and were like, "Oh no, they're great.  You know, like, I don't know if there's, like, a single or if anything's really sticking out the way that the last one did.  But, like, yeah, I don't know."  And like, just that sort of response kind of told me everything I needed to know, and I just threw that record away [laughs], and we made a new record. 

So I, uh -- I followed my gut.  That's part of what took this thing so long to come together, is, uh, I followed my gut, and put those songs aside, started from scratch, wrote all new songs.  Some of the songs that were salvaged from that first throwaway record were, um -- uh, I know a very early stage of Lesser Gods without any layering, Bedsheet Torniquet, and In the House of Leaves.  Those were the ones that were from the previous record.  But everything else I just overhauled.  It was very important to me to get this thing right and, by god, I think I did it.  I, um -- I'm so proud of this thing.  Fuck. 

Anyways, I hope you guys like it.  Um, I really do.  It's, like, so -- it's important -- it's important to me, you know.  But -- but, like I -- like I said, you can't hurt me with this one [laughs].  But -- but, uh, I really do hope you guys enjoy it.  And, uh, thanks for sitting through my long, vulnerable video.  I'm a very -- I'm a [laughs] very happy boy right now.

[end of transcript]

[ikroah]

I pushed my soul in a deep dark hole, and then I followed it in, I watched myself crawling out as I was a-crawling in. I got up so tight, I couldn't unwind, I saw so much, I broke my mind… —“Just Dropped In (to See What Condition My Condition Was In),” The First Edition (1968)

It Keeps Right On A-Hurtin’ #28 - Ring-a-Ding-Ding VII

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Read IKROAH on Archive of Our Own

Notes / Original Pencils / Transcript:

Notes

Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to type those words? "End of Volume 2?" We have been on Volume 2 for just over three years. Obviously it's unfair to compare it to the breakneck pace of Volume 1, because... I got burned out (I got better), I got divorced (I got better), and most importantly, I've spent all three of these years overhauling my approach to art, which is to say, I got better. My canvas size doubled because my initial naive approach of "smaller pages means less art, which means faster art" was holding me back: I wanted more art, and the subjects of too many panels had gotten flubbed due to what was basically a pathetically low rendering distance. I revamped my approach to coloring entirely, leaning into a vibrant, saturated, and faux-comic halftone style that I vastly prefer to my more grounded, gradient-driven work beforehand. I changed IKROAH's font (Unmasked!), I changed Agnes's appearance slightly (she's far less gaunt, which was an early design choice I've thrown away, plus I think I'm much better at drawing her consistently now), and so much more. Comics are a time-consuming artform and while a lot of what made this volume take so long was out of my control, and well worth not pushing myself through, the total reinvention of how I actually make comics was the single best thing to come out of Volume 2.

It's a lot of lessons and groundwork that I'm very eager to take into Volume 3, which I have spent every single one of these years viciously impatient for. Now, it's finally here. See you at the cover reveal.

Original Pencils

Something that I have been working a lot harder on with my art lately is inking: actual inking, not merely "outlining" and figuring out the rest by the seat of my pants digitally. I've come to realize that the fewer steps of my production process that I try to do digitally, the more fun it is to make art as a whole, and inking was something that I was very intimidated by for the longest time. What happens if I mess up! It's permanent marker, after all! But after all the practice that I've done, I'm really happy with how bold and confident the shadows are on this issue, and they're perfect for how moody and dramatically lit the whole thing is. You can compare the pencils to the inks to the final products and really see how I planned out the overall composition.

Transcript

INT. LUCKY 38 PRESIDENTIAL SUITE, VERY LATE AT NIGHT. The lights are all off in this luxurious, distinctly pre-war abode. It is almost empty.

RADIO: Welcome back to the program, folks. This is Mr. New Vegas—and I hope I'm not coming on too strong. We've got some news for you, coming right up.

The only real light in the suite comes from the glowing screen of the Securitron VICTOR, standing in front of the private elevator.

RADIO: Tops Hotel owner Benny has been killed by an unidentified assailant. According to his fellow Chairmen, shots were heard in his private suite, and his body was found inside. They are urging all visitors to please keep an eye out for suspicious individuals and behavior on the New Vegas Strip. The new head of the Chairmen, Benny's former right-hand man Swank, consoled mourners: "If I know my pal Benny, he's swinging with the Big Cat Upstairs as we speak. Or he's chasing some angel broad with cans as big as her halo!"

RADIO: In other news—

In a guest bedroom off to the side, ROSE OF SHARON CASSIDY is sound asleep. Her belongings are neatly folded on the dresser, except for the cocktail dress that she was wearing, which has been thrown onto the ground.

RADIO: —refugees at Bitter Springs are giving startling accounts of the legate known as Lanius, who is said to be Caesar's top field commander. One refugee told us the legate took over an underperforming squad of troops by beating its commander to death in full viw of everyone. The legate then ordered a tenth of his own force be killed by the other nine tenths. And you thought your boss was a pain!

RADIO: You know, I think all news, whether it's good or bad, brings us closer together. Don't you?

Directly across from the elevator, across from VICTOR, are the shut doors to the master bedroom.

RADIO: These headlines, brought to you by Vault 21...Vault 21! Everything is better when you experience it...in a vault.

Inside the master bedroom, AGNES SANDS sits on the edge of the bed, wide awake. The RADIO plays from her PIP-BOY, which provides a slight amount of light in the dark room.

RADIO: Gonna play a song for you right now—it's about that special someone, that you can only find once...in a "Blue Moon."

"Blue Moon" begins to play from the radio. AGNES's head remains lowered in rumination.

Suddenly, the radio broadcast cuts out.

SFX: KZZRRRSSHHTTZ

RADIO: Has your life taken a turn?

A NEW VOICE speaks on the radio. It's dreamy, seductive.

RADIO: Do troubles beset you? Has fortune left you behind?

AGNES remains in thought.

But then: she lifts her head.

And she looks over at the radio.

RADIO: If so, then the Sierra Madre Casino,

The PIP-BOY displays: 11.09.81, 4:13. <<Signal Unknown>>

RADIO: in all its glory, invites you

AGNES listens.

RADIO: to begin again.

AGNES is now somewhere else.

EXT. MOJAVE DESERT. At sunrise, AGNES SANDS is perched atop a ridge somewhere in the desert. Her overcoat billows behind her, and her shoulder-mounted flashlight beams straight ahead. She looks manic. In one hand, she clutches her duffel bag, full of every belonging she has. Her other hand is wearing her PIP-BOY, and the radio broadcast continues:

RADIO: Come to a place where wealth, excitement, and intrigue await around every corner. Stroll along the winding streets of our beautiful resort. Make new friends...or rekindle old flames. Let your eyes take in the luxurious expanse of the open desert, under clear starlit skies. Gaze straight on into the sunset from our scenic Villa rooftops. Countless diversions await. Gamble in our casino, take in the theater, or stay in one of our exclusive executive suites that will shelter you...and cater to your every whim.

Below the ridge is a pile-up of wrecked shipping containers. One of them opens up toward the surface like a gaping throat of metal. It leads somewhere, deeper into the earth.

RADIO: So if life's worries have weighed you down—if you need an escape from your troubles—or if you just need an opportunity to begin again—

The source of the broadcast signal is coming from INSIDE.

RADIO: —then join us.

AGNES descends into the container, revealing a makeshift staircase of sheet metal that leads into darkness.

RADIO: Join us, let go, and leave the world behind...

The signal from inside the tunnel is now audible. It overlaps with AGNES's PIP-BOY...

RADIO: Join us, let go, and leave the world behind...

Until she sees it.

RADIO: ...at the Sierra Madre Grand Opening.

A pre-war, art deco type radio, sitting on a metal pedestal. It speaks to her.

RADIO: ...at the Sierra Madre Grand Opening.

AGNES stares at the radio, bewildered.

She barely notices the HULKING FIGURE about to grab her from behind.

RADIO: We'll be waiting.

END OF VOLUME 2

[radicalreliablerandomness]

Podcast Rec Masterpost

I've been asked a couple times for podcast recommendations so I thought I'd post a compilation of some shows and a bit of info about them. Most shows I talk about are tagged below (I ran out of tags) so you can look through fan content as well if you're not one to care about spoilers. My asks are still open for personalized recs if you send me some others that you've listened to just because I love you, yes that's right! You. The person reading this right now!

Here goes!

Dungeons And Daddies *not a BDSM podcast

This show is a dnd actual play podcast. The first season is about four dads from our world lost in the Forgotten Realms in search of their lost sons. It’s a comedy but as with all comedies, you will cry by the end of it. It's super easy to get into with great chemistry between all the cast players and the dm, no prior knowledge of dnd is necessary. They do invoke slight horror sometimes so do keep an eye out for content warnings. Season 1 has 68.5 episodes along with bonus content and a mini campaign in between seasons 1 and 2. Season 2 is currently ongoing. Transcripts available.

The Bright Sessions

This is a science fiction podcast. The premise is a collection of clinical recordings of superpowered people's therapy sessions. The plot gets more interesting and convoluted as you get further in. Incredible voice acting filled with emotion. Does have some heavier discussions so be on the lookout for content warnings. It has 7 seasons (the last two are technically not part of the first five seasons' plot) and is completed. Transcripts available.

Hello From the Hallowoods

A post-apocalyptic fiction podcast. A beautifully written and preformed podcast that explores identity, religion, and other themes in vignettes throughout this haunted world narrated by an omniscient being. Some heavier topics are included so check the content warning before each episode. Seasons 1 and 2 are completed and season 3 will be done soon. Transcripts available.

The Magnus Archives

A horror fiction podcast. A well written chronological story told through anthology which seem to be tape recordings from a paranormal investigation institute. Incredible writing and actors that really bring it to life. This is horror so make sure to check the content warnings. The show is completed at 5 seasons. Transcripts available.

Neighbourly

Another horror fiction podcast! An interesting look into all the houses on Little Street and their peculiarities. Some more peculiar than others. The podcast is absolutely delightful with a horribly fun narrator. I would suggest checking the content warnings as some episodes are more intense than others. The show has 2 completed seasons. Transcripts available.

The Fall of the House of Sunshine

A musical mystery fiction podcast. The first season is about an investigation on the murder of a beloved host of a children's tooth-themed show. That's all I can say without spoilers. There are 3 incredible seasons along with short stories in between each season. Transcripts available until halfway through season 2.

Welcome to Nightvale

Possibly the most well known science fiction podcast, it really speaks for itself but I'll do my spiel anyways. Recorded as snippets of a daily radio broadcast, the show details the weird goings on in this strange desert town of Nightvale. Narrated almost completely by the radio host's smooth voice. It's ongoing and is currently sitting at 233 episodes. Transcripts available.

The Two Princes

A fictional queer romance podcast. It takes place in that special part of fiction that always starts with "once upon a time," it feels like a story book almost. The show is based around two boys meeting in the woods. Spoiler alert: they fall in love. It's just a cute feel good show. The podcast is complete at 3 seasons. Spotify auto-generated transcripts available.

What's the Frequency?

A self described psychedelic noir podcast. It's an absolute blast even if it is a bit hard to follow. Takes place in the 1940s in LA when all radio broadcasts were turned to static. You kind of just have to go with it until you get to the end. Completed at 12 episodes. Transcripts available.

Story Break

A writer's room podcast. The basic concept behind Story Break is 3 Hollywood writers in a room together take a prompt and try to make a story for it in an hour. There are many laughs in this podcast and just all around good humor and vibes. The show is complete at 169 episodes plus two full movie scripts. No transcript.

Who Killed Avril Lavigne

A science fiction podcast. It's about a time traveling pop punk loser and that's all you need to know. It's a podmusical so you'll be getting great nostalgic pop punk type songs along with crying from laughing so hard. Completed at 8 episodes. No transcript.

The Behemoth

A fiction podcast. Based around an unexplainable creature emerging from the ocean and how the world, and one girl in particular, deal with this phenomenon. It is pretty short with the longest episode being about 12 minutes. Completed at 20 episodes. No transcript.

Rude Tales of Magic

A dnd actual play podcast. It is mainly focused on the actual roleplay and story telling as opposed to the actual play. A handful of college students from Polaris University fuck the world up by completing a hazing ritual which in this case is a supposedly demon summoning. Obviously now they need to fix the world. Currently 64 episodes and ongoing. No transcript.

Midnight Burger

A very well written fiction podcast. It’s about a time/space traveling diner where the employees try to help solve a problem every place they land. Think Doctor Who adjacent vibes but with more drama. There is an overarching plot that comes together so look out for that. It has incredible characters that are really nicely fleshed out. You’ll somehow like and hate all of them as much as possible in the best way. Currently has 29 episodes of the main feed and a 9 episode mini-series. Transcript available.

Monstrous Agonies

A fiction podcast. It’s an radio advice segment on a station for “liminal Britain” aka the monstrous world to put it plainly. It’s really chill and comforting. There’s very good advice there and the intermittent ad reads will have you giggling to yourself. Episodes are on the shorter side, averaging about 15 minutes each. It does have some heavier discussions so make sure to check the content warnings. The show is completed at 111 episodes through 3 seasons. Transcripts available.

Desert Skies

A fiction podcast. The voice acting in this one is incredible, it’s the same person the whole time. The show as a whole is also just super well done. The premise is that when you die you show up on a highway and get to this astral pit stop. I’m not going to spoil it anymore you just have to experience it. There is an additional show, Desert Skies FM that's a buddy to this one. I recommend listening to both. Season 1 was completed at 12 episodes. Transcripts available.

Wooden Overcoats

A sitcom dramedy podcast. The show is about two siblings that run a funeral home on an island. It used to be the only one, it isn’t anymore. It has a wacky cast of characters and even wackier plot points. The dialogue can be a little hard to get used to at the beginning but once you get into it it flows easily. The show is completed at 4 seasons. Transcripts available.

Greater Boston

An audio drama podcast. It's set in Boston if you couldn't tell from the title and starts with the death of a man on a rollercoaster. It blends real life with some subtle (and at times not-so-subtle) fantasy elements. It's currently at 4 completed seasons. Transcript available.

Gay Future

A science fiction podcast. In a world where everyone is gay in the future we focus on this one straight kid. Following his journey to destroy the government who are making everyone gay. This is a satire by the way. 1 season completed at 6 episodes. No transcripts.

Death by Dying

A dark comedy podcast. The show follows an obituary writer while he does things that are totally under the jurisdiction of his job. A well written and preformed show. There are a lot of laughs and obviously some heartbreaks as well. Currently 1 completed season with season 2 sitting at 2 episodes for a bit now. Transcript available.

Not Another D&D Podcast

An actual play dnd podcast. This one's more mainstream than my other podcasts so I don't talk about it as much but that doesn't mean it's not incredible. The first campaign is about 3 adventurers off to save the world. Obviously. It can be a bit slow in the beginning but anything past the second half of the first season is incredible. There's humor, drama, love, and much more. The DM is also just incredible. 1 completed season, a couple mini campaigns, and the second season is currently at 43 episodes. No transcripts.

Forgive Me!

A fiction podcast. It starts based around vignettes of confessionals in this small town taken by a new father in the local church. An overarching plot is present but it's generally a feel good, sweet and simple show. They have 2 complete seasons with season 3 currently at 9 episodes. Transcripts available.

Real Housewives of D&D

An actual play dnd podcast. This show is based around the concept of a "Real Housewives..." type show but you don't need to know anything about those to listen to this. It's about 4 reality TV stars thrown into a magical fantasy world with no knowledge of how to get home. There's drama, excitement, danger, and lots more. The first season was just completed at 16 episodes. Transcripts available.

The Silt Verses

A horror fiction podcast. Two people who worship a banned god travel together up a river in a pilgrimage. There is incredible worldbuilding in this show along with acting and sound design. This is horror and a very good one at that so make sure you check content warnings. Season 1 and 2 are completed and season 3 is at 2 episodes so far. Transcripts available.

The Land Whale Murders

A comedy fiction podcast. It takes place in the year 1899 and is about a pair of friends? maybe not, that metaphorically explore the world they're living in. It is a commentary on the world we live in and the problems in it through a hilarious and wacky cast. There are currently 17 episodes between both seasons 1 and 2. Transcripts available.

Elaine's Cooking for the Soul

A post-apocalyptic cooking podcast. The show is about a dentist who makes her way through the fallout of an apocalypse while also making a cooking podcast. It does have depictions of violence, war, and dentistry so check out the content warnings. There are 2 completed seasons. No transcripts.

Fawx and Stallion

A mystery podcast. If you hate Sherlock Holmes you'll love this podcast. Also if you love Sherlock Holmes you'll love this podcast. It's based around the detectives who live across the street from Holmes at 224B Baker street. It's pretty goofy. Season 1 is completed. Transcripts available.

The Amelia Project

A fiction podcast. Follow the shenanigans of this death-faking organization as they take in new clients and hear their stories. It does develop an actual overarching plot later on but every second is fun. Seasons 1-4 have been completed and season 5 is in progress. Transcripts available.

A Voice From Darkness

A horror podcast. It's centered around a radio show hosted by Dr. Malcolm Ryder, Parapsychologist. He helps people who call into his show with supernatural problems, gives PSAs and warnings about strange happenings, and more. Season 1 is completed and season 2 is at 9 episodes. Transcripts available.

Station Arcadia

A dystopian fiction podcast. Formatted through a radio show, it tells the story of a world that's slowly dying. There are vignettes of different characters through different areas of the world. Season 1 is completed at 25 episodes. Transcripts available.

Margaret's Garden

A science fiction podcast. It has two plots running at the same time which keeps you on your toes but makes for an intriguing story line. In one plot line, two agents are sent to investigate the strange happenings of a weird little long abandoned town. Simultaneously, we hear from the past of that town as it catches up to the agents. Completed at 10 episodes. Transcripts available.

Camp Here & There

A horror comedy podcast. It's recorded as a set of daily announcements over a loudspeaker at a totally normal summer camp. The announcements are made by the camp nurse and he's also totally normal. I promise. Make sure to check in with the content warnings as some topics are a little mature or graphic. There are currently 34 episodes. Transcripts available.

Wayward Guide for the Untrained Eye

A companion horror podcast. This is actually a bit meta because it is the result of a youtube series. This show is the one the podcast hosts in the series release, it's definitely worth both the watch and the listen though. It's got werewolves and drama. Completed at 10 episodes of video and 10 of the podcast. No transcripts.

I am in Eskew

A horror podcast. It's about a man who's trapped in a city where the buildings always change and the rain never stops. There's a weird monotonous creeping horror in this show that just draws you in. Check for content warnings definitely. Completed at 30 episodes. Transcripts available.

Traveling Light

A comfy cozy fiction podcast. It follows The Traveller on their exploration through space, visiting alien planets and collecting stories to send back to their community. For supporters of the show, it almost functions as a choose-your-own-adventure with choices to vote on and listener submissions. It's made by the same people as Monstrous Agonies so if you enjoyed that, you'd enjoy this and vice versa. There are currently 16 episodes. Transcripts available.

Not yet described but still recommended:

Eeler’s Choice

The Secret of St Kilda

The Endless Ocean

The Department of Variance of Somewhere, Ohio

The Sword & The Stoner

World Gone Wrong: a fictional chat show about friendship at the end of the world

Travelling Light

Waterlogged

Brimstone Valley Mall

[queerholmcs]

guess who made it a full nine and a half months before going back for round two! (me. it's me.)

Massive thanks and all my love to Elena @ohwatson, Time @heartduct, Rachel @betweendoctorsanddetectives, and Elena's friend from uni for making this weekend (1) happen and (2) an absolute experience to remember 🩷💀🦠👨‍💻

Detailed write-ups for the escape rooms already exist (see my dear friend Rebs's notes on the original experience, and Amy's transcript, and my detailed write-up on the Mind of Moriarty room from last year) but I do still have Thoughts To Share, and it is in danger of getting wordy, as always, so I'll see you below the cut! 🫶🫶🫶

I started my day off strong by waking up far too early & going for far too long of walk to see some classics like Big Ben, and the Langham (as one does), and then met up with Elena and Time for the Sherlock Holmes museum, since I needed to see what they'd done with it since getting rid of most of the weird little wax guys. (I can't remember what that room upstairs was officially supposed to be, but it was giving Mycroft's office. Maybe it was supposed to be Watson's office?)

And then we swung by North Gower St for the obligatory Speedy's moment, of course! 🫶

Meeting up with the rest of the group for lunch at the Westfield did turn out to be possibly the most difficult part of the weekend. Most convoluted shopping centre I've ever been in, I swear. The pizza was worth it, at least—even if it was all quickly overshadowed by the real reason we had all gathered there that day: a good old-fashioned eye exam.

I'm going to refrain from rehashing all of the insane details here that have already been noted elsewhere, but I also cannot overstate how insane the experience is. And there are people who just do this casually. Like, the original escape room experience is just included with the London Pass now? That's bonkers. And it is impossible to mention the escape rooms without also mentioning how incredibly dead Jim Moriarty definitely absolutely undoubtedly is. Mr "I Wish I Could Die Twice", indeed. 🔫🤭 And we got my beloved Yorick in-frame for our photos this time, so we were already starting off on a very high note, indeed! (Even if Stamford was a bit confused by our reactions when he prompted us to pose as though Moriarty himself had just stepped into 221B.)

There are some fun details I had forgotten, or otherwise failed to notice, the first time I did these rooms. Like Molly signing off a note to John, saying, "Nice beard, by the way!" To a man whose wife is mentioned exactly zero times during the course of the entire experience, no less. Sure. Why not.

Mycroft's office is phase two of the original escape experience, and it should come as no surprise to anyone here that that is my favourite room. And this time, it was elevated beyond what it could have been, because I learnt Mycroft's birthday on what was undoubtedly the most humbling phone call of my life, and it all went something like this:

me [picking up the phone to call Sam to ask for the code for the cryptex; the reader should note that I'm getting better about making phone calls in real life, and this is a call I've done before, so I'm feeling fairly confident in my ability to navigate this interaction, but it does still take me two tries to successfully dial the number and remember to press pound to actually make the call]: Hi, Sam, can we get the access code?

Sam: Okay, let me see here... it looks like you have given us the data we need, but just as a security measure, I'll have to ask you for Mycroft's date of birth.

me [did NOT have to give this information last time, and certain that such information is never once mentioned in the canon of the show]: ..........mmhm, sure, we'll call you right back.

A brief moment of discussing the evidence ensued, during which we determined, based on a ticket for Les Mis from 28 February 2019, and the voice message in which he complained about seeing Les Mis with his parents for his 50th birthday, that his date of birth is 28 February 1969. Meaning (1) he's a fucking pisces, and (2) the Les Mis showing in TEH was nowhere near 28 February 2019, so either that's something you're supposed to literally not take that seriously, or, as I am going to choose to believe because it's much more fun this way, his parents think he actually likes Les Mis and therefore regularly take him to see it and it's far too late for him to convince them otherwise now. (You know how parents are.)

me [calling Sam back, definitely feeling good about my ability to handle this phone call because I now definitely have all the information I need]: Hey, Sam, so we've got that security code of Mycroft's birthday for you. It's the 28th of February 1969.

Sam: Sure, that's correct! And what is it you're looking for?

me: We are looking for the access code for the cryptex.

Sam: Okay, sure. But you are still missing a word.

me [frowning at Mycroft's desk, trying to think what on earth she could be referring to, and then realising what it might be, and knowing that if I'm wrong, I'm about to look so unbelievably stupid for missing some obvious additional code word that was somewhere in the room, but that if I'm right, that'll somehow be worse, because I am an adult in the eyes of the law and I can do things like file my taxes or take impromptu trips to London to give people money in exchange for being locked in a room and insulted for an hour and a half without so much as asking for a parent's pemission, and yet I am now finding myself sat at Mycroft's desk, both feeling and sounding very much like a small child]: ..........could I please have an access code?

Sam: Oh, of course you can! The first digit is 1...

Needless to say, I have never been more efficiently nor more effectively humbled in my life, and I doubt I ever will be. And, naturally, it was only after the fact that I found out that—because everyone else could only hear my side of the conversation—they all thought we might have gotten his birthday wrong, or something, and I was just asking if we could please have the access code anyway. So thank you, Sam, for giving me some memories to carry with me to my very grave. I think I deserve photos of myself at that desk for my troubles. And also I would love to know what I looked like while sat behind Mycroft's desk and being told to say 'please.'

And also I now have to spend the rest of my life knowing a date that they chose—and probably arbitrarily, like you're probably not even supposed to think that much about it, it's not even that deep, unless it is—to be Mycroft Holmes's birthday. As though I needed any more details about that man to gnaw on. Knife emoji.

There weren't any more major surprises in that original experience, and we debriefed at the Mind Palace with drinks before it was time for our second appointment. (They had a new drink on the menu for me this time called "Mycroft's Modus Operandi," so, you know. That was fun! And there was no 'December 1963' jumpscare this time, but they clearly know their clientele, because the playlist was very "chill queer pop" vibes.)

My major takeaway from the Mind of Moriarty experience this time was, once again, my beloved prison cell. There was a phrase on the wall that had been a complete blank spot in my memory from the first time, and that was "Oh, but Sherlock's excellent, really very excellent!" (which is insane, for the record). But at least that one is relevant to a puzzle you have to solve, because I was also able to verify that the two phrases which actually haunt me—"too many thatchers" and "three signs isn't enough"—have absolutely nothing to do with any puzzles in the room. They are there just to haunt me. Which is more insane.

But, hey, I got to text Mycroft on a phone that was hidden in John's Semtex jacket inside Moriarty's mind! And apparently I missed reading last time a card where Jim refers to Mycroft as "Her Majesty." So. You know. Feeling some sort of super normal way about that!

I do really love that they use s4 footage of John and Sherlock and Mycroft and Jim in the third phase rooftop portion of the Mind of Moriarty experience. ("Family or friend, Mycroft or John Watson?" scene my beloved!!!) Especially because there is absolutely zero mention of that wife of his at any point throughout this entire thing. You would think he would fall back on "I do have a baby and/or wife at home" at some point during all his "I am literally being held here at gunpoint against my will" complaining, and yet...

Also there's still the whole "is it about having the keycode to open every door, or is it just about knowing people's pressure points and finding alternate ways to get what you need" thing running through the entire Mind of Moriarty experience. And the opening test for the original escape experience includes "TFP" in the centre of the screen and the opening test for the Mind of Moriarty experience involves choosing the fifth option to complete an existing series of four, with the patterns changing slightly (being mirrored, one might say?) between each. And there's the whole literal actual virus in the original experience becoming an AI computer virus in the Mind of Moriarty experience—it's a delicious progression, and that's all I'll say on that before I spend another three pages rambling about Jimmy boy.

At any rate, we did successfully complete both rooms, and we wrapped up the evening with dinner at Battersea itself! (Still bonkers that that's a bougie commercial complex now, and not just, like, the run-down power station where John and Mycroft I mean John and Irene had THE conversation of all time. Like, hello?)

All in all, an absolute success of a day. All my love again to everyone who made it possible, and I truly madly deeply look forward to doing it again whenever they re-remember that they have carte blanche to do whatever they want and drop a third escape room experience feature Cabin No. 9 of Blood Vessel fame. 🫶♟️🪞🤭

[onesidedradiostatic]

A trembling thought hit me like a freight train, what if the reason the crew went back on saying Al in aro is because he and Vox actually did date?

And then Vox wanted more and they broke up?

Like, I just have a nagging fear that that might come up in season 2 and I really don't know how to feel about it

Like on one hand it should make it easy to clarify that, yes, Alastor really is aro for he gave it a try and found it really wasn't for him

But on the other, what if the crew (or whoever is in charge) is all, "Well he dated once so he can't be aro, therefore he is only ace"

I've seen these kind of conspiracy theories before where people think there's some planned surprise romance plot for alastor and that's why they don't want to confirm him as aro and well.

I disagree.

for in-text, meta, and my own reasons. lemme go through it one by one.

in-text reasons

if we ignore ANY sort of word of god, statements from staff and whatnot, the only thing we have is the rosie dialogue. I've talked about it before, although she only says "ace in the hole", the context in which this is said is the idea of alastor dating charlie, this is a romantic context, and rosie says she's joking because she knows he wouldn't do it because he's an (aro)ace in the hole. the joke here is that alastor brought a girl with him and she's jokingly assuming they're dating (unless we're really thinking she jumped to joking about them fucking). so she KNOWS he wouldn't date and that's the thing, the only way I could see vox and alastor having previously dated and still have rosie say this is if them dating and alastor realising he's uninterested is specifically what got rosie to realise alastor wouldn't do that. otherwise no, it wouldn't make sense to me that alastor would've dated when rosie said this.

meta reasons

old faustisse streams. I'm not a pre-series fan but I've done my research. sure, there's info they've said before that's been deconfirmed but that's because some info from them are stuff they only say they "think" and not stuff that they 100% confirmed with vivzie, just opinions based on what they know about the characters. alastor's aroaceness is different though, faustisse was VERY forward that alastor is AROace and they SPECIFIED vivzie did not want to canonise it because of shipping wars and all that, so I'm fairly sure it's not because of some surprise alastor romance plot. faustisse may not be a 100% reliable source since this is from years ago now but I will say alastor being aroace is about as canon as husk being pansexual. both of this info is from faustisse. arguably alastor being aroace is even more canon than husk being pan because of the rosie dialogue. you can read the transcript of one of the old streams here. don't take this as a necessary reflection of my take on alastor shipping, no, I don't like reciprocated romantic alastor ships. at all. but I also definitely don't think harassment is okay. shippers will exist, and nothing you say will stop them so it's best not to waste your energy shouting at them.

my opinion

first let me say, I DEFINITELY don't like vivzie's choice to not confirm it. I understand yes people can be very aggressive in shipping wars, I understand harassment happens. but. IT IS HAPPENING REGARDLESS. ALL OF THIS IS HAPPENING REGARDLESS. it's just made WORSE by no solid statement on him being aromantic because then there's people who will argue it's not canon. confirming alastor as aromantic will not stop the shippers from shipping or having fun, this is like saying confirming angel dust as gay prevents angel dust x women shippers from having fun. they will exist regardless. confirming alastor as aromantic WILL NOT CHANGE THIS, all it will do is ASSURE aromantic people that they are being represented. all it will do is stop people from saying "alastor is ace not aro!" and acting like alastor being aro is an obstacle to their shipping.

that aside, I'll talk about my opinion on the idea of alastor having dated vox in canon. now, okay, I don't mind the idea if it's done in a very clearly aromantic way and it was just something alastor tried out but didn't like. I would even like it if it was done properly! but I also don't trust vivzie to write an aromantic character in a romantic relationship, so I'd rather it not happen in canon. and I do think vivzie is more likely to not take the risk of trying to write an aro character in a relationship anyways (and if she did I would definitely hope she does lots of research).

also it doesn't really make sense to me why he would try dating with vox instead of like. a woman. like rosie or mimzy. and I don't mean this cause of heteronormative reasons I mean this because alastor is clearly more comfortable with women, it just makes more sense to me that if he were to try out dating it would be with a woman. like... why vox? the only reason I could see it happening is vox is the only friend who tried to confess to alastor and so he decided to try it out cause he was a friend but then didn't like it. that isn't to say I wouldn't enjoy reading about this in fanfics or anything cause I probably would LMAO it's an interesting concept, but doesn't really make much sense to me and I'm not sure if I trust the allo writers to do it in canon.

that's all I have to say.

*mic drop*

[river-fisher]

The Real Bobby Fulbright and Morality

Hey hey! I am back with yet another analysis post, this time focusing on Fulbright's morality! I often see fanon interpretations of him - that are super fun! - but I also feel like they focus on the positive aspects of his personality and avoid the darker ones, so I will be rambling about that under the cut! Enjoy B)

Before we get into specific examples, it is worth pointing out that this analysis is based off of:

The theory that Dual Destinies didn't originally have the phantom as the main villain.

That the phantom was included later in the story after several chapters were already finished.

The theory that Dual Destinies was going to deal with darker themes before it got altered.

Now, although I have more detailed arguments on why I believe in these points, this post is not about that (Though if anyone wants to hear my thoughts about it, I'd love to yap about that in another post ^^). In a nutshell, Fulbright's behaviour changes in between cases, in a way that suggests that his character was revamped. I believe that Fulbright was originally written without the phantom in mind.

Thus! While his character might've had his purpose shifted, if my belief is correct, then The Monstrous Turnabout - the first case with Fulbright - is the most accurate glimpse into what the real Bobby Fulbright was like. Yes, we are meta analysing it up in this house!

Via the assumption that The Monstrous Turnabout has the original idea for the real Fulbright, we can make some interpretations of what he's like, despite the canon saying it was the phantom impersonating him! ^^

So, onto actual examples (lovingly chosen from my transcript) and analysis!

Starting off strong, we first meet Fulbright with him wanting to arrest Apollo and Athena. Yes, there is the potential reasoning of "disturbing a crime scene", but the lawyers had only just gotten there. They had done nothing wrong. That is unlawful arrest! Them coming to the crime scene had several explanations, and yet Fulbright won't even hear them out:

[???] “Hey, who are you and what are you doing here? This is a crime scene!”

[AJ] “And who are YOU? Are you with the police?”

[???] “I asked first! Who are YOU and what are you doing here?! On second thought... I’m placing you under arrest for disturbing a crime scene!”

He prioritizes lunch over actual, genuine justice here, not even bothering to hear them out. He only changes his tune after finding out that they're lawyers. Even then, he doesn't allow them to investigate. Though that is what all Ace Attorney detectives do, I think the subtle threat that comes afterwards is important.

[AJ] “Ack! Under arrest?! B-B-But...”

[???] “Save it for the boys back at HQ! Now, come quietly or else! I don’t want to be late for lunch!”

Yes, he never pulls out a gun in the series (besides attempting to do so in Turnabout for Tomorrow as the phantom), but I believe that the inherent threat and power that Fulbright holds in this situation is worth mentioning. Apollo's assumption that Fulbright could pull out a gun is also quite telling in my opinion. Fulbright is a cop at the end of the day.

[BF] “Cease and desist at once, or you’ll have to deal with my little friend here!” { Hand goes to his holster }

[AJ] “Ack!” (Yikes! Is he reaching for his...?!)

[BF] “In justice we trust!” { Shows badge }

[AJ] “...!” (Phew, it’s just his badge.)

[BF] “This door simply will not open! We’ve tried and tried, but it won’t budge! It’s an essential part of the culture found in this manor, so we can’t blow it up either!”

The next concerning aspect I've found, is the seemingly normalized use of excessive force. The only reason they're not blowing up the door is because of its cultural significance. That is insane! It can be argued that it's not Fulbright's decision, however, the lack of reaction from everyone involved signifies to me that this is the norm.

With this moment, I wish to point out Fulbright's black & white thinking. I acknowledge that this is consistent for all detectives in the series, but it is a piece of characterization that is very important - Fulbright is very quick to call Tenma a villain, evil, a fiend. Thinking that someone is guilty and thinking that someone is evil are quite different imo.

[AJ] “So you still think Mayor Tenma is responsible?”

[BF] “That’s right! Damian Tenma is an evil fiend who must be banished from this world! Now, take my hand and together we will defeat this evil!”

[BF] “I won’t fall for that, you shameless rascal! I only help good little boys and girls!”

In general, Fulbright tends to think in an us vs them mentality - the people he likes are good, while the ones he dislikes are bad. He helps good people and puts away bad people. In a sense, yes, that's what a cop is supposed to do.

[BF] “Ha ha! My investigations are as thorough as they are foolproof, or my name isn’t Fulbright! I vow to resign immediately if I ever make a false arrest!”

However, this line paints a grim picture. Fulbright implies that he has never made a false arrest. That is statistically impossible, and implies that he has not only made false arrests before, he has also managed to get them convicted! The fact that the first time we meet him, he tries to arrest us only amplifies this point!

[BF] “What?! Are you questioning my sense of justice?!”

When he is confronted with an argument against his beliefs, he hides behind justice. In a way, he hides behind his badge, the very item that allows him to make the decisions on who is being painted as guilty, and who is not. In fact, he doesn't even question his beliefs.

[BF] “Prosecutor Blackquill! We’ve had enough of your hijinks! The foundation of justice is fair play, and you are in serious violation of that!”

And finally, the so-called 'jolts of justice'. I've seen arguments in the past claiming that the real Bobby Fulbright would never use electrical shocks on Blackquill. I politely disagree. Considering all the previous examples, I think it aligns with his behavioural patterns and is the epitome of his morality.

And thus, I would like to briefly propose my personally crafted theory about Dual Destinies: The game was originally going to delve into darker themes, and Fulbright's corruption was at the center of that.

Yes, Fulbright believes in justice, in good and bad. He has good intentions. But at the end of the day, he is a cop that holds power over others and justifies his wrongdoings with... well, justice. So long as he believes that he is doing the right thing, he is willing to reach for extremes.

I think this is often missed due to Fulbright's comical mess ups and overall cheery and charming demeanour. The characters don't really react to his more... extreme decisions either.

Consider a world where the phantom was not the main twist of the series, but some aspects remained. Such as... The tampering with evidence... Abusing police position to cover up a crime... Framing innocent suspects... It fits into the previously showcased negative traits of his.

Ergo, the real Bobby Fulbright might not be as justice-driven as many may believe. There are many details that tend to get overlooked when it comes to him, especially in fanon. Which is fine and good! It is comforting to think of a policeman that does his job properly. However, I also find this darker side absolutely fascinating and worthy of discussion.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this silly analysis post! Do feel free to argue or ask questions, I love a good debate and I love yapping <3

[bookwyrminspiration]

Transcript of The Trade, the Marella KOTLC short story (Including the author introduction)

Note: OG pictures taken by Kenna!, provided by @fintan-pyren. Some words are obscured and the transcript may contain errors. Neverless, I hope this is useful to anyone who may need/want it :)

Hello, wonderful Keeper readers! Some of you might already know that I love to sneak a little something extra into the paperback versions of my books whenever I can (since I don't think hardcover readers should get to be the only ones who sometimes find fun bonuses). For those who didn't know that: surprise! :)

I knew I wanted to include a story from Marella's POV this time. Not only is she on the cover (looking fierce and fabulous!) and a fan-favorite character, but she also had some key scenes in Stellarlune that we only got to "hear" about. The Keeper books are limited to Sophie's POV, so I can only include moments where Sophie is present--and since Sophie didn't go with Marella to her meetings with Fintan, we only learn what Marella tells Sophie later. But what if there was something Marella didn't share?

Over the next few pages, you can watch one of Marella's conversations with Fintan play out in real time and hear all Marella's thoughts and reactions to what's happening. I've called this story "The Trade"--and I've worked in lots of fun little extra details (some of which might even turn out to be important later...*wink*).

For those wondering, this story is based a [sic] scene in chapter 31 of Stellarlune--and if you haven't read Stellarlune yet: SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! Reading this first will probably be confusing and will also give away a few tidbits too early. You'll be much happier if you start by reading Stellarlune and then come back here for all the Marella fun once you're done!

Happy reading! [shannon's signature]

~

"Ugh, I hate this place," Marella muttered, shaking the freshly fallen snowflakes out of her gilded blond hair much harder than necessary and yanking her thick velvet cape tighter around her narrow shoulders.

She said the same thing every time she had to trudge through the knee-high snowdrifts and found herself staring at the icicle-crusted entrance to the now familiar cave.

Didn't matter how many times she'd gone there--or how important her visits were. She was never not going to dread making the long, slippery trek down to Fintan's frozen cell.

The cave looked like some sort of open-mouthed snow beast waiting to devour everything in its path--which was probably intentional, since the prison was designed to be as miserable as possible.

Especially for someone like her.

The goblin guards even gave her pitying stares as they moved aside to reveal the endless icy path that wound down and down--and down a whole lot more--to a place where the tiniest glimmer of heat had long since been swallowed up by the suffocating cold.

No amount of clothing could keep Marella warm in the heart of the prison She'd actually tried wearing so many layers that she'd looked like an overstuffed gulon--and she still couldn't stop shivering. And the whole "body temperature regulation" thing wasn't exactly possible when she had to use so much concentration to make sense of Fintan's ranting.

it wasn't fair.

Everyone else got to train their special abilities in fancy rooms at Foxfire, with Mentors who weren't creepy, unstable murderers.

But they weren't Pyrokinetics.

Marella was lucky the Council was letting her use her ability at all.

They could just as easily label her Talentless, kick her out of their snobby academy, and ban her from ever sparking another flame.

Or they could decide she was too dangerous and lock her away.

in fact, Marella wouldn't have been surprised at all if the Council was already building an icy cage just for her--but the thought still made her shiver and wish she could've manifested as...

Nope.

She stopped herself from finishing that sentence.

If life had taught her anything, it was that there's no point wanting things that were never going to happen.

Instead, she focused on the thin beams of sunlight streaking through a gap in the gloomy gray clouds. The light was far from warm, but if she really concentrated, she could feel a hint of lingering heat tangled among the brightness.

She called the warmth closer and soaked it in--let it pool under her skin, pounding with her pulse, swelling with every heartbeat. Growing hotter and hotter and hotter until...

Snap!

A flick of her fingers sent a small tangle of flames sparking to life above her left palm.

"Feel better?" Linh asked as Marella let out a long, slow sigh.

Marella nodded--though she definitely could've done without the whispered that were now hissing around her head.

The flames had a soft, crackly voice. And they always made the same plea.

Feed me.

Feed me.

Feed me.

Fire craved fuel--constantly wanting more, more, more--and it would've been so easy for Marella to let the fire swell bigger and bigger and bigger.

But that was the kind of thing that would lead to a lifetime of shivering in an underground ice cube, so she forced her gaze to shift to Linh, who stood in a small, snowless circle surrounded by a halo of hovering snowflakes---none daring to touch her long silver-tipped hair or shimmery purple cape.

Marella knew how hard Linh had fought to achieve that level of control, and how tentative Linh's hold over her ability still was. But the fact Linh could stand in a sea of frozen water and do nothing except keep the falling snow from settling on her flushed pink cheeks was very...

Annoying.

Then again, everyone annoyed Marella a little.

Her dad used to call her "fiery" long before he realized how accurate that description truly was.

But it wasn't Marella's fault!

People tended to be annoying.

Especially a Hydrokinetic who was currently looking all peaceful and pretty and perfect while making snowflakes flutter and spin in intricate patterns.

That didn't mean Marella wasn't also grateful that Linh was willing to tag along to her Pyrokinetic lessons. it was nice to see a friendly face after hours of Fintan's rambling. Plus, it seemed like a good idea to have someone with water powers around while she practiced setting things on fire.

They were even finding some pretty cool ways to work together. Fire and water might be opposites--but that didn't mean they couldn't be combined. Marella had actually figured out a way to ignite Linh's rain, and she couldn't wait to use that little trick on the Neverseen--assuming those black-cloaked losers ever showed up again.

For a fearsome, unstoppable rebellion, they sure spend a lot of time hiding.

"Are you going to start by asking him about the cache or do the lesson first?" Linh asked, reminding Marella why they were there.

Marella shrugged. "Depends on Fintan's mood."

Sometimes he was already babbling about some fancy new fire trick when she arrived, as if he'd started the lesson without bothering to wait for her. Other times she couldn't get anywhere with him until she'd let him go on and on and on about how foolish the Council was, or how badly he'd been wronged, or how much he missed the feel of a flickering flame--and she didn't necessarily blame him for the last one.

Part of her wanted to hold on to her fireball forever.

Make it her smoky little pet.

Instead, she curled her fingers into a fist and snuffed it out--but she didn't let all the heat dissipate. She called a single tingling glint deeper, letting it sear through her veins and settle into her heart.

She knew it was a risky move, even with all the defenses she wrapped around it. But she couldn't bear the cold emptiness of Fintan's prison without a least a tiny fleck of warmth tucked away.

A secret spark whispering, I'm here. You're not alone.

"Okay," she said, weaving a few strands of her hair together to clam her twitchy fingers. She'd picked up the nervous habit years ago--after her mom's accident--and the tiny braids were kind of her trademark now. "i guess I should stop stalling and head down to deal with Sir Creepysparks, huh?"

Linh smiled. "Probably. Unless you want to rehearse what you're going to say."

"Nah. I'm just going to offer him an ugly flower--that doesn't exactly need a big speech. Oh, but that reminds me..."

She reached into her cape pocket and pulled out the spiky dark blue Noxflare--which looked more like a dying weed than a super-rare flower--and held it up to the guards. "Mr. Forkle already checked this before I brought it here, to make sure it's safe for me to offer to Fintan. but I figured you'd want to check it too."

"We do," they agreed in unison as one of the biggest, deadliest-looking guards took the Noxflare from Marella and brought it over to the other goblins.

A lot of mumbling about potential kindling and fire hazards followed.

Eventually, the guards decided to quick-freeze the Noxflare into a block of ice in case there was any heat stored inside.

"Whoa," Marella said when the scary guard returned with the flower-filled ice cube--which had turned out as big as her head. "How heavy is that thing?"

The guard studied Marella's skinny arms. "I can carry it for you if you'd like."

"That's probably be smart." Marella was pretty sure she'd drop it, or her fingers would freeze off during the long walk--and using telekinesis would drain her mental energy. "But can you stay out of sight? I was planning to tell Fintan he can only see his weird flower thing if he gives me access to his memories, and that's kinda ruined if there's a giant goblin holding it right next to me.

Not that it made the plan any less pointless.

Fintan was obviously going to turn her down.

He's already made it super clear that the only trade he was interested in was for his freedom--which was never going to happen.

Marella doubted a dying flower frozen in ice was suddenly going to make him be like, You know what? Who needs out of this horrible prison when I can have that!

But she was out of other ideas.

And Sophie wanted her to try the Noxflare thing, so...

Whatever.

Marella didn't care about Sophie's current power trip the way Stina did.

As long as she didn't have to be the one coming up with all the plans--or almost dying all the time--Marella was fine following orders. Especially if she got to say I told you so when they turned out to be a huge waste of time.

"Sure you don't want me to come with you?" Linh asked as Marella pulled thick gloves onto her hands. "Fintan likes me."

Marella wasn't sure if "like" was the right word, since Fintan didn't seem to like anybody. But he'd definitely been impressed with Linh.

He'd demanded to speak with "the Hydrokinetic" after Marella mentioned she practiced her pyrokinesis with Linh, so Marella had convinced the goblin guards to let Linh down into the prison. And when Fintan asked for a demonstration of Linh's ability to ensure she wouldn't "hinder his training," Linh had stirred up all the ice shards on his floor and made them rain around him like he was trapped inside a snow globe--which actually made him applaud.

Apparently, most Hydrokinetics struggled to manipulate water in its solid form, and were limited to liquid water or water vapor.

But not Linh.

Of course.

Marella was pretty sure that Linh was more powerful than any of her other friends.

"Well, if you need me, you know where to find me," Linh said as Marella forced her feet to carry her into the cave. "I'll just be here, making another snow menagerie." She flicker her wrist and wove the hovering snowflakes into a soaring alenon.

"Ugh, at least make some ugly creatures this time," Marella called over her shoulder. "I want to see a row of snow ghouls when I get back here. Or a giant Princess Purryfins!"

Linh gasped. "Princess Purryfins is not ugly! I'm going to tell her you said that!"

Marella laughed. "I'm sure you will."

She would've teased Linh more about her ridiculous obsession with her pet murcat, but the frigid air from the prison hit Marella hard, and she had to lock her jaw to keep her teeth from chattering.

As least she didn't have to make the journey by herself this time.

Marella could hear the scary goblin guard keeping pace several steps behind her as her eyes slowly adjusted to the dim blue light cast by a series of glowing spheres dangling from the ceiling. The downward slope grew steeper with each winding curve, and Marella was always tempted to try sliding down the icy floor instead of walking--but she'd probably end up crashing into one of the weird ice thrones outside Fintan's cell. And she knew better than anyone that injuries couldn't always be healed.

Plus, the trudge gave her a chance to add extra defenses to the heat she'd tucked away in her chest.

She often wondered if Fintan had hidden a few sparks of his own when he was arrested. After all, he had to know the Council would put him on ice for the rest of eternity. Wouldn't he try to preserve what little heat he could?

But Marella had stretched out her senses a zillion different ways and never felt the slightest tingle of warmth when she was around him. So either there was nothing to find or Fintan was that good.

She had a horrible feeling it was the latter, and he was waiting for just the right moment to reveal his grand plan--but that wasn't the kind of thing she should be thinking about before having to face him.

Still, she spent the next few turn trying to figure out what she'd do if she were right.

Her feet turned numb while she plotted, and her bones were officially aching by the time the path widened-- the only warning that they were getting close to Fintan's cell.

A few curves later, his cage came into view: a stark, icy bubble in the center of a circular cavern.

The round wall was reflective on the inside, so even though Marella could see Fintan pacing along the edge of his frozen barricade, he wouldn't be able to see her until she triggered the sensor by sitting in one of the freezing thrones positioned at the only point Fintan could peer through.

He looked extra tired that day--his sky blue eyes sunken by more shadows than usual, and he kept muttering under his breath about incompetence as he tucked his messy blond hair behind his pointy ears with a bit more force than necessary.

Marella glanced back at the scary guard, making sure he'd ducked into the shadows near the back of the cell before she made her big appearance. Then she took a deep breath and pressed her hand against her heart, reaching for her secret spark of warmth one last time before plopping into the closest ice throne.

"Awwwww, looks like you missed me," she said, tossing back her hair and flashing her brightest smile.

She liked to start her visits by showing Fintan she wasn't afraid of him--even if she totally was.

But Fintan didn't glance her way.

"I'm not in the mood for games," he warned as he continued his slow march around his cell.

"Neither am I" Marella assured him, deciding that was her cue to start with the cache. She sat up taller, trying to look extra confident as she added, "But I do have an awesome trade to offer you!"

Fintan sighed. "If this is about my cache, I already told you what I'm willing to accept. Unless you're here to grant me a day of freedom--"

"I'm definitely not. But! I found something you should like even better." She paused, hoping the extra bit of anticipation would somehow make her offer should more exiting when she told him. "Noxflares!"

Fintan scrunched his slender nose. "What are Noxflares, and why would I care about them?"

Marella tilted her head, trying to tell if he was faking.

She hadn't expected him to jump around or applaud or anything--but she had expected him to at least know what Noxflares were.

Then again, his mind had been shattered and pieced back together so many times, his memories had to be in shambles--and Ancient minds tended to be a total mess anyway, since they were crammed with thousands of years of information and the past and present blurred together.

"Would it help if I told you I stopped by your old estate on my way here?" she asked, "Your garden could use some gnomish help, by the way. All the plants have turned into a giant dying tangle. But I dug around and managed to find this scraggly vine with dark pointy flowers--and I hear that plant is special to you, so I picked a few and--"

"You picked my Noxflares?" Fintan snapped, rushing to the wall of his cell and pressing his palms against the ice. "You must let me see them!"

Marella's lips curled into a huge smirk. "I thought you didn't know what they were."

Fintan gritted his teeth so hard, it sounded like cracking ice.

"Hey, I'm not saying I won't share. Buuuuuuuuuuut it'll cost you--and I'm pretty sure you can already guess what I want." She paused for another beat before she added, "Just so we're clear: I'll show you one of your Noxflares if you open your cache and show me what's inside."

Fintan's jaw tightened even more and his hands curled into fists.

But he didn't say no.

He didn't say anything--which was definitely new.

Marella had already offered him a long list of trade suggestions that she, Linh, Maruca, and Stina had all come up with--some really cool ones! And Fintan had shot down each one down before she could even finish the offer.

She couldn't believe he looked so tempted by an ugly flower.

but as the silence dragged on, Marella started to wonder if she'd misread the situation.

maybe she'd pushed him too hard--taunted him too much--and now Fintan was letting her sit there in the cold, knowing the icy throne was turning her butt and legs numb.

She was trying to decide if she could make standing up look like a power move when Fintan told her, "Fine. You have a deal--but since you're only offering one Noxflare, I'll only show you one memory."

Marella barely stopped herself from blurting out, SERIOUSLY?

"Orrrrrrrrrrrrrr," she said instead, wanting to kick herself for not bringing more Noxflares with her. The whole thing had just seemed so silly--and the first few she'd picked had crumbled to dust. But the vine had lots more flowers, so she could fix the mistake super easily. "How about I go back, grab eight more Noxflares, and then you show me all nine memories?"

Fintan grinned. "Tempting. But one Noxflare is really all I need."

Need?

Marella wasn't a fan of that wording.

But before she could ask him what he needed it for, he added, "My offer expires in ten seconds," and started counting down.

By "six" she decided that one memory was better than nothing.

"Fine," she said, pulling the cache from her pocket and holding the marble-size orb up to the light. "But you go first. How do I open this thing?"

No way was she going to risk letting him back out--especially since he probably wasn't going to be happy when he saw his precious flower was stuck in the middle of a giant ice cube.

Fintan held out his hand. "Give me the cache, and I'll open it."

Marella laughed. "Hard pass."

"Ah, but you don't have a choice. I'm the only one who can access the memories. And I need to make physical contact with the cache in order to do so."

Marella squinted at the tiny gadget.

She didn't know much about caches--aside from the fact that only Councillors used them and that each colorful inner crystal held a single Forgotten Secret. But she did know that Dex had already tried everything he could think of to open the cache and failed--and he was one of the best Technopaths ever.

"Do I need to start counting down again?" Fintan asked. "I believe we'd gotten to five..."

Marella chewed her lip. "Uh, how do I know you're not going to destroy the cache or try to hold it for ransom or something?"

Fintan's smile was colder than his cell. "You'll just have to trust me."

"Yeah, I don't see that happening."

Fintan shrugged. "Then our deal is off."

Marella rolled her eyes. "Come on. Even if I wanted to, it's not like I can open your cell door and hand the cache to you."

She wasn't even sure if his cell had a door. The wall looked like one big solid piece of ice.

"You've proven to be very resourceful during our lessons," Fintan reminded her.

"Yeah, but--"

"It's your call," he interrupted. "If you want a memory, you'll have to trust me."

She snort-laughed--but before she could get another word out, he repeated, "You'll just have to trust me." And she could tell that was the only response he was going to give.

She turned to the scary guard, who had started pacing in the shadows. "Is there a way to pass Fintan a small item?"

"Ah, you have a hidden goblin escort--I knew you were resourceful!" Fintan clapped his hands. "And yes, there is a way to pass me my cache, otherwise I wouldn't have suggested it. Any guard can open the disgraceful tube they pass my horrid, frozen bits of food through. The cache should fit nicely."

The guard gripped his sword. "I cannot allow any unauthorized item to enter his cell."

Fintan clicked his tongue. "Clearly you're not considering the fact that I've already had plenty of chances to make this trade--and turned them all down. Do you think I would do that if the cache was even remotely useful to me?"

The goblin couldn't argue with that logic.

Neither could Marella.

And when Fintan went back to counting down, she told the guard, "The Black Swan knows I've been trying to make this trade--and they're working with the Council now. No one would let me do this if they thought the cache was dangerous."

Then again, they'd never discussed the possibility of handing the cache over to Fintan--but surely someone must've considered that during all their endless talking and obsessive overplanning...right?

Besides, if anything went wrong, she could always remind them that this was Sophie's idea.

"I don't like this," the scary guard growled. But Marella gave him her I-totally-know-what-I'm-doing glare until he set the frozen Noxflare down with a particularly dramatic thud, snatched the cache, and spent an eternity squinting at the tiny crystal, spinning it all different ways. "If anything happens, my priority will be subduing the prisoner--not protecting you. Are you certain you want to take that risk?"

Marella absolutely wasn't.

But...this might be their only shot at seeing one of Fintan's Forgotten Secrets.

Plus, she had her tiny little spark buddy she could call on if she needed. Surely she could use that to...

To what?

Take down a superpowerful, much more experienced Pyrokinetic with a history of murdering poeple?

But...did she really want to wimp out?

Sophie wouldn't.

And yeah, Sophie had, like, a permanent bed in the Healing Center. But Marella was pretty sure their whole group would vote "DO IT!"

There were also a dozen other armed goblins who would rush down as backup.

And Linh could attack Fintan with her cutesy snow animals.

It'd almost be worth it to watch Fintan get swallowed up by an ice wave shaped like Princess Purryfins.

"I can handle myself," she decided, using a tone that hopefully sounded intimidating.

Fintan's gleeful laughter echoed of the ice.

The scary guard muttered something about the arrogance of elves as he reached toward the top of Fintan's frozen cell and felt around for a specific spot. A faint clicking sound followed, and a tiny round door slid open--far out of Fintan's reach.

"I can neutralize you within seconds," the guard reminded him as he held the cache up to the opening. "By numerous means. Some far more painful than others."

"Yes, I'm well aware of the absurd lengths the Council has taken to keep me contained," Fintan assured him. "But I don't plan on giving you a reason to use any of them. Not today, at least."

The guard bared his supersharp pointy teeth, and Marella wanted to shout NEVER MIND, JUST KIDDING! But she let the guard shove the cache through the tiny opening--and then it was too late to change her mind.

All she could do was watch the glass orb make its slow descent, rolling around and around and around--down some sort of invisible path etched into the wall of the cell.

Her stomach backflipped with each rotation, and she felt more than a little vomit-y when the cache dropped low enough for Fintan to catch it. But he simply held it up and studied it.

Then he coughed on it.

And sneezed on it.

"Ewwwwwww," Marella groaned when he followed that up by drooling on it. "You know, there are better ways to give it your DNA."

"Yes, I'm aware." Fintan cleared his throat and launched a slimy blob of spit at the cache. "I also know your little Technopath friend is going to ask you how I accessed the memories, so feel free to give him a detailed list." He wiped the cache dry with his fingers and then ran it through his greasy hair before sneezing and coughing on it again. "Some of these methods are vital. Some are distractions. None can be re-created without me--but it'll be fun if he tries, don't you think?"

He laughed so hard, it brought tears to his eyes, and he smeared them across the cache before sneezing and spitting on it again--making Marella very glad she had gloves to keep her hands clean once he returned the cache.

Assuming she actually got it back...

She tried to make out what he was saying when he started mumbling a bunch of stuff into the crystal, but the words were all mushed together. He also tapped the cache in so many different places that she doubted even Sophie and Keefe with their fancy photographic memories would be able to re-create the patterns. And he looked so smug as he did it all that Marella decided to look as bored as possible--which was why she was barely paying attention when the cache flared to life, projecting a small hologram of Fintan standing alone in a wide, empty field.

"Huh," Marella mumbled. "Gotta admit, I was expecting something a little more exciting than a tiny glowing Fintan in the middle of nowhere doing...nothing."

"Then you should learn to be more observant." Fintan pointed to the swaying grass around the hologram's feet, and after a few seconds, Marella realized there was a vine of blooming Noxflares. "I figured I'd show you what Noxflares can do, since you're so generously bringing one back into my life."

Marella squinted at the tiny flowers, waiting for something to happen.

And waiting.

And waiting.

"So...they...blow in the wind?" she asked.

Fintan sighed. "No, they do this."

The hologram of Fintan waved his arms, and all the Noxflares erupted with searing white flames.

"Yeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaah, still not seeing why this needed to be a super-hush-hush Forgotten Secret," Marella grumbled as the Fintan hologram flicked his wrist and added purple fire to the white.

Sure, the flames were pretty--but all flames were beautiful.

"Try thinking like a Pyrokinetic!" Fintan snapped. "Tell me, are there any other flowers that could remain intact under such an inferno?"

Marella couldn't think of any.

And the Noxflares still didn't burn when the Fintan hologram added yellow flames to the fiery mix.

but other than clearly being fire-resistant, Marella didn't see the Noxflares actually doing anything--and the hologram of Fintan must've been equally unimpressed.

He frowned at the flaming petals and dragged a hand down his face, mumbling "something's missing."

"Still not seeing the point of this," Marella noted. "I mean..."

Her voice trailed off as the tiny Fintan waved his arms again and blasted the Noxflares with pink flames--which made the flowers spray sparks in every direction.

The effect was breathtaking.

Kind of like the sky during the Celestial Festival.

But that still didn't necessarily scream, THIS MEMORY IS IMPORTANT.

"How come the grass isn't catching fire?" she asked, grasping for anything that might be significant. "Do the Noxflares protect it or something?"

"No, I was protecting it. A pyrokinetic should always be in control of their flames."

He sounded so smug Marella was tempted to remind him that he let five Pyrokinetics die when he tried to teach them how to call down Everblaze and they all lost control--but that would probably make him throw one of his tantrums and send her away.

She needed the cache back first--and to hopefully find something useful in this boring memory. But sadly, all Fintan's hologram did was stare blankly at the stars and mumble "something's missing" again before the image flashed away.

"That's it?" the scary guard demanded, beating Marella to the complaint.

"Yeah, so...you put on a little fire show all by yourself with some spark-shooting flowers," she added, trying to sum up what she'd seen. "You were clearly disappointed by that little show. And then you must've remembered you needed to..."

She waved her hands, cuing Fintan to fill in the blank with whatever was "missing."

But he just stood there, staring at the cache with the same glazed look he always got whenever he started rambling about the beauty of fire--and Marella wished Linh had come with her after all.

Linh could pelt him with snowballs or something to snap him out of it.

But then she realized...

"You never figured out what was missing--did you?"

Fintan blinked and met her gaze. "Noxflares are full of possibility. But they need to burn."

"That doesn't answer my question," Marella noted.

Fintan shrugged. "Context was not part of our bargain."

"yeah, because I figured when I saw the memory, it would be obvious why it's this big Forgotten Secret. How does you setting some flowers on fire and then realizing you did it wrong matter to anyone?"

"I did nothing wrong," Fintan assured her, with a particularly haughty smile--butt Marella wasn't buying it.

There was a tightness around his eyes that was way too familiar.

Her dad had that same tightness every time her mom was having one of her "bad days," and she knew exactly what it meant.

Disappointment.

Frustration.

A hint of helplessness.

So she marched over to the guard and grabbed the frozen Noxflare from the floor--too irritated to even notice how heavy the ice must've been as she hauled it back.

She plopped it in front of Fintan's cell. "Ta-da! One ugly flower, as promised--and I'm sure you're not surprised that I had to freeze it before i brought it down here."

"I'm not." Fintan dropped to his knees and gazed at the Noxflare like he was seeing a long-lost friend.

He pressed his hand against his cell, trying to get as close as he could. "Such power. Such...promise."

"Uh-huh," Marella agreed, letting his stare and stare, hoping it would help him let his guard down.

When his eyes turned a little teary, she went in for the kill.

"But there is something still missing, isn't there? That's why you saved this memory--to remind yourself to keep looking."

A whole lot of painful silence passed before Fintan slowly nodded.

Marella wanted to feel triumphant.

But all she'd done was prove the entire trade had been pointless.

There was no game-changing clue.

No dirty little secret about the past.

Certainly nothing to help them stop their enemies.

And she had a pretty strong hunch the other eight memories in the cache would be just as ridiculous.

"The answer is out there," Fintan murmured. "I can feel it. I just can't grasp it. Perhaps..."

"Perhaps?" Marella prompted when his eyes locked with hers.

Fintan stepped closer to the ice, keeping his voice low, like he didn't want the guard to hear him. "Perhaps a different Pyrokinetic is meant to find the truth. One who's already convinced the Council to trust her."

Marella laughed. "The Council doesn't trust me."

"The fact that you're here for a pyrokinesis lesson says otherwise--particularly since the lesson is with me." He started circling his cell again, mumbling under his breath and nodding. The only words Marella caught were "possible," "improvising," and "best option."

After three more times around the cell, he stopped in front of Marella again, leaning even closer to the icy wall as he whispered, "I believe it's time for me to offer a trade of my own."

"A trade," Marella repeated, not missing the way the scary guard gripped his sword.

Fintan glared at him. "This conversation is between me and my prodigy. She stands here of her own free will, shielded by who knows how many different kinds of protections--and she can leave anytime she pleases. Your presence is no longer needed."

"You still have her gadget," the guard argued.

"I suppose I do. but that can be easily remedied." Fintan set the cache on whatever invisible ledge it had slid down in the first place and gave it a good shove, sending it spinning up the path toward the top of the cell.

The guard had to scramble to catch it when it launched out of the ice bubble.

"See?" Fintan said, shifting his gaze back to Marella. "I can be trusted."

"Pretty sure the only thing I can trust is that you'll do what's best for you," Marella countered.

"As long as you get what you want, why would you care? After all, no matter what, I'm still stuck in here, aren't I?" He waved his arms around his little ice bubble, which suddenly looked way less secure than it had during her other visits. "Oh, relax--all I'm asking for is a little information."

Marella crossed her arms. "Right--and information has never gotten anyone hurt or killed."

"It's not that kind of secret. It's..." He frowned. "Honestly, I don't know what it is--and for someone my age, with my connections, that says something, doesn't it? I doubt any of the Vackers even know the full truth."

"Then how am I supposed to find it?" Marella demanded.

"As I said, you've proven to be quite resourceful. Particularly when you team up with your little friends." He scowled at the guard again before motioning her to step closer--until her ear was practically pressed up against the ice.

A voice in the back of her head kept screaming, WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO HIM?

But...she was curious.

And there was nothing wrong with hearing his offer, was there?

Fintan's breath fogged the ice, obscuring his face as he whispered, "All I ask is that if you ever find out what's missing from the Noxflares, you share it with me."

"Why?" Marella glanced at the frozen flower, wishing she could see something more than just ugly shriveled petals.

"Because I want to know," Fintan said simply. "And because I can give you what you want in return."

"The rest of the memories in your cache," Marella clarified.

Fintan nodded. Then his lips curled into a smile. "And one other--something you've long wondered about, even though you probably don't admit it to yourself."

Marella raised one eyebrow, refusing to show any more interest than that.

Fintan cupped his hands around his mouth and pressed them to the ice before he whispered, "I know what happened to your mother."

Marella sucked in a breath.

"Yes," Fintan added. "I'm talking about her 'accident'--if we can really call it that. I know why she fell. And why her injuries were so incurable."

Marella stumbled back, collapsing into the nearest throne and hugging herself to stop her body from shaking with tremors that had nothing to do with the cold.

A tiny, terrified part of her had always thought the story she'd been told about her mom's fall hadn't totally made sense.

But everyone--everyone--was convinced it had been an accident.

Even her father.

And if it wasn't...

She leaned toward Fintan. "I don't need your games."

"Oh, this definitely isn't a game. But it's the only way you'll ever know the truth, and before you start overthinking everything, consider this: You have all the power here. Make the trade, don't make the trade--it's totally your call. You also don't have to make a decision right away. I'm trapped in this prison. I'll never find the answer on my own--and I'll never know if you find the answer unless you decide to tell me. So there's zero pressure. No one even knows we've had this conversation--and don't worry about the guard. See how frustrated he looks? That's because I made sure he only heard what I wanted him to hear. The rest is our little secret."

Our little secret.

Fintan was probably the last person she should have a secret with.

And yet...he had a point.

No one knew he'd made her this offer--and it wasn't like she'd come to any decision.

She didn't even have the information Fintan wanted anyway!

And with the way their investigations always seemed to go, she'd probably only find a whole lot more questions.

So there was really no point in telling anyone about this.

She could tell them whens he needed to.

If she needed to.

That wouldn't be wrong...would it?

It didn't feel wrong--or it wouldn't have if Fintan's smile wasn't so creepy.

"I'm not agreeing to anything," she said, wanting to make that very clear.

"You're not," Fintan assured her. "So how about we put this out of our minds and get started with our lesson? I'm sure your Hydrokinetic friend is wondering why you haven't come up to practice yet."

Linh was probably starting to worry.

She'd probably also built enough snow animals to make a frozen Sanctuary.

"Fine," Marella said, standing up and dusting ice off her cape. "What do you want me to work on today?"

"How about I teach you how to make those colored flames you saw in the memory," Fintan suggested. "You know, in case that ever comes in handy."

He winked, and the guard groaned and held out the cache to Marella. "Sound like I'm no longer needed."

"You aren't" Fintan agreed.

The guard growled--looking scarier than ever--and turned to march away. But he spun back after a few steps. "He's right that I don't know what he offered you. But I can tell you're tempted. And I hope you're smart enough to reject it. Never make a deal with someone who has nothing to lose."

"I'm not," Marella promised.

And she wasn't.

She hadn't made any decisions--except to keep this to herself. But that didn't mean anything.

She was just trying to avoid a ton of drama and arguing and having people give her advice she didn't need.

Plus, everyone has secrets.

Shoot--the great Sophie Foster had more secrets than anyone.

So it was fine.

Everything was fine.

Nothing had changed.

Time to focus on controlling her fire.

And yet, for the rest of the lesson, the tiny spark in her heart burned hotter and hotter and hotter. Whispering a new plea.

Trust me.

Trust me.

Trust me.

[fcble]

The following transcript has been edited for length and clarity.

VIOLET: Welcome to the sixteenth episode of “Lightspeed’s Ansible” and the third episode of “On the Same Wavelength,” where I interview your favorite idols. As always, visit officiallightspeed on your favorite social media platform, and leave a comment in the post for this episodes with who you’d like to see next, and any topics you want us to cover. Today’s guest, who you probably already know from the title, is the perfect fit for the new year. His group is synonymous with the Lunar New Year, and although we’re not quite there yet, I’m excited to have the chance to speak with him today. Could you please introduce yourself to our listeners?

ANDREW: Once upon a—[sharp inhale] I don’t like that. Hey everyone, I’m Andrew from Fable. You might know us from “Gaja” or “Home Run” or maybe even “Platonic Love.” It’s more likely you might not know me at all, which is why I’m here. I’ve never done our introduction in English before. It’s weird.

VIOLET: I totally get it. Every time Ash leads us through our greeting, I die a little inside. One Direction never had to do this. Do you go by any nicknames? Or do you prefer Andrew?

ANDREW: Yejun, for important work documents. Andrew is fine.

VIOLET: Andrew it is. Why don’t we get started with why you’re here today?

ANDREW: I’m releasing my first album as a solo artist. My debut EP, 80303, contains five tracks I’ve been working on for some time. I’m thrilled I can finally share it with everyone.

VIOLET: That’s a different approach to album titles from your music with Fable. How did you come up with it?

ANDREW: 80303 is one of the zip codes in Boulder, where I grew up. I picked this one because it also contains 303, which used to be the only Colorado area code.

VIOLET: Not because you lived there?

ANDREW: [laughs] That’ll have to stay a secret.

VIOLET: As an advanced listener, I saw all of your songs feature the band The Year 2000. Can you tell us a little about them and how you came to work with them?

ANDREW: Absolutely. They're a bunch of my friends from college. They became The Year 2000 as I know and love them now a few years after I graduated. If Fable didn't work out, I would have loved to be a part of their band. When it came to putting together my solo album, I knew I wanted to work with them. This is the first time I've truly had complete control over an album, so I invited them all to Korea to collaborate.

VIOLET: That sounds like it must have been a lot of fun. What was the biggest difference between working on this album and the music you've written for Fable?

ANDREW: With Fable, there are always these expectations. What we're supposed to sound like, how we're supposed to act, the type of concepts we can do. I know it’s part of being an idol, but sometimes it feels more intense for my group. Having the creative freedom to develop my own separate sound and identity was definitely the biggest difference.

VIOLET: I get that. It’s like once you do something, it’s the only thing everyone expects from you forever, especially as a public figure. 

ANDREW: Exactly.

VIOLET: So if you were part of The Year 2000, what instrument would you play?

ANDREW: I’d want to be the lead singer. Sela is a great singer and I love her, but I moved to be a singer. I can’t give that up.

VIOLET: I actually didn’t expect that. You strike me as more of a multi-instrument type of person. Like if I handed you a mandolin or something right now, you’d be able to play it.

ANDREW: [laughs] I’ve never gotten that before. The only instrument I can play with any degree of confidence is the piano. The Year 2000 doesn’t have a dedicated keyboard player, so if they ever let me into their band, I’d probably be stuck behind a keyboard all the time. 

VIOLET: Speaking of moving, how did you get into kpop?

ANDREW: I was never a fan of any specific groups. The industry was more of another opportunity to have a music career, since things weren’t working out at home. If auditions didn’t pan out, I wanted to attempt a survival show.

VIOLET: Really? Survival shows are intense. I’m still surprised I survived one. No pun intended.

ANDREW: [laughs] It worked out well for you. I don’t have a podcast.

VIOLET: It’s not that different from any other live stream or variety show. Honestly, I would have expected more groups to do it. Every online celebrity has one now.

ANDREW: I doubt anyone wants to listen to my group bicker for an hour straight.

VIOLET: Oh, I’m sure it wouldn’t be that bad. Is everything an argument?

ANDREW: Yes.

VIOLET: [laughs] If you’re a Lightspeed member, cover your ears for the next thirty seconds. I thought we were going to be like that. Considering we were literally competing against each other a few months ago, I never thought everyone would be so friendly.

VIOLET: This is when I’d usually ask a few questions submitted by fans, but since this is a special episode, I don’t have any questions from your fans. I thought we could go through a couple of the topics my group members and I use in our other episodes instead.

ANDREW: You have a lot of suggestions.

VIOLET: I’m sure some of them write down their questions multiple times. [paper rustles] “What was the most surprising thing about moving to Korea?” There’s a note on here in parentheses that says, “Learning the sh—[beep] things my parents did were culturally normal.” I think Constance wrote this. Do you mind if I answer first?

ANDREW: Not at all.

VIOLET: I had a similar experience to Constance, if she was the one who wrote this. When I first moved, I had a hard time adjusting to the social hierarchy. It’s probably stereotypical of me to say this. I was a teenager and I just couldn’t wrap my head around speaking formally to girls a year older than me. I moved companies a lot in the first few years. I was always the new one who had to speak politely because I never stayed anywhere long enough to gain any seniority.

[silence]

ANDREW: I was going to say squat toilets, but now I’m embarrassed.

VIOLET: No, I took it too seriously. I should have also picked something more light-hearted. What was your story?

ANDREW: It’s not much of a story. Jaeseop’s family runs a series of hanok-style guesthouses, and we stayed there for a few days before our debut. We started in the most traditional rooms and then had to move to the modern ones by the end. I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t handle it, which was a relief. My memory is a little fuzzy, but I think we were also supposed to film a variety show at the same time. It didn’t help our image to have us all long for real beds while Kiyoung and I considered running to the nearest subway station whenever we needed more modern plumbing.

VIOLET: [paper rustles] This one’s relevant to both of us. “If you had to have a stage name, what would it be?”

ANDREW: The answer I’d give now and what I chose for my stage name almost ten years are very different. I hope I’m less pretentious than I was back then.

VIOLET: So what’s your new stage name? I’m on the edge of my seat here.

ANDREW: [laughs] To be honest, I didn’t get that far yet. Andrew works fine for now. This is an old story for long-term Fabulists, but I picked Yejun for the Hanja characters because I knew more Mandarin Chinese than Korean when I first came to Korea. It’s so embarrassing to think about it now. At the time, I thought about how parents name their kids for traits they want them to have. In hindsight, it’s not nearly the same thing when you’re twenty-something and naming yourself for your future career. Did you ever have a stage name?

VIOLET: I didn’t pick it myself, but it’s almost as embarrassing. When I first debuted, I went by Bora.

ANDREW: Like Violet.

VIOLET: Yep. I think some executive was super proud of himself for that name. I don’t think that company ever came to terms with me being Vietnamese. If they gave me a Korean name, they could try to pretend I was more like everyone else.

ANDREW: No offense to any of my management, but that’s the exact same reason they gave me. They blamed me for the fact that my parents never gave me a Korean name. I’m pretty sure they don’t have Korean names either.

VIOLET: Same for my parents.

VIOLET: That’s all the time we have for today. Before you go, can you give us any hints for Fable’s upcoming album? I assume you have an upcoming album. When is the Lunar New Year anyway?

ANDREW: January 29. Don’t expect anything on that day. We’re always fashionably late. I can’t share much, but we are working an album. It’s something people would expect from us, and I hope everyone enjoys it.

VIOLET: So no surprises?

ANDREW: No surprises. My being here is the biggest surprise of this year.VIOLET: Thanks so much for that. To all of our listeners, thanks for tuning in. You can find Andrew’s album, 80303, on all streaming services at twelve AM local time on January 7, 2025. As always, I’ll see everyone next week for another episode of “Lightspeed’s Ansible.”

[nexility-sims]

𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 / ❛ boy crazy ❜ part 1 (@armoricaroyalty)

❝ The Lover's Gala was the Armorican Queer Front's biggest annual event and 2044 was the 25th Anniversary. The organization's communications team had spent months putting out stories about the gala and the celebrities and members of the royals family expected to attend, trying without much success to turn the event into a major cultural major. Overnight, Princess Zofia (and her new boyfriend) blew them all out of the water. It was only his second time in Armorica, and the first time they'd appeared in public together since the funeral. It was only natural that they landed on the front page of every newspaper in the country, the gala (and the work done by the AQF) a vague footnote after paragraphs upon paragraphs breathlessly speculating about the intimate details of the lovebirds' long-distance relationship. "

♥ shoutout to gabe for pitching this very fun idea, as well as for the title card, the contextual prose, and, of course, my beloved daughter miss zofia augusta st. fleur !!!!!!! she's my favorite barbie doll & has been for a long time :^) i guess i love and adore my son as well, but nonetheless. this is special in part because it's the first time i've written them speaking outside of a parody piece that will never see the light of day. anyway, enjoy this super premature dialogue-inclusive, full-color sneak peak of Them™

PART 2

TRANSCRIPT:

{Light music, overlapping conversations}

[Z] It’s gotten so long since December!

[R] Anything for you.

[Z] Anything at all? Promise?

[R] On my life.

[Z] So ... Can we leave then?

[R] Well, that’s actually your call—

[Z] Okay, let’s leave right now!

[R] We’ve been here for only a short while, Fia.

[R] Even less if you count the “restroom break.”

[Z] That was worth it, and no one even noticed.

{Knocking}

[Z] Occupied!

[Z] Anyway, Hannah’s still here. Even Pidge. Et cetera. We can go.

[R] They walked out ten minutes ago—Hannah with Hugo, Margaret following Arthur. All through a servant’s door. Very conspicuous.

[Z] Did they? Huh. So they did.

{Rui laughs}

[Z] Look, if we leave now, it’ll be perfect. It’s barely nine o’clock. We can go back to the city, change clothes, go dancing—!

{Imaginary club music thudding} [Z&R V.O.] Party all night—bet you don’t believe me, but we actually do have good clubs [Rui snickers] or, like, one I like a lot—then I get a cheeseburger—[no pickles]—right! Oh, remember that poor cashier in Nakawe? You sure told him. [“Plain” means plain.] My hero! Anyway, then you carry me and my sore feet to bed. Ideal night.

[Z] You can keep this on, actually. Maybe ditch the jacket.

[R] Undo another button or two?

[Z] Of course. [Soft sigh] You get me.

[Z] The rose is also a must.

[R] It’s for you—a keepsake.

[Z] Aw. Our first appearance and our first Valentine’s Day ...

[R] A sign, probably. Meant to be.

[Z] Romance novel worthy. I’d read it.

[R] The boxes are checked: excitement, fate, many graphic—

[Z] No! Erotic. {Repeats in Armorican} Memorize that one.

{Murmuring}

[R] Do you think I should’ve worn a tie this evening?

[Z] What?

[R] If we were home, obviously not. But, Armorica is ... People here seem to care a lot about unnecessary things. So, was that a misstep?

[Z] {Laughs}

[Z]  Pfft. Hugo didn’t even have his jacket on.

[R] {Scoff} I am not Hugo.

[R] I want to make a good impression—on your family, really. This visit is different. They’re all, for better or worse, paying attention to me.

[Z] Are you kidding? Mission accomplished. [Z] Trust me, they love you! Now, come on, let’s go already—!

[batsplat]

NEW CASEY INTERVIEW NEW CASEY INTERVIEW

"Valentino Rossi and I were enemies, now we have overcome the past"

https://www.gazzetta.it/motori/la-mia-moto/27-11-2024/casey-stoner-al-ranch-di-valentino-rossi-gli-inizi-con-nolan-il-ritorno-alle-corse.shtml

(link) anon you are my hero and I love you. I was about to say I also love gazzetta for being my most reliable allies in getting fun interview quotes from casey, but I'm feeling somewhat less well-disposed towards them after having had to fight their website to even see what he said, let alone actually clip it. as ever, obviously go read the whole thing (might need arm surgery??) - does read a bit like paid content by the helmet company but still interesting. here, however, we shall be focusing just on the casey/vale stuff. the clip in question + transcript:

No, it's good, Valentino and I've put the past behind us many years ago now... I never stopped respecting anything Valentino did, but we certainly had our time where we were very very fierce rivals, almost "enemies" I would say on the track. And, you know, this is something that when you step away from racing and you have a different perspective, you can see things in a different light. So... I think for both of us, we stepped away, we have families. It's a very very different way of life for us now. And to get to share the track with him in an enjoyable way - something that I would have wanted to do in my early career, before we became let's say enemies - it's been a real real pleasure to spend some time with him, to see everything, this program that he's built... It's more or less a dream of mine to do what he's done, to have this opportunity to work with young riders like he is. He has the teams which he can implement and bring the riders through, and all of his riders now are at such a high level - it's a testament to what he's done. And I think it's such an amazing opportunity for anybody that gets to work with him.

crazy how I simply never lose

first off, this is something he's hinted at before, but there's just something really... you know. about casey talking about it being his dream to do what valentino's done training young riders :( and what he says about what an "amazing opportunity" it is for anyone who gets to work with valentino... can't help but think about that ask I answered recently about how much good it would have done casey to have a vr46-esque structure looking out for him. and maybe... just maybe... a thought he's had too...? read the answer as a whole and, come on - you can kind of see where I'm coming from, right. just this slight edge of wistfulness

second of all, again, it is just so extremely true to this rivalry that casey says they'd put the past behind them "many years ago now" when you just keep in mind what he's actually been saying about valentino in the last few years. "a different perspective", "you can see things in a different light"... well, sure, but not THAT different going by your interview output I would say. which isn't necessarily going to be completely reflective of casey's thinking over this time period - he's telling a story about that rivalry in the press, after all, and it's one that has increasingly become accepted in the mainstream consciousness. there have also been some gentle hints of him reassessing a few specific valentino-related elements of his career, like for instance his speculation that yamaha had strung him along to use as a negotiating tactic against their preferred pick (from late 2023). which (whether true or not) is ofc a different line from the *wink wink nudge nudge* approach deployed in his autobiography and elsewhere to heavily imply valentino blocked him from that seat

now, look, I STILL think he's going to go back to some of the old hits in future interviews... he's never going to stop having complicated feelings about valentino, and he does want the public to understand his grievances. BUT, as last stated on the 2k24 feud round-up, that internal conflict does not always survive actual direct exposure to valentino. casey does have a little bit of form where 'contact with valentino temporarily softening his rhetoric' is concerned. portimao 2021 was ofc when they did that helmet swap thing, casey gave some nice quotes about valentino at his presser there - including "but over time, there is no resentment and a lot of respect"... which obviously feels like it's quite detached from how people think casey feels, in large part due to what he's said since that presser!! and it took him as long as an entire month before he got a few more digs in (memorably that was when casey said valentino couldn't be fast without a tow, which again is factually questionably but undoubtedly extremely amusing). and surely we'll get at least a little bit of a relapse, but who cares: "real real pleasure" to spend time with valentino!! real 2 me

incidentally, casey has used the 'enemy' word previously in relation to valentino - generally when discussing his belief that valentino deliberately made an enemy out of him. he also said about laguna '08 a few years ago, "before we were rivals, after that we were not enemies but we were a lot stronger rivals". (discussed here.) obviously there's no way to objectively distinguish between 'rivals' and 'enemies' - and I'd agree with casey in that 'enemies' would be quite a strong word for post-laguna but maybe a bit more accurate by 2011-12 - but as ever it's interesting how he himself characterises their dynamic. "very very fierce rivals" indeed lol. and they're no longer enemies :) peace and friendship wins the day

thirdly. third of all. number three.

And to get to share the track with him in an enjoyable way - something that I would have wanted to do in my early career, before we became let's say enemies...

HUH. huh! huh

well, I mean. obviously. but, you know. thanks for saying it? oh man, casey... his wry little smile... lonely young casey, who looked at valentino and saw an attitude towards the sport he was never going to be able to adopt as his own. who would have liked some of that joy for himself - maybe dreamed that one day he too could have fun like that - only for those emotions to remain mostly foreign to him. ofc casey's complicated feelings towards valentino and why that early idolisation turned sour has been discussed in a fair bit of depth on this blog, but well, here's another piece of the puzzle. he would have liked to share the track with valentino in an enjoyable way!! unfortunately, given the circumstances in which the two of them got to know each other, casey was never going to get what he wanted out of valentino. beyond any specific crimes committed by valentino... the more you study that rivalry, the more you come to the conclusion that casey's disillusionment was unavoidable. valentino never could have been what casey needed him to be - not as long as he was casey's rival, rather than his mentor and friend. maybe in another life

[ikroah]

I've given everything I have, didn't know I'd run up such a tab, Oh, Lord, ain't the reapin' ever done? —“Ain’t the Reapin’ Ever Done,” Eddie Noack (1972)

It Keeps Right On a-Hurtin’ #25 - Ring-a-Ding-Ding IV

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Read IKROAH on Archive of Our Own

Notes / Original Pencils / Transcript:

Notes:

At long last! As I've mentioned a few times, this issue got...delayed because I spent 2023 getting divorced, falling in love again, going outside, touching grass, laughing, playing, et cetera. But even if you toss all that aside this issue would still have been a doozy because I've been wanting to try an issue in this artstyle, and with a much large page size, for...well, for over a year now, ha. The thumbnails for this issue are nearly a whole year old!

Usually I have a lot of fun commentary about how a script changes over the course of working on an issue, or how the production panned out, but the making of this issue has been stretched over such a long time that I can't even begin to really describe it. Lemme just show you the original pencils so we can get out of here and move onto the next one, which will hopefully take far less than the time it takes to carry a pregnancy to term.

Oh, actually, there is one thing! If you spotted this happy couple on the first page, then check out @memepipboy's comics too.

Also, here's Vulpes in the dead Yamcha pose.

Which is also about how I feel after going on a bender of productivity last week to get the whole issue colored before it slipped away again.

Original Pencils:

Transcript:

EXT. NEW VEGAS STRIP. A small plaza outside the casinos is flushed with lights and people, all coming and going, even at such a late hour. The crowd is monitored by the Strip's POLICE SECURITRONS. Two people are exiting a casino: ROSE OF SHARON CASSIDY, and

MESSENGER: AGNES SANDS!

AGNES: Oh God, I'm--

AGNES: --wait, are you NCR?

The MESSENGER that has called out AGNES' name is a surly and middle-aged man in uniform.

MESSENGER: Correct, ma'am. I'm a messenger.

AGNES: Courier, huh.

CASS: Hell do you want, boot boy? We're busy.

MESSENGER: Your presence is requested at the embassy on the south side of the Strip.

The exchange has caught the eye of a BYSTANDER READING A NEWSPAPER.

AGNES: You said requested, as opposed to, um, required?

MESSENGER: Yes. I'll be blunt with you, Sands: the incident near Gecko and your subsequent desertion have made you a fugitive of military police since 2269. I'm sure you know that--but this is not an arrest.

MESSENGER: This isn't even about your personal case, necessarily. It's only from chance reports at the Mojave Outpost and Boulder City that intelligence was made aware of your presence here at all. The NCR merely wants to let you know that you--as well as your companion--are persons of interest to us in two of our other open investigations: the Legion raid on Nipton, and recent terrorist attacks on merchants in the area such as Crimson Caravan.*

CAPTION: *Various events of IKROAH #7-16. -Lou.

MESSENGER: There's also some other matters, which are classified.

CASS, at AGNES' side, listens intently. Then she glares at AGNES, who is grimacing but avoiding her eye contact.

MESSENGER: Now, our intelligence officers only want to speak to you, not arrest you. So there should be no cause for alarm or any worry on your part. It's your choice to come to us willingly--and on your own time. But--

AGNES sweats nervously.

MESSENGER: My orders are to make this next part very clear. This is merely the current state of our interest in you and your companion. If your presence does become required, as opposed to merely requested, by the NCR--and it very well may--

MESSENGER: --consider this a nice, friendly notice. I'm here because the NCR knows where you are. And the NCR wanted you to know that, because it wants you to keep it in mind as you mull over whether--and when--you might be feeling co-operative. That is all. We'll be in touch, Miss Sands.

The MESSENGER departs. The BYSTANDER READING A NEWSPAPER observed the entire exchange. The moment that the MESSENGER is gone, he speaks:

BYSTANDER: Ahh...I must admit, it does make me glad when people discuss my work.

AGNES: W-what?

CASS: Pardon?

BYSTANDER: And it was fortunate, as it turns out, that you were spared that night in Nipton.

AGNES: Oh...oh no--

CASS: --YOU?

BYSTANDER: Very fortunate indeed--

The BYSTANDER grins.

BYSTANDER: --that you were spared from the burning tires, spared from the teeth of the dogs, spared even from the cross and stake--all of this, there, was the finest work yet of VULPES INCULTA--against the profligates of the west, and for the glory and the might of CAESAR'S LEGION.*

CAPTION:*IKROAH #9. -Lou.

AGNES and CASS are transfixed where they stand, taken aback by the reveal. CASS scowls while AGNES squirms with terror. She remembers:

The raging fires and the horror show of NIPTON. Crucified bodies and dogs to eat the corpses.

VULPES: During our talk in Nipton, I admittedly became quite curious about you, Agnes. You had intrigued me for some reason, and I wanted to know what it was. Only later did I finally place it.

Her hands up in front of her face, a futile barrier between herself and three men. Benny. His gun, pointed at her, shining in the light from the moon and the lantern.

VULPES: A tabloid story from the news on the radio. A courier shot in the head near Goodsprings Cemetery.

The SECURITRON with the cowboy face, VICTOR, carried her out of her grave. Or so she was told.

VULPES: --who miraculously returned from the grave. It was you.

There were three men. Two besides Benny. She found them later, one was dead and the other had two more with him.

VULPES: It was also you, as I would later discover...who slaughtered that pack of Great Khans in Boulder City. Clearly no ordinary courier.

VULPES: Why, even now, you assassinate the leader of the Chairmen in his own casino--in his own bedroom, no less. Very impressive.

AGNES: But how did you--

VULPES: Know? From one saboteur to another, I do have to commend you, Agnes. You're quite covert...for someone who had no reason to realize that she was already being watched, that is. Just as we have been watching Benny, the dearly departed.

VULPES grins wider.

VULPES: My network of frumentarii have detected something of a conspiracy in Vegas...something about a certain piece of platinum, I hear. Which reminds me--the mail has gotten so unreliable lately, don't you think?

AGNES is visibly panicked as VULPES continues.

VULPES: The NCR'S interest in you is not misplaced, Agnes Sands, given your recent exploits.

CASS is suddenly going down the casino steps--

VULPES: But I doubt that they are as quite aware of the bigger picture as--

--and raising her fist, and--

VULPES: the--

--punching VULPES in the face.

SFX: WHAM!

VULPES is flung to the ground, his nose bloodied. One of his teeth have been knocked clean from his mouth. He stares upward, in disbelief, up at the furious woman who's laid him out.

VULPES: Ah...yes. Rose of Sharon Cassidy. I've--

PTOOEY. A wad of spit splats against VULPES' cheek. CASS points a finger at him as he shuffles back onto his feet.

CASS: Get my name out of your mouth right now. I'm not afraid of you. You just piss me off. And unless you get lost I'll deck you so hard that you forget my name. Hopefully how to form complete sentences, too.

CASS: I think we've heard enough, you goddamn dogfucker, and whatever you're selling, we don't fucking want any.

VULPES: Ah...so no less impudent than last time, despite...well.

VULPES wipes the blood from his face with the back of his hand, muttering from behind his palm in LATIN.

VULPES: Sī cognōscere nōn vīs canis senex tum nēquam praeter futuendum eris.

VULPES reaches his bloody hand toward his dislodged hat.

VULPES: Agnes--the Legion has a particular use for you, a use which comes with certain courtesies that are not extended to your companion.

VULPES: ...she would do well to keep this in mind.

VULPES returns his hat to his head. AGNES has rejoined CASS at the base of the steps.

AGNES: "Use?" What use? I don't have anything--I mean, I'm not--whatever you--whatever the Legion wants with me, I don't know anything. About this, or about Benny. If you want the chip, I--

VULPES: Agnes, Agnes--you're a terrible liar. Or else just terribly naive.

VULPES turns to leave.

VULPES: If the NCR is interested in you, and they are, then seizing you for ourselves is certainly useful enough on its own. But truthfully, this isn't about the NCR. The Legion is interested in you--I am interested in you--because Mr. House is interested in you. You and that chip.

AGNES: Mr. House!? But I...no, no, I just thought the chip--

VULPES: Vale, courier. And vale, Rose of Sharon Cassidy. And be safe in your travels, if you can help it--you never know when somebody might be watching.

As VULPES departs, a SECURITRON approaches behind AGNES and CASS, casting a shadow over the both of them.

[kindlespark]

ALSO what are your thoughts on kipperlily and lucy and the idea of lucy being the one RG to refuse coming back and ALL of. that knot of Newly Unearthed Facts. bc i canNOT stop thinking about the Implications and Facets. TM

OKAY SO. my running theory is that everyone BUT LUCY dies in the mountains of chaos (perhaps her ancestral connection to ruvina saves her, perhaps her friends just know you always protect the healer). either way the rest of them all come back worshipping ankarna, and try to convince lucy to join them, which lucy agrees with but then changes her mind! which is why she hands in but then withdraws her cleric paperwork. and so Someone kills her to force her hand and make her choose.

and at first i was like, oh, this Someone is jace, because yolanda died in the same place and she was going to see him to ask about lucy. bad news for my sympathetic jace theory! but then i reread the transcripts and remembered that brennan specifies that the means of death for lucy was Multiple Assailants, while yolanda's was the same force damage as the crime scene at loam farm. which fucking implies that the rat grinders did actually kill lucy and now i can't stop thinking about it.

like, when lucy said no, were they driven into a rage? did they kill her convinced that she would make the same choice they did? at what point did they realise she wasn't coming back? did lucy reject ankarna because she saw how the rage had twisted her friends and she knew she couldn't join them? when did the "what have we done?" revelation hit, and who was the last to leave the body? (im answering that one it was kipperlilly. to me <3)

anyway yeah i have been plagued by this theory and idk if it's true or not but i've been rotating it in my mind bc it's very fun and miserable

[squishranger]

AT LAST SEVERAL MONTHS OF BRAINROT COME TO FRUITION

here's a carrd for all tptmers who want to meet some Fun New Girls That I Made (it defaults you to the first girl, but the button leading to the second one is at the bottom... and at the bottom of the second girl's page... is a button leading back to the first! careful not to get stuck in an infinite loop.)

EDIT: OH GOD ITS SO UGLY ON MOBILE. USE YOUR COMPUTER PLEASE

the full designs, transcripts and screenshots of the carrd for mobile users, and other such ramblings are under the cut

REVERIE GIRL , she/they/cloud/dream/star/whatever suits your fancy, wants the world to spin both faster and slower than it does... if she had the gumption, they'd have everything she wanted by now, but they tend to only have the energy to lay in bed and think about lost times. she's a nostalgiacore girlie and she has little else to go off of in terms of defining who she is. (star's... basically just a self-insert.)

PAGE:

JOURNAL TRANSCRIPT: ohhhh my god what am i doing . i cant keep living like this. like its not even living im not even doing anything every morning i wake up and i regret i regret waking up i dont want to wake up but how am i ever supposed to live if i cant do anything other than stare at the ceiling and pretend things are better than they are ??? at this point i'd rather give up. live in my daydream forever with my friends and my cat whos been dead for like two years now i think but i wanna go back to her i wanna go somewhere else. i havent given a shit about reality in fucking forever im so done with it but some part of me wants to live. maybe even get out of my fucking parents house. get a job learn to drive be a person or something. but i'm so stuck. i just hurt all the time. i dont know what part of my heart to follow. i dont know what to do. i can't just go back to bed this time i can't…. i can't…. i always tell myself that and then i do. i need to make up my mind.

CARRIER GIRL, she/he/they/it, has been abandoned by everyone who ever loved her. though she lives a generally stable life, it's a distinctly lonely one, and it isn't enough for her. there is something yet to be fulfilled. some kind of desire. she only wants to feel as loved as she once was.

PAGE:

JOURNAL TRANSCRIPT: hello blog!! i got myself an iced matcha latte from my favorite local cafe today! it was really good. but it like, it got me thinking… will any little treat i buy myself ever make me feel better about how freakin' lonely i am?? man, i dunno why i started thinking like that… i get matcha all the dang time. so often they're starting to feel more like breadcrumbs. i think it'd taste like something again if i shared it with someone. i think i peaked in high school. that was when i had friends and before all that awful stuff happened and yeah maybe i wasn't doing great but i had people. and then they all went to college or got married or had babies or something and… augh!! i can't be bitter!! they're living their best life… just… without me. and now every time i reach out i get brushed off, pushed away… i want someone who won't leave me. will i ever have someone who won't leave me? maybe i won't. maybe i should just accept that. everyone always leaves. i've been nothing but kind to people, i really think that, so what am I doing wrong? ohh boy this one really spiraled outta control didn't it… sorry ;-; i'm just gonna save it and go think for a bittt….

THIS WAS A VERY FUN EXERCISE for character design and branching out with my art style (i did in fact draw both of these characters.. it's probably pretty obvious but i tried to make them look like they were sorta drawn in different styles like the canon girls bc it's cool i think. if that makes sense JSDFJSDF) and coming up with metaphors, i actually had so many other girl ideas that got scrapped for one reason or another, and only two came out unscathed... there may be more... in the future... as for songs, i don't know if that'll ever happen. i have most of the tools, aside from voice synth, so i'd probably just use my own voice. which might be CRINGEEE (ironic statement) so we'll see how that goes!! ^^' don't... don't count on it...

[hazbinshusk]

Heyo, I've been curious for a bit because you're really consistent with the fanfictions you write (which I'm so thankful for, it leaves a bunch for me to catch up on my days off) buuuut how long does it usually take you to write? How does the planning process go? And any advice you'd give to writers?

You've been doing lovely lately with the kinktober fics, your words are nom nomable 💜

hello, my love!

honestly, the idea that I'm in anyway consistent now is still mind-blowing to me lol. I think right now, it's just a combination of the hyperfixation still going strong, having people who actually interact with me about my writing which gives me motivation to write, and not having the energy to go anywhere on weekends lol.

in truth, I just had two weeks off work, and I wrote about 15 of the fics for kinktober in those two weeks. It's definitely going to be slowing down again soon now that I'm back at work and tired all the time because of it.

it depends on the fic - I tend to write smut faster (not really sure why), so if I get stuck on the dialogue in the lead up, then a fic could take me longer. Once I start the smut, it's much quicker. I'm also a massive procrastinator, even on stuff I enjoy, so while a fic might only take me a few hours all together, that could be spread over a few days. I get the bulk of the writing done on my weekends - during the kinktober writing there were some days where I could knock out three or four fics in a day because the motivation was flowing. Other days I'll sit in front of the laptop and I can barely get a few sentences out.

In terms of planning, I don't really have big plans. There's a husk fic I'm cooking at the moment that in my head has some legs, but the 'plan' is just a tab on the sticky note app with a list of kinks that serve as what each chapter would be lol. I have one saved away for another fandom that has, like every chapter planned out as a dot point, some with dialogue ideas, and transcripts from the original text to work in where needed (and I haven't touched it in months).

For the oneshots, sometimes I'll have a few dot points of stuff I know I want to have in there, but it's mostly just write and see what comes out - if I'm trying to fit a mould I've made, sometimes my asshole of a brain decides it won't be able to fit thoughts into that mould and I end up screwing it up for myself.

In terms of advice, the best I can say is write for yourself? the minute writing begins to feel like a chore, I lose the spark. It's why I'm trying to be really open about requests not having any time frame - my last fandom I overloaded myself with requests and it ended up feeling more like work than fun. Pairing that with the fact that I would write requests for people and they wouldn't reblog or like or let me know if they even liked it... it sucked. But now, it's for me, most of all. I love all of you so much for enjoying it and taking time to do things like this and I wouldn't trade it for the world, but I need to keep in mind that I am, first and foremost, writing for me.

maybe not the most practical or helpful piece of advice, but its what came to mind :)

[oacest]

Noel on XFM Radio, July 2000

Tim Lovejoy: So you're back now. Fantastically, for us, you're back with the band doing these gigs, you've done a couple already...

Noel Gallagher: Three.

TL: Three... going well?

NG: Brilliant. The first one, in Dublin, the weather wasn't too hot an' that, it was a bit windy and a bit dull, but I thought it went down really well, and the first night at Bolton was just one of them gigs... I'd never thought we'd experience things like that again, it was fantastic. The second night was just as good but we all had hangovers from the first night, but it was good, though, So I've got a feeling about these gigs at Wembley, I think they're going to be brilliant and I think the Reading ones, the festival ones, are going to be great as well. Everyone's surprisingly relaxed, I think going onstage at Bolton the other night...usually you can sense any nerves within the band but everyone's was very, very relaxed, it was good.

TL: So have you officially made up with Liam yet?

NG: No, I haven't made up with him., We're being civilised and polite for the sake of the people who've been kind enough to buy tickets, but as for making up... no.

TL: But you're brothers, so...

NG: Yeah, so I don't have to make up with him. but still, y'know. Let's put it this way, I love him, but I don't like him anymore.

TL: Ok, the gigs are obviously getting great reviews - are you getting a buzz out it?

NG: I always have got a buzz off the gigs...the hour-and-a-half onstage is fantastic. You get odd nights where things are not right and you wish you could be somewhere else, but generally I have to say that the hour-and-a-half onstage is the best part...the only part that makes it worthwhile. Y'know, I hate travelling, I can't stand it, it gets on my nerves. I don't see why you should have to get up at six in the morning to get a flight at four in the afternoon, know what I mean, because you'll sit in a fucking lounge somewhere for like, nine hours, and then sit on a plane for ten hours. It's like, will somebody in the University of London Science invent time travel? Get on with it or something man, it's a pain in the arse. And the interviews...[in German accent] 'Ah, so Mr Gallagher, I think your band are not as successful as you once were' 'Really? How did you work tat one out, Fritz?' 'I have your sales figures in front of me.' 'Really. Sorry about that.'

TL: Is it more fun with the new line-up?

NG: Listen - to be honest with you, the only reason I went back is for the new line-up. I do love Gem and Andy, they're top geezers and they shouldn't have been allowed to see what went on that night in Barcelona because it was like... it was not nice. And I suppose it reaffirmed all their fears about what it was actually like. So they shouldn't have been allowed to see that. But y'know we're not robots, we're human beings. But, y'know, they are two of the best guys I've ever played with. And if two guys ever deserved to be in a band that has the stature of Oasis then it's those two. They're super cool.

TL: They're really good musicians are they?

NG: They're shit musicians they're just super cool geezers. No, they're fantastic. I mean, Andy Bell is a great bass player but as good as he is on the bass he's five times the guitarist that anyone else is in the band. And Gem's just the spirit, man.

(full transcript here)

[voltage-zenith]

The Voltage Zenith Pt. 2

Pt 1. / Pt 2. (Here) / Pt 3.

//this is a transcript of a discord roleplay with @centrifugal-apotheosis and @that-one-poison-trainer (who is just another muse of mine)

Viper: purple

TopMan: Orange

Other: black

transcript begins under the cut:

TopMan begins to regain his senses, and notices that he is missing most of his body, rendered to just a head. His memories feel, fuzzy. But from what he understands, this place feels like home. A familiar man stands in front of him

"finally, everything seems to be working correctly. You can see me right? Optics working correctly?"

"Huh? Wuz goin' on?"

this is not what comes out of his mouth, despite him saying it

"great, I must admit your proportions have been giving me a lot of trouble" 

he lets out the kind of warm chuckle you would expect a man his age to make

"allow me to introduce myself, I'm Dr. Light, your creator. And you are my DLN. 004, ElecMan."

"So this is Dr. Light... the dude who made at least half of me..."

just as Dr. Light begins to hold up what looks like a mirror, time begins to feel like it's fast forwarding. You're in the same room, but everything looks slightly different, and you notice how you now have a partially constructed body. Dr. Light is tinkering away at your half built leg

"Huh!? The frag?! Oh wait... I've seen enough movies to know where this is going"

Dr. Light soberly looks up at you

"ElecMan, you know Rock and Roll didn't mean any harm in what they said"

"Ohhhhhhh scrap"

out of simple curiosity, he looks around the room, looking for any orange parts or the number 21

Dr. Light stops what he's working on and walks over to the other side of the room

"Actually ElecMan, I have a little surprise for you" 

from a box, he pulls out ElecMan's your iconic mask

"Oh wait now I gotta"

TopMan looks around for any reflective surface trying to get a glimpse before he puts it on

Dr. Light snaps the mask onto your face

"it uses special magnets that won't interfere with your circuits, and I based it on those characters from the old Japanese VHS tapes I gave you" 

he pulls out a mirror and you finally see your reflection. You excitedly blink, and admire your face gear from various angles (also you're unhooded so short black hair reveal ig)

"Dangit, I couldn't see"

Dr. Light looks taken aback by what you just said

"Scrap! Uh... How wondrous! Truly befitting of one as shockingly glamorous as I!"

"no no ElecMan, you didn't say anything wrong. And please, no need to thank me, I hope that this mask will bring out the strong and confident robot master I know you are"

"????????? Oh wait this is like those movies"

"ElecMan" he takes your hand "when I am done building you, my first line of Robot masters will be completed, and when that happens, history as we know it may change. Humans and robots will become more integrated into each other's lives than ever before. You and your fellow robot masters will help so many people, by assisting them in dangerous tasks. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm really excited to be finishing up the most advanced robot in the line, truly my crowing jewel of a creation. Though, that title may be a bit too self centred, don't you think?"

"Oh you just know he ran that into the ground"

you feel time start to fast forward again. You find yourself in an arena with a trap door on the bottom. Your mind feels clouded, with lies of a brighter tomorrow

"Bluey's gonna be along any second now"

and he does, climbing up a ladder through the now open trap door

"I don't have any reason to fight you, ElecMan! Come on, let's go home..."

Listens to hear what Elec - he - says, hoping to catch some juicy tidbit to mess with him over

since you're just dying to know, you respond with "you'll never blast through my heart with that kind of attitude. It's really too bad, but I'm going to finish you off at lightning speed..."

"HA-"

the fight begins, and it's the most fun you've ever had in your life. Your powerful electric hocks almost put an end to MegaMan, but your brother pulls through and starts to gain the upper hand

"! Scissors... hm..."

you feel one of the rolling cutters stab you through the chest. Honestly you should feel upset, but yet you still feel excited and overjoyed. Almost as if this was your first time being alive. As it all starts to fade to black, time moves forwards once more. You are now in your room, lying on one of those sofa beds. The room is small, it only really contains the bed, a charging pod, a drawer, and an old TV on top. And yet, it feels like home

TopMan sits back, just watchin, thinking of ways to prank Elec with scissors

you hear something from outside your door, it sounds like Dr. Light talking to someone, most likely on the phone

"please don't worry, I promise you I have upgraded their cyber security snd reverted them to- no Miss please understand, making sure this mistake doesn't repeat itself is Light Lab's highest priority, my Robot Masters are completely safe and- yes yes I know, however..."

the conversation peters off as he walks past your door, seemingly unaware of what you heard

"Awwwwwwwww scrap"

you notice an old electrical guitar and go to inspect it. It clearly old, it's covered in scratches and the paint is chipped. There's writing on the side in worn out marker, it says "Thomas L"

TopMan's foot starts tapping on reflex

your hands reach towards the strings, but once you go to strum the guitar time fast forwards again. You're still in your room, except now it's night and everything is much more decorated. Band posters cover the walls, note books and books on amusement park engineering line the shelves, and there's now a few more much newer guitars in your room

"Guess the mix's staying underground"

your door opens. On the other side of it is a small, sheepish looking Robot Master dressed in a blue parka

"Ice Man I think"

"well, it's just, can I recharge with you tonight?"

In another day, Top would've made fun of Elec for this. He's grown though - he's had his own "family" of a sort to take care of (or at least, a good friend who he could see this happening with)

Ice Man sits down beside you, and stares off into space

"it just, doesn't feel real. This shouldn't be happening, not to GutsMan of all robots"

"Oh... I know what this is... yikes"

you and Ice Man quietly hug one another, a rare display of brotherly sympathy from the two

time fast forwards once more. You have now left your room and find yourself in a familiar location, one where you used to work. You are in your power plant, working on some electrical equipment

"This is... Well I guess I could see what's so good abou where the dude used to work"

you feel tired, as your hands diligently work on the equipment. Behind you, you overhear a conversation between two coworkers.

"hey y'know what I just heard? That robot from the observatory was stolen by Wily" "Astro Man?" "Yah, that one" "how did you hear about this?" "It's all over the news. Apparently there's another Wily incident going on" "shouldn't we be in lockdown if that's the case?" "Apparently it's happening on an island somewhere, so they don't see a need to secure the city, y'know" "yah, is MegaMan on the case?" "Yah, why'd you ask" "well to be honest, he's kinda growing on me. I know the whole debate around him can get really controversial but I think he's just a necessary countermeasure for these Robot based incidents that are too dangerous for the Police. Mega Man's out there being a real hero, making sure we don't get taken over by some cartoonish evil. And honestly, my kid's fascination with him has also grown on me, he likes to stick is hand in a toilet paper tube and pretend to be him" "that's adorable, and yah it's hard to disagree with what you said. MegaMan's probably one of the strongest robots on the market"

"..."

time fast forwards once more. You now find yourself locked in what looks to be a storage closet. You feel, awful. Your symptoms could be compared to that of a human cold. You feel congested, feverish, and strangest of all, you feel absolutely manic

"Roboenza... Tbh I'm glad I was in the museum for this one"

the moment you hear a voice at the door you pounce towards it, robotic hands clawing at the door begging for escape. The woman on the other side is saying something about not knowing what to do, but it doesn't matter. You are a caged animal that needs to escape

"Ghhhh" TopMan tries to stop himself on insinct, but this is just a memory

you feel time move again. As the world moves around you, you start to feel it all. You feel joy, rage, and sadness. You experience good times and bad times. And then, time stops again

you're back in Light Labs standing in front of Dr. Light. You feel panicked, and Dr. Light looks remorseful

 "I'm sorry ElecMan but there's nothing I can do to change the law. Your expiration date has arrived and the authorities aren't willing to listen to reason."

"..."

 TopMan tries to think of something to pull his mind away

"Wait Roll predates Elec, and Roll being date taken was what drove Dr. Light to near insanity and obsession with making a fully sentient robot, so maybe X is in process by this point"

instead, you clasp your hands in Dr. Light's and continue to plead and beg

"ElecMan, I can't hold them back any longer. I'm so sorry" 

two men walk through the door

"Dr. Light, we're sorry for the delay but ElecMan needs to be taken away now" 

they start walking towards you

"I think I know what's next, and I'm not keen on seeing his ugly mug"

the two grab you by the arms as you struggle to escape

"ElecMan, I-" 

before Dr. Light has a chance to finish what he was saying, electric discharge shot off from your body in an attempt to escape. The unintentional Lightning attack hits Dr. Light, and knocks him to the ground

"And the Doc went on to finish X anyway... "

"Wait! Was Elec the reason Dr. Light wanted to test X's morals for 30 years?!"

Error: Fatal exception to protocol ASMV: 1 detected:

"he attacked Dr. Light! Shut him down immediately!" 

before you have the chance to say anything, everything goes black

Before you have the chance to say anything, everything goes black

"TopMan! You okay?!"