#this is also kinda my own aro approach i need things to make sense

[yume-fanfare]

a thing with torikasa is that they as they are could never make it work by themselves. like in ship content it's not uncommon for it to focus on the characters directly involved alone but those two are Not getting anywhere on their own without any outside push and it's key for them to go on their own separate self-discovery journeys with their own friends before they get to understand each other

[thedreadvampy]

Hey Ruth! I noticed you've talked in the past about asexuality in quite a negative manner. As an ace-person (who has received backlash for it) I was wondering: do you still uphold these opinions?

Hey! I have in the past said I don’t really...like people popping up in my ask box asking me My Opinion On Asexuality, but I do appreciate you asking me as someone I kinda know and with your face turned on, so I’m gonna aim to answer in the macro. Though I mean it depends on what the opinions...are? I have had a lot of opinions over the time I’ve had this blog and I don’t necessarily know what all of them were or which ones have concerned you. I can give you a top-level view of how I see my views, though (however, since I have been largely holding off on answering this kind of ask for Literally A Year Now this is less an answer to your specific question and more an answer to the last year of asks)

(also if I get dogpiled in my inbox for Having Bad Asexuality Opinions which I do every time I talk about asexuality regardless of what I actually say then. my phone is broken I won’t know about it :) so I feel untouchable)

I don’t think I hold a negative opinion of asexuality as an identity (I say I don’t think bc we all have blind spots)? I have a lot of very important people in my life who are asexual, aromantic or aroace and. I mean it feels pretty condescending to say ~uwu it’s valid~ bc like. ace and aro people don’t really need my input to validate their identity. but a) it seems like a pretty accurate way to describe their experience and b) I know a lot of them have had a really huge boost from finding a name and community to fit their experience and have found that really helpful, and I’ve seen that make a huge difference in people’s lives and I’m really happy to watch my friends come to understand themselves and feel comfortable and accepted in a part of themselves they had felt really alienated or stigmatised by. In a broader sense, I think there’s huge value in decentralising romance and sex in our assumptions of What Human Happiness Means and for some people that’s not the most important thing, and for some it’s just not interesting. 

So like. I find it difficult to really express these opinions in any meaningful way because my opinion on asexuals and aromantics is much like my opinion on trans people or idk like people of colour. like very obviously those people exist and very obviously those people don’t deserve to be marginalised or stigmatised but it would feel. weird and performative to just make a post saying like “Asexuality Is Good And Valid, I Am Pro It” bc again like. who needs my permission or cares about my opinion. it’s not a Good Thing To Do it’s just. a thing you are that shouldn’t be treated as a bad thing.

however. and I suspect that this is what you’re referring to. while I love and appreciate ace and aro people, I think building communities and active support for ace and aro people is valuable and needed and, as above, I think Asexuality Is Good And Valid I Am Pro It, I do take some issue with elements of how discussions around asexuality are framed online (pretty much only online, I really haven’t run into the kind of black-and-white thinking in in-person queer spaces) 

and I also. think there are some issues with people extrapolating their experience of their own sexuality onto the world in a way which. I’m just going to say a lot of the time when I talk about The Ace Discourse in a negative way it’s around people assuming that the world is split into a binary between ace and allo people, or assuming that only aspec people experience a nuanced or complex or fluid relationship to their sexuality while pigeonholing allosexuality into a pretty flat image of sex and romance focus. and I have always felt like this does a massive disservice not just to people who don’t identify with aspec labels, but also to the general hope that we could work against the expectation that there’s a Standard Amount To Value Sex/Romance - I think that the assumption that there are aspec people and then Everyone Else Has The Normal Type and Level of Attraction just. reinforces the idea that there’s a “Normal” type and level of attraction. which is ultimately pretty self-defeating and also just. observably untrue. 

and this division of the world into Aspec People and Allo People also has some other weird knockon effects - I don’t think there’s anything intrinsically wrong with identities like gray ace or demi or other aspec labels beyond asexual and aromantic, but I do think that the way those labels are used is often. unhelpful. and they’re defined in such personal, subjective ways that you get weirdnesses sometimes like people Diagnosing Each Other With Demisexual or people saying ‘you can’t talk about this experience you share because it’s an Aspec Experience’ and again. there isn’t a concrete material experience there because the whole experience of romantic and sexual attraction, what that feels like and how sharply divisible it is is very, very personal and subjective. and everyone has different experiences of those and will name those experiences differently.

there’s also. historically a minority of Big Ace Blogs that kind of sneer at allosexuality or who would hijack posts about other issues to derail them to asexuality. but I don’t think they were ever representative of the community as a whole and I certainly think that inasmuch as those blogs remain around they’re a legacy of the Long-Ago (and a lot of them are trolls imo)

but there is. an issue I take that does seem to be more currently live which is the question of allo privilege. I think personally that framing all allosexuals/alloromantics as privileged over all aspec people on the basis of feeling sexual/romantic attraction is provably untrue in a world where people, particularly queer people, are actively oppressed and marginalised for expressing non-normative sexuality. it isn’t that I don’t think asexuality and aromanticism isn’t marginalised and stigmatised, because it visibly is, but it seems pretty reductive to boil it down to a binary yes/no privilege when both sexualisation and desexualisation are so actively tied into other forms of marginalisation (this is what I was trying to express in the argument about Martin a while ago - sex and sexuality are so often disincentivised for fat, queer, disabled and neuroatypical people that it doesn’t...feel like a reclamation that those tend to be the characters that get fanonised as ace where slim, straight, able-bodied and neurotypical characters aren’t. like it’s more complex than a binary privilege equation; sex and romance are incentivised and stigmatised differently at the intersection of oppressions and. for example. in a world where gay conversion therapy and religious oppression of gay and SGA people is so often focused specifically on celibacy and on punishing the act of sexual attraction, I don’t think it’s a reasonable framing to say that a gay allosexual man has privilege over an aroace man on the basis of his attraction) 

so those are like. things I would consider myself to feel actively negative about in online discourse (and again. in online discourse. not in how I relate to asexuality or aromanticism or aspec identities in general but in the framing and approaches people take towards discussing it in a very specific bubble).

but also. um. the main criticism I have of the online discourse culture of asexuality is that there are things I don’t have experience of that I have mentioned, when asked, that I don’t personally understand the meaning of but I don’t need to understand them to appreciate that they’re useful/meaningful to others. things like 

the difference between QPRs, asexual romantic relationships and close friendships

how you know the difference between romantic attraction and friendship

the distinction between sexual attraction and a desire to have sex with someone for another reason

and I hope I’ve generally been clear that this is. honest lack of understanding and not condemnation. I personally have a very muddled sense of attraction and often have difficulty identifying the specifics of any of my own emotional needs so like. it’s a closed book for me at the moment, how you would identify the fine distinctions between types of want when I’m still at step 1: identify That You Want Something Of Some Sort, Eventually, Through Trial And Error. but I think I’ve always been explicit that this isn’t a value judgement it’s just a gap in my own knowledge and yet. every single time I’ve said anything other than enthusiastic “yes I understand this and I love it and it’s good and valid” (and again. I have not gone out of my way to talk about it I have mostly only mentioned it because people keep asking me to talk about it) I have got a massive rush of anger and accusations of aphobia and “just shut up if you don’t know what you’re talking about but also answer my 30 questions to prove you think Correct Things about asexuality” and. I understand that this comes from a place of really unpleasant and aggressive backlash towards the ace community so it’s a sensitivity with a lot of people but like. it doesn’t seem proportional.

also I feel like ever since I hit like 700 followers my Tumblr life has been a constant cycle of people asking me Are You An Ace Inclusionist Are You An Exclus Are You An Aphobe Justify Your Opinion On Asexuality which. eventually yeah I’ve got pretty snippy about the whole thing. but you know. fuck it I’m just gonna lay it out and if you or anyone else is uncomfortable following me based on those opinions then I’m sorry to hear that and I will be sad to see you not want to engage with me any more but I also think that’s absolutely your prerogative. however I will not be taking questions at this time (and not just bc my phone’s broken) - demands for an argument about this Are Going To Be Ignored so if you want to go then go.

so like the big question I reckon is Do You Think Asexuality Is Queer and

yes. no. maybe. I don’t understand the question what does it mean for an identity to be queer? 

there are spaces and conversations where any form of aromanticism or asexuality makes sense as a relevant identity. talking about hegemonic expectations of normative romance. building community. combatting the idea that heterosexual missionary married sex between a man and a woman is the only rewarding or valuable form of relationship or intimacy.

there are spaces where I think heterosexual aros/heteromantic cis aces don’t. have a more meaningful or direct experience of the issues than allo cishets. because while being aro or ace or aspec has a direct impact on those people on a personal and relational level, disclosure is largely a choice, and the world at large sees them as straight. they don’t have the lived experience of being visibly nonconforming that SGA people and aroace people do. they may still be queer but there’s a lot of conversations where they bring a lot of the baggage of being Straight People (because. even if you’re ace or aro you can still be straight in your romantic or sexual attraction and if your relationships are all outwardly straight then you don’t necessarily have an intimate personal understanding of being marginalised from mainstream society by dint of your sexuality). this doesn’t make you Not Queer in the same way that being a bi person who’s only ever been in m/f relationships is still queer, but in both cases a) you don’t magically have a personal experience of societal oppression through the transitive properties of Being Queer and b) it’s really obnoxious to talk as if you’re The Most Oppressed when other people are trying to have a conversation about their lived experience of societal oppression. and they’re within their rights to say ‘we’re talking about the experience of being marginalised for same gender/non-heterosexual attraction and you’re straight, could you butt out?’)

(I very much object to the assumption coming from a lot of exclus that “cishet ace” is a term that can reasonably be applied to non-orientated aroace people though. het is not a default it really extremely doesn’t make sense to treat people who feel no attraction as Straight By Default. when I were a lad I feel like we mostly understood “asexual” to mean that identity - non-orientated aroace - and while I think it’s obvious that a lot of people do find value in using a more split-model because. well. some people are both gay/straight/bi and aro/ace, and it’s good that language reflects that. but I do think it’s left a gap in the language to simply refer to non-attracted people. this isn’t a criticism of anything in particular - there’s a constant balancing act in language between specificity and adaptability and sometimes a gain for one is a loss for the other)

some queer conversations and spaces just. aren’t built with aces in mind. and that isn’t a flaw. some spaces aren’t built with men in mind, but that doesn’t mean men can’t be queer. some conversations are about Black experiences of queerness but that doesn’t mean non-Black people can’t be queer. not all queer spaces will focus on ace needs but that doesn’t mean asexuality isn’t queer, or that queerness is opposed to aceness - sex, sexuality, romance and dating are all really important things to a lot of queer people, especially those whose sexuality and romantic relationships are often stigmatised or violently suppressed in wider society. there should be gay bars, hookup apps, gay and trans friendly sex education, making out at Pride, leather parades and topless dyke marches and porn made by and for queer people, romantic representation in media of young and old gay, bi and trans couples kissing and snuggling and getting married and saying sloppy romantic things. and there should be non-sexual queer spaces, there should be discussions around queerness that don’t suppose that a monogamous romantic relationship is what everyone’s fighting for, sex ed should be ace inclusive, etc. 

I think the whole question of inclusionism vs exclusionism is based on a weird underlying assumption that If An Identity Is Queer All Queer Spaces Should Directly Cater To That. like. aspec identities can be queer and it can be totally reasonable for there to be queer spaces that revolve around being sexual and romantic and there can be conversations it’s not appropriate or productive to centre asexuality and aspec experiences in and we can recognise that not all queer people do prioritise or have any interest in sex or romance. in the same way that there’s value in centring binary trans experiences sometimes and nonbinary experiences at other times but both of those conversations should recognise that neither binary or nonbinary gender identity is a Universal Queer Experience.

anyway that one probably isn’t one of the opinions you were asking about but I have been wanting to find a way to express it for a while so you’re getting it: the Ruth Thedreadvampy Inclusionism Take.

uh. it’s 1:30 on a work night so I have been typing too long. if there was an opinion you were specifically thinking of that I haven’t mentioned, chuck me another ask specifically pointing to what you want me to clarify my thinking on. sometimes I gotta be honest I’ve just been kind of careless in my framing (thinking of the Martin Fucks debacle where I spent ages insisting I didn’t say Martin couldn’t be aroace then read back like two days later and realised that I had said “he’s not aroace” bc I had written the post at 2am without proofreading and had meant to say “unless you think he’s aroace”) so I May Well Not Stand By Some Posts or might Stand By Them With Clarification

[lousimusician]

Sex Pollen Part 1

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Summary: You and Peter decide to break into your dad's lab when Peter comes across an interesting plant.

A/N: This is me aggressively ignoring the events of endgame by writing something with Peter. Also I think that movie fixed my writers block because I've been writing nonstop this whole week.

Warning: Language, smuttyish(kinda)

[Peter and the Reader are both 18]

------------------------------------

Peter quietly observed you while you were hunched over your desk in the corner of your room, playing around with a piece of technology you stole from your dad.

Peter was currently on the ceiling, looking down at you. He was incredibly bored and as much as he loved to just admire you while you concentrated, he couldn't stand the silence that came with it.

He watched as you quietly got frustrated and leaned back in your chair, head back and eyes closed. Peter took this as his que and slowly lowered himself, upside down from the ceiling by a web. He stopped once his face was leveled to yours. He watched as you took in calming breaths, and the little furrow in your eyebrows form, telling him that you were thinking.

To say he was completely and utterly crazy for you was an understatement. Peter was head over heels for you and was pretty sure he'd die for you if it came down to it.

He felt his cheeks redden as he realized he may have been gazing for a little too long and realizing how creepy that was, decided to break the silence by saying, "I'm bored."

Your eyes shot open as you sat up quickly, banging your head against Peter's. "Oww." You whined. You pushed your chair back, putting some distance between the two of you so you could see him better. "Peter! Don't scare me like that."

Peter smiled sheepishly, rubbing the spot on his forehead that you bumped. "Sorry but, I'm bored." He said again.

You shook your head, fighting the smile that tugged on your lips. "Then go do something."

"Like what?"

"I dunno, be Spider-Man. I'm sure there's someone that needs to be saved." You said, maneuvering around him, to pick up the tech you were playing with. "How do you do that?" You said, referencing his position, "Doesn't all the blood rush to your head?"

"No." He said simply. "I don't wanna go out. I want to hang out with you."

"Aren't you literally doing that right now though." You smirked. As you admired the wiring you were staring at. 

"Ha ha ha." He said sarcastically. "I mean, I want to do something fun."

You looked into his puppy dog eyes and immediately found yourself giving in. "Fine," you sighed. "How 'bout a movie?"

"I dunno, we always watch movies."

"Okay then do you wanna go out or something?"

"No." He said shaking his head. "Whenever we go out together you get too much attention."

You paused. "...Well, my dad has been working on a new suit for you, if you wanna check it out."

"Wait really!?" Peter suddenly exclaimed, jumping up, which caused him to fall down on the ground, making you laugh loudly. "Shut up." He grumbled.

"Anyway, how does sneaking into Tony Stark's lab sound?"

"It sounds great, let's go!" He said, excitedly jumping up and grabbing your wrist, pulling you with him.

~~~~~~

While the two of you were scheming on how to break in. Bruce Banner had currently been the only occupant of the lab.

He stood with a gas mask on his face as he studied a plant in front of him.

A week ago, the Avengers had gone on a mission after a few aliens landed on earth and claimed they wanted to "Take over the planet". It had been pathetic really, the aliens were wiped out in half an hour.

But while on this mission, after Hulk had finished "smashing" the last of the aliens, he had reverted back to himself. Finding that Hulk had taken him onto one of the alien ships.

Bruce looked around at the strange tech, while he stood up, already heading for the exit. That was until something had caught his eye and started to draw him in like a moth to a flame. 

It had been a plant.

It stood tall, about seven feet in height. It was absolutley beautiful. It had pink flowers that mimicked the shape of a heart and it was quite literally glowing.

Bruce touched the plant, his fingers coming back covered in a pink dust, which he naturally assumed was the flowers pollen. He leaned in, realizing it smelled familiar.

But the strangest thing happened after.

His heart started to practically beat out of his chest and before he knew it Hulk had come back.

Once he had calmed down and turned back into himself an idea struck him. He quickly plucked a flower off the plant and stuck it in a box that he found in the corner of the ship.

Not a single Avenger questioned why he now carried a box with him on the ride home.

And now a week later, Bruce stood in front of the plant which had grown two feet after it had been replanted, running tests on what exactly it could be.

"Ah Banner." Thor's booming voice sounded, as he stepped into the lab. "I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to-" Thor stopped, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he looked at the plant that sat in front of Bruce. "Why do you have that plant?" He asked genuinely curious.

Bruce looked up at Thor, surprise written all over his face. "Wait, you know what this is?" He said, voice muffled by the mask. He stepped around the table to approach Thor.

"Of course." Thor said, mildly offended. "Where did you get this?"

"Found it after the mission last Friday. It made me turn into Hulk, so I figured it could be useful if Hulk ever chickens out on me again." Bruce quickly explained. "What kind of plant is it?"

"It's called a Sex Pollen Plant." Thor said, stepping around Bruce to approach the plant. "It belongs to that specific race of aliens we fought. The plant helps the aliens to breed since they find it very difficult on their own."

Bruce scrunched his face in shock. "What does it do?"

"The pollen arouses the alien that breathes in the pollen- that may be why you turned into the Hulk, it raised your heart rate. I'm immune to it of course."

"Wait- I brought a sex plant into the compound." Bruce asked in shock, utterly horrified of his own judgement on the situation.

"Yes and I suggest you get rid of it. I have heard the affects of the pollen on a human could be very severe."

"H-how do I get rid of it?"

"Hm, I suppose I'll do it then. How have you been able to contain it?"

"I had this box I took from the alien ship, but it's too big now, so I've been putting it in one of the quarantine rooms just in case."

"Alright, come with me. I may have something that can help dispose of it safely." 

"Okay, let me just lock up the lab." Bruce said.

The two of them stepped out of the room and Bruce pulled off his gas mask once the lab was locked.

Thor and Bruce headed towards the elevator, walking through the living room where the two spotted you and Peter sprawled out on the couches. They shot you two a greeting before leaving.

Peter's head snapped towards you. "I can't believe sending in Thor actually worked. Do you think either of them know what we're planning?"

You smiled, shaking your head. "No, I was too vague when I told Thor to get him out of the lab, and I love the guy but he isn't exactly the smartest person I've met. Now let's go, I don't know how long we've got." You said, trailing ahead of him.

You easily unlocked the lab, Peter following behind you.

As usual the lab was filled with tables with piles upon piles of weird tech, ranging from projects your dad or Bruce had been working on to discarded scraps that should've been tossed or moved out.

You immediately got distracted from the task at hand when you spotted one of your father's latest projects, "Alright, go find your suit." You muttered, walking towards the table.

Peter looked around the lab, trying to find some sign of the new suit he'd hopefully be getting soon. But to be honest, it was a bit of a wreck. With two scientsist's working there, the lab got a bit messy. So instead of Peter being able to locate the suit, which actually was placed nicely in the back of the room, his eye was drawn towards something else.

And it was beautiful, and definitely something he's never seen before.

Off to the side was a plant that had stood at two feet. Pink and glowing. And it was as if he couldn't control his movements while he walked towards the plant.

Now standing in front of it, his finger traced the petals of the glowing flowers, making his index finger come back with a pink dust on it, which he could only assume was its pollen.

He leaned in, breathing in it's scent.

He expected a normal flowery smell but, instead it smelled like you.

He pulled away for a second, and narrowed his eyes at the plant in confusion. But only for a few seconds, before being compelled to smell it once again.

Peter's eyes fell closed as he let the scent dance around him. There was no other way to describe it other than it being completely you.

Sweet and calming. It smelled like lavender and jasmine, with a hint of peaches, your perfume, your body wash, your shampoo, and that very specific scent that belonged to you and only you.

Peter was completely lost in it, breathing in deeply, treating it as if it was a drug he could never get enough of. The different layers of your scent completely engulfing him, making him feel warm and content.

His chest blossomed with warmth that spread down all the way to the tips of his fingers and toes and to the very crown of his head, that made his whole body feel like it was buzzing.

But he snapped out of the trance he was in when he felt a rush of blood travelling south. He tensed up, quickly turning around to see if you were still distracted.

He turned back around and backed away from the plant. And that was when he had noticed his spider senses had been going haywire. The hair on his arms standing up straight as goose bumps rose.

And whatever the plant had did to him was getting worse.

He felt warm, too warm. Like he'd start to melt soon.  

He leaned on the table behind him, panting. A flood of arousal coursing through him. 

From the end of the lab you heard Peter's panting breaths, causing you to look up and see his hunched over form leaning on the table behind him, sliding onto the ground.

"Peter?" You asked in concern. "You okay?"

He groaned at the sound of your voice, his eyes shut tight, trying to gain control of himself. But it wasn't working, inappropriate thoughts flooded his mind immediately wandering to what you would sound like letting out high pitched whines and moans of his name with that same voice, while he bent you over one of the tables and pounded into you hard.

He moaned at the thought, your eyes widening in shock at the sound not quite sure if he was in pain.... or if it was something else.

You stared at what was in front of him on the table, and knew whatever it was was the cause of Peter's state right now.

You quickly ran over, crouching down next to him.

You gasped, "Oh my God." His face was bright red as a thin layer of sweat collected on his skin. He was out of breath, eyes screwed tightly shut. But what caused your own face to turn red was the very prominent buldge in his pants. You cleared your throat. "Peter can you hear me?"

He slowly opened his eyes but immediately wished he hadn't, his pupils blown wide at the sight of you. Eyes trailing over every bit of exposed skin on your body, just picturing what it would feel like pressed against his own.

"(Y-Y/N)." He stuttered out a whine. "I-I-...S-something's...happening."

"Oh, shit." You cursed.

Peter wanted nothing more in that moment to pull you down into a kiss and pin you to the floor, grinding his hips into yours, but he still had enough mind to know how wrong that would be.

"Okay, alright, okay. This is what I'm gonna do." You said frantically. "I need to find Bruce-"

"No... d-don't go.." He didn't know why but he knew that if you left, it would only get worse. That even just your presence made him feel a little better and that he might just go insane if you left him. "Please... s-stay.."

It was too overwhelming, instead of his senses being dialled to 11 it felt like they were at a fucking 20 now. Hyperaware of you and only you, every movement, every breath, the beating of your heart, everything.

"What? B-but Pete-"

A gasp cut you off. Your head snapped towards the doorway, where Thor and Bruce stood.

"Thor, the kids got in." Bruce said in terror.

"B-Bruce!" You yelled in relief. "I- I don't know what's wrong with him- he just sorta collapsed, and he's acting really strange."

"Oh no, oh no, oh no, this isn't good." Bruce said rushing over to Peter. "Thor how do we fix this."

Thor looked down at him in pity, standing next to Bruce who was crouching on the opposite side of where you were. "The only known cure for someone who has been contaminated by a sex pollen plant is, well..sex."

Your head snapped towards Thor. "W-What?" You shrieked. "Is that what that thing is?" You started yelling angrily.

"Yes, and it must be with whoever's scent he smelled on the plant."

"Oh for fuck's sake, who brought a sex plant into the tower!"

"F-fuck, (Y/N)." Peter moaned loudly, eyes training on your figure. Getting more aroused at just how fucking hot you looked when you were mad. 

"Ah," Thor said, coming to a conclusion. "And it would seem that it would be you Lady (Y/N)."

You cleared your throat, opting to ignore Thor's last comment. "Okay what are we gonna do?" 

Thor looked at you in surprise, "Lady (Y/N) do you not know what sex entail-"

"Shut up Thor. I know how it works- but there's gotta be another way to help him." You gulped, looking down at him.

Bruce sighed, "I think- I think I'm gonna have to tell your dad. I'm pretty sure this isn't something I can fix in an hour by myself."

You huffed. "Fine, but we can't leave him here. Let's take him to his room."

You reached out and grabbed his arm, but at the loud moan he made due to the skin to skin contact you let go.

"I probably should have mentioned." Thor started. "That you shouldn't touch him."

"W-what? Why?"

"(Y/N) Please." Peter whined, trying to grab your wrist but you quickly pulled it out of reach.

You looked up at Thor. "It'll make him," Thor paused searching for the right word. "Eager? And you don't want that if you plan on looking for another cure- see he's trying to touch you now." 

Thor was right, just that small bit of skin to skin contact seemed to have sent Peter into a frenzy. Your head snapped down at him, as you realized he was just about to put his hand up your skirt. You quickly grabbed his hand, holding it in a tight grip so he'd stop getting handsy. Your other hand quickly grabbing his free one too as it came nearer.

"Fine, then Thor take him to his room."

"N-no." Peter stuttered. "Please, I-I need you." He said as Thor picked him up, making you let go of the hold on his hands. "No! Let go!" He yelled at Thor. "(Y/N)!"

Thor headed for the door while Peter began struggling violently in his hold.

Bruce shook his head. "Tony is not gonna like this."

You scoffed. "Y' think?"

------------------------------------

Permanent Taglist:

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P.P. Taglist:

@cosmicparkerr

[firefly-in-darkness]

Epiphany.

Characters: Y/N & Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Bucky Barnes, Bruce Banner (mentioned).

Prompt: “How much of that did you hear” - shown in bold.

Summary: Things begin to change when you share a secret with Natasha.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Pining, general foolishness, fluff

Beta: The always lovely, Stacey - @princessmisery666​ // all mistakes are my own.

A/N: This is for @morsmordre-writes​ 1k Writing Challenge - words kinda just tumbled out in a hot mess and I made some sense of them, I think... hope you enjoy it anyways!

Firefly’s Library & Masterlist

How you ended up in this position, you would never know but here you were, being interrogated by one of the world’s deadliest assassins. You watched Natasha Romanoff, her face was neutral, but you knew she was an expert at hiding her emotions.

Your hands gripped onto the table, “I’m not going to say anything else on the matter.”

Natasha’s face lit up as her laugh sang through the kitchen, “I’ll make you a coffee?”

Bribery, really?! You scoffed, eyes squinting at the assassin, you wouldn’t let her break you. But, coffee… She has the quality stuff too. 

You rolled your eyes and returned to your breakfast, “Fine. Coffee first...”

   Natasha sat opposite you; leg curled under the other as she pushed the mug across. You greedily accepted, cupping it with both hands and, with eyes closed, inhaling the aroma of your favourite drink. Perfect.

“So?” Natasha raised her eyebrow and smirked.

You placed the mug down, your finger tracing the rim of it, “Since I joined the Avengers.”

“That’s three years ago Y/N!” Natasha raised her arms in disbelief, her coffee almost spilling over, “Why haven’t you done anything about it?”

You stood up, taking your cereal bowl and rinsing it in the sink, “Because of who he is.”

Natasha’s body turned, following your movement, “That doesn’t matter to him and you know that.”

You dried the bowl and threw the towel on the side before approaching her, “I can’t just walk up to him and go ‘I’ve fancied you since we met on the 15th of November 2017.’”

“Why not?” Nat eyed you as she sipped her drink.

“Because… I’m me and he’s, well, he’s Captain America.” You drained the coffee, ignoring the burn, before pointing at your friend. “This is to go nowhere, and we’ll never talk about it again.”

   Natasha watched you leave the room and spoke once you were out of sight, “You shouldn’t listen in on other people’s conversations.”

Steve walked around the corner, his cheeks stained pink and his hand rubbing the back of his neck before dropping into the chair you had previously occupied.

“So how much of that did you hear and what are you going to do about it?” Nat raised her brow at him as a small smile twitched at his lips.

Since you had told Natasha about your not-so-little crush on Steve, you couldn’t help but wonder if she had spilt the beans about the conversation you had. He was everywhere; sitting next to you in the briefing room, setting you up in a team with him and Bucky on missions, and his gym schedule had synced with yours. You knew you could trust Nat but your mind began spiralling with worry for being outed and worse, rejected.

It also didn’t help that Fury had requested for Steve to complete your hand to hand combat. When Natasha updated you on that, you had let out a terrifying growl and stormed out of the gym. As you stormed down the glass-panelled corridor, you saw Nat put her arm out to stop Steve from following you.

Yeah, he knows. 

  You threw yourself onto the bed, face down, and upon hearing footsteps, you bolted up and drew your Glock 17 in the direction of the bathroom. Out stepped Bucky, in just a towel.

“What are you doing in my room?” Your hand covered your eyes.

“Erm, it’s my room doll.” Bucky chuckled.

You opened your eyes and peered through the gaps in your fingers, it was definitely Bucky’s room.  “Sorry Buck,” You groaned and hauled yourself off the bed.

“S’all good, you okay?” He perched at the end of the bed, running his fingers through his wet hair.

“No, yes, I mean, no. Urgh.” You opened his bedroom door, “I’m okay, just gotta get out of my head.”

Bucky smirked, “You’re not the only one. If you ever wanna talk, I’ll be there. Just don’t point a gun at me and knock first.”

You walked out the door chuckling and collided into Steve, “Oh my.”

He held your arms and his brow furrowed, “Y/N- what- erm, sorry.”

“Steve, I-” You couldn’t face him right now and rushed past him to your own room, the correct one this time.

Heat radiated between your bodies; your breaths caught in your throat as you gasped for air. Your ponytail in disarray and sweat gliding across your skin as arms tangled around each other’s waists, necks. Legs locked around one another, hips grinding. With a groan, you were thrown onto your back. 

Nat straddled your waist, pinning your arms above your head. “Have you spoken to Steve?” 

She tilted her head as you tried to escape her grip, ignoring her question. “Y/N, you’re getting sloppy and you need to train with him or just get laid. Steve is optional for the latter.”

You groaned and rolled your hips, Nat flopping to the side with a smirk on her face. You rolled back and starfished on the workout mat. 

Nat raised up on her side, leaning her cheek on her palm, her smile softening as she reached over to turn your face to her, “Fury won’t be impressed if you haven’t completed the combat hours with Steve. You can get through it and if you can’t I’m here if you want to talk.”

A silent conversation was held between you, and with a nod, you knew what you had to do. 

  You sprung up from the floor and looked over to the punch bags. True to schedule, Steve was sat on a bench, wrapping his hands. And for once he was alone and you seized the opportunity.

“Steve I-” You dropped to the floor to kneel beside him.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Steve’s face was filled with concern.

“I need to get laid. NO! Oh my god, no.” You wanted the ground to swallow you whole. “Nat’s got into my head, ignore me.”

You waved him off, unable to look at him again, instead opting for a scuff mark on the otherwise immaculate floor. Steve’s face was flushed but he continued paying attention to wrapping his hands.

“I don’t follow sweetheart?” Steve sat beside you.

“Well, Fury thinks I need to improve my hand to hand combat, suggesting you were the one to train me.” You shrugged, fiddling with your laces, trying not to think of the way he called you sweetheart. You turned to face him, “Only if you want to?”

“Of course, I’m all yours.” His hand gripped your shoulder before patting and stood up. “Thursday, at nine-thirty?”

He offered you a hand, but you pulled yourself off the ground without his help, knowing that if you felt your skin on his, you’d probably combust. “Sounds good to me.”

“And the other part?” He laughed.

Your eyes went wide, mouth agape and before you could say anything, Nat’s voice travelled across from where you had left her, “She doesn’t seem up for dating just anyone, but she does need to get laid.”

“Thanks for sharing that with the world, Nat.” You shook your head and walked towards her, feeling your back burning from Steve’s gaze.

“You’re welcome, best of seven?” She pursed her lips at you.

You walked into the kitchen, refilling the popcorn bowl. You could tell it was movie night by the empty tubs of ice cream and bags of chips scattered across the counter, and amongst the Avengers sitting on the sofa or bean bags, wrapped in blankets or snuggled up to someone. 

As always, you had a bean bag to yourself but when you returned, Nat had stolen your spot, leaving a space between Steve and Clint. You nearly threw the caramel sauce at her but restrained and passed it to Wanda, making sure to give Nat a little kick to her feet with your eyes squinting at her.

The popcorn rested in between your crossed legs, absentmindedly eating as you were too engrossed in the film. As the tension and music increased, your body tensed, waiting for the jump scare that you knew would be coming soon. And nothing… you relaxed back into the cushions, sighing at the release before a loud thud shook the walls as Bucky burst through the door.

The almost empty bowl of popcorn landed on the floor and you grabbed at the hand resting in Steve’s lap. The clatter of the bowl and Wanda’s exclamation of being showered in popcorn had everyone looking in your direction and laughing.

Bucky chuckled and plonked down in his spot on the floor, “Oh Y/N, you should have seen your face!”

“Whatever Buck.” You muttered.

You felt warmth blossoming from your hand and realised that you were still holding Steve’s hand, or rather he was holding yours. Steve’s eyes and attention were on the film, yet the caress of his thumb against the back of your hand gave you an inkling into his awareness of the situation. Your cheeks heated and the air felt thick in your throat, you jumped out of your seat and sprinted out of the room, not hearing Bucky shout his apology.

From the edge of the swimming pool, you caught a glimpse of Steve with Sharon Carter walking towards the changing rooms. Your heart pounded against your chest, aching at the way they held each other’s gaze and the way Steve’s face lit up as they laughed.

“He doesn’t like her like that if that’s what you’re wondering.” Nat pulled her hair into a braid and sank down into the water.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You slid down, the water sliding over your skin protectively, “they’d make a cute couple.”

“Cut the crap Y/N,” Nat stated and took off to the other side of the pool.

You stared after her in shock, not realising she’d done a lap when you finally registered her words, “It’s not going to happen, Nat, the more I think about it, the harder it will be to just be friends with him.”

“Just be friends with who?” Steve’s voice carried across the water from behind you.

Turning around, you saw Steve duck under the water and up in front of you. His hair flattened, water cascading down his face and torso. The sight alone was enough to spark arousal. You pinched your thigh under the water, composing yourself as he wiped a hand down his face.

Nat glided over, “Y/N met someone, but she thinks he only wants to be friends.”

“Oh.” Steve looked at his hands snaking through the water, your concentration lost to them and the rippling water.

“Well, if you ask him out, then he’d be an idiot to say no.” Sharon added as she lowered her immaculately toned and curvaceous body onto the edge and dangled her feet into the pool, “Isn’t that right Steve?”

You looked back at Steve who was still entranced by the movement of water over his fingers, “Steve?”

“Yeah, if you like him, go for it.”

Steve’s smile didn’t reach his eyes and the tension in the pool began to rise, all you wanted to do was to reach out to him. To ask if everything was okay, to see where his thoughts were and whether, just maybe, he didn’t like the idea of you dating someone else.

“What about the charity gala in a couple of weeks?” Sharon suggested, “Only if you feel like bringing him to meet this crazy bunch.”

You laughed and shook your head, glancing back to Steve “We shall see. Enough about my dating life, I need to swim.”

  Thoughts and feelings became clearer with each dive and turn in the water, as you dropped to its lowest depth and paced from one side to the other. You could feel the earlier tension disappear with each stroke against the surface, losing yourself in the motion of the water surrounding you. Resurfacing once more, you saw Nat leaving with Sharon, Steve sitting at the edge of the pool, waving you over.

You hooked onto the edge, legs treading the water, “Yes Captain?”

Steve smiled, “Would-you-like-to-go-to-the-gala-with-me?”

“Excuse me?” You whispered.

His eyes scrunched closed and he rubbed his neck, “Wou-would you like to go to the gala with me?”

“We are already going to the gala together Steve.”

“I mean as my date.”

You couldn’t look at him, eyes searching the water for the words or a way to escape. You had always wanted him to ask you, had always wondered if he had felt the same way, yet, now that his words were floating around the pool, uncertainty had crept in and taken hold.

“Are you doing this because of what happened earlier? I don’t need your pity, Steve.” You climbed out of the water and grabbed your towel from the bench.

Steve followed, “No, Y/N, of course not.”

You raised your eyebrow, “Then Nat told you about my crush then?”

“Wh-what? I don’t know anything about that.” Steve’s cheeks flushed and his eye twitched.

“You’re a poor liar Rogers.” You stalked to the changing rooms, leaving a very confused Steve behind.

You scanned the ballroom, looking for Natasha and found her cosying up to Bruce Banner at the bar. Of course, smiling you wandered toward them. As you crossed the room, the harmony of orchestral tones and hushed conversations filled your senses, blissfully unaware of the super soldier watching your every move from the opposite side.

Bruce greeted you before leaving you alone with Nat who handed you a glass of champagne, you tentatively sipped the bubbly drink and adjusted the neckline of your navy dress. 

Nat grabbed your hand, “Stop fiddling, you look great.”

You looked down at yourself, the navy floor-length gown had a plunging neckline and Nat had already supplied more than enough tape to keep you secure but you were worried that it wouldn’t be long before you flashed someone. You took another sip and scanned the room, hoping to spot Steve, he always looked heartbreakingly handsome in a tuxedo.

“He’s in the courtyard,” Nat nodded towards the floor to ceiling stained glass doors.

You spluttered around the drink and frowned at her.

“Go and speak to him, he’s driving us mad.” 

“Driving us mad? Why?” You were confused and looked back towards the garden, spotting the familiar silhouette leaning against the railings.

“Sam. Bucky. Even Tony is fed up with you and Steve pining for each other.” Nat waved around the room and sipped her martini, watching your reaction.

“We are not pining for each other. He’s not interested in me.” You placed your clutch bag on the bar and sat next to her.

“Y/N, for an Avenger, you’re being really dumb, and we have Wilson and Barnes on our team.” Nat scoffed, “Think about it, each moment with Steve, really think about it and then tell me that Steve isn’t pining for you.”

With Nat’s words in your head, thoughts began to spiral; when he saw you storm out the gym, maybe he wasn’t embarrassed for you, but he cared. And then he saw you leaving Bucky’s room, there was a scowl on his face - he was jealous! Butterflies began to fill your tummy; the warmth of him holding your hand and not pulling away, the way his tender touch filled you with happiness. Your eyes widened as you thought of the moment Steve asked you to be his date to the gala and the way you had shut him down.

“Oh shit!” You exclaimed, jumping up from your seat, “Thank you, Nat.”

You pressed an airy kiss to her cheek so not to smudge your lipstick and darted through the huddle of guests to reach Steve. It was time, you were ready to confess your feelings to him, you were finally ready to make that jump. 

  A smile stretched across your face, and you opened the door and glided down the stone steps that were flanked with exquisite blooms. Everything seemed brighter, more brilliant since the moment you realised that Steve, surely, felt the same way.

The air was knocked out of your lungs as you reached the bottom step and saw Sharon sat beside Steve at the edge of the fountain, water glittering behind them. They turned around to see you, a small smile on Sharon’s lips and the surprise in Steve’s eyes at your arrival. You inhaled the air, refilling your lungs as you walked towards them.

“Hi, I- erm, just wanted some fresh air.” you lied through your teeth, wincing at how your voice did not sound at all certain of the words falling from your lips, “Some time away from it all.”

“We can go if you like?” Sharon gestured back to the party.

“No! Honestly, it’s okay. I’m probably going to leave soon anyway.” You gave them a small smile and sat the opposite side, letting the sound of the water take over your mind and help reel in your emotions.

“Steve?” You heard Sharon’s voice further away.

“I’ll be just a minute,” Steve replied, a lot closer to you now.

  You didn’t hear Sharon’s response and you weren’t even aware if she had left or not. Looking to where Steve stood, hands in his pockets, head tilted to the side, waiting for your response. With only the courage to give him a small smile, he undid his jacket and sat beside you. 

Now that he was so close, you couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the sandalwood cologne and the way he teased his bottom lip with his teeth. Get a grip, you chastised and focused on the contents of your bag, looking for something that wasn’t in there.

“Y/N look at me,” Steve spoke softly, pulling your attention to him in an instant, a gentle smile on his lips. “Are we okay? When you walked out here, your whole demeanour changed. Have I offended you in some way?”

“God, no, Steve, I’m sorry,” You turned to face him, unconsciously reaching for his hands and holding them tightly, dropping your head and whispering, “I-I’ve, well, it’s been a difficult couple of months.”

“You can talk to me. I know I’m Captain America, but I am also Steve Rogers”. His fingertips softly lifted your chin to look at him, “and I’m your friend. At least I thought I was.”

“You are Steve, that’s the problem. I see you as more than a friend and that’s why I’ve been so awkward with you lately.” Your cheeks flushed with your confession. “I’m sorry I don’t want to make things awkward between us but I can’t keep avoiding it anymore.” You rambled, “I still want to be friends with you, but if you want to keep your distance then I-”

Steve’s lips pressed to yours, silencing your words. His palm cupped your cheek and the other hand pulled at your waist, bringing you closer to him, your train of thought was completely lost to his touch. 

You kissed Steve back, wrapping your arms around his neck before pulling away to catch your breath. Your heart raced and soared with the intimacy; his hand stroking up and down your ribs, a kiss to the tip of your nose, your foreheads resting against one another. 

“No more distance, please.”

At the sound of Steve’s cracked words, you pulled back to look at him, cupping his cheeks in your hands, “Never again. Sorry, it took so long.”

“We’re here now.” Steve kissed your forehead and stood up, offering his arm, “Would you like to join me for a dance?”

With a huge grin, you joined him and linked your arms together, “I thought you’d never ask.”

[invaderdoom78]

New Moon Night part 2

“So what’s with all of the guns on the wall in the basement?” Bella asked as they sat down to eat the pizza Peter had ordered for them

“Oh, uh, I hunt vampires”

“Really?” Bella asked

“For a few years now. It’s actually how I met Aro”

“So” Bella started taking a bite of her pizza “is it hard killing vampires?”

“It varies from vampire to vampire,” Peter said “but if I get them in the heart right away with my steak gun that normally takes them out”

“Really?” Bella asked raising an eyebrow “Edward told me that vampires can only be killed by dismemberment and setting their bodies on fire”

“That’s true for some of them but if you use something that’s got witch's magic on it then it’ll kill them regardless of their, I guess, species. I could teach you how to shoot a gun if you want”

“...Yes,” Bella said, well aware that Victoria was still a potential threat to her life “uh, where should we go shoot?”

“There’s a spot out in the desert,” Peter said

“Is that legal?” Bella asked

“No idea,” Peter said taking a drink from his soda “but I’m not the only one who uses the spot”

“Ok,” Bella said ignoring the image of Edward that appeared, telling her not to do it

“You wanna pick out the gun?”

“Sure!”

With their lunch finished the two made their way back down to the basement so Bella could pick out her gun. Now Peter didn’t have the most impressive collection of firearms, a couple of shotguns, a revolver, his steak gun, and a wrangler and because of the small selection he was fully expecting Bella to choose the shotgun, especially since it was the best choice when dealing with vampires, but that wasn’t what she picked.

“Where are you two going?” Aro asked eyeing Peter as he put his shotgun and the wrangler Bella had picked out into their carrying cases

“Out to the desert to shoot some guns,” Peter said

“Did you put on sunscreen?” Aro asked already knowing the answer

“No” Peter scoffed

“Do you remember what happened last time?”

Peter did, he’d taken the twins out to shoot as well and when they got back home almost his entire face was burnt and the twins kept insisting on poking at it until it started peeling.

“It’ll be fine”

“No,” Aro said firmly

“...Fine” Peter gave in after a brief staredown with the vampire, walking over to an end table grabbing two bottles of sunscreen out of the drawer “here Bella” he handed her the smaller one

“Thanks”

Walking over to the hall mirror Bella stood in front of it as she put on the sunscreen, watching as Aro tried to help Peter put the sunscreen on his face while the hunter insisted that he could do it himself.

“There,” Peter asked once Aro was done “you happy now?”

“Very,” Aro said smiling

Turning around Bella held out the bottle of sunscreen she’d been holding and was about to set it onto the coffee table, but Aro stopped her.

“Hold on a minute, dear,” Aro said reaching out to wipe in the small amount of sunscreen she’d missed on her cheek, rubbing it in the rest of the way with a gentleness that she never expected from someone like him

Once they reached the spot in the desert Peter realized that he didn’t have any protective wear for Bella to use, so they had to improvise with a pair of Aro’s big sunglasses to protect her eyes as the vampire covered her ears with his hands and just like he did with Jane, Peter showed the young woman how to hold the Wrangler and where to position her feet before she shot at the five soda cans he’d set up; managing to nick all of them on the side.

“You’re a very good shot, dear,” Aro said resting his hand on her shoulders as Peter took the rest of them out with his shotgun

“My dad used to teach me how to shoot his gun a long time ago, but my mom found out and told him to stop”

“Did he teach you anything else?” Aro asked

“You mean like self-defense?” Bella asked setting down her gun “not really”

“Then allow me to show you,” Aro said

The vampire showed her the basics of self-defense poses, having talked Peter into being the practice dummy.

“Good” Aro praised as Bella delivered an elbow strike to Peters jaw, having enough self-control to stop herself from actually hitting her new uncle

Despite how quickly Bella was picking up on the techniques, it was quickly becoming apparent that training out in the middle of the desert probably wasn’t the best idea as it didn’t take much longer after that for Peter and Bella to become coated in sweat, so much so that it had almost completely soaked through their clothing. It was at this point that Peter decided that they should go home and get changed into something that wasn’t going to stick to their skin, both Peter and Bella hopping into the shower when they got home. Stepping out of the bathroom Peter dried his hair off with a towel as Aro sat on the edge of the bed running a brush through his long hair.

“It seems like Bella has settled in rather well,” Aro said

“Yeah,” Peter said tossing the towel at the hamper by his closet door

“I, overheard the conversation you and Bella had earlier,” Aro said as Peter crawled onto their bed

“I figured you did,” Peter said crawling up behind Aro, peppering the vampire's shoulder and the side of his neck with kisses

“We have laws that have been put into place solely to keep the existence of our kind a secret and it clearly states that vampires are not supposed to let themselves be known to humans”

“So should I be worried?

“If you hadn’t befriended Elizabeth then yes. Being what she is, the people that are associated with her and her family have immunity to our laws. Lest we risk facing a half-demon's wrath”

“Is Bella in danger then?” Peter asked resting his chin on the vampire's shoulder

“That depends,” Aro said taking hold of Peters wrists wrapping his human's arms around his waist leaning back into the embrace

“On what?”

“Whether or not the Cullens have any enemies”

“What about your lot?”

“Well if one of my guards discovers her she will be brought back to Volterra for a trial to determine whether or not she will be turned or executed” he felt Peter tense up behind him “don’t worry darling if it ever does come to that I will make sure that her life is spared and that she has a home in the castle”

“It's a good thing she wants to be turned then”  

“You know, you really are so much more caring than you want people to believe” Aro hummed “it's rather sweet actually; you treating Jane and Alec as if they were your own, helping Amy through getting the polluted blood out of her, reassuring your friend Charley that she would be safe. It’s a good thing I was able to snatch you up when I did”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, darling” Aro said nuzzling Peters cheek “just thinking”

Aro untangled himself from Peter's arms and got off the bed.

“Where’re you going?” Peter asked reaching out for the vampire

“The day is still young,” Aro said softly, placing a kiss on Peter's forehead knowing what he wanted

Flopping back onto the bed Peter watched Aro walk out of the room. Groaning Peter forced himself to get off the bed and get dressed before going out to the living room where he saw Bella and Aro sitting on the couch together, the vampire brushing her semi-dry hair. Sitting in front of them was the chest he kept all of his movies in, Bella looking through his collection.

“You have any preferences?” Peter asked taking a seat on the couch with them

“I like Stephen King stuff”

“I have Stephen King, but Lizzy has The Shining and all the IT movies so I’d need to get them from her” Peter said pulling out his phone so he could ask her for the movies

“Oh” Bella started but was interrupted by the front door opening and Lizzy stepping through, holding the DVDs “you don…”

“Here,” Lizzy said tossing the cases to Peter 

“Thanks, bitch” Peter said, catching them noticing how Lizzy and Bella were kinda staring at each other “that’s Bella. Bella this is Lizzy”

“Hi,” Bella said

“What’re the kids doing tomorrow?” Peter asked

“I think they’re all off,” Lizzy said, still looking at Bella like she was trying to piece some things together “why?”

“I’m trying to help Bella find a hobby”

“Cool,” Lizzy said giving Aro a two-finger salute before she left

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Aro said standing up

“Oh come on,” Peter said, grabbing the vampire's sleeve “at least watch The Shining or Misery with us. I’m sure you’ll like them”

“Alright” Aro sighed

“I’ll make some popcorn then,” Peter said standing up walking back to the kitchen, waiting for the popcorn to pop when Lizzy texted him

                                           Demon Bitch (Lizzy)

So has Bella shown any interest in vampires?

                                                        Yeah she said she wants to be turned

                                              And Aro told me he cant see her thoughts

That makes sense. 

One of her great grandparents was either a vampire themselves or one of their parents was a vampire so that’s why she can use her mental ability as a human and why she’s so keen on being turned. The vampire part of her DNA is calling out because of how close she’s become to, who I’m assuming are the Cullens as they’re the only coven I’m aware of that live up in that area of the US. It’ll probably also make the transition and blood lust easier.

                                                                    You gotta be fucking kidding me

No

                               The fuck am I supposed to do with that information

Just thought I’d let you know.

🍑💨

“Ok,” Peter said, slipping the phone back into his pocket “Lizzy’s sending me farts again!”

“You are the one that decided to befriend her” Aro called back from the couch

“You say that like it’s my fault”

“Would you rather her come and do it in the house?”

“No,” Peter said walking back into the living room with popcorn

Aro only stuck around long enough to watch Misery as while he did agree that it was a good adaptation and movie he still preferred the books. It was about midnight when Aro noticed that Peter hadn’t come back to bed yet, so he got up and walked out to the living room, spotting  Peter and Bella both asleep on the couch, Peter slumped back into it, head tilted back, Bella slumped against his side.

“Oh” Aro chuckled quietly approaching the piece of furniture

Picking up the remote Aro turned off the TV before gently lifting Bella off of the couch making sure not to wake either as he moved the young woman to her temporary room, tucking her under the covers before back out and doing the same for Peter. The next morning Bella woke up more confused than Peter had, as he was used to it at this point, wondering how she’d ended up in bed when she remembered falling asleep on the couch. Kicking off the blankets Bella changed into her clothes and went out into the kitchen, looking through the fridge to see if she could find anything that she could make for breakfast when Peter came out of his room wearing his sleep pants.

“Morning” Peter yawned getting to work making himself some coffee

“Morning” Bella said, grabbing a carton of eggs “where’s Aro?”

“Taking a shower,” Peter said watching as Bella started cooking some eggs for them 

Taking a seat at the counter Peter pulled out his phone, scrolling through it as he waited for the eggs to finish cooking when Aro came out of the bedroom, fully dressed and looking like he was ready to go traveling.

“Where’re you going?” Peter asked, eyeing the vampire 

“I have to go back to Italy” Aro sighed grabbing his cloak out of the closet by the door

“For how long?”

“Hopefully not long” Aro said placing one hand on his humans cheek placing a kiss on the other before walking over to Bella “it was wonderful meeting you” he hugged her “take care and maybe we’ll meet again”

“Maybe” Bella said, feeling a bit saddened that the vampire was leaving so early as despite Edwards warnings about him she had grown to enjoy the vampires company

Giving Peter one more kiss Aro stepped out of the house so he could head off for Italy.

“So do you wanna go over to Lizzy’s today?” Peter asked pouring himself another cup of coffee 

“Sure” Bella said as Peter grabbed a key out of the bowl by the front door 

Aro called several hours after Bella had left.

“Hey” Peter said, answering his phone as he slouched on the couch watching his T.V. “how was the flight?”

“Fine” Aro sighed “though I don’t see why I was needed. This was a simple matter. How is Bella doing?”

“She’s out with Michael and the others” 

“Oh good” Aro said, the smile obvious in his voice, “is she getting along with them?”

“Don’t know. I haven’t heard from her since she left” Peter said noticing Bella as she stepped into the house out of the corner of his eye “hey I gotta go Bella just came back”

“Alright, good bye, darling”

“Bye” Peter said, looking at the fading cut on Bella’s cheek “the hell happened?”

“I killed a ghoul and then Eleanor made us dinner. Here” Bella said handing Peter a tupperware container “she told me to give this to you” 

“Cool” Peter said taking the container 

“What have you been doing?” Alice demanded storming into the living room from the basement door “why haven’t I been able to see you and then all of a sudden I see you being attacked by that thing and now Edward thinks you’re dead!” 

“Who the fuck are you and how the fuck did you get into my house!” Peter demanded, mentally going over where he’d hidden the guns on this level of the house, moving so that he was between Bella and Alice 

“Alice?” Bella asked confused “what are you doing here?”

“Edwards going to the Volturi!” Alice said, eyebrows furrowed “he wants to die too” 

“Realy?” Peter asked looking unamused “he breaks up with her the way he did and his first thought when he thinks she’s dead is to kill himself not, oh I don’t know, call Charlie and ask about it or even come back to investigate it himself?”

“Apparently” Alice shrugged “but we don’t have time to think about it!” Edward plans on revealing himself so the Volturi will kill him”

“Alright” Bella sighed “I’ll help”

“Wot?” Peter asked looking at Bella in disbelief 

“Can you wait for me out in the car” Bella said to Alice who did what she was asked 

“Ok I get it” Peter said, placing his hands on Bella's shoulders “I get it, but for the love of God don’t take him back. If he really does want to get back together with you make him work for it” he pulled her into a hug “and be careful. I have no idea what might happen over there and Aro can only do so much”

“I will”

“Call me when you get there” 

“Ok” Bella said before hurrying out of the house

Bella P.O.V.

I can do this. I thought to myself as Alice tore out of Peters driveway. I can face Edward again and even if something does happen I have Peter to turn to, he knew what I had going through and I had new friends now, ones that I didn’t have to lie to about Edward or werewolves or anything that has happened to me since I got to Forks. And if worse did come I had two options one, I could agree to be turned and live in Voltera with Aro or I could tell them about Lizzy and maybe that would give me some type of immunity, for now, but that option could also bring up some issues with Edward and his family especially considering how hostile the relationship between werewolves and vampires is, I can only imagine that it might be the same with witches and demons and that could create a whole other layer of problems. Either way the next few hours would definitely prove to be interesting.

[ckret2]

idk if someone actually finally sent this ask but i'mma do it since it seems people are dancing around it: if you're comfortable with it, may we have some radiosnake sexual headcanons (wherein alastor is not sexually repulsed or is demisexual/grey-ace ofc)?? love, a very happy demisexual who just finished a cold day in hell literally two minutes ago

You win the prize for "actually has the courage to directly ask for sexual headcanons" because no, nobody else has asked yet. Sorry for taking so long to answer it but like... the answer is over 2000 words. Have fun.

Now, anon, I've got something important you should know.

When I brainstorm radiosnake stuff, there's a little chatroom I do it in. What happens is, a lot of times, I'll come up with a scene or a scenario or a plot arc, and I'll describe it to that chat. And then, every once in a while, I'll say, "... and then here's how that same thing goes over in the parallel universe where Alastor Fucks." I have. A looot of little ideas set in the parallel universe where Alastor Fucks.

(He's still somewhere on the ace spectrum in all those ideas—either he's demi or else he's sex-neutral/sex-positive ace, depending on the idea—but he does Fuck.)

However, 1) a majority of these ideas are very clearly set specifically in CDIH's verse, and so I don't wanna share them as broad "radiosnake headcanons" when they're tied to one specific fanfic; and 2) a lot of them are angsty, and if you're asking for general headcanons then I'm assuming what you probably want is them actually having a good time rather than several decades of self-induced suffering over unrequited desire. So if you want CDIH-specific stuff and/or angsty stuff (or, more likely, CDIH-specific angsty stuff), hit me up again and I'll share some more stuff. For now, I'll talk about more general non-angsty headcanons.

Okay so most of this answer is geared toward Alastor's perspective since it's like, it's the more interesting one to me in this context, he's the one gradually figuring stuff out while Sir Pent's hanging out being allo with over a century of having his sexuality sorted out.

So that you know what kinda headcanons I'm rolling with here: there's, like, several ways I can conceptualize Alastor's orientation in my head, and they're sorta ranked by how "true" they are to me. Not "true" as in "how canon I think they are," but "true" as in, like, what Feels the Most Right to me.

The #1 Most True version of Alastor in my head is 100% ace/aro. He's not "repulsed" by sex (or romance, for that matter) in the sense of "disgusted/horrified/never ever wants to hear about it," but he, like, has absolutely zero interest in DOING it. He's not repulsed by the subject but he is by most touch, including the kind of touching necessary for sex. Might have some, like, academic curiosity about sex & romance, might enjoy it in a fictional context simply for the drama it adds to a story, but has no desire to be a participant. He can listen to a friend talk about their sexual escapades in graphic detail for an hour without an ounce of discomfort but if they offer him a quick peck on the lips he goes "I'm out." He might have sex Once just to see what it's like/just to say he has and that’s where his curiosity ends.

So that's my mental Most True Version Of Alastor.

The SECOND most true version of Alastor is like, the exact same as that, except he's just barely demiromantic enough that he might, once, fall in love. The odds of him falling in love are the same as someone's odds of winning the lottery. This is the version of Alastor I use in CDIH and other radiosnake fics, where Sir Pentious happens to have been lucky enough to win the lottery, but also, it took fifteen years before it happened. Alastor's feelings about touch & sex are the same, EXCEPT that whoever he loves is excluded from the Touch Is Unpleasant rule, which opens up a few more possibilities.

And I've got more mental versions of Alastor but that's as far as we need to go to be relevant to this post.

So given the above: Alastor's natural internal pool of Enjoyable Physical Activities that he would be autonomously inclined to want to try with Sir Pentious is broader than "nothing at all" but stops short of actual sex. More like sensual activities.

The not-necessarily-sexual sensual things that are obviously & immediately available on Alastor’s Selectable Menu Of Romantic Physical Activities are gonna be things like:

--Cuddles! We're starting as vanilla as possible, folks. Cuddling and sleeping in bed together. 95% naked cuddles are acceptable, although Alastor is inclined to keep his underpants on. Moving to "underpants" from "underpants AND undershirt" is a Notable Intimacy Milestone for him because like Back In His Day undershirts were part of the required underwear, so to him that's taking off 50% of his underwear. It's like switching from loose boxers to a thong. On the other hand Sir Pent is just, totally nude, because look at him he already isn't wearing any pants, he's got nothing to hide.

--Massage! Neither one of them is any sort of professional but tbh on a scale of 1 to 10 a massage can be as bad as a 3 and still be enjoyable y'know? Alastor tends to offer if he notices Sir Pent is sore and/or if Alastor has decided he's gonna be in Extreme Over-The-Top Performatively* Romantic Mode tonight. He always sort of forgets that the option of being massaged exists until Sir Pent offers it in return, because, like, he thinks of himself as a floating radio voice with an inconvenient meat puppet attached, sometimes he forgets that the meat puppet can be pampered too. And then he sits there in a blissed-out daze while Sir Pent goes holy crap your shoulders are like oak, how have you not snapped your own spine with tension yet.

(*Note here when I say Alastor can get "performatively" romantic I don't mean "going through the motions but isn't feeling the love"; I mean that, like, basically NO romantic gestures come naturally to him because he just isn't feeling the gestures even though he's definitely feeling the love. He's sort of figuring out How To Perform Romance As An Action by drawing on how he's seen it done in books/movies/etc. and picking & choosing the things that seem most fun to him to do. So in a sense he is performing a role that he's conscious of when he interacts with Sir Pent romantically, but that's because "performing a role" is how Mr. Perpetual Radio Host approaches all of life—and he's only performing this one because he genuinely wants to and because he's enjoying it.)

--Body worship! Alastor is really deeply squicked out by touching someone's skin/hair/fur but on the other hand (and maybe specifically because it avoids the squick) he is really deeply fascinated by Sir Pentious's scales, which feel Not At All Like Mammal Skin. He also still does the "??? oh right, I have a body too" thing when Sir Pent returns the attention—but Alastor's like, okay, I’m obviously more familiar with my own body than Sir Pent is, I don’t find my body that interesting but it must still be interesting to Sir Pent.

--Showering together! Sir Pent has figured out that if he starts singing in the shower there is a 99% chance that Alastor will trip over his own pants trying to simultaneously strip down and run to the bathroom so that he can join in on SHOWER DUET TIME. Frankly it's a lot safer to just go "hey I'm about to take a shower, wanna join?" but sometimes he doesn't just to see how fast Alastor shows up.

--Kissing! Making out is completely and always an option. Three of Alastor's most defining character traits are being a radio host (which kind of reduces a person to their voice), his perpetual smile, and his cannibalism. Like 80% of this dude's existence revolves around his mouth. He's absolutely got some kind of oral fixation. He gets into making out—as long as it's with the right person. There is exactly one right person. Sir Pent is okay with this.

Other enjoyable mouth activities:

- Kissing places other than the mouth

- Being kissed in places other than the mouth

- Biting

- Being bitten

And there's the overall list of non-sexual sensual activities that Alastor is into!

... And then eventually at some point Sir Pent is like "no pressure but hhhhypothetically sssspeaking are there possibly any sexual activities you might be interested in trying out" and Alastor is like "What? Oh! Right! Actually forgot sex existed for a bit. Yeah sure fine let’s try it." And that's the point at which they start experimenting with activities beyond Alastor's default activities!

Despite just about everything else with mouths being good, things Alastor is NOT into:

- Blowjobs

They did try. It seemed like a logical starting point. Alastor was like "I've liked putting my mouth everywhere else on this snake, it stands to reason I'll like putting it there too!" He got himself psyched up. He faced down The Dicks. He went, hmm. He stuck his tongue out and poked one.

He went "Yeah this isn't happening."

And Sir Pent went "Honestly you've already surpassed my wildest dreams just by getting that far."

They tried it the other way around too and Alastor went "Yyyye... hmmm... nnnnnooo no, no, don't think so. Not into that at all."

And it took him all of five seconds to reject the mere possibility of ever trying rimming, and the only reason it took that long to reject is because first Sir Pent had to explain what that is.

But everything else with mouths is great! Like. Everything. Sir Pent could go "can you lick my eyeball" and Alastor would go "which one? :)" (Sir Pent would probably not ask for this. But the point is he could.)

Figuring out Alastor's acceptable/enjoyable sex acts was a lot of experimentation like the above with BJs. And what they figured out is: he doesn't want his junk touched. Like. At all. In any context. Which, you know, understandably cuts down on nearly all the sexual options out there. But that’s the hard line: no touching his dick and no touching his butthole. Even if he, like, actively has a raging boner.

(Fun fact that I actually had to do research on, because despite being ace I did not know this due to the fact that I don't have a dick: if you are ace and have a dick there's good odds you'll still pop a boner in sexual situations, even if you have zero interest in what you’re looking at or participating in it. It's like something in your crotch goes "oh! Oh! A naked butt! I know what to do here! We got training for this! Time to ready the cannon!" and something in your brain goes "why the hell are you readying the cannon, we are absolutely not going to use the cannon, the cannon is a major inconvenience here" and the something in your crotch goes "listen, pal, I'm just following my orders. I don't tell you how to do your job, don't tell me how to do mine." The tl;dr here is that when Alastor is experimenting with Sir Pent, he could be completely bored out of his mind and still get a boner because biology is funky like that.)

The first few times this happens Sir Pent goes "are you sure you don't want me to, y'know, give you a handjob or something?? I feel like an inconsiderate jerk not helping out" and Alastor goes "absolutely not" and Sir Pent goes well okay I've made a career out of being an inconsiderate jerk, I guess I can do it in the bedroom too.

What they do manage to gradually figure out is that Alastor is perfectly fine with touching Sir Pent's junk, as long as it's not with his own junk or with his mouth. So hand jobs? Totally fair game. Letting Sir Pent grind against his thigh or abdomen? No problems with that. (Alastor flopped on his stomach going "this really does it for you??" and Sir Pent rubbing in Alastor's tail fur going "... yes." and Alastor is like, "wow. wild.")

More than that, Alastor gradually starts to figure out he likes that. Not necessarily the sensation of having a couple of dicks rubbing on his thigh—that's just sorta weird and probably always will be—but the knowledge of what it's doing to Sir Pent. He likes knowing he's giving Sir Pentious pleasure. He likes hearing him gasp and seeing him writhe and knowing that it's because Sir Pent wants Alastor and that Alastor has the power to give him exactly what he wants. He likes hearing Sir Pent hissing his name and little praises and one-word requests. ("Alastor’s existence revolves around mouths” includes sounds coming out of mouths, he gets more out of words and little noises than he does out of sight & touch combined.)

They figure out that what Alastor enjoys doing best is spooning Sir Pent from behind, wrapped around him to jerk him off. In bed or in the shower or even sitting with Sir Pent in his lap or between his legs. Alastor can put his chin on Sir Pentious's shoulder to listen to the sounds he makes and watch how his long long body moves, he can wrap his free arm around his waist and feel how he tenses and relaxes and squirms, they can kiss (and/or bite, biting is nice) with a little bit of careful positioning...

Also it's easier for Alastor to quietly sing to him from there.

... Alastor sings during sex. For the record. The first time he does it it's a nervous "I don't know what I'm supposed to be saying and it seems too quiet—oh I've got a solution" but soon it's just. A thing he does. Sir Pent gradually goes from "what? seriously? this is what you're doing?" to "lmao you dork" to "well I guess I now have a new kink I will never be able to get rid of, thanks." Sometimes he'll shakily sing along and Alastor's guts will melt into warm goo.

So there's a general overview of the more, like, normal stuff they get up to. Considering that their shared hobbies include things like "murder" and "being better than everyone else" and one of them is a cannibal, I'm sure that once they get down the basics they just get weirder. Copious amounts of blood get involved! Not their own blood. Other people's. 

[anankos]

It kinda bugs me that literally no one calls Byleth by name at all ever. Like I get it, cuz it was fully voiced, but if we couldn't customize them anyway, why did they even need to be nameable? The students make sense but, also all the other staff and the knights? Sometimes the going out of the way to call them Professor instead is even kind of awkward sounding. When Jeralt dies and calls them kid, it's like. Affectionate nickname thing, or did you actually forget my name?

Yeah, honestly I think that like Corrin, Byleth would turn out much better if they were already a non-avatar character of their own. The truth of the matter is Fire Emblem just isn’t structured well for a silent protagonist. Personally, I think the ideal would be Byleth as an uncustomizable character with their own voice and lines which acts as the vehicle by which we as players explore the monastery, do quests, etc. They can even still be a professor! The caveat being: no S supports for Byleth.

Okay part of that is because I’m aro and tired and also wary of some Unfortunate Implications, but also it would work better for giving Byleth their own characterization. If Byleth acts as an insert for the player as they do in vanilla fe16, and the ability to S support anyone is part of the product sold to the player, then everyone has to love Byleth. The silent protagonist approach is a pretty easy way to avoid Byleth not being a good player-insert, but this issue is that... that means Byleth doesn’t have much of a personality, particularly flaws.

I know I’m being a little mean to Byleth here, so I will say I do enjoy taking that mostly blank slate and scribbling all over it, going all ‘my city now’, the works. It’s just with how character driven Fire Emblem is and by nature of the conflicts in the game, silent player-inserts aren’t the best option. (And yeah. hearing them call Byleth ‘Professor’ in war phase is kinda weird ngl.)

[khaosgaming22]

Vertigo Ch/6

After a while of tinkering with what she had, Sora stood to her feet and stretched her arms widely. Just making a rifle out of scrap was tiring enough and she knew she still needed some rest after her crash. Hell she still didn't know how she felt. The virus had invaded her homeland by now and worry started to work its way up to her core quite fast.

She didn't pay attention, lost in her thoughts as she was,and accidentally cut herself with a sharp piece of metal on her palm."Ow…" she hissed out. She lowly cursed in her native tongue catching the attention of Cody.

"You alright?" He asked concerned as he saw her holding her hand. Drops of blood started to spill from her palm and now he was really concerned. "You cut your hand didn't you"

"I'm fine" she mumbled. She didn't want to keep accepting the help of too many people she just met, even if they saved her life. She hadn't realized that Cody had crouched down next to her to look at her wound.

"Looks pretty bad to me. I don't know if there's a medkit aro-"

"I said I was fine" she cut him off. She wasn't helpless. Far from it really. Sora was grateful for their help and all but she didn't want to be seen as a weakling or dependent person. Cody nodded and backed off to let her work.

“If you need any help I’ll be over here working on Dodger.” She looked over her shoulder at him and went back to her work.

“Alright then.” He got out a wrench and she went back to attaching the handle of the rifle to the chamber. This was a lot tougher than she thought it would be, though in her defense she never hand crafted anything like this from scrap before. She managed to put together the frame of the weapon, but the internals she was struggling with. She put her head down on the table frustrated and grumbled until Cody walked over next to her.

“Need some help?” He asked and she turned her head to glare at him through her messy hair. Didn’t she tell him she had this?

“Just askin.” He said and started to walk back toward his car. She was getting nowhere and she knew it but she also wanted to prove herself. Still, no use in banging her head against the wall.

“Wait.” She said to him muffled by her sleeve. Cody stopped and turned around. “Alright fine. Yes I need your help, how do I make this norowa reta chamber line up to this magazine?” Cody looked at her confused for a second. “It means damned.” She explained tiredly.

“Gotcha. Lemme see what I can do.” He looked over the frame she had constructed and slotted in the magazine. It went along the rails like it was supposed to but it didn’t go into the chambering correctly. “Ah here’s the problem.” He bumped the mag against the table and it shifted into place. “And here’s a solution.” Sora rolled her eyes.

“Brute force as always...” She took the frame to continue her work.

“Not always.” He said in defense. “But sometimes a delicate precise touch is needed, and other times you just have to be rough.” She nodded in annoyance and agreement.

“Hey don’t sweat it, you were doing fine for your first time. Seriously, I’ve got some guys here that STILL can’t put together a simple 9mm pistol.” She smiled a little at that, at least she wasn’t completely failing.

“And if you need to take a break take one, no sense in beating yourself up over something you can’t fix because you’re too pissed at it.” That made sense to her but working something till it’s completion had always been her way, it would be hard to follow his advice.

“I’m gonna go get something to eat, I’ll be back in a bit.” He walked through the door leading into the compound and she breathed a sigh of relief. Finally she could do this on her own without anyone looking over her shoulder. Even if they just wanted to help; by the time he came back with a Cup O Noodles she had put together the rest of the rifle.

~

Cody helped Sora put together a few more weapons and gave her some driving experience with the vehicles in the garage over the next few weeks. Sora was still wary of everyone at the outpost but she was warming up to Cody. She found a trailer in the park to stay in and Cody helped her move in. Her transition to the Legion was slow but it did happen.

“So how are you liking it here so far?” He asked one day while they were working on Dodger. She eventually wore him down enough to where he let her help with his project.

“It’s... nice I suppose. Still a little confusing and other than you I don’t trust anyone as far as I can throw them, but it’s not so bad now that I have my own space.

“You trust me?” He asked excitedly and her eyes narrowed.

“N- no! I just... find you the easiest to approach. I have known you the longest out of everyone here after all.” Cody did a small fist pump from behind the hood he had open to work on the transmission.

“There’s one thing that I still want from the Legion though.” She said to him giving him a screwdriver.

“Oh, and what’s that?” He asked taking it and attempting to spin it between his fingers before failing and dropping it, which made her giggle a bit.

“Oh you know exactly what I want.” She said and her face changed to a vengeful look he hadn’t seen since he first talked to her in the hospital.

“Alright then.” He closed the hood of the challenger and took off his safety glasses.

“Let’s go talk to the council.”

Hey everyone, soooo yeah I haven’t been very active lately on here but here’s another chapter of Vertigo. I’ve been trying to release a chapter per week. However as for content on my channel... it’s been pretty dry I know. Destiny 2 just really isn’t in a good place for me right now because I kinda got burnt. (out) That said, it doesn’t leave a lot of inspiration for Misfits LBs and the sort. Though I will say that Season of the Dawn is something I’m DEFINITELY excited to play and I will absolutely write more stuff when it drops. (This new Sundial is giving me TONS of ideas) Thanks for your patience!