#this is not speculation on his personal life btw and i will bite people if i have to! i just wanted to talk about the themes

[scandalouslamb]

re: ask game

i am still not over allegory of the cave and would love to get your director’s commentary on florus’s relationship with iphigenia and clemmie since they got mentions!

Oooh, Allegory of the Cave!

Here's a link to another ask that Backpacks sent about Florus and Felix for others who may be interested!

Anyway, actually there was a lot more going on with them that got cut from the fic, because it kind of made the pacing and flow weird! Thanks for reminding me with this ask, haha!

In the original draft, Iphigenia and Florus were stated to have been close growing up but grew apart because Florus was a bit too liberal with things she told him in confidence (namely why she's been starving herself). The information that Florus spread her secret came to her by way of Clemensia whom Iphigenia cornered and who deflected to him pretty fast, so Florus has complicated feelings about them.

In the original draft (and there are traces of it in the final), Florus has a lot of guilt over what happened with Iphigenia. There was a section (pre-me remembering that I make the ending a fake Florus autobiography) where a kind of third-person omniscient narrator speculates that history will remember Iphigenia's mother (who I guess was alive in that version. I flip flop about if she's dead or not in my worldbuilding) as having been unkind to Florus after Iphigenia's funeral, but actually this was Florus projecting. <- a more convoluted way of highlighting how someone's personal biases might color a story/history.

There's an implication that Iphigenia forgave him towards the end, but Florus was too afraid to confront his past like that (ironic given he's a historian. kind of a parallel to him being uncomfortable thinking about Clemensia who is dead by the time of the fic). He never fully mended that bridge, and it hangs over him.

Clemensia is like really complicated, because there's a sense of friendly affection with her that he (in my head) would have for a lot of the mentors, but there's also kind of a jealousy? (and the resentment from the Iphigenia thing). I was conceptualizing her as kind of a foil to him. She's active in the rumor mill and actively weaponizing and influencing it for her own benefit, but unlike Florus, she's more well-liked and charismatic. She's also took a more active role in things, and Florus was more passive. The self-identification continues in that I imagine that she died due to medical complications from the snake bite that came later in life while Florus is also dying of similar complications. I think Florus has in his mind, largely forgiven Clemensia for the Iphigenia thing (and the using him to scapegoat other Capitolites), but once in a while, the bitterness resurfaces.

Not really Clemmie and Iphigenia related, but fun fact: the reason I figured that Snow hasn't killed him for what Florus might know from his time information brokering (key word might) is because Snow has the ability to cut off Florus' medical treatments (and Florus is already dying). Florus knows this, and lives under threat of Snow just doing that or poisoning some of his medication at any point (his death would not be suspicious given his state). It keeps him from acting out in his final days. (something something. it is better to live. once dead, you loose all true agency. you will be interpreted by others (as is history) so why not cling to the last of your personhood?) So, Florus' autobiography probably gets published post-Mockingjay. I like to think with Plutarch's help.

Final note that's just generally for this fic and not specifically what you asked:

idk how popular Florus' autobio is initially btw. I think Plutarch's support helps it make the rounds but also i think there is a lot of focus on anti-Snow history books in the wake of the rebellion to help the new government... history is not free of agenda ect. ect. It probably gets more popular later I think... when people can be more objective about Snow and the Capitol.

Anyway, thanks for the ask, Backpacks!

[septembersghost]

i love that there's this theme of pettiness/selfishness/self-deprecation within the hurt on fine line (i know you were way too bright for me/you don't have to say you love me/i'm selfish so i'm hating it...don't you call him "baby," we're not talking lately, don't you call him what you used to call me/i'm just an arrogant son of a bitch who can't admit when he's sorry. don't call me "baby" again...i just hope you'll see me in a little better light. do you think it's easy being of the jealous kind?/there's no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands...i get the feeling that you'll never need me again/i don't wanna make you feel bad, but i've been trying hard not to talk to you/you've got my devotion, but man, i can hate you sometimes)

and then on harry's house for the most part it's all this very open, comforting warmth instead, even when it's still tinged with longing or melancholy (it's cause i love you, babe, in every kind of way/if you're feeling down, i just wanna make you happier, baby/if i was a bluebird, i would fly to you/i'm not worried about where you are, or who you will go home to, i'm just thinkin' about you/you can let it go/we held darkness in, withheld clouds/don't you know that i am right here?). it is inherently compassionate.

a lot of the album is sort of deceptively sunny while being full of yearning underneath, and that was one of the first things that caught me on initial listens, but it wasn't until tonight, hearing a song from fine line and then harry's house play back-to-back, that the difference in outlook and the growth in that approach regarding constancy/love comes through. fine line was more heartbreak and internalized blame or self-pity (which he talked about when it was released, how when you're hurt you can get mired in that state of mind), harry's house is longing to be able to make things better or lift people you care about up, and acknowledging absence and the painful places in life and the world at large (we don't really like what's on the news, but it's on all the time) while embracing pockets of light (take you with me every time i go away) to survive and make it through. the love is a solace instead of a slow healing wound. it's something i think i've written about before, the feeling of saudade, both happy and sad, the joy at recollection of memories and the aching separation of missing that, of nostalgia for someone or some place dearly loved (for home, for the home of your heart). it's really reflective of the times we're in and holding onto those small but invaluable fragments that make it worth it.

[amwritingmeta]

S15: Dean and Cas

Pardon my lateness. Life is mental at the moment! I haven’t watched 15x17 yet but hope to do so today or tomorrow. Gods preserve me, for then there will be only three more episodes left. *is this real life??*

Okay, leaving that, let’s talk about Dean and Cas, shall we? Yes, we shall!

Dean and Cas’ relationship, or rather, how they relate themselves to each other, has been in focus this season, because it’s been pivotal to both of their arcs in canonically straightforward ways. Ways so straightforward that we haven’t really seen the likes of them since S11, and with the very heavy-duty callbacks to S11 these last two episodes, it all seems quite fitting.

I mean, Jack is a bomb like Dean was a bomb and Dean got to ask Amara why she would bring Mary back, and she got to clarify she meant it as a gift, a thank you at the end of S11, because Dean didn’t blow himself to kingdom come and her along with him, because instead he realised how he could broker peace and allow for light and dark to find balance.

Which is what Dean needs to find right now.

He needs to balance out the light and dark, the masculine and the feminine, the conscious and unconscious, the ego and the shadow. He needs to balance himself out in order to let go of his fury. Why does he need that? Why would the narrative continuously hit on him needing to let go of his anger? Because that’s the reason why he was put on this journey to begin with, this slow and steady coming-of-age-coming-into-his-own progression of finding forgiveness and feeling worthy and having faith that he deserves good things.

How do we know this?

Well, arguably this season through what happens to Dean whenever he gives his fury free range, whenever he allows it to hollow out his faith, his trust, making him one-track minded, suspicious and controlling: he loses something.

He loses Cas.

This season has been all about highlighting what happens when Dean is unable to be even the slightest bit self-aware, when he veers off the path of self-acceptance. This season, Dean has had Cas disappear out of his life twice: first when Cas walked out of the bunker and second in Purgatory, when Cas went with the Leviathan. (to get them away from Dean)

The first time Dean almost lost Cas was really all about highlighting Cas’ independence (thank fuck for that), letting us see how far they’ve come in their relationship, because Dean didn’t dig himself a grave this time, perhaps having faith, in spite of it all, that Cas would come back to him, and Cas went off on his own, feeling like there was nothing left for him at the bunker when there was no forgiveness to be had from Dean.

Except, Cas thought better of it. He realised it wasn’t just on Dean to push for change—it was on him as well. And, knowing Dean, Cas had the epiphany that he would have to lead the way. 

Dean, of course, not being able to forgive and forget all that easily, needed a final push, which is why the second time he almost lost Cas was all about Dean. He had to confront his anger. He had to, because naming it and admitting it as the root cause of so many of his actions (and reactions) is a cornerstone for him to begin letting that anger go.

Almost losing Cas brought him to a moment of clarity, brought him to take a knee and admit to being wrong and offering the forgiveness he’d been holding back, because being angry is easier, especially when, it could be argued, you were beginning to feel that trust in good things lasting.

Yeah, speaking of good things lasting, it brings us to this question: Why is Dean so angry? 

He doesn’t know why (or so he claims) and he probably does need to have his eyes opened for him, the way Amara tried to open them, the way his conversation with her was a highlighter for the point he’s being pushed to finally reach in his progression: forgiving the past, embracing the present, trusting in the future and in the fact that he deserves to live a long and happy rest of his life. 

The fact that she’s completely dressed in pink - hello positive femininity representative who kicks ass and who once almost killed God and then was balanced out so that she instead healed him with her light and they twisted into dark and light smoke and went off together - is just delicious icing on the cake.

Yeah, and that’s the issue, Dean, alright, buddy?

Dean is angry because his mother died and her death meant that he lost his father too, it meant that he didn’t get to have a childhood, it meant that he stopped believing that he could have good things that would last, because of a confused sense of identity and a crippled sense of self-worth—why did bad things happen to him if he didn’t deserve it somehow?— and pushed him to mold himself into what would make him feel strong and brave: the image that his father projected. 

The soldier.

The weapon and the shield.

And now it seems Protect Sammy has morphed into Sacrifice Jack, all because Dean’s fury at Chuck’s manipulation isn’t containable, and there’s no way Dean’s going to let Chuck live. Even if it means Jack dies in the process. As Dean said to Sam in 15x16: at least it’s not them this time. 

All the while we just sit here and witness Dean morphing into the revenge thirsty spitting image of his father one last time, for one final, big ole push towards the line he’ll have to cross if he’s to finally understand once and for all where it’s actually drawn.

At Cas’ feet.

Remember back in S12, before Cas died, there was that subtle (erm) motif of pointy things going through people’s hearts from behind? Yeah. It happened twice, if I remember correctly, before the pointy end of an angel blade went through Cas’ heart and he died an angel death in the season finale.

Yeah. That.

So.

So now, in S15, we have Cas caught in a motif again, only this time Dean is right there with him, because it involves both of them. 

We’ve had anger and loss, and then honesty and forgiveness.

We’re back to anger, we’re back to Dean seeing red, blinded by it, and the only thing—we’ve been shown—that can unblind him is…?

That’s right: losing Cas.

So he will lose Cas again. We’ve been on the precepice of this as fact for a good long while now, haven’t we, my merry macarons? We have indeed! The question becomes how will Dean lose Cas again? Is Cas actually going to die? Again??

I still sincerely doubt it.

I think Cas will find another way, and that other way will equal a sacrifice on his part. His life? I mean, it could be, but what about the Empty? What about allowing himself to be happy? It could add up somehow, I guess I just can’t see it. So I think the sacrifice will somehow involve Heaven, because we know Michael will be back, and I hope it will involve Hell and all of the forces God has brought into being working against him—together.

S p e c.

Now, I’m a sadist. No, not like that -> I’m a sadist when it comes to characters. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a sadist. (Misha Collins is one, as we all know) (I joke!) (down Bessie!) What I’m getting at is that I want Cas having no other recourse but to do whatever it is he’ll have to do to save Jack to, quite literally, break Dean. 

We know they’re all teary eyed in 15x18 (feels like it’s Billie whom Dean is glaring at) and we’ve seen Dean crying against a wall and omfg I want it to be explicit and over Cas. Yeah? 

We ain’t getting them driving off in the Impala together (which is fine btw because the final episode should focus on the brothers more than anything else) (I mean, a hint that they will be driving around in that Impala post season finale while Sam goes to be with Eileen would be fab, but we can only hope and wish, yeah?) (horses held), so let’s get Dean broken over thinking he’ll never see Cas again. 

Let it be done with a big fat black marker in enormous circles around his emotional state. Let him TELL Cas to stay this time, like he should’ve done when Cas walked out the door in 15x03, only for Cas to be unable to comply, because this is all to teach Dean a lesson that this is where his anger gets him, and what he needs to do to save Cas is let that anger go, stop thinking Jack is expendable, and find a better way.

I mean, this is speculation, guys. This is hoping and wishing all over this narrative. But glory effing be if it’s anywhere in the ballpark.

It would be mind-blowing if there was a God intervention of some sort, a talking down off the ledge, as it were, as per end of S11, but I’m not going to hold my breath for *rainbows*…

I’ll hold it for balance, though. :)

Cas has waited for Dean for a long time. Dean being dismissive of Cas in 15x15 can, once again— because whenever he acts like a dick it comes back to bite him on the ass (there’s a visual for you)— be looked at as part of the tapestry that makes Cas feel there’s nothing more for him but being a father to Jack. 

Dean did nothing but instill this feeling in Cas after Cas came back from the black hole that is the Empty in S13, Dean being all “You were brought back because we needed you”—Dean saying zero things about how he was basically ripping apart at the seams from the grief of losing Cas just hours before Cas made that phone call. 

And of course not. Why would Dean admit that? Even to himself, once Cas was back. 

He wouldn’t! 

Ignoring how he really feels about stuff and taking Cas for granted is kinda what he does, so back to normal it all went. So normal and so leveled out that something had to happen, right? Because, in Dean’s mind, good things don’t last.

And then Mary happened.

Oh, my heart!

And Dean went off and cried, by himself, because he still couldn’t show emotion that openly, even to the people closest to him. But he went down on his knees and he cried in Cas’ ear during that prayer, and that really was something.

That said, Mary’s death was Dean proven right once again, and this person, who is the source of faith and hope and that budding belief that maybe, this time, everything was going to actually get better and stay that way, became the target of Dean’s anger over the injustice of it all. Because Cas was the root of it. He’s always been the root of Dean’s slow-to-grow hope that could bloom into belief and trust, if he just dared let it, that he deserves to be happy.

I wrote in an ask reply that I doubt we’ll get human!Cas, but then I remembered that Cas is still status quo-ing it. It’s why he almost left the bunker without telling anyone again, that choice of skedaddling without checking in getting interrupted by Dean, and Cas being brought into a situation where he had to divulge the information, not only that he was leaving and might not make it back (Dean’s face though!), but that Jack is going through a trial that will ultimately destroy him, which was a nice shift in this dynamic of theirs.

Now, look it, the writers may end Cas’ journey on him status quo-ing it... but for the Empty. 

And I would shrug at the Empty and think, well, maybe that won’t come into play... but for the fact that the deal was brought up just a few episodes back. 

So. Happiness.  

Somehow something will need to push Cas toward a moment of happiness. And letting himself be happy is such a climactic moment for his entire journey—and look at how it perfectly mirrors what Dean is being pushed toward—that I find it difficult to see how that moment would bring an eternity in the Empty.

But I’ve written a lot of words on why I just can’t make sense of why they would choose to kill him or have his moment of happiness be tied to a narrative punishment so I’m not getting into all that again, but because both Dean and Cas are being pushed toward happiness, I’m curious to see which route the writers have chosen to take with it.

It would be thrilling and satisfying in equal measure if we finally get Dean crying over Cas, and only Cas. No filter of Bobby or Mary to take away focus and allow for an argument that he’s not actually grieving Cas. 

It would be thrilling and satisfying for it to be very baseline Just Cas. As it has been just Cas this entire season. Cas at the center of Dean’s anger. Cas at the center of Dean’s push toward healing. Cas having had enough, drawing a line—the one that is still there, at his feet—and doing what he’s always done best: calling Dean out on his bullshit behaviour. Cas making Dean put words to his anger, express forgiveness and say that he’s sorry and all within the same moment to boot.

What all this will amount to, we’ll have to wait and see. 

In a few weeks. Or next week. Or maybe there will be strong indicators where the pendulum is actually swinging in 15x17!

Holy. Hell.

But I can’t see it ending somewhere tragic. If it does, it does. And it will be what it will be. And I’ll mourn a little, and accept it and move on. But I do believe it will end somewhere hopeful. Somewhere that leaves things quite tied up, but also open to interpretation, so that we can pick and choose who ends up where and how these men decide to continue on their journeys, now that this enormous leg of their progression is done, and they’ve learned to put the past to rest.

And if S11 is anything to go by, then the echoes of that ending would be a powerful way to tie everything up, as S11 was meant to be the end of the road, until Andrew Dabb picked up the reins with an idea of how to continue the show for a few more seasons. Or so I’ve heard.

11x23 also gave us the most gloriously frustrating exchange ever written for two characters in a car. Omg. Dean we-ing the absolute hell out of his speech when it was him, he was the one, the entire time Cas was possessed by Lucifer, who insisted they make sure Cas came back unscathed. “You’re the best friend we ever had” my ass, Dean! 

I wanted to talk about Dean and Sam as well, but there’s too little time at the moment for me to write more. And it’s painful, but I have to concede or hit a wall and hitting walls fucken hurts. 

I will mention that Sam telling Dean off at the end of 15x16 still gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

Finally, Sam. Finally.

As ever, sprinklings of salt all over this meta and speculation, my dearlings, but omfg it’s beautiful.

Right then. I’m off to watch 15x17! Wish me luck! *gah!*

[leighlim]

Badge....Bentley....check. :)

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(Hopefully by this point you’ve finished two seasons of ‘Life’, the kind of person who isn’t bothered by spoilers, or are just deciding if you still want to keep watching.)

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To other people....the roles they associate with Damian Lewis would be ‘Homeland’ or even ‘Billions’. For me...it’ll be. Charlie Crews, the subtle humoured zen (maybe not really?) detective.

Throughout the series...there had been speculation about how much Charlie received. From the way he was spending it....I feel like it was triple the $50 million being talked about. Maybe it’s just me? (Maybe there’s a spreadsheet somewhere of a viewer keeping track of how much is left...and how much has been spent?)

PS: Should I even point out that I’m not a real big fan of Bentleys? I mean....enough not to want to own one. My theory of Charlie wanting one...is just proving that he can get a meticulously crafted car (BTW...if you know what kind of Bentley it is...DM me!)...couldn’t shake of his ‘Zen Resolve’

Or...I mean...it could be an inside joke for (or from) Damian Lewis as he did spend a chunk of his life in the UK (and basically still lives there...right)....and Bentley is still a product of the UK.

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HIGHLIGHT:

EXT. ORANGE GROVE - DAY

CHARLIE and TED stand between a tractor (that has its rear wheel as tall as both of them) and CHARLIE'S BENTLEY.

CHARLIE You want to drive the tractor.

TED You know, I, uh, I sort of do.

CHARLIE fishes the keys out of his pocket. TED grins and is off.

CHARLIE gets out of the way while TED climbs the cab and takes the driver's seat.

CHARLIE Hey, Ted.

TED Yeah.

CHARLIE Exactly where are the oranges?

CHARLIE keeps walking, his back to the tractor. TED fiddles with the controls.

TED Oh, they're out of season in this part of California for another six months. You in a rush?

The tractor grumbles to life and starts reversing.

CHARLIE Actually, no.

TED Whoa. Hey, Hey!

CHARLIE I'm not.

TED continues panicking in the background as CHARLIE surveys the land. The tractor continues to reverse.

TED Whoa, Whoa!

Soon enough....we are reminded why he's panicking. CHARLIE'S BENTLEY comes into view...and the tractor eases towards it.

TED Whoa, whoa! This is not forward! That's not forward! This is not forward!

CRUNCH! The rear wheels of the tractor start rolling onto the Bentley's bonnet. But it eventually stops, just shy of crushing the windshield.

CHARLIE glances behind him.

TED Oh, God, that's bad. I'm sorry.

CHARLIE looks out again to the horizon, not an ounce of worry after what just happened.

TED Oh, God. I'm very sorry, Charlie.

CHARLIE smiles and bites into an apple. TED desperately tries to wrangle the tractor off the vehicle.

TED I will---

FADE OUT

END CREDITS

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My verdict of the episode: 6/10

Link to the timestamp commentary: None

[tetrakys]

About Ikemen Vampire...

I finally got around to do the Ikemen Vampire first impressions post no one asked for, but I said I would do.

I’ve had the app on my phone for a while now, I mostly login and do the minigame to pile up on points and diamonds, but I’ve also played the butler event and a few chapters of Napoleon’s route.

FYI I only red a couple of spoilers on one route, so I’m jumping into this completely blind. Here we go.

The Premise:

A bunch of famous men from history turned vampires all living in the same mansion during a specific time in the past. On one side this is kinda interesting, on the other I know too much about many of these people (including their real aspect) to not face-palm every time I read their names, that’s why it took me so long to start this game. I knew it would need some getting used to it, and I have to admit I still find it strange at times. But well...

MC is, at least for now, the typical japanese otome game MC, so nothing exciting here, but maybe she will get gutsier moving forward? One can only hope. At least I like her love for travelling and she seems to know several languages.

Anyway if I’d been in her place, spending one month in the past with all these famous historical figures around, like hell I would’ve accepted to be a maid. I would’ve spent the whole time exploring and interviewing, I would’ve cut a deal with Le Comte, I’m sure he would’ve said yes. 

Anyway, let’s get to the guys, knowing that I’m an otome hoe and of course the plan is to get with all them (except maybe one). Team harem always for the win.

Ei fu.   Siccome immobile, Dato il mortal sospiro, Stette la spoglia immemore Orba di tanto spiro, Così percossa, attonita5 La terra al nunzio sta, ...

99% of the people reading won’t know what this is about. It’s one of the most important italian poems ever, it was written to celebrate Napoleon Bonaparte, it’s called Il Cinque Maggio (the date of Napoleon’s death... or in this case... resurrection as a vampire?). It’s huge, 108 verses, and I had to learn the whole thing by memory in school. It was so painful that it stuck with me to this day. That’s why I have a sort of love/hate relationship with the man.

But I decided to start with him for two reasons: I find this version of him hot and mysterious and I know his sexy scene is free so... who am I to turn down sexy times for free??

His back story of being half human half vampire is interesting and I am curious to see where this is going. I’m also curios to see how much cybird is sticking to history because the emperor had an interesting life to say the least. Including two wives, which I don’t want to think about because I am extremely jealous of all my otome boyfriends so I hope they are going to ignore this detail.

Yeah... no... this is so wrong... the guy died in exile in St Elena after failing to get his power back, speculations say that maybe he was even poisoned. It wasn’t a peaceful death and definitely he had regrets. 

I feel like I am putting too much thought into this and I should take the game as if these are just random people.

Anyway, Napoleon the character has a really pretty design, I love his eyes and his mysterious aura, and he looks like the honorable knight type. I hope he has also a kinky side because that’s how I roll and too good is not exactly my thing. He said he’s not attracted to MC pfff.... bullshit of course. We’ll see.

I don’t have much to say about Mozart because I’ve seen very little of him. I like his design, he seems to be the cold and slightly asshole type which I generally like, but too cold could put me off. If they’re going for any realism at all there could maybe be some daddy issues in his route?

This was the route that originally interested me the most because Leonardo was a genius and he’s the closest to home. Let’s ignore the fact that people keep using Da Vinci as if it was his surname WHICH IS NOT ,“da” means “from” and “Vinci” is a town, Leonardo from Vinci, he didn’t have a surname because he was a natural son. But other than that, there are two main points that make me consider skipping his route altogether. 

First of all, this is the only spoiler I have about the game, I know this story is sad whatever the ending, and I don’t do sad in my escapism. I only want happy endings, people may not agree but that’s my personal philosophy for playing these games.

Second, that “cara mia” triggers my rage every time I read it. As I explained in another post, “cara mia” is paternalistic and kinda offensive, “mia cara” is the sweet, caring one. The writers picked the wrong one and it’s soooo annoying to read. Especially because he repeats it quite a lot.

So, I’m not 100% sure yet, but this might be the first time in my history as an otome-player that I skip a route.

This. Adorable. Rascal. He might be the second route I play after Napoleon because I can’t wait to banter with this guy (if MC’s personality allows it). 

He seems as smart as his real counter-part and I like it.

I find a little annoying that he speaks like someone pretending to be British, it seems like the writers tried too hard, but what he says is kinda hilarious and I want him to (try to) bite me 👀

I assume they didn’t go completely with the realistic route here, otherwise Vincent should be a little coo coo, but the guy was sensitive and fragile and it seems that this was somehow preserved in the character. He has both ears though, so he probably isn’t completely suicidal. 

However he seems the totally sugary sweet type which is really not my thing. But I also heard he has one of the hottest sexy scenes in the game so colour me intrigued 👀

THIS! This is my man! I don’t know why I always fall for the tsundere, it’s not like I’m a masochist and like to be mistreated, but I like the bantering and I hope that MC is going to be cool enough to allow me to reply to him in tone. I really want to fight with him! 👀

Also, he’s sexy, and the fact that I know absolutely nothing about him, helps me not feeling annoyed by whatever it has been done to the character. 

I don’t know what to expect from his route. Does he have a brother complex? Is he jealous because his brother is a genius and he was a simple merchant? Why were they both turned? So many questions. Give me this beautiful asshole’s route soon cybird!

I know nothing about him too, but there’s something in him that irks me. He has a sort of paternalistic attitude, too many compliments, too polite... Also, that kimono has a strange fit.

On the positive side he seems protective and I like his quirkiness, so we’ll see.

Newton is the one that, together with Leonardo, interested me the most for pure principle. And, in this case, I am quite satisfied. I like his aesthetics and personality-wise he seems similar to Mozart, quiet, distant type. We’ll see.

I keep wondering why they turned a female character male, they could’ve added a wlw route. Anyway, I won’t complain because look-wise I like him the most out of everyone. The eye patch intrigues me, I like his style and I find him really beautiful. I know though that his route is the least sexy and that’s a bummer. I am curious about him and his route and wonder if he also hears voices in his head.

In this case I’m pretty sure we’re far away from the real person. William the character is the yandere of the group and even the other vampires seem a little preoccupied by him. I wonder if his route is maybe a little dangerous, I’m intrigued.

Mmm... I know I’m going to attract the disappointment of his many fans but I don’t like Saint-Germain. He’s handsome yes, but the one thing I hate in LIs is fakeness and duplicity, and I feel it with every bone in my body this guy is a liar. He emanates the same vibes as Lucien and Leiftan. There’s so much you’re hiding Comte, and you don’t fool me one bit! Also, his colour palette is too yellow for my tastes.

Sebastian is just boring to me. I don’t know.... he looks and sounds so plain. I hope there is some big mystery behind and that he will show more personality because at the moment he’s just meh. Also he can’t be just a simple, unknown human there must be something else (I hope).

So, currently, the characters who interest me are: Theo, Arthur, Isaac, Napoleon, Jean, William, Wolfgang 

While Vincent, Sebastian, Dazai, Leonardo and Comte all follow at the back of the queue.

Let’s see after a couple of months of playing if my opinions change.

And btw I’ve seen the three new vampires and they look so much cooler than all the main ones combined! I can’t wait for their routes to come out.

[taeguboi]

BTS HC: Jikook

...announcing they're in a relationship

"Could i please have either a bts reaction for jikook announcing that thyre a couple or a headcanon thing with the bullet points like you have for some other ships? 😊"

I think this one might be a bit longer than the other ships hahaha so I might try in future for some more in depth ones. Could be a good feature on the blog idk.

I continue to thank my new followers despite my shitty post rate 😂❤ ❤ ❤ I’m doing my best to do requests throughout the day and everything is queued for today [Sat 8 Sept]

I should also note that everything I write is purely fictional and there are mentions of unwanted attention and personal issues further down in the headcanon so I’m sorry if this story line doesn’t become what you wanted / expected at a certain point

for years, fans have shipped members

there's vmin, 2seok, kookie monster...

but there was one ship

they were right about all along

that's right

JIKOOK

the other boys didn't know

not even the management knew

you get it, no one knew but them

and it gets to this one year mark

and they're like

"are we leaving this a bit long now to speak up?"

because they've had such a good year

despite having to hide the feelings

they've had their little hotel room dates

gone sightseeing and purposely paired up

short and sweet backstage kisses

tae caught them just once

but they brushed it off

"yeah it's a new ritual for good luck"

so of course tae plants one on each of them

then he walks away

and jikook just giggle to themselves

and from that day, they look back

and consider telling tae first

since although he brushed it off as nothing

he has to be at least a little suspicious, right?

"WHAAAAA???"

okay wrong

but he's pleased for them

they were going to tell the others shortly after

but they're enjoying to secrecy of it all

it's fun to sneak around

until big man joon spots something

he's walking quietly down the hotel corridor

doesn't wanna wake anyone up

but he must be walking to quietly

"that's cute" he thinks

as he spots a distant couple making out outside one of the rooms

but then he gets closer

and closer

"holy fuck, guys! what are you doing??!"

and they're like

"what are you doing??"

but joon comes around

he's happy if they're happy

but he doesn't know that tae knows

and vice versa

and this charade continues

that nothing is going on

even though half the band know now

so Joon is trying his best

getting them paired up

for most things

but Tae is also sneaking in

"yo guys I got you tickets for that film"

"I'm taking the others out for a drink or two"

*wink*

and he whisks away into the night

"Yeah they aren't feeling up to it. They're tired"

and now Sugs is having none of it

so he feigns tiredness too

"I'm off back "

...to sneak into their hotel room

what are they up to?

*knock knock*

no answer

Hmmmmmm

so he gives up

just as jikook are making their way back from their cinema date

"I thought you guys were tired..."

"...and why are you so formally dressed?"

Jimin sighs

there's no excuse for this one

"They're suit pyjamas!" panics kook

*disapproving look from sugs*

"Fine... we wanted to go out" admits Jimin

"But we already offered to go out" challenges sugs

"No no, we mean like... we wanted to go out... just the two of us"

Jimin snakes an arm around kooks waist

"Ah, I see"

so now suga, rm and v know

but still none of them know the others know

that leaves 2seok to find out

"Jin! Let's visit Kookie and Chim!"

*knock knock knock*

"Uh... who is it?"

"Hobi and Jinnieeee! Let us in!"

"Uh... just a sec"

Huh?

everyone always gets let in straight away

"What's the hold up???"

"Uh... Jungkook's naked"

and 2seok just cling on to each other for dear life

Jikook don't know if that means they were exposed that night

but now the entire band are treading on egg shells

2seok don't knock on their door anymore

Tae is still helping them have dates

Oh and btw Jin saw that bite on Jimin’s shoulder

that one day he had a really baggy sweater on

so rip jimin

“What’s that?”

“What’s what?”....

*awkward pause for Chim to realize*

*pulls jumper over shoulder*

“Oh”

* cue slight lecture from Jin*

“Do you know what this could mean?”

etc

But Jimin talks him round 

with a few simple words

“But I love him”

So Jin is like

“Ah fair enough”

The public have to wait 

a looooong time

Jikook debate and consider coming out

especially with all the Holland shiz

“yeah but everyone seems to be accepting him”

“no kook, we can’t risk it yet”

“why?”

“fans will think we aren’t focusing on our careers”

“hmm true”

so they continue to stay silent

for 5 years

yes, 5 whole years

then one day

unfortunately a scandal is what exposes them

there’s speculation

rumours

all from this one picture 

a recent sasaeng fan* took

idk let’s just say they were fed up of not being noticed

and then they see upon the balcony of a hotel

jikook just talking

that’s pretty normal

but this fan just so happened to capture that moment of them kissing

and posts it all over their social media

of course that gets through to bigger news channels

they look the discussion up online

and whilst there’s mostly positivity at the idea of jikook

there’s this one forum

that halts them completely

until they find out somehow that it is multiple accounts made by the same ‘fan’ that took the pic

so maybe there would be no problem with this 

so rather than continue to have other sources of media giving them a voice

they have their own and make a public statement

it’s scary

it’s tense

but they get through it

and bts are even bigger now

they completely pull it off

and more and more idols have already come out or debuted making sure any following fully well knows of their sexuality

but the jikook announcement changes everything

and it’s not only thanks to that

but it’s thanks to everything the whole band have done so far

idols are coming out about mental health problems

they’re opening up about the harsh realities of becoming and idol

the world of south korean music changes

and everyone is digging the jikook

fan fiction rises through the roof lmao

and some people still write about separate jimin and kook pairings

but it’s hard to unsee the jikook hahaha

the world had been cleansed

everyone feels radiant

all is great

and jikook lived happily ever after

*sasaeng fan is over-obsessive about an idol so much so that they invade that idol’s privacy for the sake of getting their attention

I hope this hc was okay guys... unfortunately requests are still closed for now because of how full my inbox has been for like the past year so I’m catching up with that. But my goal is to clear the inbox and complete your requests one by one!

[bvotw]

An unexpected turn to a goodbye summer party

It was the last Saturday of Summer break and McCall's pack decided that the Summer couldn't be over without a proper celebration. As Melissa was working the night shift, Scott had managed to host a small gathering of friends. But as we know, every high school small gathering ends up in a huge party in which you don't know more than 60% of the people present. That's just how things go.

''So this is how it feels..'' Malia noted. She was sitting in the steps of the front porch and for the first time, she was feeling the effects of a substance purely consumed to the sole purpose of personal enjoyment.

''Yeah it is, isn't it great?'' Isaac responded with a smile. He had just returned to Beacon Hills. He had heard all about the Dread Doctors and Chimaeras and realised that the decision of becoming an Omega hadn't been profitable to anyone. He had lost power, and Scott had needed him more than ever. However, had he really got past the fact that his girlfriend had died in Scott's arms? You know what they had, you always knew Isaac. Stop thinking about it! He would find out. Right now, he was sharing with Malia the wonders some molly can do to werewolves.

''How did you find out about this magic?'' Malia was completely stoned.

''Well, I met a fellow wolf, we exchanged experiences, I ended up learning that molly works wonder on us!'' Isaac laughed and got up to enter Scott's house. '' I must go and find Scott, he has to try this shit'', he shouted as he disappeared in the sea of people who somehow found about the party.

Fun to think about, right? Who would say, in the beginning of the sophomore year, pre bite, that Scott McCall, that loser guy that no one really knew, couldn't play lacrosse and whose sexuality was overly debated due to his proximity to Stiles, would be hosting the party of the Summer. How things change. Who would say that Stiles would now be seen as one of the popular kids and would be dating his 5ft 3, strawberry blond, green eyed dream beauty? Life was good. But they knew it wouldn't last. In Beacon Hills, it never lasted. At least, not for long.

''Scott?'' Isaac yelled for the fifth time. ''Dude, are you ok? SCOTT!?''

''Uh..Wha.. Sorry Isaac, I was completely out'' he smiled. He knew Isaac may have not forgiven him yet by the Allison scene, but he truly hoped one day he would. Isaac was a good friend, and a strong member of his pack. ''I was just thinking about how great things have been this Summer and something Deaton said the other day, but I wanna forget about that now, I want to have fun. You said You had a little somethin' for me to try?''

''First, I'm very proud of you, Mama's Boy! Trying molly? A day to remember!'' Isaac mocked him '' But yeah, I gave three tabs to Malia, it worked. I think five or six for you? That's what I take as well.''

''Well fuck it. Look at Stiles and Lydia. They just drank beer, how is that even possible?'', Stiles and Lydia were making out in the kitchen, completely unaware of the circumstances around them. ''Gimme just a moment to save them from lifelong video proof of the effect alcohol can have in you, I'll meet you outside?'' And he left without waiting for an answer, because he knew Isaac would just do what he said.

''So, i just take it like a usual tab? Swallow it with water?'' Scott asked as soon as he was outside, next to Isaac and Malia.

''I fond that it works better that way, yes'' Isaac responded, passing him a bottle of water.

''I find it to work marvellously'' said a very amused Malia, ''Please join me Scotty!''

''Well fuck it then'' Scott mumbled while swallowing the tabs. ''What now?''

''Now you enjoy the night, handsome!'' Malia exclaimed.

Firstly, he thought that it wouldn't work. That his body would just cure the high as it seemed to cure everything physical. But then it hit him. Fuck, every sensation and feeling were increased exponentially. As was his awareness of the scene around him. He wanted to scream, he wanted to dance and he wanted to live.

The party went by like any party does. People danced, people made out in random places, some random guy puked in the sink and basically everyone was having fun. Scott wondered where Stiles and Lydia were, but thinking about the stories Stiles had told him, they wouldn't want to be disturbed. He looked around to try and find someone familiar and saw Malia and Isaac waving and calling him to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with the group they were in and he joined.

''As the host, you should have the honours'', a random girl said. Jennifer? Amber? Who knows. ''C'mon McCall'' Scott spined the bottle and it pointed to Malia.

Nop, nop, I gotta get out of here. I could be there with her in a normal circumstance. With this in my system I just can't control myself. Fuck, what do I do?

''Get up Scott, gimme the best seven minutes of my life'' Malia mocked him

''Yeah sure..'' he said, with the yellowest smile possible.

They entered the room and heard Isaac starting the clock.

''If I weren't Malia right know, what would you do to me, handsome?'' Malia asked, provokingly.

''Difficult question, depends on what ''not Malia'' was up to.'' He said with a smirk

''What if she was up to a little something?'' Malia tried him. She had been trying him for the past two weeks, but his loyalty to Stiles was unbreakable. She didn't want a relationship, but she wanted to experience the lust of an Alpha, she sensed this guy was the big deal. Am I smelling lust from you Scott? Naa.. I'm imagining. Or am I not?

''Well, then I'd give her a little taste, and then find a way to finish what we had started someplace else.'' I'm I really doing this? Could her heartbeat be quicker? Somehow he could sense that her temperature was rising and he knew what it meant. She wants me as well.

''Hmmm, a little taste? I wonder..'' She was interrupted by his lips. Surprisingly soft, yet increasingly intense. She wanted to moan, but she knew there were a dozen people outside and she could live without them knowing everything that was happening.

''Something like this, you know? Something that would make her want more'' He whispered as he was planting soft kisses down her neck and jaw. ''Something that'd leave her needing more'' He was now licking and sucking her ear. ''Something that would make her beg for more'' he breathed against the soft spot behind her ear, as he found it and she moaned softly, but loud enough for Isaac to have listened. He found out he couldn't care less.

''Door is opening in 10.. 9.. 8'' Isaac was doing the countdown.

''Fuck Scott!'' She said as she tried desperately to comb her hair with fingers. How the fuck am I this wet?

'''3.. 2.. 1!'' Isaac exclaimed as he opened the room's door, revealing a very blushed Malia and a grinning Scott. What happened there was left to speculation to everyone but Isaac who despite not knowing the details (and not wanting to) knew something had happened.

''So.. who's next?'' Scott asked, as if nothing had happened. Fuck, I'm getting hard, I have to get out of this game as soon as possible. But we were the first ones to go, everyone will know what we went up to do.

''Since I'm the honorary host, me!'' Isaac spinnd the bottle and it pointed to a shy girl, that seemed pretty annoyed by being there. ''Oh, Sarah, would you give me the pleasure of your company?''

''Talking about pleasure..'' Scott whispered in Malia's ear. He was enjoying teasing her and was closely listening to her heartbeat and catching her emotions to see how far he could go. He started touching her leg, close to the hem of her skirt, but not enough to touch it. Oh my God, I can smell her wetness. Fuck, I can't get hard here.

''Scott, stop..'' Or don't, never stop, just touch me, I beg you.

'''Funny how your mouth says one thing, but I can smell your lust increasing'' He whispered as he brushed her right nipple, that was well obvious through the thin fabric of her crop top and her bikini top. ''You know, I could torture you here for the rest of the game but I have to go and get another keg. I think you have to go check on Lydia as soon as I return with the keg, and I will have to go change my shirt because I will get beer all over it when opening it.'' He winked at her and returned his hand to her leg, drawing light eights with his fingers and feeling goosebumps forming on her skin.

Malia nodded and Scott left to go and get a new keg with Danny. As he was leaving, Isaac's time was up and he seated next to Malia, complaining about what had happened, or more specifically what had not ''I mean, I wasn't expecting to fuck her there, but I was expecting a little action. She wanted Jennifer there with her, how great. What about you and Scott?'' Isaac asked grinning. ''Don't bother lying, I know something happened, and worry not, I won't tell Stiles. Where is Scott btw?''

''He went to get a new keg'' she explained, and saw Scott carrying the new keg inside. Is it just me, or that guy gets hotter by the minute? Brushing the thought, she told Isaac she was going to check on Lydia since she was completely trashed some hours ago, and went upstairs to Scott's bedroom to wait for him. Am I really doing this? Are we really doing this? Fuck, how can someone have this effect on me? How can.. Her thought was interrupted by a blow in her neck, and she caught his scent. As she turned to him, he locked the door and she kissed him. The kiss was not soft as their previous one, but a more urgent one.

Scott broke Malia's kiss and looked at her, only not with the usual sweetness that was so characteristic of his brown eyes. This look was a hungry one, in a sense that nothing had to do with food. Those eyes were full of desire and Malia almost moaned from the sight. Right there, Scott grabbed her arms and spun her around, so that her ass was in contact with his crotch. He started kissing her neck, sucking her ear and licking all of that erogenous zone while Malia stopped worrying about being heard and started letting some moans escape. ''You know Malia.. I don't think that we should wake Stiles and Lydia up. I think you can do better, don't you?''

''Hm hm, I believe I can, but who will assure you I'm enjoying your efforts?'' she smirked at herself. His hands were all over her. All over, except the specific spots she wanted them to be. They would massage her belly but wouldn't touch the waistband of her skirt. They wouldn't also go as high as the bottom of her bikini top. He would touch her arms and her hair and even her legs but she was getting anxious and frustrated. She was getting impatient.

''Oh, but I do. I can hear your increasing heart rate. I can sense how wet you are. I can smell how much you want me. But I also can smell your growing frustration.'' As he was talking, his hands would get closer and closer to where she wanted them, but they would quickly go away again. ''The thing is, and what I can't catch the scent to, how much do you want me? And how?'' He started biting her neck softly, and with each bite Malia would get even more aroused, something she could not believe to be possible at this point.

''I want... I want you to touch me everywhere.'' She managed to say through her heavy breathing. How can he even put me in such state?

''Oh, you mean like this?'' His finger lightly brushed over her nipple that was even more visible than it had been downstairs. As soon as he did, she couldn't control her moan. This made Scott proud of himself. He knew the effect he was having on her and he was enjoying every moment. But he also knew Malia was very short tempered, he had to procede carefully if he didn't want to turn what was to be the hottest sex of his life into a werewolf vs werecoyote fight.

''You know what I mean Scott, Jesus!'' What are you doing? Do I have to beg? How can he make me moan by brushing my nipple? I always thought I couldn't get horny by touching my tits.. ''Touch all of me Scott, please!''

''Should I though? Maybe you have to be more specific..'' He brushed the other nipple while sucking on her neck. He decided to give her a bit more, the begging would be left for later. He started taking her crop top and the top of her bikini off, making sure his hands touched her bare skin as little as possible. His kisses, bites and licks were descending on her spine and she was experiencing so many sensations that even the surprisingly cool air in her recently bare nipples was causing a turning on sensation.

''Scott, I've asked you, touch my breasts.'' Why are you making me get frustrated wolf boy? Her hands were on his hair and she closed them slightly to express her feelings.

''Oh, ok. Like this?'' He stopped his mouth work only to talk, but his hands were driven to her breasts as soon as she spoke. He put each palm on each boob and squeezed them, and then with his thumb and index finger, he started lightly pinching each nipple. ''Or like this?''

Malia was completely shocked at the sensation and instinctively started grinding her ass to his crotch. Scott was changing between squeezing and pinching, circling and massaging and she was getting close. And then she felt it. Against her ass, his erection was getting tired of disguising itself, it wanted to be freed. So she intensified her hip movement, until Scott took his right hand out of her right breast, continuing his work on the left and put it on her hip to stop her movement.

''You want to cum, don't you? So why won't you, Malia?'' And as he was speaking, he turned her around and started alternating between licking and sucking one breast and pinching and massaging the other. He could sense she was close. So close.

''Scott, I'm cumming, oh my god, don't stop Scott, I'm gonna..'' Her moans were interrupted by Scott's two fingers that she willingly sucked. And then the wave came, and Malia came hard, sucking on Scott's fingers. Fuck, fuck, fuck I am having this dick inside me, whatever it takes.

''Fuck Malia, you're so hot.'' He stand again, finally appreciating the sight before his eyes. He had seen her naked in some occasions, but never from this perspective. He wanted to taste every bit of this girl and god, the scent of her juices was filling the room and couldn't be ignored for long. ''This, this is what happens when you tell me what you want. But from now on, please be a bit more specific, I had to improvise a bit.'' he teased her.

''I must say you made quite an improvisation, Scotty.'' she said, still a bit out of breath. ''But I feel that you are too dressed up, don't you think?'' the tone of her voice was a mixture of mischief and challenge. She pushed him to his bed and walked towards him only with her skirt on. A vision Scott wouldn't want to get out of his mind in any near future. ''I feel like you are too cloistered to truly enjoy this moment.'' He was sat at the end of his bed, his dominant self completely covered by how surprised he was by what was happening. ''I don't even think this shirt goes with those shorts anyway'' she provoked him, as she took his shirt off. Jesus, I can't do anything more before tasting, touching and observing all this piece of sin.

''Malia..'' they shared a look and she begun touching his abs, licking his chest and teasing his nipples with little bites. Se pushed him backwards so he would be supported by his elbows. ''Malia, fuck...'' he groaned. Then, he made an attempt to stop her and take control yet again, but she was also fast.

''Ah, don't even think about it, you should know I get what I want.'' She confronted him, leaving Scott with an incredulous look on his face. Where did this determination come from? I've only given a blowjob once in my life, he's going to hate it. She started unbuckling his belt and undoing the zipper of his shorts and the reality of the situation took control over her. She had no idea what she was doing, she was going to ruin it for Scott, who had given her one of the best orgasms of her life only by touching her tits. Stop overthinking Malia, carry on, he deserves it. She pulled the waistband of his shorts in a failed attempt to get them off and Scott raised his butt from the bed to help the process. As she was helping him getting rid of them, she had an idea. If he was so eager in getting me frustrated and not giving me what e expected, I'll just do the same.

Scott just watched Malia going through some thinking process and found it adorable. Just suck it Malia.. I'm so hard for you, please suck it, please. But she didn't attend to his plead. Instead, she positioned herself in the cowgirl position, one leg at each of Scott's sides and started kissing him again. She was holding his head, her hands going through his hair as she started grinding her pelvis in his. Her skirt was short and flowy and it positioned itself as if to hid the situation that was driving them both crazy. Scott groaned in her mouth. And put both his hands to her ass.

After some time, Malia left her spot on Scott's lap and went back to the floor and kneeled down in front of him, her face levelled with his crotch. Fuck, I'm so wet that his briefs are soaked. She put her palm against his bulge and he groaned.

''Malia, if you are not comfortable doing anything, you don't have to do it, you know that, right?'' He reassured her, she looked a bit confused and like she had no clue what she would do next.

''But I want to Scott. I want you and I want to get you in my mouth. I'm not really an expert..'' Fuck, what have you done, you ruined it.

'''If you really want to, maybe I can tell you what I want?'' Scott said calmly. ''But I trust you to do you, just go at your own pace.''

Malia touched his dick again, softly brushing it through the fabric and watched his face. Yeah, not bad so far. So she put her hand inside his briefs and felt her first real scare of the night. Scott's dick was bigger than Stiles'. Fuck, if I couldn't get Stiles completely in my mouth, this is going to be a disaster. But she ignored the thought. She pulled it out and started stroking his length while Scott took the briefs off completely, always mantaining eye contact. She then lowered her head, not breaking the eye contact and planted a kiss on his tip. Then she started planting soft kisses down his dick until she reached his balls and licked all the way to the tip again. She decided to take the tip inside her mouth, sucking on it, and got an immense relief when Scott closed his eyes shut. Well, maybe I can do this after all. She started slowly bobbing on his cock, always stroking it with her hand and suctioning on it. As she felt more comfortable, she would take more and more of him in her mouth.

''Maybe spit on it, it'll lubricate and i'll make it easier for you..' he asked while breathing heavily and she did as she was asked. '' Fuck Malia, you're doing so great'' he groaned as he put his left hand on her head. This girl is getting it rough afterwards. He was getting close. So, so close. It was a combination of everything since downstairs, being her helplessness before, while he was touching her and the scent of her surprisingly increasing arousal the main factors. Then he looked at her and realised she was grinding her own leg, stimulating herself and that did it for him. ''I'm going to cum Malia, oh fuck, fuck....''

She wasn't sure if she wanted to swallow his cum, so she instinctively took him out of her mouth and jerked him off, making him release all over her breasts. Shit, do I look like a porn star?

''Someday, you'll explain me what you were worried about... but not now because you might as well be the hottest sight my eye has caught in 17 years.'' Scott returned to his dominant self, now a completely naked one. He pinched her nipple and collected some of his cum with his finger putting it in Malia's mouth, which she sucked. ''If you ever wondered, that's how it tastes, if you want to swallow someday. I'll never ask you to, though.'' Scott helped her to her feet and in a fraction of a second, they had switched places. He went to the bathroom and cleaned himself, giving her another towel ''Clean your tits Malia, I want to watch you doing it'' Jesus, I want to fuck you raw Malia.. too bad birth control doesn't even work on you. '''Don't you think those panties are completely soaked? I mean, they soaked my briefs a while ago..'' as he was speaking, he was getting rid of your skirt and your panties.

''Scott, please. I'm so turned on. I'm so wet for you, I want your touch, please.'' She whimpered. Just eat me out, lick me until there's no more left. Bury your face in my pussy. She didn't want to say these words, but she also knew he would do all in his power to make her do so.

Scott started licking, kissing, biting and sucking every inch of her lower stomach, while pinching her nipples now and then. ''Like this?'' he knew he was driving her insane and he could see her pussy shining with her juices. Control Scott, control. In due time you'll do what you really want to do. So he got closer. Her scent was driving him crazy, and he could feel his dick coming to life yet again.

''C'mon you know what I mean!'' she exclaimed frustrated

''You know what you have to do to get what you want...'' he said, enjoying her frustrated look. He was using all of his power of control to stop him from putting two fingers inside her.

''Fucking eat me out, lick me until there's no more left, bury your handsome face in my pussy and make me cum'' she exclaimed, sick of waiting. WHAT HAVE I JUST SAID, oh my god.

''Oh, say no more, but you could have asked nicer though.'' he grinned at her, before blowing at her belly button and starting to descend his sucking. As he reached her slit, she parted her legs to give him more access and he used his index and middle finger to massage her clit, action which made her moan. Scott started kissing her groin, licking both sides, and the the external folds, never stoping the pinching and the circling around her bud. He then started licking her entrance, entering just a bit with his tongue and then stopped his fingers, moved them to Malia's entrance and inserted his two fingers inside her, curling them and make her moan more frantically. She can't make so much noise.. someone will interrupt us and I'm hard as fuck.. ''Malia, suck on your fingers for me, will ya?''.

Malia couldn't control herself, and when he had started fingering her, her heart almost had stoped. Now Scott had added his tongue work around her clit to his finger game and he was also sucking her bud and giving it light very faint bites. Oh shit, I want to enjoy this for as long as it lasts but I just can't avoid it much longer. How can he do this to me? Did my body have all this places hidden or his simply HIS touch doing the job? ''Scott, I can't hold it much longer, I'm going...to.. cuuum'' Oh shit!

''So don't... that's right'' he watched amazed as she came around his fingers, while he was circling her clit with his thumb. Jesus, how am I this hard again? Fucking Malia. While she was still regaining her breath, he raised her from the bed and placed her head in his pillow, kissing her. He supported himself with one arm, and caressed her face with the other. ''What will you have me do?'' he asked provokingly while putting on a condom.

''Fuck me. I beg you to fuck me. I beg you to fuck me so rough I won't be able to walk straight for several hours. I beg you to pound me as hard as you can.'' If this won't work, what will.

''Now this is talking, my dear'' and has he said, he grabbed her ankles and put one on each of his shoulders. Then, he positioned himself at her entrance, looked at Malia, which was with her head up, biting her lip, and entered her seeing how much of him she could take. She gasped and he started thrusting slowly at first, until she took him all, and then he increased his pace, thrusting harder as well. ''You feel so good Malia, fuck''.

With each thrust, Malia found herself wanting more and more. Another orgasm was building up inside her and she started playing with her nipples, much to replicate what Scott was doing before, and the sensation was wonderful. How can he do this so right?  ''Scott, that's so good''

Scott found himself getting too excited and decided to chance tactics. He entered her completely and stoped, hugged her and rolled over, getting her on top. If I let her ride me, I'll come now....fuck, too late.

Malia got the hint and started riding him, going up and down on his length, stoping now and then and circling her hips. They were looking at each other's eyes and the moment got too intense for Scott, so he started sucking on her nipples. ''Scott, I'm cuming, I can't control it this time... it's.. too ... intense'' You please shut my mouth, I'm going to scream.

Somehow he managed to put three fingers in her mouth, which she sucked while groaning. He was feeling her pussy walls clenching around his dick and he knew how he wanted to finish. He took his dick out, picked up a trembling Malia and laid her on her stomach. He spread her butt cheeks to give him access and positioned himself at her vagina. As he entered her, he closed her legs and put his hand behind her, pressing and pinching her clit as he started thrusting. Now that she was used to his size, he could thrust harder, which he did. She was moaning and he let her taste herself, by giving her his fingers to suck. ''Malia, I'm coming...''

''Just don't stop, please... Scott... Fuck Scott...''

Scott groaned as he came and soon after, he felt her coming around him. He gave themselves a moment to catch their breath before getting out of her and removing the condom. He went to clean himself up and she joined him in the bathroom.

''Jesus Scott. I hate you.'' She punched his arm jokingly. ''You can't have sex like this and then don't want to do it again. Like all the time''

''Hmm, why would we only do this once? This was hot.'' He said confused

''Well, mainly because I've dated Stiles.. But I guess we just have to tell him?''

''Malia... he knows you like me. He told me the other day. And he is ok with it. He is not ok, but he is with Lydia now and he knows he can't control your love life anymore'' Scott explained.

''So.. you told him you liked me back?

''Not by those words, I mean, we were playing fuck, marry, kill... But yeah, I told him I was interested.''

''Fuck you.. got your wish?'' she asked, visibly annoyed.

''No.. this was better than I could ever imagine.''

''Idiot, let's go downstairs? The music still on, Isaac is never going to shut up about this, will he?

''No.. I don't think he will'' Scott smiled, this time with all the sweetness in his look, and scratched his head as he took her hand with the other.

[poipoi1912]

Barba Theories Part 2

(i.e. a looooooong rundown of your theories, thank you for sending them <33333)

To recap, here is the original teaser/spoiler, and here are my original theories/Part 1:

professional misconduct for political gain

a straight-up political/work scandal 

an inappropriate personal relationship

financial misconduct 

dick pics on his iPhone 

membership to the Pirate Booty Treasure Chest  

Here are some of the responses I got (some via replies, some via reblogs, and some via asks):

Personal Secret

First of all, many of you agreed it’ll be the Pirate Booty thing, which, d’oh. But is that really a secret?

Secondly, the tags used by @lambnoire speak to me:

#barba's secret is giving me anxiety tho #idk what im going to do if they compromise his morality as a character

Thirdly, most of you feel it will be a personal secret. Which might be wishful thinking, because we all thirst for more details about Barba’s personal life:

sunshine-and-the-catsuit answered: I’m kinda hoping for the relationship thing, personally. Maybe he kept emails that he shouldn’t have…or something like that. Or hid information he shouldn’t have..to help a friend.

I feel this might be accurate. Barba bending the rules (more on that below) for a lover or a friend (say, Alex Munoz or Eddie etc), out of loyalty. That would compromise him somewhat, but his motives would still be relatively pure. Depending on the rule/law he broke, of course.

revolutionarynerd answered: A sexual secret. Even in NYC a bisexual ADA for instance would raise eyebrows. My money is on Barba’s personal private life getting spread all over the news/internets in the course of a hacking operation targeting someone higher up.

@leaper182​ said: That's a really good point. Hmm. I wonder if maybe Rafael had an affair with a politician who's married or something. I can't see Rafael himself being in the closet -- he comes across more as someone who doesn't advertise that he's bisexual, but he wouldn't deny it if he were asked point-blank about it either. But maybe if he made the mistake of having an affair with a married man or something, and it's this big ~shocker~ because this guy was all about straight marriage or something...? Hmmm. :\            

an anon who likes to toy with my emotions said: Barba theories/plot bunnies; 1. It's a revenge porn ep and when the suspect('s allies) find out Barba is prosecuting they threaten to leak sexts/nudes/dating profiles b/c they do not know who they are fucking with. Barba goes ahead, out for blood & maybe even using it to score some points in court. But then after sentencing we see his private self; humiliated, confidence wilting. Not helped by the media hi-lighting his humiliation rather than his victory.

Re; Barba being in the closet: there are valid arguments on both sides. If Barba is not straight (just for speculation purposes, of course, because we’ve never seen him with a romantic partner) it’s possible he would be out and proud, because he seems like he doesn’t give a fuck about what people think of him. But it’s also possible he’d be in a glass closet, just for the sake of his job (and/or his future aspirations. I touched on this in my fic Running, btw, which involves Barba running for the DA position). So he may, in fact, want his “secret” to stay a secret.

I must say, the idea of forcibly outing Barba is interesting, because it would allow for an intense but not necessarily preachy Very Special Episode, plus we might get some awesome Raul acting in the process, but would the current writers care enough to do that well?

The idea of a forbidden affair (with a woman or a man who’s married or otherwise problematic) seems a little more likely. Especially if it’s someone else at the DA’s office, and they both get exposed. Maybe Barba would choose to fall on his sword to protect his partner? This could give us some juicy moments for sure.

At any rate, I’d love to see Barba with a crack in his armor. Either because he feels exposed, or because he’s willing to be exposed to protect someone he cares about.

Professional Secret

its-bucky-bitches said: Hi just looking at you questions & answers about what the potential threat to Barba could be & I know a lot of people are saying it's a hack like they took something from his life & released it but what if he's being set up? Framed in some way? // Like what if the "secret" is something incriminating the hackers planted into Barbas computer and that the team find & then in the end use Barba to lure them out of hiding to capture/kill them?             

I love this. It might not necessarily fit with the concept of a “secret” (i.e. something Barba has been hiding) but I LOVE the idea of a frame-up. Barba would be indignant, and the squad would be supportive, they’d reassure him they don’t believe the hackers and they’ll do anything in their power to restore his reputation. That would give us a much needed glance into the SVU team dynamics, and it would show us just how much Liv and the squad value Barba. So it definitely won’t happen.

OH HELL NO Secret

an anon who likes to toy with my emotions said: (I'm paranoid it might be something like this) Barba commited/is accused of commiting a sex crime & evidence points to him doing so. If he did, he defends himself, saying he knows now it was wrong, it was long time ago, he's a different person, he's grown since then - but it alienates him from the SVU squad when they find out. The hacked info is used to discredit him and his work with SVU, & by extension squad themselves.            

NOPE.

I do like the idea of a secret which would compromise his work/the convictions he’s managed to get in his career, BUT NOPE. Like, you might be on the right track re; a secret which would paint him, the DA’s office and the squad in a bad light, and that’s the reason they all need to solve the case, if not make sure the secret stays hidden, but HELL NO.

More Hell No Secrets

an anon who likes to toy with my emotions A LOT said: Turns out he may have actually killed his Dad. 4. Barba is in fact innocent (excluding withholding of evidence) and it's information that somehow threatens his mother. Or else, shows him burying something harmful to his mother. 5. The hacking reveals something with his health - I'd bet on psychiatric, maaaybe rehab of some kind.       

On another show, I might appreciate topics like these being explored delicately. On SVU, nah. I would love a reference to Barba’s mother/family, but the fact the DA’s office is hacked, and that’s how Barba’s secret is revealed (via his work email, basically) probably means it would involve either Barba’s work or his personal life (because he may have foolishly used a work account for something non-work-related). 

Actual Secret

@webbgirl34​ has what is probably the most likely theory, though:

With the way this season has gone, I’d be willing to lay money it ends up being something to do with Liv. Like him covering up for something for her or him doing something on the gray side to help her out.

I can just see that happening. Barba will reach out to Liv, not to reveal a personal secret which might give us some insight into his character (God forbid!), but to tell her something she already knows. Like, “Hey, Liv, remember that time I helped you with (X)? It’s back to bite us in the ass. We need to fix this, or both we could both lose our jobs.”

Imagine if Barba’s secret involves, like, Johnny D (remember, lol?) i.e. Noah’s paternity, i.e. the time Barba was perfectly willing to bend the rules to help Olivia? Or, if the writers are unwilling to rewatch their own show and revisit actual past events, what if they come up with another instance of him possibly even breaking the law, just to help Liv?

Last season, we did see a Barba who followed the rules and ratted on Liv/Tucker, but arguably that was because he was mad/jealous. Or, because he really was that stringent about the law (lol). Maybe we’ll go back to rule-bending Barba? In a ret-conned way (since we won’t actually witness said rule-bending)? We’ll hear about a made up past incident, a plot contrivance, to better sel the “secret” angle?

Again, I can totally see this happening. I just hope it doesn’t. Even though it would likely be better than a potentially compromising, salacious and deeply personal secret.

Lastly, my own tags:

#omg now that i read the barba spoiler #i feel like it'll be totally anticlimactic #the da's office is hacked #so like barba's work email #watch as his secret is totally boring 

Fingers crossed it’s something which showcases Raul's talent.

[siliconwebx]

Why Being Resilient is Essential to Success

The day my boyfriend moved his furniture out, a week after I’d ended our six-year relationship, my Mom called as I was curled up on my temporary makeshift couch of two oversized pillows pushed together. “I’m okay,” I said. “Oh, I know you’re okay,” she replied. “You’re strong as steel.”

Steel. I love that word. It’s a noun, of course, but it’s also a verb: to steel oneself, to mentally prepare for a difficulty that’s coming. Life is hard. Steel is harder.

There’s a storm before every calm. We’ve all faced one and will face more. You will not escape it. Some of us are probably in the middle of one right now.

Flailing and complaining, worrying and unraveling – these reactions don’t help us. They’re natural and honest, and they deserve acknowledgment, but the next steps are release, acceptance and bracing for impact.

Success isn’t found in the breakdown. It’s in the buildup.

We Need Resilience in Small Doses, Too

Resilience isn’t required for just the big things. Anyone who freelances, runs a business or is striving to level up in their career – or who has a newborn, is healing from an injury or is going through a divorce – knows that it takes bite-sized resilience multiple times a day. I’d argue that it’s more difficult to stay strong in little moments than in big ones. When life-or-death isn’t the conundrum, it’s much easier to buckle under lesser pressures, especially as they build up.

Rock Bottom Doesn’t Have to Be the Springboard

When the worst has happened, either by fate or your own fault, the way up is obvious because it’s the only way. You can be resilient before you stretch that rubber band that is your life as far as it’ll go, though. In so many situations, you have the ability to stop, shift and change the outcome; to improve your day now instead of waiting for tomorrow; to foresee bigger problems ahead and start making repairs now to avoid them.

Mister Rogers has a song called, “What Do You Do With the Mad That You Feel?” and even though it’s to help children make better decisions when they’re angry, it’s applicable to adults, too – because let’s be honest, we can all turn into toddlers when we don’t get our way. Here’s the best line: “It’s great to be able to stop when you’ve planned a thing that’s wrong, and be able to do something else instead.” Whether the difficulty you’re facing is within your control or outside of it, you can choose how you’ll recover.

(Have you see the Mister Rogers documentary? Watch it. Be prepared to cry.)

Maybe It’s a Good Time to Bail

When I was in high school, there were these two cousins who wanted to beat me up, tough, mean girls who wouldn’t have hesitated to punch me right in the face. They told me to meet them down in the parking lot after school. All day long, people came up to me to ask what I was going to do. I just shrugged, unflustered – “I’m not going to go down to the parking lot.” I left at 3 p.m., walked to my after-school job and nobody ever clucked another word about it.

We’re always bouncing back from something. Sometimes you have the luxury to choose what you want to cope with. I didn’t have to learn how to be resilient after getting a black eye. Instead, I bounced back from a scary threat and school-wide speculation, which taught me an entirely different – and more worthwhile – lesson.

Get real with yourself. What’s required here? What do you want to deal with? What are you even capable of dealing with? Is there a better, smarter choice with positive, long-lasting impact?

Life doesn’t reward you for taking the harder, tougher route for toughness’ sake alone. Your choices should make you a stronger person.

5 Ways to Be More Resilient

Assuming you can’t bail right now, here’s how to become more resilient, both in the moment and in daily life – think of it as your resiliency training.

1. Ignore the finish line. Believe in your abilities.

Few things turn out the way we envision them. A lot of the time, they end up way better than we could have pictured. Or way worse.

Goals are necessary so there’s something to strive for, but don’t fool yourself into thinking you’ll know exactly how a situation is going to turn out. (I dive into this some more in my article about the illusion of control.)

Personally, the best things in my life have come from two ideas working simultaneously: (1) utter acceptance that I have no idea what the future will look like and (2) complete and total faith in my abilities. Sometimes my ability is as abstract as making good decisions and leading myself in the right direction, and sometimes it’s a lot more tangible, like being able to write well and provide good customer service to my clients.

The point here is that if you’re more confident in your capability than hung up on the outcome, you’ll have an easier time bouncing back because you’ll be relying on the most trustworthy person in your life: yourself.

2. Gamify it.

Right now, you can’t do the last thing – you can’t solve the entire problem – but you can do the next best thing. Sometimes that’s super hard, like the time I hiked Giant Mountain, fell three times, hurt my knee and realized I didn’t bring my headlamp as the sun was setting (or the right boots or enough water). Or like when climber Joe Simpson shattered the Hell out of his leg at 19,000 feet – spoiler alert, he survived and then wrote Touching the Void about the experience, which I recommend you read.

Joe and I both gamified the experience. He created a pattern of movements to use for each step; I got up and down that mountain in 100-step groups. I’m sure we both cried, but we also both lived to tell the tale.

The point isn’t necessarily to make the situation fun but to make it bearable, to keep the mind distracted and focus on one crisis at a time. If you’re not in something as threatening and unforgiving as the wilderness, you can even give yourself small treats as you reach mini-goals.

3. Manage your impulses.

If you’re generally an impulsive person in life, you’re going to be an impulsive person under stress – possibly more impulsive and with worse consequences. Staying calm and making rational decisions can help you be more resilient because you won’t make a situation worse before it can get better.

Since most days you’re going to deal with minor problems and not major ones, get used to acting less impulsively. Don’t make decisions out of pure frustration or even pure excitement – think them through first. Write a pros and cons list if you need to. Or see what happens if you make no decision right now and give yourself plenty of time to sit on it.

4. Move through the stages of grief quickly.

There are seven stages of grief:

Shock: Paralysis when facing the situation.

Denial: Avoiding the inevitable.

Anger: Bottled-up emotion and frustration pour out.

Bargaining: Trying to find a way out of the situation (but not in a healthy or productive way).

Depression: Realizing the inevitable is…inevitable, and being upset about that.

Testing: Looking for realistic solutions to the problem.

Acceptance: Finding a way to move forward.

People who are resilient move from the shock stage to the testing and acceptance stages quickly. They may even skip some of the stages in between, especially if they’ve faced the same difficulty in the past. Laurence Gonzales writes about this in Deep Survival (great book, BTW): “The best survivors spend almost no time, especially in emergencies, getting upset about what has been lost, or feeling distressed about things going badly.”

Forcing your way through the stages of grief takes a lot of willpower, especially because the middle stages are so tempting to sink into. Getting it all out can help, whether that’s out loud to someone you know or down on paper. If you need to, write out the different stages and how you’ve experienced them. Then start listing those solutions.

You can definitely practice this in everyday life. When something small-but-totally-annoying happens, force yourself to skip over the “I’m so upset about this” stages. Go right to solving the problem. The next time you spill an entire carton of orange juice on your kitchen floor, start cleaning it up without hesitating. If you forgot to buy something at the store, put your sneakers on and head back out before you can beat yourself up over it. If you get a splinter, gather the rubbing alcohol and the tweezers and get that sucker out. Just get it done.

5. Learn from others.

“Others have been through it too” isn’t comforting for everyone, but it’s always been comforting for me, especially when I can tie my experience to that of a specific person, not just the general public. We’re all unique butterflies, but honestly, one person’s heartbreak or firing from work or fight with a family member is a billion other people’s, too. Knowing that others came before, labored through and walked out the other end healed, employed or on speaking terms is supremely hopeful. Pardon my penchant for sappy stories, but this quote from P.S. I Love You pinballs in my head whenever I feel alone in disappointment or sadness: “Thing to remember is if we’re all alone, then we’re all together in that too.”

In practice, this can mean telling people about what you’re going through – you’ll hear similar stories in return. I’m not a “spill your heart out” person usually, so my solution has always been to pick up a book or read a magazine article about how Joe Famous Person faced something horrible and got through it. And if you really need a jolt of “everyone’s been here,” listen to Nate Berkus’ interview called “Surviving the Storm” on the SuperSoul Conversations podcast.

On the same note, this is a perfect time to give back. Helping others can give you a fix of “my life isn’t so bad,” or just shake you out of whatever slump you’re in. If you get a confidence boost from being selfless, I give you permission to enjoy that – it’s not selfish to feel good about yourself.

Wrapping Up

If you’re not a person who can handle daily life and all its teeny struggles, you’re going to have a difficult time moving through those stages of grief in order to help yourself when the you-know-what really hits the fan. Your habits and the way you handle your emotions on a normal day are the training and preparation you need to be truly resilient when you need it most. Get used to helping yourself in small ways so that it’ll be second nature when serious drama or trauma blows through.

Excited about being less impulsive and more cool, calm and collected? Check out this article about how responding instead of reacting can improve your business relationships.

The post Why Being Resilient is Essential to Success appeared first on Elegant Themes Blog.

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