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obsidianfr3sk · 3 years

Text

true colors

@renegadesnet event 10: pride

↪ [ “But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things. Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.” ]

Summary: Two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.

Simon wanted a bigger flag.

No. He wanted two. The biggest pride flags he could find.

AO3

Hello, friends!! I hope you’ve been having an excellent pride month and have been eating a lot rainbow cake and pissing off a lot of conservatives with the mere fact of your wonderful existence:’) As my contribution to this month and the event organized by @renegadesnet, I decided to write a fic focused on my favorite gay dads and their sons (bc I’m me, and you should have seen this coming.)

Before you read, I want to give a trigger warning: at the start of a fic I talk about a homophobic attack, which is not graphic or violent per se (it’s someone in the middle of the night taking away the flag they put outiside the house), and I do discuss about internalized homophobia during some parts of the story. If you read it and are sensitive to this kind of stuff, proceed with caution and take care of yourself <3

Also, this entry is a collaboration with my talented mother @healing-winston-pratt, who is going to be uploading some fanart of this in a near future, so keep an eye on that👀 she’s the best skjhkjds thank you for accepting to collaborate, I feel this is a great bonding activity and I hope we can do this more often✨

I need to update my tag list because a lot of the people who were included are not active as active as they were before/changed their URLs. But I’m going to tag @the-wee-woo-rita @lackadae @all-weather-is-bad @chiyuki-hiro bc you guys are the only ones who are still active users who I had on my previous tag list lol

With that said, I hope you enjoy this fic. I think that despite the angsty parts, it came out really fluffy and domestic, it was fun to write. And to all my queer silbings who are reading this: I am very proud of you.

But I see your true colors shining through.

I see your true colors, and that's why I love you.

So don't be afraid to let them show.

Your true colors,

true colors are beautiful like a rainbow

Simon couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t know he was gay.

There was a time when he didn’t know he was gay, of course. He was probably too young to even comprehend the meaning behind that word. And there was also a moment in his life when he felt embarrassed about it, and sad, and angry, and really, really scared, and probably thought that no matter how hard he tried, he was never going to be happy living the life he wanted to live.

That the pain was never going to end. That he was going to be miserable for the rest of his existence, and that maybe, there was no point in existing if he was going to stay like that until the day he died.

But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things.

Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.

That was the reason why, the first year after the Day of Triumph, he told Hugh they should get a rainbow flag for their house. They went to one of the first stores that opened at the mall (that had just been remodeled after twenty years of being abandoned) and bought one at a not so affordable price. Simon offered himself to install it on one of the fence pillars and had to spend thirty minutes listening to Hugh telling him that maybe he should let him do it, that the ladder Kasumi had lent them was ratty, and that Simon was going to fall.

Fortunately, Simon didn’t. He did almost fall, though, when he was about to pass out from stress because seeing Hugh getting all anxious, made Adrian cry and he started to basically beg him to come down, given that now he was convinced he was going to fall, and hearing his dad saying “Look what you’ve done to the kid, Simon” didn’t help at all to make Adrian (or Simon) feel better.

That night, there was a thunderstorm and Adrian used it as an excuse to sleep on their bed. As soon as he cried himself to sleep, two hours later, after their dads did everything in their power to calm him down, hugging him, giving him kisses, and assuring him his aunt Tamaya wasn’t going to let the storm hurt them, Simon raised his hand to high-five Hugh and tell him that they were amazing parents, just to realize he was already asleep. Simon silently judged him for sleeping so soundly while his son was having a crisis instead of sleeping.

When he woke up (at five in the morning) Adrian was looking out their window, with the Baby Indomitable blanket on his shoulders. The sky was still cloudy, but it wasn’t raining anymore.

“Darling, what are you doing?,” Simon told him. “Today’s Sunday. Let your daddy and I get some more sleep—”

“The storm took our flag,” Adrian blurred out.

Hugh was already awake too. “What?”

“You said the storm wasn’t going to hurt us,” Adrian said, turning around to see them, “but the storm took our flag.”

Simon got out of bed, looked through the window...

And, yes, the flag was completely gone.

But for some reason, Simon knew it hadn’t been the storm.

“Why would the storm do something like this?” Adrian asked.

Simon didn’t know how to answer that. Luckily, Hugh did.

“Because the storm is homophobic, son.”

Adrian laughed out loud and then asked his dads if they could have pancakes for breakfast. He had already forgotten about the storm and the flag.

They didn’t. Neither of them ever forgot about it.

While Simon and Adrian ate their pancakes, Hugh went to his office because, according to him, he needed to check something. When Adrian finished his breakfast and went back to his dads’ room to watch TV, Simon stayed in the kitchen, doing the dishes, and Hugh finally came downstairs. He was pretty quiet, and Simon thought that it probably was because he had told him to eat the burnt pancakes he didn’t dare to throw away, but after he finished them all, he said:

“I lied.”

Simon threw a glance at him. “When did you lie?”

“When I said the storm was homophobic,” Hugh answered.

“Well, of course, you lied, love. Storms don’t have strong political opinions about gay people.”

Hugh didn’t laugh. “What I mean is— that it wasn’t the storm.”

Every joke Simon’s brain could come up with disappeared at that moment. So he continued doing the dishes, and Hugh, thinking he hadn’t made himself clear, continued talking.

“It was someone else. It was a person. I saw them on—”

“I know,” Simon interrupted him. “I know. I’ve always known.”

But even if Simon knew, he still told Hugh to show him the footage because four eyes were better than two (especially considering that the owner of those first two eyes needed to wear glasses). It was all useless, though; the storm made the image all blurry, and the only thing they could see was someone taking it and running away in the middle of the night.

Simon wanted to think that it was just some dumb teen whose friends had challenged him to do it. But when it came to things like those one never really knew.

On Monday, they had promised Adrian to take him to the park that was a few blocks away so they could teach him how to fly a kite, but the thought of going out made him feel as if something bad was going to happen to them if they did, so Simon told Adrian that he and Hugh were feeling sick and that they would stay in their room to get some rest. Adrian asked them if they minded that he stayed there too because he was in the middle of watching a movie he had never seen before.

“Only if we can watch it with you,” Simon answered.

It was a weird day to be alive. They really just stayed there, watching silly cartoons with their kid and listening to him ranting about the weird proportions those characters had.

During the afternoon, Adrian told them he was hungry, so Simon went downstairs to look for something they could eat. He was thinking that maybe they should order something from that Chinese restaurant Tamaya had taken him the other day, when Hugh entered the kitchen and told him Adrian had asked him if he could bring him water.

Simon felt his hands were trembling while he looked inside his wallet for the paper where he had written the restaurant’s phone number.

“Do you want to get another flag?” Hugh asked him.

And something hurt.

Something hurt inside of him. Something started to cry, and to scream, and to flicker, trying to make him invisible to the world.

And it told him, the same way Adrian had told him he was hungry, that someone had taken him by surprise and made a deep cut on his chest.

But Simon didn’t allow it to come out.

He just said: “No.”

And Hugh answered him: “Me neither.”

He called the Chinese restaurant to order some food, while Simon went to their room with Adrian again and cuddled with him, trying to tend to the wounds of that something that was bleeding out inside of him.

Little Simon was crying, and screaming, and flickering, and needed adult Simon to take care of him.

The next day, they talked about the incident with the rest of the Council during their lunch break. It was one of those few occasions the six of them were together in the same room during their work hours. Tamaya was furious about the flag situation. She ranted for a good five minutes without anyone interrupting her about how fucking horrible people were and that she was going to find that little piece of shit and cut his hands off. Kasumi nodded in approval while drinking some horchata she had bought for herself, probably thinking about how to ask Tamaya to let her join her revolution (something she didn’t need to do, since Tamaya always included Kasumi in everything she did). Evander, on the other hand, was very quiet, something that made him feel a little bit relieved because he was not a sensitive person and Simon didn’t want him to... Evander the situation.

He didn’t say anything insensitive that day, though.

In fact, he said something… helpful, even.

“What about a flag made of light?”

Hugh rubbed his eyes and Simon knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth.

Because he said that phrase constantly.

“Shut the fuck up, Evander.”

But Evander didn’t shut up. “Dude, think about it. No one would be able to take down a flag made of light.”

And everyone realized that, now, it was not only one of those strange occasions when the six of them got together to have lunch during their work hours; it was also one of those strange occasions when Evander had an idea that was actually good.

So after spending another hour discussing how they were going to make it work, they decided they were going to lit up the building in rainbow-colored lights.

Tamaya and Hugh were the ones in charge of almost all the operation because Evander said he had already given them the idea, so he didn’t need to do anything else (and then got mad at Hugh when he told the media he was the one who came up with it). Kasumi helped them, but was especially insistent about putting a trans pride flag somewhere in the building, and after they agreed with her, she personally hung it on the main entrance of Headquarters.

They started turning the lights on each night of June since that yeat.

Hugh and Simon still didn’t get a flag. Three nights after they told their friends about what had happened during the thunderstorm, Simon was woken up by the sound of someone crashing against the trash cans and almost jumped out of the window with his dagger on hand to slay whoever was trying to break into their house, but when he peeked out to see what was going on, he realized the “robber” was Kasumi, who had put a bunch of small pride flags on some pots they kept on their porch and started crying as soon as she realized Simon was watching her, not because she was upset the surprise she had for them had been ruined, but because now she was covered in trash.

(That week was like a sign Georgie was sending them from the afterlife to tell them they needed to install a better security system.)

Those were the only flags they kept around the house. They were small and discreet, and, most importantly, no one had taken them away. Why? Well— because they listened to Georgie’s sign and installed a better security system. Not because there weren’t any more homophobes out there who were willing to do it.

Until that moment, those flags (the little ones Kasumi had given them in a rather unconventional way and the one made of light that Evander had come up with) had been more than enough for them. But, two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.

Simon wanted a bigger flag.

No. He wanted two.

The biggest pride flags he could find.

***

That was the reason why, after having pancakes for breakfast (because it had rained during the night), he took the car, took the other three people living in that house with him, and after he was able to read the map, they arrived at a store that, among other things, sold flags like the ones they were looking for.

“I want one too,” Adrian told them when they were at the flag section of the store. “For my room, you know. And I want to get ones for Danna and Nova because I don’t think they have any. They would’ve told me.”

Usually, when Adrian asked for something Simon hadn’t agreed to buy him, like some candy, an action figure, or a pair of sneakers, he would turn around and ask him if he had the money to buy any of those things himself, which would anger him so much he would stop wanting that certain thing.

But that day, he felt like buying them everything they wanted. As if money grew on trees (something he always told his kids didn’t happen.)

“Of course, darling,” he answered, “get them everything you want. It’s pride month.”

“It’s May 31th,” Max said. He was inside the shopping cart Hugh had grabbed the second they entered. It was something he always did, even if they weren’t going to buy a lot of things because, according to him, it felt weird and wrong not to.

“It’s almost pride month,” he corrected himself.

“So can I get something for Nova?” Adrian asked again, just to make sure.

“You can get something for Nova,” Hugh assured him, smiling a little bit.

Adrian quickly turned around and started looking for the flag he wanted while texting Nova about something Simon couldn’t read (not like he was trying to, anyway).

After making sure Adrian stayed on the same aisle as them, they started walking around, gazing at the flags and posters available. Simon felt pretty progressive because he was able to name every single sexuality and gender they were supposed to represent. He imagined Hugh was doing the same thing, but with a lot more difficulty than him. He kept his eyes fixated on each flag longer than Simon did, as if he were trying to remember what they meant, and when he did, he pushed the cart (with Max still inside of it, playing a game on Hugh’s phone because he had forgotten his tablet at home), and the cycle began again.

But suddenly, Simon saw ones that he didn’t recognize.

After three seconds of standing in front of those little flags, someone hit him in the butt with their cart. He turned around immediately, ready to say a really threatening “Hey” to whoever had done it.

Hugh was the only other person who was there. He had been the one who had hit him with the cart.

Suddenly, Simon felt a little bit stupid for thinking someone else had done it.

The two of them maintained eye contact for a couple of seconds until Hugh started looking at his own hands grabbing the cart’s handle.

“Simon.” Before Simon could ask him what happened, he added, with a deep voice: “Move.”

Simon didn’t move. Instead, he hit the cart with his hips, just out of spite. Hugh hit him again with it, making Simon feel the unexpected need to grab the cart with his two hands and use his own weapon against him, but Max was there and they couldn’t act like kids in front of him. So he just hit the cart with his hips again, a little bit harder than the first time, and left it there.

He realized he was just going to be wasting his time asking Hugh if he knew what that flag was supposed to represent.

“Cherub,” he called Max. “Do you recognize this flag?”

Max looked up from the screen. He usually didn’t like it when he called him “cherub” in public, but this time, he didn’t seem mad about it. “Um… no? Ask Adrian—” and continued playing.

Adrian came back with a basket full of pins, and for a second, Simon almost asked him if he really was that naive to believe he was actually going to pay for all of them. But then, he realized that it was only the basket where they kept all of the pins they sold and that Adrian had taken it to show them to them.

“Look, they have so many pins here—” he started taking random pins “—this is the aromantic flag… this is the genderfluid flag—”

“Interesting,” Hugh interrupted him, “but which flag is that one?” and pointed at the one Simon didn’t recognize.

Max took a random pin from the basket and started looking at it with curiosity. Adrian almost didn’t pay attention to it, and after a few seconds, he said: “That one’s yours.”

Simon frowned and took one. It was a handheld flag with green and blue stripes, with a white one in the middle. He touched the polyester with his fingertips as if that was going to give him the ability to communicate with it.

“But we don’t have a flag,” Hugh told Adrian. “I’ve heard of the lesbian fl—”

Adrian took a pin of the lesbian flag. “This one.”

“Yeah— but gay men don’t have one.”

“The rainbow is ours,” Simon said, without taking his eyes away from the blue and green flag he was holding. “Like, it’s for all queer people.”

Hugh directed his attention to Adrian again. “You’re messing with us.”

“I do mess with you a lot,” Adrian admitted, “but this time I’m not because if I do and you get mad, you won’t buy me all the stuff I want to get.”

“Huh.”

Simon knew Adrian and Max were a lot of things, but "dumb" wasn't one of those. And Adrian was especially intelligent when it came to convincing his parents to buy him things.

So he decided to believe him.

“Well, I like it,” he said. Then, he asked Hugh: “Do you like it?”

Hugh grabbed one and observed it for a while. “I like that it has blue on it,” he finally answered, nodding a little bit.

Simon noticed Max was spacing out while playing with the pin he had taken, so he waved the flag on his face, making him laugh and sneeze because the damn thing had a lot of invisible dust Simon didn't notice at first.

“Oh, sh—”

“You know? Maybe we should get two of these,” Hugh said, waving it too, but in his case, not on the face of one of their kids. “For our offices.”

“Matching flags, very romantic.”

Max rubbed his nose. “Why don't you get a big one for the house?”

Simon quickly started to look everywhere on that aisle, and he saw a lot of big versions of the flags he had recognized before (and some of the ones Adrian had mentioned), but there were no gay flags in sight.

“Maybe next year, I guess,” he shrugged. “I don't think they have them here yet.”

He grabbed two of the rainbow flags that were there, inside their respective plastic bags, gave them to Max, and he put them on his lap, still holding that pin. Simon made a quick mental note to remind his future self they needed to pay for that (he didn’t know if it had to with the fact that Max had been spending a lot of time with Maggie, Nova’s sister, but he had developed this weird habit of stealing the most random objects one could think of. Luckily, he limited himself to stealing things from his dads and, one time, from a store.) (Kids went through weird phases when they were Max’s age.)

(Because… it was a phase, right?)

Adrian received a text. “Danna says that she already has a flag, so I’m getting her a pin,” he said after reading it. “And Nova says she wants one too.” Then, his whole face lit up. “And I could get one too so we match.”

“Copycat,” Simon accused him, jokingly. “Your dad and I got matching flags, and now you want to get matching pins with your girlfriend.”

Hugh shook his head, disappointed. “I cannot believe you have betrayed your own family like this.”

They stayed at the store another 30 minutes to buy some other things they needed for the house, and from time to time, when he or Hugh grabbed something, they pretended they didn’t see Adrian and said: “Um, but the copycat may be listening” to a point he told them to stop, and refused to forgive them until they agreed to buy him the flag he didn’t intend to get anymore, but now was going to.

He got the last bisexual flag there was at that store.

***

The first time the four of them were together in their room was last June. Something went wrong with the A/C system of the entire house and the only room where one could stay without having a heatstroke was theirs because their A/C hadn’t broken down for some reason. Adrian and Max were sleeping on the air mattress until Simon (who hadn’t been able to sleep lately) heard that one of them woke up and asked Hugh something. He sat down on the bed, at the same time Hugh moved a little bit to allow Adrian to lay down between the two of them.

Then, in the middle of the dark, his eyes met Max’s.

He looked tiny. Young. Pretty young.

And far away.

Simon couldn’t remember who did it. He didn’t remember who talked that night. It could have been him, even. But he was sure that, at that moment, someone whispered:

“Get in here, kid.”

And Max obeyed. He crawled, raised his arms towards them, and Hugh grabbed him carefully by the collar of his shirt and placed him between him and Adrian.

It was a peaceful night. The bed was big enough for the four of them, and Simon was able to sleep and actually rest for the first time in weeks.

At least until their A/C turned off with a weird sound, and the four of them woke up at the same time, sweaty, uncomfortable, and almost at 11 AM, not because they weren’t necessarily willing to stay there longer, but because the heat was starting to get unbearable and suddenly the bed was too small for three adults and a little kid that was not that little anymore.

“This isn’t a room, this is a— a freaking oven,” Hugh said, while Adrian tried to push him out of bed to get the hell out of there and seek comfort on the air mattress he had abandoned in the middle of the night.

“And we are the... cookies,” Max giggled.

“The turkey,” Simon added.

Max turned around. His whole face was red and his hair was a little bit wet. “The lasagna.”

Simon grabbed him by the cheeks; a discreet way to check if he had a fever. “The cake.”

“The ham.”

“The—”

“Dad. Move.”

Later that day, Simon called someone to fix the A/C, and that was the end of the story.

When they arrived at the house, Adrian wanted to hang his flag as soon as possible, on one of his room’s walls, but Simon insisted that they should iron it first so it looked nicer. Hugh said that he was planning on ironing the ones they had bought for the house and offered Adrian to do the same with his, but when he insinuated that he didn’t trust him enough not to mess up his flag the same way he had messed up his favorite shirt (the one he wanted to wear to take Nova to a nice place during her birthday), Hugh reminded him that the only reason he kept doing that for him was that Adrian didn’t know how to iron yet, and decided that he was going to use that moment as a teaching opportunity. Max made the mistake of laughing at his brother when he thought no one was paying attention to him, but Adrian was and dragged Max into the teaching opportunity with him.

Simon joined too. Just because.

And suddenly, the four of them were in their room again.

With the A/C on, of course.

He didn't know if Hugh had noticed, but he had been so invested in his own explanation, that after he finished ironing the two rainbow flags, he started ironing Adrian’s without realizing it. Adrian, instead of giving up and stop pretending he was paying attention, was looking, kind of mesmerized, how he opened the bag of his blue, purple, and magenta flag, and proceeded to put it on the ironing board, now telling him that when Georgie had tried to teach him how to iron his clothes, she accidentally burnt Evander.

Simon was half-listening to the story, half-listening to the music video that Max was watching on the TV. He was sitting on a big and old ottoman they had bought a long time ago but had never found the perfect place to put it and just stayed there for years until they forgot about it. Max was in front of him, sitting on the floor and resting his back on the ottoman, while he covered his blond hair with small butterfly hair clips he had found at the store and bought just because he thought they were cute (who knows, maybe Nova wanted them for Maggie, or Kasumi could use them for herself, she loved them when she was little).

When all the hair clips were on Max's hair, he took a small mirror they kept in the bathroom (but Simon borrowed it for a minute) and gave it to him so he could see the final result.

“Look at me,” Max exclaimed, laughing. “I look so pretty.”

Simon grabbed one of the hair clips and pulled it a little. “Butterfly hair clips are a popular trend this time of the year.”

“This is definitely going to make me the most popular kid in the playground.”

“Definitely.”

He leaned forward to start taking the butterfly hair clips off Max's hair and was putting them on Max’s open hand when he noticed that he hadn’t let go of the pin they bought him at the store.

(Simon did remember to pay for the thing, but if he hadn’t done it, Max wouldn’t have said anything.)

“That was really nice of you,” Simon said.

Max looked at him, confused. “What?”

“Getting a rainbow pin—” he took his other hand and started putting the hair clips on it so none of them would get lost “—to show support.”

Max didn't say anything and Simon continued with what he was doing. After the music video finished, and another one started playing, Hugh gave Adrian his flag and told him he could go and hang it in his room, and as soon as Max heard that too, he gave Simon the hair clips and followed his brother out of the room, asking him if he could help him with it.

Simon, after realizing the bag where the hair clips came in had been destroyed by Max punching holes in it with the pin, took one of the empty pill bottles he kept in his drawers and put them there.

He closed the pill bottle and realized Hugh had been gazing at him during all this time, slightly leaning on the ironing board. “What?”

“That’s my pill bottle, Si,” he told him.

“Ah—” Simon pressed his lips “—can I have it?”

“No.” Hugh smiled at him. “Yes, you can.”

“So funny. Come here—” and patted the bed mattress.

Hugh, being extremely careful not to touch the flags he just ironed, lied on the bed and sighed.

“Do you want me to play with your hair?” Simon asked him with a soft voice.

He closed his eyes and nodded.

After a while of the two of them just being silent, he said, “Hey… I heard what you told Max, by the way.”

“The butterfly hair clips trend?”

“The pin thing.”

“What about it?”

Hugh opened his eyes, just a little bit. “Just don't tell Max I told you, all right? Because he told me he wouldn't tell anyone else until he was sure, but… I think it's important the two of us know,” he explained.

Simon was starting to feel his palms get a little bit sweaty. “Okay— but just tell me, please.”

He checked overhearing their conversation one last time, and that the kids were still at Adrian's room. “Max told me a couple of days ago that he has been thinking about… what he likes.”

He stopped playing with his hair for a second. But then, he continued.

It was his way of coping with the feeling of his stomach twisting inside of him. “What he likes?” Hugh nodded again. “Huh. And has he— does he has an idea or—”

“No, he doesn't,” Hugh answered. “He just knows that he doesn't like girls. Or that's what he told me.”

Simon raised his eyebrows and scoffed. “That sounds like a lot of things. Not liking girls.”

Hugh scoffed too. “That's what I told him. And that he can take all the time he needs to figure it out. Because he can—”

“Yes. Yes, of course, he can,” Simon assured, with determination. “Life is longer than we think it is.”

They stayed silent again. And Simon couldn’t help but feel relive inside his head the moment he called Max an ally, feeling his stomach twisting even more at every second it passed.

“I feel bad.”

“Why?”

His palms started to sweat again. “Because I called him an ally.”

“It’s all right. You didn’t know.”

“I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”

“You didn’t know,” Hugh repeated.

But Simon didn’t listen. “Si.”

Then, Hugh grabbed him carefully by the wrist, and, a little bit surprised, Simon tilted his head. Hugh usually didn't interrupt him when he was playing with his hair.

“What's wrong?” he asked.

“No, what’s wrong with you?” he deadpanned

Simon knew him well enough to know he wasn’t trying to be rude. It was just his way of asking things. Especially when he was genuinely worried and didn’t think about modulating his tone so it It fitted the situation better.

He sighed. Because he didn’t want to lie to him. “I assumed Max was straight.”

As soon as he said it, he realized how silly it had sounded phrased like that. But he also noticed his voice had broken and he had to put a hand on his mouth so he didn’t start crying.

And Hugh, instead of saying the encouraging phrase he expected him to say…

He smiled.

And for some reason, that made him want to cry even more. “Ew, why are you smiling?” he asked.

Hugh took his time to answer him. “Oh, it’s nothing. I think I'm just… happy.”

“Well, I’m not.”

Hugh smiled more. “I know, love, I know… It's just one of those things…” he tried to find the right words this time. “One of those things I didn't think we were going to go through together,” he kept saying. “Like… we're going to be together when Max finally discovers who he really is. Like we did with Adrian. And like other people did with us. And that makes me happy.”

Simon wanted to tell him to shut up and let him cry and be dramatic as much as he wanted because he considered he deserved it. But he tried to do it, the only thing that could come out of his lips was almost imperceptible “Yeah…” and then, a small tear started running down his face. Hugh quickly noticed this and wiped it away with his finger. Simon scoffed and looked away, rubbing his nose.

“Hey…” and he moved aside so Simon could lay beside him.

The space they had was a little too small but he didn’t mind because now he had an excuse to be closer to him.

And there it was again. Little Simon. Little Simon was there again with them.

Just that this time he wasn’t crying, or screaming, or even flickering. He was just… existing.

And all he wanted to do was to exist.

When Hugh held him that way, sometimes he felt as if it was the first time he did it. Which made Simon (and the sad, angry and scared part of Simon) wonder if there was a sad, angry and scared part of Hugh that also craved that comfort and validation, and if it was the one who hugged that younger version of Simon until they convinced each other that everything was fine.

That there was nothing wrong with neither of them.

Because sometimes it was as if people didn’t remind them that as many times as they needed. So the only option they had was to be there for the other, and tell him that it was okay to hug, to kiss, to touch, and to share until the one who was talking ended up convincing both of them.

Love wasn’t temporary.

And their love was as powerful as they wanted it to be.

Those younger versions of themselves wanted to stay like that forever every single time. But their adult versions knew they couldn’t do it because they had other responsibilities that they needed to attend.

Installing those two pride flags that were next to them, for example.

Their younger versions were excited to do that, but they also asked them if they could rest together a little bit longer. And neither of them had the heart to tell them no.

Hugh started to play with a lock of Simon’s hair. “We’ll be there to catch him.”

He knew he wasn’t talking about either of them. Even if, with his eyes closed, he could see little Hugh and little Simon holding each other’s hands and throwing themselves into the world, a little less sad, and angry, and scared than before, without being sure if there was going to be someone down there to catch them if everything went wrong.

“Together.”

And Simon agreed. “Together.”

***

“He’s going to fall.”

Simon rolled his eyes.

“No, he’s not,” Hugh told Max. “I’m here.”

“But what if—”

“Done,” Simon announced before Max could even finish his sentence. “Now, let’s just hope these things stay there as long as possible, because this ladder makes me anxious. I was trembling while putting the first flag.”

Max clicked his tongue. “It’s a windy day. The wind could have pushed the ladder or something.”

Now it was Hugh’s turn to roll his eyes. “Take my hand.”

Simon went down the ladder without letting go of his hand. Then, while Hugh took it and quickly went inside the garage to put it there, Adrian pricked his little brother up with his own rainbow flag pin, and in response, Max punched him in the stomach with all his might (which wasn’t that much). Adrian laughed and pretended to be hurt, but immediately asked him if he wanted him to help him with his pin.

Simon noticed that Adrian had already put his pin of the bisexual flag on his clothes, and watching him pull Max a little bit closer so he didn’t prink him again (now by accident), while Max gazed at his hands, trying to memorize his movements so he could do the same thing when he wanted to wear that pin again, made his mouth curved into a smile.

When his husband came back from the garage, he thought he was going to tell them to stop blocking the sidewalk and get in the house so they could continue with their day. But instead of doing that, he walked towards them and looked at their waving flags, flying on their mansion for the first time in years.

Adrian grabbed Max by the waist and carried him on his shoulders so he could have a better view. And he realized that there would be a day when they would throw themselves into the world completely alone, without knowing how people were going to act and aware that two of them were brave enough to take whatever blows that they were going to throw at them.

But they weren’t going to do it alone. Because Hugh, Simon, and their hurting parts weren’t going to spend a day without reminding them that they were going to be there, ready to catch them every single time they needed it.

Simon started to look for Hugh’s hand just to realize, Hugh was already looking for his too, and when they found each other, he couldn’t contain himself and stood on his tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. Then, Hugh smiled and kissed him back, this time, on the corner of his lip.

Simon felt proud of what they were.

He was really proud.

And he hoped they were proud too.

#renegades #archenemies #supernova #renegades trilogy #hugh everhart #simon westwood #adrian everhart #max everhart #everhart-westwood family #the warden and the captain are sitting in a tree #obsi's writs #i should get an oscar for the homophobic storm joke

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i-am-just-a-kiddo · 4 years

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rules: create your own post and tag 9 people to get to know better or catch up with

thank you for tagging me in this, @vishcount, eventhough we catch up every day basically 💞 i am tagging @cortue, @sassyassassy and @the-cloud-whisperer! no pressure in answering these questions to such detail, just do however you feel like. (ED) i’m sorry i forgot to tag @intyalote because i wish to know you better too!

my ramblings under the cut:

last song listened to: Change (Feat. GRAY) (Prod. 코드 쿤스트 CODE KUNST) by Kid Millie

code kunst is one of my absolute favourite musical artists and i always discover new projects he was part of. this one is my recent favourite, i’ve just been listening to it up and down the past few weeks so my youtube shuffle automatically plays this.

last movie watched: The Yin Yang Master (2021)

just like vishie, this was the last movie i watched and i think overall it was very fun? i found it very cute and entertaining in its world-building, as well as the visual design. also chen kun as qingming truly.....hits differently, wow. so it was hard to keep my cool about him because somehow he is way too stunning in my eyes. i also enjoyed the found family trope? it was very sweet. but as vishie noted too, the movie did not leave much place for the characters to develop properly so it would have deserved more time in that department. i was not that attached to any of them because the movie focused more on the plot happening than the character driven story. also funny how the yin yang master: dream of eternity was a wonderful gay feast while this movie just pulled the no homo card lol

currently reading: When The Light Of The World Was Subdued, Our Songs Came Through, A Norton Anthology of Native Nations Poetry (Ed. Joy Harjo, Leanne Howe, Jennifer Elise Foerster and more)

i wished for this book for christmas and finally received it a few weeks ago. the past two years i’ve mostly been reading poetry (if you leave out readings for university) and i really want to educate myself on native cultures and their past. i think this is an amazing book that has a long introduction about its creation and the choices made on how the poems should be assembled. i love how so many different voices across geography, time and ages gets presented and i am excited to read more. apart from that, i am just waiting for uni taking up all my reading space again.

currently craving: a cold beer?

since yesterday the weather has been so incredibly lovely and spring-like, i just want to go sit outside in the park or by the river and have a beer with someone. might do that tomorrow? i am feeling the holiday vibes. (also i am hungry so i should probably cook soon hmm)

current project: uni and fic ideas (and a fishtank?)

for uni i will need to hold a presentation about materiality in viennese modern designs during 1880-1930. i have this ceramic vessel by dagobert peche as my topic and i’m excited to dive into it because i am not well-versed in viennese art in general? and from what i’ve seen from his designs he took a lot of inspiration from japanese ceramics and chinese brush paintings which fits me past studies. also the question of materiality has never been the biggest focus in my studies so i am curious what will come of it, especially since our course leader wants to get us into the exhibition and hold the presentation in front of the actual object, which i have never done before (thanks covid).

i have some fic ideas which i want to get into but right now they are more vague concepts - i’ve been doing some research on korea during the 1880s-1890s for some very loosely dorian gray inspired au, but let’s see if this will take any reasonable shape. i’m also thinking about more wen ning & song lan content and maybe, possibly, some wen kexing character study? let’s see. am slowly getting back to writing and i am lowkey proud.

and yes, i want to get a fishtank in our flat. i am so ready to have one again and my flatmates agreed so there is nothing standing in my way

current mood: tired but content

i overslept my first alarm today so i had a very stressful morning (it usually takes ages for me to get out of bed) and i did most of my first lecture but then decided to ditch it to hang out with my flatmates which was the best decision tbh. i also skipped the second lecture to hang out with them and go on a walk later to enjoy sunshine? so i think this day was very much successful on the social part. i even had ice cream.

current wish: for my writing to return from war

i’ve lamented about this for the past few months on here, but it truly is weighing down my heart a lot. i just miss writing okay. i know i shouldn’t be hard on myself and accept that i need a break too, because indeed - i can’t force it and there is no need in beating myself up. but it still hurts because there is always something missing. i think the past two weeks i have been feeling a little bit more ready to return to it? though i truly need to be understanding with myself if it doesn’t work as i want it to.

currently learning: materiality, persian book art and queer theory

as mentioned above, i have one course about materiality in arts, crafts and designs, focused on 1880-1930 vienna. i am also attending a lecture about persian book art from the 14th century onwards, though i have taken so many lectures with this professor already, i feel like he is repeating himself so much? i hope i will learn something new at least, so far it feels like i’m hearing the topics for the third time. and then i have a lecture about queer theory which is exactly my crowd - the people, the professor and the discussions give me so much and bring all these topics that i think about in my free time into a theoretical and scientific realm? so it’s nice to study these things in a systematic way - as systematic as it’s possible with a topic such as queer theory. this lecture just makes me feel seen and also allows me to get a broader sense of understanding how these studies developed.

something that makes you proud: my niemo oneshot and my social activities

last week i wrote a short snippet for nie huaisang/mo xuanyu and it was the first time i had written in ages? so i feel very proud of it. and something i have been proud of lately is that i manage to be socially active a lot without feeling like all my energy has been sucked out of me? i am genuinly having fun being with people - of course it exhausts me a lot and i take breaks, but all in all it truly got easier socialising ever since i started taking my meds. my anxiety levels aren’t as high as they used to be and it helps me appreciate the presence of other people in a completely new way. this allows me not to feel like i am running away when i take time for myself.

if you’ve read all of this, thank you! this was a fun little something

#nice #i just came from a walk and thought yes #this is the perfect thing to do before i cook something #thank you for tagging me despite knowing most of it already lol #personal #tag game

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kcatta-wodahs · 4 years

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Hey there :3 May I request a matchup🙈? I'm a 5'6 tall, queer, chin long dyed red haired girl(she/her) and you can call me Karo if you need a name :p I don't really care if it's a single pairing or a poly one as well as the kind of relationship (platonic/romantic/sexual), but maybe a romantic one would be sweet🤔 I'm a INFP and was born under the sign of Pisces and I think the stereotype fits me pretty well lol. I don't think I would describe myself as clingy, I definetely need my space (part1)

and me-time, but sometimes it's also nice to have someone who will drag me outside to do stuff or socialize if I'm isolating myself too much or another depressive episode seems to creep up on me. I think they need to understand, doesn't matter if it's a platonic or romantic relationship, that sometimes I can't give them much(time etc) and that that's nothing personal and that they're still very important to me. Hmmm I think I would prefer my relationship like I like my fanfics hehe, slow burning, like first get to know each other, (enemies to) friends to lovers is just *chefs kiss* for me <3 I really love to draw and sing, to dance too, I like to spend time in nature and with animals, help them too. But I also like adrenaline rushes, like rollercoasters, cave exploring, bungee jumping, exploring lost places etc, I would say I'm almost up to anything if it's exciting or interesting, but I definetely like just chilling and watching netflix, playing games or watching Vine compilations or crackhead satire twilight tiktoks(which is tbh the things I do most of the time until someone drags me out). I love making others laugh with just random outbursts(thats pretty much my humour, just randomness and gen z memes). I try not to judge anyone for anything and be open for all kinds of stuff, except for like non-negotiable things for me like racism, homophobia, sexism etc, like, full offense but I have absolutely a zero tolerance for that. I also get very emotional very easily, doesn't matter if it's something not so important like a touching movie scene(so many things make me cry so easily haha) or like in an argument. I really have a hard time argueing, I hate it SO much, I either try to avoid conflict(and run away like a coward lol) or if it's really something we have to discuss I sometimes need time and space in between(not the best under stress talker/thinker), but if the other side is being calm and considerate then I think I would be fine too Oh almost forgot,I love cuddling(definetely also platonic)and am not afraid to just throw myself at my friends/lover/s I am getting better at not caring about what others think, but sometimes I'm still pretty insecure about everything(my actions,my future,my appearence..),but my motto is fake it till you make it,so feck other people,I can do whatever the hell I like and nobody's gonna stop me hehe😈🙈 Soo yes,I think that will be enough😂Thank you for your time and effort👐💕👐

A/N: I promise you fake it til you make it is 100000% good strategy and also i see feck are you from ireland

I pair you with.... The Attic Sandwich!

Beel and Belphie would be perfect partners for you. The two of them balance each other out in many ways, and you fit right into that. They value the connection between them and because of it they don't expect to always be around each other. This connection extends to you. Beel takes you out to all sorts of places (usually ones where there's unique food) and would definitely have fun with some adrenaline rushes. It makes him forget about his hunger for a bit. Belphie is absolutely there for your sense of humor and he's very good at watching your depression and arranging something to cheer you up.

More Below the Cut!

The plot of the first 20 chapters is what really gets you close to these two. (Spoilers for that follow and in the last three bullet points) Beel opens up more and more to you, and just absolutely falls for you. Belphie gives us that sweet, sweet enemies to lovers trope. He becomes curious about you, especially with how smitten Beel is, and ends up falling along the way.

THIS is the cuddliest group to ever cuddle oh my goodness when you want snuggles you will have them

They adore just relaxing with you. The three of you become a pile on the couch while watching movies or other videos.

Beel will watch you scroll through tumblr while he engulfs you with his arms. Belphie somehow worms his way into yours and alternates between sleeping against your chest and watching your screen as well. You hear an occasional snort of laughter from him.

Beel is very emotionally intelligent, so he can quickly determine your mood and what he can do to help.

Belphie encourages you to break out of your shell and be yourself. He's very blunt about his opinion of other people lol

He finds himself staying awake longer with you just so he can hear you. He thinks you're hilarious, honestly, and loves talking with you.

When you throw yourself at Beel he catches you. He big and strong and loves affection from you. but also this happens https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIhl1cW9Me8

Belphie thinks its the funniest shit he can't breathe

If you do it to Belphie honestly he just stands there - either to let you fall or cling to him like a koala. He looks so Done but I promise he loves it. He laughs at you either way. He saves hugs and cuddling for when laying in bed or sitting. Too tired to hold you.

They both understand needing space, and will often just go off and do their own thing. They have complete faith in your feelings for each other, and will never doubt that you love them.

At least not for needing alone time - Belphie has lingering guilt over plot but he tries to make up for it by protecting you.

The others in the house can't help but be reminded of the trio they were with Lilith as angels.

While it still hurts to remember, Beel and Belphie feel almost as if they've come home around you. A part of them that was lost is found again.

Snippet!

Cleaning day is nobody's favorite, but least of all Belphie's. Too much work. Just don't take ou your stuff and then you don't have to clean it later, right? The problem to him seems to be all the time people spend awake and he shouldn't have to deal with it!

But cleaning day is a little better with Beel and Karo. With their laughs and energy. Usually seeing other people so active drained him, but not with those two. He watched as Karo danced around the room to the music she had put on, while she and Beel tidied up. It was frankly adorable, and best of all: Belphie wasn't expected to join.

He was happy to watch. He watched as Karo spun into Beel's side, surprising him and causing him to stumble before he laughed and swept her up into a spin together. He watched as Beel picked Karo up with ease to put something on the top shelves of the room. He watched Karo find pillows in all the nooks and crannies of the room, and he huffed and whined when she threw each one at him on the bed.

Belphie was on snack duty. In exchange for the two helping him with cleaning day, he was expected to provide the rewards. This was not a small feat when Beel was involved, but it was far better than cleaning.

"Hah! The closet is done!" Karo declared, brandishing her feather duster. "Snack us, Belphie!"

He couldn't help but chuckle. It was an awful phrase. Silly and stupid, but Karo's enthusiasm was just so contagious.

"Good job. C'mere," he told them, reaching to his hoard of treats.

Karo practically jumped onto the bed, grinning at him, while Beel was close behind looking very expectant. Belphie hid the curling smile of his lips by lifting up a large bag. "The closet is the biggest monster of them all - so for defeating it, you two get this."

Karo gasped and Beel's eyes gleamed. "Oh, those are my favorite..." he said, already reaching out.

"Ah-ah," Belphie pulled the bag back, to be met with a pout from Beel. "You'll eat them too fast for Karo to get any, so we're gonna do something different."

"Different?" Karo asked.

Belphie smirked and opened the bag, which led to a very audible tummy rumble from Beel. He and Karo couldn't help but laugh. He pulled out a snack - just one - and held it up. "Karo, say 'aaah'."

She beamed at him and opened her mouth. "Aaah!" Belphie tried really hard to keep his blush down as he dropped the snack in her mouth. She was so darn cute about everything.

"Now you give one to Beel."

"Just one?"

"Just one," Belphie agreed, smirking at the pout.

It didn't last long though, as Karo held up the snack and said "aaah" to Beel. He eagerly opened his mouth for the treat, but shocked himself by blushing heavily once she leaned over to feed him. Karo didn't comment, but seemd to be rather proud of the fact.

Belphie fed her another, and she followed up with Beel - but Beel took her hand after stealing the snack from her fingertips. He couldn't help but kiss the palm of her hand. "You're... so cute," he mumbled. "I like this."

"I thought you would," Belphie said, pleased with himself. "Karo?" he held up another.

She went for the treat, but instead he pulled it away, holding it above his head. "Beel gave you a kiss, don't I get one too?"

Karo paused and blinked before laughing and leaning in. "You're adding new rules," she told him.

"Never said I couldn't," he answered, giving her a light peck on the lips before presenting her with the treat. The look of satisfaction in her eyes made his heart pound, and he could tell that Beel's was just as busy.

"My turn," Beel said quickly. Whether he meant for a snack or for a kiss... well. We shall see.

#im sorry it took so long!!!!!#i got hit with stress in school and hid in dragon quest builders 2 for three days #Ive literally done nothing but play that #thank you so much for the request!!!!#matchups #match ups #bast babbles #my writing

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drunklander · 5 years

Text

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 502

Watched this episode after winning Wynonna Earp trivia (fuck yeah, The Shit Tickets!) at a bar, put on by a queer af podcast, followed by going to see a queer af movie, and was all ready to get my Beauchamp fix... And it was like oh here’s a taste and a hint that we’re gonna end up in a story line similar to what we’ve already done multiple times, but now on to the menfolk.

For real though, this episode was like an OL greatest hits clip show. It had all the stuff we’ve seen before. A time traveler who wants to go home? Check. Rape PTSD? Check. A man being a dad to a kid who isn’t/might not be his? Check. That same man being the absolute worst? Check. Claire being reckless with future medicine? Check. Townsfolk questioning Claire’s medical knowledge in favor of the local Man of Importance? Check. Jamie trying to be on both sides at once? Check. A villain who seemed to have died the previous season and should have fucking stayed dead? Check.

We’ve literally seen all of this stuff before.

For a show that spent the first part of season two claiming to be a political drama and then last season claiming that they “weren’t political” I see we’re back to just leaning hard into politics that have direct parallels today.

No fucks left to give about the system Murtz is kind of my favorite Murtz. Like this dude spent his whole life living by a code and an oath and was fucked over by the system so many fucking times that he’s ready to just burn it all down. Curious to see how they walk the domestic terrorist vs. freedom fighter line with him for the rest of the season.

Got all excited about the bread title card because yay medicinal mold, but of course, the lead character was relegated to the B story.

Old timey medicine baffles me. Like the fact that bleeding someone was like a catchall remedy boggles the mind.

I feel rull bad for Mrs. Whoeverthefuck though. She tried.

Also, shit like this makes me be like, yo Claire, you sure you wanna stay here? Jamie’s really not all that and a bag of chips. But you do you, boo.

Speaking of Jamie, his hair looks really good. A thousand fruit baskets to the new wig person.

Lulz at Knox thinking the Gathering was about being loyal to king and country. Dummy.

Srsly though, Murtz Valmurtz is really getting under their skin. Is he like the *only* Regulator leader?

The convo between Knox and Jamie is literally as relevant today as it is in the 1770s. But yeah, the show IsN’t PoLiTiCaL.

The fact that fuckers think those at the bottom should be happy with their lot because “lol it could be worse” need to be punched in the face and taken out of power. Stat.

Also any time someone in power talks about civility as a reason not to rise up against injustice, I want to punch them. Because they deserve it.

I want to punch a lot of things.

This whole episode is very Les Mis, tbh.

Literalol at Claire covering dead guy’s face and not his body cavity before Bree comes in.

Aw Bree, why you gotta be a buzzkill? We were cheated of badass Doctor!Claire in S3. Let us have this.

Also, yeah, Claire, Bree’s fucking right. Which you’d think you’d know by now what with alL THE FUCKING TIMES YOU’VE BEEN CALLED A WITCH. AND NOW YOU’RE UPPING YOUR GAME TO LIKE NECROMANCY?!

Also the more she says no one will find out the more annoying it is because *clearly* someone *is* gonna find out and we’re gonna be back on the “she’s a witch!” “I’m not a witch!” “you literally have a dead guy in your closet!” merry-go-round again.

Today in most on-the-nose shots ever: How convenient that Marsali just happens to be doing some butchering right there, right then.

Petition for the show to go full Shondaland and just turn into a backwoods medical drama with Claire and Marsali, and all the others (cough the men cough) can fuck on off.

Tarring and feathering is like the old timey version of #AlwaysPunchAFascist but dialed to 11.

Oh the baggage behind Jamie saying redcoat man will someday wear his scars with honor that none of these fuckers know about...

Ok so clearly the English know that Claire’s a doctor so whenever shit hits the witchy dead dude fan, can we please have a quick resolution and not that dumb af “Claire goes to jail and of course her cellmate is a lesbian because Diana sucks at writing queer characters” nonsense?

Man Jamie is *not* subtle with this convo at the jail. Like Knox is right there and he’s just like hey buddies, I have people and we’re Scottish and y’know how we feel about protecting people vs. obeying the English.

I AM SPARTACUS FITZGIBBONS!

Aaand, naturally, the fuckwit preaching civility is the one to kill a man in cold blood. Rise up, motherfuckers. Rise up.

THANK FUCK ROGER IS A TERRIBLE SHOT BECAUSE IF THAT SQUIRREL DIED I WOULD LEGIT QUIT THE SHOW. RUN AWAY AND BE FREEEEEE YOU PRECIOUS LIL WILDERNESS FLOOFER!

Roger is, and I cannot stress this enough, the fucking worst.

He’s like look how shitty I am at being a soldier but then bitches about having to try to learn. And then he bitches about how dumb it is to shoot at squirrels as if being able to hit a squirrel wouldn’t make hitting a much larger thing, like a man who is shooting back at you, that much easier. And also, how the fuck does he think they get meat to eat? Shooting it, you twatwaffle.

And he’s like so fucking butthurt about being left behind. Like no shit, asshat. You’re bad at being in the past and have made no real effort and you whine a lot and are generally the worst. Of *course* you were left behind. Stop being emo about it and maybe actually try.

“He doesn’t respect me, Bree.” Yeah, no shit. Because you’ve done LITERALLY NOTHING to earn his respect. WHY ARE YOU SO TERRIBLE IT’S LIKE THEY’RE INTENTIONALLY TRYING TO MAKE HIM SUCK.

He also is like butthurt that his wife is a better shot than him when she gets the turkey he misses. How the fuck are we supposed to ship this. Ugh.

#BreeDeservesBetter

Oh Bree, sweetie, Jem won’t get hit by a car, but there are like eleventy million ways to die in the past. Just stick with the “you want to stay with your family” stuff.

Roger clearly doesn’t want to stay and is gonna pull a Fred and make Bree feel bad about wanting to all season, isn’t he. Fahkin’ doucherocket.

“I want to go but I’ll stay for you and look how magnanimous I am as I whine about it and make no effort to acclimate to the time.” Take your martyr card and shove it, Rog.

Shorter Jamie Fraser: “If you stand for nothing, Knox, what’ll you fall for?”

I’m already over Roger singing all the time tbh. Mostly because it reminds me that soon he won’t be able to do that anymore and we’re gonna be subjected to like half a season of him being more insufferable than he already is.

Wait, was Joan already born last episode? Or was there another time jump? Is Marsali preggers with baby #3? I lost track.

I love this scene between Claire and Marsali with my whole heart. Marsali especially.

CAN WE PLEASE JUST HAVE A WHOLE SHOW OF THESE TWO BEING ALL BADASS AND DOCTORY TOGETHER!?

Although, quick question, how fucking long is Claire planning to keep that un-embalmed body lying around in an un-refrigerated surgery/root cellar? Just curious...

Because you know someone’s gonna find it eventually and that’s gonna be a whole to do and I really need to stop being preemptively annoyed at plot lines that haven’t actually happened yet.

And with all this talk of plowshares and swords, I really am going to be singing Les Mis for days...

How long have these biddies been living on the Ridge? The fucking Leoch folks spent like a minute with Claire before they were like yep, she knows what’s up. These folks have apparently been here for months and are like loool, pass. They live in the fucking woods. You’d think they’d be more open to Claire’s brand of medicine.

Omg are they like the accidental antivaxxers of the Ridge?

#VaccinateYourFuckingKids

I mean, Bree, I think there’s some difference between Claire pretending to be a dude doc and telling folks to wash their hands and Otter Tooth.

Season 2 Claire and Otter Tooth on the other hand...

Ok so Jamie needs more men so that means next week is AHS: Beardsley Farm and then maybe (hopefully) instead of being like lol jk you can all go home, it actually goes right into the battle thing. Still not sure if they’re gonna do Roger getting hanged as the mid-season big thingy and then do the Bonnet nonsense in the back half or keep trying to do both of those at once.

Hey, Roger, pro-tip, next time you see Morag MacKenzie, maybe don’t fuCKING MAKE OUT WITH HER YOU FUCKING DUMBASS.

Claire’s totally right about how they should go back. Honestly, they should. But instead of talking with her like Claire is now with Roger, he’s just being all moody about how he’s bad at the past and wants to go back. You’re shooting yourself in the foot, broski.

Oh hey Husband the Quaker. And is that a fellow Quaker named Hunter with him? Are we gonna get Denny and Rachel this season?! Please and thank you that’d be great, I love them.

Murtz talking to his squad is full on Enjolras being like don’t worry fam, Marius will stand and fight with us. His place is there, he’ll fight with you.

The two very different but very similar ways Murtz and Jamie approach being Laird of their squads is fun to explore.

Bree lecturing Claire about changing the future by saving a few backwater hicks like Claire didn’t spend years trying to fucking change all of Scottish history is a bit rich. Like writers, we get it, you’re trying to be like oh snap, wait for the consequences of this bread!science! But like come the fuck on. We sat through all of season two.

“You’re a good dad, you know that?” Oh man, I’m getting that déjà vu about a shitty man getting kudos for being a good dad to a kid as if that negates all of his shittiness.

Oh hey, Bonnet’s back. Clearly we couldn’t have just let him die last season. Gotta drag shit on for longer than it has to. This is the [Outlander] Way.

If they were gonna keep him around as a villain, they shouldn’t have (in addition to all the other reasons) included him raping Bree. Jamie, Murtagh and Bonnet all making choices within and outside of the law to various degrees in order to make their living in the Colonies would be a really interesting contrast. But nope, gotta just go all in. BeCaUsE tHe BoOk.

Also I hate with the passion of a thousand fiery suns the Jemmy’s paternity stuff. Le sigh.

Remember in season one when the show was about Claire and she was in episodes for longer than 10 minutes?

I miss Claire.

#*#outlander starz #outlander 5x02 #drunj!der yells about outlander

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artist-in-space · 4 years

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Hey! Hello, how have u been lately? (Have u seen queer eye? Do u like it?) how are things with ur country, are u safe? Have u seen or read something interesting? (Plz take care of urself). -💙

Hi! I’m quite alright, thanks for asking! How about you?

Online classes are starting in two months, I’ve got college shifting issues but honestly, I’ve been moer productive with those stresses on me. Idk im weird

My country is going through a lot. We just celebrated our Independence Day actually, but unlike other times, I had no flag to wave :(

I’ve seen a lot of interesting things, but of course, on the internet. Aside from the situation in the US, I actually am watching clips of Jon Stewart’s tenure in the The Daily Show, which is so good. I read his book about the show as well.

Then I’ve watched a lot of LegalEagle and Dr. Mike episodes more than once... especially LegalEagle lol

I have not watched Queer Eye! I’ve seen some YT vids of them though. They seem really nice, will watch it when I... find a suitable place to watch it from adkfbjja

I am starting to read the Hunger Games trilogy and probably next, the Maze Runner! HG I’ve read the first book but not the other ones. Watched all movies though.

I watched Up, Wall-E, Zootopia and Tangled recently. I still love Tangled. Why is that movie so good?? I mean I love all of them but!!

Anyway, I hope you have a great day! Take care of yourself as well. Eat veggies!

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mingyuistall · 5 years

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fifteen questions! :)

ty for tagging me!! @thetypingpup

are you named after someone?

yep! i’m named after my mom’s friend that died in a car crash when she was little.

last time i cried?

uhh, last week. i finished anohana last week, and it was really sad. i teared up last night while watching queer eye though, so i don’t know if that counts.

any kids?

no no no, i cannot imagine have a kid right now. i want them when i’m way older though.

do i use sarcasm?

yes, all the time. it gets me in trouble sometimes though, especially with teachers.

first thing i notice about a person?

usually the way the act. it’s usually how i figure out new kids at school or just new people in general.

what’s your eye color?

green/hazel

scary movies or happy endings?

ahh i love both, but tbh scary movies.

special talent?

i mean i’m really good at competitive swimming? so ig swimming lol

birthplace

raleigh, nc

hobbies?

when i’m not on tumblr i’m at swim practice or making tiktoks lol

do you/have you played any sports?

i used to play soccer when i was like four, but now i’m a swimmer (as stated like fourteen times already)

pets?

i have a cat named kermit and a dog named drax

height?

5′2

fave subject?

i love animal science but like my favorite core class is probably ela

dream job?

i’m very stuck between a lot of different things. my mom does some stuff in court (i’m not exactly sure) so i want to go into (maybe) law. either i want to be an officer, a lawyer, work in forensic science, therapist, or some type of animal-involved job. i’m so stressed about it already and i’m not even in college ;-;

tagging- @rumattysworld @craby-bouquet @morkmywords and yeah that’s kinda it lol

#i have like no friends on here #so please hmu #except i have ellie mel my anon and the person i was an anon for (i don't know y'alls name :(

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ratsbby · 6 years

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What are your thoughts on the Joker (in all his incarnations)?

Ahhh there’s too many for me to list without this getting rlly long but I’ll do a few! In general I think he’s a v interesting character but I want to fight almost every version of him to the death for how he treated Harley and the robins lmao. Mostly I just know him from movies bc reading comics he’s in stress me out.

I love Hamill’s take on him excluding the killing joke and like watching the animated Batman even tho I’m a baby and a lil scared of him. Liked him well enough in Dark Knight. The version I like the least is when he had dreadlocks??? That was weird. But my fav is honestly the 60s Batman and LEGO Batman bc I am soft and love camp lol even if I have issues with the queer baiting /issues that happens with him sometimes?? Bc I despise the trope of making villains “predatory gays” in ways that hurt the community, especially if the villain is gay and the hero’s aren’t :\

This is getting long, but basically I think he’s a great villain when written well but I fear and hate him 8/10 times and love and support Harley 9/10 times. Most of the time he’s too dark for me to really like but I love when he’s just a campy chaos prankster even tho it’s kinda ooc at this point

#joker #dc #killing joke #LEGO Batman #harley quinn #Eli speaks #frostbite883 #comics

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writersriot · 7 years

Text

The Outsiders Queer Subtext ft. Jally - Part 17

Monday, May 1, 2017

Sorry for the long absence! My usual update is stuck in my drafts lol so I’m writing a fairly quick insert to talk about the Greasers and the Socs as portrayed in the book.

Ponyboy is walking with Johnny, Two-Bit, and Cherry and Marcia after the movies. Pony is realizing that the Socs seem to be just like the Greasers.

It seemed funny to my that Socs -- if these girls were any example -- were just like us. They liked the Beatles and thought Elvis Presley was out, and we thought the Beatles were rank and that Elvis was tuff, but that seemed the only difference to me. Of course greasy girls would have acted a lot tougher, but there was a basic sameness. I thought maybe it was money that separated us. (Pg 37-38)

Now I think this is really interesting coming from Ponyboy. He’s fourteen (14!! Not 13! lol) and he still goes to school with Johnny, so he sees the Socs in that environment, away from the neighborhood rumbles. He seems to think that it’s mostly attitude and money that separates Greasers and Socs.

And I think about Darry sometimes, how he played sports and had Soc friends. I think Darry could have easily been a Soc, despite living in a Greaser neighborhood. The Curtis parents were a point of stability for the whole gang, so we know the Curtis boys have been in the gang for quite a while. I wonder what the parents thought of the fighting and everything, if they tried to keep their boys out of trouble or just let it happen because in a way, it was safer to have friends as backup in that neighborhood.

So what if the Curtis’ had more money and lived in a better part of town? Would all the kids have been more likely to be Socs? If their parents hadn’t died, Darry would have been playing sports, maybe going to college. Soda would still be in school, not feeling like the only thing he can do is work to help Darry support them. And Ponyboy wouldn’t be so stressed at such a young age. Money couldn’t have kept their parents alive, but maybe it could have made living without them a little easier. I don’t know.

So is it just money that separates Greasers from Socs? Cherry doesn’t think so.

“No,” Cherry said slowly when I said this. “It’s not just money. Part of it is, but not all. You greasers have a different set of values. You’re more emotional. We’re sophisticated -- cool to the point of not feeling anything. Nothing is real with us. You know, sometimes I’ll catch myself talking to a girl-friend, and realize I don’t mean half of what I’m saying. I don’t really think a beer blast on the river bottom is super-cool, but I’ll rave about one to a girl-friend just to be saying something.” She smiled at me. “I never told anyone that. I think you’re the first person I’ve ever really gotten through to.”

She was coming through to me all right, probably because I was a greaser, and younger; she didn’t have to keep her guard up with me. (Pg 38)

I just have to laugh for one second that Ponyboy is not even close to being a threat to Cherry. A fourteen-year-old Dally would have been a very different story. So I just want to say how much I love soft Pony and Johnny, okay? I mean, they’re tough but they’re also Soft and I love them both.

As an important aside, Cherry describes talking to her girl-friends just to talk, pretending she likes something just because that’s what they all do. Now, she means it as an example of how the Socs don’t feel anything and barely care about anything. But I see it as having another level of meaning.

How much of our teenage years do people spend pretending to like something or be a certain way just to impress or be liked by others? I feel like that’s a basic tenant of high school life no matter how much we might try to be ourselves. And if someone like Cherry pretends in her everyday life, how can we say who else is pretending or not?

‘Cause you know who ends up pretending or just trying to be like others more often than not? Queer people. Especially baby queers who may only have an inkling that they’re different and that might scare them. I know I did this, pressured into relationships, as did many queer kids I knew at the time. So many people think they’re straight because it’s the only option they know, especially in this generation growing up in the 60s. Thank you, heteronormativity. I just wanted to point that out, to consider in the whole of the book. Especially when Ponyboy as the narrator is fallible and may not fully understand all the dynamics of the gang.

(I could imagine a shy, quiet Johnny just starting to realize his feelings in how he idolizes Dally, while Dally is like “fuck no” all as he is dying over Johnny’s existence.)

So anyway, according to Cherry, the Socs are cool and emotionless while the Greasers run hot and feel everything. The Socs have money, have privilege, have anything they could want so that means they have a difficult time finding meaning in anything. That’s the basis of why Socs get into trouble, fucking shit up and fighting. The Greasers really have nothing but each other, so that’s what they fight for because no one else will do it. They don’t have money, they barely have family outside their gangs, so all they can do is rail against the world.

That was the truth. Socs were always behind a wall of aloofness, careful not to let their real selves show through. I had seen a social-club rumble once. The Socs even fought coldly and practically and impersonally.

“That’s why we’re separated,” I said. “It’s not money, it’s feeling -- you don’t feel anything and we feel too violently.” (Pg 38)

I want to call a little bit of BS here just because money and the following privilege is a huge part of how the Socs and Greasers live every day. It’s in how they are raised by their socialite parents to have everything except maybe what they really need to care about, like love. It’s in how they might have nothing but a group of friends to watch their back, and how they will throw down everything for love of their chosen families.

It’s a stereotype that money and privilege beget this cool, aloof behavior of not caring about stuff, but here it seems to have some truth to it. And we know people who struggle every day for every little thing they have can be some of the most empathetic and giving people. I see a lot of this in these characters. I want to say Socs fight to maybe feel something while Greasers fight to numb themselves. It’s a fascinating dichotomy that still exists in various ways today.

And I can’t leave this comparison without talking about Dally. So knowing this is what Pony thinks about Greasers, how they feel too much too violently. . .what I want to know once again is why does this kid think Dallas Winston is a cold, emotionless bad guy? I mean, yes the seventeen-year-old acts like he’s seen and experienced everything, and hell, maybe he has. He fucks shit up and rolls little kids because it’s all he knows. Out of all the gang, he probably causes the most trouble. So by Pony’s reasoning here, that would likely mean Dally feels more than anyone else. He’s been through so much shit from such an early age, and he acts out because he can’t handle it. I just. I’ve said this all before and I’ll say it again, but I can’t with Dally. I love him. He is not Soft like Johnny, but he is Tough in a way that makes me want to protect him. Dally is Tough because inside he is vulnerable and Soft.

Yet Pony seems to think Dally cares about nothing and no one, when time and again Dally proves the opposite to be true just by how he treats everyone in the gang, especially Johnny. Dally cares, but Pony somehow doesn’t see it?? This is why I can’t necessarily take Pony’s narration seriously because he only sees his part of the story, and the text on the page only hints at the stuff Pony doesn’t experience. So a lot of important reading of The Outsiders depends on the subtext, and catching the hints and extrapolating on what is unsaid as much as what is stated outright. SE Hinton might not be aware of what kind of subtext she was setting up when she wrote this as a teenager. . .but I sure as hell see it and it’s queer af.

That’s all for now. I meant this to be short but it still took me a few hours lol oh well.

Until the next part~

#outsiders queer subtext series #jally #ponyboy curtis #cherry valance #dallas winston #greasers #the outsiders #se hinton

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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years

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12x16 watching notes

confession: I really like Mick

Also if he makes it out the season alive and comes back to England I’m finding him myself to kill him.

Maybe the show is running behind time and that’s why Cas’s car was parked in my town

----

I'm barely taking off my shoes and sitting down with some tea and I'm getting a faceful of the werewolf lore

(Claire continues to be linked to Dean and hunting, not Cas and angels)

they're stressing the detail about the werewolves not being like the ones in Heart, still, with Robbie's helpful change in 8x04 to make werewolves easier to write. That's interesting to me just because we've spent so much time remixing everything lately that stressing that something isn't how it was in season 2 is more of a meta point than normal. There's also, I think, an assumption people know the show very very well by now, and it's written like you'd know all the random tiny plot details, or at least, the remixes and re-dos are all easter eggs for if you are well-versed enough in the show to spot them. Telling us it's not like it was in the old days has got more important than season 8 - which attempted to soft reboot the show TWICE. (in 8x01 and 8x12) ... Season 12 is the hard reboot where you hold down the power key for 10 seconds and then let it shut off before you try again :P

season 12 recap stuff, condenses down Dean vs Ketch interestingly with several more reaction shots than I'd have expected, including one from I think 12x08 while Ketch was showing off his toys - a real focus on Dean's conflict with them but NOT reminding us as a recent previous episode about stuff like Toni and Ms Watt or Sam getting tortured. Short term memory, or there's always the queer-coded stuff between Dean and Ketch and I do think it's going to be between them at the end whatever happens to Ketch just because they've been shoved together so many times now so it makes sense to make Dean's emotional focus here suddenly switch to hating Ketch, and Ketch making a play for him etc and Dean saying about that they've worked with people they don't trust, overlaid with a little clip of him and Crowley hanging out in glasses, which, of course, again parallels that his lack of TRUST in Crowley is oooh so layered with maybe not trust but reliance, familiarity, and a weird sense of even friendship or family if he'd dare admit it... to DEAN Crowley is much more than he might be to Sam or Cas - THEY would easily be like "uh we don't trust Crowley and hate working with him" while Dean's probably like "Okay so he turned me into a demon that one time and we're not making any excuses but - "

there's also speculation some people have about the fight coming down to the line about Crowley and Dean having to face if he really would save Crowley or not (even if he can pretend it's just repaying the favour for Cas or whatever)

also blah blah interpersonal drama with Sam and Dean, we know how that goes

The sign we start on says "cold beer and wine to go" - what kind of a bar is this :P

I hope it doesn't have wine out of a vending machine but this is the sort of establishment my brain has decided to expect. (It's called the Lucky Badger so who knows)

Oh dear the cold open girl is lying blatantly to whoever Ben is, saying she's studying (with her friend Angela, so... I have no idea yet but using a name with "angel" in it probably is an easy way to get in character mirrors >.>) - he's right behind her and turns out to have been watching her as she texted, so probably spotted her in the Lucky Badger or had been creepy stalking her

He seems to think it's a joke though so I guess he's either a werewolf so no wonder he's not taking it personally outwardly - if he's pissed off with her he's way more dangerous in other ways than just having a fight, or they're friends, and this actually is a joke to him. Either way, she didn't seem to like him texting her like that and wanted to lie in the first place.

Nice shot of the moon.

Oh, they're siblings. That explains the entire dynamic as a normal human interaction :P He's 100% allowed to teasingly be concerned about her getting into trouble, and the "busted" comment is because they both answer to the same higher power aka their parents. And if you saw your sibling at a bar they weren't supposed to be at, that's immediately within your right to jokingly freak them out via text message, because the whole level of interpersonal drama changes... if it was some bloke she knows being over-protective or over-interested in her life, then yeah. brrr. Of course the show has all the stuff about Sam and Dean policing each other and taking it too far with that and their overprotectiveness, but for now this all seems normal enough for writing siblings, as long as we stick a pin in that thought in case that's a meta thing later >.>

They also have mom drama. She won't let them get a car, aka a sign of being grown up and personal freedom - the girl teases her brother for not having a car but he speaks about it as "us". The mom is deciding when they get to grow up and on what terms. (In 12x01 it seemed like Mary might get possessive over the Impala and we were speculating/wondering if that would happen. So far she hasn't driven it or been given a reason to. Wherever they stashed the Impala between 12x08 and 12x10, Mary never got hold of it in the weeks they were gone. I'm now reminded I'm waiting for Mary to drive Baby for some reason.)

I'm tentatively labelling yellow plaid guy as Sam because tall, and girl in short shorts Dean because... she's shorter.

Kudos to the actress for doing all this in the snow

Anyway the brother tells the girl to act her age (they're now pinging my Twin radar which would be fascinating to have MORE fraternal twins in one season especially in the aftermath of God and Amara - Alicia and Max are interesting but I guess they aren't reliable data until there's more sets to measure them against), and doesn't want/need the car/personal freedom, or to be sneaked into a bar to get a Moscow Mule, while the sister is acting out and trying to get that freedom/do things beyond her expected age.

The brother says the mom is doing the best she can, which of course has been Sam's role mediating between Dean and Mary and wouldn't be weird for him to say

Also more teenagers/young adults thinking about leaving home/growing up - Gwen last episode leaving to go to vet school, these guys 2 years from whenever Actual Personal Freedom hits them (what age does that happen for Americans? I'd just assume 18 if they were British meaning they could be 16, which looks way too young for these guys, but American drinking laws are weird so they could be 19 and still 2 years off bar hopping as a way of life :P - anyway Claire should be coming up to 20, if she hit 18 in season 10, so I'll have to assume these guys are 19 and therefore a year older than when I'd assume teenagers get personal freedom >.>)

(they’re TV teenagers and therefore the actors are probably 25 with youthful faces)

Sam and Dean have regressed or never managed to "leave home" in the sense they never had a home to leave from and fell out of the nest aged Way Too Young, and there's been meta I'd seen about at least Dean and Cas (separately) having adolescence or childhood arcs, and of course in season 12 with Mary back, Sam and Dean are metaphorically zapped right back down to aged six months and four, respectively, with a need to reconcile Mary back into their adult lives, and for her to reconcile adult Dean and Sam back into hers. It's nice if the subtext is moving them up to adolescence in this respect because it means they're nearly adult and ready to fly the next properly and to be their own people. If they don't get mauled by hellhounds or werewolves first, like the poor sucker from last episode who never made it out of his hometown or married the girl... Bit worried one or both of these kids are about to die, because, well, cold open.

They are the right sort of age that the boy could get eaten, the girl turned, and then she's a new BFF for Claire as werewolf friends :3

Yay she's genre savvy - she knows not to go into the woods when it's dark and full moon :P Come on you have to survive this...

Dean was being genre savvy last episode. Also Ben is not listening to his sister's concerns (and it seems fairly obvious speculation that Sam might not listen at first to Dean's concerns about the BMoL)

Oh AND he calls her a drama queen, after Sam said Dean was "dramatic"

I feel almost bad for making the call about this parallel entirely from the short shorts.

"It's fine I'll prove it"

You are so going to get eaten by werewolves.

LOL she has a "Bae" in her phone that she's coming right back to

I hope it's Angela

Nooooo she got attacked

she still looks, like, not devoured. She is presumably just turned. (Is she called Eden or Eve? I can't make out the dialogue at all here)

Heh called it, Ben gets his heart ripped out by the corny mask-wearing monster (a monster playing up being a monster - I'm on Monster Movie red alert because that's like a fave episode ever and we never refer back to it when we really should because it was Edlund at his best :P) - I mean obviously updated from the Nosferatu generation to the Scream generation.

I'm also gonna assume this lame teenage werewolf in a mask (come on, he's wearing a mask and a hoodie) is a peer they know, and like the shapeshifter had a thing for Jamie, kinda wants the girl for himself here.

I'm gonna assume Claire is our "Mr Harker" because she is, after all, a Dean parallel.

Anyway that's a grim sibling parallel - the one who didn't believe/listen to the concerns gets his heart ripped out just for playing around not treating it as seriously as he should, and the genre savvy short-shorts wearing sibling who just wanted to drink in peace with the bae has presumably had as far as we know for now irrevocable damage done to her life...

I hope someone's written a lot about Sam being trapped in this triangle:

because that's fascinating. He's definitely separated from Dean and encased/caged in it; whether it's technically a halo because it's glowing or not is a thought for later. But that's not an accidental shot and it's definitely singling Sam out

Oh good, Dean's temper is doing well.

I thought he'd taken his jacket off for the first shot and was about to comment on that because Sam's in a bulky jacket, but it turns out they're just trying to kill me with the wardrobe because that IS Dean's jacket painted onto his back and shoulders there.

Dean's chafing at having to "report for duty" with them - the getting cases was fun (especially when he didn't know where they were coming from, or at least, may have suspected but didn't ask questions)... but now he's being treated like a soldier, and he has issues with the big picture - it's staring at the map looking at the scope of their organisation that's got his mind on this, and that comes with the fact they're being used for the big picture stuff. Last time he felt like this, I think, was in season 6 between 6x07>6x10 where he's resenting working for Crowley doing pretty much this exact same thing with taking out monsters - of course 12x14 had aaaall the parallels and callbacks to season 6 and the Campbells.

Mick's actually still upset about the poor dead people from last time we saw him - nice to see emotional continuity and that this really is part of his arc.

"Wow that is some world class repression, you really are British" - You know if there was an olympics for it, Dean would have taken home the gold medal pretty much every year until now. Shh Dean. Just because you're the Honesty Hour character NOW

I love Dean's look at Mick after "stiff upper lip" - not sure if it's understanding, or intimidation, or a bit of both. Or the old "he said a weird phrase in a British accent, is that meant to be an innuendo" double check.

(Everything said in a British accent is an innuendo)

Oh the girl's called Hayden, I think. Thank you, Mick, for speaking in an accent I actually understand :D

Ahaha Mick did EXTENSIVE research. He's an EXPERT you guys. I really headcanoned hard he's always been a hit the library hard kind of guy, which is probably how he got as far as he did in the ranks of a top secret HEREDITARY order while having a coded in media as lower class accent. Kinda nice to find out he was top of his class in "hunter hogwarts" to quote whoever said that... For some reason I'm convinced it's Bobby but I think that was because he made a joke about phoning Hogwarts when they were hunting dragons.. hang on, I need to look this up.

OH Crowley in 9x11. Of course.

I wonder if he knows there's actual schools for this. We don't actually have much Crowley and BMoL interaction to go off.

I'd assume it's higher education style, sort of like going to law school or whatever, but instead you go to some country house with a big lore library... I can't imagine there are many students.

Dean has come to learn that people around him will incessantly reference whatever a Hogwarts is, while Sam, a Nerd, references it and Mick, a British Person Alive Since 1997, is just like yeah that place. This is almost no indication of nerd cred whatsoever.

Sam's like "COOL" and Dean's like "Oh god shut up" with his glare. Like, he KNOWS he's watching Sam get suckered in with everything Sam would love (lore, Harry Potter references being acknowledged) so it's like, OBVIOUSLY you are not being critical and careful here, you just said "COOL" and looked at me with that enthusiastic smirk just like that guy who got eaten by a werewolf in a silly mask in the cold open.

Also Sam WAS critical in 12x14 and ready to leave, but changed his mind after events; of course Dean didn't see that and doesn't know that Sam gave Mick the exact same wariness that Dean is giving him now.

However Dean always tends to be right (and it's blatantly obvious the BMoL are a bad idea to US) so clearly Sam didn't vet them hard enough...

I love that Mick wants to come along for said personal development reasons and NOT because he's Umbridge-ing them like I had been speculating. (that's a verb, I'm British, let it happen :P)

He and Sam seem pretty good at talking each other up about 12x14 - Sam credits them wholly with killing the alpha vamp, like he might have just been the trigger finger but they did everything (and he and Mick did pretty much tag team it all, from making the bullets to getting one TO Sam to shoot the Alpha so I can see how circumstantially, ignoring the bigger picture of why the Alpha was even there, Sam can see that it was all their work and he just happened to be the one who picked up the gun - of course symbolic for how hunters work with the BMoL anyway, like Ketch seeing himself as their razor blade for slitting throats and nothing more) but of course Mick now credits Sam and "his mum" with saving HIM and sorting out the mess by being competent, and he has learned from them far more than we've seen Sam develop as a result of working with them.

He's got the dangled bait of the world without monsters to look forward to, and knows he just has to be the trigger finger however many more times, and it'll be done. MICK has to think about it in many more directions, and has come to realise he's on the front line, and it's DANGEROUS, so he needs to be more adaptable and trained in ways other than extensive research. Sam and Dean are the best hunters in the world because they combine research and fighting, and have access to MoL research and a smaller library of their own to help them, which means they'd probably have held their own at Hunter Hogwarts as Mick's classmates, and yet because of the specialisation, Mick comes out miles behind them.

(Actual Hogwarts taught practical skills right alongside the theoretical and academic, meaning the BMoL have a long way to go :P)

I don't think this is going to go spectacularly well for Mick, BUT whether he survives the season or not, or ends up helping them or not, it's interesting that he is developing and learning and wants to be more like them. They have a sort of siren call to other creatures/people - I mean just look at Cas and Crowley transforming after being in their presence. Mick being the character who is now obviously changing while Ketch is as bloodthirsty and awful as ever at this point says a lot more than anything else that Mick is being earmarked for positive development/change and realising the error of his ways because he wants to be more like a Winchester. (It could also be sort of sad/pathetic for him if he becomes a groupie but for now it looks like positive, because he still is very self-assured and in a position of power and not yet changing his overall goals for them, and also sees them as a resource)

(also if you were ever going to go on a hunt, you'd want Sam and Dean, top shelf hunters, to come with you and protect you :P)

Anyway Mick does sound a shade scared/frantic as he makes his request so we'll see how that goes for him

Dean immediately like "He's dead weight"

ominious :P

"These people have some serious knowledge" shown over Mick attempting to fit a very large box into a very small bag

I'm cackling

"You can't learn this in a book: you put on a flannel, you pick up a gun..."

I'M CACKLING HARDER. Dean is made even more clearly the genre savvy character, aka parallel to Hayden in her short shorts.

Dean's got a brightly lit door behind him, Sam a dark staircase heading up. The bright yellow railings remind me of 9x23

ominous pt 3 (pt 1 was the parallel in the opening)

"The better they are the better we are" - yeah, that's definitely that speculation Sam was won over because he thought he could improve and change them for the better and make use of their resources and plans and not just surface level what he SAW but what he thought he could DO with what he saw. It's earnest but it is also somewhat assuming he's going to be a positive force of change and mould them, which when they're so untrustworthy and all, makes me really nervous about hubris coming for Sam. Especially when he's the last character to need an arc with hubris, except perhaps below Cas. :P

Again - "Mick held his own against the Alpha" - Sam crediting him with staying alive and maybe out-sneaking the Alpha but not exactly out-fighting him. Mick got thrown around and ended up not dying because the Alpha was more distracted with Sam as a known and more dangerous enemy in the room... Overselling Mick to make it sound like if he survived that... but he has no practical fighting skills and the whole point is cleverness won't get you so far, and you need to learn to fight, which is what MICK is saying, so Sam's misunderstanding there on a matter relating to Mick's safety and skill level...

Mick heard Dean saying he could be killed and Dean saying "Good" about him complaining about hearing that - because no sugar coating and if you're terrified for your life maybe you won't be an idiot, and listen to them :P

He then tells Sam he's babysitting Mick, which immediately makes me very worried for Mick because it puts Sam in a position of responsibility and of course narratively Mick is a very acceptable loss to demonstrate Sam's playing with fire with this decision.

Of course Claire is around so she's also going to be an innocent in the line of fire, again, for a decision that Sam and the BMoL will entirely get them involved in.

PFFT Mick is listening to that podcast that Sam mentioned in 12x07... Did Sam share it with him or do they have the same tastes? Obviously back in 12x07 Sam was lying and using the snobby intellectual content as a way to deflect Dean's interest, not expecting in a million years Dean would want to listen, even just to have some noise in the car - obviously there's always the chance Dean knew Sam was lying from the start (like when he knew Sam was working with the BMoL probably and was challenging him in the start of 12x15 about where his cases came from, again for content on Sam's phone he was lying about) - anyway this time they apparently are listening to the very thing Sam used as his deflection and cover, which is pretty bloody ominous

So Dean complaining about the podcast has all its own connotations about lying and Dean complaining about it because it was something used to hold up a cover once - at HIS expense of being the dumb hunter who doesn't care about history. So I'm guessing if he bitches about the history lesson Mick starts giving here about hunting monks (awesome) it's not because he's being portrayed as stupid by the writing, but he's portraying HIMSELF as stupid in rebellion and anger at all this.

"In Europe everything's old" pfft

Ohh dear, Sam's been working with them how long and NOW he finally has to ask, wait, even the monsters who aren't hurting anyone?

As it suddenly occurs to him, maybe they don't have any harmless vampire buddies (since Benny is dead) but wait, the BMoL are turning their attention to werewolves, and there's no werewolves in Britain because they killed them all, but GARTH.

Mick just raises his eyebrows like, okay, I'll believe that when I see it. He's been taught too much to give a monster the benefit of the doubt just because Sam and Dean said so.

So we had the Badger pub earlier, now the Wild Elk lodge - of course it's a werewolf episode, so there's a theme of the wildlife in the woods... *pauses to google the distrubution of badgers and laughs at how the American badger is all thin and fluffy instead of built like a terrifying tank on little tiny skittering legs like the badgers that make living here a bit interesting, if by interesting you mean terrifying* (Yes I know they're not even knee high, have you ever been charged by one on a dark night?) Anyway, whatever badger they were thinking of, not as bad as a werewolf - the badger is lucky, and the elk is wild, with a pretty majestic picture, and of course it's a super fancy hotel

Dean tosses the keys to Sam, and Sam fumbles them while trying to hold onto all the books from Mick. Probably not symbolic (filed under: "ominous" (pt.5))

Last night me and Mittens were laughing about how Mick wows them with the fanciest hotel in the area and was in a crappy motel when he was on his own.

This episode is now going down in infamy as the one where Dean was skinny dipping and we'd never see it in a million years

I like how he says they've "ruined" him - it's not like they've never stayed in (suspiciously) fancy places before, but Dean's in a sort of culture war here with their lifestyle vs being pampered by a rich sponsor. Of course he steals everything, and doesn't play by the rules when taking a swim, and obviously is being unnecessary gross, still (I mean who knows, he probably DID pack more than enough boxers this time and went swimming in a spare pair, but when it's time to tell Sam, he has to gross him out...)

Also 2 Glynn episodes in a row where Sam is openly revolted at the idea of Dean's naked body.

better informed meta than I could ever write has already been written about how that frames Sam in relation to Dean as a sort of parental figure rather than peers (e.g. I'm pretty sure it's a trope that groups of boys who are peers, either brothers & cousins etc, and/or friends, would skinny dip together in a totally non-sexual way in the sort of hazy summy nostalgia stories I generally associate skinny dipping with rather than "fancy hotel pool" where obviously it's rude and transgressive no matter who you do it with or even if you're alone, as Dean clearly was, to not get them kicked out :P)

Ooh werewolf cure. Plasma therapy - changing the bit that carries the blood, not the blood itself. I have no idea why I associate the lymphatic system with werewolves - if it was some pseudo science article speculating how it might work I read many moons ago, or if it's just because it's an "ly" word like "lycanthrope" :P

"Not going to give him the satisfaction" - Sam caught between both sides, knowing Dean's secrets, but having clearly had a more Mick-aligned experience yet again, staying up reading, and of course Mick finishing Sam's sentence about what the potential werewolf cure would have been.

LOL Mick uses "Buckingham" as an alias. Wow. Are you worried people won't notice you're British?

His methods get them access, which I think is really just an early victory for him - he IS very smart and quick thinking and obviously 12x14 showed he could keep up with Sam in that way... Beginner's luck worries me :P Obviously whenever Cas starts hunting he has a ton of bad luck starting out - this is probably an 8x08 parallel in that way, with the "You were being bad everything" parallel right now of gaining information in an interview and dealing with grieving family.

LOL the mom apologises to them and Sam's like "You have no reason to apologise after what you've been through" parallels to Mary and Sam much? I mean she was a parallel in regards to to Hayden and Ben anyway but now Sam's borrowing her too

Oh no the mom thinks it's a nightmare about what happened to her kids and she might just wake up and it'll all be better... I'm sure Mary's handling being dumped in a dystopian post-apocalyptic nightmare world just fine :P

*Sam and Dean recognise that Claire is Claire-ing via "smol, bad attitude"* - nice.

Wondering what the "big foot truthers" are and if they have a real part in this - obviously a guy in the mask parallels Thinman, too, as well as of course the original internet episode, Hell House, with the ghostfacers and Tulpa instead of ghostfacers and ANOTHER monster of their own creation that got out of control on the internet :P I also immediately remembered 11x16 for some reason and how the mom felt like her story was being discredited that it got picked up and reported by hokey paranormal websites - which was how Sam and Dean found the case, but was seriously upsetting her.

"Oh, NO" Mick realising he's going to have to set Sam and Dean on the girl to kill her, or at least, if this was the Great Mick n Ketch Roadtrip episode with no Sam n Dean it would be open and closed "welp she's bitten, now you go kill her" - Sam, Mick's way IN to this, has been like "the ones who don't hurt anyone!!" already so Mick knows he's reluctant. His own faith has been challenged by WAY more experienced hunters pointing out that not all werewolves are monsters in the metaphorical sense, and she's also like, 18 and a girl with a grieving mother hovering around her, so this is going to be MESSY.

Oh he hated telling the mother that. Compassion despite... all this. A CHANCE.

And yeah, he lies about her being bitten - most likely he decides Sam and Dean will be too sensitive to deal with her because they are terrible at finishing the job (see also: Magda, and does THAT come out this episode, because it's pretty likely Ketch was on the phone with Mick when describing how they couldn't finish the job)... He can't really DOUBT his "programming" so much he'd give her a chance, and anyway he knows Sam and Dean would approve of that method so it would be fine to bring it up.

Sam then failed to pick up the cue that it was Claire, that Dean immediately knew. Not sure if Sam's just not got his head in the game, or if it's obviously a point about Dean's greater closeness to Claire and probably a deep dread of her hunting and getting hurt even though it's what she wants to do and they've had to deal with that already before. If you're always running worst case scenarios for her, then eventually you'll be right :P

Heeey it's a Gas n Sip! I hurt inside!!

(Have... Have Biggersons been gone since Edlund left? I can't recall seeing more than a sign for one once... I can't believe he took Biggersons with him in the divorce)

Claaaaire

She has the red Gas n Sip logo (there's variations) and Cas is more likely to be associated with the blue... But it IS a Cas thing in GENERAL after his huge associations to it, so it's nice he's... sort of... watching over her, I guess.

She's got a beat up car with fast food rubbish in it, and a shoebox full of cheap phones. Oh, you are well settled in.

Like Hayden, she's lying to family about where she is and what she's doing.

Okay Dean making fun of Claire with a fake call to wildlife services is the best thing since his impression of Rowena :P

He should do more weird voices. I love when he has fun.

I'm laughing so hard because I forgot in the last hour that I already reminded myself of the alcohol thing and then not only did I forget but MICK forgot and bought Claire a drink, and then Dean's like DUDE THIS IS AMERICA WE DON'T LET GROWN ADULTS DRINK UNTIL THEY'RE LIKE NEARLY 30 and I was like what the hell she was EIGHTEEN TWO YEARS AGO

I'm with Mick here, let Claire have a beer. She's surrounded by responsible adults who'd never let her hurt herself >.> Bah, I suppose they'd never let it happen on American TV... We already had Hayden underage drinking...

Can't believe Dean watches Downton Abbey and loves it

Claire dealing with the downsides of being a smol blonde hunter on her own - grabby bartenders. Dean looks ready to kill a guy.

"Foreign exchange student" I do love outside beloved characters trying to figure out the plot from being back in the Winchesters' orbit for the first time that year. For example Jody trying to deal with all the times Dean and now Mary come back from the dead.

(Jody, off-screen, still not over it since 12x06: "WOW")

"Sam's best friend. They're like nerd soulmates" - just read Harry Potter already, you'll love it. Even BOBBY read Harry Potter, sheesh.

I don't think he's jealous of the BFF angle - at least not in the way Sam gets jealous, mostly because Dean has been able to make actual BFFs all over the place, and there's Cas and all... He's way more balanced about this particular thing, and would probably love Sam to have actual BFFs of his own if they were GOOD BFFs and not really sketchy operatives from some weird secret organisation that once tortured Sam :P Which is the angle he's playing up with his snarky criticism

Claire lying to THEM about Jody knowing and then deflecting about calling her, especially now she's with professionals who will keep her safe so OBVIOUSLY Jody wouldn't worry and be fine with it because c'mon, WINCHESTERS

yes I am aware this is the same reason Mick is happy going with them as I said earlier :p

Anyway Sam complains about road food, Dean defends it; again, mentions the Gas n Sip directly despite them not strictly knowing they "found" Claire at the Gas n Sip this time.

Claire and Cas parallels but also Dean defending living out of a Gas n Sip - metaphorically, but Cas LITERALLY did it.

"Not that there's anything wrong with that"

Pfft also Dean defending lifestyle choices connected to him and Cas... metaphoooor

"Go nuts, it's on Harry Potter"

Oh dear, Harry Potter is going to go kill Hayden. Surpriiise.

Except I assume this goes terribly wrong.

the lethal injection imagery is particularly unsettling - she's in hospital with a "condition" that's changed her life dramatically and this ~doctor~ is coming in and deciding for her to kill her with an injection because he decides her quality of life is not worth living/that she's a burden on society (because she will eat people's hearts but shh metaphor) and so he's just gonna kill her without even informing her about her ~condition~ or giving her any choices about it.

So yeah, he's only resembling some of the worst and most prolific serial killers ever - those "angel of death" doctors, who can often get away with it for a LONG TIME because people don't notice or don't value the people they kill.

"I'm sorry" well he feels a little bad about it at least.

Oooh moon activating a werewolf. I FORGOT HOW FUN THAT IS. This show seriously hates the moon :P it's such a classic image but it's so hard to structure a procedural monster hunt around it apparently. It's the sort of horror that's intensely personal to the one transforming or else the people in close proximity to them, depending on the metaphor. I suppose Bitten is the only other werewolf episode that could have realistically played with that because of the unusual framing, but it was expressly about CHANGING the werewolf lore to make it EASIER to write, so had to ditch this imagery anyway.

Also - new wolf eyes instead of the old contacts, these are more obviously CG and glowing and yellow, which is brilliant, and I approve.

I guess the moon touching her and her transforming is also the age old coming of age/puberty image for a female character (and female werewolves and the moon should be such a bigger thing but I suppose that would freak men out so no wonder I can't think of mainstream female werewolves :P)

Buuut then Mick immediately injects her and oh no, life cut short just as it began :<

At least she scratched him up a bit in the process.. never managed to bite him. Boo. Give him a REAL reason to re-think all this

Nooo she died.

Pfft I guess Mick's redemption will be via death then because that's put narrative karma firmly against him, no matter how much he may change his mind as he's being hinted to do.

THIS is great framing to make him look tiny, by putting Claire in the foreground:

"Hobbits" pfft

So now all the PROFESSIONAL HUNTERS know she was a werewolf because the doctor points out she's completely healed, so Mick just... missed her bite? BAD INTEL

"... Right Mick?"

Dean doing exactly what he threatened to do and actually being directly and instantly skeptical of their benefactor.

And Mick puts it down to a mistake, just like all the other bad intel they had... Awfully blurry what WAS a mistake and what wasn't

Like, they almost certainly knew about Ramiel, with this much hindsight of ~mistakes~ and bad intel.

Dean says he'll take Mick and Sam will take Claire, but he and Claire storm out together because they're, well, peas in a pod. It's adorable. I love them. Also it leaves Sam and Mick to stare ruefully at dead Hayden.

But then Claire is in Sam's trust now.

I think the bar is going to be a dead end and it will be someone Hayden knew, because of the silly teenage werewolf in a mask from the cold open :P Also Claire needs to be in peril, but Dean going fruitlessly to bars with someone he needs to talk to/suss out is a Thing

Claire is Dean - she said "awesome" and "dude" in the same breath, while telling Sam how she is. She also drove Sam there, and has her own plan and is telling him to stay behind.

He is firmly NOT in the fatherhood bracket to her.

Anyway Claire plays to her age, with her hair like that, and her headphones she puts on just as an accessory. Sam gets told he's old to his face, which is something Dean passed through in the last couple of years, but now Sam's there :P I already reblogged the gifset of this paralleled to the similar moment of Dean dealing with hunting with Charlie in 8x20 and her music and getting told he was old, and basically doing this 4 years ago, which, conveniently, is his and Sam's age gap.

Mick struggling to open the door with the American flag in the corner, mostly because he fucked up. LOL. He's been struggling to get through that door all season.

Oh great, the grabby tribal tat guy is the "Bae" that Hayden was seeing - obviously older than her, was gross to Claire, the same age as her, and this reminds me of 10x20 and how Dean smacked that guy's head into the table for calling Claire a bitch and TO BE HONEST I get the feeling we're about to find out that was not exactly Mark of Cain behaviour but protective Dad Dean behaviour :P

Dean is being super rude to Connor and defensive of Hayden aka the parallel to his daughter, Claire... heh

Dean accidentally-deliberately interrogates Mick at the exact same time as Connor and I am overwhelmed with love for him because he is brilliant okay

*Dean smiles until Mick admits to watching The Great British Bake Off*

Mary Berry would be ASHAMED of you, sir. Using her to lie like that! TUT TUT

*Sue and Mel closing in with various baking implements to enact their revenge on Mick's treachery*

... see now I just want this to end with Sue Perkins showing up in a swish suit and kicking the snot out of Mick and I know there's some wish fulfilment you just have to let go but it's still going to hurt not to get

Oh my god Dean now following up the Claire thing

"what are you, her dad?"

Uh, well.

Basically yeah, I would assume, after that threat :P

God I love how Dean and Cas are just her dads and that's a thing.

Mick wandering around in his beige coat just lampshades how WRONG this all is

I can not BELIEVE right after typing that Dean clamped his hand down on Mick's shoulder and gripped it tight

(to make him say "ow ow ow ow ow ow ow" and reveal his lies and falseness)

I can't WAIT to reblog a gifset of that and just tag it with "Dean's elbow fetish for ts" with no explanation on the reblog.

I mean DAMN that's a dark and horrible mirror... I suppose also Cas has a mercy-related story this season with Kelly and the nephilim, and he already learned his first lesson about mercy in 12x10, and took it with better grace (snerk) than Mick has here. I mean Mick has narratively fucked up into not coming back from this land, but Cas obviously has a longer game and has already softened and changed his position WITHOUT fucking up to learn it, or at least, only being tangentially connected to a historical fuck up, where it was very very easy to blame Ishim for everything :P

But yeah, Dean and Cas keep each other in check and the shoulder grab is their thing - now Dean uses it to expose lies and treachery on a dark Cas mirror, with that ~sacred~ touch of theirs being used to reveal the truth. Dean is like, on the side of Truth and Justice this season...

I don't think this necessarily means anything bad for Cas because he and Dean are in such a good place - rather it's using the example of Cas as a perfect GOOD person to show how terrible Mick is... Like I said about the Gas n Sip sign looking down on Claire, Cas is sort of all over the place here, and right now it's in Dean's use of that goodness in his life to expose the badness.

"I did what needed to be done" Oh hello thing people say when they done fucked up and know it. Last said by the guy in Red Meat who thought he'd killed Sam for the greater good of saving his own ass and his girlfriend's ass.

I think werewolf episodes are still connected to that same thread of thematic stuff that turned up the Mark of Cain arc, because 8x04 set up so much thematic imagery for it, it's ridiculous, and of course that "did what had to be done" was a key phrase of season 9 - said so often in some episodes you'd die on the drinking game of it :P

"she attacked me" PFFT BECAUSE YOU WERE A STRANGE MAN IN HER ROOM WHO WANTED TO KILL HER

"I had orders!" "You had a choice!"

Hello there Cas mirror from season 4 just like we all predicted back at the start of the season (okay, in some cases, about Toni, before she was shipped off and Mick replaced her - but SOMEONE in this organisation was gonna get to this point at some point this season :P)

But he made a bad choice and chose to lie and go behind their backs instead of questioning, thinking and talking. Obviously Mick has a ton of missing footage compared to Cas in season 4 - 4x16 is where HE began SERIOUSLY questioning and following his doubts through and Mick’s just not put in the same effort, and already fucked up where Cas had not.

Ooooh low blow then Mick brings up how Dean pals around with witches and demons - a witch who has saved their butts several times now, WILLINGLY, most recently in Glynn's last episode... And a demon who, well.

Mick tells Dean to do his job, Dean explains how it's not black and white - and how Magda is an example, and Mick is like... yeah we have a code... and doesn't tell Dean what Ketch did.

I hurt inside :P

VENGEANCE FOR MAGDA

Also this has abruptly made me wonder if Mick is even part-way redeemable despite his interest in learning just because of his stance in the argument and not telling Dean about Magda... There COULD be a more nuanced sort of thing where he's judged for being the passive evil that authorises such killings as Magda's, like the people in government positions who do the evil of the government in a way where the blood is never on their hands literally, only figuratively... it really depends on if Mick REALISES what this ideology will do in the end, but he's keeping this secret for now and it's been made clear where he is in relation not just to killing Hayden, but all the awful the BMoL do

like if he killed Hayden but then immediately regretted it instead of sticking his ground, then he could have had a teachable moment (pfft) and because of regretting the blood spilled of his OWN people he was at least somewhat potentially sympathetic at the start of this >.>

Claire goes and gets basically the same info as Dean did so I'm assuming creepy Connor is the werewolf just because he's the only character left with any connection to the MotW stuff :P

The parallel from the cold open switches around though - now Hayden is in too deep getting let into the bar on the down low by a guy who likes her and I guess wants to add her to his collection in the same creepy way the BMoL want to collect top shelf hunters... Got Sam on the hook, but the older brother is concerned and goes along to check on her and save her, and she's only doing this because she's bored and stifled and wants another life from the one she has... Her brother gets his heart ripped out for the trouble of protecting her >.>

(I think both the readings work it's just the episode does swap it around with this reveal that Ben went to protect her specifically, but he had no idea it was a werewolf, he just wanted to take her home away from the creepy older guy)

Oops, now Claire's lying is caught out. By Sam! Who is NOT ratting her out to Jody but letting her maintain that lie I guess while he feels Claire is under his protection so he doesn't need to worry Jody about it.

... Although makes you wonder from Jody's POV what exactly is going on when Sam phones her out of the blue to ask about Claire.

"... just wondering ... for no reason..."

Oh no Claire :< She just wants to be alone because no one gets hurt and everyone's happy if she's not a burden on the-e-emmmmm *beats fists on the floor*

Do you think that you can catch the morbs from having been possessed by someone with them :P She sounds like Cas, at least, last year, although who knows, maybe this is a parallel to how he feels about why he popped back to Heaven, because he's depressed and it doesn't always make sense why he would feel like a burden or that people want him to be something he's not (Dean just wants him to be THERE) but Cas probably still feels bad he fucked up that vampire hunt, and now Claire is alone and hunting and miserable, and... She's probably paralleling Mary and Cas tbh.

Owie ow ow.

Because Mary also feels like her family wants her to be something she doesn't feel like she can be. And also they were very precious with her to start with (12x03 she had a lot of better reasons to leave but I think she felt enormously stifled on the hunt)... Argh.

Sam sucks at talking to The Youth btw.

I find it quite ironic I watched 8x18 at some point in the middle of this and Victor makes a point of asking if Sam had kids or wanted them, and Sam's a bit like, no and eeeh in response, because, well, it's post-Amelia break up for him and it hurts and normal life is for people who shut the gates of hell and survive to tell the tale, really. But anyway. Yeah. Dean is effortlessly fatherly to Krissy or Claire; Sam struggles, and is surprised to be considered old, I think because he's still somehow got the backpack he had in season 1 that makes him look like a 10 year old schoolboy when he shoulders it, and in some ways he's never managed to get to the mature adult stage. Like, he needs to have genuinely lived it to absorb it into his personality, and he got as far as wanting to propose to a college girlfriend, or wanting to move in with Amelia and have a dog... He's never had a kid forced on him or someone he adopted... Magda was the first kid he'd potentially adopt HIMSELF for the entire show I think, and he still related to her directly; some part of him still resonates with the lost hurt child phase of life... I mean, watching season 8 and 12 concurrent, as I'm accidentally doing, we've got Sam wanting to shut the gates of hell and go live a normal life, and Sam wanting to rid the world of monsters and live a normal life. In both cases he's got this big hurdle before he grows up and completes any life stages I suppose.

Dean's sort of unintentionally matured on the fly, so he's still got an adorable childlike layer of his personality, but he also falls into being a father more naturally, and at the very least, something awoken by thinking Ben might be his back in season 3 for an episode, and having to think of him that way may have... idk flipped some levers or something. Sam's busy having it all ripped away and putting up big walls that need to be overcome before he can rebuild. Dean lost everything so young he's re-made his life within the framework of being who he is, and endgoals that fix everything don't mean as much to him - which goes right back to that conversation in 1x16 where Dean thought killing Azazel would bring the family back together to hunt, and Sam thought it meant he could go back to college and be a person again.

*Claire stomping off listening to music and shutting out the world* I bet she's not going to get grabbed when she walks through this patch of trees or anything

Wow she got attacked while walking through the patch of trees wow

(this is a totally muted reaction because I screamed "CLAAAAAAAAAAIRE" into Mittens' chat box with barely any context :P)

She did seem like she has learned to fight a little, but the werewolf just totally overpowered her :<

TBH I think she's probably close to normal hunter level - I mean Garth got bitten, and most hunters aren't crazily OP and used to fighting demons with nothing but a tea towel like Dean

I hope no one's complaining about her being useless or deserving that... I think we're spoiled by Sam and Dean

SAM HUGGING CLAAAAAAAAAIRE

SAM BEING DONE WITH MIIIICK

I'm glad it was that easy after all and they didn't keep a load of secrets or make it hard. Killing kids is the line and Mick crossed it, and Dean told Sam, and Sam is like, yep, okay, bye bye Mick.

Google: How to extract mom from BMoL now

Google: How to un-werewolf my ward before my angel finds out

I am not handling Dean's face in this scene

Dean's trying so hard. He looks.. argh

"Maybe some people can control this. But I can barely keep it together on a good day." Aka she already is angry and lashes out and runs off etc and that's not exactly got better from having a sort of stable life with Jody... So now she's a werewolf she's terrified of what she'd do to them with extra violence in her, and she loves Alex and Jody so much she doesn't WANT to be near them...

So yep, now we have the Madison dilemma back >.> "I'd rather die."

But this time Mick mentioned an old cure that doesn't work

Google: how has werewolf medical knowledge improved since the 1920s?

Ouch, 1/9 test subjects was cured. That's considerably worse odds than Dean had with the vampire cure - the Campbell recipe clearly described of the test subjects, one died and one lived.

It seems to work every time now so I assume they've refined the recipe a bit. Like, longer fever, but less chance of puking your guts up to death, because in 6x05 it happened quick and horrible but by 9x19 Alex is moaning and feverish and says she's been throwing up but is obviously having a slower recovery than Dean, but in a sense a long fever is much less violent and therefore easier to bear.

Oh, nope, that was mice (WEREWOLF MICE AAW) - we have one dead human, and Claire saying "second time's the charm" - same odds, with ominous test data behind it.

"It's my life. I get all the votes."

"It's her life"

Sam might not be great at the truth but he's always there for bodily autonomy.

Dean puts the fear of God into Mick and by that I mean fear of himself :P

Pfft the Lucky Badger has a huge "No under 21s" sign on the door which I don't think has been clear until now.

I find it somewhat surreal that a 20 year old is being treated as a minor and child but I suppose it's the law over there >.>

I suppose Mick buying her a beer was a real sign of the culture clash which also is symbolic of him just not getting how it works.

I LOVE they use a shot of the lurking Impala before they stalk Connor

OH NO He was just a jerk... who totally deserved that.

Now what???

There's like no leads to follow??? Maybe lurk in the woods and see if a weird man in a mask is around??

Meanwhile: high drama with Claire transforming and challenging Mick to kill her

AAAAAAH

Oh good he didn't kill her. >.> well if he learned his lesson it's too late for both him and the Winchesters and the whole mission.

And they'd better phone Mary as soon as this is over, like, get the hell over here and never answer your phone to them again

Pfft sedating and restraining her for his protection. Mick's really not very brave, and his methods are repeatedly showing his weaknesses, mostly because of his priorities.

Like, he thinks, I'm not as bad as Ketch but I'm still a coward and you're a scary monster

Oh no Claire being sad about not telling Jodyyyy and she's going to be so maaad

She loves Jody and Alex so much... this is killing me :(

AAAH MASK GUY

AAAH is that the OTHER douchey bartender? :P

"You can kill me later, after we find Claire" in a way, knowing you've fucked up THIS badly is somehow liberating :P

Ahaha, "Eat me, Teen Wolf" has that show ever been referenced here before?

LOL it's the "the apocalypse made me do it" excuse for an episode - same as the ghoulpires in 11x04 being like "welp the Darkness is coming we're all doomed" draws attention. Now this dick is like "Mary and Ketch murdered everyone I love and so I'm hurting people" which means the BMoL are the bad guys on BOTH sides of the equation.

"We weren't meant to live like this. A werewolf needs its pack" family stronger together message again, if very dark here

Sometimes monsters have a weird line on the truth - the vamps in 1x20 who talked about how revenge wasn’t worth it

Hahaha Claire calling out "nice guys"

Nooo, don't eat, Claire

"I have a family and they love me" AAH CLAIRE

It's like Cas's declaration in 12x12!! except no one hears it but here come Sam and Dean to save her!

(And Mick)

Uhoh Dean's got to fight Claire... this is not going to look good on his fight resume

oh nope, he did just knock her out via throwing her into the fridge

sometimes you have just got to deal with a problem, apologise, and move on :P

Yay Mick killed himself a monster

Now fix Claire pls.

She's very snarly still *looks dubious*

Oh noooo

OH YAY

I hope Dean went out to pray to Cas btw

She would make waking up with a face covered in blood look like a disney princess awakening

Why are they giving Mick a second chaaaance? Is this because he helped Claire? This is because they don't know about Magda because that was the second chance and this episode has made it suuuuper clear >.>

I mean THEY give him a second chance but to us and the story I think it's pretty clear Mick might help them at some point but he's on borrowed time and about the only way he could survive this now is if he, like, personally murders Ketch for them, although I'm not sure that will happen because Ketch and Dean seem destined for a reckoning, which to me means that Mick will probably get killed by Ketch and then Dean will kill Ketch and *invokes the entire Hmmmm whatcha say meme*

ANYWAY EVERYONE LOVES CLAIRE AND CLAIRE LOVES EVERYONE AND SHE CALLED JODY HER MOTHER AND THAT'S IT I'M DONE

*lies on the floor and weeps*

#12x16 #season 12 spoilers #my stuff

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