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costellos · 4 years

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author’s note: I like to think that this takes place shortly after the gang realizes that they’re in love! I also wanted to take a more harem route on this (bc this blog is all about self indulgence, duh) so there are more mentions of the boys getting jealoooous ꉂ(´艸`●) anywho, I had a blast writing this and I hope you have a blast reading it!!

❥ ┋ ❝ bucci gang & how you know that they’re in love!

bruno bucciarati.

tries not to make it obvious that he’s assigning more missions with you. Bucciarati tries to sprinkle in assignments where you work alone when he can; those days, he’ll tag along in the car just to spend a little more time with you. this infuriates Fugo to no end.

(you can’t help but notice Fugo being unusually snarky at most everything Bucciarati says during the ride.)

he starts to ask for your opinion on how to handle new missions. part of it is because he genuinely values your take, part of it is to spend time alone with you. ↳ “ah... I see. you make a valid point there. I’m glad that I came to you first, you always have such valuable insight.”

Bucciarati had always requested an update after a mission’s completion, but recently, those conversations seem to go longer. he asks more details about the mission, if there was anything interesting about it. if you mention you got hurt, he’ll ensure you get the best care Italy has to offer.

like a true gentleman, he always makes time to walk you home at night. you live on the opposite side of time from him, and despite your protests, he insists that it’s fine. ↳ “please, [Name]. I’d rather do this than wake up tomorrow to find that something happened to you.”

sometimes old ladies will giggle if they see you and Bucciarati on walks together. if you ask what they think is so funny, they’ll comment that it’s so nice to see him finally making time for relationships.

he’s smooth about brushing them off, however. he calls you a good friend, but subtly hints that he’s interested in entering the dating world.

unofficial first date: he takes his time walking you home after a meeting. casually suggests that you should walk along Naples’s port. after all, it’s a warm summer night. why waste it? he would let you carry the conversation since he loves hearing your voice, and would only chime in as he sees fit. you note that throughout the entire night, Bucciarati has a smile on his lips.

leone abbacchio.

obviously not as rude as usual. he’ll still make snippy comments at you as he sees fit, but he also offers praise (a concept that you’re not quite used to yet). with enough time, those snippy comments turn into teasing. ↳ “jesus, [Name], you want three shots? was Mista really that unbearable to partner with this week?”

once that happens, he’ll direct his comments to the others. he’s ruthless when it comes to insulting the others’ attempts at wooing you (especially if it’s Giorno). Narancia will be the first to object, calling him out on trying to impress you too.

he’ll just shrug when this happens. it’s not his fault that their motives are so apparent.

anyway, Abbacchio has always been the type to put the mission before anything else. but during a particularly rough stand battle, you notice that he made the extra effort to guarantee your safety. though you do try to confront him, he brushes it off. ↳ “we wouldn’t have been able to advance without you. fight harder next time so I don’t have to save your ass again.”

you can’t help but notice the slight pink on his cheeks. caught red-handed, it seems.

if you’re going on a mission by yourself, Abbacchio will take the time to stop you and wish you good luck. brief and straightforward, nothing too fancy.

he’s willing to do things if you ask. before he’d tell you to ask someone else, but now... he might scoff or sigh or do nothing at all, but he’ll still accept.

surprisingly, he becomes the most comfortable to be around when things get quiet. Abbacchio is a firm believer that strong relationships don’t need to have mindless chatter. if you don’t have anything to say, he won’t push it, and that’s okay. no awkward silences will come from him.

unofficial first date: he invites you back to his place after a meeting. it’s raining and he doesn’t live far. he would make you any drink you fancy, but would be especially amused if you requested alcohol. it’s a casual affair; talk a little, watch some TV if that’s your thing. would let you stay the night if you wanted to! he wouldn’t make it weird, though. he’d just make his bed for you while he takes the couch.

giorno giovanna.

he starts talking to you more than anyone else in the gang. you took Giorno as the kind of person who won’t speak unless spoken to during moments of peace, so to have him casually start conversation with you feels... odd. but not uncomfortable.

he’s not fond of fighting for your attention amongst the gang. hence, he tries to make small yet meaningful impressions on you. he’ll order your usual at Libeccio if you’re running late (you didn’t even tell him what it was, he picked up after countless meetings) or leave you your favorite dessert at your doorstep on your days off (he remembered it from an off-hand comment).

on that note, Giorno starts leaving little things around for you, such as a single flower on your desk. small gifts that he knows would make you happy, even if for a moment. he himself gets happy thinking about your smile.

he would compliment you if he found it appropriate (usually for your fighting), but now he compliments you on everything. just in quieter ways. ↳ “you coordinated this plan flawlessly, [Name]. I truly wonder if there’s anything you can’t do.”

surprisingly, he also starts teasing you. nothing major, he just starts being more friendly toward you. his nonchalant exterior melts for something more familiar. ↳ “you must really like the rain. that’s the third time this week you’ve forgotten an umbrella. it’s alright, though, I brought one for the both of us.”

he’s honestly a pro at handling Abbacchio’s accusations. he plays it cool, saying that you’ve both gotten closer lately. he emphasizes the “closer” part, though. it might be considered sadistic on his part, but he enjoys watching his superior get annoyed.

(which, of course, irritates Abbacchio a lot.)

unofficial first date: he asks you to accompany him to his campus; apparently his school has rare frog species in the bio labs and he needs to observe it “for reference.” walks you through the biology department and shares what he knows about each species present. he loves amusing you with neat little fun facts, but he loves seeing your face light up at the cute little creatures more.

guido mista.

he’s the first to compliment you. about anything, really. how well your new shirt fits you, how your skin looks a little brighter today. all of it is genuine, and all of it is to see you smile just from something that he said. Giorno comments that he’s being overbearing.

(he retaliates by saying that there’s no harm in being nice to another teammate. Mista tries to be nonchalant about it, but he’s actually embarrassed that he’s that easy to read.)

he’ll follow you around everywhere. if you say that you’re going to run to the corner store before the meeting starts, he’ll tag along. if you mention you’re going to Chiaia this weekend to go shopping, he’ll casually mention that he’s going there too and that you should meet up.

the Pistols start paying more attention to you. they’ll dance around your shoulders, play on your hands — anything to get your attention. Mista gets flustered when this happens and barks at them to come back. ↳ “oi, what the hell do you think you’re doing?! leave them alone!”

this rarely works, though.

(Mista never even gets the chance to confess that he loves you. the Pistols do it before he can. because of that, he would likely be the first to confess to you.)

he’s a sucker for pop culture. if he hasn’t watched it, he’ll tune in to any movie or TV show that you like. he’s desperate to get closer to you so there really isn’t a downside to this, even if he doesn’t like it. he’d then talk about it to you, discussing plot elements and whatnot. ↳ “whaaaa? okay, okay, okay. back up. so he purposely killed himself to force his kids to come together?”

unofficial first date: the most traditional out of the gang. he asks if you want to join him to watch a movie starring your favorite actor / actress. would pay for your ticket too, obviously. he tries to play it cool, though! just going as two friends.... yeah...... friends...... he won’t pull any funny business but he’d love to discuss your thoughts on the movie afterwards.

narancia ghirga.

Narancia is the most obvious about his feelings for you outside of Mista.

for one thing, he starts saving a seat for you next to him at Libeccio. Narancia gets defensive if anyone tries to take it. Bucciarati has to intervene by asking him to stop and let you sit wherever you want preferably next to Bucciarati himself.

likewise, he sits really close to you. like, shoulders-almost-touching close. he’d back away if you ask, however.

he’s bad at taking criticisms from the others (he would be the worst if it wasn’t for Fugo). if he gets called out by Bucciarati, he’ll sink in his seat and pout. if anyone else does it, he’ll challenge them and call them hypocrites. it’s an uncomfortable situation.

when that does happen, he’ll scoff and say that you should leave with him. ↳ “ugh, I can’t stand this place. c’mon, let’s go somewhere else.”

he’ll invite himself to your missions if he can beat Mista to it. insists that you need backup and that Aerosmith can guarantee your safety. after all, his stand is meant for detecting threats.

if he does manage to tag along, you notice that Narancia starts showing off during missions. not only does he fight more aggressively, he also has Aerosmith do all sorts of flashy moves.

he looks up to you so much. he sees you as a role model of sorts, often thinking what you would do in certain scenarios. it helps him rationalize situations and keep his cool under pressure. ↳ “okay. relax. what would [Name] do...?”

unofficial first date: he asks if you’d like to see something cool after shopping for snacks post-meeting. from there, he leads you to the rooftop of a nearby residential building. it’s a struggle to get up there since you have to climb an array of pipes and balconies to reach it, but he helps you up. it’s quiet on the roof, and you can peacefully talk about life with nothing but a couple sodas and the stars above you.

pannacotta fugo.

always volunteers to drive you to your missions. any more time with you is time well spent. Mista catches onto this quickly and will promptly tease him anytime Fugo offers a ride.

on that note, he gets really defensive if someone teases him about wanting to spend more time with you. hands down, he’s the worst at handling others calling him out. it might trigger an outburst regardless if they were joking or not.

oddly enough, however, he immediately relaxes if you so much as clasp his shoulder. part of it is that your touch is so gentle he can ease up. part of it is he’s embarrassed for losing control in front of you. he gets flustered afterwards. ↳ “I’m sorry you had to see me like that. let’s move on.”

he’s more patient with you than the others. he hates repeating himself, but you notice that he doesn’t seem to make an issue when it comes to you (much to Narancia’s chagrin).

if you’re going on a mission by yourself, Fugo makes the effort to stop you before you head out. he’d ask that you be careful and that if you need any help to let him know. however, he tries to cover that up and say that he knows you’re capable.

likewise, he’s a lot more doting on you now. he’s the first to check up on you following a mission. if you’re hurt, he wouldn’t hesitate to tend to you (not before chastising you). ↳ “tch. I told you to be more careful, and this is how you respond? you really are hopeless... but I’m glad that this cut isn’t anything major.”

he detests how the others act around you. how Mista and Narancia are always inviting themselves to your missions, how Bucciarati is quick to walk you back home, how cool Abbacchio is around you despite his own feelings... Fugo wishes he could be more forward with you, but he knows that’s just not who he is.

unofficial first date: he asks you to accompany him to the archives of a library. it’s for “research” he claims, to look up something relevant for the next mission. he would show you all the dumb records that the library contains. he loves sharing something so small with you! but he loves it even more when he can make you laugh. feeling something other than anger is an event he can only experience with you.

#bucci gang #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #golden wind #giorno giovanna #bruno bucciarati #leone abbacchio #guido mista #narancia ghirga #pannacotta fugo #headcanons #captainfishiebishie #special thanks to captainfishiebishie for reminding me of those prompt!#this was a challenging prompt to tackle but I'm satisfied with how it came out :^)#also props to anyone who knows what show I referenced in Mista's blurb.....#it's a Netflix original that I'm WEEPING over right now #toya whisks u away

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maxwell-grant · 3 years

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Thoughts on the Shadow's Doppelganger, Lamont Cranston

The funny thing about Cranston in the original stories is that, yeah, one of the most famous scenes across all Shadow media is the “Lamont Cranston Talks to Himself” chapter in The Shadow Laughs, where we learn that The Shadow is not Lamont Cranston, but has usurped his identity, and now shows up at his bedside looking like him, talking like him, knowing more about his own life than he himself does, and ordering him to leave town, effectively blackmailing him into letting him use his face. It’s a very iconic scene that exemplifies a lot of what makes The Shadow unique as a character, and you can imagine why so many adaptations have gone with the idea of Cranston being either a hapless stooge bullied into submission, or an actual villain, because that whole scene is very much a horror movie scenario.

Thing is, none of them seem to remember how Cranston and The Shadow’s relationship developed past this. I’ll post this excerpt from Atoms of Death:

"Good morning, Cranston," came a quiet tone from the foot of the bed.

"Good morning, yourself," returned Cranston, rubbing his eyes without noticing the visitor.

"You should say: Good morning, myself," chuckled The Shadow, dryly.

Cranston was pulling down the sleeves of his pajama jacket. He sat bolt upright, staring. Then a slow smile showed on his lips; one that was almost a replica of The Shadow's.

"So it's you," remarked Cranston, sleepily. "Well, I knew that last night. It was about time we crossed paths again. Well, old man, you landed me in for plenty this trip."

Cranston shoved bedclothes aside and perched on the edge of the bed. He found cigarettes on the telephone table; The Shadow supplied a flame from a lighter before Cranston could ignite a match. The millionaire noted that The Shadow's lighter bore the initials "L. C."

"You handle every detail, don't you?" questioned Cranston in admiration. “Jove! I remember the first time I met you. In this very room. You dropped cloak and hat and left me looking at my own face as plainly as if I had seen it in a mirror. Just as it is today."

"And I advised you," recalled The Shadow, in Cranston's own tone, "to take a trip abroad, while I used your identity. You were a bit exasperated at first."

"I must admit that I was. I threatened to have you arrested, as an impostor, until you proved that you knew more about my affairs than I did. I really believe that if it had come to a showdown, I would have been proven the impostor and you the genuine Lamont Cranston. Jove!"

"Jove," repeated The Shadow, quietly, "You have acquired that expression recently, Cranston. I shall remember it for future reference. You have a penchant for acquiring anglicisms during your sojourns in British colonies. Jove!"

"Bounder and blighter," laughed Cranston. "Don't forget those. I still use them occasionally."

Or this excerpt from The Hydra, which is an incredible book where the chemistry between the two really shines:

Lamont Cranston woke up and wondered why his head still whirled. It took him about half a minute to learn that the motion came from the fact he was riding in his limousine. Someone must have put him back in the limousine and Stanley was driving him home.

He didn't have to guess who had helped him on his way, for at that moment Cranston heard a low-toned laugh beside him. He turned to see the black-cloaked figure of The Shadow.

"What did you hit me with?" asked Cranston. "All four of your automatics?"

"I'm only carrying a pair tonight," replied The Shadow

Look at these two dorks, just palling around and getting into shenanigans and The Shadow outright joking around Cranston, like they are just two old chums having a laugh at the weirdness of their lives. The “real” Cranston didn’t show up very often in the original stories, especially in the last stories when Lamont Cranston essentially became the real identity of The Shadow, but when he did, part of what makes him stand out as his own character is that he’s funny. Gibson gets a lot of mileage out of Cranston as this guy who is completely nonchalant and chill about all the weird shit that happens to him, even in The Hydra after he kills a man with an elephant gun, he’s still more or less the same, he largely just walks out of it with a newfound realization.

Relieving Cranston of the elephant gun, The Shadow steered his friend into the closet. Hauling the big weapon with him, The Shadow opened the door to meet and dismiss arriving servants who had dashed upstairs when they felt the house quake.

"Whenever I see this gun," began Cranston, coming from the closet, "I'll remember what I did with it -"

“Quite right," interposed The Shadow approvingly. "What you did to Mance will make amends for any elephants you may have killed. Too bad Mance didn't bring along a few more Hydra Heads.”

Slowly, understanding dawned on Cranston. He'd never compared his big-game hunts with The Shadow's quests for men of crime. He felt that The Shadow's cause was justified, but it had seemed outside the field of sport. It still was, but Cranston, now that he had dealt with a murderer who deserved to die, was realizing that his game hunts were more deserving of rebuke.

His encounters with The Shadow gradually changed Cranston from a useless millionaire wasting his resources and talents on idle pursuits, to...still largely a useless millionaire, except his resources and talents are no longer wasted and he’s gradually grown into a useful ally and friend to The Shadow. The Shadow tends to have that effect on people who work by his side and even Cranston, the guy whose main role in his organization is to just stay away and be useless somewhere else, can’t help but change a little into a better person when he appears.

There’s an interesting article written by Bob Sampson called “The Third Shadow” which refers to the Bruce Elliot run of The Shadow Magazine, which is incredibly maligned by fans and not without reason, the stories all largely suck and the Shadow bears little resemblance to his former self, instead mostly feeling like a diet take on the radio show Lamont, more of an average detective. The theory Sampson puts out is that, during this period, it was actually Lamont Cranston who became active as The Shadow while Allard was busy overseas, and I definitely like this theory. It makes sense specially considering The Hydra sets up for Cranston to become more pro-active and serious:

While not the towering master-mind of Allard, he does become the next best thing: A post-war sleuth. He even indulges in wearing the cloak and slouch hat from time to time (to varying degrees of effectiveness), while trying to laugh like Allard (also to varying degrees of effectiveness) as if to fulfill that forbidden fantasy until he finally gets it out of his system. After all, The Shadow pretended to be him, why not the other way around?

As Bob Sampson put it: “It is always Cranston who explains all and takes the credit”.

Probably very cathartic for Lamont, who for the last 18 years was relegated to being a distant supporting player in his own life. Cranston is still in contact with the agents however. He even receives "assignments" from Burbank.

This entire arrangement could only be with The Shadow's tacit approval. Let us remember, Cranston was not merely some insipid fop. He certainly had done his own share of exploring and was indeed a hunter. He could handle a variety of firearms, was familiar with exotic peoples and their customs, knew how to stalk dangerous animals through the jungle and veldt, but he was not, nor ever claimed to be, a master secret-agent and soldier.

I think it is fitting that the writing is completely different for this period as well. Not the enigmatic journalistic style of Allards exploits, but the witty, modern champagne fizz of Cranston's odyssey in a Post-War world. He feels a full range of emotions. In the Gibson stories, The Shadow is at arms length. In the Elliott stories, Cranston is sitting right next to you on a train or an airplane or roadster.

It’s also interesting to consider how Lamont Cranston has basically become the true name of The Shadow in pop culture. Often times it’s the name people use when they specifically want to reference The Shadow, the supposed “Ghost of Gay Street” hauntings in Gibson’s former apartment took the form of Lamont Cranston, and even in the stories, more and more people became aware of it as the years went by (which also helps reinforce the idea that the “real” Cranston eventually took to acting as a fill-in for The Shadow, to draw attention away from the real Shadow’s operations), and Gibson even mentioned a few times that Cranston was The Shadow’s “favorite” identity along with Arnaud. Which is kinda fascinating to think about and does hint at some weird underlying aspects of The Shadow’s psyche, that his favorite identity is one not his own.

And at last, there’s these passages from The Whispering Eyes, a book that does not mention Allard once, and the very last Shadow novel:

From beneath the seat he was taking his black garb. Cloaked and hatted as he stepped from the cab, Cranston merged immediately with the darkness. He had become The Shadow.

Cranston's switch to his other self could well be attributed to a hypnotic mood. The mental lapses produced through hypnosis were the sort that would often cause a subject to revert to habit. Now, as The Shadow, Cranston was still in what might be termed a haphazard mood. He was skirting through darkness, pausing, changing direction, behaving generally as though avoiding something that did not exist.

Lang had flung away his glasses; his eyes now showed the shining, hypnotic force that the lenses normally softened. He recognized the eyes that met his above a leveled gun muzzle.

The Shadow's eyes, yet strangely Cranston's, for this was one time The Shadow did not care to disguise them.

Which begs the question: Did Cranston succeed in fully becoming The Shadow? Or did The Shadow succeed in fully becoming Cranston?

#replies tag #pulp heroes #pulp fiction #the shadow #lamont cranston

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thecoleopterawithana · 5 years

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The Beatles and Dysfunctional Family Roles

Humans are social animals. When one lives in a group, each has a part to play. A role in this great play that is life, if you will.

All the worlds a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits, and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts.

— William Shakespeare, As You Like It, Act II, Scene VII.

These sets of adequate behaviors are determined by the expectations of everyone around us, eventually becoming internalized through socialization. This means that the role we play is also context-dependent, and should change and adapt according to different times and spaces. It’s only when we become too fixed in certain dynamics that there is a problem.

Humans are master profilers. We have to quickly know what role our scene-partner is playing, after all. Furthermore, we also have a tendency to generalize. To forget that these are merely parts and others and ourselves are much more complex than the character they present at any given situation.

Thus, humans are masters at creating tags (long before the ‘hash’ prefixed it). Each Beatle member has been attributed, from their very first days under the public gaze, a very specific part: the Smart One, the Cute One, the Quiet One and the Funny One.

Like most labels, they are informative to a degree, which becomes limiting when one assumes that’s all there is to know. And even though there were infinitely complex individuals behind these fan nicknames, it’s curious how even within the band, in the privacy of their hotel rooms, these four young men fell into a very structured dynamic with very specific roles (which with time became stifling).

But it is wise to remember that the Beatles were more than a band.

They were a family.

This was something that they always identified with very keenly. They were brothers. (Of course, on top of this dynamic, John and Paul had the added complexity of also feeling like they were married.)

But for now, let’s look upon them as the children that they were: four brothers in one big adventure. It probably pays to follow their self-denomination and examine what part each member played in this dynamic. And because I used the word “dysfunctional” in the title, let’s first establish what it entails.

One of the main distinguishers between healthy and dysfunctional family dynamics is just how fixed these structures are.

In any given family the individual members fulfill and act out roles….

While in healthy, functional families these roles are generally fluid, change over time, in different circumstances, at particular events and are age and developmental appropriate, in dysfunctional families the roles are much more rigid.

In a healthy family members are integrated and various parts may surface at different times at no threat to the family system. In functional families the roles are interdependent.

The various roles in a healthy family are parts of every person….

Healthy families in general retain functionality when individual members ‘leave’ the family system through ‘moving out’, starting their own families or even death of an individual member.

By contrast,

In dysfunctional families the roles are almost a form of continuity or stability of the family system, stifling development….

Members must submerge parts of their personalities and take on a role so they are less of a threat to the family system that must be kept in place. In the case of a dysfunctional family all the roles are characterized as co-dependent.

In a dysfunctional family each member takes a role, and/or is assigned one, to make up the whole which is the family. Rather than a family of fully (yet age appropriate) persons, the family system gears to create just one: the family itself.

In dysfunctional family systems when an individual member leaves, this creates an (almost) irreparable hole in the existing system… This is why dysfunctional families are often so enmeshed. The system needs all members to function as a unit, not as a community.

— “Healthy vs Dysfunctional Family Roles”, Out Of The Storm.

It displeases me to dish out a diagnosis, for the line between healthy and unhealthy is often quite subtle.

But it’s hard not to argue that at times the Beatles tended towards the rigidity of a dysfunctional family. They have the resulting tensions and fallouts to prove it. Just the simple premise that the stability and continued existence of the family unit (the band) was more important than the wants and needs of its individual members is a sign of how prone they were to imprisoning themselves for the good of the whole.

In 1981 Weischeider identified five archetypes that children are assigned, originally relating to her work with alcoholic families. Since then the terms have evolved to cover other types of dysfunctional family systems: including the presence of other kinds of addictions; untreated mental health illnesses; sexual or physical abuse; fundamentalism or rigid dogmatism.

But what are these Dysfunctional Family Roles?

The Golden Child (The Hero)

This family member devotes his/her time and attention to making the family look “normal” and without problems. The Hero can mask or make up for the dysfunctional home life. Over-responsible and self-sufficient they are often perfectionistic, are over-achievers and look very good - on the outside. The parents look to this child to prove that they are good parents and good people. Their goal in life is to achieve “success”, however that has been defined by the family; they must always be “brave and strong”. The Hero’s compulsive drive to succeed may in turn lead to stress-related illness, and compulsive over-working. They learn at a young age to suffer the sadness of a parent and become a surrogate spouse or confidante.

While The Hero saves the family by being perfect and making it look good, the golden child may struggle to live up to his status. In a Narcissistic Personality Disordered (NPD) family, The Golden Child is the recipient of all the narcissistic parent’s positive projections, and is their favourite child. The golden child is usually victim of emotional and (covert) sexual abuse by the narcissistic parent. (S)He is also witness to, and sometimes takes part in, the other children’s abuse. Many specialists believe that witnessing your sibling’s abuse is as damaging as receiving it.

The Caretaker (The Enabler)

Another descriptive word for this type of codependent family role is “the Caretaker.“ This is also a role a child can fulfill, especially in case the other parent/caregiver has not resigned to enable the dysfunctional Addicted or Narcissististic parent. The Enabler feels like they have to keep the family going. Over and over they take on the addict’s problems and responsibilities.

The Enabler is the martyr of the family, and often supports not only the dysfunctional behavior, but also a prime enforcer of the codependent roles that everyone else is required to play.

You often see this role in a family where the functioning of (one of) the parent(s) is impaired in some way, i.e. mental illness, substance abuse or a medical disability. This child will attempt function as the surrogate parent. They worry and fret, nurture and support, listen and console. Their entire concept of their self is based on what they can provide for others.

The Enabler protects and takes care of the problem parent so that the parent is never allowed to experience the negative consequences of his or her actions. The Enabler feels he or she must act this way, because otherwise, the family might not survive. The paradoxical thing about The Enabler’s behavior is that by preventing the dysfunctional parent’s crisis, he or she also prevents the painful, corrective experience that crisis brings, which may be the only thing that makes the dysfunctional parent stop the downward spiral of addiction…

[Note: The Caretaker is often the “intra-familial counterpart” of The Golden Child, which can overlap and be played by the same person.]

The Problematic Child (The Scapegoat)

The Scapegoat is the “problem child” or the “trouble maker”. This family member always seems defiant, hostile and angry. The Scapegoat is the truth-teller of the family and will often verbalize or act out the "problem” which the family is attempting to cover up or deny. This individual’s behavior warrants negative attention and is a great distraction for everyone from the real issues at hand. The Scapegoat usually has trouble in school because they get attention the only way they know how - which is negatively. They can be very clever, may develop social skills within his or her circle of peers, and become leaders in their own peer groups. But often the groups that they choose to associate with are groups that do not present healthy relationships. The relationships he or she experiences tend to be shallow and inauthentic.

The Scapegoat is sacrificed for the family. The Scapegoat will be the “identified patient”. Scapegoats come in many different flavors, but two common ones are: 1) the picked, weak or sick child; or, 2) the angry, rebellious problem child who is constantly getting into conflicts. They are often self-destructive, cynical and even mean.

In an NPD family, The Scapegoat, or no good child is the recipient of the narcissist’s negative projections. They can never do anything right. The name ‘rebel’ implies that the child has chosen this role, which is debatable. The Scapegoat is usually victim of emotional and physical abuse by the narcissistic parent.

The Quiet One (The Lost Child)

The Lost Child is usually known as “the quiet one” or “the dreamer”. The Lost Child is the invisible child. They try to escape the family situation by making themselves very small and quiet. (S)He stays out of the way of problems and spends a lot of time alone. The purpose of having a lost child in the family is similar to that of The Hero. Because The Lost Child is rarely in trouble, the family can say, “He’s a good kid. Everything seems fine in his life, so things can’t be too bad in the family.”

This child avoids interactions with other family members and basically disappears. They become loners, or are very shy. The Lost Child seeks the privacy of his or her own company to be away from the family chaos. Because they don’t interact, they never have a chance to develop important social and communication skills. The Lost Child often has poor communication skills, difficulties with intimacy and in forming relationships. They deny that they have any feelings and "don’t bother getting upset.” They deal with reality by withdrawing from it.

In an NPD family, The Lost Child just doesn’t seem to matter to the narcissist, and avoids conflict by keeping a low profile. They are not perceived as a threat or a good source of supply, but they are usually victim of neglect and emotional abuse.

The Clown (The Family Mascot)

The goal of The Family Mascot is to break the tension and lighten the mood with humor or antics. (S)He is usually “the cute one.” This child feels powerless in the dynamics which are going on in the family and tries to interrupt tension, anger, conflict, violence or other unpleasant situations within the family by being the court jester. The Mascot seeks to be the center of attention in the family, often entertaining the family and making everyone feel better through his or her comedy. They may also use humor to communicate and to confront the family dysfunction, rather than address it directly. They also use humor to communicate repressed emotions in the family such as anger, grief, hostility or fear. This behavior is lighthearted and hilarious, just what a family twisted in pain needs — but the mascot’s clowning is not repairing the emotional wounds, only providing temporary balm. The rest of the family may actually try to protect their “class clown”. The Mascot is often busy-busy-busy. They become anxious or depressed when things aren’t in constant motion. The Mascot commonly has difficulty concentrating and focusing in a sustained way on learning, and this makes school or work difficult. (Hence they also referred to as “The Slacker”.)

They often have case loads rather than friendships - and get involved in abusive relationships in an attempt to “save” the other person. They have very low self-worth and feel a lot of guilt that they work very hard to overcome by being really “nice” (i.e. people pleasing, classically codependent) people.

— “Dysfunctional Family Roles”, Out Of The Storm.

Since then a sixth type is sometimes also considered:

The Manipulator (The Mastermind)

The Manipulator takes their experience of their hostile environment and uses it to their advantage. They capitalise on the family situation and play family members against each other. This individual will quickly become adept at recognising what the actual problem the parent suffers from. They’ll understand which one is the enabler, and which one is co-dependent.

Manipulators exercise this knowledge to control and influence family members. They’ll do it covertly, not directly. They never want to get caught. Gradually, they’ll learn what triggers the parents and their siblings and they will take shots at all of them…

Manipulators can turn into bullies, those who harass people and get a kick out of it. They are unable to form healthy relationships. If they are in one, they will be controlling with a partner who has low self-esteem.

They will only think of themselves and what they can get out of others. They feel that the world owes them for their lousy childhood and will go about getting it by any means.

— “6 Dysfunctional Family Roles People Take without Even Knowing”, Learning Mind.

It is not always clear-cut what role each member has been assigned, and the positions can change over time (normally as a result of the loss of one of the members). But people are inherently complex and multi-faceted. They have within themselves bits of each archetype. The unhealthy factor derives from the attempt to fit and perform one single one-dimensional role.

For example, John clearly acted up The Problematic Child publicly, but privately he also certainly had elements of The Dreamer; not only on the sense of being imaginative and introspective but also in his tendency for escapism and withdrawing from reality.

Also, when the fear and pain affected him the most, he became desperate enough to play The Manipulator. He did this from early on, but with the help of Yoko (who I now think, as a result of her particularly difficult childhood, became a “primary” Mastermind herself) he became even more effective at it from 1968 onwards.

JOHN: I did a job on this banker that we were using, and on a few other people, and on the Beatles.

Q: What?

JOHN: How do you describe the job? You know, you know, my job – I maneuver people. That’s what leaders do, and I sit and make situations which will be of benefit to me with other people, it’s as simple as that. I had to do a job to get Allen in Apple. I did a job, so did Yoko.

YOKO: You do it with instinct, you know.

JOHN: Oh. God, Yoko, don’t say that. Maneuvering is what it is, let’s not be coy about it. It is a deliberate and thought-out maneuver of how to get a situation the way we want it. That’s how life’s about, isn’t it, is it not?

— The “Lennon Remembers” interview, by Jann Wenner for Rolling Stone (8 December 1970).

In regards to the occupied archetypes, often one member has to fulfill more than one role. But because the structures are incredibly rigid, they can only perform one role at a time. This can cause even more internal stress as a result of not knowing which facet is being demanded of them at any given time.

Paul seems to have needed to balance being both The Golden Child and The Caretaker. This could explain his apparently parental role, alternatively characterized as masculine (Paul being a God/Father-Figure) or feminine (Paul being called the mother of the group). The gendered side of it relates more to society’s associations with these responsibilities (being “successful, brave and strong” = father’s job; taking care, “worry and fret, nurture and support, listen and console” = mother’s job), than I believe was ever consciously played by Paul himself. He just had a responsibility void to fill and he did it.

It is also crucial to understand that these dysfunctional dynamics are “transgenerational.” Meaning that “individuals reared in dysfunctional families tend to gravitate toward 'dysfunctional’ partners and create dysfunctional families of their own.”

This leads me to believe that it’s very likely that the Beatles replicated a dysfunctional family when they got together because they each individually came from dysfunctional families of their own. Or rather, one of the reasons why the Beatles got together in the first place was because they each came from dysfunctional families of their own, and thus were attracted to individuals who shared these patterns.

I loved my association with John and Paul because I had something in me which I recognized in them—which they must have or could have recognized in me, which is why we ended up together. And it was just great knowing there’s somebody else in life who feels similar to yourself.

— George Harrison, interviewed by Alan Freeman for BBC Radio 1 (6 December 1974).

Maybe this is why John, Paul, and George were such a strong front-line on their own but needed Ringo, and not Pete Best, to finally complete the set.

It may also be another factor as to why John and Paul bonded so tightly, as Paul knew how to “handle” John and John wanted to be taken care of. (There is of course much more to the dynamic; this is just one of its possible facets, which was at risk of becoming draining and a source of tension when to fixed in this co-dependent state.)

Again, it is hard to make an objective evaluation of the dysfunctionality of the Beatles’ biological families. There wasn’t so much awareness of the unhealthiness of some dynamics at the time, so many of the participants may even lack the words (or the will) to describe them. But the symptoms seem to be present. I believe that alone makes it worth looking for a potential cause.

Also, these attempts to create fixed dynamics for the stability of the family unit all seem to happen as a response to the inner inconstancy and instability of the forces governing the unit itself (normally the dysfunctional parental figure, but maybe can be extended to the life-circumstances themselves). For example, could severe financial instability be enough to create these patterns?

Either way, we can find in the Beatles’ childhood sources of dysfunction easily enough.

One that makes a common and expected appearance, in a liquor-filled Liddypool, was drinking, particularly in Ringo and John’s childhoods.

Ringo

Johnny Starkey would play a crucial role in the raising of his grandson, and by all accounts he was a full-on “wacker” (a much-used word for working-class Liverpool men and boys), being a drinker, laborer, gambler and brawler.

— On Ringo’s grandfather, John Starkey. In Mark Lewishon’s Tune In (2013).

Elsie, Harry, relations, friends and workmates would drink and sing through the evening until closing time, and then, well bevvied, tumble into Elsie and Richy’s tiny terraced house where the party carried on—more singing, more drinking, more swearing, Johnny and Annie Starkey on banjo and mandolin, the steam rising ever higher into the night… The boy would always remember singing at home “not in front of a coal fire but in front of a bottle of gin and a large bottle of brown,” emphasizing the point that, as many children have experienced down the years, the bond of good-time music and booze was significant. Years later, he would admit, “My parents were alcoholics and I didn’t realize it.”

— On Ringo’s childhood. In Mark Lewishon’s Tune In (2013).

Dingle people actually had much in common with cockneys. Both were poor and working-class, both were predominantly English/Protestant, both suffered terrible bombing at the hands of the Germans, and both liked a good drink and boozy sing-song. One big reason Harry fit right at home in Liverpool 8 was because he liked nothing better than to go to the pubs and clubs, get a few ales inside him and sing.

— On Ringo’s stepfather, Harry Arthur Graves. In Mark Lewishon’s Tune In (2013).

Richy took the job because he still harbored hopes of joining the merchant navy… But the job also had another attraction: booze. Richy was now a confirmed drinker. Regular exposure to alcohol in and around the home was an influence, and it was what many boys did anyway, swear and smoke and drink at the first opportunity.

— On Ringo’s second job at the tramp steamer St. Tudno. In Mark Lewishon’s Tune In (2013).

John

He was an ale drinker, but once he started drinking he’d drink anything. If there was a bottle, he’d stay with it.

— On John’s father, Alf Lennon, as told by close friend Billy Hall. In Mark Lewishon’s Tune In (2013).

Alf Lennon didn’t begin the new decade very well either. The Dominion Monarch docked at Tilbury before Christmas, after which he tomfooled around London with a few shipmates, waiting for it to sail again in mid-January. Alcohol was surely a fixture, opening time to closing with bottles between sessions…

— On John’s father, Alf Lennon, as told by close friend Billy Hall. In Mark Lewishon’s Tune In (2013).

John’s time with Julia was also complicated by the presence of “Twitchy.” His relationship with Bobby Dykins was not all bad but neither was it particularly rosy. Pete Shotton isn’t the only person to recall him as an alcoholic…

— On John’s “step-father”, Bobby “Twitchy” Dykins. In Mark Lewishon’s Tune In (2013).

John, of course, had the added factors of possible mental illness in his mother, and the abandonment by his parental figures (Alf, Julia and Uncle George).

Paul

Paul also had the loss of his mother and all the upheaval it brought. I’ve talked before how I thought the suddenness of Mary’s death and Jim’s inability to be visibly strong enough in the face of it, made Paul feel like he could not rely on the people around him to always be there, and that he needed to protect himself and be independent.

But now I wonder if there weren’t other possible sources of instability, that made him feel the need to take on responsibility even more strongly:

Though given such a strong foundation, Jim could not be spared from a further vice. For Jim McCartney was something of a gambling man, fond of betting on the horses. He once got badly into debt, though for reasons that at least had motives other than selfishness; his mother, Florence McCartney, who was capable of coupling a strongly matriarchal role with a fondness for humor of a most prurient nature, was badly in need of a holiday.

— In Chris Salewicz’s McCartney (1986).

Jim McCartney also enjoyed a drink, but would never permit himself to become so intoxicated that he was no longer in control of his own actions. That he should always maintain his self-respect was one of the principles of his existence, and one which he later passed on to his sons.

— In Chris Salewicz’s McCartney (1986).

The McCartneys had money worries. After the war, Jim’s job at the armaments factory ended and he returned to the cotton exchange, as a salesman for A. Hannay and company, but the war had changed everything; the cotton market was in chaos, and lie was lucky to bring home £6 a week. It meant that Mary also had to work and it was always a cause of slight embarrassment that she earned a higher wage than he.

— In Barry Miles’ Many Years From Now (1997).

Yet the education that Jim McCartney offered his sons was not always conventional; they couldn’t help but notice his inability to pass a slot machine without putting a coin in it, or the way he would give quadruple measures of undiluted alcohol to guests. Later, when the boys were in their teens, he would show them how to get away with drinking underage in pubs, slipping them the cash to buy rounds of drinks.

— In Chris Salewicz’s McCartney (1986).

Mum was a working nurse. There wasn’t a lot of money around – and she was half the family pay packet. My reaction was: ‘How are we going to get by without her money?’ When I think back on it, I think, ‘Oh God, what? Did I really say that?’ It was a terrible logical thought which was preceded by the normal feelings of grief. It was very tough to take.

— Paul McCartney, in Ray Coleman’s McCartney: Yesterday & Today (1996).

The boys went to stay with Jim’s brother Joe and his wife Joan, while friends and relatives tried to calm their distraught father, whose first thought was to join his wife.

— In Barry Miles’ Many Years From Now (1997).

A Hard Day’s Night had its London premiere on July 6, 1964, the day before Jim McCartney’s birthday… Then, as midnight chimed, Paul drew his father over to him. “Happy birthday, Dad,” he said, and produced a painting—perhaps the one mentioned to the Telegraph magazine—of a horse, which he handed to Jim.

“Thank you, son. Very nice,” muttered the somewhat confused father. (Later he was to tell Thomas Gaule about it. “I thought, ‘It’s very nice, but couldn’t he have done a bit better than that?’”). Then Paul revealed that this was a painting of the £1,050 racehorse, Drake’s Drum, that he had bought his father.

“You silly bugger,” was Jim’s joyous reply.

“My father likes a flutter [bet],” Paul said. “He’s one of the world’s greatest armchair punters.”

— In Chris Salewicz’s McCartney (1986).

Again, it’s hard to definitely label a situation problematic, but the impact it has on a developing person is more relative to how the person experienced it than to the experience itself. But perhaps Jim’s gambling habits, the family’s financial insecurity, Mary’s death, Jim’s consequent suicidal depression and/or possible self-medication with alcohol, all lead to the creation of an unreliable enough parent that the son had to occupy such roles.

Also, it would be remiss not to mention the use of bodily punishment during their upbringing, which made enough of an impression on the McCartney brother’s that Mike would mention it often and Paul would never speak of it; until the early 2000′s, when he remarked how his father hit him across the face at 16/17 and he finally stood up to him and dared Jim to do it again. (I am getting ready a post specifically on it, so I hope to explore this subject further there.)

George

George’s situation is a bit harder to tell. He seemed to be the one most aware and most averse to his title as The Quiet One. Maybe it’s because he felt it was ill-fitted. He wasn’t the quiet one after all, among his own family:

I found Harry reticent and quiet; Lou was loud, vivacious, not shy at all—there wouldn’t be silence in the room when she was there—and George was bubbly like his mum. They all bounced off each other and would do anything for anyone, and they all had a wonderful sense of humor, George especially. I threw a strop one day and threatened to walk to Budleigh Salterton. I stayed away a bit but all I really did was go to the loo and kill some time before coming back. After that, whenever George went to the loo he’d say, “I’m just off to Budleigh Salterton…”

— Jenny Brewers, a family friend. In Mark Lewishon’s Tune In (2013).

But maybe the silence was meant to be read as stoicism in his more public persona:

George was cool. He dressed as an individual and often to shock, to goad reactions—usually admiration from his peers and dismay from adults. He could be quiet, and sometimes grumpy, but he was always honest and never intimidated or afraid, standing up for himself verbally and physically. “He was cocky,” Paul would say, admiringly. “He had a great sense of himself. He wasn’t cowed by anything.”

— In Mark Lewishon’s Tune In (2013).

Whatever it was, George fit right in with the rest of them and easily slipped into his role, even if he was also the first to overtly buck against it. He clearly wanted to expand beyond these parts in a play they had created within the Beatles, these fixed dynamics for the greater good of the band, which he now felt stifled by:

Q: What was the conflict with Paul? I don’t understand.

GEORGE: It’s just a thing like, you know, he’d written all these songs for years and stuff, and Paul and I went to school together. I got the feeling that, you know, everybody changes and sometimes people don’t want other people to change, or even if you do change they won’t accept that you’ve changed. And they keep in their mind some other image of you, you know. Gandhi said, 'Create and preserve the image of your choice.’ And so different people have different images of their friends or people they see.

— George Harrison, interviewed by a New York City radio station (25 April 1970).

Perhaps the Beatles, the family unit, needed to collapse in order to free its members of the fixed dynamics they had built the band upon. Maybe it was time to grow and evolve beyond the images of the people they were when they met as teenagers. And because they were different, but their images of each other often didn’t match, there was tension.

Still, I don’t think this automatically means that it was impossible for them to ever be good friends again, work together again or even reform. Everything is possible if one just chooses so.

It would certainly be different. It would not be the same. But that would be good.

[This post was born out of conversations with the wonderful @ljblueteak and is an exploration of the concept introduced by Michael Gerber in the follow-up discussion to the Hey Dullblog entry “John and Paul, Friends and Rivals”.]

#We were a family #the beatles were just four guys that loved each other #johnny #macca #geo #ritchie #jim mccartney #mike mccartney #Alfred Lennon #introduction #elision #yoko ono #allen klein #meta #my stuff

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Girls Interrupted, Chapter 1: The Institution: 1, Katya: 0 (Vatya) 2/2 - Maeve

A/N: It’s Maeve again! I’m so freaking surprised and overjoyed at the positive reception Girls Interrupted has received. All of you who have such kind things have truly inspired me to keep going on this. I can now say I'm rewatching seasons in the name of research! As always, feedback is welcome. I write because I enjoy it but also so other people can enjoy it, too. So, really, I’d love to hear any feedback or suggestions.

P.S. I’m having so much fun writing the interactions between Katya and the other queens, but I think my favorite part of this chapter is either an especially cheeky Sharon Needles line or the gym teacher/coach that is very loosely based on a straight Santino Rice

This chapter picks up right where the last chapter left off: Violet and Katya’s ice breaker activity…

Fortunately, Violet realized that she would—at the very least—have to cooperate with the menial activity. “Violet,” she supplied cooly.

Katya tried and failed to stifle her laugh. The raven-haired girl looked at her challengingly.

“Tha-that’s a good choice. Very good. I love every color!” Katya stammered as she wrote down Violet’s response. She couldn’t be sure if her partner was filling out her own worksheet, but Katya couldn’t bring herself to care that much. She just wanted this over and done with. Each moment she spent next to the cheerleader made her feel more and more inadequate. Violet was judging her; she felt small enough on her own.

“If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?” Katya continued.

This one Violet was quick to answer, “Literally anywhere but here.”

Her passive face told Katya she wasn’t going to get a better answer. I’ll just put down ‘Everywhere. She loves to travel.’, she resolved. “I think it would be really cool to go to Russia,” Katya offered.

Violet’s eyes left her phone screen. They searched the face of the blonde across the table, traveled down to Katya’s communism-inspired name card, and finally met her partner’s ocean blue eyes. “No?” Her face contorted in mock shock. “Let me guess,” she pandered, “If you could have lunch with any famous person dead or alive, you’d choose Putin.”

“Good guess,” Katya shook her head with amusement, “But it’s actually Maria Bamford.” It was obvious that Violet had no idea who Maria Bamford was. However, a quick glance at the clock told her there wasn’t enough time left in the class for her to go off on another tangent. “What about you, Violet?”

“Dita Von Teese. Next,” she urged.

“What are your favorite TV shows?” Katya continued eagerly, excited that Violet was finally being an active participant.

Violet’s response was almost instant, “Forensic Files and Sex and the City.” Everything about the brunette screamed confidence and certainty—something that came through in everything that she did. Katya wished it were that easy for her.

“I really like Game of Thrones, The Heart She Holler, and Storage Wars: Northern Treasures…..It’s the Canadian version,” Katya trailed off. There was an unspoken ‘and?’ in Violet’s expression, but she couldn’t produce a single reason for why that mattered. But it had mattered. “Anyway…What’s next?” Katya pushed through her embarrassment. “Something I’m good at? Sleeping, I’m good at sleeping. I guess I’m very bendy. Flexible. I can do theater, too…”

“Just put down cheer for me,” Violet ordered without looking up from her own worksheet. The blonde hesitated at the instruction, and Violet let out an impatient huff. “What?”

Katya was quick to apologize, “Sorry, it’s just that I thought you might say something about fashion.” She swallowed thickly. “I’m-I’ve seen you in the halls before, and you look good. Great. Your clothes. You clearly put a lot of effort into your appearance, and I thou—”

“Well, you thought wrong,” Violet spat. “You don’t know anything about me, so don’t pretend like you do.”

The blonde hurriedly scribbled down the word cheer under question five on her page and grabbed both of their papers. “Right. I’ll just go turn these in,” Katya fled the table without a thought. She had clearly angered Violet. Didn’t the popular kids like it when you stroked their egos? Katya wondered. She hadn’t meant to come off as judgemental. It was obvious that they weren’t on the same level, and hopefully Violet would understand that she hadn’t been trying to judge her. She only wanted to get to know the girl better, but she knew know how stupid she’d been to think that possible. No one like Violet would ever waste time on her. Sighing, she placed the two worksheets in a plastic turn-in bin labeled ‘4th’, and made her way back to her desk.

Katya had been disappointed that she had double A Lunch, but the forty minutes were the perfect break before pre-calculus. While it meant she could eat earlier, it also meant that she had no friends to eat with. Ginger and Bianca both had B Lunch. So Katya found herself on the steps of the stairs in the courtyard by the fine arts wing, eating a peanut butter and banana sandwich. There was beauty in the simple things, though, and Katya could appreciate the warmth of the sun and the slight breeze that late morning.

Mrs. Hugh’s room was stuffy. Katya’s funfetti extravaganza was clinging to her yet again, but she couldn’t adjust the fabric too much without disrupting those around her. She wasn’t willing to risk it. Unlike in all her other classes, the blonde always sat front and center in math class. All of the numbers made a mess in her head, and it was easier if she had fewer distractions. No one else felt the same way, though. So when Alaska tumbled in just before the tardy bell, Katya was forced into yet another less than ideal situation.The sunny cheerleader didn’t share that sentiment. Alaska flashed Katya a hundred watt smile and whispered a hello.

Katya didn’t get Alaska. Alaska wasn’t your stereotypical dumb blonde. She struggled in some areas but always kept up with the pack. So she was smarter than she looked? Big deal. What Katya failed to understand was why such a kind, sincere, and smart person would allow herself to be bullied by her peers. The cheer squad clearly didn’t think she had brain cells; Alaska was practically their punching bag from what she’d observed. So why hang around?

Miss Honard, you are an enigma, Katya assessed.

Katya’s continued curiosity over the duration of Mrs. Hugh’s introductory speech gained her a very important piece of information: if she couldn’t get the lanky blonde out of her head, she was going to have to let her in. And Katya would not be friends with a cheerleader.

Katya praised Marx for the district employee who put Bianca Del Rio in her history class. She and Bianca were unlikely friends—a high school mascot and a theater kid didn’t really run in the same circles—but made an unstoppable duo. Coach A., their teacher seemed to get a kick out of them too.

Bianca was an unexpected constant in Katya’s life. The self-proclaimed bitch was Spartacus, the high school mascot, and the two would never have overlapped if not for their shared love/hate relationship with theater. She was a year younger than Katya but that didn’t stop her from providing Katya with the tough love she needed to keep her head screwed on. Keeping her head on straight was out of the question; Bianca did what she could.

The two girls schlepped over to the far side of the school where the gym was located. Katya, who had made the dumb decision to postpone getting her PE credit for as long, was not looking forward to an entire year of physical activity. Bianca, on the other hand, basically earned herself a double off campus by taking on the role of mascot. And yes, she definitely took pleasure in rubbing the fact in Katya’s face. Sucks to suck.

The other shit thing about a 7th period gym class was that Katya would be in uncomfortably close proximity to the cheerleaders. It felt wrong—almost like she was breaking a nonexistent restraining order. What sick bastard decided the plebs in “team sports” should be forced to observe the pretty girls in peak physical capacity while they drowned in their own sweat? Katya didn’t know the answer, and you certainly couldn’t hold her accountable if they were suddenly beheaded.

One locker and a stack of unisex uniforms later, Katya found herself entertaining the musings of Sharon Needles, resident goth girl.

“‘I look spooky, but I’m really nice,’” Sharon had said when they were assigned lockers next to each other. The witchy teen had a thing for reading people—not that an anxious Katya was hard to see through—and took one look at her and saw a kindred spirit. The funfetti dress and clown shoes didn’t scream normal, either. Katya had been uncharacteristically optimistic about befriending Sharon for all of ten minutes before everything went to shit. Phi Phi O’Hara, Sharon’s mortal enemy, also happened to be in the class.

“I’m surprised you took gym, Party City. Wouldn’t want you to melt in your own sweat.” Phi Phi snarked. The playground bully reclined herself against the row of lockers across from them and examined her nails.

Katya groaned inwardly. Sharon groaned outwardly.

“Fuck off, Phi Phi,” Sharon begged. “Don’t you ever get tired of the sound of your own voice? My ears are bleeding and not in a pleasant way.”

“Eat shit and die, Shar Bear,” Phi Phi called over her shoulder as she skipped off to bother some other poor shmucks.

Phi Phi the schoolyard bully reminded Katya of the villain poodle in one of those Open Season movies. Ironically, that poodle was also named Fifi, which was funny because the poodle was also a boy. Fifi the poodle was groomed like a pretty purse dog and had a little blue bow in his hair. Katya was inclined to take Phi Phi O’Hara—who was not incredibly dissimilar to a trophy pet—just as seriously.

“What crawled up her ass and died?” Katya scrunched up her face.

“If you find out, let me know,” Sharon deadpanned. “I need a smoke.” Katya watched in amusement as the locker room’s resident goth chick removed a pack of Marlboro’s and a lighter from her leather jacket. Sharon caught the blonde’s expression and raised her fist in response. “Fight the system,” she stoically decreed. Katya shrugged as if to say “what can you do?” and gestured for Sharon to walk back to the gym with her.

Their gym class had been banished to the wooden bleachers so the cheerleaders could practice for that Friday’s Back-To-School Pep Rally. The two girls tucked themselves into a far corner on the top row, and Sharon finally lit up.

Coach Rice, who had taken attendance at the beginning of class, had stepped in to assist Coach Calhoun with cheer practice.

Katya and Sharon were fortunate enough to have an unobstructed view of the girls shamelessly throwing themselves at the older man. The majority of the bimbettes were faces she expected: Detox, Roxy, Willam, Courtney, Adore, and Laganja. What she wasn’t expecting, however, was for one Violet Chachki to be the leader of the pack. Stratford’s mean queen never sought out attention, let alone fought for it. Miss Chachki was a one of a kind collectible, and the entire student body knew it. You either wanted her or wanted to be her.

Today, it seemed her flavor of choice was Santino Rice.

Katya udged Sharon with her elbow. “What do you make of that?” She consulted the other girl.

Sharon took a moment to complete her assessment. “I bet a girl that tightly wound is a real screamer in bed,” she answered smoothly. Katya had not been expecting any response of the sort and physically toppled over as she was seized by laughter. Katya’s wheezing drew the attention of those nearby, and Sharon had to hold her cigarette in her mouth so she could flip them off with both hands. They could mind their own fucking business.

Katya was still clinging onto Sharon’s thigh when her fit died down. “You bitch!” She shrieked.

“I’m not wrong,” Sharon defended, taking another long drag from her cigarette. “Ten bucks says she’s hitting on him right now.” In her best Valley Girl impression she crooned, “Oh, Coach Rice, can you help me with my form?”

Katya wasted no time in contributing to the impression. “Can we go to Red Lobster?” The blonde begged in her best Violet-esque bedroom voice.

The absurdity of the request and the thought of Violet, herself, saying those words caused Sharon to half cackle and half choke on her own smoke. Her throaty laugh bounced off of the walls, and this time, it wasn’t just a few pairs of eyes that turned to them.

Uh oh, Katya cringed, busted.

“Sharon Needles, put that shit out and march your ass on over to Assistant Principal Visage’s office!” Coach Rice demanded.

Katya facepalmed hard. What is wrong with you, you stupid whore? She groaned. It’s your fault she’s in deep shit, and she’s never going to speak to you again. The blonde was about to lose herself in an abyss of despair when Sharon’s voice filled the room again.

“Oh no!” Sharon drawled, “Whatever shall I do?” Katya had brought her head up to witness the spectacle and was met with Sharon’s shit-eating grin.

Katya raised her fist in solidarity, referencing Sharon’s anti-establishment words in the locker room. Her spooky new friend shot her a cheeky wink before saluting her corporate whistleblower and unhurriedly leaving the building.

Katya’s eyes left Sharon’s retreating form just in time to catch Violet glaring at her.

The blonde did her best not to worry. It wasn’t like Violet could have known they were talking about her, right?

The bell rang at 3:00, and Katya still hadn’t managed to put the captain of the cheer squad out of her mind. She spent her entire 8th period dodging Bianca’s questions and pleading for some all-knowing entity to tell her just where in life she had gone wrong. Definitely new year, same bullshit. Katya had attempted to begin her junior year with a more optimistic attitude, but after a first day for the history books, she was ready to call it quits.

You win, Stratford, you win. I am but a shell of a man. Woe is the poor soul who dare enter thee, Katya scowled.

The rest of Katya’s will to live vanished when she finally reached her trusty blue Beetle in the junior lot.

“Mother, I am want to commit death,” she muttered.

The cherry red convertible parked next to Katya’s car belonged to none other than Violet Chachki. The bright red exterior was blinding under the afternoon sun, and Katya had to squint to make out faces. A swarm of girls in uniform short skirts and halter tops formed a green and white sea around her only means of escape. Not wanting to engage with Violet for a third time that day, the blonde chose to turn on her heels and pop a squat on the curb.

It was going to be a long year.

#rpdr fanfiction #katya zamolodchikova #violet chachki #alaska thunderfuck #vatya #high school au #lesbian au #slow burn #fluff #angst #enemies to friends #enemies to lovers #drama #maeve #girls interrupted #concrit welcome #tw anxiety and depression

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leona-the-danifrore-princess · 5 years

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About

This is so you know who Leona is.

And probably a bit about the realm of the Danifrore.

Let's start with what you need to know by a guided tour by none other than Leona. (From here on out, this will be in character. Under the cut.)

"Wow, it's nice to see you here today. Please save your questions until after the tour, okay? Let's start with the capital!" She shifts from her normal human form into a glowing golden lion with blue markings and bounds off. Fortunately, you landed right at the gates of the capital kingdom. The sky is a dusky... Or is it a dawn colour? You follow the lioness to a gigantic palace, and she runs in through the door.

"Come on, I'll introduce you to the Council of Six. They basically rule the realm and each member has a role to play in how things go around here. The two oldest have a little bit of a sibling rivalry, though." Six seats are in the room Leona leads you to, but only two others are there. One owlish man, dressed in green but a pseudo Edwardian suit, yet what looks like Google Glass over an eye in place of a monocle. The other seems to physically switch genders every 5 minutes, body and outfit switching accordingly. First a knight's armour, then a Georgian era dress, a futuristic skinsuit.... It's easy to get distracted. But their colour almost always stays red. They're bickering over something.

"Reala, I swear, you're being such an ass!" Green owl man retorts, and Reala sighs.

"Timoteo, I will kick you if you don't get it through your thick skull that I AM NOT DR. STRANGE!"

"I WAS JOKING!"

Leona chuckles and turns human. "That's Timoteo and Reala. Tim rules over time, and can see into the future or freeze people in time. Reala rules over reality. No, not like Infinity War. They can pop into other realities at a whim. But the result is that they have to essentially be the only Reala. I wouldn't want their job." She shows you the other thrones while Tim and Reala continue to bicker.

"The blue throne belongs to Staci, who rules over space. She can open portals to anywhere she wants. The yellow throne is fir Mind... Telepath, hella annoying. Thinks he knows everything. He is the self proclaimed brains. Purple is for Paul, who's in charge of energy. He technically powers everything in the entire realm. And orange is for Soulena. She's the one who takes care of the souls in the Soul Pool and can literally eat someone's soul or..." She trails off for a moment, shivering and holding her left hand.

"She can destroy someone without a soul if she wants to." She clears her throat, trying to retain her composure. Then she heads across the room to a pair of doors.

"These doors lead to two different places. One to the Soul Pool, the other to the assignment hall. Let's go to the Soul Pool first." She opens the door on the left, where there's a pair of beds, a pool filled with glowing rainbow light, and a pile of blankets.

"This is where the Danifrore give birth and their newborns blessed with souls. Of course, there are some of us who didn't get the opportunity to be blessed with one in time. The Soulless Danifrore have a special mark on their body that can't be hidden. And for that matter... Soulless Danifrore aren't really welcome. Especially in the kingdom of Night." She looks around the room and chuckles softly before leading you out.

"Now for the assignment hall." She opens the other door, which leads to a large circular room with what appears to be a scrying pool of some sort in the center.

"For the record, no. That pool is your gateway into the human world. If you want to see if you can be assigned, have fun convincing the Council. The Council looks at what you can do and pairs you with a human who could use your help. Of course, there's more to see than just the palace. The realm is split into 3 kingdoms. Neutral, Day, and Night. Neutral is aso called Dawn or Dusk, based on which kingdom you're in. It's pretty funny, to be honest." She smiles and walks out with you.

"Let's go to Day. That's where I'm from." She takes you to a flaming field, and hands you a bottle. She downs the one she's holding before looking at you.

"Fireproof potion. I don't know if you can handle the heat or not, so better safe than sorry." She turns into a lion again and runs off into the fire. You follow her, fireproof and come across another border. Warm and cold on opposite sides. Leona dives into the snow with a sigh.

"That's better. Each kingdom has two sides. Fire and Ice. I'm from the Day kingdom, but I'm suited for ice. Like my Mom, if she weren't Night. This way is better for me, I'll take you to..." She spots something behind you, then shoves you into the snow.

"They're doing a practice hunt. You should be careful, they'll find any reason to tackle you. Not meant to hurt, but still." She helps you up.

"We should get to the castle. After all, it's rough to run around all day and not get a snack." She leads the way as a mixed pride of lions and leopards run to the castle as well. Once there, she heads to the kitchen and grabs a platter of snacks.

"Oh, I'm not sure if you have allergies or dietary restrictions, so I got the best I could think of. Grilled caribou and fresh apple slices. I don't know if you're vegan either, so..." She takes a bite of some caribou and smiles. You accept what you want from the snack, and she stretches. A lynx bounds up, turns into a young man, and bows.

"Princess, are you nearly done with the tour? You do have responsibilities still." Leona sighs and glances at you.

"Lucky for me, my brother volunteered to give you a tour of Night. I'll take you to the border." She walks out.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm the princess of Day. Of course, that's nothing that special. I might have royal responsibilities, but I still happen to be the first Soulless Danifrore princess and a lot of the others are worried about that." She stops at the border, lost in thought. But her bubbly smile returns.

"Daemon, I hope you're ready to continue the tour, because here they are!" She chuckles and runs off, leaving you with the other Danifrore.

#rules #roleplay #just a psa #blog psa #psa #this has been a psa #leona #daemon

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wtfy-cyzj · 6 years

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*SPOILERS* CYZJ Subbed Ep. 9 reaction

Episode 9 is finally out with subs, so you know what that means: another play-by-play reaction text post! And it’s another 2-hour episode, so we’re back to the super long format.

As with previous installments, each major section of the show has a header so you can scroll if you’re looking for something specific. And, of course, spoilers and foul language kinda come with the territory.

Mission reveal and song assignments

Another two performance mission assignment – picking the third finalist pair and then establishing a ranking for the finalists – because they just gotta be ranked going into the finals *rolls eyes* - I could rant about how much I wish the producers would stop pushing the competitive aspect of the show while talking about it being about “breakthroughs”

Hao’s little goddamnit-esque laugh when the 1v1 mission is announced :/

Anybody else get the feeling Victor’s the reason Eric & JC are worried about the other team picking their song? Like Hao might give them something out of left field because he wants them to show a new side or because he thinks it suits them, but not to torpedo them – Victor, however, seems a bit of a wild card

…! I seriously thought Eric had the card down the front of his pants for a moment there!

Aw, Hao’s smile is so sweet – I already knew Eric/JC got to do one of Eric’s songs – that little “you’re welcome” bow & Victor being totally checked out makes me think that was all Hao’s doing

So, yes & no – I expected Victor to at least playfully push to mess w/ the other team – he seems kinda disengaged though

Wait, is that Hao’s handwriting?! I was admiring it when Eric first revealed the card – I know people who only know English who don’t write that nicely – kid’s definitely an artist

“How can I not be satisfied with my own song?” XD

Aw, that was really sweet of Victor to say he hopes they don’t mess w/ the song too much

I love that when Victor asks “by who” Eric & Xiao Wu both go “Drake” w/ a very soft “duh, who the fuck else” feel – and then Hao gets stoked when they start singing it

Yes! I’m so glad Jiacheng said that about Hao & Victor’s performances not being them together! I thought it about the last 2 performances, but since I didn’t really see anyone else talk about it, I wondered if it was just me. Plus there’s the whole cultural disconnect & not being part of the target demographic that added to it. It’s good to see someone who’s in the thick of it with them recognize that same thing

I want to talk about the warm fuzzy feelings I get from Eric & Jiacheng being so thoughtful about their choice and how this reinforces my desire for the show to stop leaning into the competition narrative, but Eric mimicking both Hao & Victor is too cute

I love that Jiacheng doesn’t know how to process Eric’s goofiness for a second – same Xiao Wu, same

Aw, the doodles!

Hao’s “don’t say anything” is great! – take a stand & make Victor dance!

“Okay fine, alright, I’ll dance. I’ll dance” – damn straight!

Second mission reveal

“Sprint Out” Attack? And that means…?

Meh… Another drawn out process to pick a collaborator? - it was cute w/ the ladies but since I haven’t seen anyone talking about the guests and the tease at the beginning of the episode was blah, I’m not really looking forward to it

Trying to ignore the elevator talk and not roll my eyes too hard

Meeting the musicians

Oh dear god, Yanan is so fucking cute watching Liron Man play! – tell me someone’s giffed that doofy expression and weird little wiggle! *heart eyes*

Ooh, Liron Man’s got a great smile – has nothing to do w/ anything but I couldn’t leave it unremarked upon

“The sound produced is very cute […] like a tortoise who lost its soul” – say what now, Yanan?! – that does not seem like a “cute” sound, sir!

Once again, being thoughtful and aware of the other contestants – brownie points to Jun

I’m so glad dude knows some Chinese! We don’t need another person stranded behind the language barrier even if it’s just one episode

Apparently, I love the pipa and didn’t even know what it was – now that I have a name, research will be done!

“My mother’s profession is also in the pipa” – poor girl stepped in it! XD

Here I was thinking they reacted much better than with the previous lady guests, but no, still shy as fuck

I realize that as an apparently internationally-recognized musician, Wangtao probably plays the clarinet in ways that I never could imagine – unfortunately I took band from 7th through 9th grades, including marching band, so I cringed when I saw what he plays – and I immediately had to go look up this Eddie Izzard bit because my brain wouldn’t stop going “clahr-en-ahrt” and “WEzul WEzul” until I did

Watching Jun & Yanan discuss their options is a really interesting look into their personalities – “are we choosing calm or movement?”

“You decide” – brave words, Jun – I wonder where this fell on the timeline of Yanan deciding to leave the show

It’s not going to be a famous Western artist, Samuel – it’s never going to be a famous Western artist – sorry to burst your bubble, kiddo

Bahahaha! For all Zhennan’s “leave us a good one” in the elevator, Jun & Yanan picked the most obvious choice for the kiddies – …yes, I know I’m an asshole for finding that so funny

…Does Zhennan’s shirt say “same shit different day”?!

They completely lost that whole “working w/ musicians will be hard” thing real quick

“I feel like I tortured little kids” XD

Someone’s setting himself up for a headache confusing jazz with jazzy, especially when picking a classically trained accompanist

It’s really cute seeing Eric & Xiao Wu being a little awkward with the pipa player after they seemed to calm with the previous female guests – they both barely look at her

I love arrogant!Eric, especially when he’s immediately replaced by embarrassed!Eric – I am, however, more than a little creeped out by the cartoon bull being blown around by, what, an umbilical cord?!

Aw, Jiacheng immediately defends his “arrogance” *heart eyes*

Wait, did Xiao Wu’s lyrics sound bad? Eric said it could “be a little better” so maybe the phrasing was awkward, but the translation of “lately, I’ve been scared of sleeping alone” grabbed my attention and made me wonder what prompted those words

They’re dorks and I love them

Poor Hao being left to talk to their musician alone

…! I totally blanked that this could be Minghao’s first chance to really do a traditional Chinese sound – aw, yay!

Hmm, Victor really agreed to do purely traditional? I guess “purely Chinese” doesn’t have to mean traditional instead of modern

And then we flash back and I stand corrected!

Performance day

Wait, they’re not gonna show how they chose the performance order between MH/Victor and Eric/JC?! I feel so cheated! thank god

Minghao & Victor are up first – 1v1

“I’m always ready!” *heart eyes*

Hao accidentally proposed confessing to the other contestants XD – just because you think something is meaningless doesn’t mean it really is!

What’s cuter: Hao’s reaction when he realized putting in the other contestants’ names wasn’t the best idea or Hao’s reaction to the thought of name-dropping exes?

I love MH’s logic! Victor’s trying to downplay any romantic intention behind calling out a female artist by saying it’s about respect & admiration, so Hao throws out Jony J & Gong Ge - if it’s about respect & admiration he’s not wrong, but Victor’s face says otherwise – I laughed so hard I had to stop the video and go calm down by doing a load of laundry

I’ve gotta say, as someone who liked both JJ & GG from the beginning & still really likes them and as someone who started watching specifically for Minghao, I love that he brought them up again and in such a positive light. Fans can – and do – hate on them, but he’s got every right to continue to look up to them. He’s the one who was directly affected by their actions, yet he continues to admire them and voice that admiration. I don’t get how people try to drag them on his behalf when he says things like this.

Aw, it breaks my heart a little that Victor thinks making the song about the show is “limiting” their creativity – Hao’s had a lot of fun and had made connections on the show that he obviously values – how is making an ode to that a limitation?

I love when Hao speaks in English – it always surprises me how rich & deep his voice is – like I usually chalk it up to being an artifact of the language, but it’s genuinely appealing – does that make sense? Just me?

Am I the only one who thinks changing the names to their own makes it about self-doubt, not narcissism?

Victor’s so American!

I feel like Victor having to dance is a little bit of karma for being a pain in the ass >:D

That little intro clip is adorable!

Aw, Victor did MH’s 8 hand sign!

Overall thoughts: I loved that! It wasn’t perfect, but I think, after Clap, it was Hao’s best performance by far. He definitely had fun and loosened up with Supernatural in ep.8, but this was a whole other level and I think a lot of it was from actually playing w/ Victor during the performance. I love that they switched it up and Victor had the vocal parts; he’s a talented singer so it was nice seeing him step out of the rapper role. And I was really impressed with Hao’s English. A lot of times, non-English-speakers do odd things with their emphasis on words, but he was pretty damn spot on. It makes me wonder just how fluent he actually is since we don’t see him speak it much beyond simple phrases. The one thing I wasn’t entirely feeling was Victor’s rap. It felt a little rushed? Cramped? It’s understandable since he’s working within a pre-existing song, but it did stick out to me. I don’t know why Victor was worried about dancing. That bit was less choreography and more conscious swagger, if that makes sense, and he pulled it off swimmingly. I wish they hadn’t cut to the audience during Hao’s dance break because it was my favorite one he’s done so far – less artistry and more simple fun. Can we take a moment to thank Eric & Jiacheng for making this gem happen?

“And we were constantly laughing at Victor’s attempt at dancing” – Eric! I’m glad he finally has someone else’s dancing to pick on but also smh

Eric & Jiacheng’s 1v1 prep and performance

Aw, Jiacheng gushing about the comradery on the show and wanting to help each other show their best sides XD

The idea of them singing acapella is actually really cool – if anyone on the show could pull it off really well, it’s these two

I love that Xiao Wu seems to throw out more English the longer he’s w/ Eric – he’s gaining experience and confidence in other areas – why not English, too?

Back to Eric’s crush on Dilireba XD

Aw, JC says they got close – of course they’re (probably) going to in a situation like this, but it’s cute that he’s talking about it – I know I’ve said it before, but I love that he’s so open with talking about stuff like that

Xiao Wu really looks like he’s about to cry reading those comments – and then Eric ruins the moment telling him not to cry

I already saw @bathtubofdonuts’s post talking about them incorporating the fan comments in the stage but seeing them get to that point is so sweet

Wait, so why is it important to tell us the screenwriter lady is in the audience? Was it the OST for her drama?

Aw, Hao’s so touched already

I was starting to worry the editing was going to lose the comments to those close-ups

It’s not weird to comment on how pretty Jiacheng’s hands are, right?

Wah! JC’s teary-eyed!! I was already tearing up – don’t make me cry!

Ah, okay, so she helped Eric write the song

Overall thoughts: I was sniffly & teary, but I managed not to cry. That was beautiful. This is why I was worried when they were talking about making a more impressive set design in ep. 8. They do simple so, so well, and they really don’t need a bunch of extras. Just having that one element of the comments playing behind them was so gorgeous and impactful. I’m really glad that they didn’t have accompanists on stage with them because they’d just be a visual distraction. I know I’ve talked about it in previous reactions, but the combination of their voices is incredible. I doubt Eric has ever sung a sour note in his life, and I wish Jiacheng knew how gorgeous his voice really is. His little power vocal moment toward the end? Ugh! So good! I’m gonna keep saying how happy I am that they got to work together because of this show.

“I feel that this bundle here is trembling” – I’m going to be so sad not to see this sweet kid after the show ends! TnT

1v1 performance results

Nooo! I know what’s about to happen – I’m not ready for the angst!

Poor Jun looking so nervous over there w/o Yanan

I hate this fucking setup so much. I’ve said that I think the way Jony J left the show was probably at least partially prompted by the production staff. Knowing that Jun was given options after Yanan left and that, for all his extraness, Jun is super shy, I have a hard time believing the production staff didn’t go, “So you don’t want to be in the running anymore and ~play by the rules~? Okay, so how about we make it look like there’s gonna be an elimination then you come out and dramatically withdraw? Wouldn’t that be awesome!” Jun’s never been my favorite because his playfulness can come of really childish to me, but I highly doubt he would put Minghao this scenario again for funsies.

Having seen translations of this weeks ago when the episode aired, I was not prepared to tear up. It hurts to see Hao so freaked out again and try to pull Jun back bodily. And seeing the distress on Jiacheng’s face as he says “no!” at him, my breath caught in my throat. Ugh! I’m seriously starting to cry watching JC panic more as Jun compliments them all. X(

Oh god that whole bit after the interview section was… weird. It’s pretty obvious the way Eric & Jiacheng are smiling in the background that things were cleared up. But that audience reaction… It’s so cold? This weird sort of idea that idols “betray” their fans is something I’ll never understand in kpop. (This is taking into account all the chaos that happened because of Jun’s decision, not just what made the edit.) Disappointment I get, but there’s no compassion for the grace he displayed in a shitty situation or relief that he’s going to continue performing. This whole situation was made so much worse being in front of a live audience.

The interviews after Jun’s reveal are so sweet, but why does it feel like a memorial? It’s just shy of saying “in loving memory of Wen Junhui”

Top 3 ranking performances

I love when the show has to blur someone’s phone because it’s not the sponsor phone – it’s usually Samuel, but this time Eric’s the culprit

And there’s the performance order ceremony

Minghao, Victor & Lian Pieru (pipa) are up first

Interesting thoughts about the Mechanical Era – it seems like Peiru’s a good match for Hao

So the interview thing is the only lead up we get? I don’t want to episode to be 3 hours, but they’ve got such an interesting story they want to tell and Peiru seems like such a character, I was really looking forward to the preparations – now I do actually feel a little cheated

Overall thoughts: I may have actually liked this performance better than In My Feelings. It wasn’t as entertaining, but it was a cool concept that was executed really well. I’ve gotta say before I go on though, I’ve seen people complain about the editing of other performances, but this is the first one that’s been distracting to me throughout. :/ If I didn’t know before going in that Victor was supposed to be the narrator, I don’t think I would’ve gotten that. The harsh stage whisper sort of effect in the beginning comes off kind of judgmental and, well, harsh where I was expecting more of an impartial observer style narrator. I wish his character had either done less interacting (to be an observer) or done more (to show his investment in the storyline and justify the judginess). It was a nice change of pace to see him being subdued while Hao was the higher energy partner. Hao’s rap in both performances this episode was great. They felt more natural and less stylized, which I really dig. He also showed his vocals more here than I think he really has in a while. At least it was more impactful than past performance. I would love to see a purely vocal song from him – no rap, light choreo – because he does really interesting things with his voice and we don’t get enough of it. [I just got a flash of him singing w/ Susu O.O] The choreo was impressive even if the edit made it hard to get the full effect. The end was great with the angry faces and the final little trill of the pipa.

It weirdly warms my heart to see them acknowledge they’ve been kind of at odds in their partnership up til now

Eric, Jiacheng & Lian Peiru (pipa) perform second

Uh, does Jiacheng’s overcoat have Donald Duck smack in the middle of a traditional tapestry?!

Not gonna gush about the VCR, but these two are so damn cute

We don’t even get an interview lead-in for them?! >.<

Ooh, pop-style pipa is really cool…

Somebody put Xiao Wu in a musical please - even my theatre-hating ass would pay to see that

Aw, Liron Man reacting to them uwu

Overall thoughts: I really enjoyed that. It was soft and sweet, and of course their voices are amazing. The set design was really pretty with all the florals. For some reason, thought, for most of the song Eric seemed strangely pulled back? Maybe it was because Xiao Wu was still on a high from the previous performance and the pipa is so distinct, but his parts just got overpowered to my ear. It was still beautiful.

Huh, Samuel really hasn’t gotten much screentime in this episode, even for reactions

Zhennan, Samuel & Wangtao (clarinet) are up third

Maybe it’s because he’s a good bit older, but I really appreciate the way Wangtao talks about Zhennan here – at least I assume he’s referring to Zhennan since Samuel seems pretty cool with being a kid – it doesn’t soften me to him, but it’s a needed reminder that his bravado may be more façade than arrogance – still find it annoying though *shrug*

Anyone else have to look up what an elaphure is? – it’s a Père David’s deer

Excuse me, mister clarinet man, don’t make me start thinking clarinets are sexy – I’ve already resigned myself to the fact that I’m probably gonna look up your music but that’s just taking it too far!

Overall thoughts: For anyone who thinks I’m just going to shit all over this because it’s Zhennan and Samuel, you’re wrong. I actually kind of dug that. It’s not really my bag, but I don’t dislike it at all. First off, the stage design is impressive with that cube setup. It’s really interesting having Wangtao on top of it (but also, get off the tall thing!). I would love to see a fixed cam of the performance to get the full effect. I really liked Zhennan’s solo in ep. 2, so seeing him go back to that sleepy, almost lazy delivery style is really nice. I’ve complained about him leaning too hard into his imagery (or did I cut that bit because I was being an ass?), but it was used beautifully here. Samuel really impressed me. His rap style still sounds a little like he’s trying to be someone else, but it didn’t sound awkward this time. It’ll be really interesting to see where his style goes as he comes into his own. And these are his best lyrics yet. Yes, I snorted at the LeBron reference in the otherwise whimsical song, but I really liked the honestly and depth. The dance break was beautiful and a nice escape from the more stock mainstream choreo Samuel’s been showing us. He does hip hop well, but I’m glad he gave us something more contemporary here and showed off his range. If I have a complaint it’s that Samuel’s voice gets lost in the “I don’t want” bits. I wish they’d at least brought him forward so you hear him more, or better yet, given him something a little more ornate to weave around Zhennan’s more drudging sound. His little vocalization before ZN’s final part was a pleasant surprise, and I would’ve liked more of that. They’ve made the best use of the accompanist so far, too. The whole thing was lovely and haunting and understated. Of all their stages, I think this performance has been the most effective in delivering the message they wanted to get across.

Jun & Liron Man (handpans) are up last

Why are the lead-ups getting shorter?! We’re going straight into the performance with no interview or VCR. I get that he’s not eligible for votes anymore, but I still want to see something, man

Total Pure Moods vibes here – fun fact: I wanted that CD so badly that both of my (divorced) parents got it for me for Christmas that year – I was a weird kid

Aw, is he singing along with Jun?! So cute! *heart eyes*

…off the tall thing, please…

Overall thoughts: If you’d told me before this that I would eagerly watch a Jun solo three times in a row, I would’ve laughed in your face. His style just isn’t for me usually. And yet, I watched this three times in a row (I zoned out and just listened to first time, watched the second, and read the lyrics the third). Thank you, Yanan, for picking the handpan. I never would’ve thought the distorted ring of a handpan would complement Jun’s very unique vocal quality as well as it does. This is the most at ease we’ve seen Jun on the show, and I don’t mean relaxed or confident. It didn’t seem at all like he was performing or was “on” but like he was singing for the sheer personal pleasure of it. After his stress in previous episodes, it was so good to see. As for the song itself, I have no fucking clue how to describe it. It reminded me of the weirdest things without really sounding like any of them. I mentioned Pure Moods, but also The Little Mermaid and “What Is Love” – as in the song from A Night at the Roxbury (listen to it, young’uns, and be confused). There were others, but I’ve blanked because that last one was a little too wtf.

“He was definitely enjoying it, really” – you know it’s true when the guest is saying it

Wait, no contestant reactions even?! Why are we getting robbed of the good stuff in this episode, goddamnit!?

Points reveal for the finals

This is for the ranking going into the finale – plus starting points which seems weirdly unnecessary?

Hao & Victor got 66 votes – why so low?

Xiao Wu & Eric got 73 – better but still really low considering the stages & past scores

Zhennan & Samuel got 72 – why so low?!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad my boys are leading, but they all gave incredibly good, polished stages and those scores really don’t seem to reflect that. I mean, they’ve given out 80s before – are the panelists given criteria or is it purely a matter of preference? – the contestants all look a little disappointed with the scores, too

After show nonsense

“passionate teens Zhou Zhennan and Samuel, gentle warriors Wu Jiacheng and Zhou Xingzhe, mood players Xu Minghao and Ma Boqian” – I don’t know why those labels amuse me so much but they do

I’m glad we get to see Samuel & ZN react to the handpans because they were so cute with the other instruments

Damn, Samuel really is a quick learner

Did he mean to play Eric’s song? He’s definitely got a bit of an artist crush on Eric, but that’s adorable if he was trying to play it. And impressive that he did it well enough on something he just learned how to get a sound from that the others recognized it!

My personal rankings

MH & Victor

Jun

Eric & Xiao Wu

Zhennan & Samuel

Usually picking my rankings is super easy. My favorite and least favorite have been leagues away from the others, but I really liked everybody this week :D

And now, another long wait until the subs come out for the finale...

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years

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Skam Austin episode 1 reaction

I wasn’t planning on writing long-winded reactions to Skam Austin, I thought I might just have fun with the clips as they happened. Because there’s such a different context with this remake as opposed to the French/German/Italian ones, that it’s hard to take in! Julie Andem’s direct involvement, the Facebook factor, that it’s American rather than European. I’m processing this one very differently. I’m not even sure how to gather all my thoughts about it.

But then a few things got my attention so here’s episode 1 a week late. I don’t think I say anything that hasn’t already been said, lmao, unless you want to hear about my high school English unit on The Scarlet Letter.

Clip 1 - Frozen is #relatable

Let’s point out all the signs we see during Poonam’s opening monologue:

“Be a winner, be you”

“Work hard, finish strong”

“Always victorious”

“Shoot for the moon”

a board full of college acceptances

IDK guys, I think there might be a theme about the pressure to succeed here.

Poonam’s monologue and the overall themes about pressure and success may seem generic or #relatable depending on your POV. For me, I found it worked, mostly because it’s funny in how mundane and teenage-y it is and the bit about Elsa from Frozen is so weirdly specific, and I knew a million kids like Poonam in high school. But I do get how Julie could have done something more topical considering the world of shit that is going on in the US politically and culturally, including in our schools. (I don’t know exactly how much of the show was filmed before or after the Parkland shooting and I don’t know if/when/how it will be mentioned, but I certainly hope they address it. That’s the kind of issue that Skam is made to cover: things that are directly relevant to the youth of the culture.)

Poonam is talking super loud and were she not serving up our thesis statement, the teacher would tell her to shut up.

I tried to listen to what more of what the teacher actually says, and it’s hard to make out, but of course she concludes with “draw a connection to something happening in present day” … hmmmm….

I was really confused because the test Megan looks at in class appears to be a state-mandated standardized test, not a regular exam you’d take in class. You can clearly see on her paper that it says 68th percentile, which means she scored as well as or better than 68% of students tested. But Marlon seems to be grabbing a similar-looking paper and he says he got a 99, like … is he in the 99th percentile? And Shay’s in the 100th percentile somehow (which cannot be a thing because you can’t go higher than the 99th, lol)? Is there an actual score out of 100 on these tests? Are they talking about a different test?

I’m not from Texas so I don’t know the format of this specific test, but I took a similar standardized test for my state and this is not how I remember it. Also we didn’t go around sharing our scores on those tests the way we would a regular math test or even the SATs or something. And no one studied for those things.

Meg swaps the numbers around (68 to 86) and he says, “That’s not bad” in a somewhat patronizing way so you know she feels great about it.

The music for the Kittens’ slow-motion walk is very apropos lyrically.

I like Shay, she’s charming. There’s a lot of American “bro” talk and shit like that in the dialogue and it gets cringeworthy, but I think she and Tyler seem pretty natural and I buy them as friends.

Clip 2 - Survival kit

As people have pointed out, The Scarlet Letter is incredibly thematically relevant to Meg’s past. In fact it’s so on the nose that I’d almost say it’s overkill, however that book is so widely taught in American classrooms that yeah, I buy it, it works for me. At least they’re keeping it fairly subtle so far - we notice it because we know the S1 story, a new viewer wouldn’t necessarily realize the connection. And I have seen so many versions of the classroom scene where the inspirational teacher openly talks about the themes of the novel/impact of the historical event/educational topic that just so happens to coincide with whatever’s going on in the protagonist’s life, that yes, this is actually relatively subtle.

Pointless personal anecdote #1: In high school I had one of those stereotypically artsy English teachers and every year she had her students do a mock trial based on The Scarlet Letter, where the goal was to determine which of the main characters was the least guilty. It was a huuuuge project and worth a ton of our grade, and the year we did it, there was tons of drama and crying and name-calling outside of the classroom due to everyone taking this trial 200% too seriously. I drew the team representing Dimmesdale (the minister who fathers a child with Hester Prynne) and miraculously everyone else on the team was smart but chill; we were the only team that didn’t blow up into drama, and we won the trial. I had a great time doing the project, but as time went by I started to think about the point of the trial and whether it was a good assignment, and how our biases crept into the result. Because I remember when kids drew the Hester team, they groaned, because they knew they wouldn’t win. One of the male characters was going to win. Chillingworth might win even though he’s an evil piece of shit and some readers think he straight-up poisoned a dude, but he wasn’t Hester. Hester was definitely guilty because she had sex outside of marriage and had a baby. And if we want to tie this back to Skam, it gets me thinking about how Eva/Meg is the one who loses everything and Jonas/Marlon’s life seems to be more or less intact. The girls lose their friends and in Meg’s case, her hobby/passion, while the boys are OK. Then the same thing happens later with Eva where P-Chris is just a fuckboy but Eva is a slut. Because the girls are the guilty ones.

Megan’s homework mentions the “life-changing event happens to Hester when she is in the forest away from her community. What do you think this says about the role of community in the outcome of her life?” hMMMMMM. The next question is also about the story centering around a “strong female character.”

Shay talking to Meg while stretched out on her back sure is quite flirty.

Meg’s parents are arguing and contributing to making her feel like a loser, building up some of that pressure (theeeeeme). She has a survival kit which implies that this is a regular thing and she feels the need to escape a lot.

I do think Julie is getting in some nice shots of the city and making these teens look all picturesque.

Clip 3 - Sad sad eating alone time

I wish Poonam had a Frozen lunchbox.

I'm wondering what Meg’s and Poonam’s relationship is supposed to be. Are they old friends? Are their parents friends? Are they acquaintances who share a class? Does Poonam just want a sounding board to vent about her busy life? I knew people like that in high school.

Poonam is self-centered in a rather teenage way, not just in talking about herself and being insensitive, talking about how quitting extra-curriculars makes you a loser, assuming Megan doesn’t care, etc. but also how she ditches Megan to go sit with her choir friends instead of like … inviting Meg to sit with her and the choir kids.

There's the THEME!!! of community again as Poonam encourages Meg to be more social, because people who engage in community have happier, healthier, more successful lives. The clip starts with both Meg and Abby alone, but ends with Meg alone and Abby not, because Abby is part of a community and Meg is not.

Also Meg has to be super checked out not to notice the giant Talent Night posters everywhere, including right next to her. It’s too bad they probably won’t go into this but I feel like she’s depressed on a level that Eva wasn’t, which is likely due to losing not just her friends but also purpose of being on the dance team.

“Talent night is the one night of the year where the entire school comes together to celebrate the foundation of our social hierarchy - sports.” Lol, no it’s not. I guarantee you it’s not, no matter what your school is, but especially not this school where sports appear to be a big deal. Try Homecoming.

Marlon is the worst. The woooorst. It really feels as if he, Shay, and Tyler are a group that Meg is just not in, in a way that I didn’t feel with Eva. Because while Eva was often excluded and was the third wheel to Jonas and Isak, Isak was also in some situations the third wheel to her and Jonas. Megan feels like she’s completely on the outskirts of this group. She’s friendly with Shay but I wouldn’t say that they’re friends, while Eva and Isak had some history and were decently close on their own. Some of the other remakes emphasize this too - in particular Italian Eva and Isak (Martino) feel like great friends in their own right. Plus if Marlon does opt to hang with Megan over his friends, Shay and Tyler still have each other.

But for fuck’s sake, Marlon, why didn’t you ask your girlfriend to get some damn food with you? Unless you didn’t really go for food...

Clip 4 - Conservative

How many times has Meg had to listen to Marlon’s music? Yet when she asks him to go do something with her, he doesn’t want to do it. Dump him.

In terms of Marlon’s comments about sports culture … OK, on the one hand I would say there are bigger issues in sports culture, particularly in high school - for example, how sports gets more funding than any other high school program, just to name one issue. His thing about sports culture being about winners working hard, losers are lazy, is maybe not the most relevant, it’s kind of trite. However, I can see a so-called “woke” teen saying something like that, much like I can see a teenager rhapsodizing about Elsa from Frozen. And I get it, it fits in thematically.

Megan used to be on a sports team (and dance teams often do all kinds of competitions so I’d consider it a sport) and clearly misses it so maybe he should chill. And don’t ask your girlfriend to go with someone else when you know she doesn’t have any friends.

Dump him.

Clip 5 - Talent Night

Besides the dance memorabilia, in her room Meg has a poster for a costume party around Halloween, which is possibly when she hooked up with Jo.

Marlon is the worst!!! Worse than other Jonases!!! At least they canceled ahead of time, Marlon just bails last second to go do something fun he likes. Rude and inconsiderate! He doesn’t even invite her along to the concert (and gives an excuse in the next episode, but dude, if you’re going to CANCEL YOUR ESTABLISHED PLANS AT THE LAST SECOND you should at least ASK).

Plus she really needs an escape from her house at that moment due to her parents’ fighting. Great job, dude.

The B-roll is nice. Again, good shots of the city.

Discussion was happening on @softnorwegians’ Tumblr about the plausibility of Talent Night in terms of location, setup, importance, etc. and I agree with a lot of the criticisms. I absolutely do not buy an official school-sponsored event taking place at what looks like a bar with no chaperones or adults around. Talent Night would probably be held at the school, in the auditorium or gymnasium. Maybe a community center. Maaaybe at a local coffee shop or restaurant, something like that, but that’s pushing it IMO - there would be so many people there that you need a large venue. This doesn’t seem like a small school. My high school did talent shows and there were always tons of adults present, teachers, parents filming their kids.

Also, Talent Night is typically not to fund sports teams! Talent Night is something put on by student government maybe, or if any school group is going to fundraise from it, it would definitely be the arts programs. Or it would be to raise money for charity. Sports teams already have a bunch of fundraisers, also a lot of them are for the individual teams, like swim team will have one, football will have one, etc. I guess it’s not impossible, but it feels a bit contrived. But there are probably some schools that do Talent Night for the sports teams, IDK. (Also, if it’s for the sports teams ... it seems weird to me that the athletes like Jordan don’t seem involved, either on stage or working at the venue? All fundraising I did for the school clubs/activities I was in, I had to do some actual work for the event - sell tickets, serve food, clean up, etc. Lol, here it seems like the sports teams are just hanging out and reaping the profits while random kids earn some money for them.)

Some of the graffiti in the bathroom:

Sk8ers gonna Sk8 (I’m blanking on where this came from originally, I think it was on an IG post or text?)

Alt er love

Daniel + Grace

That last one, believe it or not, is what made me interested in reacting to this show. Because Grace is our Noora, there are hints of our William being called Daniel … and yet, what’s the context of that graffiti? It makes no sense when you think about it. New girl Grace surely doesn’t know Daniel. Is that supposed to be a hint to future Noorhelm, or is it a shoutout to something that won’t happen - like is Julie teasing us?

I mean, Grace and Daniel are very very common names, but the choice of graffiti was deliberate as we can tell from the other Skam references.

Lol @ me thinking Julie won’t do Noorhelm again but let me have this for now.

The Facebook/fandom reaction to Grace is an example of one of the worst parts of doing a close remake. If this were a completely new show and no one knew the plot, the reaction would have been, “Oh yay, Megan met someone nice :) Maybe they can be friends :) ”

But because she is supposed to be The Noora, a bunch of people had expectations for how she was supposed to act and (especially) look, and when she didn’t fit their expectations, complained. First of all, Grace was quite pretty to me so I didn’t even understand the backlash on a superficial level. Second, get the actual fuck out if you think any of these girls aren’t attractive enough to be a part of the squad. This show has never been about depicting the hottest, most physically perfect people. In fact that’s a reason people like Skam, that there are a variety of body types, their teeth, skin, and hair aren’t perfect.

Pointless personal anecdote #2: “Let’s give it up for Natalie on nunchucks” is how I want everyone to greet me when I walk into a room, I’m going to have to start practicing.

Jo is great! So good. “I want to see your dumbass routine.” “Ballet shit?!” That whole bit was awesome. What a true friend.

This was so awkward. Painfully awkward.

General Comments:

The IGs are nice work, I’m sure FB pulled some strings to get the pictures backdated. There are some good clues in them - Meg appearing in the old Kittens pics and the Mannequin challenge, Abby has pictures set in Megan’s bedroom where she has clearly cropped out Megan. Abby and Marlon have pictures of a beach from the same day.

Poonam’s super paranoid text about posting things on IG made me laugh a lot.

I didn’t talk about the acting. It’s ... not great in a lot of places, and sometimes it takes me out of the scene (especially in the Talent Night clip) but it’s not something I want to focus on a whole lot. The cast appears to be teenagers, many of whom have no acting experience, and I’m not totally comfortable being negative about them (NOT saying that no one can criticize their acting, just that for me personally I feel bad doing it). Besides, the fact of it being a direct remake is the more pressing problem for me. As for positives about the acting, I think Shay and Jo are great and have some natural comedic timing.

I am not rooting for Meg/Marlon at all. At all. No version of Eva/Jonas has induced this much annoyance in me. There’s a lack of chemistry, Marlon is more inconsiderate than the other Jonases, and they don’t seem to have much in common.

Unpopular (?) opinion but I have no problem with naming the Jonas character Marlon, or calling him marlonf9000 on IG. It’s an affectionate homage, sure. I guess my only problem with it is that Marlon the character sucks so far and Marlon the actor deserves better.

Man, I don’t even know what to feel about this show at this point. It feels so surreal. I don’t hate it? I’m not angry at it? I’m disappointed that we have to get yet another S1 more than anything. I actually want this show to succeed, believe it or not - even if I don’t care for it personally, I would rather have a lot of other people love it than not.

I also feel stupid for making any type of speculation on what could happen! Because we’re going to come up with these elaborate theories about how Julie could adapt the story and take it in a different direction, and it’s likely to be all for nothing and we’ll just watch an awkward redo of a scene we’ve already seen.

I do want to say good job for increasing the cast diversity. That was a main fear, that Skam Austin would be lily-white, and we’ve already got 5 prominent WOC in the cast (including Zoya) which is terrific.

I don’t take the millions of views on the first clip/first episode super seriously since FB was promoting it pretty hard and I heard something about a three-second rule? I’m more interested in seeing how the viewership on the episodes/clips manifests week by week.

It’s also clear that a lot of viewers were confused by the format and don’t get the concept of real-time clips vs. the compiled weekly episodes, which I can hardly blame them for since it’s not typical.

#skamus reactions #skam austin reactions

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deconstructionofworkforpayot · 3 years

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My positionality: Why should my child unlearn the same things I did?

Is it ignorant or fear of change that every generation has to fall trap into the same oppressing system? from our great grandmothers, who we identify as heroes of the society, our mothers, the cornerstones? Are we really going to be that generation that carries the silence of oppression passing it on to our children? Fortunately, I became a mum at what I call an ‘awakening age’ and aspired to be a different mum since then. I’m not saying other mums out there are not enough or that my mum is bad, but I have seen so many unlearned practices from her life.

Growing up in a ‘broken family’ without a father and having uncles play the father figure role had me yearning to covet the rights women have neglected for years and derange the patriarchal system. I mean, I identified my mother as mum and dad, although I hate calling her dad. Yes, she took on both roles, trying so much to not have me feel the gap of his absence. Trust me, I don’t hate my dad and never did, even when he was still alive. I hate the choices he made of neglecting me, not that I want to pin his actions with unjust things happening in my life, but somehow his behavioural choices were distorted. Growing up with my mum had me realize that I had to do better than the woman dad left in my mum who could not fully be my role model. I identify myself not as a strong woman but as resilient. One who has been down several times and still woke up.

I’ve seen how my male cousins were treated better than anyone else, how they would be part of family gatherings and have a say while we were only involved for refreshments. I don’t hate my upbringing, maybe had I had a different one, I wouldn’t have learnt. But who am I kidding? This patriarchal system doesn’t only affect us within our families; it’s a societal norm. Crazy right? But we can’t shy from the reality that this social system is used by males to control females (Yifei, 2011). I grew up angry at how I had no voice, how everything was dictated to me, how the behavioural choices imposed on me by society were to their benefits and not what I want but, in the name of teaching and grooming me to become a submissive wife.

It’s sad how I have witnessed this in my community, where these ‘happily’ married women were victims of gender-based violence and had no one to run to. It's frustrating how some of these women in marriages taught submission raised children who were victims of domestic violence and how everybody else knew, but none took a step to intervene. This has led me to not give childish advice to my clients in terms of marriage and relationships. It has redefined how I relate to people regarding their religion, gender identity, spirituality, etc.

Funny how as we grow, we’re encouraged to not think of anything else besides marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I respect such a communion, especially when it's consensual. But what angers me is how we cannot choose who we want to marry, how, and when. We actually not even asked if we want to get married. But does it matter? We’re merely a land that should be fertile to these undeserving males we call men in our societies. What kind of men would do such to a woman? What kind of mothers would allow this to their daughters?

The yoke we carry of thinking about your family names whenever we have to do something, I’m not saying drag your family on the mud. But why must it always be women who should take that responsibility? When I fell pregnant, I was such an outcast. Mind you this is my body. Funny how I had no feelings, their main concern was how what I’ve ‘done’ ruined the family’s reputation. I felt like such a possession. Or am I? you know when everyone can say something about you?

I had gone against religious ethics, and dogma. I had become such a sinner that deserved to be in hell, well no one saw me as a woman, not even as a person. I remember how I was oppressed for actions I could not undo. For a child I could not abort. For a child I loved at the very moment I realized I have conceived.

Google (2021) this image shows how accepting to say nothing is actually a choice favoring the opposition.

Hence, I learned how much I could not have my child go through the same treatment. I fought to break the silence and to take a stand for myself and wellbeing. I had to find my identity, in a place that seemed like a war zone I was tired of being deprived of my thinking, and entitlement to my behavioural choices and decisions.

Social constructs that made other women so proud of being numb, satisfied with mediocre, revoked feelings of strength and preparedness for war in me. I had to fight for the many women coming after me, before me, my mother, my daughter but mostly myself. I had to fight and still fighting the logic of being okay with not questioning, being okay with acceptance in the name of ethnicity, language, geographical location, family status, religion, race, gender and even culture. I’m still fighting the idea of how in a romantic heterosexual relationship the man has to be taller than the girl, darker than the female, be more educated and earn more money than the female. I’m still fighting the “okayness” with polygamy but stereotypes with polyandry. The okayness with men having many sexual partners and the labelling over women who do the same. The okayness of men using the services of sex workers and how sex workers are immoral. I’m fighting the okayness of a brother sleeping for 10+ hours and sisters waking up at dawn, preparing food for the entire family menders.

Positionality is a term used to explain how a person sees life, sees the world and position themselves in a situation, political and or social context (Darwin Holmes, 2020). Although ones understanding of life is everchanging, it is also important to recognize and understand how the change affects people around us.

Google (2021) the emphasis is on acknowledging that as people we learn and change, hence ones positionality is dynamic.

My positionality has been impacted upon by personal experiences with regards to gender, from the idea of what gender is, and how as soon as a child is born there is confinement of who and how they should behave and think. Such experiences have taught me to see a person as a person without labels, so what if treat a transgender? So, what if I treat a sex worker? Why should my ideas control my therapy? Its of very importance that I look at the person holistically and consider their positionality’s in everything. At the end of the day, I should be concerned with how the client’s occupations have been affected and what can be done to assist not analysing the persons preferences, gender identity, and behaviour. Assuming a person’s positionality is so important because it allows me as a therapist to get the clients holistic overview of self and life.

Google (2021) these are the factors affecting ones positionality.

Hence at Kenville community, we look beyond the client’s family status and treat everyone as equals. Be it a doctor, one of our own OTs and a child from a disadvantaged family. We understand that quality of life is impacted by health, environment, race, gender, and social status. We have also looked at programmes we can use to educate our community through the maternal health programme. Which has included individuals who are from South Africa with an attempt to alert our communities that outside of skin colour lives people. Its actually not important which gender you assign with, which race you identify yourself as. We are people. We are women.

I have this great urge to have my daughter, sisters not having to unlearn social injustices. how about you?

Reference

References

1. Darwin Holmes, A. (2020). Researcher Positionality - A Consideration of Its Influence and Place in Qualitative Research - A New Researcher Guide. Shanlax International Journal Of Education, 8(4), 1-10. https://doi.org/10.34293/education.v8i4.3232

2. https://www.dictionary.com/e/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/positionality-300x156.jpg

3. https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fmiro.medium.com%2Fmax%2F794%2F1*prT891D9WB1Nm3xyG3r7OA.png&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2Fscholar-activism%2Fblog-8-when-are-we-positioned-out-of-bounds-3df6c7ee8dad&tbnid=_GtBNmlokchE_M&vet=12ahUKEwimt7yMrNvvAhUU4RoKHQhbAxYQMygFegQIARAj..i&docid=b-ownNp2UorWiM&w=794&h=505&q=positionality%20quotes&ved=2ahUKEwimt7yMrNvvAhUU4RoKHQhbAxYQMygFegQIARAj

4. https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.slideshare.net%2Fmattmaycock%2Fethnography-group-15th-july-2015&psig=AOvVaw3LL8lzR2rGXMI_zXSF2ZaK&ust=1617476909120000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CA0QjhxqFwoTCKCq55eh4O8CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAK

5. Yifei, S. (2011). China in the "Post-Patriarchal Era". Chinese Sociology & Anthropology, 43(4), 5-23. https://doi.org/10.2753/csa0009-4625430401

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stevenuniversallyreviews · 7 years

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Episode 59: Rising Tides, Crashing Skies

“I guess it’s pretty bad, but what’s a regular old guy like me supposed to do about it?”

Heyyyyy Ronaldo.

Y’know, this episode isn’t as bad as I remember. Watching it the first time, it stuck out mostly for its terrible timing after an episode as powerful as Sworn to the Sword, and looked even worse when its Steven Bomb was done: Keeping It Together, We Need to Talk, and Chille Tid are not great company when you’re only a middling episode. Even now, I think it would’ve been smart to put this just before Reformed as a coda to the human-centric chunk of early Season 2 episodes, or right after Chille Tid as a buffer between Malachite and the Week of Sardonyx. But watching it again, I can admit that Rising Tides, Crashing Tides isn’t a terrible episode.

Now, it’s not great, but what it lacks in substance it (sort of) makes up for in comedy. Where Crying Breakfast Friends is self-parody in show form, Ronaldo is self-parody in human form—which by the way further solidifies placing this episode nearer to Reformed or Cry for Help, which both feature CBF—so he’s a great lens to show a human reaction to the Homeworld Gems’ return. And if you’re going to use a gimmicky character, you might as well use a gimmicky format.

The saving grace of this episode is its lovingly accurate portrayal of a teenager’s crappy documentary. With the exception of the trying-too-hard reenactment jokes (the flopping fish for Nanefua and Ronaldo’s hand for the handship), I laughed way harder than I thought I would at its format-specific humor. Ronaldo’s terrible cutting is perfect, as is that weird but universal obsession with “official-looking” title cards (undercut by Comic Sans and plodding text effects).

But if you’re mining for comedy gold, look no further than the description assigned to each character. Some are general jokes (Kiki’s is “Pizza Heiress” and Mayor Dewey’s is “Mayor Dewey”) while others reveal Ronaldo’s perspective on his interviewees (Sadie’s is “Horror Movie Enthusiast” and Jenny’s is “Intimidating Teenage Girl”). Still, the obvious winner is Steven.

Still, the jokes directly from Ronaldo are, as always, hit and miss. Considering there’s not too much to talk about in Rising Tides, Crashing Skies besides the humor, I’d like to take a moment to examine what makes him so inconsistent.

Subtlety is where Ronaldo flies highest and falls hardest. I’m sure it’s difficult to use a light touch on such a broad character, but Zachary Steel is great enough at going full ham that he doesn’t need that much help from the writers. Ronaldo’s obliviousness is bound to make him say dumb things, but this sometimes makes incongruity itself the punchline when it should be the bare minimum for a gag. There’s a reason why everybody almost everybody grows out of “so random!” comedy, and it’s because there’s no depth to it beyond the standard surprise that most jokes have.

Still, this shallowness isn’t limited to lolrandom humor. Take, for instance, Ronaldo’s narration over his nighttime exposé. He looks right at the camera and talks about how brave he is to be sneaking around with a camera. You see, normally a hero doesn’t have to say they’re being brave, so we wouldn’t expect someone to say that they’re brave. But he does. That’s, uh, that’s it. That’s the whole joke.

There are tons of ways to show that a character is self-important that don’t involve them essentially telling us “I am self-important.” And Steven Universe usually does just that: Ronaldo’s brooding in Full Disclosure, his smug yet incorrect explanations of how the world works in Keep Beach City Weird, and smatterings of this very episode (like calling his home movie “an investigative report shot camera vérité”) all reveal how pompous he is. Which is great, but it only makes his “I’m so brave to be doing this” line more frustrating, because it’s not even teaching us anything new about him.

But on the flipside, the understated interviewee descriptions I mentioned above and small moments of Ronaldo acting like a real person as he futzes with the camera work so well because he’s usually so broad, and seeing him act like a real person is an incongruity that adds fuel to the joke (rather than being the joke itself). So you have to make him annoying and loud to make the quiet moments land, but not too annoying and loud because then we just hate the guy and the jokes get lazy.

Again, this can’t be an easy balance for the writers—and I haven’t even mentioned the additional pressure to provide constant humor with a flat character whose only role is to be funny—but that doesn’t mean I have to enjoy when the scales tip too hard on the obnoxious end. The reason Ronaldo works best in small doses is because the longer he’s on screen, the more likely it is that the writers will slip up and make him go full Ronaldo. Rising Tides, Crashing Skies does surprisingly well, but there are still plenty of moments where its hero is a pain to watch.

One thing that helps any wacky character is a straight man, and Peedee ably fills the role despite his own quirks. Atticus Shaffer hasn’t had much to do since Frybo beyond the occasional line, so it’s great to hear him spend a whole episode grounding Ronaldo with his signature blend of solemnity and anxiety. We already know from Keep Beach City Weird that Peedee understands his brother better than anyone, so putting him on the documentary team provides some much-needed commentary on an episode about commentary. I appreciate his introduction as an interview subject to reestablish his character, considering his lack of focus throughout the series, before making him Ronaldo’s semi-willing sidekick.

In terms of that whole subtlety thing I was going on about, I love that Peedee’s maturity and capability isn’t overplayed: he fumbles through filmmaking just as much as Ronaldo and spends as much time freaking out as he does calmly explaining things. Peedee is unusually responsible, and Ronaldo’s behavior makes him look particularly competent, but he’s still a normal kid and not a flanderized child prodigy. We already have one extreme character here, and I’m glad the crew doesn’t make the mistake of thinking we need another one to balance him out.

But it’s the third Fryman that gets the line of the episode, summing up what an adjusted adult almost has to be in Beach City. He’s aware of how powerless he is in a world of magic and monsters, but he sighs and accepts it instead of letting this knowledge cripple him. He’s got a family and a business to take care of, and he seems to be succeeding at both, so there’s nothing to be gained by worrying about things that are out of his hands. Most of the documentary’s interviewees have the same mindset, highlighting that Ronaldo is distinguished by his unwillingness to normalize weirdness rather than being the only one who notices it.

I’m surprised we don’t see Pop Fryman’s counterpoint, Kofi Pizza: Beach Party is an entire episode about Kofi facing a similar sense of powerlessness as Mr. Fryman with the same righteous rage as Ronaldo, so he’d fit right in (plus we see everyone else in his family, so why stop at Nanefua?). Perhaps having someone who actually agreed with Ronaldo would dull the episode’s message, but it would’ve been nice to see someone acknowledge that despite his many faults, our documentarian is correct.

The Crystal Gems are responsible for Beach City being a magnet for disaster, and seeing them from the point of view of an endangered civilian could make for a fascinating episode. Beach Party and Rising Tides, Crashing Skies come closest, and Lars’s own acknowledgment of how horrible such daily dangers can be in The New Lars is a turning point in his characterization, but otherwise we don’t see the consequences of being the Crystal Gems’ neighbors in a serious light until the end of Season 4. I feel like there’s a way to throw Ronaldo a bone in this regard, but considering it’s Ronaldo, I’m not gonna lose sleep over it.

Okay, what else. The Crystal Gems are obviously gonna be funny in a Ronaldo episode, as I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of seeing him treated with open disdain (so long as the characters aren’t actually cruel like Lars). We don’t get any introspection from empathy machine Steven about how dangerous the Gems are, partially because he already did that in Beach Party but mostly because this is a breezy episode despite its pointed criticism of our heroes. It’s great that Ronaldo only wants them back because he selfishly wants a weird city regardless of the risks; that is, it’s great in a character sense, because Ronaldo is despicable and this lack of concern for others is true to who he is.

I don’t know for certain if the final shot is a reference to Ronaldo’s polarizing nature, but I’d like to think it is. Especially because, despite myself, I’d be clicking the same button as Steven. If you hated this episode as much as I did when I first saw it, I’d suggest going back and watching it on its own: it’s much better by itself than it is as a dead stop to a marathon’s momentum.

Future Vision!

“Wait, so the hand wasn’t here to snatch up humans for a human zoo?”

Ronaldo brings up the Beach City Wind Farm, which isn’t a thing that we see at any point in the show, but Little Homeworld is will feature a prominent windmill, so maybe this is another proper prediction?

Still no word on if the Great Diamond Authority thawing out the cryogenically frozen pets of the one percent, but considering Ronaldo’s track record I wouldn’t be surprised. I guess if you squint it could be a reference to the bubbled Corrupted Gems, but his theories are usually more concretely proven.

(But seriously I think Ronaldo might actually have a future in intergalactic diplomacy.)

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

It’s not as good as Keep Beach City Weird, but that doesn’t mean Rising Tides, Crashing Skies is bad. In any case, it’s sort of an entity unto itself: it’s strange to categorize it as something other than a Ronaldo episode considering he’s the main character, but the unusual format puts it in a whole other category for me: this is the Documentary Episode, featuring Ronaldo.

Top Fifteen

Steven and the Stevens

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Winter Forecast

On the Run

Warp Tour

Maximum Capacity

The Test

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Future Vision

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

No Thanks!

4. Horror Club 3. Fusion Cuisine 2. House Guest 1. Island Adventure

#rising tides crashing skies #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

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news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog · 5 years

Text

Gender reveals are awful. (Trans)gender reveals are a different story.

Not all gender reveal parties are bad — in fact, there’s one type of gender reveal that might *actually* be considered good.

I know it’s hard to believe, especially when you consider the path of destruction our gender reveal hysteria has left behind. In 2017, a gender reveal party that involved explosives sparked a 47,000 acre wildfire and left $8 million worth of damage behind. Gender reveal parties have caused broken ankles and generated mass chaos. No one is safe — not the people forced to watch these parties or, far more seriously, the children forced to live out their parents' highly gendered expectations.

SEE ALSO: Sam Smith opens up about being non-binary in revealing new interview

But not all gender reveal blowouts are this normative. Over the past few years, a certain kind of gender reveal party has gone viral for a very good reason: They’re led by and for trans folks.

Though they may imitate the form of a traditional, regressive gender reveal, they're nothing like them. And that's a beautiful thing.

Gender reveal parties for adults, not the unborn

Hallmark, make this a card.

Image: heather green

When Heather Lundberg Green son's Adrian Brown came out to her as trans in 2018, neither Green nor her son knew how to tell other members of their family. Coming out as trans was "not the kind of things you announce to grandparents over Facebook," Green told Mashable in a phone interview. Not telling people also carried risks.

"People thought I had three children," Green said, "I only have two. Or people thought I had a daughter who died at some point … I just wanted to announce to my friends and family, 'This is awesome.' And I'm choosing joy and acceptance and support."

Green and her son explored different ways they could tell people en masse and still somehow inspire an affirming response. Ultimately, the two settled on the idea of a gender reveal. Instead of a traditional reveal, where expectant parent announces their future child's gender, Brown — who was 19 at the time of his transition — would announce his gender publicly, on his 20th birthday, with a photoshoot and party.

The power reversal was clear and transformative.

"I thought — you're nuts," Brown said of his mother's initial idea. "There's no way this is a good idea! This is the biggest taboo for trans people ever."

Once Green and Brown started to formulate their subversive plan for a gender reveal, Brown felt more confident.

"I've seen so many gender reveal parties on Facebook and online," Green said. "And when you see a gender reveal party you say 'Congratulations!' So that I thought would be a funny way to bring people in."

This is the one kind of party worth leaving your house for.

Image: heather green

The family pulled together a photoshoot, complete with blue balloons and other traditional gender signifiers. Green posted the photos to Facebook not expecting much of a reaction beyond family and friends. Within 24 hours, however, the they had been shared over 10,000 times, according to Green. Local news picked it up. National news picked it up.

Shortly after posting, Brown said, messages of support poured in from across the globe. He was surprised by how uplifting most of them were ("I expected more, a lot more hate," he said) and how clearly other trans folks were moved.

The pair had tapped into a real emotion. Unlike other gender reveals, this was one didn't go viral for setting off a major fire or letting a crocodile go loose.

It went viral for the most radical of reasons — because it was fundamentally kind.

Brown's reveal wasn't the first of its kind.

In 2017, Corey Walker, a 27-year-old trans Floridian, went viral after his friends threw him his own (trans)gender reveal party. Walker had thrown a similar party for his trans partner years before.

My friends threw me an "it's a boy" party to celebrate me starting testosterone. I'm blessed af to have so much support!!! pic.twitter.com/EcFWzg2rbO

— Corey (@seedubya18) May 25, 2018

"I thought it would be a cute surprise for him to come home to after he went to the doctor to get his first shot of testosterone," Walker told Metro UK at the time.

These reveals share a core emotional element which primed them to go viral. Traditional gender reveals celebrate predetermined, doctor-assigned sexes. Parents don't ask their fetus how they identify — they take whatever gendered information their doctor gives them, then assign it to their unborn children. By contrast, Walker and Brown's reveals celebrate sex and gender self-determination.

It's a vital contrast.

The implications of this reversal are profound, both for the trans population and for cis folks who struggle to live under a gender binary.

Anachronistic gender reveal parties aren't great for anyone, trans or cis

Imagine if your family was this photogenic.

Image: heather green

The physical consequences of gender reveal parties (massive fires, blows to the face) are familiar to anyone who's seen a viral video in the past few years. The cultural consequences are, in many ways, more damaging in the long-term. These reveals send a strong message about who defines gender and what that assigned gender means.

"Gender reveal parties reinforce gender stereotypes and expectations that send messages to young people that there are guidelines, requirements, and limitations to only two genders," a.t. Furuya, Youth Programs Manager at GLSEN, an organization that advocates for LGBTQ students, told Mashable over email. "This message is harmful in that it limits the possibilities and autonomy one has over their identity."

The problem is twofold. It isn't just that gender reveals use an antiquated definition of gender. It's that they rely on exhausted gendered symbols and codes. Boys are coded blue and girls pink. Gifts are often distributed accordingly. The entire operation is a regressive throwback.

After all, gender reveals are only able to be celebrations because people continue to attach such intense emotional significance to gender. For a lot of parents, having a boy means something holistically, seismically different from having a girl. In this paradigm, biology, not culture or behavior, determines personality type. Parents pass down their gendered expectations onto their children.

Gender reveals are only relevant to a population who believes that there are two genders, and that they are fundamentally and biologically distinct. It's a destructive narrative, and one that seems out-of-place in an increasingly queer and trans-friendly society.

That hasn't slowed down the success of gender reveal parties, though. Furuya isn't surprised that the country seems to be suffering from a bout of extreme gender-normative nostalgia.

"In the age of social media, gender reveal parties are seen as a way to 'creatively' share an old tradition," Furuya says. "In actuality, they unconsciously reinforce dangerously outmoded stereotypes — like ‘pink is for girls and blue is for boys’ — that many in our society have already moved away from. People who are not negatively impacted by gender roles do not have to think about the effects of these traditions — but everyone really should stop to think about their effects."

Maybe folks should stop throwing gender reveal parties. Or maybe they should take a cue from Adrian Brown and Corey Walker and let young people design their own.

Gender self-reveal parties are great. They also can't be the only model.

A party like this is perfect — for some people.

Image: heather green

Brown and Walker have set an incredible example for trans folks seeking to celebrate themselves, all while coming out to large groups of people. The reveals are subversive, celebratory, affirming, and fun. They communicate humor and, by extension, safety. These emotions are key to virality and, for some people, acceptance.

Even as they imitate traditional reveals, neither Brown nor Walker’s parties replicated the traditional model. Brown wasn’t forced to use blue balloons just because he publicly identified as male. That was a personal choice, as it should be for anyone planning to come out.

Want to plan your own reveal? Use whatever damn color of balloons you want. Post photos of the event to Facebook, or don’t. The central conceit of a (trans)gender reveal party is that it’s based on personal choice, not cultural predetermination.

(Trans)gender reveal parties also aren't for everyone. If you're thinking of throwing a reveal party for a transitioning friend, please consider whether or not they want it. And for the love of god, don't do the party as a surprise. One of the worst things you can do to someone trying to publicly announce their own gender identity, often after a long period of personal exploration, is to predetermine something else for them.

Just do the right thing and ask.

In the meantime, if you're an adult, consider not attending traditional gender reveal parties and reframing the way you talk about gender identity with young people.

"Some best practices in speaking with young people about gender is giving them space to navigate it freely and without judgment," Furuya says. "You do not have to be an expert on gender terminology or best practices to be a supportive parent or guardian. For many young people, knowing that you will continue to love them, protect them, and support them, minimizes serious mental health risks, allows for them to focus on important things like school and social engagements with their peers."

This attitude resonates. Recently, Brown and his mother attended an event for International Transgender Day of Visibility. They offered a "(Trans)gender reveal photoshoot booth" for anyone who wanted it. The booth was grounded in the same core principles as Furuya’s — freedom from judgment (Brown and Green never asked participants to reveal their gender) and support for every person who took a photo.

The booth was extremely popular. People carried "The future is non-binary" signs and played with blue and pink "gendered" balloons that didn’t match their assigned sex at birth.

"Everybody was so happy to have the opportunity," Brown says.

It was a party for anyone who needed it. There were so many people there. There'll be so many more to come.

WATCH: Lyft reveals its IPO price range and fundraising goals

#_author:Heather Dockray #_uuid:1e429183-6700-3f48-a14a-941955a5b342 #_category:yct:001000002 #_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL #_revsp:news.mashable

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katsukiskatsudon · 8 years

Text

VICTUURI FICRECS

last updated: 2017-01-30

I’ve read a SHITTON so here we go,,, hope u like it

Will probably be updated semi-regularly as I continue to delve into the ao3 tag.

MULTI-CHAPTER

Maelstrom

by feelslikefire, 43682, time-loop!au

“Victor Nikiforov is poised to win gold in his fifth consecutive Grand Prix Final. He has the world at his feet, is unparalleled in the sport--right up until a snowstorm blows into Sochi, and he finds himself repeating the same day over and over and over. He stumbles over Yuuri Katsuki, and everything changes.”

I absolutely adore this one. There is a quiet and mature tone to it (even though it’s started off by a weird witch lecturing Victor). And the decriptions are so good it felt as though I was there with them. I read the first paragraph and I knew that this was going to be good.

Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches

by Reiya : wip, 126945 , rivals!au

“Hatred and love are two sides of the same coin and even though everything changes, some things are still meant to be.”

Already a fandom classic, this is a monster of a fic that really handles it’s characters with love. Nothing feels unmotivated and the descriptions are so good it’s crazy. The rivalry is handled beautifully and it exceeded my expectations by a large margin. Emotions done right and very engaging(!). Worth a long and rewarding read.

Constellations (Things You Left Unsaid)

by DasWarSchonKaputt : wip, 22346, role-reversal!au, college!au

“What is Katsuki Yuuri’s greatest asset when competing? If you ask the media, they’ll tell you it’s his flair for artistry, something that shines through in his earnest, winning performances. If you ask Yuuri, he’ll tell you that it’s his coach, Celestino, and the answer will sound as fake as it is.

The truth, though, is something that Yuuri has always known. He wouldn’t be half the skater he is without his prescription for anti-anxiety medication.”

Victor as a 18-year old soon-to-be senior debutant and a master of seduction is right up my lane. Add the long hair and the unwillingness to conform to gender norms and you have perfection. Loving the articles in this fic and use of chats and social media. Cozy college au.

Are you a library book? Because I can’t stop checking you out.

by AriWrote : wip, 8183, bookstore!au

“Yuuri works at his family’s bookstore. Viktor is his favorite author. Somehow he doesn’t realize the cute stranger making eyes at in him in the self-help book section is his idol. Yuri just really wants a break.”

Just as cute and light-hearted as it seems. Phichit is an absolute darling in this and I’ve fallen so hard for Yuuri as a bookworm. Reading this was like the fic equivalent to sipping a pina colada at the beach. Like taking a vacation. Truly lovely.

SkateSquad™ groupchat

by stxmph : wip, 47122 , au

“pikachit added katsukidon, vitya, RussianTiger, Leo♫, and (gay)uanghong to the chat.

pikachit renamed the conversation “ SkateSquad™ ” (groupchat log of the skate squad)”

This fic is (almost) entirely in the style of a groupchat. It’s messy, the author is overly self indulgent and it’s often kind of inconsistent but at times so brilliantly funny it makes the flaws pale in comparison. I’ve been up laughing late at night just because I couldn’t stop reading.

I’ll Give You My Heart

by Aliis : wip, 14009, soulmate!au

“In a world where people’s hearts are displayed on their chests, broadcasting to everyone if you’re looking for your other half or you’ve found them, Victor Nikiforov was a bit of a rock star– he’s twenty seven years old and his heart is still perfectly whole.”

In a fragmented and poetic way this story is heartaching. Heartbreaking even. It follows the canon storyline somewhat (Victor is Yuuris coach etc) within this very interesting take on soulmates. One of the first fics I subscribed to on aou, which says something, doesn’t it? Over all wonderful and it’s definitely one of my favourites.

when the ice melts in the snow (that's when you'll love me)

by lilithiumwords : wip, 47179, demon!au

“Katsuki Yuuri is the worst incubus in the Underworld. Viktor Nikiforov is his human target.”

Yuuri is a demi-sexual sex demon and have never really felt desire until he gets assigned the human (or is he...) Viktor. (But don’t expect too much explicit sex. We’re seven chapters in and they still haven’t had sex yet). It works. Really well, actually. So well I stayed up way to late because I felt I needed more. My headcanon is that Yuuri is somewhere on the ace scale and I really enjoy when I find someone with the same idea?

(offer me) that Deathless Death

by melonbug : wip, 15580, curse!au

“It was the curse he and his family were fated to: Death would come for him the moment he turned eighteen, and he could only hope the flimsy wards passed down through the generations would protect him. But Death always won eventually, Death would snatch him up as he had all of his ancestors.

But somehow he wasn't what Yuuri had expected. He was a constant presence in his life, barely there. A vigilant spectator to his burgeoning skating career, a gray haired man with a soft expression who found him again and again, waiting for him to let his guard down, but becoming something more, over time.

"Don't be careless," his sister told him, but they were all careless, in the end.”

In which Yuuri learns to live with Death over his shoulder. I love the premise and its wonderfully executed. It feels ancient it feels real and the descriptions is sometimes so wellwritten its absolutely crazy.

Strawberry Bubblegum

by rightofpostponement : wip, 20455, soulmate!au, (semi)canon compliant

“Smile, skate, win. Wash, rinse, repeat. It grew so mundane, after a while. Years and years of being at the top inevitably soured the view, no matter how beautiful. Victor was tired; tired of trying to surprise people, tired of living without love, and tired of making history without anyone to share it with. It takes one night, one dance, and 16 flutes of champagne for Victor's life to be flipped on its head.”

Cuties! Lovelies! This is basically a collection of sweet, amazing, wonderful romcom cliches. They have a playful pillowfight (that grows intense u kno what i mean), Hiroko embarrases Yuuri with baby pictures. Heck, they even go go disney world! Toothrotting.

Looking for Courage

by icterine : 17035, soulmate!au, college!au

“Victor’s soul rejoices with their meeting. A fleeting attempt to steady a drunken stranger sets his heart afire. It’s all he’s ever dared to wish for. (Yuuri meets his soulmate and forgets.)”

Just as the author says, “there can never be too many soulmate aus…”. Especially if they’re all as well written as this one. The characterization in this is absolutely wonderful. The clueless Yuuri, the hopeless romantic Victor. The pacing is great and I love love love Chris (and Phichit) in this one!

a great desire to love

by lily_winterwood, 21724, body swap!au

“For some strange, inexplicable, fantastic reason, Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov are trading places.

Kimi no Na wa AU.”

I went into this fic having no idea what kimi no na wa even was and boy am I glad I did. I finished this in record time. Intriguing, exciting, action-packed.

The Courtesan

by haganenoheichou : wip, 25,448, courtesan!au, dystopia!au

“Viktor is the most popular Courtesan in Hasetsu House. He is beautiful, he is graceful, he is everything Yuuri has always wanted to be. Except Yuuri is an Untouchable virgin at the age of twenty-three and a universe-class klutz. What happens when Viktor takes an interest?”

This authors worldbuilding is really freaking cool! Some influences from things like ‘Memoirs of a Geisha’ mixed with a dystopian future such as ‘the Hunger Games’ (the civilians clothing and luxiurious customs) with a sci-fi setting. If you, like me, are a sucker for stuff like this (starcrossed lovers with talk of galaxies) it’s pretty awesome.

ONE SHOTS

i have my body (and you have yours)

by astoryaboutwar : 8147, soulmate!au

“Yuuri overflows with the weight of things that have been said, trembles with what remains.Their shared zeroes flicker in time, the early morning light muting the red glow to faint numbers. In the amber dawn, an idol is only just a man.

(Or: the Soulmate Timers AU where things happen out of order, secrets are kept, revelations are had, and they arrive where they need to be in the end.)”

I remember being absolutely smitten when I first read this and I still see why I described it as “words strung together to create a fucking symphony”. It’s poetic, heartbreaking, beautiful.

the lounge

by fan_nerd :13453, therapy!au

“Dr. Yuuri Katsuki is a psychiatric therapist in Detroit who specializes in alcoholism. The last person he expects to see in his chair is retired figure skater Victor Nikiforov, whom he used to idolize.

Victor is a very different man than the one who’d been subject to the constant flashes of cameras in the prime of his life. He is broken, and so terribly human.

But then, so is Yuuri.”

Strange concept maybe but executed skillfully. Cute story about two lost, middleaged, men who find eachother, Cameo by my favourite mom Yuuko as a sweet tea-drinking 40-year old.

cover story

by fan_nerd : 8210, roommates!au

“Yuuri stares down at the person standing in the doorway. The stranger hisses, “Who do you think you are, anyways?”

Quickly, before he can really think about it, Yuuri responds, “I’m Victor’s boyfriend.”

It’s a lie, but the words feel good in his mouth, and for some reason, he doesn’t want to take them back.”

Yuuri is a workaholic that needs a place to stay. Victor is the playboy looking for a roommate. The relationship is painfully gradual in this but when they do get together, oh, is it sweet.

leave the banner there

by sixpences : 2904, canon compliant

“"Victor has a crush- a full-blown, goofy-daydreaming, struggling-to-sleep-at-night crush.“

Victor pines, entertains his rinkmates, and wonders what the heck to do with himself.”

Short and sweet read. Pining Victor and fun russian rinkmates. I think I really needed Victors pov post-banquet and this helped me fill the gaps.

#yoi ficrecs #yoi fanfiction #yuri on ice fanfic #victuuri fic #victuuri ficrecs #victuuri #my post #sry for the many tags pals i just want to contribute #yuri on ice

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missingteethblog · 4 years

Text

05/01/2020 - 19:26

Decided to change my user. I want to start a (one person - me) band called Missing Teeth so I changed my user to match that. Hopefully nothing actually happens and no one finds this but whatever I’m past the point of caring lol.

Third day in a row that I’ve woken up at exactly 7:23am to go to work (no alarms, just this exact time for some reason). And every time I’ve woken up to a song from Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday And Everyday Is Stupid (Crywank), so that’s a little weird since I shuffle my entire playlist before I go to sleep. Their final album also came out yesterday and it’s so beautiful and perfect. Every song flows into the next, and it tells a really intimate story about the band. Needless to say, I love it. Definitely not their usual content but what else do you expect from a band called Crywank releasing their final album titled Fist Me ‘Til Your Hand Comes Out My Mouth?

I think the situation with J (fucked up relationship, description in the last update) is sending me into a depressive episode (I mean, I already deal with chronic depression, but it’s making it a lot worse). I spent my entire lunch at work today listening to my ruminating playlist about it and just felt so, so numb. I was so stupid. How did I not see what was going on? Why didn’t I listen to my friends? I’m awful and a part of me believes that I deserved it. I hate him. That felt weird to type, but I hate him and I hope he knows that.

Another part of me is trying to convince me that I am, in fact, being over dramatic and unreasonable. Trying to tell me that he was right. That he doesn’t deserve my hatred. That I am wrong and that I’m lying to everyone to get attention. It’s really fucking me up. That’s what emotional abuse does to you though, and I have to keep telling myself that what I experienced really did happen and that I have every right to feel upset and angry. He treated me like an accessory, because I’m thin, white, and conventionally attractive, and used to be so, so in love with him. He used that against me and manipulated and lied his way around everything. There’s a reason he has stayed the exact same since I met him 3 years ago, and that I have grown into a stronger and more mature person that he could never hope to control. That’s why he ran away when I confronted him that last time, because he knew that I was right and there was nothing he could do to twist everything around. He knew he fucked up, but it saddens me that that was the only time. He is a coward and a liar, and I fucking hate every inch of him. He ruined me, and continues to haunt me. His best friend (who I also used to be close with and trusted more than him because she treated me kindly) also turned out to be quite manipulative, so that’s fucking me up as well (not as much, but it still makes me upset). But did it really happen? Or is my brain making all this up to make me seem like the good guy? I don’t know anymore. I know he fucked me up, but the damage is done. Emotional abuse is fucking awful to try and recover from. I guess it doesn’t help that I only figured it out a couple days ago.

Talked with one of my coworkers today, and I feel bad for calling him incompetent at his job (even though he is) and generally not liking him. He’s actually really nice to talk with, I found out that he’s been through a lot of shit, but he’s a really chill dude. AND he said that he thinks I’m funny and asked me how he’d never talked to me before. We talked a lot about what we wanted to do after high school (I told him about wanting to get a bullshit arts degree, and then buying a van and driving around and generally vibing with the earth) and he wants to be a therapist (cuz his experiences that he’s been through would help him help other people - which is really nice to hear :) ), we talked about tattoos and which ones we want to get once the studios open back up, and about drugs (he knows almost every plug in the city, so now I can get actual drugs instead of just weed and nicotine!!). It was a really pleasant interaction, especially after everything from a couple days ago. I really needed it and I’m glad it happened.

Also, apparently I’m helping make a movie! This person I follow on tiktok posted about wanting to make one and dropping instagram users in the comments to DM us about it, and we’re genuinely making plans and assigning roles (currently I am filming and editing - which is something I haven’t done in years, so I’m really looking forward to it) and we’re going to all meet up once we’re older and the time is right so we can finish making it. I think this is going to turn out really cool, and I’m super excited for this project! I’ll definitely keep updates.

Instead of engaging in self harm tonight, I’m gunna smoke the rest of my weed and numb everything out by getting high. Really looking forward to it. Not looking forward to running out of weed though :( oh well.

Currently listening to Fist Me ‘Til Your Hand Comes Out My Mouth by Crywank.

#frog posts #updates

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dreadfuldetour-blog · 7 years

Text

Letting Go

There is a very fine line between a hero and a fool. Sometimes, it depends entirely on the outcome after the trial. If you are successful, you are heralded as a hero, lifted up and used as an example to anyone in that situation. If you fail, you are told that you should have known better, and you are used as a warning of what not to do. We all want to be heroes, but we often play the role of fools.

I can recall being friends with a girl who I didn’t much care for. She was the most self-centered person that I had ever met, she assumed that she knew the world better than anyone, and she held on to her bitterness like it was keeping her alive. For years, I held on to the relationship, hoping that she would change, staying in her reach so that she wouldn’t be alone. It started to poison me, drag me down, and yet I held tight to the belief that I was doing a good thing, that I was a hero. It became evident when she got worse, and her temper started evolving into a tremendous napalm, that I finally abandoned her. I could not handle how she was treating other people, how she looked down at everyone, how she controlled them with her victim-hood. The funny part was that she treated me the exact same way, and yet I valued other people more than myself.

As Christians, we seem to love relational martyrdom. We give our resources to a person who is undeserving, because that’s what Christ did – sort of. We see ourselves as great heroes, sacrificing our time and energy, and especially our health, on destructive people, only to find ourselves destroyed in the wake of their turmoil. We perceive this sacrifice to be glorifying to God and especially to people, when it is in fact the opposite.

God calls us to a list of priorities, organized in a way to make our lives better and to help us figure out who comes before who in our day to day lives. When asked about the greatest commands, Jesus answered to love God first, and then our neighbours as ourselves. I’ve heard that the second command is all about other people, but it’s also about loving yourself and then loving people. We are the soil, well-tended to and healthy, and only from healthy soil can we grow and nurture relationships. It’s like when you’re on an airplane and get the security breakdown from the attendants. They tell you to put your mask on before helping anyone, even your children.

For a very long time, I thought that other people had to come before myself and my needs. There is some truth to this, about being selfless and focusing on other people, but I know from experience that sacrificing myself for someone else’s health has always been detrimental to my own well-being. Family, who is supposed to be your first line of support and love, expected me to cater to their personalities, accepting them the way that they were while they picked apart who I was, repulsed by some of my qualities. They assumed they were trying to fix me, but in fact they were only making me hide. God made me, and the character I had was not broken simply because it was kinder than the family of bullies I was born into. Still, I assumed that because they were family and because I was supposed to be selfless, I had to give them time and energy, I had to sit and take the verbal assault rather than defend myself, because that was honoring.

I don’t have to tell you how wrong that was, and how much it hurt God. I was not a hero, I was not honorable, and I was not strengthened by the experience. In fact, it destroyed who I was, who God made me to be. I was allowing people to put their own decorations into my temple rather than kicking them out and guarding the door.

You are worthy of rest, of taking breaks, of saving yourself before you save others. Help people, but make sure you’re well enough. If you’re barely strong enough to keep your own head above water, you can’t save other people from drowning.

How do you walk away though? How do you finally say enough is enough? Learning to say ‘no’ seems to be a lot harder for women, because we’re programmed to be more empathetic, so we tend to have a harder time hurting people from a very young age. We are taught that other people have to come before us, and then some of us are taught that we are not worth as much as others. I think it has a lot to do with worth, and what you think yours is. If you think you are nothing, hurting yourself for others is a lot easier to do. You don’t think that you are hurting anything valuable so you don’t mind the damage.

Another thing to understand is that your worth does not come from people. Even better a phrase is that your worth CAN’T come from people. People make mistakes, and they will let you down, and that’s alright. It means that you can’t rely on them to tell you who you are and what your value is. Another thing is that they can’t know you, all of you, and your potential. Even people who have known you from birth don’t know everything about you and who you are. You keep things hidden, you have secrets, and you have different faces for different groups. They did not make you. Like when an author creates a world, only they know every corner of every room in their story. They know about the every characters past, what they like, what they don’t like, and what their dreams are. We, the reader, may not see all those details. We may not know that Carl really wants to be an astronaut, and our interactions with him never take us to that detail, so we never get to know that part of Carl. People assign value to the parts of you that they know, but they cannot fathom your entirety.

Saying ‘no’ is loving yourself enough, loving what God made enough, to take care of it. You are as precious as the people around you, and understanding that will enable you to care for others better than you could have ever dreamed. You can love them from a place of strength instead of a place of weakness.

Letting go of people that you care about is hard. It is often followed by a season of mourning, which seems odd but is very normal. You’re mourning that relationship, which is a part of the process of pushing past it. You recognized the value of that person and don’t want to see them continue in their pain, but that is their choice. God gave us choice so that we could love Him and others genuinely instead of as slaves. Satan, on the other hand, tries his best to force us to love his ways and his ideas, thus the bondage people find themselves in. Remembering this, and the place that the person is at, helps us understand where people are at and why, but it still involves choice. Their freedom and happiness is not your responsibility, nor is it in your power to do. God and God alone is their freedom. You are not Jesus.

How do you tell that person that you’re done? That was always my struggle. People would make it sound easy, like all I had to do was tell them that I was out, and then walk away. It’s never that easy, especially when you love that person. I also believe very strongly in being honest, so I can’t just begin distancing myself by pretending that I’m always ill. Sabotaging relationships is not loving that person. How does one go about being honest but not hurtful though? That’s even harder.

Keep in mind that opinion is not truth, it is a perspective. It’s honest, sure, but the truth is far more reliable. The truth is that they have damaged your trust, that they broke your faith in them. They have treated you like less than what you’re worth and have spoken things over you that are lies. They have transgressed too many times and you cannot allow any further damage. You are protecting yourself from what Satan is trying to do through them.

Telling them this feels impossible. When I’ve gone about telling them that they have hurt me or that their behavior is hurting others, it has never gone well. By that, I mean that it’s never sunshine and rainbows. They get angry because you are no longer allowing them to go on like they have. They are hurting because, like you, they know that your relationship is on the line and they will have to go through their own version of mourning, which for them will be steeped in hate towards you. That’s Satan’s plan in action, to hold them in bitter bondage so that they cannot change. They will blame you, they will blame everyone, but they will have a hard time blaming themselves because that demands change. You could use the kindest words in the world, you can be sweet and non-confrontational, but you have to be firm. They may try to bully you, tell you what you’ve done wrong, point fingers in every direction known to man, but you cannot relent. Forgive them, and leave.

The rest is up to God.

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