Tumgik
#this is my one true love i can't get away from it.......
lis-likes-fics · 2 days
Text
Your Delusion
Pairing: dark!Dream of the Endless x Reader Word Count: 4.8k words Warnings: NSFW, dubcon, somnophilia, fingering, oral (f!receiving), multiple orgasms, forced(?) breeding, swearing... A/N: This was to get me out of Writer's Block. Kind of worked? Dream is a bit (ridiculously) delulu in here. He's doing some mental gymnastics in here, and I applaud him cause same. Anyway, enjoy this strange, strange man.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You look so beautiful like this.
Wrapped in your sheets with your eyes so delicately closed, lips so delicately parted, breaths so delicately passed, you look like a dream. My dream.
And you shall always be mine.
No matter what you may believe.
Your rejection was a white hot burn in my chest, a clawing in my throat. The searing courses through my veins, but I know that I cannot blame you for what you had said. You meant only the best, you meant only not to worry me.
But you shouldn't need to worry. Not about such things.
When I saw you in that field, my field—Fiddler’s Green—I knew then and there that I could await our union no longer. I had to have you, I had to keep you.
You turned when you felt me near, and your eyes filled with confusion for just a moment before the recognition of my presence replaced it. You always knew it was me in the end. No matter how many dreams you dreamt.
“Dream lord,” you greeted me, with a smile so soft and true. Oh, how I love your smile.
I took slow steps across the green grasses beneath me, slowly approaching. “It has been a while since you have come here.”
I usually find you with the brothers of the First Story, or perhaps with Lucienne in the library. Other days, you would wander through other fields or amongst the waters of the Golden Rivers. But not then.
Then, you stood in the flowers of Fiddler’s Green. The very place we first met.
“How are you?” I wondered.
You glanced away. It was a shy little gesture, and a quick one at that. In no time, your eyes were back to me and it meant the world. “Better now,” you mumbled, placing your hand against a tree. “I almost forgot how beautiful this place was.”
Though I would usually acknowledge your words, I cannot help but to stare. “I have missed you.” I cannot always find time to see you with all the work I find myself caught in, but when I do, you never disappoint. It had been a couple of nights since last we saw one another, but it was a couple of nights too long.
“I missed you, too.” You said it as though you truly meant it, and that was all I needed. “How have you been doing?”
“Thinking.” I moved closer. There was still too much distance between us.
You tilted your head gently. “About?”
“Many things,” I shrugged. “But mostly you.”
You seemed almost taken aback by what I said, but you remain as kind as ever. “Me?” you chuckled—a bashful thing, really.
My eyes never left you. You're so beautiful, I mustn't ever look away. Perhaps I may lose you if I do…
“I can't keep you from my mind.” I watched as your smile faltered and your face shifted. “Every moment, I think of you.”
You tried to take a step back, but I grabbed your hands and held them within mine. I let the words spill, and I confessed what I had been holding in all this time. “You come and you go from my realm as you please. You smile and laugh as though any being could resist falling for the very thought of you. I look at you, and I know that what I feel is true.”
You looked away from me, down at our hands joined so firmly in one another. You close your eyes shut, and you squeeze them tight. “Dream, I don't think I understand.”
Then I would help you understand. You needed to know how much I need you, how much I crave you.
“I long for you,” I confessed. “Your beauty, your touch, your heart… And I can't keep from you any longer, my dear.”
I stepped even closer, the distance nearly squashed as I set my forehead against your own. “Dream,” your voice seemed so far away, so uncertain. But you mustn't feel that way.
“Be mine,” the desperation began to become clearer in my voice. “Join me as my wife and queen.” My thumb brushed the finger where your wedding ring would be placed. I would almost feel it now… “I shall protect you with my life and love you with all that I am–”
“No.”
The icy chill of your disagreement, the stern tone of your voice, it created a sour taste on my tongue that I deeply resented.
I did not break away from you, though my grip on your hands may have tightened a bit more than they should have. “What?” My voice is low, upset and full of disbelief. You pulled your hands from mine, and I knew that I had to let you or else I may have hurt you.
“Dream…” you sighed heavily, like it pained you. “I can't.”
My eyes fixed on you, and I thought you could see the sudden darkness in them. Perhaps you did, but it wasn't enough.
“Why not?”
“Look at you.” You gesture toward me, taking another few steps away to establish a distance that left me cold. Your voice was not as steady as I'm sure you hoped it would be, but it was firm nonetheless. “Look at me.”
Your hand slapped back down to your side. It was a defeated movement. Hopelessness filled you in the form of tears, and that's how I knew you cared.
“You are the King of Dreams,” you continued, “one of the Endless, the fucking—ruler of sleep and unconsciousness, who's been alive for eons.”
Your brows knitted together, and your hand reaches across your frame. “I'm some…human you've been talking to for the last year.”
I swallowed thickly, the sourness turning to a bitter agony. “Don't you love me?”
I sound pathetic asking, but I simply could not go another moment without knowing.
“Of course I love you!” you exclaimed, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. The leaves in the trees around us shook incessantly, yet there was no wind. Your voice was weaker when you spoke again. “How can I not?”
Hope filled me, if only for a moment. If you loved me so, then why do you choose to deny me your hand?
“But I can't have you,” you explained. “I'm mortal, you're Endless. I will die, and you will go on living for damn near the rest of eternity.”
If time was what concerned you, we could take it away.
“I can get you immortality.” I tried to step closer, but you stepped away.
You shook your head. “It's not mine to take.”
It was times like these where I wish you weren't so good. It was times like these where I wish you were more selfish, more possessive.
“Nonsense,” I disagreed. “If you were mine, the whole of the Dreaming would be yours.” You grunted with such frustration that my own crawled up my neck and into my teeth.
“Morpheus.” I still don't like the way you said it…with such a stern resolve, so bitter and broken. “I can't… I've heard about what happens to those who love the Endless.”
I nearly scoff. “Is that what this is about?” I shake my head.
If danger was what concerned you, I would quash the threats set against my love.
“As I said, I can protect you.”
“I'm not afraid for me,” you urged, “I'm afraid for you.” Oh, my love, you hurt me so. “You've lost so much, I can't hurt you like that.” You took tentative steps away from me, looking down and finding it so difficult to reach my gaze. “It is easier for you to let me go and move on, than to humor this ‘relationship’ and get the both of us hurt in the process.”
You looked up, despite the pain, and you moved forward to take my face in your hands. I must close my eyes to relieve the ache of you so close to me now. Oh, how deeply you cut…
“Forget about me,” you insisted, trying to smile for my sake. I could see how much it hurt you. “I know it's not fair, but it's how it has to be.” When my hands land on your waist, you drop yours from my face.
Reluctantly, you set your hands on my wrists and pulled them slowly away from you. Your voice was soft, wavery. You were trying not to cry. “I am not meant for you.” You take a deep breath in. “And you were never meant for me.”
I didn't know what to say. Though, I suppose it did not matter, for the next moment, you were gone. You left from the Dreaming, and you were lost from my sight.
But that was days ago. You have been avoiding me since.
But I've been there. At every turn, I have been there. And I know you feel me, you know that I am always there—lurking, watching, waiting.
You know it's me when you glance over your shoulder for the shadow in the corner of your eye. You know it's me in the shiver down your spine, the phantom billow of my robes as I ghost past. You know it's me in the faintest sound of breath out of sync with your own.
And I can tell that you know it's me now, in the walls of your bedroom while you lay fast asleep. You look so beautiful, soft and serene. To be in your dreams is one thing, but to watch you lost in your sleep is something else. To know that my realm has so much power, so much influence over something as perfect as you… If only I could watch you sleep forever.
Perhaps I could… but I shall not.
I don't understand how you were so sure of how deeply we did not belong, but I did know that you were wrong. Of course you're wrong.
We are meant to be together. We always were and we always will be. I am not prepared to let you go.
You worry so deeply about us, my well-being and yours if anything were to happen. But as long as there was a gap between us, we could never be together. If our eternal marriage wasn't enough to fill that, then I would just have to find something else.
Something deeper. Something more important than bands on our fingers.
And every kingdom needs its heir.
I shed my robes, the sky hidden beneath them as black as the darkest sapphires. My gentle steps are silent as I approach, the moonlight glinting on your skin now blocked by my frame.
Slowly, I sit on the bed beside you, and I cannot resist the touch of my hand against your cheek. You're so soft and sweet, especially when you lean your face into my hand. I smile, and I know you love me.
I lean down ever so slowly, and my lips press to your forehead. Your head shifts, a little keen against me. Oh, how you beg for my touch, my darling.
And I shall give it.
I remove the covers from your body, revealing you to me. Your shirt rides up your belly, exposing the soft expanse of your skin to me. I place my hand there, and hear you sigh. I slide down, my fingers caressing your skin until my hand dips below your shorts and presses to the cotton of your undergarment.
Your breath hitches when you feel my fingers against your clothed clit, brushing so gently, it's like a phantom touch. Still, you do not wake.
Spreading your legs for me, I cup your perfect little pussy in my palm and sigh. Just as I thought you'd be, warm and wet and waiting for me. I tease, stroking gently with my fingers to bring your arousal further. You squirm against my touch, but still you do not wake. You know I am here, you have no reason to fret.
I knew you loved me.
I lean down and kiss you, though you're so tired you do not kiss back. But that’s alright, you are all I need.
I pull away from you, standing once again and standing at the foot of the bed. I grab at the waistband of your shorts and pull them and your panties down your legs, pausing when you stir too much. When you no longer shift, I pull them off completely.
Oh, you are lovely.
My hands stroke the expanse of your smooth skin, and you sigh at my every touch. Your brows knit together, a far off focus in your dreamland. My fingers tease the seam of your sweet cunt once more, delving between your wetting folds to feel how hot you are around me.
You begin to stir again, but my hand to your stomach eases you. I do not want you to wake yet. Not yet. Soon.
Your walls clench around my finger, and I reward them with another. A tiny whimper slips through your lips. I massage my fingers in and out of you, deep and slow movements that coax more and more wetness from your cunt. My thumb presses to your clit, and your hips roll against me very slightly.
I can no longer control myself. I move onto my knees and hold your legs apart. I just want to taste you. And when my tongue meets the arousal seeping from your lips, a deep moan rumbles within me.
Such sweet honey you make all for me, only for me. I suckle around you, licking and sucking and tasting you with a growing enthusiasm. Your tiny whimpers are becoming moans, broken and needy as you keen into my touch. Your fists clench and unclench, your thighs try to close, your hips roll against my mouth. But I keep you steady, steady and still and open wide for me.
As I suck around your clit, I can feel you clenching around my tongue, which licks in and out of you and laps up your sweetness. You're so close, I can feel it, I can taste it. Your desperation for a release is a potent syrup on my tongue.
Your body shakes and your mewling moans fill the room when you come undone. You gasp, a pitchy, wonderful sound that makes me suck harder around your pulsing clit. You try to break away from me, but I only pull you closer, drunk on your taste and refusing to let up until I have had my fill.
It's a wonderful thing, watching you cum for me so deep in your sleep. I can see flashes of your dreams behind my eyes, skin against skin and warmth and passion and even brief images of me. I feel you tremble beneath me, shuddering and whimpering so sweetly.
I work you through your brief overstimulation, groaning around your pussy as your taste overcomes my senses. The intoxication is a precious salve to my hunger for you, but it does not last long. No, I will never not hunger for you.
And I soon shall never have to find myself starved of you either.
The next time you cum, your back arches off the bed and your mewls mix with your heavy gasp. When I hear the sound of your quickening heart and feel the tug of your slowly building consciousness, I pull apart from you.
Shh. Not yet. Sleep, my love. Soon you shall awake and see me giving you all that you desire.
I place my hand to hold your cheek, and your fluttering eyes steady once more as they seal shut in your returning slumber. And when all is right, I smile. Your slick allows my fingers to glide right through.
Perfect.
I move away, stripping the both of us until we're nothing but skin. The bed dips under my weight, and I pull your thighs over my legs.
Taking my cock in my hand, I hiss lightly. You've truly made a mess of me: hot and hard and leaking. I lean down to you, pressing my lips to the side of your face and dipping down into your neck.
“Don't worry, my love,” I whisper in your ear. “We shall be together.”
I line myself with you, and holding my breath, I thrust inside. Warmth blossoms along my body, and I shudder at the tight heat which welcomes me. “All of us.”
You whine as I push farther inside of you, going deeper and deeper until you've taken me all the way. A thick sigh heaves from my chest at the way you clench, and my hips stutter at the feeling. I pull back and thrust in once more, building a steady rhythm that grows with my passion and desperation for you.
You whimper and moan, squirming beneath me as you stir beneath the slumber I've placed you in. The images in your mind—our bodies, our lips, flashes and breaths—they mix like a cocktail that further my intoxication.
My thrusts are perhaps a bit too rushed for our first time together, but I cannot help it. You are better than I have ever imagined you'd be. I want to savor this, to take my time with you, to cherish each feeling and each taste and each sight…
But we shall have plenty of time for that in the future. Right now, I must ravage your body lying so pliant and willing for me.
I kiss your neck, taking the soft flesh between my teeth and sucking. You taste like flowers and honey, a precious taste I shall never tire of. I rut into you, listening to the sweet sounds of your slick along my cock, listening to your weak moans, your needy whimpers. I'm determined to make you cum with me as I rub your aching little clit with the pad of my thumb.
My need for you trumps everything else. I want nothing more than to bury myself as deeply inside of you as I possibly can and fill you with my love, a love that would take root within you and grow our dearest child. I hook my arms underneath your thighs and put you in the perfect position to receive it, chest to chest as I bury my face in the warm column of your throat.
“Oh, my love.” The words spill out of me as the pleasure grips my throat, and I thrust deeply inside of you. In the same thrust, your back arches off the bed and you actually shake in my arms as you cum around my cock, squeezing me so tight that I have no choice but to cum inside of you.
A rough groan tears through my throat and into your ear. As your tight pussy trembles around you, you gasp as the pleasure rips through you. I feel the harsh tug of sleep being taken from you, and you fully awake with me still buried so perfectly in your cunt.
You choke on my name, and the sound is so sweet that my hips stutter in a half-thrust that pulls a moan out of you. I smile, pulling back without pulling out and looking down at you. You're so beautiful like this, dazed from the pleasure, still coated in sleep with the confusion of it all.
“Dream,” you whisper again, your voice thick with sleep and something else. “Dream, what–?”
You don't have time to speak because I have already begun fucking inside of you again. I'm not quite done yet—I want to make certain that you shall carry my heir in your belly, certain that I shall claim you forever.
And I'm already so addicted to the feeling of your body. To be without it would be a crime.
With the relief of a release, I can focus now as I gaze down at you. My hips thrust in and out—a steady, quick, rough rhythm that has you moaning with loud and helpless sounds that are music to my ears. Your hands reach up, clenching my arms with an uncertain goal.
You struggle to speak, so driven by your lust for me that all you can do is form wordless words as I fuck you. You curse and swear, glassy eyes on me as I hold you close.
Suddenly, I pull out of you, and the most pathetic whine slips from your throat. I flip you onto your belly, spreading your legs and pushing your chest down as I enter you from behind. You welcome me, as I knew you would. My perfect girl.
“Hello, my darling,” I whisper through a groan after a particularly rough thrust. “Did you miss me?”
You mutter something of my name, and I smile.
“I missed you, too,” I say. I press my chest to your back, bringing my hand to wrap around your neck so gently. “But I shall never leave you again. And you shall never leave me.”
You try to say something but it doesn't matter. I pick up my pace, my strength. I hold you tightly and fuck into you with everything that I have. As my fingers circle your abused clit, you moan and gasp for breath as all the pleasure stacks on top of you, one right after the other.
“You're so good for me, my love,” I sigh. “You're always so good for me, as you sleep and as you wake.” Another whimper resounds.
I've longed for this moment for so long. This moment where you would be beneath me, moaning my name and welcoming me into your intimate warmth. Your body moves against me, seeking me out and shuddering under my touch as I give you everything you need. All the slick has built with the addition of my cum dripping out of you, coating me and the sheets below in white. The sounds we make together—the moans, the creaks, the smacks—it's a beautiful cacophony of sweet music. I could stay here forever, locked in this room with you and your body and your love, fucking you with all my passion and making love to you with all my heart.
Your hand reaches out to grab something, settling for the pillow, which you grip so hard, it looks as though you may tear into the fabric. The pictures in your mind have become so much more muddled. Now they're flashes of white, the vague movements of bodies and the vague sounds of groans. It's a mess, a beautiful mess of tangled thoughts and watered down cohesion.
Your moans shudder like cries when I pull another orgasm from your weak little body. As I fuck you through it, the pleasure becomes all the better as you go blinded by it.
“So perfect, my beautiful dear.” I pull out of you, and you sigh as I do, as if you think this is over. I turn you back onto your back.
My knuckles smooth gently down the side of your face as you stare up at me, your eyes glazed over. I kiss you, a deep, bruising kiss filled with all of my lust for you. It takes you a moment, but you kiss back. It's a wonderful feeling.
As our lips are joined, I join our bodies once more. You gasp into my mouth as my cock fills you once more. I trail my kisses along your jaw and back to your neck, painting you in love bites and taking you as mine.
My hips snap into you, my hands hold you tight, my lips lave along your skin. Oh, how I love you so. It shows in the way that I thrust, in the way that I sigh, in the way that I kiss, in the way that I hold you close to me. I can't let go.
A couple of stray tears slip down your cheeks, and I kiss them away. Poor thing, so full of pleasure that you're crying for it.
Without giving you much time to recover, my thumb is at your clit again. I've become utterly intoxicated with the sight of your undoing: the way you tremble and shake, the way you gasp and sigh. I love you.
And for a while, we stay like this, rocking and grinding and moaning into one another. The sight of our faces are drenched in utter bliss, and I bask in the moment. I can feel the beginnings of a second release prickling within me, and my steady thrusts begin to falter.
“I want to hear you say it.”
Your dazed eyes look up at me, your question interrupted by a moan. “Say–ah! Say what?”
“Tell me that you love me. As I love you.” I press my forehead against yours, rutting into you with all my strength as I begin to lose control. “Tell me, my darling. Tell me.”
“I…” You clench your jaw, arching your back as you struggle to speak through your pleasure. “Fuck, Dream.”
Your mouth is agape, and your eyes are closed so sweetly. But I need to hear you say it. I need it. “Say it.” My grip on your hip tightens, my thumb on your clit becomes more ruthless.
Lost in euphoria, you gasp and nearly choke on the words you give to me. “I love you.” You huff out a heavy breath, holding me tighter as your lips search for my skin. Their sloppy contact slides against me, wanting nothing more than to feel my skin against you. “I love you, Dream. Fuck, don’t stop, I love you.”
I sigh at the pleasure it gives me to hear those words on your delicate lips. “Again. Say it again.”
“I love you.” A whimpering sound mixes with a groan. “I love you, Dream.”
My fuse is running out, and with the way you tighten around me, I don’t stand a chance as my rough thrusts bring the both of us even closer to our highs. I can taste it on my tongue. The taste of your honeyed flower skin and your sweet arousal is my own personal wine.
My voice is barely a whisper in my haste. “Say it.”
“I love you, Morpheus.”
The dam breaks as I spill inside of you, shoving my cock as deep as I could possibly reach. Your gasp joins mine, and our sounds mingle with heaving breaths, your pitchy moans mixing with my deepened ones. You hold me as close as I hold you, and our lips slot together in the white noise of our ecstasy.
My hips continue their endless pursuit within you, desperate rolls thrusting within you just to make certain we’ve created our heir. For a while, I lay there on top of you, sparing you my weight but offering my warmth as I stay comfortably sheathed within you. Our gasping breaths have settled to gentle sighs, and you lay limply beneath me as you stare up at the ceiling. Contemplating.
When the time has unfortunately come to remove myself from you, I do as I adjust some hair from your face and kiss your forehead.
There was a fog in the room that I had not noticed before—not a physical one, of course. It’s beginning to clear in the aftermath of our combined pleasure. Your eyes slowly find mine, glazed still but the clearest they have been all night. Now that the blinding bliss has settled and you’ve fully awakened, there’s a clarity you’ve suddenly gained. You take in the sight of my face and I smile down at you, brushing my thumb over your cheek.
“Dream,” you mutter gently, to which I hum. “What have you done?”
My smile grows. I place a kiss to your lips, one that you seem to have trouble returning. Hooking my finger under your chin, I ensure you see me as I speak softly, a gentle hum that I know you shall hear.
“No one shall steal you from me now. Not even Death, no one. You are mine and only mine.”
Your eyes are glossy now, unshed tears gracing them that I hope to wipe away. “Dream,” you whisper, holding onto me with a tight grasp that I embrace. You look like you’ll say something, something dire and important. Instead, you close your mouth and smile, the kind of smile that must be pushed for.
“I love you,” you whisper. There’s an undertone to it that I dismiss. You’re tired, that’s all. I know you love me, and that’s all that matters.
I smile, kissing you again with all the love in my heart. My hand on your waist tightens, and I must remember that you are human. Pulling away from your lips, I brush my finger over your bottom one.
“I love you, too, my darling wife.”
Nothing can take that from us now.
Tumblr media
The Sandman taglist: @poetic-fiasco @the-nerdy-goddess @life-on-needs @fanreader @jamiethenerdymonster @sarahbullet235 @majestyjade @melinoe-the-rat @katsukis1wife @sugakookieswithacupoftae16 @hatterripper31 @kplatzman @kmc1989 @thegen3sisark Dreamers taglist: @meg-the-second-greatest @killerqueen-ofwillowgreen @gortycs @octo-octopie @damianodavidhands @alexxavicry @rosaren2498 @sayumiht @jaritzaflores94 @evabalexeeva @cl-0-vr Tag yourself here...
Tumblr media
82 notes · View notes
starry-eyes-love · 1 day
Text
Calm Me Down
Tumblr media
Main Masterlist Joel Miller Masterlist
The next chapter in the Marriage Dynamics series
Pairing | Husband Joel Miller x Wife F!Reader- AU, No Outbreak
Summary | You wake up having a panic attack, and Joel calms you down. This results in the two of you talking, calming each other’s fears, and finally working through your problems. You feel movement in your pregnancy for the first time while Joel silently talks to his unborn child, asking for a gift that he doesn’t know yet but will receive.
Work Count: 5.5K
Warnings | Series is 18+, Minor DNI
Age difference (implied), language, descriptions of anxiety/panic attack, flashbacks, marriage dynamics (these two finally communicate), hurt and comfort, tenderness and love, mentions of pregnancy, you feel baby movement for the first time, mild reference to past cheating (your father and Joel's ex-wife, not from Joel or you), mild references in the past to physical abuse by your father, references to berating your father did to you in the past.
A/N: Sorry for taking so long on this next part, but here you are. As a reminder, I no longer do tag lists. Make sure to turn on notifications for when I post new written pieces.
“Baby, look at me,” Joel said sternly, turning you around to face him. He immediately searched your eyes to get you to look at him. Joel reached out instinctively and placed a steady hand on your belly, slowly rubbing it and feeling the soft swell of your stomach that was holding and caring for his child. He was trying to help ground you and reassure you that you were okay and that your baby would be alright, too.
Tumblr media
These moments come out of nowhere: the sheer panic, the sweaty palms, the narrowing vision. You don't know why, but suddenly, it feels like the whole world is crashing down around you, like you are falling fast off of a cliff, unable to save yourself from sudden death. Your heart races, and you're stuck believing the lies in your head. The lies that you know are not true.
“I'm not good enough. I can't do this. I'll never be more than what I am now: a failure. My husband doesn't love me.”
This feeling inside seizes you, holds you tight, and doesn't allow you to take a proper breath. And that's ok, you think. You don't need to breathe, not yet. But the feeling doesn't stop, and your body eventually screams for another breath. The thing is, though, you can't get any air in, so you panic once again. The cycle never ends. It keeps repeating until you're drowning in your sweat and anxiety. You're having a goddamn panic attack, one that you haven't had in many years. To say you're embarrassed doesn't even come close to describing your emotions. The word you require fails to come to you, so you settle for fear, embarrassment, and loneliness.
You've been way too stressed your entire pregnancy. You're a week shy of being 20 weeks along with your third baby and your fourth pregnancy.
Yeah, we won't talk about that pregnancy. The daughter that you lost at 22 weeks pregnant. To this day, you still don't like thinking about it.
Even though this is a different pregnancy, things seem to haven't gone how you wanted. You finally did tell Joel that you were pregnant at your doctor's appointment when you started spotting blood. You were scared of admitting pregnancy to him, especially when you two had barely talked since Halloween. You didn't know why; you just weren't getting along. It's funny how life does that sometimes, isn't it?
Even though your 20th-week ultrasound was just a few days away, you felt embarrassed that nothing seemed to go as planned this time. You hadn't told Joel you were pregnant technically until you were having bleeding problems. You weren't sexually active with your husband. There was no celebration of being pregnant, just awkward silence, mostly of which came from you. Joel attempted to speak with you, but you'd always clam up and not talk. If you were being honest, it wasn't until late at night on Christmas Eve that Joel and you started to talk and get along again. 
Now, you lay awake in bed, your mind racing, running wild with panic at all the scenarios that weren't even happening. But it felt like they were happening now, and you were scared. You were drowning in panic, unable to slow your mind down, wishing for anything to stop it. 
I'm not good enough. My husband doesn’t want this and doesn't want to be with me. I'm such a horrible wife for not telling him.
Your thoughts wouldn't stop. Your mind kept racing, and you felt like you were drowning. The walls were once again closing in around you, sucking you underneath the surface. You desperately needed a lifeline to grab onto, something to save you from yourself. That's when you felt your husband reach out to you and pull you tight against his chest. He wrapped his arms around you, securing you to him while gently whispering, “Baby, come on now, breathe.”
Tumblr media
Earlier in the night, Joel had decided not to sleep with his shirt on, something he hadn’t done in a long time. After his shower, he noticed the way you were looking at him. Eyes wide, lips slightly parted, you looked at him like you desperately needed something primal from him.
“What's that look for, baby?” He said, glancing over at you and raising just his eyebrow. He was taunting you, wanting you to voice all those dirty little things that he knew you were thinking. He could tell by the look on your face, the way you were breathing, and how you were slowly squeezing your thighs together that you were turned on and sexually aroused. Joel may not be able to give you penetrative sex yet, but dammit, he could eat his wife's pussy if she wanted it. And Joel secretly hoped that you wished to do that tonight.
“I-uh, I-'' you said, stuttering and stammering at the words. You couldn't voice it or say it out loud for some reason. You were never afraid of dirty talk in the bedroom. But considering it has been almost 20 weeks, nearly five months since the two of you have done anything sexual, you were a bit nervous. 
“Why don't you finish getting ready for bed, baby, then come over here, and I'll get ya all nice and relaxed for bed.”
“What did you have in mind?” You asked, hoping Joel would voice it for you.
“Oh, darlin’, you know what I have in mind,” he said, slowly sticking his tongue out and moving it up and down like he does when he licks at you fast when he goes down on you.
You quickly nodded your head and then ran into the bathroom. You needed a shower and desperately needed a shave. You spent the next 20 minutes making yourself feel more sexy and presentable. But when you entered the bedroom, you noticed all your work was in vain. Joel was lying down and loudly snoring already. Immediately, your heart sank at seeing him fast asleep.
Joel intended to give you, his wife, some much-needed affection and attention. But he underestimated how tired he was. When his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light and asleep within seconds. You, however, had laid there with your eyes open, overthinking stuff once again.
You loved being pregnant, but you hated the first part of pregnancy, where the anxiety was horrible. Your doctor said because your hormones change so much in the first stages of pregnancy, anxiety is common among women. And boy, did you ever have anxiety, especially this time around with being pregnant in your late 30s. 
Even though your hormones were already leveling out, you were still nervous about knowing if your baby was growing healthy inside of you. You knew that after your 20-week ultrasound appointment, you would calm down. But you just had to get there first. You were nervous about losing this pregnancy. You remember the pregnancy you had lost; that 20th-week ultrasound showed significant problems. If everything would show that you were ok, just like the two other pregnancies did with your boys, you knew you'd calm down. You kept telling yourself that everything would be ok. But that crippling anxiety kept sneaking up at you at the worst times and holding you tight, like tonight.
The longer the night continued, the more you wanted to reach out and have your husband hold you tight to help calm your fears. But he looked so peaceful lying there sleeping; you didn't want to wake him. You both were getting along again, and there was no more fighting between you. So you didn't know where this anxiousness was coming from tonight. Your body felt off, and you didn't know why.  You had tried to fall asleep, struggling with your mind to get any rest. At one point, you had dozed off a little bit, but you quickly woke up in a panic, sweating profusely. You were smack dab in the middle of yet another bad panic attack. You haven't had one of these episodes of panic for many years. Usually, stress or something larger would trigger them, but nothing unusual has happened recently. So you lay there silently, trying to will all of these bad feelings that you were having away. But no matter what you did, you could still feel your heart race and your chest constrict. It felt like you couldn't fully take a deep breath.  You were drowning fast in terror and panic, not knowing if you could get yourself out of it anymore. You didn't realize in your panicked state that your husband woke up. But then, all of a sudden, when your chest constricted the tightest, and you thought you were going to die from lack of oxygen, you felt Joel’s strong arms wrap around you. He gently pulled you to him, where your back met his chest. He let out a long exhale while slowly whispering, “Baby, come on, breathe.
Tumblr media
After Joel had laid down, he had fallen asleep suddenly, too suddenly for his liking. He wanted to cuddle you and give you much-needed attention and affection. Joel could see that you were stressed with work and raising the boys, and Joel's chaotic work schedule didn't help you. He recently hired a manager to work out in the field with Tommy so he could stay back in the office more and focus on the business side of things.  His contracting business was expanding, growing at a rapid rate where Joel didn’t need to be out in the field all the time working. He could take that much-needed break and focus his time and skills on the best ways of growing his company. 
Joel suddenly was jolted awake by something, but he was unsure of what.  When he opened his eyes, Joel saw your back as you were facing away from him. Joel thought maybe it was a bad dream that had woken him up.  Slowly, he ran his hand down his face, slightly shaking it and yawning to clear his head.  Upon looking over at you again, Joel saw that you were curled up into a ball, looking like you were resting peacefully.  He smiled silently, admiring you and what looked like your peaceful slumber. But then he heard it, the small sob that left your chest as you struggled to breathe in air.  Joel frowned, knowing all too well that you were panicking and having a bad panic attack yet again.
Baby, I thought we stopped these, he thought, not enjoying seeing his wife struggle.  He knew you were drowning in your head, unable to get your head above water as gulp after gulp of quick spurts of air were leaving your lungs.  You were like a lost ship out to sea, desperately looking for a way back into port.  Joel knew he was your only lifeline, and it broke his heart that he needed to be this again.  He loved you and always supported you, but seeing you panic like this broke his heart.  Something was bothering you, and he hoped, like hell, that someone wasn’t him.
“Baby, come on, breathe.” He said, slowly reaching out to you and pulling you into his chest.
But you couldn't; your heart was hammering in your chest, and it wouldn't slow down. “I can't breathe,” you said, hyperventilating and sobbing. You didn't know what was wrong or why, but it felt like you couldn't breathe. “Something’s wrong, Joel, I can’t- I can’t breathe.” You said, rushing air in and out of your lungs fast. 
“Baby, look at me,” Joel said sternly, turning you around to face him. He immediately searched your eyes to get you to look at him. Joel reached out instinctively and placed a steady hand on your belly, slowly rubbing it and feeling the soft swell of your stomach that was holding and caring for his child. He was trying to help ground you and reassure you that you were okay and that your baby would be alright, too.
As soon as your eyes met his, you started sobbing and saying, “I can't do this. I'm a failure. I'm always fucking up. No one cares about m-me or loves me.”
“No, babe. Come on now, look at me,” Joel said, cupping your cheeks and forcing you to open your eyes to look at him.  “Come on, with me, yeah? Breathe.”  Joel then took a slow, deep breath, and you mirrored his actions.
“That’s it, sugar, nice and slow,” he said, breathing with you. He was trying to slow your breathing down. After readjusting himself, Joel sat beside you, gently taking your hand and placing it on his chest, holding it tight against him. 
“Feel how I breathe, darlin', now match it. Come on now, slow breath in.” 
*Joel took a slow breath in.*
 “Now, slowly breathe out.” 
*Joel slowly breathed out.*
“And again,” he said, getting you to focus on slowing your breathing down. One of his hands held yours against his chest so that you could feel the pattern of his breaths. The other hand was protectively lying over your bump, gently stroking the skin, centering both you and him that everything was alright with your baby.
After several moments of slowing your breathing and getting you to breathe normally again, you finally sighed and said, “Thanks, Joel.”  
Still sitting above you, Joel furrowed his brow as he looked at you. He didn’t know why you were having a panic attack tonight. It stressed him out and worried him, especially since you were pregnant. He didn’t want you to get too stressed out and put the baby you were carrying under any more stress. After a long moment of observing you, Joel finally sighed and asked, “Why d’ya think you’re a failure?” As he waited for your response, he slowly started stroking your belly once again.
“I don’t know, I- I was upset and spouted my mouth off. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Don’t give me that shit of ‘didn’t mean anything by it.’ Christ woman.” Joel said, pinching the bridge of his nose with his hand while removing his other hand from your belly.  
You frowned slightly at his movements, knowing that now he was agitated. You didn't want to have any more arguments with him. You two have been finally getting along for a while, and you weren't in the mood to go back to the way things were, where you hardly spoke, and if you did, it would result in an argument. To you, those days were behind you. 
When Joel felt you stiffen below him, he froze. He was frustrated at the situation tonight. Something was bothering you to the point where it made you panic, and he wanted to know why. Why did you think that you were a failure? He felt his heart ache when you continued to look up at the ceiling, not wanting to look at him for fear that it'd start another argument. 
Since when did Joel Miller become such an asshole that his wife didn't want to look at him? Since when did he become your father?
Joel took a deep breath and sighed, realizing how harsh his attitude had been these past few months. Yeah, you two haven't had sex since Halloween, almost five months ago. He reasoned with himself that the lack of sexual intercourse was because of the doctor's orders. But you two haven't done anything else either. Joel didn't blame you; he blamed himself for the change. Tommy even commented the other day to Joel that his brother had changed, but not in a good way. Yeah, Joel Miller was an asshole. But what bothered him the most was he's been an asshole to you, and you've never deserved it.
Sighing at this realization, he turned towards you and gently touched your chin. “Hey, look at me, will ya,” he said, cupping your cheek with his hand. When you finally decided to look at him, he smiled tenderly and whispered, “I love you. You know that, right, baby?”
He felt his eyes sting when you didn't answer and just stared at him. Joel Miller has been drastically fucking things up.
“I'm so fucking sorry, darlin’,” he said while gently placing his hand back again on your bump. “I’m sorry for makin’ this. For fucking everything up where I wasn’t there for you emotionally like I should have been.”
You just glared at him, struggling to keep your tears from falling. “Y-you didn't, shit,” you said, brushing a single tear away from your cheeks. I’m not doing this right now. I’m not going to break down again, you thought. 
Joel could see you were struggling not to get emotional, and he was trying so hard to find ways to fix what he had already broken. “Baby, I was so mad at what ya told me on Halloween. That I wasn't rockin’ your sexual world anymore. I got, fuck baby, I got mad and jealous.”
“Seriously? What could you have been jealous about?” You said, snapping at him with more force than you intended. You were confused and slightly irritated at your husband. Joel was the one who shut you out after Halloween, not you. He barely spoke to you, held you; hell, he still hasn't even fucked you since that night. Sure, you pulled away, too, and you didn't tell him you were pregnant. But every time you tried to open up, he'd shut you down, yell at you, or treat you like you weren't his wife. You sat in silence, not knowing how to respond to your husband. Joel wasn't moving or answering you either, and for a minute, you thought that maybe he'd fallen asleep. But then you heard it, a sniffle, followed by a choked-off sob.
“Joel-” you said softer, looking over at him as you noticed tears streaming down his face. He placed a hand over his eyes, sobbing into it. You didn't understand what was happening or why he was giving you this emotional response.
“I'm s-sorry. I'm so fucking sorry that you d-don't want to be w-with me anymore.” Joel said, continuing to sob into his hand.
Where the hell was this all coming from? You thought. “Baby, what are you talking about? Of course I-”
“Don’t,” Joel said sternly, quickly brushing his tears away. Joel hated crying by himself, and he hated crying in front of you. After taking a moment to collect himself, he leaned down and whispered to your belly, “I'm so sorry that Daddy has fucked this up. I-I love both you and your mama so fucking much, ok?” He gently kissed your belly and wiped the remaining tears from his eyes away. When he sat up, he looked around the room, admiring the home you two had built together, with the front of him facing away from you.
Joel wouldn't look at you, even when you asked him. You were scared, scared of what was coming next. You knew this scene, knew it well from your father. It would be the moment that Joel would tell you he’s been sleeping with someone else.  He’d tell you that you were too much for him and that he couldn’t help it, that it was an accident. You also waited for the words ‘you ruined my life’ to come to his lips, just like your father told you before. But the longer you waited, the longer it was apparent that those words would never come. That’s when you felt your heart begin to race again.
“I can practically hear those gears turning in your head, love. Stop overthinking things. I just wanted to say that you deserve better; you both do. And I know I'm not your favorite human right now and that you’re ashamed to carry my child-”
“Joel Miller, what are you even talking about? I'm not ashamed of-”
Joel stopped you by raising a hand, silencing you, saying, “Please, just let me finish.” He then continued when he knew you wouldn't interrupt him again. “I've, I'm- shit- I'm not good with this stuff, with words. I just- fuck.” 
Joel didn't know what he was trying to say. He felt sorry for Halloween and for the miscommunication you two had. He’s been moody since then and not present in his marriage. He was also very sorry for not making you feel comfortable enough to tell him things again, like when you were first pregnant. But most of all, he was sorry for disappointing you as a man and husband.
When Joel realized the last admission in his mind, he felt tears well up again. You had opened your mouth to speak again, but Joel interrupted you by saying, “Ya know, I think my ex-wife was right all those years ago.”
“How so?” you said, tensing at the mention of her.
“She said I always fucked things up, and that's why she was- uh- why it didn't work out between us.” Joel almost said it. The thing he hadn’t told you. That his first wife was unfaithful because he wasn't present in their marriage and didn't give her enough support after Sarah was born.
“Joel,” you said while slowly grabbing his hand. “Baby, I'm not her, and for the record, you ain't fucking things up.”
Joel snorted at your comment, saying, “Darlin', we both know that ain't true. You're pregnant with my child. And you didn't even want to tell me because of it, because of me.”
“Joel, I didn't tell you because I was scared. I'm a woman in my middle thirties who told her husband life was stale in the bedroom. On that same night, he also knocked me up. I wanted to tell you immediately, but as soon as I attempted, you weren't there. You were working 16-hour days and moody because of no help at work. Yeah, I fucked up. I should have said something, but I was scared. I was scared I was trapping you in a marriage you didn't want.”
“What do you mean a marriage I didn't want? Baby, I love you and want you, always. I've never felt trapped, not ever. Why are you thinkin’ that?” Joel said, screwing his face up and not understanding why you thought he didn't want to be married.
“I don't know, just something my dad said when-”
“I ain't your old man,” Joel said, grinding his teeth and flaring his nostrils. At one time, your father, Pat, was Joel's best friend. But that abruptly ended when Pat laid his hands on his daughter and unforgivably hurt her.
“I know it's just- I was worried you didn't want this, want me. I know I'm a lot, a handful, that-” Your voice started to tremble, and your lip was quivering. You couldn't say it out loud. But Joel knew it was the last thing you heard your father say before you walked out of his life, forever.
Tumblr media
Flashback
“Joel, I know my daughter, ok? She's a handful, a complete pain in the ass, and a liability. One that I wish like hell wasn't my damn responsibility anymore. So do yourself a favor; don't get involved. She'll just ruin your life. She’s already ruined mine.”
You had stood there and heard your father tell Joel, your new fiance, he didn't want you as a daughter anymore. That you being around was a burden to him and his life. You were standing in the kitchen as Pat, your father, talked to Joel in the living room. You weren't supposed to hear the conversation, and you knew that. But with what you heard, it had shattered you. You walked out of your father's house with tears in your eyes, never returning. It was good that you walked out before you heard your father's last comment. The one comment that yet today made Joel grind his teeth and see red anytime he thought about it.
“Joel, that girl of mine is nothin’ but a goddamn whore. A bitch, just like her mother. She'll just hurt you in the end. My advice, make sure you have a little something on the side, a nice piece of ass as I did, just as a pick me up. Trust me, you'll get sick of looking at her pathetic ass day in and day out. I did with her mother, and it felt great to go and get some much-needed attention from the girls I had on the side…”
After your father called you a whore and told Joel what took place when Joel had you hang out at his house, he felt sick and saw red with anger. Your dad's weekend trips and late-night house calls were due to him fucking around on your mom, a woman who was battling cancer and eventually lost. But the worst thing that Joel found out was that all those black eyes you were supporting in high school and college weren't because you got into a fight or that a boyfriend hit you. No, Pat was getting drunk and using his fists against his daughter's face. Joel also had a sneaky suspicion that the two cracked ribs you had in college also came from Pat.  Joel couldn't believe that his best friend did that, and worse, you never said anything. Joel would have stopped it immediately if he had known. Pat was no longer in either of your lives anymore.
Tumblr media
Present Day
“Baby, you ain't too much, so stop thinking that. C’mere.” Joel said, having you come and sit on his lap while he placed his back against the headboard.
He helped you straddle him, putting your hard baby belly against his softer belly. Your bump prevented you from getting as close as usual, but it was close enough that Joel could still wrap his arms around you and rest his forehead against yours.  
“Now, darlin’, I want you to take a deep breath for me, ok?”  After you took a deep breath and slowly let it out, you felt your heartbeat return to normal, along with his.  
“I’m so sorry, Joel, that I didn’t tell you-”
“Don’t. Please darlin’. I-I don’t care what we’ve done before. I care about the right here and now. Please.”
You could feel how stressed Joel was. How his muscles tensed with you, referencing you were sorry again for not telling your husband at the beginning of your pregnancy that you were pregnant.  If you could do it again, but differently, you would.  But that’s not life.  Life is about living in the moment, feeling emotions, and allowing yourself to experience it in its messy glory.  It’s about making mistakes and then learning from those mistakes.  But most of all, it’s about forgiveness, hope, compassion, love, and understanding.  You both understood that the choices made these past few months were out of anger, frustration, and loneliness.
With your eyes closed and your understanding of the situations that have surrounded the two of you for a while, you quietly said, “I love you, old man.”
Joel let out a small snort at your teasing. ‘Old man’ was a nickname you gave him long ago when the two of you started dating, and now it was a term of endearment. 
“I love you too, baby girl,” he said, slowly nuzzling his nose against yours.  
When you pulled back and opened your eyes, you saw your husband looking at you lovingly.  His eyes were so soft, tenderness seen behind them. He was your lifeline that tethered you to this world, keeping you anchored and not drifting.  When he slowly kissed you, you felt him tell you in the kiss that you were loved and that everything would be alright.  He was your rock, your protector, your soulmate. But more importantly, he was your Joel. The man who saw you for what you were inside. He saw past your faults and insecurities, of you believing you were too much. He gave you a safe place to land and be in the moment.  You had a lifetime with him, helped him raise Sarah, and gave birth to two strong-willed little boys you loved dearly. And now you were pregnant again, with a baby that was half him and half you growing inside of you. This little one was very much a surprise, but the best possible surprise.  It forced you both to stop your chaotic lives and slow down to remember what life was all about Love.
After several tender kisses, you started to giggle against his mouth.  Joel pulled back at your giggling, confused at your antics. “Darlin’, are you laughing at me?”
You continued giggling and said, “No, Joel, I’m not,” but then you giggled again.
“Baby, please-”
“Joel, I just felt the baby move.”
Joel’s eyebrows shot up, surprised, looking at you with excitement. “R-really? Just now?”
“Yes, just now, when I was thinking how much I loved you and how much this child is teaching us that we need to communicate still, to be strong, and-”
Joel slowly moved his hands down to your stomach and rubbed it tenderly.  He knew he wouldn’t feel movement for another few weeks.  But seeing you feel life for the first time was the best possible gift one could experience with you.  The joy on your face at the realization that a baby was growing inside you, one that he helped create.
“There it is again,” you said, smiling and giggling. You placed your hand right over Joel’s hand, right where you felt movement.  It felt like a cricket, or something ran across your stomach, but from the inside.  It was always the oddest feeling that you’d feel. It wasn’t a full kick yet; those would come in a few weeks.  But in this movement, it always made you laugh when you’d feel it for the first time.
When you looked up at Joel, you were beaming with the biggest smile, while he had the most tender look in his eyes. Softly, he rubbed his thumb back and forth over your skin, giving you and his baby affection. “She's telling her mama that she loves her.”
“Joel, it’s too early. We don’t-” you said, choking up with emotion.  Joel knew you wanted a girl so badly, especially after the two of you lost the only pregnancy before where you were pregnant with a girl. It was a sore subject for the two of you. 
Before, when you were pregnant with a girl, Joel had come home early from work because you said you weren’t feeling well.  He noticed you were sleeping on the couch when he entered the house. Joel quietly went upstairs and showered, but you yelled for him while he was washing his body. Joel quickly rinsed himself off and ran out to the living room, wearing nothing but a towel with water still dripping down his back. When he got to you, you were sitting up and crying.  When he had asked you what was wrong, you pulled back the blanket, and Joel saw a large pool of bright red blood on the couch. You were rushed to the hospital by ambulance, but it was already too late.  The girl you were pregnant with had no heartbeat detected. You stayed in the hospital for observation, delivering the tiny baby that night. 
After you were asleep in the hospital, Joel had gone home. He took the sledgehammer to the couch, tears streaming down his face while hitting it. Tommy found him beating the hell out of the sofa, crying and screaming at how much he hated the world for taking the one thing that you wanted away from you: a little girl.
And now, all these years later, when you hear Joel reference a girl, you can’t help but get scared. Sure, you hoped for a girl and dreamed of it again, but you also didn't want to go through losing another baby once again.   
“It’s just a hunch, darlin’, and don’t worry, mama; I’ll keep you both safe.  Now come on, time for you both to go to bed.” Joel said, wrapping you in his arms to help silence your fears.
Joel laid you down and got you situated after he brought you some water to drink.  He pulled you tight to him, your back against his bare chest as he traced small circles on your belly, helping you quickly fall asleep.  After Joel knew you were sleeping soundly, he quietly whispered, “Little one, please stay in here no matter what, ok? I don’t know if you’re a girl or a boy, but I think you may be a girl this time.  Regardless, your mama needs you to be healthy, and Daddy needs you to be healthy. You’ve heard bad words these past few months when your mama and I have been arguing. But please know, I’m beyond excited to be a dad yet again, your dad. I love you both so much, ok. Stay in there, and let your mama have a nice, easy pregnancy, ok? I love you.”
Joel stilled his hand on your bump, gently holding it snug while he drifted off to sleep. Neither of you knew that deep inside your belly, a tiny baby girl was growing nice and strong. Even though this pregnancy was difficult at times, that baby had no plans of leaving anytime soon. She would be the miracle and the one thing that helped you focus on fixing your marriage once and for all. 
They say that life throws the most challenging curveballs when you least expect them and that sometimes those challenging events shape you into a better human being. That’s always been the story for you and Joel, and now, you both are about to enter the exciting part of your pregnancy—the one that will reshape your current Marriage Dynamics.
End of Chapter
Tumblr media
100 notes · View notes
glorismorningstar · 3 days
Text
PARENTING
Pairing: Vox x fem!angel!reader
Summary: Now that little Pixel is born, you and Vox raise her thanks to a deal with Heaven and lots of chaos.
A/N: this is part two of PREGNANT, thank you sm for the request anon! Idk if it's the same one that asked for the first part but if it is I hope you like it <3
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.
VOX tends to get home late, so you usually spend the day with Pixel until he comes back
At the end of his work day, he greets his daughter like she's the most precious thing in the world
Because she is
And because she came out of the second most precious thing in the world
You see him with Pixel in his lap, her little screen staring at his bigger one and babbling something unintelligible
It almost makes you cry tears of joy
Vox normally struggles to be soft around others
Well, not exactly struggles as chooses not to, because he has a reputation to maintain
But when it comes to his family he'll do anything and everything to protect them
You notice that he seems much more himself around you and Pixel
Not that you're complaining, of course
You love this vulnerable side of him more than the eccentric, manipulative businessman he purports to be
Although if you mention it to him, he'd likely deny it
Still hellbent on keeping you away from Valentino
As a friend he's great, sure, but his filthy habits near his newborn daughter and the mother of the aforementioned daughter do not sit right with him
You're wary of keeping Velvette on babysitting duty, although Vox convinces you to try it once
Not the worst babysitting shift in the history of the world, which surprised you greatly
After you gave birth, Vox moved you and Pixel to another house to separate his family from his work life
He deems it to be safer
And he would be completely correct
That's why when Alastor returns, he flips out
He's afraid of losing you and his little Pixie to that smiling freak
And if he loses everything he's worked for, how will he support his family?
Honestly, you have no qualms about his borderline homoerotic obsession with Alastor
Of all the flaws he has, that might not be number one
And he could do much worse, in your opinion
As long as he doesn't act on it, you're completely fine with it
It's true that you're an angel and he's a demon, a seraphim and an overlord no less
It makes you wonder why Sera would agree to let you keep the child and spend your maternity leave wherever you wish
Pixel is technically a hellborn, but she's the child of a blessed and a damned soul
You don't know how that would work
When she comes of age, she'll have her court case to decide her fate, since as a newborn child she's still of indeterminate morality
As hard as it would be, Vox would want her to live a blessed life
Therefore he lets you raise her to be a good person
You teach the little girl kindness, empathy, generosity and care
The sight is bittersweet for Vox
On the one hand, he's proud of seeing his own blood be a better person than he is
On the other hand, he'd miss Pixie being home at the end of every day and clinging to his leg like a vice
"My sweet girl. Thank God you're just a baby. Dad doesn't want to give you away, but he knows it's the right choice."
You hear him talk to her like that one night, and tears spill from your eyes as you overhear the conversation
It breaks your heart to see him suffer like this
To give up his own child in this way, you know full well that you wouldn't be able to if the roles were reversed
"Da-da..."
You freeze in place when a little babbling voice reaches your ears, while Vox grins so hard and his eyes glisten with tears for a brief moment
"That's right, sweetie... dad's here. Dad's here."
You sniffle softly and walk over to sit beside him, resting your head on his shoulder and stroking the top of Pixie's screen
"I can't believe it. Time flew by so fast."
"I know... suddenly I'm seeing her go off to school."
You giggle at that, kissing Vox on the cheek and running your thumb over the edge of his screen with a little sniffle
"Are you sure you're okay with me taking her to Heaven?"
Vox sighs, expression dropping from the joy of the moment as he pauses to word his reply properly
"Yeah. It's not easy, but it's what she deserves. It's the life I want her to have."
You wrap your arms around his neck when he says so, affectionately caressing the back of his screen
"I'm really sorry. I know I'd be flipping out if I were in your place."
"Oh, believe me, I am. I'm just doing a stunningly good job at covering it up."
You chuckle softly, nuzzling your nose on his screen
He laughs along with you and plants a sweet kiss on your lips, then holds both you and Pixie close to his chest
Soon Pixel grows into a pre-teen
She has already sprouted her wings and goes to school
Vox suggests that you let her go on her own, as she can fly and he has cameras everywhere
And he'd definitely maul to death anyone who tries to mess with his daughter
But you're still extremely on edge, insisting that even if he could know when she's in danger, there's no way either of you would get there in time to save her
So you drop her off and pick her up by flight every day
She doesn't like it very much, but somehow understands it's for her own good
It isn't until she's 14 that she finds out about the Radio Demon
She first overhears it while passing by Valentino's tower when she drops by the Headquarters one day and decides to ask Vox about it
"Dad?"
"Yes, dear?"
"Who's Alastor?"
Vox is visibly aggravated
Electricity zaps across his antennae and racks his entire body as he struggles not to dig his clawed fingers in the table
"Ha, ha... where did you learn that name, Pixie?"
Pixel worries for his reaction, flinching back as she stutters out a soft, "I- I- I-"
"Lady Archangel Pixel of Pride and Kindness, tell me who told you about that freak right now!"
"I- I heard Uncle Val saying that name, and- and that he hears he's back...!"
Vox is seconds away from electrocuting the entire Pentagram
So today he's going to deal with explaining to his teenage daughter about some psychopath he used to know and is learning that he's back from his child
"Oh, no, because God forbid Valentino shut his mouth for once in his fucking life!"
He slams his fist on the table and buries his screen in his hands, resting his elbows on the table and attempting to take a few deep breaths
"Dad...?"
He looks up and sees his daughter's big eyes staring at him with concern
He must have scared her with his outburst
Vox frowns and gathers her in his arms, sighing as he plants a kiss on the top of her screen
"I'm sorry, Pixie, I'm sorry. Alastor used to be my partner."
Pixel looks to the side and back at him, blinking multiple times
This conversation just took quite the turn
"I'll probably regret this, but... partner as in...?"
"Business partner! Jesus Christ, Pixel!"
The young girl sighs in relief
Honestly, he couldn't blame her for jumping to that conclusion
Vox tells her about his partnership with Alastor, everything about what he's really like and what he could do to hurt them now
He knows she's mature enough to understand
"What I want you to do now is call your mother and ask her to come pick you up. Now."
"But-"
"Now, Pixel."
Pixel hesitates, eyes flickering around with worry as she finally stared up at Vox
"Do you trust me?"
"...yes. Yes, I trust you."
"Then do as I say. Please."
She can tell something's off, her father has never acted this way before
The girl throws her arms around him, burying her face in his chest
Vox wipes the tears from her eyes and gives her a reassuring smile, holding her screen in his hands
"I love you, okay?"
"I love you, too, dad..."
He presses another kiss to her forehead and squeezes her tight
He's so terrified of letting her go, but he knows that he has to, for her own good
"Go over to aunt Velvette's and ask her to call your mother. Tell her to meet me here as soon as she can and we'll come get you."
Pixel is extremely apprehensive, but obliges either way
As she trots off to Velvette's tower, Vox gets footage of the Hazbin Hotel from Valentino
Meanwhile, you receive Velvette's call and fly over to the Headquarters as fast as possible
Vox clings to you and squeezes you tight, cupping your cheeks in his hands and looking into your eyes
"Ask for an advance on the court date."
You swear you feel your soul leave your body when he says those words
You've been dreading this for so many years
"Vox, this- this can't be the only solution."
"She's in limbo, Y/N, and right now the good in her has the edge. Request sanctuary and ask Sera to move the date. Please."
With a heavy heart, you agree
He's right, if Alastor really is back, you need to get Pixel to safety
You hug Vox close, tucking your face in the crook of his neck and letting out a sob
You don't know if you're going to see him ever again, and that terrifies both of you to your very cores
"Don't cry, my love, don't cry."
"I love you, Vox."
"I know. I love you, too."
You share a last passionate kiss before departing, tears brimming both yours and his eyes as Velvette accompanies Pixel to say her goodbyes
Vox's farewell to his child is heartbreaking
He reassures her that he loves her and it's for her own good, even if he knows that deep down she'd never forgive him
You give Vox a last kiss before opening the portal to Heaven, letting the dimensions swallow up both of you, never to see Hell for years on end
67 notes · View notes
kit-williams · 1 day
Text
Legion Mother: Lost in the Warp
Who want's some Angst?
@bispecsual @egrets-not-regrets @moodymisty @bleedingichorhearts @liar-anubiass-blog
@thevoidscreams @barn-anon
as always thank you to @squishyowl for the dividers
Tumblr media
The Mother of the Fourth Legion was in despair. Penelope was wailing as Robute Guilliman, her brother in law, had told her that her husband... Perturabo was dead. She knew he wouldn't lie to her... she was wailing as her attendants had to guide her back to her room.
Her adopted sons were not surprised at how she broke down at the news... they knew their mother loved their father... father had risen her from serfdom to his wife to Perturabo it only made sense given how utterly genuine she was with him. And the Captain watched as she had trembled, swayed on her feet, falling to the floor and weeping. But the Captain now snarled at the Primarch of the Thirteenth when he retracted what he said... but he realized quickly... the Iron Mother wouldn't have been able to handle the truth.
"What do I tell Ajax?" She managed to blither out between her sobs.
"None of that now my lady. You have to lead the legion now." The head attendant said holding her tightly like a mother would, "But first you must mourn." She said softly... as to them... Perturabo was suppose to outlive her... she was content with that... she was suppose to be the first of probably a long string of wives... Penelope was okay with that... she had told him that all she wanted to do was to bring him happiness.
"My Bo... my Bo..." Penelope whimpered as her makeup was running from the heavy tears rolling down her cheeks. The shock of it all running through her... perhaps later she would apologize to her sons at her reaction...
Nelly laid in her bed feeling the migraine build behind her eyes as she couldn't stop herself from bursting into tears. "Get... get me my box..." She says sitting up off to try one last hope. Her Bo was a smart man... an emergency communicator... she picked up the delicately made iron sea shell. She prayed... to what? She just prayed that he wasn't dead... "Bo..."
Demon World of Medrengard
A hateful fortress world of cruelty and industry... black spires licked the white sky and black sun but they ran so deeply into the molten core of the planet. The Demon Primarch's hatred could be felt upon the wind... his hate was enough for thousands of lifetimes. Yet there was some hatred for himself at what he had become... he was stronger than this and in a moment of weakness... a very human moment he did not want to die. His sons did not wish to lose their father and so he was now a blight upon this reality.
"Bo..." A voice sniffled... one he had not heard in a long long time. It made him inhale for the first time in millennia. The hateful winds stopped in their tracks leading to a quiet on the planet for the first time since it's rebirth as a demon world. He pulled away from his workbench slowly as the Lord of Iron's eyes drifted over to some forgotten rotting corner. "Bo please... you can't be dead." The voice sobbed cracking in a way that he was familiar with, he approached with quiet steps. His eyes looked down at a dust covered sea shell made of iron... rusted except for the pearl.
"Perturabo!" She wailed with palatable grief as it had to be true. Her husband was gone... Olympia was gone... everything she held dear was gone... all she had left was the fraction of the legion and Ajax. She had to be like Iron... she had to be there for her sons and his sons... she had to... she had too...
"Nelly...?" A voice... no not just a voice his voice spoke over the device.
She threw herself back over to the device, "Perty!"
Perturabo looked down at the rusted shell in his hand... he had all but forgotten it was there. His tongue licked over sharpened teeth as his bitterness started to gather... this was a trick... how dare they. He internally seethed at the thought of Fulgrim or Magnus or one of the petty gods using his beloved's voice against him. Still the winds of Medrengard remained calm... and that near oppressive hate was lifted for a moment causing all his scions upon the planet to turn their gaze toward his fortress. "Bo?"
"Where are you?" His voice spoke over the line as she was holding her breath holding the hands of one of her attendants and when he spoke she let it out.
"Olympia... Bo... Bo... It's gone! Please what happened?" She begged.
Before he could answer he heard the doors open and Captain Antioch speak, as Nelly had a habit of leaving the line open, Perturabo remembers appointing him to protection of the Legion Mother... he was one of the few sons truly happy for their marriage, "Legion Mother we must go. Lord Guilliman will see us at Mcragge."
"Antioch! I've gotten in contact with Perturabo, he's alive!" She said so relieved but Perturabo could taste it... he could taste the worry... he could taste the fear. The mother knew not what the son was told.
"Penelope. I will see you soon." Was all he said before killing the line. And just like that the Lord of Iron was roused... the great iron beast rearing it's head once more... few things in the galaxy could force him into action... and if this truly was his Penelope then there would a celebration to be had... for the Iron Mother had returned which also meant his son was alive as well... but Perturabo held any excitement at bay for disappointment was a taste he knew too well. For if this was not his beloved wife... his wrath would be ten fold.
Tumblr media
Warsmith Castor was called to his father's side. His yellow eyes looking up at him as no words were exchanged after his greeting and he waited in attention. "Castor. Go to Olympia I need you to confirm something." Castor simply nodded not daining to question his father but Perturabo simply added. "I need to to confirm if your Mother is back."
"Mother?" His yellow eyes turned brown for a moment as Caster was but a battle brother when Perturabo had married Penelope and still had to prove himself verses the trusted battle brothers that were assigned to be her personal guard.
"Yes. I got a message from Penelope... go to the system and confirm if it is her. Do not engage if it is."
"And if it is not her my lord?"
"Drag them back to Medrengard in iron. If it is her ship... then..." There was an unsaid thought... we will find her bones.
Tumblr media
I know a secret... The Demonette giggled as Fulgrim opened one of his many eyes in a post orgy haze.
"What secret do you know..." He said as his eyes flashed purple as the wail of sadness rushed through him. "OH! Dearest Sister in law nelly has returned! Oh... oh... " He licked his lips with cruel intent, "We certainly must throw her a welcome back party!"
Tumblr media
I know a secret... the blue bird crooned as Magnus looked over and he listened to his brother Perturabo... and then a relieved voice of... "Penelope..." He said as his single eye widened a part of him... some deep down part knew that she was better off dead and not seeing what the world had become.
They are trying to head to Mcragge... the demonic bird crooned. "Who knows?" Magnus pressed.
Everyone
48 notes · View notes
midastouch-zaza · 13 hours
Note
Hello there! You never fail to fill our imaginations with these requests lately. I have one for you, let's lean on romance a bit. How about some celebratory sex with Momo because she found out that she's pregnant with OC's baby?
"We made it!", Momo shouted from the other part of the house. "Baby, we made it!", she repeated, running into the living room. You looked at her confused, but she just showed you the pregnancy test, while jumping around the room like an excited kid. "Oh my God, I can't believe it...", you murmured, covering your mouth, too happy to even react properly.
This time Momo jumped on you, launching herself between your arms. "It's fantastic, baby, we're gonna be parents", you finally cheered, pulling her in a passionate kiss, that made her melt, putting her arma around neck. "Thank you for my dream about having a family become true, jagi", she said against your lips, looking at you with all the love in the world.
"We should celebrate", you suggested, ready to go get some food. "Yeah, we should...", she nooded, smirking, before taking her shirt away, clearly having other ideas about the celebration. Now she was sitting on your crotch with her boobs exposed. "Take me, baby, fuck me as you did last time", she purred, caressing your face.
You lift up your upper body, going to suck her boobs, and in the rush pushing her on her back, reversing the situation. You quickly get naked, and she did the same, and now she was there laying and caressing her pussy, inviting you to take her and make her feel good as only you can do.
You slowly inserted your cock inside, making her softly moans and squirm. "So good, baby, I want to have sex with you forever", she moaned, closing her eyes, while you were moving rhythmically, penetrating her her pussy with deep thrusts.
You reprised to suck her boobs, her hands lightly pulling your hairs, while your friend down there was pounding your gf with strenght and love, showing her that even after years of dating, for you she was sexy and hot as the first time you saw her.
"Baby...ah...you make me so happy and your cock...ah...is fantastic", she commented, pushing her head back, because your shaft was hitting all the right spots inside her and now was ready to fill her once again, like the night you got her pregnant.
"Yes, baby, breed me...again...give me your cum", she desperately begged you, while her body was spasming because of her own climax. Momo body and moans were too hot to resist, her pussy was milking you so tightly, so you couldn't help to finally release your baby-making seed in her womb once again.
25 notes · View notes
amnignsity · 3 days
Text
Feverish
Seo Changbin x GenderNuetral! Reader
₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ゚.꒰ᐢ⸝⸝•༝•⸝⸝ᐢ꒱⸒⸒₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ゚.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
MDI??!
Contains: Obsessed!Lovesick!Changbin, Begging, Pleading, Angst, One-sided love, Toxic relationship, slightly gore descriptions like blood, throat cut+ings, k!llings.
No specific Gender reveal on reader ¦].
Also this is kinda like one scene then moving onto to the other scenes - basically recalling the past events.
Tumblr media
╰┈➤ "Please keep touching me like that..."
Changbin pleaded as he grasps onto your hand - holding it against his face as he leans onto your divine touch. It scorched him so bad, it felt so toxic and you both know it was, he can't help in midst of his needs get feverish against the feeling of your forced endearment towards him.
On his knees while he looked up at you standing in front of him as he gives you those gazes - his eyes so glossy and big filled with longing and loving that you couldn't help but let yourself maybe give in once more. He was obsessed.
Obsessed with the ways your hands linger every inched of his body, Obsessed with the way your eyes locked onto his whilst you straddle him from above, Obsessed with the way your kisses - the taste of your lips was permanent against his tongue.
He couldn't help but see you and only you as his only one true love. But was really love? Or just his need for a taste of surveillance? You wondered while you looked down upon his laying figure. Eyes thats filled with tears looking at you with such solicit as he begged for another caress of your hand against his skin.
"Please...I beg of you...."
He let's out a sob as your hands wonder all over his sensitive body - filled with your lip marks and bites, he wished for them to be permanent. Not wanting for such blessings to dissappear. Using him as your gazette and your tongue being the biro that leaves those aching marks that he's so captivated by that even his own passion for music, the rhythms and melodies can no longer strive through his obsession.
You cursed yourself as you give in to him once more, glancing up as his eyes met your intense look filled with desire and sorrow. He couldn't help but only feel the slightest of grief whilst he allows himself to drift off to the pleasure only you can give him.
So vulnerable and submissive underneath your touches.
You boy filled with aching need and passion,
have yet to learn control.
"Please for only a minute more...Allow me to get drunk off just an ounce of your affection, my love..." He pleads like an broken record as you grabbed the handles of your suitcases.
He kneels down hugging you by your waist as he looked up with such a broken gaze - a tear drips down his face while letting out a sniffle. His hold was like iron shackles wanting you to stay forever in his own twisted world filled with toxicity and abuse.
No he doesn't hurt you - he will never for if he does he will slit his own throat knowing that the one he calls his, has a graze a single bruise or an ounce of hurt withering in their heart shall he be judged to a death sentence.
But he couldn't help but beg and plead for you to stay as he could barely breathe in a lonely solitary - filled with unwanted thoughts and feelings only you could fight away and vanish from just a second of your presence.
"It's for the best, Changbin..." You uttered as you removed his hold and left his house, yours and his house that he worked hard for. He looks at you with such agony letting the tears drip down like the blood that had drip down his nose due to excessive exhaustion and sleepless nights just wondering and withering on his bed when you both got into your first fight.
Oh how bad it destroyed him when he caused you such sufferings you didn't deserve...
He was obsessed with you. To the point that even death couldn't kill this sort of passion within him. He'd shed his own blood if needed...
He would even let his hands be painted in red, tainting his fair skin with such a disgusting and vile color if you ordered him to do so...
He'll get you back even if it means till the ends of the earth.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Author's note: So I haven't really been doing angst stuff despite what my name actually stands for - so yea¦]...
Anyways I didn't really have a large thinking process with this although maybe I could boyfriend scenarios with this type of Changbin - and yes he is a pillow prince in this.
This is what my original writting style kinda looks like.
ᯓᡣ𐭩Mxlist°
25 notes · View notes
cupidhoons · 2 hours
Text
you are the only exception ⟡ ksn
syn you hate everyone — everyone except him
genre & warnings non idol! au, popular(ish)! sunoo, grumpy reader x sunshine sunoo, pure fluff, s2f2l, lmk if there's more back2navi
NOTE HURRAY A SUNOO FIC!! i love my baby TO DEATH kim sunoo ily i wish U were Real 🙁🙁 this is also for @ashtxrie my fav sunoo stan 😇 also happy 200 posts to me :)!! thank you all for the love 🫶
Tumblr media
you hated school. you hated walking there every morning and you hated those teenage boys who are way too loud about their business. you hated the girls who would go up to you and tease you about how lonely you are. you hated every single aspect of your current life.
except for kim sunoo.
sunoo was the only person in your school to ever go up to you with clear intentions of being your friend. you remember him coming into the school and almost immediately became one of the popular kids. he was a ray of sunshine — your ray of sunshine.
he came up to you with the brightest smile anyone could ever have. you swore you fell in love right then and there — i mean, who wouldn't?
"hello! i'm sunoo, what's your name?!" he beams brightly. you were slightly taken aback by his actions, of course. no one ever came up to you unless they wanted to make a backhanded compliment towards you.
"um...hi?" you say hesitantly. it hasn't even been a full week since he's been here — did he already hear stuff about you?
he looks at you expectantly. with his bright eyes looking into yours, it was hard to focus on what he had just said to you. you hear him clear his throat and you snap back into reality.
"sorry...um...i'm y/n. it's nice to meet you, sunoo." you say in a monotoned voice. you expect him stop smiling and walk away — similar to how everyone else does — but to your surprise he doesn't.
from that day on he never left you alone. you didn't mind as it was nice to have someone around you. you eventually got closer and you slowly let your guard down. he was the first person to ever see you smile and laugh.
"oh my god! y/n, did you just laugh at my joke!?" he says in disbelief. you never usually laugh at his jokes — as they were incredibly corny — but today, you couldn't help it. not only was it actually funny, but it was also a sign that you were getting comfortable with him.
you giggle at his reaction as you nod. "i'm afraid i did. i didn't know you were capable of being funny!" he lets out a dramatic gasp which makes you smile even wider.
"and i didn't know you were capable of even smiling!"
"well, that makes the two of us."
since then your friendship has bloomed into more romantic terms. you realized that it was getting harder to focus on your schoolwork, which by the way, was unlike you. not only that, but you also had insane amount of butterflies whenever you talked to him.
so, one thing led to another. it got to a point where you couldn't keep in your feelings anymore and you ended up accidentally confessing. you worried that he was going to leave you — but he didn't.
"yah! why do you look like you're about to cry?! didn't you hear me?! i like you too, stupid!" he lightly pushes your shoulder in a teasing way then pouts. "you know i hate seeing you cry! and as your boyfriend, i can't let you cry!"
he pulls you closer to him and cups your face. you look at him surprised.
"i told you once that i'll never leave you. so don't worry, okay? i'm not going anywhere, nor do i plan to." and before you could say anything — he puts his soft lips on yours.
he stays true to his promise today. as you lay in bed with your now boyfriend, admiring his features as he sleeps. the sun seeping through the window as you snuggle closer to him — he was the only exception, and you didn't plan on changing that.
Tumblr media
permanent taglist (open — send an ask to be added) ; @kyoaeri @copyhanni @flwrstqr @dioll @wonifullove
23 notes · View notes
oddsconvert · 4 hours
Note
"Open it." For my boy Josh (prompt for the five sentence fic!)
"Open it."
It isn't a request.
It's a dare. An ice-cold threat that freezes Josh to the spot. He stands paralyzed, his clammy palm welded to the doorknob. Josh's sorry life flashes before his bloodshot eyes, and his freedom taunts him from the other side of the unlocked door. It calls him, it pulls him like a magnet.
Josh wants to live, and not just survive. He wants his life back. His simple, mundane life. He'd give anything and everything to blend back into the world and fade into the background.
"Go on, Joshy. See what happens the second you open that door." Felix stalks closer but Josh doesn't face him. He can't face him. With his puffy, tear-stained cheeks and deer-in-headlight eyes. Josh's ears prick up at the sound of slow footsteps coming to a stop just over his shoulder.
"You know I'd catch you, don't you, honey?" Felix half purrs, half growls. Josh's thumping heart falls to the pit of his stomach. "God have mercy on you, I'd hunt you down like a wild animal. And when I finally find you...?"
Josh physically cringes and shrivels up as Felix nibbles at Josh's neck and kisses the dip of his collarbone. Felix slowly reaches around to place his hand on top of Josh's shaking one, on the door handle, and pulls it away.
"I'd snap your legs like twigs," Felix whispers in Josh's ear. "I would just love you bed-bound. It would be my dream come true, baby... the things I'd do to you..."
Josh hears Felix actually lick his lips and his gut suddenly twists. Josh thought his life was already a fate worse than death...somehow, it can get worse. He spins around to face Felix, eyes blown wide and sparkling - his lip wobbling like a small child.
It's a risk he's not willing to take. Any foolish bravery suddenly dissolves and his fight or flight suddenly switches off. Josh just feels empty.
He collapses into Felix's arms in a slump. His body rockets with sobs as Felix cradles him and smoothes the jet-black hair over his scalp.
"Sweet boy," Felix mumurs dotingly, "sweet, confused little boy. You know you belong with me, don't you?"
Josh nods miserably into Felix's chest.
"I'm the only one who knows you inside and out, who will take care of your every want and need. You'll never leave me, baby-blue."
25 notes · View notes
mcflymemes · 1 day
Text
PROMPTS FROM THE SONGS ON TIME LIFE'S ULTIMATE LOVE SONGS COLLECTION - YES, THAT COMMERCIAL *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary. "cauuuseee i'm your laaaaady (imagine owning the world's greatest love songs)... and you are my maaann..."
your voice is warm and tender.
i'm your lady, and you are my man.
whenever you reach for me, i'll do all that i can.
i am always by your side.
sometimes i am frightened.
i'm ready to learn.
i could hardly believe it when i heard the news today.
i had to come and get it straight from you.
they said you were leaving.
from the look upon your face, i see it's true.
tell me how am i supposed to live without you?
how am i supposed to carry on?
i didn't come here to break down.
a dream of mine is coming to an end.
how can i blame you?
it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star.
if love can see us through, then we'll be together.
your love is all i'll ever need.
i look in your eyes and there i see what happiness really means.
the love that we share makes life so sweet.
here and now, i promise to love faithfully.
nothing can take your love away.
i believe in love.
now i know i've succeeded.
i'll be eternally grateful.
come back again.
i want you to stay next time.
don't wake me up too soon.
unforgettable. that's what you are.
have i told you lately that i love you?
have i told you there's no one else above you?
you fill my heart with gladness.
somehow, you make it better.
every time you go away, you take a piece of me with you.
i'll always love you for the rest of my days.
you gave me hope when i needed someone near.
you have made my life complete.
tell me, who could ask for more?
when i kiss your lips, i start to shiver.
when i'm in your arms, nothing seems to matter.
i don't care how you get here. just get here if you can.
if i had my way, then surely you would be closer.
i need you closer.
still, i can't figure out what went wrong.
i'd still do anything for you.
i can pretend each time i see you that i don't care and i don't need you.
i've learned so much from you.
if you fall, i will catch you.
you said "go slow."
you know our love was meant to be.
i want you here with me from tonight until the end of time.
you're always on my mind.
you're the meaning in my life.
no one needs you more than i need you.
i want to see you clearly.
these dreams go on when i close my eyes.
i see the questions in your eyes.
i'll never break your heart.
i'll love you with every beat of my heart.
wherever you go, whatever you do, i will be right here waiting for you.
i'm stuck on you.
i guess it's time for me to come on home.
so hard to see that a woman like you could wait around for a man like me.
36 notes · View notes
lucabyte · 1 day
Note
your ocs!!!!! please ramble about them!!!!
i love your art so much
(GRABS YOU) H. CAN DO BOSS.
So ! My ocs. I guess I'll do an overall explainer for the overall groups. If you check out my Toyhouse (LINK!) there's a bunch of folders up top that are how I categorise them. It's primarily by universe except for the folders that are just "misc."
So folder 1: Blatant favouritism:
These are silly little guys that don't fit in any specific wider universe, but I really really like. So I'll spotlight the two important ones before i get real in the weeds with my main universe.
In here are notably, my Fursona (self explanatory), Ali and Pittsburgh Cincinnati. There's also Hauntkit and Clearpelt who are warriorcats ocs that *is dragged away by airport security*
... So, Pittsburgh, lovingly sometimes called pissbug, is a weird little Thing who I made as like, an homage to characters like happy bunny and Sweetypuss. She (and her weird dog) exist to stand next to strange and offputting captions. I love her. No further context. She's just silly. and violent.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Now. Ali.
Ali Alighieri has thoroughly stolen the show, and also ties into the next folder along, Making Your MK.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
With over a hundred extra images compared to second place (Sorry, Tabitha). Ali is my fucked up little scrunkly. My little baby guy. They're a shared character of mine and @samhainian's, and is from their Creature Feature setting (A modern fantasy setting wherein Cryptids and Magic are real but in our modern world.) They are as such, a modern human young adult... Who is also a demon + magic user.
Strange little pansexual altersex genderqueer poetry-nerd that they are... The modern setting also means they are literally just a tumblr user. A fellow countryman, so to speak.
HOWEVER.... Ali's true origin was in *Purrgatorio*, a scrapped visual novel of mine set in the MYMK universe! They were simply retrofitted into CF as the joke with Purrgatorio was that a regular human had mysteriously just shown up in MYMK's pure-furry setting.... And then when we scrapped the project we got all attatched to our little not-so-blank-slate protagonist. But I'll put a pin in Purrgatorio for later.
Tumblr media
Making Your MK.
(Guest of honour: My super unfinished website <3)
Okay so here's the big one. The setting with.... (looks at spreadsheet) 109 characters not including so-called incidentals. At time of writing.
MYMK is home to... Multiple stories. As you would hope when a setting has 100+ characters. I'd wager each story has about 10-20 relevant characters tops but with a big shared universe like this there gets to be overlap between casts!!! Yay !!! 😊😊😊
MYMK is the name of the main story in the setting. Pronounced "Making your Mark", it is centered around Markus Felidae (The purple one) and their family. It's very action-adventure-y. It's also the plot I'm most secretive about the backend of since I WILL!!!!! Turn it into a nice prose story with pictures SOMEDAY!!!!! But for now tee hee hee secrets secrets. Markus' family is strange and ragtag and is keeping something from them... I can't ramble on too long here unless further prompted in asks about specifics but!!! Everyone in the MYMK folder has a fully furbished little profile with a blurb about them. So if you're curious....
Tumblr media Tumblr media
But yeah, I tend to think of the MYMK setting more in terms of its Locations than its Casts, due to the overlapping nature of them all. The Malbranche may be the villains of the main plot, but they're also major players in relation to The Palsgrave who are the antagonists of Moraine, etc etc,
The country everything in MYMK is set in is called New Orphidian, Southern hemisphere little thing, here's a very cartoony map of it.
Tumblr media
Um. Cliffside!
Since it's the best map I have... Here's an exclusive sneak peek of a Zine I'll be getting back to once the fandom brain cools down a bit.... :3c
Tumblr media
(... I REALLY NEED TO DO A TOUR AROUND THE MINECRAFT CLIFFSIDE SAM AND I BUILT..... IT'S SO CUTE....)
Cliffside is situated on a big ol' Cliff.
A tiny hamlet of a place, it used to have reason to exist, and now does not. It's not even a good tourist locale, as the cliff is much too dangerous compared to the nicer tourist spot of Welkin just a little north. Not to mention nearby Moraine's allure as a tax haven with no labour laws place where a bunch of TV and Movies are filmed!
It's where most of MYMK's main cast reside (except the antagonists from the Big City Varmonte), and is as such a location I have a lot of tiny little worldbuilding thoughts about :)
Tumblr media
I won't go into the other locations here just because then this post will SUPER get away from me but... I think most importantly for Cliffside right now...
Is that it's where Purrgatorio is set. Yes, that VN I said got scrapped. It's not dead. It is in fact serving it's original intended purpose as "A (mostly) noncanon exploration of character voice and setting"
It's back and its prose babeyyyyyyy!!! (A BUNCH OF THE EARLY STUFF IS ME BEING SUPER RUSTY ... BE WARNED)
Purrgatorio is currently the most publicly available coherent work I have out of my ocs! It's very low-stakes and serves mostly to bash my toys together and see what character dynamics come out, but you can look if you want to!
(There's also a whole THING on the meta of its Canonicity... It's not canon, but it's also not NOT canon. But if I talk about Metanarrative Timeline Collapse in my normal mundane non-magic setting im gonna sound bonkers ✌)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ali's dynamics with the MYMK cast are so goddamn funny to me. Like I literally just handed my OCs some ET shit but ET is a sexually repressed tumblr user with a mood disorder.
But yeah I don't think I can coherently string together much more about MYMK without just actually explaining THE WHOLE PLOT.... Though I will absolutely elaborate on any given character's Whole Deal if i'm prompted. (OH MY GOD I DIDNT EVEN TALK ABOUT CHROME AND TABITHA. WAIT. OKAY THERE'S. OK NO IF I TALKED ABOUT THEM IT'D JUST END UP AN ESSAY ,SORRY..)
So here's some bonafide classic images for the road.
(IF TUMBLR BREAKS THE FORMATTING AND JUST PUTS THESE ONE AFTER THE OTHER INSTEAD OF IN A GRID IM SO SORRY LMAOOOOO)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
... And as for the other folders on my toyhouse!
Misc and Fandom are what they sound like. Self explanatory,
Then, Ysden is @samhainian's fantasy setting. It's where our DnD games happen to be set but it's also a general fantasy setting :)
and Monster of the Week... Is currently being revamped! It used to be a modern world setting with hidden magic, now it's going to be more... Adventure Time-y. Fantasy world get iphone. Yknow. It has a lower Age Rating than MYMK's "anything goes", as it started as a Pitch Bible Project in my animation class. They're a little neglected but I still love them :) The revamp is extemely recent and not reflected in any of the art/writing yet but I'm workin on it. It still doesn't have a proper title..... OTL
So yeah!! Uh. This wasn't as comprehensive as I was hoping but it turns out I have way, WAY too many thoughts on my guys. And no idea what to do when im actually asked about them so !!!! This was not a very coherent ramble but it was a ramble !
There's things like essays on Chrome and Tabitha (Link) and also The Queer Gender Identities Of The Whole Cast (Link) hiding around on my toyhouse, and once again, Purrgatorio (Link) serves as my sandbox for playing with how these characters act in situations.
But..... ! I did try to make my toyhouse approachable for the average layman. Every character in the MYMK folder (Link) has a *blurb* of information, rather than a giant wall of text explaining everything about them. I want people to be able to understand their general vibe at a glance rather than be overwhelmed.
In any case ???? Uh. Fun game for everyone: If you know your homestuck classpect, every single MYMK character has a classpect and lunar sway. and a birthday. Try and find your andrew-hussie assigned kin! As a Prospitian Witch of Heart, I share my classpect and lunar sway with Chrome. No I don't know what this means. It worries me honestly he's kind of an asshole.
26 notes · View notes
haru-natsuka · 3 days
Text
Second Male Leads Are all Yanderes but I Won't Rest Until I Win My Love Back (Female Reader x OCs)
CHAPTER 4
Tumblr media
Story will start after the synopsis
Every second male lead who appeared in this world had a hidden yandere side that can emerge at any moment and turn them into a twisted and obsessive villain.
As someone with a severe case of the "second male lead syndrome", you are determined to pursue your love for the second male lead, leaving the original male lead to become the second.
While you were busy chasing after the second male lead, the original male lead kept on bothering you and trying to get you to choose him instead.
"Don't you dare to come any closer!" You snap at the original male lead, your tone sharp and firm.
"Oh, and who's going to stop me? You?" The yandere stares at you, a menacing look in their eyes, as their body slowly moves closer.
"Too close! Step back!"
"Your words mean nothing to me. You can't control me. I will come as close as I please, you can't stop me."
As if a yandere was not enough, when you chose to ignore the original male lead, another second male lead suddenly entered your life, further complicating the situation.
The yandere and the upcoming second male lead both seem determined to have you for themselves, and they were both very possessive and pushy in their approaches to you.
You just wanted to be happy with your true love. Yandere or not, you would stick with your crush!
CHAPTER 1 << CHAPTER 2 << CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4: THE LADIES
What was the meaning of happiness in your life? To you, it was when you had gotten to go out with your lovely Adrian, hands wrapped around his arm in a secure lock and the most important thing was, Adrian allowed you! Just seeing the envious looks on other ladies faces at the town was enough to make your smile even brighter.
'Yes! Adrian is mine! Back off'
"I'm doing you a favour, Adrian. I'm saving you from being ambush by all these predatory ladies" That was just an excuse as you tightened your hold on him, laid your head on his shoulder and acted as his protector and savior.
"Oh, you are? I am in debt to you then." Although you did not look at his face as you were busy laying your head on his shoulder but you could tell he was looking at your direction.
"Do you think they would've been able to lure me away from you?" His question sounded so playful but coming from Adrian, it was just out of pure curiosity. An angel who just wanted to know more about your thoughts.
"Will you?" You chose to withhold your answer for this one question and used his curiosity for this opportunity instead.
"If these ladies tried to lure you away from me, would you fall for their antics?" You asked, wanting to see how he would answer that question.
"I don't think so. I rather feel more comfortable being with you, out of everyone. You spend a lot of your time with me and I can't be more than thankful or..." Adrian's tone changed from his usual calm one into the one he would used whenever he would tease you for fun.
"or maybe it was the fact that you held onto me too tightly that I cannot escape to anywhere" You could feel his hot breath hit your face as he brought his face closer to you as he whispered.
'Too cute! Can I just pinch those cheeks.'
"Your words does not synchronies with your expression, Adrian. You had fun teasing me a lot these days"
As you were about to behave more respectful to Adrian's boundary by releasing your grip on his arm, as if he disliked the idea, Adrian placed a hand over yours. Your focus was back at him in question. When you looked into his eyes, they were glistening warmly and looking at you, giving you chills and a hint of excitement.
"This is the payment for my debt so do as you like"
'Do as I like? I-I ba-bad thoughts go away!'
"Look at these two undeclared young couple. Flirting with each other early in the morning" Suddenly, an old voice rang out, calling attention to you and Adrian from a fruit store. You immediately glanced over your shoulder to look at the source of the voice.
The person who spoke was none other than your dear madam, who smiled sheepishly at you with joy and rejoice. Your mood brightened when you saw her expression, as it was a reminder of her support of this relationship. She seemed overjoyed with your happiness and satisfaction, and this made you feel more grateful to her for her kindness and love towards you.
"You're mistaken, madam. We are not a couple yet," you clarified, politely explaining to her that you and Adrian were not a couple at this point in time.
"But pray for my success please. When we are together, madam would be the first person I told to."
Upon hearing your words, the madam's eyes widened and she displayed an expression that held a hint of disappointment. It was apparent that she had hoped for a different outcome, with the two of you already being a couple. That was why she was now feeling disappointed, after realizing that you still not success in pursuing your love for Adrian.
"Adrian still rejecting you?" The madam shifted her focus on Adrian.
"Young man, you should not let a beautiful flower alone when it's dazzlingly shine in front of you. You should treasure it before it flies away. As the flower blown by the wind, it would be hard for you to get it back"
Adrian remained silent and did not reply, his expression changing to one that you found difficult to fathom. You choose to be the one who continued the conversation. Mentally, questioning the meaning of his expression. He must felt uncomfortable with the old lady's words.
"Madam, I will never go away. I will never give up but I dont want to force Adrian to accept my feeling." You reassured the older lady, who was now actively supporting and rooting for you and yet failed miserably.
"That's the same answer you keep on repeating. I'm rooting for you, Y/N and do remember my warning young man."
Adrian remained silent all the way until both of you reached a bookstore, seemingly deep in thought. He did not seem to have much to say, and kept his thoughts to himself. You chose not to enter the bookstore with him to give him some space, and instead, simply waited outside while he went in.
As you waited outside the bookstore, you did not have much else to do except to inspect the stores around you in detail. You closely studied the signs, decorations, and interiors, as if they were the most interesting things you had ever seen. You took in all the various colors and designs of each store, and soaked it all in with great care and detail.
As you continued to inspect the stores around you, a sudden burst of noise and a crowd of people caught your attention. The crowd was gathered and concentrated in one spot, which caught your curiosity. So, you tiptoed closer in order to see what it was that had piqued their interest. When you eventually managed to get a glimpse of the source, you were shaken by what you saw.
As you were watching the scene unfold from your vantage point, you suddenly saw a familiar face that you recognized from your college days. It was the most hated man from your list, someone you absolutely despised. The man locked eyes with you, and immediately began approaching you at a rapid pace.
'No no he does not walking here right or he might wants to buy something from the store too. Yeah yeah that must be it. We had never even talked before'
You quickly scooted to the side, attempting to evade his path by moving out of the way. However, he continued to approach you, as if he had his sights set on you and had no intention of backing down. Without awaiting your consent, he abruptly grabbed your wrist and pulled you close to him, seeming insistent in engaging in a direct interaction with you.
'The hand that only meant for Adrian! What with this bastard with his unrespectful behavior?! He just walks to me perfectly fine but still need to pull me? That's not important right now. The thing is, don't you dare disturbing my outing with my man!'
@d3sperate-enuf @sirenetheblogger @orinnie @aoiyx @chin-chii
This time, I want to focus on the growth of the interaction for Adrian and Y/N. Are the dialogues too much though? But I do enjoy writing it this way. Isn't it too fluffy and cute?! Enjoy your weekend while accompanied by this story.
40 notes · View notes
Text
> be a robin buckley fan
> be lesbian
> project on robin
> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic
> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve
#saw one in which steve was like ''no robin you don't understand! i have never been loved! i don't know how that feels like!''#i have several grips about that interpretation#going from the fact that's not true (dustin is clearly a big steve fan + robin herself cares about him deeply)#to the fact he probably wouldn't be introspective enough to voice his emotions this concisely not to mention he'd probably wouldn't take#a moment to realize he's never felt loved if that were the case. i mean. he could think that. when he's like 35 and more in touch with his#inner world. 19yo steve can't even get the hint that hitting on a girl who's already clearly taken (nancy) is wrong so like i don't expect#him to be that smart#but i can live with people having takes i don't agree with. my opinion doesn't have to be everyone else's opinion if you see steve that way#it fine#what bothered me was the fact he was saying this to a lesbian living in the 80s lmao#who tells him that 1) her whole life has been an error 2) she doesn't think he'd want to be close to her if he truly knew her and 3)#3) is paralyzed by fear of social suicide if she dares believe for even a second that the girl she likes may like her too#like i dont need people to do deep dives into robin lore and quote from memory lines from Surviving Hawkins abt robin feeling like she's#rotten inside. not supposed to have friends. feeling like something is wrong with her and that pushes people away etc etc#the fact that she's a lesbian should tell you enough abt who has the biggest chances of being loved 😭#also bothered me that it showed up when looking up posts abt internalized homophobia because?? where's the internalized homophobia therw#unless it's gay steve feeling bad abt it in an AU (as if canon robin didn't go through it)#like look im not bothered to find steve-centric content in the robin tag cos people are gonna tag her in posts mentioning her.#she's his friend.#but there are barely any posts at all about robin's internalized homophobia. like i saw 2 or 3. compared to all the steve or steddie ones#where's the love for my babygirl 😭😭#anti steddie#not really but y'know i don't wanna bother anyone#edit: the bit about there being like 3 posts on robin w internalized homophobia isn't exactly true. there are a few. but they still feel#drowned in st3ddie posts#like something isn't right here
9 notes · View notes
riseninsaturn · 1 year
Text
one day i’ll write an articulate post about why the gavin brothers are the most emotionally repressed people in ace attorney and maybe ever but in two entirely separate ways but as of right now whenever i think about that very concept i feel like screaming into a bottomless well so that idea is on hold
12 notes · View notes
rubberbandballqueen · 11 months
Text
a kid at work was like "look at my stuffed animal!!" and i was like "ooooo" bc i love soft things n then she was like "would you like to hold it?" n i was like "BOY WOULD I!!" n then she was like "but he's been injured so i put a band-aid on him" n i was like "oh does he need to be sewn up?" expecting this child to have been like me n just put band-aids on her stuffed animals For Funsoes but then she was like "yeah :(" and showed me the hole n i was like "oh my god. would you like me to fix him up?" n so anyway i have now fixed up the giant gaping hole in her stuffed sloth hehe c:
1 note · View note
binnie · 1 year
Text
i!!! hate!!!!!!! being borderline!!!!!!!!!!
#negativity incoming heads up#dude every little thing that happens gets me on edge and sends me down a spiral I absolutely fucking hate ths#the context is that my favourite person cancelled plans for us to hang out to go have dinner#(I didn't ask with whom because I know that either way I wasn't going to like the answer)#you see she's had a boyfriend for over a year and a half I think#and we get along! we've been buds since high school and he's a cool dude (except when he's not because men)#I know this is not true. I know it's my mind playing evil tricks on me. I know this is the voice talking.#but I constantly feel like she's slowly but surely replacing me#not that i'm the only friend she's allowed to have or anything I just..#can't help but to think that there'll come a day where she's going to have to pick between him or me and she'll always pick him#she's always talking about how much she loves and how they're already making plans to live together and get married and shit#and i'm happy for her I genuinely am#but I feel.... i don't even know for sure#I feel like everyone's moving forward while I sit in the same place. I feel like I'm being left behind#truth is I feel very alone#I keep pushing my friends away because I'm a shit person and now would you look at that: i'm completely alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i'm isolated from everyone else and it's all my fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I have no one to blame for my misery but myself#I feel like I'm being consumed from the inside out#there's this awful evil tension inside me that I can't shoulder#i'm used to The Empty#I'm used to being hollow#but this emptiness.. it hurts#ive grown used to it#that's the worst part#if you're reading and you've made it this far I want to say thank you and also that I'm doing fine I'm just rambling#and wallowing in my grievances#ANYWAY#I have a lot of work to do because I neglected my academic responsabilities for months and now I must suffer the consequences lmao#this semester has been hell. ive humiliated myself a hundred times over in many different ways. i've disappointed a lot of people
2 notes · View notes
guidingsbolt · 2 years
Text
motw game of all TIME!!!!!!!!
#i could make like six little tag essays from this session alone it had EVERYTHING#i don't even know what to START with#god. i am so glad riley survived. i'm SO glad.#will would've gotten so much worse if they had died....#i said this in my little grouped chat but riley is will if she didn't have yaz#they were turned right around the same age as will on a silly little trip with their friends just like will and it was so soon after#will left the pack headinhands#i'm SO glad i rolled well on hunches i'm SO they lived because otherwise riley would just be a reminder of what could've happened to will#riley is my new best friend in the whole world will is gonna develop SUCH a complex about them....#and we're coming up on the full moon griamce emoji#will's gonna have to be the one who is calm and in control because we can't have TWO#and i'm SO glad the fight went as bad as it did and beowulf didn't let will get the last word in i love mean hannah#we won but BOY did we earn it#all of will's fears about the pack are TRUE they are way too fucking strong to really take on they do want her dead in the ground#they're running around making new werewolves grimace emoji#man. will is pissed off#she's always hated beowulf but she was too scared and too guilty and trying so hard to repress any strong emotion that she didn't really#feel it i think#but YAZ almost DIED beowulf came into HER backyard and was trying to kill just a KID like her and he gets away with whatever he wants#if riley had died in the middle of that fight she might have tried to kill beowulf then and there grimace emoji#which. beyond the obvious problems with that would've caused a HUGE issue with PARCH#will doesn't care what parch says she knows beowulf and she knows what happened to her and she wants him dead and she'll do it herself#because she's angry! she's allowed to be angry! the angriest she's ever been about anything#and sure telling beowulf to fuck off had consequences but man it felt good#man. i'm delighted pleading emoji#ch: will#g: motw
5 notes · View notes