#this is my first long meta post and of course it's for my boys <3

[pondphuwin]

my school president meta: gun and sound parallels + learning through love

in short: this post will discuss gun and sound's character development parallels through their relationships with their respective romantic partners, and how these similarities inform the closeness of their friendship!

under the cut because i have much to say <3

in the episode that sound is first introduced (ep 4), he and gun are set up as opposing forces. they’re competing for the leadership role of the band, and they have contrasting character flaws. what the other lacks, the other has an abundance of:

gun has no self-confidence but is earnest, kind, understanding, and friendly. even if the general public (aka classmates, teachers) look down on him for being a poor student, he has close friends who genuinely love him and believe in him.

sound is a successful actor and musician at a young age and therefore has an inflated ego. though he is talented and confident in himself and his skills, he lacks the social skills to build any meaningful relationships in his life, despite the love and attention he receives from fans and the public.

however, gun and sound's personal journeys to overcoming these flaws parallel each other closely, developing in large part through their respective relationships with tinn and win.

tinn and win are the perfect partners to help gun and sound confront their flaws.

tinn is kind, attentive, and likes gun unconditionally. he recognizes all of the good qualities that gun misses about himself, his compliments are always natural and unpracticed—he just genuinely believes in gun’s talent and goodness. he is communicative but knows what he wants, which is good for gun whose uncertainty leads to him hurting himself more often than not.

meanwhile win is combative and honest. sound’s celebrity status doesn’t affect win’s initial dislike of him or his loyalty to gun as their band leader. sound can’t be pretentious or falsely charming with him because win sees right through it. when sound tries to act superior, win pulls him back down to earth. win challenges sound to confront the unpolished qualities of himself that he hides from the public.

through these relationships, both gun and sound learn to be open and vulnerable.

in ep 5, gun hides his disappointment in himself from his mom in fear of burdening her. he wants to keep up a strong appearance around her because she’s already stressed about her physical health. so, tinn intervenes and takes of care of gun in his emotionally vulnerable state, ultimately allowing gun to be honest with his mom. throughout the show, gun continuously opens up to tinn about his insecurities as a musician and the struggles he has been through with his family. as he shares more of those feelings with tinn, we also see gun seek and accept physical comfort from him as well.

similarly in ep 8, sound hides his injury from his friends by secretly attending physical therapy and taking off his wrist brace whenever he’s around them. he knows the competition is stressing them out and he doesn’t want to add any additional burden, just like gun did for his mom. therefore, win offers to be his hand, supporting sound in his physically vulnerable state. in doing this, win also lessens the mental frustration and worry that sound tries to harbor all by himself. in the next episode, win continues to care for sound’s emotional state when he recognizes that sound is upset and checks in on him.

these are obviously not the only times that tinn and win have offered physical and emotional support for their boys. it’s no coincidence that for both tinn and win, the love language they use to express their love is acts of service, which is perfect for two boys who aren’t used to asking for help or showing their weaknesses to others. tinn and win know they can’t wait for gun and sound to ask for help, because they never will. instead, they offer their help in any way they can while still respecting gun and sound’s boundaries, allowing them the space to open up little by little.

gun and sound also learn to value their personal relationships on the same level as their focus on music. in ep 7, we see how love changes both of their perspectives.

for gun, rather than seeing it as a distraction, he realizes that love can be something that inspires his music and motivates him to do better in the competition.

for sound, he votes in favor of love, probably out of solidarity with yo due to his own budding feelings for win but also because he has come to genuinely care about his friends and sees how supporting each other contributes to their morale as a band.

in both instances, gun and sound stop seeing love/friendship and music as isolated parts of their lives, and realize it’s okay to prioritize their own desires.

i believe these similarities in their character arcs are the reason gun and sound are shown to be close friends. they innately recognize their similarities with each other and gravitate together because they know there will always be a level of understanding between them. we can see this when sound tries to protect gun from the “plots” of the student council, when gun allows sound to miss practice for physical therapy and keeps his secret from the band, when sound gravitates towards gun when he’s avoiding win, and when gun reveals his own relationship to sound to offer support and advice to him.

in conclusion, gun and sound began the show in a position that could have made them rivals with an antagonistic relationship that would only deepen each of their flaws. instead, their stories are unfolding in beautiful parallels, allowing them to grow closer as friends and bandmates.

*end of post, as of ep 9/12*

[venus-haze]

You're My Best Friend (Homelander x Reader)

Summary: Homelander was a test tube baby, raised in isolation in a cold, clinical lab. But that doesn’t inspire America, does it? Vought tasks you with creating the idyllic backstory for its hero, and what starts as a limited comic run spirals out of control when Homelander himself demands your help in making the story a reality.

Note: Gender neutral reader, but no other descriptors are used. Based on a request by @crash-and-cure as well as a bastardization of one of the sweetest love songs ever written (sorry, John Deacon!) This got kinda meta? Do not interact if you’re under 18 or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 2k

Warnings: Emotional manipulation, I guess some gaslighting on Homelander’s part? Do not interact if you’re under 18.

When Vought hired you to create their long-awaited Homelander origin comic series, you were thrilled—until they gave you so little information about his childhood to work with, you weren’t even sure you could come up with one comic, let alone the ten they requested. The details about his childhood were minimal, not even a full printed page—a loving mom and dad, played baseball, did well in school, strong sense of justice from a young age, his friends called him “Johnny.” Your requests to meet with Homelander so you could get some stories from the man himself were constantly denied.

You almost considered dropping the project, until you decided to throw caution to the wind and pull from your own childhood and set it in good ol’ generic suburbia. Some of the storylines were based on your own experiences or things that had happened to people you’d grown up with, though you changed enough names and details to not link it to anyone in particular. Except yourself, of course. Using a pseudonym professionally meant you felt no need to change your own name in the comics. Sure, making your cooler fictionalized self Homelander’s childhood best friend was a bit self-indulgent, but no one would know, really.

To your relief, the editors at Vought loved your ideas, making minor changes before bringing the storylines to their comic artists to bring it to life. The result was Finding Homelander: A Boy’s Journey To Be a Hero. The issues flew off shelves when they were first released, ironically praised for their relatability and authenticity. Vought extended your contract, asking you to produce the cartoon adaptation and another ten issues.

Still, in all of that, you’d never met Homelander. A representative from Vought emailed you to let you know to tune in to his interview on a talk show one day, saying that he’d be talking more about the cartoon project on it. You recognized the host, Tracey, always chipper and having some extravagant giveaway for her audience members. Daytime TV was never your thing, though.

“I think what resonates with so many people is how relatable your childhood is,” Tracey said, holding up a copy of Finding Homelander issue #3, where he saved ‘you’ from getting hit in the face with a baseball at one of his games, catching it with ease. It’d been the happy ending to a short storyline of him struggling to find his place on the team and you encouraging him to not give up. “You and Y/N were pretty close, do you still keep in touch?”

“You know, Tracey, not as much as I’d like, unfortunately. Adulthood can be so busy, you need to cherish those childhood memories,” Homelander said. “I did give them a call when the comics first came out, and wow, the laughs we had over those old antics of ours. Talk about a walk down memory lane!”

You guessed the bullshitting was all part of the promotional circuit for Homelander. Knowing this childhood of his was your own fabrication, you couldn’t help but wonder what else about him was fake. Maybe he wanted to maintain his privacy, you could certainly understand that. You couldn’t shake the voice in the back of your mind that said it wasn’t so simple, that the narrative Vought pushed was a cover to hide something in Homelander’s past.

“Now, I’ve heard rumors of a cartoon show based on the comics in the making, is this true?”

“It is! I’m excited for this project, getting back to my ‘roots’ so to speak. I’ll be voicing myself, of course, but it’s funny you’d bring up Y/N, because they’ve agreed to voice themself, too.”

“How fun!” Tracey exclaimed over the roar of the talk show crowd’s applause and cheers. “I guess this is the hopeless romantic in me, but I hope this reconnection leads to something a little more. I’m just a sucker for childhood sweethearts!” 

Homelander laughed along with the host’s giggles, “Well, you never know.”

You balked at the television, mouth agape. Surely he couldn’t be talking about you. ‘Y/N’ could be anyone with your same features. Vought had probably hired a professional voice actor for the role and were pushing the authenticity angle. The whole situation felt odd. 

When you checked your work email again on your phone, you nearly dropped it on the floor. 

SUBJECT: Meeting with Homelander This Week

The email contained a list of days and times throughout the week wherein Homelander would be free, apparently wanting to meet you to thank you for the success of the comic series and discuss upcoming work. Yeah. That last part you sure as hell wanted to discuss too. You responded with the soonest time available, in a meeting room in Vought Tower the following evening. As soon as you hit ‘send’, you wondered what exactly you were getting yourself into.

Anticipation filled your gut as you went about your day leading up to meeting the supe himself. What would he be like, really be like? Was there even a version of Homelander that wasn’t hopelessly manufactured for the masses? You knew then that his upbringing was a lie, and thus stood the probability that so much else was, too. 

When you stepped into that meeting room, you hadn’t been expecting his face to light up at the sight of you. 

“Homelander, hi, it’s great to—“

“No need to be so formal, Y/N! You can call me Johnny, just like old times,” he said cheerfully, in on a joke you clearly hadn’t been aware of.

“Sorry, Johnny,” you said, playing along. “It’s great to see you again.”

He pulled you in for an unexpected hug that you returned. “Figured we should catch up before things really start getting crazy, don’t you think?”

You nodded, your nose brushing against him as you did so. Just as your lips parted to offer an apology, he smiled, shooing away the assistant who’d accompanied him out of the room. 

He sat down, motioning for you to do the same.

“Gotta say, I’m a fan of your work,” he said.

“Thank you,” you said. “I’m not sure I understand exactly what’s going on, though.”

“What’s there to understand? I’m not allowed to know more about my best friend, our lives together growing up?”

“How did you know it was me?”

“Wasn’t hard for me to put two and two together, but considering everyone else around here has their head up their asses, they have no idea,” he said, before lowering his voice conspiratorially and giving you a charming smile. “I haven’t told anyone. What’s a secret between friends?”

You nodded, overwhelmed by the intensity of his attention on you. “What do you want to know?”

He sighed, resting his head on his hand. “Everything.”

So you told him. Not quite everything, of course, but enough to abate his curiosity. At least for the time being. His interviews were sharper, more specific with details rather than rattling off whatever had been in the comics. You watched in shock as convincing photos of his Little League days were posted to his social media accounts, anecdotes provided by his increasingly frequent conversations–or more like interrogation sessions–with you, but in his style, of course. It was almost scary what the graphic design team at Vought could accomplish, not that you’d ever know how, exactly, as they were all under the same strict NDA that you were.

He started spending more time with you, too, and after a while, it did seem like you were old friends. Part of you flinched whenever you called him Johnny, because Johnny wasn’t even real, but with your complacency, this fabrication was slowly morphing into a strikingly tangible memory. With each conversation, he drew you deeper into the world you’d been paid to create for him until you found yourself slipping up.

You’d been showing him a goofy stuffed monkey on your desk, a cute little thing with big sparkling eyes. A prize for getting two out of three at the ring toss. Probably spent more money winning it than it was actually worth, but it was about the effort, the memories made.

“You remember, don’t you? You won it for me at the county fair,” you said without thinking.

He laughed in agreement, as if he actually had. Except he hadn’t. Your high school boyfriend won it for you a week before graduation. Sensing the mood shift, he set down your prize and looked at you with the same intensity he had when you first met.

“It’s been a while since we were there, huh?” he said. “Why don’t we go back?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Go where?”

“Home.”

With a strong arm around your waist, he took off for your hometown. You could hardly tell which way was up or down, he was flying so high, but he didn’t seem to mind the way you clung to him at all. When he finally landed, you recognized the community baseball field where all of his fictional games were set. 

“Geez, it’s like nothing’s changed,” he said cheerfully.

You looked at him in disbelief. How long was he going to expect you to go along with it? Or maybe the question you should have been asking was, how long were you going to enable him? The end wasn’t anywhere in sight as he took your hand, and you walked him through your childhood, further enmeshing him in it until you arrived at the house you grew up in. 

The middle of the day, no one was home, and so you let yourselves in like you owned the place. Suddenly, the house seemed too small for a man like Homelander to occupy, but he was engrossed in the details of it. He scanned the kitchen, no doubt inspecting the contents of the fridge and cabinets with his x-ray vision. Moving onto the living room, he stared at photos on the wall, the magazines and DVDs that were strewn on the coffee table, giving away your parents’ taste in entertainment.

“Which one was your room again?” he asked.

You swore you could feel his breath on the back of your neck as you wordlessly led him to your room. Each step down the hall felt dangerous, as if you were about to walk into a trap. Face-to-face with the closed door, you opened it, standing aside while Homelander looked around, from what you had hanging on the walls to the knick-knacks you’d left behind.

An uncomfortable tension settled over the room when Homelander closed the door of your childhood bedroom. An odd blend of hurt and amusement spread across his face as he observed the way you were eyeing him, body ready to fruitlessly run from him the way a rabbit would a hawk.

“C’mon, after how long we’ve been friends, I would never hurt you,” he said, as if reading your mind. “We’ve been through so much together. I mean, we were each other’s first kiss.”

You froze. Issue #9. That was something Vought’s editors had added, claiming a romance angle would make the series appeal to the younger female demographic. You hadn’t thought much of it at the time.

He slyly backed you into the wall, leaning over you as you slinked down the slightest bit.

“Show me how we did it,” he whispered, his hand caressing your cheek. “So clumsy and nervous, I can even feel you…quivering.”

“Homelander, I don’t know what you’re—“

He tsked. “Y/N.”

You let out a shaky breath, “Johnny—“

He hummed in satisfaction. “It’s alright. I know it’s been a while.”

You let him kiss you, sweetly in a way that put your actual first kiss to shame. His lips were soft against yours, his tender movements intentional as he cradled your face, pulling you the slightest bit closer to him when you kissed him back. 

A sense of familiarity settled over you, warm and comforting like pulling a blanket out of the dryer on a chilly evening. Every time it seemed like you were beginning to overthink the situation with Homelander, he drew you back in with the kiss, a more than effective distraction until you pulled away with a dazed smile on your face.

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

I'm having a déjà-vu that I've already posted about Yuuri's inner monologue at the beginning of episode 3 when he agonises about the stakes the Onsen on Ice has for him, but it's so hilarious that I need to pick it up again.

What cracks me up is that right after explaining that Viktor will return to Russia if Yurio wins, Yuuri goes like, "If I win, Viktor will stay in Japan and be my coach." But Yuuri doesn't think of Viktor skating in Ice Castle or accompanying him during his workout—no, he thinks of Viktor flirting with him on his first night in Hasetsu.

Yes, you've read that right: While Yuuri explains what is at stake for him at the Onsen on Ice, he thinks of Viktor flirting with him.

Note also the warm colours and the blurred lines of the image that add an atmosphere of nostalgia to the scene, like a memory Yuuri holds dear...

...compared to the actual scene in episode 2:

Seems like Yuuri isn't that opposed to Viktor's courtship endeavours, right?

Which leads me to the question: Is there anything else Yuuri wants Viktor to teach him except figure skating?

At this point, Yuuri is far from understanding sexual desire (that will come along with the discovery his Eros over the course of the story). He is also still far from being romantically interested in Viktor. To him, Viktor is a god-like creature he admires and has a crush on since he was 12, an fellow skater Yuuri copied over and over because he secretly craves to become his equal. And that is absolutely enough to be flustered when Viktor becomes flirty, even if the poor boy has no idea how to respond. (for clarification: crush, i.e. superficial fancy ≠ being in love, i.e. butterflies, wanting to date the other person, I had people trying to split hairs over this, no kidding)

Yuuri has been obsessed with Viktor throughout puberty and his entire adult life. That's long enough to have a whole library of fanboy fantasies in his brain. I believe that Viktor becoming his coach is a dream that formed in Yuuri long before the fateful banquet where he made Viktor crush on him. And what would be a better way to catch up to your idol than having said idol teach you? Where this fantasy is, there are bound to be others. After all, fantasies are a safe space, untethered from reality in the sense that the unhinged things Yuuri and Viktor would do in these are entirely decoupled from the things Yuuri would want from the real Viktor at some point in his existence because that fictional Viktor would be an abstract entity to project his fantasies upon, an ooc version of the real Viktor, and the fictional Yuuri would be an ooc version of the real Yuuri (I'm no longer talking about coaching figure skating. I'm talking about "Viktor-sensei, please teach me how to kiss!", or maybe even "Viktor-sensei, I want to do unspeakable things to you, please teach me how!", depending on how you headcanon Yuuri to act when he gets horny)

Yuuri's desire to emulate Viktor (and not necessarily being able to tell this apart from have Viktor around—yes, these two can be intertwined, and there are many hints in YOI that this is the case for Viktuuri), describes a characteristic of same-sex relationships that are depicted in other pieces of media, e.g. Bourne's Swan Lake or the novel Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman (I'd like to point you to that wonderful quote from this book).

I've digressed. My point is that Yuuri has still a long way to go until he figures out his feelings for Viktor. But this scene strongly suggests that he wants more from Viktor than keep on winning and keep on eating katsudon together, even though he might not yet be aware of the full extent of his wish.

If you enjoy my meta posts, please consider giving my blog a follow or checking out my works on AO3 (link in bio). You will find the results of my meta musings in there!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hello again everyone i'm putting on my tinfoil jester hat & passing out Hefty grains of salt. its batshit theory time!

in short: i think Julie is gonna get violent & might end up killing someone - or she'll at least try. and i'm pretty sure something terrible is gonna happen to her.

in long: hoo boy. strap in

first off, i'd like to say that i love womens' wrongs And rights! all of this is said with utmost affection & respect for Julie. i love it when characters do terrible things, its interesting and so tasty for the story and their development <3

second disclaimer: most of this is just based off of what we have / know as of now. which is, admittedly, not much! so despite having short arms, i may be reaching very far! i'll get the based-on-knowledge part of my thoughts out of the way before getting into the more abstract I'm Just Making Shit Up At This Point part (educated guessing, yk yk!)

not sure where to start so i'll begin with what starting this line of thinking - flower symbolism. I've gone a little bit into it in a previous post from a while back (where i just made observations about the neighborhood map), but i'll restate the relevant parts. there are two flowers in the neighborhood with greek myths attached, and similar ones at that: the hyacinths outside of the Post Office, and the sunflowers outside of Frank's house.

most people know the hyacinth myth! Apollo, while playing metal frizbee with his (male) mortal lover Hyacinthus, Apollo's thrown discus bounced off of the ground and accidentally hit Hyacinthus in the head, killing him - then Apollo turned the spilled blood into the hyacinth flower. in another - popular - version of the myth, the wind god Zephyrus was jealous and blew the discus off course to kill Hyacinthus. as for sunflowers: Clytie, a nymph, was in love with Apollo and grew jealous of his relationship with a princess, Leucothoe. Clytie informed Leucothoe's father of the relationship, and he buried Leucothoe alive as punishment. Apollo turned his murdered lover into a sunflower. two flowers attached to greek myths about Apollo falling for a mortal, and that mortal gets murdered by a jealous non-mortal.

next, I would like to bring attention to This Concept Artwork from 2021. now i'm not gonna use this as a definitive "oh this exists so it must mean-" but there are always elements of concept work, especially Canon concept work, that sticks or can allude to themes or information that will be revealed later in the story. concepts are concepts for a reason - it means there's a solid idea that's being explored in depth, most times for use (especially that deep into the story crafting).

specifically, right now i'd like to look at the type of flower Julie is holding. pansies. normal ones + the primary fucked up pansy. pansies are symbols of love - both romantic and platonic, but predominantly platonic. it can also symbolize nostalgia, thought, admiration, remembrance, and can even be used as an "i'm sorry" flower. in victorian times, it was often used to represent forbidden/secret love.

stick with me, i'm getting to the point i promise

now, another thing is how much of Julie's character (meta-wise & in regards to the WH show as a production) is centered around love. her house is the "cutest" or most feminine one in the neighborhood, and it's downright infested with hearts, from the windows to the bushes to the chimney. she exists as Frank's foil, and it's almost definitive that she was meant to be Frank's love interest (there's just. so much evidence that there's no way that's not it). and just look at her! she looks like a love interest! if WH was a real show that i sat down to watch, i'd see her and immediately go "oh, ok, that's her base role"

this contradicts with what we know of her character - Julie seems big on platonic love, loving her friends, but other than that? she very much steps around what her house/character design is trying to say. she's hopscotching right over what the production wants from her. the only thing she kinda sticks with is the whole flower thing

but. but but but. i wonder! after the update, I'm pretty confident that the neighbors are influenced by the "script" and the workshop, even if they're not aware of it. see: the difference in how they act in the "recovered media" (where they behave more like they're characters playing out a bit, their dialogue has no natural lulls and it just sounds like a (really good) script) vs the 14 audios & the phone calls (natural dialogue, they seem more layered & like actual people instead of just characters, there's no set shenanigan - they're just doing their own things). and we can assume that the latter audios are from the neighbors off-script off-the-air.

despite this, they still somewhat try to fill their roles. the question is: how much of that is authentic, and how much is them still feeling that pressure to perform? just like how We as people feel pressure and expectation from societal rules/norms, even if we're not conscious of it. like, say... kids growing up thinking being queer is wrong, even if they've never been directly exposed to / made aware of homophobia/transphobia. We fill in the absence of being told "this is right" with "it must be wrong", and We act accordingly

so apply that to sapient puppets who were (again, most likely) made with set relationships, dynamics, and character details in mind. they're meant to be This Way, even if they want to be That Way, and that internal "programming" has to conflict, at least a little. like how I've seen Clown mention that homophobia will/may be a theme, and the only way i can see that happening among puppets who have never been directly exposed to it is if the above happens: they feel pressure from something they're unaware of. expectation from a "higher" plane of existence. as above, so below.

OKAY NOW WE'RE GETTING TO IT I PROMISE! blend this all together into Frank & Eddie catching feelings. they weren't meant to fall in love. they're not supposed to be together. it's - from the perspective of Playfellow & society (in the time period WH was active/created) - wrong.

Julie is supposed to be with Frank. Frank is supposed to be with Julie. in a way, they are together - they're best friends. they're foils. they were created to compliment each other and click. in the media audios, they're almost always together. if one of them is in a scene, so is the other.

so what happens if Frank starts to pull away? if he starts to spend more time with Eddie - what if Julie feels like she's being pushed out? what if she asks Frank to come play, only to be told he already has plans with Eddie, and if Julie tries to join in, what if Frank tells her no?

if it were me in this situation, I think I'd start to panic a little. everything has always been the same - it's always been Frank and Julie. that's how it's supposed to be. Frank and Eddie, well that's just - that's just wrong! and if, at this hypothetical point in the story, things are tangibly starting to degrade/go wrong, Julie might cling even harder, panic even more.

you see where I'm going with this? what i meant with the flower symbolism and what it could point to?

their world is falling apart, and Julie's one constant - Frank, her best friend, her grumpy rock - is pulling away. for Eddie. the mailman. and so what if the jealous "lover" takes action? Julie can make things go back to normal. she needs Frank, and in her mind she's losing him, but she can't lose him. she can't. and maybe that little whisper of expectation that she can't hear but feels nonetheless, fuels this fire. it makes her feel justified, makes her feel the need to act and "correct" this. maybe if she gets rid of the distraction, Frank's love and attention will be hers once more.

i mean, people do insane things when they're under that much pressure. from current probably-horrible events, a loss of control in their own life, their closest person seemingly distancing themselves, subconscious pressure from societal expectation. especially when it comes to love - platonic or romantic. w/ Julie, i'm pretty sure it's platonic in regards to Frank. though she is bi, so you never know! could be both!

and maybe it won't be about Frank & Eddie, if any of this turns out to even a little right. maybe there's a factor I'm not considering or haven't seen yet. but i really do think that there are things pointing to it.

like yeah, the Concept Art linked above. the caption saying "liar", the specific species of flower, Julie holding it over her mouth as if keeping a secret, the hammer. not sure if the person standing over her is her primary puppeteer, an abstract, or something else (it seems cracked?) but that's not what this theory is about!

then there's the flower patch - both behind her in the concept art, and the one behind her house on the map. it's striking me now that the two look very similar. they have mostly the same flowers, even. blue/yellow/white/orange "daisies", some daffodils, what i think are roses (it's hard to tell specifics on the map). an odd choice to make them so similar (unless it's coincidence!).

when I first saw the patch, my immediate thought was "holy shit is that a body dump?!" bc it's oddly green compared to the rest of the map, it's placed at a noticeable distance behind Julie's house - as if it's supposed to be "hidden", and it's the lushest spot in the neighborhood. now, to provide a counterargument to my own claim: it could be very green because that's how things are shaded, it looks like it's at a distance from the house bc the map is 2D, and its the lushest spot bc Julie's all about flowers - also, i doubt flowers would spontaneously grow since we can assume none of them are real. it's a puppet world of props. but who knows.

(and okay this might or might not be relevant but we can assume Julie is the one who made the chalk drawings on the path, right? i think there's a spiral in front of her house. just making a note of it.)

and there's just how much "pressure" seems to be on Julie compared to the others. she doesn't match her house. she doesn't fit her "role" the way she's meant to. AND OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT - by the swingset, there's now a bowling ball and what looks like red scissors. idk about you guys but i associate scissors with Eddie. he's all about crafts, after all! now i'm really reaching but hey? murder weapon? Julie does seem fond of bowling balls... that's a perfect bludgeoning weapon to have on hand (in abundance!)

in conclusion, i just think Julie has major potential to do some deliciously fucked up stuff. in fact, i hope she does! it could be handled/done in an absolutely fascinating way, and could have intriguing consequences.

who knows, maybe i'm right about her trying to get rid of Eddie (not out of malice or anything, just fear & pressure), and there'll be a whole thing where he keeps on coming back, completely unaware that she tried to off him, bc he's a puppet and it's probably really tough to kill something that wasn't really alive in the first place. i mean, in This Observation post i made about some new map secrets, there's a strange window shine on the Post Office door that could be spelling out either "nexus" or "new us". that plus the apparent extra hands/faces behind the door... Eddie is quite accident prone. who's to say he's not used to being replaced by himself? it's not like he'd remember. or is that the reason his memory is bad? holy shit wait - no wait this is a tangent. sorry. this post is about Julie lmao maybe i'll make a different post for this Eddie Thought i just had bc ough. ough...

and also, before anyone tries to come at me - because there's always people who twist words to Start Shit or misinterpret/miss the point - i'm not saying that Julie is like... homophobic. or hates Eddie. or is a "jealous crazy-" just. yk? and if you think that, maybe reread the post. or take a reading comprehension class &lt;3

AS FOR THE SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENING TO JULIE. this is based on Two things and also Vibes. this section will be mercifully short compared to the rest of this clusterfuck of a post

so in the Livestream Trivia doc compiled by @/theneighborhood watch, yes i'm referencing this again sorry, there's this tidbit:

that, plus This Artwork, which features Julie (they're her shoes!) standing at the edge of an apparent chasm (the edge of the set, i assume) paints an interesting hypothetical picture. maybe she wanders a little too far and falls off the edge of her world. maybe she discovers something and Wally has to do something he doesn't want to do, but "needs" to. hey, who knows. maybe she is gonna hurt / try to hurt someone, and in an attempt to save them / stop her, Wally pushes her - either accidentally or on purpose, either way the end result would be the same. now I'm just pulling things out of my ass so lets move on lmao

then there's the Unknown Record in the website's media section. i actually recorded the audio and sped it up - i'll post that video later - and it seems to be an excerpt from Alice in Wonderland. the only part of it i've been able to clearly pick out is "Alice found herself falling down.... down... down..." followed by, presumably Alice speaking - who's high pitched voice reminds me of Julie's. so that's another point in the Julie Goes Bye-Bye Via Rapid Descent theory. or just goes temporarily missing! it could be that the only relevant part of the above trivia tidbit is the "falling down a cavern", and not the "never seen again" part. but it could. be. both.

though! though. Clown has stated that if all the neighbors were to take on roles in Alice in Wonderland, Wally is the one who would be Alice. which follows his direct connection to the spiral/eye pit, and the phrase "down the rabbit hole". so it could be either or. it could be both! it could be neither! this is all speculation, which brings us to....

the end! we made it! i hope you're still carrying your Hefty grains of salt! soon you'll be able to fill a large chicken-shaped shaker with it all!

[monster-noises]

not to be basic but 1 and 2 from that meta ask meme?

all the question are on the list for a reason Anon! no need to put yourself down for it v-v 1&2 are Excellent questions I"m happy to answer! now. I Imagine you intended this for Lazarus, But! you were not specific so you will now get a Very long post about Everyone >:3c (and by everyone I mean the main 3 characters I consider 'Bartholomew's Nasty Little Bastards')

First up, of course, we will do Lazarus! 1. What inspired you to create your oc?

The really obvious answer here is Re8, my instant consuming love for it and for Karl, the overwhelming need to like... Participate, somehow, in that world, but not being able to cross the Full self-insert hurdle.. He's basically a very Warped-beyond-recognition version of a self-insert, a guy all his own but in somewhere still very Connected to the Me. But the more like.. in depth stuff, like what inspired Lazarus to Be Who He Is is like.. I love like.. weird Art Gore, Body-As-Art kinda shit, Meaningful and disturbing.. somehow Comforting and he's kinda the perfect vessel for that. I've had the Human Taxidermy Artist thing floating around the back of my mind for a decade or so just Waiting for a place to land and Laz was a golden opportunity v-v.

2.Why does your oc look the way they do? What are your reasons for their appearance? When I was settling Lazarus's design I wanted him to have this appearance of like, a very refined and elegant individual; beautiful in a sort of Severe way, but twist it up ever so slightly so he registers as Uncanny and Gross. Beauty Hiding Filth and all that. (just think about how many Fluids get into that Velvet Ensemble on the daily, it's Not Good.) Like the way his pants cut him and the vertical lines make him just All Leg. And his pallid bloodstained skin which makes him look like a Walking Corpse, hair slicked back with its own grease.. a figure that's bewitching and unsettling to witness also yes, the hair is Both a Me thing and a Bride of Frankenstein thing.

Virgil always feels right coming Second on these things.. 1. Inspiration Virgil is ooooooooooold, he's so Old, virgil is Ancient Virgil is possibly my oldest still-in-use OC, I created him a Looooooong ass time ago. like 2010 Long Ass Time. That is to say I do not know Why she exists.

Okay, Not entirely true. I made her for a comic I was writing with my friend at the time. She was my part of the main villain pair, but I do Not remember how I ended up on Toxicologist prodigy but make it Cowboy (which was always a bit of a misnomer for the vibe but nowadays Especially he's less Johnny Cash more Nickleback) I Think, I Think, what I wanted was to have a character that contrasted the Hardest against my friends main villain? who was very Orderly and Serious and Efficient?? beats me though that was So long ago.. I was also just listening to a Lot of Nickleback-esk music at the time, which may have been an influencing factor lmao

2. Appearance Virgil's appearance is pretty simple to explain, all told! He's a Country Boy/Girl, rowdy and ostentatious, and very secure in her understanding of that part of herself. It's where she comes from, and despite his rocky relationship with home it's who he is, y'know? The brightest (and most dangerous) mind in Toxicology doesn't Have to look exactly how you'd Expect her to look now does she? (Virgil pictured here on the Right)

Now our wonderful little Ulysses vwv)/ 1. Inspiration oh this is an Interesting one!! Ulysses (and Charlie, for that matter) came from 2 distinct places to land where they are now.. From time to time I like to entertain the idea of starting a band and having a musical career of some kind, something that blends my love of folk/bluegrass, prog-rock, and power metal into a loud villainous and exhilarating sound. and a few years back, as I was getting into Bluegrass for the first time, I was struck by a Concept for a Concept Album. It was called The Book of Brother UIysses; the story of a sniveling little priest in the frontier days and his Cursed Book, following him around as he fed townsfolk to whatever entity lived in its pages until he was finally Consumed himself. I toyed with it for a bit and eventually put it back on the shelf until the Musical Fancy struck me once more, untiiiiil I was listening to friends at the table: sangfielle and had both a deep desire to do a Horror-Fantasy Western ttrpg And satisfy my ever-present desire to weasel my way into playing two characters at once.. and I pulled ol' Ulysses off the shelf again and made some.. Additions. This has evolved now into them being just like.. free floating OC's? I don't plan on making a comic out of them, I would Still love an opportunity to play them in a TTRPG setting, but I'm not Banking on it, and hey, who knows, maybe I Will make that album someday, but for now they just kinda amorphously Exist within Something resembling a Narrative in my head after a long and complicated journey...

2. Appearance Similar to Lazarus, I wanted Ulysses to be unsettling, but in a Slightly different way. He's too clean- his all black outfit is never grimy, he is clean shaven his hair perfectly quaffed, with that plastered on grin, under eyes obscured by reflective glasses the vibes are just Immediately Off. To the flip side of that I always wanted him to look kinda.. pathetic. When we see him outside of his Persona as The Keeper of the Book, as just a man that is still Human in many ways; he's just.. small, waifish, behind the glasses his eyes are big and jittery, like a pray animal caught in a snare and still trying to fight its way out..

[intuitive-revelations]

“Guardians of the Edge”

Want to do a breakdown of the episode at some point, but this whole thing deserved its own post (heh...). So, what’s the deal with the ‘Edge’?

The telephone pole is interesting, but at first glance doesn’t seem to mean much other than a bit of abstract imagery to do with networks, as in the brain and memory centers.

I count 15 conductors (I’m sure there’s a proper name, but no idea what) on the post, with varing numbers of wires coming off them. Possible this might have something to do with regenerations, as since Hartnell there have been 15 regenerations at this point (including War, Metacrisis-Ten and Dhawan)? I thought the placement could possibly have something to do with the cycles (so 12 together, 3 separate) but that doesn’t seem to match up. Alternatively, excluding Dwawan it could represent 15 Doctor incarnations (including One as well as War and Metacrisis-Ten again.

Wires are much harder to count. I’m not even sure if it’s consistent between shots, as my counts have ranged from 26-34, though there’s also a lot of bloom in the sky and some are very close together, so it may be consistent after all. The number of connections seems to vary. If there were only one or two one-link conductors I would have assumed something to do with the before and after of each regeneration, with those potentially being Thirteen and the Meta-Crisis offshoot, with another with three maybe being Ten′s life, but that doesn’t seem to work.

Alternatively, maybe numbers of TV companions? (I haven’t checked if that could be accurate, but if anyone wants to test it feel free to run with it.)

As for the location, red dirt and rocks with an yellow-orange-blue sky immediately brings Gallifrey to mind. Of course it doesn’t need to be anywhere in particular, as the whole thing is a metaphor, but the dry terrain and surrounding mountains looks a lot like the Prydonian Drylands, which has of course been an important location for the Doctor. If it’s evening and the Suns are in the east (which they are for Gallifrey), then the mountains seen are probably part of the long range leading down from Prydonia and the Capitol to Southern Gallifrey proper.

There’s a few squarish structures that almost look like sunken buildings, but also could well just be rocks, it’s too hard to tell.

Notably, the ‘Edge’ not only seems to appear out of nowhere but also seems to move around slightly in distance from the post, suggesting perhaps that if this is based on a real location that it’s not a true part of it.

Personally, I think it’s appearance is likely strongly related to...

And yes, this works extremely well if you interpret the boy in the Timeless Child story as a previous (re)incarnation of the Master. Even if not literally true, the symbolism of the childhood friend pushing the other off a cliff in a jealous fight certainly works wonders.

I think the rest of the location is different however, since the rest of it looks like part of the Drylands, whereas the Timeless Child’s fall was almost certainly much closer to Mount Cadon, pretty much halfway between Mount Lung and the Academy (which I got during my Gallifrey map project, based on elements like the kids playing, the direction Tecteun approached, the Suns’ positions, surroundings etc.).

Fun fact, getting the above picture from Ascension of the Cybermen, I also noticed that some telephone / powerlines are also visible in Brendan’s story - apart for some fencing it’s the only sign of civilisation at the clifftop. 100% coincidental, but it’s fun annecdotal evidence for the Timeless Child backstory being the reason for the Edge subconsciously looks the way it does.

Little detail I didn’t notice originally watching, but I love - Eight isn’t the only one who diverged from the robes. Small continuity error I think in that he’s wearing it on his ring finger rather than middle finger, but I love the signet ring here

There’s also a little An Adventure in Space and Time music cue here, which was also used in The Doctor Falls / Twice Upon a Time.

The patterns on the robes don’t seem to be anything. Maybe some “daisy-est daisy“ / “blossomy-est blossom” symbolism with some of the flower-like patterns on One and Seven’s inner robes? One also does appear to have a pattern based on the Seal of Rassilon on his sleeves. Five has a recurring pattern that could almost be a sort of High Gallifreyan, while Six has what weirdly looks like a “3″ fabric pattern flipping backwards and forwards on his inner robes.

The red robes actually remind me a bit of the Merlin!Doctor - “Muldwych”? Colin in particular has an interesting resemblance with the pure-red robes and his larger frame.

Eight my beloved

As for why these specific incarnations? Beyond Doylist reasons of Tom being busy, actor deaths and New Who actors possibly being saved for next year, or at least being harder to get in (though in some ways I’m surprised David wasn’t used for a bit of foreshadowing)?

My person interpretation is that the similarity with Zagreus is quite deliberate. It was ultimately Five, Six and Seven who appeared to help Eight with his body being hijacked, so in a ‘life flashes before your eyes’ scenario, it’s not surprising that the Doctor’s subconscious imagining those personalities to help.

Hell, Eight even appears in his own outfit, as if he was the Doctor experiencing these events, because he has before! While it’s of course his looser Time War / Night of the Doctor outfit, it’s not hard to imagine the anti-time infected Eight of the audio in his worn out and damaged original outfit looking quite similar.

Presuambly this is the same place, at least metaphysically, that Eight met Five, Six and Seven. Like with Thirteen, they greeted and congratulated him, though in their case the mood turns sour as they realise Eight lost determination and thus the regeneration process stalled (which I always thought Night of the Doctor paralleled pretty nicely, with Eight essentially commiting suicide and failing to regenerate from Cass’s ship crash).

This might make the pole a visualisation of the Doctor’s Medulla Oblongata, which the past Doctors mention in Zagreus, though there it seems to appear as a constellation in the sky.

EIGHT: So what happens now? FIVE: Oh, you'll regenerate. You'll see this blaze of light, a comet across the medulla oblongata. SEVEN: A new star. SIX: Any second now.

As for One. Of course he’s a bit of a special rule as the ‘first’ kind of, but given he was the one that helped Twelve with his regeneration it’s not surprising he reappears here. His appearance could almost be considered a sequel, given that Twice Upon a Time featured his struggle with his own upcoming regeneration and now we get to catch up on him on the other side, with his sub-personality getting to speak with Thirteen, the result of Twelve’s regeneration, after going the ‘long way round’.

Finally on a meta-level, there is something interesting with the ‘ruining it for the next one’ line. It may be nothing... but could be considered a bit of a dig at Ten, not just with what’s happening with the 60th, but even the whole “I don’t want to go” thing, which I always considered a really rough way to hand over the show to Moffat and Matt after an extremely popular Doctor/era.

(And that’s not even mentioning the Metacrisis, the in-universe most extreme version of this, which Eleven also joked about with the “vanity issues” comment back in Time of the Doctor, and one could almost theorise left an erased incarnation somewhere between the Doctor’s “twelfth and final incarnations”...).

Granted, you could make the same criticism for Twelve’s regeneration reluctance going into Thirteen, though I’d argue that was handled way more tastefully (plus Twice Upon a Time‘s story arguably only exists because of Chibnall’s plans for releasing Series 11 anyway).

Personally, I see three options:

It’s nothing, purely a bit of heartwarming in-universe wording about handing over between incarnations (perhaps even lightly acknowledging the Six-Seven-Valeyard thing in the VNAs, given it’s Six who says it?).

It’s Chibnall having a dig at RTD (or possibly the BBC, if there was some upper-level pressure for Tennant’s return, as rumoured by tabloids for years) for the reasons above.

Best case scenario, IMHO? It is a bit of a dig at Ten, but it’s a deliberate in-universe setup for RTD to tell the story of whatever’s happening with Ten and Fourteen (yeah I don’t like calling Ncuti Fifteen either) which will confront it, in the same way this whole segment and the ‘degeneration’ process sets it up.

[luckydragon10]

I am personally begging (self-respect? I don’t know her) for your kimchay commentary! Pretty please with sugar on top and the smiley face Chay put on Kim’s eggs please

OMG, somebody wants me to TALK and SHARE THOUGHTS about KIMCHAY.

How can I say no? (Obviously I can't.)

In that case, lemme talk about slow burn, my dear friend.

Look, look, here's the thing. I came into this series thinking Kinn and Porsche would have a goooood long slow burn enemies-to-lovers situation. Then Kinn caught lust in ep 2 and started pursuing his man by the end of ep 3. That's not a slow burn. That's, what, medium burn at best? (I'm not complaining, mind you. I'm still quite satisfied with the two lead characters, tysm.)

Vegas and Pete had a full pause for the first half of the series, but when things got into motion, they moved at a very fast clip.

KimChay? That's for slow burn lovers.

It's a story told in small, spaced-out bits and pieces, building gradually. The characters are subtle and hard to grasp, requiring a great deal of attention and curiosity to get a good handle on them, especially Kim. The relationship is fraught with plot hooks and dramatic irony. Even when things started to develop and look promising, the KimChay audience could only hold our breath because we knew it could not last with the given narrative at the time. So while KP and VP fans were alternately screaming their heads off, the KC onlookers could only wait...wait...wait for the inevitable shoes to fall.

(Chay, don't you know where you are in the narrative, honey? YOU'RE NOT THERE YET, hold on.)

The first shoe fell in episode 11 with the identity reveal and heartbreak. Then holy shit did the other shoe fall in episode 12, and it was glorious. Kim storming into the bar, and then Kim and Chay having a proper confrontation, each of them hot-blooded and properly pissed off... yes, thank you, I'll take it.

(Side note: And, just to be clear, I'm not waiting for smut here. It isn't gonna happen, and frankly I don't want it. I'm hanging out for these two to get on the same page and really understand each other, and the fight was an essential step that had to come first.)

Anyway, ep 12 was extremely satisfying to me, and now it's back to waiting for these two lost, lonely boys to get their shit together.

Before episode 12, I know a lot of people in the fandom were predicting that KimChay could be left open ended at the end of the season. For my part, I could see that as a good narrative possibility... at least before the episode 12 shitstorm. With the direct confrontation changing the game and the direction of the story, I think it's looking more likely that we could see a clearer resolution. Of course, an open ??? ending for KimChay is still on the table, but narratively speaking? To me it doesn't feel as likely as it did an episode ago.

Xref, please see also some of these other amazing, recent metas, all of which I highly recommend:

I’m starting to get Kim (@shortpplfedup)

KimChay are KP in reverse (@surrealsunday)

Kim and his 3 personas (laughsalot3412)

I also chatted KimChay at the end of my Episode 12 Line of Power post.

Toodles for now!

[aprillikesthings]

moar rewatch

s1! ep2 and 3!

Bow's voice actor's work here is so good lolol

Nice work establishing that only Adora can do the transformation thing with the magic sword

Man someone on youtube has to have done one of those therapist deep-dives on their relationship. So much of their interactions are just painfully accurate for the way a kid reacts to an abusive parent--that combination of fear and resentment and still wishing you could make them happy, just once.

My family didn't have a golden child vs. scapegoat thing going on, though. I wonder if this is based on the writers' own experiences or if one of them read about that dynamic or had a therapist consulted or what

oof too real 😬

anyway Free Palestine

even cartoons know that murdering civilians and/or destroying their homes makes you the bad guy

There's some parallels here with kids who grew up in conservative/evangelical families realizing their family's politics and faith weren't based around Jesus at all but were based around bigotry and small-minded cruelty and knowing they have to leave, and knowing ND Stevenson's background I assume it's intentional

"You've known these people for, what, a couple of hours? and you're going to throw everything away for them?"

:( and to Catra, this just feels like a betrayal. There's a meta post somewhere way back in my tags that was like, from Catra's POV, Adora knew how shitty Shadow Weaver treated Catra and that wasn't enough to rebel and leave, but knowing Glimmer and Bow for a handful of hours was, and how much that had to hurt like hell, considering Catra put up with Shadow Weaver's abuse for so long in part to protect Adora and in part because it meant her and Adora were still together

Ugh this is why I love this show, Catra's actions are sometimes just awful but they make sense given what we know about her life, and right now she's just panicking and trying to hide it

And meanwhile Bow and Glimmer are like "actually we've decided we trust you :) can you be fancy sword lady again thanks!"

Like of course Adora is going to pick Bow and Glimmer and not Catra in that moment!!

"Is that....Adora?" "It's She-ra!"

Yeah that's not gonna be the source of weird "who the fuck even AM I" feelings later ha ha ha amiright

Also along with all the other weirdness of suddenly being bigger/different outfit etc, like, She-Ra is not only WAY stronger, but also knows how to fight in that body and with that sword. Like having muscle memory you didn't know you had. That's gotta be WEIRD. (I mean, there's also memories that clearly aren't hers, too)

Poor bb is scared, mad, and kinda turned on (shhhh I can headcanon whatever I want)

I called Yellow Diamond a clod, right to her face!!

("You made that joke the first time you saw this ep April" It's just a good joke okay!!)

OKAY EPISODE OVER

EP 3

Glimmer: everyone hates Horde soldiers but I think people will love you as She-Ra YOU JUST HAVE TO BE SHE-RA HA HA IT'LL BE FINE

Adora, internally: I'm only valuable/acceptable/lovable as long as I can be She-Ra, a person who isn't entirely me and that I don't know how to control and feel extremely weird about, got it

LOL I FORGOT HOW THEY GOT SWIFT WIND

whether the sword's edges are sharp or not is entirely dependent on whether someone needs it to be or not pffft

ouch

lol this would be such a wild cosplay to do

(a quick image google says the original is far more popular for cosplay; only a couple of people have done this version)

"Adora's gone, she's defected. And I'm starting to think she had the right idea!"

...okay how tempted do we think Catra actually was to just fucking leave.

Once again: intentional parallels to high-control religious groups

But the reference to Lord Hordak specifically also has shades of "Just wait until your father finds out what you did!" which is, uh, a little uncomfortably close to home ngl

DEEP SIGH

boy do I hate how familiar this is

I used to get so scared it would make my stomach hurt, and I'd shake the same way Catra does here, which sometimes made him angrier

jesus christ

okay how much of my love of Catra as a character is bc I can empathize with her in moments like this one (I was never as openly rebellious or back-talking as she is though; any disagreement got me screamed at)

I mean on the other hand Hordak is like "bitch, I know you've been doing this whole Golden Child/Scapegoat bullshit, so if your Golden Child fucked off and the Scapegoat is all you've got left then congrats that's on you, dumbass."

Catra thought she was gonna be murdered and instead she got a promotion

OKAY BUT ahahah oh god

IF Hordak had actually punished Catra or even threatened her in any way, I feel like Catra would, in fact, have left. There would be nothing left for her in the Horde, right? So why not leave?

But Hordak didn't promote Catra because he personally believes in her abilities, he did it to piss off Shadow Weaver. Then again maybe he knows that promoting Catra means she'll stay loyal.

Because it works, doesn't it. Oof. Catra wants to prove herself, dammit; and she's been given a shot at doing it, so she's staying.

Aaaugh.

OKAY that's 3 episodes out of 52. I think I'm done for today. No guarantees, though. Also there's no way I can do this for every single episode. >_<

[creatureshrieks]

As a disclaimer to my Laurie post please keep in mind that for my personal writing and interpretation of Laurie, I stick specifically to the original Halloween film released in 1978. I am only going to be discussing this film in this post, too. I stick specifically with this idea of Laurie when it comes to my headcanons, how I write her personality, and her interactions with Michael. I do not follow any sequels, reboots, or continuities, though I do sparingly take minor inspiration from some (as in Laurie going to college to be a teacher due to her one timeline where she works at a school or for her slasher verse where she kills a innocent man and is put into a sanitarium due to them believing Michael damaged her too much). If I did have to pick any timeline, however, I most likely would default to the 2018 timeline specifically because this the only timeline in which Laurie not only survives, but also is not connected to the Thorn continuity in any capacity. Michael might be the face of Halloween, but I can't see him without Laurie, too. They're two halves of the same coin - which is what I'll get into later! It also continues with JLC's Laurie which is where I base my Laurie from. I do know there was a reboot with Rob Zombie and, though I have seen it, due to that Laurie being drastically different in age and personality and even ending with her death, I will not follow it for my own personal writing of Laurie's characterization. That said I don't... really delve too deep into Kills/Ends either. I'm fine with the original movie, thank you. This is, of course, subject to change when it comes to writing with fellow Halloween muses, especially with different interpretations of Michael, but I will not incorporate that into my main timeline for her just to keep things simple. My Laurie's timeline is completely original following the first movie. Thank you&lt;3

With that out of the way, let's get to discussing Laurie, the literal final girl template that arguably pushed that trope into the main spotlight. She is the template that all future Final Girls have come from (I will not discuss her difference with earlier Final Girls and why Laurie is arguably 'the' first iteration of the trope we love and not just a girl who survived until the end. That's too meta for this post).

When we first see Laurie, we immediately get an understanding of her character even from the first handful of minutes, those first bits of dialogue. We even get who she is from the clothes she wears! She's the good girl, the babysitter. She's dependable, she's smart. She's also shy. Let's start with her clothing:

Just look at this outfit! It looks nice on her, it's pretty, but lets compare it to her friends. Her first outfit is a light cardigan that covers a long sleeved turtleneck while she's at school. Her skirt is just above the knee (it's not short!), and it continues into tights and penny loafers. She looks 'mature', but more like an older woman, not a teenager. She doesn't like to show her skin, she's layered. It's sensible, it's mature. She looks like a stereotypical tutor you meet in the library to help you with calculus. Compare this to her friends - They're wearing jeans, blouses. One is smoking a cigarette and the other forgot all her books vs Laurie who is carrying her entire school workload with her. They're also dressed mature, but in an attempt to get attention. They want to be women that men go for, not girls in their last year of high school. We might not view it that way now due to clothing and fashion changes, but these girls are dressing for attention! They want boys to look at them! They want to dress hot (they're both 18 in the film, mind you. The youngest is Laurie who is turning 18 in a few months). Annie is also notorious for literally not wearing a bra, by the way. Also notice that Laurie is the only one that doesn't tie her hair back! She's shy, she's reserved. She says she's too smart. She's different from her friends. Now, her second outfit is put on after school - and after she sees Michael Myers three separate times.

In her second outfit in the movie, Laurie puts on pants. This can probably be inferred to the fact she’s going babysitting and wants to dress for the job, but she also is less “feminine” in pants after being frightened by Michael three times. She's less exposed, more defensive. She doesn't yet think of Michael as a threat that's going to come crashing through her door, but she doesn't feel safe. Now, this might seem similar to what her friends were wearing to school, even if she’s wearing jeans, they’re not so body-hugging as Lynda and Annie. Even when she takes off all her layers, she still keeps a sweater on. When we see Annie later, she's also dressed down even further into loose fitting flannel and tank-top. No matter what, Laurie is always more covered than her friends. Then we get her final look:

Her blue button up tucked into her pants. This final look still covers her - even during her fight with Michael it doesn’t ever get unbuttoned unlike Annie who took off her clothes to clean them and Lynda who was entirely naked when Michael attacks her. Throughout the film, Laurie is the most consistently covered out of all the main victims shown. We never see over her elbows in the entire film until Michael himself tears into her shirt with his knife right after she sees her friends. That's the only section of skin Laurie shows that’s higher than her elbows for the entire film, obviously not counting her face. Keep in mind that Michael is the driving force behind Laurie in this movie, which we get told almost directly. However, for organization purposes let's keep all Michael and Laurie discussion until the end after Laurie has had her time to shine. Alone.

Laurie and her bedroom:

This part will be smaller, but I feel as if it's just as important to talk about Laurie's bedroom because it does offer us some insight into her character - as well as a small easter egg!

It's almost funny how much this room reflects the clothing she wears at the time. Browns, beige. There's no color here and, in fact, Laurie is more decorated than her walls! There's nothing there except a poster, some small pictures, and a hat. Her room doesn't have much personality to it and judging by her bed with how small it is, it's clear this is very much her childhood room. The items here are probably things she's had for years and hasn't bothered to change. She's never had a reason to - and mind you, her parents are not poor. Her father runs a very successful real estate business and her mother stays at home. Laurie is decently well off enough to get a bed befitting of an 18 year old if she wanted. The only item that clearly doesn't look like it's from her childhood is the poster for James Ensor. This is actually a fun detail! James Ensor was a Belgian painter most famous for his macabre and grotesque imagery involving people in masks. :)

Due to how Laurie dresses and the state of her room, we get some defining traits - sensibility, maturity, and innocence.

Innocence is a huge part of Laurie's character and is why she's the one to survive as well as the one to be the obsession of Michael. And you could not have Laurie Strode without Michael Myers.

The very first time we see Michael and Laurie together in any capacity is when she directly approaches his house and leaves a key with her name on it, leaving it right there for Michael Myers to find. We also get a brief look at Laurie's character here! Tommy Doyle mentions that it's a cursed house, a bad house. A "spook house". Laurie shouldn't approach - but she does. She doesn't believe in scary stories or that anything like ghost and the boogeyman are real. She also sings a love song after she drops off the key. Laurie is a romantic, if even slightly! She is jealous of her friends. She wants a boyfriend. Laurie wants what her friends have, but it's exactly the fact she does not have those traits that keeps her alive. She's not like Annie. She's not like Lynda. She's not like Judith. She's innocent and for Michael, innocence is not something he knows.

The second time we see Michael is while Laurie is at school. He has followed her, stalked her, and he wants her to see him. He wants Laurie to notice him, to be scared by him. And Laurie sees him, staring at him outside of the school window until her teacher interrupts her to talk about a very interesting topic: Fate.

Teacher: [...] You see, fate caught up with several lives here. No matter what course of action Collins took, he was destined to his own fate, his own day of reckoning with himself. The idea is that destiny is a very real, concrete thing that every person has to deal with. How does Samuels' view of fate differ from that of Costaine's? Laurie? Laurie: Costaine wrote that fate was somehow related only to religion, where Samuels felt that, well, fate was like a natural element, like earth, air, fire and water. Teacher: That's right, Samuels definitely personified fate. In Samuels’ writing fate is immovable like a mountain. It stands where man passes away. Fate never changes.

(Just a fun connection: Samuel Loomis is almost a Cassandra-like character, a man that prophesied Michael's attacks on Haddonfield and was never believed. Funny how he predicted fate like that)

This part is just spectacular. It is genuinely such a spectacular moment that defines so much of Laurie and Michael and their never ending battle and unless you knew about them, unless you knew their tale, this line could fade away into the background. It could be little more than school-related dialogue they threw in for the scene. But it's not. Michael is the personification of Laurie's destiny, her fate. He is immovable, unshakable, his obsession is what drives Laurie and her mere existence is what drives Michael. He is fate. He is Laurie's fate. He is what changes her, shapes her. They are the perfect enemy, two halves of a coin that leave marks on each other that forever change each other. Laurie is no longer the innocent babysitter, Michael took that innocence from her. Michael is no longer contented to sit at Smith's Grove, staring at walls. He wants Laurie and he wants her dead. Fate caught up with several people on Halloween. Michael caught up with several people on Halloween. It stands where man passes away. Fate bonds them, it changes them.

This is also from a deleted scene, but there is also a part where Lynda comes to Laurie's home and asks to borrow a shirt from her while also stating she believes she saw Michael stalking her. While Lynda goes to search for the blouse she wants to wear, Laurie once again sings her song again as she stands by the door and looks for Michael. It's almost funny how even subconsciously she repeats motions when it comes to him, that even if she doesn't realize it yet she has sealed her fate with him. He is only waiting for his time to strike while Laurie, defensive and uncertain, waits for the night to end. Waits for the boogeyman to disappear.

But metaphorical fate is not all that bonds them - Laurie is the only one to actually hurt Michael before Loomis arrives to shoot him. She is his only survivor, the only one that fought back against him. The only one that stabbed him, the one that took his eye. She left him with far more wounds than he left her, though to Laurie his single knife wound to her runs far deeper. It scars her, a permanent reminder of what she lost. Her friends. Her sheltered life. Her innocence.

[harringtontmaa]

⚡ — META :   steve  +  nancy  ( seasons 1 - 3 )

   well, here we go !   i’m going to talk about steve’s relationship with nancy  &  i’m going to do it in great detail  —  much to steve’s dislike.  this post going to be broken up by season,  &  it’s going to be extremely long  &  it’s probably going to hurt both steve  &  me,  &  maybe you, too, if you read it.

                                            i do just want to start off with the disclaimer that a lot of this will be more my analysis of the canon than personal headcanon, though i will often be discussing steve’s mindset at key moments throughout their arc.  &  of course, i will be focusing heavily on steve’s perspective,  &  especially how his relationship  &  subsequent breakup with nancy affected him.  i will actively not be trying to speculate about nancy’s thoughts or motivations, as she’s not my muse.  the focus of this piece will only discuss her actions as seen from steve’s point of view.       so without further ado, let’s bite the metaphorical bullet of their relationship ! 

⚡ SEASON 1  —

     steve  &  nancy are introduced in the first episode as as a very early relationship,  &  i think it’s clear that steve starts the relationship with pretty selfish intentions.  steve’s characterization in the first episodes is textbook gross high school boy, from meeting her in the girl’s bathroom between class periods to make out  &  trying to get her to “go park somewhere” despite her insistence that she has to study, then later sneaking into her room through her window  &  suggesting that they turn her flash card game into a strip version, to slut-shaming the girls who he himself has slept with in the past.  nancy says that she is not like those girls, which is the beginning of the narrative thread that “nancy is different” from all the other girls, at least to steve.  this implies to me that steve has never had to work very hard for girls to find him attractive  &  endearing before, which is why nancy originally captures his interest.  she seems complicated  &  hard-to-get by comparison to the other girls he has dated.  she’s smart, she’s a challenge,  &  he likes that !

                              later, at party at steve’s house, the audience is shown signs that nancy is starting to like steve more seriously, including that she bought a new bra for the occasion,  &  having her shotgun a beer to impress him.  as we all know, nancy goes upstairs with steve.  the two sleep together,  unknowing that the demogorgon has attacked  &  killed barb in the pool below.  &  it’s at this point that i believe that steve begins to like nancy in a serious way, as shown by the way he comes to find her at school the next day, trying to reassure her about people gossiping, &  kissing her in the hallway ( in front of people  — which is significant to the still reputation-obsessed king of hawkins high ).           however, it’s also at this point that things start to deteriorate for nancy.  she notices barb has not come to school,  &  begins looking for her.  when nancy comes to steve looking for support about the demogorgon,  steve questions what she saw,  &  also notably appears to be more concerned about any trouble that he might get in with his dad if the cops tell him that they were drinking at his house than barb’s safety.  still being a self-centered douchebag, naturally.  after finding an outline of the demogorgon in one of the photos that she had picked up from jonathan when steve broke his camera, nancy understandably goes to ask him about that night.  jonathan alone listens to nancy,  &  they go out together to see if they can find they begin making a plan to go out looking for whatever might have taken both barb  &  will. 

                              at this point, steve does come to see nancy  &  apologizes for being, in his words, “a total dick.”  these are our earliest rumblings that steve at least wants to be better.  he makes a point to ask about barb,  &  when nancy tells him that there’s no news, he offers to take her out to a movie to take her mind off of things. but nancy refuses, as she plans to go out looking for the demogorgon with jonathan.  &  this is where we begin to see the earliest signs of one of the biggest factors that will ultimately lead to their breakup : the inherent difference in how they deal with painful situations.  nancy knows that barb is missing  &  it almost seems like she  absolutely must  do something to find her.  steve, however, genuinely believes there’s nothing he can do to help find her, so he thinks that the best thing they can do is find a way distract themselves from if for awhile  &, in steve’s word’s “just kinda pretend everything is normal for a few hours.”  i think that steve is well used to smiling through fear  &  pain  &  loneliness, at pretending everything’s fine even if it’s not.  but nancy already has her plan with jonathan,  &  she has to see it through.

          so, as we know, she then goes into the woods looking for the demogorgon with jonathan, enters a portal to the upside-down,  &  almost gets stuck there, but does eventually make it safely home with jonathan.  meanwhile, steve has gone to the movie with tommy  &  carol instead.  but afterwards on the drive home, steve says that nancy was acting like something was wrong earlier, and that he wants to go to her house to check on her. i think it’s also notable that tommy  &  carol tease steve for caring about her, with carol even sarcastically saying “ awww, steve has a heart ! ” which i think speaks to the fact that nancy is the first girl to affect steve so strongly that he would worry about her.  however, when he climbs up to nancy’s window, he sees her in her room with jonathan.  while their actions are entirely innocent, steve  —  who it has already been established has a parental relationship in his life that’s entirely lacking in trust  &  plagued with infidelity — assumes that she is cheating on him.

                              upset, steve returns to the car  &  tells tommy  &  carol that jonathan was there with her.  the two react strongly at the idea that their friend has been cheated on,  &  the three end up working together to spray paint the theater marquee with the message nancy “the slut” wheeler.  steve does not actually paint the message, but he does put tommy on his shoulders so he can reach to write it.  i could honestly do an entire separate meta on the theater incident  —  &  maybe i will sometime  —  but i think at this point that steve knows beyond doubt that his actions are wrong.  but he’s angry still, so therefore, when nancy  &  jonathan confront him, steve initiates a fight with jonathan on purpose as he  &  nancy are walking away.          i personally believe that steve started this fight intending to be beaten up, because he already felt guilty for how he was behaving  &  like he deserved it.  so he said things that he knew were wrong, specifically because he knew would get a rise out of jonathan in order to start a fight that he never had any intention of winning.  &  if you watch the scene closely,  steve does not appear to even be trying.  he only throws a blow against jonathan one single time, instead just shoving him  &  scuffling with him rather pathetically,  &  even pushing tommy away when he comes in to help him.  &  this theory is also supported later on by steve’s comment to dustin in s3 that the fight with jonathan ‘doesn’t count’ as a loss  —  he said this because he lost this fight on purpose.

                              the cops arrive  &  jonathan is arrested while steve runs away,  &  we all know what happens next.  steve snaps at tommy  &  carol at last  —  notably when carol starts making fun of jonathan  —  &  defends nancy to both of them.  he also expresses regret at going through with the graffiti,  &  scuffles briefly with tommy, but refuses to start a real fight with him in the end.  after he leaves them, steve first returns to the theater  &  helps clean the marquee  ( iconic moment ).  then he heads to the byers house with the intention of apologizing to jonathan.  &  he is surprised to find nancy there, too, noticing her bandaged hand.  he forces his way inside, concerned for her safety,  &  nancy threatens to shoot him if he doesn’t leave.  but just then, the demogorgon appears.  though it disappears again only a moment later, it’s still enough to make steve freak out.  again, nancy tells him to leave,  &  steve makes for the car.  but when he glances back  &  sees the lights in the byers house flashing,  he makes the choice to do the right thing for once  &  go back inside, using the nailed bat to help protect nancy  &  jonathan.  the three of them successfully lure the demogorgon into the fire trap, weakening it enough for jane to finish it off at the school.

         the season ends with a scene two months later, at christmastime.  steve has bought a new camera for jonathan,  &  has nancy give it to him.  steve  &  nancy are seen cuddling on the couch together, with steve smiling  &  looking extremely pleased to have gotten his girlfriend back, while nancy looks pensive  &  maybe even a bit disappointed.  per her later conversation with jonathan in season 2, after the demogorgon attack, nancy says that she waited “for like, a month” for jonathan to ask her out,  so i’m to assume when he didn’t, she got back together with steve  —  as he was no doubt hoping for.  &  as of now he’s got the girl, so he’s happy as a clam !  the poor boy just has no idea,  &  ignorance truly is bliss  —  you can see it on his face.

⚡ SEASON 2  —

     it’s the beginning of steve’s senior year, baby,  &  he’s been with nancy for almost a year, now !  the season opens with him  &  nancy together in his car in the school parking lot, with her reading over his college admissions essay.  nancy critiques his writing,  &  steve is quick to get discouraged, saying that he’s just going to end up working for his dad anyway.  but after looking at nancy, steve wonders aloud if that would really be so bad.  after all, he says, the job comes with benefits  &  insurance  &  “all that adult stuff,” as well as allowing him to stay close to nancy while she finished her senior year of high school so she doesn’t “forget about” him.  this scene makes it so incredibly obvious to me that steve is, at this point, planning to have nancy in his life forever,  &  even molding his plans for the future to stay with her.  at this point, he is fully under the impression that they will be spending the rest of their lives together.  &  i think it’s painfully obvious how he genuinely believes that they’re in love, the way he says “i love you,”  &  smiles when he looks at her, with her responding “i love you, too.”  the next time we see them is in the hallway at school, when steve sneaks up behind nancy  &  pulls her into his arms.  she tells him to take his stupid glasses off, to which he says “i’ve missed you.”  nancy says “it’s been like, an hour,” and steve replies “tell me about it,” while kissing her.  this boy is so in love at this point it hurts,  &  nancy genuinely seems... almost annoyed by him.

                              that night, steve  &  nancy go to barb’s parents’ house.  nancy is very clearly grieving  &  still struggling with guilt over barb’s death,  &  also over nor being able to tell barb’s parents the truth about their daughter.  when she tries to discuss this with steve at school later, accusing him of “pretending everything’s ok,” he reminds her that there is nothing they can do about it  —  that there is a reason that they aren’t allowed to tell anyone what happened to barb,  &  that there will be consequences from the government if they do.  he says, “it’s hard, but let’s just go to Tina’s stupid party and wear our stupid costumes that we’ve been working on for a stupid amount of time and jusst pretend we’re stupid teenagers.”  but while she says “ok,” this is clearly unsatisfying to nancy, an insufficient response.          this conversation is a perfect mirror of the conversation when he invites her to the movies in season 1.  i think it’s incredibly obvious that steve  &  nancy just have fundamentally different mindsets when it comes to processing their trauma.  if steve believes that there is nothing he can do about something, like the government’s non-disclosure agreements he signed, the way he survives is through intense mental compartmentalization.  as noted earlier, steve is an expert at pretending everything is fine when it’s not,  &  even finds moments of escape in the his pretending that everything is okay  &  normal.  whereas it’s clear to the audience that nancy  does not  accept that there’s nothing she can do,  &  finds steve’s desire to fake it insulting.  i really don’t blame nancy for this ; i can see how steve’s actions could leave her feeling isolated  &  alone in her grief.  they are just both dealing with it in such different ways, that they’re both truly not capable of offering the kind of support the other one needs.

                              &  then we have the dreaded halloween party, which as we know, does not end well for poor steve.  we all know the scene.  nancy gets drunk, seemingly resentful at steve for wanting to “pretend” to be a “stupid teenager.”  steve tries to stop her from having yet more punch when she starts slurring, but she struggles with him, leading to the drink being spilled all over her white sweater. they go to the bathroom, nancy trying to clean up  &  steve trying to convince her to just let him take her home.  but in her drunken state, nancy calls steve out for being “bullshit,” accusing him of pretending like everything is ok like they didn’t kill barb,  &  for pretending like they’re in love.  steve is surprised  &  hurt to hear her say “like” they’re in love,  &  asks her “you don’t love me ?” to which she replies again “it’s bullshit.” 

     now, it’s important to remember here that steve’s parents were the farthest thing from loving toward him  &  he has mostly had superficial, reputation-based friendships up until this point.  nancy was  the first person that he was sure really loved him.  &  so to hear that she didn’t, even though she had been telling him that she did for the better part of a year ?  that was like shooting him through the heart.  &  there’s no other way to say it :  steve freaked out.  he left the party immediately so that no one would see him break down,  &  jonathan took nancy home.                               the next day, nancy comes to find steve at his basketball practice.  she doesn’t remember a lot of what happened,  &  steve fills her in on some of the tings she said.  when he tells her that she said that she doesn’t love him, she insists that she was just drunk.  he asks if everything that she said was bullshit too then,  &  when she says yes, steve asks nancy to tell him that she loves him.  &  nancy responds, i quote, “really ?”  with a smile.  which really just makes steve feel like asking for her to love him is like asking for something unreasonable, impossible, like it’s just too much to ask for him to be loved.  they are interrupted at that moment by a teammate who calls to steve to come back to practice.  steve gives nancy another moment to say something, but she doesn’t, looking down.  &  steve walks away, telling her that he’s starting to think she’s the one who’s bullshit.

      it’s important to note at this point that this is still not technically, officially a breakup.  it’s bad, yes, but they have not actually said to each other at this point “we are done, we are not together anymore, it is over between us.”  &  steve, bless his optimistic little heart, still thinks there is hope to salvage the situation.  if you asked him that very moment, he would still refer to nancy as his girlfriend,  in spite of the fight.   &  meanwhile, nancy goes to jonathan, embarking on their adventure to infiltrate the lab  &  prove that they killed barb.  that night, nancy sleeps with jonathan at murray’s hideout.  the next day, tommy tells steve that nancy  &  jonathan had ditched school together the day before  &  not returned yet.  &  after all of this, steve still tries to keep nancy back,  getting a dozen red roses  &  going to her house, intending to declare his love  &  apologize  —  though notably, even he isn’t sure what exactly he should be apologizing for.                               but nancy isn’t there.  instead, steve runs into dustin at the wheeler’s house, who immediately ropes him into finding dart, pulling him into the upside-down shenanigans.  during the adventure, steve refers to nancy again as “different from the other girls,”  &  also warns dustin not to fall in love, because girls are only only going to break his heart  &  that he’s way too young for that, showing how raw steve is feeling at the current moment.  still, he answers the call to adventure  &  fights the demodogs at the junkyard to protect dustin, lucas,  &  max.  &  after following the dogs when they run off,  they meet nancy  &  jonathan at the lab.

        afterwards, everyone returns to the byers house.  &  it’s actually here that steve finally realizes it’s over between him  &  nancy.  there is a moment, you can see it, where jonathan is worrying over will,  &  nancy is standing over him with a hand on his shoulder, worrying over jonathan.  steve looks on in the background for a moment, before putting his hand on his face,  turning,  &  walking away into the next room.  &  i think this tiny moment, this tender little interaction between nancy  &  jonathan that steve happened to witness, is what really hammered home to him that nancy didn’t want him anymore.  after all, she had never been that way with him.  so seeing her with jonathan that way, he finally got it. 

                              later on, while outfitting the shed into a makeshift interrogation room, nancy tries to spark conversation with steve, not once, but twice.  first, she tells him that it as cool of him to take care of the kids,  which he brushes off by saying “those shits can be a real pain in the ass.”  then, later, she tells him that she doesn’t want to leave mike again, but steve promises her that no one’s leaving anyone, that he’ll be staying there to keep him safe.  it’s this moment where steve has his iconic line “i may have been a shitty boyfriend, but turns out i’m actually a pretty damn good babysitter.”  &  it’s notable as well that steve is referring to himself as boyfriend in the past tense here.  &  when nancy tries to respond to him, saying “steve…” he cuts her off, saying “it’s ok, nance. it’s ok.” before walking away.

        in my opinion, steve just flatly refused to talk about it at the time because, well… what is there to say ?  nancy doesn’t love him, that much is clear to him at last.  maybe she never did.  but regardless, she clearly wants jonathan now.  he gets that, finally.  he doesn’t need to hear her say it, as it would only hurt him still more,  &  he definitely doesn’t want her to try to comfort him or anything like that.  he understands,  &  what good would talking about it do, other than hurt some more.  he doesn’t want her guilt or her pity or attempts at platitude.  if she doesn’t want him, then there’s really nothing more to say, as far as steve is concerned.  &  he ends season 2 very raw, with a broken heart.

⚡ SEASON 3  —

      welcome to season 3, it’s time to talk about the lingering effects that the breakup had on steve !  before nancy, steve was a dick, but he was also pretty confident in himself in general, especially in his skills with girls.  during his relationship with nancy, steve fought frequent feelings of inadequacy  &  the belief that he was not good enough for her, but he also felt for the first time like he was finally actually being a good person, like maybe he could be good enough to be worthy of being loved by someone good, like nancy.  &  that’s what he tried so hard to be.                              but in the aftermath of learning that the most real love he’d ever known had all been bullshit all along, steve’s confidence  &  slowly budding sense of self was pretty well shattered.  as mentioned earlier, nancy was the first person that steve was sure loved him.  &  to find out she didn’t actually really rocked not only his self assuredness, but also played on the belief first laid down by his parents’ neglect that he’s fundamentally too much for anyone, that to be loved would be something he has to earn, rather something that he inherently deserves.  this sense of desperation for love is on full display in early season 3 while he’s trying  &  failing to hit on every cute girl he sees.  but he’s lost his charm.  he’s down on himself, he’s anxious, he’s awkward.  he’s trying, but he’s struggling.  &  this is exactly the right moment for him to meet robin.  

     meeting robin is a massive breakthrough for steve.  she pulls no punches with him, laughs at his lack of game  &  calls him out when he’s acting a fool.  but she is also the first girl that he meets that he can actually just talk to as himself, rather than trying to be perfectly charming all the time in an attempt to schmooze her.   &  steve wasn’t ready to meet robin before now this moment, because honestly, she probably wouldn’t have liked who he was before now.  but as it turns out, they like each other !  with both of them being who they really are, with neither of them pretending, they just connect.  so of course it’s to robin in the end that steve finally admits aloud  ( kinda )  how much nancy really hurt him  —  albeit under the fading influence of russain hallucinogenic drugs.  &  of course, steve does develop a crush on robin as well, thinking that because they connect so well that it must be romantic between them.  this is because steve has never had a functional platonic relationship with a girl his own age before, after all, so he assumes she must be The One for him.  &  steve also makes the surprisingly astute observation that robin is actually a lot better for him than nancy.  &  when robin does reject him, this genuine  &  honest friendship with a girl his own age who he truly loves, but knows he will never date, becomes the is the natural next step in his growth arc.  he did meet The One, but it was in a way he never expected :  he finally met his best friend.

                             &  this is relevant to his connection nancy because it was for nancy that steve originally started his growth arc, but i think that it’s incredibly important narratively that steve continues on his arc without her, even in the face of yet more rejection.  it would have been so easy for steve to get dumped  &  rejected  &  revert  &  say  ‘ well that whole being-a-good-person thing didn’t get me what i wanted, so why not just give up on it, ’  but he doesn’t !   he keeps on growing independently of nancy, even when there’s no reward in it for him.  &  it brings him to robin.  &  it’s through his friendship with her that steve regains some of his confidence.  &  grows even more,  in all new ways that he never even knew were possible before.

⚡ CLOSING THOUGHTS / SEASON 4  &  BEYOND  —

     to wrap up,  here is the post i made after viewing vol.2 with my initial thoughts about why steve  &  nancy getting back together would not be healthy for them.  &  in addition, a follow-up post will come later on outlining my specific scene-by-scene canon divergences for season 4, which i will insert a link to here once it’s complete.                             but i hope, given my analysis of the first three seasons  &  the effect his relationship with nancy had on steve the first time around, you can see why i personally think that st*ncy as endgame would amount to some serious crawling backward rather than forward for steve.  &  as a character whose whole arc is focused on his growth, i just dislike that whole concept tbh,  &  will  not  be writing their relationship that way on this blog, regardless of what happens in the final season.     in my blog canon,  steve  &  nancy finally learn to communicate with each other, talk honestly about what happened between them,  &  eventually become friends.  he still loves her  —  of course  —  &  he always will.   but steve is finally no longer  in love with her,  &  he definitely does not still picture her as the linchpin of his dreams for the future.  even he isn’t that naive.  &  i genuinely believe that for steve  &   nancy both,  growth would look like a functional friendship built on a strong foundation of mutual care  &  respect.

[imaginewereinlove]

Hello? Hello? Danganronpa self shipper? Please share the F/Os and S/Is I crave this content bestie

Okay, so you asked this like, weeks ago (I’m sorry) but I am now officially not too stressed to enjoy anything other than Pokémon Legends: Arceus. I also had to write this in two sittings. So let’s go :3

My S/I is literally just me plopped in there. A tiny trans-guy being neurodivergent and trying his best. Like, I sometimes play with more backstory of me finally being able to study abroad in Japan and visiting Hopes Peak (except I’ve graduated now without ever studying abroad, thanks COVID :,3) and y’know, shit hits the fan. after those Sneaksy Twins™ start putting plans into action that involve one of them “disappearing” Mr. Jin Kirigiri was like “shit, need to find another one to fill in the gap so that we can have adequate pairs of Make Babies just in case everyone else dies. YOU. ASSIGNED FEMALE AT BIRTH.” :/ Which leads to survival, which leads to Future Foundation being like “hey can you babysit these guys on an island for us real quick” which justifies in my head my participation in the first two games. It also forces me to think dialogue in Japanese, which I desperately need to practice. But that’s all very messy and I generally don’t think about it too hard. That is for “canon” timeline anyway.

I do prefer non-despair AUs though, and also the “before everything went wrong” part of the anime. My idea there is that (by means I haven’t bothered to figure out) a woefully unqualified me is able to sneak into class 77 after stealing a Main Course uniform. Any time someone asks about my ultimate talent the answer changes which eventually leads to “haha, guess and I’ll tell you if you’re right ;)” My S/I does not have an ultimate talent, which does lead to angst. Yes, you already know where this is going, but let’s start with THH.

Oh, just so that I don’t have to name quite so many, I adore almost all of the characters platonically. There are, of course exceptions, but I think only Junko and Hiyoko, do I really dislike.

So in Trigger Happy Havoc, the only character I really ever desired romantically/intimately was Leon Kuwata. Much to my chagrin, he is a fuckboy. That’s okay though, it started out as a “hey if we’re all going to die, why not a little hedonism? I don’t wanna die a virgin, you game?” Alas ._. Anyway, we’re more fuck-buddies than anything, or we were because now I’m in a more committed relationship :3

Let’s hop over to V3 for juuust a sec before I absolutely gush on my SDR2 babes. ^^

So, either kinning Shuichi led to f/o-ing him, or f/o-ing him led to kinning. One or the other. My best friend kins Kaede, so go figure. Either way, I love him ^^ That said, I’m also a simp for Kaede, she’s such a good girl. I like to think of the three of us in a polycule.

I also love love love Kiibo so much!!! He’s such a good boy and he’s trying his best! I like to think of us becoming closer in my Japanese daydreams because I rely on him to translate some of my more complicated thoughts (trials) when I don’t have the vocabulary to communicate them in Japanese.

Okay! Now for SDR2! I could honestly make a separate post just for them. I’ll put the meta in this post and make a separate post for my canon ^^

Alrighty, so I think that my first boyo was Kazuichi Souda, Mr. shark teeth himself. It was real quick, I don’t remember exactly when, but I do remember commenting to my friends that I wanted to kiss him on the mouth pretty early on though. It became a running joke ^^ Pretty simple though, I thought he was attractive and had almost exactly the same personality type as Leo Valdez a la Percy Jackson, who I also had a huge crush on back in the day.

Next, chronologically and in terms of how complicated the route to understanding the feelings, is Fingers-In-His-Ass himself, Nagito Komaeda. So in the beginning I thought he was a pretty decent guy, but 1. I’d been on the internet long enough, and 2. My friend who had played the DR games before had a <_< attitude about him, so I knew something would happen. After the first trial, my pre-played friend was like “yeah, never really liked him. I thought he was pretty annoying” and my friend who was playing for the first time with me was like “lmao wtf” and despite everything, I couldn’t find it in me to hate him. I was kinda confused about it, but hating him didn’t feel right, despite the awful things he did. It wasn’t until I was contemplating after waking up at 3am or something, that I realized I couldn’t hate him because he was just like me. When my depression gets real bad, my self loathing monologue is his self deprecating monologue almost verbatim. From there, I was more inclined to sympathize with him and try to defend him. There… there was a little bit of an “I can fix him” thing going on, I’ll be real. But he doesn’t need to be “fixed” if it’s a non-despair AU and everything is fine anyway!

And finally, the MOST CONVOLUTED WAY TO CATCH FEELINGS EVER. Ft. Teruteru Hanamura :3

So, a little about me: I just graduated college with a bachelors degree in Japanese language. The school I went to required a senior thesis to graduate, for a Japanese degree that meant writing a 25 page paper about something related to Japan/Japanese language/culture. My topic of choice was the localization of Japanese video games for US audiences.

Actually, the whole reason I stumbled upon this topic was with the help of Teruteru and Miss Lotta Hart, from the Ace Attorney series. I wondered why in these two games (that I played in English) both had a character that spoke with a US southern accent, when the original games were written in Japanese. Obviously this had been a choice during localization, but why? How did they talk in the Japanese versions, and what’s the connection between their characters?

Well, for Lotta, she speaks with and Osaka dialect and portrays a character trope for loud, direct, and headstrong characters. Osaka characters are a character trope, pretty cut and dry. Teruteru doesn’t really fit into that, and only speaks with an accent near the end, so what does that mean?

I ended up writing a 7 page section titled “The Fascinating Case of Teruteru Hanamura”. I studied his dialect usage during the trial—it is not the same as Lotta’s dialect—I studied the way that he talks before he slips into that dialect, compared the stereotypes associated with the dialect that he uses and a US southern accent, and finally did an analysis of his character, why and how he masked where he was from, and why localization did a good job of conveying that character arc. Yeah, I did a lot of researching and thinking and writing about Teruteru.

And thesis? It’s stressful. I had a good many breakdowns over the course of the semester, but the only way to make myself less stressed was to do it. The trouble is, I have a really hard time organizing my thoughts on paper, but I can speak them really well. So in true self-shipper form, I found myself talking out my thoughts and planning my writing with fictional characters. And who’s the fictional character who was always on my mind? Teruteru. I ended up talking to him a lot, I got stressed a lot.

And ya know what? I think he’s exactly the f/o I needed to support me at that time. When I get super stressed, I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to go somewhere on campus to get food where people can see me falling apart. But it was a lot harder to skip meals when he was right there to bug me about it. “Honey, when did you eat last?” “Nah nah nah nah, I don’t think so. C’mon sugar, let’s go find something for you to eat.” “I’ll come with you, it won’t be so scary.” <3 <3 <3!!!!!!

So eventually my interest in him could not be considered solely academic any longer ^^;;;

So yeah, Souda-Pop, Teru Chan, and Nagito are my main polycule. I adore them. But this post is a novel as it is, so I’ll make a post just for them to continue gushing ^^

[nerdstrings]

I posted 2,275 times in 2022

That's 103 more posts than 2021!

31 posts created (1%)

2,244 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@livebloggingmydescentintomadness

@wigglebox

@bendingsignpost

@dduane

@angelcatsiel

I tagged 2,275 of my posts in 2022

#supernatural - 604 posts

#fanart - 598 posts

#our flag means death - 294 posts

#destiel - 225 posts

#random tag - 216 posts

#castiel - 203 posts

#dean winchester - 179 posts

#tumblr meta - 122 posts

#text post - 117 posts

#blackbonnet - 115 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#‘the old man fussing about him catching his death in the snow as if he won’t go running off to catch it with both hands on goddamn purpose’

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Yeah I’m gonna post this because honestly 37 is the truest version of myself yet. People throw around the phrase “living their best life” and good for them but have you considered aging even more and loving it with each new step? I could never have conceived of feeling this content when I was in my twenties. Can’t wait to round out the next decade. Happy Halloween birthday to me 🥳🎃🖤

11 notes - Posted October 31, 2022

#4

I saw one (1) video and I’m back on my sea shanty bullshit, but the point I want to make is that for OFMD season 2, Stede’s crew should learn some shanties (“it builds teamwork, guys! And some of us need a little help with our rhythm, hey? Plus, isn’t it fun?”) and it would be adorable while they stumble their way through learning to sing together – until we come to a scene on Blackbeard’s ship, in the dark, and the fog, while Ed watches moodily out over the silent bow, and from somewhere out in that deep oversea darkness comes a low, echoing hum of bassy harmonies that float hauntingly above the water lapping the hull, growing closer and more distinct as another ship’s silhouette materializes through the fog in the anemic moonlight with Stede standing out on the foremast spar among the rigging leading a dirge about lost love.

26 notes - Posted April 23, 2022

#3

Cardassian party games be like

if you drop your egg you get the four lights torture

79 notes - Posted March 8, 2022

#2

See the full post

129 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Captain Christopher Pike is an infosec nightmare.

His command code string is 2-4-6-8-10. Like what

M’Benga insinuates it’s been this way for a long time and Pike has never changed it

The man is walking around with command codes that IT set for him by default and told him to reset the first time he logged in and he just. Never did that.

The Serene Squall pirate crew tortured him for this code. They could’ve just fuckin’ guessed it in one go.

But they didn’t know that and their mistaking this man for a competent firewall led to him great-british-baking his way into a mutiny incitation and escape. anyway

Pike is Starfleet’s best, a Boy Scout, who is also gonna get them fuckin’ hacked

This man is sooo socially engineerable

He has never once completed a required infosec course

I know this because he walks onto the USS Discovery and expects them to just hand him command. Because he’s nice and he said so and obviously he means it, scout’s honor. Nevermind that an official fleet communique has never arrived, or that his identity is entirely unconfirmed

He’s so wonderful because he’s so kind and trusting but he is so phishable for the same reasons

The human brain has spindle neurons that are associated with emotion and social behaviors. On earth, these evolved separately in only three types of creatures - great apes/humans, elephants, and dolphins. Cetacean Ops is a thing; Elephantid Ops is not. Presumably the dolphins keep their shit together and the elephants don’t. And then there’s the highly-decorated human captain of the fleet’s flagship just. Being an exceptional representative of his species while literally letting fucking anyone onto the bridge of his ship

He’s the type to repeatedly dismiss a notification about required password trainings every single day for months on end

Una sees it once and is like umm you know they fire people for not doing those, right?

But he knows about Discovery, what are they gonna do? Let him just leave?

So no, he never even gets reprimanded

No wonder he and Section 31 hate each other. They know this guy is a complete security idiot. Meanwhile, Pike thinks making someone buzz in with their own badge is rude and a morally gray area

Too many spindle neurons, that one

296 notes - Posted December 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[anasticep]

Why Julie and the Phantoms is a masterpiece of a show. Part 1 of 3

· NOTE: if somehow you happen to like my gifs, please, feel free to use them. But, please, don’t crop or change.

· NOTE 2: This meta has been flourishing in my mind for quite a long time, but it was @catty-words meta on Perfect Harmony that inspired me to actually put it all on paper

· NOTE 3: I planned two parts of this, but ended up with far more gifs than a post allows. I dunno. Not sure if anyone will actually be interested in this rumbling. Probably it won’t even be a new and outstanding thinking. I’ll see how it goes.

What sets a good show apart? I’ll tell you exactly this: the pilot and the finale.

Whether it’s a season finale or a grand finale, it doesn’t matter for a scenario. People tend to forget the middle, that’s why all we remember about LOST is this weird full of dead people church that simply left the fans heartbroken. But frankly speaking, LOST ended so much better then most modern shows. And honestly I get why it’s so hard to keep track on things after 6 years and such a long row of characters. That’s why making a season in one take is so much better, when writers do not depend on what the fans think or like or ship. They simply do their job.

Do I need to say that our brain clearly remembers everything we throw at it? We think we forget, but that’s not quite true. That’s also the reason how we distinguish what we like and dislike – we remember all the small things and foreshadowing. Also that’s why we keep re-watching the shows we love: we simply acknowledge what our brain already knows. We simply find that thread that links everything together.

And they can be simple things. But first on what made this script a masterpiece for me: first and last scenes in the studio (+some things from 0102 band circle scene of 0109).

1. The Studio Intro

In 0101 Julie hesitates to go in the garage. She was reluctant to go in the first place. It signifies everything she’s lost: mother, music, voice. She inhales deeply, steadying herself. She can do this.

In 0109 it’s quite the opposite. She wanted to go there even though she knew the guys had already crossed over. Now this place signifies everything she gained back and more: music, voice, friends and, of course, a way back to her mother. She did it.

And this is a perfect visual explanation of the line “It’s not what you lost, it’s what you gain raising your voice to the rain”

2. The Band Intro

Can you see it the way I see it? It’s not a coincidence, it’s been done on purpose. Julie is mortified both times but for completely different reasons. In 0101 she is scared OF them. In 0109 she is scared FOR them. It’s so heartbreakingly beautiful it even hurts.

3. Personal space

In 0101 Julie and Luke are both scared of each other. See that extra step she did to push him away? Or the way he acts as if Julie is really a witch that could curse him? And who needs any personal space in 0109? These scenes show their journey in the best way possible.

4. You have to leave

In 0101 after accepting the fact that she was sane enough and these three ghosts really existed Julie is simply annoyed. She orders them to leave. She doesn’t what them to exist in her life. She has no time to deal with these dead cute boys. She wants them gone.

In 0109 after acknowledging that their plan has failed she also wants them gone. She orders them to leave again. But she wants to save them and for now that’s the only way she can think of. It’s better than not existing at all, even if it means not existing in her life.

And just look at the directing. The shots are almost twins! Julie mimics the scene from 0101 almost entirely, although it hits on a different level. I don't exactly know why it makes me so excited, probably I'm just very tired of mediocre scripts.

5. Maybe she’s a witch

I’m sure she is at least to some extent. It’s such a wonderful foreshadowing. I hope in season 2 we'll find out more but I think the perception on this in "Feels like I’ve opened my eyes again" by @pink-flame is very close if not almost entirely accurate to what I thought about season 2 and all this magic thing. Such a masterpiece of a fanfiction btw, I wish I found the show sooner and was reading it chapter by chapter. One of the best things I've read so far in any fandom.

6. Attached to our souls & 7. She's warming up to us

Do I need to say much? That’s the magic Julie has: her love for these boys. They are attached to her soul.

8. We had nowhere else to go

To think about it, they didn’t need Julie’s permission to stay in the first place. Like… How on earth would she even get rid of them? But that’s what defined these friendship from the start. They asked for permission in 0101 and in 0109 Luke’s words are almost apologetic that they ended up in her garage again.

9. I'm sorry we came into your life

Again, look at how both episodes have been shot. 0101 they stand apart, not knowing anything about each other yet. They both are not very comfortable with the whole situation and Luke voices what Julie might be thinking: why me? In 0109 Julie answers her past self that it was a blessing and a miracle. They are the closest they've ever got to be and the most sincere.

10. I have space for only one more gif and I'm simply fond of this parallel. We need a Witch!Julie AU)))))

________________________

Due to the pics limit I have to stop here. But there is so much more to say. So stay tuned to see Parts two and three if you liked this one. God, I hope you did

[robxstar]

Meta on calling all Titans and titans together? Felt like there were such cute Robstar moments in them <3 love your blog!

*dusts off blog, cracks knuckles*

The two episodes DO have some very cute moments for them and also some very brilliant symbolism that I have to assume is deliberate lol.

Under the cut as always, since I get long and rambly.

So our first moment is not exactly a direct interaction but I still think it's cute.

Beast Boy expresses some misgiving about handing out more T-communicators being the best course forward and Starfire casually backs up Robin's plan.

I dunno what it is about this moment I just like how it speaks to the faith and trust she has in him and in his leadership.

The next little bit comes after Starfire has made contact with Argent. We drop in on Robin in search of Bushido and he stops to answer her call.

My gosh look at that smile. He's happy for her successful contact and probably liked hearing her voice.

Skipping ahead several scenes, right when the shit is about to hit the fan so to speak, Beast Boy is eager and excited to be done finally and then Robin deflates him with a sudden, "Wait a second--"

Starfire is immediately concerned, probably recognizing that tone of voice Robin's using. (She is so ATTUNED to him hkjhas.)

Things rapidly start going south. Titans all over the world start reporting being attacked. Robin has to pull over and land in order to be able to concentrate through all the chaos. Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Raven at this point have all been waylaid on their rush to try and help the others by Brotherhood members.

So naturally the first thing Robin does once he sets down is worriedly call Starfire to check and see if she's okay.

She's interrupted responding to him when Kitten attacks, snatching the communicator from him. And when the line is cut off and the last thing Robin hears is Starfire's scream, he yells her name with worry and fear.

AND NOW I GET TO TALK ABOUT THE COOL PART.

THE CHESS METAPHOR.

You know how in the interludes where we cut back to the Brotherhood of Evil's hideout, Monsieur Mallah has a chessboard set up, and moves pieces around while he and The Brain coordinate their strike on the Titans?

This isn't just something to occupy their time. It's a symbolic representation of the battle itself. The Brain, himself looking almost like a giant chess piece, waxes poetical about the game being set, the pawns being in place. As they begin their attack, Monsieur Mallah moves a black knight to knock down a white pawn.

And immediately after the scene cuts to Argent being ambushed by General Immortus.

The board configuration continues to shift as the battle goes on. The Brain makes it very clear via his dialogue that he considers Robin the "king" piece. The most important. The one whose capture wins the game.

Right after Starfire is attacked, Mallah removes the queen piece from the board.

SHE IS HIS QUEEN.

"Titans Together" really only has the one RobStar moment, their reunion when he calls to her from the shelf, where he'd been a frozen trophy a few moments ago, extends his hand, and says, "I could use a hand."

He doesn't have to have Starfire fly him down. He's perfectly capable. But she's there and she's okay and they're both alive and well and by gosh he wants to see his girl.

(I would love to include screencaps but apparently Tumblr only allows 10 embedded images now which is asinine. Thanks a lot for kneecapping my meta posts, Tumblr.)

[autisticandroids]

Oh patron saint of mpreg, tell us, what is the absolute gold standard canon divergent mpreg scenario with Cas and Dean?

so for me the gold standard is for cas to get pregnant due to some kind of magical or metaphysical situation that dean at least does not perceive as sex. bonus points is cas is hesitant about it but refuses to explain why (because he doesn't know how dean will deal with the concept of himself being able to potentially get cas pregnant), so dean is like "we're doing it anyway" and then they do it and then cas doesn't tell anyone that he is pregnant until circumstances force the information out of him. and then dean has to deal with the fact that 1) cas can get pregnant, 2) cas is pregnant, 3) it's his, and he does so pretty poorly.

the rest is under a cut because this post is over 2.5k words long.

my favorite times for this to happen are at the end of season nine, just before dean dies and gets demonized in do you believe in miracles, and at the start of season twelve, just before sam and dean go to jail, because the pining in both those scenarios is delicious but it is so much more powerful if cas is also pregnant, and never even told dean. double points if the truth somehow comes out while they're separated so when dean comes back it's like. yeah cas is pregnant. it's yours. welcome home dean now you have to coddle cas' emotions because he thought he would have to raise your baby alone.

the season twelve scenario is particularly delicious because 1) we can have lucifer slut shaming cas in front of crowley in rock never dies, so crowley knows before dean, and 2) much more importantly, mary is there, and i am obsessed with like. okay. several things.

- the idea of mary getting all baby fever because she misses her boys and this is like. a baby she can take care of because she never got to take care of sam

- the idea of dean working through some of his parentification trauma by coparenting a child with the parent whose place he felt he had to take

- the idea of mary coming in and projecting her insane 1980s gender roles all over cas, suddenly treating him like a woman, stripping him of agency, etc. and like. dean would also do this even though he's not from the eighties, but mary would do it double strength, and they would reinforce each other, it would be a nightmare

- also mary trying to relate to cas on the Travails Of Motherhood etc. and cas being like ?????????? like i cannot stress enough that the weird gender roles she projects onto cas are also standards that she held herself to back when she was a Wife And Mother. while cas is like mary i am not a human woman and also i don't see what "having to look pretty for my man when i'm all baby bloaty" has to do with anything. that's not something i feel like i have to do

oh and 3) could you imagine lily sunder has some regrets if cas was pregnant? unfathomable episode. like ishim and mirabel's reaction but ALSO lily's. and it would fix the number one issue i have with lily sunder, which is that the resolution of the moral dilemma is "well AKSHUALLY the kid was human and not a nephilim so killing it was bad" rather than "it was bad to kill lily's baby, full stop." like ishim's cover up and using the machinery of power to manipulate the truth is very compelling, but the fact that it results in the moral essentially being "it would have been okay if the kid had been a nephilim" suuuuuucks.

basically, there's a reason i have two entire mpreg aus set in season twelve.

and then the delicious part in the season nine version is like. one, dean is away for much longer and he could be anywhere. also he's a demon and he's cheating on cas with crowley. and then even when cas gets him back he's still cursed with the mark, so we can get all weepy over that. you know. i'm the one who's going to have to watch you murder the world and i'm eight months pregnant. etc etc.

but the other thing that's juicy about this version is that cas is still semi-involved with the other angels at this point, like he's roadtripping around with hannah and they're trying to get heaven under control, so carrying a nephil is going to really affect those relationships. so he's going to be probably disliked by the other angels, and there are MANY opportunities for slut-shaming, but at the same time, the other "outcast" type angels might respect him for violating heaven's dictates.

and then of course there's his grace vampirism victorian wasting disease. in canon he's perfectly happy to let himself die, but if he were having dean's baby he would absolutely not do that, that's dean's baby he's endangering there. so of course there's the terrible guilt of having to kill other angels so he can live, plus potentially preparing to die shortly after childbirth so he doesn't have to keep killing. delicious.

and on top of all this cas can get slutshamed by metatron in, depending on when exactly he gets knocked up, meta fiction, stairway to heaven, and do you believe in miracles. plus stairway to heaven would be insane like all the angels would know that cas is pregnant. they would see it in his grace. like cas' angel army would just. know that he was pregnant with a nephil, and have to accept that because he's their leader. in love with humanity indeed.

i'm trying to think of other good times for this drama with cas getting secretly pregnant through a nonsexual interaction to take place. it would be great in season six. like: he's doing a blasphemy with his body but at the same time he's this big important rebel leader so they can't say shit about him, and also he's pregnant while fighting these big important battles (fun and sexy), AND this is like, hot on the heels of the realization that something about his feelings for dean is untoward, expands beyond the bounds of ordinary friendship and camaraderie. like he realizes that, and maybe even that he has sexual feelings for dean, and then he gets immediately knocked up. stunning.

it would ALSO be extremely fun for it to be some kind of... i don't know, magical longer gestation times, whatever, but for cas to have gotten pregnant sometime in s5 and only realized during the Year Of Lisa. LOVE to watch a man rake leaves while both metaphorically carrying the taint of taboo sexual feelings for him and literally carrying his child.

but the thing about season six is, first of all, cas isn't really... envisioning a future with dean. not the way he does in the later seasons. like does he fantasize about a future with dean? yes. like. he really did watch that motherfucker rake leaves. but it's only fantasy. he expected to never speak to dean again after swan song until dean prayed to him in the third man. he's obsessed with dean, but it's distant. remote.

like, we talk about cas babytrapping dean in the later seasons with jack, and he absolutely does, and he would do it even more if dean got him literally pregnant, but that babytrap is about... how do i put this. it's about winning dean's affection. late seasons cas knows that he's going to die by dean's side. the difference that babytrapping dean makes is that maybe it will get dean to be nice to him in the mean time, instead of discarding him like so much toilet paper.

but season six cas doesn't think of it like that. if he were gonna babytrap dean, it would be in the more traditional sense of forcing dean to stay with him in order to raise their child together. and he would never do that. he wants dean to have a happy future, which in his mind does not include him. like, compare here "he's retired and he's to stay that way" in the man who would be king, where cas assumes that dean is happy without him and expects him to live out his days peacefully without ever seeing him again, to "i'm the one who's going to have to watch you murder the world" in the prisoner, where cas assumes that he will be by dean's side for centuries.

but anyway, the other, much more important problem with season six is that cas has a war to fight. like, in the later seasons, cas really has nothing. even when he's on tenuous good terms with the angels, he doesn't really have a home with them. the winchesters are his family, and he'd give up anything for them. he has nothing in his life. he's at rock bottom, and this becomes truer the further along you go. late seasons cas has nothing he would prioritize over serving the winchesters, and he would be happy dropping anything he was involved in to have and raise dean's baby. parenting would give him a purpose that he no longer has, because everything else has been stripped from him.

but in season six cas has a life outside of them. like yes, he has a war to fight, but he also has a place in heaven, with the other angels. he belongs somewhere, he has solid connections to the outside world. even if he didn't have a war to fight, i don't know how excited he would be to have and raise a baby (even dean's baby) because he simply has other things he could be doing. he's involved in the world beyond the winchesters.

like, the reason cas wants to be a parent is that he is totally alone and totally purposeless. having a child gives him both a reason for being and someone who will always love him and who he can care for. if he doesn't have that hole in his life he might not be so eager to fill it with a baby.

for all these reasons, this plotline really doesn't work in season six, because you simply cannot justify cas not getting an abortion, unless you do something nasty like make angel abortion impossible, which i don't love.

you COULD somehow put the impregnation just at the end of season six, maybe just before the man who would be king, such that cas doesn't realize he's pregnant until he's already godstiel. you guys are unfortunately very aware of how obsessed i am with pregnant godstiel.

actually, @jeanne-de-valois has a concept of like. a single, madness fueled midnight hookup immediately pre-tmwwbk (or maybe even during, but prior to the superman mistake), where cas is simultaneously so stressed from being stretched so thin from the war and the lying and the shady dealings, and so high on being The Big Man In Heaven, that he's bold and out of his mind enough to actually come onto dean, like he just appears one night in dean's bedroom and is like, fuck me, and dean is like 👁👄👁 okay. so they have one single adrenaline and madness fueled hookup, and then everything immediately goes to shit.

and i think that's a great place for cas to get pregnant, and then he doesn't realize until he's become god, or maybe he does and he's just like "i'll deal with it later," either way godstiel is like oh? i carry dean's heir inside me? i will have dean's baby. i will have dean's baby it is my right and also my boon to him and also a symbol of my great and magnanimous love for humanity. and also maybe i will put giant paintings of myself pregnant with his child up in churches. what about that. which would be fun. don't know when he would give birth though. actually it would be insane if he gave birth as emmanuel and was just like. raising dean's nephil when dean found him again. nuts. but it just doesn't really have the same flavor as late seasons mpreg. doesn't compel me nearly as much. like the symbolism of godstiel being pregnant with dean's child is fun and sexy but them actually raising the kid afterwards doesn't compel me nearly as much, so it's better to leave literal mpreg to the later seasons and let godstiel mpreg reside in symbolism and fantasy.

or maybe the fetus gets stolen by the leviathans when cas walks into the lake and dean has to battle his leviathanated nephil daughter as the main villain of s7. like she's dick roman's secret weapon. i think that would be fun, actually. kind of an emma situation but drawn out over the whole season. and he thinks cas is dead for most of it so she's all he's got left of cas and a mess cas left for him to clean up. big sexy.

and as a bonus, i will also tell you the best time, imo, for dean to get pregnant: near the end of season eight. possibly a single, tragic farewell fuck in sacrifice when cas is planning to lock himself away in heaven and they're never gonna see each other again. and this impregnates dean with cas' nephil.

but then cas is human. and he can't do anything about it. like generally if they managed to get dean pregnant somehow, cas would immediately talk him into an abortion (which wouldn't be too hard; dean's natural white midwestern man who doesn't vote aversion to abortion would be at war with the horror of being pregnant, and the horror would win), or might not even inform dean that he's pregnant, and just quietly end the pregnancy without dean's knowledge, because cas would never put dean through that. but if cas is human, he can't do that. and furthermore, that nephil is the last evidence of his angelic nature that persists. it's the last of what he used to be, the last of his grace. and there's something absolutely delectable about that.

then of course dean would have to leave the bunker if he was pregnant with a nephil, because angels would be after him, and he wouldn't want to lead them to gadreel, so i am imagining dean discovering that he's pregnant and then showing up in a panic at the gas n sip like "actually cas i'm also out of the bunker will you go on the run with me?" and then they go on the run and have to live in motels again and cas gets to live with take care of dean who is pregnant with his child which is essentially his dream, and he doesn't have to feel guilty because he's no longer capable of giving dean an abortion so he doesn't feel obligated to get him to have one. ideally cas gets re-angeled just in time to give dean an angelic c-section. or maybe they rely on a normal human c-section in a hospital and cas stays human and they are two humans raising their nephil, which is also fun to me.

[dirtydancingdean]

✨ fic recs ✨

ok so back in like 2014 i watched supernatural for a solid 3 years until they killed kevin and charlie and i got bored of the bmol storyline. now im here again let’s not talk about it. BUT during this time i accumulated a Lot of fic and in the past two months i’ve gone through all 213 of my bookmarks and gone through like every rec list made after s12 in order to read fic set during every specific season while i rewatch the show. because im insane <3 im on s8 rn and wanted to share my list of favourites from each season so far as well as my favourite aus ! they’re all generally nsfw so minors be careful, and also check the warnings ! and i will update this when i finish s15 <3

aus

asunder by rageprufrock (23.8k, e, background samruby)

obviously the most perfect thing to ever exist. 

and this, your living kiss by opal_bullets (56k, m, background saileen)

poet dean fic need i say more. part dean studies if dean studies was elaborated on lovingly in detail for 56k words, part gorgeous and beautiful poetry, part incredibly clever commentary on meta and fan allusions, and part stunning exploration of the relationships in the show turned on their heads.  

one white little lie by komodobits (11k, gen)

this is SOOO cute. cas is so embarrassing i was covering my face the entire time i was reading it. if u want to be cheered up. read this. 

broadway musical by griftings (12k, m)

this is genuinely sooo funny. big “castiel did you fuck the michael sword” energy and jimmy novak as that “am not against gays” tweet, plus jo <3

c-s-t-l by komodobits (90k, m)

i haven't read this in a while but from what i remember it was incredible and also had cassie <3 

rest is under the cut because it got long fhjfkfklf

pre-series/season 1-3*

a turn of the earth by microcomets (time travel, 95k, standford era, m)

i think everyone’s read this at this point but if u haven't. what are u doing. go read it. it’s absolutely everything i reread it in the week before the finale without remembering half of the stuff it talked about and i was a WRECK. if u think about standford era dean every day read this. cas punches john winchester in the FACE. 

geography by aeli_kindara (3k, teen and up, warnings for discussion of rape/non-con and prostitution)

not dean/cas but a really wonderful and needed conversation with sam and dean during 2x02.

season 4

so says the sword by komodobits (85k, e)

yeah. i dont need to say anything.  

consequences of falling by fayjay (37k, e, background samruby, warnings for rape/non-con)

THISSSS FIC. pls it’s perfect literally everything i wanted when i was watching s4 and obsessed with love as an act of worship + ruby and cas parallels. ruby and cas get drunk together! ruby says this: “dean and castiel sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes the fall from grace, then comes battling the hosts of hell and wishing that you’d managed to get your skinny ass laid before the freaking apocalypse”! what more could u want!

named by rc_machlan (94k, m)

literally the best fic in the world i am not going to say Anything if you love dean and angels and the mythology of s4-s5 that was promptly dropped, you absolutely have to read this.

four people ruby seduced & one she actually fell for (or: ruby's epic love affair with humanity in general and sam in specific) by tuesday (3.7k, e, samruby, ruby/jo)

this is more background deancas than anything else and does contain brief, not romantic in any way dean/ruby and dean/cas, but like. if u love ruby (which i do) u have to read this.

season 5

final fantasy by orange_crushed (1.9k, m)

endverse.....this made me want to die

the (mostly accidental) courtship of dean winchester by tuesday (11k, m)

a classic for a reason. really cute and soft and the handprint and cas beating dean up in 5x18 are angelic marriage rites. what more could you ask for.

the girlfriend experience by rageprufrock (15k, explicit)

of Course i mean of COURSE. thee s5 deancas fic.

strike me down and i’ll come back more powerful than you can possibly imagine by trinityofone (10k, gen)

post 5x22 dean and cas rescue sam from hell with the help of some special guests. PERFECT. the only valid good omens crossover.

season 6**

something stupid by zatnikatel (20k, e)

this broke my heart and put it back together. one of my favourite cas characterizations, takes place over s5-s6 and it’s just stunning. 

a crash course in someone else’s history by annie d (11k, teen and up)

s4 cas ends up in the body of cas in 6x20. fucking life-ruining.

season 7

make known by domesticadventures (16k, teen and up)

this is a really heartbreaking look at dean’s headspace near the end of s6 and throughout s7, and it’s really wonderful with a hopeful ending.

redemption road by a whole bunch of people (652k, virtual season, explicit)

oh boy. ok. know ur herstory ! this was written from 2011 to 2012 and it is thee s7 fic, a virtual season written by 17 fans all together. it’s very very long and it suffers sometimes from having being written a decade ago, but im making my way through it right now and it still fucking holds up. i really do recommend reading at least some of it, you can stop around halfway through and you should be fine.

season 8***

rinse, repeat by ias (3k, teen and up)

exploration of cas when naomi forces him to kill copies of dean and then his perspective in goodbye stranger.

my keeper by whelvenwings (5k, gen)

another goodbye stranger fic, this time with bonus artist cas!

though the course may change by imogenbynight (51k, e)

au after 8x23. i love this fic so much. dean accidentally ends up making himself have to go undercover with cas and pretend to be fake engaged. also, charlie and kevin. do i need to say more.

apres by imogenbynight (24k, e)

au after 8x23 where dean goes to find cas after the angels fall in paris 🥺

*i have found exactly one bela fic that i loved, and zero henriksen fics that i loved, so IF u have recs for those. i would appreciate that.

**mostly the s6 fics i read were uh...vampire dean fics...

***have found one (1) good dean/aaron fic but im still searching for the perfect purgatory crew fics