#this is so funny to me because last week i didn’t know this guy existed i was simply replaying fire emblem fates

[milanosbitch]

tiger mountain peasant song 2.3x2.3 inches on watercolor paper

“I don’t know what I have done, I’m turning myself into a demon.”

[penny00dreadful]

Before He Cheats

AO3

“Munson Home for the Recently Deceased, you stab ‘em we slab ‘em. How may I direct your call?”

There was silence on the other end of the line for a few seconds before a light chuckle crackled through the speaker.

“Is that really how you answer the phone?”

Eddie smiled to himself. “Got you to laugh didn’t it?”

“Suppose.”

“Plus, no one calls the landline anymore unless they’re trying to sell something. You trying to sell me something?”

“No. No, I uh… I’m looking for an Eddie Munson?”

“Only an Eddie Munson? Only one? What a terrible fate. Well you’re in luck, my good sir. This is he. What can I do you for?”

The voice on the end of the line gave a light laugh once again but went silent almost immediately after. 

Eddie stared at the wall in his apartment, waiting for something to happen. In the quiet he could hear the guy letting out little nervous breaths before one big inhale.

“I um. I’m sorry to have to tell you like this, I’d prefer to do it face to face but I don’t know where you live and you probably wouldn’t even want me at your house afterwards and I did find you on social media but it’s not something I wanted to do in DM’s, you deserve better than that-”

“Okay, hold on, slow down.” Eddie tried to ignore the panic starting to kick around in his heart. “Is someone dead? Is someone injured?”

“No! No, Jesus, I’m sorry. I told Robin that I’d be terrible at this but I couldn’t just let it go on without saying anything-”

“You haven’t really said anything. You’re just rambling.”

“Right. Sorry. Again, blame Robin. I’m around her too much. But… okay. Do you know Rick Lipton?”

Eddie felt the panic leave him, replaced only by irritation as he sighed through his nose. “What did he do now?”

“He… um. I’m sorry to ask this but are you his partner? Like, romantic partner?”

Eddie scowled. “And if I am?”

There was movement against the line, almost as if the other guy was nodding. 

“Shit.” He muttered before picking back up in volume again. “Listen, I didn’t know. He told me he was single and I only found out because Robin lives in the same building as you and she saw him with you and asked the neighbours and they said you’d been a thing for like two years and you have to believe me if I’d known I wouldn’t have touched him, I don’t fuck around with cheaters-”

“How long?”

Eddie had expected to feel betrayal or sadness, devastation or heartbreak and they were there. 

They were just lost under a tidal wave of anger and indignation. He was even surprised at himself that he didn’t feel more caught off guard. 

Rick had never cheated before (that Eddie was aware of) but he had always had a wandering eye and a few off-colour jokes about 'going to find someone more his speed’. 

They’d never really felt all that funny.

Maybe it was because their relationship had felt dead for the last few months. 

They barely talked, they just existed around each other. The sex had all but dried up as well and whenever they did have it, it was completely impersonal. Get in, get out, move back to separate parts of the apartment if either of them even bothered to stay over. 

More often than not one of them would make a quick exit back to their home.

Eddie had been thinking a breakup was on the horizon for a while. 

But that was no excuse to cheat. 

At least have the fucking decency to end the relationship first before going out and chasing tail. 

“Um, like four or five weeks." The guy on the phone muttered, clearly ashamed. "I’m so sorry Eddie, I swear to god if I knew I would never… I have- I have proof if you need it.”

“If it’s a sex tape I don’t think I want to see it.” Eddie was trying really hard to maintain his calm and not snap through the phone. 

If what the guy was saying was true, then he was an innocent party in this.

Didn’t make it hurt any fucking less though.

Didn’t make him any less pissed.

“If- no it’s not a sex tape.” The voice sounded scandalised. “Fucking hell, do people actually do that?”

“Yes.”

There was a pause, as though the guy was waiting for Eddie to continue but Eddie just let it hang in the air. He wasn’t ashamed. 

But he was definitely going to have to purge those files now.

“Okay well… It's just a photo. I posted it to my insta a week ago but he was really weird about it being up, which in hindsight makes a lot of sense, so I took it down.” He said, quiet and sad. “I can send it to you if you want.”

Eddie pursed his lips. 

“Please hold.”

He unceremoniously dropped the phone with a clatter, leaving it dangling from the cord, bouncing against the wall and probably blowing the guy’s ear out. 

Maybe in the morning Eddie would feel a little bad about that, but for now it just felt very satisfying. 

He rifled around in his bedsheets for his phone before making his way back to the landline. 

“Still there?”

“Yes. Ow, by the way.”

Eddie just shrugged, well aware the guy couldn’t see him but whatever. He wasn’t in the mood. 

“Send it on.”

Only a moment later his phone pinged with a notification and Eddie opened the photo.

Well. 

Shit. 

There was Rick, in amongst a crowd at some nightclub, plastered to the side of some pretty boy who looked like he had a regular workout routine. 

Ugh.

Eddie couldn’t handle gym bunnies, the amount they could bench or whatever was all they ever talked about. But this must be the guy on the other end of the phone. 

@King.Steve.Of.House.Hair

Rick had King Steve’s earlobe in between his teeth and from the angle of the selfie Eddie could see his hands were wandering.

It looked like some kind of Halloween night, if the teeny tiny little sailor outfit was anything to go by.

God damn.

But even so, Eddie still wanted to be sure that what he was seeing was… well. What he was seeing. 

“Steve, is it?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry, I didn’t realise I hadn’t given you my name yet.” Steve let out a nervous laugh, like he was expecting Eddie to jump through the phone and strangle him.

Eddie was fit to strangle someone but Steve wasn’t in his crosshairs.

“Don’t worry about it. Tell me, what does Rick have tattooed on his ass?”

“Uh…” Steve paused. “He doesn’t have a tattoo on his ass? Not that I’ve seen anyway. But I can tell you he does have his taint pierced. For some fucking reason.”

Eddie gave a quiet laugh at that, despite the monumentally fucked up situation and the final cracking piece of his heart breaking away. Rick had that piercing by the time Eddie had met him. He insisted he’d gotten it because it was sexy. Eddie was pretty sure he’d just lost a bet.

Eddie was no stranger to intimate piercings himself. He had his frenum done a while back. 

That one he’d definitely done because it felt sexy.

He looked back down at his phone, idly flipping through Steve’s profile and all of his other photos. 

He probably shouldn’t be thinking about how hot Steve was, how it was juxtaposed with a soft cuteness that almost felt like it didn’t belong to someone with such broad shoulders and defined arms. 

He hated himself for thinking about Steve’s attractiveness. 

It felt wrong.

Even though he was pretty much single now.

Even if Rick didn’t know it yet. 

But fuck him. 

He’d find out.

One way or the other.

And Eddie was nothing if not a drama queen.

But he wouldn’t do anything tonight.

No tonight he would just… hurt.

And smoke.

A lot.

“Eddie?” Steve’s voice came through to him. “You okay?”

Eddie swallowed, finding it a little more difficult than he expected it to be and realised he’d just been staring down at his phone in silence. 

The screen had gone black.

“Yeah.” He answered, his voice thick. “I’m fine.”

Steve hummed. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Eddie laughed. It was wet and sniffly and vulnerable and horrible. “What are you gonna do from over the phone far away… wherever you are?”

“I dunno. I could just… talk to you I guess? Help you plot Rick's murder?”

Eddie laughed again, a little brighter this time. "Yeah, that could be good. But if I'm plotting murder I want to be a little more comfortable." He unlocked his phone and hit the follow button on Steve’s account. “This conversation requires lounging, not standing by the landline.”

“Oh-”

“How do you feel about a video call?”

A notification popped up on his phone, letting him know Steve had followed him back.

“A video call is fine.”

“Great.” Eddie paused. He wasn’t even sure how to end this call with the guy his boyfriend of two years had been cheating on him with and who he’d just asked if he wanted to video call so Eddie could smoke his feelings away. 

He just didn’t want to feel alone right now. 

He could have called Chrissy or one of the boys to come hang out with him but that would require explaining everything over again and he really didn’t want to do that right now. 

Before he could think much more on it Eddie said a quick “Okay bye,” and hung up.

Steve knew the story and Steve had been wronged too and maybe they could just be mad and sad together. 

He unlocked his phone again as he walked back into his bedroom and hit the video call button, not even bothering to turn his light on, leaving himself and his room shrouded in darkness. He propped his phone up on his desk, angled towards the window where he sat on the sil and started to roll, using the streetlights streaming in the window to see.

Steve picked up only a moment later and Eddie got his first good look at the guy live in action and not through a photo online.

He was sitting at what looked like a kitchen table fully lit by the overhead lights, a pair of wire framed glasses perched on his nose and his hair messy and dishevelled, like he’d been stressfully running his hands through it, which he probably had been. 

Eddie didn’t know how stressed he would be if he had to make a call to someone to tell them their long term partner had been cheating.

He was leaning forward, elbows on the table in a cosy yellow sweater with a slight worry between his eyebrows. 

He looked so soft. 

Nothing at all like the nautical sea queen look he’d been giving in those photos. He looked comfortable and gentle and a little worried.

“Eddie?”

“Mm-hm?” He hummed, bringing the joint to his mouth and lighting it up before pushing open the window a little more and exhaling out into the dark rainfall outside.

“You okay?”

He shrugged. “I will be.”

“I’m not asking about whether you will be, I‘m asking about now.”

Eddie looked over and watched Steve as Steve watched him through the screen.

“Alright, then no. I’m not okay.” He took another drag. “I’m fucking pissed. I’m sad, I’m upset, I’m hurt, I’m angry, I’m disappointed and I don’t know if all of that is directed more at him for doing this to me or me for not expecting it.”

“How were you supposed to expect it?” Steve shook his head in disbelief. “No one should have to expect to be cheated on.”

“Dunno.” Eddie shrugged, looking back out the window. “Relationship was dying anyway.”

“Okay, and? That doesn’t make cheating okay.”

“Suppose not.”

“I’m sorry, for what it’s worth. For my part in it.”

Eddie glanced back over, taking in the downward tilt of Steve’s mouth and his big sad eyes.

“S’not your fault. You were wronged too.”

“I guess, but…” Steve bit his lip and looked up from the screen, casting his eyes around his kitchen like something was going to pop out and answer whatever question was running through his head. 

Eddie waited. The guy had been very gracious so far and he seemed to genuinely feel bad for all the mess he’d been wrapped up in. 

“I…” Steve continued. “I know how this thing usually goes. You find out you’ve been cheated on and you still love your partner so you tend to focus all your anger towards the person they cheated with rather than the person who actually wronged you.” He looked down, fiddling with some kind of flash card on the table in front of him.

“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.” Eddie stubbed his joint out, happy enough with his current buzz. He was sufficiently mellowed, he hadn’t cried yet though that would probably come once he was in bed, but his anger had simmered down to a level where he didn’t feel like putting his fist through a wall but still angry enough to plot.

“I am, I guess.”

Eddie nodded. “This happened to you before?” 

That was probably rude. His filter malfunctioned at the best of times but when he smoked it was all but gone.

“Yeah.” Steve stared down at the cards in his hands. “My mom had to put up with my dad’s infidelity a lot. And my ex-girlfriend cheated on me a while back.” Steve paused before taking a deep breath. “Rick was actually my first attempt to get back into the dating world so…”

“So we can both be sad and angry together.”

“Yeah.” Steve smiled and Eddie stood up, plucking his phone from his desk and settling it on his bedside table, switching his lamp on and throwing himself face down on his bed, probably barely visible to Steve.

“We can be sad and angry together.”

Eddie glanced up. Now that he was closer to his phone, he could better see exactly what Steve was fiddling with, he could read some of the text on the card.

“Stevie.” Eddie sat up, moving closer to the phone and unable to stop the smirk running over his face. Steve’s eyes snapped up towards him. “Did you write out flash cards for when you called me?”

Steve’s eyes widened before he unceremoniously swept all the cards off the table in front of him, his cheeks turning a terrific shade of red and he leaned his face on his hand, trying to act as nonchalant as possible. 

“No.”

It was adorable. Incredibly dorky and adorable.

Eddie laughed, full on braying belly laughs, collapsing backwards onto his bed. When he peeked back up to look at his phone through his giggles, Steve’s face was somehow even redder. 

“Oh my god.” Eddie breathed. “That’s darling.”

“Shut up.”

“No, no. It’s really very sweet.”

“Ugh. Whatever.” Steve rolled his eyes but was still smiling, still had a blush lighting up his cheeks.

Eddie settled himself back against his headboard. “Actually, listen, let me ask you something.”

“Okay?”

“Does Rick know? Does he know that you know? Or that you told me?”

“No.” Steve answered, finally relaxing his fake nonchalance into real relaxation, folding his hands on the table and propping his chin up on them. “I figured if anyone had the right to rip his balls off it would be you.”

Eddie nodded. 

That he could understand. 

“I get that, but there’ll be no ball ripping from where I stand. No, I want to hit him where it hurts.”

“Woulda hurt me plenty.”

“Oh, I’m sure. But the only thing Rick loves more than his own balls is his car.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, he’s like, obsessed with that thing. It’s weird. It’s not even that nice of a car.”

“I’d love to say he has bad taste but considering he picked the both of us, I’m pretty sure his tastes are actually immaculate.”

“Just his decisions are bad.”

“Exactly.”

“Well.” Steve sighed. “I’d love to help any way I can. I hate that I was involved in this, in what he did to you.”

“To us, Stevie. To us.”

“Right, so what’s the plan then?”

“When are you due to see him next?”

Eddie pulled his van into the parking lot of the bar. It was halfway across town and a place that he never frequented if he could help it. Rick liked it though, always had. Eddie just liked other places around town more.

But it could be cute, he supposed. A small little country and sports type place that had a rainbow flag behind the bar and a small number of regulars who, according to Steve, wouldn’t do anything unless you got between them and their drink. 

He knew that Steve was inside with Rick, playing up the flirty angle and acting tipsier than he actually was to put him at ease.

Steve had mentioned one of his signature moves involved pool, bending over the table and wiggling a little bit to keep the attention on him. Pulling out a little pout whenever he missed a shot or asking for help to line up his cue.

Eddie would be more upset by the fact that he was missing the sight of it if he didn't know he'd have the opportunity to see it himself at some point in the future.

They had talked for so long that first night, long enough that the sun was starting to come up by the time they'd both dragged themselves away from their phones to sleep.

They’d talked about their families, their friends, what they were doing in life right now as opposed to what they had hoped they would be doing when they were teenagers. They talked about their school selves and their dating lives and as the conversation wore on Eddie found himself thinking again and again about how long it had been since it had felt so easy to talk to someone like that.

It had been a very long time since Rick had put any effort into getting to know him as he grew through their two years together, like he expected Eddie to stay the same person as he was at the start of the relationship.

After that first night where they’d figured out their master plan, he and Steve had just… kept talking. Throughout the rest of the week up until tonight, they were in almost constant contact, only really taking a break to sleep and work.

Eddie felt connected to Steve and in some roundabout way he was thankful to Rick for bringing him into his life.

He’d even met Robin in passing one day, living two floors below him, holding the door open for him as he tried to wrestle with grocery bags. 

She was so weird. He kind of loved her the second she opened her mouth. Honest, but with the sharpest tongue he’d ever met on a person. 

She had knocked on his apartment door later that evening to tell him Steve was calling over to visit and asking if he wanted to come around to meet him. 

Steve had apparently delegated the asking to her because he was too nervous to do it himself.

Again, adorable.

Steve was somehow even sweeter and even saltier in person than he was over the phone and Eddie tried hard, he tried really hard not to look too much or let his fucking horomones run away with him but Jesus. H. Christ it was difficult. 

The sweetness of his soft sweaters and polos, his gentle smiles and understanding words matched with his salty mean girl attitude that would slip out every so often and the bitchiest of eye rolls that made Eddie’s heart jump.

Eddie was also trying to feel bad about what was happening but honestly, he was losing reasons to care that much.

He hadn’t texted or called Rick once in the last week and Rick himself had never reached out which all at once made Eddie realise he was the primary communicator in the relationship and it hadn’t been reciprocated in a long, long time. 

Adding onto that was the knowledge that Rick was still fucking cheating on him and was in regular contact with Steve left Eddie only half heartedly feeling bad.

He and Steve would go over the screenshots of the conversation together every night and every night Eddie found it harder and harder to hang up the phone.

He was pretty sure Steve was feeling the same way. 

They kept just catching each other staring. Or smiling or, pulling back from touching too much and he was almost sure that as soon as Rick was out of the picture for the both of them, something was going to blossom.

Even now, with Steve inside, flirting up a storm with Eddie’s ex-boyfriend who didn’t know he was an ex yet, they would be ending the night together. 

Robin was waiting back at her apartment with an alibi ready if Eddie needed it though he suspected he wouldn’t.

Neither he nor Rick had a great track record with the police and it would be more trouble than it was worth to get them involved.

Speaking of, Eddie spotted Rick’s car, some souped up four wheel drive monstrosity of small dick syndrome sitting in the shadows and away from the cameras of the bar where Steve had convinced him to park with a suggestion of something happening in those shadows later on. 

He hopped out of his van and threw open the back doors, grabbing his bag of goodies before sidling around Rick’s car to wait.

When the chords of some Shania Twain number started to leak through the walls, the signal he’d been waiting for, the sound loud enough to drown out what Eddie would be doing, he dropped his bag to the floor.

Curling his keys into his fingers and with almost a skip in his step Eddie began to carve a stripe through the immaculate and expensive paint work. Working his way around to the drivers side, he lifted the key up before bringing it back down.

With a little bit of sickening glee, he hacked the word CHEATER into the side of the car, the side that would be immediately visible from the bar door and the side Rick would have to see every time he wanted to get in and get out of the driver's seat.

At least until he paid a bomb to get it fixed.

Eddie had connections in this town. Working as a mechanic here for years would do wonderful things to extend this pain. 

Rick knew fuck all about cars. 

Tucking his keys back into his pocket, he sidled back around to his duffel bag, unzipping it and pulling out his Stanley blade.

Unsheathing it, he gripped it tight in his hand and punched it down into the nearest tyre, listening with satisfaction as the thing slowly deflated before moving onto the other three.

A second Shania song had started up. 

He could hear Steve crooning out from inside, getting louder and Eddie knew he was running out of time. 

He pulled Steve’s baseball bat from the duffle and gave it a little twirl, the same one he’d seen Steve do when he’d first handed it off and he had tried so hard not to be attracted to it. 

He’d failed miserably. 

Maybe Eddie could deal with a gym bunny if that gym bunny was Steve.

With an almighty swing, he brought the bat down, shattering one of the headlights with an almighty crash that wasn’t quite drowned out by the karaoke inside.

Rearing back Eddie swung again, smashing the other headlight and while the music didn’t cut off, he could clearly hear Steve inside calling out for Rick to “Wait!”

Okay, only a few seconds left.

Pulling the bat back and letting the anger and betrayal and indignation flow through him, he brought the bat down hard into the windshield where it embedded itself, the spider cracks of the tempered glass making the thing practically opaque.

The bat was fucking stuck.

Eddie knew that if he was able to pull hard enough he would be able to release the whole windshield from the car but he didn’t even have the strength in him to budge the bat.

“What the fuck?!”

Eddie slowly released his hands from the bat and turned, looking at Rick standing in the doorway of the bar, his mouth hanging wide open in shock, unable to believe what he was seeing. Steve was standing just behind him, with one hand over Rick’s chest.

To anyone else it would look like a comforting gesture, maybe. A show of support. 

But Eddie could tell the hand was there to hold Rick back if he decided to lunge. 

Both Steve and Rick dragged their gaze over the flat tyres, the word carved into the side, the bat stuck in the windshield.

“Hey sweetheart.” Eddie called across the distance, feeling comfortable enough to turn his back to pick up his bag, trusting Steve to at least shout if Rick was about to tackle him.

“Eddie,” Rick breathed, still open-mouthed somehow. “What in the god damned hell has gotten into you?!”

“I wasn’t talking to you.” He slung the bag over his shoulder and held his hand out.

Steve patted Rick twice on the chest and stepped out from behind him. 

Rick watched him walk away looking even more bewildered than before.

With one hand Steve took Eddie’s and with the other he grabbed the bat, wiggling it a few times before pulling it free. 

They broke apart as they reached Eddie’s van, Steve climbing into the passenger seat and Eddie throwing his bag in the back before starting up the van from his position in the driver's seat.

He leaned over Steve to shout out of the window, “Have a nice life, asshole!”

As the van tore out of the lot, Steve stretched both hands out of the window, two middle fingers extended until Rick, still frozen on the spot, was out of sight.

When he pulled himself back inside, Eddie saw him glance his way, a huge grin on his face.

Eddie had a smile to match, whooping into the night as they sped down the road.

AO3

@geekymagicalpotato

Big thanks as always to @hbyrde36 for her magnificent beta work and to the STWG for their motivation.

[reigningqueenofwords]

Forgiven

Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: 2,530 Request: @jessicalynnann Okay when you have time how about Dean is a cop and he and the reader are established well she thinks Dean is pulling away cause he is working a lot and there is a new partner who is pretty. Well she and Mary are shopping and she breaks down and tells Mary that she thinks she is losing Dean. Well what about there is a robbery where the reader works and she gets hurt and Dean risks his life to save her. I had this dream last night. Can you make the ending something like this I love you so much but I guess I’m doing this here. And he gets down on one knee… no rush.

Read on AO3

You’d been with Dean nearly 7 years. You were by his side all through the academy, and when he got his badge. Things had been really good, and while there’d been no proposal or talk of a family, you felt you were on the way. One day you knew you’d call Dean your husband, and the father of your children.

And then Dean’s hours went up. Fine. He was busy. That happened. However, after the first couple weeks of the new hours you felt like Dean wasn’t your Dean. When he would crawl into bed he was out. No pulling you close, no holding you. Instead of eating breakfast with you (on the mornings he was there at the same time), he’d grab something on the way to work. You couldn’t remember the last time he had taken you on a date, either. Or surprised you with flowers ‘just because’.

After a month of this, you found out that he had a new partner. He hadn’t even told you. You’d met her at the cookout he and a few of his coworkers had now and then. It was them, and their significant others. She had walked up to you, a big smile on her (too beautiful) face. “You must be Y/N! I’m Kelly.” She held out her hand, clearly excited to meet you.

You shook it, not wanting to be rude. “Nice to meet you. Are you dating one of the guys?” You knew a couple of them were single, so maybe they had met someone?

She chuckled and shook her head. “No, I’m Winchester’s new partner.” She chuckled. New partner ? What happened to his old partner? “For about a month now.” She moved to stand next to you. 

“I honestly didn’t know he had a new partner.” You admitted, feeling embarrassed. “He hasn’t talked much about work recently.” 

“It does get really busy.” She nodded, a tension settling between the pair of you. “The guys have been so welcoming, too.” 

Her bubblynes was so odd to you. Not in general, but at this moment. How could she not feel the awkwardness? That you clearly had no idea that she even existed before today? “They’re all great.” You agreed. “I always look forward to catching up with all of them at the cookouts. I haven’t been able to have any of them over for dinner lately.”

“Oh, if I would have known I would have invited you when I had everyone over last Wednesday.” She shook her head. 

“Everyone? Was Dean there?” Your heart clenched. Dean said he had work, so just make yourself something. Was that ‘work’ spending time with the guys at Kelly’s?

She nodded. “Yeah, him, Cas, Sam…most of the guys.” She shrugged. “We hung out for a couple hours, had some beers.” You couldn’t be angry at Kelly. She didn’t know that she was pouring salt in your wounds. 

Dean came over, grinning. He had a beer in one hand, and a plate in the other. “Hey, babe. I see you met Winters.” He said happily. “I told you you’d get along.” 

You gave him a funny look. “You never told me about her.” You said awkwardly. “I didn’t know you had a new partner. She is nice, though.” That was something you couldn't deny. It still didn’t alleviate you feeling off about the entire situation. “Oh, I see Donna. I’m gonna go say hi. I haven’t seen her in what feels like forever.” You excused yourself, rushing to talk to her. 

Chuckling, Dean watched you go, sipping his beer. 

A couple weeks later, you were lounging when Mary texted you. Up for some shopping with your mother in law? You sighed at her wording. Mary and John were like your second parents, and you adored them. Would you lose them, too?

Always! Let me shower and get ready. Want me to meet you at the mall? You got up, making your way to your room. 

I’ll pick you up in half an hour :) She replied. 

You felt you’d done well hiding how you were feeling, but when you were in the second store, Mary brought it up. “You seem to have something on your mind, do you want to talk about it?” She asked, concern lacing her voice. “I can get it if it’s Dean being a cop. I mean, John just retired. Every day I worried about him coming home.” 

“I think I’m losing him.” You admitted, tearing up. Quickly wiping your cheek, you focused on the dresses you were looking at. “I can get long hours, but it’s him feeling gone even when he’s home. He doesn’t pull me close anymore, doesn’t take me on dates, doesn’t surprise me with flowers, or anything. And have you met his new partner?” 

Mary shook her head. “No, I’ve heard he’s good, though.” 

“ She’s gorgeous.” You huffed. “I can barely get him to eat dinner with me, but one night he told me he had to work and just to make dinner for myself. He was at her house with some of the guys hanging out for a couple hours. And having dinner. I hate feeling so insecure and like he’d rather be with her.” 

She pulled you into a hug. “Dean loves you so much.” She tried. “I don’t know what’s going on with him.” 

You hugged her back, welcoming the comfort. “I might go stay with my parents for a few days. I don’t think he’d even notice.” Which hurt even worse. 

“Our house is closer to your job. You can come stay with us.” She pulled back to look at you, hands on your arms. “John will love having you around, too.” 

After a moment, you nodded. “Okay, sure. Let’s finish up this shopping, and then I’ll go pack a bag. I’ll make dinner tonight. It’s been a bit since I’ve cooked for anyone but myself.” That alone gave you something to look forward to. 

Dean got home just after 11 that night, and wasn’t surprised to see all the lights off. There was no sign in the first floor of the house that anything was different. He toed off his shoes, hung his belt on the coat rack, and made his way to the kitchen. Sometimes he got lucky and there were leftovers from dinner that night. When he didn’t see anything, he assumed that there hadn’t been anything left over. 

After he had a quick sandwich and a glass of milk, he made his way upstairs. He froze when he noticed the bed was still made. You weren’t in it. His nightstand lamp was on, and there was a paper folded against it. Walking over to it, he sat on the bed and lifted the paper. Did you leave him? It took him a moment for him to open it. 

Dean- 

I’m staying with your parents for a few days while I do some thinking. We’ve been together almost 7 years. 7 years in two weeks, actually. Did you have any idea that our anniversary was coming up? 

I barely see you, and when I do? You aren’t even *here*. It’s like you’re somewhere else. When you started working more, I understood. Your job is important, which meant the times you were home would mean more. Instead, those times hurt worse. 

When was the last time you held me at night? When was the last time you held my hand? Took me on a date? Cuddled with me while watching a movie (even if you fell asleep, I would be over the moon for that time with you)?  

Do you know how badly it hurt to want you home for dinner now and then, just to find out you went to your new partner’s for dinner? A new partner I didn’t know about, might I add. You’d rather go spend time with your gorgeous new partner than make it home for one dinner with the woman who has been by your side for everything, and that says a lot. 

I’m not saying I’m leaving you, but I do need to figure some things out. 

I love you, Dean. 

-Y/N 

He clenched his jaw as tears rolled down his cheeks. Looking back, he knew this wasn’t out of left field. He knew what you were talking about. He’d seen the hurt on your face lately, too. He’d pushed it away, though. He’d told himself it was something else. It wasn’t about him. Dean sniffed, opening up his night stand drawer to pull out the tiny black box he’d put in there two months prior. Lifting the lid, he looked down at the ring he’d bought you, and wondered if he missed his chance. All he saw when he pictures his life was you by his side, and probably a kid or two. You’d be a great mom. 

“Fuck.” He breathed. He had an early shift the next day, so he’d go straight to you after work.

It stung when you woke up to no texts or missed calls from Dean. You knew that by now he would have gotten your note. Unless he didn’t go home last night . The thought caught you off guard. He’d never not come home. Even if he came home late. Pushing those thoughts from your head, you got ready for work. You worked at a high end jewelry store, and had been promoted to manager 6 months prior. It paid well, and you liked all the people you worked with. 

Dean hadn’t slept well the night before, and knew he’d be powering through his shift with a lot of (bad) coffee. He also wanted to talk to his chief about cutting back his hours, even just an hour here and there. Anything to be with you more. If he even had you more. 

It was nearly 4 when he was alerted to a robbery. At your job. “Shit!” He flipped on the sirens and lights before speeding off. He was only a few minutes away, but it felt like ages before he pulled up in front of it. He could see through the glass, where you were being held at gunpoint. The only other worker wasn’t someone he recognized, so he assumed they were new. What a way to start a job! 

“Isn’t that your girlfriend?” Kelly asked as they parked. 

“Yes, it is.” His voice was betraying him. He was trying to sound calm, but he felt like he’d lose it at any moment. “I’m going around back.” He told her. 

She whipped her head to look at him. “What? Why not wait for backup? Can you even get in?” 

“I can’t wait and risk her getting shot.” He pulled off his jacket. “And I can. I know the code. She’s the manager, so she told me.” Did you have a gut feeling he’d need it at some point? 

“And do what in there? I can see the door to the back of the store. Which means he can.” She opened her door to get in place. 

“I can distract him. Or maybe I can talk him down from inside. The storefront has bullet proof glass. She was really excited when it was installed. It’s supposed to be basically unbreakable.” He explained. 

“This isn't procedure!” She tried. However, she watched him rush around the back, gun drawn. “Damn in, Winchester!” She hissed, hearing other cops arriving.

You were shaking, tears in your eyes, while the man in front of you aimed his gun at you. You’d heard the cops pull up, but that didn’t seem to phase him one bit. Someone must have called, because you didn’t even have a chance to trigger the silent alarm. He had to know that there was no getting out of this without being arrested, right? 

The door next to you busted in, making you and Alice scream. The robber whipped his gun towards the door. The door blocked whoever it was from view, but only a few people had the code. You quickly looked out the front of the store and saw Kelly. But no Dean. 

Just as it registered that your boyfriend was the one that came in, you heard two gunshots. The robber went down, and you rushed to the door. “Dean!” You sobbed, pulling off your blazer to press it against his chest. “Oh God.” Moving, you rested his head on your lap as you could hear people rushing into the store.

Dean hissed in pain as you kept pressure on his chest. “Fuck, I didn’t want to do it like this, but I gotta ask. I love you more than anything. Will you marry me? Your ring is in my nightstand.” He wanted you to know, just in case he didn’t make it. 

You nodded. “Of course I’ll marry you.” The feelings of the past month or so were pushed from your mind. The only thing you could focus on was the fact that Dean had been shot. “I love you so much.” You sniffed. 

“Ma’am, we need to get him into an ambulance.” Came a voice. 

“Yeah, yeah.” You gently moved his head off your lap so you could get out of their way. You watched as they got him onto a stretcher. 

You’d stopped at home on the way to the hospital. You wanted to put on your ring, so when Dean woke up, he saw you wearing it. You also knew that you wouldn’t be seeing him right away. Mary had already been called, and told you that they would meet you at the hospital. 

Once there, you didn’t keep track of how much time you had been sitting there. All you could do is stare at the double doors that a doctor would come out of to talk to the family of Dean Winchester. John held Mary’s hand, both worried for their eldest. Sam was currently at work- at the police station, oddly enough. There was no telling when Dean’s coworkers would come flooding into the waiting room. 

“Dean Winchester’s family?” A doctor called out. You, John, and Mary stood. “Hi, I’m Dr. Micheals. Surgery went well, and he’s awake now. Groggy, but awake. For now I’ll ask that you go see him one at a time.” He gave you a comforting smile. 

“Go.” Mary nudged you. “We’ll see him after.” 

Nodding, you followed the doctor to Dean’s room. “Thank you.” You said softly before stepping in. 

“Hey, babe.” He smiled. 

While a few tears had slipped out while you waited, hearing his voice broke the dam. Sobbing, you went over and gently kissed him. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” You cupped his cheek. 

“You’re stuck with me. For life.” He gave you that smirk that he knew just melted you. “I’m sorry about this past month. I had planned to talk to the chief after my shift about cutting back my hours some.” He rested his hand on your leg as you sat on the side of his bed. “And I know I’ll be on leave while I heal. So, I’m all yours. I’m not leaving your side.”

You smiled at that. “Alls forgiven.” You promised him. 

[tenelkadjowrites]

Wallflower - Part One - Seonghwa x Reader (NSFW)

PART TWO HERE.

🌻 Summary: Having not given much thought about your nerdy coworker, Seonghwa, all of that changes when you hear a rumor about his sexual prowess in bed. 

🌻 Word count: 13k

🌻 Genre & warnings: nerdy seonghwa with coworker reader. fem pronouns for reader. reader is drunk at one point. smut. some dirty talk. fingering, oral sex (reader receiving)

🌻 Tags are now moved to the bottom of the fic.

this fic is not meant to represent Seonghwa in any way, shape or form.

               “Sorry, I know I’m late,” You say with a huff, plopping down in the chair, clutching your coffee in one hand.

               “What kept you?” Your coworker and friend asks, glancing at the time on her phone, “We got here ten minutes ago.”  

               “Sir Dipshit was busy boring me to tears about the sales numbers for this week,” You reply with an eyeroll, “What did I miss?”

               It’s Thursday afternoon as well as your lunch break. As usual, your group of work friends met at the coffee shop across the street from the office. Sitting outside on the patio, the sun high in the sky with a light breeze, it would be a perfect day if you didn’t have to return to work soon. Sometimes, being inside all day at that desk is a bummer…more often than not recently, it’s been an incredible bummer.

               “Nothing much, we were just complaining about the usual,” Your other coworker says before taking a sip of her green tea.

               It is a daily event to go to the coffee shop at lunch and complain about everything – your coworkers, the corporation you all work for, the daily tasks. It is a ritual, something that gets everyone through the day, including yourself although lately it hasn’t been helping as much as it used to.

               “We have that office ‘party’ this weekend,” You remind them which elicits a series of groans among the small group, “And Sir Dipshit made it pretty clear it’s mandatory to attend.”

               Your boss, otherwise known as Sir Dipshit, lived to work and worked to live. The man had no existence outside of dedicating his entire life to a corporation that wouldn’t care if he dropped dead tomorrow. The last thing you felt like listening to was a lecture for the next twenty years about missing the event. It ended up being less pain just to suffer through it.  

               “At least the booze is free,” One of your coworkers points out.

               “Remember last year when that guy in senior management drank way too much and threw up on the bar counter? I live for the moments like that at these events,” Another coworker sighs wistfully, “It’s so funny plus gives everyone something to talk about Monday morning.”

               At that moment, someone cuts across the street, heading towards the coffee shop. You recognize the person as Seonghwa, who is technically on the same team as you although he works on the tech side. You say ‘technically’ because you can count the number of times you’ve spoken to him on one hand.

               One of your coworkers leans forward and whispers conspiratorially, “Speaking of things to talk about on Monday morning, guess what I heard about the resident nerd?”

               Confused, you glance over at Seonghwa who is almost at the door to the shop. Today, he wears a white button up shirt with black suspenders, matching slacks and shoes. His glasses are almost comically oversized, black frames that rest on the bridge of his nose that seem too large for his face. The wind is messing up his sandy blonde hair which he keeps trying in vain to smooth down as he walks over.

               “Someone is talking about Seonghwa?” You say doubtfully, “What is there to talk about?”

               Seonghwa is the biggest nerd you’ve ever met and it isn’t just the suspenders and the large glasses that give you that belief. His desk is littered with the sort of items you’ve always associated as nerdy and he’s always reading some gigantic book based off some sci-fi or fantasy thing. He also works in software and coding or something which means you never understand what the hell he is talking about most of the time during work meetings and tune him out.

               “Oh, this is a good one, trust me.”

               Seonghwa notices the group then and gives a small wave. Everyone halfheartedly waves back as he goes inside. You really doubt the rumor is going to be anything interesting. Seonghwa seems relatively harmless and you’ve given him such little thought over the past two years working near him that you doubt anything could suddenly make him interesting.

               But your gossipy coworker looks positively gleeful as she goes, “You remember how there was that big conference everyone in tech had to attend two weeks ago? They all flew out for it?” When you and the others nod, she continues, “Well, apparently Seonghwa hooked up with one of the regional IT managers.”

               You raise one eyebrow. “Okay, and? The most surprising thing about this is that Seonghwa is getting laid.”

               At this, one of the other coworkers speaks up, “Seonghwa is a nerd but he’s good looking. That’s not really surprising.”

               “I can’t tell if he’s good looking cuz his glasses are gigantic,” You fire back, “I didn’t realize there were people sitting here who wanted to fuck Park Seonghwa.”

               Everyone breaks into bickering at this remark until your coworker with the gossip speaks up loudly to silence everyone. “Okay, shut up please. I am not finished!” Once all attention is back on her, which she is clearly enjoying, she drops her voice to a whisper. “Anyway, Seonghwa hooked up with one of the regional managers after that big party they have on the last night of the conference. She said she figured why not because she’s a regional manager on the other side of the country so she didn’t have to worry about awkwardness in the work place –”

               “Can you please get to the point sometime this century?” You interrupt.

               She shoots you a scowl before saying, “She said not only was Seonghwa the best fuck she ever had but apparently he has a gigantic dick.”

               “Bullshit,” You counter immediately, “No way.”

               This creates another round of bickering about if Seonghwa could really be the best sexual encounter of someone’s life. You are steadfastly against the idea.

               “What about the trope about nerdy guys with big dicks?” Your gossipy coworker argues.

               “That’s fanfic shit,” You fire back, “Maybe this manager has just one or two other people she’s slept with so Seonghwa is the best out of a small sample size.”

               “Well, she said he ate pussy like a champ and dicked her down so well she could barely walk right the next day.”

               “Yeah, sure,” You scoff, “I’m not saying she didn’t sleep with him but maybe she’s…jazzing the encounter up to make a good story.”

               It is then that the subject of the gossip exits the coffee shop. Seonghwa gives the group another small wave and this time looks perplexed when everyone bursts into giggles as they return the motion. But he continues back to the office, holding a coffee in one hand. You watch him go, shaking your head.

               “Sorry, I just don’t believe it. A wallflower like that being some dynamo in bed? No fucking way.”

*

               Back at the office, you glance at the clock. An hour until I can get out of here, you think. It wasn’t that you hated your job, it was just that it was super fucking boring most of the time. But the money made it worth it – at least that’s what you told yourself when the alarm went off in the morning and you wanted to hide under the blankets.

               Idly, your eyes scan the room, landing on Seonghwa’s cubicle. Well, she said he ate pussy like a champ and dicked her down so well she could barely walk right the next day. You scoff quietly before pushing away from your desk, wandering over to Seonghwa’s cubicle.

               He is studying something on the computer screen, slightly leaned forward with his back towards you. Your eyes look over the small space. There are some things you recognize – little decorations like small lightsabers – but a lot of things that you have no idea what they are from or what they represent. His cubicle is incredibly tidy, organized with each personal item displayed at such a way that makes it clear he has decorated the space for himself and not to send out a certain image to his coworkers. Cubicles, the original method of creating a carefully curated image to put out into the world before Instagram, you think dryly.

               You hover there, wondering why the hell you came over here in the first place. But before you can leave, Seonghwa must sense someone standing there because he looks over his shoulder. At the sight of you, his eyes widen slightly and he swivels in his chair.

               “Ah, sorry! Were you waiting there long? I didn’t hear you say my name.” He ducks his head apologetically.

               “It’s fine,” You reply curtly, “I was just wondering if you were attending that work party this weekend. I’m trying to get a head count,” The lie comes swiftly and easily without much thought.

               Seonghwa pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. You study him for the first time, trying to see past the glasses, his messy hair and the dorky clothing. Seonghwa has always been slender, and tall, with almost a fragile delicateness to him. You’ve never given him much thought until now.

               “I plan to be there, yeah,” He says and then smiles brightly, “Are you going too?”

               “I am, yeah,” You grumble, “Anyway, thanks.”

               “You’re welcome!”

               You turn around, walking away from his cubicle. No, that didn’t clear up anything at all.

*

               As soon as it hits five, you shut the computer off and grab your bag, anxious to get the hell out of there. Sometimes, the office just felt so…small and suffocating. You wanted to get out immediately. Swinging your bag over your shoulder, you hastily walk towards the elevator. Half of the floor is doing the same with a few people staying late.

               Seonghwa is one of those. As you slow down your walking speed near his cubicle, you look in his direction. Seonghwa is turned to the side, flicking through a folder filled with papers. He looks focused, brow furrowed, as he tries to find something. His work lanyard sways slightly and his tongue is poking out a little from between his lips. He runs his fingers through his hair, paying no mind to how messy it already is.

               There is just no fucking way that rumor is true, you think again, frustrated with yourself for spending so much time mulling it over today.

               By the time you make it to the elevators, you have resolutely told yourself to put it out of your mind.

*

               “Do you want to go grab coffee?”

               “Girl, it’s ten in the morning. Little early for a break, you think?” Your coworker says in mild confusion.

               “Yeah, I guess so,” You mumble, “Didn’t realize it was that early.”

               “Anyway, I gotta finish up this TPS report this morning or Sir Dipshit is gonna have my head,” She pats you gently on the shoulder, “But we can grab coffee later, alright?”

               She walks past you quickly, already lost in thought. You stand there for a few seconds before turning around to head back to your cubicle. Seonghwa is walking across the room, heading towards the giant copier near the window. Today he has a light blue button up on with khaki slacks although the large black glasses still remain. Someone passes by him, saying good morning and Seonghwa looks up, smiling and returning the greeting.

               How can he look that happy here? You wonder, And how are his teeth so perfect looking? That’s something new you’ve noticed – his incredibly white teeth whenever he smiles.

               Before you can ask yourself what the hell you’re doing, you walk towards him. He doesn’t notice you at first, too busy fumbling with the copier that barely works properly on a good day. But when you get close enough, Seonghwa looks up.

               “Oh, good morning,” He says brightly, “How are you?”

               Something about his energy, his welcoming posture and his smile makes you feel exposed in some odd way.

               “I don’t want to be here,” You say automatically without thinking and then grow deeply embarrassed at your confession, “Sorry, I – hm. I shouldn’t have said that. That’s weird, right? I don’t know – I don’t know why I said that.”

               Seonghwa studies your face for moment and then replies, “No, it’s okay. Would you like to go to the break room with me and get a coffee? I forgot to have a cup before I came in.”

               Leaping at the excuse to not sit at your desk, you nod. Seonghwa glances at the copier and shrugs, giving up on making it work. You trail after him, wondering why in the world this rumor has made you seek him out yet again and why you just openly admitted to a relative stranger that you don’t want to be at work right now. I must be so fucking bored, you think.

               Walking a little bit behind Seonghwa, your eyes study the way the fabric of his shirt rests against his skin before looking at how his belt lays against his small waist. You try to imagine him fucking someone into the mattress but your mind comes up blank. The rumor being about this man in particular just doesn’t make sense.

               In the small break room, which is empty due to the time, Seonghwa begins to brew a pot of coffee, chattering the entire time. “I stayed here too late last night and I’m having a hard time getting going this morning. But I am hoping to finish this project before the weekend so I can move on from it. I feel like I’ve already spent too much time on it and I’m going to fall behind.”

               You sit down at the tiny break room table, making a small noise to indicate you’re listening.

               “I won’t have time to work on it this weekend because I had to move my plans around for that work party. Originally, I was gonna have my DnD session –”

               Confused, you speak up, “Your what session? What’s a….Do Not Disturb session?”

               This brings Seonghwa up short and he turns around, peering at you through his glasses. “No, my…Dungeons and Dragons session. You know?”

               You don’t know. You think you may have vaguely heard the name in the past because you have a mental image of people hunched over a table looking at a board game. It must show on your face because Seonghwa quickly keeps going.

               “But now it got moved to Saturday afternoon so I can make it on time which meant everyone else had to rearrange their schedules. Boy, I still haven’t heard the end of it.” He pours two cups of coffee, glancing over his shoulder, “Do you want cream and sugar?”

               You tell him your preference and he continues, “But the boss made it clear he’s gonna be pissed if we don’t go so I kinda feel like my hands are tied.” Seonghwa stirs your coffee and brings it over, resting it gently on the table before turning back around to make his. “I don’t really like work parties. I am not really a party person.”

               “You don’t say,” You retort dryly, unable to imagine Seonghwa at a club at all.

               He finishes with his coffee, sitting down across from you. This is the closest you’ve ever been to him. He smells like clean laundry. There isn’t a single wrinkle in his shirt. Everything about Seonghwa is a mixture of nerdy and professional.

               “Sorry, am I talking too much? I get told I’m a chatterbox.”

               “You’re fine. I don’t have anything interesting to say anyway, honestly. I just…didn’t feel like working this morning, I guess.” You look down at the cup of coffee, wondering why you feel increasingly uneasy at your job as of late.

               Seonghwa falls silent for a moment and when you look back up at him, he averts his gaze quickly, clearing his throat. “It’s the routine. Gets to all of us. That’s why our free time is so valuable. You have to make it worth something to remember life is more than just…this.” He gestures to the surroundings. “You know, this is the most I’ve talked to you, I think. I know our jobs are pretty different so we don’t overlap a lot though.”

               You hunch your shoulders forward, blowing on the coffee. Some part of you just wants to ask him – hey, I heard a rumor you’re a great fuck and I don’t understand how a thing could be possible. But that would be out of line so you keep it to yourself. You doubt Seonghwa is even aware such a rumor is going around about him.

               Seonghwa’s smart watch beeps then and he looks at it before mumbling a curse under his breath. “Sorry, I forgot I have a call I need to be on in five minutes,” He stands, “But I’ll see you around?”

               You are staring at the way that his long, slender fingers are curled around the disposable coffee cup. Were his fingers always that…dainty?

               Seonghwa says your name and it snaps you out of your staring, looking up at him. “Right, yes. I’ll see you around. Thank you for the coffee.”

               “It’s no problem,” He gives you a small wave, leaving you alone in the room with your thoughts.

*

               If there is one thing you’ve been increasingly disliking lately, it’s your job. The second thing? Staying late for the job. It is ten minutes past five and the anger you feel sitting at your desk while listening to Sir Dipshit is enough to make you shriek.

               You aren’t even sure what he is talking about. It began as a lecture about some e-mail you missed this morning and has now turned into a diatribe about his own day and how busy he is.

               You are trying to pinpoint when your job started feeling like a weight around your neck. You make good money. You work for a major corporation that offers job security. You have your own place. Everything is neatly lined up. But blurting out to Seonghwa, of all people, that you didn’t want to be here this morning has made you start to really think. And you aren’t sure that you are going to like the answer.

               As if conjured up by thinking about Seonghwa, he pops out of his cubicle with his bag, getting ready to leave for the day. As he brings his bag strap up around his shoulder, his shirt tightens for a split second against his chest. You blink, wonder if you just hallucinated how the fabric pulled against hard muscles. Seonghwa looked like he could be shoved in a body of water and his wet clothes could take him down. Thinking there was some hot body underneath all those clothes is just you creating things out of boredom.

               His eyes land on you and he gives you a small smile. Sir Dipshit is oblivious, still going on. You’ve made making sounds of interest while not hearing a single word an art form at this point. To your surprise, Seonghwa walks over to you, nodding his head over to Sir Dipshit.

               “Hey, I’m really sorry to interrupt but its ten minutes past five and I need to discuss something with her on the way out today,” He makes an apologetic face, “Sorry boss, I hope that’s alright.”

               Sir Dipshit looks mildly startled as if being woken up out of a deep sleep. For fucks sake, even his brain goes on auto pilot with boring everyone to death. You aren’t about to turn away a rescue and quickly get out of your chair, grabbing your bag swiftly.

               “Oh yeah, that’s right. That thing –”

               “Right, that thing,” Seonghwa says, nodding vigorously.

               “The thing with that call tomorrow! Yeah, let’s talk about that on the way out. Have a good night, sir,” You shoot this at your boss before turning around to walk out as quickly as possible to Seonghwa.

               “Alright, uh, good talk!” Sir Dipshit calls out after you, “See you tomorrow at the party!”

               Your back is to your boss as you rapidly press the elevator button. The doors glide open and you hurry inside as Seonghwa follows who immediately presses the button to shut the doors on the slim chance the boss wants to follow. He waves jovially until the doors shut.

               “Thanks,” You say, “Was it that obvious I was trapped?”

               “I just know how long he can talk for.”

               “Nice touch there with the ‘ten mins after five’ thing.”

               “Yeah, figured I would slide that in there and remind him the work day was technically over although honestly, I don’t think it stuck.”

               “Probably not but I still appreciate it. Can’t stand how much Sir Dipshit talks.”

               Seonghwa laughs at this, “‘Sir Dipshit’?”

               “Oh, you haven’t heard that one? Yeah, it’s just what we call him.”

               “I’ll have to keep it in mind.”

               Seonghwa smiles at you, the sort of smile that feels as though you are standing directly underneath the summer sun as it warms your skin. The elevator doors open and the two of you walk across the main entrance hall of the building which still has a few people buzzing around.

               “You park in employee parking?” You ask him, “What spot are you?”

               “Oh, my place is close enough that I bike to work,” Seonghwa replies as he slides his bag straps onto his shoulder so it is now a backpack, his thumbs slipping underneath the straps as he holds onto them.

               The sight of him in such a pose makes you think of those movies in which the nerds always walk like that. The only thing he’s missing is some tape around the middle part of his glasses. It strikes you once more how Seonghwa is just so not your type. Maybe the regional manager in Wherever the Hell city went for nerds like him but not you. No wonder she thought fucking him was the best sex of her life – Seonghwa is a walking nerd stereotype.

               “Oh,” You say, mostly because the idea of biking to work seems so foreign of a concept, “I have to drive like twenty minutes or so to my place. You don’t have a car?”

               “I do! It’s just…a gigantic piece of shit so I try not to drive it too much. Trust me, my bike is safer most times,” He replies, holding the door open for you.

               “Thanks,” You say, stepping out into the evening air.

               The sun is dipping behind the city skyline which makes you feel wistful. It seems like such a shame to spend all day inside.

               “Well, I should head out now. I wanna pick up this new Lego kit that got released today. It’s of an Imperial Star Destroyer and I placed a preorder on it months ago.”

               “Legos? Like those…building kits? With the blocks?”

               “Yup,” He says cheerfully, “I love building Lego kits. It’s relaxing and keeps my hands busy.”

               Reflexively, you glance at his hands wrapped around the straps of his bag. You swallow hard, feeling weird for some reason.

               “You uh…like keeping your hands busy?” You say and immediately regret saying something that could be perceived as flirting.

               But Seonghwa seems clueless to any potential interpretation and just nods. “Yeah, I also like painting those miniatures for DnD, you know?”

               You absolutely don’t so you just give a non-committal nod. You picture him painting a tiny teapot or something, a look of avid concentration on his face as he worked, the tip of his tongue poking out as his long fingers hold onto a small brush.

               “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow night,” He says, nodding his head at you, “Have a good night.”

               “Yeah, you too.”

               Seonghwa turns around, walking confidently down the sidewalk to the other side of the building where his bike must be waiting. You watch him as he goes, taking note of how his legs take long strides and people subtly move out of his way. Once he is gone out of view, you slowly make your way to your car, unlocking it and sliding into the driver seat. You stare at nothing in particular, wondering why you feel the way you do. It’s a mixture of dread at the work event tomorrow, anger that your little time away from the office is spent with people from the office, and something else that you cannot pinpoint.

               It’s relaxing and keeps my hands busy.

               “You’re really losing it,” You say aloud to yourself and start the car.

*

               The rain smears the lights of the bar, distorting the building into a dark, grey smudge. You have delayed going inside for ten minutes now, struggling to motivate yourself into yet another ‘team event’. A few years ago, you didn’t mind these things. They were a bit dull but still manageable. But now, you can’t ignore the pit of dread in your stomach at spending more time around people you already spend too much time around.

               With a small intake of breath, you get out of the car, scurrying quickly to the overhang before you can get too wet. Then, as if preparing yourself for battle, you exhale slowly and open the door.

               You’ve arrived an hour late, something that you know Sir Dipshit will take note of, but it proved an impossible feat to get there on time given your mood. Your band of coworkers notice you immediately, waving you over.

               Your eyes scan the crowd as you walk over, greeting them. It is too early in the night for anyone to be drunk yet and so the air is stiff, slightly formal, with top 40 pop radio playing a little too loudly.

               “Fuck, you’re so late,” One of your coworkers says, “We were just wondering if you were gonna blow it off.”

               “And I said you wouldn’t because Sir Dipshit would never let you live it down. And also that if you didn’t at least tell us you weren’t coming, we would be pissed.”

               “Right,” You reply, not listening very much at all.

               “Hello?” Your gossipy coworker waves her hand in front of your face, “Who are you looking for?”

               “What?” Startled, you look around at the table, “I wasn’t looking for anyone. Just was seeing who was here.”

               “No one interesting, if that is what you’re hoping,” chimes in one of your coworkers.

               “Although,” Your gossipy coworker leans forward, lowering her voice, “Seonghwa is here tonight and I’m bored enough to want to see if the rumors about him are true.”

               “He’s here?”

               Your coworker motions in his direction with her drink. You follow to see Seonghwa at the bar alone, nursing a water. No one is talking to him but he doesn’t seem to mind much. He’s idly bobbing his head to the music while checking something on his phone.

               Tonight, he’s wearing…are those yellow suspenders? You groan inwardly. His shirt is also a very pale yellow with small blue buttons. His pants are a soft grey, a belt looping around his waist with his shirt tucked in. As usual, his hair is a bit of a mess. He looks like a total dork, you think dismally.

               “Looking tragic as usual,” One of your coworkers remarks with a giggle, “Please tell me you’re not actually going to try to have sex with him.”

               Your gossipy coworker shrugs. “I mean, that rumor is pretty alluring. Maybe his nerd act is just a front and there’s something nasty lurking underneath.”

               Your brain flashes back to him making you coffee in the break room, not minding it was ten in the morning or the fact you had blurted out that you didn’t want to be there. You suddenly are bored of the conversation and bored of talking about Seonghwa as if he is unauthentic.

               “I’m gonna go get a drink,” You murmur, leaving the table and all their discussions of Seonghwa and what he is like in bed behind.

               To your chagrin, Sir Dipshit sees you and waves you over. In no mood to talk to him, you wave back, pretending that you don’t understand he is trying to beckon you. At the bar counter, you order something, mentally calculating how much time you can spend here before leaving and not hearing any complaints from either your coworkers or boss.

               As you wait for the drink, you idly glance down the bar. Seonghwa is all the way at the other side. Someone is talking to him although you don’t recognize who. He seems engaged in an easy conversation, his shoulders relaxed. He shakes his hair out of his eyes and leans back against the bar counter. The shirt tightens against his chest and upper arms –

               Okay, you’re not hallucinating. Seonghwa definitely is in shape judging by the muscles pressing against the fabric. You swallow hard, your eyes trailing down his stomach to his waist.  

               She said not only was Seonghwa the best fuck she ever had but apparently he has a gigantic dick.

               “Ma’am?”

               Snapped out of your thoughts, you turn your attention to the bartender who has clearly tried to get your attention multiple times. Mumbling an apology, you take the drink. Your cheeks feel a little warm so you take a swig, liking the way it burns on the way down.

               You are looking for your gossipy coworker, wondering if she was really going to try to sleep with Seonghwa. For some reason, the idea of having to listen to her talk about it makes you wanna scream and you aren’t even sure why. But the growing crowd has swallowed her up. Why do I give a shit if she has sex with Seonghwa? I barely thought about the guy until that rumor anyway.

               “Hey.”

               The voice startles you, lowering your gaze directly in front of you. Seonghwa stands there. Up this close, the lights of the bar lay across his skin as if cozying up to him. He still is holding onto his water, his long fingers circled around the cup casually. You swallow, looking away from his hands.

               “Oh, hey, Seonghwa,” You try to think of something to ask that isn’t tied to the rumor about him and his big dick, “How was your…uh what was it again?”

               “DnD?”

               “Yeah, that.”

               “Well, the group was still upset we had to shift the time back and the session was cut to six hours.”

               “Six…hours?”

               “Yeah, we usually aim for…maybe eight or more, depending. Enough to make good progress in the campaign.”

               You have absolutely no idea what the hell he is talking about so you just nod.

               “Hongjoong, oh sorry, that’s my best friend, well, we were supposed to do a dungeon today and he was upset cuz we didn’t finish it like we hoped cuz San’s bard got cursed so that sorta derailed everything.”

               “The bard got cursed,” You deadpan.

               “Yeah, Yeosang didn’t roll high enough so we got sidelined by dealing with that. But I mean, that is just part of the campaign right? It’s Jongho’s first time being dungeon master and he’s spent weeks putting this whole thing together. We weren’t sure how it was going to go because typically Hongjoong is the dungeon master but Jongho really wanted to try it.”

               You have understood exactly two or three words the entire time Seonghwa is speaking but you are actually kinda relieved to be talking about something that has nothing to do with work. Taking another swig of your drink, you think of a question so Seonghwa will keep going.

               “Do you do this every week?”

               “Oh no, it would be too hard to try to have everyone’s schedule sync up weekly. There’s eight of us, after all. So sometimes a couple times a month – that’s what we shoot for.”

               “Oh there you are,” Your coworker interrupts, slinking up with their empty glass, casting a glance over at Seonghwa before looking at you knowingly.

               Their expression makes you feel defensive although you can’t pinpoint why. Flustered, you say, “Was just getting a drink.”

               “Hi Seonghwa,” Their smile is slow and lazy across their face, “How are you?”

               If Seonghwa has any idea as to why they are acting odd, he doesn’t show it. He just smiles in that bright way of his, greeting them by name. Your nerves are buzzing underneath your skin and you gulp down the rest of your drink before turning to the bartender, motioning for another one.

               “Wow, making sure to take advantage of the free bar,” Your coworker quips in a tone that you mislike – in fact, you are starting to question your friendship with everyone in this entire building.

               “You know it,” You mumble although your coworker doesn’t hear.

               Seonghwa, however, does, and the look he shoots in your direction makes you feel as if he is rooting around in your brain and seeing every dreadful thought you’ve ever had.

*

               Two hours later, you are drunk.

               It is a mistake and you know it. You’ve never gotten drunk at a work function before. It’s unprofessional, for one, and secondly, drunk people at work parties tend to always make asses out of themselves.

               But wow! It made talking to everyone so much easier. The mundane conversations about work slide through your brain like a lazy river in which you mentally bob in. Your coworkers, who are rehashing the same gossip they have all week – which unfortunately means more discussions about Seonghwa’s sexual prowess in bed – are pleasant hummings in your ear that you steadfastly ignore.

               At some point, you have found a quiet corner that is near the bathrooms and the back exit. Slumped against the wall, you close your eyes as the floor wobbles unsteadily underneath your feet. You’re going to have to either Uber or ask for a ride home from a coworker. Neither sounds enticing but since you can’t drive, it’s your own fault. Surely, two hours is enough time here. Sir Dipshit will be too swept up in the drunken dancing that has started on the dance floor since everyone is now feeling intoxicated enough to embarrassingly do that in front of one another.

               “Fuck, there you are. I’ve spent ten minutes looking for you,” Your gossipy coworker has suddenly appeared, ruining the solace of the spot you’ve found, “I’m bored and heading out. I tried talking to that Seonghwa guy a couple times and it’s like listening to paint dry. No sex is worth that. Are you coming with me? You clearly can’t drive,” You’re staring at your shoes and don’t reply. Your coworker huffs, “It’s really not like you to get plastered at these events. You’ve been acting so weird for months now.”

               “Sorry,” You mumble although some part of your brain is annoyed that she is bringing this up now when she is well aware that you’re not sober.

               “It’s fine, whatever. Just make sure you get an Uber or something, alright? We can get your car after work Monday.”

               You hear the click clack of her heels as she saunters off, leaving you alone again. You’re feeling sleepy. It tugs on your brain like an annoying child. If the world stopped spinning for half a second…well, until then you will stay right here.

               You aren’t sure how much time actually passes but someone’s shoes come into view next to yours as you stare at the floor. Surprised, you raise your head and find yourself looking at Seonghwa. A new song kicks up, with a heavy bass that seems to thrum up along your spine and into your brain.

               “Seonghwa,” You mumble, blinking a few times to make yourself appear less intoxicated.

               It doesn’t seem to work because he goes, “Hey, are you alright?”

               For some reason, lying to him doesn’t enter your mind. “No. Also, I’m drunk.”

               “I sorta gathered that,” But there is nothing mean in his words, it is just merely noting a factual observation.

               Your hazy gaze focuses on Seonghwa. He appears to be perfectly sober. You recall him drinking water earlier. Good idea. You should have done the same. Now, a headache that is thumping in time to the music is beginning to grow louder. Your eyes drop down across the curve of his neck to his shoulders down to his small waist and you swallow, closing your eyes for a moment to banish whatever the hell is going on with you.

               “Excuse me,” Someone says, storming past the two of you to head to the bathroom, colliding into Seonghwa as if he isn’t even there and pushing him towards you.

               But your reaction speed is terrible, slowed by the alcohol and when your hands go to his abdomen to stop him from colliding, it is like an electric current snapping all the way to your thighs. Seonghwa is extremely close but there is no booze scent clinging to his clothes. And to your utter shock, the skin underneath your hands is firm and toned. Fuck, you think dizzily, see, I wasn’t making it up. But it didn’t matter if Seonghwa was fit or not – he just simply is not your type. You barely understand what he’s talking about most of the time.

               He says something then but the music is too loud as is the rushing of blood to your head. His lips move, lips that are way too pretty and plump, by the way, not that you care, and you shrug, unable to hear what he is asking. He looks inquisitive but you’re distracted by how lithe and slender he is. Too pretty! Not your type! You scold yourself.

               “Do you wanna dance?” You blurt out, cutting whatever he is saying off.

               His eyes widen through his thick frames. Your hands are on his waist now and the two of you are almost pressed against one another. His cheeks are slightly flushed with just a hint of colour and when he swallows, his Adam’s apple bobs. He replies but you give a frustrated shake of your head.

               “I can’t hear you!” You shout, probably way too loudly.

               Seonghwa leans forward, centimeters from your body. He is bringing his face towards your neck and your heart skips a beat so intensely that for one drunken second you worry it’s going to pop out of your chest.

               “I don’t really dance,” His voice seems to fill up your entire brain, taking over every sense you have, the cadence of his speech making your head swirl.

               You think about the rumor about him and for the first time, maybe because you are drunk, allow yourself to wonder if it is actually true. There are lots of stereotypes about nerds – and not just that they have big dicks like your coworker said. There is the stereotype of them being virgins, fumbling around with no knowledge as to what to do. You just assumed Seonghwa belonged in that group from the little interactions you’ve had with him.

               But if you were wrong…

               When he pulls away, his face is near yours. He looks shy and when he glances downward, you know he is looking at your hands on his hips. You wonder if he is hard, wonder if you pulled him against you if you’d feel his big hard dick against your thigh. Your eyes flick to his hands, nervously flexing at his sides. Without the sober shield filtering out the thoughts you’ve been trying to steadfastly ignore since the rumor landed in your ears, you think about how fucking long his fingers are and how they’d feel buried in your cunt. For someone who isn’t your type, it sure is difficult not to want him.

               Seonghwa pulls away then, tugging on the collar of his shirt for a couple of seconds. Your hands fall away from his body, his absence like a bucket of cold water being dumped on your head.

               “You’re drunk,” This sentence is loud enough to hear – although is it directed at you or a reminder to him?

               “I heard a rumor about you,” Your words are slurred.

               “About me?” He says incredulously and then goes, “Should I call you an Uber?”

               “Is your shitty little car here? Can you drive me home? I don’t…” It’s so difficult to concentrate in here. “I don’t feel safe being drunk in an Uber. I feel safe with you.”

               The admission would take you by surprise if you weren’t spending a ton of energy in trying to stand upright. You’re so tired and the booze is tugging you downward.

               Seonghwa looks taken aback but he nods. “Yeah, I drove here tonight. I’ll take you home.”

               “Thank you,”

               He glances at the crowded bar and gives a small shake of his head before pointing to the back exit. “Let’s go this way.”

               You slur out some sort of affirmative answer as Seonghwa carefully leads you out into the night air. The fresh air makes your head spin and for a split second, you worry about throwing up. Luckily, you keep it together and Seonghwa takes you safely around the side of the bar towards his car.

               “Wow, what a piece of shit,” You remark at the sight of the rust bucket.

               “‘She may not look like much, kid, but she’s got it where it counts’,” Seonghwa recites as he unlocks the car and opens the passenger door for you.

               Swaying on your feet, you go, “Are you quoting something at me?”

               “It’s from Star Wars. Well, episode four, specifically.”

               “Right, I knew that. I saw that one. I think.” You manage to get into the car without making a complete ass of yourself.

               Seonghwa ducks his head inside to bring your seatbelt across from you, buckling it in securely. Some of his hair falls in front of his face while doing so and you can smell the faint hint of jasmine.

               “You smell good,” You mumble, “What shampoo is that?”

               He chuckles softly, pulling away and closing the door, walking around the car to slide into the driver’s seat. His car is clean even though it’s so old that it has a CD player. It also vibrates a lot as if the engine is trying to escape.

               You rest your head against the back of the seat, so tired that you are going to doze off any second. Synthwave music plays quietly as Seonghwa snaps in his own seatbelt.

               “What’s your address? Hey, don’t fall asleep yet on me.”

               You tilt your head in his direction, opening your eyes. He is looking at you with his fingers curled around the steering wheel. You wonder what it’d be like to sit in his lap. You wonder what noises he makes when he is turned on.

               "I heard a rumor about you,” You say again sleepily.

               “Yeah, you mentioned although I don’t know what anyone has to say about me. What, do they say I LARP or…still use IRC or something?”

               “Dunno what either of those are.”

               In the darkness of the car, the lights from the radio and CD player dance across Seonghwa’s skin. You want to pull on his suspenders when you ride him. Your thighs clench. You can’t recall a time you’ve been this horny recently and it’s over the nerdiest guy to ever work in the office. Something is totally wrong with you, as confirmed by your coworker earlier in the night.

               Seonghwa angles his body towards you, one hand still on the steering wheel. “Then what is it?”

               A very tiny logical part of you is trying to get yourself to shut up. But the much larger drunken part of you is not thinking clearly, is not even thinking ahead a little bit at all so you blurt out, “There’s a rumor going around that you’re really good at sex.”

               Seonghwa’s eyes widen so large that you might as well fall into them. It’s too dark to know if he is blushing but he turns away from you, staring out the front dash of the car.

               Oblivious to whatever he might be feeling, you continue, “And also that you have a big dick.”

               “W-what?!” He exclaims, still unable to look at you.

               “Right? That’s what I said. I said…no way! No offense.”

               He is silent, mulling this over. In fact, you are almost half asleep by the time he replies carefully, “That’s why everyone is talking to me this week. I was wondering why…I just thought…I don’t know what I thought…” He sounds almost dejected and it makes you feel sad. “I mean, including you.”

               Suddenly feeling ashamed, you try to say something but the words come out garbled because your drunken brain doesn’t jive well with the sudden panic that hits you.

               But Seonghwa shakes his head, brushing the word salad to the side. “You’re drunk so we won’t talk about it now.”

               You go quiet as does he. The silence seems to stretch into infinity. You want to apologize but he isn’t wrong. You did start talking to him because of the rumor. Maybe that makes you just as bad as your gossipy coworker debating having sex with him. But then you think once again of the kind way he made you coffee, and the fact he had you exit the bar from the back so everyone wouldn’t see how drunk you are. You weren’t lying when you told him that he made you feel safe. But you’re just too drunk to try to formulate any of that into words.

               Your eyes close, losing the battle against sleep. You are distantly aware of Seonghwa asking for your address again but it’s too late and you drift off.

*

               When your eyes open next, they are looking at an unfamiliar ceiling, your head is throbbing and your mouth is so dry that your tongue is stuck to the roof of it. With a small groan, you sit up slightly, trying to remember what the hell happened and where you are.

               You’re in someone’s bed which would be alarming if you weren’t still completely dressed in your clothes from last night. The only thing missing are your shoes since you spot your large purse next to the closed door. The bed sheets smell clean and you aren’t even under the covers, just laying unceremoniously on the top. There is a dresser on one side of the room that has a familiar looking robot built out of Lego parts resting on the top.

               It’s the sight of Legos that bring a whole slew of memories back to you. The drinking, your coworkers discussing Seonghwa – oh God, Seonghwa. You recall the way he looked, how he felt so close to you, him offering to drive you home and then –

               You groan again, burying your face in your hands. Fuck, I told him about the rumor, my big drunk mouth. He had looked crestfallen, hadn’t he? He must have assumed the random uptick in people talking to him this week had been for a reason but not for that…

               Including you.

               The words he uttered bounce around in your head, the guilt sliding around in your stomach like disgusting jelly. For a split second, you think you’re going to vomit because of the hangover but manage to hold things down. Very carefully, you swing your legs out of bed and stand up, closing your eyes as your head throbs painfully.

               Stopping only briefly to look at a bookshelf in the corner that had the largest and nerdiest assortment of books possible, you open the bedroom door and step out into the living room.

The living room is just a tidy space, clean and comfortable. The window shows the blue sky and the tops of trees, indicating you’re not on the ground floor. There is a stack of books on the glass coffee table. A large PC is near the window with three monitors. Another small table near the front door has a low hanging light over it, littered with paints and miniatures alongside multiple Lego boxes on a smaller shelf.

The couch has a pillow and a blanket on it. Another stab of guilt hits your chest. He had given up his bed for you.

               You hover in the doorway, taking in the fact that the living room is somehow exactly what you expected and not at all.  Slowly, you walk across the space towards the kitchen where you find Seonghwa. He is making coffee and looks up at the sound of you entering.

               “Hey,” You say quietly, “What uh…time is it?”

               “It’s a little past ten. So, not too late. Would you like some coffee?”

               “Would it be alright if I took a shower? I don’t want to impose. It just helps with the hangover.”

               Seonghwa is in an oversized Star Wars long sleeved shirt and sweatpants. His socks have odd looking dice on them that you don’t recognize. His large glasses rest on the bridge of his nose as usual. It’s the first time you’ve seen him wearing something other than business attire.

               “Sure, let me just get you the towels. Uhm, would you like some clothes? I can dig out some older clothes of mine, if you’d like.”

               “Yeah, thanks.”

               A few minutes later, Seonghwa is handing you towels, a large black shirt with a faded design on it (from a video game, he explained) and sweatpants. You rummage around your purse to dig up your emergency Stayed The Night makeup bag. This was the first time you were using it after just sleeping over at a guy’s house and not having sex with him. But you’re glad it’s in there since it has toothpaste, a small toothbrush and some other items you need.

               It’s always a gamble going into any man’s bathroom, and it is with a tentative push of the door that you step inside. However, just like the living room, it is clean and organized. Seonghwa even has actual skincare products by the sink. The shower is clean with high end shampoo, conditioner and body wash (also all in separate bottles!).

               Underneath the hot water, you wash off the night before. You wash off avoiding Sir Dipshit, you wash off the fact you feel disconnected from your coworkers, you even wash off your gossipy coworkers remark about how you’ve been different.

               But you can’t wash off the expression your drunken brain still remembers when you told Seonghwa the rumor. And you can’t wash off the way you felt around him last night when you asked him to dance nor the thoughts you had about him. You haven’t been that turned on around someone in so long. It’s cuz you were drunk, you argue with yourself. Seonghwa just isn’t your type.

               After the shower, you dry off, finish cleaning up and change into Seonghwa’s clothes. The shirt is soft, well worn, baggy on your frame and the sweatpants are a little long. But they smell nice and are comfortable. You stare at yourself in the mirror, running your fingers over the fabric. I need to make things right with him. He’s a nice person and he’s been kind to me and now he thinks I only started talking to him because of the rumor.

               And to make matters worse, that’s the truth.

*

               Seonghwa is sitting on the couch, two cups of coffee perched on the table. He has a book open in his lap, reading quietly. Tentatively, you sit down opposite him, reaching for the coffee while peering at the cover of the book. It’s some Star Wars book. It looks older than you expected, well worn, and there’s a man has blue skin with red eyes on the cover.

               “Thanks for letting me use your shower…and your clothes. And uh…for getting me here safely. And for taking me out the back way so no one saw I was being a messy drunk.”

               Seonghwa rests the book next to his coffee, picking up the cup and taking a small sip. The silence is starting to feel awkward now and you wish he would say something.

               So, you decide just to leap into it. “Listen, about what I said last night. About the ah…. rumor.” Your cheeks feel warm from just mentioning it. You never thought you’d actually be discussing this with him.

               Seonghwa’s hands wrap around the cup as he looks shyly down. His lashes are long, longer than when you spend too much on an overpriced mascara to try to get the same effect.

               “Can you…explain how you heard something like this about me?” Seonghwa asks quietly, his cheeks turning slightly pink.

               You push through how awkward this is going to be and tell him the entire story of how your coworker mentioned it over coffee. By the time you are done, Seonghwa has turned a deep crimson, his coffee long forgotten after being placed back on the table because he is so embarrassed. Silence hangs in between the two of you for a minute or so. You don’t press him to speak, figuring he deserves some time to sort out how he’s feeling about the entire thing.

               “It’s true that I went to the conference and slept with that regional manager. I figured since she lived across the country, it wouldn’t really matter,” He squirms uncomfortably, “I didn’t think she would talk about it and I certainly didn’t think it would spread all over the office. I didn’t know why there was an uptick in people talking to me this week. I didn’t ever dream it could be tied to…that. When it came to us…I guess I thought…uhm maybe you and I were becoming friends.”

               You feel a pang in your chest and move closer to Seonghwa, trying to salvage the conversation. “We are friends,” As soon as the words leave your mouth, you know they’re true. Maybe the two of you are very different but Seonghwa still makes you feel safe and seems to see you in a way that everyone else is missing.

               But he looks doubtful. “But you only started talking to me because…” He glances at you only for a split second. “Were you trying to…I mean…you and I…” He trails off, wringing his hands together.

               You stare at his hands, swallowing. No, you’re not my type. I was curious but there isn’t any attraction there, is what you want to say. The words would be so easy. A quick band-aid over a situation that has gotten out of hand.

               “That explains last night. Before we left,” He mumbles bashfully, “I thought maybe I was reading too much into it but you wanted to dance and…” He can’t finish his sentence again but you don’t need him to; you still clearly can recall how it felt to be that close to him and all the lascivious thoughts that popped into your head. You also can’t deal with the fact Seonghwa was worried he was reading too much into it when you were obviously all over him.

               You feel stuck. To tell him that you hadn’t thought about him in that way last night would be a lie. But to tell him would be admitting aloud to yourself that Seonghwa, the nerdiest guy you’ve ever met, is someone you’re attracted to. You’ve been protesting the entire time, to your coworkers, and to yourself that Seonghwa isn’t your type and you don’t see him that way. But…

               You feel nervous which is strange because you can’t recall the last time you were nervous around someone you found attractive. But Seonghwa, who seems to be as fragile as fine china, is in your hands at this moment. One wrong move and you’re going to drop him and make things even worse.

               “Well…uh…usually, you know, I don’t go for the…nerdy type.” Would he be insulted by that? “I was curious because I couldn’t picture such a thing. Like you…being like that. In bed. With the…you know.” You gesture vaguely, unable to mention his rumored big dick again now that you’re sober.

               “Right, yeah, of course,” He says quickly, too quickly, “I get that. And I know what people are like when drunk. Not thinking clearly.” Seonghwa looks as if he wants to flee which only makes you talk faster.

               “But you were so nice to me. With the coffee. I’ve been…struggling with work lately.” That puts it mildly. “And you were there when I needed someone. And I wasn’t…lying. Last night. When I said that I feel safe with you.”

               He looks a little more comforted by this, enough that he is looking up at you through those long lashes.

               “But I also…You know…uhm…” You trail off, unsure how to word the next part. Seonghwa looks at you curiously. God, it would be so easy to lie and let him believe I was just drunk last night and that was the end of it, you think.

               In fact, any regular person would leap at the lie and use it as a cover. But Seonghwa is still wringing his fucking hands together and you keep watching his fingers and you can’t believe it but you think you’re getting wet again – and this time you can’t blame booze. His entire posture, a mixture of tense and awkward, is strangely endearing. You quickly wonder what he would sound like in bed again and then try to banish the thought.

               You’ve been quiet for so long that Seonghwa gently goes, “You were saying?”

               But you aren’t really sure what you’re saying. Naturally, that means you keep going. “I do…wonder. If…maybe you’d want to…as friends…with benefits. Because like I said you’re not my type but my body seems to be like…reacting to you…ever since I heard the rumor. And I want to know if the rumor has merit.”

               Wow, amazing. Fantastic speech. Not only were most of your sentences unfinished but you basically asked Seonghwa to have sex with you just to see how your body responds like it’s a science experiment.

               Seonghwa is turning red again. His voice is slightly hoarse when he replies with, “Are you – ah. Are you asking to have sex with me? As friends?”

               “Y…yes.”

               Seonghwa’s breathing quickens and he looks away for a moment. You immediately want to crawl in a hole and hide.

               “I’m sorry,” You say hastily, “I don’t know what’s come over me. I tell you we’re friends and then immediately ask you for sex after offending you with some ridiculous rumor.” Your hands grip your knees, bracing yourself to stand up and to get out of here as quickly as possible. “Listen, I’m going to get my stuff and go. I’m just gonna Uber back to my place, don’t worry about it –”

               Seonghwa’s hand suddenly rests gently on top of yours. The touch knocks the breath out of your lungs. You stare at the sight of his long fingers extending over yours, his hand warm against your skin.

               “Okay,” is all he says quietly.

               Hardly daring to look up from the sight of his hand, you lock eyes with him. He is still blushing but looks resolute.

               “Uhm,” You exhale, “Sorry, I’ve never started a sexual encounter like this before.”

               “Me either,” Seonghwa shifts nervously and then says, “How about I just kiss you and if you like it, we can keep going? If you don’t feel anything, then it’s just the rumor clogging your head.”

               “S-sure.”

               Seonghwa carefully raises his other hand up towards your cheek, brushing against your skin with the back of his fingers. You shiver at the small touch, staring at him as he shifts closer to you. Acutely aware of how utterly surreal this is, you can only look at him as he cups your cheek. He grazes your lips with his thumb and your lips reflexively part at the touch. Your entire body feels as if it is tingling.

               You try to tamper down any expectations when Seonghwa leans forward to kiss you. You’re expecting the kiss to be awkward and messy in that unskilled way. You are waiting for him not to know what to do with his tongue and just roll it around in your mouth. Then, you’d tell him thanks but the rumor obviously had taken over your mind and it is better to remain friends without benefits.

               But then Seonghwa’s lips do touch yours as you close your eyes. It is a jolt to all your senses, white noise in your head as he kisses you so gently at first that you could imagine the touch. Your breath catches, heart rate accelerating as the kiss continues. His hand resting on top of yours gives a small squeeze, his other hand trailing to the back of your neck.

               You can feel yourself melting into the kiss, the tension seeping out of your body as Seonghwa’s tongue slips inside your mouth. There is a heat blossoming in your chest as your thighs clench. He trails small circles against your skin on your lower neck, making you shiver. Your tongue is against his now, your hand moving upwards to grip the front of his shirt, crumpling the Star Wars image up in your fist. He makes a small noise that only spurns you on more. You pull on the shirt so that he is closer, sliding into his lap, straddling him on the couch.

               Something drives you forward with reckless abandon, throwing caution to the wind and replacing it with desire. Seonghwa seems to mirror your feelings, his hands moving to your lower back, wiggling underneath the shirt to touch your bare skin. He presses down slightly, pushing you against him.

               You can feel the bulge in his sweatpants now and with a jolt, you think that maybe the rumor about the size is going to be true. Your hands are in his hair, his soft blonde locks curled around your fingers as the kissing continues.

               Your hangover is now a distant thought; making out with Seonghwa seems to be a miracle cure for a headache. Instinctively, you grind your hips against his bulge and he inhales sharply. His hands move to your ass, gripping the tender flesh there in his hands in a silent urge for you to keep going. You rock your hips against him, your pussy soaking wet. So much for just a kiss, you think dryly, marveling at the way your body responds to Seonghwa.

               His phone suddenly rings, jolting you a little by the noise. He glances over at it – it is on the kitchen counter – and gives a small shake of his head.

               “Ignore it,” He mumbles and you don’t mind doing that at all, resuming the kiss easily.

               The phone falls silent. Seonghwa’s breathing is heavy, mingling with your own, and kissing is becoming not enough. You want more and when he begins to kiss down your jawline and your neck, you reach behind you to take one of his hands and bring it forward, guiding him underneath the band of your sweatpants.

               He doesn’t hesitate now that you’ve given silent permission. You’ve been thinking about his hands ever since the rumor made you turn attention towards him and now Seonghwa presses his palm against the front of your underwear as his lips find yours again.

               You don’t think you’ve ever been this wet in your life. When the kiss breaks, you take in the sight of Seonghwa, breathless, his chest rising and falling quickly. His cheeks are tinted pink and his eyes are wide behind his large frames. You think about the times you’ve taken note of him in the past – a couple seconds of walking past him quickly in the hallway, not paying any attention because he came off as such a wallflower or zoning out when he talked in a meeting because you never could understand what he was saying and it made you feel stupid and insecure, and even the couple of times you giggled over someone making a joke at his expense. And now here you are, in his lap, with his hand against your cunt and every nerve in your body screaming for him. Jokes on me.

               Seonghwa pushes your underwear to the side, his fingers probing your folds as he leans forward and kisses you again. The sensation of his fingers touching you is making you dizzy. From this angle, it’s too difficult for his fingers to enter you which is about the only thing in the entire world you want at this moment.

               Muffled because of the kissing, you mumble, “Will you – your fingers –”

               To your surprise, Seonghwa smiles for a second against your lips. You pull away, just enough to see his expression. “What?” You ask.

               “Nothing, I just…I noticed you looking at my hands a lot the past few days.”

               Now it is your turn to feel embarrassed. “Oh, I…” You don’t really know what to say. It’s difficult to think when all you want is him.

               “Here, sit next to me,” He pats the space next to him and you slide off his lap.

               Seonghwa then gets on the floor in front of you, reaching upwards and sliding your sweatpants off your hips, leaving you in just your underwear and his borrowed t-shirt. He brings two fingers to the front of your underwear, pressing down on the fabric. “Well, she said he ate pussy like a champ.” Your coworker’s words bounce around in your head as Seonghwa removes your underwear and pushes your legs open so that you’re spread out in front of him.

               It’s a bit surreal to be in Seonghwa’s apartment on a Sunday morning, sitting on his couch half naked, with him on his knees in front of your pussy. His hands grip your thighs, pushing your legs apart as far as comfortable. You stare at the way his fingers dig into your skin, wanting nothing more than to have them buried in your cunt just to see what it feels like.

               But he leans forward and very carefully, using just the tip of his tongue, he flicks it across your swollen clit. You shudder, gasping but Seonghwa keeps a firm grip on your thighs to keep you spread in front of him. He doesn’t stop, using the tip of his tongue to stimulate your clit. Your hands grip the cushions of the couch, unable to tear your gaze away from the sight of Seonghwa’s tongue brushing against your nub. His eyes are closed and no matter how much your body shakes from the pleasure, his hold on your thighs doesn’t lessen, keeping you in place.

               You are cursing loudly, taken aback by just how good he can make you feel with the tip of his tongue. His pace steadily increases against your clit. Your hips buck but he doesn’t stop, his tongue expertly dancing over your sensitive nub.

               Distantly, you are aware his phone is ringing again. But he doesn’t stop and you aren’t about to bring things to a halt for a fucking phone call. You thought Seonghwa would be messily rolling his tongue around – or even worse, just focusing on your hole and wondering why you couldn’t finish. The rumor saying he could eat pussy seemed as ridiculous as all the other aspects of what your coworker told you.

               Forcing your eyes open, you look down at Seonghwa working your clit. There is something sexy about how he looks, with his eyes closed, using just the tip to make you feel this good, and his hands holding you in place. Even his glasses, usually something you found so dorky before, look good on him now.

               He still hasn’t put his fingers inside you but your climax is rapidly approaching. You want to try to tell him you’re close but speaking is impossible. All that leaves your mouth are garbled noises of pleasure and occasionally you whine out his name. Your knuckles are white from gripping the cushions and your orgasm suddenly begins, hips bucking but Seonghwa holds them down.

               Your head rolls back against the couch as the pleasure overtakes you. Your entire body tingles, skin incredibly warm. Seonghwa slows down as you cum until your hips lower back down. Only then he pulls away. Breathless, you can’t even look down at him because your body feels heavy from how intense the orgasm was.

               Seonghwa releases his hold on your thighs but quietly goes, “Leave your legs spread, I want to see your pussy.”

               It’s the first time something vulgar has left his mouth this entire time and it turns you on. Having talked to Seonghwa only a couple of times very quickly prior to this week, you never thought you’d hear such a sentence from him especially directed at you.

               Finally, he brings his fingers to your cunt, spreading your lips open slightly. “Can I ask you something?”

               You think you reply but it comes out a bit garbled.

               But Seonghwa takes it as an affirmative and goes, “Last night, when you asked me to dance…what were you thinking about?” To your amazement, he actually looks shy after asking even though he just made you cum thirty seconds ago.

               This meant you had to form words now, an arduous task given the circumstances. “I was wondering if you were in shape because sometimes the way your work clothes looked on you…and I was thinking about if the rumors about you were true. And…” You swallow, “I was thinking about your fingers and how long they were.”

               As soon as the words leave your mouth, Seonghwa slides a finger in your hole, making you gasp in both relief and surprise. He looks a bit satisfied and you realize he must have known you were thinking about his fingers and just wanted to hear you admit it.

               “What do you think?” He murmurs, “Does it feel long?”

               His finger is completely buried in your cunt and he wiggles it slightly, making you clamp down around it instinctively. Seonghwa’s eyes move upwards to look at you, taking in the sight of you whimpering and clearly wanting more.

               He inserts another finger while going, “Does it feel how you thought it would?” Slowly, he moves his two fingers in your cunt, and you can hear how soaking wet your hole is.

               You watch, entranced at the sight of Seonghwa’s long and slender fingers pumping in your cunt. Each time he pulls them out, you can see your juices smeared across his skin before he pushes them back inside. He wiggles them each time they are buried in your hole and it feels so good that you don’t think you can talk. You try to move your hips in time with his fingers but his other hand keeps your hips down against the couch.

               The phone is ringing again. You’d wish it would shut up already. Seonghwa seems too dazed to even notice, staring at your cunt swallowing his fingers.

               “Is that the sort of thing you were thinking about? How my long fingers would feel in your tight cunt?” He asks softly, “You’re really tight. I don’t know how I’m going to fit inside you.”

               The confession catches your breath because he is teasing you now, skirting around the rumor about his big dick without showing you.

               “You can barely take my fingers. You think you can take another one?”

               “Yes,” You breathe out, “I can. I can take your cock too.”

               “We’ll see about that, baby,” He murmurs and the affectionate use of ‘baby’ makes you shiver.

               Another finger dips into your hole as Seonghwa finger fucks you. His pace has steadily increased but with three fingers, you can feel your hole jammed full of him. He’s right, you are tight and you don’t know how you’d take his apparent big cock but the universe knows you’d be trying.

               Seonghwa leans forward and wraps his lips around your clit while finger banging your hole as much as your cunt allows. You groan, the pleasure spiking, your hand grabbing onto his blonde hair as he finally releases his hold on your hips. This allows you to grind your pussy against his fingers as he sucks hard on your clit. To your amazement, you know that you’re going to cum again already. He doesn’t let up on your clit or your hole, his fingers making obscene noises from how wet you are. When he wiggles them inside you, it’s enough to make your brain hazy with pleasure.

               You curse as your second climax begins. You can feel yourself gushing around his fingers, your juices smearing all over his fingers down to his palm. You’re grinding against his face, probably making a mess on his glasses too for all you know but cannot stop yourself. You’re moaning and whimpering, your head pressing against the back of the couch as the pleasure becomes overwhelming.

               Collapsing against the couch when the orgasm begins to fade, you can hardly catch your breath. Your entire body tingles. You cannot recall the last time you had someone make you cum that close together. You didn’t even know it was possible.

               Opening your eyes, you look downwards at Seonghwa. He has pulled his fingers out of your hole and put them in his mouth, tasting you. His glasses are slightly askew and messy in the most pornographic way. His tongue swirls around his fingers. The entire image is immediately burned into your brain.

               The phone rings again. Annoyed, you glare at it on the counter. “Should you answer that?” Not that you don’t want to hop on his dick immediately but the mere fact they won’t stop calling makes you worry something bad has happened and you’re keeping Seonghwa from it for your own selfish reasons.

               “I should although admittedly I don’t want to,” He replies, standing up.

               The bulge in his pants is evident and large. You hope the phone call won’t take long so you can jump on him. It’s amazing how he’s made you cum twice already but you still want more.

               He looks at his phone and frowns. “It’s work,” He directs this at you before answering, “Hello?” A long pause as someone rambles on the other end. Then, “No one else can help you with this?” More silence, more rambling from the other end. “No, I’m just…I’m in the middle of something, that’s all,” He mumbles, shooting you a glance, “Yeah, I get it. No, we don’t want that to happen. Yeah, give me an hour, alright?”

               Your stomach falls as Seonghwa ends the call and looks chagrined. “I’m sorry. I gotta go into the office. The new guy fucked up the software update push and it’s gotta go out today before everyone else comes back tomorrow.”

               You distantly remember a meeting two weeks ago about a software update but since it had more to do with Seonghwa’s side than yours, you spaced out. That had been happening a lot lately.

               Still, you suddenly feel shy and embarrassed, quickly snatching up your underwear off the floor. “Right, yeah, I get it.”

               “Let me drive you home on my way in,” He says hurriedly, scampering back over as you slip your underwear back on.

               You really don’t want to Uber after being half fucked, in another man’s clothes, slightly hungover so you accept. Seonghwa looks relieved; he is jittery like he expects you to be mad over the fact he has to go to work. He sits down next to you, looks as if he is going to reach for your hand and then has second thoughts.

               “I’m sorry again,” He says.

               You want to laugh. Seonghwa, the least likely guy on the planet, just made you cum twice and he’s apologizing? You aren’t even sure for what. You reach up for his glasses, gently removing them from his face. He looks confused.

               “You might wanna clean these before you go in,” You say quietly and he realizes the state they are.

               He blushes, nodding. “Y-yeah, good idea. Thanks.” He takes the glasses back, scurrying off to get cleaned up for work.

               You sit there, torn between confusion over where exactly this left you and Seonghwa, how a guy like him could make you feel so good, and what happens next.

               Well, you think, at least I know one part of the rumor is definitely true. He really can eat pussy like a champ.

PART TWO HERE.

🌻 Tags: @thewonderofkpop - @obligatoryidolblog - @yunhofingers - @foggyinternetchaos - @multiland - @whatudowhennooneseesyou - @jess-1404 - @just-here-to-read-01 - @likexaxdaydream - @senpai-of-doom - @lilhwahwa - @btsreader12 - @talkbykhalid - @pyeonghongrie-main - @inneratinyrebel - @8tinytings - @cherrypandora - @almondmilkeu - @kitten4sannie - @hwalysm - @revehosh - @mulletjoonsupremacy - @byungaji - @erensluut - @singularity777 - @hwa-whiskers - @luxvatz - @seonghwasstar - @eyesonlyformingi - @rxnexxi - @rosealie05 - @xirenex - a couple of you couldn’t be tagged so i’ll message you separately, sorry.

[cinnnamongrl]

sorority secrets- ellie williams (part 2)

pairing: college!ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: part 2 to this fic.

warnings: [18+ MDNI] explicit language, suggestive themes/language, kissing (gasp) [this series will contain smut later on- warnings will be listed accordingly]

author’s note: part two everybody clap. this is a little shorter but part 3 will make up for it .. wink wink. have fun and lmk all ur thoughts<33

was ellie delusional? was she a complete idiot for thinking there was something sapphic that was occurring between the two of you? did she dream up the flirting, the glances at her hands and quickened heartbeat visible through your dress when her face was close to yours? she didn’t know. all she knew was she had been tied up in too many situations where she’d misread signals and falsely assumed a girl was queer and interested to then find out she was straight, or involved with a guy. and fuck going through that again. so she decided to distance herself. luckily for her, there hadn’t been any mandatory eta meets lately and you didn’t share any classes together. her plan to leave you alone and let you pursue this chad guy was going perfectly.

you felt like shit. you felt like the worlds biggest asshole for telling everyone you had a crush on a guy 3 minutes after ellie’s mouth was a few inches from yours, and not even talking to her after to maybe explain that, hey, i don’t even know who chad is. i was just being a pussy. now can we go back to where you were pressed up against me in the bathroom? another fun consequence of your lie was now having to pretend you knew who chad peters was when your sorority sisters would prod you for details on your big crush on him. you’d managed to work out through their giggly discussions that he was:

1. tall.

2. well endowed. (lucky you!)

3. a football player.

4. president of kappa upsilon sigma fraternity. the same fraternity your dad had been a part of.

fuck chad peters for existing and being the reason ellie wasn’t talking to you anymore.

you laid on your bed with yours and ellie’s chat open on your phone. your heard swirled with different excuses to use to text her, trying to silence your pride. it was your fault she was avoiding you anyway, you’d embarrassed her and hadn’t even followed up with an apology, instead you let your parent’s ideals and the pressure you put on yourself mess with your head.

fuck this.

she didn’t tell you to fuck off so you considered that a win. it had been 17 minutes since you sent the last text, so you assumed the conversation was over. still, you picked up your phone every few minutes to check she hadn’t texted again. it was a natural place for the conversation to end, but… what if she was still upset with you? you threw your head dramatically into your pillow like a woman scorned.

curse your stupid love heart hand emojis, ellie thought. she tried to be chill and think about important things like the next paragraph on her text book, or replying to a text from emilia about some eta thing, or doing something about the clothes pile on her floor from 2 weeks ago. but she was sat in her desk chair analysing your emojis. which made her think about you. which made her think about the little eyebrow scrunch you did when you pretended to be annoyed with her, which made her think about your chest almost pressing into hers in the bathroom, which made her think about your neck, how it might look with-

KNOCK KNOCK

ellie scanned her room, kicked the pile of clothes into the corner, adjusted the hood of her grey hoodie and walked to the door. she opened it and was met with you, looking slightly awkward but in an (annoyingly) endearing way. she looked down at your hands. a box of capri-suns. a laugh escaped her throat. “hi” your voice a little unsure. “listen i know you’re studying i just thought i’d bring this to you it’s a joke because we talked about capri-suns sorry i’ll go i just thought it would be funny but i’m probably disturbing you so i’ll see you soon maybe y’know because of e-“ “come in” she cut you off.

you took in a breath and tentatively walked past her outstretched hand. you stood in the middle of her room, still processing that you’d asked ellie’s step sister to tell you where her dorm room was like a creep and then ran there to give her a gift from a stupid inside joke. “i’ll leave in a minute i just,” you thought for a second. you just what? you pointed a weak hand at the box of capri-suns in your other hand. she smiled slightly “i see. thank you.” she took the box from your hand and started to rip it open as she sat down in her desk chair. you watched her for a few seconds before a brightly coloured pouch came flying at you, your instincts managing to kick in at the last minute so your hand could shoot out and clutch it against your torso, an action that lacked any hint of grace. ellie was visibly holding in a laugh as she pierced the tiny straw through her own drink. “don’t laugh! you didn’t give me any warning!” you blurted. “ok this is your warning. i’m going to throw a capri-sun at you.” not even half a second later another flash of colour shot towards you and you held you hand up in front of your face in protection. the pouch hit the floor with a gentle thud and you picked it up and stared at ellie who was now openly snickering at you. “you’re” you aimed it at her stomach “a dick” SMACK.

“ow!” she held the drink to her and looked up at you in disbelief before standing to her feet, eyes on you. a little jump of playful fear zapped through you and she grabbed a handful of capri-suns out the box and one after the other threw them towards you, no real force behind the throws. you backed away giggling until the backs of your knees met her bed and you fell back onto it. ellie didn’t let up her attack and continued walking towards you, fourth capri-sun hitting your shoulder a little harder than she’d anticipated. you clutched it theatrically and turned away from her, face pressed into her bed and keeping your body balled up like you’d been shot. a wave of panic went through ellie at the thought of accidentally hurting you. she placed herself next to you on the bed and put her hand on your back nervously “hey are you..” “HA” you lifted suddenly and held her body down onto the bed with your leg and repeatedly hit the capri-sun onto her arm, laughing at your own genius. ‘hey hey hey’ ellie spoke through her laughter and grabbed a hold of your arms, successfully pacifying you.

she looked at the sight of you above her, grinning, your chest rising and falling quickly. the memory of your truth or dare confession struck her. she let go of your arms and cleared her throat, sitting up slightly, making you remove your leg from her. you noticed her switch and before your brain could have an input your mouth got there first;

“i don’t like that guy.” you babbled. ellie stared at you. “what?” “that guy. chad. i didn’t even know a chad, it was the first name that came to mind.” “wh-“ she blinked a few times “what are you saying?” you adjusted yourself so you were sat on your knees. “i made up a fake crush when emilia asked because i got scared.” ellie frowned, “scared of what?” “you.” a short laugh escaped her, the confusion obvious on her features. “me?” “yes, scared of you and…” “and what?” her eyes were still fixed on you and it took great effort to stop yourself from doting upon her freckles and her pretty lips “..the way you make me feel.” you looked down. ellie’s tone changed, there was a depth to her voice. “and how’s that?” your eyes remained focused in on a crease in her sheets. “like..” “hey, look at me.” she raised your chin with her index finger. you complied. and she wanted to hear you talk but god did she also want to kiss you right now.

“..fuzzy. and all hot and nervous and i haven’t stopped thinking about you since i met you which is stupid and scary and-” and then her lips were on yours, it was soft and sweet and it gave you butterflies. it was delicate and gentle and tender, until it wasn’t. until it was deepening, her tongue was meeting yours and you had butterflies in a whole new way. her hand found your face and she cupped your jaw while the other made it’s way to the back of your neck, the intensity of both her hands holding you making your head spin a little. she kissed you with all the desperation of a man starved and yet all the technique that made it seem like she already knew exactly what your body wanted from her.

feeling suddenly restricted in the sitting position on your knees you leaned into the kiss and placed your hands either side of her, lifting your ass from your legs and leaning into her on all fours, mouth not leaving hers. ellie felt your body shift and broke away from you, noticing your new position. “you.. can’t do that” she let out breathlessly. “d-do what?” you were suddenly hyper aware of your body, realising that you probably did look a little pathetic in near-enough doggy position while you’re kissing for the first time. “because i want to be respectful,” she calmed her breathing slightly “but the way you look now is making me have not so respectful thoughts” your face heated and let out a shy giggle. “..sorry.” the corner of her mouth lifted into a smile. you continued “but uh… you don’t have to be respectful… if you don’t want.” you looked up at her and absentmindedly brought your bottom lip to chew on at your nervous attempt at playful seduction. ellie looked down at your mouth and within the beat she’d captured it with her own, kissing you hard again and hands stoking up your arms that were still held up on her bed.

part 3

taglist: @ximtiredx @gold-dustwomxn @nil-eena @girlfr1endism

[whattimeisitfic]

So I was fucking around with an incorrect quote generator and these are some of the funny prompts I got for Luci and his brothers. Most of them are just Raphael and Gabriel having the pettiest sibling rivalry in existence.

—

Pre-Fall days. Lucifer is still getting the hang of proper utility usage…

Gabriel: Hi could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?

Lucifer: Microwave for 40 minutes

Michael: WHY WERE YOU MICROWAVING A LEMON?!

Lucifer: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells and I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges, but I didn’t on any pots…

Raphael: Did you burn an orange too? HOW?!

Lucifer: Microwave for 40 minutes.

—

Gabriel addressing the Council. Probably on some really memorable, meaningful event for him or something.

Gabriel: I just wanted to say that over the years, I have come to regard you as… people I met.

—

Does this need context? Could happen literally any time.

Gabriel: You look mentally ill.

Lucifer: I am. Let’s go.

—

Once again, could realistically happen any time, though more likely in their younger years.

Gabriel: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons

Raphael: Bet you I can!

Michael: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial and goes back to reading the paper*

—

These two I stg—

Raphael: Can I have some water?

Gabriel: *starts chugging their water bottle*

Gabriel: *chokes from drinking too fast*

Gabriel: *spills water all over themselves*

Gabriel, coughing: I don’t have any water.

—

My man is absolutely clueless in the most adorable way possible. We love him for it tho. Was probably Rals texting him.

Lucifer: Gabriel, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?

Gabriel: I don’t know, I love you, talk to you later.

Lucifer: Alright, I love you too, I’ll ask Michael

Gabriel: Wait, Lucifer, no—

—

You can’t tell me Lucifer wasn’t a chaotic little shit pre-Fall.

Raphael: I have a question.

Michael: Shoot.

Raphael: Is the S or C in scent silent?

Gabriel: Fuck you, I’m going to be thinking about this all day.

Michael: Okay well, cent is pronounced the same way as scent so I’m gonna say the S is silent

Raphael: Okay, but sent is also spelled the same way

Gabriel: Google says that the C was added in the late seventeenth century, so I guess the S is silent.

Lucifer: Plot twist, both the S and the C are silent and the E actually makes the sss sound

Gabriel: Lucifer is not allowed to talk anymore

—

Once again, plausible any time at present.

Michael: You’e ignoring all your problems.

Lucifer: I know.

Michael: You also know it’s an unhealthy coping mechanism?

Lucifer: I’m ignoring that fact as well

Michael:

—

Lucifer can do no wrong.

Michael: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-

Lucifer: it was me

Michael: …Is going to be forgiven because very one deserves a second chance.

—

He lasted all of five seconds, and the he had to sass.

Raphael: Oh, hey, I didn’t see you come in! You should have come by and said hello!

Gabriel: Oh! Yeah, I uh…

Gabriel: Didn’t want to bother you.

Gabriel: Or talk to or listen to or be around you.

—

Back when Lucifer wasn’t recovering from near death, and actually didn’t sleep.

Raphael: Truth or dare?

Lucifer: Truth.

Raphael: How many hours have you slept this week?

Lucifer:

Lucifer: Dare.

Raphael: Go to sleep.

Lucifer: I don’t like this game

—

They had an argument. Typical occurrence.

Michael: You have to apologize to Gabriel!

Raphael: Fine!

Raphael: Unfuck you or whatever!

—

I think this about sums it up.

Raphael: Are you alright?

Lucifer: Short answer or long answer?

Raphael: Short?

Lucifer: No.

Raphael: Long?

Lucifer: Nooooooo

—

I’ll say it again: these two—

Raphael: Guys, I have a question.

Gabriel: kys <3

Raphael: I love you too.

Michael: Ah. Yes. Siblings.

—

If Lucifer ever went out drinking w/ his siblings (u know, to the places that actually serve shit to get him wasted)

Lucifer, clearly drunk: Gabriel, hit me another drink… wooOO HOOoo…

Gabriel: I think you need a therapist and not a bottle

Lucifer: I think yooOOoouu need to shuUT YOUR MOUTH!

—

Last one. You can’t tell me Raphael doesn’t get weird obsessions w/ shows like this and convinces himself he’s gonna somehow end up in a similar situation. Michael is concerned

Raphael: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?

Michael: wHat?

Raphael: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved

Michael: Can we go back to the part when you said “when I get murdered”?

—

Alright that’s all I got for now ducklings! I just thought it was kind of funny.

If you’re reading this with no context but are interested, consider checking out my Hazbin Hotel Lucifer-centric fic on AO3 What Time Is It. I try to update daily and do my best to answer all comments ;)

[blushweddinggowns]

Eddie was…struggling to say the least. And by the end of the first week of sticking around this city, he was completely out of ways to rationalize what the fuck he was still doing here. 

Indianapolis was just supposed to be a pitstop after visiting Wayne. Then, he was supposed to see Chrissy in a few days, spend some time in San Francisco before jet setting around the world for his year-long vacation. But instead here he was, avoiding Chrissy’s calls, opting instead to take the coward’s route of sending cryptic texts and reassurances that he was fine. Despite the fact that he’d canceled his flight a few days ago. 

And for what? Some hot guy he had only seen twice? That he couldn’t even get past first base with?

And while technically it was the best date of his life, that didn’t exactly warrant whatever the fuck he was doing here. And that wasn’t even mentioning all of the fucking lies. 

It was safe to say that he was floundering over here. Which was so fucking stupid. He was Eddie fucking Munson for God’s sake, not some lovesick highschooler. And he was sure that there were many easier flings to be had in his immediate future if he just left. This was when it was time to abort the mission right? He hadn’t gotten what he wanted, and that was that. 

So why was that so hard to accept? Why was he so fucking obsessed with this dude? Eddie had no fucking clue. Well…maybe he had some clue. Because Steve was funny. And he was smart, adventurous, and interesting enough for Eddie to want to know everything about him. Not to mention painfully attractive. And then add in being a complete sweetheart on top of everything else. 

All Eddie knew was that he wanted to see him again. And leaving now felt…wrong. Because Steve liked him. He obviously liked him, or at least Eddie really hoped he liked him. He at least liked him enough to give him his number. And answer his calls.

They had been talking a lot in the past few days. Historically, Eddie had always hated phone calls, especially when a single text could usually save you a half an hour of awkward small talk. But with Steve…it was different. Everything with Steve was different. They didn’t even have to be talking about anything important. They spent an hour and a half the other night debating over plot holes in the Lord of the Rings franchise. 

He had been calling him from the hotel’s room phone, adding in yet another lie about forgetting his cell in his non-existent fumigated apartment. But he didn’t feel too guilty about that one. Especially since he went through the extra effort to buy a new real (fake?) cellphone. One that he had purchased specifically for talking to Steve with. Because no matter how much he liked the guy, he wasn’t breaking the cardinal rule of keeping his real number a secret. Not after the insane shit fans sent him the last time it accidently went public.

No, he did the much saner thing of dropping eight hundred dollars on a smartphone and an extra phone plan that he’d only use to talk to the dude he’d been dating for less than a week. 

He really was killing it with the circular logic these days. And it was getting harder and harder to ignore. This whole…thing had gotten away from him. And it was becoming a touch too insane for Eddie to keep rationalizing the lies. And it wasn’t even his usual brand of insanity, this felt almost clinical. 

But that didn’t stop him from dialing Steve’s number the second his new account was officially activated. 

It rang twice before Steve answered, “Hello?”

God, even the sound of his voice was enough to make Eddie shiver. 

“Hey it’s me,” Eddie said like a moron. Like Steve would recognize his voice after one date and a handful of calls-

“Oh Eddie, hi!” Steve said, and Eddie could hear the smile in his voice, “That’s so weird. I was literally just thinking about you. I’m guessing you got your phone back?”

It was the smallest bit disconcerting, that just the sound of his voice was enough to make Eddie’s heart beat like crazy. He was kind of used to being the guy who made people nervous, not the other way around. Though he had to admit, it was a little exhilarating to be on the other side of it.

“I did. And you were huh? What were you thinking about?” Eddie purred, more than a bit proud that his voice didn’t sound as shaky as he felt.  But if he was ever going to fuck this guy he needed to amp up the charm.

But unfortunately for him, Steve was very good at throwing him for a loop, “You know those Afghan Hounds with the really long hair? Well I just saw a black one that I swear looked exactly like you.”

Eddie barked out a laugh, loud and unbidden, “God, you really know the way into a man’s heart don’t you? Who doesn’t like being compared to a dog?”

“It was a very pretty dog,” Steve tried, “Extremely cute.”

Eddie laid back on his bed, smiling at the ceiling like an idiot, "You think I'm pretty?"

He couldn’t see him, but Eddie could swear that Steve was rolling his eyes before saying, "I think you know you're pretty. You’ve seen a mirror before right? Y’know, the shiny things that show your reflection?”

God, he could be such a little bitch. Eddie freaking loved it.  

“Well now you’re just making me blush,” Eddie laughed, hoping that it came off as a little sarcastic instead of painfully honest. 

“And I bet that’s pretty too. So what's up?"

Oh y’know, just obsessively thinking about you near constantly, “I was just wondering when I would get to see you again.” 

"Well, my sister's going to be at her girlfriend's place tonight. How do you feel about coming over? I know it’s late but-”

“I’d love to,” Eddie interrupted, already excited. If that wasn’t a green light for them going further Eddie didn’t know what was. In a few hours it would be nearly midnight. And Eddie was more than down for a booty call, “When?”

“Maybe a few hours? I can text you the address. I’m sorry that my schedule is so fucked, but y’know. Night shift.”

“No worries. Guess I’ll see you soon?”

“Looking forward to it.”

From the latest chapter of this fic, inspired by this post

[nikethestatue]

Greetings,

I’m a baby elriel. I’ve like never really “shipped” any characters before in my life — and after the last few weeks of looking at the historical/ongoing ship war clusterfuck that is the ACOTAR fandom I don’t think I’m ever going to set sail again anywhere. You and all the other elriels who have been in the trenches from the get go have my respect 🫡 Anyways, your blog is super swaggy and you’re like the chillest elriel I’ve seen, so it is to your inbox that I shall share my testimony, my come to Mother moment if you will.

I didn’t really start giving any serious thought to the two them being a legit thing until I was already done with ACOSF. And it’s wild because it was the “‘I don’t see you spouting poetry, brother.’ ‘I don’t need to resort to it.’” bit in ACOWAR between Cassian and Azriel that triggered me to reevaluate.

When I first read that part I was like damn okay I see you Rizzriel, and I just kept on thinking about it and coming back to it cause it was so funny and entertaining but one day I was like yo hold up, don’t need to resort to it?? Okay, Mr. “Born Hearing the Song of the Wind.” Okay, Mr. waxing poetic about “The Naphelle Philosophy.” Like don’t get me wrong, it is definitely, first and foremost, a subtle flex for his third unspoken title; he is Azriel — shadowsinger, spymaster, and rizz master of the Night Court. However, I am a firm believer that he doesn’t need to resort to poetic words as some sort of attempt at flattery or being charming because the right situation/person naturally draws out that part of him.

✨Walk with me✨

When Elain and Azriel first meet in ACOMAF, even though there’s not a whole lot of interaction between them, it’s definitely a case of two people having a connection simply off vibes alone (yay for those of us who don’t have loud personalities). He puts her at ease with a smile and by acknowledging her fears and apprehension about their presence, about how much of a mindfuck it was for her to be dining in her home with those she was raised to believe were horrific creatures that would kill her if given the chance.

So like because of this, I think Elain is driven by a deeper curiosity that came from her unexpected comfort when she asks “Can you truly fly?” cause ngl asking the dude with massive wings if he can fly is certainly a choice 🧍🏽‍♀️ Like, there’s more to it than that, more than just attempting to transition from a tense situation into conversational small talk which could’ve been done just as easily with the likes of “Tell me about yourself” or a more confrontational “So what are you?” — which is essentially what Nesta asked immediately after 💀

Elain doesn’t know anything about these guys, but she sees Feyre trusts them, and Azriel’s small expressions of gentleness towards her amidst the escalating interactions made her willing to attempt connecting with him further. So I think her asking a ridiculously simple question with an obvious answer was her way of softly inviting him to share something about himself — not necessarily through what he responds with but rather how he responds — because something, if anything, unique to his answer beyond a simple yes or no would offer her a glimpse at him. And what does he do? Stone-faced, cold ass — doesn’t open his mouth except to give the shortest answers possible or to make some sharp sassy retort — Azriel spouts poetry for her about his and Cassian’s heritage.

So after my revelation slapped me in the face and then bonked me over the head for good measure, I went back and sought out all their interactions and was like dang bro became horrendously down bad for her in the most quietly romantic way possible and she’s feelin something too I can’t believe I didn’t pay attention to this before. I love love love that they just seem to be at ease in each other’s presence, that the vibes between them are so immaculate they don’t even need to bother with many words. Existing in comfortable silence with someone is like my favorite way to spend time in relationships whether it’s familial, platonic, or romantic so it makes me feel all fuzzy that we see them like that quite often.

So now I’m here and am looking forward to eventually reading about them and discovering more about Elain’s gifts because the whole creation story with the Mother + the Cauldron always gave me Gaia-type vibes and with Elain being invested in gardening and then being made a Seer by the cauldron because it thought she was so lovely I’m like Elain Archeron — the absolute goddess that you are, light and life flowing through your Made veins — we haven’t even seen all you can do yet and you’ve got this angelic fae male of death and darkness ready to worship you on his knees and I’ma be right there with him yes ma’am 🛐

WOW baby Elriel. You smote me with this beautiful post.

(first of all, you should write fanfiction. You reminded me of the greatest Elriel (or otherwise) writer that ever graced this hot mess of a fandom with their presence)

But I can't agree more. I think SJM actually pays attention to them, as a couple. Not something she does with many others. That relationship just flows so beautifully in the background, calm and poetic, even with the language she uses around them. There is so much imagery of death and life and decay and rebirth and beauty and flowers and blades and warmth and baking and loneliness and despair and searching for love and for home.

I don't know what she'll do with them, but it could be her Magnum Opus if she is careful, thoughtful and steady in crafting their story. What she already put down deserves special treatment when the story actually comes to pass.

Also, welcome to the fandom.

[writer-in-theory]

'tis the damn season — harringrove relay race

Summary: A modern AU in which Steve has to spend the holidays alone for the first time. It's a good thing his next-door neighbor has other ideas. Pairing: Steve Harrington/Billy Hargrove Rating: T Word Count: 1k A/N: This is my contribution to the Harringrove Relay Race ( @harringrove-relay-race ).

When Robin said she had to go back to Hawkins for Christmas, Steve tried to tell himself it was a good thing. He’d have the entire apartment to himself, which meant he could lounge on the couch in his pajamas and eat whatever he wanted without any comments from his friend. It would be a good thing, because Dustin was always telling them that they needed to learn how to exist apart, citing something about ‘codependency’ or some shit that Steve never bothered to really pay attention to. 

He told himself it didn’t matter that everyone he knew had a home to return to for the holidays, and he was stuck in the rundown apartment he and Robin could barely afford in the middle of San Francisco.

At first, it was even fun. He danced around the living room to his music without any complaints from Robin about the amount of Springsteen that existed on his mixtapes and didn’t bother to cook a single meal on his own when pizza delivery was an easy solution.

But then the apartment grew hauntingly and stiflingly quiet, even when the music still blared. Nothing seemed to solve his loneliness.

At least, until his neighbor made himself known.

It was the guy who lived in the studio apartment across the hall, the one that Robin had lovingly called ‘Malibu Barbie’ after seeing him return one morning with a surfboard under his arm. He was quiet most of the time, with the only proof that he was around being the occasional blasting of his rock music (not that Steve minded, it was proof there were other people around). 

They’d never had any reason to talk before, but Steve supposed December made everyone act strangely for one reason or another.

“Where’s the girlfriend?” Steve’s neighbor asked when Steve came home from work one night, exhausted from the last day of classes before the elementary kids went on winter break. The neighbor looked more casual the usual, dressed only in jeans and a white tank which revealed the beginnings of a tattoo sleeve winding its way down his right arm. He was holding a laundry basket close to his hip, his front door barely cracked open as if he’d started to enter but stopped just to talk to Steve.

“The who?” Steve asked, only realizing a moment later who his neighbor was talking about. “Robin? Gross, no. She’s like the annoying little sister I never had. You know I used to wish for one of those as a kid? Someone thought they were funny sending Buckley my way.”

Malibu Barbie grinned at that one—a devilish thing that made Steve want to swoon right there in the hallway. “Trust me, I know all about annoying little sisters. Mine’s in Seattle right now with her mom.”

“Her mom?”

“Susan married my asshole dad years ago. We haven’t talked since their divorce but Max still thinks it’s funny to call me every week. Something about sibling bonding or some shit,” Malibu Barbie said with a shrug. 

Steve laughed despite himself, suddenly able to picture his neighbor rolling his eyes at every call but still picking up anyway. “See Robin decided we’d just move in together after school. Dragged me all the way here.”

“So where’s Varsity Ken from?”

“Varsity Ken?” 

Steve’s neighbor shrugged at that. “Blame Max. She thinks she’s funny.”

“You must think she’s funny too, if you’re using her jokes,” Steve returned, leaning against the open doorway of his apartment once it was clear he wasn’t going anywhere. 

“Don’t let her hear that. I don’t need the shitbird getting a big head.”

“Well, I guess she should meet Robin. She’s called you Malibu Barbie for weeks,” Steve laughed.

“Barbie and Ken, huh?” his neighbor laughed. “Guess they’re trying to tell us something. Subtle little fuckers.”

It wasn’t too often Steve got this many laughs in, especially not recently. Hawkins hadn’t been a safe home in years, and though he loved his chaotic life in California he did ache for some of the normalcy that this time of year brought back in Indiana.

“Look, I’m having a lonely movie night tonight. I rented a bunch of cheesy Christmas romcoms and enough candy for twenty people. Come be lonely with me?”

“How do you know I celebrate Christmas, pretty boy?”

“Well do you?”

Malibu Barbie just smirked at that and tossed his laundry basket just inside his apartment before shutting the door. “Hanukkah, actually. But I do celebrate cheesy romcoms with a real-life Ken.”

“Is that a yes?”

“It’s a ‘you better have Reese’s cups’,” his neighbor said back.

“Who doesn’t get Reese’s cups? That’s against the spirit of romcom movie night,” Steve laughed, opening the door to his apartment for his neighbor. 

Robin would not believe him when he told her what happened, if only because she was constantly reminding him that his flirtation skills had dropped considerably since stepping away from the ‘popular’ life back in high school. He’d have to thank her though, because if it weren’t for her silly nickname he’s sure his neighbor wouldn’t be getting settled on the couch in their apartment now. 

“We starting with Love Actually, Ken?” Malibu Barbie called from the couch, lifting the case from the coffee table. 

“Who do you think I am, man? Put it in,” Steve laughed, sitting down as close to his neighbor as he dared, setting a small bowl of candy between them. “And you don’t have to call me Ken all night. Steve works just fine.”

“I kinda like Barbie, but I guess you can call me Billy,” his neighbor said in return.

It was easy to relax with Billy. They watched movies all night, though did a lot of talking the entire time. Steve hardly noticed when the sun set and rose again to start a new day, too busy getting to know Billy Hargrove—the hot next door neighbor who he apparently had a lot in common with. 

Maybe this holiday week wouldn’t be so bad without Robin. At the very least, he’s pretty sure he has the best story to tell when she gets back.

Please look forward to the amazing work from the next contributor, @raven-cl

[asahicore]

sex on the beach - hamada asahi (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact

pairing. bf!asahi x fem!reader

synopsis. You and your boyfriend are horny multiple times during your stay with your friends at Jaehyuk's beach house. That's it. That's the plot.

genre. summer au, established relationship, smut literally just smut but also fluff, you get jealous!asahi, you get needy!asahi, you get dom!asahi, you get super duper in love totally whipped for his gf!asahi, you get everything you want because i'm in love with this man, ig both asahi n reader are switches, this gets like..fairly dirty so beware, i tried to make the friends funny so comedy as well but don't quote me on that, also enhypen hyung line makes an appearance in this cause why not

word count. 14.1k

a/n. if you somehow still don't know this about me, i am in love with asahi. re-reading and editing this was a real fun time so i hope you guys like it and i hope that those of you who are whipped for him as i am think i did bf!sahi justice. pls lmk ur thoughts !! bye bye love you stay safe don't settle for weak stupid red-flag men when a whole hamada asahi exists have high standards besties

One perk of having a rich friend? They always, always have a beach house.

You’d first met Jaehyuk and Sieun in your first year of college, when you and Asahi were in the final talking stages of your budding relationship and he’d wanted to introduce you to his two closest friends. Soon thereafter, he met your own friends, namely Mashiho and Sumin, and when they all gave the other the seal of approval and you and Asahi finally started dating (after six long months of being idiots and blindly pining for the other, but that’s another story for another time), the six of you became somewhat of a loving family.

Well, one of the first things Asahi had told you about Jaehyuk was how filthy rich he was. Being the eldest son and therefore heir to the top law firm of the country came with great responsibility but also great wealth, and even if he didn’t make it painfully obvious that he was more than well-off, one still knew the money was there in the never-tarnished shoes, the new watch every week, the slicked-back hair, and, of course, the many residences his family owned and he always mentioned casually, as if any other person also had seven homes all over the world. 

But you weren’t going to complain, were you? Not when he so easily bought dinner for all six of you, paid for multiple of your monthly subscriptions and invited you all to spend two weeks at his beach house this summer without batting an eye. No need to pay for groceries either, he’d said. And he’d drive you all there in his 8-seat SUV.

Your first summer of being friends, you’d made the mistake of planning an August vacation in June, so the second time around, you made sure to prepare everything in advance so that everyone would be free at the same time. You were always excited to travel with your family, but this was your first time going a trip solely with your friends, rather than inviting a friend on your family vacation or the other way around, and your feet were itching to touch the warm white sand and dip in the deep blue sea that were waiting for you right behind Jaehyuk’s house.

The four-hour drive there feels like it lasted thirty minutes, all of you hyped on iced coffee and sheer excitement as music blasted through the car speakers. Jaehyuk and Sumin sat at the front, Mashiho and Sieun behind them, and you and Asahi in the furthest back seats. When you weren’t all having one big conversation about probably not-so-important topics that you took very seriously as you usually did, you were chatting in small groups, you and Asahi playing with each other’s fingers at the back like middle schoolers that just started dating.

Although some of the tension died down at the two-and-a-half-hour mark of the drive, it all comes back in the last thirty minutes, all of you keen to get out of the car and into the house that looked magnificent in the pictures and videos Jaehyuk had shown you.

The front courtyard behind the massive white gilded gate is big enough to require its own little roundabout for easier entry and exit of the house - actually, now that you’re here and can see it with your own two eyes, villa sounds more appropriate. Jaehyuk has barely parked his car that you’re all scrambling out of your seatbelts and running behind the house to find the path that leads to the beach, not even bothering to take your stuff out of the trunk.

Once you reach the beach, four of you stand there, panting happily and gazing out at the sea. “It’s the sea,” Sumin muses in a wonderstruck voice and everyone laughs at the obviousness of the statement. After some minutes, you look around and notice that Jaehyuk and Asahi hadn’t followed you, so you tell the others you should head back. You trudge back to the house only to find that the two boys have already unpacked everything and Jaehyuk is putting the snacks you’d brought for the trip away while Asahi sits on the couch and scrolls through Instagram, needing a rest after sitting for four hours in the car.

“Right, guys,” Jaehyuk calls out from the living room after unlocking the door upon seeing the four of you approach. You immediately head towards your boyfriend and sit down on the couch next to him, his arm coming up to rest on your shoulder and bring you closer to him. “Let’s choose our rooms.”

Mashiho chuckles, and by the look on his face, you can tell he’s got a stupid idea. “Rock, paper, scissors, loser gets the room next to Asahi and Y/N’s,” he says, making everybody groan in annoyance.

“We’re not animals, you know. We won’t be screaming and banging on the walls,” Asahi defends without looking up.

Sieun sighs and shakes her wrists out, getting ready for the game. “Someone remind me why we invited a couple to our trip?” she says, completely ignoring Asahi.

“Because we’re your dear friends that you love so much and wouldn’t want to spend such a nice vacation without,” you reply, voice saccharine sweet and batting your lashes at your group of friends, but they all just roll their eyes and chuckle sarcastically.

“There’s no need for that, anyway,” Jaehyuk says. “We’ve got eight rooms, so nobody needs to sleep in a room near them.” Your head and Asahi’s snap towards the other directly, looking at each other with a surprised but excited expression. No one in the room needs words to know what you’re thinking - it means that you won’t have to keep too quiet - and your friends groan again.

“Asahi, don’t forget what you just said, yeah?” Sumin warns. “If I have to hear the two of you fornicating, I’ll jump from the upstairs balcony.”

“Dear God,” Jaehyuk sighs. “Follow me, I’ll show you guys the room.”

Downstairs lodges one en-suite, which Jaehyuk takes, and two bedrooms that are joined by the bathroom, which Sumin and Sieun take. Upstairs, there is one en-suite at each end of the hall, so naturally you and Asahi take one while Mashiho takes the other one. And if, on a whim, you decided to invite three more people, you could lodge them in the three separate bedrooms and they could use the upstairs bathroom, one of the biggest you’ve ever seen in your life. 

You gasp as soon as you open the door to what will be your bedroom for the next two weeks. “God, Sahi, this room is huge,” is your immediate reaction. At this late afternoon hour, the sunlight pours directly through the sliding glass doors, bathing the white room in a golden glow and warming the carpeted floor, soft under your bare feet. The glass doors lead to a balcony which overlooks the backyard and its pool, and more importantly, the beach and the sea - an impressive view that you don’t think you’ll get tired of. You set your bags next to the king-sized bed that is probably enough to fit four sleeping bodies, which means you and Asahi will be able to spread out and not suffer too much from heavy summer night sweating. There are two small couches and a coffee table in front of the balcony, the kind that rich people have to fill the empty space rather than actually use. One door leads into a walking closet and another into the bathroom, which has both a bathtub and an Italian-style shower, as well as a toilet, two sinks and a mirror that takes up almost the whole wall.

You’re looking around the bathroom, opening and closing random drawers above and underneath the sink, when you feel a pair of arms wrapping themselves around your middle. You look up in the mirror to find your boyfriend standing behind you, a soft, sleepy-looking smile on his face. You watch him watching you for a bit, until he buries his face in the crook of your neck and takes a deep inhale there, then presses a soft kiss to your skin. “We’re going to have a lot of fun here,” he murmurs.

“Here as in this room or here as in this vacation?” you tease and he looks up at your reflection in the mirror again, locking his gaze in yours.

“Both,” he says after a small pause, which makes your grin widen. 

“I think so too,” you say and turn around, hooking your arms around his neck and leaning in for a kiss, which his body responds instantly to. After a year and a half of dating, there is no more hesitation when your lips touch - both of you know exactly what to do and how to do it. Yet, the excitement never fades, and your whole body tingles every time you find each other like this, as if it was the first time, but a thousand times better. 

Maybe it’s the hours of being in each other’s close vicinity without being able to do anything that make your kisses open-mouthed and hungry, or maybe it’s just your need for each other that never really wanes. You smile into the kiss as Asahi picks you up by the hips and lifts you onto the bathroom counter, your legs opening to let him stand between them as they wrap themselves around him, bringing him even closer. His hands sneak themselves underneath your light t-shirt, caressing and grabbing at the soft flesh of your sides while your own find purchase in his hair, slightly tugging just the way you know he likes. 

He presses himself into you, making you feel just how much he wants you right now, and the contact makes you sigh into his mouth. His tongue slips in, turning the kiss wetter and needier than before. Sadly, a loud voice interrupts you before you can get even more carried away.

“Y/N!” Mashiho calls from behind the bedroom door. “You guys better not be fucking right now, ‘cause we’re going grocery shopping and you said you’d come!”

Ah, your dear friends. Ever so tactful.

You tear yourself from Asahi and pivot your head towards the door. “I’ll be down in a minute!” you shout back. You turn back to your boyfriend and peck his lips, watching him fondly as his eyes stay closed even after you pull away. “You’re not joining, are you?”

He looks down at himself and you follow his gaze, and sure enough, there’s a tent in his pants. “I think I’ll hang back for this one,” he says, a stupid grin on his face. 

“Okay,” you whisper, and peck him again. “Gotta go then.” You hop off the counter and head out of the room, turning around and blowing him a kiss when he calls out “Come back quick!”

As soon as you step inside the gigantic, fresh grocery store, Mashiho becomes a man on a mission. As the self-designated chef of the group, he has planned virtually all of the meals you would be having on your trip and therefore has a very detailed list of all the ingredients he needs. He turns to you and pushes a small sheet of paper into your hands, looking at you and Jaehyuk pointedly.

“It’ll be faster if we split up. I’ll take care of the produce and you guys can get the dry ingredients. Jaehyuk, you’re rich, so I trust you’ll get the nice stuff. Oh, and get some snacks and alcohol as well,” he commands, and before you can say anything, he’s off, pushing his cart importantly. You and Jaehyuk exchange a glance, both of you astonished by your friend’s sudden seriousness, but you shrug it off and head to the designated aisles. 

It takes you something short of thirty minutes to get everything on Mashiho’s list, and then the fun begins. When you reach the snack aisle, you act as if you won’t be able to come back to the store and have to get enough to sustain your six hungry bodies for two whole weeks. The shelves are ravaged and a sad thing to look at once you and Jaehyuk are done with your spree, and the alcohol aisle is shivering at the mere thought of what you will do to it.

Indeed, you aren’t kind to it. You take random bottles to inspect in your hands, looking at Jaehyuk who gives you either a nod or a shake of his head, sometimes gesturing at you to take another bottle of the same kind. He has to go get a second cart just for the beer packs. It looks like you’ll be staying for two months rather than two weeks, but you can always bring them back home if ever you don’t get to the bottom of those bottles.

You meet Mashiho next to the tills, and while he inspects your cart, shaking his head at the amount of alcohol, your eyes fall on a bright-colored firework stand a few feet from you. “Guys, look!” you call out to your friends. “We should get some of these.”

“Ooh, good idea,” Mashiho agrees. You watch as Jaehyuk’s eyes go wide and as he walks transfixed towards the stand like a kid to a candy shop. He takes a scandalous amount of packs into his arms, heaving them into one of the three carts.

“These’ll be nice for our last night,” he says with a huge smile on his face.

“With that amount, I think we’ll have enough for every night,” you comment, but he just tuts at you.

“Don’t spoil my fun.”

You and Mashiho don’t even dare to look at the total cost of your little shopping fun and wince when the cashier announces it, finding sudden interest in the ceiling of the supermarket. Yet, Jaehyuk seems completely unfazed and pays with his card as if this kind of purchase was an everyday occurrence. 

Fast forward a few hours later and you’re already two beers in, laughing at whatever stupid thing Asahi is currently doing. In true summer bonfire fashion, Jaehyuk has gotten out a grill to put over the fire so you could cook sausages, buns and vegetables and eat delicious hot-dogs - not to forget s’mores for dessert. You’re sitting in a circle around the fire Asahi and Sumin prepared, sharing random stories you had somehow not told each other before and hysterically laughing at all the gruesome details of your childhood and teenage incidents. You always love talking to your friends like this, getting to know what their life before you knew them was like; it makes you happy that, despite whatever differences you may have, you’ve now all come together like this. 

Asahi drops his head on your shoulder in delight as he bites into the s’more you made for him, the marshmallow cooked just the way he likes it - gooey and sticky on the outside but still a bit raw inside. Sieun looks at you two with a fond smile on her face but shakes her head nonetheless. “I miss the times when Asahi was scared to even look at you when we were around,” she jokes, the others nodding their heads in agreement.

“Don’t say that!” you reprimand lightheartedly. “He’ll get embarrassed and go back to his ways if you guys tease him.”

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here!” he complains, pouting slightly.

“Sorry, baby,” you say, looking down at him with a huge smile on your face, and everybody groans in unison. 

Conversation resumes and you all continue chatting, laughing and drinking until the late hours of the night, when the sun has fully set and the fire in front of you is your main source of light. You and Asahi huddle together for warmth, sometimes accidentally falling into your own world and giggling when you feel his hands travel a bit too far up your thighs, but quickly returning to your friends when someone calls out one of your names. You only decide to put the fire out and head to bed when Sumin yawns, causing Jaehyuk to yawn as well, in turn making you yawn, until all six of you have yawned in quick succession, bursting into laughter at your strange acapella.

Asahi has drunk his fair share of beer and cranberry vodkas so the short walk home becomes a whole trek with you having to hold him up the whole way. It doesn’t help that he thinks this is the funniest thing ever and keeps on giggling as he rests all of his weight on you. Thankfully, you’d had your last beer some three hours ago and had practically sobered up while Asahi partied on.

You manage to get him to your shared bedroom, but to your despair, your boyfriend is at the level of drunk where he’s not passed out or vomiting everywhere but he has no filter left and says absolutely everything that goes through his mind. You curse yourself for having once wished to get inside your boyfriend's head and know every single thought of his.

As soon as you push him down on the bed, he looks at you with a shit-eating grin and giggles again. “Ooh,” is all he says, but you roll your eyes at him.

“Sit up and drink some water, then have a painkiller, baby. You’ll thank me tomorrow,” you say, planting a bottle of water and some pills on the nightstand. 

“Yes, ma’am,” he slurs, his giggles never stopping. “You looked really hot today, you know,” he says between sips. “Hey, where are you going?!” he calls out after you as you head to the bathroom.

“Just going to change, baby.”

“No need to put your PJs on,” he teases in a sing-song voice.

You ignore him and change into light sleeping clothes then do your skincare, too lazy to take a proper shower. You come out to find Asahi scrolling through his phone, surprisingly still awake but a dazed look in his eyes, like he’s not really watching whatever’s playing on his screen. His eyes come into focus when he sees you approach and he smiles at you sleepily.

“Hey,” you say softly, getting into bed next to him. “I thought you’d be asleep by now. Why don’t you get more comfortable, get those clothes off, hm?”

His gentle smile turns into a smirk at your words, and you can already tell what he’s going to say next. “Too tired. Do it for me?” he asks as he lets his arms hang on his sides, pretending to be innocent. You sigh but oblige anyway, helping him out of his t-shirt. “Are you going to do naughty things to me?” he provokes, that smirk still plastered on his lips. 

“No. No funny things tonight, mister. You’re way too drunk-”

“But-”

“No buts,” you say, ignoring his whines as you help him out of his t-shirt. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m not that drunk,” he insists, giggling again when you unbutton his shorts and pull them down his legs. “Look,” he says, pointing to his growing erection. “Would I be able to do that if I was too drunk?”

“Wh- how are you hard already, Sahi?” you ask, baffled by your boyfriend’s impressive bodily prowesses, and the words seem to get to his dick because you see it twitch under his boxers. “I haven’t even done anything yet…”

“Yet?” he echoes, a hopeful tone in his voice. He sees you’re about to deny him again, so he takes your hand and presses it lightly to his erection. “Please… I can do all the work, if you want,” he pleads, trailing soft kisses up your arm until he reaches your neck. “Hm? I already feel more sober.”

You sigh, more so in pleasure at feeling your boyfriend’s lips against your skin than in annoyance. “Fine,” you comply, pretending like you’re doing this for him, when really you’d been craving to get him alone all day and had been disappointed to see him so drunk, thinking he wouldn’t be able to do anything - so this comes as relief to you.

“Thank you,” he whispers against your lips, smiling, before diving into a kiss. You can tell he’s impatient because he doesn’t waste much time before pulling your t-shirt off, smirking when he sees you’re wearing your black lace panties - his favorites. “I have to taste you,” he groans as he helps you lay on your back against the soft mattress, then starts making his way down your body, stopping for a moment to suck on your nipples just to tease you a bit. No matter how restless he was, he always liked making you needy for him before he gave you what you wanted.

Your core is throbbing by the time he reaches it, and you’ve already hurried out of your underwear, making him chuckle. “I thought I was the needy one here…”

“Shut up,” you whine, and he indeed does shut up as he licks up a firm stripe between your folds, his tongue finding your clit immediately. You’re glad he doesn’t tease and instead sucks and licks like his life depends on it, the sensations making you feel light-headed. Within seconds, you’re a moaning mess under his tongue, and he needs to keep your thighs open lest you snap them shut around his head in overwhelming pleasure.

He only takes breaks to catch his breath and murmur dirty things against your thighs, biting at the skin there. “Tastes so good, baby. I’ve been waiting all day for this, and I’m gonna do this every single fucking day, too.”

Raising your body on your elbows was a bad idea because the sight between your legs takes your breath away. Your sweet boyfriend has his eyes shut tight and his eyebrows furrowed together in deep concentration as he drinks from you like a parched man would from a well. One hand has snuck its way onto your belly, simply resting it there, while the other has gone down to palm himself through his boxers. He seems more intoxicated by you, your scent and your taste, than by the alcohol in his system. His hums and moans vibrate against your core, and the thought that making you feel good makes him feel good is what sends your body reeling.

“Fuck, Sahi, I’m so- ah, so close,” you moan, tugging harshly at his hair and getting ready for your orgasm, until he suddenly pulls away from your core and positions himself over you, the absence of the warmth of his tongue making you whine. Just as you’re about to protest, he pushes his cock into your hole, making you gasp at the abrupt but not unwelcome intrusion. He bottoms out immediately, filling you up as he always does.

“Sorry, princess, needed you to cum around my dick instead. Wanted to feel- fuck- all of you,” he moans into your ear. At first, he holds his weight up on his elbows, each one resting next to your face, and kisses you hungrily. The intense pleasure makes it hard to kiss and you share so little oxygen as you breathe into each other’s mouth that it is dizzying. But then, when it gets too much, he rests half of his body on yours, holding himself up on one arm so he can keep on thrusting at a rapid pace. His moans are muffled into your hair, and you know he’s close when he starts using his thumb to play with your clit and bring you to climax at the same time as him.

Quickly enough, your orgasm bubbles at the surface again, and as soon as you let him know you’re close, Asahi is begging for you to cum. “Sahi…” is all you can moan as you cum, walls clenching around him and pulling his release out of him and right into your hole. He sighs deeply as he softens inside you and buries his face in your neck. You don’t need to see him to picture his peaceful, content expression, but you also know your boyfriend and he could fall asleep at any second now, so you have to push him off of you to clean the both of you up and have a quick trip to the bathroom.

You have a sip of water and turn the fan on high before you snuggle yourself in his embrace, his arms wrapping themselves around you in a tight hug. The room is already hot from the weather and your shenanigans have only made the temperature rise, so you know you wouldn’t be comfortable in this position for long but you let yourself fall asleep anyway, simply happy to be here in your boyfriend’s arms.

-

One thing about hungover Asahi is that he always sleeps in late, so you know better than to wait around in bed for him and get up soon after you awake. “Sleeping the alcohol off,” he calls it.

You’re the first one up, so you decide to cook your hangover soup that receives praise from Mashiho himself for your friends that may have abused alcohol last night. Soon enough, they come trudging out of their rooms one by one, looking tired and as if they might get sick any minute. When she sees you’ve made your soup, Sumin hugs you for so long you think she might have fallen back asleep on your shoulder. You and Sieun are the only ones that don’t look like they’re dying - you, because you didn’t drink much, and Sieun, because she’s got superhuman drinking abilities.

Your sleeping prince comes out last and heads for the couch immediately, finishing off his night for thirty minutes there before getting up again and having some soup. He’s already not the most talkative person on earth, but when tired and hungover like this, he truly becomes a man of few words; whatever he says probably wouldn’t make much sense anyway. He kisses the top of your head as a thank you and hunches over his bowl of soup, drinking it like it’s elixir, and burps for good measure once he’s done eating.

After that, even if it’s past noon, the day is slow to start. But that’s okay, because you’ve got plenty of time anyway. None of you have enough energy to do much more than sunbathe and play around in the sea all afternoon, so that’s exactly what you do. Sieun is the only one who manages to make your lazy bodies move, forcing Jaehyuk to show her where the beachvolley net and everything you need to play it are stored, then making you play with her. They put you and Asahi on different teams, because you are both so bad that having the two of you on the same team is a great disadvantage and wouldn’t be fair to the third person playing with you. You spend most of the time doing nothing at the back and pointing as you laugh at each other, anyway.

Swimming in the sea makes you hungry, so you all head back inside for ice cream and snacks and take seats around the back porch table, playing made-up games of cards. When it’s time for dinner, you pressure Mashiho into letting you help him out, otherwise you know he’ll be complaining about doing all the work in a few days. You only have non-alcoholic drinks that night, and head to bed after watching a horror movie, which Jaehyuk really hated. It’s only night two, but so far, Asahi keeps his promise of eating you out every night, and you make sure to reward him for it.

And just like that, the days pass. You either stay at home and eat Mashiho’s food or go into town for dinner. You go to the bowling alley, or mini-golfing, or at the sea sports center that lets you try out surfing and jet skiing. You eat your fill three times a day and sometimes drink more than necessary. You also get into the habit of napping after lunch, the warmth of the three p.m. sun and your full stomach lulling you to sleep.

One such afternoon, you get a quirky little idea into your head. The boys start playing some games on the Nintendo Switch but you decide to go upstairs anyway and rest before you take on the afternoon. But napping without Asahi’s warmth or at least his presence next to you isn’t the same, and so you’re left tossing and turning in bed.

Your mind drifts naturally to last night’s debacles - how Asahi had sighed your name as he came, how he’d looked at you with half-lidded eyes while you rode him. You barely even notice it when you start rubbing your palm against your core, but when a surge of pleasure hits you, you sneak your hand under your panties and use two fingers to circle your clit gently. But you don’t want to get yourself off, not when your boyfriend is close by and you can ask him to make you feel good, because you know there’s little chance he’d say no. However, it’s siesta time, and you feel too drowsy to have proper sex, which is how you come up with your little idea.

“You’re not sleeping?” Asahi asks as he strips to his boxers and slips in the bed next to you when he’s done playing. You shake your head no, smiling gently up at him, and he takes you in his arms.

“I had an idea, actually,” you say into his chest.

“Oh yeah? What is it?”

You pull away slightly so you can look at him while you talk. “Well, you know how sometimes, after we’ve had sex, you stay inside for a little bit? Just because it feels nice,” you start.

“Mhm,” he hums, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

“Well, I thought we could do that now. Like, to fall asleep, or something,” you mutter, voice wavering out of shyness towards the end and you look away from his burning gaze.

“So, you’re telling me you want me to be inside you, and I can’t move, because we’re supposed to sleep like that?” he enunciates. You nod. “That sounds like torture, babe,” he says half-seriously.

“What? No! It’ll be nice!” you pout. 

He sighs, smiling fondly at you. “We can try, but I don’t think it’ll end the way you want it to. There’s a reason we usually do it after having sex, you know.”

“I know, but I wanna try anyway,” you say, excited by your small victory. 

You pump him a few times to get him hard enough but stop him when he tries to help you, too. “I’m already wet,” you admit coyly, which makes him smirk.

“You naughty girl. Touching yourself when I’m not even that far away?” he tuts.

“I was thinking about you.”

“Good,” he smiles. “So, how are we doing this?”

Instead of answering him, you turn around and lean your back against his chest, one leg hiked up higher than the other for easier access, then tilt your head back to look at him. “Like this?” you ask, pressing your ass against his erection, and he nods. He lines up his tip with your entrance and presses a kiss to your neck. “Okay, ready?”

“Mhm.”

He slips in easily, the both of you sighing when he’s pushed in all the way. One of his arms serves as your pillow while the other holds you close by the waist. You’re silent for a few minutes, pretending to be oblivious to the small groans or sighs that leave the other’s mouth when one of you squirms, trying to find the most comfortable position.

“Will you really sleep like this?” Asahi asks after a while, voice low but with a slight tremble to it, and you can tell he’s trying to reign himself in. Of course, you should’ve seen this coming - maybe you had, but decided to ignore what was very obviously going to happen, fooling your boyfriend and yourself at the same time. He’s been still inside you for at least ten minutes now, and even if it feels nice to just have him like this and feel close to him, it’d be a lie to say you didn’t want him to move and just fuck you properly already.

So, now was the time to ask yourself: did you want to keep the charade up, and tease your boyfriend a bit longer, or did you want to end your suffering and his at the same time? An easy question, of course; the second option was no fun.

You manage the smallest, sleepiest voice you can, and answer him. “Yeah, this is nice.” You’re glad your back is facing him so that he can’t see you smirk when he audibly groans, his grip on your waist getting just a bit tighter.

“Fine,” he says, as if to convince himself, but the way he curses under his breath when you move your hips a bit more boldly than previously tells you that it is not actually fine. “Please, stay still,” he whispers close to your ear, the edge of a whine to his voice.

“Sorry, baby,” you coo, feeling his dick twitch inside you - when said the right way and at the right time, he really loved this nickname, and so did his dick, apparently.

Not two minutes later, just as you squirm against him again, his hand moves from your waist to your belly, pressing down and holding there. “Babe,” he whispers, then takes a pause to kiss up your neck to your ear, sucking lightly on your lobe before speaking again. “Please. You’re killing me, and I know you’re doing this on purpose, hm? Just to rile me up. So let me fuck you, and then we can sleep, yeah? Please?” 

That last word is pronounced with so much desperation that you almost feel bad for keeping this up. It sends a shiver up your spine and you try to hide your smile but knowing you got him like putty in your hands so quickly brings you a bit too much pride and joy. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, baby, I’m not doing anything,” you say in a voice that makes it clear you know exactly what he’s talking about, and he scoffs at that.

“Yeah? Want me to show you, then?”

Just like that, a switch flicks inside both of you. You had him a second ago; now, with six small words, he has you. As he pronounces those words, his hand travels down to find your clit and with two fingers starts to rub lazy circles on it. “Look at you. So fucking wet, and yet you pretend like you don’t want this.” He tilts his head so that his lips are right next to your ears. “‘Cause in the end, you’re just my little slut, aren’t you?”

He doesn’t even let you react to his taunt that he’s already bucked up his hips into yours, harsh. The single thrust has you whimpering - in just a few sentences, he’d managed to break your whole innocent facade down, and you who thought you had him wrapped around your finger were now fully at your boyfriend’s mercy. He thrusts again, strong and deep, the position allowing him to hit a spot buried inside you that gets you moaning like no other, and he knows it - there have been too many cuddling-turned-into-fucking situations for him not to have noticed that you loved this position. And he did too: he had access to your clit with one hand and to your upper body with the other, could feel your whole body against his, and could hit deep inside you. What more could he ask for?

And because he got you weak for him in mere moments, why not add to it?

He settles on a slow and sensual pace to make it easier for him to whisper nasty things into your ear, all while his nimble fingers continue to play with your clit. “I want you to answer me when I ask you a question, baby. I said, aren’t you my little slut? Mm?” he taunts, his free hand making its way to your chin and grasping it, tilting your head so you look up at him, but your eyes are shut tight in pleasure as you mumble out incoherent words. “Open your eyes and look at me while you say it,” he orders.

You struggle to open them, but when you do, he can feel his blood coursing through his veins. Your pupils are completely blown out in lust, and the slight crease in your eyebrows as you look up at him makes you look like you’re almost in pain - if you can call his torturously slow place painful. All he knows is that this is the exact expression you wear when you give yourself over to him fully, and he has all the control he wants over your body.

“Yes…”

“Yes what, baby?”

“Yes, I’m just your little slut,” you finally repeat, cheeks heating up, somehow still feeling embarrassed even in the position you’re in, but the humiliation only adds to your arousal.

“That’s a good girl,” Asahi beams, planting a soft kiss on your lips and letting go of your chin. You immediately bury your face in your pillow in the hopes of muffling your moans, but Asahi is quick to stop you. “None of that, now,” he tuts. “I want to hear you.”

You whine when his fingers leave your clit for a second to hike your leg up higher, but it’s immediately replaced by a loud moan as the new angle allows him to go somehow even deeper. His thumb traces your bottom lip, and you open your mouth wider as if by instinct, letting him simply rest the digit on your tongue; this was a regular occurrence when you and Asahi had sex ever since he’d found out how much you loved his hands and particularly his long, delicate fingers.

“Fa-faster, please,” you manage to say around his thumb, and he chuckles.

“Faster? Of course, baby,” he says, and his pace immediately picks up. “See how easy it is to just ask for things? You know I’ll give you anything you want, so I don’t know why you always act like a damn brat and make things harder for the both of us,” he huffs, his thrusts getting rougher and rougher as he speaks. You hope no one can hear the lewd sound of his balls slapping against your ass.

If your boyfriend wasn’t railing you into the sheets, you’d be thinking, “yes, of course, I can just ask, but what’s the fun in that, when I can get to the same result by teasing you and pissing you off instead?”, but maybe that’s just the brat in you talking. If you hadn’t taunted him like you had, the orgasm probably would’ve been less satisfying - still good, of course, since this was Asahi, but you liked working for your reward.

And indeed, your orgasm is more than satisfactory, especially when your boyfriend wraps his slender fingers around your throat and presses just the right amount, making you gasp for air as you come undone around his dick. He chases his own high desperately, bucking his hips sloppily and rapidly into yours until he finally releases inside you, painting your walls white.

He barely gives you any time to catch your breath and drift down to earth that he’s already slipped out of you only to replace his dick with two fingers, stuffing his cum into your hole before it can drip out. He watches with a smirk as your back arches at the overstimulation, praising you for being such a good angel after he makes you lick his fingers clean.

He uses tissues to clean you both up, then reminds you to go to the bathroom before you fall asleep. When you come back, he’s waiting for you arms wide open, and pulls you into a tight embrace as soon as you reach the bed. He kisses the top of your head, voice muffled when he says “you were so good for me today baby.” You can’t help but whine at the sudden praise, flustered out of your mind from him saying it when you’re not having sex, and hide your blush by burying your face in his chest. 

It’s not everyday that Asahi shows you his meaner, rougher side, but when he does, you always sleep like a baby, your body sore from such intense pleasure. Sometimes, all it takes is a good fuck to sleep well.

-

A few days later, in an attempt to break your drinking-on-the-beach habit, Jaehyuk proposes that you all go out to the bars in New Town. Lucky for you, on vacations, you always pack for any occasion that may arise. Restaurant chic, restaurant casual, chilly evening, sweltering afternoon, beach day, mall outing, clubbing: name it, you have it. 

The dress you brought for an evening out in the town is the perfect balance between summery and sexy: it shows some cleavage and some legs and fits you at the waist but spreads out over your hips and isn't tight over your arms. The fabric is pretty, white with small blue flowers, light and comfortable. But the reason you like it so much is that it was the dress you wore on the day you and Asahi finally confessed your feelings for each other, and you know he loves it as well.

He seats on the bed, legs spread comfortably, as he waits for you. He’d been looking around the room absent-mindedly but his eyes settle on you as soon as you step out of the bathroom, a wide grin blooming on his face as soon as he sees the dress you’re wearing.

“How do I look?” you ask with a smile, spinning in your dress.

Asahi gets up and comes to stand in front of you, hands on each side of your waist, just holding you gently there. He peers down at you with only love in his eyes - in fact, it seems like his affection for you is oozing from every one of his pores. “You look beautiful,” he speaks in a low voice, and you blush at the honesty in his tone. As your friends had mentioned a few days ago, Asahi had been extremely shy at the beginning of your relationship, looking away immediately when you made eye contact and getting nervous when simply holding hands, but now he could hold your gaze and compliment you like it was nothing. If anything, you’re the one getting flustered now.

“Pff, whatever,” you say to avert his attention from your bashfulness, but it just makes him laugh fondly at you. You’ll find another time to get back at him, you think.

“Wait here,” he suddenly says, “I’ve got something for you.”

“Ooh, a gift?” you perk up, but he just gives you an enigmatic style. You watch as he walks over to the bag he’d packed for the trip and unzips a hidden inside pocket, taking out a small box from it.

“Sahi…”

“Stand in front of a mirror,” he says softly, so you head back inside the bathroom, and he follows right after. He opens the box, revealing a silver necklace with a thin chain and the prettiest star pendant hanging from it.

“Is this-” you start, recognising the style of the jewelry immediately.

“Yep. I saw you browse through that brand’s Instagram too often to not get you anything. And look,” he says, holding up the underside of the pendant for you to see: a capital ‘A’ is inscribed in it. He holds up his wrist, showing you a bracelet you hadn’t seen before that looks like a slightly more masculine version of your necklace, and sure enough, it’s got the same star on one side and the first letter of your name on the other.

“It’s so pretty, baby, thank you so much, but,” you murmur, in slight disbelief at the sudden gift, “what’s all this for?”

He pouts his lips in thought as he hooks the piece of jewelry around your neck, letting the pendant rest between your collarbones, then sets his palms lightly on your shoulders, finding your eyes in the reflection of the mirror. “No reason, really. Just felt like getting you a gift, then thought I’d do this whole romantic thing on the beach here but…” he stops here briefly, bending down to press his lips to your neck, making you need to take a deep breath in. “We’re going out tonight, and so many guys are going to see you looking like this… and I know what you’ll say, that I’m the one you’re going home with, but still, it’ll reassure me to know you have my initial around your neck. Even if it's just the two of us that are aware,” he ends with a small smile as he looks up at you.

“Hm,” you hum, mirroring his smile, “I like the sound of that.” His smile gets wider at your words, and he turns you around to press a firm kiss to your lips. You know the two of you, so you pull away before you can get carried away. “Let’s go now so they don’t chastise us for taking forever,” you say, and he nods, eyes already slightly blown-out from the simple kiss and proximity you just shared. 

Because it’s Jaehyuk, or maybe because his family beach house is in a really expensive city, he takes you to a fancy bar that charges ten bucks for a cocktail that probably has two drops of alcohol in it. When he’s had enough of you and your friends’ complaints, he caves in and agrees to take you to a place with a more relaxed atmosphere, and although he “doesn’t see what was so wrong with the last place,” even he has to agree that this new bar, with its decoration that’s cheesy in a heartwarming way, music you can sing along to and beer pong tables strangers can compete against each other on, is a lot more fun. 

You find an empty table big enough for all six of you at the back of the bar. Pushed by your eagerness to drink and the friendly ambiance around you, a surge of generosity hits you and you decide to pay for everyone’s first drink here. Sumin walks with you to the counter, the both of you leaving the table under the happy cheers and whoops of your friends.

There’s a bit of a line at the bar, but at least you’re not queuing by yourself. You haven’t even been waiting a minute for the bartender to notice you that a random guy sitting has already struck conversation with you and Sumin. In five minutes of talking to him, you learn that his name is Jake, that he’s here on vacation with his friends (whose table he points to, the three men waving at you) and that “you two ladies” are welcome to join them for a beer pong match later on. Judging by the four empty beer pints he brought with him and is waiting to be freshened, he’s not completely sober, which you guess is why he’s so talkative. You don’t mind it, though - his smile is contagious and he comes off more as overbearingly friendly than as threatening.

The bartender takes your order of six pints of beer and Sumin’s - who decided she’d also be generous tonight - of six tequila shots. She tells Jake you’re with your friends, but that beer pong sounds fun and she’ll pitch it to them. You wave Sieun and Mashiho over to help you carry the drinks back since they are the ones seated closest to the bar. Jake greets them with a smile then waves as you walk away with your drinks. You don’t notice the way his eyes linger on your figure as you head back to your table, but someone else definitely does.

Asahi hadn’t really paid attention to the interaction at first - you were just going to get drinks. But of course, he always likes keeping an eye on you, just to make sure everything’s okay, and he just can’t help but steal glances at you when you’re in the same room as him but not by his side. Oh, there’s a guy talking to you and Sumin. Whatever, that’s what people do in pubs, right? Chat up random strangers.

You’re smiling at the stranger. Well, that’s fine, of course. You’re friendly, and you’re polite. Why wouldn’t you be smiling?

Now you’re laughing. That guy probably made a joke or something. Laughing is just the nice thing to do! Nothing to worry about.

Finally, you’re heading back towards the table. Finally, that pretty smile of yours is directed towards him and not a random guy - wait, what the fuck? What’s up with that look he’s giving you? The eyeing your figure up and down, the smirk that appears on his face, Asahi sees it all. He can’t really blame the guy - if he thinks you’re the most gorgeous being on this planet, then surely other people will find you pretty, or sexy, or whatever. He just wishes that guy didn’t have to show his interest so openly.

Jaehyuk elbows him slightly in the ribs, snapping Asahi out of his thoughts. “Maybe if you stare harder, that guy will burst into flames,” his friend teases but Asahi just chuckles dryly. He opens an arm when he sees you approach, beckoning you to his embrace after you put the drinks down on the table. He wraps a protective arm around your shoulder and presses a kiss to your forehead, then pulls away to look down at you with a smile. You’re a bit taken aback as your boyfriend is usually not the biggest fan of PDA, especially when it’s not just you and your friends, but you chalk his behavior up to the party atmosphere of the place and to the cocktail he had at the previous bar.

What you don’t know, however, is that he had kept his eyes trained on the guy at the bar when you couldn’t see it. A smirk appeared on Asahi’s face as he made eye contact with him just as he placed that kiss to your forehead, effectively letting him know you weren’t available. The guy - Jake, he found out when Sumin told them about a potential beer pong game - smirked sarcastically and turned away, grabbing his own drinks before heading back to his friends. That should do it.

Sieun raises her shot glass, gesturing for everybody to do the same, and tells Jaehyuk to give a small speech.

“Why me?” he asks defensively, a surprised look on his face.

“‘Cause you talk so well, always saying stuff just to say stuff. Go on then,” she prods, nodding her glass towards him.

He clears his throat and raises the shooter a bit higher, then looks at each one of you with intent. He’s so stupidly serious that you, Mashiho and Sumin can’t contain your snorts, but Asahi and Sieun are waiting expectantly. “I thank you, my friends, for joining me on this trip and bringing fun and happiness to the house. We’ve got four days left here, so let’s make the most of them, and let’s have fun tonight as well. Whoever those boys you guys talked to are, let’s destroy them at beer pong,” he declares, earning himself appreciative hums from the table. “Now, get your salt and lime ready, and let’s do this.” He waits for everyone to get their shot ready. “Alright. To us, and to friendship. Cheers!” he exclaims, ending his speech on a cute note. You scoff jokingly at how lame of a toast that was but bring your glass forth anyway, clinking it with your friends’ as you all echo his ‘cheers’. In almost perfect synchronization, the six of you lick the salt off of your hand, swallow down the tequila and bite into the lime to make the stinging taste go away. You turn to Asahi, giggling at his scrunched-up nose because of the alcohol even though you’re wearing the exact same expression.

Some thirty minutes later, Jake and who you guess are his friends stroll up to your table, asking if you’re ready for the game. With two shots (because Jaehyuk and Mashiho went to get some more) and one pint of beer in your systems, no one at the table is in a mood to refuse playing against strangers, especially if the game involves more alcohol. No one save for Asahi, whose grip on your waist gets slightly tighter, enough for you to notice but not enough to question, but with how eager everyone is to play, he doesn’t have much of a choice.

Jake’s friends’ names, you quickly learn, are Heeseung, Jay and Sunghoon, and they all study at the same university. The ten of you divide into two teams: Jake, Jay, Mashiho, Sumin and you versus Heeseung, Sunghoon, Asahi, Jaehyuk and Sieun. They didn’t let you and Asahi on the same team because your friends hate seeing you happy, apparently.

Except for Jay, who brushes every miss off with a laugh, Jake and his friends are really good at beer pong, and make almost every shot. Although you should be rooting for your team, you cheer whenever your friends succeed in getting the ping-pong ball in the cup on your end, even when you’re the one who has to gulp down the cheap beer. Mashiho, Jaehyuk and Sieun are the pride of your friend group in terms of beer pong ability (Jaehyuk and Sieun say they practiced to ‘impress the ladies’ while Mashiho just has a natural talent for that kind of stuff). To your dismay, however, whenever it’s your turn to drink, it’s Sieun’s turn to shoot, and by the second time she lands a shot, you know you’re not finishing this game sober. When it’s your third time having to drink, you complain she’s gonna get you wasted, and Jake suddenly grabs the drink from your hand, gulping it down quickly. He waves you off with a smile when you thank him, and you’re surprised by his hero-like behavior. 

Asahi, whose turn is after Sieun’s, is lucky that you’re not very skilled, the alcohol not helping, and so that he doesn’t have to drink. Asahi. Right, Asahi. He’s not usually this quiet during night-outs, liking to watch your drunk friends’ reactions to his stupid grimaces and skits, but he doesn’t seem to want to participate in the fun tonight. On your third go, you warn your teammates to not expect too much. You pick up the small ball and lift your arm, ready to aim aimlessly, until you feel a warm hand wrapping itself around yours and a presence, ghost-like behind you. Without a word, Jake moves your hand and helps you throw, delivering a perfect shot. But you wouldn’t have known the ball had landed in a cup had the cheers around you not been so loud, because you weren’t looking at the ball’s trajectory.

You were looking up at your boyfriend from across the table. His arms are crossed and his eyes are so focused on something - or rather, someone - that he’s squinting hard, almost angry. But he’s not looking at you. You follow his gaze until you reach Jake, who’s smirking back at him as if victorious, and everything falls into place.

Your boyfriend is jealous.

Now, this is a rare occasion. Even if you and Asahi are both the type to be completely oblivious when somebody is flirting with you, or even when you’re accidentally flirting with somebody, you always notice when someone is flirting with the other. However, when that happens, you just stride up to them and the other person and make it clear that you’re dating so that the other person doesn’t embarrass themselves further, and then you head home and laugh about it. There is too much trust in your relationship for there to be that much jealousy - just a normal amount, things like “let me know who you’re going with and when you’ll be back,” “and who’s that person?” or “but we haven’t hung out much this week, can you stay with me this one time?”. Most importantly, you never do anything to make the other jealous on purpose, and if one of you has a bout of jealousy, you talk about it.

But that look in his eyes, the way he’s staring Jake down and the way he doesn’t even seem happy when he lands the shot, making Jake drink - he’s so obvious. He’s probably not even trying to hide it. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you just a tiny bit proud. You like these sides of Asahi that he keeps hidden most of the time, and possessive slash jealous Asahi in particular is very hot. Your favorite part about it is that right now, he’s acting like he’s all tough to ward Jake off, but you know he’ll be putty in your hands as soon as you get home, and you can’t wait.

You really can’t wait.

You sneak over to the opposite team’s side and snake your hands around your boyfriend’s waist when you reach him. You look up at him but he avoids your gaze, making you smile fondly.

“Sahi.”

“Hm?”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t it be?” he answers, finally looking down at you briefly, as if exchanging a glance will convince you.

“If I told you I wanted to go home,” you start, voice dipping a bit lower, “really badly,” you say as you trail a finger up his bare arm, satisfied to see goosebumps appearing on his skin, “would you come home with me?”

That gets his attention for sure. “I’ll go get our stuff,” he says before disappearing. He’s back in thirty seconds and you’ve barely had time to tell your friends you were leaving that he’s practically dragging you out of the bar.

“See you around, Y/N,” Jake says, but your boyfriend doesn’t let you answer.

“No, she won’t.”

You try hard to bite back a smile but as soon as you’re outside, the streets still bustling with young people trying to find a nice place to drink and the sun not even fully set yet, you’re beaming hard.

It’s not that cold, but Asahi drapes his jean jacket over your shoulders anyway, and you let him do it. You walk in silence, hand in hand, and you can almost see smoke coming out of his nose. You let him calm down for the whole duration of the walk back to Jaehyuk’s house, neither of you speaking up until you’re in the kitchen, standing on each side of the island counter and he’s filled two glasses of water. 

“So, wanna tell me what that was all about?” you say, finally breaking the silence.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lies, staring off into the distance with a slight frown.

“Babe, it’s written all over your face that you’re mad. Tell me why,” you prod, even though you know very well the reason behind his anger.

He sighs and looks at the marble countertop like there’s something interesting there. “That guy… Jake, or whatever his name was. He just… ugh, he just kept looking at you, and touching you, and I fucking hated it. He knew we were dating, I made it very, very clear. It was like he was doing it on purpose. And you didn’t- Why didn’t you- Did you not notice, or something?” he asks, his eyes finally looking into yours as if searching for an answer there. His voice had gone from frustrated to desperate, and that, paired with the crease in his brows as he looks at you, makes you think naughty thoughts. 

You walk over to his side of the counter, never breaking eye contact and wearing a small smile that tries to be reassuring. When you’re finally in front of him, you rest both of your palms on his chest and his hands come naturally on each side of your hips. You think you might melt at the way he’s looking at you, desperately waiting for comforting words or actions, like you’re the only one that can make him feel better about this. 

“As soon as I noticed, I came over to you and we left, baby,” you coo, trailing one of your hands from his chest to his cheek, cupping it, and he closes his eyes as he rests his head on your palm, your warmth coming as a much-needed relief to him. You swipe your thumb across his cheek in a loving caress. “You know I wouldn’t make you jealous on purpose.” You take a step closer to him and his arms wrap themselves around your waist, holding you tighter. “And you know you’re the only one I’d want to go home with, anyway.”

At that, he opens just one eye. “Really?”

You chuckle fondly at your boyfriend. “Of course, baby. Look,” you say and wait for him to open his other eye, then take the small pendant he’d gifted you a few hours ago and turn it around in your fingers so that the engraved ‘A’ is blinking up at him. “I literally have your initial around my neck.”

This should be enough to convince him, and maybe it is, but he decides to push it further anyway, coaxing more reassurance out of you. His eyes drop to the floor and his lips form a pout as he murmurs, “How do I know you’re telling the truth, though…”, then sneaks a glance at you, as if to gauge your reaction, and you understand immediately what he wants.

“Do you want me to show you, instead?” you ask, face so close to his that your whisper fans over his lips. You mirror his smile when he nods shyly, which you take as an invitation to press your lips to his, so you do. You want to keep the kiss light and soft, but Asahi seems to be in some kind of a hurry, judging by his fast-moving lips and hands grabbing everywhere they can. You lean back to look at him and push some hair away from his face. “I’m not going anywhere, baby,” you say as you smile and bring your nose to his, brushing the tips together, which brings a smile to his face. “I’m right here.”

When a strong huff escapes Asahi’s nose, you pull away and wait for him to explain what’s bothering him. “I know, I know that, I just… You weren’t looking at him at all, I know that, but he was, and God, I don’t know why but it just pissed me off. Him and his friends, and they were looking at Sumin and Sieun too, you know, but obviously it bothered me more when they looked at you. And it makes sense ‘cause you’re the prettiest girl ever, and who wouldn’t look at you, but also I want to be the only want to look at you, but also it doesn’t matter as long as you’re only looking at me, but-”

You cut him off with a peck. “I only have eyes for you, my love,” you whisper against his lips. “C’mon,” you say, taking him by the hand and leading him to the bedroom - you’re not going to risk having one of your friends come home and walk in on you giving head to your boyfriend in the kitchen.

When you get to the bed, you push gently down on his shoulders so that he sits at the edge of the mattress. Your eyes never leave each other, and the expectant look he wears paired with the fact that he’s handing over the control to you for once makes you want to do all kinds of things to him. However, you have a very set goal you must stay focused on for tonight.

You take a step between his legs and his hands come up naturally to your waist. There is only love and awe in your gaze as you brush your hands through his hair and all around his head until they come down to cup his face for a second, then continue their way to his shoulders. His eyes are closed as if he wants to focus on your touch only, and they stay that way even when he starts to feel you unbuttoning his shirt slowly and take the light piece of fabric off of him, leaving his upper body naked.

You sink down to your knees in front of him, tracing a fingernail down his chest and abs and watching as his muscles flex underneath your teasing touch. You take your time just tracing patterns on his skin and leaving kisses here and there, and by his growing erection and the way he’s grabbing at the sheets behind him you can tell that even with how much he wants you to stop playing around, he also wants to be patient and good for you.

Your hands come down to his knee and you rub up and down his thighs a few times, getting closer to his inner thighs and to his erection every time until you finally press a palm over it, smiling when he releases an audible sigh at the small relief you’re finally giving him.

“You have no idea how much I love you, Sahi,” you say in a low voice as you start unbuckling his belt, still taking your sweet time. “I’d do anything to make you happy, and I want to be the only one who can make you feel good, so don’t ever think I’m looking at anyone else.”

He lets out a low hum in response, and you press a kiss to his lower belly before fully undoing his belt and his trousers. You ask him to raise his hips so you can take them off along with his underwear, and you finally have him fully naked in front of you. His eyebrows are creased and his breathing is already heavy and irregular without you having done much. He can’t even stop a moan from leaving his lips when you take him in your hand and start to very slowly bring your palm up and down his shaft, using the precum that’s already started to gather at his tip as lube. Your other hand is on his thighs, caressing it gently and sometimes grabbing at the skin. “So hard for me, hm?” you murmur, just to rile him up a bit.

When you start to pick up your pace just a bit, you bend your head down to press kisses to his thighs and bite the soft, sensitive flesh of his inner thighs to leave red marks there. At this point, his head is thrown back in pleasure, and with the house fully empty, he is not afraid to be as loud as he wants. Strings of curses and your name are constantly escaping him as well as groans and whines when something feels particularly good. When you lick a long stripe up his shaft and circle your tongue around his tip, he’s practically a gone man, his loud moans filling the room as he tries and fails to not buck his hips up into your mouth. 

You come up for a breath of air, replacing your mouth with your hand so he doesn’t lose his momentum. “Are you gonna cum for me, baby? Make a mess all over my hand?” you taunt right before taking him back in your mouth, going down on his cock as far as you can. In mere seconds, you feel his thighs start to shake underneath your palms and his moans start to get higher in pitch, a sure sign of his climax being close. Usually, you’d swallow around his cock, but you’ve got another idea for tonight so you pull away and jerk him off as fast as you can while playing with his balls.

“C-coming…” he warns uselessly as ropes of his hot, white cum shoot all over his stomach and on your hand. You don’t let him calm down before taking his chin in your hand and tilting it down to make him look at you as you lick your fingers clean first, then his stomach, the taste of his cum and sweat filling your mouth. 

“Fuck, you’re hot,” he breathes out in disbelief when you’re done with your little show, making you chuckle. He lets his body collapse onto the bed and you follow him, resting on your side with your head on your palm so you can trace your fingernail over his bicep and look at him as his breathing slows down, eyes closed and smiling peacefully. Your pretty angel. Only you get to see him like this, and you’re eternally grateful for that honor.

“I should get jealous more often,” he jokes after a few minutes when you thought he’d fallen asleep.

“I’ll always remind you that you’re the only one I want,” you whisper, making him open his eyes to look at you. That’s when he realizes that you’re still fully clothed while he’s butt naked. 

He sits up, and before you can say anything, he’s taken your spot on the floor, kneeling at the edge of the mattress, and he pulls you towards him by the hips. His hands ride up your thighs, pushing the skirt of your dress over your hips to reveal your soaking panties to him. “God, you’re so wet,” he marvels at the sight of the wet patch on your underwear. You hadn’t even realized your core had been aching this whole time, so focused you were on making him feel good.

“You don’t need to, Sahi-”

“I want to,” he says, effectively cutting you off, then licks a stripe up your clothed core, the simple action enough to have you whimpering. Something - maybe your scent, or your taste, or the sounds you’re making, or all three - seems to take over him, and suddenly he’s a starved man. Not even bothering to take them off, he pushes your panties to the side and starts sucking at your clit so hard it’s almost painful, but the sting only adds to the pleasure. He’s always passionate when he eats you out, but this is another level of desire and eagerness to make you feel good that just makes your whole body weak and your throat raw with how much you’re moaning.

The knot in your stomach is already close to bursting not even a minute in, so you force Asahi to pull away and gesture for him to get on the bed, “please” and “I need you” leaving your lips like they’re the only things you can say. He’d usually chuckle at your impatience, but this time, he obeys you without a word, eyes half-lidded and blown out with lust, and cock already hard again.

He sits up on the bed, back against the headboard, and urges you to come and straddle his hips. Even now you’re still too restless to take your underwear off so you push it to the side once again as you line yourself up with his tip and sit down on him, bottoming out quickly. He gives you no time to adjust to his size before thrusting up into you, hard and desperate, and you’re so wet that he slips right in anyway. You’re a moaning mess on top of him, and he’s a moaning mess underneath you. Your hands can’t stay still, going from holding onto his shoulders, to clawing at his back, to tugging harshly at his hair. His arms are wrapped around your waist, sometimes holding you by the hips and bringing you down onto his cock just as he bucks his own into yours.

One of the reasons that you love sex with Asahi, other than the fact that you love him more than your heart can handle, is that it is always different and exciting. Tonight, you’re absolutely lost in each other, rendering your body to pleasure and your desire for each other. His scent takes up all of your senses, the pure bliss he is making you feel is intoxicating and you can’t think of anything else, only him. And judging from the expressions and the sounds he’s making, he feels the same way.

It all gets too much; he’s hitting the exact right spots and touching you just the way you like it, like you won’t break, like you’re solid under his touch and he can hold on tight, even leaving bruises. All you can do is collapse on top of him and hope he has enough strength for the both of you. His grip on you fastens even further, holding you as close as physically possible to him, but even that is barely enough. You just want to stop feeling where your body stops and his starts; you want the two of you to become one.

Just when you think it couldn’t get better, Asahi starts talking. The words flow out of his mouth like he’s not thinking about them, and he can’t halt them. “I‘m gonna… gonna cum inside you, gonna fill you up with my cum and put a baby inside that beautiful body of yours. Gonna give you a fucking baby and then everybody will know you’re mine and mine only.” Almost every word is punctuated with a harsh thrust, and you can only moan back in response.

And finally, everything that had formed into the tightest of knots inside of you undoes itself all at once, and your orgasm ripples through your body in waves, your body shaking on top of his as the feeling of your walls clenching around him like they never have before send him tumbling over the edge as well, pulling a second release out of him tonight.

The both of you stay there for a few blissful moments, simply waiting for your breath to resume their normal pace and for your senses to come back down from such an intense high. His hands roam your back and your fingers graze through his hair, anchoring touches as if trying to tether yourselves to each other. 

You manage to recuperate a bit of energy and ask Asahi if he wants to go take a shower to clean up together, which he sleepily but gladly agrees to. He even starts a bath, which you tip-toe into after you’ve soaped each other clean in the shower, not without some giggles, wandering hands and curious lips. You sit back between his legs, letting the combined warmth of his body and of the water relax you.

“I’m sorry about tonight,” he suddenly apologizes after he’d been silently tracing patterns on your forearm for a small while.

“What? Why?” you ask, voice laced with concern as you turn your head, the side of it resting on his chest so that you can hear his heartbeat. Slow and steady, as always. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I did, though. I got jealous for no reason and made you go home earlier on our night-out with our friends when none of it was even your fault.” He buries his face in your hair and presses a small kiss to the crown of your head.

You think for a few seconds before speaking next. “It’s normal to get jealous sometimes. If there was a girl chatting you up even though she knew you were in a relationship - which has happened before, by the way - I’d get jealous too. Especially cause you’re so oblivious,” you tease, and he cracks a small chuckle.

“I can’t argue with you on that one. But you’re not a lot better.”

“That’s true,” you smile. “And anyway, it’s not like either of us gets super possessive or anything. A little jealousy never hurt anyone. And I kinda like it, you know,” you add as an afterthought, smiling shyly as you take one of his hands in yours and play with his fingers. “It makes me feel like you’re mine as much as I’m yours.”

“Of course I am,” he says, bending down to kiss your ear and your cheek, making you giggle. “I’m all yours.”

“Sahi?” you call out after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“Mm?”

“Do you actually want a baby?” you ask, remembering his earlier words, and you feel his body tense underneath you.

“Oh- God- um, about that, I, um- No! No, I don’t-”

“Oh…” you say, surprising yourself at how disappointed you are.

“I mean, yes! Yes, I do, of course I want to have babies, just not right now. But I want to have babies with you, at some point. If that’s okay, I mean. Like, if you don’t want babies, that’s fine-”

Your giggles interrupt his rambling, and he can’t help but chuckle himself. “Okay, babies, but not right now. We’re too young. But at some point.”

“At some point,” he repeats, and presses an umpteenth kiss to your head.

“What was that talk all about earlier, then?”

“Just… possessiveness, I guess. As a disclaimer, I don’t actually believe that you’ll belong to me just because I knock you up, or anything, this isn’t the Middle Ages,” he defends, making you giggle again. “And I don’t think you belong to me, at all. Not more than in the sense of I love you and you love me, so we’re each other’s, if that makes sense.”

“That makes sense,” you reassure.

“But… I don’t know… The thought of my baby in you…” he says, then takes a deep breath as if to steady himself. “Let’s just say it’s a very, very nice thought.”

You stay in the bath until the water grows cold, talking about this and that and feeling the other’s skin under your fingertips. You barely bother to dry off before getting into the bed, letting the other’s warmth and the mild heat of a summer night do the job. It takes you a while to fall asleep because you’ve both got a surge of energy from the bath, and you can’t stop giggling at nothing and planting small kisses all over each other’s faces, hands grabbing at whatever skin they can find and playing with the other’s hair. Around three a.m., just as you decide you need to calm down and go to sleep, your friends come home and cause a ruckus loud enough in the kitchen that it reaches your ears as they, you guess, make late-night ramen to appease their ebriety before going to bed.

Finally, at some point, you let the low hum of the fan, the whoosh of the waves coming to you through the open window and your boyfriend’s quiet snores lull you to sleep, and you fall into the arms of Morpheus with a smile on your face.

-

Because time doesn’t care about your fun, you wake up one day, and it’s already your last day of vacation.

You all spend the morning and half of the afternoon packing and cleaning up the house, or at least the parts you used, even if Jaehyuk hired cleaning staff to come after you left. Still, it’s the least you can do to not leave it disgusting. 

You’re done around five p.m., and you decide to relax a bit before dinner, so you and Asahi head to the beach - for some alone time, he specifies, so that no one follows you there. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what the two are up to - you’ve been spending the whole day brushing past the other and leaving subtle touches here and there or looking at the other with nothing less than sex in your eyes, purposefully trying to rile the other up in a silence game of who will give in first. 

You know you’ve won when Asahi presses into you as soon as you’ve set your little camp on the beach, which consists of a huge beach towel and a wide umbrella to hide you from both the burning sun rays and the burning stares of other beachgoers.

“What did I tell you the other day about being a brat, hm?” he taunts as he hovers over you, planting wet, ravenous kisses to your neck as his thumb plays with your bikini-covered clit. 

“As if you weren’t acting the same,” you say, retaliating by palming him over his swimming trunks. In moments like these, your impatience takes over your want to tease the other, and you often end up helping each other get ready with hungry touches and open-mouthed kisses before Asahi pushes himself into you, waiting for a small moment before setting a quick and steady pace. It’s lighthearted and you can’t stop smiling even when the pleasure sets itself in your whole body, making your blood run quicker and your heart beat harder.

Asahi, who’d been desperately trying to hide his boner for the last few hours, can’t stop himself for cumming first, but he gives you no time to tease him about it, because you’ve barely opened your mouth to say something that he’s already pulled out, replaced his cock with two of his long fingers, and attached his lips to your clit, making you yelp in surprise. His tongue and digits know their way around your core like no other, and in what feels like five minutes, he’s made you cum twice around them.

“What was that for?” you ask out of breath when he’s snaked his way back up your body, after licking his fingers clean of your slick, of course.

“For making fun of me for cumming first. I can’t help it that you feel so good, you know,” he smirks, tucking sticky strands of hair because of sweat behind your ear.

“But I didn’t even say anything!”

“Didn’t need to, you were thinking it hard enough.” You punch his shoulder playfully - you’re pretending to be annoyed when there’s really nothing to complain about when your boyfriend decides to give you two orgasms in a row as ‘punishment,’ and he knows that.

Your bodies feel a bit gross from sweat so you put on your swimsuits back on and race each other to the sea, jumping in immediately without a care for how cold the water feels against your sun-heated skin. Splashing each other and playing around soon turns into making out with your hips hooked around his waist, the sea making you weigh nothing in his arms. You savor his taste especially today because this is the last day where you’ll get to kiss him, wet and salty and like he holds summer on his tongue.

You return to the beach after a while to eat the snacks you brought with and rest some, Asahi cuddling your body and resting his head between your breasts as you read the single book you’d brought on this trip and had read maybe fifty pages in two weeks from.

Sieun’s voice calling out from a few meters away gently pierces your little bubble of warmth and comfort. “We’re getting ready for dinner and Jaehyuk is making us cocktails, if you guys wanna join.”

You quickly pack up your stuff and the three of you head back to the house. “What kind of cocktails is he making?” you ask.

She smiles before answering, recognising the irony of her next words. “Sex on the beach.”

-

That night, as the six of you watch the fireworks that Jaehyuk and Asahi set off and that you’d bought on your first day here, you take a second to look around at your friends and their smiling faces, without a care in the world, illuminated by the colorful lights. You feel your boyfriend’s hold on your waist tighten as he brings you closer to him and lets you rest your head on his shoulder. Wherever they are, I’ll be happy. Wherever he is, I’ll be home, you think. Even if you’ve got years of life and countless adventures waiting in front of you, right now, you’re just enjoying the moment, happy to be here, surrounded by the people you love. It doesn’t feel like it could get better than this, and yet.

Your boyfriend looks down at you and you raise your head from his shoulder to look at him. You smile at each other as the others ‘ooh’ and ‘ah’ at the bright displays of smoke and fire in the night sky. His eyes tell you that there are many more happy moments to come, indeed.

permanent taglist: @k-ingzo @bbujiikseu @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts (ask to be removed/added!)

© asahicore on tumblr, 2023. please do not repost, translate or plagiarize my works. feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

[rikitachiquita]

bananas for you 🍌 || s. jake

•synopsis: y/n didn't really enjoy science but her crush did. and a silly experiment on bananas might help her with said crush

•genre: oneshot, y/n x jake, highschool au, written (0,5k words) and screenshots

Science was not y/n’s favorite subject. But indeed it was jakes. 

Obviously, like a normal teenage girl at school, since her crush liked one subject, she had to like it too. And she also liked having good grades, so studying wasn’t that. Either way, if she ever failed the subject she could ask Jake to tutor her. But that was her secret plan b.

Today was a very fun day, because it was lab-day. They would be doing some type of experiment related to the dna, the topic they were learning lately.

The teacher caught your attention “Ok class, today we are going to extract DNA from bananas” the whole class let out a little gasp, excited to be doing something different than usual.

“But before that, let’s have a brief introduction. Did you know that all bananas share the same dna?  They are all clones! and there’s only one type of banana that is eaten in the entire world! That's why they are always endangered: if they get infected by a parasite, they risk extinction. that already happened in the 50s: your great grandparents probably ate a different kind of banana that doesn’t exist anymore because it was infected by the parasite of panama. And it’s possible that we won’t have bananas in 50 years” the teacher explained

“Ok now i’ll make small groups of 4 people to do the experiment”

He made the groups and you ended up with Danielle, your best friend, Heeseung and Jake. jake. your crush. This was going to be fun.

The first step was to take a banana and smash it very well until it was basically liquid.

“Smash the banana” said Heeseung to Jake

“But maybe the girls want to do it. y/n do you want to do it” Jake said

“I don’t but I know Danielle and she can’t wait to do it.” You responded with a smile and gave Danielle a funny look. your best friend seemed very happy that you mentioned that. She quickly took the spoon and started smashing the banana. Heeseung in the meantime, was taking videos to make a report later on.

“Do you know what she is saying?” asked Jake, close to your ear so you were the only one that heard the question. she was referencing to danielle, who was still smashing the banana, while also singing quietly the same part of a song

“Chulo.” you responded

“What?” asked the boy

“Chulo, that one reggaeton song that is really catchy”

“Oh my god I love that song actually” he said smiling fondly. his smile was so pretty that it almost made you mad

“Do you also like reggaeton?” you asked surprised, since he didn’t look like the type of guy to listen to that kind of music.

“Yeah I actually do, surprisingly. You do too, right?”

“Yeah, it fills me with energy, especially in the morning when i don’t feel like getting out of bed” you admitted

“Y/n, we should go to that one cafè place that only puts reggaeton together after school” Jake proposed with a small smile

“That is such a good idea, I can't wait” you responded, blushing.

The experiment was long forgotten

masterlist

• author's note: another fruit one shot cause they are so fun, i love them!!!! i did this experiment at school last week, so yeah i had to make this. i hope the science part is actually right 😭 anyways yeonjun being the teacher is so funny to me. check the other fruit one shots!!

[asurrogateblog]

Cannibals, Pirates, and PhDs: How Did I Get Here?

I mentioned in some tags earlier that I’ve only actually been a real fan of Pink Floyd for under a year, and that the confluence of events that led up to it is pretty absurd. Some interest seemed to be taken in this, so I though I’d elaborate.

I didn’t know how to shorten this timeline and have it make any sense, so it’s... long. But idk, I think it’s pretty funny. If you’re nosy like I am this is for you.

My Backstory Timeline:

early childhood: my parents essentially mainline me and my little sister with The Beatles. I know almost no songs written past the 70’s until at least sixth grade. I develop a childhood crush on Paul McCartney, a joke that the universe really decides to play the long game on.

2014: my dad calls me over one night, and gravely tells me he’s been waiting to share something until I’m old enough. I brace myself to be told about sex or secret half-siblings. Instead, he tells me I need to listen to The Wall. Irritated at the idea of wasting an hour and half of my night, I nevertheless comply and go up to my room and put it on. I do not come back from this, clearly having inherited some sort of generational curse.

Around the same time, I am also secretly watching Hannibal every time my parents send me upstairs because Game of Thrones is “too gory”. This will trigger three important things: an interest in psychology, a love of horror media, and a classical music phase will train my attention span to last well past the three minute mark.

2014-2023: Over the intervening years, I become a casual fan of Pink Floyd, but make a deliberate point not to learn anything about the band. I like being able to imagine my own meanings for the songs. Also, I am motivated against this by a childhood memory of being deeply frightening by a picture of old Paul McCartney (LOL). I do not want that to ever happen again, so no learning.

Cut to April of 2023: I am finishing up my first year of my PhD program studying media psychology. I am in a bad place mentally, and am going through another horror movie phase to fill the hole. As a result, I get very into American Psycho. The main character, Patrick Bateman, is a fan of superficial 80’s pop music, particularly Genesis. I decide to start listening to Genesis to see if I agree with his tastes. While researching “best Genesis albums”, I come across The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway. I listen to it, and am blown away. I had no idea that the Phil Collins band made music like that. This sends me down the prog-rock rabbit hole. I still won't learn any lore.

Summer of 2023: MEANWHILE, I am also going through another pirate phase. I have a fairly encyclopedic knowledge of 18th century piracy (and am still quite active in the Black Sails fan community). Around this time, I get really obsessed with this one random guy named Dennis McCarthy who was hanged in 1718.

I decide to work poor Dennis into a science fiction story I’ve been working on. The premise is essentially that the universe is an abandoned simulation, and a ‘glitch in the matrix’ starts to, among other things, bring people from the wrong time periods back to life. The format of the story is vaguely monster-of-the-week, in which the characters have to solve various problems caused by mistakes in the code. I think, “hey, you know what would be perfect for this? that fanfic I wrote about The Wall in high school.” Said fic (which that stupid fucking beatles movie stole from me) is about a world in which Pink Floyd never existed, but a wannabe rock-star discovers a box full of their records and decides to copy them. While he is touring his plagiarized version of The Wall, he realizes that the events of the album are starting to happen to him in real life. By working this concept into my new story, I go through another one of my periodical The Wall phases. It's in full swing when fall rolls around.

September of 2023: This semester, I take a grad-level narrative theory class in the English department. I decide it would be helpful to follow along with a specific example, so I choose The Wall. Using the terminology I am learning in the class, I start to realize that The Wall is…. incredibly narratologically fucked up. To help orient me, I watch the bootleg concert recordings, and the trick with the surrogate band sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore.

This is where the two plot-lines converge. I don’t remember which came first, but around this same time, I think to myself “hey, if Genesis was hiding such an incredible album under the 80’s pop, what must Pink Floyd be hiding?” On that whim, I put on Piper at the Gates of Dawn, which equally sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore. I needed to know what the fuck happened to get them from Piper to The Wall.

September-November: In the two months between the onset of this and finally making another sideblog, I dedicate all of my free time to learning as much about Pink Floyd as humanely possible (and writing a 20 page essay for that narrative theory class). As you can imagine, this is a lot to unpack all at once for someone who didn’t even know who Roger or Syd or any of the rest of them were. Luckily, I am over-educated enough to be a very fast learner. Aside from the band lore itself, I of course also fall in love with the rest of Pink Floyd's discography musically-speaking. Having this interest to latch onto genuinely pulls me out of my depression.

Cut to February 2024: I am really enjoying myself, and want to keep this going as long as possible, but I am starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel on Pink Floyd lore. I decide I need to feed the fire by supplementing with lore from another band. The Beatles seem to have a strong fan presence on tumblr, why not revisit a childhood favorite? The universe laughs at my expense.

That about brings us up to date. I have gone through so much character development over the last eight months, it’s crazy. Pink Floyd is definitely one of those things that is less of a “phase” and more of a permanent part of my mindscape. Weirdly enough, since I am studying media psychology, all of this has also been really good for my career? I never took an interest in -real- media figures (as opposed to fictional characters) before, and I feel like I have a much clearer sense of things now. It's definitely influenced my research, so whatever domino effect this has on my future is bound to get even funnier.

Anyway, that’s my backstory!

[fumifooms]

Do you know about the Marchil h-doujin, just called "Marchil Meshi"? (Dunno wether you're comfortable about adult content regarding the ship. If not, sorry and feel free to ignore).

Imagine my surprise… When a few months ago, I was looking up places to buy doujins for dunmeshi online bc of that new-ish laimar (sfw) doujin and I find, many many nsfw ones bUT AMONGST THE HORDE… MARCHIL MESHI. I ate it up. It’s a lil iconic to me ngl, I quote it in my head sometimes. Marcille angrily gesturing always gets me cackling. It honestly has no business being this good, it was made pretty early on in the story so many years ago, and STILL! So in character, and honestly so funny, AND no weird business either. Like listen, I scour the internet, looking for any marchil content, any marchil content at all… And find a dry af desert, no life here, literally jackshit nothing. Only Pixiv has some afaik but the nsfw is def… Hm. 😔 (2 fics tagged chirumaru on there btw!! That aren’t mine lol) Thank you marchil meshi author if I had to pick 1 piece of marchil nsfw to exist I’d choose this one (honestly that’s already so close to reality lol) Thank u Asaki Takayuki I owe u my life. I like zines but I’ve never bought doujins before so it didn’t cross my mind, but dunmeshi is taking a lot of my first times in fandom engagement and I bought said laimar doujin just the other day hehe 

I do want to keep my blog generally sfw but yes I’m 100% cheering on nsfw marchil content from the shadows, glad that ao3’s finally getting some too. I hope that fic writer makes more… Tallman Chil is so so good but I hope they also do some more general premises, which the end notes on that one do make me hopeful 👀 I want more marchil writers in general. More marchil fanartists. Sfw nsfw idk I need to be fed 😭 (<- This post was drafted before that new marchil smut fic WOOHOO. So much new marchil content this week!!)

Oh while I’m here, I find this so funny/odd, but in japanese fandom ship names are simply the beginning of each name smushed together, like marchil or chilmar. The order of the names is that the first one is the "top"… Idk how jp fandoms live without switches but aight, but in m/f ships this means that typically the man is the first half of the ship name right. WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT marchil is so much more used than chilmar lmaoo. Even more stats: On Pixiv, the tag marchil had all the artworks, but the chilmar tag had all the fics. Ain’t that wack to think about. Anyways marchil or chilmar idc you go guys

Sighh thinking about them. They are so "I beg your pardon??!" "Then beg", "Fuck you!" "Fuck me yourself you coward"… Forget stamens and pistils, Chil is the cursed "You see, there are keys and there are locks…"

More under cut since I don’t get to talk about this often, screenshots and hcs for horny time

^ said panel that lives rent free in my head and makes me giggle. I wish I’d just put the whole page here it’s my fave but nahh go find it yourself

Why are they like this. Like what is thatttt

I need to stop collecting these I’m making myself feel insane (thank you fic writer for that last one I’d never noticed but omg)

Alright hc time what was I gonna talk about… Ah yes ah yes. I def think Chil is a pest, he’s horny and he wants sex and is flagrant about it, but also we know that he stayed faithful for 4 years without getting any, I feel like realistically the relationship sex wise would 100% be on Marcille’s pace. And this is the fun part, bc would Marcille be very eager? Would she want to do the romance book correct™️ route and that means no tapping until marriage, or he needs to court her all princely first? I hc that elves have a much lower libido than humans because of the whole long af lifespan thing, it’d be kinda funny if Marcille was like "Let’s take things slow… 🥺" aka first base achieved after two years of being together lol

But seee that’s the thing too bc Marcille is so afraid of loss she might rush through things as well, she very well could like, jump on him right after confessing. Is Chilchuck kind of a shithead or is he very gentlemanly and romantic, wanting to do it right and treat her well? They are such a blank canvas of sexual chemistry listen LISTENNN there are just so so many ways you can go with them they are so special. God the banter… They cannot stop bantering for a second I swear So many kinks they could fit… I like uhh praise kink for him and for her… Idk she just really loves him and the emotional adoration is what’s at the core of her enjoying it all so like, loving Chilchuck kink, which turns out those two really match together 🫶 He makes her sing and ummm um you see where this goes. They are so grossly in love and into each other

They are so domestic. I hate them

[violivs]

NMTDaily: And So It Begins

- Beatrice’s first vlog! What an opening line, I love it lol. I remembered the hand wave on “hello, people of the Internet” having a wider arc across the screen than it actually does, funny enough! Glad I didn’t specify the wide wave when I referenced this line in MARRIED, the fic I posted on the 25th.

- “I’m not too old for Halloween”, girl after my own heart!

- Always thought it was interesting that Bea’s mother is American. I wonder how/why they decided that. It’s the kind of super specific detail that makes Bea feel so real, because who would make that up? It’s also interesting that it means Bea and Ben’s families are both somewhat international. Another parallel for them, another thing they have in common.

- I bet the Aunties’ wedding was the cutest thing ever, imagine Hero and Leo standing up with them! That’s probably the last time all of the Dukes were together before the story starts.

- I’m surprised Bea’s parents moved because her dad got a promotion. I would have assumed her mom did, because we get the impression of her as the high-powered businesswoman. But good for Bea’s dad. Is it canon that he’s a university professor? (Promotion = tenure?) Or did I make that up for fanfic and/or confuse him with Ben’s parents being professors in canon? Listening for that. Maybe Bea’s dad was actually also a business person all along and that’s how her parents met. Who knows.

- Bea says Australia like I say Indiana, lol (no hate to anyone from Indiana though! Just another of those inborn rivalries with the neighbor, like the Oz/NZ one.)

- “A great science program” I forgot Bea was a science person!

- I always loved the set decoration in this room, I remember it’s Hero’s room, and it’s so artsy and cozy and pretty. Love the wall art.

- “Leo and I are in charge of the house for the next six months” Excuse me, does this series really only take place over six months? Well, it ends in the first week of November, so that’s seven full months. I think it felt like it lasted a whole year when it was airing though. Time slowed down during a certain arc for sure.

- “in-joke with myself!” Classic. I kind of love that the text on screen saying “good one Beatrice” is Bea talking to herself again in-world, but out-of-world it’s kind of the Candle Wasters talking, interacting both with their own main character and with the audience. Meta.

- “Sorry my life is so boring” are like, THE famous last words for an LIW protagonist. Honey, you got a big storm coming!

- I was always so incredibly impressed with Beatrice’s independence, her comfort with leaving her parents and essentially being on her own before she even finished high school. I was alone in a college dorm hours away from home when I first watched this, second semester of freshman year if I’m not mistaken, and I could barely believe I’d managed it. I couldn’t imagine doing that any earlier than I had. I thought she was so brave and cool. I think Bea actually shows more hesitation and nervousness than I realized she did in this episode, both because she’s not used to vlogging yet and because being in a new place is nerve-wracking, but I still think she’s so brave.

- It’s so interesting that in a reversal of the play, it’s our Beatrice who comes from away to Messina to start the story, instead of Benedick and the other men returning from war. Of course, we’ll see how the boys’ arrival on the scene is modernized soon enough!

- Harriett does such a great job making you care about Bea and like her right from the start. You just want to keep listening to her talk. I can’t wait to do just that over the next seven months.

- The Benedict Cumberbatch crush is a stroke of genius, but what are the odds that there happens to be a super famous guy named Benedict that you can reference who is at peak relevance in the exact year your MAAN modernization premieres? Truly, this series as it exists could only have happened in 2014. It was the perfect time and the perfect people. What luck.

- Oh, this is the wider arc hand wave I was remembering! It’s just at the end of the video and not the beginning. Funny!

- Covering the camera with her hand and ducking out of frame at the end of her first video is a direct parallel to what Bea and Hero do in their final NMTD video, sliding out of frame and all. Love that.

- I can’t believe how much there is to talk about even with these early episodes. These posts are gonna get so long they’ll have to go under a cut for the later episodes!

💖🦩🥭

[sweetswesf]

Hey, hey fam.

These past few weeks I have been onboarding. I let my insecurities get the best of me and didn’t want to take on an assignment early. I was dealing with some imposter syndrome and feeling the weight of being the new person. I felt like all eyes were on this little Black girl and wondering what she was going to do. I wanted to get better acclimated with my new environment and such, but also I was fearful. I’m glad I did take my time though. I extended my onboarding as much as I could and finally got started on my project last week. At first it all felt impossible, especially since my manager set an extremely aggressive timeline for it all (1-2 weeks). My teammates who I consulted about the project all told me it would take AT LEAST 3 weeks. I chatted with my mentor who I’ve mentioned to y’all who has never left my side about my fear and he suggested I ask exactly what I need to do. That encouraged me. It reminded me that I’m not even EXPECTED to know every step. Although I didn’t reach out to ask this, God heard me and a few people reached out directly with resources and help. They knew I was assigned this project and they reached out to part some wisdom and offer their continued support going forward. There was a moment when I couldn’t procrastinate anymore and I had to dive into things (a new language, a new code base, a weird interface, tangled code). I prayed to God to get me through and I felt him saying: one thing at a time. And I’m glad I did…I took one step at a time and soon things started to make sense. After a lot of time invested, I gained some confidence back and started to understand things. I made some code changes and made more progress than I thought. It’s all because I tried to face fear head on. I reminded myself that if God put me in this role, he wasn’t going to rip it away from me. He is with me at every point. If you aren’t convinced He exists, I hope you consider it, because if not for trusting Him, I wouldn’t have this praise report. I’ve written all my coding steps out in my tech spect. My team loves it! So much so, that my manager called my colleague and I his favorites on a call with the rest of the team! That was not appropriate, and made me feel like a target is now on my back from my team, but I was absolutely flattered. Some even DM’d me sharing their praise.

I felt so good I even took a work break and didn’t work after work for the first time in such a long time. I REALLY want to do well. I prayed to excel on the team quickly and I pray that is in God’s plan. I’m so used to struggling on my team no matter how agonizing it was. What was holding me back, no matter my prayers, was my fear and my inability to try as hard as I could. I want to try really hard, and I believe I can shock even myself, and that things will all turn out to be better than I expect, as long as I believe in God, pray for it, fight fear, imagine the best outcome, stop worrying, and trust HIM.

I thank God that He’s disciplined me. I want to also find balance. I haven’t worked out in a while just putting all my focus into delivering early, but I will pray for God’s help to make it a priority.

I pray yall are encouraged to fight fear and work for your wildest dreams as well.

On TOP of that, I work closely with a guy I think is kinda cute! Funny thing: my HRBP referred me to him, I reached out, he was kind, turns out were from the same city, he shared what he was working on, offered to meet with me 1:1 regularly going forward, we got paired in the same working group on our department’s offsite the next week, and then I ended up getting assigned to the project that works closely with what he is building! He doesn’t work in my office but is visiting soon and asked if I wanted to do lunch and whiteboard. I’m looking forward to it! I forget how to eat like a human when I eat in front of someone I like, so I’m going to try hard not to look like a weirdo! He has a girlfriend AND I am not going to entertain relationships nor romance with a colleague. I’ve learned from my past. I’m not even sure if I really like him or if I’m just THIRSTY. Ya girl has been deprived of male courtship for a while lol.

Anywho, I’m super grateful to God and things are going well. I have to stop bracing for impact and just continue to always expect for things to go well and know that if they don’t, it’s for a reason and God has a master plan. God bless yall.

[unrealisticlea]

I’m OBSESSED with the choices in last episode

- the first thing he remembers is Eddie calling him “cowboy”. The second thing he remembers is the Chris screaming in the tsunami.

- Buck literally thinking “you know who would believe that I’m trapped in an alternate reality? Chimney” and being RIGHT

- Thunder by Imagine Dragons playing when he goes to Chimney’s house

- “I know why your name is Chimney” and CUT. So good. I hope we never find out why his name is Chimney.

- They literally said “Buck is the only reason Bobby is alive. He’s also the only reason Eddie didn’t lose his son after a nasty custody battle btw” and I’m supposed to be normal about this????

- A guy goes into a coma and the entire A-shift doesn’t show up for work for like a week.

- That’s why the firefighter who went to Maddie’s house looked so mad, he was probably thinking “these freaks are gonna be MIA for god-knows-how-long. why are they so weird about each other”.

- Eddie looked sooooooo bad. Props to Ryan Guzman for looking like he hadn’t showered or slept in a week for the entire episode.

- we thought Eddie was gonna bring Chris to say goodbye but somehow it’s even worse???????? Chris getting so mad Carla had no choice but bring him to the hospital and then saying “you HAVE TO come back” because he has no choice, there’s no way he would leave them.

- Stoic-always-keep-his-cool-Eddie-Diaz randomly crying in the background A+++

- Everyone looks like they’re ready to jump off a bridge if things go south and May looks like she just shot a Dyson Airwrap commercial

- BOBBY. Oh my god Bobby.

- “Mom brought two kids into the marriage. You brought one”. Canon “Bobby Nash is Evan “Buck” Buckley parental figure” ao3 tag??? This FUCKING SHOW. I have no words. This is all i’ve ever wanted since Season 1 Episode 1.

- Sorry to insist on this but THAT’S HIS SON

- Buck decides to leave a world where his parents love him because he can’t save Bobby there. THAT’S HIS DAD. Buck Nash 4Ever.

- I already said it. I literally don’t give a shit about the Buckley parents. me @ their redemption arc: argue with the wall. Same goes for Chim’s dad. I have no idea why they decided to go with the “blood is thicker than water” stuff but that’s very conservative of them and I hate it. I’m gonna pretend the last 5-6 minutes don’t exist.

- Who did Buck go home with? I have no idea but probably Bobby or Eddie.

- i‘ m sorry but Buck running with Fix You playing in the background was too funny. And that’s what you missed on Glee.

- His imagination gives him Chris who’s looking for Eddie to convince him to stay in the dream. This means absolutely nothing.

- I was terrified what bullshit lesson he was gonna have to learn to wake up but what he had to learn was: you don’t have to fix everything, you just have to be Buck.

- Once again, Bobby and Buck relationship has my whole heart <333