#this is how i deal with my religious trauma | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

always-andromeda · 1 year

Text

So my mom is deconstructing some of her beliefs and I love when she sends me tiktoks breaking down and debunking terrible Christian beliefs with her mind absolutely blown.

Like she sent me one debunking the whole “animals have no souls, therefore your pets are going to hell when they die” thing and was like, “Wow! And I was taught that when I was little!” And like…yeah bro, I know!! Y’all taught me that too!! 😀👍🏻

#medarants✨#like i love my mother immensely #but i think she sometimes forgets how exactly i was raised #like sorry i remember being given childrens books about this stuff #and having the biggest breakdowns whenever a pet would pass away #because like bro what did my dog do to get automatically sent straight to hell #sure he may have bit me when i was little but that shit was my fault #god didn’t have to permadeath him like that 😳#all goofs and gaffs lmao it’s cool #this is how i deal with my religious trauma #tw religious trauma

5 notes · View notes

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 2 years

Text

This election day, I'm thinking of my Nana.

I'm thinking of how as a young woman, she fled political violence in her native Colombia to build a new home in a more stable country. I'm thinking about how she lived a long life, but not long enough to see her home country elect its first ever progressive president (just a few months ago!).

Coincidentally, I was living in Colombia at that time (in the very city she grew up in), and I was able to witness what felt like a miracle. A very conservative country, suffering from the violent inheritance of colonization and catholic invasion and the war on drugs, against a backdrop of the dangerous global rise of the far right--this unlikely country managed to elect one of the most progressive heads of state in the world, in 2022. That's a pretty big deal.

And I'm thinking about this, this election day, because that election was won by a very thin margin. I'm thinking about how it almost didn't happen. I'm thinking about how it was only possible thanks to the highest voter turnout in 20 year. And I am thinking about the countless number of voters who chose to vote for the first time. I am thinking of the poorest and most disenfranchised citizens who showed up at the polls. I am thinking of the indigenous women who rode 12 hours on public buses to vote at the 'nearest' polling stations. I am thinking of all the money and corruption that went into preventing minority citizens from voting, and I'm thinking about how they showed up in the millions and voted anyway.

I am thinking that I would like to see a miracle like that in my own home country.

So if you're on the fence about waiting in line today to cast your vote, I hope that you will think--about the country you want to live in, the future you hope will unfold, and about all of the people it takes to make a miracle.

Because history may deem us nameless and faceless, but when we show up en masse, we are the ones who make history happen.

And yes, maybe also spare a thought for my Nana. Who was in fact a very angry and judgemental woman who supported the republican party for 50+ years, and who would be turning in her grave right now (if the family hadn't had her cremated). Think about the mean angry ghost of my Colombian grandmother, who very much wants you to not show up at the polls to support abortion and other sinful progressive values. Think about her. Do it for her. Do it for Nana.

#Do it! for her #not a shitpost #serious post #politics #ask to tag #I love you Nana but i disagree SO vehemently with almost all of your personal political and religious values #also you should have treated my mom SO MUCH BETTER when she was a kid. all of your kids really #i see you very much as a victim of religious trauma & childhood poverty #followed by the cultural isolation of being a first generation immigrant with no local hispanic community to provide support #plus the failure of late 20th century mental health care almost certainly compounded by medical sexism #recognize sympathize and am indignant on your behalf for all of those reasons and more #but that truth can also coexist alongside the truth that #hot DAMN Nana you and Papa very much failed to provide your children with an emotionally safe and stable environment in which to grow #and me and my sibs are still dealing with the generational trauma #and who knows how many of my cousins. I HAVE TWENTY-ONE COUSINS AND I DON'T TALK TO ANY OF THEM #that is too many cousins to not be in contact with any of them #(and fyi that's on *one* side of the family. on the other side are a dozen half-aunts-and-cousins I've never met #because Other Grandpa was a Certified Piece of Shit)#Anyway. ANYWAY...#apparently i really needed to overshare today. know what? no judgement. judgement free zone #i have no judgement thoughts or opinions i am finally FREE #........gosh that sounds so relaxing #ANYway #yeah. break the cycle of abuse or your descendants will grow up and critique your parenting choices on third-tier social media platforms #when people say 'they will always be remembered' at a funeral--that is a THREAT #what they actually mean is 'OH HONEYBUN YOU DONE FUCKED UP'#.........i want that in my eulogy actually

2K notes · View notes

thefallenangelsgang · 2 months

Text

15 Lines Challenge

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture their character/personality/vibe. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you’re free to include those as well. @fablewritesnonsense strikes again! As always, no pressure, I just really admire these lovely folk's work: @helena-bug @just-another-wasteland-merc @roystory4 @druidgroves @heylittleriotact

(I'm going to be completely honest, I'm working of off 5 incomplete scenes if I just do BG3, so I'm also going to throw in some By Any Other Name quotes. It's technically the same character from a different story. The backstories vary a little but I'm confident the character is still there. By Any Other Name quotes are marked with an asterisk * at the end)

Wynleth Reiden

“Lathander isn’t going to strike me down if I don’t stop and kneel."

“Are you stupid?”

“Of course I’m not going to kill you!”

“And I’m still not sure you are actually what I think you are or just some freak with filed teeth and a biting kink!”

“My faith is entirely a different matter.”

“I am going to drown myself in the Chionthar.”

“It is precisely because you are a depraved beast that you get the juiciest gossip.”

“Yes, good sex!”

“I was married, he died… fifty-four years ago come Mirtul?”

“I- I think I need to be alone for a bit. I need to pray. I need to do something or I’m going to fall apart.”

“Is that why I took up the role of a garden water feature when I tried to dominate it?"

“Becoming a Paladin, beginning a life in politics, was how I could take control back. I never had a connection to Lathander like you did. I didn’t find him when I lost. He was never there for me in my darkest moments. He was forced upon me because it was expected . He inundates every single one of the worst moments in my life. Because of them .” *

"Here, every second of every day is focused on the words and what they mean and it's been like that for centuries. We are like an ouroboros. The dogma is causing us to consume ourselves.” *

"You are a soldier with faith, I am a priest sent to war. They are entirely different things.” *

"I have Saints, Martyrs, Prophets, all manner of Holy Persons in my family line. I was supposed to follow in their footsteps. But I didn’t. Not totally.” *

If you would like to see more of my writing (or some of the incomplete scenes these are pulled from) check out my tag on my account #Jericho Writes

If you are a Legends of Avantris and Edge of Midnight fan, By Any Other Name is a published oneshot about the Chapter 17 memory ritual you can find on my Ao3!

#number 4 has got to be one of my favorite lines I've ever written #It's also not subtle who she is talking to lmao #At least half of the BG3 lines are pulled from conversations with Astarion lmao #hes the only one I'm 100% confident I have the character voice down pat for #Karlach is in second place #I really need to improve on everyone else #I could probably bullshit my way through The Emperor #the additions I made to his canon lines fit pretty nicely #But I have a feeling as that scene goes on I'm gonna get lost #Anyways peep the line from the sex talk (number 8)#Astarion accuses her of never having good sex which... fair #But the girl was married for 50 years in a long distance relationship #to a sailor of all people #She might not be overly interested in sex but your lying to yourself if you think that shit wasn't wild #Almost all of the By Any Other Name lines are Wynleth arguing with Marius cause that was the conceit of the whole Oneshot for me #Them finally fighting out their differences about faith #MMMMMM Wynleth is how I deal with my religious trauma if you can't tell #tag game #legends of avantris #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate iii #loa #edge of midnight #eom #Jericho Writes

3 notes · View notes

solvicrafts · 8 months

Text

What gets me about certain people being so fucking pissy about Bob not writing much about Eilistraee (until the last fucking trilogy where EIlistraeans featured heavily) is that

a) Bob basically built drow culture up from almost nothing, and Eilistraee came after he started writing Drizzt

b) no you guys really don't understand. I own the first 4 modules drow appeared in. There's... not much there. And it hasn't aged well.

c) and the Big One: he has a specific vision for his specific characters when it comes to the narrative he wants to explore, from sexual abuse to religious trauma, both of which are fucking complicated and for most people just switching deities isn't enough to fix that.

I have religious trauma that I still struggle with to this day and probably will for the rest of my life to some extent, and it's fundamentally different in nature from what most people would probably expect, and the thing is even though I am happily polytheistic and very enthusiastically into it, I still struggle a lot with certain things because every time I get into my religious practice I have to actively force myself into (or out of) certain things because my whole relationship to religion and spirituality is complicated and messy.

It would be easy and frankly incredibly superficial for Bob to decide to just have them all convert to half-assed Neowiccan ~woo~ drow Jesus Eilistraee to *~*save their souls*~* and call it a day

BUT HE DIDN'T DO THAT

Partly because she wasn't his creation and other authors were writing her at the time so he really couldn't, and partly because it's a shitty message to send.

Sometimes people benefit from converting to a new religion or following a new deity. Sometimes people don't.

I benefited from gradually converting to my religion, but it's come with a whole different set of complications and hasn't been a smooth journey for me.

Just going from extensive religious trauma to switching deities does not fix your problems, and for a lot of people it realistically can make them much worse.

but also

you don't have to be saved by a deity in order to have value as a person

#I fucking WAS saved by a deity and while I'm grateful it wasn't an easy ride #and in fact the way certain people in my family treated me was very emotionally abusive #to this fucking day on a journey that's taken me 19 years I STILL have issues with this whole thing #there are some people I may never speak to again because of how they treated me over this #for a Lolthite drow I could easily see them struggling with switching to a new deity especially one like Eilistraee or Vhaeraun #who are NOT seen very positively at all in the society they were raised in #and for a lot of people the fear of being found out and punished is more than enough to prevent them from seeking out a new deity #to say nothing of the already existing religious trauma that would also just as likely make someone hesitate to embrace a new religion #and speaking AS a religious person I do not at all agree with sending the message that traumatize people need to be saved by a god #or by a religious fanatic #my case is extremely unique and while it more or less worked out in the end it was frankly hellish at its worst points #and it cost me a great deal in terms of my relationships with my family and my ability to trust other people #because the way society frames belief in the Greek gods as some distant thing in time like #'haha these people were so STUPID. they believed in gods that turn into swans and stuff'#has absolutely led to a situation where paganism is only cool and okay if it's the woo crystals and sage Neowiccan aesthetic #but actually being a historically based polytheist is conflated with mental illness #and it's damn near impossible to challenge when most modern people have NO understanding of polytheism and take everything literally #as someone who has had to FIGHT just to continue EXISTING as a polytheist I am still FIRMLY against the idea that people NEED religion #in order to have value as people or to heal #yes for SOME people it works. for others it doesn't. AND THAT'S OKAY

10 notes · View notes

separatismor · 1 month

Text

.

#idg the ppl who make fun of ppl who label bullying as a trauma #my mum was bashed every day at school as a kid #then had to go home to deal with religious/cult brainwashing #i was bullied during 'no tolerance' beginnings so they just learned to jab at my appearance and ostracize me #im still deeply affected to the point where i cant form relationships without feeling on some subconscious level #that im actually being manipulated #and then i do end up getting manipulated #(there was other bullying going on but that was 95% of what they found they could get away with)#so basically im rly struggling with still feeling like a joke and like im someone whose only worth is to be fucked with in every conceivable #way as i hold no value in being seen as beautiful or lovable or likable or smart or funny or a complete person #because basically 90% of the people whove been in my life have treated me with active hostility #the other ten percent include people who were paid to not be hostile #one person out of all ive gone on more than one date with #and three friends i have now #only one of whom is willing to emotionally support me when im telling them IM STRUGGLING #anyway bullying solidified that i was a worthless pos to everyone on the planet and i dont know what kind of charmed #life these ppl have lived to not have bullying be the piss flavoured icing on the shit flavoured cake that was their childhood #okay the bullying got so bad for me that i ended up going thru psych abuse further familial abuse #a really shitty 'friendship' i had which futuer entrenched how worthless i was #which made me anthropophobic which was an horrific nightmare #i barely left the house for almost 7 years!!!!#THIS is why pplthink theyre autistic #no actually im just deeply confused as to why you would ever tell me the truth about anything #as i KNOW that im worthless and should die #the shits who laugh at bullying being considered a trauma to some come off as tho yhey were a bully...

2 notes · View notes

rosicheeks · 2 months

Note

Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..

I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.

I was texting my sister today about it and she said

“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”

I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences

#I relate to all of this so much #and it’s so sad how many people truly have religious trauma #I still find myself lucky and privileged cause I know there are stories MUCH worse than mine #it’s really hard cause my parents still think I’m a Christian #honestly at this point I have no clue what i am #even if I end up still being a Christian that doesn’t help or heal all of the years of church trauma #but the hard part is still acting the part for my parents #growing up I always tried to fit into the good Christian girl mold #cause I know that’s what my parents wanted and I didn’t want to disappoint them #but once I started smoking weed and they found out? it went all downhill from there #their perfect angel fell from heaven #and I feel like ever since I haven’t been really their daughter…. I’ve just been living on the outside looking in to everything #it hurts looking back at all the years I spent brainwashed into believing that was the ONLY faith #it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the fact that I went to a pro life rally #the thing I was talking to my sister about was how mental health was never talked about in the church #when I started dealing with it and went to my parents or the pastors or any adult really and told them what I was dealing with #wanna know what the first thing they would ALWAYS say? well have you prayed about it? the way they treated mental illness was that it was #YOUR fault cause God is punishing you for something…. that you need to pray or go to church so then God will eventually take it away #and the thing is I don’t necessarily blame my parents (which kinda sucks cause I want to blame someone)#but honestly it’s just the environment they grew up in too… like I’m 99% sure my dad has dealt with depression his entire life #but won’t get diagnosed or anything cause they always believe faith has something to do with it #which makes me incredibly sad cause I just think about how much my dad has suffered and how he didn’t need to #^^ I was typing this out when I was late to my family gathering hahaha but then I think my sister called or something so I had to stop #sorry this post is all over the place - I swear I could write a book about religious trauma #yesterday went ok surprisingly but today? TODAY is going to be so much worse #sure I’ll make a post about it later but I guessssss I should go to bed now? it’s 2am and I have to get up at 5:45 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#and I have a fuuuuull day of fun Christian festivities while I’m dealing with all of this bottled up and unresolved crap from my past #please don’t get me wrong I love my parents and like I said I don’t blame them - they did their best #it just really sucks wondering what my life would have been like if I didn’t grow up in the church or in a super religious family #I wonder if when I told my parents I was depressed if they would have instantly brought me in to get help

3 notes · View notes

trans-cuchulainn · 1 year

Text

i need therapy about one really specific trauma but it would only work if the counsellor was a member of the community it's about because otherwise they're just not gonna get it but unfortunately due to the trauma i cannot bring myself to talk to anybody from said community, do you see the problem

#need a quaker therapist to deal with my quaker trauma without having to go to a quaker meeting about it #it's community bullshit not religious bullshit which is an important distinction #this is not religious trauma. BUT the reason it sucks is partly bc that community was helping me heal from religious trauma #so that's like. a whole separate issue #anyway i have been to meeting only twice since it happened and it sucked #and now it's been like 6 months and idk how to go back #i need to go back soon or i am not sure i will ever do it #but. can't. hnngh.#how to get fucked up in your personal professional AND religious lives:#move in to your place of worship as a job and then get kicked out thereby losing your home job and faith community in one go #lmfao.#🫠#personal

10 notes · View notes

wetchickenbreast · 9 months

Text

awesome. good for you. glad you didn’t have to grow up in a horrific belief system that completely corrupts the way you experience the world forever. sooo happy for you. this post is not for or about you

#‘idk what’s worse tbh’ shut the fuck up forever you have no idea what it’s like #i get irrationally annoyed when ppl without religious trauma try to make my religious trauma posts about them #if you weren’t traumatized by a religious organization then shut up forever when i’m talking about how i was #it’s like not that big of a deal but god i just hate the sentence ‘i wasn’t raised religious but…’#hater girl tag

4 notes · View notes

saltyfilmmajor · 2 years

Text

it feels particularly off when someone who is aware of your religious trauma, but does not happen to share the cultural context for it, to make jokes about it

#this is about my well meaning ex #but I also have this experience with MANY people #there's like 2 people who will understand the very specific emotions i have regarding my upbringing #(that isn't to say my friends as a whole aren't aware and don't sympathize with me)#But it's like how people speak about trying to get a therapist from their culture #because there is culture specific truama #Anyway my ex sent me a meme and they prefaced it with: you'll either love it or hate it #And it just rubbed me the wrong way #like if you had the thought something might be offensive or upsetting to me ....why would you send it....#I only ever mentioned having some sort of religious truama that i never wanted to get into because it's A Lot and you need to be primed #and they initially mistook it as me being against all religious expression #and still kinda don't understand what i mean now and i'm fine not gettign into it because they're my ex #and I have enough dealing with their emotions from a distance #And it feels unfair to correct this behavior because I'm not their mom and it's not something i'd do with my friends normally #TLDR it feels weird when people try to be In on the joke of your specific trauma but really aren't in on it at all

7 notes · View notes

reunionandthen · 1 year

Text

last rb