#this is fero speaking

[swordbreakerz]

I've been waiting to make this for weeks

[paingoes]

Rubies

Asking

“Aegre fero” here has a double meaning of “I’m sorry” and “It hurts”. Taking some license with the Latin I think. Forgive me.

(Content: living weapon whumpee, comfort!!!, crying, past trauma, conditioning, malnutrition mention, emotional whump, abuse mention, rocky recovery)

=========

Apollo readjusted the dials on the old receiver. He clicked in between the channels of the small device, listening in as best he could through the static. The sheer range of Galatea’s radio always impressed him. 

“-off the Western side now, escalating-“

“-running out of provisions! Just a reminder-“

“-tell Contra if she doesn’t fix her damn-“

“-worst summer in years, but not like-“

“-does anyone not need their kidney-“

Delta came out of his room, slipping quietly out into the hall. His short hair was hard to get used to. It was actually kind of curly when it wasn’t weighed down. Apollo thought it was cute. His expression was totally unreadable, but that was about typical for him. 

“Hey.” Apollo pulled one of the earbuds out. He didn’t move much beyond that. Delta had gotten comfortable enough that he didn’t feel the need to fuss after him nor the impulse to coax him out of hiding. It’d be better to stay still, not spook him too much.

Delta skirted the edge of the couch carefully and knelt down onto the carpet. He folded his arms on the cushion, resting his head down on top of them. It hid his face. Apollo took out the other earbud, leaning forward.

“You okay, bud?” Apollo’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. Delta hadn’t knelt for him in a while. He’d thought that he was getting out of the habit. Delta nodded, his face still buried in the cushion. Not speaking, but that was also to be expected.

“Do you want to sit up here?” Apollo offered, just in case he needed to be reminded that he was allowed to. He shook his head for no.

“…Okay. Let me know if you need anything, alright?” He only put one earbud back in. Delta spoke so softly, he didn’t want to miss it. He wasn’t going to force him to talk about it, if there was anything to talk about at all. Delta needed to do what made him feel safe. As odd as the behavior seemed to him, he wasn’t going to correct it. 

He turned his attention back to the radio, but kept his sights on Delta to see if there was any change. His eyes widened as he noticed the small hitches along his shoulders. He was definitely crying.

“Hey, hey.” Apollo put the radio aside on the couch, sliding down onto the floor. He touched Delta’s arm lightly, “C’mere.”

It was all the invitation he needed. Delta shifted off of the couch and into Apollo’s arms, burying his face in his chest. Small sobs wracked his body. Apollo was surprised at how silent he was being in spite of this. He made shushing noises reflexively, even though there was no sound. He felt the fabric of his shirt marginally tighten as Delta gripped it. 

“Aegre fero.” Delta’s voice wavered. It was only when he spoke that Apollo could hear just how much trouble he was having breathing. He carded his hands through his hair.

“It’s okay. Deep breaths, yeah? Four-seven-eight,” he said. Delta knew how. Apollo had caught him doing them alone before, unprompted. He was clearly used to being the only one to calm himself down. Apollo’s heart ached at the thought of him sitting up whenever they had kept him, forcing himself stable for somebody else’s sake. Still, he slowed his breathing, picking up the pattern. From where Delta was curled into his chest, he should’ve been able to hear it well. His shoulder blades gradually steadied. The shaking stopped. He didn’t let go.

“Do you…like when I play with your hair?” Apollo’s hands stilled. He realized he’d never actually gotten permission to touch it. He probably should have. Delta nodded slowly. His face was still hidden. Apollo continued to run his hands through it. It was very soft — and seemed to be a lot healthier than it had been when they’d first picked him up. He was proud of that, the way the malnutrition symptoms were gradually fading. He had missed cooking for people.

It took a while before Delta would pull away. His face was flushed when he did, eyes bleary. He looked down like he was ashamed. Apollo patted the couch cushion.

“Sit up, sweetheart.”

Delta climbed onto the couch, pulling his legs up to his chest. He was always more responsive when given direct orders. Apollo didn’t want to force him, but honestly, his joints couldn’t take any more time on the floor. He stood up himself, disappearing briefly to retrieve a cup of water. He brought back the burner phone too, passing both of them to Delta.

~

It was mortifying. When had he ever cried? He could count on one hand the number of times he had done it over the last two years. On two hands, he could count the last decade. Now it was like he couldn’t stop. He wasn’t supposed to behave like this. He had learned, so early on, that he was not supposed to behave like this.

It had felt so nice to be held for a second.

Mortifying.

Apollo sat back down on the couch and opened the IRC program. The burner phone buzzed in Delta’s hand. He unlocked it.

sunspot: Hey

nodiving: hi

nodiving: sorry

sunspot: Do you want to talk about it?

nodiving: i dont know

nodiving: i dont know whats wrong with me

nodiving: im not supposed to be like this

sunspot: Be like what?

nodiving: pathetic

sunspot: Why do you think it’s pathetic?

nodiving: because it is

“That’s circular logic,” Apollo said aloud. Delta typed faster.

nodiving: im not supposed to need anything and i usually dont

nodiving: now i have to keep bothering you for everything even things that dont matter

nodiving: im sorry

He began to type something else, but couldn’t bring himself to. He knew he should be punished for it. For having the audacity to even take notice of the emotion, let alone make it someone else’s problem. He should’ve just stayed in his room until it passed. 

sunspot: Everyone needs things. 

sunspot: I’ve been telling you this entire time to please come to me if you need anything

sunspot: Thank you for trusting me enough to take me up on that

Delta blushed, his fingers idle about the device. Apollo looked him up and down.

“When you say ‘things that don’t matter’,” he ventured cautiously, “You mean your own feelings?”

Feelings. The word itself sounded childish to him. He was supposed to be above it, as cold and mechanical as they’d trained him to be. But his skin was still damp where he’d been crying. It was a little late for that.

He nodded. Apollo couldn’t be mad at him for it; Delta already acknowledged their own worthlessness. It wasn’t a lie.

“Okay,” Apollo said softly, “I understand why you would think that. Nobody’s had much regard for them throughout your life. But it’s not true. Your feelings do matter. It was wrong for anybody to make you feel like they didn’t.”

No they don’t. Delta hid his face in his hands. He shouldn’t need this. He recoiled from the words as if they had burned him. No they don’t.

“I know you might not believe me right now. That’s okay. I’m still really proud of you for coming to me with this instead of trying to deal with it alone. Even if you think it’s not important, I still want to know what you’re feeling. It matters to me.”

Awful.

“Delta?”

“Yes, sir.” He nodded, showing he had heard. Not that he agreed, just that he’d heard.

Apollo paused while he caught his breath. It took a lot of effort to try and recover from what he’d just said. It still burned.

“Do you want to try?” Apollo encouraged.

Delta nodded, picking the phone back up. He typed slowly and decisively.

nodiving: nothing caused it

nodiving: im just sad

“Thank you. That’s a really good start, Delta. I know you’re not…used to talking. So maybe you don’t have all the vocabulary you need for it right now?”

Delta’s eyes narrowed at that, the mention of vocabulary. He wasn’t stupid. He read books.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that. I know you’re smart.” Apollo raised his hands in mock surrender. “Your technical skill is advanced. You’re great at arguing. I know. All I’m saying is that you probably don’t have a lot of practice talking about this kind of thing. It might be difficult at first. And that has nothing to do with your intellect.”

That was objectively true. He had no idea what to describe what was happening to him, not with all the words he knew. He thought of the one that had shocked him most when they first suggested it. Abuse. He knew the definition. He did not see how it could slot into his life. Many of the words they used triggered that same uneasy feeling in him. Chess-piece. Feelings. Love. 

Most days, he could barely talk at all.

“I’m...gonna get you some CBT workbooks or something. We can work on it more later. Is there anything you need for right now though? Anything that normally helps?”

He didn’t know anything that would help. He’d never felt like this before. Whatever it was, it seemed like it was receding. The mood had passed.

He realized that crying might’ve helped. Touch. Talking. All the things he’d never been allowed before. All the things he thought he didn’t need.

Mortifying.

…………

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @vivulapom @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety

[katthekatt]

I know it's already a thing, but here is my take on a Saren/Nihlus reverse AU because I really wish we could see more of both of them. Spoilers for the whole Mass Effect 1.

Okay, so Saren, while on the Normandy, is cocky and doesn't believe Shepard is fit to be a Specter, although he does see them as capable based on their background. I still want Saren and Anderson to be the ones with history between each other, so while on the ship, both of them are very passive aggressive towards each other much like in the scene in front of the council with Saren being accused. Saren is dismissive of Anderson and thinks this whole thing is a joke while Anderson is at his wits end trying not to punch the turian for Shepard's sake. The rest of the crew pretty much dislikes Saren because of the way he acts, but agree he is all that because he can back it up.

On Eden Prime Saren is like Nihlus quick to run on his own because he believes the humans will slow him down. And while Shepard's part is much the same with some jabs between them and Saren when they get updates on each other, Saren's part as Nihlus is a bit different. When he recognizes Nihlus, he is more careful and doesn't turn his back on him and actually gets to fight him. This is due to Saren's more careful/paranoid nature, which ultimately saves his life, but he is still overwhelmed, and when Shepard gets to him, he is in critical condition. Everything proceeds normal after that, with Nihlus getting to the beacon and then Shepard breaking it.

For the first ark on the Citadel, Saren is in a coma due to his injuries, and Shepard has to fight with the Council to show Nihlus' part in this only for them to be dismissed. There is also a subplot of Saren being almost assassinated, which is where he can die for the first time in the game. If Shepard lets Saren die, it's because of Tali that Nihlus is revealed to be working with Matriarch Benezia and the geth. If Saren is saved, he wakes up on time to crash the council meeting while they are presenting the evidence against Nihlus and backs it up. Before departing from the Citadel but after talking with Anderson, with him revealing his history with Saren, Saren shows up, and you can recruit him. If you don't recruit him, he helps you from the side with connections. Saren also goes on his own to hunt for Nihlus while you are, and you run into him on several occasions. A consequence of not recruiting Saren ends up in special dialog in the second game with him already knowing about the collectors because of already being on his own investigating.

If you take him in your crew, you can find him on the bridge next to the galaxy map. Some of his special dialogs are about becoming a Specter, about Anderson, The council, and about Nihlus. Like Wrex and Garrus, he has a special mission related to a Specter investigation he had prior to being assigned to oversee you. In the beginning, he is closed off and seemingly annoyed about Shepard talking to him, but with the story's progression, his respect for you grows, and he is much more open for when you talk with him.

Taking him on Noveria has him recognized as a Specter, and entering is much easier. While traveling to the facility like Liara, he can talk about Matriarch Benezia, and when you have both of them on your team, they have a unique dialog about her. With fighting the rachni, he recognizes what they are and gives little comments like "Those were.. no, I'm probably mistaken" kind of lines. With the confrontation with Benezia, Saren speaks up about how low she has fallen. He seems unapologetic even when it's revealed she has been mind controlled. He is highly against letting the Rachni Queen go and berates you if you choose to spare her.

On Feros, if you take him, he is less concerned about the civilians and cares more about getting the mission done, so you experience a bit of what Anderson had to deal with. Saren is all for you to kill Matriarch Benezia's soldier when she is off of the Thorian's control. He again berates you if you spare her. When having to fight the civilians, he seems to have to issue with killing them before Joker mentions the gas granades. At the end of the mission, Shepard confronts him about his lack of care for the loss of civilian life and mention what Anderson told them. This is the second time Saren can die, this time at your hand, because if the argument escalates, he draws a gun on you. This conversation has a lasting effect on your relationship with him, even in the later games.

On Virmire, he has special dialog when confronting Nihlus and him almost being killed when trying to shoot him down. Other than that, he just comments on how capable captain Kirrahe and his team are.

Before the final assault on Ilos, Shepard and Saren have a talk, he comments on how he now sees Shepard if quite fit to be a Specter and that he was wrong about them after seeing them in action. If you take him with you on Ilos, he has a weird feeling about the place, and with the reveal at the end, he is quite surprised like everyone. With confronting Nihlus at the end, his choice words are influenced by your talk of Feros depending on your choices. If Nihlus kills himself, Saren congratulates him for being strong enough to do what was necessary if Shepard kills him in the first phase of the boss fight, Saren insults him for letting himself be controlled to the very end. With the start of the second phase, Saren's sentences go from "Even in death loyal to them, huh?" To "His sacrifice was meaningless at the end." At the very end, he congratulates Shepard and tells them he looks forward to working with them.

That is for ME1, I might post more of this with ME2 and ME3, plus more detailed relationships of Saren and the crew in the future.

[literallyjusttoa]

Hi! I started reading toa and I love it so far, I found your blog and I really like it! but I've been having a hard time finding a lot of fandom content, could you recommend me some toa blogs that you know please?

Ok so number 1: @ukelele-boy. Guys ukeleleboy is so cool. If you want some incredible art and really cool hc you should definitely follow them. 

@sierice is another blog I would definitely recommend. I swear she manages to find every post related to ToA on the site lol. She’s also the accidental creator of Polldona!

Speaking of collections of ToA stuff on tumblr, @the-toarchives is collecting all the ToA content on tumblr, so definitely check it out!

I adore @heresronnie21 ‘s art, and all of their headcanons about Apollo. Seriously one of my favorite artists in the ToA space. 

@flzzypop is also such a good ToA fanartist!!! They’ve said they’re taking a bit of a break from ToA related stuff, but you should still absolutely give them a follow bc their art is just so cozy and wonderful.

I just love @trials-of-apunllo. Like it’s so good.

@txny-dragon has such adorable art, I smile everytime I see it. Also they're running the apollo ship tournament right now and I am so hyped for that.

@ferodactyl Is, as stated in their blog description, the CEO of Sunflower Sibs. Fero's art is amazing, their writing is stellar, and they've organized a whole bunch of events for the ToA fandom over the years. Honestly I don't think the ToA fandom would be what it is today without Fero.

@choconoru does art of the riordanverse in general, and all of it is beautiful and I love it. Their most recent piece of Lester is literal gold!

Another great fanartist is @moodyseal !!! She's been around for a while and her art is always sucha treat. I love her AoD design it's beautiful

Another og is @flightfoot . As she's said, she's more posting about Miraculous Ladybug now, but I followed flightfoot when I first started looking into the ToA fandom which was years ago. To me, Flightfoot is a fandom pillar, and definetly a blog you should check out.

I'm not going to lie I know there are many more blogs to recommend but I feel like I just haven't reached out enough to know them all ahhh. If any of my fellow ToA blogs want to reblog this with their own recommendations I would be thankful!!

[dragonflight203]

Mass Effect 2 replay, beginning:

-Right from the start the vibe is obviously different.

Mass Effect 1 has a slow, exploratory intro. You get to walk around the Normandy and have the option to talk to different characters in the depth you choose. Then you’re dropped on Eden Prime and alternate between combat and talking to survivors.

Mass Effect 2 drops you right into an exploding ship, then into a base under attack. Far more cinematographic, but noticeably less world building and less talking.

Neither is wrong, per se, but I greatly prefer Mass Effect 1.

-Miranda’s introduction centers her sexuality. First you see her back and ass, then you see her stride forward shaking her hips to an excessive degree, all in that cat suit.

This never helps my first impression of Mass Effect 2.

At the start, Miranda’s the only female main character* – next up are Jacob, then Wilson, then TIM. There are other female characters, but they’re all in the background.

So the only prominent female character in the introduction of ME2 is heavily sexualized, much more than the average female character in ME1.

This does not make for a promising start. While it’s not enough to ruin either game, the increased sexualization of female characters through ME2 and ME3 remains irritating throughout. I prefer the greater gender neutrality in ME1.

*Excluding Shepard, who can be either gender

-It’s odd that Miranda blames the Council not listening to Cerberus on their low opinion of humanity. I’d wager Cerberus being a terrorist group is a greater problem.

Then again, at this point Miranda genuinely believes all the cells we destroyed in ME1 are “rogue cells”, so I suppose she doesn’t consider Cerberus to be terrorists.

-The game intro states the attack on the Citadel is officially blamed on the geth and Saren.

This is the line the Council will stick to later when speaking to Shepard – does Shepard ever consider that they’re getting the “official line” treatment because they’re with Cerberus?

There’s no indication of it in the game, but it’s a reasonable extrapolation.

-Why don’t the Collectors target the escape pods?

We know that must of the Normandy crew survives. Ergo, the escape pods make it away.

Shepard was the Collectors target – how did they know Shepard wasn’t in one of the pods?

This can probably be credited to some kind of advanced technology if you want to do so, but it feels like an oversight.

-The Alliance was right to ground Joker. He is the reason Shepard dies – if he had obeyed orders, both he and Shepard could have made it to the escape pods. And since the Collectors didn’t target those, they would have survived.

-What is the popular opinion of the art for the Genesis comic? Personally, I’m not fond of it.

-Shepard still refuses to acknowledge that the Council had a point in the first meeting about Eden Prime. They state that the Council refused to believe one of their spectres could have attacked the colony, and that they wanted evidence so Shepard had to go and find proof.

Why is wanting proof that someone committed a crime before convicting them of it a bad thing???

-The comic skips Feros completely. I suppose that’s reasonable, since it’s main purpose is to let players make some of the major choices that carry over to ME2 and Feros doesn’t have any.

The cipher isn’t critical to any plot points in ME2, so no need to review it.

-The comic takes many poetic licenses.

I was never interested in romancing Liara, but the comic certainly makes it sound like I was.

Benezia also doesn’t die in Liara’s arms – you might not even have recruited Liara at that point. However, the comic always says that she does.

-It also keeps talking about relays into dark space. There’s only one known relay to dark space: The Citadel relay. That’s a major plot point, so odd that it’s not correct.

-It says Saren died believing the Reapers would save him. That’s not true – if you kill him, there’s no indication that Saren expected the Reapers to intervene.

In my playthough Saren actually killed himself, but again this comic is intended for players that did not play ME1. I suppose the game defaults to you needing to kill Saren.

-Since I went neutral on the Council choice in ME1, I did have to choose a councilor in the comic. No neutral option here.

I went with Anderson. At least that way the first human councilor dies a hero, rather than a traitor.

-As many others have said, how does Shepard know that the pistol is missing a thermal clip?

I thought they might have been familiar with some prototype weapons created to use thermal clips and recognized it as such, but Shepard dies only a month after the attack on the Citadel. Feels a bit too soon for thermal clip weapons.

-Ah, ME2 combat how much I dislike you.

Insanity is much harder. My shields are worthless.

-The irony here is rather sad. Shepard (from their perspective) just killed Saren, who preached about how they’re the pinnacle of evolution as an organic and machine intertwined thanks to the enhancements Sovereign gave them.

Now they’re in a lab hearing about how Shepard is a mix of flesh and synthetics. Just like Saren was a mix of flesh and steel.

The game could have really added some depth by leaning into the horror aspect of all this, maybe some fears that Shepard will become like Saren. Shame it did so little.

-The game emphasizes repeatedly, over and over, how Shepard is just how they were before they died.

This is waste of a Chekhov’s gun – the repeated protestations feel like they should result in some kind of dark reveal, but they don’t.

So instead it feels like a plot thread left hanging, and you’re left wondering why the game won’t shut up about it.

-The game doesn’t even try to hide that Wilson is up to something. Every line out of his mouth is suspicious, and most noticeably when he’s in the party you can’t go to the squad menu.

Given you just recruited Jacob, you likely went into it to distribute his powers. So when you go to do the same for Wilson you’ll notice it’s disabled.

ME1 and ME3 handle this better with Jenkins and Anderson.

-And ME2 is already massively downplaying Cerberus’ behavior in ME1. If you go paragon, Shepard says it’s some kind of pro human splinter group they ran into a few times.

Really? No mention of killing Admiral Kohaku? All the experiments? Attempting to use the Thorians and Rachni as weapons/tools? The colony they murdered? The squad of marines fed to thresher maws?It’s just a pro human splinter group?

I’m playing Sole Survivor Shepard. This is ridiculous.

-Once again, ME2 is structuring it so the human female companion is renegade and the human male companion is paragon.

Notably, however, Miranda is cold compared to Ashley’s warmth and Jacob is emotional compared to Kaidan’s logic.

-Miranda first says that it’s fine to abandon the other survivors, because Shepard is the only person on the station worth saving.

Then she says that’s completely fine leaving to you to rot on the station with the mechs if you refuse to go with her.

Make up your mind.

-Very irritatingly, when you speak to TIM you can’t choose any of the investigation options AND go paragon.

Let me find out everything I can and still tell him to fuck off because he’s not trust worthy, damn it.

-TIM claims the Alliance isn’t acting on the missing colonies because they don’t have the resources. Nice of him to throw shade at Shepard for saving the Council – I take it that the lack of resources are because of the ships lost doing so.

Also, this is a lie – the Alliance is upgrading colony defenses. In the description of Freedom’s Progress it notes colony defenses had recently been increased, and later we see the Virmire Survivor doing so on Horizon.

(I’m also reminded of the codex entry where humanity is seen as unusual for having so many colonies without dedicated defenses. Humanity insists this is fine because the Alliance can quickly move to any colony’s defense as needed, but the evidence certainly indicates otherwise…)

-I do believe that TIM genuinely believes Cerberus to be acting in humanity’s best interests here. Cerberus is a pro human group, and this is protecting humanity.

That it also aligns with his long-term goal of obtaining Collector technology is a bonus.

-If you go paragon, the game says you can part ways with Cerberus if you don’t believe what TIM’s telling you. Shame that’s not actually true.

-Shepard asks TIM if Miranda and Jacob are trustworthy. This is recurring question that they’ll ask later companions as well – they spend most of the game making up their mind on the two.

-Why is Freedom’s Progress in the Terminus Systems? I thought the Alliance was settling the Attican Traverse?

-Jacob, if you go neutral (paraphrased): Most Alliance soldiers hate Cerberus on principle.

Jacob, Cerberus murdered an Admiral. And a squad of marines. And a colony. It’s not on principle, it’s for an abundance of good reasons.

[wereshrew-admirer]

2020 15daysofFatT Day 15: Celebration

This new dirt might not have a connection to Hieron at all, but after a day collecting oldworld flowers and speaking to them as though Samol himself might be listening, Fero buries his words just to be safe - in case the old man can feel them

(this was inspired by a game annie made for the same day; "A short game to play in celebration of that old dragon, Hieron himself.")

[morethanroommates]

On the path to Feros (original writing)

<This is my first time sharing my fanfic writing on Tumblr>

Liara idly hummed to herself as she walked to the Med Bay. Deep in her thoughts, the familiar whoosh of the bay door opening caught her by surprise. Doctor Chakwas stepped aside to make room for Liara to pass.

"Doctor T'Soni, good morning."

Fortunately, Liara hadn't walked into the Normandy's chief medical officer.

"Oh, good morning, Doctor! I'm sorry, I...am preoccupied this morning, it seems."

Doctor Chakwas' open demeanor always made Liara feel at ease. She wasn't feeling much at ease in general this morning, however.

"It's no problem, Liara. I, too, get lost in my thoughts when working through a problem. What does the Commander have you working on now?"

"Oh! Tali and I are tracking Geth communications in the Attican Traverse. I am hopeful we will be able to triangulate their position before we reach Feros."

"Good luck, doctor. Let me know if I can be of help. I'm off to speak with the Commander about some medical irregularities that have recently been reported on Feros."

"Thank you, Doctor." Liara turned and walked into the Med Bay, making her way to her office at the back. As she sat down and began to crunch numbers at her terminal, she felt even more preoccupied and at odds than before.

The truth? Shepard hadn't asked Liara to look into anything in a few days. In fact, they hadn't spoken privately for nearly a week. She felt frustrated and emotionally roiled. Why?

This was too much. Emotions cannot affect her work. They must not. She collected herself and dove into analyzing the Geth encrypted network messages. Deeply focused, she lost track of time. This flow was one of her favorite places to be.

"Do you have a minute, Liara?" Shepard's confident and melodious voice came behind her.

Liara's stomach dropped to her feet, and she could feel heat coming into her cheeks. Taking a deep breath, she swiveled her chair to look at the Commander, steeling herself to meet the Commander's gaze.

"Yes, Commander. How may I be of assistance?"

[misspickman]

fero pickman and xue yang. i know all your comics friends have you covered

fero !

Sexuality Headcanon: bi i think. i dont think hed care about defining that tbh. also keith once called him aromantic on twt and idk if thats generally considered canon but i enjoy it<3

Gender Headcanon: little guy. again to me? genderqueer but idk if hed care about it. in a modern au maybe, but less because he wants to define it and more because people would ask that of him. which maybe just makes him refuse to define it even more. much to think about

A ship I have with said character: ephero.. theyre so real in my heart.. i dont think about them much anymore but when i do. ah :(. also ferol he fucked that old man

A BROTP I have with said character: fero and hella and adaire,, what we could have had,, also mother glory. and samol. anyone of the main pcs tbh just put this guy in dynamics

A NOTP I have with said character: uhh idk honestly. i cant think of anything rn? im sure i have some but ?

A random headcanon: do you remember when we gave him a bunch of cats in our au. also: always fixing shit. this is how he shows he cares. he will not say it but he will fix that hole on hellas roof and be grumpy the whole time

General Opinion over said character: he has changed my brain chemistry irreparably. listening to seasons of hieron and going hes just like me fr (derogatory)

pickman!!!

Sexuality Headcanon: lesbian. probably not something she thinks about much, a la "im probably nb but i have a job so idc about that now"

Gender Headcanon: my big butch wife. but in general same as above, she is what she is and shes too busy to dwell on it, and its not like its anyone elses business, right? also what even Are gender expectations of a caprak? i dont think this is ever discussed but i would like to know

A ship I have with said character: pickman/chantilly scathe.. man

A BROTP I have with said character: alekest :) and colette<3

A NOTP I have with said character: uhh idk i cant imagine her with men. the lesbian energy is off the charts

A random headcanon: i would like to think she gets more into art after zevunzolia. maybe into wood carving. it would be sweet. would she write poetry.. i dont think she would consciously sit down to do it but she is Very good at writing letters (thanks jack, for that<3)

General Opinion over said character: miss pickman my wife miss pickman.. we shall have a spring wedding.. i think about her six travelers ep So much. "I think it is something magical that separates us. Again, I am not speaking metaphorically."

xue yang :)

Sexuality Headcanon: probably bi. similar to what i said for fero but for entirely different reasons, i dont think hed care

Gender Headcanon: you see this is a Question. its been so long since ive actively thought about this so i cant articulate it but theres something going on there

A ship I have with said character: songxue, songxuexiao, i love a very horrid and messy xueyao too. any ship with xue yang is horrid and messy but in most cases the horridness is one sided but in xueyao its both of them. this increases the levels of horridness. u get me

A BROTP I have with said character: in my beautiful mind and nowhere else? wen qing. in a more realistic sense aqing and meng yao

A NOTP I have with said character: oh im sure there are many xue yang ships i would not enjoy but i dont wanna think about it rn. but uhh him and mo xuanyu? i just dont vibe

A random headcanon: in any modern au i am giving this guy soo many tattoos and piercings. also motorcycle guy

General Opinion over said character: i miss him its such a shame i can never step back into that fandom. also changed my brain chemistry but in a completely different way

[mass-effect-anonymous]

Full Confession Under the cut due to length

CONFESSION

I'm realizing Feros' quest makes no sense. ExoGeni only knew about the Thorian for a little over a month before the start of ME1. Saren somehow knows of the Thorian's existence, somehow knows it has a connection to the Protheans, knows EXACTLY where it is, invades Zhu's Hope with a small army of Geth that none of the colonists sees, gets the Cipher, leaves, and THEN decides the Thorian needs to die and sends an army of Geth to the colony, but has the majority of the force in the ExoGeni HQ for no reason and not at the colony itself.

Somehow, despite smaller contingencies of Geth flanking the colony from either side, the Thorian manages to control unequipped farmers and very minimal security detail to fend off the Geth long enough until Shepard gets there, despite the fact the Geth have managed to completely wipe out an entire squad of trained soldiers multiple times.

If Saren got his information on it from Sovereign, that's even more headscratching. If they knew the Thorian was older than and had close ties to the Protheans and was extremely powerful, how come the Reapers didn't harvest it alongside the Protheans? It's all so contrived.

How did the Thorian even know Shepard learned of its existence? The main force of the Geth threat was in ExoGeni HQ. Shepard's entire goal was eliminating the Geth and only learned about the Thorian thanks to a Krogan speaking to a VI on a random staircase landing. The Thorian had no thralls in ExoGeni HQ, thus it had no reason to believe Shepard even knew of its existence unless they started asking colonists questions about it, which obviously never happens.

And then, on top of it all, the worst offender of this entire rant (/s), Lizbeth's mom learns about the Thorian and is confused about what it is until 0.00002 seconds later when she suddenly knows EXACTLY what it is and just happens to conveniently have an anti-Thorian gas grenade to non-lethally KO the colonists? The same colonists we haven't seen actually attack the player yet, and are just under the assumption that they'll shoot on sight because Joker said they're slapping the Normandy a little bit with their grimy little hands? It's... bad.

:

[humanmorph]

speaking of. i should add art to feros fatt.wiki page sometime i really should

[arwainian]

F@tT Fic Marathon: 1141-1160

with this twenty I reach the end of 2019 and the start of secret samol 2019! I've got lots of recommendations today for a whole host of reasons

fill your lungs up by waveridden - a modern AU Echo/Gig that translates Echo's canon lack of connection to the Mesh as having a real-life hearing impairment, which I like! more modern AU Echos should be disabled

Despite My Attachment, My Legs Were Deemed Unfit for Utopia by WifeWifeCity - speaking of Twlight Mirage and disability! Here's a short original character fic. I'm not even sure i liked this fic, but I wanted to shout it out because it gave me a strong urge to like have a book club type discussion regarding it. what is this saying about disability in science fiction and utopia? does this depiction of the By-And-By resonate and fit with what we see of its canon cultural philosphy?

until it goes unnoticed by waveridden - Aria and Jillian get stuck on a subway train and have to actually talk to each other. I really liked this! big weird emotions in it!

Team-Building by Shadaras - as far as I can tell, this is the first Partizan fic!! its about how SBBR came together

Do You Drive It Home? by tmhector - and the second Partizan fic! ish. it's also extremely cool digital art of Cassander, but its about the partizan perspective on them

Unravelling by 3RatMoon - Hella writes Lem and Fero some letters post SiH. good Hella, good Lem, and good Fero (i feel like fic that really Gets Fero is so hard)

now for music there is this awesome TenFour playlist and this fansong that's meant to be written by Samol!!!, I am listening to it on repeat while typing this up

and for secsam art recs I have this Helladaire, and this Ephrondir

words read: 28,700 (3,117,765 total)

works remaining: 780

next twenty:

[swordbreakerz]

I'm only 5 and a half eps in so I'm hesitant to be so sappy so quickly but spring in hieron is so so comforting already and despite the name definitely feels like something meant to be listened to during winter? In the sense of like, seasonal affective disorder usually knocks me out and even tho I'm sure as I get farther in sih will also knock me tf out in typical f@tt fashion, what I've heard at least has been something to latch onto for that sense of hope that the sun will come back yk? The party isn't doing Great and it's gonna get worse before it gets better, certainly, but it's not all gloom, and it's gonna get warm again eventually

[shalalalalaw]

Wrote a small blurb hurt/comfort for my Guardians and im crying over them q-q

tl;dr Feros-8 stayed on Io at the end of Arrivals and got eaten by the Darkness and later resurfaced on Europa and his Ghost, Mia, took a long time to recover from it. Meanwhile, Schala-2 was the only one who asked friends and the Vanguard to let him go, let him face his fear and his trauma instead of continuing to spiral until he 'fell'. (They are a fireteam/poly partners.)

Feros is still scrubbing dust from between the segments of his toes. An entire week after they came back from the Spire and he still hasn't managed to clean all his crevices, much less their weapons.

He broods over a scout rifle, its varnished wood and polished synth brass covered in dust and all the grime that got picked up by radiolaria splashes all along its length.

He doesn't even hear Schala come in.

Only notices they're there when their thin hands come between the barrel he's polishing and his face.

He blinks at her and puts it all down.

She lingers, hands awkwardly hovering in front of them like they haven't decided what to say, if to even say it.

It's a rare time that he sees her hesitate. 

Apprehension gathers in his muscles as he watches her hands twitch, abandoned motion after abandoned motion. Then her throat lights catch his eye, just for their sudden appearance.

But not even a trace of her raspy voice filters through.

He wipes his hands and reaches for their hands, slowly. Giving ample time to pull back, not let him cut off their 'voice' even for the sake of comfort.

But they don't move, and he pulls them gently around to sit on the couch with him, shoving the low table with his supplies to the side.

He rubs careful circles over her palms and her head slowly hangs. Feros' jaw twists, sits awkwardly against his upper lip. He hates not knowing what to do. 

They sit, knee to knee, in the heady light of noon. The silence isn't a stranger to them, Schala almost never speaks and Feros is more inclined to doing than telling.

Between the two of them, it's a miracle they communicate.

He bites down a bitter chuckle on how all his previous relationships and fireteams fell apart, if they didn't die first, from that same lack, but here seems to work just fine. For all that all of those people were infinitely more talkative than both of them combined. 

He entertains the idea that Schala probably has lived through every single of their interactions over an impossible amount of lives spent together, she might as well know his every thought, so he might as well have no need to speak ever again, and immediately scraps the thought.

'I am human, I can't save everyone. I have to accept that; my mistakes.'

She said that, when he'd told her that chasing after Saint-14 in the Infinite Forest was suicide. And then she chased after him anyway. They did it; Schala and Osiris. But she had just as readily accepted that, this time, they might fail.

He sighs, keeps rubbing soothing circles into their palms and realigns his jaw to sit properly.

"I'm sorry."

It's so quiet, he nearly misses it. Whispered low enough the slight ruckus of the nearest street spilling in from the open window almost covers it.

He leans closer, trying to get a clear look at their downcast face, "What for?"

They pull their hands away, the motions as they form words careful, Not being here

Feros tilts his head at that, "What?"

They repeat the words, forcefully, Not being here

"Where, firefly?"

And there's anger and grief at the choked voice they let out, "When the Darkness came. I let you go."

And it feels like the air was knocked out of him.

He reaches awkwardly to their hands, but they pull back, going through more words, I should have stayed, I should have helped but I just abandoned you, like you didn't matter or I didn't care but that's not true I worry and I care and I love you more than this life will let me and I can't forgive my mistakes, not when it hurt you and hurt Mia and-

And his chest feels constricted, the air cut off, like a fist was shoved through his heart and he can no longer breathe. She speaks like she condemned him, when it was his choice to take the dive.

His hands shake as he slips them over their cheeks, and their hands still.

It had been like dreaming. Letting the cool dark wash over him.

It had him confront so many of his failings. Pahanin, Mare Imbrium, the Gap, letting down Ana, Tevis, Andal, Cayde-

Eris, at least, he knew lived and scorned the fatalism he'd plunged himself in, as he'd gone on to tear down the Crimson Keep and burn clean the Moon's depths.

But he would have never lived through life as it has become now, with Darkness curling fingers in Guardians if he hadn't let the ghosts of his regrets haunt him. If he hadn't let himself go through the Dark like crossing a river.

He knows, Shin would have planted a blazing bullet between his eyes ages ago, if the man had the balls to show his face again, after all the seeds he planted that the Darkness now sows.

But it had been his choice and he would have fought anyone that would have tried to stop him, "I'm not sorry. I would do it again, Schala, again and again and you can't say you let me go. You can't go down that way, please."

And she looks at him like she would break down from the weight of his words alone.

He crushes them to his chest, still missing a breath he can't catch and wanting for the life of him to just take this pain away from them.

"You didn't abandon me, you didn't, I swear to you and the Light and the Dark, you didn't."

They shake against him, small fist weakly grasping at his shirt and he just holds tighter. 

She hiccups and pushes back until she can move her hands between them he looks helplessly as the torrent continues unabated. Hands moving jerkily and sloppy as their shoulders tremble, And I always let you go, every time I let you slip away and you don't always come back, you don't, and it's my fault for not holding on for not saying anything 

"And someone will always say, you did wrong. That it's not how fireteams work and it's not how partners work but that's not true."

And he wills her into understanding, "You have to push sometimes, you have to let others fall, let them fail and yes, it's not your fault, but they need it, to try."

His fingers tighten on their shoulders, "You can't save me every time."

And then they start crying in earnest, crumbling in his arms like a house of cards.

There's no tears that exos truly shed. But the laboured breathing, the choked keening, all the motions and exertions hit the body just as hard. Even down to the lightheadedness from lack of oxygen. 

Feros shushes them, rubbing his hand down their back, and up again. Rocks them gently. He knows that feeling. Tearing you apart from the inside like an infestation. And you have to cut it out.

"Shh, I'm here, I'm always here somehow aren't I? Too stubborn to stay away. Shhh, it's okay. I love, you know that? You always try so hard, I love that about you. Shhh."

It takes time for their sobs to die down. For the trembling to cease. And Feros whispers softly and rubs down their back until they both petter into silence again.

His fingers trail up to her tense neck, pushing carefully into the synthcord muscle and smoothing it out.

He stills when they curl up against him instead of just just collapsing, fitting their head to the crook of his neck. And he holds them, until the sun starts dipping from its zenith and the breeze coming in from the open windows changes direction.

Until his back hurts and his shoulders ache.

He leans to whisper softly in their earwing, "I'll move us to the bed ok?" and waits to feel the nod against his neck to hook his arms under her.

Sheis small, he always forgets.

Small and slight and doesn't hesitate to headbutt people to death in the Crucible, the same way she doesn't hesitate to look down a god and grind them beneath her boot.

Larger than life. More than a single life, especially when she looks at you and sees all you ever were and could be, good and bad. All the times he succumbed to the Dark instead to walking out like he took a dip in the ocean, when entire planets didn't survive it.

And she barely takes up room on the bed as he tucks the covers around them both.

"I'm sorry," he whispers into the sheets. "I forgive you," he whispers against their knuckles as he presses his mouth to them. "Thank you," he whispers when they finally manage to look him in the eye.

[akuzeisms]

Nine nifty things your muse can do

Katrina's biotics are more advanced than the average human, partly attributed to her training under an asari prior to joining the Alliance. Her specialty is biotic barriers and other defensive biotics, as well as ranged-projectile spatial distortion fields.

Katrina can draw. Her specialty is drawing graphite landscapes. She has a perfect memory for recalling landscapes of places she visits, which she uses to draw most of her pictures.

[ME2 & onward] Because of an increased resistance to toxins and poisons coupled with her biotic metabolism, she can drink most alcoholic beverages straight. If she wants to get drunk, she's forced to drink alcohols such as absinthe, Everclear, or krogan ryncol straight to get a buzz. Therefore, she'll almost always win any drinking contest.

[ME2 & onward] Katrina's physically stronger and more resilient than the average human. This is because most of her joints are enhanced with cybernetics, making her stronger and more durable. What would break the average person's bones takes more force for hers due to cybernetic reinforcement. This also makes her physically capable of lifting things that the average human (of her size) wouldn't be capable of.

She's an excellent cook (when she finds the motivation), though she hasn't cooked since she was on Mindoir. Her specialties are pasta sauces, chili, and soup.

Most people can't match her appetite. The only people with a hope of matching it are fellow biotics (as, like her, they have increased metabolic rates). It's entertaining when the average person doesn't know she's a biotic and invites her to dinner... and she eats as much (or more) as they do. (This is why she usually offers to pay.)

Despite her social introversion, she is an excellent public speaker. When prompted, she can and will speak from the heart, and when she does, she speaks with honesty and conviction. Her charisma is unmatched, even by high-ranking politicians. She would make a decent politician, not that she'd ever take the job.

She is capable of understanding Prothean spoken language and can interact with Prothean objects as if she were one. Between her exposure to the beacon on Eden Prime, coupled with the Prothean Cipher from the Thorian on Feros, she can visualize and understand Prothean technology on a level no other organic (other than another Prothean) could hope to achieve.

She can make even an amateur look like an excellent dancer. She's that bad. She has zero sense of rhythm and practically has two left feet.

tagged by: @pessimistics

tagging: feel free to steal!

[creators-novel]

The party traverses through the gales of inky storm clouds and fissured Spaces. Figuring that since they first encountered Vyz on their way to find Zeus, they headed in the direction of Feros’ workshop as best as they could remember. As if they didn’t find it on a whim in the first place, it was hard to tell where anything was anymore. Everything was all out of order and misplaced. Vyz must have been trying to throw them off the trail. In a vast Multiverse, it’s already easy enough to get lost. This was ridiculous!  

The beach where Straus and Red had first met seemed to have been picked up and carried some miles away from where it once stood. And forget about the village surrounding it; everyone could only make out a few buildings that were still in one piece among the wreckage.

They passed by the area where Koto first ended up after being cast away from her family. Straus was probably the only one to notice, but didn’t want to mention it. It’s unknown if Koto, at the time, recognized the splintered mess.

Somehow, they even ended up in Gaia’s Space. If this place wasn’t already unnerving to the tiring travelers, this took the cake. He likely knew that this place belonged to a daughter of Jupiter, so he took special care in making sure it was near obliterated.

But even that doesn’t compare to what he did to Jupiter’s old residence. The entire area reeked of the void, not a speckle of orange hues remained. Infectious tones of purple and fuchsia lined the walls and ground; and the party had to take special care here to not fall into the many chasms that formed, while still fighting off the invading Stygians.

How long did they wander for? Days, weeks? Certainly not months, right? They didn’t have time! Fighting all these Stygians and creatures of the Void, losing the path, and finding it again, over and over and over…! It was only a matter of time before Vyz controlled everything, they had to hurry! They had to keep going, they had to trudge forward, if they don’t then the whole Multiverse would be-

…

They found it.

“So, that’s what’s left of Feros’ place? ...huh…”, says Straus, observing the corpse of Feros’ lair.

Exisite uneasily looks around, “DarkClaw explained this story of this place not too long ago. I didn’t think it was real…not until now, anyway.”

“Welcome to my world, I guess.”, sighs Straus.

“Disrepair” is an absolute understatement at this point, it’s a stretch to even call it a residence anymore. Regardless of Vyz’s takeover, the damage he did to this once-looming building seemed to be fueled by something more than just helping Koto deal with Feros. And speaking of Koto, being back here hurts her the most. Their attention is not on the rubble, but on what surrounds it; the last remnants of her youth are now cold, dark, and still.

Uriel keeps close to Koto and holds her hand, “Koto, is this…?”

“…”

“Woah…”

“What?”, asks Luna.

“This is-“, Uriel starts, “Er- this was, Koto’s Homeworld.”

Luna gulps, “Oh…”

“Don’t worry, guys.” Koto says, returning from her daydream-like state, “When all of this is over, I’ll make sure to show you the sky I grew up with.”

Straus walks up next to her, “And I’ll help you bring that sky back.”

“Mm-hm.”, she smiles.

Amadi closes his eyes and nods with approval, “Admirable.”

Straus points ahead, “Let’s keep moving. Lord knows this place could be swarmed with those monsters too.”

“Right!”, cheers Koto.

            And so, the group continues to traverse through the dusky, sludge-like abyss. From here, things to be simpler. Now that they’re getting close to the presumed source of this whole mess, more perceptive members of the party began to notice a pattern in the way the grounds splinter up and out… Aha! It’s a ripple effect! Well, easy enough then, all they need to do is keep following the path of destruction and they’ll find Vyz in no time at-

“Wait-!”, Straus puts his arms out and halts everyone.

Oh, what now?

��What’s wrong?”, asks Nova.

Straus takes a shaky step back, “…Solid ground literally ends where I stand.” The others carefully peek around him. Sure enough, they look down over the side of a sheer cliff, and it is a long…long way down. Azura perks up and points ahead, “Look down there. We could use those floating rocks!” Nathaniel grumbles, annoyed, “This feels like one of those video games. Is he trying to play with us?”

“It sort of looks fun.”, says Melanie, supposedly unbothered.

“Says you!”, Luna squeaks, “Most of you can fly, or are at least confident in your jumping skills…”

“I can carry you if you want!”, Uriel happily volunteers.

“Works for me…”

“Well”, Koto ponders, “If anyone else is afraid, they can be carried by someone else, right?”

Straus thinks out loud while staring over the edge, “I mean… I guess I inherited flight from my mom? But she has to use her wings for that…”

“So, why don’t you use yours?”, Amadi wonders.

Straus turns to face him, unamused and a bit flustered, “Must we really discuss this NOW??”

“Ehem.”, Exisite grabs the others’ attention, then raises himself into the air using his powers, “Anyone up for lifts?”

“Woah…!”

Koto claps, “Perfect!”

“Hmph. I got this!”, Nathaniel bravely announces before jumping off the cliffside and landing on one of the many platforms. After getting his balance, he starts to confidently jump from one to the other. “Wait for me!”, Kali excitedly calls, hastily going after her brother. “GUYS! Don’t go too far ahead!”, Koto shouts. “Yeah, yeah! Sorry!”, Kali’s teasing voice carriers through the gorge on a barely audible echo.

            One by one, the rest of the incarnates and Red set off across the rocky bridge (or lack thereof). This leaves Straus and Koto to be carried by Exisite. The two, not being used to this kind of weightlessness, end up turning themselves around a couple of times, but end up getting the hang of stabilizing themselves. “You’ve got quite the finesse with your powers, Exisite.”, Straus says with a happy grin. “I learned from the best.”, he says in return. “Yeah!”, Ex cheers.

And the journey continues onwards. But as the party falls silent to focus on traversing the unsteady path, eventually, a thought pops into Koto’s head.

“Hm…there’s something that’s bugging me.”

“Wha?”, asks Uriel.

“Castor and Straus are practically the same. If I remember correctly, they have basically the same DNA…so, like- are they brothers? Or is Castor Straus’ actual, biological son in a sense?”

Red skitters onto a rock and trips a bit upon hearing that. Then, after a moment, she blushes and flashes a cat-like smirk at the duo.

“…Reeed…”, Straus also blushes, but out of embarrassment.

Her smile becomes wider.

“Red, no!”

“He’s our baby boyyy!”

“NO-!”

Exisite facepalms, “Oh boi…”

            Farther and farther our heroes go, deeper and deeper into the depths of Vyz’s twisted realms. As they continue, the road ahead only seems to get more treacherous, with new obstacles beginning to appear.

“Tss-!”, Kali shivers, “It’s getting cold out here.”

“Really?”, asks Melanie, stepping from one stone to another, “It doesn’t feel so terrible to me…”

“Yeah- well, you wear a cape with a sweatsuit.”

“Kali, you have your jacket, right?”, Straus points out.

“Yeah but- Weugh-!!”, she nearly falls, but clings onto one of the rocks just in time, “I can’t exactly put it on right now!”

“Is it just me, or…”, Nova jumps, “Hup! Or are the rocks getting a lot smaller too?”

“It’s a bit concerning.”, says Azura as he wobbles between two of the small stones.

Red hops to the front of the group. “Hey, look! Let’s land over here everyone, there’s another path!”

“Oh, thank god this is over!”, Kali trembles.

[dragonflight203]

Mass Effect 1 replay, part 4 and conclusion of Noveria:

Benezia

-The dialogue with Benezia changes very little with Liara, which is disappointing. You’d think bringing her along would change more.

After saying her line Benezia just… ignores her and proceeds with the normal dialogue.

-Benezia says the rachni soldiers would be raised to hunt and slay Saren’s enemies. She doesn’t seem aware of the Reapers.

-What is even with Benezia during the initial combat? She strikes dramatic poses and then more commandos and geth enter the room. Somehow this depletes her power. How? Why?

-Just as with Shiala, Benezia credits her indoctrination to Sovereign but implies that Saren is controlling Sovereign. No inkling that Sovereign is alive.

-She does say that the geth did not build Sovereign! First time that is brought up.

-If you’ve done Feros, there’s an option to mention Shiala and that she told you about indoctrination. Nice touch.

-Benezia says she was aware of what the indoctrination was forcing her to do, but could not resist.

This is different from other cases, where it’s emphasized that indoctrination is often a gradual change the person is not aware of.

Could credit this to Benezia having locked part of herself away from the indoctrination – so it’s that small part of herself that watched on in horror.

-As others have mentioned, here a supernova merely relocated the Mu Relay. In ME2, an asteroid destroys the Alpha Relay.

Ah, plot holes, If you must make a series up as you go along, at least leave enough time to review each entry for consistency and perform rewrites if necessary.

-This entire scene establishes Benezia was subservient to Saren. She was just another servant to him.

Of course, in reality they were both servants of Sovereign, but of the two Saren called the shots.

Interesting dynamic. Presumably this is because Sovereign got his claws into Saren first, but I imagine that in-universe the expectation is that a matriarch is usually the dominant personality in such relationships.

-The fight with Benezia herself was absurdly easy. Bioware needed to do something to make it more impressive.

-As Benezia dies, if you go paragon you offer her medigel. She refuses – she’s still indoctrinated and can feel its grip on her. She chooses to die.

-If you go renegade, you say she keeps changing sides. Betrayed the Council, betrayed Saren. She says she guesses that’s how history will remember her.

Damn. She was indoctrinated, she didn’t choose to betray the Council. That was cold.

-Benezia’s actions here are important to laying the ground work for the ability to talk Saren into suicide in the finale, just like Fai Dan’s were on Feros.

Both struggle against the indoctrination, are able to resist just enough to perform one final action, and choose to die because they know they will not be able to keep resisting.

Once more: This is how you build to a satisfying conclusion. You have to sprinkle the seeds throughout the story and let them fruit. You can’t just throw out a bunch of elements in the last few minutes and expect it to form a cohesive narrative.

Rachni Queen

-And here we go again. Another mind controlled asari, being used to speak for an eldritch creature. Just like on Feros.

-The Rachni Queen even refers to her as a vessel, and says that she is weak to urging.

What the game tells me: The asari are the dominant race. They are wise and powerful, and often their actions are hard to understand because they take such a long view

What the game shows me: Asari are malleable, and if you put any near another creature with mind control powers they’ll fall under its sway quickly. They tend to follow the strongest personality in the room, and need others to save them from the situations they find themselves in.

The asari deserved better.

-When referring to the fact that a child locked in a closet till they come off age will not be sane, Liara picked the age 16.

Why 16? I thought Asari come of age around 50?

Probably just a case of having all characters say the same line or minor variants of it.

-The Rachni Queen uses plural throughout most of this conversation. Why?

Are they speaking for the Rachni race? Using plural because they’re royalty?

I get the impression they’re using we in the singular since, like Legion does.

They do use I once, when speaking of the rachni’s actions in the war. This rachni queen does not what happened in the war to cause the rachni’s actions.

-The Rachni Queen refers to their planet as “The Singing Planet”. Here, on Noveria, the sky is silent.

Hmm. Do all races from that planet “sing” the way the rachni do?

-There are parallels to the geth here. Both the Rachni Queen and Legion plead with Shepard for the future of their race. Shepard’s actions decide if their species lives or dies. If Shepard decides they die, the Rachni Queen\Legion reject Shepard’s choice and scramble to save their people anyway. They fail.

Well, it is an impactful story line. If future Mass Effect games choose to repeat it, however, I’d like to see a variant where the doomed species survives and the protagonist now has to deal with a species that hates them.

-The neutral choice is to let the Rachni Queen live

-Aaand the asari commando the Rachni Queen used to speak is just abandoned to die. Guys, we just established she’s not quite dead – can you at least check her pulse?

Noveria Wrap Up

-I only learned recently that the Hot Labs are optional. If you find Benezia first, you can go straight back to the Normandy.

Bit amusing… Sure, I could have killed all those Rachni soldiers with the neutron purge but I was tired so I called it day.

-You can’t go back to the civilian area. I’ve always wondered – do the guards kill all the civilians anyway?

I’d like to think they live, but there’s no proof one way or the other. Just an email from Han Olar, and he lives even if the guards do kill the civilians.

-Disappointingly, if you do the Hot Labs after Benezia there are minimal changes to the dialogue. This comes off as silly, as Shepard acts surprised about knowledge they already have.

-Hmm. In ME3, we learn that the Protheans bred the rachni. That may explain some of their traits, like how queens lay eggs in hours and can have a colony within days. Those would be useful traits in a weapon.

Normandy

-Once again, Ashley is nasty to Liara for no reason. Paraphrased:

Shepard: We need to learn more about Saren’s goals before going through the Mu Relay.

Liara: The commander is right. We cannot rush off blind. We need to learn more about Saren.

Ashley: Who put you in charge? Did the commander resign when I wasn’t looking?

Just, why? Liara was agreeing with me, not overruling me. There’s no reason for Ashley’s hostility.

-And if you go renegade, Shepard says they won’t be a puppet for the asari… Again, Liara was agreeing with Shepard. Where is this coming from?

-In the conversation with the Council, If Shepard goes neutral they say they only care about stopping Saren, not the rachni.

The Salaraian Councilor says the mission must come first, but that actions can have far reaching consequences.

This feels like Shepard living down to their expectations – of course humanity would so short sighted as to not realize that releasing the rachni could result in another war, and if so humanity will be endangered too. Essentially, showing that humans are too short sighted to trust with spectre powers.

-If you go paragon, at least you stand by the fact that you believe this rachni queen won’t start another war. That’s better than ignoring its possibility.

Squad

-Huh. There’s no way to end the Kaidan romance at this point. You’re locked in.

-Kaidan doesn’t know what Benezi was to Saren either. Second in command? Advisor?

-In all dialogue with Liara, she blames Sovereign for Benezia’s change, even though at this point the belief is that Saren is controlling Sovereign. Interesting.

-If you suggest she’d want revenge, she rejects that – there are already enough reasons to stop Saren.

She’s definitely the most paragon aligned character in the game.

-If you select the Investigate > Benezia dialogue, it’s updated to account for what we’ve learned about Benezia’s indoctrination. Nice touch.