#this is the season when they particularly piss me off. well. this and voting season | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

coldflasher · 4 years

Photo

Part of Femslash Week, organised by @flarrowverse-shipyard :D Femslash Week Day 4 - Bed Sharing/Snuggling

Pairing: Charlie/Zari Tarazi

Rating: Teen (mentions of sex)

TW: mentions of sex and character death

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23028457

All That Glitters by coldflasher (capriciouslouis on ao3)

“Most of the rooms down this corridor are spoken for," says Sara. "You’re gonna have to bunk up.”

Thanks to a mysterious shortage of rooms on the Waverider, Zari and Charlie have to share a bed. Neither of them are particularly upset about the situation.

“So can you really shapeshift into anything?”

They’re lying in bed together in Charlie’s bedroom, which looks like a teenager’s emo phase met a museum exhibit in the middle of a tornado. Glossy vinyl records spill out of their sleeves all across the floor like the world’s most dangerous stepping stones. There are clothes abandoned everywhere where Charlie’s stepped out of them and left them there, including a pair of lacy black underwear draped over the lampshade, and battered punk posters of howling singers plastered all over the walls. It wouldn’t have been Zari’s first choice of bedroom, but she didn’t exactly get to choose. When she’d announced she was staying, she’d had a look through a bunch of different rooms and thought she’d finally found a nice one - a little vintage, smelling faintly of perfume - when Sara had grabbed her by the arm.

“Nope. This one’s off limits.”

“Why? There’s no one in here.” And there hadn’t been for some time, judging by the layers of dust.

Sara hesitated. “It belonged to a friend.”

“Well your friend isn’t here now, and I am, so…”

“You’re temporary,” Sara snapped. “You don’t get to rearrange everything just to suit you.”

“Who made you the boss?” asked Zari. Certainly no one who believed in the importance of manners.

Sara smiled thinly. “Popular vote.” She released Zari’s wrist. “Most of the rooms down this corridor are spoken for. You’re gonna have to bunk up.”

At the time Zari had been deeply unimpressed by this rudeness - the ship was huge, and there were so many empty rooms, so why shouldn’t she take one that was free? But when she’d tried to let herself into another empty bedroom, this time it was the AI that locked her out.

“What is with you people?” she demanded. “Why do you hate me?”

“This room belonged to Leonard Snart,” Gideon told her. “It has remained almost untouched since his death at the Vanishing Point in 2016.”

Zari had been trying to prise a panel off the wall to see if she could have another flash of inspiration that would let her hack her way in, but at this, she paused.

“Wait,” she said. “This room belonged to a dead guy?”

Gideon explained, and she discovered the sad truth of all those rooms lying empty. Each one was a time capsule for a departed team member. Some had left voluntarily, others had passed away - but regardless of the circumstances, each bedroom still remained as its occupant had left it, like a time capsule. As if the team was waiting for their lost and fallen members to come walking back through the door. They could travel back and forth in time, but the people they loved were still lost… and apparently it was easier to leave everything as it was than to move on.

This deeply traumatising discovery had a horrible effect on Zari, who was an empath and highly sensitive. She’d ended up in the kitchen having a staring competition with a doughnut, afraid that Behrad’s peace offering the other day had started a dessert-related backslide that she’d never be free of - and that was where Charlie found her.

“You all right?” Charlie asked, concerned. “You look a bit bummed out.”

“All the free bedrooms are for dead people,” Zari mumbled.

Charlie had given her a big grin that had a strangely uplifting effect, like she transferred happiness across the room with one glowing smile.

“Well. If you need somewhere to rest that pretty head, you can always come and have a kip with me.”

That was how they ended up in Charlie’s disaster of a bedroom, and if Zari’s being honest with herself, she doesn’t hate it. Thanks to her social media following, she doesn’t really have the opportunity to be messy. She has to be ready to turn on the camera at all times, to look pretty and perfect and put-together. Dirty laundry isn’t conducive with her brand.

“So you can really shapeshift into anything?” she asks.

Charlie turns towards her with a grin. “Ah, there it is. Knew it’d come up eventually. Come on then, spill the beans. Who’s your fantasy shag?”

“Excuse me?” says Zari.

“You know, your fantasy shag! George Clooney, Gillian Anderson… who makes your fanny flutter?”

“George Clooney’s like, super old,” says Zari, wrinkling her nose. “And for the record, your word choice leaves a lot to be desired. I don’t know how you do things in England, but where I’m from ‘fanny’ is not a sexy word.”

“Sorry. Picked up an English accent back in the seventies and for some reason I can’t seem to shake it.” Charlie stretches lazily, pointing her toes, one painted nail poking out through a hole in her fishnet tights. “But you’re changing the subject. Being in bed with me means you can sleep with anyone you like. Who do you want me to be?”

Zari thinks about it for a while. She looks at Charlie sprawled out on the bed with her fuck-me eyes half closed, her wicked grin and the wild cloud of hair wrestled into its braid, tinged purple at the end; her stripey shirt and mesh jacket. Effortlessly sexy and cocky enough to know it.

“I don’t think I want you to be anybody. I like you how you are.”

Charlie looks surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Zari says. “I mean I know this isn’t your original form, but it looks good on you. I’m sure you still look sexy with your tentacles or whatever -”

“My original form would melt your brain,” says Charlie. “But I can probably rustle up a couple of tentacles if you’re into that.”

“Maybe later,” says Zari. “That’s not my point. I feel like if I was going to sleep with someone with shapeshifting powers, I’d want them to look whichever way made them comfortable. A body’s just a body. The sexy part is what you do with it.”

“You really mean that, don’t you?”

“Of course. I’m very sincere. It’s one of my most awesome qualities.”

Charlie grinned a little bit at that. Zari found herself smiling back.

“I don’t think anyone’s said that to me before,” says Charlie. Her expression dims slightly and she starts toying with a loose thread on the pillowcase. “This isn’t my real face, obviously. Belongs to some bird named Amaya who lived here a few years back. When I first met the team, I put her face on just to mess with them. Then I kind of got stuck with it for a bit. Now I can change again, but I’ve had it so long that it feels like my face. But they still don’t see it that way. Sometimes I feel like they still look at me and see…”

“Her,” Zari says softly.

“Yeah.” Charlie rolls onto her back. “It’s partly my fault, I know. That’s the whole reason I looked like this, because I knew it would throw them off. But now I want to just be me, Charlie, without some random woman hanging over me making them do a double-take when I do something that’s super anti-Amaya. You’re the only one on the ship who hasn’t met her, the only person who looks at me and sees… me.”

It’s the first time she’s ever heard Charlie be serious. No flirting or wisecracks. For the first time, staring into her eyes, Zari can believe that Charlie is a fate. That she’s seen civilisations fall and the centuries pass like seasons. No one as young as Charlie looks could have eyes so old.

“I get that,” she says quietly, propping herself up on her elbow. “It’s not the same, but… when you grow up famous, people think they know you. It’s like there’s a part of you that doesn’t belong to you. I can never just be me; I have to be the brand. And I love it, I’m proud of it, I spent years building it - I just wish people could see past it. Even my parents don’t know me.”

“I have a confession,” says Charlie.

“Go on.”

“I don’t have a bloody clue who you are.”

Zari cackles. It’s a horribly unattractive sound she would never have permitted in one of her vlogs, but it feels so good to let it out.

“I’m serious! You could tell me you’re the Queen of Sheba and I’d believe ya.”

“You gotta join the Z-nation,” Zari teases, snapping her fingers in a Z-formation. “I’ll add you to the mailing list.”

“You’d better bloody not.”

It feels good to laugh, and even better to have someone laughing with her. When she first joined the team and realised none of Behrad’s friends recognised her, it had pissed her off. She’s an icon! She has a make-up range and a million followers and even if the perfume launch didn’t go exactly to plan, she’s still in the running for influencer of the year if she can knock Stormi Jenner off the top spot. But although Charlie doesn’t know her, she doesn’t make it sound like a bad thing. It’s not because she thinks Zari is vapid or irrelevant or beneath her notice. She just… doesn’t know. There’s no prior expectations, no way she can disappoint. For the first time in years, she can be judged not on who she has been for a decade, but on who she is today.

“I may not know you,” Charlie says softly. “But I’d like to.”

“Well then,” says Zari, offering her a manicured hand. “I’m Zari. Nice to meet you.”

She’s expecting Charlie to shake her hand, but instead, she lifts it up to her mouth and kisses it. And like a fourteen-year-old with a first crush, Zari blushes.

“Yeah,” Charlie says with a smirk, knowing exactly what kind of effect she’s having. “I think you and I are going to get along just fine.”

#FSFFWeek20 #FSFFWeek20DayFour #zari tarazi #zarlie #day 4 #my fics #this was supposed to be funny and then it got kinda angst #baymax voice: oh no

38 notes · View notes

almostarchaeology · 5 years

Text

The Moggalithic antiquarian: party political broadcasts from stone circles

By Kenny Brophy (the Urban Prehistorian)

If a poll of Conservative members showed a majority of them were druids, Boris would be straight down to Stonehenge to dance naked for the seasons (Mark Steel, Independent, 28 March 2019)

Stanton Drew’s stone circles may not vibrate as wildly in the English consciousness as their easterly cousins at Stonehenge, however, they remain seriously impressive pieces of Neolithic kit. (Weird Walk, The Face 4.001)

Standing

Jacob Rees-Mogg, standing in the General Election, is standing in front of a standing stone. The parliamentary candidate (and current incumbent) for North East Somerset is asking everyone to vote Conservative in the December 2019 General Election in order to deliver Brexit. He is wearing a double-breasted great coat, almost invisible glasses, and a baby blue rosette the same size as the Nebra Sky Disk.

What was this WTF moment all about?

Was it just an innocent bit of eccentric electioneering fun that just happened to take place with a megalithic backdrop?

Or perhaps the film was an appeal to a certain kind of voter who craves the nostalgic fantasies of the English countryside, windswept standing stones, comical ‘scrumpy and western’ bands like The Wurzels, and Brexit?

Or was this short film altogether something more sinister?

I will ponder awhile on these questions during this post, but the reaction to the video was of even more interest to me.

#BrexitPrehistory

This troubling little video has garnered a good deal of attention. It initially dropped on 2nd December 2019 via Rees-Mogg’s own twitter account (with approximately 369,800 followers on the eve of the General Election ten days later). At the time of writing (13th December 2019) it has been viewed almost three quarter of a million times, and this is only on the Twitter platform.

The film is a particularly egregious example of what I have come to call #BrexitPrehistory (for it was not really about the election, it was about ‘getting Brexit done’) and it indicates the increasingly casual ways that prehistory is being used to make arguments for Brexit by leavers. However, the video also became a focal point for a lot of anti-Brexit (‘remainer’) sentiment, something I would also like to unpick here.

My contention is that we should not be using a prehistoric stone circle to make any kind of points about contemporary political and social challenges although it can be tempting to do so.

Stone circles like Stanton Drew, the one chosen by JRM as his backdrop, are neither leave or remain monuments. Yet, problematically, social media reaction to Rees-Mogg’s piece to camera suggests it might be both.

Petrified

First, let’s consider the video itself. It lasts all of 35 seconds, with a further final five seconds taken up with ‘Get Brexit Done’ and ‘Conservative Party’ branding.

JRM stands in front of one of the standing stones of Stanton Drew. The megalith is partially obscured by his torso and head, and he speaks while performing some half-hearted hand and body gestures. His stiff delivery style mimics the standing stones behind him, his petrified voters, a captive audience.

He narrates the following election message in his curious posh robot voice:

Adge Cutler sang the famous song: 'When the Common Market comes to Stanton Drew.'

I'm here by the standing stones in Stanton Drew, thought to be 4,500 years old, some of the most important stones in this country.

And I want to get the Common Market out of Stanton Drew.

We must get Brexit done. Only the Conservatives can do that - a majority Conservative Government can get out of the European Union and make Brexit happen by 31st January.

Please vote Conservative and get the Common Market out of Stanton Drew.

This little vignette was based on the title of an Adge Cutler song, performed by his band The Wurzels, on the theme of joining the Common Market and the impact it might have on Stanton Drew, the village (not the adjacent prehistoric monument of the same name). Both just happen to be in Rees-Mogg’s North East Somerset constituency for which he was, at the time, standing for re-election, and has since been re-elected with a decreased share of the vote.

The song, 'When the Common Market comes to Stanton Drew', is, depending on your perspective full of outdated, sexist, and racist, sentiments about foreigners and their stereotypical traits. Not to say geographically challenged as to the composition of Europe.

In the evenin' times I s'pose, we'll sip of our vin rose, Just like they do in the Argentine And we'll watch they foreign blokes, with their girt big 'ats and cloaks, Flamingo-in down on the village green. We'll 'ave to watch our wenches when they dark-eyed lads gets here, And the local boys'll 'ave to form a queue, They'll say "Ooh la la, oui oui," instead of "How's bist thee?"

Or as I have also seen it expressed, the song is a rather quaint musing on the exotic effects of becoming more closely integrated with Europe, and is in fact pro-European in sentiment, a parody of the prejudices of rural Little Englanders (oh the irony).

And the Druids Arms won't close till ver' nigh two, And we'll all drink caviar from a girt big cider jar, When the Common Market comes to Stanton Drew!

Wikipedia more neutrally notes that in ‘…response to opening up of trade with Europe, Adge suggests what might happen to Somerset culture when Europeans come over’.

This slice of ye olde Englande nostalgia fits well with the JRM brand, apparently au fait with what the working class oiks get up to in their pubs and barns, using deliberately anachronistic terminology, and always wearing at least one item of clothing that belongs to clown.

In reality this is all a bit attention seeking, self-promoting an eccentric film in an election campaign where, by all accounts he had been side-lined by the Conservative Party machine for being too ‘off-message’ even for the Tories. He is, as the Daily Mirror describes him, a ‘disgraced Tory toff’.

Rees-Mogg smacks of a man who likes his stone circles rural, just like WG Hoskins. After all, this was indeed a sylvan spot before all those pesky roads, factories, and voters appeared in the surrounding landscape.

‘Views of Stanton Drew AD 1784’ (source: Dymond 1877)

Note that Rees-Mogg stands in such a position that the camera can only see the rural behind him, and no telegraph polls, roads, or other modern clutter. Another angle would have revealed a different temporal dynamic. He wants you to imagine this photo could have been taken in 1819 or 1919 because his persona is all about a timelessness that stems from a fear of change, of his privilege being undermined by progress.

Memes and mocking

Responses to the film have been largely restricted to social media, with almost no mainstream news commentary. On Twitter there has been a mixed bag of bemused, amused, and angry reactions, as well as some fine memes; a lot of this commentary has come from archaeologists, unsurprisingly.

Recumbent Rees-Mogg (Jonathan Last, @johnnythin)

Voting Conservative gets more Stonehenge (me! @urbanprehisto)

Response by @herbieherbie10 on Twitter

Others had some fun with the fact that the policy and belief system of Rees-Mogg is an anachronism, of the past, although it seems a little unfair to tar the people of the Neolithic with the same brush as this upper class twit.

Response by @snegreid on Twitter

We could be here all day having fun with this video and you can do so by looking at the many, many replies to the original tweet of the video.

‘Built by immigrants’

However, responses did not simply consist of cheap laughs at the expense of a feckless Tory MP. Some suggested that this short film was essentially a dog-whistle nod to the alt-right and far-right viewer of the video. In light of recent media coverage of far-right groups using megaliths in the south of England for rites and ceremonies (covered nicely in this blog post by Howard Williams), the choice of a stone circle could be viewed as at best naïve, or absolutely intentional, depending on your level of cynicism.

Archaeologists such as Cathy Frieman pointed out that it was important we acknowledge the tone of the video, and that it is no laughing matter.

Response by @cjfrieman on Twitter

In this respect should we be more careful about giving such tweets and political propaganda the oxygen of publicity? Certainly, it was interesting to see some responses on Twitter that we should not keep retweeting the original post (either to take the piss or offence) because this helps with the stats for the tweet and increases its visibility. When TV presenter and archaeologist Alice Roberts retweeted this, with a critique (of more below), she fired this little film into the timelines of over 200,000 of her followers. I am in a sense guilty of doing the same thing in this blog post, and it is the case that even mocking memes ensure a person, image, and message spreads across the internet like a virus.

Another theme that emerged in responses to the Rees-Mogg film was the apparent irony of using as a pro-Brexit backdrop a prehistoric monument that was ‘built by immigrants’ and which suggested we had close connections with Europe in prehistory.

Alice Roberts for instance tweeted: ‘How extraordinary that Rees-Mogg chooses to stand in front of a megalithic monument – which speaks so strongly of connections across prehistoric Europe – to make an isolationist statement!’

Charlotte Higgins, chief culture writer of The Guardian (38K followers), tweeted: ‘Get the hell out of my favourite stone circle which, by the way, was built by immigrants’.

Response by @chiggi on Twitter

I don’t want to especially pick on these commentators, as the immigrants trope was suggested by lots of respondents, coming from a place with the best of intentions. And it reminds me of Jeremy Deller’s 2019 street artwork in Glasgow, Built by immigrants, which espouses a similar sentiment.

Jeremy Deller, Stonehenge artwork, Glasgow

Prehistory it seems is a blank canvas upon which we can project whatever we want to, fit into our belief systems, and bounce around within our echo chambers. And while I much prefer a narrative that supports partnership, immigration, and communal labour, over separationist and divisive arguments, I can’t help but feel uneasy about any attempts to use the prehistoric past to support or even justify our own belief systems.

The prehistoric story of stone circles should not be used to score political points.

Arguments that stone circles such as Stonehenge and Stanton Drew were ‘built by immigrants’ and had close connections to Europe and therefore we should retain those relationships today and into the future are, to my mind, as problematic as contrary arguments that, for instance, we have a long tradition of turbulent relationships with Europe, and that Brexit-like schisms are not a new thing.

Reactions to the film suggest leave and remain arguments are both claiming a form of legitimacy deep into prehistory, in the shape of Stanton Drew, which to my mind is both illogical and inappropriate.

Such arguments have become increasingly fuelled by ancient DNA (aDNA) and stable isotope studies that suggest mobility in prehistory was commonplace especially when converted into newspaper headlines and stories. Yet our understanding of prehistory is complex and contested, and contrary views also exist. It is possible for instance to argue that at least some elements of Stanton Drew were constructed in the late Neolithic period (30th to 25th centuries BC), a time of ‘late Neolithic isolation’, even a Neolithic Brexit, according to archaeologists such as Richard Madgwick and Mike Parker Pearson. If we follow this line of argument, Rees-Mogg was correct – Stanton Drew is a leave monument. And, suggestions that stone circles are a common monument type across Europe, thus suggesting cultural connections, smacks of culture-historical thinking. No idea exists in isolation and the Brexitisation of prehistory is becoming tortuous.

The Brexit hypothesis

The use of Stanton Drew as a backdrop and theme for a political announcement about Brexit, and critical reactions to this that I have seen in social media are both symptomatic of what I have previously called the Brexit Hypothesis:

The proposition that any archaeological discovery in Europe can – and probably will – be exploited to argue in support of, or against Brexit (Brophy 2018: 1650).

Our discourse has become so entrenched in Brexit-thinking that we struggle to consider this stone circle without it becoming a synecdoche for our moral, ethical, political, beliefs. In fact, responses should have focused entirely on the wilful and inappropriate appropriation of a prehistoric megalithic enclosure for political ends as some contributors, such as Cathy Frieman, did indeed do.

Are we – the progressives, the liberal left, remainers – in danger of wanting to have our cake and eat it? At this politically dispiriting time, this is understandable.

A polarisation

There is always a depth and complexity to such issues, and this is reflected in the invisible, complex archaeology at the Stanton Drew circle JRM chose as his megalithic pulpit. An amazing geophysical survey in 1997 revealed a collection of concentric timber circles within the stone circle, and an external henge ditch. Hundreds of oak posts stood here in the Neolithic period (Davis et al 2004).

Stanton Drew geophysics results (source: PAST)

The visible megalithic Stanton Drew must be understood in the context of the organic invisible Stanton Drew. The visible political posturing must be read within the context of the invisible underlying currents given off that can perhaps be picked up on should receptive equipment be suitably attuned. As with actual, so with metaphorical geophysics: these undercurrents can be positive and negative. Rees-Mogg is attracting and repelling at the same time. That is what populist politicians – and magnetometers – do.

His deliberately divisive message is having the desired polarising effect.

The choice of site, the words, the message, of this short video are very much in the antiquarian tradition.

He is the Moggalithic antiquarian.

JRM the antiquarian, words from Dymond 1877

This is played out through his superficial understanding of the archaeological site, and an inability and unwillingness to interpret outwith his own value system. JRM uses the stone circle to valorise his world view and force that view upon others.

Yet stone circles can and should be kept out of our Brexit battles. They are no more an indicator of what Jonathan Last, in another great response to far-right use of prehistoric monuments, has called, ‘a conservative, nostalgic narrative of a lost rural England’, than they are surviving traces of an ancient utopia of free movement and European cultural cohesion.

Stone circles should be testament to the sophistication of Neolithic people. Stone circles should continue to be a source of wonder, mystery, the otherness of the past as demonstrated in Weird Walks zine #2. Their weird walk route around Stanton Drew, documented in the pages of this zine and The Face, is a wonderful counterpoint to the weird stiffness of the Rees-Mogg polemic. The stones should be hugged, and the stone circle is to be enjoyed, as is the visit to the Druids Arms pub afterwards.

Weird Walks Stanton Drew (source: Weird Walk #2 (2019), 30-1)

Prehistoric sites cannot, and should not, be viewed through a Brexit lens, whether leave or remain.

We need to get back to seeing such ancient monuments through a camera lens and our own eyeballs.

We must take back our wonderful prehistoric monuments from the grasping hands and propaganda machines of opportunistic politicians, and avoid falling into their sinister traps.

***

Works cited:

Brophy, K. 2018. The Brexit hypothesis and prehistory. Antiquity, 92: 1650-58. DOI: 10.15184/aqy.2018.160

David, A 1998 Stanton Drew, PAST 28. (Newsletter of the Prehistoric Society). Available online https://www.ucl.ac.uk/prehistoric/past/past28.html#Stanton

Davis, A. et al 2004 A rival to Stonehenge? Geophysical survey at Stanton Drew, England. Antiquity 78, 341-58. DOI: 10.1017/S0003598X00113006

Dymond, CW The megalithic antiquities at Stanton Drew, Journal of the British Archaeological Association 33: 297-307.

***

Thanks to guest blogger Kenny Brophy. Follow Kenny on Twitter @urbanprehisto.

Read more by Kenny on his own blog, The Urban Prehistorian, and a previous guest post here.

#archaeonews #urban prehistory #Jacob Rees-Mogg #UK general election #brexit

4 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

Text

Survey #217

“roses are red, and my heart is black. we creep about the floor to indulge like rats.”

Do you know anyone who works in a laboratory? No. What was the very first social media site you signed up for? MySpace. Can you see yourself marrying your current partner? (if you have a partner) Easily. If you were in a coma, who would be making healthcare decisions for you? My mom. Are you the type of person who knows exactly what they want in life? Not entirely, but mostly. Do you have commitment issues? Not at all. What was the last thing you had an allergic reaction to? Silver. Have you gone out to dinner in the past week? No. What’s something you’ve done that sounds too crazy to be true? The only thing I think someone would actually find "crazy" would be I've been in a psychiatric hospital five or six times (I seriously can't remember). Are there any flowers planted outside your house? No. Well, not by us. There's a camellia tree by our back door that we didn't plant. What’s the weirdest decoration you’ve seen in someone else’s home? I'unno. I generally don't find decorations strange. Spice up your house with what you like. Did you have your own bathroom when you were growing up? No. Do you know anyone who never disciplines their children? I know of people. What’s the longest you’ve gone without leaving the house? Weeks. Are you more of a practical thinker, or more of an imaginative thinker? I think I can be on either end depending on the situation. Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad does. How well do you know your neighbors? I've never interacted with the ones to the right of us, but Mom knows the woman to the left, and she's apparently very nice. Mom was talking about her just the other day about how she always brings our trash can back to the fence, actually. How far are you into the book you’re currently reading? N/A Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? I don't believe so, at least not permanently. Do any of your exes know each other? Jason and Juan did. Girt and Jason know each other because of me; we all hung out a few times. It's both funny and sad now to know how friendzoned Girt was... ha ha. Sorry man. What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? "Dinosaurs didn't exist." What the fuck are fossils then, bitch. What was the very first election you voted in? I haven't voted in any yet. Do you know how to make omelettes? No. I could probably figure it out, but I don't know for sure. What is your favorite summer month? Fuck summer. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? One of the witches from Hocus Pocus would be super cool, but yeah, I don't have the money to even try to make a costume. Do you have a desk in your room? If so, do you use it as a desk that you sit and work at? No. Do you wear band tees? if yes, which one is your favorite? Yes. I love my Metallica one. It's got a really cool design. Would you ever want to live in a home with all-white walls and furniture? "Not white furniture, no. That seems like it’d be a pain to keep clean." <<< Definitely. Do you have pajama days often? I'm literally always in pjs unless I have to leave the house and get out of the car. There's no point in changing otherwise; I'd just be creating more laundry. What is one thing you’re behind on? Instead of the usual "life in general" answer, I'll make it more interesting. RP. Jesus fucking holy Christ, I am over a year behind in SO MUCH because I just haven't had motivation, all the while plots have grown like mad. Thank god my partners are really damn patient, lol. And/or have other business, too. Do you ever re-arrange your room? No. I HATE moving/changing shit. Do you share a room with anyone? No. Who was your first roommate? Jason, Jacob, and Amanda. What season do you want to get married in? AUTUMN!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Frosting: chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate. Ice cream: chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla. Milkshake: chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate, more often. Do you drink protein shakes? EW that shit mad gross. What was the last type of candy you ate? Uhhhh what was it. I don't have candy a lot now, so uh... I think Airheads? What was the last craft project you completed? It was VERY weakly a "craft," but Sara's first Valentine's Day present. Which is better: starting things or finishing them? Finishing. I start things all the damn time and never finish them. What is the highest name-brand thing you own? Good question. What color GameBoy did you have as a kid? Red. What was your favorite GameBoy game? Hm. I liked a lot. We had a whole case of different ones. I suppose maybe the Spyro one I could never get far into. But I liked it anyway because yeah. Spyro. What was your favorite Backstreet Boys song? "The Call" probably tops the list, but also you're full of shit if you thought "Larger Than Life" wasn't a fuckin BANGER. Damn, "The Shape of My Heart" was great, too. BSB were/are just great, man. Did you ever wonder what it felt like to get slimed? Ha ha you mean like on Nickelodeon? Yup. Did you ever name a pet after an imaginary friend? I never had one. Do you believe in angels and demons? I don't know. I believe in spirits, but I don't know about actual angels and demons. Do you have a PayPal account? No. What race do you consider yourself? ... You can "consider" yourself a race? You don't get to pick that. Whatever, I'm Caucasian. Should unwanted animals in shelters be killed to make room? Fuck that shit. Should cows be killed for human food? See, this is why I want to return to vegetarianism. TECHNICALLY, no. It's murder upon a conscious, feeling, living being. But at the same time, humans are designed as omnivores, and surviving off of a plant-based diet is, sadly, extremely difficult. It's difficult to obtain the proper nutrients and their advised amounts to be healthy. Therefore, I can't confidently answer this question. I wish they didn't have to be, but human civilization would have an incredibly more difficult time continuing with all meat products removed for consumption. Does the technique used to kill an animal matter to you? I mean if I KNEW, yes, but at least from the research I've done, there's no real "humane" method used to kill livestock. Most live in awful conditions/are already unhealthy, too, and that should matter . Should farmers be allowed to cause suffering in animals to save money? Fuck off. Should production of medicines be justification to cause animals to suffer? No. We neeeeeeed to find other ways. Use pedophiles or some shit. Should violence against animals; such as rodeos/ bullfights be legal? Fuck to the hell no. I get some kind of dark pleasure out of hearing about shitheads being gored and stuff for it, honestly. Should homosexuals be allowed to work with children? This shit pisses me the fuck off. Of course they should be. Like I'm sorry, but your children aren't going to be hidden from them forever. Do you believe homosexuality is caused by genetics? Well yeah. You don't get to choose your sexuality; something has to be responsible. Are Americans are truly free, or suffering from controlled freedom? CONTROLLED FREEDOM JFC TRY TO DENY IT. Are there other countries that offer more personal freedoms? Not that I KNOW of. Like yeah, my above answer clearly states I think America could be better, but I don't know I place where it's actually better. Do you trust your government? Fuck no. They hide a lot of shit. Should religious beliefs outweigh science in the making of laws? Lolololololol no, hunny. Separation of church and state. What is one moment that you missed out on that you wished you didn’t? Hm. OH, that solar eclipse that happened I think last year? We saw nothing here. :< Do you or have you ever had braces? For a long time. Got them on, then didn't have the money to take them off for a while. Can you text? Yeah, but not quickly. I am - usually - very thankful for autocorrect. Have you ever had a nervous breakdown? OH BOY HAVE I!!!!!!!!!!!! What are you scared to death of? My mom dying, for one. I DO NOT know what would happen to me. Are you good at art? I'm told so at least; I'm aware I'm at least decent. It also depends on the art form. Are you afraid of needles? Nah. What TV show is the stupidest to you? I honestly had a really big problem (and have, if it's still even on) with the Teen Mom series. Yes, I do in fact believe it made looking like one cooler and more normal than it is. Do you hate being ignored? Yes; I start to think I'm not cared about, badly. Especially if it's family or "friends." Like no, I don't at all expect attention constantly, or even a lot of it, but I think it's only natural people who claim they love you should not pretend they don't know you, particularly when you actually reach out. THEN it hurts. Where do you currently live? North Carolina, please get me out. Do you like marijuana? I wouldn't know. Do you donate to charity? I can't. I seriously don't have money. Where is your favorite place to go out to eat? Olive Garden. What is your favorite TV station? Discovery. Do you think you’re clever? No. Did you wear socks today? No. I avoid wearing socks as much as I can. Know any magic tricks? I don't remember the ones I learned as a kid. Do you sleep well most nights? No. When’s the last time you baked a cake? Never. What’s your preferred frozen snack? Ice cream, yum. Do you work better in a clean or messy environment? CLEAN. It inspires me to do well and with an organized strategy. Do you know any vegans? I don't believe so. Earphones or headphones? I personally prefer earphones since they go into the ear and are just more comfortable than a weight on your head that can move easier. Do you like bananas? Yeah, but the timespan in which I enjoy them is short. They have to be "perfect." What’s a film you’ve seen that confused you? I know there are some, but none are coming to me curr- WAIT NO okay so I saw Warcraft when it came out into theaters, and I barely understood a single thing because the orcs' voices were way too deep. I need to rewatch it with subtitles. Do you ever wear black lipstick? I pretty much always do if I wear lipstick. What would you change about yourself appearance-wise? HEY can I Please fix my fucking weight??? Because I do like everything I can do already & nothing works??? :') How long do you normally spend in the shower? Just short of ten minutes, I think. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it say or what would the graphic be? *opens novel of ideas* Don't make me pick just one. When trick-or-treating as a kid, was there any kind of candy that you didn’t like to get? Tootsie rolls, ew. What is your favorite memory of Christmases past? The time my mom, sisters, and I went to a Christmas light show one night, and we got back to the car only to realize Mom left the keys in there. Sooo while we waited for my drunk dad and brother to come help us, we all chilled on the car's hood with chocolate covered peanuts and THE best hot chocolate. That place is no longer around, and I'll forever be mad tilted about it. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve done for God? Lmfao remember the days I denied evolution and gay rights? Them were the wild times. When you were in grade school, what did you want to be when you grew up? Why? First, paleontologist because I adored (and still adore) dinosaurs, then a vet as I wanted to help animals. In high school, it changed from movie director to game designer. Name the most famous person you’ve had a face to face encounter with. No one. If you could spend 15 minutes with any living person, who would it be and why? Um like have y'all ever heard of this guy named Mark Edward Fischbach because I have time to enlighten you of all the reasons- What article of clothing most closely describes your personality? Pj pants, lmao. Who was your hero when you were a child, and what did you do to be like them? Steve Irwin. I adore animals in general, push very firmly for conservation, and madly support proper education of wildlife, especially your local kinds. How did you learn to ride a bicycle? I had a bike with training wheels at first, then my dad took them off and would jog alongside me, holding the bars and then releasing them after a few moments for me to go on my own. Repeated 'til I got it! Based on something you’ve already done, how might you make it into the Guinness Book of World Records? This is going to be VERY embarrassing to share, but fuck it. I have so little reason to leave my bed that my legs have actually experienced muscle atrophy. My knees especially are extremely prone to awful pain when standing or walking. I don't really have a way to exercise in this tiny house, my road is too sketchy to walk along, and at least this time of year, I physically can't handle the heat if I was to walk in the back yard. I'm dying to go somewhere where I can swim to fix this shit. I could ramble on forever about how painful it is to be on my feet. I'd be happy enough with even just a treadmill. When was the last time you did something for the first time? What was it? Hm. I guess foreplay with a girl. I don't exactly experience new things much. What is your concept of a fruitful day? Actually doing productive shit. If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? Violence. What is your best personal characteristic? I am like, incredibly passionate. If I believe in something, you'll know. If I love something, it's to an insane degree. If you had to enter a competition for the “Most Uselessly Unique Talent,” what would your talent be? Being able to hide my thumb under my palm to where it looks like it's entirely non-existent lmao. What is your worst personality characteristic? I am VERY sensitive. I also have a hard time taking criticism without beating my ass up because I feel like I did something "bad." I don't get defensive, I just get hurt. Man, I could go on. There's a lot I don't like about myself. If you had to be a teacher of something, what would you teach? I'd be most interested in teaching science. How would you like to be remembered? I loved ferociously and spoke strong of peace. What is one thing that you constantly think about (other than material things)? The future. Does your country have free healthcare? *points at top five list of things America needs to fucking fix* Does your job allow visible tattoos? N/A How is your road rage? I drive so timidly and rarely that I don't think I really even have a clue. Who are your closest friends and how did you meet them? I'll exclude Sara as she's more than "a close friend." I don't have many close friends otherwise tho, so really... I think only Girt applies. We met in high school band. Well, then there's Alex, but considering she now acts like I don't exist as well, I don't know how close we really are. But anyway, we met in WoW because we were both camping the time-lost protodrake and talking w/ others in the general chat... but she and I really clicked. That was an awesome day. Started some damn adventures with her lmao. Are you still cool with any of your exes? The only two who may still have a problem with me are Jason and Tyler, but I have no bad feelings towards them. What Hogwarts House are you in? I took quizzes once for a survey because I was curious, but I couldn't answer most of the ones I found bc they had HP references I didn't get. But anyway, I think Hufflepuff and Gryffindor were pretty much tied. What’s the next special event in your life? Returning to school. :') Whose birthday is coming up soon? My nephew's. :''''') Do you delete people from Facebook if their views are vastly different than yours? It depends on the views and their severity. Usually I can handle averse opinions if you're actually a friendly person and composed and mature about what you believe and how you express that. What’s your favorite thing to put on bagels? Cream cheese. What’s the most important key on your key ring? I only have one, and that's to my house. What was the last argument you got in about and who was it with? AHAHAHAAHAHA okay so. There was a video on FB of a pet meerkat having its belly rubbed, and it was chirping happily. It was very cute, but especially because this video was on a big page, I commented how awful and unhealthy of an idea it is to have a pet meerkat for both it and yourself. It's illegal in a lot of places for good reason. I got a lot of agreement, but of course there was one imbecile who disagreed enough to tell me to shut the fuck up. Now I am normally very, very terrified of confrontation or even the HINT of it, but for once in my life I couldn't have been more unfazed. At what age did you start picking out your own outfits? I don't know. I've come to find via surveys that I can't really remember events by ages. How spicy do you like your food? Pretty spicy. Spicier than most like, but I don't enjoy it when it's just pure pain. What was the last really intense pain you felt? You know that awwwfuuuulll pinch of pain you sometimes get in your ribs when your lungs expand to a certain, small amount? That. I couldn't take deep breaths for anything. What is the best thing that’s ever happened to you? Recovery from the breakup. What are three things you have been a victim of? Uhhhh. Idk, nothing major. What is your passion? Wildlife conservation, probably more than anything. When was the last time you truly felt alive? Ha, good question. How many siblings do you have? Technically six, but I don't know one at all. Are you married? No. Are you dating someone? Yeah. If not, do you wish you were dating someone? N/A Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding? I'm not sure. What states (or countries) have you lived in? Just one. Does your first crush know you liked them? No. Do you wish on stars? Nope. Are you happier now than you were 10 years ago? I don't know. I can't really remember exactly what I was like at 13. I think I'm maybe happier now? Are you happier now than you were 5 years ago? Yes. ^If not, why not? N/A ^If yes, why? My depression is under control. Do you live in your dream house? Definitely not. What was your first job? Sales clerk at GameStop. ^Did you like it? No, thanks to feral social anxiety. Have you been bullied? No, very thankfully. What do you wish people knew about you? I sincerely care about my loved ones, a lot, even though I have trouble being the one to reach out first. What health issues do you have? A lot. Don't even feel like putting them all together. Do you still cross paths with your first crush ever? No. What is your favorite Bible verse, and why? None. Do you have a secret nobody knows? Yes. It's nothing major, just little things I don't want to share. Who are some of the most selfish people you have ever met? I don't know. Is there anyone you want back in your life? Yes. What color was the house you grew up in? True shit, I somehow don't remember for sure. I think it was brick? What was the name of the first pet that you loved? Charcoal, a cat, was the first pet I had a serious, deep bond with. Do you receive more insults or compliments? Compliments, I guess. Do you meditate? No. Do you pray? No. Have you ever seen a spirit/ghost/shadowy figure, etc.? I've sure as hell seen something. What would you ask a genie for, if you had three wishes? World peace, end of disease, and the end of poverty. When someone messages you and you know it’s going to be rude, do you ignore it and not read it, or do you read it and reply? Honestly, most of the time, I ignore it. I am so, SO sensitive, so my feelings are super easily hurt by what others have to say. Do you find online drama stressful? Yes. Even more than irl drama because you have to wait painstakingly for them to reply, and you can't hear their tone of voice. How stressful is your life? I'm pretty damn stressed for someone who's trapped inside their house lmao. Was any of your home decor inspired by Pinterest? No. Do you do yoga? No. What is something you have tried and hated? Oral is NOT my jazz. Do you have regrets? Yeah. Are you mad at someone? No. What is this month’s calendar picture? I don't have a calendar. What is your last ex-boyfriend’s or ex-girlfriend’s name? Technically Donald. Do you have an ex-friend that you miss? Yep. What color do you want your wedding dress to be? Most likely black. Would you rather go out for pancakes or steak? Pancakes. I like them more in general, and I'm also suuuper picky with steak. What’s your favorite Ramen noodle flavor? The only kind I've ever liked is the Yakisoba brand of spicy chicken. How do you feel when you read the Bible, if you read it? Encouraged? Angry? I don’t read it. Have you ever suffered from anxiety? I had some anxieties as a little kid, and I was officially diagnosed with it in the 6th grade. Have you ever suffered from depression? Since the 7th grade. What is something a lot of people like but you don’t? Pie is what came to mind first. What’s an uplifting song you like to listen to? "High Hopes" by P!ATD. Think about the person you fell hardest for. Why do you think your feelings for this person were so strong? How is he/she different compared to everyone else you’ve had feelings for? Well, he was my first real love. They're always special. I was fucking crazy for him, and it grew to an unhealthy degree. Trust me, you can love too much. He made me happy when so few could back then, and we had a connection unprecedented in my whole life. He himself felt like my home. I could write you a goddamn novel on why I felt so strongly. Have you ever caught your friend cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend? If you have, what did you do about it? If you haven’t, what do you think you would do? No. Quite honestly, I'd tell them. I could NOT keep that a secret. Whether they believe me or not, I'm not withholding that from them. When your last relationship ended, how long was it before you felt ready to think about being with someone else? I know this technically sounds bad, but Sara and I started dating the day after I broke up with him. One of the reasons we split is because I realized I liked her. It was so quick because I never had to "move on;" I never came to be truly interested in him romantically. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to sleep last night? Do you remember what you talked about? Sara and I were texting, but I don't remember about what. When are you at your happiest? When I'm with Sara. How many people have you kissed? Three or four. I don't really remember if I ever kissed Girt. How many of those people are you still friends with? Two. Where did you go, the last time you left your house? Mom and I went to multiple places. She had errands to run. Do you like your singing voice? Rarely. I think it fits only a few songs. Are most silences awkward for you? UH-HUH UH-HUH. Name someone you wish you had never met. Why? Jabari. He was scary and almost assaulted someone in my family. Who has the nicest singing voice, that you know personally? Probably Sara. Say something nice about someone you really don’t care for: He loves his kids to death. Ever won school awards? Yes. Do you drink more soda than anything else? Not anymore, thankfully. Do you curse a lot? I curse possibly more than anyone you know. Have you ever been in a courtroom? Yes. Do you eat a lot around Thanksgiving? No. I actually don't like 99% of Thanksgiving food. Were you a chubby child? No. Are you afraid to sing in front of people? Yes. Do you enjoy your family? Yeah. When did you last dance with someone? I forced Sara to last June lmao. Do you feel awkward watching sex scenes? VERY. Did you ever have senior photos done? No. Are your parents protective of you? Mom is for sure. I don't see my father much, and he's changed a LOT since the divorce, so I can't really answer for him. I know he is to some degree, I just don't know how much. Have you ever been bullied? I've had some mean shit said to me, but I don't believe I've ever really been consistently "bullied." Do you ever help decorate during the holidays? No. I just don't have the motivation and don't really care enough to put things up that're only coming down in two months. Do you have carpeted floors? Only my room and my sis's old one. Can you count to ten in another language? German, yeah. Have you ever been arrested? No. Do you always lock your door at night? Yeah. Do you get allowance? No, never did. Do you have a Facebook? Yes. Do you enjoy the presence of children? In most cases, no.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

4 notes · View notes

terriblelifechoices · 6 years

Text

Does anyone else do the thing, where you write something and put it aside because a newer, shinier idea came along and then totally forget that you wrote it? And then you find it and go, oh, hey, this is neat. I wonder where the writer is going with this.

And then: Fuck. I’m the writer. The writer is me.

Please tell me you do this, or I’m going to feel really embarrassed. Because apparently that’s a thing I did.

Cleaning out the gdocs and came across this. My notes say I was writing it for @thesilverqueenlady which is probably why I was going for Graves in the style of Hannibal Lecter. I have no memory of writing it, or any idea where I was going with it.

IDK if anyone else is interested in reading it, but. Here’s an untitled, unfinished and abandoned ficbit. If you want to take this and finish it, please do.

In which Grindelwald demonstrates his wizard nazi tendencies with human experimentation. Graves is not exactly human anymore, but he refuses to let anyone make him Frankenstein’s Creature.

Graves had a list of things he wanted to do once he’d broken out of Grindelwald’s prison. He’d written it down on a scrap of fabric from a shirt that had long since been reduced to rags. He’d used his own blood as ink, for lack of any other available writing instrument.

Kill Grindelwald was the only thing on it, and once Graves realized that the concerned presence of MACUSA’s healers meant that he was free, that was exactly what he tried to do.

He honestly wasn’t sure how long he’d been Grindelwald’s captive – equal parts prisoner and lab rat. He’d tried counting the days at first, but he couldn’t account for how much time he’d spent unconscious in the aftermath of torture or Grindelwald’s experiments. All he knew was that he was different now: stronger, better, faster, and still not good enough to get out of Grindelwald’s prison. He’d taught himself to pick locks, to break curses, to escape – to survive – by whatever means necessary. He fed his rage and frustration into the thing he’d become – a test subject, the first of Grindelwald’s shock troops, useful for experimenting on but useless in every other regard because his rage helped him shake off the mental conditioning Grindelwald kept trying to implement.

Graves was fairly certain that whatever he was now wasn’t human anymore. Not entirely, at any rate.

MACUSA’s wards were nothing compared to Grindelwald’s. Graves ripped through them, dodging counter curses and hexes thrown at him by MACUSA’s best and brightest. He slammed into Grindelwald, too-sharp teeth bared in a triumphant smile.

“Miss me?” he purred, his too-sharp fingernails drawing blood.

It took four Senior Aurors, a house elf and Madam fucking President to pry Graves off of Grindelwald. Graves took some satisfaction in the fact that he managed to half-kill the bastard in the process. If Picquery hadn’t arrived when she did, he probably could have managed to finish the job.

“Director Graves!” she thundered.

Graves gave the silver chains around his wrists a contemptuous look. There was a reason suspects were supposed to be bound with their wrists behind their backs. Was this deference, to the man he’d been, or mere stupidity?

No matter. Graves flexed his wrists, straining against the chains for just a second, and then he broke them.

“Attacking a suspect in MACUSA’s custody is an actionable offense,” Picquery said, keeping her voice level and her wand trained on him. Her eyes were round with – what, surprise? Or was it terror? MACUSA’s cuffs were supposed to be impossible to break. “I should fire you.”

Graves looked at her. He’d been her man, once. He’d voted for her, bled for her, for MACUSA, for his people and not a one of the silly mewling sheep had noticed that he was gone.

Grindelwald’s blood was still on his fingers. Graves wanted to lick them clean.

Whatever he was now, it wasn’t an Auror. Graves wanted blood, not justice, and if he stayed here, he’d try to take it.

“You can’t fire me,” he said, making his voice sharp and cruel. He had to cut ties with MACUSA completely; had to slam that door shut so violently that the impact crumbled the walls around it to dust. “What right have you to my service? You let a genocidal fanatic walk among you, wearing my face, and not one of you noticed.” He dropped the badge he’d lifted from Grindelwald’s pocket during the scuffle on the table between them. “I quit.”

“You what,” Picquery said.

“I said I fucking quit,” said Graves, and Apparated out of the holding cells, straight to the front gate of the manor house.

The Graves family’s ancestral home was located in upstate New York, deep enough into the woods to shelter them from scandal, No-Maj’s and the occasional high society invading army. It was warded against all manner of dark creatures and spells.

Graves watched with irritated resignation as the wards lit up in warning, red sparks against the night sky like fireworks in July.

He licked the last of Grindelwald’s blood from his fingers and considered the wards. They were old, almost as old as MACUSA itself, and old magic couldn’t be bullied or intimidated into doing anything it didn’t want to.

It could be reasoned with, though. If you were powerful enough, or if your need was so desperate that it called and the old magics answered.

He drew one too-sharp fingernail – one claw, he might as well call it what it was – against the underside of his wrist and let his blood drip freely against the stones.

“I am Percival Richard Graves, master of the House and Head of the Graves family,” he said crisply. “I was born within the House’s walls. I am the only son and heir of Edward Gondulphus Graves and Helena Louise McAllister-Graves. I have walked the House and the grounds and the woods and offered blood and power to strengthen House and Home.

“Graves Manor is mine by birthright and blood, and by my blood I demand that you let me in.”

Making demands of magic old enough to have a degree of sentience was dangerous. Graves didn’t care. This was his home goddamnit. He would not cringe and play the supplicant when it was his by right.

The wards and the front gates swung open beneath his touch.

“Thank you,” Graves said, and went in.

The problem with the manor house, Graves discovered, was that it was located in upstate New York, deep enough in the woods to discourage visitors of any kind. He spent a pleasantly isolated week removing the dust covers and walking the halls, returning the house to its former glory before realizing that there was no one to share its glory with.

Graves didn’t particularly want to share its glory with anyone, much less have visitors. He wasn’t entirely certain that he wasn’t going to try and eat them.

He spent the next two weeks testing the limits of his humanity, checking his reflection for signs of change and seeing the same face he’d always seen: heavy brows, dark eyes, aquiline nose, more than a touch of silver at his temples.

He could have settled into a comfortably isolated routine, but on the full moon he felt an old familiar thrum in his blood. It was the one that said run.

Hunt.

Kill.

In Grindelwald’s prison, he hadn’t known that it was the full moon when he felt that thrum in his blood. All he’d known was that the urge to hunt and kill was calling, a siren song of destruction. He’d clawed his way out of his cell but couldn’t escape the prison. He’d scratched scars into the walls, his back, his arms. He’d screamed curses and rage and none of it had been enough. It hadn’t even taken the edge off.

Graves killed a deer in the woods with only the moon to bear witness, the forest lit up like it was daylight to his new and improved vision. He ripped out the entrails and left them in the woods, a bloody offering. The heart he ate raw; fear and adrenaline made the meat taste sweet. He brought the rest of it back to the house and stored it in the cold room under stasis spells. He ate it pan-seared and crusted with pepper, pink and rare and gamey.

“Definitely not human,” he told himself, and went to go fetch his spare potions kit from the lab in the old greenhouse.

Grindelwald had improved his sense of smell along with his hearing and his eyesight. The potions lab reeked to Graves’ nose, medicinal and chemical and wrong in the same way Grindelwald’s own lab had been. At least the lab in the old greenhouse didn’t reek of piss and shit and fear, the way Grindelwald’s did.

Graves gritted his teeth and brewed the potion to test for lycanthropy.

Properly brewed, Graves knew, the potion would turn silver if exposed to the werewolf pathogen. That was how the myth about werewolves and silver had gotten started; for anything else, the potion would stay the same muddy brown color. He pricked his finger and let three drops into the bowl, glowering at it when the potion turned a warm, burnished gold.

“What the fuck,” Graves said, and went off to the woods to sulk.

Boredom and a need for answers drove Graves back to the city less than a week after that. Whatever he was now, he wasn’t going to find any answers living like a hermit in the country. Too much isolationism and self-experimentation seemed like a guaranteed recipe for madness.

Graves still wasn’t sure of his control. He didn’t feel any particular need to hunt down and eat his neighbors, no matter how annoying some of them were, but he had to admit that some days they sounded more appetizing than anything he brought home from a restaurant – or worse, his pitiful bachelor attempts at cooking for himself. Food had simply been fuel, before. He hadn’t cared what it tasted like, so long as it had enough calories and nutrition to keep him going.

Food tasted wrong now: the ingredients slightly off, the meat not fresh enough, the vegetables not seasoned well enough to bring out their full potential. He found that he preferred steak tartare to steak cooked rare, which wouldn’t have been a problem, had he been able to eat anything else he ordered when he went out to eat.

He’d learned to live on half-rations while he was Grindelwald’s prisoner. Graves resigned himself to learning to live off of them again and probably would have, if not for Sarah Rogers.

Sarah Rogers lived in one of the tenement buildings near where Graves’ own lodgings where – he’d decided against anything ostentatious; it hadn’t helped when Grindelwald took him prisoner. Maybe here, where people actually seemed to know their neighbors, someone would notice if he went missing again. Sarah had a small, sickly son, and a husband who hadn’t entirely come home from the war. The whole neighborhood knew better than to try and intervene between Sarah and Joseph Rogers’ temper, but the shouting and the crying grated on Graves’ nerves, until he had no choice but to intervene.

“If you ever touch your wife and son again, I will know,” Graves said pleasantly, dangling Joseph out the window with every intention of dropping him.

“Don’t,” Sarah begged, clutching at his arms, trying to keep him from dropping the man who’d blacked both her eyes and broken at least one rib, if Graves was any judge. “Please, don’t hurt him. He’s all we’ve got.”

Part of Graves approved of the fact that Sarah was so protective of her mate, despite how Joseph treated her. But that was the part of him that Grindelwald had changed, and he knew it was the part he shouldn’t listen to.

“He’s going to kill you,” Graves told Sarah. “He’ll kill your boy, once you’re gone. It’s what men like him do.”

He might not have been human anymore, but he wouldn’t do that. Whatever he was, Graves wouldn’t kill children simply to secure his right to a breeding female. He definitely wouldn’t have harmed his own offspring.

“Please,” Sarah said again.

Graves sighed and hauled Joseph back into the apartment. “Fine,” he said.

If he left Joseph’s memories intact, Sarah would suffer for it. Joseph would assume they were having an affair, because he couldn’t imagine why anyone would intervene on her behalf otherwise. “Obliviate,” he said.

Joseph blinked in stunned incomprehension, the last fifteen or so minutes totally erased.

“Stupefy,” Graves said, and Joseph collapsed onto the floor.

Sarah rushed over to him, pressing shaking fingers against his neck. “I thought you weren’t going to hurt him!”

“I didn’t!” Graves protested, indignant. He was a creature of his word. “I just knocked him out. He’ll have a bit of a hangover in the morning, but he won’t remember any of this.”

“Oh,” said Sarah. “Thank you. Can you help me put him in bed?”

Graves made a face. This was what came of getting to know your neighbors. They expected you to be neighborly.

Still. He’d started this; it was only right that he play it all the way through.

He hauled Joseph into bed, catching sight of bright blue eyes peeking at him from the smaller bedroom. He winked. There was a squeaking noise, and then the eyes vanished and the door shut itself firmly behind them.

“Thank you,” Sarah said again. “I wish there was some way I could repay you.”

“Please,” Graves said. “Don’t trouble yourself. I’ll just be heading home, then.”

The part of him that had been an Auror wanted to do more. Graves told himself it didn’t matter. No good could come of interfering with the No-Maj’s. If the fool woman wanted to stay with the man who would eventually kill her, that was her business.

He’d dropped his groceries in the entryway when he’d burst into the Rogers’ apartment. Graves thought about picking them up, but he suspected Sarah and her son would make better use of them than he could. The boy was sickly, everyone knew that. Fresh vegetables would do him some good. And Sarah could use some feeding up, too. How often did she go without, so her boy could eat?

“Your groceries,” Sarah began.

“Keep them,” he told her. “You and your boy need them more than I do.” They could probably make better use of them, too. He was a terrible cook.

He felt her eyes on him as he walked out of her building and next door into the one where his lodgings were. Pressed together close as they were, he could have heard Joseph’s voice and Sarah’s half-aborted screams even without the improvements Grindelwald had made to his hearing. He and Sarah knew one another in passing, and that was how Graves expected it to stay.

Sarah felt otherwise. She brought him dinner the next night – steak, a little too well done for his liking, but seasoned with a deft hand. Carrots and potatoes seasoned with fresh rosemary and cooked in the same pan as the steak, made savory with its leftover juices. Apples drizzled with honey, which he gleefully shared with her small son Steven, delighted by food that tasted good for the first time since he’d been changed.

“Steve,” Sarah protested weakly.

“He’s a growing boy, Mrs. Rogers,” Graves said, handing Steve another apple slice. “Apples are good for him.” He’d wolfed down the steak and the vegetables. Only good manners kept him from devouring the apple slices as well. “You didn’t need to do this,” he added.

Sarah set her jaw stubbornly. “I don’t take charity, Mr…?”

“Graves.”

“Mr. Graves,” she finished.

Graves considered the meal he’d just eaten. Sarah had kept just enough of his groceries for one portion of a meal. Joseph’s, or Steven’s, maybe. Not enough for herself, surely. Not unless the Rogers’ were used to surviving on considerably less than what Graves considered a half ration.

“Can I make a bargain with you, Mrs. Rogers?” he asked.

Sarah gave him a wary look. “What sort of bargain?” she asked.

Graves gestured to his bachelor lodgings. “I’m a bachelor, as I’m sure you can tell. I find my own cooking skills somewhat lacking, of late. I’d appreciate it if you could teach me how to cook properly. I can’t pay you, but anything you make you’re more than welcome to take home.” That was a lie, but he suspected it was the only way he could convince Sarah Rogers to take any food home with her.

Sarah hesitated.

“Please,” said Graves, giving her his best boyish grin. He nudged Steven, who echoed him with cherubic innocence: “Please?”

“Very well,” Sarah sighed. “How much do you know about cooking?”

“Assume the bare minimum to keep myself alive,” Graves told her, with perfect honesty.

“Right,” said Sarah. She considered his offer for long enough that Graves thought she would say no. “I can teach you how to cook, if you like. But I don’t take charity, Mr. Graves. Not from anyone.”

She should have been born a witch, Graves thought. She’d have been magnificent.

“Yes, Mrs. Rogers,” Graves said.

Sarah was a nurse, Graves learned, which explained her no nonsense demeanor and the faint smell of hospital-grade antiseptic that clung to her skin like perfume. She taught him how to select good meat - the way it was supposed to look, how fresh meat smelled versus meat that had been spoiled - and how to pick the best fruits and vegetables. She gave him cuttings from her own herb garden, maintained carefully in pots on the windowsill. She showed him the best way to season his meals to their full potential, and sighed, wistfully, when he produced ingredients she mentioned would be nice to cook with, if the cost of them weren’t so dear. (Graves tried to get her to take them home, once, and Sarah gave him a flat look. “How would I explain them?” she asked, pressing them back into his hands. Which, fine. Graves didn’t want to cause trouble between Sarah and her ass of a husband. Thank god Joseph’s sense of smell was nowhere near as good as his own, and Joseph couldn’t smell another man’s presence on her the way Graves could. Graves didn’t try to get Sarah to take anything home after that.)

“I think I’ve taught you everything I can,” Sarah said. She grimaced. “It’s not right, me spending so much time with an unmarried man.”

Someone had noticed, Graves translated. He sighed. “I wish you’d let me kill him,” he said.

Sarah swatted him. “You shouldn’t say things like that!” she scolded. “That’s not right, either.”

Graves shrugged, not especially bothered by her censure. “If you change your mind…”

“I won’t.”

“Fine.” Graves ruffled young Steven’s hair. He put a protection charm on the boy as an afterthought. A strong one; the one Aurors used to avoid near misses. He liked Steven’s tenacity. For a kid as puny and weak as he was, Steven got into enough fights for a boy twice his size. The charm for near misses seemed appropriate.

He let Sarah and Steven go back to their own lives, and went back to rebuilding his own.

Graves discovered that he liked cooking. He liked finding fresh ingredients, and working with them to bring out their full potential. He took to buying things at random, just to see what he could make with them. Then he bought a No-Maj cookbook, because the No-Maj’s had some pretty good ideas about food.

He experimented with cooking with magic and cooking the No-Maj way, which was slower and a lot more work. Graves drew the line at cleaning the No-Maj way, though. He wasn’t entirely human anymore, but he wasn’t crazy.

#my fic #unfinished ficbit #abandoned wip free to good home #percival graves #fbawtft

16 notes · View notes

shirtlesssammy · 6 years

Text

14x07: Unhuman Business

Then:

LaLaLa, this is not happening, LaLaLa

Now:

Uh, something seems to be wrong with my TV. Just Lucifer Nick blabbering on about his family and his regret for killing people that won’t help him find who killed his family.

At the bunker, Jack is not doing great, guys. Cas is attempting to heal him, but whatever is wrong with Jack is beyond his angel powers.

As the boys discuss their impossible situation, Jack falls to the floor, coughing blood and foaming at the mouth. They rush him to the hospital ASAP.

Worried Dad Dean is HIGH MAINTENANCE, but I’ll forgive his overbearing ways. Jack is in deep trouble. First, the hospital just needs some basic data, like name and date of birth, both of which the Winchesters fumble on. Jack’s a Winchester you doofs! And I guess Jack is 18. And his dad exploded. Jack then collapses and the medical staff rush him to a room, Sam, Dean, and Cas by his side.

(That framing tho)

God, my TV buzzed out again. Please stand by while I figure out WHY WE SHOULD CARE ABOUT NICK. He talks to a reporter and learns there was a cop, Frank Kellogg, who was patrolling Nick’s neighborhood the night his family died.

At the hospital, Jack’s tests results all came back negative. They’re going to have to run more tests. (Lol, I love how all of this is put in the vaguest way possible. Like not all tests are positive or negative, and what are they testing for?) The one thing they do know: His body is in complete systemic shutdown. (I read on Twitter the friendly reminder that you’re not a real hunter until you’ve died and come back again. Coolcoolcoolcoolcool.)

The brothers decide it’s time to explore other options: Rowena. Dean suggests calling her. Sam already did. (Samwitch! --my Saileen heart hates me every time I goof about this) (Natasha: SAME) The doctor walks in on the boys dressing Jack to leave. AND LET ME JUST FALL INTO A PIT OF EMOTION watching Cas put his coat on Jack.

ROWENA arrives as fast as she can (like, oof, there isn’t anything in this for her. She just showed up to help the Winchesters? Guh.) She thinks Dean is in trouble, but Sam reveals it’s really Jack, Lucifer’s son. Rowena’s out. Before she bolts though, Jack works his magic nougat ways.

Rowena breaks the bad news that without Jack’s grace, his nephilim body can’t sustain itself. Cas offers up his own grace to save him. I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING! As Ro is nixing that idea, Dean’s vision starts to blur and his hearing warbles in and out.

Not sure what was happening in this next Nick scene. He’s weird around a woman in an alley. She invites him back into the bar (WHY?) (Natasha: WHYYYYYYYY?) and then he secretly pulls a knife. In a brief moment of clarity, he yells at her to get away and she runs. And for the record: the giant neon S stands for Satan.

At the bunker, Overprotective Dean brings Jack a sandwich and milk. PURE. Jack is packing up and ready to hit the road, live a little before he dies. I’M NOT DYING, YOU’RE DYING.

Dean gets some serious dimples of discontent after listening to Jack but he’s not disagreeing with the boy.

Sam and Cas AND Rowena are on the research train. Cas presides over a mountain of books while Rowena and Sam call everyone they think might be able to help the poor young wee nephilim.

Dean gets the updates. The books are a bust, but Sam talked to Ketch, who has tipped them off about a shaman who might help. Dean takes all this in...maybe? In actuality, Dean wavers in and out of focus again. Oh, Dean Bean. Cas offers to tackle the shaman lead and the Winchesters can stay behind to look out for Jack. Enter Jack, with backpack, ready for adventure! Dean and Jack are heading out, to Castiel’s disapproval.

A little while later, Dean and Jack pick up some burgers and Dean tosses Baby’s keys to wee Jack. It’s driving lesson time! There’s so much wrapped up in this scene: Dean’s stunted childhood, his incredible capacity to nurture, Jack’s hero worship. MY HEART is wrapped up in this scene. They ease out on the road and Jack gains confidence quickly.

Dean turns on some tunes and BTO’s “Let it ride” sets the mood. Classic rock is such an important aspect of this show, and we didn’t realize how much we missed it as a set piece until this scene of open road driving.

(I’ll confess that I spent the first viewing of this scene ready for Jack to pass out and the car to careen dramatically off the road. I’m glad it didn’t.)

Cas heads out to find Sergei the shaman but before he goes, he talks with Sam about Dean’s reaction to Jack’s illness. “He seems to be taking this particularly hard,” Castiel observes. Sam tells him that Dean feels bad for the time he spent wishing Jack a swift and painful death at the beginning of last season.

Heartbreaking dialogue alert:

Sam: He’s lost people. We’ve all lost people but…

Cas: This feels different. Losing a son feels different.

But stow away those emotions, friends, because it’s time to go back to fun!Dad Dean. They’re eating more fast food, pulled over on the side of the road. “I’m a driver!” Jack announces gleefully. Yes, bby. Dean suggests a bar with promising hook-up potential. (Me: flashes back to Dean’s “Last night on Earth” speech with Cas back in season 4...and like, all of season 3.) Jack’s got other plans.

Nick finds Frank Kellogg, brings up the bare facts of his case, and then pushes Frank inside and holds him by the throat. Time to chat.

By a tumbling, small river, Jack gets into Dean’s deepest emotions like he’s ordering an ice cream shake at a diner. While they fish, Jack casually brings up that Dean and his father went fishing and that it was one of Dean’s happiest memories of him. Dean tries to dissemble, but Jack’s sure as a rock. (Now, there’s been some discussion about whether this was meant to refer to John or Bobby. My vote’s heavily on John. Dean loved his father, was disappointed by him, and longed for many things he could never have at the same time. Fishing with John Winchester was probably a shocking circle of calm - a pool of stillness and peace.)

Jack tells Dean that he wouldn’t miss the big, showy things in the world. Instead, he’d miss more time with Dean and the other people in his life.

Dean BARELY holds it together, a quaver in his voice as he returns, “Who’d’ve thought time with me would make you sentimental?” Dean. Bean.

Meanwhile, Cas drives his adorable blue car to meet Sergei the shaman. He’s immediately enveloped in a circle of holy fire. Thanks, buddy.

Sergei lives in a pimped out trailer, with flowers painted on the exterior and lushly colored and patterned textiles draped all over the interior. He proposes a “recharging agent” for Jack - something to shock his system and derail the degeneration. He offers Cas archangel grace (purportedly from Gabriel) and a spell to activate it. And the cost is simply that the Winchesters will owe him a favor. Sounds like a hell of a price to me.

Meanwhile Nick beats the shit out of Frank Kellogg. We learn that Nick’s neighbor saw Frank leave his house the night of the murders and the cops made him cover it up. Frank confesses that he met a man named Abraxis outside of Nick’s house and the next thing he knew, he was covered in blood. Frank was possessed by a demon which is some crazy ass shit, right? Sigh. Nick kills Frank horribly anyway, in a scene that goes on for WAY too long.

WAY the fuck too long.

In a giant breath of fresh air, we get back to the bunker, once again full of TFW 2.0 and Rowena Our Queen. They hand Jack the grace and it enters his body as Rowena chants the spell. Lights flicker. Jack’s eyes glow golden again. It’s worked!

Jack stumbles and falls again, worse than before.

Cas chews out Sergei via phone call and Sergei defends himself by saying that “science is sometimes trial and error.” It’s...awfully reminiscent of Michael’s experimentation, yes? It also reminds me of real world experimental parallels - now and throughout history. In a word: yikes.

Side note: Having once had a loved one’s body try to shut down in the ICU with no discernible cause...this episode really did hit home for me. It’s so easy in fiction to have a magical healing ability, and so much harder when there’s no explanation, no quick cure, and treatments that have your doctors crossing their fingers. I feel for all these dudes, and the doctors as well, is what I’m saying.

Anyway, Cas is pissed, and vows to smite Sergei’s ass if Jack dies.

For Vengeful Science

At Frank’s house, Nick prays to Lucifer and begs him to come back. In the blackness of the Empty, what looks like the Empty entity morphs into being and its eyes glow Lucifer-red. Well, fuck. (I’m actually excited to see the Empty again, but I am quite displeased about Lucifer.)

In the bunker, TFW mourns Jack’s rapidly failing condition. Rowena counsels them to stay by his side, for death approaches on swift wings.

Root Beer Quotes:

He’s sick, his name is Jack Kline, his father exploded.

Samuel, I thought we were beyond this.

Well, if it’s grace he needs, he can have mine.

Eyes on the road.

This is the best day ever!!!

Born with a wheel in your hand, huh?

Life isn’t all these big, amazing moments. It’s time together that matters.

Life - all of it - is a risk.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn spoilers #spn recap #spn 14x07 #unhuman nature #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #jack kline #rowena #nick #supernatural season 14

18 notes · View notes

jbuffyangel · 6 years

Text

Lost Season 1 Reaction

Reactions are one of my new ideas for the blog expansion. I receive lots of requests to watch other shows and unfortunately I can’t write full length reviews on all of them. But that doesn’t mean I can’t watch and post some thoughts!!! Consider reactions an abbreviated review. I’m sure I’ll be playing around with format a little, so bear with me, but hopefully this another way to watch more shows and give you more great content!

First up is Lost Season 1! Let’s kind of dig in...

My History with Lost

I did not watch Lost when it aired ten years ago. Okay, that’s a lie. I watched the pilot, but it was not my first JJ Abrams show. I watched both Felicity and Alias. My primary beef with JJ Abrams is he creates great shows, but he doesn’t stick around. Invariably the show is handed off to another executive producer who doesn’t have the same vision as JJ and they run it into the ground. At the time, my husband and I were feeling particularly burned by Alias, but we still decided to watch the Lost pilot. We thought it was interesting, but we were not emotionally prepared to begin another JJ Abrams show.

That didn’t mean I wasn’t curious though! I heard all the water cooler talk over the years, but I held firm to my decision not to watch... until the finale. Yes, that’s right. I CHEATED.

I watched the finale when it aired because I wanted to know what the island was. I had absolutely no context for 99.99% of the things happening,

but I understood the general ideas and managed to shed a few tears in the process. Yes, I cried over characters I did not know. Lost music is very emotional and they all seemed like very nice people.

I bumbled along in this thing we call life completely okay with my decision to read the first and last chapter of Lost until I met @callistawolf.

She asked me to watch because it’s her favorite show, but I adamantly refused. However, during one of my many Vampire Diaries bitch-a-thons, I said I would watch Lost if she watched The Vampire Diaries (I really want her opinion on Stelena and Delena). SHE SAID YES. HAHAHAHA. I think we can all agree I made out better in terms of quality, but a deal is a deal!

And thus, my Lost journey begins. You can also follow my reactions on Twitter in my #JenWatchesLost tag.

Who Do I Love?

Hurley is everything and must be protected.

Jack is my boy. I love me some wound-tighter-than-a-Timex-doctor-with-a-hero-complex. The whole physician thing really comes in handy. Maybe I should go to med school as like survivalist training. Nah. Too much work. Jack always knows what to do even though he has no idea what he’s doing. It’s impressive and stressful. There’s significant daddy issues too which reminds me of Oliver Queen. Also, he’s very pretty. I like the stubble. This shocks no one. Everyone knows I have a type.

I am siding with Locke in terms of philosophical debates. Faith and belief are a huge part of my life, so it doesn’t surprise me I’m agreeing with Locke whenever faith versus science is debated. There’s a lot of religious symbolism and just plain old straight-from-the-bible parallels, which is amazing to find in a prime time broadcast television show.

The dog.

Who Am I Shipping?

Jack and Kate. I typically get on board with the Plan A couple as long as the show gives me a strong storyline and evidence for why this couple should be together. I like that Jack and Kate are the flip on the bad boy/good girl trope. Kate is the “bad girl” who doesn’t believe she deserves the good guy. Jack is protective with a a deep desire to save people. And of course, opposites attract!! She is impulsive and Jack is pragmatic. Kate runs and he digs in. They both have significant issues, but thus far they seem to bring out the best in one another. They are each broken in their own way, but my hope is their broken pieces fit together.

Jin and Sun are perfection. I thought we were going the whole abusive husband route, but they swerved right into a rainbow! Did not expect that. It’s nice to see a married couple fighting to stay together. Jin feels like he ruined Sun’s life so he has to leave the island to find help. Sun just wants Jin to stay because he is her life. Jin is learning English and Sun is wearing a bikini. These are the building blocks of an EPIC romance.

Charlie and Claire. They are already raising a baby so just get married. Locke can officiate.

Sawyer and his sass.

Hard Pass

Boone is in love with his sister? There’s a love triangle with Boone, Shannon and Sayid? Super gross y’all.

I don’t know why, but I don’t like Michael. He bugs me.

Jack and his “I know everything about the world because science” attitude. Dude, you are on an island with a freaking polar bear. It’s possible there’s a few things you don’t know.

I was really angry at Sawyer when he didn’t tell Jack about the conversation he had with his dad. Do we get to vote people off the island? Because Sawyer would be the first to go. He’s back in my good graces now because he fessed up, but it was touch and go for awhile.

The way Kate’s childhood love died was really hokey.

Kate and Sawyer. Sorry guys, I have yet to see Sawyer as anything other than the third point in the triangle. A triangle I don’t even think the show needs. It has plenty going on. There’s great chemistry, but she also has that with Jack. Kate and Sawyer are just too similar. Their snark is fun, but I’m not getting a “Theirs is a forever love” vibe.

I Feel All The Feels

The scene where Sawyer tells Jack about the conversation he had with his dad before he died slayed me. When Matthew Fox cries, I cry.

Just when I started to like Boone, they killed him. And Shannon wasn’t there? Come on writers that’s just mean. It’s okay though. Smolderholder had to get a job on The Vampire Diaries and make all the money.

Shockers

LOCKE WAS PARALYZED? UMMM WHAT?

I remember people talking about the number thing and wondering what it is. Now I know what the number thing is. Except I don’t really know what the number thing is.

Locke’s dad used him for a kidney. WTF? That’s so messed up. I’d be driving past the house screaming, “Why?” too.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THEY BLEW UP THE RAFT AND TOOK WALT! WHERE IS WALT? ALKJSDLFJOIALJSDLFJSDF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fave Quote

“That thing in the woods, maybe it’s a monster, maybe it’s a pissed off giraffe, I don’t know. The fact no one is looking for us, yeah that’s weird. But I just go along with it. Good old fun time Hurley. Well guess what? Now I want some freaking answers!” (Hurley, “Numbers”)

Random Thoughts

It’s Matthew Fox from Party of Five people!!! I miss Party of Five.

The clothes from the dead people just magically fit everyone. Oh what a wonderful yet completely unrealistic plot contrivance.

Ian Somerhalder is in Lost? Did I know that? I think I did, but may have forgotten. He looks like a baby. Baby Damon is on Lost. That's some interesting cross fandoming given the Lost/TVD show switch with @callistawolf

Lost has done a pretty damn good job answering all the food, clothing and shelter questions. There’s been a lot cool and inventive ideas for tools, supplies, medicine, etc. I’m sure 95% of what Sayid does is impossible, but I believe it because he’s Sayid.

One cannot watch Lost while multitasking because all the things happen every five minutes in this show.

Questions

This is me shouting into the void. Don’t spoil me with answers.

When do we get to make Hurley in charge of everything?

Who won the golf game? No really. Who won?

Jack has a wife? What’s the deal with the wife?

Okay but for real what is going on with these numbers?

We don’t get to find out what’s in the hatch? What madness is that??? How the hell did you guys watched this show live & wait weeks & weeks over hiatus and not lose your mind????

#lost #lost season 1 #lost spoilers #reactions #lost reactions #lost review #lost reviews

24 notes · View notes

aion-rsa · 3 years

Text

The Best TV Comedies of 2020

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Have we ever been in more need of a laugh than in 2020? Amidst a historic global pandemic, a tumultuous American political election, civil unrest, wildfires, MURDER HORNE… alright, you get the picture. 2020 has been the pits, man. Thankfully, this year from hell featured some bright spots on television, even if rays of sunshine were sorely lacking in reality.

If the shows on our list weren’t making us laugh, we would have been ugly-crying since March. While we were all locked in our homes, we got reacclimated with the Warner Brothers (and sister), said goodbye to BoJack Horseman, and met regular human bartender Jackie Daytona, making quarantine a bit more bearable, if only in 30 minute increments. From brand new series like How To with John Wilson, to swan songs for Den of Geek favorites like Schitt’s Creek, TV comedies in 2020 kept us cackling through the chaos.

To determine the best TV comedy of 2020 in a particularly stacked, diverse year, we polled 12 Den of Geek staffers and contributors. Below, you’ll find our honorable mentions and our list of the series most likely to raise your mood in the darkest year of our adventures.

Honorable Mentions

The following shows received votes but just missed out on the top 20:

Ramy, Never Have I Ever, Feel Good, The Great, Avenue 5, The Duchess, Staged, Famalam, Inside No. 9, Ghosts, The Shivering Truth, Bob’s Burgers, Katy Keene

DEN OF GEEK TOP 20 COMEDIES OF 2020

20 – Big Mouth (Netflix)

How long can a show about puberty, a very specific time in the life cycle, remain viable? Well based on the fourth season of Netflix’s animated comedy Big Mouth, just about as long as it wants to. Big Mouth season 4 succeeds by finding new avenues to delve into the psyches of its young characters going through chaaaaanges. In the process it also finds ways to expand its storytelling capabilities, delving into issues of trans youth, code switching, and anxiety. Through it all it remains as hilarious, and disturbingly vivid, as ever. – Alec Bojalad

19 – The Eric Andre Show (Adult Swim)

It’s not like Eric Andre reinvented the wheel or anything with the fifth season of his anarchic, absurdist talk show. If you were never a fan of anti-comedy that centers heavily around duping random people on the street, gross-out gags, and the torture of unsuspecting guests, then you’re not going to start liking it now.

However, for those of us already onboard The Eric Andre Show train, it’s no small feat that, five seasons in, this is still one of the funniest shows on TV. You’d think by now Eric would’ve run out of guests who have no idea what they’re in for, but, no, there’s an all-new batch of naive celebrities whose lives are effortlessly worsened by Eric, his crew, and his new house band. You’d assume he couldn’t prank people on the streets of New York City and Newark, New Jersey anymore because he’d be recognized by now, but, no, he pisses off a lot of people and breaks a lot of other people’s brains with ever-inventive, bizarre, obnoxious pranks.

Finally, you might think the series would suffer irrevocably from the departure of co-host Hannibal Buress only two episodes into the season, but Eric demonstrates he’s more than capable of spreading chaos all on his own (though he’s sometimes assisted, alternatingly, by a Hannibal clone named Blannibal, comedian Felipe Esparza, and Screen Actors Guild Awards nominee Lakeith Stanfield). Season five is the same The Eric Andre Show as it ever was, but that still makes me laugh harder than anything else on television right now. I’d be happy for Eric to keep making this show forever. – Joe Matar

18 – Saved by the Bell (Peacock)

A Saved by the Bell reboot shouldn’t have worked. But as Peacock’s recent series showcased, with the right creative team and angle, you really can successfully reimagine an outdated but beloved ’90s teen comedy for 2020. Working as both a soft reboot and sequel, this is meta-comedy at its best. Saved by the Bell is fully aware of what made the original special and why they don’t still make shows like it now. Juxtaposing those two competing views through the lens of the privileged and perfect Bayside kids and the new normal students makes this an accessible and seriously funny series with a biting humor rarely seen in teen comedy. – Rosie Knight

17 – Everything’s Gonna Be Okay (Freeform)

Australian comedian Josh Thomas brings his off-kilter sensibility to a loving and sharply funny portrait of a modern family in Everything’s Gonna Be Okay. In the pilot, Thomas’s character Nicholas, a gay twentysomething from Australia, visits his father in the US and learns that his physically and emotionally distant dad is dying. Things really pick up as Nicholas steps up to care for his two teenage half-sisters, Matilda (Kayla Cromer) and Genevieve (Maeva Press), while also trying to date, and manage his melodramatic mother from the other side of the planet.

Matilda especially comes into her own as she hopes to go to college away from home next year— something others doubt since she’s autistic. Her autism is a reality that becomes part of the fabric of the show, a setup rather than a punchline. Few shows would include a teenage threesome that manages to be funny, heartfelt, and matter-of-fact, but in Matilda’s world, sex (and exploring her sexuality) are often all three. Everything’s Gonna Be Okay is a family show that acknowledges the realities of family: death, disabilities, teenage girls with sex drives, and laughter at funerals. – Delia Harrington

16 – Star Trek: Lower Decks (CBS All Access)

Created by one of the writer/producers of Rick and Morty, it’s no surprise that the first episode of Lower Decks involved some pretty broad humor and wildly out of control situations. The producers of the 1970s Star Trek: The Animated Series understood the creative potential of animation when they replaced Ensign Chekov with a giant cat, and Lower Decks follows suit, the pilot giving us blood, guts, gore, zombies and a giant spider, all in Rick and Morty’s madcap tone.

As the show has developed over its first ten episodes, though, it’s become something more than that. The knowing humor is a delight—the focus on things like “second contact” (the less glamorous setting up of diplomatic relations after first contact), ascensions to a higher plane of existence gone wrong, and re-visiting half-forgotten alien races like the Pakleds shows the same sort of gently teasing love of the franchise that Galaxy Quest did. But the characters have also developed into real, complex people to the point that a character death is genuinely moving, and the audience are really able to care about what happens to these essential cogs in Starfleet’s machine next. – Juliette Harrison

15 – Solar Opposites (Hulu)

A big part of what makes Rick and Morty so great is that, in addition to all the sci-fi hijinks, there’s meaningful development of the show’s characters and world. Unfortunately, as the series has progressed, this is also what’s dragged it down. As Rick’s nihilism has increasingly alienated the people around him, a lot of the fun has been lost. The show still puts out the occasional brilliant episode (for example, the season four finale), but it almost feels like all the characters on Rick and Morty straight-up hate each other and watching it can be kind of a drag sometimes.

It’s such a treat then, to see all that fun sci-fi silliness rebirthed in the form of Solar Opposites, co-created by Justin Roiland and Mike McMahan (Rick and Morty co-creator and writer/producer, respectively). Making good use of all the storytelling lessons they learned from their other sci-fi cartoon show, the two have released a confident and consistently funny debut season. Though it feels awfully similar to Rick and Morty at first blush, it has more in common with classic sitcoms, with its focus on goofy, self-contained plots about the alien family at the show’s center. However, the series shakes the sitcom formula up a lot with a surprising dedication to callbacks and continuity, most notably exemplified by the continuing, dramatic tribulations of a community of people who have been shrunken down and forced to live in the aliens’ multilevel terrarium. The combination of madcap sci-fi alien plots contrasted with the trials of the melodramatic dystopian shrunken-people world makes Solar Opposites one of the most inventive comedies of the season, and I’m excited to find out where it’s going next. – Joe Matar

14 – Dave (FX)

There are countless hip-hop artists whose backstories would make for compelling television. So why did FX choose to spotlight a goofball white rapper from the suburbs with a mediocre penis joke for a stage name? It takes only one episode to realize any preconceived notions about Dave, based on the life and rap career of Dave Burd, aka Lil Dickey, should be spit from your silly mouth faster than Lil Dickey spits bars on a freestyle.

A telling sign that Dave was going to be a sleeper hit was the involvement of co-creator Jeff Schaffer, a longtime EP and writer on Curb Your Enthusiasm and the creator of FX’s The League. Together Schaffer and Burd mapped out a first season that sees Dave navigate the early stages of his music career with a level of narcissism he believes is needed to be taken seriously in the rap game. But the series also shows another side of Dave, self-deprecating in a surprisingly endearing way, rarely swayed by what others think, and frustratingly true to himself and the path he sees for his life. This is FX’s star vehicle for Burd, but the show manages to make him the center of the universe while still developing key players in his life as the season progresses, giving each character an affecting spotlight episode. The standouts include episodes about Dave’s real-life friend and hype man GaTa and his struggles with bipolar disorder, the evolving managerial relationship with his roommate (Andrew Santino), and how sudden fame begins to erode a once promising relationship with his girlfriend, Ali (Taylor Misiak).

Already renewed for season 2 and a ratings hit with FX/Hulu reporting high streaming numbers, Dave is no longer an underdog and will carry a new set of expectations as the titular character’s career ascends. If you’re still a skeptic, you need to adhere to television’s golden rule when it comes to Dave: Don’t judge it until you binge it. – Chris Longo

13 – Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox)

At only 13 episodes, Season 7 was the shortest season yet of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, but it packed a lot into those 13 half-hours. With Melissa Fumero pregnant in real life, the writers used this to cover six months in series by following Jake and Amy’s attempts to conceive a baby, helping those limited episodes to feel like they were filling out more time. The show has also struggled to work in its annual Halloween Heist episodes since moving to NBC and being put into a winter start slot, but in 2020 Rosa managed to triple her victory by engineering Heists on not just Halloween, but Valentine’s Day and Easter as well.

Season 7 aired too early to deal with the Black Lives Matter protests that dominated the summer of 2020, but the writers have already pulled all their planned scripts for Season 8 and re-written them in light of those events, so that is yet to come. 2020 had a little bit of everything that makes B99 great—a dose of Pimento, Jake and his daddy issues, Holt’s adorable corgi Cheddar, and one final appearance from his nemesis Madeline Wuntch. For once, the season didn’t end with Holt somehow being removed from his job as Captain of the 99, but there’s still plenty to look forward to in Season 8—maybe 2021 will be the year that Charles Boyle finally wins the Halloween/Valentine’s Day/Easter/Cinco de Mayo Heist? – Juliette Harrison

12 – Animaniacs (Hulu)

Rampant remakes and sequel reboots have turned into the norm, but streaming services have especially embraced this idea as a way to anchor a library of programming. These endeavors are extremely hit or miss, but Hulu’s revival of Animaniacs is one of the few exceptions that feel justified for a return. Animaniacs always functioned as a radical cocktail of perversions of pop culture and classic comedy and 2020’s Animaniacs actively thrives with decades’ worth of new material to lampoon. The series has stripped itself back to its basics and temporarily removed most of the old supporting players, except for Pinky and the Brain, but this allows Animaniacs to build itself back up and establish new recurring characters and segments.

There’s such clear joy present in Animaniacs, whether it’s from the voice actors, the creative staff, or the animation team. Segments like an unauthorized Russian version of the Animaniacs or catchy songs about Shakespeare and the different First Ladies of America prove that the classic series’ sense of humor has successfully been maintained. If anything, the cartoon is even more fearless. It’s the perfect burst of ‘90s Saturday Morning nostalgia that’s also exceptionally funny and thought provoking. – Daniel Kurland

11 – Rick and Morty (Adult Swim)

Rick and Morty is a colossal behemoth of storytelling that’s developed a fascinating and often antagonistic relationship with its audience. 2020’s Rick and Morty content only includes five episodes from the second half of the show’s fourth season, but they’re some of the series’ wildest installments when it comes to storytelling, perpetual jokes, and the show’s ability to deconstruct itself and its fandom. The series Emmy-winning “Vat of Acid Episode” explores the emotional highs and lows of “save states” while “Never Ricking Morty,” the show’s “Story Train” episode, is perhaps the most structure-obsessed piece of television that’s ever been written.

Rick and Morty continues to expand its universe in exciting ways and allow its characters to realistically mature. These episodes provide fascinating insight on both Rick’s relationship with Morty as well as his bond with Beth. Even Jerry and Summer get their moments to shine and Rick and Morty feels more like an ensemble than ever before as it prepares to shake things up even more in season five. – Daniel Kurland

10 – Aunty Donna’s Big Ol’ House of Fun (Netflix)

In 2019, Netflix gave us I Think You Should Leave, the sketch comedy series from Tim Robinson that birthed memes that somehow only get more relevant (and funnier) as time goes on. In 2020, Netflix, likely mindful they needed to hold us over until Robinson finishes filming season 2, gave us a gift from down under called Aunty Donna’s Big Ol’ House of Fun. If you liked Robinson’s sketch series, imagine that on crack, dialed up to 100, and featuring the three silliest Australian dudes to ever walk on that continent. The series stars Mark Bonanno, Broden Kelly, and Zachary Ruane, a group of friends who formed a comedy group called Aunty Donna and gained a large following on YouTube with their absurdist humor that features simple premises that often descend into frenetic madness. See: them explaining how a board game works or doing roll call at school.

In Big Ol’ House of Fun, the series opens with a musical number that will have you wondering whether everything’s a drum. Episode 2 will change the way you think about your morning coffee. Friendly faces like Scott Aukerman and Ed Helms (or is it “Egg” Helms?) even stop by just to play ball. Through its infectious and (mostly) good-natured absurdist energy, the series lives up to its name with endlessly quotable and memable sketches. And much like I Think You Should Leave, Aunty Donna material only gets better when you rewatch it. Here’s to hoping Netflix will let us come back and visit this Big Ol’ House again for season 2. – Chris Longo

9 – Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet (Apple TV+)

Created by Rob McElhenney, David Hornsby, and Megan Ganz of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia fame, Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet is a new Apple TV+ comedy that easily justifies a subscription to the streaming service. Set within a video game studio for a popular MMORPG, Mythic Quest leans into certain workplace comedy tropes, but never feels derivative of the genre or that it’s just Always Sunny with a fresh coat of paint. The comedy effectively explores and skewers gaming culture, but a knowledge of the industry is not at all necessary to enjoy the program.

Smart and creative scripts are punctuated by the show’s phenomenal cast, which features the likes of McElhenney, Hornsby, and Danny Pudi. However, Charlotte Nicdao’s work as Poppy Li, the studio’s neurotic perfectionist lead engineer, is a revelation. Mythic Quest works so well because of how it grounds its quick comedy in powerful character dynamics. The series’ “standalone” flashback episode, “A Dark Quiet Death,” received a ton of acclaim, but there are few episodes of television from 2020 that contain more heart and honesty than the series’ quarantine-centric installment. – Daniel Kurland

8- Search Party (HBO Max)

HBO Max’s first bingeable, bonafide hit was outsourced from TBS. After languishing on basic cable with critical praise but low viewership, Search Party made the move to the new Warner streaming service for Season 3 and proved that the series was the perfect “watch it all in one afternoon” comedy. What began as a comedic mystery series about a group of prototypical Brooklyn millenials on a quest to find their missing former classmate shifted in its third season to become a satire on celebrity trials and how tabloid spotlight can turn unassuming people into sociopathic narcissists.

Search Party’s strength is in its ensemble. Alia Shawkat brings an interesting vulnerability to disaffected Dory, but her other “searchers” are the real bright spots. John Reynolds is perfectly cast as the de facto worthless millennial “beta male,” and John Early and Meredith Hagner are consistently laugh out loud funny as self-obsessed, attention seeking airheads. Search Party has a twisty, interesting plot, but it’s also a scathing indictment on an entire generation obsessed with celebrity, self-analyzation, and searching for “meaning.” If you have not yet watched one of the year’s funniest shows, get caught up before Season 4 debuts in January 2021. – Nick Harley

7- How To with John Wilson (HBO)

Life is strange. If you take a moment to actually watch and analyze many of the seemingly ordinary, day-to-day things you witness while walking down the street in a major U.S. city, you’ll be shocked at how alien it can all appear. In New York City in particular, every imaginable human behavior is on display somewhere, and documentarian John Wilson is out there capturing it all on camera. How To With John Wilson may seem like a series designed to teach you useful everyday skills like how to split a check or how to improve your memory, but in reality, it’s a love letter to New York, in all of its beautiful, ugly, life-affirming, and soul-crushing splendor.

It’s also insanely hilarious. Wilson’s deadpan, stammering narration on top of quick cut, slice of life footage is an endlessly watchable setup-punchline joke machine. Wilson also is wise to go down the rabbit hole and follow weird digressions wherever they lead him, like a Mandela Effect conference or the home of an anti-circumcision activist. Further, the series finale is the first piece of television to fully capture the reality of post-pandemic city life, putting to shame all of those half-assed Zoom created depictions of life in 2020. Few shows can effortlessly glide between cringe comedy and poignant moments like this. How To with John Wilson is unlike any other show on television, an absurdist masterpiece that makes the mundane feel surreal and vice versa. – Nick Harley

6- High Fidelity (Hulu)

In a time full of reboots and remakes, High Fidelity earned its existence and then some. To its many admirers, it warranted a second season for more eclectic music choices, guest stars, and beautiful lingering shots over the credits. Sadly, that is not meant to be. Hulu’s High Fidelity is so much more than just a gender-swapped adaptation, though Zoe Kravitz leads the endeavor in the lead role of Rob, the idiosyncratic record store owner counting off Top 5s, especially her Top 5 heartbreaks.

Rob’s rich world is full of characters we’d love to spend more time with, like snarky Cherise, she of the eclectic taste who keeps putting off her musical dreams for “someday.” Or Simon, Rob’s ex and current best friend, who narrates an episode that completely changes how the audience views Rob. Zoe Kravitz carries this beautiful mood piece, sharing chemistry with just about everyone. While it seems relaxed and fun on arrival, High Fidelity eventually reveals itself to have plenty to say about being accountable for our actions and allowing oneself to be happy, before wrapping Rob in a warm summer night and sending her on her way. – Delia Harrington

5- Pen15 (Hulu)

The debut season of Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle’s brilliant series in which they, two adult women, play middle-schoolers surrounded by actual kid actors playing their classmates, was, in my opinion, the funniest show last year, but, as I didn’t actually get around to watching it until this year, I didn’t know that at the time. Rectifying my past mistake, this year—despite the fact it’s only aired half a season so far due to production being halted by COVID—it’s not just my favorite comedy, it’s my favorite show, period.

Though it still has its fair share of laugh-out-loud moments, the comedy in the second season has, admittedly, been scaled back a bit, but it makes perfect sense for where Pen15 is right now. From the start, what the series has done painfully well is zero in on the utter nightmare of living through our stressful and confusing pubescent years. As the series deepens its exploration of these characters’ experiences with friendship, romance, sexuality, the internet, and the impact of divorce, the stress and confusion should and absolutely do ratchet up. This season is also doing a great job of further developing the show’s side characters, with a standout arc for Dylan Gage as Gabe, who is grappling with the discovery that he may be gay. Though it’s still a hilarious series in places, Pen15 most wins me over most for how uncomfortable and tragic it can be with its stunningly well-observed depiction of surviving junior high. The secondhand shame and embarrassment you’ll feel makes it one of the toughest, but most worthwhile, watches of the year. – Joe Matar

4 – Ted Lasso (Apple TV+)

Jason Sudeikis’s Ted Lasso first originated as a character back in 2013, when NBC Sports commissioned a commercial for its upcoming coverage of the English Premier League. “An American Coach in London” introduced the concept of an American football coach deciding to try his hand coaching “the other football” with top flight club Tottenham Hotspur. It was a hilarious five minute clip that seemingly exploited the “fish out of water” concept to its natural conclusion.

The character seemed destined to be a one-off goof. But then Sudeikis and producer Bill Lawrence decided to try their hand at the overmatched coach one more time with a series for Apple TV+. The end result was one of the most essential new comedies of the 2020 TV season. Ted Lasso works because its’ funny, first and foremost. The show proves that this fish still had plenty of more time to spend out of water after all. More important, however, is how aggressively wholesome and optimistic it is. In a year that saw ugly Americans all over over TV screens, Ted Lasso represented the stars and bars the only way he knew how: by believing in the best of people from aging football star Roy Kent, to selfish young buck Jamie Tart, to even the woman who got him this job in the first place as an elaborate revenge plot. – Alec Bojalad

3 – Schitt’s Creek (Pop)

If Schitt’s Creek were a fairy tale (and in all the best ways, it is), it’d be about a group of puppets brought to life by a magic spell. When the Roses lose their fortune, they’re forced to swap wealth and glamour for unfashionable small-town living. They start out wooden, obnoxious and alone. Then, over six seasons, we watch them transform into a flesh and blood family who figure out how to love each other in a community that’s as weird as they are, and that ends up loving them back.

If that sounds schmaltzy, then I’m saying it wrong. Schitt’s Creek doesn’t do schmaltz. It does smart and absurd and naughty. It does jokes and brightness and kindness. Or it did, because now it’s gone. 2020 waved Johnny, Moira, David and Alexis off with a final season packed with treats: Patrick’s spray tan, David’s bed-wetting, the world premiere of “The Crows Have Eyes III: The Crowening”, Moira officiating a wedding dressed in a Rapunzel wig and pearlised bishop’s mitre…

However painful it was to say goodbye, the alternative – another six seasons with diminishing returns – would have been much worse. Dan and Eugene Levy’s sitcom went out on a high, with a finale that left fans in joyful tears. Not least for moments like the one in which a usually armoured-by-sarcasm David tells his sister, “For what it’s worth, I am continuously impressed by you.” The feeling’s mutual, Roses. – Louisa Mellor

2- BoJack Horseman (Netflix)

Though BoJack Horseman premiered only the back half of its final season in 2020, those eight episodes were some of the best dramatic and comedic storytelling on television this year. This final season operated as almost a microcosm of the series’ entire run. Just like the show’s beginning, season 6B begins with BoJack in a place of relative stability. He has just finished rehab and is prepared to embark on a career as an acting professor at Wesleyan. Of course, something from his past has to pop up to shatter his fragile equilibrium, just like it always does. In this case, it’s a pair of journalists working on a story of what really happened the night Sarah Lynn died back in season 3. What follows is as sadly predictable as it is tragic… also there are jokes!

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

BoJack Horseman has been a frequently occurring item on many of our year-end best-of lists since the show first premiered in 2014. And each time, it’s hard not to continually expound upon what a bizarre, touching, and incisive drama Rapahel Bob-Waksberg’s animated creation is. That temptation remains for this final season, which is as devastating as they come. But this year, for the show’s final appearance on any of our best-of lists, let’s not lose sight of how funny this all is.

Yes, this is an exploration of the human condition and how the only way to repair our damage is to acknowledge it and then put in the work to get better. It’s also the show where Mr. Peanutbutter, his fiancée Pickles Aplenty, and international pop superstar Joey Pogo open up a Lazy Susan/small plate restaurant called “Elifino.” The animation remains just as bright in this final season, the dialogue just as witty and convoluted, and the background jokes just as rewarding. BoJack Horseman season 6 shoulders a grand narrative burden of closing out the story of the world’s most miserable Horseman. That it is able to do so is remarkable. That it’s able to do so while maintaining its sharp sense of humor is even better. – Alec Bojalad

1- What We Do in the Shadows (FX)

Adapting a beloved indie comedy film to the small screen seems a near impossible task. But when Taika Waititi convinced Jemaine Clement they should do exactly that, it was a stroke of genius. With Waititi busy on his Marvel movies, Clement was left to write and produce the FX series alongside Stefani Robinson and Paul Simms. What We Do in the Shadows began with a solidly silly first season but came into its own during a stellar second season which leaned into the absurdity innate to the idea of ancient vampire roommates. The series has also given us a new action hero for the ages in Harvey Guillén’s Guillermo de la Cruz.

What makes season two so excellent is the writing and performances that play on the fish out of water setup the show has so much fun with. In “The Curse,” Nandor checks his email and discovers a chain email from Bloody Mary. Most of the hilarious runtime focuses on the crew trying to uncurse themselves. It sounds simple but it is honestly one of the funniest episodes of TV you’ll watch all year. “The Curse” is only topped by “On the Run,” which allows Matt Berry to go full Matt Berry as Laszlo leaves the nest and becomes a bartender, Jackie Daytona, who loves girls volleyball in smalltown America. It’s a pitch perfect riff on feel good sports movies while also being hysterically funny. It’s still a complete crime that Robinson didn’t win the Emmy for this one.

But the real power of What We Do in the Shadows is its heart. Even within the broad comedy, genre parodies, and often gross out humor, this is a show about love, family, and friendship. Guillermo’s arc feels radical and boundary-pushing. It’s so well built in from the very first season that it’s also incredibly satisfying. This is the kind of comedy we need more of: inclusive, intelligent, and most importantly just really, really, f**king funny. – Rosie Knight

The post The Best TV Comedies of 2020 appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3nKoYDr

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

1 note · View note

shoyoboops · 7 years

Text

KIM TAEHYUNG’S NOT SO STRAIGHT TENDENCIES (a.k.a his gayest moments) PART 1

(I cannot provide media proof since that’ll take a lot of time, but if you observe Kim Taehyung, you’ll get what I’m saying. Also, my native tongue is not english so I’m gonna have to ask you to excuse my shortcomings lol)

Before anything, I’d like to say that I acknowledge that Kim Taehyung is definitely a beautifully unique person who has shown time and time again how a person can have so many different sides. I am aware that he is the embodiment of affection and appreciates physical contact BUT SOME THINGS BEYOND THIS ARE JUST HARD TO IGNORE.

1. Muscle Kink

-This may be something the less observable fans may have overlooked. There have been several instances when our dear Taehyung had been a little bit too enthusiastic about feeling up other men’s biceps and abs. I have seen him many times, feeling up the other members, particularly Hoseok (in one of the latest Bon Voyage episodes), Seokjin (during their earlier days), Jimin (occasionally, I distinctly remember him feeling up Jimin’s abs) and Jungkook (on several different times, he even bit his biceps for fuck’s sake). Even Namjoon from time to time. And I’m certain that he had not only felt them up casually, if his lip bites were anything to go by. (BONUS: His whole reaction to that one shirtless crew member during one of the episodes in Bon Voyage S2?! He was definitely checking him out, look at the video I posted if you wanna know what I’m talking about)

-We all know he also has an affinity to being carried. I have never seen him show any negative reaction when being manhandled by his members. I expect that we all know his legendary moments when he purposely climbed onto other members’ backs for a piggy back ride or randomly clings onto them like a koala. I have seen videos from 2014 til today that can prove this. I remember that Seokjin tended to play around with him and carried him bridal style during their fansigns earlier back then. Also, he seemed very happy when Nate picked him up when they were saying goodbye during AHL. I’ve also seen him demand piggy back rides from Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook. Sure, he may have complained during a particular BTS Festa back then about Jungkook throwing him whenever he annoyed the maknae, but seriously? Why would he even bother Jungkook again and again if he knew the outcome was him being thrown around their dorm? The maknae even said that he’d repeat annoying him for about thirty times? Something doesn’t seem right there. (Also, while “complaining” I didn’t really see him be seriously troubled by it? I don’t know if it’s just me).

-Did you also see how he held back his smile and tried to hide his excitement when he got a piggy back ride from one of is Hwarang members during a photoshoot? Our Gucci boy literally had sparkles in his eyes. (Also in Hwarang, when Hyunsik just did the ‘dip’ with him? Y’know that that step in salsa. During one of their photoshoots/interviews, when his hyung finally finished his shoot, he went and bulldozed Tae off his feet. I didn’t see him complaining though, he even had a huge smile).

-When Seokjin got pissed at them (him and Jimin) during ISAC 2017 and he carried Taehyung towards where he threw his shoes, our little Taetae was giggly the whole time and was completely flustered when it ended. (Also with Seokjin, when they were promoting the Wings album, he suddenly clung onto him and let himself be carried just like old times).

-The legendary Taekook moment during their concert in Japan. I forgot where it was (Nagoya?). It was around 2016, if i’m not mistaken, when he got on Jungkook’s back during their “Attack on Bangtan” performance. He clung to him like a life line and he was truly enjoying himself. (Bonus: when he also asked for a shoulder ride).

-Let’s not forget the instances when he just praised other members’ bodies. Like, saying “Rapmon-hyung has the best body” and “Jungkook has a nice body”. I’m sure there are a lot more, but I can’t remember.

2. Girls

-Before anything else, I’m not ruling out any possibility of him being interested in the opposite gender (because girls are fucking hot, trust me), but he has not shown any genuine interest in them? I know that some of the fans would mention the Star King thing? The one where this girl was teaching them exercises. I honestly get annoyed when they make inappropriate jokes about this because there was nothing really sexual about it at all? I mean, yeah, he glanced from time to time but wouldn’t it be awkward and disrespectful to not look at an instructor? (Others may say “but what about his facial expression?” Bitch, what facial expression? All I saw was him trying to do the exercise and being in slight pain while doing so because he doesn’t exercise regularly for shit). You can also see that he was seriously trying to get the position right so he observed well (he even did that cute little wall exercise for couples with the other male mc).

-I also notice that in award shows, he doesn’t look particularly enthusiastic about girl group performances. Sure, he dances along to the catchy ones but unlike other people, he doesn’t really give that much attention to it? (I understand that it is disrespectful for them to stare, but I don’t think he feels the urge to do so, he can give sneaky glances but I don’t see him doing that. Just pure enjoyment and appreciation of music).

-During YamanTV (?) I’m not sure if the title is correct. One male MC suddenly felt the need to voice out his opinion about Taehyung’s looks. Out of the blue, he praised Taehyung for being very handsome (which made him shy), and then added “you must be very popular with girls” which stopped him momentarily from talking (he laughed at the comment), but then just continued talking like nothing happened.

-His general non-chalance about how girls could perceive his actions. There are a loooooooooooooot of instances like this. When he was MC-ing with this other female idol, and he just acted naturally goofy the whole time; when he added sound effects to his comments when BTS and Twice were being interviewed about their songs (he got shy at first like how most people would react but he got over it instantly and went to do aegyo while imitating the girl group’s song); when he literally twerked over the speaker during New Year(?) while the other members of Red Velvet stared at him like he’s a madman during an award show; AND his shameless flirting with his members during award shows, while in the presence of female groups e.g. Taejin being playful at MAMA and TAEKOOK goofing off during Golden Disk Awards while girl group members were literally behind them).

3. Spontaneous moments

-I think he is generally a spontaneous person and gaddamit, he does some pretty questionable things when his bout of craziness comes around:

-When he kissed Jungkook’s ears during one of the Festas, I literally just stared for a few seconds because WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? (That’s how not you get voted as the favourite hyung).

-Seokjin’s graduation where he swiped some cake from Jin’s lips with his thumb and literally sucked it, then smirking immediately after. (JESUS CHRIST)

-In their earlier days when he grabbed the back of Seokjin’s head and pulled him in until they were nose to nose (in an AIRPORT WTF).

-Randomly acknowledging another man’s attractiveness. He would praise Hoseok from time to time, saying he’s the most handsome; suddenly saying that Jungkook is sexy during bon voyage season 1 AND (this one took me by surprise) When they were in one interview with the Hwarang cast and they were watching some memorable scenes, Tae said “You’re so handsome” out of the blue when he saw Hyungsik’s character THEN he proceeded to be flustered and looked like he didn’t have the intention to say it out loud like that. He said it with a somewhat exasperated tone that fangirls have when they come to admire their male crushes. He was so shocked that he voiced it out and became silent afterwards.

-Playing with male idols’ ears. This has somewhat become an endearing move when it comes to Taekook since he does it to the maknae all the time, BUT we should also take note that he does it to male idols who catch his interest (?) Bogum and Sungjae eventually became his friends, right? AND SPEAKING OF BOGUM. No, I’m not gonna talk about their Jeju date since straight men can also have “platonic dates”. Admittedly, it was very cute though. I am, however, gonna point out about Tae’s fixation on him. I have seen Tae interact with several idols and, for me, none of them had caught Tae’s interest as much as Bogum did. When he first saw him MC-ing during an award show, he immediately played with his ears and sent several glances in his direction the whole time. (Not to mention he barely even looked at Irene, who was also MC-ing with Bogum even though she was the one talking). It was also said that he approached Bogum first backstage and asked for his contact. Then when he was asked during celebrity bromance, he said that he contacted Bogum every day. Also, out of all his friends idol friends outside Bangtan, he only ever bothered to set up pre-planned dates with Bogum. You know what? I’ll talk about the Jeju thing anyway. Why would he choose to spend the day immediately after a tiring concert, to immediately fly to Jeju with him during one of their rare rest days? (I’m not implying that they’re dating, what I’m saying is that there is definitely an attraction that comes with that much effort, BONUS: have you heard of the Korean reddit user who said Bogum bought him a drink when he was in PULSE (a gay bar) and stated that Bogum had a super famous person with him that night and they left together?). Having said that, he may find comfort in hanging out with people who…share his sentiments.

-Finally, the randomest shit he’s ever done this month. Sit on Jeon Jeongguk’s lap. Come on, you’re lying of you say that that didn’t surprise you at least a little bit. (BONUS they were both so GENUINELY flustered when it happened, it kinda looked like it felt awkward for the other members).

NOTE: This is part 1 and I basically put all the light stuff here. The heavy stuff is for the part 2. So, I’m sorry if you think this was a waste of time, but I think part 2 is where the serious stuff is at. I’ll be mentioning there his relationship with members, some BigHit stuff (Stigma and the like) and a little about his background

AGAIN: I AM NOT STATING THAT HE IS GAY. He may be perfectly straight and is actually just a very VERY touchy person BUT please respect my opinion and I will respect yours. I WILL LOVE HIM NO MATTER WHAT HE IS AND NO MATTER WHO HE LOVES SOOOO…UNTIL THEN :)

164 notes · View notes

aspiecrow · 7 years

Note

All the DC asks :P

1. “Duet” from the Flash or “Mayheim of the Music Meister” from Batman the Brave and the Bold?

“Mayhem of the Music Meister”. “Duet” pissed me off so much on so many different levels. The fact that they think making an original character whose powers aren’t even music-based and just slapping the name “Music Meister” on him is enough to make fans of him happy, as well as the fact that it has Kara and her abusive dickhead boyfriend Mon-El get back together after a day of being broken up (for VERY good reasons) just made me furious enough that I couldn’t enjoy one single part of it.

2. Do you like the arrowverse? If so what’s your favorite show?

Nope. I loved the first season of Supergirl (in spite of a few problems), but then the CW got its hands on the show and completely destroyed what it was.

3. First comic read?

A UK reprint of Batman. It was already about halfway through “Hush”, but I followed along relatively easily and really enjoyed it.

4. What introduced you to the DC universe? Was it a show, comic or movie?

I think it was the New Batman Adventures cartoon, but it might have also been the 60s show (which got repeated a lot on TV over here).

5. Favorite character?

A three-part tie between Batman, Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown.

6. Favorite cannon ship?

Tim/Steph.

7. Favorite non-cannon ship?

Raven/Cassandra Cain.

8. Pre-N52 or N52?

Pre-N52, of course. Anything good in the N52 (of which there were very few) could have happened without the N52 (and, in some cases, like the basic story of the Court of Owls, would have been better if they had).

9. Rebirth or N52?

Rebirth. There’s still a lot wrong (the treatment of Cass and Steph, for one), but overall, it’s most definitely a step in the right direction.

10. Death in the Family or Death of Superman?

Hmmmm, both have their good and bad points. “Family” paved the way for Tim, but “Superman” paved the way for Steel and Superboy. I think I’ll go with Death of Superman, though, purely because Death in the Family had the whole “vote to kill or save Jason” thing, which was quite the hot mess.

11. Favorite live action movie?

Batman (1989)

12. Favorite animated movie?

Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (also my favourite DC movie overall)

13. DCEU or DCAU?

DCAU, definitely. However, while I hated Man of Steel and Suicide Squad and really didn’t like Dawn of Justice, I loved Wonder Woman, so I’m hoping we’re on track with the DCEU (though I still refer to it as the DCCU, because I’m pedantic).

14. Favorite member of the trinity?

I love them all, but Batman has a slight edge.

15. Dark trinity or trinity?

Trinity.

16. Outsiders or Titans?

Titans.

17. Teen Titans or Young Justice?

Young Justice.

18. Favorite animated show?

A tie between “Batman: The Animated Series” and “Justice League/Justice League Unlimited”.

19. Favorite superhero family?

Batman Family

20. Young justice(show) or Teen Titans(show)?

Teen Titans.

21. Do you watch Teen Titans Go?

Hoo, boy, that’s a can of worms. Initially, yes. I actually didn’t mind it. It was a goofy show that wasn’t meant to be anything other than that. It sucked that it was on and Young Justice (which had gotten a lot better with Season 2) was constantly sidelined and then cancelled, but I tried not to let that affect how I watched the show. Then they started insulting fans of the old Teen Titans show and getting progressively more mean-spirited. I dropped it like a hot potato the second that happened.

22. Favorite Robin?

Tim Drake.

23. So you prefer Superman and Wonder Woman, Batman and Wonder Woman, steve Trevor and Wonder Woman or does it even matter?

I’m okay with Batman and Wonder Woman, but honestly, I’ve never been a particularly big fan of any of them. The Superman and Wonder Woman pairing needs to die in a fire, though.

24. If you had total control what would you change?

Oh, God, what WOULDN’T I change? This’ll probably have to be its own post, honestly.

25. Batgirl or Oracle?

I’m assuming this is which mantle I prefer Barbara Gordon as? In that case, Oracle, no question.

26. Whos your favorite Batgirl?

Cassandra Cain. I love Steph, but she REALLY shouldn’t have been Batgirl.

27. Batgirl and the birds of Prey or Red Hood and the Outlaws?

Batgirl and the Birds of Prey, because as far as I’m aware, it’s not written by a disgusting human being.

28. Favorite comic run?

Scott Peterson, Kelley Puckett and Damion Scott's run on Batgirl.

29. Favorite comic artist?

Alex Ross or J.H. Williams III. I really like Jim Lee too, but just as an artist.

30. Favorite comic writer?

Gail Simone, Greg Rucka, Paul Dini or Dan Jurgens

31. Do you like The Joker?

When he’s written well, yep! Of course, that goes for more or less every character.

32. Who do you think is the most overused or overrated characters?

Harper Row. In her first few appearances, I really liked her and she definitely has a lot of potential. However, throughout “Batman Eternal” and “Batman and Robin Eternal”, she was shilled constantly, especially at the expense of Stephanie and Cassandra, and it’s infuriating.

33. Batman the animated series or Superman the animated series?

I love Superman: The Animated Series, but Batman: The Animated Series is just amazing.

34. Legion of Superheros or Batman Beyond?

Batman Beyond. I never really watched Legion of Superheroes.

36. Justice league or Justice league Unlimited?

Both.

37. The Batman or beware the Bat?

Neither. I hated both of them.

38. Who do you think is the most overlooked or underused character?

Stephanie Brown and Cassandra Cain.

39. Do you watch Gotham?

Yep, but it’s awful and like watching a trainwreck. Season 4 is marginally better (props for actually getting someone who isn’t white to play Ra’s al Ghul, even if they’re still butchering the pronounciation), but it’s still a dumpster fire.

40. Do you like marvel?

Mostly. I’ve hated what they’ve done with Spider-Man ever since One More Day (which turned Peter into a villain, because only villains makes deals with the devil, especially once that erase a child from existence), and the whole “Jubilee’s a vampire thing” is crap (Jubilee is my favourite character, and the fact that she lost her powers but freakin’ Peepers got to keep his is atrocious), and let’s not even get started on Nick Spencer and his bullshit. But there’s still a lot I do like.

41. Jon kent or Damian Wayne?

Jon Kent. Damian has grown on me (even if there’s been this disturbing “Damian is Bruce’s one true son” trend in the comics lately), but Jon is just adorable.

42. Renee Montoya or Vic Sage

Both!

43. Kate Kane and Renee Montoya or Apollo and Midnighter?

I’m a firm Kate/Maggie shipper, so Apollo/Midnighter.

44. Barry Allen or Wally West?

Wally West. Barry Allen has two modes: mind-numbingly dull or “Let’s steal Wally’s personality”.

45. Kara Zor-El, Stephanie Brown or Cassie sandsmark?

Stephanie Brown

46. Kord Industrues, Wayne Tech or Lex Corp?

Wayne Tech

47. If you could have any characters powers who’s would you have?

Superman’s

48. Favorite villain?

Constantly changes, but as of me writing this, The Riddler.

49. DC Bombshells, Injustice or Kingdom Come?

Haven’t read DC Bombshells yet, and I hate Injustice, so Kingdom Come.

50. Injustice or the Arkham games?

The Arkham games.

51. Justice League or League of Assassins?

Justice League.

52. Are you excited about the upcoming Titans show? What about Young Justice?

Sort of. I’m cautiously optimistice. Definitely happy that Steph’s finally getting to appear in an adaptation (just worried that she’ll not be handled well, especially since Young Justice Season 2 ended with Tim and Cassie getting together for literally no reason). With Titans, I’m quite bitter that we’re probably not getting Cyborg, and I’m worried about the age difference between Raven’s actress and the rest of the cast (they should all be the same age).

#DC Comics #dalekofchaos

2 notes · View notes

hooryayy · 7 years

Text

TWO YEARS TO THE DAY LATER and I am finally ready to share the story of when I fangirled hard enough to Edward James Olmos that he gave me a free autographed photo of him and Mary McDonnell

So this might get a tad longish, so I’ll be under a cut, but here is a brief summary: a Trump supporter pissed me off so much that despite me being high as heck on adderall, I had to go talk to EJO

In July 2015 I got my then romantic partner and his roommate to watch BSG with me so when I found out EJO was going to be at San Jose Comic Con in August, it only took a little bit of pestering to get them on board.

It was a 2-day convention and my always broke ass had to work late Friday night so we were only going to make it for half of the first day. Saturday morning rolls around and the boys are tripping out because our usual drug guy fell through. It was kind of a ritual for us to pick up some uppers anytime we went out of town, and tbh we were all heavily drug dependent back in those days SO you bet we took 2 extra hours to pop in and out of the city to pick up.

Finally dosed and got on our way, hit the usual weekend bay area traffic and arrived to the con at 3pm. We walked in and the line to meet this guy stretched wall to wall and I was immediately intimidated and tried to walk back out lmao. An announcement was made that they were ending for the day at 4, so I felt a lot less pressured to overcome my anxiety yet. Spent that hour in Star Trek collectors heaven though..

Rest of the eve/night we spent doing things GROWN ASS ADULTS shouldn’t be doing like sneaking into mini-golf and climbing trees with bottles of Jack and hot-boxing our hotel room while watching the series finale of Hannibal...

OK so Sunday. This was my day. We were having breakfast at the Red Robin in Morgan Hill with all the white families that just got done with church, the three of us doubled-down on 60 extended (okay this is a pretty big dose) and I’m starting to get anxious again (with or without the drugs it wouldn’t have mattered) like “I’m not/I can’t meet this guy, I don’t know how to approach him or even what to say blah blah blah” and the boys are getting mad at me because I talked about this for weeks (and planned what i wanted to say) and I’m being lame and I’ll be fine..

We show up to day 2, 12pm.. and literally no one is in line and now I am hella freaking the fuck out because literally it is only me that is stopping this from happening. My friend immediately walks up and shakes his hand and chats for a second and comes back and says the obvious that he is a nice dude, and I am like frozen, second hand embarrassment even though nothing bad happened. But my scared ass walks to the exact opposite corner of the building to slowly browse and psyche myself up for this.

so I got sucked in to this guy’s 90s scifi trading card collection, specifically the x-files binders lol and then he starts to make small talk and stuff, he asks what I study. OK I studied Political Science and Religious Studies, and it LITERALLY does not matter which answer I give it always starts something. but I choose the easier one and say politics.. and hooo boy

This fucker just goes off on me, saying shit like how stupid and lazy my generation is and that we don’t work hard, are entitled and have no idea how the real world works (the usual propaganda), and if we did we would be thinking about voting for Trump in the 2016 election (mind you this was VERY early on where Trump was still considered a joke even to the republicans)

Remember I am HIGH AS Shit. I am 2000% extra aware of and feeling the aggressive and hateful energy coursing through my veins from this interaction. Now Im sure he said other things I don’t remember because all I could do is focus on my breathing as to not get manipulated into whatever space this guy was trying to create but I heard a break in his rant, looked up, smiled and said “Thanks for sharing your collection with me” and dipped for the back exit to smoke 18 cigarettes.

Here is where I am letting myself get fucking pissed off, pacing and chain smoking. Neither of the boys are answering their phones. Then I realized how badass I was just then, and proud of myseelf for spiritually blocking out a nazi (again this is before they identified as such and punching them was a thing). I was like if I can handle this asshole, I can go meet Edward James Fucking Olmos no. problem.

I march back in and go straight to his table but then I took a detour to sit in a white folding chair about 20 feet away for 25 minutes first. Eventually one of his security dudes comes up to me and is like “Are you waiting for an autograph?” and I’m like “no, but I do want to talk to him for a minute if that is possible”

The guy asks for my name and we walk up to EJO together and he goes “This is Amy. She would like to talk with you.” And now I am realizing that everyone here is trying to gauge how severe my social handicap is.. but he puts out his hand to shake

“Hi, I am Ed.” I shook his hand!!

“I’m Amy. I just had the most awful interaction with a Trump supporter here so Im a little put off. He kept telling me how stupid me and my generation are and it makes me very grateful that you are a humanist and philanthropist. I’d recently watched the UN Panel and you talked about the invention of race as a tool for genocide and it means so much to me that you would use your voice and influence on that platform to address these kinds of things...”

and I trail off cuz Im about to ramble and shit and I noticed how he was just taking everything I said very seriously, like wasn’t expecting any of that at all. HE pauses and looks back up at me and says how special that panel was to him, that he’ll never do something as important again in his life. Then he asks me where I go to school and what I study, so I tell him and he is impressed with all the creds. Asks me if I am planning on going into politics.

“Not in the public sense. I want to do policy research targeting intersections of poverty, race, and education” And I swear to god his eyes snap up so fast to meet mine, like he is in admiral mode here and I am captivated. Straight in the eyes to me he goes

“We need you. All of us needs you up there doing that, fighting for that, for us. I have a feeling we are about to enter some tough times. I can tell you are special and it takes special people to make things happen”

I said thank you but I am about to burst into tears. I mean we all know this but let me reinforce it.. Ed is such an intense human and I had all 100% of this guy in my presence, overwhelmingly so, and I am mostly shook because he literally had no obligation to say anything. This guy fucking met me 5 minutes ago but he is ready to say that, and I sense he isn’t the kind of guy to just say shit. Also I AM STILL VERY HIGH lets not forget

So I change the subject because that other stuff is getting too intense for me, and I switch over to BSG lol and I ask him about Adama’s tendency to punish himself physically when he feels he has played some role in pain or negativity coming into his loved ones’ lives. He talks particularly about Adama’s alcoholism in season 4 and how he approached it as a combo of punishment and escapism (which let me tell you is..accurate). He finishes up his answer and all of a sudden I fucking blurt out for some ungodly fucking reason

“I love you and Mary, you are so cute together, I hope to meet her too”

Mortified. I am overstepping boundaries. I am dying inside and I can’t believe I got 3 thoughts out before I stopped.

He smiles and giggles and grabs this pic to sign for me for freeee and says “I hope you will too”

Amy- all of my love to you.

Like is that something he would normally sign for someone? Is that something anyone would sign to a random fan?

Anyways he gave it to me, I said thanks and I literally ran out of the convention clutching this picture to my chest and sat down against the building and started crying of the ultimate level embarrassment I could personally possibly be on. My boys find me and laugh at me and I cried the whole way home.

I still get major embarrassment even today just thinking about this interaction, no matter how well it turned out and how much of an impact EJO had on me.

Feels good to finally share my story in its entirety!! Thanks for reading

#first full account #im serious i have psychological issues surrounding this #personal #edward james olmos #spaceparents #sjcc

6 notes · View notes

andrewuttaro · 5 years

Text

New Look Sabres: GM 62 - TOR - For Nathan

There is something deeply satisfying about the Sabres getting a guy rumored to be connected to the Leafs, particularly the day before you play them. It also feels like a trade like this with Anaheim has been in the making forever… like since before Jason Botterill. I’ve read speculation on a big trade for a Ducks defenseman since Eichel’s rookie year. There is no way all those talks built up to this right? Whole new GM yatta yatta yatta. At the very least this move shows Jason Botterill is up to stuff, we have something that is entirely his to point at now beyond the Skinner trade. This move proves JB isn’t asleep at the wheel which was a developing criticism that now gets tabled for at least four months. Getting a cost-controlled young defenseman with some term of Brandon Montour’s stature upgrades the D-core immediately and although past comments lead you to think otherwise it means JB is giving these guys another tool to make the playoffs. That goal has become pretty distant but it’s possible and a two-way puck moving defenseman can’t possibly hurt. That is a vote of confidence in the room. Use it, boys. In Botts We Trust! Early returns on this trade are good and can only get better when he plays against the Flyers tomorrow night. And yes, I will get to Nathan Beaulieu because his departure is somewhat serendipitous. The deadline is done and now it’s the final push for the playoffs no matter who you ask. There is no playoff trash talk I have relished as much as this: We know what the word is in Toronto. A first round exit would be unacceptable: the only thing to truly make this season a failed one for the Maple Leafs. I think I speak for every man; woman and child in Buffalo when I say the Sabres relish the opportunity of serving you a piping hot failed season for dinner in April! It’s only a fighter’s chance but oh that chance alone is worth going to war. Give me Ristolainen and Kadri fucking murdering each other game after game. Give me Eichel and Matthews yucking it up off the ice before putting on the great American gun show on the ice. Give me hordes of the Southern Ontario middle class flooding across the Peace Bridge in their Leafs uniforms only to be sworn at in Tim Hortons! This series is the sleeping giant of the NHL and a playoff series would be the kind of war NORAD worried about in the 80s! The Blue and Gold versus the Blue and White! Let’s do this! Sabres in 7!

There is a former Sabre, former as of about 3:42 this afternoon, who once said: “I have hated them my whole life.” That former Sabre was Nathan Beaulieu and those were the words he shared with the press last season after getting into a wicked scrap with then-Leaf Matt Martin. Yes, he was talking about these Toronto Maple Leafs. He hated them as a Habs fan in his childhood and for a year and a half our boy Nate, lived them as a Buffalo Sabre. I’m not eulogizing a guy who wasn’t good enough to consistently make the bottom defensive pairing but him being dealt the same day as a game against the Leafs felt right. It felt like this game was to be for Nathan! I doubt anyone on the ice was thinking that but nonetheless: FOR NATHAN! The first period of this game, like Sabres first periods often are, was an encouraging display of what this team can do when it plays its game. Buffalo played the kind of defense we can hope gets better with Brandon Montour: frustration. For the entire first frame the Sabres fought a neutral zone battle with the Leafs. The Leafs are good when their goal scorers are given space to be creative. The first period saw very little space for creativity as Dahlin, Bogo, McCabe and Ristolainen broke up passes and stopped the majority of scoring chances before they got into Carter Hutton’s business. Fredrick Anderson on the Leafs end was great as well staying on his game as the Sabres got the most of the period’s shots. He was until very late in the period that is. You could see John Tavares’ frustration when he got called for tripping sending the Sabres to the powerplay. Jack Eichel got the puck alone in the slot and one timed it past a heavily screened Anderson with 53 seconds left in the first. It was a great start for the visitors and you got the feeling we could see the kind of wins we’ve come to expect when the Sabres visit Ontario’s Capital. Then the wheels came off… or someone’s did.

Over the course of 2:04 early in the second period the Leafs scored three goals! Tavares, Matthews and the guy they call goat. All of the sudden it was 3-1 and you could totally see why. The puck watching of the Sabres when they’re NOT doing their thing. When they don’t fight for the puck on the wall and when they don’t breakup passes this team looks gross. We see this periodically roughly ever fifth game and I’ve gotten really tired of it. Against the Leafs its about the worst thing you can do not just because we all hate the Leafs, because, once again, Toronto lives and dies on their offense and when you let that offense breathe, they take up all the air in the room. I will say the goal song is great. I wish it wasn’t the LEAFS goal song but here we are. Good job on that one, Toronto. Now, instead of JT going to the box, it was Carter Hutton getting pulled and flipping shit on the bench. It was Robin Lehner last season and Carter Hutton this season. The Leafs piss off our goalies and I’m sure its not just us. The hard part for Hutton is that he was really beginning to look better and although we may have the patience to keep giving him starts we have a very unforgiving coach behind the bench so Ullmark coming in for the rest of this game may signal Ullmark returning to the level of starts he was getting not too long ago. The middle frame got worse before it got better and old pal Tyler Ennis, a fourth liner on their roster, scored a breakaway goal that may give you flashbacks to the golden era of… 2011? Ok, whatever. There was hope before the next intermission and a couple of compounding penalties gave Buffalo a 5-on-3 opportunity. I openly laughed in my unfaithful pompousness that they could capitalize on the powerplay but lo, it was our bridge beauty Sam Reinhart who took a Skinner pass in front and snuck it past Anderson. It would be 4-2 Leafs going into the third. Sam Reinhart gave us faith.

Jack Eichel gave us hot flashes. A minute had not passed in the third period and he enters the zone riding the circle around the Leafs defenders before roofing it 4-3 Sabres! Eichel was coming in on Anderson like a train locomotive. Anderson dodged Captain Jack, but Jeff Skinner did not and ate ice well Eichel looped back on the celly. The comeback was in motion now and while the shots on goal don’t show it the Sabres were pushing hard for the equalizer. With the Leafs fourth line scoring two of their goals in the second I was really pulling for one of those hard-working fourth line goals from Zemgus Girgensons or Johan Larsson but as close as they got there was no Sabres goal to come. There was one point in this final period when the puck was in play well above the ice and was coming down right over Rasmus Dahlin. Dahlin, who mind you is closing the gap with Elias Petterson in some metric I am too lazy and upset to look up right now, looked like an absolute competitor in this game. He saw the puck coming down and gave it a header to try to maintain possession. He may have the same first name as Ristolainen, but he is really the opposite, at least in possession and defensive zone play. Dahlin’s great play made the final goal of the game all the more heartbreaking when he couldn’t hold the puck in the zone on the Sabres late powerplay. Kasperi Kapanen took advantage of the opportunity and scored the breakaway goal to notch the final score line at 5-3 Leafs. A shorthanded goal with less than three minutes left in a one goal game deflates you like a Patriots Superbowl and this one ended in disappointing fashion. We’ll have to wait for those back-to-back wins we’ve been dying for. One Leafs fan I had an exchange with earlier in the day on twitter came back with that nifty timing after the final horn sounded to tell me the overall series is 18-16 Leafs since 2012. Thanks for that one, bud. My last thought on the Leafs in this will be that all my negative experiences with fans of the blue and white happen online. Literally every Leafs fan I’ve met in person is the sweetest shit ever. Just positive vibes going up the QEW from me after this game but that may not be true again on Saturday when we meet again.

Apologies, this is my longest New Look Sabres yet and I’m not done yet. That said, if you’ve read this far you probably enjoy this so please: like, share and leave a comment. Even if you’re a Leafs fan leave me comment. This blog is a lot more fun when it’s a conversation not a treatise. Some people pointed out with annoyance that Marco Scandella, fresh off the IR, got the third pairing start over Casey Nelson. I understand the frustration; hell, former Leaf Matt Hunwick was the other guy on that pairing! However, we should probably accept who we got for a Coach right now. Barring a shocking locker room cleanout and exit interviews day in April (and yes, start getting used to that probably coming in April) Phil Housley is likely the Coach into next season. The GM made a public vote of confidence in him and this is the bed we’re sleeping in. The Trade Deadline is past. This is the bed we’re sleeping in. Did we miss Scott Wilson? He’s back! This team with all it’s faults and late game collapses is what we got now. In the outside chance they make the playoffs: this is the team that will go. This is the team now… well except for our new friend and first Sabre in #62 Brandon Montour. With the Trade Deadline in the past it forces us to smell our stank and deal with the roster that is; but the other side of that coin is its fun to talk about what a great time that was!

The Trade deadline, hell the build up to it, can really mess with you. You know the endless updating twitter and the rampant speculation from all sectors. On Sunday night I bit on rumors linking Ristolainen to Callahan in Tampa and spent about 90 minutes trying to do the money gymnastics to make that work. The Montour trade put an end to all that in the same way it has reinvigorated all the Ristolainen talk. We all wanted to say that all these abrasive stats nerds were full of shit but we’re smarter than that. We told ourselves: Risto is just poorly utilized! Those arguments muddied the waters enough to cling to our abrasive Finnish sandpaper in back. Rasmus Dahlin changed that conversation and now Brandon Montour changes it again making it even harder to say Risto is bad because he’s been given too much in the way of minutes and workload. As a second pairing guy consistently, he shouldn’t be as statistically poor as he has been but the addition of Dahlin didn’t change that and if the addition of Montour doesn’t change that either we better prepare for a Risto trade by July 1st this summer. I’m not saying it needs to happen but it’s looking that way. That’s not the happiest outcome obviously, we’re all dying to see him in a playoff series but its probably what Botterill does: the last easily movable guy on this team who can actually get some decent assets in return. I feel bad about saying this too, I named my car after our first Rasmus, but if Botts can sell high on him it probably won’t be a move we’ll regret. Don’t factor out a playoff berth yet but focus your angriest passions elsewhere from now on. Get behind these Amerks! This AAF Football League is something! The Bachelor looks like it had a wild episode tonight. Cushion the blow but don’t hop off the roller-coaster just yet. There are still some fun hills and loops left even if its likely it doesn’t end in another, way cooler roller-coaster afterward. They’re back at it with the hot new face tomorrow night in Philadelphia: Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. My wife told me to calm down shortly before the final goal so naturally I was mad. I have proceeded to call her Kasperi for the rest of the night. Steve, should she be happy about that?

#buffalo sabres #hockey #blog #nhl #tmltalk

0 notes

dingoes8myrp · 7 years

Text

A Word on Buffyverse Ships

I've been thinking a lot about the romantic relationships of Buffy, the canon ones and the fandom ones. I've never really committed fully to one ship or another, nor have I condemned one or another. I've watched them, I've analyzed them, sure. But I've never picked one or voted one off the island. I suppose it wasn't the reason I watched the show, so I never saw the point.

Recently, I rewatched both shows as an adult (rather than a teen/collegiate). It's amazing how a few years can bring new perspective to things. Writing my own fanfiction and reading that of others as well as engaging in many wonderful discussions here with other fans has really made me think about which ships I'm really ride or die for, and which I could do without. So, here's my take for those interested (since I've given my two cents here and there in many of your discussions, I'm sure). Please feel free to reply, discuss, or what have you.

I'm going to talk about these basically chronologically (to the best of my memory). I haven't scoured the Internet for every single ship, so these are just the ones I've thought extensively about recently. If there's one I don't mention and you're curious about my thoughts, drop me a line.

Xander/Buffy – A Nice Thought I enjoy the idea of this one in a post-show timeline. As a teenager I think Xander is way too immature and judgmental to be a good fit for Buffy. During the rest of the show's run they're on different pages romantically and don't seem to want the same things, so I don't think there was ever really a right time for them to be a couple during the show storyline. Although when I read the rumor that Sarah Michelle Gellar and Nicholas Brendan pitched the pairing for season six I gushed a little. I do think by the end of the series Xander has displayed a remarkable amount of growth to become a humble, supportive man. He's loyal to Buffy in the way that he's by her side no matter what. Even if he disagrees with her or if he's angry at her, when push comes to shove he's in the fray right with her. However, he's not a yes man. He's not so enamored with Buffy that he doesn't see her flaws, and he's not afraid to call her out (albeit a bit brutally) when he thinks she's making a mistake. He also accepts her for who she is, even the parts he doesn't understand. I don't think these two would work as a lifelong pair, but they'd be an interesting match if the timing was right for them. Ultimately, I think it was a good move that this one remained unrequited.

Buffy/Angel – Meant to Be I have conflicted feelings about this one. I do not think it was a healthy example of a relationship, nor do I think it was intended to be a romanticized thing for people to aspire to. To me, the Buffy/Angel relationship always came off as a cautionary tale. Buffy was young and naïve at the start of their courtship, and the guy had a checkered past. "Oh, but he's different. He's changed." Her mother didn't approve, stating Angel was too old for Buffy (rightfully so). All the iffy red flags were there. I think Buffy was good for Angel, motivating him and helping him grow. But, I think he might have been a hindrance to her, as he always became priority over anything else (like oh, say, an apocalypse). One of my favorite Buffy moments is when she sacrifices Angel to prevent the Acathla apocalypse at the end of season two because she overcame that very issue. As an aside, I think Angel was a bit shady in his relationship with Buffy, knowing it wasn't the best thing for her, that realistically a life with him would mean a lot of sacrifice on Buffy's end. But, he pursued it anyway. The part where he had sex with Buffy and lost his soul is a bit suspect for me. The show seemed to steer us toward the direction that he didn't know exactly what "a moment of true happiness" meant, so that he couldn't really know sex with Buffy would make him lose his soul. But I have to think he knew it was at least a risk or a possibility. In my opinion, he was a bit reckless with that relationship, always going against his better judgment. So, I have my beef with this relationship for sure, and it's not my personal favorite. However, I think Angel is the person Buffy always measures everyone else she dates up to. He's the one for her, and I think Buffy is the same for Angel. Therefore, these two are my OTP, much to my chagrin.

Giles/Jenny – We Hardly Knew Ye This is a tough one. I wish we'd gotten a bit more time with Giles and Jenny because they barely got to be a relationship. Because of that, it's hard for me to land on it. They have kind of a nice bickering Pride and Prejudice thing happening, which is amusing. And it was nice to see Giles have his own life outside of being a watcher and a librarian. I also love Jenny as a character. She was portrayed in a way that I could imagine running into her teaching at my high school. She was a character I could see actually existing as a part of my world. Sadly, I don't see this as a long-lasting relationship. Mostly because they didn't know each other very well and never struck me as madly in love. Had they gotten the chance, I'm not sure it would have worked out, particularly with that slight deception on Jenny's end that put her at odds with Buffy.

Oz/Willow – The One I Want to Want This ship is particularly close to my heart for many reasons. Willow is probably the character high school me could relate most to, and Oz is my all-time favorite Buffyverse character. I can't explain why. He just is. I think for much the same reason I like Jenny. Because he's someone I could have gone to high school with (you know, aside from the werewolf part). This was the relationship I lived vicariously through when I was single or feeling bummed about a break-up. Oz was kind, considerate, quietly charismatic, drily witty, intelligent, and endlessly patient. He wasn't some knight in shining armor, or a smoldering heartthrob. He was just a guy, like any other guy I could have known. The fact that Willow caught the eye of a nice guy gave me personal hope for my own situation. Some days it still does. Oz is the dude I would date, marry, and have little werewolf babies with. Willow is my spirit animal. So, even though these two aren't an OTP for me as a fic writer/reader or a fan, they are my favorite ship. I could go on and on about them, so I’ll keep it short and sweet.

Spike/Drusilla – Eyeballs to Entrails These two are one of my favorite ships on the show. They're dark and twisted and they're both formidable villains when they want to be. But Spike, despite his undeniable edge, is so gentle with Drusilla and so devoted to her, it was one of the first hints of depth we saw in a vampire other than Angel. And Drusilla, despite her timid personality, had so much power in that dynamic. She was a strong woman, a force all on her own. These two are an OTP for me. I think if Drusilla had never left Spike he would have stayed with her forever. If Drusilla managed to get a soul she and soul-having Spike would probably reconnect with interesting results.

Spike/Angel – I'm Sure That's a Thing I don't really see a window for this in the run of the shows, but I totally believed these two were a Louis/Lestat type of thing back in the days of the Whirlwind. I definitely see a lot of subtext there, intended or not.

Cordelia/Xander – Well, There's Something You Don't See Every Day I… don't know where this one came from. When Cordelia and Xander shared their first dramatic kiss I think I laughed. "Oh, what a funny reaction for these two to have in that moment." And then that moment continued into a pretty substantial relationship. I never quite understood why these two were ever a thing. Realistically, yes. I get it. We've all watched two people get together and started taking bets on the date of their inevitable break-up. And on some levels I get the appeal. It's The Shop Around the Corner effect: these two can't stand each other, so naturally they need to be together. I did like the depth this relationship uncovered in Cordelia, but it's not one of my favorites.

Willow/Xander – Ugh. Really? Okay, I'm admittedly biased on this one because I've told you how I feel about Willow/Oz. I also have a general pet peeve when it comes to stories taking two characters who are good friends and deciding they have to pair them. It bugs the crap out of me that a man and a woman aren't allowed to just be friends in anything ever (except for Lucas and Haley in One Tree Hill and I love that about that show). I also can't stand love triangles. In conclusion, I hated this. Blasphemy. Never should have happened. Oz is a saint for forgiving Willow. Cordelia has every right to be pissed off about it. Xander's a dick for having the nerve to pull that Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered crap.

Buffy/Faith – Now That You Mention It… A relationship between Buffy and Faith never occurred to me when I watched the show. Then I read some fanfiction and some discussions about some subtext between these two. So, when I rewatched the show recently it was like "Wow, how did I never see that before?" One of my favorite moments in the show is the shared dream between Buffy and Faith at the end of season three. There is so much going on between these two women. I'm not sure the timing for a pairing was ever right for them in the show. Buffy was kind of closed off to Faith in the beginning, threatened by her and distant. Then once Faith went rogue I think she did some pretty unforgivable stuff as far as Buffy's concerned. Faith could say the same. Buffy did try to kill her. I don't think Buffy would ever forgive Faith for poisoning Angel, or for the body swap, but I don't think Faith would fault her for that. And I think Faith could forgive Buffy for stabbing her. I wish there was a window somewhere in the story where I could see this ship happening. Maybe post season seven. I'd have to think on it. However, I think these two women have a unique bond and, under the right circumstances and in the right plot, I could see this happening.

Giles/Joyce – Awkward I'm glad this was just kind of a fun one-time thing because how awkward would that have been? I feel like Joyce is always a bit competitive with Giles when it comes to Buffy. On the one hand, she respects Giles and appreciates how much he cares for Buffy. On the other hand, she resents him at times for endangering Buffy or for taking her away on some level. I think these two would always have a difference in opinion on what's best for Buffy, and that would kill any chance at a relationship they might have. How funny was that Band Candy episode, though?

Xander/Faith – Wait, What Just Happened? Again, I'm glad this was a one-time thing because – wait, what? This struck me as a plot device, a way to show us Faith was more dangerous than we thought. Tough break for Xander.

Xander/Anya – Haha! Oh, Wait… You're Serious? The issue I have with this ship is that it became a running gag on the show that Xander always fell for the monsters or the weirdos. Even when their relationship started, Anya was so awkward and out of place it was comedic. So when they made Xander and Anya a long-term couple I could never really take it seriously. I was always waiting for the punchline. It didn't help that as the show progressed they sort of gave Anya the Eric Matthews treatment and she went from trying to get used to being a mortal to "Who dropped her on her head?" Although they kind of grew on me, I never really considered this a realistic or long-lasting pairing. I did like Anya's arc after Xander bailed on their wedding. We got to see her trying to return to her demon ways and feeling conflicted. We got to see Xander struggle with the idea of a healthy marriage. That was all well and good. I just don't see this as an OTP kind of thing.

Riley/Buffy – A Breath of Fresh Air This is another ship that I personally really enjoy. Riley is a good, solid guy who's a badass in his own right and doesn't mind dating a woman who's independent and badass. I think Riley and Buffy had a healthy relationship, for the most part, until that clunkily executed break-up at the end (I think the show could have written that better). This wasn't quite a relationship I related to or lived vicariously through because Riley's not really my type and I couldn't really relate to Buffy much during this point in her arc. But, I enjoyed watching this ship and I really wanted it to work. It was healthy and safe, and Buffy never has enough of that in her life. However, I think the issues in the relationship were realistic. Buffy got kind of closed off and neglectful, and Riley got insecure and needy. Had that fortuitous and conveniently timed job offer not come along, I think these two could have eventually worked through those issues with some effort and commitment. But, I don't think Riley could ever hold a candle to Angel, so as long as Angel was in the picture I think he was always SOL.

Tara/Willow – You Make Me Complete This ship took me some time to warm up to, mainly because I felt like they wrote Oz out a bit unceremoniously so I didn't quite buy the quick progression to Tillow. However, I think these two had one of the most functional, realistic relationships in either of the shows. I would consider it THE most functional relationship if the whole addiction to magic arc with Willow hadn't happened (but that was a bit manipulative and unhealthy). I think Willow truly became whole as she grew over the course of her relationship with Tara, and I think Tara could breathe with Willow and feel comfortable with herself. I can't picture these two ever being as fulfilled with other people as they are with each other. I would have liked to see more of Willow coming to terms with her sexuality and dealing with that, and I would have liked to see a bit more development with the relationship. But these two are an OTP for me.

Spike/Anya – I Almost Forgot About That I didn't like this either. They just shoved these two together, got them drunk, and had them sleep together. It felt very contrived to me and I wasn't a fan.

Angel/Cordelia – I Guess You'll Do I never quite bought into this. It's very similar to Jenny and Giles for me in the way that it was hinted at that these two might have warm fuzzies for each other, but nothing was ever significantly done with it. For me, I don't know if I see this as a viable relationship. A lot of that is due to Angel being hung up on Buffy.

Cordelia/Doyle – A Face You Could Learn to Love These two had so much potential and I wanted so badly for them to be a couple. Another Jenny Calendar effect here where there was barely anything to suggest a possible relationship. But I think the chemistry between the two characters was spot on from the start. From the second he sees her Doyle's head over heels with the idea of her and she's rolling her eyes all "as if." But then they get to know each other and he genuinely appreciates the person she is. Unfortunately she never really gets to know him at all, so I don't really know how that relationship would have panned out. But I would have loved to see what would have happened.

Fred/Angel – Handsome Man Saved Me from the Monsters I'm glad this never became a full relationship in the show. I like the fact that these two were genuine friends and there weren't any romantic strings attached. Fred had a bit of a crush in the beginning, but I think that was a confusing mix-up on her part more than actual feelings. He saved her, so she automatically developed an appreciation for him. Overall these two had a sweet friendship and, while I think it could have developed into something under the right circumstances, I'm really glad it didn't.

Fred/Gunn – What Could They Possibly Have in Common? I'm not sure how these two ended up together. Opposites attract, I suppose. It just didn't feel like a real relationship to me. I tried to picture these two sitting around bored and talking and I had no idea what they'd possibly talk about. I feel like they'd be having a strike out conversation. "Do you like movies?" "Oh, I haven't really seen too many. I do like some of those old black-and-white romantic movies." "Oh. I'm not much for romance. More of an action kind of guy." "Oh… Have you read any good books lately?" "Uh… Not really. Been a little busy sharpening my knives and stakes." "Oh, right…" *cricket, cricket* It's not quite that I don't like this ship. It's more that I would have liked to have seen more of it, how it developed and how they worked. I didn't really have enough evidence to buy into it.

Fred/Wesley – Too Much Alike I understand the appeal of this ship, but in my opinion these two are too similar for a relationship to work well. I think they're much better as friends.

Buffy/Spike – Love Me, Hate Me I have a lot of personal bias with this one and it brings up some unpleasant feelings for me, so I don't think I could ever fully get on board with it even if I tried. That being said, I could see why this made sense at the time. This was always a relationship I could see happening under the right circumstances. Well, the stars aligned in season six and there you have it. The thing I don't like about this ship is how very unhealthy it is on both sides. It's very manipulative and abusive, and while that would be just fine if the two of them were soulless villains, it felt pretty out of character some of the time, particularly for Buffy. There was always a forced nature to it for me, which maybe was the point. Anyway, overall while I can see how it makes sense and I get the appeal, this isn't one I can rally behind because it makes me feel too icky.

Angel/Faith – Huh. Well, That's Interesting There's a lot of potential here. I think Faith and Angel understand things about one another no one else really could. They've both done terrible things (and enjoyed it), and they're both on sort of an impossible road to redemption. After a certain point, these two quietly became pretty ride or die for one another. And believably so. I didn't really see a place in the show's storyline where their pairing could have realistically fit, but I could see these two being a pair under the right circumstances. I think problems would arise because Angel's OTP is Buffy, and I think Faith would be very troubled by the idea of being compared to Buffy. But, it would be an interesting run while it lasted.

Wesley/Lilah – A Sharp Turn This was unexpected, but very cool. I liked that we saw a darker edge to Wesley and a softer side of Lilah. I also believed this relationship from the start. It made total sense to me at the time even though I didn't see it coming. These two had a mutual respect for each other, and they challenged each other. I also think they were very much in love, but neither of them really wanted to voice it (and I think they understood that about each other). While this relationship wasn't good for the rest of the characters involved because it sort of took Wesley away from the group, I like this ship a lot and it has the potential to be an OTP in my book. I would have needed to see a bit more of it.

Angel/Darla – It's Complicated I have mixed feelings about this one. While I think Darla and Angel totally miss the mark, Darla and Angelus are a perfect match, much like Spike and Drusilla. I think Angelus and Darla have a mutual appreciation for torturing and ruining others, and I think Darla understands exactly who Angelus is and is content to let him be that. He may not be devoted to her or even in love with her, but she's okay with that. As long as she's a part of the fun and she's in on the plans. It's not like she's entirely loyal to him either. She has her own agenda and likes her independence. However even human Darla and soul-toting Angel didn't really click for me. I think these two only work when they're both soulless monsters.

Connor/Cordelia – Eww, Why is This Happening? This was just gross. Wrong on so many levels. Cordelia was a mother figure to Connor, so her having a romantic thing with him was just icky, amnesia or no. Don't even get me started on the "It wasn't really Cordelia" thing. However, on Connor's end I totally understood it. He never knew Cordelia as a mother figure. She was someone who was in a similar position he was in. They were both sort of lost and out of place, and neither of them trusted the group of people claiming to be their allies. I also think Connor sort of needs something to do or he goes a little sideways. He needs a thing to kill, a task to complete, or someone to protect. Cordelia was a purpose he could cling to, and cling he sure as shit did. However, this is another one I think was blasphemy and never should have happened. It was outright character assassination for both of them.

That's about all the steam I have. If I think of anymore ships I'll do another entry. In the meantime, please comment, discuss, or message if you feel the need.

#angel the series #buffy the vampire slayer #ship discussion #bangel #willoz #tillow #spuffy #i'm running out of ship tags but you get the idea

95 notes · View notes

thedesperatehousehusband · 6 years

Text

Being a Handmaid Ain’t Easy

Hello Friends and Neighbors. The Desperate Househusband has been on a break for a bit. Not on purpose just because we’ve been busy. And I also decided that I had a topic I wanted to write about but not until we finish the source material.

I anticipate this post will bother some people. So be it. It’s fine. It happens.

Juan and I have spent the last month watching The Handmaid’s Tale. We decided to go ahead and sign up for Hulu. But the hope was we could whiz through both seasons during the 30-day trial offer period. We almost made it. It’s OK though. This show is worth $7.99 or whatever Hulu costs for a month. We’ve already cancelled the service because the last thing we need is another way to watch TV. But I digress….

I’ve wanted to watch The Handmaid’s Tale for a while. Both seasons received terrific reviews and a slew of Golden Globes and Emmys awards and nominations for the next cycle. Typically, we like to stay abreast of the hot shows especially if they are also award winners. So here’s my take. It’s incredible. It’s very well acted. Elisabeth Moss is amaze-balls. She’s reason enough to watch even though I hate that she’s a Scientologist. But the point here is be accepting of everyone so that’s what I’m going to be of Elisabeth Moss. Samira Wiley, Joseph Fiennes, Ann Dowd, Alexis Bledel, Yvonne Strahovski and Max Minghella are all awesome. I love the woman who plays Janine and the woman who plays Rita. I did not trust Eden. At all. Then shit got real for her. But she gave a good performance.

The general gist is that something has gone on with birthrate and there are very few babies being born and then living. So some sort of whack-a-doo group of crazy puritanical mother fuckers create a coup. And take over the government. Soon woman are not allowed to have jobs, bank accounts and ultimately not even allowed to read. Women known to be fertile become “handmaid’s” where they are raped by their owners. Because when in Gilead a handmaid is owned. You are no longer June. You are Offred. Meaning you are The Handmaid of Fred Waterford. So, so, so fucked up. There’s a whole structure and system of maids called Martha’s and the Aunt’s who somehow have a bit of power but they are the only women who sort of have jobs. Then there are the wives who become the mothers of the babies after they are weaned from the handmaids. I mean……..

I hate Fred Waterford. Which is painful because it’s hard to hate Joseph Fiennes. But in this instance it’s easy as fuck. Because Fred Waterford is the devil. Like the demonic spawn of Satan even though he truly, truly believes he’s following God’s word. I can’t. Serena Joy is his wife. She is basically bipolar. She has moments of kindness then moments of pure evil. I want to love Aunt Lydia but I just can’t. She believe the shit that she says. Moira is an awesome character. So is Emily. Janine pisses me off sometimes but she still has this innate positivity even though she is a baby factory who is raped monthly. Bless her heart. Nick Blaine is a fantastic character though I would really like to get into his background.

There’s resistance. There’s people who are hung on walls to die. There’s an underground movement to get June out. There’s a lot of suffering. There’s a lot of oppression. Gilead does not really excel with tourism or even basic human rights. Who would want to go there? This is the place where they refer to gay people as “gender traitors”. Oh. My. God.

It’s a damn good show. I’m very glad we watched particularly as the Emmy’s are in about a month. It is also the most anxiety-inducing show I have ever watched. This is part where some people might get upset…….I feel like we’re one fucked up election and supreme court justice away from Gilead potentially becoming real.

Theocracy doesn’t seem out of the question. This has always been a country where God and Jesus are a big deal. I mean the whole fucking country was formed by Puritans who thought the Church of England had gone all loosey goosey. Mike Pence is a theocrat. As governor of Indiana he went out of his way to enact legislation that discriminates against gays and women’s reproductive rights all in the name of religion. So basically he’s Fred Waterford…..

When June and Luke are trying to escape to Canada they are ultimately caught. June is running through the woods with Hannah. When they are apprehended, Hannah is taking away from her mother. Hmmmmm……let’s see. It feels like we just did that to 1,000 kids at the border.

But don’t let the bastards grind you down. Nevertheless she persists. That’s the message that you actually have to take away. Complacency is not allowed. Forwarding articles from the Huffington Post to your Facebook feed is fine. But voting is better. Supporting candidates is better. Being indignant and self-righteous is fine. But voting is better. Being involved in your community is better. Help those less fortunate. Help those in need. Don’t let dumbasses be the loudest voices. Racism, bigotry are not American values. Even though we have a pretty shitty history on both fronts. Even today.

Of course, I need to take my own advice as well. I vote. I donate. But I could do more. If you see something, say something. That’s the rule at the airport but it’s also the rule in life.

In closing, I need to remember that Gilead is not real. Even though it feels really fucking real. I suppose that’s one of the reasons the show has become popular. Margaret Atwood was oddly prescient in 1985 when she wrote the book. I don’t think she expected to be. But let’s keep fiction fiction. Praise be.

0 notes

inlinenewsstory · 6 years

Link

https://ift.tt/2rz7AGp post was originally published on this site

Ben Kothe / BuzzFeed News; Getty Images; ABC

Writers who worked on the original Roseanne series say they’re struggling to reconcile the brash and bold character they spent years writing for with the new conservative, Trump-loving iteration.

“A lot of people involved in the show were surprised when she turned right-wing and supported Trump because that was just not the person or her character that we had known,” said TV writer Stan Zimmerman, who worked on Roseanne for two seasons.

Across nine seasons between 1988 and 1997, these writers worked to put words in the mouth of actor Roseanne Barr, supplying her with both zingers and warmth through their deep understanding of the titular character.

But four writers who spoke to BuzzFeed News said the 2018 version of the character Roseanne Conner — an avowed Trump supporter who fought with her pussyhat–wearing sister and is prejudiced against her Muslim neighbors — is unrecognizable to them.

“I don’t recognize that character,” said one writer, who asked to remain anonymous because they still work in the industry and feared professional repercussions. “I believe the original character would’ve said, ‘Who cares [about having Muslim neighbors]?’ And now she’s saying she does care.”

“I don’t think that Roseanne Conner would’ve voted for Donald Trump,” said Miriam Trogdon, who worked on the show for two seasons. “I don’t think that she would’ve, but apparently she did.”

“I don’t think that Roseanne Conner would’ve voted for Donald Trump.”

Having worked on the original series and become attuned to characters like Dan (John Goodman), Jackie (Laurie Metcalf), Darlene (Sara Gilbert), Becky (Alicia Goranson), D.J. (Michael Fishman), and, of course, Roseanne, the writers said some details in the Roseanne revival don’t make a lot of sense to them.

“The pilot was overtly political and the old show was not that way,” said Trogdon, who worked on the show for two seasons.

Trogdon said the main character’s justification for voting for Trump because he “talked about jobs” did seem like something Conner might have been drawn to. “But the original Roseanne, I think, would have been more upset at his attitude toward women and his misogyny,” Trogdon said. “I think that the original Roseanne would’ve questioned how a super-rich guy like this would have any sense of what a lower-middle-class family like the Conners were going through. She would at least question it, but they don’t dwell on that. They picked an aspect of what Trump was saying that would fit into the original Roseanne character.”

“I think that the original Roseanne would’ve questioned how a super-rich guy like this would have any sense of what a lower-middle-class family like the Conners were going through.”

Zimmerman, too, said he believed the character’s new politics have been brushed over.

“I read an article in the New York Times talking to Roseanne,” said Zimmerman, “and when they brought up, ‘Oh, but Roseanne Conner would be so union and Trump is very non-union,’ she was like, ‘I don’t wanna talk about it.’ So things like that are worrisome because I want her character to stand up for the underdog, but for some reason she has bought into this Trumpian way of looking at things.”

A spokesperson for ABC, which airs the show, declined to comment for this story, but noted some original writers now work on the revival. Representatives for Barr did not respond to requests for comment.

Roseanne Barr and John Goodman in 1989.

Lynn Goldsmith / Getty Images

Zimmerman specifically pointed to two plot points in the original series that he said showed the character’s softer, liberal leanings: In “The Driver’s Seat” (Season 6, Episode 11), the show addressed how Roseanne was abused by her father growing up and she felt guilty about spanking D.J. because she wanted the break the cycle of abuse. But in the revival, Roseanne condones spanking as a form of punishment.

Additionally, in “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (Season 6, Episode 18) Roseanne visits a gay bar and is kissed by another woman, a rarity for 1990s network TV. “Roseanne was supposedly so liberal, socially anyway. And this really challenged her thoughts,” said Zimmerman.

A lot has changed about Barr since her show first aired. Most notably, the star has taken a sharp turn to the right. Not only has she been unapologetically outspoken about her support for President Trump and his policies, she has also been known to tweet radical conspiracy theories that Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi is a reptile and criminal, or that Hillary Clinton and other Democrat officials secretly operated a worldwide sex-trafficking and pedophilia ring. As recently as March 27, the same day the Roseanne revival premiered, Barr accused Parkland shooting survivor David Hogg of performing a Nazi salute in a since-deleted tweet.

Lois Bromfield, who worked on the show for four seasons, told BuzzFeed News she thought it was a hoax when she first heard about Barr’s recent politics. “It bothers me. There are times when I go, ‘What the fuck?’”

“I don’t know her that way. I know her as a really open, liberal person,” said Bromfield. “I don’t know what the deal is with [her current politics]. I don’t quite get it. I guess something changed in her life or maybe I just didn’t know her that well.”

“Roseanne is a really big supporter of women and human rights and animal rights,” Bromfield said. “Roseanne is not a bigot, she’s not a backward person at all, so her liking Trump is just so odd. It comes out of left field.”

The anonymous writer said Barr was “allowed to like Trump” but described her as “a conspiracy theorist in the Alex Jones tradition.”

The writer blasted ABC for giving the controversial Barr a show but refusing to air an episode of Black-ish that explored the topic of NFL players who kneel during the national anthem.

“That was too political for them and then they’ve got Roseanne spewing her love of Donald Trump on the show, and the real Roseanne spewing conspiracy theories about Hillary Clinton and Pizzagate,” the writer said. “I don’t know why they’re giving this woman a platform.”

Roseanne Barr hugs her co-star Sara Gilbert during the 1997 series finale.

Chris Pizzello / ASSOCIATED PRESS

The former Roseanne writers said they worry Barr’s personal politics have now overshadowed those of her character’s, particularly as she became famous for playing a character named and modeled after her.

“It is sometimes hard to divorce Roseanne Barr from Roseanne Conner,” Zimmerman said.

Trogdon said she believes audiences should never be privy to an actor’s personal politics. “A character should be who the character is and not who the actor is in real life,” she said.

She said Barr is responsible for the politicization of her character.

“Who she is as a human being, I don’t think it should become an issue, but [Barr] makes it an issue by tweeting and standing out like that. That’s a choice on her part.”

“I would have difficulty if I were on the show,” Trogdon said. “I would wish that she wouldn’t tweet so that didn’t become something that was played into the show.”

In the lead-up to the revival’s premiere, the show’s marketing was Trump-heavy as media stories and reviews zeroed in on the “ambivalent Trump-era politics.”

This made the former Roseanne writers nervous about what had become of their beloved characters.

“I came in holding my breath thinking, What am I in store for?” Zimmerman said. “I was pleasantly surprised watching. The first episodes were so smart and witty.”

Trogdon also praised the new writers for capturing the tone and humor of the old seasons, but added she believes the show was better once it got politics “out of the way.”

“It reminds me of when you first get on Facebook and you think, I wonder whatever happened to so and so, and you look ’em up and find out they had two kids.”

“It reminds me of when you first get on Facebook and you think, I wonder whatever happened to so and so, and you look ’em up and find out they had two kids,” she said. “It’s like catching up with people you were really good friends with at one time, and that’s how this sort of feels to me.”

Bromfield said she, too, was hesitant to watch the revival because of Barr’s politics, but she also ended up enjoying the first few episodes of the sitcom.

“I really didn’t want to love it. I wanted to be pissed off because I know she supports Trump,” Bromfield said. “But I have to tell you, I just got suckered right in. It’s really good.”

But, Bromfield added, “I’m just watching it from an artistic point of view, and when something comes up on the show that’s really volatile and turns me off, then I guess I’ll get turned off.”

Roseanne meets her Muslim neighbors.

Adam Rose / ABC

The series has also been a huge hit with viewers, achieving monster ratings. Its March 27 premiere drew an astonishing 18.2 million viewers and the following episode, which aired consecutively, grew to 18.6 million. These were the highest ratings for any comedy on any network since September 2014. Only three days after Season 10 premiered, ABC renewed Roseanne for an 11th season.

“Look at her ratings! Look at her ratings!” President Trump told a rally in Ohio two days later. “They were unbelievable. Over 18 million people — and it was about us.”

Trump, who is known to obsess over ratings, personally called Barr to congratulate her. “It was about the most exciting thing ever, and it was just very sweet of him to congratulate us,” Barr told Good Morning America.

“I think in probably every household in America, this is probably what’s going on.”

Bromfield said the changing Conner family is perhaps simply reflective of a changing country, which is what might explain the show being such a hit.

“I think in probably every household in America, this is probably what’s going on,” Bromfield said of the political tensions in the Conner family. “There’s such conflict between Trump supporters and people who are not supporting him. I think it fits beautifully into the show.”

Zimmerman credited the show with having a “knack of touching a nerve with America.”

“There’s raw honesty in those characters and families and how they fight,” he said. “But at the end of the day, you knew they still loved each other.”

LINK: Here’s What Makes The “Roseanne” Reboot Work

LINK: The “Roseanne” Revival’s Shockingly High Ratings

#IFTTT #WordPress

0 notes

celticnoise · 6 years

Link

Last year, shortly after the UK had voted to leave the European Union, I saw a clip on YouTube of a crazy Englishman on an American TV show telling his audience and the nation what the British had done. It was hilariously brilliant.

It distilled a matter of enormous complexity to something the average American could understand.

That was my first introduction to John Oliver. Honestly, if you’re not already a fan you need to get watching this guy. YouTube is full of his stuff. If Brexit isn’t to your taste, try his segments on the World Cup, where he lays into FIFA for their corruption.

You will be pissing yourself.

He is a huge football supporter – a Liverpool fan – and his show Last Week Tonight is a monster hit over there, particularly for his constant baiting of Trump.

John Oliver is a funny guy, but his show also has a serious purpose.

He covers a lot of social and political issues – he picks one every week and goes into exhaustive detail on it, but in a way that is informative and hilarious; the audience never flags – and the US right takes him very seriously. He goes after them with real ferocity, and is tenacious and brave and not afraid of a fight.

During the last season he was threatened with legal action by a coal mining magnate; he basically dissed the cease and desist letter whilst on the air and basically pulverised the guy’s reputation.

The show is on hiatus right now, but last week Oliver proved that he was the Real Deal when he was a guest at a commemoration of a movie; it was the 20th anniversary for Wag The Dog, a brilliant satire on US politics, where an American President, caught in a scandal, uses a big-time Hollywood producer to fake a war against Albanian and distract the people long enough for him to get himself re-elected. It’s a sharp movie, bitterly funny and prescient.

Oliver was there to talk about the cultural impact of the film and the way it echoes down into the modern world of “fake news” and political lying. Appearing opposite him was Dustin Hoffman, one of the stars of the movie. Hoffman is mired in his own current controversy; over the way he has treated women through the years. He’s caught, in other words, in the fallout of the Harvey Weinstein revelations … with his pants down, as it were.

Hoffman had released a statement on the matter, essentially denying everything but offering up an alibi about how he has learned his lessons from past mistakes. Nobody seemed to want to bring the matter up. No-one except John Oliver, who took the opportunity to thoroughly grill him over it. There is video of it, which is quite extraordinary.

At one point, Hoffman offers up a feeble excuse that even if he was guilty, that behaviour “is not reflective of who I am.” Oliver is plainly disgusted with that line of defence.

“It’s that part of the response to this stuff that pisses me off,” Oliver said. “It is reflective of who you were. You’ve given no evidence to show that it didn’t happen. There was a period of time when you were creeping around women. It feels like a cop-out to say, ‘Well, this isn’t me.’ Do you understand how that feels like a dismissal?”

It is a superb moment, one where one of these powerful Hollywood men is pinned against the wall, his own words turned against him by a sharp and brilliant mind, but more … a fearless interrogator who refuses to be cowed by either the man or the moment.

Oliver later admitted that he could have kept silent, ever conscious that it might not be the right time to raise these issues and that the audience might not like it (around half of them didn’t, the other half was ecstatic, including, I’d guess, all the women in the room).

Later on, he spoke about why he had done it. “I can’t leave certain things unaddressed,” he said. “The easy way is not to bring anything up. Unfortunately, that leaves me at home later at night hating myself. ‘Why didn’t I say something?’”

That’s a journalist talking. A real journalist.

At around the same time as this was going on, a Scottish sports journo attempted to defend their obvious shilling for Sevco on the McInnes issue by saying “when a journalist is presented with a story like this we have to write it.” You could almost get behind the sentiment, except that none of them are journalists and none were being presented with a story … they were being spoon fed spin and PR guff, to unsettle another club’s manager and they presented that stuff knowing full well that they were being used and for what purpose.

That is not journalism. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

I am sick of these people masquerading under that title.

Last night, Tom English, of the spineless BBC Scotland Sports team, decided to throw his two-bob into the debate over Chris Froome failing a drug test. Cycling is not a sport English or the team he works on covers or ever has. Froome is not someone he’ll be bumping into any time soon, so it was perfectly easy for him to take shots at a guy he doesn’t know, who’s circumstances he doesn’t fully understand, about a subject he knows the sum total of nil about except what he read in reports elsewhere.

He lauded the journalism of The Guardian journalists who broke the story; hey, we all do. Some of us can recognise good work when we see it. There is a difference between recognising great journalism and being able to do it, and English personifies that beautifully. He is restricted to fawning over those in his profession who have done big things because he is wholly incapable of doing some of his own. That would be too much like real work.

On top of that, he might have to offend people who he might see around on a regular basis. That would never do. It would require something beyond skill, which he hasn’t got. It would require a backbone. It would require courage. He doesn’t have that either.

Real journalists do real work when there’s work to be done. English and his people have spent years now hiding away from that concept. This week Fans for a Judicial Review broke the news that they’ll be unable to take a case to court challenging the SFA on their failure to set up an inquiry; I haven’t commented on this before but let me say only that the news comes as no surprise to me, and that there were other paths that could have been followed and still might be. But that will depend on the clubs, one in particular, getting its act together.

I expected no sympathy from the media, who stood back and sneered whilst ordinary supporters were putting their backs to the wheel. I expect nothing from them except their continuing contempt for the paying customers, those who keep the game alive. When the SFA was taking its decision I know for a fact they canvassed the media to see what the response in the press would be and when they found out there would be none that’s when they went ahead.

The media has played a full role in wrecking sporting integrity.

It is astounding that English believes he is in a moral position to comment on another sport’s.

He recognises cheating, it seems, only when it’s not in the game he actually covers, in the actual country where he does it.

His regard for journalists who do get it and who know what the job is supposed to involve isn’t the reflection on he and his colleagues he seems to think it is … it shows them up for the worthless worms they are, wholly unwilling or incapable to ascend that plane themselves.

Was there but one of them with the balls and the desire for truth of someone like John Oliver, guys like King wouldn’t be able to talk the worst kind of nonsense to hand-picked toadies without fear of having his words ripped apart. Fans would never have had to contemplate handing over their own money to lawyers to pursue the just settlement their clubs could not be bothered with. Instead of supporting those guys and praising them English and his ilk disparage us.

That’s what our sports media is. A shower of cowardly charlatans whose contempt for the fans is more than mirrored in our contempt for them. These people believe that a press card elevates them above the rest of us, when in fact the card itself means nothing if all it means to you is a free pass into sports events and a cheap round at the bar.

They also think it entitles them to live off the glory of those who take it more seriously than they do, as if they are part of a brotherhood; but there are many types of “journalist” out there and calling a horse a fish won’t make it swim underwater. The press card becomes nothing but a backstage pass. The job title is nothing but camouflage for a wasted professional life.

Last night, English was trying to bask in the reflected light of somebody else’s work, claiming for himself the mantle of the guys who went out and got that story. When was the last real story he broke, one that wasn’t handed to him on a PR plate?

What body of work do he and his colleagues leave behind them when they retire?

Their legacy will be a shattered industry living in the shadows of the bloggers, tainted by the mess they left behind and the sport who’s integrity they helped to destroy.

http://ift.tt/2ksLTUi

#CelticNoise #Celtic #CelticFC #TheCelticBlog #News

0 notes