#this is how many worms would fill up a you-sized container

[worm-on-a-blog]

How many worms on strings must it take to fill a trench coat so they are able to buy a movie ticket?

spectacular question.

first we need to know the average volume of a standard worm. keeping in mind that a worm is generally less than a gram in weight, that volume could be really small if you sincerely compressed it—so for these measurements, we are assuming that none of our worms in the trench coat are compressed. we're not packing them in there like straw, they're all standing on each other's heads to puppet the trench coat.

assuming this, then, i divided up a single worm into eight segments that could each be approximated to be about the shape of a uniform cylinder, calculated the volume of each of those cylinders, and then added the total volume up. in all, our uncompressed worm came out to about 38.27 cm^3. diagram below:

(a string was used to take the circumference at the midpoint of each segment, and these were then used to calculate the diameter of each segment for the volume calculation.)

okay. we're going to say that the worms are occupying your average adult male-fit trench coat. they would be looking to fill about 80kg worth of space there, 80,000 cm^3. (1 kg = 1,000 cm^3 at human body density). but we need to subtract the legs, because they are most certainly going to have the trench coat drag on the ground. so:

one total leg would come out to about 13.488 kg of your body. double that, and we are subtracting 26.976 kg from our estimated weight. they also would not fill out the hands, so we're taking off a tiny bit more in the form of 1.04 kg. we're leaving the head in the calculation, because i presume they will be filling out an inconspicuous hat too.

put together, this gives us a volume of about 51,984 cm^3, or a final answer of 1,358.35 worms to fill a trench coat!

this also means that you're able to calculate how many worms you are total so long as you know how many kg you are. take your weight in kg, convert it to cm^3 by multiplying it by 1,000, and then divide that number by 38.27. all together, i am approximately 1,306.50 worms large.

[bones4thecats]

I see you have your requests open! :D

May I please request Loki, Shiva, Thor and Beelzebub from SNV with a S/O who's like Hastur/The King In Yellow from Lovecraftian mythos?

(They walk around in a tattered yellow cloak and a crown, maybe have more than 2 eyes?) Humans are terrified of them and are even scared to mention their name. How would they react to seeing their S/o in their cosmic horror/non-humanoid for for the first time?

(Sorry if it's a little long... Have a great day! 🥰)

A/N: This has to be one of my favorite requests ever! I love H.P. Lovecraft and other mythical writers, and Hastur has to be one of my favorite creations in these stories! Now, before I start rambling again, enjoy!!

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Known as the God of Shepherds, you were feared by many, so feared that the mention of your name scared others to their core. 

You were set in a battle against a human known as William Marshal, the Most Loyal Knight in History. 

Your yellow cloak hung to your form as the man pulled out his sword and began his attack while Humanity and the Gods’ roars echoed throughout the arena.

The Gods had put up a barrier protecting the people inside, knowing if you got too mad, the ring would get destroyed very quickly. 

William was getting on your nerves as he sliced off six of your tentacles.

Ragged breathing filled the ears of everyone in the arena as you grew in size, your frame becoming unrecognizable as you began to fight with all the being you contained.

Everyone was shocked, but your husband was the most shocked…

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🐍 Loki watched as you grew in size and his eyes widened, you had never gotten this mad while in battle

🐍 He yelled in anger as one of William’s sword’s hit your appendages, cheering as your threw him to the opposite side of the arena

🐍 The sound of colliding weapons echoed as the Valkyrie transformed into a sword and shield, protecting the former knight

🐍 But it was no match for your strength

“ You humans are pathetic, when you want something you get arrogant and expect more, yet when you don’t get it, you get mad and petty like nothing. “ “ You know nothing of Humanity… monster. “ “ Good riddance, worm. “

🐍 Loki was so proud as you slayed the human for his disrespect of his creators

🐍 Now he had to wait for his round and you to join him, or maybe he’d visit you? Who know~

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🪩 Shiva watched with his wives, son, and pantheon as you grew in size and became your true form

🪩 He smirked as William’s valkyrie stepped back and became a sword and shield

“ Idiot humans. They think they can defeat Y/N. “

🪩 You glared at the human as he fought you, trying to hit you with any chance he could take, honestly it was quite pathetic

🪩 Though even Shiva had to admit, the human was quite smart with his hits

🪩 But his brain was no match for your anger

🪩 You grabbed him with a rogue tentacle and threw him against the wall before chocking out his valkyrie and snapping his neck

🪩 Shiva laughed as Humanity cried, they really believed that human had a chance against you? The Hindu God of Shepherds? The one everyone feared so much as to not mumble their name?

🪩 After you were dragged to the infirmary, he visited with his wives and son

🪩 They checked your pale face and dark eyes and scolded you for letting your emotions get out of hand, in which Ganesha hugged you, asking how you were

🪩 Shiva just stood off to the side and waited for them all to leave, and when they did, he gave you the biggest hug and happiest smile you’d ever seen him give anyone

“ Good job, my dearest. “

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🌩️ You and him were not ones to anger, as it lead to major destruction

🌩️ And anyone could tell this was one of the rare moments of your anger taking over

🌩️ Thor stood up and watched as the human’s valkyrie protected him, giving the most bloodthirsty smirk as the duo talked about how they would destroy you

🌩️ How pathetically arrogant

🌩️ You mopped the floor with them with so little energy

“ Remind me to never prank them anytime soon. “

🌩️ Odin looked at Loki and back at Thor, he could tell his son was admiring his S/O’s battle with so much love and dedication

🌩️ Now everyone knew why you guys got married

🌩️ You had the same amount of bloodthirstiness inside, hidden behind a dead and cold appearing front

🌩️ Once the battle ended, Thor met you at the entrance, assisting you to the infirmary, and when you were all healed, he hugged you from behind while resting

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🪰 Beelzebub was getting bored of watching these battles, but seeing you walk onto the field made him perk up

🪰 He knew you were getting mad with the human’s attacks with the support of his valkyrie, but he didn’t know you were that mad

🪰 You stood tall and launched the biggest and most dangerous assault that you ever had before

🪰 Your husband watched with interest as you kept throwing and harming the human with bloodlust driving through your head

🪰 He was monitoring how plagued your mind was getting, and when he saw the human nearly dead, he messaged Zeus, telling him to wrap this up, saying you were about to the level of genocidal rage

🪰 Beelzebub watched you get dragged away while William shattered away, his smirk ever present as he looked over your sitting form

🪰 Your pale face still had some blood from the human, so he wiped it away and patted your head

“ My wilted rose, my heart fluttered as you fought. “

[autisticsupervillain]

It's Fictional Throwdown Friday!

This Week's Fighters...

Corvus vs The Warden!

Conditions:

No restrictions.

Scenario:

Corvus travels down into the Deep Dark, suspecting its mutations to be a new variation of the Vile Blood plague, and gets attacked by the Warden.

Analysis: Corvus

The beautiful, prosperous kingdom of Hermes was the largest and most powerful in all the land. So advanced was its knowledge of science and medicine that it was among the last of the lands to fall to the supernatural plague that had swept the world. Yet fall it still did. Humanity seemed to be on the verge of extinction, with this shining bastion of power simply representing its last candle.

Until the brilliant scientist Emerald, inventor of the art of alchemy, brought forth her greatest discovery. Vile Blood, as the blood of the infected was named, could be used to sythesize a cure, dubbed Pure Blood. The world had seemingly been saved and alchemy advanced as a science at a completely unprecedented rate in order to completely contain and eliminate the Vile Blood disease. But that proved to be the Great Mistake that would doom mankind forever.

When mixed with Pure Blood, Vile Blood would begin to adapt and mutate. Even completely incinerating corpses would no longer kill the pathogen within, and it would soon demonstrate the ability to completely overtake the mind. The soldiers of Hermes, still sentient even in their mutated state, would turn against the crown, butchering and infecting all they could find. Even infected blood, on its own, could come to life and pull itself back together into a humanoid form to keep spreading the plague. Put up against a newfound regenerative ability on that scale, Hermes quickly fell dowm to its last legs again.

Before she would completely give in to despair and abandon mankind, Emerald would make one final breakthrough. She noticed that no matter how much the Vile Blood mutated, it could not infect certain animals. Crows in particular seemed completely immune. In one last attempt to save mankind, Emerald would attempt to combine humans and animals together to create a subspecies that would be completely immune to the Vile Blood pandemic. She had exactly one success, a half-crow, half-human. The last hope of Hermes: Corvus.

As the strongest warrior in the land of Hermes, Corvus was tasked by the last survivors of the royal family to wipe out the Vile Blood plague. In his quest to discover a cure and defend the last vestiges of civilization, Corvus would end up slaughtering a good chunk of the kingdom he was made to save. A remarkable feat when considering that the infected still retain all the skills and sentience they had in life, to the point that many can be heard sobbing over their hellish situation. He's defeated the Fool's God, a giant stone statue filled to the brim with thousands of Vile Blood infested corpses, and even killed it in one hit, fought his way through entire cities of infected soldiers, and even bested the greatest warriors Hermes has to offer. When Varg, the greatest warrior Thymesia had ever seen, and Urg, the royal family's personal assassin and one of the last standing members of the royal family itself, attempted a coup, Corvus was able to fight and defeat them both. He even bested the Sound of the Abyss, a colossal infected worm whose burrowing underground shook the entirety of the Royal Library. As the Library is absolutely massive, easily the size of an entire city block by itself, that burrowing would be creating at least a Magnitude 4.5 earthquake to shake it. To generate that much distructive energy, you'd need up to 84 tons of TNT.

Source:

Corvus is fast enough to dodge arrows, is a master swordsman, can rip through people with his talon claws, and, with easily his most dangerous ability, can drain your life force with Plague Weapons. Designed to bypass the remarkable regenerative ability of the infected, Plague Weapons are glowing green mystical weapons that Corvus creates by copying his opponents weaponry. He can create hammers, swords, bows, javelins, and even shields. He can even copy parts of his foe's biology, imitating the writhing tendrils coming out of Mutated Odur's back and fighting with his own. This does, however, require that he get his hands on you with his claws to copy your weaponry.

Even so, you'll be hard pressed to put Corvus down before he can. He can survive getting stabbed straight through the chest and simply just get right back up. His regenerative ability is absurd and he's completely immune to the Vile Blood plague on top of that, to the point of wading through thigh high oceans of Vile Blood without getting infected. When an infected Vard stabbed him through the chest and completely shattered his spine, the worst Corvus got was amnesia out of it.

Ultimately, Corvus would prove to be Emerald's greatest creation, outright surpassing his creator in the realm of alchemy, creating a concoction that would destroy Vile Blood forever. Through the shattered land of Hermes would immediately descend into chaos and war as the survivors fought amongst themselves to rebuil civilization, Corvus has ensured the species will live to see another day. The people of Hermes felt something they hadn't in generations that day. Hope.

Analysis: The Warden

The vast, endless world of Minecraft has always felt... empty. Despite being randomly generated, it has always given the vibe of having been lived in. Abandoned. Forgotten. What ancient civilizations uses to live here before the villagers arrived? Who were the zombies before they turned? And who are we, the Player, really? Minecraft doesn't answer, it simply provides more questions. Perhaps the most alarming and nightmarish of which centers around the Deepest and Darkest part of Minecraft's world.

What are the Ancient Cities buried beneath the world? And what is the Warden that guards them?

This monsterous mob that stalks the Deep Dark is the most powerful monster that Steve, Dream, and all your other favorite Minecraft adventurers could ever hope to encounter. Described by the Devs themselves as "not a boss, but a natural disaster", the Player was not even intended to fight the Warden, let alone defeat it, with the souls of countless other adventurers wriggling inside of it immortalizing those who tried. It is strong enough to dig through netherite blocks effortlessly and can break straight through the Player's shield in a single blow.

This is despite the fact that the Player's shield is strong enough to tank attacks from the Wither, such as the massive explosion it creates upon birth, which is powerful enough to vaporize several basalt blocks at once. To generate a blast that powerful, you'd need at least 38 tons of TNT, enough to destroy an entire city block!

Source:

And if being able to rip straight through Steve's armor and shields wasn't deadly enough, the Warden can ignore them entirely of it so chooses. It's screaming is loud enough to generate sonic booms, the vibrations of which go through Steve's armor completely and its fast enough to simply run Steve down no matter how fast he flees. This is the same Steve who can keep up with Endermen in combat, who are fast emough to react to and dodge arrows at point blank range. Arrows which on average can move up to 100 meters per second. And Steve can't outrun this thing even with a swiftness potion.

The Player's best option is to simply never get caught by the beast in the first place. Which is easier said than done. While the Warden may be blind, so long as it's around, so are you, as it's Darkness status effect blinds everyone around it in a ten meter radius. And unlike the Warden, you don't have the superhuman hearing to sense the slightest vibrations, nor the smell to pick up on its prey.

A Player's only saving grace is that the Warden is a literally blind animal. As soon as it detects its prey, it charges them down in a rage to rip them to pieces, only strategizing by screaming from a distance or using its honed senses to hunt. It's not a fighter. It's barely even an animal. It's a raging natural disaster.

We may never know what happened to the ancient cities it guards. Perhaps the Warden is their equivalent to a golem, the last remnant of its ancient race. Or perhaps, the Warden is the thing that wiped them out.

Throwdown Theme:

Throwdown Breakdown:

The Warden is a very different beast to the kind that Corvus usually hunts.

While Corvus's extensive skill would be a handful for virtually any beast, the blindness effect of the Warden's presence would mitigate that. When combined with the Warden's loud, disorienting shrieks and definitive spped advantage and Corvus is going to get the tar kicked out of him. After all, Corvus might be able to dodge arrows, but the Warden can outrun people who can do the same.

However, Corvus's strength advantage would allow him to weather the hits. The Warden may be immensely stronger than the Wither, who can generate 38 tons of TNT, but Corvus regularly slays beasts in the 84 tons range, giving him a notable strength advantage that no one else in Minecraft has had over the Warden. This combines with Corvus's own impressive regeneration to allow him to wheather the storm of the Warden's relentless onslaughts and give him a chance to adapt before getting crushed.

There are plenty of outcomes where the Warden catches Corvus off guard enough to pummel him to death before he can recuperate. But seeing the brutal beatdowns Corvus has bounced back from in his own series, I see him recovering enough to land a hit with his trump card. Plague Weapons.

There are no weapons that can simply suck the life force from someone in Minecraft the way Corvus's plague weapons do. As such, The Warden would have no resistance against them and its beastial intellect would have no answer for the variety of forms these weapons can manifest as. If the Warden was capable of strategizing, it might be able to turn the tables back around. But that's not how it fights.

In a fight, The Warden keeps relentlessly attacking until you're dead or it is. It has never run away, never relented. And against a stronger, more skilled opponent that can harm it in a way no one else can, this relentlessness is it's downfall. The Warden would catch Corvus off guard at first, but uf it doesn't end the fight quickly, it wouldn't managed anything more than that.

This Throwdown's Winner is...

Corvus!

[yummyinmytwistedtummy]

Presentation jitters: An Idia Shroud stuffing story

This was a commission from a friend of mine, @trashytummiez, I'm sorry it took so long doll. I hope it's good! If anyone else wishes to commission me, they are always open!

Mr. Crewel snaps his whip once again and stops in the front of the classroom before turning gracefully on his heel to gaze upon his students.

“I hope all of you were paying attention to that description because I will not be repeating myself for lazy puppies.” His stern voice made several students sit up straighter in their chairs out of embarrassment.

“You will present these on Friday. This means you have 3 days to complete your projects and practice presenting them. Any puppy that isn’t ready on time will get an F.” A few students groaned and sank into their seats at the thought of such a close due date.

“Oh and one more thing, for those who have taken a liking to worming their way out of in class presentations,” he looked over at the floating magipad that seemed to sink a little upon being addressed. “You will be required to stand, in person, in front of this board, and speak directly to this class.”

A few students snickered at the audible gulp that came from the magipad due to the student behind the screen forgetting how high tech his headphones were.

Crewel turned back to his class and snapped the whip fiercely. “That is all. Class dismissed!” he called and all of the boys in the room slid their chairs back nearly in a perfect unison. Each eager to get back to their dorms and either start on their presentation or goof off foolishly with their friends.

The magipad rose above the turmoil of teenage boys crammed together in a small hallway. Swooping over the courtyard, the device swiftly made its way back to its owner in the dorm known as Ignihyde.

Deep in the dorm’s technologically advanced, yet still mysterious and creepy greek architecture, a room devoted to the dorm leader was occupied by quite possibly the most nervous person at school.

Idia Shroud.

The young mage was stuck, frozen in his seat, trembling slightly as his head filled with images of himself standing in front of an entire classroom, speaking aloud, suppressing the need to vomit from so many eyes trained on him.

Idia groaned and sank backwards into his gaming chair while his magipad slipped through the crack underneath the door and found its home on his desk.

“Why me…” he moaned and turned so he could pull his hood over his head. The most introverted student at school had only one wish and it was to be left alone by nearly everyone. Unfortunately the extroverts and sadists of the world seemed keen on making that impossible.

So much for “dreams do come true”.

Shroud sighed and sat up in his chair, glancing at the clock nervously, (like everything else he did), and saw that he still had a couple hours until you arrived. Quickly he shot you a text about the presentation so you were prepared that he might have to ignore you for a little while in order to finish and set to work on the project that filled him with so much dread.

You glance at your phone screen and smile. You have just a few more minutes to spare before you had to be at Idia’s.

Your boyfriend, Idia Shroud, was not what most people would look for in a partner. He was shy, anxious, overwhelmingly competitive, shut in otaku, who could barely look a girl in the eye without bursting into tears or flames.

But with hard work, a boatload of patience, and intensive exposure therapy, you had managed to get him relatively comfortable around you. The only thing left to work on was his confidence when it came to indulging your… interests.

You bit your lip and tried not to be so excited as you looked down at the several bags of food that you had compiled once you knew Idia was feeling a little anxious. You felt a little bit like this was taking advantage of him in the sense that you wanted this a bit more than you probably should. All your insecurities vanished as you reached his door and knocked gently before pushing your way inside.

The flame haired boy was seated at his desk, staring intently at his computer screen. A small pout had wormed its way onto his face and you giggled at the childish huff he made when something on the screen made him frustrated.

Instantly he looked up at you in surprise, likely not having noticed your entrance. He smiled shyly and tugged at one of his sleeves as you shut the door behind you and made your way over to his desk.

Setting the bags down on the bed, you leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. Idia turned bright red and laughed nervously as you watched him with a fond look.

“So I heard you’re having a hard time.” you spoke gently. He turned to you and frowned at the reminder of his impending doom.

Idia sighed and raised his hand to his mouth so he could reflexively chew on his hoodie sleeve. The mage had always found himself searching for relief from his anxiety in anything that had to do with his mouth.

Sometimes he bit his lips until they were raw, sometimes he chewed on the sleeves of his hoodie, sometimes he pursed and unpursed his lips repeatedly. But your personal favorite habit of his was when he stress ate.

Of all of the students in the school, Idia was one of the few that could be considered truly talented for how much they could pack away. His unnaturally heated stomach digested things far more efficiently than the average person. That and being inhuman made inhuman things far easier to achieve.

Every time you witnessed Idia’s belly swell to incredible sizes you couldn’t help but feel hot. Even more so when he forgot you were in the room, and let out crude belches to make room and then continue eating as if he wasn’t already ballooned beyond normal proportions.

You hoped today would be no different.

“Idia,” you said gently, causing him to look up at you. “Wanna let go of your sleeve for something that’s supposed to go in your mouth?” It was then that he noticed the bags beside you. Almost like a predator picking up on its prey, his eyes zeroed in and he licked his lips instinctively.

*GUuUUOooooRRRggLLEeeee*

Almost on cue, Idia’s stomach growled loudly. The blue haired mage hissed through his teeth and rubbed a hand over his stomach. You giggled and waved your boyfriend over, pleased when he complied.

As Idia arranged himself on the bed, you began to unpack all the food you had acquired for him.

You quickly pulled 2 large pizzas out of the first bag, 4 large pasta dinners came from the second along with a side of half a dozen rolls. The third bag had a footlong and 3 sides of fries. A fourth bag held a dozen brownies and a large blueberry pie. Lastly 2 triple litres of mountain doom emerged from a fifth bag.

In all honesty you may have overdone it with the food, almost always over eager to see how much Idia could really eat before he reached his limit. You assumed he would have no trouble with most of it but everybody had to stop at some point.

Idia got comfortable and finally looked over to the impressive spread of food that you had brought for him. Instantly his eyes widened and his jaw dropped in surprise and hunger, a single stream of drool ran down his chin which he wiped away quickly with a blush.

“Y-you got all of th-this for m-m-me?” You nodded and sat yourself next to him with a smile.

“I thought you would appreciate a selection to choose from.” you said smoothly, as if you hadn’t bought all of this with hopes that he would eat it all.

Shroud swallowed nervously and stared at the food as if daunted. “It’s ok if you don’t eat all of it Idia,” you frowned, “I just thought you might want some food. There’s no need to make yourself sick though.”

He smiled shyly at you. He always appreciated how sensitive you were to his signals. Understanding what he was too afraid to say was one of the things that had drawn him to you in the first place. It reminded him that you loved him whether or not he could fulfill your fantasies.

Not that he couldn’t of course.

With a hungry protest from his stomach, Idia leaned forward and grabbed a slice of pizza. You watched with rapt attention as he tore away nearly half the slice in one bite before chewing and swallowing quickly.

The young mage moaned at the taste and promptly shoved the rest of the slice in his mouth. Only with the first slice did Idia bother taking bites. For the rest of the pizza that he consumed he simply crammed the entire slice in his mouth and let his razor sharp teeth take care of the rest.

Each slice went down swiftly and easily leaving his stomach to burble excitedly at the prospect of more. You bit your lip and squirmed each time a large mass of masticated cheese, sauce, and dough was gulped down, creating a large round protrusion in Idia’s neck before sinking past his chest.

Soon all eight slices of the first pizza were gone. Usually Idia paused and checked on you to make sure he wasn’t grossing you out or anything (despite knowing full well that you enjoy this deeply), but instead he pulled the second box over and began to gorge himself on that pizza as well.

He must be either more hungry or more anxious then you had previously thought, you told yourself.

The pizza he was currently eating was your favorite so you snatched a slice for yourself to eat while he continued to plow through the rest of the box.

As he ate, you noticed that his hand had come to rest atop his stomach contentedly. His belly was becoming a bit distended and bubbled happily as it graciously received more food.

“Urrf… ooh that feels gooood…” Idia groaned and put both hands on his gut when he finished the second pizza. Your face warmed as he sighed after suppressing a low burp in his cheeks. “Excuse me.” You smiled and patted his stomach which sloshed a bit at the contact.

“Don’t worry about it, love. Just enjoy yourself.” He blushed lightly and looked away, making you giggle. In order to distract you from his embarrassment, Idia leaned forward and grabbed the pasta containers, pulling them towards him.

In only moments after opening the first container, all of the pasta had been slurped down leaving Idia to belch softly and sigh. He flushed and placed a hand over his face. You smiled and kissed his cheek which didn’t help his blush.

“It’s alright, let it out when you feel like it.” Idia looked away and slowly went back to eating. Soon he picked up his former pace and you stared eagerly as he swallowed the next three containers of pasta.

Placing the final empty container back on the bed, Idia groaned and held his stomach. You frowned and leaned forward to place a hand on the swollen belly.

It was now the size of a massive watermelon, hanging heavy in his lap. You could feel that he needed to release some pressure, but was suppressing it out of embarrassment. Sneakily you leaned over and gave him a peck on the lips which made his jaw drop, before pressing hard on his bloated tummy.

“HHHUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRP!!!!”

A loud groan emitted from the globe like mass and travelled up until Idia’s open jaws spread further to unleash a large belch. It was loud and clear, filling the air with the stench of italian dough and sauce.

Another shorter after burp came and left Idia huffing and sighing. “Gruuh… hah hah… UUURP! Haaah….” After being with him for some time now, you knew that Idia had a particularly sensitive stomach. Although it could handle massive amounts of food, even the tiniest bit of gas made him cramp up and groan in pain.

You patted his stomach gleefully and slid the bag with the footlong and fries over in hopes that he would eat them next.

Idia’s eyes widened again in excitement and he quickly grabbed the bag and pulled out the foot long. Before eating it he looked over at you curiously. Shifting, you blushed under his gaze and asked him what was wrong.

The blue haired mage then asked, “You like seeing me stuff myself?” You nodded eagerly. This wasn’t the first time he confirmed your kinks and it likely wouldn’t be the last. “Th-then do you wanna see me eat this sandwich in o-one b-b-bite…” His voice got smaller as he spoke and your cheeks got redder. A quick nod and he turned back to the sandwich.

Idia sighed in preparation and held the footlong up to his lips like he was going to kiss it. Then he opened his mouth very, VERY wide, and began to cram the sandwich into it.

Your own jaw dropped as Idia’s throat bulged and buckled to accommodate the sandwich. He continued to feed it into his mouth and you could hardly contain a moan when he finally closed his lips around the end of it and swallowed thickly.

His throat muscles squelched and constricted, eager to move the sandwich down into Idia’s equally eager gut. Soon the belly, still hidden by a hoodie, began to swell. It grew a few inches and you placed a hand on it in wonder.

Finally Idia gasped for air and moaned as he let his hands slide off his stomach, soon to be replaced by yours.

Earnestly, you slid your hands underneath his hoodie and began to rub your boyfriend's tummy, which gurgled contently. A smile slipped onto your lips and you watched as he flushed a dark red at the contact.

“Keep going.” you urged softly and Idia was quick to comply.

With your hands on his stomach Idia had no problems making his way through all of the fries, letting out a greasy burp here and there to make some room.

“Gruh! Salty. Can I get some-” before he could even finish you held up the soda. His gaze flicked back and forth between you and the bottle before you finally smiled sheepishly as he took the bottle.

You shifted in excitement as he unscrewed the cap and the familiar hiss of compressed air leaving a bottle hit your ears. Idia took a deep breath and tipped the bottle up, slugging mouthfuls of soda down by the second.

Sometimes you thought Idia’s throat was like a funnel with the way the soda never stopped lowering in level. Only moments after he started, the soda was below the label, a minute later, it was nearly empty.

Idia’s eyes were shut in concentration and his cheeks flushed with effort. You could hear his throat squelch everytime he gulped. You lay a hand on his stomach and practically swooned. With every swallow you felt it swell slightly beneath your fingers.

Finally, Idia pulled the bottle away from his lips and let it fall to the floor with a huff. He gasped and panted for air for several moments before he winced and his gut gurgled loudly.

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRLLLLLPH!!!!!”

An incredible belch erupted past his lips. The dishes left on the bed rattled from the force of it and when the long eructation ended, Idia slumped backwards with a loud moan. You were positive your face was redder than a tomato.

Your boyfriend sighed and slumped, allowing his tongue to hang out of his maw. His cheeks were also flushed.

Ignoring your hands continuing to caress his stomach, Idia leaned forward and avoided your eyes. His shyness whenever he burped in front of you was adorable, as long as he remembered to let loose.

You let your eyes wander over the taut flesh that peeked out from under Idia’s hoodie. As the young mage licked his lips at the sight of a dozen brownies, all soft, chewy, and chocolaty, you slid yourself so that you were sitting directly on top of his knees.

Staring intently at the way your boyfriend’s lips wrapped around brownie after brownie, teeth scissoring through them like nothing, your fingers wiggled their way underneath the fabric that now barely concealed the globelike gut that sat heavily in front of you.

Through a mouthful of brownie, Idia moaned as your fingertips skimmed along his sides. Tracing along the curve of his rounded belly, you smirked when Idia let his head fall back and mouth drop open in a long sigh.

Removing a single hand, you continued to massage his stomach, and sneakily you picked up a brownie and held it over Idia’s open maw. His eyes flashed eagerly, and without further prompting took the brownie from your hand with his teeth.

He chewed slower than he had when he started the meal, but you could tell he was only just starting to feel it. The ever present warmth and weight that came with a full stomach was leading him to lose pace, simply out of content.

You held another brownie out for him and pressed it gently against his lips when he didn’t open right away. Reluctantly, he sighed and spread his lips so you could press another bite inside. Finally after what seemed like forever, the brownies were gone and Idia hiccuped painfully.

“Ooohh… sooooo full…” Idia groaned and stifled a burp while cradling his gut. “UUUUUUrrrrp… gruh…. Fuck, it’s so tight. Urrgh… heavy…” He burped again, quieter this time and wetter.

The bed creaked as you shifted closer, nearly pressing your own stomach against his bloated one. Sympathetic, you delicately removed Idia’s hands and replaced them with your own. Soon his pain filled noises morphed into pleased moans and sighs.

A smile spread across your face at your boyfriend's happiness. Never looking away, you let your hands drop to his pants and unbuttoned them quickly before he could protest.

As the *zzzrriiip* of the zipper flying down on it’s own finished, a strange look came across Idia’s face before he let his jaw drop to release a massive belch.

“UUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!”

A hellacious stench blasted through the air and made your eyes water when the fetid gas hit them. Loudly, Idia moaned and let his mouth hang open while he panted. A few more burps burst up his throat before he snapped his jaws shut and let them rumble deeply behind his lips.

Pink hues splashed Idia’s cheeks and he whimpered in embarrassment despite your obvious enjoyment of the crass display.

“Shhh. It’s alright Idia. You know I like it,” your hands pushed his sweater up and shirt to expose his large belly. “Let it out babe. I wanna hear you.” While you weren’t always so thirsty this week had been particularly taxing since you hadn’t been able to spend much time with your boyfriend. Now all you wanted to do was enjoy yourself with him.

But first he had to relax.

Gazing down at the expanse of inhumanly pale flesh, you gasped and allowed your hands to fly up and lay themselves against the yoga ball sized bloat Idia was sporting. Huge was the only word that came to mind as you trailed your sight over the belly.

While hidden underneath Idia’s trademark sweatshirt, it was hard to see just how massive he could get. However once removed it was very apparent that he had packed away an entirely large amount of food.

Your fingers kneaded into the soft flesh and above you Idia crooned with delight. A small smile slipped onto your lips and you massaged harder into the mound of gut. Starting on the sides you made sure to work in circles, alternating between large and small ones, as you caressed his stomach.

Your hands slipped underneath and you grasped the skin there and pressed further against him, biting your lip. Sliding a finger up, you traced his navel delicately, deliberately leaving space so you could tease him.

Idia’s eyes had shut in bliss minutes before, but fluttered open when he whined at your lack of attention to the sensitive spot resting atop his spherical gut. Finally you conceded and allowed your finger to slip inside the innie belly button drawing a long moan from your boyfriend. His hips bucked involuntarily and you watched in awe as the skin jiggled in response to the movement.

His cheeks puffed up and he held up a fist to muffle a thick belch. When it finished he hiccuped and sighed before glancing at you nervously.

“HHHHRRRRMMMMLLLPPPHH!”

You raised an eyebrow and grinned mischievously, making him gulp anxiously. Quickly you began to knead harder into the belly making Idia whimper and jerk.

“RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRLLLL-BOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRLLLLPH!!!!”

Suddenly a shockingly large burp exploded out of the mage making your eyes snap upwards. The eructation started fairly good, with a long clear blast before it paused momentarily and raised in volume and power. It must have been satisfying because the moment it ended Idia moaned and bit his lip.

You pressed again and Idia hiccuped jerkily a few times before a couple sickly belches dribbled past his lips.

The mage groaned and whimpered, “I think it’s stuck… HIC-uurgh…” he said and you frowned. That was until a glorious idea entered your head as you realized he still had a bottle of soda to drink.

“Idia!” he glanced at you, “Here, this will help.” You held up the bottle for him and his eyes widened before he shook his head vigorously. “N-n-no that’ll only m-make it worse.”

“Please Idia, for me?” you gave your best puppy eyes and he sighed in defeat before holding up his hand for the bottle.

You squirmed excitedly as he took the soda and unscrewed the cap. He flung the piece of plastic somewhere else in the room and gave you a shy smile before upending the bottle.

One of your favorite things to do was watch Idia drink soda. Large golf ball sized bulges continuously rolled down his throat as he gulped down carbonated sugary sweetness even after being stuffed to his limit. A look of strain accompanied his flushed cheeks which had turned red from exertion.

Your hands felt the skin beneath them stretch even further to accommodate the added liquid. You moaned as you watched his gut visibly expand with each swallow and listened so you could hear the thick squelch of his throat and the splash of a waterfall of soda entering his bloated gut.

Quicker than you would have liked, Idia finished the bottle and let it drop and roll off the bed onto the floor. He groaned and placed his hands over his taut skin which was still stretching even after the mass of liquid had finished being consumed.

Idia wasn’t human, that much was obvious. But something that most people didn’t know was that his entire body ran ridiculously hot. He had once described it as having a fever 24/7. He was always hotter than the air around him. Particularly his organs.

It was secretly another one of your favorite things about him. Having a hot stomach meant that when he drank anything carbonated, the soda would fizz faster and fill his stomach with air making it bloat even after he finished drinking.

The blue haired teen panted and shifted uncomfortably and you took note of his displeasure. With a frown you resumed your rubbing and focused on finding tenser spots to press on. It wasn’t long before you discovered one.

More eagerly than you perhaps meant to, you pressed down firmly and a tonsil rattling belch rang through the room.

“BWWWWUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRPK!!!!!”

He sighed when it finished and you smirked when his cheeks flushed, however you knew that the main event had yet to come and continued searching his engorged gut for tight spots.

“BRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!”

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRP!!!!”

“HHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMLLLLLLLLLLPH!!!”

“BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOORRRRP!!!!!!!”

For several minutes Idia belched and burped uncontrollably as you pressed and kneaded into his upset tummy. Each eruption was long, loud, and ridiculously hot. You squirmed feeling warmer by the second.

The shallow belches were nice, but still lacked the heft that would relieve Idia of his tummy ache.

“HRRPK! Oooooooh… nooo it hurts. Why won’t it come out FuuUUUUUUURRRRK! Gruh…”

You scowled determinedly and leaned forwards making Idia blush. “What-what are you d-doing?” Quickly you wrapped both your arms around his midsection and squeezed as tightly as you could.

Idia’s eyes went wide and a nauseous green look came over his face as he raised a hand. For a moment you feared he would be sick, but then beneath you his entire stomach reverberated with an intense groan.

You could hear it rise in his throat and looked up in anticipation. Despite his best efforts, Idia’s hand was blown away by the single most intense, loudest, longest, most powerful belch you had ever had the pleasure of experiencing...

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU - HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

...and it blasted you right in the face. If you could, you would have noticed how the bed shook in its wake, but all of your senses were completely dominated by the burp. Hot and sickly air blew your hair back and your eyes watered even after you shut them. Flecks of spittle landed on your face and beneath you, you could feel Idia’s stomach emptying of gas.

It was perfect. When it finally came to a close after a whopping 14 seconds Idia gasped and panted. You were still stunned when he fell backwards on the bed, taking you with him, the movement making his gut slosh with a loud ‘blooorsh’.

Drool slipped down his chin while his tongue hung out of his open maw. His face was flushed from exertion, making him look even more appealing.

When time caught up to you, the hearts in your eyes danced as you dove forwards to plant a sloppy kiss on your boyfriend's lips. He immediately embraced you back and tiredly smiled at you when you pulled back.

“I take it you enjoyed that one?” You nodded vigorously, making him chuckle.

“And I take it you are finally relaxed?” you asked hesitantly, hoping the answer would be yes.

“Well, I’m full of delicious food, holding my kinky girlfriend,” you glared teasingly, “and too tuckered out to feel embarrassed so, yeah I’d say I’m doing pretty good.”

“Good” you said before kissing him on the nose. Regardless of his earlier boldness he blushed with an eep and hid his head in your neck. A quiet “I love you” was mumbled into your skin and you smiled, “I love you too Idia.”

[bothcreativitybois]

Intruality Week 2021

Intruality week is here!! Finally time to celebrate my boys and for me to take the spot of no.1 intruality blog

Day 1: Ugly Sweaters

@intrualityweek2021 @intruality-overlord

TWs: Swearing, little bit of sad Patton (hehehe), meantion of drugs, Remus doing Remus things

General Taglist: (ask if you want to be added <3) @crazydemigod666 @star-crossed-shipper 

Patton spun around in the mirror. The new jumper he’d just knitted swirled around him due to its large size, he thought about how many other Pattons he could fit in it. He pouted in the mirror.

“I want more Pattons.” He whined to himself. Then an idea struck, he already had more Pattons! He quickly ran out of his room and to the shared lounge room. Roman sat on the ground with papers and pencils scattered around him. In his excitement Patton trod through the papers, kicking things wildly. “Romeo!” Patton shouted excitedly. Roman was pulled out of his creative bubble when Patton popped it.

“My babies!” Roman shrieked. He frantically gathered up the displaced items. Patton was unfazed.

“I had a great idea!” Patton said. Roman sat back with the papers in hand.

“So did I!” Roman said. “Then a big bumbling baby broke my focus.” Patton looked down to see where he was standing. He quickly jumped out of the way.

“Oh sorry, Ro.” Patton said as Roman began gathering up his stuff. “Notice something different?” Patton put out his arms and span, hoping Roman would notice the new jumper. Roman looked up for one second before going back to work.

“You mean the cotton candy disaster spread around you?” Roman mocked, Patton looked down at the blue and pink wool he’d used.

“Well… I uh…” Patton attempted. “I thought it was cute?”

“You look like you fell in a worm’s gender reveal party.” Roman said as he stood with his supplies. Patton pulled at some of the loose threads self consciously. “The heart is cute though.” Roman poked the white shape on Patton’s back before sinking out.

“It’s a paw print…” Patton mumbled dejectedly. Patton didn’t let the insults get him, it was his fault for disturbing Roman’s work. He shook it off and set off to find another side. 

Conveniently Logan walked down the stairs at that moment holding an empty mug. Patton beamed.

“Greetings Patton.” Logan said tiredly walking past. Patton rushed to his side.

“Logie, I had a great idea!” Patton announced excitedly as Logan pushed him away. “I have this cute new sweater and I-”

“I just came out to get coffee.” Logan said entering the kitchen. He grabbed the coffee pot which still was half full and began pouring it into his cup. There was no way it was still warm.

“Okay but this will only take a second.” Patton reasoned. Logan put the coffee pot back.

“I don’t have a second, I need to work.” Logan stepped out of the kitchen. Patton watched him go.

“Do you like the sweater at least?” Patton asked quietly. Logan looked over from taking a sip of coffee.

“The construction is a bit sloppy.” Logan said back and left. Patton sighed. Again, he tried to let it roll off. Logan was always busy, he had important things to do. Patton sat on the ground against the wall. He couldn’t even be bothered asking Virgil. Even if he listened to him unlike the others, there was no way he’d want to do what Patton planned. Patton picked at the loose threads again. He closed his eyes as they began to sting with salty tears. Maybe if he did a better job everyone would notice? Maybe they’d want to spend time with him too. Maybe he just wasn’t good enough. Patton noticed a plant across the room move. He rubbed his eyes and looked again and it continued to twitch.

“Are you my leafy godmother?” Patton asked.

“Heh?” A brash nasally voice came from the plant. Patton slowly stood and saw Remus squatting shirtless next to the plant. He walked closer. Remus’ hands already had a thick layer of dirt.

“What are you doing?” Patton asked hesitantly. Asking Remus what he was doing always guaranteed an interesting answer. Remus stood to meet Patton.

“Ah I found this teddy bear and was thinking, what if I filled it with dirt? But all the dirt in my dirt container was gone an-” Remus cut himself off and dropped the dirt. He grabbed Patton’s face. Patton scrunched up his face.

“Hi?” Patton was confused. None of his friends were really touchy people, much to his dismay because Patton loved it.

“What drugs were you doing?” Remus asked. Patton grabbed Remus hands and pulled his face away.

“None!”

“Your eyes are red?” Remus pointed out grabbing Patton’s face again. “Did you try to bleach them so they’d look cool but they burned a lot so you put toothpaste on them because it always feels cold but that only made the toothpaste bubble and hurt your eyes more?” Patton was confused.

“No? Did you?” Patton asked. Remus let go of Patton and shrugged.

“Why are your eyes red then?” Reemus pressed again. Patton looked away. “Were you crying?” Patton reeled for a moment. He didn’t know Remus could be… like that.

“Uh… a little.” Patton shifted awkwardly. He never really talked about his bad emotions, he didn’t want anyone to feel bad.

“Did you see Roman’s face and realise how ugly he was?” Remus asked. Patton chuckled a little but immediately felt bad. Remus smiled widely.

“I just...” Patton began. He wasn’t sure if he could continue but Remus was just looking at him so he did. “I just had a fun idea and… no one wanted to listen…”

“Oooh what was it?” Remus asked immediately. Patton was shocked again.

“You want to know? You aren’t too busy?” Pattons eyes lit up. His chest swelled. Remus wiped off his hands.

“Princess Dirty Slut can wait.” Remus said. “Besides, apart from yours truly, you have the best ideas of the group. And the best fashion.” Patton smiled proudly. He couldn’t stop himself from talking.

“I made this really cute new sweater and it’s so big it swirls like a dress when I spin and it got me thinking how many mes I could fit in it so I wanted to get one of you guys to try and climb in it to see.” Patton explained in one breath. Remus lit up just watching Patton explain. Without saying anything Remus hurdled over the couch and grabbed Patton’s jumper.

“Don’t move.” Remus said as he crouched. Patton blushed as Remus crawled into the jumper, he had never had anyone this close to him. He felt a nip at his side. Did Remus just bite him? Remus slid around in the jumper until his arms were in the sleeves with Patton’s and grabbed Patton’s hands. A second later Remus’ head popped out of the top, his face basically pressed against Patton’s. “Hey there cutie.” Patton’s heart skipped a beat, he could feel his face flushing red. They both stood there, arms outstretched and pressed against each other. It didn’t phase Remus but for Patton it was almost overwhelming.

“Uh… how do we get out?” Patton asked as he looked away. Remus smiled crookedly.

“I guess we don’t. You’re mine now.” Remus teased. Patton felt himself blush more. None of the other sides made him feel like this. He worried if Remus could tell what he was thinking.

“Hey Remus?” Patton said as he lowered their arms. “Do you ever do this sort of stuff with Janus?”

“Oh fuck no, Janny hates ideas like this. He’s not a touchy kind of snake.” Remus explained. Patton felt his legs start to get stiff, he wiggled a little. Remus chuckled.

“Sorry.” Patton said instinctively.

“Don’t be.” Remus said with a hungry smile. “You’re adorable.”  Remus put a quick and wet kiss on Patton’s nose. Patton shut down for a second. He felt his legs give out which caused the two men to fall. Remus flailed awkwardly trying to catch them before falling heavily on top of Patton. Patton could barely breathe but it felt… nice.

“I uh…” Patton stammered. Remus laughed.

“If you wanted more you could’ve just asked.” Remus teased.

“I want out.” Patton mumbled and began squirming. Remus pulled himself up into a kneel and Patton slid out of the jumper and retreated a few feet away. He muttered something about leaving and began heading for the stairs. Remus stared.

“What about your sweater?” Remus grabbed the bottom and began pulling it off. Patton quickly put up his hands and blocked his face.

“No no… uh keep it.” Patton stammered. “Bye.” Patton quickly ran up to his room. Remus sat there in the middle of the lounge room, alone.

“What?”

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 34

💖 first time reader click here 💖

A little bit of plot, but mostly ironstrange x reader filthy porn. Bukkake stuff. Stephen finally opening up a lil bit, I mean... I've slept through a 1/3 of a hospital and lemme tell you, doctors are kinky bastards. On the same note, there's definitely going to be a chapter where all three men are involved after the plot shit is resolved.

There was something big brewing. I had a hunch... which was more like a strong sense of doom... hanging over me and the rest of the world. Peter also had noticed the sudden spike in anxiety, quoting the sudden disappearance of many low-tier mutants from the streets. Usually, Peter dealt with at least a few enhanced enemies during his patrols but the closer it got to Christmas, the less enhanced bothered with small-time crimes, the more intense the buzzing of his Spidey sense became.

Now that my immediate lack of income wasn't a problem anymore, I set business onto that damn mercenary. I was no spy, I was no SHIELD operative but... I could be very clever.

First things first, I had to make sure I would stay alive no matter what. A subdermal tracker was a good guarantee of security and I spent many hours making one - having to keep it a secret was incredibly hard, I hated lying to my loves and I hated avoiding Wanda even more - I was constantly on the edge around the telepath, hyperfocused on keeping up the pretense of normalcy.

I wouldn't be me if I couldn't successfully pull off a whole ass façade. Unfortunately, the continued failures of the people searching left and right for the mercenary only fueled my strength for the inevitable fuck-fest that I would have to create in order to make sure my people get the peace they fucking deserve. The web of lies grew in size every damn day.

Subdermal tracker, an implant that reports directly to Friday upon activation. It hurt like a bitch - I had cut myself open, an inch wide gash on the inside of my forearm - and put it in without any anesthesia in my own bathroom, not even thinking twice before making up a lie that I had been careless in the lab and hurt myself.

An antidote to common tranquilizers, creating it gave me a headache the size of Moscow but I'd been successful; Tony assembled the whole team when he found it out, offering me a ridiculous amount of money for the formula. It was weird. SHIELD was interested, too, and I had to witness Tony and Coulson argue. Apparently, the agency wanted to recruit me and Tony was adamantly against it, totally forgetting the promise Natasha had given me. In the end, the spy and Coulson shared a quiet conversation and the man left, respectfully complimenting my skills.

I sold the formula to Stark Industries, unable to get rid of the weirdness of the situation. I had to shake hands with my own boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend... In a business setting. What. Just what. Bucky and Stephen couldn't stop laughing at the face I made all throughout that day - and Clint even went as far as to bake me a gag cake, a cartooney handshake drawn in frosting on top of it. I hit him with a spatula, Loki smiled in his direction for the first time in, like, ever. It was a trip and Tony had way too much fun with the incident.

Perhaps, turning myself into a cyborg stew wasn't the best plan that was possible to think up in a few weeks' time but I've never claimed to be exceptionally intelligent; if anything, I've always considered myself to be a moderately educated idiot. It is common knowledge that there are two halves of a whole idiot: my second half was on his way from California, having had received my very detailed e-mail about the whole cursed box fiasco and the consequences that followed. I could barely contain my excitement at the prospect of seeing uncle Eddie and his symbiote again.

Tony wasn't even half as excited; if anything, he bordered on outright hostile, bickering, and sassing everybody left and right. It could have been the situation at hand finally getting on his last nerves. It could have been his jealousy, the same that appeared every time I paid extra attention to someone that wasn't him, Bruce or Stephen. Either way, Bruce was sighing all the time now and Stephen's remarks began to fill with poison once again.

Just like the good old times, I guess. I was forced to pull a Me over and over, interrupting their petty arguments with increasingly absurd remarks. I felt like everybody was laughing at me these days, which ended in only one way it could have...

"Brat," Stephen's patience was paper-thin and, being forcefully distracted from yelling at Tony, he directed his angst at the nearest person - me. "I oughta put you over my knee. I swear to Cosmos..."

"Blah, blah, blah. Don't you ever get tired of listening to yourself talk?" I raised my eyebrows, tone deceptively calm. "You're talking too much for someone who can't even..." I didn't get to finish my sentence, suddenly finding my mouth firmly glued shut. It was magic - the sensation was pulling, but not unpleasant. Reminded me of a ball gag Tony had used on me in the early days of our relationship.

"Now, Dumbledore, hold your horses..." Tony interjected looking none-too-happy. The engineer placed a warning arm on the sorcerer's bicep, their little spat seemingly forgotten.

"What, Tony? She's been nothing but a mouthy urchin the past few days, I can't stand it anymore," They shared a meaningful look; no matter how much Tony wanted to argue, he knew Stephen was right. What he didn't know was that there probably have been a magic versus science altercation... Or worse. Humiliation was a small price to pay for some (relative) peace.

I did what I do best. I annoyed them further, throwing up a juicy middle finger to the two men and turned around with a huff, mind set on finding Loki to undo the mute ban Stephen gave me. Needless to say, I didn't make it very far.

In mere seconds, I was sandwiched between the two men, Stephen's finger delicately holding my chin to force me to look into his eyes. Tony was holding onto my shoulders from behind me - I could feel the tension, my engineer was almost buzzing with it. I was pretty sure my eyes were laughing anyway because Stephen's frown slowly transformed into a coy smirk once his stormy blues focused on my face.

"Brat," He repeated once again. "She's doing this on purpose."

"I can't say I'm surprised," Tony's breath tickled the nape of my neck. "That does sound like our little Princess," Apparently, it took all of a 0.1 second for Tony to switch from annoyed to horny. Men, they were so easy to play. "Baby, if you wanted our attention you could have just said so," He chastised me, hands sliding down to my waist.

I hummed, and then aggressively hummed some more until Stephen removed the magical gag. "Not like you'd notice it, being occupied with tearing each other's hair out," I pouted.

The sorcerer briefly averted his eyes, leaning down to softly kiss my pout. It was very unlikely I'd get an actual apology but a kiss I won't be complaining about either. "So, your best tactic was to annoy us even more? How does that work out for you?"

I pulled on the tied fabric around his waist, bringing him closer to me. "Pretty good, if I'm being honest. You're exactly where I wanted you to be," Carelessly, I began untying the layers of silks and cotton I had become intimately familiar with over the course of the past few weeks. Most of the time Steph wore his wizard garbs and while figuring out how to undo them was a trip at first, I had gotten him desperate enough a few times, for him to show me a few tips and tricks for easier access.

Tony snorted somewhere behind me. "You just want us for our bodies," His hands wormed their way under my shirt, brushing the underside of my breasts. Bra? Hardly know her. "Our beautiful, sexy bodies." Yes Tony, very humble.

"When will you learn, people?" I asked rhetorically, simultaneously leaning into both Tony's and Stephen's touch. "Why fight each other when you could be fucking me into oblivion instead?"

Stephen snorted, still not completely used to the at times crude things that left my (and occasionally Tony's) mouth. I had a hunch the sorcerer was holding back somewhat - for whatever reason - and I was eagerly waiting for him to get comfortable enough to reveal that special part of himself. Whatever it was, I just knew it was delicious and sinful and-

"Do you really think I will be giving you what you want after your little... Stunt?" Steph went balls out; his voice dropped and the intensity of his stare left me breathless. The hand that was stroking my face wrapped around my throat as he had some sort of a silent conversation with Tony.

"Yeah," I emphasized the word with an inaudible 'duh' behind it but obediently trotted along as Stephen backed up towards the couch, leading me by the throat like a pet on a leash. I was steadily going into 'no thoughts, head empty' territory.

"I like it when you get all bossy," Tony remarked casually but he was close enough for me to hear the strain in his voice. Every time we fucked, Tony eagerly gave up the control to Stephen. I definitely saw the appeal. Stephen Strange demanded authority effortlessly, his stern but fair attitude simply demanded to kneel.

That's just what I did. As soon as Stephen made himself comfortable on the Italian leather couch, I dropped to my knees, looking up at the man with big round eyes. Just like Tony and Bruce, Stephen had his own weaknesses when it came to moi and I wasn't ashamed to exploit them. Steph's stroked my hair, carding careful fingers through it, slowly unbuttoning his pants with his other hand.

"If you insist on being mouthy, I have a better task for you," He husked, pulling me closer towards him. I called it his doctor voice. Honestly, I don't have a clue how his surgical team could be around him with their pants on back in the day... The man was a snack on a silver platter.

Steph's erection sprang free. I didn't hesitate to wrap my hand around it, stroking the underside of his glans just like he liked it, looking to the side where Tony landed on the couch next to Stephen, a curious look on his face. Yeah, Tony liked to watch. Me and Stephen or me and Bruce... Me and Stephen and Bruce? That's an idea for later.

"Don't mind little old me," Tony smirked his trademark Stark mischief, getting comfortable, ditching his oil-stained shirt and unbuttoning his pants to lazily palm himself through his boxers. "Carry on," The smirk only grew when Tony noticed both me and Steph eyeing him with amusement.

I hid my grin, nodding my head, before wrapping my lips around the tip of Stephen's cock, relaxing my throat to prepare for the intrusion. Sweet and salty, the slit on his cockhead was mercilessly teased by the tip of my tongue.

Stephen murmured encouragements under his breath as I began to bob up and down, him controlling the pace with a hand in my hair, just the right balance between cruel and gentle. The sorcerer was always too good to me, bringing me to the point of overstimulation and instantly soothing the ache afterward; "Fuck, darling, your mouth feels like heaven," He groaned as I snuck a look upwards to see his lips parted and a steady flush crawling up his neck.

"She knows how to work a man, doesn't she?" Tony's lust had him panting, hips moving into his own hand. He leaned closer to Stephen, brushing my hair behind my ear with a tender hand. "Merlin needs to share," Tony began pulling me in his direction. I reluctantly let go of Stephen's cock, keeping up the pace with my hand as I scooted closer to Tony to be able to mouth at his stiff erection.

Watching me suck cock always got Tony hard enough to pound nails with. I couldn't blame him, I knew what I could do and did well; by the time I made my way down his thick flesh, drool was dripping down my chin and the make-up around my eyes was surely smeared by tears. My engineer was much less gentle than Steph, pounding my face without reservations.

"I know you can take it, baby girl, fuck," My face was held in his strong grip, thumbs digging into my jaw. "Such a good girl," The two words went straight down to my pussy and I had to squirm and clench my thighs together, whining at the lack of friction.

The air was pierced by a low moan - Stephen was fisting his erection almost desperately now, almost as desperately as I was humping the air, whining like a bitch in heat at the taste of Tony's cock in my mouth. I knew neither of the men would last long, not with all that pent up tension running through their minds and bodies.

"Fuck, come here, baby girl," The engineer yanked me off his cock, gripping the base of it so forcefully his knuckles turned white. I was all but dragged into the space between them; still kneeling, barely seeing with snot and tears smeared all over my face, I couldn't hold in the broken moan as the realization set in.

"Keep your eyes open!" Steph instructed furiously, scooting to tower over me. Tony followed in his steps as I obediently lifted my eyes to their cocks and then their faces; nearly identical furrowed brow expressions stared back at me, lips moist and eyes wide. Both men stroked themselves with renewed vigor.

I hummed softly before sticking out my tongue; their reaction didn't let me wait long. Strings of pearly white cum landed in my hair, on my face; I felt the warmth on my skin and tasted their salt and musk on the tip of my tongue, reflexively swallowing each and every drop that landed in my mouth, savoring it just like I savored the sinful groans that left their mouths.

"Fuck, you're so good to us," Tony panted, gracelessly falling backward onto the couch.

Stephen, however, didn't hurry to catch his breath, giving me a thoughtful look. His fingers shook more than ever but he paid no mind to the discomfort, gathering the cum dripping down my face with two fingers and offering it to me, holding them up to my lips as I gently cleaned them off. And he did it again, and again, until Tony gave a weak moan of recognition, throwing an arm under his head.

"Be polite, Princess," Stephen's voice hadn't lost the lust in it just yet.

"Thank you, sir," I mumbled, utterly captivated by the way he was looking at me. Stormy blues radiated a strong sense of intensity, devotion perhaps, that I wasn't ready for.

Stephen smiled at me, almost coyly, before kneeling right next to me and bringing me over the edge with a few sharp, clever movements of his hand. I held onto his shoulders for dear life, barely noticing Tony's reaction - if there was one - my other lover seemed to be as surprised as I was, choosing to hang back and observe the unusual situation.

I had a feeling that whatever it was, it would make another appearance during our playtime. It wasn't just sex, it wasn't making love - it was... Something. I loved every second of it.

@another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95 @gladiosamicitias @toomanyrobins @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming

[aipilosse]

I don't know if you're still doing the ask prompts, but I saw you'd already filled the one I'd put for Mae Squared before so I thought I'd pick a different one so you didn't have to do the same one twice. I was thinking maybe 15? But only if you're still doing them/want to! Thanks for all the lovley writing you give to the fandom!

Yes I am! My first attempt at Maedhros/Sauron AKA Mae Squared, and the prompt ‘Out of your element’ from this prompt list. Rated Teen or so for, ya know, Angband.

There were so many different layers of misery in Angband. 

There was the misery of torture of course, of having the flesh torn from his back with spiked whips until he passed out from blood loss, only to have the whips brought out again when he was half healed. There was the horrible pain of glowing metal set to his flesh until he thought his bones must be singed, all the while his tormenters asked for answers he did not know and had never known. There was the misery of constant humiliation, sometimes as a method of torment, but also the just the daily degradation as he was denied clothes and the filth on his body built up, until he felt lower than a worm. 

He also learned that misery could be delivered just as well through neglect. At first, he thought he could bear hunger, but as the years passed and he saw his body waste before his eyes, the gnawing pain in his gut became harder and harder to bear. The pain of thirst moved faster; he soon learned that even if he had been allowed a cup of bitter, oily water, in just a few hours Maitimo’s throat would be burning. He would wait for days with his awful thirst in whatever position he had been chained in, the ache in his joints and the cramps in his muscles growing into agony.

Misery sank into his bones, until it seemed to encompass his past, his present, and his future. When they came to unchain him from the horrible crouch he had been kept in for several days, Maitimo felt a brief moment of relief despite the more logical part of his mind that told him he was being released only for further pain. The four orcs sent to escort him had to drag him; his legs refused to move after being locked in place for so long.

When the walls changed from the rough texture of the caves he was usually moved between to smooth dark stone, Maitimo felt his dread grow. The only time he was taken this far above ground was when he was taken to Morgoth, and that was the worst misery by far in Angband. The Vala’s piercing eyes and terrible burning spirit seemed able to torment his mind as much as whips tormented his body.

He wasn’t brought to the throne room. Instead, they stopped in front of a pair of iron bound double doors.

“We have a guest for Lord Mairon,” one of the orcs said.

The guard at the door peered at him suspiciously. “My lord did not tell me he was expecting any visitors.”

“Order from the Mighty One,” the orc replied.

“He’s not going to like this,” the guard warned, but rapped on the door with his spear anyway.

“What?” The flat question came from inside the room.

“Lord Melkor has sent you a visitor.”

There was a sound that seemed penetrate Maitimo’s very being; whatever was on the other side of that door wasn’t pleased. “Make it quick.”

Maitimo didn’t know what he expected as he was dragged through the door, but whatever it was, it wasn’t this. The floor was carpeted, the plush surface unbelievably soft against feet that had only felt stone for years. The room was diffused with light, the soft glow of candles magnified by crystals and colored glass. The large room seemed to be divided into different purposes — Maitimo could have sworn he saw goldsmithing tools at a workbench and another corner with glass containers filled with multi-colored liquids — before he was thrown to the ground.

“Kneel,” snarled the orc, as if it was possible for Maitimo to do anything else. He bowed to Mairon. “The Mighty One says you must interrogate him.”

“Oh really? I must interrogate him? As if I have nothing better to do with my time than question a useless prisoner? I suppose requisitions, excavations, and the logistics of arming our entire host is not enough?” Mairon’s low musical voice was at odds with the sharp sarcasm of his tone. Maitimo watched his guards shuffle awkwardly from his spot on the ground.

“Get out. And if you breathe a word of what I said, I will slowly boil you from the inside out.” The orcs beat a hasty retreat, and then they were alone. Maitimo didn’t look up; whatever horrors were in store for him would happen whatever he did.

“Well, have a seat, I’ll get to you in a moment.” That at least grabbed Maitimo’s attention. He peered up from his spot on the floor. Mairon wasn’t looking at him at all; his entire focus was on whatever he was writing. Maitimo almost gasped out loud; Mairon was stunning. Red hair, a deeper shade than any he had seen tumbled around his shoulders. The golden flame of his eyes was mesmerizing. Maitimo swallowed; he already felt horribly out of place and filthy in the rich, pristine chambers. Now he felt like a twisted creature compared to the being before him. 

But he had been asked to take a seat. Earlier, he would have fought even the smallest order in Angband, but now he knew there was no point in resisting this reasonable request. Better to save his energy for the actual questioning. Maitimo crawled to the chair, and pulled himself onto it. He winced as he sat down. His back and buttocks were still only partially healed from the last time he had been whipped, but the flinch was more so at the thought of his filthy skin touching the elegant upholstery. 

Mairon didn’t look up through the whole laborious process. He appeared to be filling in some sort of grid, carefully writing figures and occasionally tallying up the columns. Finally he looked up.

“So you are the High King of the Noldor?” He sounded bored.

“I was. I am not king of much here.” Maitimo met Mairon’s eyes, trying not to be the cringing thing he could feel himself becoming. 

“Hm, so I am to interrogate you. Are they still asking you about silima?”

“Among other things,” Maitimo said cautiously.

“I already know the size of your army, how they are armed, what they have gained, what they still lack, where you are camped, the messages that have been exchanged with the local Sindar, and who now calls himself the High King. I’m sure I know more than you at this point about the Noldor on these shores.” Mairon sighed heavily. “But I shall question you nonetheless. How did Fëanáro create the Silmarils?”

“I don’t know,” Maitimo said, reflexive terror closing around his throat and making his voice shake.

“Why did Fëanáro burn the ships?”

“To prevent anyone from fleeing, and from his half-brother from joining us.” He had agonized over letting that information slip, but it had spilled out some time ago. In the end he wasn’t sure how much it mattered. Morgoth already knew of the strife between Fëanáro and Nolofinwë; he had helped sow it. At least Maitimo had not spoken of the kinslaying.

“Anything else you wish to share?” Mairon absently flicked a contraption on his desk, setting off a tinkling cascade of chimes.

“No.”

“Well, that was a very productive conversation, a good use of time for us both.”

Maitimo felt a huff of air leave him, something like a laugh. “This is the best use of my time since I arrived.”

A corner of Mairon’s mouth rose. “I suppose it is.” He drummed his fingers against the desk. “Nelyafinwë, do you like games?”

“Yes,” said Maitimo hesitantly. 

“The only thing that’s enjoyed by folk here is base gambling. A good wager can be entertaining, but only for a moment.” Mairon carefully set the ledger to the side. “The numbers are as good as they are going to get until Langon sends his update.” Mairon stood and returned with two goblets. He handed one to Maitimo. Maitimo sniffed it suspiciously. 

“It’s water.”

After a cautious sip, Maitimo began to drink greedily, the cool, clean water soothing his parched throat and tasting sweeter than any nectar.

“If you throw up, I am expelling you immediately.” 

Maitimo reluctantly lowered the goblet, and saw a board with many glittering pieces had appeared on the desk. 

“So, you are the silver pieces, I am the gold,” Mairon began. Maitimo tried to focus on the rules, his mind still reeling from the unexpected, if temporary, relief from torment and his surprisingly charming host.

[miraculousmarifan]

Felinette Month 2020 - Day 20: Beach Day

Sorry for the delay! Things are getting crazy so there will likely be more delay before the rest of the @felinettenovember prompts are finished. I’ll definitely still write them all though, if you guys decide to stick around for it!

This will probably be my most inappropriate one, with a hormonal teenage Felix at the beach with their class. At most it’s PG-13, so don’t feel too worried, and it’s only part of like two paragraphs closer to the beginning.

Around 1500 words

Marinette has been a natural designer since before Felix had met her. She seemed born with fashion in mind, functional fashion rather than the absurd looks many designers focused on for the runway. He knew she was going places, even before he heard Gabriel discussing her internship offer with Nathalie. 

With her natural ability, Marinette knew how to best emphasize certain areas while minimizing less flattering features. Unfortunately this talent also drew Felix’s eyes and made him feel like a dirty pervert. Part of him hated agreeing to go on this pointless school trip, a trip to the beach to celebrate their upcoming graduation. Soon everyone would head into their separate fields and there'd be less excuses to see each other. Felix would miss out on seeing the lovely Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

He held out hopes that after he finished his business management degree and started working to learn the ropes of Gabriel (in order to eventually take over part of the family business), he may be able to sneak in and see Marinette more often... If she did accept the internship offered… and stayed with the company that long… and wasn't being worked to death… the last one he could at least try to prevent at that point by trying to force her to take necessary breaks.

The fondness he was harboring (a large crush if plainly said, obvious to all even if he refuses to directly acknowledge it, Marinette included) directly lead to his agreement to go to the beach with their class, most of their expenses covered (at least in part by a sizeable donation he had finagled anonymously), and therefore to his current predicament: the distracting state of Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Sporting a lovely swimsuit of her own design, she looked modest yet more eye catching than usual. The top half appeared to be some hybrid between a halter and a bandeau top, with cloth and strings going down to her bottoms in a way that not only held the pieces together and more firmly in place but also drew the eyes over her ridiculously toned stomach and towards her hips. The bottoms fit well, hugging her curves and covering her actual butt, rather than showing "hints" like many of their classmates while still making its existence known,  complete with some bows tied on to add a certain degree of "innocent modesty" to the design. The shades of pink and blue she chose were perfect for both her skin tone and to bring out the depths in her eyes. She was indeed phenomenal in her design capacities and very possibly toying with him. 

And Felix couldn’t seem to stop his eyes from tracing over her, from her bright smile down to her muscular stomach (what kinds of workouts is she getting at that bakery?!), back up to the hair twisting between her swimsuit strap and her neck, and then to her face again. The sound of her laugh ringing out didn't help him focus on gaining composure.

Repeatedly he would lay down and cover his face with the book he had chosen to bring (an older copy of his that wouldn't be worsened by the sand or dirt getting on it), all in hopes that he could will away the fantasies worming their way into his thoughts. Kissing her, one hand behind her neck wrapping around strands of thick dark hair, the other on her hips. Feeling the warmth of her skin from soaking up sun and smelling the delicious perfume she preferred lately, her body pulled close. Her hands drifting up my chest or, better yet, my back as she tries to limit the space between us. Felix smacked his face in hopes of pushing out his perverted thoughts. Damn hormones. She isn't an object to be used, she deserves to be treated with respect!

In his concentration Felix missed that he was actually groaning incoherently out loud, as well as the sound of Marinette approaching to invite him to build a sandcastle with her. Her voice made him jump and a blush spread across his entire face.

"Hey Felix! I know you've got your book but I was wondering if you wanted to help me build a sandcastle? You've got really steady hands and a nack for structure!" She smiled hopefully, leaning over towards him with her hands on her knees. Felix looked away and noticed more than one set of eyes watching them jealously. Marinette was definitely beautiful.

"Heeeey… you startled me… are you sure you don't want to build it with someone else? I don't mind helping but you might have more fun with someone else," he stumbled through his words, trying really hard to avoid looking towards her face and body without seeming rude. At that angle, it was too hard not to see her body while looking at her face and he knew it would distract him too much. He hated how much his hormones had flared up in recent months.

She laughed in her usual bright manner in reply to his weak protest and reached a hand out towards him. He accepted as she told him to come on and pulled him towards a sandy spot far enough in to avoid the waves rushing over it but close enough that they could easily get the more wet sand. Marinette had already picked the perfect spot out by setting a few cups of different sizes, a few gardening tools, and a few drinks partially buried in the sand. As they arrived, she pulled one bottle out of its wet sand holder and checked that Felix liked that kind. He appreciated how attentive she was to people's preferences. She pulled out a different soda and took a sip before returning it to her homemade cup holder. Felix followed suit, then took his place across from her and picked up a small rake-like tool.

He began scraping across the sand, both pulling up sand and flattening out the area. He slowly packed the displaced sand into one of the largest cups in tandem with his landscaping. Marinette watched him for a bit, then picked up a small cup and went to the water's edge to collect some water.

With one large cup filled with sand, he put it down to start building the wall towers. Marinette began pulling sand from other surrounding areas and wetting it with her additional water to pack it into the mold. Soon the two had worked seamlessly to build the outline of a large castle with tall walled areas and it was ready to be shaped further. Felix found that while he could sneak glances at Marinette as the sun shone off her hair beautifully and, with something concrete to focus on and keep his hands moving, it was much easier to keep his mind from straying to the inappropriate. 

The two managed to smooth the walls, make indents for arched windows, and the shape of a door. On the outer walls, they made what looked like a drawbridge pulled up and indents on the top made it look like the tower had crenelation. They had determined a moat would be ideal for their castle's defense. This they made deep, digging down until the sand was almost closer to being dirt, then made a path down to the water's edge so the tide could run down. Rather than digging the entire way deeply, they angled the path so the water would be encouraged to move that direction while theoretically also containing a minimum amount of the water that already flowed into the moat. Finally they moved some of the water directly into the moat so it would have a start.

By the time they finished, a few classmates were watching with interest. Marinette took a quick photo on her phone, telling Felix to pose next to it with a smile. He obliged only for her sake.

Felix stood and stretched, giving his body some time to loosen up after crouching for so long. Suddenly a little bit of water splashed on his back, startling him. Marinette laughed behind him and he turned, face expressing some of the shock he felt. She cracked up even more and Felix decided this was worth getting revenge.

He sprinted towards her in the water and she reached too slow for his surprising speed. He managed to grab her by the waist and twist her around, causing her to fall gently into the slightly deeper water. She continued laughing and Felix grinned before she pulled him into the water with her. This was a challenge he couldn't ignore so he began the splashing contest between the two.

On the shore, Nino and Alya watched from their blanket under an umbrella. The two wondered aloud if they should start a betting pool on who would win or how long it would take the two to start dating. They decided both would be appropriate. 

[emy-loves-you]

Sanders Sides AU-gust Day 1: Fantasy

Fae!Patton x Knight!Roman

Patton POV, Royality with background Analogical

Masterlist | Day 2

In the Kingdom of Brillare, it was not uncommon to hear stories of the fae. Some believed them to be just that: stories. Little tales to tell children before bedtime. Some did not believe in them, but still followed the tradition of deterring bad fae. It was not strange to see St John’s Wort or Yarrow growing in the windowsill of a family with a newborn. Or to see iron runes around a doorway, even decades after humans lose the ability to read them. The more superstitious would leave offerings in their yard and carry daisy petals in their pockets.

The small village of Fiore was not superstitious in the slightest. With a population of less than 60, Fiore didn’t have much access to Fae tales. They planted whatever flowers they pleased, regardless of whether or not it attracted or deterred Fae. They stayed clear of mushroom circles and flower fields, not because they feared of fae hiding there, but because they were too busy working to keep their village afloat. There were far more dangerous things hiding in the woods.

But if you were to walk past the village and into the fields, you would notice things. Like how some of the mushrooms were pulled out of the ground, preventing them from forming full fairy circles. How the flowers were sparse in all but one area. How at night the fireflies would stay away from that area of the field, yet there would always be a pale blue light somewhere in the field. If someone with knowledge of the unknown were to see the light, they would recognize it for what it was: magic.

Because living in the field of flowers was a tiny fairy named Patton. Patton was a tiny fae, only a few inches tall. But that didn’t mean that he was weak. What Patton lacked in size, he gained in magic. Patton considered himself the silent protector of Fiore. Or, one of the protectors of Fiore. Sure, the other protector knew nothing of Patton’s existence, but it was okay. After all, it was considered wrong for Fae to interact with humans as equals. Fae were superior in terms of magic and cunning, so it was seen as obscene to be friends with humans, much less want to protect them. But Patton wasn’t like most Fae.

That’s why Patton lived alone, in his own tulip on the outskirts of a human village. That’s why Patton destroyed the other Fairy circles. Sure, Patton was alone- an extremely uncommon thing for Fae- but the humans were his to protect. And Patton would lay down his life for every single human in this village.

Patton was extremely grateful that the village did not believe in fairies. That meant that every night Patton could wander the village as he pleased. He blessed the plants to have a fruitful harvest. He soothed the children who were suffering through nightmares. He blessed the newborns with gifts of strength and wit and heart.

(Sometimes, a traveler or two would visit for the night. They would always warn the village of the nasty fae who cursed innocents and stole children. The villagers would always respond in disbelief. Patton would always be sure to hide in his home for a few nights, just in case.)

Now, Patton promised himself that he would not develop attachments to the humans. He lived much longer than any of them could ever dream of living; it would only break his heart to grow attached. But Patton could not lie. He did have a few humans that had wormed their way into his heart. Three, in fact. It didn’t help that they were the only three that dared to wander into Patton’s flower field.

The first one was Logan. Logan was only 10 summers old. Logan was the son of a farmer and a carpenter, but all he wished to do was read and watch the stars. Every morning, Logan would be found reading a book under the old Hawthorn tree between the village and the field. Patton wished he could read the odd human language, if only so he could know what Logan found so fascinating. Sometimes, a village elder would come by and discuss things with Logan. Logan liked to use words that Patton didn’t understand, but it still made Patton happy to listen in. Some nights, Logan would sneak out of the village and into the flower field. He would lie there for hours, talking to himself about the different constellations in the night sky. Some even had stories behind them, which Logan would tell as one might speak about a deity. Patton would be in awe for the whole night, watching as the fireflies lit up the emotions on Logan’s face. Sometimes, he imagined that Logan was telling him those stories. And every sunrise that Logan went to leave, Patton fought the urge to speak out. Patton sometimes wished that he could compel the stars themselves, if only so Logan could stay and tell him more about them.

Next was Virgil. Virgil was not born in the village. He was found 5 winters ago on a hunting trip through the forest. Patton was surprised to learn that the child was 7 summers old at the time. He was smaller than Logan, and he was only 5! Speaking of Logan, Patton was pretty sure that the two had a crush on each other. It was so sweet to see the two of them interact, blushing the entire time. Virgil sometimes journeyed with Logan to the flower field. Sometimes Virgil would come on his own, voicing his concerns to the wind. About how he wasn’t good enough, and that the villagers shouldn’t waste their resources taking care of him. Patton made sure to use whatever magic he could to comfort Virgil on those nights. Sometimes he would control a frog or rabbit to go and cheer Virgil up.

Virgil preferred to wear larger clothing, even during the summer months. He was still small after years of living in the village, but he still helped in any way that he could. Virgil proved to be an excellent climber, able to get in places that others couldn’t reach. He would help set traps in the winter and pick fruit in the summer. He also had a knack for finding things (Patton may have helped in that department). If anything (or anyone) was lost, Virgil could find it. Virgil was actually the one to find Roman.

Roman was the third human to worm their way into Patton’s heart. It was odd, simply because it was different when compared to Logan or Virgil. Patton assumed that if he were to have any young, he would love them as he loved Logan and Virgil. Roman, however, was different. For one, he was older than Virgil. He looked similar in age to Thomas, one of the farmers, who Patton knew was 28 summers old. Virgil had brought Roman to the village one day, an arrow lodged into his shoulder. Apparently, Roman was a knight from Rosso, the capital of Brillare. Roman was sent to scout the trading route between Brillare and Giallo (Brillare’s neighboring country and ally) when he was attacked by bandits. The villagers quickly patched Roman up and he stayed for a week before leaving back for Russo. Apparently Roman had grown attached to Fiore because he would always travel there whenever possible. It was not uncommon to see people tidying up the village for the knight’s return. Every time Roman visited, he would bring gifts and tell stories of his adventures throughout the kingdom. He would also tell stories of myths and legends. Patton was surprised that none of Roman’s stories contained fae. Perhaps humanity’s knowledge of Fae has dwindled since the last time Patton left this village.

It wasn’t until Roman’s most recent trip to Fiore that Patton realized why his feelings for Roman were so odd. Roman had visited the flower field just before sunset, just as he did every time he visited Fiore. Roman sat in the middle of the field, just a few feet from Patton’s home. Roman liked to sit there until well after the sunset and sing. It was apparently a tradition he had with his mother that he wanted to continue.

Roman had the most beautiful voice. In Patton’s opinion, at least. Patton could lie there forever, just listening to Roman’s voice. Sometimes he sang happy, joyful tunes. Other times the night was filled with tales of sorrow. Every time, Patton would try and commit every song to memory, so that he could quietly hum along the next time Roman sang it. In Roman’s most recent visit, however, he didn’t sing about joy or sorrow. Instead, he sang about something else. It wasn’t until well after Roman left that Patton realized what Roman was singing about: Love.

Patton hadn’t thought about love in a LONG time. Sure, he had a mate many years ago, but they disagreed on how humans should be treated, so they separated pretty quickly. And Patton had seen the love blossom between humans, but he never thought about Roman loving another human.

It hurt. The thought of Roman loving someone hurt Patton in a way he didn’t expect. Humans were supposed to love other humans, while fairies loved other fairies. It was an extremely simple concept, but it still made Patton wince in pain at the thought. Patton didn’t realize how attached he was to Roman until now.

Patton was in love with Roman. It was the truth, plain and simple. And Roman was in love with someone else. Roman would eventually get married and never come back. Logan and Virgil would grow old and die. And Patton would be alone. Again. Like he always was.

So, Patton made a plan. He gathered ingredients and made himself a potion. It wouldn’t be a permanent potion (the ingredients to make that were much more difficult to come by) but it would allow Patton to fulfill his dreams before being subjected to heartache. Once the potion was fully brewed, Patton waited until the day Roman was expected to arrive.

Patton panted as he headed towards the road that led to the village. He was carrying the potion in a rose petal to keep it fresh, but it put a lot of strain on his arms and wings. Once he reached the road, Patton searched for a suitable place to hide. He eventually found a boulder along down the road. Patton made sure that he wouldn’t be spotted by any travelers before downing the potion. It was extremely bitter and made Patton’s insides twist uncomfortably, but Patton made sure that he downed the entire potion.

Patton bit back a scream. His insides felt like they were on fire and his skin felt like it was tearing itself apart. Patton layed there for several hours, unsure of if the potion was working or if he was dying. Eventually, the fire died down to a dull ache and Patton was able to open his eyes. The first thing he realized was that his vision was too blurry to see. Patton thought back to the glass contraptions that Logan wore and did his best to replicate them through magic. Once Patton had the contraption on (“glasses,” if his memory was correct) he then noticed that the potion had worked. Gone were his blue skin and wings. Instead, Patton’s skin was pale and his back was bare. He appeared to be just a few inches shorter than he remembered Roman being, instead of the few inches that he normally stood at.

For all intents and purposes, Patton looked like a human. Patton giggled, doing a small shimmy before realizing that he wasn’t wearing any human clothes. He felt himself blush as he conjured some new clothes. The pants were a little tight and the shirt almost showed off his navel, but it was good for Patton’s first summoning attempt. Besides, the clothes (along with Patton’s human form) would only last for three days, which was plenty of time for Patton to get over his feelings for the humans. His plan was simple: interact with the humans that he considered his family, convince Logan and Virgil to get together, find out who Roman’s love is, get over his crush on Roman and parental attachment to Logan and Virgil, convince the other villagers to install anti-fairy measurements, then leave and never return.

Patton stood up on shaky feet. It was a weird feeling to walk. Usually, at least half of Patton’s weight was supported by his wings. He hadn’t fully realized how much easier that made walking until now. Patton kept tripping and stumbling every few feet. It reminded him of when Logan was just learning to walk.

Patton shook his head, easily dismissing the thought. Today was not the day to reminisce. He could do that after sunset on the third day, when he would be long gone.

Patton suddenly felt arms around him and something near his neck. For humans, the metal would be cold but even without touching him Patton could feel the heat of the blade. Iron.

“Well, well, well.” The man purred, dragging Patton down the road, away from the village. “Look what we have here.” Patton didn’t recognize the man’s voice, so he wasn’t from the village. Didn’t Roman say there were bandits along this trail? God, this was a terrible idea. “You’ll pay quite nicely.”

Patton shuddered at the man’s breath against his neck. Pay? “I-I don’t have any money.” Patton said. He wasn’t really shocked to feel the magic in his voice. Without a name to work with, the magic wouldn’t do much other than preventing Patton from lying.

The man laughed. “Oh sweety, I wasn’t talkin’ about money.” Patton chose to say silent, not really wanting to know what the man was talking about.

The man dragged him off the road towards a small campsite. There were two other men there. One of them looked at Patton in a way that made him uncomfortable. Another whistled. “Damn, Rodger. Got yourself a real gem there, didn’t ya?” Patton shivered as the man’s name washed across his skin. It wasn’t enough to control the man, but it could prove useful.

Rodger laughed. “I was thinking he could get us a good amount at the next trade. If not, we could always have some fun with him.” The men laughed, and Patton wished that he hadn’t gone through with this.

Suddenly one of the men fell over, a dagger in their side. The others quickly tensed up, searching their surroundings. Patton felt the blade touch his skin and barely stopped himself from gasping at the pain. The man who whistled yelled out. “Who’s there? Show yourself!” A man walked through the treeline, shocking Patton. Roman!

Roman tsked as he walked towards the fire. Patton whimpered as the iron blade dug a little deeper into his neck. Roman stopped moving forward, but continued to tsk. “I was wondering where the three of you had ran off to. Now, if you let go of that poor gentleman there, I’ll make sure that your cell is nice and cozy.”

The man that wasn’t holding Patton charged at Roman, pulling out his dagger. Roman quickly pulled out his sword and began to duel. The fight didn’t last long (it was a dagger against a sword, what did you think would happen?) and soon the man was on the ground, bleeding out from the gash in his side. Roman approached Patton and Rodger, his sword tinted red. Patton felt the blade dig a little deeper and did the first thing that came to mind.

“RODGER!” Since the name wasn’t given to him by Rodger, the magic did little more than make him freeze up. But that was enough. Patton quickly elbowed the man in the gut, ignoring the way the iron blade cut across his skin. He quickly grabbed Rodger’s hand and used it to plunge the knife into his own neck. Rodger let out a silent scream before slumping over, lifeless.

Patton panted a little before his actions caught up with him. Patton just killed a human, something that he swore he would never do. Patton was suddenly on his knees, vomiting in the bushes next to him. His human-looking body had almost nothing in it, so Patton was mainly dry-heaving.

There was suddenly a hand on Patton’s back as he heaved. “It’s alright,” Roman said, rubbing small circles between Patton’s shoulder blades. “It’s not your fault. It was self-defense.”

Eventually, Patton stopped heaving. And he slumped forward. Roman quickly caught him. “Woah there, friend. Let’s get you somewhere safe.”

Patton felt his cheeks warm up and his stomach lurch as Roman picked him up bridal style. They were both silent as Roman carried Patton to the giant creature he liked to ride on. Patton couldn’t remember the species name at the moment, but it was still just as majestic as always. Roman carefully positioned both of them on the creature before slowly heading towards Fiore.

Around halfway there, Patton convinced himself to speak. “Thank you. For saving me.”

“It was no issue. Did they do anything to you.”

Patton shook his head. “Other than the cut on my neck, no. They had just found me before you showed up.”

Roman was silent for a moment before he asked another question. “Why did you yell ‘Rodger’?”

Patton worded his response carefully, not wanting the truth magic to give away that he was fae. “That was the man’s name. I heard one of the other men call him it. I was hoping that yelling it would distract him.”

Roman chuckled. “That must have taken a lot of courage. I’m impressed.”

Patton blushed. “Thank you, Sir Knight.”

Roman was silent for a moment before responding. “My name is Roman.”

Patton barely fought back the gasp at being given Roman’s name. His skin felt like it was on fire again, but this time it was extremely pleasurable. It had been many years since Patton was last given a human name. “P-Patton.” He eventually stuttered out.

Roman’s hands gripped the reins tightly. “Patton.” He said, testing the name on his tongue. Patton had to resist the urge to shudder at the sound. Only in Patton’s wildest fantasies did he imagine Roman using his name. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Patton,” Roman said softly, his voice lower than normal.

Patton felt his blush return tenfold. Getting over his crush would be a lot harder than he initially thought.

[toastedricecakes]

Q: How Many Mosquitoes Does It Take To Kill A Human Being?

(Based on episode 45 of The Magnus Archives Podcast: Blood Bag)

The adult human body contains 4.5 to 5.5 liters of blood. Losing half of the blood in your body is a death sentence and pretty much unrecoverable. So about 2.25 to 2.75 liters a person.  

Now, mosquitoes drink about 0.000005 liters of blood each. Taking these numbers into account, we can come up with the following equation to calculate how many mosquitoes would be needed to suck the blood from an adult human body:

(Mosquitoes) x 0.000005 = 2.25 to 2.75

That would leave us with a minimum to maximum mosquito amount: 450,000 to 550,000

An average of 500,000 mosquitoes would be enough to kill your average healthy adult human.  

"But wait!" I hear you cry after overcoming the horrible vision of that many mosquitoes descending upon some poor helpless soul, "There's no way that many mosquitoes can fit on someone! Magnus episode 45: Blood Bag is theoretically impossible. "

And to that I say "Yeah, actually. I hadn't thought about that. Damn,"

Let's discuss how much space these mosquitoes take up, to see just how impossible this situation is.

For the sake of simplicity, we're going to be using measurements from your average forest mosquito/(Asian) tiger mosquito (Aedes Albopictus), which are an invasive species in Europe due to transportation of goods and most likely the tested species of mosquitoes in the Magnus Archive episode. They are about 2 to 10 mm length, depending on environmental factors, which is a fucking bonkers range and makes these calculations much harder. We're going to stay in the highs (4-10 mm) because 1. The non-bloodsucking male mosquitoes are 20% smaller, and we're purely focusing on females. 2. Environmental factors play a big role into size, and these mosquitoes were living in luxury at the lab with optimal conditions and regular feedings.

So that leaves us with this equation:

(Mosquitoes) x 4 to 10 square mm = total area taken up by mosquitoes

So if we have 500,000 mosquitoes, that would be a minimum to maximum of...

2,000,000 to 5,000,000 square mm. 2,000 to 5,000 meters

In comparison, the average human being has about 2 square meters of skin.

And this doesn’t even take into account the air between the mosquitoes and the expanding of the mosquitoes' abdomens after drinking blood.

Can we possibly have the mosquitoes drink more than average? What happens if they drink more than the 0.000005 liters listed? Could we reduce the number of mosquitoes needed?

Over 50 years ago, Robert Gwadz discovered that by making an incision in the central nerve cord of a mosquito, you could cut off the nerve signal that makes mosquitoes stop drinking blood. By undergoing this procedure, the mosquitoes can drink four times their own body weight!

Unfortunately, this also makes their abdomen pop, subsequently killing the mosquito...

So how can this still be possible?

I present my theory: The Mosquitoes On Stacks System. MOSS, for short.

MOSS goes like this: A layer of mosquitoes covers the person and starts drinking. While they are drinking, another layer lands on the first layer and starts sucking from the first layer of mosquitoes' abdomens. And then another layer. And then another. And then another. Until all mosquitoes have drunken their fill.

…. Unfortunately, mosquitoes have never been known to drink from each other. Also, when mosquitoes drink from other insects, it can often times be lethal, as insects are typically much smaller from mosquito’s usual victims: mammals

Also, I’ve just realized that it’s incredibly unlikely that the scientists had anything even close to the 500,000 mosquitoes needed.

Well, fine! Whatever! It was a cool idea, I guess!

You know what? Fuck it! They’re magical mosquitoes! Supernatural mosquitoes that are bigger and more violent and can suck blood more! Yup, just like the worms, they are faster and hungrier and they don’t care about physical limitations given by theoretical science.

Look, kids. The Magnus Archives is a tragedy, but it’s also unrealistic. It has people stealing each other’s bones and still moving around while being devoured by worms and weird eye people that cause apocalypses. It’s a show based on a theme of supernatural horror, and it was made for three purposes: 1. To be scary 2. To tell an emotionally moving story 3. To teach the listeners about understanding fear.

So the mosquitoes? They don’t have to make sense and be put up against scientific tests and equations. Blood Bag was a scary story, and it was written well, and it helped further the plot and was an interesting concept.  

I enjoyed that episode, and so I wanted to investigate further. But I wasn’t investigating in order to criticize the writing. I was investigating because it was a fun concept and I wanted to explore the connotations of murderous mosquitoes. I love using theoretical science to answer the most bat shit crazy questions, it gave me a fun project to work on during an emotionally taxing quarantine.

So, the moral of the story?

The real murderous mosquitoes were the friends we made along the way.

[eastertag]

@fallenfurther gift for @willow-salix

Gizmo and Gadget

Prompt: Scott with a sugar glider

******

The seatbelt was barely containing Gordon and Scott was starting to feel a bit less comfortable with the idea of being responsible for the naughty thirteen-year-old. Scott’s eyes went back to the road, his grip on the steering wheel a little too tight as the seat squeaked beside him.

“Turn left, Scott! The Hamilton Centre is left!”

Scott sighed as he flipped the indicator. The navigation system was fully capable of getting them there on time. Dad was meant to have taken Gordon but something urgent had popped up and seeing as Scott had just turned eighteen, he now classed as an adult, so was sent to accompany Gordon in his place. How Dad thought Scott could keep Gordon out of trouble he didn’t know. He had tried to convince Dad to send Grandma but apparently that wasn’t going to happen either. So, it was Scott who had to take the teen to the animal centre. Trust Gordon to win first prize in the Discovery Channel’s kids competition. He was barely a kid now! Though you won’t know from his behaviour, or height. A smile crossed Scott’s lips as he stopped at a junction. Gordon was adamant he was going to have a major growth spurt now he was a teenager and would soon be able to look him in the eye. Scott couldn’t deny the fact that his brother was likely to grow, but part of him hoped he’d stay shorter. Scott couldn’t handle Gordon’s bragging at the best of times, let alone if he ended up taller than him. The entrance for the animal rehabilitation centre came into view and Scott caught the massive grin on Gordon’s face out the corner of his eye.

Scott parked up and they both climbed out his car. Gordon ran to the back and retrieved his bag from the trunk. Part of the prize was a swim with the dolphins which couldn’t be released, and Gordon was ecstatic. Heading into the reception they were met by two keepers, who welcomed them with excitement and smiles that rivalled Gordon’s. Scott tried not to put a downer on the situation as he signed the consent forms that were passed straight to him. A quick flash of his diving licence to confirm he was eighteen and that was all that was required from him. Their guides introduced themselves as Joyce and Martin. Joyce was going to give them the tour first and the swim was going to be done by Martin after lunch. Scott followed behind Joyce and Gordon, both animated in their discussion of their favourite animals. Joyce put most her focus into Gordon, which was perfectly fine for Scott, who was happy just to listen.

The centre was large, and there were many other employees going about caring for the animals. The tour took them through the main building which housed small mammals. Then they passed the various pools and enclosures where the larger water-based mammals were kept. Scott was surprised to see so many permanent residents, many of which had injuries which stopped them from being released. The smaller permanent animals were often trained to go out in public and be ambassadors for their species, used to educate people about proper animal care and habitat protection. There was a poorly beaver, and in the aviary, there was some recuperating birds of prey, including a California Condor and a Turkey vulture. Scott was impressed by the Bald Eagle, who had a broken wing that made it unable to fly. Scott was certain Joyce was taking pity on him when she offered to let him hold the bird. He smiled and accepted the offer. A thick leather glove was placed on his hand and he tried not to be unnerved by the dead baby chick that was placed between his finger and thumb. The great bird was then brought close to him. Joyce held his hand as the bird, called George, stepped onto the glove. Scott reacted quickly, tensing his muscles against the 9 ½ pounds of bird. Joyce slowly removed her hand until he was the only one supporting its weight. Scott was very thankful for his time in the gym, as the bird shifted. George’s amber eye studied Scott with an intensity Scott wasn’t expecting. Its head was held high, showing off its brilliant white feathers, and he had to admit he was in awe of the majestic creature. Gordon pulled out his phone and snapped a few shots. George must have considered Scott to be okay as the bird bent down and ripped the head off the chick. Gordon laughed and took more pictures of the bird eating. Once the chick was devoured Joyce took George from Scott.

“Can I hold him?” Gordon asked eagerly.

“Only adults can hold the large birds, but you can hold Ruby, our red-tailed hawk.”

There was a little disappointment from Gordon, but he accepted the hawk. Scott made sure to snap pictures every time Gordon held an animal so Dad, Grandma and Alan could see. He was sure Virgil and John will be shown the pictures whether they wanted to see them or not. After the aviary it was the reptile house. This started off fine, with beetles and cockroaches, and Gordon was okay around the snakes. However, the teen froze when they came face to face with the lizards. Scott could see his brother trembling and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Joyce thankfully picked up on Gordon’s change in mood, and only gave them a quick tour, naming the various species, before moving on to the amphibians, which were more to Gordon’s liking. This completed the tour, and they were taken to the staff room where lunch was laid out. Scott tucked in gratefully, while Gordon chatted with the keepers who were more than happy to share their knowledge and experience.

It was then time for Gordon to swim with the dolphins. Scott sat at the side of the pool, camera ready, as Gordon changed. The look on Gordon’s face when the first dolphin came up to him was priceless, and Scott had to admit he was enjoying seeing his younger brother so relaxed and in his element. Joyce sat beside Scott throughout the session, and they made pleasant small talk. She turned to him as Gordon waved goodbye to the dolphins.

“I need to go check up on some of the smaller animals, would you like to join me while Gordon changes and finishes up here with Martin?”

Scott glanced back at his brother. He was behaving himself, so he should be okay to leave him with Martin.

“I’d enjoy that.”

Scott followed Joyce back to the main building and was led down a corridor to one of the small mammal rooms. They hadn’t entered this one on the tour, so Scott was a little intrigued.

“We keep some of our nocturnal animals in this room.”

Joyce headed straight for metal cage, filled with ropes and soft pouches. It was so unlike the other cages they had seen, which contained habitats which mimicked the animal’s natural environment. This one appeared entirely man-made and artificial.

“I’ve built up quite the bond with two of the four sugar gliders we have here. They are all ex-pets that were abandoned and found in very poor condition. We use these guys to show what happens when you don’t give animals the right care.”

Scott stood back as Joyce opened the cage and picked out one of the pouches. She clutched the pouch carefully in her hands and brought it over to him. Scott put Joyce in her twenties, but her excited smile made her look younger. It was cute.

“This is Gadget and Gizmo.”

Two small faces peered up at him with the biggest eyes. Their eyes were so prominent but seemed to fit their little long faces. They both had a brown stripe that went over their head and down their face to their pink whiskered noses. A lopsided smile came to his face as Scott peered at the small creatures.

“These guys are brothers. The other two, Attenborough and Grylls, are the original two. Attenborough, Atty as we call him, is eleven years old, his mate Elisa passed away two years ago. So, when Grylls needed rescuing we tried putting them together and they got on, despite the fact that we think Grylls is only four years old. We only got these two last year, they were malnourished and are small for their age. They’ve been thriving since though. Hold out your arm and we see if they like you.”

Scott didn’t quite know what to expect but tentatively held out his arm. Joyce held the pouch to his wrist and gently squeezed the bottom. Suddenly a little creature jumped onto his sleeve. It was so small, its tail wrapping around his arm for security. The stripe on this one’s head continued down its back, fading into the paler fur. Scott could feel the sharp claws through the fabric of his shirt.

“That’s Gizmo.”

Gizmo suddenly climbed up Scott’s arm and paused on his shoulder. He couldn’t help but laugh. Who’d have thought he’d end up with a little glider on his shoulder! He turned and glanced at the mammal. He could almost feel its fur against his chin, it was so close to his face. As he studied Gizmo, Scott felt a weight and more claws in his arm. Obviously, Gadget didn’t want to stay in the pouch alone. A glance at his wrist and there was the other sugar glider, the same size but with a slightly different pattern to Gizmo. Scott held still, not knowing how to react to the small creatures. Could you stroke them? Or did they just sit there.

“Looks like they like you.” Joyce smiled. She came closer, a mealworm in her fingers. “Good boy, Gizmo.”

She offered the glider the mealworm, which it took in its small hands. It greedily ate it up, small flakes of the worm falling into his shirt. The claws that clasped the worm were so long that Scott wasn’t surprised he could feel them through the fabric of his shirt. A mealworm was given to Gadget, who made the same mess. While Scott was admiring Gizmo, the sugar glider decided to move. It darted behind Scott, climbing along his back. As Gizmo hung off Scott’s back Gadget clambered up his arm and climbed along his front. The sugar glider paused on his left pocket, one of his hands on the edge. Scott could imagine the glider looked like a living emblem from the front. Gadget then stuck his head in the pocket, before deciding it was safe and clambering in. Scott felt the little warm body shifting against his chest. Peering down, the little head looked up at him. Gadget appeared to be quite content in there.

Joyce had turned to Gizmo and Gadget’s cage, replacing food and doing some spot cleaning, so hadn’t seen Gadget’s antics. Scott watched as she moved to another cage while Gizmo moved across his back to his other shoulder. It hadn’t registered that he was still holding his arm out stiffly. Scott turned back to Gizmo only to be met with a close up of his furry behind and tail. Scott heard the click of a cage door from where Joyce was, however before he could turn his head, Gizmo jumped from his shoulder. Shocked, Scott turned, scared that he was about to lose the little creature. The sugar glider, however, was perfectly happy, clinging to the bars of another cage. Scott watched, still panicking, as the glider quickly climbed along and up the cage. Without knowing quite what to do, Scott cupped his hands together and tried to grab it. His hands clasped around its small body, only for it to slip through his fingers and clamber away. He kept at it, with each attempt failing, until he heard a chuckle from behind him. He froze, before twisting on the spot. The worry in him dissipated at the sight of Joyce laughing. There was a sugar glider clinging to her chest, while another looked on from the cage behind her.

“It’s okay, Scott. They will jump from cage to cage. They can’t get out the room and should be perfectly safe.”

Scot chuckled, and as if to prove a point, Gizmo jumped onto his head. The claws dug into his scalp as the glider moved to the top of his head. Scott winced a little, then sighed. The creature would have messed his hair up. Joyce was chortling now but managed to whip out her phone and point it at him.

“These guys are okay with hair gel, right?” Scott questioned, suddenly aware of how much he had massaged into his hair that morning. He’d hate the poor thing to get sick because it chose the wring head to jump on.

“I’ll give him a quick wipe over.”

Joyce came over and retrieved Gizmo. She took a cloth from the side, and gave him a quick rub down, causing a round of barks from the animal. Joyce let Gizmo cling to her, before she scooped up one of the others and placed him on Scott.

“This is Atty.”

Atty was a darker brown than the brothers and seemed quite happy to just hang from Scott. As he was admiring Atty, another glider jumped onto his arm and quickly ran up to his shoulder.

“That one is Grylls.”

Grylls didn’t stay on Scott’s shoulder for long, with Scott only just catching a glimpse of a tail, before feeling the glider climb down his back. He could feel the glider swinging against his back, on the edge of his shirt. Again, Scott was worried about the little guy falling, however, he soon felt Grylls climb back up before jumping onto the cage behind him. It was an odd feeling, the way the pressure on his back increased before the jump, then was gone suddenly. Scott peered over his shoulder in time to see Grylls jump to the next cage along. Joyce was quickly behind him, pouch in hand, and managed to coax him back into it.

“I think we’d better put these guys away and go find your brother.”

Joyce held the pouch containing Grylls up to Attenborough, who happily jumped into it, and snuggled up with the younger glider. They were put back in their cage. A small chase occurred with Gizmo, who was now climbing all over his own cage, but soon he too was safely back in his pouch. The last one left was Gadget. Scott peeked into his pocket and smiled at creature who still looked very content.

“Now, where did Gadget go?”

As if he knew he was being called, Gadget wiggled and poked his head out Scott’s pocket.

“Now that’s cute!” Joyce smile, retrieving her phone again and snapping a picture. “Mind if I use these for a presentation, I’m doing it in two weeks’ time? Also, what’s you email so I can forward them to you?”

“Sure.” Scott rattled off his email and Joyce put it in her phone, before offering the pouch to Gadget who happily joined his brother. The pouch was hung back in the cage and they left them to sleep. Scott followed Joyce back out of the main building and down the path towards the dolphin enclosure. They hadn’t got very far before a familiar voice called out.

“Scott! Scott! Look what I’ve got!”

Scott turned to his brother, who was grinning from ear to ear, and them followed the lead he was holding. At the end of the lead was a white fluffy three-legged animal, but it wasn’t a dog. A quizzical look crossed Scott’s face.

“That’s Miyuki, our Arctic fox. She had a broken leg that got infected. We had to amputate it, but she’s more than capable without it.”

“Isn’t she great, Scott? I’m walking a fox!”

Scott laughed and took a photo. Dad had been right when he told Scott that he was going to enjoy himself. Getting out with Gordon may not be on the top of Scott’s to do list, but this had been worth in. He swiped his message tab, located the email, and saved the photos. A smile crossed his face at the sight of Gizmo in his head. Walking to stand beside Gordon, Scott held out his phone for Gordon to see.

“I made friends with Gizmo.”

Gordon’s laugh filled the air and Scott couldn’t stop himself from joining in.

[watchdogg]

A Guide: Raw Feeding for Dogs

Don’t have time to make BARF? Not sold on it? If you want to know what dry foods are best check this out.

What’s on the menu? BARF (Biologically Appropriate Raw Food). This recipe is based off of Dr. Ian Billinghurst’s own recipe provided in his book Give Your Dog a Bone. Great read, would recommend.

However, there are a couple ingredients he discusses which have been recently proven as poor dietry choices for dogs. For example, he speaks of the inclusion of milk and garlic which have been discovered, through scientific study, to make dogs quite ill. Therefore the recipe I have written below excludes any ingredients I have found research on that are detrimental to your dog’s health.

BARF is essentially everything you would find in a grain-free dry dog food, but fresh!

BARF = 50% green mix + 50% meat (30% mince + 20% offal)!

DAILY INTAKE = 60% BARF + 40% meaty bone

I DO NOT APPROVE of the Canine Ancestral Diet or Prey Model diet, which is 80% meat. I have a seperate blog post discussing why (click here to find out more)!

EVERYTHING YOU MAKE MUST BE BLENDED TOGETHER INTO A CONSOLIDATED MUSH! Your dog has to eat everything, you must not give it the choice to pick certain things out of their bowl, it all has to go in their tummy! This is how we get to deficiencies!

I will post a seperate description of my exact routine, and how I measure out everything my girl needs as an example so you have something to compare to.

DISCLAIMER: If your vet has told you that your pet MUST eat a prescription diet due to health condition/allergy, please listen to them. Every health issue has causes and triggers, there are many, and I cannot possibly cover all of them in this post. Does this mean there aren't raw options for dogs with health issues or allegeries? No. There certainly are. For example, if your dog is allergic to wheat they can go on a wheat-free dry food OR BARF. But I cannot be responsible for your failings in proper research. SO, this means that if you have a dog with congenital issues, like kidney problems, please research into what that means before going against a prescription dry or wet food diet.

Appropriate vegetables include:

- Silver beet

- Bok choy

- Celery

- Carrots

- Sugar beet

Appropriate fruits include:

- Apples

- Oranges

- Blueberries

- Pears

REMINDER: you absolutely MUST vitamise fruits and vegetables. Your dog does not have molars like that of a horse for example, they cannot grind fibre, they use their molars for snapping large food items into smaller chunks. Herbivores chew for a reason. Plant cells are surrounded by a cellulose, and most guts do not have the enzymes required to dissolve cell walls, hence chewing. DOGS ALSO CANNOT DIGEST CELLULOSE, and they do not have the mechanics required to break down plant matter into a digestible form. I learned the function of teeth during my studies into paleontology, where dental analysis is vital. (1)

SUPPLEMENTS: TO BE BLENDED INTO YOUR BARF MIX 

the listed supplements contain the vitamins and omegas your dog needs to thrive. These vitamins already naturally exist in the vegatables and meats listed. HOWEVER, if your dog is not eating some kind of fish every day for example, then they need to be digesting at least flaxseed oil to make up for this. This is just one example. It is important to fill in any possible gaps, and these supplements make sure there aren’t any ;)

If you are feeding your dog fish oil you MUST also feed vitamin E oil, the dog’s body will use up stores of Vitamin E to process fish oil which oxidises very easily! If you are using one of the below supplements, you do not need to use fish oil. If you are using a supplement like megaderm or Omega blend, follow the directions on the bottle! So, this means don’t go adding it when you are making BARF, add upon feeding it to your dog.

SUPPLEMENTS INCLUDE:

- Megaderm (CONTAINS: vitamin B7, B6, A, E, omega 6&3) dosage instructions on bottle (can be bought on PetCircle)

OR

- Vets All Natural Omega Blend (CONTAINS: flaxseed oil (omega-6 and omega-3 fatty acids), shark liver oil (omega-3 and vitamin A), sunflower oil (omega-6) and wheat germ oil (omega-3)) (can be bought on PetCircle)

OR

- just straight flaxseed oil (human-grade is the same stuff) 2 or 3 desert spoons

OTHER SUPPLEMENTS:

- Kelp powder (2-3 tsp) (contains: 60 different minerals and vitamins and 21 amino acids)

- Green tripe (contains: probiotics, essential fatty acids and digestive enzymes)

- Sardines (great for coat health)

- Tongue (fatty, good for active dogs)

- Green lipped muscle (aimed towards joint health, good for large breeds)

- Liver (contains vitamin A, B vitamins, iron, copper, zinc, essential fatty acids) 2 tblsp per day is recommended amount for medium dogs (I buy a pack of chicken livers (500g) and chuck it into the barf mix. This works out to be 17g perday)

DO NOT OVER FEED FATTY ACID SUPPLEMENTATION, keep to the recommended dose! Large quantities can cause Seborrhea oleosa (bad dandruff). It is possible to have too much of a good thing.

It is really important you do not overdose on any supplement. For example, glucosamine is great for old joints but it is also rated a top poison for dogs because of its potential for overdosing. (2)

WHAT MEAT AND ORGANS ARE BEST?

MEAT SHOULD NOT BE COOKED when fed to dogs. This decreases protein digestability and destroys essential amino acids such as lysine and methionine. That being said, meat is NOT a complete food, it is deficient in a lot of vitamins dogs need! So veggies are still a must.

Mince is great, but if you can find mince with ground bone included that would be even better. If you are living in Melbourne, The Saltiest Dog (in Thornbury) is a great store to visit to purchase such a thing. Try to stay away from ‘pet meats’, like those sold in Woolworths or Coles. They contain harmful preservatives (3). The cleaner/more human grade the better. Research into local raw food stores around you and ask about the meat they get in/what if any preservatives are in their meat.

Kangaroo is an environmentally friendly choice! They do not rely on the production of grain to survive, and they are indigenous to the land (their feet don’t compact soil and turn it infertile). It is the most humane way of harvesting red meat if you think about their lives up until the point of death.

The leaner the meat the better! Kangaroo is very lean! Turkey is another great option, but if you are afraid of salmonella, stay away from poultry. Variability of protein is not as important as what parts of the body you are feeding your dog. They need muscle, bone, and offal (tongue, heart, liver, etc.)!

I generally go by: 30% mince+bone & 20% offal.

BONES:

NEVER FEED COOKED BONES! They will splinter and cause internal injury.

Is it dangerous to feed raw bones? NO!

It is imperitive in the BARF diet that your dog is getting some kind of whole bone to eat EVERY DAY. But don’t be silly about it, think about your dog’s size. If you have a mini poodle, you should be giving it chicken necks, not beef weight bearing bones. The bones you give should be soft enough so that they don’t chip your dog’s teeth. This also means NO weight bearing bones till the dog is over 6 months old.

I have talked to customers at Petbarn who just happen to have silly dogs who won’t chew bones at all, and instead swallow them whole. If this is the case, please stick to turkey/duck/chicken necks. These are harder to choke on beause the bones are so tiny. Once again, if you fear potential bacteria or worm risks, freeze your meat before feeding (this will kill a lot of what you are scared of). DO NOT GIVE YOUR DOG FROZEN BONES, they will chip a tooth.

Bones act like fibre. They help everything move along in their intestines. They also contain vitamins and proteins they need. You can learn more about bone benefits in Dr. Ian Billinghurst’s book Give Your Dog a Bone.

I give my dogs a bone of some description every morning. Generally, it is a chicken carcass and once a week they get a roo rib or beef vertebrae (you can buy a bag of 'broth bones' from Woolworths which are great) to really get their teeth into.

It is really important that your dog is chewing on something every day. Whether it be a bone or a Kong/dental toy. It is imperitive for mental and dental health. The action of chewing for a dog is the equivelant of a human doing a sudoku or crossword.

HOW MUCH TO FEED:

This model is based off of the Raw&Fresh model which you can find on their website (https://rawandfresh.com.au/collections/treats), this also happens to be where I buy my bones from.

Essentially, you pick whether to feed 2-5% based on your dogs age and activity level. For example, senior dogs need to be eating more protein and fat because they lose muscle mass faster. A dog who has a high activity level needs more energy and a dog who is overweight should be fed less.

Generally, they should be getting 2-3%.

Whatever you decide on, this should be split into two meals. You'll find that two meals per day reduces their scavenging behaviour. I tend to feed the bone proportion in the morning and the patty mix at night.

The key to feeding your dog a raw diet is to WATCH. Watch your dog's weight. It is as simple as that. Watch how they put on weight, if they are becoming too skinny or overweight. Watch and adjust accordingly.

KEEP THIS FORUMLA IN MIND:

BARF = 50% green mix + 50% meat (30% mince + 20% offal)!

DAILY INTAKE = 60% BARF + 40% meaty bone

FEEDING LARGE BREEDS:

- BARF = time and money. Sometimes it can be unrealistic when you have a large breed.

- It can be a lot preparing a batch of food for a large breed, which can potentially be up to 2kg per day depending on how big the dog is. Ideally you would want to be making a batch that lasts the month, which we can individually pack and freeze. But with larger breeds that can get difficult when you are busy or you have a tiny freezer.

- Luckily their daily intake is not 100% BARF

- My GSD, Juni, requires 600g per day as a 30kg dog with a medium activity level. That means I'd need to make 18kg of BARF to last her a month. Yikes.

- I have found two ways around this:

- First of all, 600g is her daily intake, which means a bit of that (around 250g) can be meaty bone.

- I also cut some of her food with Ziwi Peak. This is an air-dried (NOT BAKED) dog food. Once the bone has been eaten, that leaves ~350g left to go.

- Her weight requires 350g of Ziwi Peak per day according to their feeding guide. Therefore, she gets 150g of Ziwi Peak and 150g of BARF

- I increase her BARF intake depending on the bone she gets

- The end result is I only have to make 4.6kg for the month if my life is turning out to be hectic and busy. Not to mention freezer space being an issue.

- When I find I have more time, this increases to 9kg and I don't need to feed Ziwi Peak at all.

1. You can learn more about dental function in mammals here:Smith, Kathleen, Wall, Christine. (2005). Ingestion in Mammals. In Encyclopedia of Life Sciences (Vol. 10, pp. 272-277). John Wiley Sons, Ltd. https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Ingestion-in-Mammals-Wall-Smith/596099f8125d6ee16f40c858fe144613a225ae14

2. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/42594946_Accidental_overdosage_of_ joint_supplements_in_dogs

Nobles IJ, Khan S. Multiorgan dysfunction syndrome secondary to joint supplement overdosage in a dog. Can Vet J. 2015;56(4):361-364. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4357907/

3. https://kb.rspca.org.au/knowledge-base/are-preservatives-in-pet-food-products-a-concern/

[inyuji]

Drawn during my sick period. Caught the stronger cold, thankfully not the flu. Did I ever mention how much I love “Beastars” and can’t wait to watch it again when it hits U.S. Netflix. Because of the purely animal-based world, it brings up a lot of heavy topics that bleed heavily into the real world. So it really begged the question of seeing how my Darkwing OC Rei would fit in this universe.

I actually did have a story point for Rei getting sucked into a dimensional worm-hole that was unintentionally opened during a villain fight. Rei was closest to Gosalyn, who was close to being sucked into that wormhole. Being unable to fully pull Gosalyn out, she did the next desperate thing; switch places while throwing Gosalyn out of harm’s way. So far, I’d say this is the 4th or 5th dimension. Each dimension is either close enough to her original, or can potentially lead her closer. Darkwing and some colleagues are able to time and activate these “jumps” long enough to help Rei find her way home. Each jump is entirely random, due to difference in time.

In this dimension, Rei was found and taken in by Legosi’s grandfather. After hearing stories about his family, Rei decided to visit Legosi at school. This is recently after the events of season 1. Legosi is shocked about the temporary sibling, and panicking about how to go about baby-sitting a small, errant duck. For spoiler reasons, I’m not mentioning why he doesn’t talk to his grandpa, and warning you all that the last fourth jpeg is a major manga spoiler. Rei makes it known that she’s 13, not six, and that she’s less likely to cause a huge disruption in Legosi’s schedule. Legosi still prefers to keep Rei near him no matter what, since that’s what he thinks a big brother should do. Haru is amused and finds it sweet that he’s taking his big-brother role seriously. Rei allows this over-protective streak, sensing that Legosi is a raging storm of anxiety and insecurities. So she dedicates herself as his “therapy duck.” She benefits from shadowing him, since she can get more research on the society of this dimension, and she never says no to new knowledge.

One of the human dimensions she’s laid low in was from “Carole and Tuesday” anime. She became a fan of the music there. But she’s peeved that she can’t find an instrument her size. She doesn’t like the idea of asking Gosha for any string instrument, when he’s already bought her a flip-phone. Darkwing Prime dimension is most likely set in the 90s, so Flip-phones and smartphones are high-tech to her. She’s enjoying watching the drama club and hanging with Legosi’s dorm mates. Bill is tolerable, but she can sense he isn’t a bad tiger. Just a super-masculine meat-head. Rei prays to whatever deity or force that she doesn’t become as hormonal or angst-filled as the teenagers in this school. So far, only Legosi and Haru know that she’s an esper. Everyone thinks that Rei is just a weird duck with no sense of self-preservation, since she doesn’t cow in fear in the presence of bigger animals. Song she’s singing is “After the Fire” from “Carole and Tuesday.”

In each dimension, Rei’s body will adapt accordingly, but her esper powers are never going away, along with all of her other little quirks. So here she has to balance to having 5 fingers, but still having a duck body, that’s not quite like her original one. Every dimension has presented a different experience, so she’s started to undergo a changing phase. So she won’t be as super laidback and quiet about some things. Of course, seeing how this animal society is already on a tense tightrope, the onslaught of vibes would almost suffocate Rei at first. Then there’s the weird fact of how oddly heavy she is for a 13-year old duck. Her muscle mass practically outweighs whatever body fat she has, which explains her rather freakish strength. Downside is that she’s the odd duck that can’t swim. Mentioned in previous sketchdumps with Rei, Darkwing has strong suspicions that Rei is a mutant. Now, Rei is convinced that her 7 year amnesia is the result of a traumatic childhood being a genetic lab experiment. Of course, Rei has been careful of exposing her esper powers, but in this world, the occasional show of power is her only tool to get herself out of unfavorable situations. She’s not going to be openly freaking people out with esper powers and would prefer not to advertise that she’s an esper.

Now because I don’t want to spoil everyone of future 2nd or even 3rd season, be aware that the 4th image contains manga spoilers.

When Rei leapt into this dimension, she landed in the middle of the Dark Market, and had no idea how dangerous being a duck would be, once predators are looking to gang on you. While she could’ve dealt with this physically, the onslaught of vibes in her vicinity was enough to make her lash out in a more threatening, psychic manner. Once she was able to scare her way outside, she wandered aimlessly, and then bumped into Legosi’s grandfather, Gosha. Authorities had found Rei and immediately wanted to separate the herbivore orphan from a venomous reptile. Only for Rei to openly threaten them with her psychic powers to not get pulled back into an orphanage. The cops don’t want to deal with a potential monster and willingly let Rei stay with Gosha. Gosha doesn’t mind having to take care of her. He just wishes that Rei stop being openly threatening with sharp objects. He’s lost count of how many knives, cutters, or broken glass bottles he has confiscated. She takes high offense to the discrimination of venomous reptiles, when Gosha is just the sweetest Komodo dragon. Gosha just prefers NOT to give authorities a good excuse to put Rei into an orphanage, or worse, a lab. He still feels bad that Rei does nothing but watch tv or go to the library, not that Rei cares. She’s fine with this arrangement, not wanting to inconvenience Gosha. She gets a kick out of “Happy Happy Cooking” and other programs.

[mrneighbourlove]

Evil’s Bane: Ch 8. Looming Dread

Leere looked a round a massive red ballroom, with a large staircase leading up to more doors. There were chandeliers hanging above, and many routes that they could take. No exits outside of course. Turning to Bonegrinder, she was catching her breath with the other Mortuus. “Bonegrinder. And Hades? I’m surprised you made it here.”

"Bonegrinder?" Black approached the Anagari who was breathing hard. It was evident he was not fully healed. Hades did what he could, but it would take a while for Prama's magic to finish such horrible injuries, most of which could not be seen with the eye. The Wraith frowned, noticing how the Anagari was struggling to even stay upright. "... we need to go back. You're in bad shape."

"He has been in bad shape for a long time, Black." Bonegrinder always had that dry humor availible, despite the situation. "You will have to wait to go back. Summoning a portal is not easy work. He will have to rest some more."

“Can we wait here? What if danger makes itself known?” Bi-Hanzo asked. Grabbing his head, he shook it. Felt hot in the room. And, did he hear something in distance? Sounded like laughter. No. Must have been his imagination.

"Not unless you have readily available portal magic so we can leave." Black then stated. "If you want to go on, then be my guest. My responsibility is the princess. Not you."

"... this snake supposes that he should question where we are. There is a familiar feeling of this place... but worse than last time."

“Last time?” Leere asked.

Hades was pacing around, feeling uncertain about his surroundings. Kenshi wiped the sweat off his head, feeling sick.

"Wait... no... was that this snake or Prama?" Bonegrinder rubbed his forehead. "His memories... Prama's memories... when is where, and where is when..."

"Don't stress over it," Black knew this was not a good sign. Anymore stress, and his master's mind might snap again. Two souls in one body was really taxing and he had seen many of his master's so-called 'episodes'. The last thing the group needed was a huge blast of magic knocking everyone back and drawing the attention of Destroyer... or his minions. "We're here now. Let's focus on the here."

Leere paced, rubbing her head. There was something... bad. Something familiar in the air. And it made her feel anxious.

Kenshi suddenly looked up, feeble shock trembling in his voice. There was sweat gushing down his face now, and his widened eyes were bloodshot, as if he hadn’t slept for days. “Franeska?”

Leere and the others turned to see Kenshi suddenly running off. Bi-Hanzo was shocked by this. “Kenshi! Where are you going?!” The man chased after his fellow villager. When Kenshi reached the door, he opened it up with a kick. Inside was a small room with no natural light in the room. In that room, a little girl with her back to him facing the direct corner of the room was all that could be seen. Unnaturally she was perfectly illuminated with a bright red coat that covered her face from view. Leere looked to Black, hurrying along. Kenshi kept himself in the frame of the door from letting anyone else in.

"Don't follow after that apparition!" Black told Kenshi, sensing danger when the man ran off, but he did not chase him. He stayed with Leere. "Bonegrinder... something bad is coming, isn't it?"

"Bad doesn't even begin to describe it, Black... it's much worse than you could ever imagine."

Kenshi drew closer, relief on his face. “Franeska? It’s your father. It’s me.”

As Leere got into eyesight, all her instincts kicked in so fast she almost threw up. Memories she buried of being underwater and trapped with nightmares flooded back. She could sense the unique brand of demonic undeath now. It tastes like iron and vomit on her tongue. As her breath grew dry, and she tried to get the words out, Kenshi felt it too. “Wait...”

What turned around was no longer his daughter. A hideous monster with bone claws coming out of its hands and a disturbing contorted face of twisted flesh. With a shake of its head, as if confirming it was no longer his daughter, it stabbed those claws deep into Kenshi’s chest. Over and over it tore him slowly apart. Leere and Bi-Hanzo stepped back. From inside the room, a gargled roar echoed in its chambers. Turns out, in the dark, there was long, long tunnel that stretched far and wide. And it was filled to the brim with monsters. Leere looked to the door up the stair case, adrenaline rushing through her. “RUN!!!”

"Again with the running, why can't humans ever listen?" Black hurried alongside Leere, rushing, but looked over his shoulder to see Bonegrinder and Hades. At least his master could still move, but his speed was greatly reduced. The ghouls snarled, almost trampling over each other to tear the group apart. They had so much energy and hate in their being then any other undead the Wraith had seen. Once the doors at the top of the staircase were open, and everyone was through, Black used a touch of his own magic to seal it for the time being. There were multiple bangs against the door, and he frowned. "We have to find a place where we can rest for a bit. All this running is going to take a toll on all of us."

The bang on the doors grew more intense, and the ghouls crawled over the walls and ran to other doors to find other ways of reaching them. There were hundreds of undead that chased them from that room alone. How many more were there? Leere gripped her shadow medallion, sighing. “Let’s keep walking down this hall for now.” Looking to Bi-Hanzo, she nodded solemnly to him. “I’m so sorry about losing Kenshi.”

“Least I know what’s happened to my missing people...”

"We need to exercise caution. We don't know what to expect from a place like this." Black walked beside of Leere, glancing back every now and then to check on Bonegrinder. The Wraith was concerned about the Anagari. He had not seen him look this bad in a very long while. Black was one of the oldest members of the Hive and he had been through harsh times with Bonegrinder, thick and thin.

Walking down the hallway, it started to curve. On the walls were pipes and lights. Leere heard of this before, and seen it in Danjur. Electricity. Little bulbs of light glowing faintly to light of the room.

There were doors every once in the while on the left side. Staying alert, they saw a Mortuus at one of the doors, fumbling with keys to get in. Leere looked to Black. “Should we risk taking a guide, or move on?”

"Judging from what transpired outside this tower, these people rather shoot off their own foot than help a stranger." Black did not sound too enthused. "Let us try to keep moving until Bonegrinder can summon a portal."

"We cannot trust these Mortuus, Leere." Bonegrinder told the princess in-between slithers. He had to stop to catch his breath every now and then. Seeing he was larger than the humans and Hades, he could slither a little then rest for a moment. "Remember what he said about friend or foe; that does not apply here. They are both."

“Agreed. I don’t want to talk with these cultists of damnation.” It seemed Bi-Hanzo was in a charitable mood towards Bonegrinder. So they waited until the Mortuus was gone before contributing onwards. Walking up a spiraling staircase, they started to gain a view of the outside. The city held the sights of people arguing, children running through the streets, and monsters eating anyone who was foolish enough to have their guard down. High in the sky, a dragon flew by silently. Leere cringed when she saw how little skin it had on its body when it become illuminated by the moon.

Arriving at the top of the staircase, they came across a purple and red door. Creaking it open, Leere peered inside. A giant ballroom filled with cultists were strewn about. They were cutting apart bodies, experimenting with wiring, and praying to statues of various gods and demons. It seemed to be an active hub.

"...!!!" Bonegrinder felt physically sick. His scales flickered, sensing the danger. Carefully, he pulled Leere back with his tail and shut the door, praying none of the cultists noticed. "... he senses foulness there, tiny princess. Let us keep going."

"... they were making more puppets, weren't they?" Black asked his master.

"Yes, among other things. This snake can sense his brother's presence nearby... that or his magic one. Destroyer and Chaos have riddled this place with their disease of seducing black arts."

As Hades was about to turn back down the stairs, he paused. His powerful sense of hearing often lead to dread. “Those undead abominations have found our path. Judging by the smell, they’d be upon us in fifteen minutes.”

"There's no way all of us can take down a horde of those things." Black knew he could simply hide in the shadows and wait it out, but pulling in three other beings with him? That'd drain his magic excessively. There was no way he could pull it off for long and he refused to leave his master's side anyhow. "Do you think we can find a way to the outside? It'd even be safer to hang off a wall at this point."

Hades looked down at the room, scanning its contents. At the far end, he saw a sign of hope. “Very end of the room. There’s an elevator going upwards. Our chances are much stronger if we fight our way through to there then back down. Bonegrinder. Can you manage it?”

"This snake can move, though he is concerned about the elevator." The Anagari told the Lynel. "He is very weighty and so are you, old friend. There is a chance we both might not fit."

“Then we can take turns. Let us depart.”

Down at in the ballroom, one cultist was conducting an experiment. With a rat maze, he had a small worm like parasite travel through a fog identical to the one that the group traveled through the cave. Once it made its way to the other size and in a bigger container, it grew nearly ten times its size to fill the glass container. As he was writing notes, his head suddenly turned into red paste as Hades club utterly destroyed him with one swing. The Lynel short teleported over your cause first blood and sew confusion amongst the cultists.

Leere was running down the steps to the elevator, when she paused in her tracks at a monument she saw. A red obelisk with runes glew a menacing light glow on and off, and a deep anger filled her being. It was a construct just like the Beacon she shut down decades ago. “Sweet mother of god...”

When a cultist tried to hack at her with a sickle, Leere twisted her body around to dance around her attacker. With a graceful movement of her arms, she positioned her scythe at the other Mortuus head. Activating her blade, the blue hum of the energy easily decapitated her target, sending the head rolling in Black’s direction.

Black was managing to keep the cultists away from Bonegrinder with ease. He was using the darkness to his advantage. One by one, he took down anyone foolish enough to try to harm his master. Still, there was no place safe enough to rest and recover. The group would have to keep moving. Though when Hades suggested that all of them take turns on the elevator, Black shook his head furiously. "I will not leave Bonegrinder while he's like this. If he is alone and attacked, and another episode occurs, he could bring down this whole tower and us with it."

“Then you go up with him first!” Hades bucked his feet backwards, kicking another cultist into a statue. Leere watched Bi-Hanzo race for the elevator. When they got closer, he realized how big it was. More so, looking up at the opening, how far it traveled up. “Hurry!”

One Cultist threw a spear and chain at Black, stabbing through his shoulder blade and pulling him closer. His eyes were a mess with bloodlust, and with magic, a ghostly green fire spread up the chain to burn the Wraith. As the cultist was ready to turn up the heat, Leere cut the chain off, following up with chopping Black’s attacker in half. It left a messy pair of legs to stumble around for a moment. “Are you alright?”

Bonegrinder managed to slither into the elevator, fitting his coils inside tightly. There was just enough room for Black when the Wraith was suddenly pulled backwards. As soon as the assassin was out of the elevator, the doors suddenly shut and trapped the Anagari inside. Black, however, released a piercing screech as the blade struck through his body. He did not know what the tool was enchanted with, some kind of dark magic, but it made his limbs feel numb. Almost like the Cultist was trying to force his will. As soon as Leere cut down the cultist, he held his shoulder. Little drops of blood floated around the wound, able to see clearly through the hole. This would take a while to fix. "... that magic was trying to force me to obey." The Wraith then glanced at the elevator. "And we're separated from Bonegrinder. We must find him."

The elevator suddenly shot up, leaving the group the watch Bonegrinder be taken away. “No! No!!!” Leere reached a hand up in vein. She wasn’t fast enough. Looking around, she saw a lever to call it back down. Pulling it, she didn’t know how long they’d have to wait. Although the last of the cultists were dead or scattered, the danger wasn’t over. Back at the door they entered, a cultist was about to flee, when she was suddenly snatched away by the swarm of the undead. The hideous ghouls looked down the stairs, looking at the group. With a war cry of terror, they ran towards the flesh. Leere gripped her scythe, taking a few breaths. “We just have to hold out!”

"Hold out?! There's too many of them." Black was never an optimistic person. "If one of us gets pulled down, we're not getting back up---!!!"

DING!

The Wraith was interrupted by the elevator's appearance... without Bonegrinder inside.

Too late. The monsterous creatures were already on top of them.

Bi-Hanzo magically blasted ice and picked up a sword to hack away at them. When one slashed at his stomach, bleeding him, he retreated back into the elevator after bringing up a wall of ice between him and some of the ghouls.

Black might have been impressed by how quick and furious Leere was if both weren’t concerned with staying alive. The Shadow Sage kept hacking away at the fast undead, limb after limb after limb. But there were just too many. Covered in blood, unsure how much was there and how many cuts they gave here, she didn’t know if they’d make it out alive.

That was when Hades launched a powerful stream of fire to burn away a wave of the undead. “Into the elevator! Flee! Now! You must live!!!”

The ghouls were endless, one after the other, and he was down an arm. The Wraith had to improvise, pulling the undead around with his shadows and using the area to his advantage. Yet, even he was tiring. When Hades bellowed at him to move, the assassin started to protest. Bonegrinder would have his head if he knew he left Hades, but also if he put Leere in unnecessary danger. Damn it, why did this always have to happen to him.? Black had never moved so fast in this second chance of life, if one would call it that, as he chucked Leere over his shoulder so she could still swing her weapon and launched into the elevator.

Leere was ready to save Hades when Black suddenly picked her up. Her concentration disrupted, she could have used the shadows to give him a fighting chance, or give him reinforcements. As she got her footing again, the last glimpse she saw of the Lynel was being swarmed by the ghouls when the elevator doors slammed shut, and they made their way up.

“No!!!” Leere slammed her fists on the door. Still angry, she turned to Black, clocking him in the face with a surprise punch to the nose. “What the hell are you thinking?!?! You disrupted my concentration! Again! I could have helped give Hades a chance had you not suddenly grabbed me from behind! You’re not a knight in shining armour Black!”

Bi-Hanzo was still catching his breath, looking at this blood covered woman screaming at her comrade. Glancing at his own wounds, he winced.

"..." Black barely flinched when Leere punched him. He wiped away the floating blood from his nose and then retorted, "Bonegrinder gave me an order to look after your ungrateful ass. I promised him I would. I'm keeping my promise, no matter how much I think this whole idea of yours was a fool's errand. Now are you going to stop screaming at me like a brat and help me find my master or are you going to continue to berate me for my job?"

“I’m going to berate you for not thinking properly. Yes, I wanted to come here. But I know exactly what I’m getting myself into! I’m a warrior Black! This type of shit is my expertise. And if you keep fucking around and treating me like a Princess, you’re going to get others killed, or me! You want to save your master? Then use your goddamn brain.”

Bi-Hanzo leaned back against the wall, taking deep breaths. “What kind of shit are we in?”

Leere took a moment to use her shadow magic to peel off the blood stains from her clothes and onto the floor. “Nothing good at all. These Mortuus must be magical geniuses or morons. I’m going to say the latter seeing how they found a way to open up a portal to a dimension of madness and the worst undead I’ve encountered in my life. There’s no telling what else we’ll discover here. All I know is I’m not leaving until I shut it down. Again.”

"... fine then. You certainly have the bitchy temper of a princess." Black used the shadows to 'stitch' his shoulder wound closed for the time being. It almost looked like a dark parasite latching onto the Wraith's skin, but it would have to do for now. "I'm going to search for Bonegrinder. You do what you like." Once the elevator stopped, the Wraith took a look at the surroundings before stepping out.

Outside, was a narrow, metal caged hallway. The steel was rusting something fierce, and the darkness was overwhelming from all directions around them.

“What happened to sticking together?” Leere finally took a look at Bi-Hanzo’s wounds, pulling out a sewing kit from one of her pouches to help him out.

"You obviously care more for this Prama-forsaken country than you do for the well being of the one who has tried to protect you from all this darkness for years. I don't understand you. You're not the hero, you're the Shadow Sage. Heroic missions are for that kid swinging around a sword in green." Black stated very bluntly, "Bonegrinder is by no means perfect, but he does care for you for some reason that eludes me. I'm not going to guard someone who doesn't want me to do so and I'm going to go and find him so we can get out of his hell on earth."

“And what are you Black? An undead blade to your master? Klinge minus the smug charm?” She pulled tight on one of Bi-Hanzo’s wounds. “What I do I don’t ever account to my daughter or other children. This isn’t a fairy tale of a hero. But this is good vs. evil. There is a nightmare I need to put an end to here. You go find Bonegrinder. Leave if you want. But you save the good that can be found in this damned corner of earth.” She turned to him, a fierce determination in her eyes. “Because fighting for the good of humanity is always a noble cause.”

"Heh, now Klinge was someone I would admire. He had the lethality of an Echidnan when he was undead but gave it up for that woman and to play house." Black told the princess with no qualms about his statement. "I am an assassin. I was a bringer of death in life and now I am in this state. I killed many arrogant bastards, some who deserved it, some may not have. Either way, what 'good' I have seen in this world is debatable." The Wraith told Leere. "I am not here to protect the 'good' left in this earth. I am here to ensure the safety of Bonegrinder, the one being who tried to help me during the time where I was lost. I am not here to save the many, I am here to save only one." He then said, "Have you even thought about what would happen if Prama was ripped from Bonegrinder too early? No? Of course you haven't. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here, in the last place my master should be, but no. No, he's here because you made a deal with that damn Prama and he feels guilty. You manipulated him." Black barely showed emotion, but this was definitely a button for him. "You're right, Leere. I am no knight in shining armor. Never aimed to be. Yet, I will keep Bonegrinder save with the last of what I am because he helped me when no one else would." He scoffed. "Good of humanity... humans caused all of this. They had a choice. These Mortuus had a choice. And look what they chose. I have very little faith in humanity."

“You’re right. And it’s my choice to save what I can.” Leere stepped off the elevator with Bi-Hanzo. Activating her scythe, she used the blade to light the way forward. With blood long stained on the floor, it didn’t look pleasant. Leading them, she smirked at Black’s thoughts on the o. “Gave up his lethality? I pity you Black. You and the rest of the Hive. And I think I finally get it.”

"You don't need to." Black admitted to Leere almost with a chuckle. "We're all monsters here. The fact is, I've embraced it." He then looked at her. "But you haven't."

“And you think that’s a good thing? You lack humanity. You lack empathy for those outside your immediate bubble. It’s our connections to family, friends, and those we love that makes us strong. Why would you want to be a monster Black? Monsters are what threaten the innocent.”

”You can’t save them”

A tiny whisper ran out in their heads individually. It was like the wind in the air, briefly passing by.

Leere gripped her head, shrugging it off to paranoia that she’d fail. “I can be as vicious, bloodthirsty, and dangerous as I can be. But that doesn’t make me a monster.”

"It is a good thing, because the monsters survive, Leere." Black thought it was rather amusing. She still had no clue of why Bonegrinder wanted her to avoid all of this madness. Yet, perhaps it would eventually be her downfall. If only she had listened, the princess wouldn't be in this place. "And I am not human. Therefore, my lacking of humanity is for naught."

“But you where human once. Surely that means something to you. Tell me. Who do you love the most Black. Who’d you give your all to that wasn’t your job? Who do you miss in your heart?” Leere’s scythe went out, and she never got her answer. “Black? Bi-Hanzo?” Leere searched around in the darkness, and the assassin and the Mortuus warrior were gone.

"I was never fully human, I was am a hy---!!!"

Black was suddenly alone. He pivoted on his heel. Where did the princess go? He looked up and then down. No, he did not fall through a hole. Nor did he activate his shadow magic. What was going on? The Wraith jolted when he saw an outline of his old home. It was faint in his memories, but he knew it was there. He also recalled the pain that was held there. Recollections he'd rather forget. His parents were very much in love, but his birth was a bad omen to them. Yes, his beautiful mother, a human, and his mighty father, a monster from some of Mother's adoptive children, as she called them. A enchanting Nokken, otherwise known as a shapeshifter. Some could reproduce with humans. Others could not.

"Filthy halfling, filthy halfling."

This was an illusion. His parents were long gone. These faces which tormented him were dead. He knew that, he killed them. Perhaps it was now his turn to be haunted. Yet, that would be silly. A Wraith? Being haunted? A ghost haunting a spirit? That was laughable. Yet, the words still stung. The way the other children would chant 'filthy halfling' always irritated him. There was no love for anything remotely human in the world of monsters. It was easier to be a full monster, then anything resembling human. So, Black wanted to make sure that no one would ever mistake him for a pitiful human ever again. He'd change his shape and blend into the shadows.

"Don't you want to be a full monster? What if we could help you?"

"A little too late to play mind games, don't you think?"

"You could be of more assistance to Bonegrinder rather than a weak halfling."

"That's true. I probably would be stronger."

"Then accept our help. Let us help you break free of these human restraints."

"No."

"No? We thought you hated humans."

"I do. They're rotten creatures. But... they're crafty. And I'd like to hold onto that part of me."

“How about a test then?” A voice that didn’t belong called out. A shadow swept through the area, materializing with horns and a smell of brimstone. With flickering red eyes and a body that wasn’t all there, the Shadow Man confronted Black. “A choice then. Human? Or monster kind?”

"... you're the one that Echidnans call Tzitzimime..." The Wraith did not seem afraid or bothered. It was hard to have emotions being in a state of limbo, he supposed. Though, for some odd reason, he could still feel frustration. "The embodiment of Chaos."

“A humble avatar for my master.” The Shadow Man chuckled. With the wave of a hand, two doors appeared. “You have a choice to make Wraith. On the left door you will be led down a path to the fallen Echidnan God. On the right, the Mortuus Sage desperately clinging to hope. Both are about to become in mortal danger. If you hurry, you might be able to save one. Human or Monster? And I’d chose quickly.”

"So I suppose Mother of the Monsters was correct. You are split into pieces." Black simply stood there. "I'm surprised you haven't tried to kill me. Giving me a choice instead?"

“Because it’ll be more fun to see you fail in protecting not just one, but potentially two of your companions.” The insidious malice dripping from his voice was piercing. “Be fun to see your face twist with anguish when you see them dead.”

"You are mistaken if you believe I think of that human girl as a companion." Black was as stoic as ever. "Bonegrinder told me to protect her. She told me not to do so. If she dies, then the world will be rid of another one of your potential hosts you've waited for, obviously for a long while or you'd be here causing your havoc already." The Wraith asked, sounding a touch... pissed. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

“I do. That’s why you aren’t dedicated in a choice regardless by now. Save your master, or go out to kill the girl to stop my first plan of choice.”

"Well, you see, you made a mistake. I care about Bonegrinder. Not that shitty god inside of him. Also, one more thing," Black held out his hand before jerking it back. "You have to pay an assassin to kill someone. I'm not seeing any loot. So goodbye." The Wraith took the door to his master.

The Shadow Man’s eyes flickered with a smile. Closing the door behind Black, he made sure to single Destroyah that now was the time. “All too easy.”

Bonegrinder was in a hell of his own. The Anagari was frozen, unable to move. His limbs would not work and he could not find the strength to slither. He was tormented by visions of his family, lost long ago. The way they spoke was like a drug. He had not heard their voices in years, seen their faces in ages. The snake was content to die here since he saw his family one last time. Yet, Prama was trying to draw the snake back to rational thought, will him to get up and fight, but if he risked using too much magic, it would draw the attention of Dhakk. He could sense his brother nearby. This had to be a ploy.

Luckily, Black knew just the way to gain his master's attention. "Forgive me, Bonegrinder, but I am doing this for your own good." Black had suffered under illusions before and the only way to break free from them was... pain. So he stuck the tip of his blade into Bonegrinder's tail, earning a yowl from the Anagari.

Leere turned to see a white light shine down on a dark silhouette in the distance. It was a woman standing up, yet crooked in her posture. When she spoke Leere froze. ”My sweet little daughter... you shouldn’t have come here. You should have listened to your friends.”

Leere held her ground as a deathly version of Zelda walked toward her like a puppet on strings. Her eyes were gauged out, with bloody trailing down her cheeks like tears. It was sickening to see her mother used against her again. Especially now that Zelda had passed on. “Get out of my head. You aren’t my mother.”

“Why? Afraid you’re going insane? It’s ok. You’ll be dead soon enough you stupid girl.” The puppet suddenly ran at a frightening speed towards Leere. With no hesitation, she swung her blade to cut Zelda in half down the side. With her body splitting apart, the upper half of this sickening doppelganger of her mother leaped towards Leere, pinning her down. Zelda’s hands reached around Leere’s neck, squeezing tightly with rotting fingers. ”You’re a disappointment to the family. And none of them will see your body again. I should never have adopted you from that cage.”

Leere gasped as she was losing breath. Reaching to her side, she grasped at empty air until she found her knife. Turning purple in the face and her eyes growing bloodshot, she thrusted up in Zelda, stabbing the nightmare in the throat. Twisting the blade, she grabbed a lose hand up and snapped her neck. Gasping for breath and tearing up, Leere chocked on air as she kicked frantically to stand up.

However, her torment was far from over. The area exploded into a rush of yellow lighting, and the eerie cackles of children called out. Leere saw a large light in the shape of a door way. All around were tiny zombified children hissing and running at her from the dark. Every last one of them was a freakish version of her daughter Joy. Grabbing her scythe, and relying on instinct, Leere ran to the light. Everytime she was forced to cut down a version of Joy, a piercing taunt ran out in her head.

”Don’t you love me mommy?”

”Why did you never come back?”

”My mother didn’t love me enough to return.”

”You’re hurting me!” ”Die with me mommy!”

”It’s you’re fault we’re dead!”

With a frantic scream, Leere ran through the light. On the other side, she tripped and collapsed onto a clear floor all alone. Shuddering, she bit her lip hard to feel anything else other than fear. Rising up, she let out a roar so angry, so full of wrath, it’d shake the hearts of any who heard it. “I’LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!!!! YOU’LL PAY FOR TAUNTING ME!!!”

Leere wasn’t going to let these fuckers get away with torturing her and her friends anymore.

________________________________________________________________

Previous Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/626094887593443328/evils-bane-ch-7-entering-the-tower

Next Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/626630162211028992/evils-bane-ch-9-everyone-has-something-to-lose

[alexanders-coffee]

I finally finished making the first chapter! The book is called Bone Marrow by the way

This chapter contains: paranoia, and recalling traumatic events

The smell of coffee beans waffered through the air as the sun barely peeked through the city buildings. A medium sized lump on the old small bed stirred before a bony hand appeared from inside the cocoon. The hand grasped at the blanket, peeling it away from the body underneath. The skeleton sat up and dazedly stared at the wall before him. Sun rays peered through the dirty cracked window, old curtains fluttering lightly from the heater pumping warm air out below it. The walls were a light brown though the male was sure it had originally been a more cream color despite his landlord's protests. The floor above him creaked lightly as he could hear echoes of footsteps coming from upstairs.

The boney figure was still shaken up from the previous night. His leg unconsciously curled into his chest as he thought about it. He became slightly short of breath at the mere thought of everything. He was still shook, mostly from the fact that he wasn't killed but also the mere fact that something like this happened to someone like him. He wasn't anyone important, just a mere photographer who produced photos for the local newspaper and even got to write a few of the stories. He never wrote anything on the murders and stuck to the boring things that people tended to overlook. It was a sucky job but someone had to do it.

When the skeleton had gotten back to his place, he had immediately called the police. The police hadn't really belived him when he had said he witnessed a murder since the streets souronding that area were peaceful and only contained your average junkies and hooligan teens. But they proceeded with protocol and dispatched a police officer to go check the crime scene. When they had found the body an investigation was released almost immediately after seeing how the victim was murdered. The way the victim had died resembled the many others that fell victim to the 'Hound'.

The Hound was the newest serial killer in the state. They were named 'Hound' after the first few bodies were found with sharp almost canine like teeth marks littering their bodies. It wasn't released to the public yet if the cause of death was from the bite marks or the deep gashes done with a bowie knife. The police tried to keep the whole thing on the down low but a few reporters caught wind of it and jumped to give this new killer a name, which seemed to only fuel the wrath by said killer. The Bureau tried to disclose any other information so the media couldn't make a not on anything. It was an attempt to lure the killer out and make them act more recklessly. Which utterly failed.

The skeleton was brought in for questioning a few hours later but was released a little while after since it was nearing the two am mark. He would have to come back in the morning to finish up the questions before he was off the hook. His eyes turned to view the alarm clock on his nightstand, he gave a small sigh as it read six thirty-eight. He only had an hour or so before he would be asked to come down to the station. He wanted to succumb to escapism and hide away from this reality. Perhaps he could go back to sleep and would later awake to realize it was all just a bad dream.

A cold chill ran down his spine as his mind drifted back to the crime scene. Was the person he saw really the Hound? He casted a paranoid glance around the room as he reminded himself that he was safe, that he was in his own sanctuary and that the Hound couldn't harm him. They had dispatched a police officer to watch the skeleton's apartment in case he were to leave town or if the killer wanted to clean up. He didn't get to talk much with the police officer since he was too tired and frightened to strike up a conversation.

He turned his body and let his legs fall off the side of the bed as he stood up. He wore a slightly baggy shirt (everything was baggy on him since he was quite literally made up of bones) and a pair of navy sweatpants. He made his way to his small kitchen, his feet making slight clattering noises as they moved over the hardwood floor. He walked over to the wooden counter, already spotting the container of coffee grounds already out. He messed around in the kitchen for a little before finally starting his coffee. He tapped his finger on the counter as he thought the cop would appreciate a cup of coffee. He might already have a cup of coffee. The skeleton thought to himself as he let doubt worm its way in. He decided he would just keep to himself instead of going out of his way to talk to the officer. He felt more comfortable with that.

He turned his back to the coffee maker, trudging through the small kitchen towards the small living room. The lights were still off, the only light coming from the window by the small one-person table. He liked the lights being off, sometimes they were just too bright. He pulled himself over towards the window, moving the thin curtain to the side so he could peek outside. The sidewalks were that busied, seeing a pedestrian every now and then. Anyone of them could be the killer. Could be pretending just to be a normal citizen as they checked out his building so they could plot when and how they would get in to finish the job.

Suddenly he didn't really want to look outside anymore. He let the curtain go and watched it cut the image of the outside off from his line of sight. He stepped back, his fingers knitting themselves together. Fear settled itself deep within his bones again. He couldn't really remember all that had happened last night. When he explained that the officers down at the station they assumed it was his mind trying to protect him by locking up his memories. It's very common to those who experience something traumatic.

His hands slithered over one another, feeling the scrape marks that indented his palms from when he fell. That might've been the only thing that reminded him that what had happened wasn't just some nightmare. He turned his palms upwards as he peered down. His hands ached as he eyes the indentations. They would heal of course but he tended to get hurt quite a lot. A perfect example of that was when he had stubbed his toe last week on his bedpost and it ended up breaking. The hospital staff became very well acquainted with him since the time he's moved in

The sound of a knock brought the skeleton back from his mind. He turned his head towards the door, watching it intensely. Had the killer saw where he escaped to last night? How did they find his room? Did they see him from the window? His thoughts raced through his mind as adrenaline pumped into his veins. He fell into a cold sweet, his hearing zoning in and trying to make out any other sound from the other side of the door. Another knock ripped through the room, followed by a voice.

"It's the police!" The voice announced, a little muffled by the wooden door. The skeleton nervously took a step forward towards the door. After a second he began to take a few more quiet steps til he pressed his palms against the cold wood. He leaned his head forward, his 'heart' hammering against his ribs. He looked into the peephole. The man on the other side was fairly tall, dark toned skin- maybe a few shades darker than almond-, thick brown curls that hugged the bottom of his jawline and the sides of his face. The two important details he noticed were the police uniform and the two eyes that glanced from the door to each end of the hallway. The guy on the other side of the door wasn't the serial killer.

The skeleton released a shaky breath, leaning his forehead against the door for a second before pulling the door chain off the wall. He turned the second lock, here the soft click when he did so. His hand clamped around the cold metal doorknob, pulling the door up slowly. He peeked his head off to the side, still cautious of the other. His left palm was gripping the edge of the door as his right hand was still pressed up against the door. The male on the other side smiled once he noticed the door was opened.

"Howdy! I hope I didn't wake you up, I just wanted to check in" His voice was fruity, which calmed the skeletons jitters a little more. His eyes were perfect, they looked like warm caramel that commercials showed for caramel filled candy. A small black dot that you could easily overlook was settled in the lower part of his right eye. The edges of his lips tugged upwards as he gave a toothy grin. Four teeth on the top row were sharp. The cop in front of his door was a vampire.

Vampires weren't very known to be in law enforcement. They tended to stick to jobs in the medical section, better access to bagged blood- or fresh blood. The male stammered slightly as he realized he had just been staring at the cop instead of replying.

"Ah yea...I'm doing okay, thank you" His words came out taunt and meek. He cleared his throat lightly so the next time he spoke, it wouldn't be so quiet. His fingers on his right hand scratched at the door in slight embarrassment. The vampire gave a small nod at the reply. Before the vampire could reply, the skeleton added a little more. "I didn't...catch your name.." He began to worry half way through his sentence that it was a bad idea to ask for it. Though his doubts were eased when he saw the smile on the vampire grow a little.

"Aki, Aki Linscott" He proudly announced. He raised a brow and gave a small tilt to his head. "I never actually caught yours, sorry" He apologized lightly, his hands resting on his hips. The skeleton widened his eyes lightly as he realized he never actually gave his first AND last name to the officers down at the station. He had only given his first name since he was still a babbling mess. It was kind of embarrassing now that he though back on it.

"Oh it's Milo...Uh- Myrah- my last name is Myrah" He stammered to make his sentence clear. Aki reached his hand out towards Milo, his expression friendly and welcoming. Milo was still cautious of the other, his shoulders tensing up slightly at the action. He kinda reminded him of an overly excited dog that was meeting another of his kind at the dog park. It was kinda cute. His shoulders relaxed once again as the image of the dog popped into his head once again. He didn't really seem treacherous

"Well it's nice to meet you Milo!" He gushed, a little sparkle happening in his eyes. Everytime Aki spoke, he felt a little more comfortable. Milo reached his frail hand out and wrapped it around Aki's more muscular and warmer one. Both parties shook their hands slightly. Aki's grip was more profound while Milo's was weak and vulnerable. Milo could spot a few scars on the officer's arms, a few hard to see while others were bold. One scar traveled from the inside of his left forearm, traveling upwards under his sleeve. He became a little curious about the scar, did he get it on the job or maybe sometime before?

"Mhm...Same here"

Word count: 2k

[sendspoodsnotnoods]

Tarantula Care basics:

I've gotten tired of typing out "beginner tips" when people ask for them in Facebook groups, so I'm posting this as a resource to anyone who wants to get a tarantula but needs a place to start with researching. Please research elsewhere as well and be aware that there are many people who are successful at keeping tarantulas that may disagree on certain husbandry topics. This information is based off of the research I've done and how I care for my tarantulas. I may not be an expert with decades of experience, but I am a science minded individual who did a lot of research before getting my first tarantula and who has continued to learn each day I keep these beautiful animals as pets.

Temperatures-

No heat lamp, no heat pad. Fine at normal room temperature. If you're not cold neither is your tarantula. If your house is kinda cold get a space heater for the room you keep your tarantula in. Between 60-80F is fine for most tarantulas. Slightly below or slightly higher won't likely hurt them. If your house regularly goes below 60F then consider getting a space heater.

Enclosures-

Don't buy an enclosure until you know the size of the tarantula youre getting. You could be investing in a huge tank when all you're going to need for the next 5 years is a Tupperware or critter keeper. Give your tarantula at least 2x their legspan in all demensions of the enclosure. So a 2in. legspan tarantula needs at least a 4x4in enclosure minimum. Too large an enclosure may mean you struggle to find your tarantula or that your tarantula has a higher risk of falling and getting hurt. You can be generous with space without going overboard. For example a 3wx4Lx2h in. display case is a bit large for a 3/4 in. sling however it's much more appropriate than putting a tiny sling in a huge enclosure. Small slings are often kept in 4oz or 6oz deli cups and that is completely fine for a few months. Remember that you don't have to spend big bucks on glass enclosures. Often acrylic and plastic is more ideal for providing proper ventilation anyways. Explore stores like the Container Store for ideas. You can use anything from display cases to clear shoe boxes. Invest in a drill and get some 1/16th inch drill bits (that's what i use on sling enclosures, you can use a larger bit for bigger spiders).

You should know whether or not your tarantula is terrestrial (lives on or near the ground), arboreal (lives in trees), or fossorial (lives primarily underground). I won't discuss fossorials in depth in this post because I don't have any first hand experience, however the biggest difference between fossorial and terrestrial is you need to give them A LOT of substrate. Get them a tall enclosure and fill it most of the way with substrate. Most "beginner species" aren't fossorials so it's unlikely you'll be getting one soon unless you get an Aphomapelma seemanni. Tom Moran has a husbandry video on Aphonopelma seemanni if that's the species you're interested in getting.

Terrestrials should have at least enough substrate to burrow if they choose, so at least one leg span if possible. Do not give a terrestrial more than 2x their legspan between the surface of the substrate and the lid of their enclosure. They have very fragile abdomens and can die if they fall from even small heights. A terrestrial enclosure should be wider/longer than it is high.

Arboreals need an enclosure that is taller than it is wide. I like the AMAC boxes sold at the Container Store for slings, however other options include clear pill jars, plastic jars, and file boxes. Be creative. There are also glass exoterra enclosures that people like, however I personally don't like them because they don't give you enough cross ventilation and tarantulas can get their feet caught on the mesh/screen lids. I prefer something with cross ventilation (something where i can add a bunch of holes in the sides). Arboreals don't need that much substrate. Just provide enough to cover the bottom of the enclosure, help keep anything that you may place on the bottom of the enclosure in place, and absorb moisture.

Water and moisture-

You'll see some care sheets say that certain genera and species such as "Theraposa stirmi" (which I would not recommend for a beginner) need "high humidity". What they really need is wet substrate. "High humidity" species need their substrate to be soaked down more frequently or more generously. Many "beginner" terrestrial species are arid species (they live in drier climates). Nearly all Brachypelma, Grammostola, and Aphomapelma can be kept in the same type of enclosures. Give them dry substrate and a water dish, and overflow the dish a little when you fill it. Do not put rocks or a sponge in the dish. Tarantulas cannot drink from a sponge and rocks and gravel simply provide more surface area for mold to grow.

Small slings do not necessarily need a water dish. While they are small tarantulas lack the waxy curticle on their exoskeletons that keeps water in. Because they lack the cuticle they can get moisture from their substrate. Keep generally all terrestrial slings an moderately damp substrate and watch for mold growth.

Substrate-

There are a number of popular options including ecoearth (or another brand of coconut fiber substrate) and organic potting soil. Some people mix vermiculite in with their substrate but vermiculite shouldn't be used alone as a substrate. If you use potting soil ensure it's only soil and doesn't have added fertilizer or chemicals. Topsoil is heavy so doesnt need to be packed down. If you choose ecoearth or coconut fiber, it comes often in dense bricks. Add water to these bricks and pull them apart. You may need to do this ahead of time so you can let the coconut fiber dry off before you assemble the enclosure. Coconut fiber is loose and fluffy when you put it in the enclosure. Pat it down firmly with your hands otherwise the tarantula won't like walking on the substrate. Coconut fiber, topsoil, or specially designed tarantula substrates are all acceptable. Substrates NOT to use: sand, aquarium gravel, woodchips, mulch, pure vermiculite. The goal with a substrate is to provide a maxtrix that the tarantula won't mind walking on that will hold moisture and hold the shape of their burrows.

Tank accessories-

Hides- The most important accessory besides a water dish (which I recommend for all tarantulas besides tiny slings) for a terrestrial tarantula is a hide. This can be a plastic hide bought from a pet store, a piece of corkbark, flat or curved driftwood, a broken flower pot, or half a cup. Be creative. They can be as cheap as you want. Just be sure there aren't any super sharp edges. In a pinch you can make a hide from a plastic soda bottle. Cut out a portion of it and CAREFULLY use a lighter to curve the piece of plastic and melt the edges so that's theyre not sharp. I have used this technique a number of times. These hides then should be partially buried so that they are dark inside, but the opening is visible so they tarantula can use it as a starter burrow. Cork bark is very popular for hides and can be bought from a pet store or online. A variety of other hides can also be bought from pet stores. Anything that's half a cylinder and open on both sides will function well as a hide for your tarantula. A hide can be skipped with super small slings but should be provided once the enclosure is large enough. For slings I've used short parts of powdered drink tubes that I bury with one end exposed on the surface. You'd be amazed what junk you can cut up and use in an enclosure.

Tall anchor points- for arboreal tarantulas they need something that reaches close to the top of their enclosure so they have something that they can climb and use to anchor webbing. This can be a piece of corkbark on end, a pcv pipe, a log, silk plants, or anything! Corkbark and silk plants are the popular choices but you can use a 2x4 (nontreated wood) and paint sticks if you feel so inclined.

Low anchor points- all tarantulas can web, although some will do so more than others. A number of species, especially the popular "green bottle blue" are heavy webbers and should be provided with some anchor points even though they're terrestrial (even though some may argue sort of otherwise). These anchor points can simply be fake plants or something. Protip: fishtank plants are cheaper than terrarium plants and work just as well. Even cheaper are silk plants from craft stores. Just rinse and pat dry any tank accessories to remove dust from the store just in case. All tarantulas can benefit from some anchor points in their enclosures. Also adding a silk plant or two looks nice.

Food-

A tarantula can be fed practically any sort of feeder insect from meal worms to roaches to crickets. Meal worms, superworms, and dubia roaches will burrow if you let them, so before offering them to your tarantula you should pinch the feeder's head so that it is disabled but not entirely dead. Crickets are fine but can bite, so don't leave them unattended with a tarantula. Red runners (B. lateralis) are good but beware that they can infest your home if they escape, so use caution. Hornworms can make an occasional nutrional treat, however only use store bought worms. If hornworms have eaten tomato plants it can make them toxic to anything that eats them. On that note: NEVER feed wild caught prey of any kind. Wild caught feeders may carry parasites such as nematodes that can be passed to your tarantula and may eventually kill them. Purchase feeders from a pet store, online supplier, local breeders (some people will breed colonies of feeders), or from vendors at an expo.

Feed your tarantula a prey item around the size of their abdomen once every week or two if they will eat. If you don't have larger prey items you can feed them a couple at once. If they stop eating do not be alarmed, they might just be full, or they may be in premolt. Some species can fast for up to a year, so you tarantula is not going to die from self inflicted starvation. If it wants to eat it will. If it's not eating then remove the prey and try again in a week or two. If your tarantula is really fat, perhaps just wait to try feeding until it gets skinnier or molts.

Molting-

Tarantulas have an exoskeleton which does not grow with them. Because of that, like all arthropods they will molt, where they shed their old exoskeleton. They will likely stop eating. Premolt, or the period where they may stop eating and perhaps become more elusive or even close themselve off in their burrow, may last anywhere from a week to months, to a year in severe cases. Sometimes they will get duller in color during premolt, their abdomens may get black and shiny, and they may lose hair on their abdomens. If they refuse food and/or seal off the entrance to their burrrow, then leave them be, continue to fill their water dish, and wait to offer food again until they start wandering around their enclosure again.

When a tarantula molts it usually flips over on it's back. DO NOT TOUCH IT. They are very fragile during and after a molt. A molt can take anywhere from half an hour to 8 hours depending on the size of the tarantula. Do not intervene, just make sure they have water and leave them alone. After they have left their old exoskeleton they will be very vulnerable. The new exoskeleton is very soft and takes awhile to harden. Wait 1-2 weeks before you feed them. Best to go on the side of caution and wait 2 weeks if you're in doubt. What's important here is you wait until their new fangs have fully hardened and turned shiny and dark black. After 2 weeks it should be safe to feed. Remember, your tarantula is fine going awhile without eating, waiting an extra week or two isn't neglectful. Just keep its water dish filled and it will be ok.

Useful tools-

Feeding tongs: a must have. They can be purchased at a pet store or online. You'll need them for feeding and for removing things from the enclosure.

Paintbrush or makeup brush: a soft and clean paintbrush or makeup brush can be used to gently touch the back legs of a tarantula and coax it where you need it to go.

Plastic straw: just rinse and save one after a trip to a fast food place. Used for the same use as the paintbrush, but more useful if you have a tarantula that tries to bite (a plastic straw will not hurt their fangs if they bite it)

Wooden chopsticks: I don't see this on many lists but I've found chopsticks can be useful for pushing prey around if they're "playing dead" or for cleaning an enclosure (once again the wood is safer for fangs than metal tongs, however still attempt to avoid having your tarantula bite the chopsticks).

Plastic spoon: i guess it doesnt have to be plastic but thats what i use. Just keep one around. Its good for packing down substrate in enclosures that are too small to reach your hands into, and for digging starter burrows when assembling an enclosure.

Spray bottle: get a clean plastic water bottle for filling water dishes, misting, and wetting substrate. You can buy an empty spray bottle with an adjustable stream from Walmart for a dollar or two. Look near the household cleaning supplies.

Catch cups: collect a variety of clear or translucent plastic cups and bowls that you can poke air holes in. Always have a few catch cups and some flat pieces of cardboard that can cover them around when you open an enclosure. Should a tarantula escape, wait for it to stop moving, place the cup over it, and gently slide cardboard underneath. I bought a pack of clear solo cups a year ago and those are what I most commonly use. Empty containers from shredded cheese work well too and keep those lids in case you want to use them as sling enclosures later on.

Pocket knife: not everyone does this, but I have one old pocket knife that is my feeder insect knife. Sometimes you need to cut mealworms in half for smaller slings, that is the knife I use. Afterwards I wipe the blade off and close it and keep it with the rest of my tarantula tools.

You will discover what tools you find work for you after you have been caring for a tarantula for awhile. At the bare minimum get feeding tongs, a plastic straw, and some catch cups.

Conclusions, disclaimers, and further reading:

This guide is from my personal experience and research, however my opinions may vary from those of other keepers and hobbyists. This advice is based off of the care I provide for my tarantulas however you may find different care works better for you. I highly recommend you read through Tom Moran's beginner guides https://tomsbigspiders.com/beginner-guides/

Browse the forums on arachnoboards. There are many good youtube channels out there as well but some are more informative than others. I highly recommend Tom Moran for husbandry information. He may not be the most exciting and attention grabbing channel, but he has the most comprehensive and well phrased husbandry information than any other single person I've come across.

Each individual species is different and you should research the care and temperment of your particular species, but I encourage you not to trust traditional "care sheets" as many are misleading. I recommend using Tom Moran's content as a resource and asking questions on arachnoboards and other forums if you have further questions. Good luck and welcome to the hobby!