#this is me trying by taylor swift

[swearphil]

I just wanted you to know that this is me trying

[youareinlove]

pouring my heart out to a stranger but i didn't pour the whiskey

[locklylemybeloved]

hold on can we just talk about this is me trying for a second? like everything about timt makes me lose my shit. its honestly such a weird experience to listen to a song that literally says EVERYTHING you are dealing with and i just. idk man. it just hits me someplace. 

like,,, every day you can be struggling but you dont really ever show that to anyone because you cant, or everyday you are actively fighting against the urge to go to a dark place and every day you are trying to be ok and timt just explains that so well. every day you feel like youre falling apart but you cant say that so every single day youre trying to seem ok and happy. 

and no one gives you a gold star and says hey good job for not spiraling today. hey good job, you didnt have a panic attack today, or even hey you havent had a panic attack in the last hour. good job. you are making progress. 

the fact that every day we are fighting against so many parts of ourselves that are trying to break us down, every day there are voices in our heads saying we are not enough. and every day we keep on going, we keep on living.

so many people are being broken down inside, not just me, and no one is patting them on the back for the small victories. the small victories, the small wins, they matter. they are important. and all of us, all we want to hear is “youre trying. youre doing a good job at trying. good job.”

idk anyways thats just the little spiral this is me trying sends me on every time i listen to it idk it just makes me feel some type of way 🤷‍♀️

[x-methis-x]

Academic Validation

I was always the smart kid in class. I had always one of the best grades, because I was to lazy to work for the best (and a little scared to tbh), but I always was one of the best. People would come to me to ask for help, or homework, and doing tests without having to study made me feel above some of my peers.

But now I’m in college, everyone was the best in their high school classes either and I’m not that special anymore. I can’t be the “smart” one in my new friend group because we’re all the smart ones. Then who Am I…?

Plus, I think I should mention that I’m in architecture school (more like architorture school), here doesn’t matter how smart you are, in fact intelligence isn’t one of the biggest factors they’re interested in. Instead try creativity, knowing how to speak in public, group projects and knowing to express your opinion and work in group, practical work like making drawings, sketches and models. We're all starting from zero and we're learning everything together, but it feels like I'm getting behind.

It feels like I lost the only good thing about me, that was being smart and able to help others. Now I’m the one who always need help, with the worst grades, worst works, I feel like I’ve lost me and it really hurts to think like that.

I never really knew how much impact a number had in my life until I started to pay attention to them in my works. Yes, I can say that I had always feel good about having good grades and being one of the best in my classe, but in reality, who wouldn’t. 

I just never actually thought that I would feel so dumb, so lost and especial so worthless just because I hadn’t a grade I expected. My life turned upside down and I even cried about it (even when anyone else thought it wasn't that big problem having a bad grade; "It happens once in a while"). I guess I never really knew how much of an academic validation seeker I really was indeed.

[sprnklersplashes]

It's hilarious when people are like "taylor swift's songs are engineered to be as generically relatable as possible" because then you actually listen to the songs in question and she's just like

"I am a SELF-DESTRUCTIVE MONSTER who ruins everything I touch, I MANIPULATED everyone into liking me, my potential has been WASTED due to circumstances of MY OWN CREATION, I go back to an EMPTY HOUSE because everyone in my life has moved on, I am a BLEEDING OPEN WOUND, all my kindness is really just NARCISSISM IN DISGUISE, I will BREAK MYSELF FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT, I STARVED MYSELF in order to be saved by an idealised romance, I can go ANYWHERE except for THE PLACE I CALLED HOME, I will SPIRAL UNCONTROLLABLY if left to my own devices, I AM THE INSTRUMENT OF MY OWN DESTRUCTION, THIS WAS INEVITABLE"

[baby-girl-aaron-dessner]

hoax // this is me trying // is it over now?

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

I really love the little detail of paw prints on the promotional posts for THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT because all of this stuff is coming from Taylor’s desk, so of course the cats would be stepping all over her desk and leaving their marks on her documents.

[hope-ur-ok]

(╥﹏╥) - I was not emotionally stable enough for a sad piano version of this is me trying

[ohgaylor]

castles crumbling 🤝 nothing new 🤝 the archer 🤝 dear reader 🤝 mirrorball 🤝 anti-hero 🤝 coney island 🤝 you're on your own kid 🤝 this is me trying

[nightsflawless]

this was so this is me trying of her...

[titsthedamnseason]

the front half of the album is so depressing and then halfway through it’s like she realizes wait why am i depressed. i am taylor motherfucking swift

[hits-differently]

- t.s.

[tswiftupdatess]

Taylor Swift performs ''this is me trying" on piano as the second surprise song at The Eras Tour in Melbourne, Night 2! 🎹

[prettyupsetnerd]

[evermoredeluxe]

stick around until the end, she changes the outro melody and it’s beautiful

- Taylor performing this is me trying at The Eras Tour in Melbourne, Australia (N2) on February 17, 2024 (x)

[stillgotscars]

this is me trying - taylor swift