#this is my house. i can complain abt accessibility if i want to

[quirkle2]

not to complain abt acnh on main in 2024 but i rly do wish we had some sort of visual effect or notification or Something when a balloon rolls by. they're Very easy to miss without audio. people who are hard of hearing or deaf or playing the game without audio miss them a lot, myself included, and i have likely missed a shit ton of diy recipes and furniture alone from simply never knowing they're up there. only times i know they're there is when i incidentally see one's shadow on the ground nearby

[jessica-writes22]

I posted 909 times in 2022

That's 909 more posts than 2021!

473 posts created (52%)

436 posts reblogged (48%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bloodlessheirbyjacques

@jessica-writes22

@bardic-tales

@athena-anna-rose

@jacquesfindswritingandadvice

I tagged 852 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#writeblr - 429 posts

#wip: trials of avaidia - 400 posts

#answered - 295 posts

#ask answered - 212 posts

#writeblr community - 172 posts

#blorbo blursday - 77 posts

#wbw - 75 posts

#ask game - 54 posts

#storyteller saturday - 49 posts

#worldbuilding wednesday - 47 posts

Longest Tag: 113 characters

#not complaining abt interactions but its a bit sad to see a whole wall of just likes and nothing else. .. weird .

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

OC Superlatives tag

Thanks, @athenswrites for tagging me :)

I did this for the seven sins of my Trials of Avaidia WIP

Most arrogant: Kian Heart. He is the sin of Pride so it's pretty understandable how he doesn't have a single humble bone in his body, and most likely never will.

Most humble: Marge Woods. Even as the sin of gluttony, they always want to help people no matter what.

Most charming: Fraya Smith. As the sin of lust people are always drawn to her. With one nice word, and a pretty look she can make people swoon. Plus her powers make it 100 times easier.

Most aggressive: Lyssa Leren is the sin of wrath, so don't fuck with here or... it won't be pretty.

Most talkative: Elijah Woods, they love to talk about random shit, and share everything they know with people.

Least talkative: Lyssa Leren (unless angry), she has major trust issues so she doesn't like to get close to people.

Most relatable: All of them in a way.

Least relatable: Again all of them in a way lol

Most ambitious: Invidia Moss. She is the sin of envy and always goes after what she wants no matter what. A close second is Avarus Stan, as the sin of greed he loves to get what he wants and will always go after it.

Most easy-going: Marge Woods. They like to go with the flow and will deal with whatever comes their way.

Most high-strung: Lyssa and Fraya, both like to have a set plan and hate when things go wrong.

Most pretentious: Kian. He has very high standards and always loves for things to go his way, and hates when they don't.

Most cheerful: Fraya, or Marge. They both love to take care of their friends and are very empathetic people.

Most patient: Avarus is a very patient person because of his backstory he kinda had to learn how to be, but if you push him he will snap.

Most diligent: Elijah, they hate to leave things not finished, and will end up hyper-focusing on it and get it done pretty fast.

Tagging: @jacquesfindswritingandadvice, @athenixrose, @annarts05, @asomeoneperson, @chaoschaoswriting, and is open to whoever else wants to participate :)

23 notes - Posted June 29, 2022

#4

Magic System of Avaidia

Here is Avaidia's Magic System :)

Types of Magic:

Fighting Magic: The ability to fuse physical combat with Magic. - The people who specialize in this type of magic are called Warriors and are from Prides kingdom, Wraths kingdom, Humilities Kingdom, and Patience Kingdom

Healing magic: Users can use magic to heal others or themselves - The people who specialize in this type of magic are called Healers and are from Sloths kingdom, Envy's kingdom, Lust kingdom, Kindness's Kingdom, Chasity's Kingdom, Diligences Kingdom

Everyday Magic: Magic that helps people in everyday life - Used for day-to-day things, like helping around the house, gardening etc

Teaching Magic: Consists of Healing, Fighting, Everyday, et: - The people who specialize in this type of magic are called Scholars and are from Gluttony's kingdom, Greeds kingdom, Temperance Kingdom, Charities Kingdom

Ancient magic Ancient magic isn't used daily, it was forgotten many many years ago. Scholars are still researching it to figure out what it is, how to access it, and what it does.

Star Scarred: When two people's magic (connected to their souls) connects because of a bond that is within them.

Leaves a heart-shaped scar on the back of their neck

Detect emotions, telepathy, protective over their partner, stronger magic when together

Soul Magic: Connect to a person's soul stone

Telepath, Persuasion, future telling, Star Scarred connection

Blood Magic: Connects back to the 7 original sins and virtues. As a result of this only Royals can use blood magic.

Causes the Sins and Virtues to stop aging at 25

To use it they have to draw blood (usually by slicing their palm)

Blood Binds: where the person's blood helps to seal large wounds and replenish the person's strength and blood

Blood manipulation: create, shape, and manipulate blood

Hell: Sins blood: Black Royal Blood: Golden Citizens: Red

Heaven: Virtues blood: White Royal Blood: Silver Citizens: Blue

How are spells cast:

Sins and virtues use a gesture for their special power

Citizens don't have a special ability

To use the magic you say spell

Spirit Pets:

The spirit pets are part of the sins and virtues souls: It's essentially their soul stone, but it helps to guide them instead of boosting their power

Notes:

Everyone is born with magic and it appears at age 10

See the full post

36 notes - Posted June 7, 2022

#3

Writerblr Intro!

About me:

- You can call me Jessica, Jess or Jessica Write - She/Her - I'm a Leo - I love astrology, magic, writing, reading, sports and a bunch of other things - My asks are always open and feel free to tag me in anything - Feel free to send me writing prompts to write about - My Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/ThatStoryGirl33 - List of my OC's Let me know if you want to be added to my Tag list

WIP Introduction:

Trials of Avaidia

"Lyssa Leren is the sin of wrath and was supposed to meet up with the other seven deadly sins and virtues before going to Avaidia. Everything was going to plan until Fear kidnaps the virtues and the sins are plunged into a new world filled with reunions, new friendships, new rules, love, and hardships. She must find a way to adapt to this world, accept who she is, and rescue the virtues before all of Avaidia is in danger."

Genre: YA Fantasy, magic, romance

Minor Sub-Genres: Trauma, royalty, seven deadly sins…

Setting: Modern/Victorian setting with nobility & royalty

Tropes & Themes: Romance, Enemies to Lovers, Found Family, Power & Corruption, Trauma, PTSD, LGBTQ+

MAIN CHARACTERS: The sins

Lyssa Norell Leren (she/her): The sin of wrath with a traumatic past, and a master assassin. She must learn to accept who she is, take the crown, and save the ones she loves.

Kian Heart (he/him): The badass boy who doesn't want you to know his true self. A master swordsman and the sin of pride.

Invidia Moss (she/her): The sin of envy and the will to be perfect. She must learn to accept herself for who she is and help the people of her kingdom.

Marge Woods (they/them): The bubbly sin of gluttony must learn not to let people's words get to them. And they want to grow stronger and show the world that who you are, who you love and what you doesn't define you.

Elijah Woods (they/them): The smart sin of Sloth must overcome obstacles and help the people they love, and show the world that they can do anything.

Freya Smith (she/her): As the sin of lust she is a literal goddess. With a hard past life, she must grow past it and learn to put her trust in friends and lovers.

Avarus Stan (he/him): As the sin of greed his life hasn't been completely clean, with a broken family, and other issues. This proper badass kid must learn to heal.

Master Post: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/jessicas-story-blog22/686049227760140288?source=share

Demon Queen (Bakugo x reader):

Kiritz Y/N has a very powerful quirk and has gone through a lot in her life. With a secret past can she manage to get into U.A. and start over and hopefully make some new friends, and become a hero like she always wanted. Or will her past come back to haunt her and destroy everything she has worked for? When she first meets Bakugo Katsuki she sees him as a rival, an equal and a friend. But what happens when things start to blow up? WIll everything be ruined or will they get through it all?

Link to post: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/jessicas-story-blog22/687515196495921152?source=share

The link includes more about the story and y/n's quirk

Please share this post so I can start sharing my stuff with you!

38 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

#2

Writerblr Intro!

About me

Hey, I'm Jessica Wright, but you can call me Jess! I love reading and writing fantasy along with learning about astrology and playing sports. I'd love to talk about my WIP with anyone, or anything fantasy related.

I love interacting with other Writeblrs so feel free to tag me in any tag games, dm me, send ask during sts, wbw, Blorbo Blursday etc!!! I will always answer back and if its wbw, Blorbo Blursday, or sts I'll 100% send you an ask back :)

I try and be as inclusive as possible in my writing so you'll definitely see me asking questions about many different subjects to make sure I'm doing things right :) I am also trying to make my WIPS cast as inclusive as possible!

See the full post

46 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

For every 💬 I get in my inbox, I’ll post a quote from my own writing that I’m proud of!

or

For every 🖊 + Character name I get in my inbox, I'll tell you all about them!

129 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[winchesternova-k]

my dad came around to help me out w smth and i didn’t realise until i started complaining how annoyed i am at my uncle for uprooting the financials completely. long story short, now that he’s sorted things out w the government i am going to be responsible for all bills and groceries pertaining to the house. i have no income (aside from $10 a week my dad still gives me). i can’t work and i’m not on benefits bc the person i’m caring for is in care and i can’t apply for it until she comes home. he thinks i should just apply for disability (which is a pain to get onto and the definition is so narrow idek if i’d fit it even tho i’m too disabled to work) and could potentially get me in trouble for fraud bc i’m my ma’s carer

so basically i don’t have access to my bank account which could potentially help w this and i’m probably gonna have to ask my dad for more money and i’m so fucking angry bc my uncle said he’d help w the bills and now that my ma isn’t directly involved he’s going to fuck off bc he can tell everyone what a good son he is (i’m certain this is to spite me btw. he once told me he thought i deserved to be homeless bc i didn’t agree w him on smth i don’t even remember now. i don’t think he feels that way anymore bc he got it sorted so that my ma and i won’t lose the house but mainly bc he knows my ma would never forgive him if he made that happen)

i just wish he’d fucking tell the truth instead of telling me he’s going to help bc as always he’s let the side down just as i was stupid enough to believe he might actually not screw me over this time bc my ma was involved and bc he’s literally fucking dying and won’t shut up abt how much he wants to make amends w everyone (it wouldn’t have worked w me but i did at least think he wasn’t actively trying to fuck me over and look! he’s done it again!!)

he also seems to think government applications go a lot faster than they do bc this starts next week and centrelink takes at least a month to read over everything

[pinolitas]

I'm tired of "friends" who won't go to black or brown neighborhoods that aren't gentrified!! it's not any more dangerous than the rest of the city!

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[soldier-poet-king]

My father just woke up and came to get mad at me for being awake and playing fe3h at 3am and like??? He said 'oh do whatever you want' but his tone absolutely indicated I should NOT do that. And I had A SINGLE lamp on and my headphones in so he cant complain abt light or noise

And I just??? I'm sorry 3am is the only time I can get any gotdam peace and quiet in this house without being annoyed 24/7 and also the only time o have access to the switch since the bratty 11 yr old uses it all waking hours to play fortnite

Also? Blaming the fact that I sleep in till noon everyday on this? Its MY christmas break I can do what I want and even when I go to bed at 10pm I lie in bed til noon bc I'm DEPRESSED I might as well enjoy the evening hours

The real kicker? I'm 99% sure my 20 yr old brother is out rn with friends IN A PANDEMIC bc he 'went skating' at 9PM but hasnt come home unless he came back while I was in the shower but his bedroom door is open and he never sleeps with it open so I doubt it

My parents are too chicken shit to discipline any of my brothers but bc I'm the eldest and a girl and have anxiety and am their third spouse and marriage counselor I have to deal with all their fuckin shit just bc I need somewhere to live for free

[gray-warden]

What is the problem with white people traveling to asia without money? Like how are you going to brand calling the cops on someone without a visa as justice, then try and spin them pretending that the native language (which they speak fluently enough to at least pretend is their only language) is reminiscent of colonialism? Also you made it seem like American propaganda is effective in china with your tags which is weird. Just seems like y'all got galaxy brain with racism so hard it got harmful.

when did i say i’d call the cops? i wouldn’t do anything about it besides getting pissed internally lmao. and when did i say anything abut languages? i have genuinely no clue what you mean about american propaganda in china, like, i mean it when i say i don’t get what you’re saying there. i didn’t even mention china in my tags at all, and i only mentioned the US specifically when i mentioned the case of that american woman who wanted to “play doctor” and caused deaths. still, white privilege and racism are not an “american propaganda” thing, it’s something that affects the whole world, white people will pretty much always have an easier time with lots of stuff, including being automatically seen as more qualified and trustworthy, and with law enforcement everywhere, since colonialism affected the entire world, very few countries were never invaded by europeans.what i’m saying is: - it’s bad when people from rich countries that often got rich through colonialism, by harming other countries, complain abt immigrants coming from the countries they harmed because those countries were harmed in that way. even if those people now weren’t responsible for it, they still benefit from how their country developed while it had colonies, and the people in ex-colonies still suffer because of their past as colonies. - an american woman going to africa to make herself feel good about helping others when she ended up killing people bc she wasn’t a doctor like she claimed to be? that’s bad. i hope it’s obvious enough to understand why that’s bad. (also, i looked it up again, i had briefly read abt it at some point, but it was a while back so i didn’t remember all the details, but here: https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2019/08/09/749005287/american-with-no-medical-training-ran-center-for-malnourished-ugandan-kids-105-d she clearly wanted to help, but setting up a health clinic when you have zero qualifications for that is not the way to do it at all, that’s just obvious. if she really wanted to help for the sake of helping, she could’ve donated to groups that can actually help instead. - travelling is great, but it’s not a basic human necessity like food or housing. going on a trip to a place that you /know/ has lots of inequality and then relying on the locals to keep travelling more is just stupid. would i call the cops or whatever on them? no. but i still think it’s stupid. i know that at least here in brazil, if we got begpackers, those people would get a lot more money than people who are begging for money to actually survive, because the tourists would most likely be white people from richer countries, and i know how people would be a lot more likely to give money to those people, who don’t need it to survive (bc they’re white and from “first world countries”, and just wanna travel, unlike the homeless and usually black people in poverty you see every day who get treated as lesser than human by way too many people here - i know that homelessness won’t be solved by people giving homeless people money, but it might still help them survive, get a meal, catch a bus/train so they can go somewhere they may have family or to a shelter). i’m not saying you gotta have a ton of money if you wanna travel, but travelling somewhere with the intention of relying on others when you could just, idk, not do that? it’s a stupid thing to do. what if they don’t help you? are you gonna be stuck then? then you made a bad, irresponsible decision. or do you have enough money to go back in case that happens? then you shouldn’t be begging random people on the street for money. i got nothing against people who travel with little money by hitchhiking, doing odd jobs here and there for it, who sell some stuff they might have, but deciding to travel and, since the beginning of your plans, intending on having to beg strangers for money is just a very irresponsible decision at best. people doing that shit are usually just doing it for the “enlightening experience” or whatever, which is how many western people approach asia, there’s a big stereotype of “exotic enlightenment”, especially when it comes to the southern and southeastern parts of the continent (based on what i’ve heard from both ppl who go there and people who live there - i, as mentioned in the post, am from brazil).People who do that kind of thing are usually extremely condescending and stereotyping about their trips to “exotic places” where they “seek enlightenment and truth” or whatever othre stuff they may say.No, i wouldn’t call the cops on them or anything like that, that was /one/ picture out of lots in the post, it wasn’t the point of it, and if you thought so, you really missed it. and to be honest, i was kinda tired, so i did just scroll kinda fast at some point and might not have looked that closely at a couple of pics because they were just more examples of the same phenomenon. and i didn’t really pay attention to the one with police, tbh. i’d never call the police on anyone begging for money, even if it’s a case like that. i don’t support that, but i still support the general message of the post.if you’re travelling and then get robbed or something like that, or a medical emergency happens, or anything else that might need a lot of money, and then you do end up needing more money than you had in your plans for the trip, then that kind of situation would be more understandable (but also, that’s why you should have some way to have access to money in an emergency situation, even if through a friend or family member, because those things can happen in trips). but if you don’t have an emergency plan, i’d understand actually needing the money, but that’s not the case for most begpackers. there’s a reason why many people in parts of asia, especially SE asia afaik, have been complaining about them a lot, there have been lots lately, based on what people >who actually live thereseeing certain parts of the world as “my place to explore so i can finally be enlightened” or “a place where we, the Good White People™, have to intervene so we can save the Poor Starving Kids™” or “a place where i can become one with nature in the wild, savage, mysterious jungles” or any other thing that ignores that it’s just a place with normal people who have their own lives and culture and all that (as much as where you’re from is a place with normal people who have their own lives and culture and all that) just reduces those places and their people to stereotypes that are often harmful. of course there are gonna be differences between where you’re from and where you’re going to, if there weren’t then there wouldn’t be a point in travelling, but it shouldn’t be hard to just not be stereotyping and ignorant about it all, you can enjoy travelling without being Like That.(and the post also talked about how much easier it is to get jobs or just to generally be seen as more trustworthy and qualified when you’re white and everyone else around you isn’t, and that’s def also a true and important thing to acknowledge)anyway, you sent this message to me specifically and mentioned my tags as well, so i answered, but if you wanna complain more about people who point out that begpackers are annoying and often full of entitlement and stereotypical views of certain places, then maybe ask a person who lives somewhere with lots of begpackers, someone who isn’t white. they might be able to tell you more about the whole phenomenon and the people who do it, how annoying they can be, etc, since they’ve experienced it firsthand rather than just heard a lot about it.

[aemoglobin]

hmmmmmm dumb thoughts about friends and money

big part of why i stopped going out with IRL friends once i was in college is because i didn’t have a job and only had a very limited amount of spending money...and was always talked down to because of that.......like i’m really sorry i’m not NT enough to hold down a part time job AND learn to drive AND go to college as a full time student, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. i know some people can do it, i know a lot of ND people who have forced themselves to do it, but 2012 me was NOT in a good position to do so, mentally or emotionally!!

i had so little spending money as a college student, i had maybe $100/mo for weekly bus passes ($15ish) + food/water + student expenses like notebooks and scantrons. my parents did not allow me to take food from the house (only water) and i was at college ALL DAY so i was basically forced to eat from the cafeteria, which was expensive. i had a reputation amongst my social circle for eating their leftovers at lunch, because if i didn’t i would go hungry for the whole day. it’s embarrassing to think about nowadays but like. i did what i had to. and i was still hungry most of the time. my professors would get mad at me for passing out during class and i had one fail me for that alone (even though i did literally everything else in his class, i just wasn’t awake during his lectures). 

tangent but every time i see ppl complain abt ‘those college students who had parents that paid for their classes and books’.......like sure my parents paid for my classes and most of my books, but they didn’t pay for ANYTHING ELSE and it was impossible to get a job where i lived at the time unless you knew how to drive (i did not have a car, i did not have access to one as my sibs were both in hs), i was also literally at school the whole fucking day for 4 days a week and had homework to do for the other 3 days. i was not good at managing my time. i could not have possibly held any sort of paying job AND retained my sanity at the same time. i KNOW other people can and have done it. i couldn’t. 

back to whining: they always wanted to go out to eat, or get coffee, or go shopping, and i would just be like :))))) and eat before leaving the house, bring my own water bottle, and only buy one small thing from the sale section :))))))))) ‘why aren’t you buying anything’ what part of “i have no spending money” aren’t you understanding!!!!!!!!!!!1

like even now when D wants to hang out she always makes a big deal about buying me lunch or asking me if i want stuff when we’re at the mall and like :) thank you i do appreciate this but you are also making me feel like a huge fucking failure for not being successful at finding a job in the 9 years since i left high school  and i am getting a wee bit tired of it :))))))

i am just not wired to accept things and i hate it when friends buy me stuff or send me money because i know! i can’t repay them! and most of them say it’s fine not to, these are gifts, but!!!!!!!! dumb brain won’t take that for an answer!!

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se3, ep10 (part 2)

-Yuki’s stages of growth:

I love yuki! I used to say that yuki’s growth is the most clear & steady going, it was done with much care & involving the audience in every step. However, I now think there is sth missing from his last stage of growth. Yuki’s growth is divided into 3 stages:

Realizing his weakness ( Mom’s tohru stage), in se01 & most of se02, took way longer than it should, imo. But the ideas were well-written, the concept of needing a maternal figure is original & we connected with him a lot.

Searching for himself ( Kakeru stage & friendship) in se02, took appropriate time. well-written, gradual, clear & fulfilling.

Becoming his own person ( Machi) & (kyo: altho this new dynamics just started) in se03. very little time, hasty development.

I’ve talked abt stage 1 & 2 enough. I loved the ideas, the struggle & the writing. I had few complains about how excessive the tohru-stage was & how it could’ve been reduced to benefit both tohru & yuki without stealing anything from their growth. Now, we see the consequences of not planning yuki’s growth moderately throughout the 3 seasons. The biggest element that suffered is his stage as a normal teenage guy with normal romantic feelings to contradict his child-like stage when he needed a motherly care & support from another female his age. By the time se03 started lots of characters with their arcs not starting yet needed the spotlight! Yuki was a character in the final stage of his arc, so his entire romantic journey condensed to (a) fixing machi’s issues to create a bond: se03, e03, (b) deciding to confess the curse & feelings: se03 ep.5. Their relationship can happen off-screen as well, that’s fine, but the audience who spent 2 seasons hearing yuki’s thoughts abt realizing his struggle to acknowledge a motherly love, should have been involved in yuki’s thoughts in realizing a romantic love. All you need, is a very short access to yuki’s thoughts. Him looking at her while doing student council activities & telling us he loves her, not him grabbing her hand  thinking “ oh gotta tell her my biggest secret & test her love to me”. So, it is a shame normal teenage boy yuki in love part is missing before the confession & becoming an official couple.

-Yuki’s growth after facing kyo:

This part that is confusing me. Part of making yuki become his own person is making him face kyo & they both set their differences aside & connect. They both becoming free from the “ I hate you” that the sohma system constructed & their trauma reinforced. This is huge as you can connect it to the zodiac legend: The cat never hated the rat for tricking it & the rat was never bad. The whole legend crumbles down as the two zodiacs connect.

--During the fight: yuki was his real self: someone who cares for others with burning passion. Yuki completely dropped down any remaining attachment to his mask & was his most open & emotional stage. The boys connected in a dark dim-let hallway between their rooms. Signaling they met in the middle. Now they see eye to eye.

--After the fight: Kyo left the darkness into the sunny streets, decided to face his dad & reconcile with his past, was rewarded with the knowledge that he didn’t have anything to do with his mom’s death. He left his dad’s house determined to chase his life. Move forward. He had doubts again as he neared tohru but those doubts added humanity & realistic reluctance. You just dont go 100% strong suddenly. But it is so weird that yuki kinda regressed a little after the fight?? he stayed in the dark dim-let hallway? why? His body language confused me so much!

Yuki looked broken, hugging himself, hiding his face, head buried, exactly as he was in akito’s room in his flashbacks!!!

We hear the same voice-over from the ep opener abt mistakes & trails. The voice-over fits kyo so much but it is so weird attached to yuki now in this exact stage after the fight while he’s sad? Why is yuki sad to begin with??? Is it because yuki is the writer & she needed to comment on kyo’s state thro yuki’s voice-over? This has been done before in se02, ep14. But why attach it with sad imagery of yuki? the voice-over can be attached to him being relived, calm & collected.

Shouldn’t he be relived & liberated knowing the guy who hated him & hurt him was in reality admiring him all this time?! Shouldn’t he be proud of himself for standing up to tohru? for opening up abt his feelings?

Shouldn’t he be happy to empty his chest from the long hidden secret of admiring kyo! Shouldn’t he be clear headed now? stronger? like how kyo is stronger now?

Shouldn’t he be glad that he helped kyo get his act together. He did another person whom he presumably hate a favor just like tohru did him a favor. I’m not saying he should be happily jumping in the house, lol, but he shouldn’t be sad, too!

Why staying in the dark? Why sulking? Why having existential thoughts abt life in general until machi saved him from all that with her call.

-Kureno/ Arisa/ Akito: (the end of the non-existence triangle):

Arisa unexpectedly found out the man she loved is hospitalized. Akito tells her I stabbed him. Arisa hugs her. I’m sorry, but what? XD. Shouldn’t Arisa at least say: what? is he okay? Not judging, but why did you stab him? I mean even if Arisa is okay with akito & all, but as a first reaction that was so weirdly-written, lol. I get the need to hastily close this chapter, But I duno it could’ve been written better even with the intention of making Arisa hug akito. oh well~ moving on. Arisa says she’s sorry she wasnt in kureno’s 26 years & I was like yeah, cuz you weren’t born yet, girl! You can plan to spend the rest of your life with him, but I fail to see the romance in the sentiment of feeling left out from the life of a person older than me. I simply wasn’t born. Anyway, moving on~ He then tells her he needs to leave /break up with akito for akito’s sake! oh, kureno, you’re such a kind/fool guy, but OMG, do I wish to hear my crush/lover say he’ll break up with his ex for his ex’s sake!  I get this is Airisa thing, to love foolish/kind ppl. I get it. She appreciate that & wasn't offended. But I cant help feeling those lines weren’t romantic at all! Moving on ~again~ she then tells him, she’ll follow him & won’t say why. Teasing him that she loves him. so cute! but also such a teenage girl thing to say, so....~~ lol.. Now, really Moving on ~ He’s cute, she’s gorgeous, so, their ship sailed~

-Running towards the future: (wanting you)

The ep closed with both kyo & yuki chasing their future in union. Kyo determined but worried, yuki surprised but blushing. Machi took yuki from the darkness of his hallway to the sunny streets to give him sth, unknowingly setting their 1st date! Tohru runs away from kyo, which he responded by more determination contradicting his defeated self when tohru confessed to him in ep8. Can I say seeing kyo runs after tohru is so fulfilling after seeing him push her away! yes, tohru, give him hard time! yes, make him bend da knee, queen! XD. I guess next ep we’ll see two confessions!

I can’t say much abt yuki/machi confession as I don’t know their romantic dynamics at all, but I have no doubt the director will make yuki’s confession worthy to compensate the lack of their growth as a romantic ship! can’t wait!!

As for kyoru, oh boy~ tohru looks hurt, as expected! her eyes are tearful. Kyo has to show her the old defeated, broken & accepting-death boy is gone now! he’ll have to show her how much he wants her!  That’s the key word: “ it is crazy how much I want her” ~ the boy who thought he deserved nothing but death is now actively wanting the best girl in all anime! Miss. Tohru Honda. My girl!

Side Notes:

I appreciate the personal privacy theme in furuba: no one knows the details of any couples fights or loves except them. Hatori/kana, hatori/mayoko: except shigre the matchmaker!, tohru/kyo: except yuki heard by chance & neither tohru nor kyo talked abt their fight to anybody, but everybody knows those two fools in love, XD. Yuki/machi: kyo didnt even know yuki is thinking of someone. but then again, I dont know if machi herself knows yet. shigure/akito: ok, I’ll skip this one until I’m confident I can express/ understand it. lol

Kyo’s face as he left his dad’s house! the determination! so proud of him!! but kyo’s I’m-so-crazily-in-love face is kyo’s best face, tho. The tenderness!

I’m the girl who rolls her eyes when someone tricks me to watch a “romantic film, like The Notebook” ... Also, i’m the girl who screamed when kyo chased tohru in a typical romcom fashion! XD. Takaya-san, what did you do to me?! AAAAAAAA~~

Kyo’s questions of why? how? what? he loves abt tohru, then ahh~ I just love her... I want her~ then the “ ppl shouldn't run when getting out of hospital” are the best tension release after the scumbag dad scene! I was amused, in tears, laughing, crying, cheering & above all! so happy!

MACHI was not allowed to turn her face to the viewers the entire ep! WHY!!!!!!!! T_T. You could’ve shown me her face as she was worried that tohru is yuki’s gf. or her shock at hearing ? mom? T_T.

haru is love. haru is dumb. haru is the best. lol.

Kakeru responding with ease “ she’s his mom” is the best & most realistic thing a friend should do to his friend! XD.

Why doesn't kyo (who is rich btw) own sneakers with different colors? lol. why the exact same color! is tohru the only one allowed to change designs? XD.

Yuki’s outfit today is his best outfit! Also, if blushing yuki is yuki’s default face in his romantic time with machi! then it is so refreshing! altho, i think machi is the blusher. lol. I duno, they both blush? maybe he’s similar to how haru is? I guess, we’ll know next ep! =D

Question: what was the joke in haru’s scene abt entering the house when yuki hit him & said so crass? I dont get it..... lol

Shigure was allowed to use his old jokes abt wrecking his house. I missed those! XD

Furuba’s voice-overs are always badly implemented. Now we have two voice overs of yuki with the same content exactly: one in the ep opener & one near the end. why couldn’t one be enough? Why repeat the same speech twice? this reduces its value & hinders the animation dynamics.

[lookwhatilost]

on my own tonight, completely, so it seems. i think dan is at some woman’s house and i didn’t tell andrew because i didn’t really feel like hanging out w him. i need my space and spending most of my free time w him doesn’t always allow for that

he called me earlier in a foul mood and just went on the same rant that i hear from him multiple times every day – he thinks his entire life is flushed down the toilet bc he fucked up a lot when he was living on his own, he’s convinced he’s never going to get a good job and be stuck working at the hardware store forever, he hates his job, he’s mad that he can’t stay home and do fuck all during lockdown (as if it’s a vacation and not tremendously stressful), he thinks his smoking is catching up to him and he can’t afford to visit a doctor bc he’s already in so much debt after being in the psych ward. i honestly dnt know how much more of it i can take.

like when i was at my worst mentally, i definitely sounded like a broken record sometimes, but i dnt think i was ever as bad as him. he barely talks abt anything else

i reflexively compare him to justin all the time bc he’s the most accessible benchmark to me, but like... jus always complained abt work too but he was like... lighthearted abt it even if he was in a bad mood. he didn’t keep digging this horrible conversational grave abt the same shit every couple of hours. he laughed. if he was in a bad mood and needed to jst stew in his misery he’d ask me for space to process it. nbd.

i want to be supportive but honestly it’s rly fucking exhausted. what happened, happened. i wasnt there to see any of it. i feel bad that he’s in a bad financial place when he had every advantage in the world, but it’s also not my responsibility to pick up the pieces. and i feel like it’s expected of me when he literally. will. not. drop. the. subject.

and since he’s been bitter abt this for 3 odd years now... i doubt it will get any better. and it’s already wearing me thin.

i always find myself wondering how much longer i can do this but sadly im too much of a pussy to break anyone’s heart bc it makes me feel terrible. i dnt know how to follow through on it. every time i’ve broken up w andrew i jst end up caving in when i start to miss him and he contacts me. i wish i wasnt so bad at this stuff

[unstable-fucko-boingo]

right so basically i’ve thought abt this for a while and uh.

it’s a lot harder to share with ppl when u don’t know when ur going to have that thing next.

don’t take this too srsly cuz it’s rly not much of a problem. i’m not complaining here y’all, i’m analyzing myself. like... i live in a pretty big house. like. it’s THICC. my dad has a very well paying job. i go to a good public school and i can go out of the country sometimes. i never have to worry abt going hungry and such. i have super comfortable living conditions.

but the thing is. i’ve been called selfish all my life by everyone in my family. (mostly my older brother, mom, and dad). and i get that people need to at least be aware of their flaws, if not try to fix them. so i’ve been deliberating with myself about my own flaws. and yeah. they’re right.

but they’re also.... kinda wrong. like... my parents will ask me to do something, and i will, but i won’t jump up to do it when i’m in the middle of something else? and my older brother would call me selfish when i wouldn’t share snacks or candy with him. but that was when i was younger, and we rarely had access to sweets or snacks that weren’t something like raisins. and i’ve realized that, when you have regular access to something, it’s a lot easier to share it. because it’s not suddenly a rare precious thing that must be guarded.

for example. i went shopping at a thrift store with some friends a while ago. we wandered around, found some cool clothes, tried them on, etcetera. but when the trip was winding down, i was still looking for clothes. the thing is, i can’t drive. i don’t have my license yet, even though i’m eighteen, because driving terrifies me. and since i can’t drive, it’s virtually impossible for me to have a job. so, on the extremely rare occasion that i am in an actual store, with money i can actually spend, i want to make the most of it. and i felt bad about making them wait. they said they were okay with it, but i still felt bad. and i guess that’s what you’re supposed to feel when you’re wasting peoples time. but also, the opportunity isn’t there for me a lot of the time. so i made the most of it.

another example... Screen Time (as my parents like to call it). because i’ve been struggling with my grades (and with contributing to the household), my dad will limit my Screen Time™️. i cant watch shows or movies, play video games, etc. sometimes i can’t even access the internet... which makes doing homework a bit difficult (i’ve tried explaining this to him, but you know. he’s a dad). so when i get the chance to do so, i will binge. i’ll watch a show for nine full hours, which isnt really great but it’s the only opportunity i have. and then he’ll use his app thing to cut off my access to the screens in the house, and i’ll read a book or something. but i cherish the moments i get to watch a show i like, or to contact my friends, or to play a fun video game.

is that a bad thing?? like yes, it is bad and unhealthy to indulge for hours and then get cut off, but it’s not really my fault. i mean, yes, i definitely do make that choice to make the most of something, because i don’t know when that thing will be available to me again, which is unfair to others (like when i stay home instead of going out to dinner with my family because i rarely get to be alone in the house), which sucks, because it reinforces the codependence i have to my parents. it doesn’t help that i don’t have a license or a job.

but recently i’ve had more access to snacks. yeah that’s a weird sentence but it’ll make sense, bear with me here. i’ve recently had a lot more access to yummy snacks, which i’m very excited about. cuz we lov to cronch! and instead of hoarding them, i actually share them. with my friends. and that’s another thing. i do like to share, and to be considerate to others. mutual respect is good. but the thing is, i don’t really do that for people in my family. my mom and dad are paying for the majority of my college career, and i can’t even pay them back with basic chores and thoughtfulness. they constantly berate me for that, and part of me wants to say i don’t owe them anything. i don’t really think i do, in the idealistic way of thinking.

but realistically? i owe them. a lot. and that terrifies me. because i’m scared i will always be in debt to them, and i will never be able to escape them. they do so much for me, and i don’t know how to do things myself, and i won’t learn, because it’s so much easier to endure it and have things like college taken care of. but another part of me strains to be free. i mean. don’t get me wrong, i do love my family, my parents. but people aren’t purely good or bad. we all have good and bad traits, some more bad or good than others, but we all still have both nonetheless... and the bad traits in me are brought out by the bad traits in my family, and vice versa. my little brother is very easily goaded, and my dad is very good at riling people up. i’ve learned to accept what he says with a nod, or to just ignore him (but subtly, or he’ll get mad). but my little brother hasn’t learned this, and i don’t know if he ever will. he gets mad at my dad for being unfair, and he’s right to do so, but he doesn’t understand that he can’t do anything about it. even though my little brother isn’t the greatest person, i still worry for him— partly because he’s my brother, and i love him, but also because i know he could be so much better if he were in a healthy environment. and well. i don’t really know how to continue this, but i’m glad i wrote this all out. my stream of consciousness is chaotic, so writing it out makes it more linear. anyways. i hope to feel better with myself someday. and i hope my family members find healthier environments/habits/relationships. including myself. so yeah. thanks for reading, even if you didn’t read the whole thing.

tldr: i’m a kid with upper middle class parents and my life is taken care of but my relationship with my parents is strained and it makes me feel like i’m a selfish kid and a burden and that i’m indebted to them.