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#this is very dense i'm sorry
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As with any exotic pet, discourse is rife in the parrot-keeping fandom. Two main branches of discourse are wing-clipping and outdoor free-flight. Oh and also cage tops weirdly, but that's a more minor discourse.
Wing clipping is the practice of trimming a birds primary flight feathers to make flying more difficult. I myself would not clip the wings of any parrots I own, and that viewpoint will probably add bias to my explaination. It is a topic of discourse because some people view it as unnecessary and restrictive of the natural ability of parrots to fly, and because a lot of the time it doesn't do what people who do clip their birds say it does. Wing-clipping doesn't stop a bird from flying, it just makes gaining altitude and flying for extended periods of time more difficult, which discourages a bird from flying. Some people say it stops a bird from flying away, but clipped birds can absolutely still fly away if spooked. Clipped birds just fly worse and being clipped lowers their chance of survival if they do fly away. The best precaution is obviously to make it so that your parrot doesn't have a chance of escaping in the first place, either through open windows or open doors. Wing-clipping should not be relied on to stop a parrot from flying away.
Outdoor free-flight is a topic of discourse because a lot of people (understandably) do not want their parrot to be let out to fly outside, usually due to predators or the fear they will not come back. People who free-flight train their parrots usually do so because wild parrots fly over 30km a day for food, and parrots in captivity rarely fly more than 100m a day. It gives parrots proper exercise that they would not otherwise be able to get. Free-flight training is only really recommended for medium-large birds and bigger (think an eclectus and bigger), because their risk of predation is lower due to their size and they tend to be stronger flyers. People who do free-flight train their birds do sometimes act superior because they're fulfilling a parrots natural skill, and people who don't free-flight train their birds can get defensive about not wanting to because they don't want to put their pet at that risk. My own view is fairly nuanced and would take several paragraphs of explaination. Here's a video of free-flighted parrots if anyone is interested.
And cage top discourse is weirdly a thing that exists. I don't really feel like elaborating, but I will if anyone is interested.
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nostalgicfun · 17 hours
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The Treasure Boxes are now revealed and on eBay! :) Now you can see what you're getting! 🌈
Storytime Box | Circus Box | Kawaii Box | Dino & Reptile Box
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alicenpai · 2 years
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all of my paindora hurts buttons for 2022! ⏳ in my store! 🐇 for these ph buttons, I decided on a unifying theme - if you’ve read the series, you know who the bunny plush represents. each character holds the plush differently, and in turns reflects how they would have treated that represented character. under the cut: more photos of ph merch below! + some spoilery concepts I had while designing these
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❗ ❗ ❗  SPOILER START  ❗ ❗ ❗ - oz: self-love. what makes his character interesting, compared to other generic shallow jovial anime protags (sorry LOL), is his exuberant exterior juxtaposed with the neglect he’s faced, causing his self sacrificial morals. “if everyone else is safe then it doesn’t matter if i am hurt”. this drawing represents the self-acceptance that he learned through the journey of the series. - alice: “this is my servant!” for me, alice’s childish notions about possession and servitude eventually grew into a sense of devotion and loyalty to her loved ones. (the entirety of volume 19... around Retrace LXXVI / 76. makes me cry so hard) - gil: gil treasures oz above all. gil is oz’s knight, like the comparison of the characters edwin (master) and edgar (valet) in the in-universe series “holy knight”. i also saw someone reblog this saying “gil is holding the oz bunny over his scar/heart” and i totally didn’t think of that at all but it works so well, thank you for that 😳👍 - elliot: kind of also oz’s knight. i can imagine here he would have said “get behind me!”. not anything important but i really like how the hand turned out in this one - leo: i planned the lighting so that he’s both in the light and in the shadow. tormented by both his duty and his morals
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ultravioart · 1 year
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Since Hater is all mega fanboy over evil Major Threat, I got to thinking that maybe that's what Hater assumes Peepers thinks of him. Like... beyond the aspect of how Peepers pushes Hater to be a villain, Hater might genuinely think Peepers only is his #1 fan because Hater is an evil superstar? Like maybe Hater thinks Peepers would ditch him if Hater ever went soft? Maybe that's some kind of internal conflict for him since Peepers is the one guy that has stuck around through thick and thin--Peepers is his little buddy but Hater could never SAY that out loud. Because he's got an apathetic evil bad boy reputation to uphold!
And so yeah, Hater likes the ego boost "fanboy" Peepers gives--but Hater wants EVERYONE to think of him like 'that': Hater wants people to think of him like Hater thinks of Major Threat: Big and strong and cool space wizard powers and scary and epic... and he assumes that's how Peepers sees him.
Just imagining Hater finally realizing that Peepers is his #1 fan NO MATTER what Hater does though? Oh my grob. Dude. The butterflies, the stunned "Oh," and the voice cracking "--rEaLLY?" --Peepers revealing he actually... like likes him?!?! Wuh??! Since when-since forever.
Peepers better not be joshing.
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trashcanwithsprinkles · 2 months
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Do you have any Zhongli/Zhongchi fic recs? I haven’t found any that are nearly as good as yours 😔😔
funnily enough someone already asked this, but it was quite a while ago and tumblr is a mess to search old shit thru so here, this is the post this was asked during the ao3 crisis of- .......last year? i can't remember. either way, the post starts w me saying i don't have all the names and links but dw, after ao3 came back up i edited the post so you should see all authors and links in the recs.
i have to admit that for reasons unrelated to the fandom i haven't been reading many zhongchi fics as of late? so like- bear in mind i don't have an updated mental picture of any of the recs after the post was made. so if one went off the rails or if one of the WIPs finished, i'm not aware;; i also mention in the post that i'd add more recs if i had access to ao3 (which i didn't at the time bc it was down), and while that is true, it's been so long since i read any of them that i wouldn't be able to confidently reccomend them outside of 'i somewhat remember the plot and i remember liking it'. also i don't remember half of their names. so uh- yeah that's the list i think
#also there are plenty of fics that i'd have loved to recomend but that ended up either going off the rails towards the end or that just-#left me disappointed#complete tanget but what is it with people making holy angst and then completely missing the point of said angst#as in#the resolution they give to the angst is sometimes more infuriating than anything#like by that point i'm rooting to have no resolution LMAO#which is why angst resolution is always like my n°1 concern in my fics#last thing i want is for the angst to be super good and then for the resolution to leave y'all like-#that's it?#not in the sense of payoff for the angst#but in the way the issues brought up by the angst get handled#i don't want to point fingers obviously i'm not that much of an asshole#but i vividly remember a fic that set up childe being bullied horribly by a bunch of adults for something that was outside of his control#and that he couldn't have possibly known#and so he just flees bc i mean poor guy i'd flee as well. plus they backed him into a corner with no other way out#like- think public proposal except childe didn't even know he was dating zhongli. and when he was confused about it#all the onlookers started berating him for being stupid#which like- it's one thing being dense. and it's another thing being unable to communicate w eachother (this was zl's fault)#anyway. so he flees. the resolution to the angst is him getting dragged (against his will) back to liyue and zhongli just saying#sorry i forgot to say i loved you please never leave idk what i'd do without you#and like off-camera he did almost kill the 'onlookers' that bullied childe#but like#that's it#there's no further apologies from everyone; childe retains no issues from a highly traumatic event (it was portrayed that way);#everything is solved by zl saying actually i love you if you leave i'm gonna be depressed forever#like????????????????????????#obviously i'm being very vague about it#that's not exactly how it goes in the fic#don't want to throw hate at it the rest of it was really good#it just left me with a growing dread of 'this isn't going to be handled well by the author isn't it' as it went on
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simmonsized · 1 year
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What does distilled sea water taste like
aww man you had to ask the most difficult question huh
i feel like, maybe it's not the same for everyone
and maybe it's different if you are not on a boat, or on a boat that is not the boat i was on, but like
to me it
okay to start, the thing with the water, right, is that all our fresh water came from the ocean. like it was not hauled on board, there was no fresh water to start, it is all pulled up and boiled and then that water vapor is put into the tank and used for showers, sinks, toilets, and, obviously, drinking and cooking etc
right so it's just plain H2O, no electrolytes, no fluoride, no whatever the fuck right it's just. water molecules lol
but it's water that came from the ocean right so like
it tastes like water, at first (if u have ever ingested clean river water i would say even that might give u an idea), but there is an aftertaste that's like
the way that standing on a beach in the northern pacific smells. cannot be clearer than that, i'm afraid.
there's like, eau de seaweed but no but yes but no
drinking water when i got back was very strange and i am now hyper aware of how all water tastes (and i was already a picky water drinker so this is a problem lol) and sometimes i miss it. it's weird.
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dgalerab · 2 years
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... so maybe one reason why i haven't been getting a lot of notes on my art is that i was hidden from search results so i wasn't showing up in any fandom tags
the more you know
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pridewon · 2 years
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@divinasolis​ said:  tooru leans against the counter, arms crossed, eyes constantly glaring up at the edges of his bangs he can glimpse at. a finger moves up to weave through it, then another, followed by a thumb, a ring finger, until his whole hand is fussing with his hair, unsettling the brown streaks that adorn it. “you know,” he begins, slow, careful. he shoots a look to the side, sees wakatoshi distracted with cooking. tooru fights off a frown with a dainty pursing of his lips. “my hair is so soft today.” it isn’t a lie, it isn’t direct; it is the perfect introduction to the blaring topic that demands to be mentioned, that requires attention, compliments, some sort of acknowledgement - he did cut off two centimeters after all. wakatoshi is bound to notice! isn’t he?
Wakatoshi is bound to notice. ... eventually. Except... ... Wakatoshi is not good at multitasking.
It is an unfortunate truth that multitasking in itself is a myth. People are just more or less good at rapidly switching between tasks, and Ushijima... may be a bit slower than most in that process. To his credit, he likes to dedicate his full attention to whatever is the task at hand, to whatever requires his immediate and undivided focus, but somehow? Outside of the volleyball court, he has been told (repeatedly) (by multiple sources) (present company included) that he sometimes comes across as aloof and detached as a result. 
Wakatoshi doesn’t mean to completely miss on the subtle signals Tooru is sending him, nor does he mean to ignore the change after a trip to the hairdresser...
... but he is cooking. Cooking requires his full attention to avoid injuries and burnt vegetables, and so -- he listens, distracted from the recipe’s instructions, but only looks at his partner with one or too beats of delay, and a puzzled look on aquiline features. “? ... is that so?” 
... Tooru stares at him, expectantly (expecting what, Wakatoshi doesn’t know), for a second, two, five... and huffs and pouts without further explanation.
???
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Tooru doesn’t add anything, and Ushijima gathers that he may have missed something here - but if Tooru doesn’t press the issue further, than it must mean it’s probably fine (it is not fine, as he shall soon find out). “Dinner is almost ready.” He dutifully informs him, turning the fish and vegetables over into the pan. No answer... except a puff and a huff. 
... alright. Now is the time to start formulating concerns. Ushijima has learnt quite a few things about Oikawa Tooru over the years - what he looks like when he sulks is one of them. But why would Tooru sulk? With a perplexed frown digging between brows, Wakatoshi dutifully reviews every bit of conversation they have had since Tooru had come home today, prodding at memory and his own behaviours to try and understand what may have warranted his ire (all while setting up the table, bringing the food into the dining room - gears visibly, audibly churning in his volleyball of a brain). 
Tooru sits at the dinner table, and Wakatoshi, out of habit / affection / way of apology (??) combs his fingers through his hair in passing, and...
Stops.
Something feels different. My hair is so soft today, Tooru had said, and Wakatoshi hadn’t made anything of it because Tooru’s hair is always soft (a blessing to his calloused hands, a weakness he had never expected but embraces every time he kisses him, every time he wakes up on lazy sunday mornings with Tooru in his arms), but... “Your hair is soft.” He comments, as if stumbling accidentally upon some unexpected truth. Softer than usual, he should say - something is different and...
Finally, he notices. The way Tooru’s handsome face is framed ever so slightly differently, the way his fingers have slightly less length to comb through. It only took him thirty minutes to take note of what Tooru had been hinting at. “Oh. Did you get a haircut?” Finally!! Tooru’s face and eyes sceam in unison. Oops. His mistake. Carefully (decisively), Wakatoshi frames Tooru’s face between his hands to take a better look, olive eyes scanning for the change, taking each and every chance to appreciate the dear visage offered to him (... even pouty). “It looks good on you.” He offers as definitive conclusion - honest and frank, never one to offer undeserved compliments even to apologise. “I think almost anything would look good on you, but - I like it.” Honest and blunt truth only; punctuated by a kiss on his forehead - there is the apology. Maybe next time it will only take him ten minutes. 
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flight-freedom · 20 days
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Me: Gee, I should really be in bed or doing something productive but I lack the motivation, to do either..
Unfortunately Also Me: guess it's time open innumerable tabs of Wikipedia pages about an obscure topic:
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whimsyvixen · 11 months
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𝔼𝕞𝕡𝕥𝕪 𝔹𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕤
Silent Hill Fic Rating: 18+ Pairing: Pyramid Head x Female Reader Synopsis/Excerpt: His helmet had jerked your way, the sudden movement making your heart drop to your stomach. You couldn't look away from him, mouth agape at the towering menace. You didn't understand how, but you felt him peruse your form--nausea hitting you when he let out a guttural growl and headed straight for you. WARNINGS/TAGS: Dark fic, rape/noncon elements, extremely dubious consent, explicit content, blood play, heavy NSFW, teratophilia(?), monster/human, choking, dacryphilia, rough sex, unprotected sex, forced orgasm, tummy bulge, creampie, very obvious size difference. ⚠️ READ THE TAGS: Please be aware this work contains content that the reader may feel uncomfortable with or otherwise triggered by. DO NOT READ if bothered by tags (no minors). ⚠️
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A/N: I had to make sure to finish this one before Halloween! Sorry for the long wait, you guys! I got no tricks with me so I'm just going to hand over this little treat right here ! 🍬
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You hid beneath a large table, hands over your mouth to control your breathing as the floor shook. You could feel your heart beating intensely, the organ wanting to burst out of your chest as pure terror seized you when the footsteps paused near your hiding spot.
He was right in front of you. The only being you encountered in the desolate town of Silent Hill.
The monster. 
~
He had emerged out of an alley, swarmed by bugs as he trudged his way through, his massive frame freezing you in place. His head was encumbered by a steel frame, pyramid in its shape and heavy in appearance if his tortured groans were anything to go by. His scarred torso and bulging arms were bare, showcasing the immense power he held as he dragged a massive knife behind him.
You couldn't contain your gasp when you caught sight of it.
His helmet had jerked your way, the sudden movement making your heart drop to your stomach. You couldn't look away from him, mouth agape at the towering menace. You didn't understand how, but you felt him peruse your form--nausea hitting you when he let out a guttural growl and headed straight for you.
Fuck!
You bolted then, nearly tripping over your own feet in your desperation to get away from him. With the amount of blood soaking him and those unnerving growls, you weren't willing to take a chance and find out what he would do to you. Too afraid to look back, you continued running in the abandoned town, losing sight of where you were as you tried to find somewhere to hide. 
What buildings you could make out were old and rundown, their windows smashed and doors creaking ominously. They would not provide you with the cover you needed. You could faintly hear him behind you, breaking into a cold sweat when you turned your head and couldn't spot him in the dense fog. 
When you caught sight of the abandoned school, your lungs felt like bursting and your legs ached from overexerting yourself to run. Your body needed to rest before you collapsed from the fatigue. It was a large enough building that finding you would be a tasking ordeal for the monster. Perhaps he would give up his search for you and allow you to find a way out of this hellish place. You could only hope that you lost him earlier and he wouldn’t know where you crawled off to. 
Running up the steps to the entrance, you were met with the despairing sight of chains wrapped around the steel doors. 
“No, no, no…” you pleaded, grabbing onto the chains in hopes they were loose enough to open the doors. Luck was on your side, because they were– chains pulling taut around the doors, opening just enough to allow someone to squeeze through with some difficulty. Struggling to wiggle your way through, you pushed with all your might and breathed a sigh of relief when you fell inside. 
Taking deep breaths, you looked around and tried to make sense of your surroundings. Needing to squint your eyes to adjust seeing in the dark, you could see a narrow hallway with dirty and rusty lockers lined along the walls. It was an uncanny sight, the broken down doors of the classrooms and splintering wood of the floor making you realize how decrepit this place was. It was so unkempt and old that you flinched when the floorboards creaked with every step you took. You felt like dying every time the floor protested your weight and critters ran spooked by the noise.
The hall turned a sharp corner to the left, more lockers and doors appearing on either side of the walls as before. It was then you noticed the broken elevator, the metal frame twisted in sharp angles and torn cables dangling from tears in the ceiling. If there was an elevator here, then that must mean there was a way up! 
Not caring this time about the noise you made, you hurried to the end of the hall trying to see if you could find some way to get to the second floor. If you could just get there, you would have the advantage of viewing who (or what) was below you on the ground. Maybe even spot a route or path out of this place. Passing by the restrooms, you nearly gagged when a putrid stench hit your nose. The buzzing of flies and roaches in the area made you squeamish, your face scrunching into a disgusted grimace at the dirty facilities before continuing your trek forward.
Finding the stairs was a much harder task than you expected. Faced with multiple locked areas of the building, you were forced to backtrack and navigate through other sections of the building to find another way up. It seemed like a dead end everywhere you turned. 
Just when you were about to give up, you finally spotted stairs leading to the upper floor. 
“Finally,” you muttered in exasperation. Your turtle neck shirt was damp with your sweat, clinging to your body so uncomfortably that you would definitely need a shower soon. Placing a hand on the cracked wall nearest you, you took a breather, closing your eyes as you tried to get your energy back up again. 
“Just a little bit more. Don’t give up yet.” 
Forcing your aching feet to move, you headed tiredly towards the stairs. Once you reached them, you walked up to the landing, turning left to continue climbing forward when you noticed something. 
“You have got to be kidding me?!”
A disbelieving look crossed your face. In front of you was a dilemma that nearly made you scream in frustration. The only way to the upper floor was barricaded with chairs and tables, furniture piled up haphazardly along the second set of stairs as if to ensure no one could get by it. It effectively put a stop to your plans. 
Maybe you could climb over the obstruction? No, you couldn’t risk something falling out of place and crushing you with its weight, causing you harm in the end. You thought about using the railing to skip past the hurdle of furniture, but hearing the creak of the brittle handrail when you held it had you rethinking that idea. Placing your hands on your hips, you tried thinking of how to get past this obstacle. Maybe taking it apart little by little would help?
Seeing as you had no choice, you started dismantling the barricade one chair at a time. The tables were too heavy and had your arms shaking from the effort of pulling them so you left them for last. Once you piled up enough chairs to give you room to move one of the tables, you shook your hands to prepare them to take the brunt of the weight. 
While you were busy with this task, you didn’t know you damned yourself.
What you didn’t know was when you squeezed through the gap of the entrance, your sweater caught on an edge and tore a strip of the pink cloth. You didn’t know it was like a beacon, its vibrant color contrasting from the dull and bleak setting of the school. You didn’t know he held it in his bloodied hand, bringing it to his hidden face as if to smell you. You didn’t see the shudder that went through him. You also didn't see him bursting through the shackled entrance of the school, breaking the chain to pieces as the steel doors lay bent beneath his foot.
However, you did feel the building shake following a loud crash. 
Startled at the muffled explosion, you released the legs of the table you were holding, crouching as you looked around wildly. The echoed sounds of doors being forced open could then be heard even from a distance. Lockers were slammed and torn off the walls, the clash of metal producing an awful screeching sound that resonated across the empty building.
What?! What was that?! You panicked internally, palms sweating as you hid behind the railing. What could’ve made that thunderous sound? Was it him?! It couldn’t be, could it? Trembling with fear, you realized you were a sitting duck. You couldn't go back the way you came or you’ll risk facing what caused that loud commotion.
When you heard a familiar growl, you couldn’t stop the tiny sob escaping your lips. It was HIM! When his steps edged closer to your location, your eyes wandered desperately around your cornered space and spotted a clothed table at the bottom of the stairs. Running down the stairs, you all but crawled beneath the table, tucking your feet in as you tried to make yourself as small as possible. You didn’t have any other option. The cloth provided you with enough cover to pull off not being seen and you could only pray you weren't found.
Eyes wide with fear, you held your breath when he turned the corner, the floor trembling with every heavy step of his boots. You could also hear the scrape of the giant sword he dragged with him, the shrill sound hurting your ears. You nearly bolted when you heard the locker doors being opened one by one before getting slammed shut.
Oh God, please, don't let him find me. Please, please, please. You shut your eyes tightly, clasping your hands against your mouth as you tried to keep as quiet as you could. The corner of your eyes teared up, a lump in your throat wanting to give way to sobs of distress the closer he got.
~
His trudging steps slowed as he surveyed the area. 
Pyramid Head tilted his head curiously, his helmet creaking with the action. He didn’t know where you hid but he could sense you near. When he pressed that piece of fabric to his helmed head, your intoxicating aroma set his nerves of fire, twisting his mind into a lustful haze–the urge to pillage and kill you getting stronger by the minute. 
When he heard that soft gasp earlier in the alley, he was stunned by your feminine form mere meters away from him. You were a small thing compared to him, the top of your head not even reaching his chest. Whatever surprise he felt was momentary, desire quickly flooding his veins as he drank in your lovely shape. How long since a pretty thing like you entered this infernal domain? How easy would it be to subdue you and make you a slave to his lust? What sounds could he coax from those wet lips of yours? His member twitched to life beneath his withered skirt, the thought of possessing you clouding his mind with lascivious images of your naked body beneath him.
When he took a step towards you, you ran like a frightened lamb.
Watching you turn around to flee– the distance growing between you with every passing second– Pyramid Head gripped his weapon tightly, anger consuming him as he followed right after you. 
As if he would allow you to escape him. 
He would take you. Tarnish that soft flesh and desecrate your soul until you were nothing but a bloody heap beneath him. 
He just needed to catch you first. 
Opening the lockers one by one, he couldn’t suppress his frustrated grumbles when you weren’t there. Where were you? He shifted his attention to the familiar clutter of furniture on the staircase, noting how neatly some chairs were piled in a corner–knowing that the times he’s ventured here, the chairs were never tampered in such a way. 
Realizing how close he must be to capturing you, he started up the stairs, dropping his weapon without a care as he tore down the barricade in a frenzy to find you. 
When his search proved fruitless, the veins in his arms and neck became more prominent from his fury. WHERE WERE YOU? Blind with rage, he smashed his fists against the broken furniture and the rotting walls, tearing everything in his wake as he roared loud enough to make his helmet vibrate violently from the sound. It hurt enough to cause him to rupture something and bleed, trails of blood dripping down his neck to mix with the blood of his other victims.
As he stood breathing heavily on the landing of the stairs, trying to shake off the cloud of anger consuming him, a faint creak was heard downstairs. He twisted his body to look behind him, crazily observing the area where he heard it from. 
There was a lone table. The once white cloth adorning it was an ugly shade of brown, time not being kind to as it had torn holes ruining it. He could care less about the useless piece of cloth. What had his undivided attention was the dainty fingers that could be seen poking out beneath it. 
There was a moment of silence before he charged down the stairs. 
Gripping the sides of the table, he flung it across the hall, old wood shattering to pieces when it smacked against the railing of the stairs. He paid little mind to the destruction he created, his focus landing entirely on your meek figure below him. A look of horror crossed your face, mouth open in shock as you stared up at him. A rumble of contentment echoed within his helmet having finally found his prize, quickly dropping down to his knees to grab you and pin you between his legs.
It didn’t take much to overpower you, Pyramid Head sitting on your thighs to lessen your squirming. Bunching the pink fabric in his hands, he tore your sweater apart like paper, your startled scream doing little to deter him. His bloodied hands groped the exposed flesh hungrily, smudging your torso with the red substance as you shrieked in disgust. The way the softness of your tummy gave under his firm hands had him addicted. He loved how weak and pliant your flesh was.
Your mounds were a sight too, spilling off the cups of the small band around your chest. He tore that off easily too, your bust jiggling from the action and making him groan at the sight. Much to his pleasure, he saw your skin pebble with goosebumps, the cool air of the room turning your nipples into tight buds.
His hands moved, thick fingers stroking over your breasts to test the doughy texture. You gasped, arching from the pressure, unknowingly pushing your chest against his palms. Much to your chagrin, the rough pads of his fingers sent a fire bolt careening from your nipples and through your quivering belly to ignite heat into your core. You bit your lip, ignoring the sensation as you tried shoving his hands away with your feeble strength. When he tugged harshly on the tips of your breasts, you let out a pained whine, the kittenish sound sending a shock of pleasure down his spine. He wished to tear you apart, bathe in your essence as he drank up your tortured cries.
He was reluctant to pull his hands away from you, your body smeared in a beautiful canvas of blood, but his need to fully claim you could not be denied.  Pyramid Head removed his hands from your breasts with a final rough squeeze, shifting one to rub his erection to alleviate some of his need, while the other hand trailed down to caress your clothed hip possessively.
He was bewitched by you, reverently stroking your skin with bloodied hands to dirty your purity. Shielding your breasts from his view, you were a vision with your head turned to the side, choking on a sob as you realized that despite how your mind protested his brutish touches, your body betrayed you when slickness dripped between your thighs.
At war with yourself, you didn't pay attention when his attention turned to the last article of clothing preserving your modesty.
Easing up on his weight, he shifted his body down to tug at your black jeans. When the tight fabric stuck around your hips, he grew irritated at the minor inconvenience. Before you could voice out a protest, he roughly flipped you over onto your stomach, shock coursing through you when he tore the denim to shreds at your sides, dragging the rest of it down your legs and taking your panties and shoes with them.
You could feel the heat in your face at the state of your nudity. He caressed your ass then– forcing an undignified yelp from you at the offensive touch– squeezing the globes on either palm, his nails digging into the fat hard enough to leave lasting bruises on your unblemished skin. 
"N-no! You're hurting me!" 
You hissed between your teeth, sharp aches blossoming from where his fingers pressed on your ass. You shivered with disgust when the blood on his hands dirtied your globes, matching it with the mess of your front.
Brushing a calloused finger along your vulva, he was met with the heat of your pussy. It had your body jerking to attention, the blood draining from your face in an instant. When he tried to insert the bloody finger inside you, you shook erratically, your hands scrambling for purchase on the floor to get away from him. 
Tired of your antics, he twisted you to your back, uncaring of the yelp that left you when the back of your head hit the floor with a loud thud. Holding you down with one hand around your neck, he nearly choked you as he began pulling impatiently at the fastenings of his long skirt to jerk himself free with his other. His body shook with excitement, enticed by your naked flesh even as you begged sweetly under him. 
He paid little mind to your frantic scratching on his arm, the pain miniscule when compared to the hard throbbing of his cock— the twitching member pulsating so strongly that it had his mind blazing from the painful pressure, a groan of distress escaping him the longer it was kept confined. Pain that would only be soothed once he was encompassed by the tight walls of your pussy. 
~
The state of your mind went into a panic when you saw it. What lay between those muscled thighs was a monstrosity. It would bring you nothing but pure anguish and misery, the way it could barely spring upward with its heavy weight. Accompanied by an equally heavy set of balls and prominent veins lining the length of it– it was more of an instrument of pain than that of pleasure, meant to punish and brutalize those that fell victim to it. 
A whimper left you before you started thrashing in earnest, clawing away at his arm to get away from that. 
"LET GO OF ME! NO! Y-YOU CAN'T-!" 
You didn't care that he could snap your neck in a second, didn't care that he could rip you limb from limb or crush your head with his bare hands. Those were much better options than the alternative he was hellbent on pursuing. 
What the hell?! How can he be that bi-!!? Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt monstrous hands grip your knees and pull them apart savagely, screaming at the painful ache in your pelvis following the rough motion. He knelt between your spread legs, his large thighs forcing you open and leaving you unable to close your legs.
"W-wait! Wait! Think about what you're doing, please?! It's not possi-?!" 
The blunt head of his cock tapped your entrance, the pearl of precum mixing with your wetness as he tried to nudge his way in. His size proved too much for your smaller frame, his dick sliding up your vulva in a failed attempt to penetrate you. The insistent push of his hips had you holding your breath, body freezing in place when the head of his cock threatened to breach your cunt only to slide along your labia once more. 
The rough motion had you panting, the repeated nudging on your clit causing your pelvis to twitch from the erotic stimulation. You couldn’t stop your body’s reaction to him, a pulsating heat shimmering beneath your skin. Taking a glance down, you shuddered at the sight of his cock sandwiched between your spread lips. It had your feminine channel burning for him despite your fear of him. Shame accompanied your arousal as you felt more of your natural fluids coating the underside of his dick and flowing down your ass in rivulets.
While you lay gasping at the dizzying sensation, you were ignorant to his growing agitation when he missed his mark again. He raised your hips higher, giving himself a better view of your leaking hole before grabbing his wet shaft with one hand and lining himself up once more. This time he was determined to properly defile you.
Your eyes fluttered open when he adjusted you, looking up at him in confusion as you tried to clear your mind. The momentary pleasure he had given you was obliterated in a second when you felt the press of his cock head stab its first inch inside your dripping pussy. 
Like a bucket of cold water hitting your face, you shrieked when the reality of your situation set in. Flinching from his touch, you tried twisting your hips away from him hoping to dislodge the stiff cock from its journey inside you. 
"No! You won't fit!"
Bucking your hips uselessly, you failed to realize that your swirling hips moved pleasantly around the tip, a dribble of cum shooting out of his cock to coat your insides– making you gasp when you felt it and him shudder strongly at the feel of your sweet cunt. Seeing how you were so lubricated for him, he repositioned himself above you, bracing a foot on the floor while keeping the other leg bent at the knee. Grabbing the back of your knees, he pushed them forward near your head, effectively placing you in a mating press of sorts.
Not giving you any time to protest, he thrusted half of himself in one diligent push.
You yelped at the sudden pain, eyes nearly popping out of your face as you felt your pussy stretch beyond its limit. Glimmer of tears rushed to your eyes, the pain making your mouth wobble as he pulled away– the drag of his cock against your inner walls nearly causing you to faint– only to cry out when he thrusted back in with more force. More of his cock violated your sore insides, rendering you a screaming mess as he continued to plunder your wrecked form. Too scared to look at the damage between your legs, you pushed against his firm stomach, pleading for him to stop or he'll kill you. 
A sharp jab into your swollen flesh had you crying out, arching your back as tears trailed down your face. No manner of preparation could’ve made his passage bearable, the stark difference between his gargantuan size and your regular size evident as you struggled to accommodate him.
He took you like a brute. Not caring about your distressed wails.
It hurt.
Maybe the pain was making you delirious, but beneath the agony, there was a thread of pleasure seeping through the cracks. You refused to believe it, the thought of your body betraying you in such a way nearly crumbling you.
 Then why were your hips moving timidly alongside his?
~
His hands bit into your sides, Pyramid Head lifting your lower body off the floor to smack against him, driving the rest of his cock inside your spasming pussy with a low groan.
It was a tight fit. 
Once the entirety of his throbbing cock was seathed inside your warm heat, he took the time to glance down at you. You were a sweaty mess of blood and tears, pained gasps emerging from your trembling lips as your body twitched uncontrollably from his claiming of you. Your entrance was stretched taut around his engorged cock, the blood smeared on your pelvis making him wonder if it was yours or from him. 
He was immune to your choked sobs, not feeling the least bit remorseful of his violent taking of you. Rather, he was pleased you survived. Many didn’t make it past this stage, but you proved to be a pleasant surprise. 
The snug walls of your cunt suddenly clenched around his dick, nearly making him cum on the spot. 
He pulled his hips back, hissing when your walls clamped down on him, making the task difficult before driving forward with purpose. Before long, your soaked entrance made his movements easier, his dick sliding much faster inside your straining pussy. Pained cries turned into soft mewls, your hips eventually moving in tandem with his with every brush of your clit. 
He paused midthrust to stare at the bulge in your tummy in fascination. It was a ghastly sight– the way your lower belly distended from his cock penetrating you. He pressed on the bump in an inquisitive manner, jolting in shock when your channel clenched around him erratically, a stream of fluid splashing on his lower belly following your loud shriek. 
The shock was momentary, Pyramid Head rubbing your secretion between his fingers to play with the strings. Bringing them beneath the helm of his helmet, he was overtaken with the smell of your lust. Even though you couldn’t meet his gaze, you could feel him staring at you in a hungry manner. He gave you little time to be embarrassed, hunching over you to place your legs above his elbows, spreading you further and spearing into you with brutal thrusts.
He couldn't stop the rapid succession of thrusts, driving into you faster and faster as his release built up with every plunge inside you.
~
You twisted helplessly, opening your mouth to voice out your pleasure as fire spread throughout your body. His fierce pace had you writhing wildly beneath him, shaking your head at the growing tension in your stomach– signaling another approaching orgasm. You didn’t want him to stop. Your womb clenched with every harsh jab of his monstrous dick against it, the pressure escalating with every second of your ruin.
“O-oh! Please, please, please–!!” You sobbed, not knowing if you wanted him to stop his rough onslaught on your poor body or begging for more as his hips collided violently between the juncture of your thighs. The wet slap of skin on skin echoed along the hall, your passionate cries and his low groans forever imprinted on your mind. Your legs grew tired, falling lax on either side of him, unable to keep up with his vigorous pace. 
He used you like nothing more than a cocksleeve, molding the shape of his cock in your tight pussy, his sac slapping lewdly against your ass.
It became too much. 
Your mind went blank when the knot in your belly finally snapped, letting out a scream of completion when intense heat spread throughout your shaking body. Your vaginal walls gripped him tightly, trying to milk him for all his worth, the sudden tightness forcing a growl to emerge from him. Tears escaped you, the painful pleasure driving you mad in his embrace.
White lights danced behind your eyelids, your orgasm turning you into a puddled mess of ecstasy even as he continued to ravage you.
The last thing you felt before closing your eyes in exhaustion was a scorching heat filling your insides, calloused fingers rubbing the bump in your tummy in wonder.
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lady-djarin · 2 months
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on my radar
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joel miller x f!reader (one shot)
warnings/tags: edited very little so sorry! dual pov, jackson era dark!joel, SMUT (oral fem receiving, p in v), stalker behavior from mr miller, age gap (50s/20s), joel is kind of a creep but reader is kinda into it, murder off screen, cannon typical violence, men harassing women (a guy is gross with reader/unwanted touching etc) NO R*PE, possessive talk and nicknames (mine, love, my girl, good girl etc), reader can be lifted by mr big man joel but otherwise no really specific details about readers body other than the usual fem. 18+ minors be gone!,
word count: 5.8k
* 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
YOU
You almost dropped it twice, your gloved fingers slipped around the smooth metal of the gun as you fumbled to pull the trigger. The clicker was quickly stumbling toward you even on its one and a half limbs. You and your patrol partner got separated when a small swarm of the dead caught you both off guard in a densely wooded area . As you were trapped in a corner of a hunting shed by the crawling thing, you felt your heart rate begin to rise and the feeling of dread set in that this might be your last moment.
You saw the blood hit your gloves before you even heard the blade hack into its head. Then the body hit the floor.
You looked up to find your patrol partner standing there with a machete clutched in his hand. He was looming over you with a look very close to anger creasing his brows and his chest heaving in exhaustion. He grabbed the gun out of your hand and grabbed your arm to pull you away from the writhing body. He hacked the large blade into the neck to fully decapitate the head then stabbed into the ear to finally kill it.
“Do you even know how to use this thing?” His voice had an edge to it, like he was mad, or scared as he held up the gun in your face.
You looked at him with tears brimming your lash line, the cold was seeming to freeze them before they tried to fall down your cheek. “Yeah, pretty much.”
“Have you ever been on patrol?” His eyes narrowed as they scanned your face, then your body.
“No.” Your mouth was so dry.
“Who sent you on patrol!? What the hell…,” he grumbled as he turned away. “I asked you a question.” He shot another nasty glare your way when you didn’t answer.
His statement kind of shocked you, not a lot of people are blunt like that.
“Uhm, I asked Tommy, I wanted to help.”
“Fucking Tommy, sticking me with a kid.”
“Hey I might be new to this but I'm not a kid,” you chased after him and that didn't help your defense.
“Jesus…,” he was grumbling again and marching away, toward where you hid the horses. The two of you set out on patrol a couple hours before, your first time outside the gates in Jackson. You had heard rumors about Joel, people said he was ‘rough around the edges but good people’. You had seen him around the community and wondered if he was someone you could get along with. He seemed like he was an outsider, kind of like you. When you learned you were partnered with him you figured it was going to be difficult, but this was a little much.
You were on your way through the state trying to get to where your dad lived in Sundance when you ran into some trouble near their camp and they took you in until you recovered. They stitched you up after they found a nasty gash on your ribs when you were discovered fighting off a pack of stalkers. After arriving at the Jackson community, you learned that Sundance was completely overrun. The sparse community there hunkered down in their homes after the outbreak but with the large swarms that came through the area, pretty much everyone fled and went their own ways. You could barely stand the thought that your dad was caught in the middle but he was strong, he could find his way out.
He had to.
So you remained in Jackson, becoming a part of the community, and everyone in the community had to help out somehow. You felt indebted to Tommy and the community for helping you and making you feel at home here after your recovery. That's why you wanted to go on patrol, you felt like you could help. Joel clearly didn't agree.
That last fucking thing he wanted to do was teach some rookie how to handle themselves on patrol. He was pissed and you could see it in the tense bunching of his shoulders as he rode on in front of you. You felt kind of bad for having Joel take care of you back there but he didn't have to be such an ass about it.
“Hey,” you rode up next to him. “Look I know I'm not who you wanted to be on patrol with but just give me a chance ok? I'm just trying to do a job here.”
He barely looked your way, he just kind of grunted before urging his horse over the final path into Jackson.
Alright then.
You didn't see those broad hunching shoulders for a couple days after, though he clearly had been talking about you. Tommy took you off patrol so Joel obviously made his concerns clear to his brother. When you did see him it was from across a room or passing in the street, but even in brief passes it felt like a tension was always present. His brows would bunch in the middle as he scanned you. It always felt like a judgment maybe, or some kind of disgust the way he would observe you. You quite honestly thought he hated you.
JOEL
You looked cute when you were mad, actually to Joel you always looked cute. Your cheeks were pink with the morning cold, your breath steamed in the air as you huffed through your nose. You were mad because he was ignoring you, and he was ignoring you because he was scared shitless when he came into that hunting hide and found you cornered by one of the dead. It scared the living shit out of him to think about how you were almost torn apart.
He doesn't remember the exact day that he started to care a little too much about you, it was a slow thing. It took over his life, watching you as you became integrated into the fabric of the town. The people of Jackson welcomed you and you welcomed them right back. People loved you and you got along with pretty much everyone. He started to notice you when he saw you and Ellie chatting about something girl related in the mess hall. He noticed how you seemed to genuinely invested in your conversation with Ellie, hanging on to her every word. Next thing he knows he's thinking about you every waking hour, and you haunt most of his dreams. It feels like you are a presence in his chest that he can't carve out and he has tried.
Joel had tried to occupy himself by relieving the tension himself, trying to dissolve the desire he had for you. It didn't work, of course, but he couldn't help himself.
He refused to actually make any kind of relationship with you, he felt like it would look inappropriate. He was a grumpy gray haired man and you were young and bright, he felt like he would be too rough for you anyway. He was a broken man, his hands were dirty with death and guilt and blood. He could see the innocence in your eyes, the way you smiled with your whole heart when talking to people, especially someone he cares for.
Maybe those were the moments he truly started to have real feelings for you, seeing the way you cared for Ellie. Everytime he would see you it made his heart skip a beat, it almost confused him at first, like his heart was waking up from a decades long nap. His chest hurt with how intensely he was starting to ache without you near, it only ever stopped when he saw you or felt you close or smelled your shampoo as you walked by. It was the same as everyone else as there was a lady in Jackson who made everyone soap but still when it lingered after you it smelled like heaven to Joel.
All that to say, Joel still felt like it was wrong to pursue you. You were and always will be the one that got away.
He needed to stay away.
YOU
It had been a couple weeks or so, maybe longer since you saw those grumpy brown eyes. You had started to miss him, as painful as it was to admit. Even though he was barely a colleague, definitely not a friend, you were missing the way… he was mean to you? No, that can’t be right. Why would you miss a man that is anything but nice around you?
Tommy had found you another job working at the local watering hole/dining hall, as the patrol thing clearly wasn’t going to work. He was walking you around the hall, introducing you to the people you would be working with when you heard a familiar voice.
“Hey Tommy, you here?”
“Yea Joel, in here.”
Shit.
“Oh hey Joel…” You wanted to keel over and die.
”H-hey.” He seemed… odd.
They chatted about something security related and you were introduced to the hall supervisor. As you talked on one end of the room, Joel and Tommy were on the other and it felt like neither of you could look away from the other. Your eyes kept finding each other, each time it felt longer and longer, like the world was falling away. It felt much different than the last time you spoke, like he might not actually hate you. It was an odd feeling, having his eyes on you, he was almost predatory.
Even as he looked over what felt like every couple seconds, he still had this pinched, angry look on his face.
But it was hard to look away. Joel was mesmerizing but you knew deep down he could never be interested the way you would want him to be. He was a grumpy older man that wanted nothing to do with the new young girl in town.
You didn’t see him for a while after that.
JOEL
Joel Miller was by no means a good man. A good man wouldn’t be watching you like this, following an unsuspecting woman around town. A good man wouldn’t watch you as you walked around the Jackson streets, minding your business, talking to your new found friends.
Ever since seeing you again at the dining hall he couldn’t rid his mind of you, as hard as he tried. He knew he would ruin you if you let him, if he even got one taste he would be addicted. Not like he wasn’t now, leering at you talking to patrons at your job. He felt dirty in a way, like he wasn’t allowed to look, not allowed to have the urge to bash in the head of any man who looks at you wrong. Like the guy you were helping now, Mike, every time you turned away to get him what he asked for, he could see his slimy gaze caressing your curves.
He felt like he was going crazy, not being able to be near you like he truly wants. He wasn’t sleeping well, barely eating enough to keep him upright and almost missed patrol on more than one occasion. His mind was playing tricks on him, he would find you in dreams, wake up to find you cooking breakfast in his kitchen or walking hand in hand down the streets of Jackson. The cruel reality that he would never have that always hit him hard in the morning when the sunlight came streaming over his bedspread.
He often found himself turning over, searching for you.
Sometimes they were nightmares, visions of you being attacked by the dead or one of Jackson’s very own.
That’s why he was here, making sure you were safe from the dangers of this world. It was his job.
He was there until you got off work, gathering your belongings and heading out the door when Mike popped around the corner. Joel was immediately on high alert, watching the man’s every move as he advanced on an unsuspecting you. He stalked after the two of you, staying just out of sight. His blood boiled when he saw Mike call after you.
She’s mine, he thought.
He stayed across the street, just in case things went sideways. In case he put his hands on what didn’t belong to him.
“Hey! Saw ya leaving work, how was your night?” Ok, nice enough but Joel knew he was clearly waiting for you to leave work.
“It was ok, just tired and ready to go home.” You were being polite but clearly trying to convey that you were going home, alone. That’s my girl.
“I’d like to talk to ya though, ya know i’ve seen ya ‘round and think you’re real cute. Come on, please? One chance?” He’s persistent, that's for sure. Walking the line there, Mike.
“That’s sweet but I’m not really looking for anyone right now, I just got here a few months ago…” You kept walking and you kept your eye contact away from him, smart girl.
“If you give me a chance I’ll show ya I’m worth it. I promise baby.” You were not his baby.
“I’m not your baby, Mike. Please, I just want to go home.” You turned towards him now with determination in your tired eyes.
Mike clearly wasn’t hearing you, or just not caring because as you tried to turn away he grabbed your arm and pinned your back against a wall.
He’s dead.
YOU
I’m dead. This stupid asshole is going to kill me. Your mind was racing as you looked for ways out. Mike’s front was almost completely pushed against yours now as he trapped you against the brick wall. You could now smell the alcohol on his breath now that he was on top of you. You tried to break free, maybe he was drunk enough where you could shake him off. You could tell that wasn’t the case when he groaned in delight.
“Mhmm, keep doing that baby. I like feeling ya move that pretty body.” You wanted to puke, his greasy beard and sour breath was assaulting your space. You froze your body in an attempt to get him off you but he leaned in, trying to capture your lips. You whipped your head to the side and squeezed your eyes shut trying to block out whatever he might do next. Only, when you expected his lips or something on you, there was nothing. His entire weight was gone and you almost slumped to the floor in relief. When you opened your eyes, there was nothing, no one in sight, not even a sound. Mike was nowhere to be seen, nor was anyone else. If you weren’t so relieved that the creep was gone, you’d be freaked out. It felt like one of those eerie horror movies you watched before the word turned into one itself.
You weren’t really sure what else to do other than go home. You walked the quiet streets towards your small house and barricaded your door that night, just to be safe.
…..
“Have you heard?! I can’t believe it!” Angela’s voice shook you out of your tired daze. No matter how you tried to occupy your mind or sleep last night you couldn’t shake what Mike did to you. “It was Mike! That’s who it was that was found behind the dinner hall.”
Mike? Did you hear her right?
“Wait, Mike, like creepy Mike?”
“Yes!” Angela never learned how to not raise her voice.
Mike was dead. He was dead behind where you worked after he assaulted you. That seemed… convenient. Did that make you a bad person?
“They are calling everyone to the town hall for an announcement.” This was the only time they have done this in the short time you’ve been here.
Everyone walked over and filled the hall wall to wall. Tommy, Maria and a few other members in charge of running Jackson stood on the stage of the building that looked to once be a school auditorium, including Joel. Your eyes caught him up there as soon as you walked in, recognizing his brown curls anywhere. Tommy walked up to the top of the stage and everyone immediately quieted down, they clearly respected him.
“Hey ya’ll… Uh, unfortunately it's not good news that calls us together today.” He was clearly nervous. “One of our own is gone, Mike Walton. Now I know in this world losing someone happens more often than we would expect but this one is different. It happened in our walls and we think, committed by one of our own.”
Murder. He was killed. Fuck.
The crowd was starting to murmur and quietly panic. You felt responsible somehow, like you being the last one to see him, you think, meant… something. You had to tell them what happened last night, if only to make sure they know now instead of finding out some other way. So they know you're not hiding anything.
You stayed after the crowd cleared, listened to Tommy assure everyone that they are safe and he is putting security measures in place. You went up to the stage and caught Maria’s attention, you felt comfortable with her and maybe she would be more understanding. She really helped you assimilate when you recovered and felt kind of like a sister in a way.
“Hey sweetie, how ya doing?”
“I need… I need to tell you something.”
She took you to a more private area and you told her what happened the night before. She listened dutifully as you recounted your story and it really made it strangely better to talk about it. It was by no means easy to forget but knowing someone was listening helped. After you finished and she gave you a reassuring hug, she brought you back to Tommy… and Joel.
“Ok hon, I will need to tell Tommy about this, I’ll only include the necessary things.” You nodded knowing you could trust both of them with the news. “Joel, would you be able to walk her home? I don’t want to take any chances here.” Maria did say to you privately that she was going to treat this as if you were in danger in some way, in case this turned out to be about you.
He only nodded in your direction, extending his arm, signaling you to lead the way. You walked the streets, the silent tall man trailing behind you. You stopped so abruptly that Joel backed up in surprise.
“I don’t need you walking behind me like a bodyguard.”
“Where should I walk?” His voice dripped with something dark.
“W-well…I don’t know, next to me like a normal person?”
All he does is silently walk up to you and nod forward urging you on. You kept walking, feeling Joel’s arm brush up against yours and the tension was building before either of you said anything. You arrived at your building in silence and he walked you up the steps, more than you were expecting from the distant man. You paused as you opened the door and realized something, if Maria is right and someone is after you, they could be in your house.
“Y’ok?” His voice was low and rough.
“Uh… actually, no. Joel, would you be able to come in… and uh, check it out? Just to make sure, I don’t know…someone’s not— not in there?”
You swore his eyes softened at your nervous request, maybe he felt bad. He followed you inside and had you wait by the door as he surveyed the rest of the house. He came back within only a few minutes and you were relieved it was quiet in the house.
“You’re all good here darlin’,” he stood by the kitchen counter almost like he was avoiding leaving.
But you didn’t want him to leave.
JOEL
He knew no one would be in your house, there was no one after you. Except him. He saw Mike put his hands and other parts on you and something flipped in his brain. He went feral and had been looking for an opportunity to take this guy out. He was a menace to the community but Tommy said there was no legitimate reason. Usually he wanted a blatant offense to take action or even exile someone. Mike was sneaky, that was the problem, he was good at hiding his deplorable behavior towards women behind being friendly with most of the male Jackson population.
Joel was so sick of it, and he likes to pretend that’s why he was there that night, not that he couldn’t keep his eyes off you. For weeks now he had been everywhere you were, coincidence of course. He needed to make sure that you were safe, that someone would be there for you. Even if he couldn’t have you, he needed to watch over you. You had completely consumed his life, every waking and sleeping hour he had his mind on you.
The worst of it he thinks was a few weeks into his obsession, he found himself across the street from your house, crouched in the bushes like a maniac. He watched your silhouette as you turned about the room, picking things up, gathering our belongings and just generally going about your home life. It was so magical to him to see you living your life unencumbered by the burden of how cruel people can be. He had to make sure no one took that from you.
He was pulled from his thoughts by your sweet voice. “Joel? You ok?”
“Y-ya sorry, what did you say?”
“I asked if you wanted a drink.”
“Oh, uh- sure sweetheart.”
He watched you go over to a cabinet and pull out a dwindling bottle of something dark that made his mouth water. You had good taste.
That's my girl.
You slid over the glass with a small amount of whiskey and you each sipped it slowly.
“Thanks for walking me home, I really appreciate it.”
“No problem darlin’, but I'm sure you’re safe. No one’s gonna hurt ya.”
“Sure doesn’t feel that way.”
YOU
“I promise you, no one will ever…ever hurt you again.” The way Joel said it, it was like he had murder in his eyes. He was so intense that you believed him, like he would protect you. You felt a thrill pass down your spine from his gruff voice. He was always a rugged man with his height, his broad shoulders and intimidating dark eyes but now, he looked downright deadly.
For a minute you worried that Joel could be responsible— no he would never. Even if he did, could you really be upset at him making this community safer? Did that make you a bad person?
He was looking at you like prey he wanted to devour. It made your pulse race, it made your core throb. The tension had been growing since the walk back and it was evident to both of you. Joel circled the kitchen counter to come right in front of you. Both your glasses forgotten, he caged you in with his hands on the counter bracketing your hips. Without a word he brought a hand up to cup your cheek, his calloused skin caressed your skin much lighter than you were expecting. The only sound in the house was your heavy breathing as he stared down at you. You couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something off about Joel. Not necessarily bad but just something sharp and scary, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care as he slowly leaned down to hover his lips over yours, asking for more.
Even if Joel was a bad man, fuck it.
You leaned up slightly to meet his lips and all self control went out the window. His hands were all over you in a second, hips pressed into yours as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. Your head spun as he licked into you and nipped at your bottom lip causing a whimper to escape your lungs. It all became very frantic as he lifted you up onto the counter and bit and kissed his way down your neck. You knew there would be evidence of it the next morning and it kind of excited you to know you’d have Joel’s marks on you. His greedy hands were groping and squeezing every inch of you and you couldn’t get enough. With your own shaky hands you tried to unbutton his shirt but Joel stopped you.
“R’ya sure baby girl?” You swore you felt slick dripping down your inner thighs. “Jus’ gotta tell me and I’ll stop, ’k?”
All you could do was nod.
“I need words.”
“Y-yes,” you practically moaned.
“Good girl.” Fuck, his voice. Your hips rolled forward on the counter, trying to gain any friction. Your clit was pulsing with need and both of you were getting impatient. “Thank god, otherwise I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.” He mumbled it almost to himself.
You gasped as he pulled off the counter and led you up the stairs in silence. Any other person would think he was angry but you knew, he was anything but. He led you to your bedroom and it briefly dawned on you that he was leading you there, he knew where your bedroom was. There was always something intense about Joel, you knew that from the start, it's one of the reasons you were drawn to him. But due to recent events you were starting to question just how depraved he might be. You hated to assume anything but you somehow knew deep down that he was the one who… saved you from Mike. That’s what it was, he saved you from being killed, or worse.
Once in your bedroom Joel turned and pushed you against the wall, attaching his lips to your neck.
He hummed deep in his throat, almost a moan. “Mhmm, darlin’ you are so sweet. Y’smell so good.” He was mumbling into your throat, half kissing, half biting. You were each pulling clothes off the other, desperate to feel skin. When Joel had you completely bare for him, you tried to cover yourself, mostly out of habit.
“You… you are perfect baby.” His eyes dark with desire as he pulled your hands up his mouth and kissed your knuckles. “Don’t cover up, I wanna see ya.” He pulled your hands away as he backed you up to the bed and gently pushed you back onto the soft quilt. You stared up at him, taking in his form, he was still in his jeans but bare from the waist up. You admired his graying hair that led below his belt, mouth watering at the bulge underneath. Before you could reach for his belt, he looped his strong arms under your knees and pulled your butt toward the end of the bed. With cracking knees he knelt in front of the bed and his face became level with your dripping core. His eyes were locked on you, his lips almost matching the way you drooled between your legs.
“Joel—,” you were unable to form words, the breath perpetually caught in your throat.
“Shhh, I know hon, I gotcha,” his voice was lower than you ever heard it, something dangerous simmering below the surface.
“Joel, wait—,” he moved up your body at your request. “I just… I’m confused,” you were shaking and out of breath but you needed to ask him. “I thought you didn’t like me… it’s just every time we would see each other you seemed to avoid me at all costs and now…”
“The only reason I was acting like that was because I liked you… too much.” His eyes hovered directly over yours, deep pools of obsidian overtaken with the desire. “I thought I was protecting you, from myself. But I… I,” he almost seemed nervous in a way, but there was still the underlying grumble of anger in his chest.
“What?”
“I see now that I have to protect you from everyone else.” He said it with such a darkness settled over his face, and it took you a minute to register what he was admitting.
He killed Mike. Holy shit.
Your whole body froze and you felt your eyes widen and breath pick up. But you also had this deep feeling in your gut, was that arousal? Were you attracted to this? That dropping feeling in your stomach told you that you were. Jesus, did that make you a bad person? Fuck it.
You grasped your fingers through his hair, pulling him down to you as you attached your lips to his.
JOEL
You were a vision, puffy lips wet from kissing, eyes blown wide as your chest heaved. “You protected me?”
Oh, fuck me.
“Of course baby girl,” he needed you to know this was all for you. He was yours and you were his. “No one will take you from me.”
He worked his way down your body, kissing and nipping his way to your center again. He spread your legs and stared into your dripping folds as he got onto his knees again. You whimpered and moaned his name and he relished the sounds, he loved hearing and seeing you react to his touch. He wanted nothing more than to hear you scream his name.
“I wanna feel ya’ cum on my tongue darlin’,” he loved the way your pussy drooled for him. Joel felt like a man starved, like he was finally seeing water after a year in the desert. He licked a broad stripe up your folds then sealing his lips around your clit and sucking. You screamed and he felt your thighs wrap around his head only spurring him on further. He pulled your legs in front of him and pushed to the mattress, opening you up further for his enjoyment. When he worked two fingers into you, he knew you were close based on your shaking and whimpering.
“I-I’m so close baby,” you sounded so cute, so desperate. “I need— please Joel.”
He wanted you to fall apart, speeding up his movements he knew it wouldn’t be long now. He curled his fingers while lapping at your clit, he felt your walls flutter and tighten around his fingers.
“Cum for me angel.”
You broke. Joel’s fingers were covered in your juices and you screamed his name as you came. He kept up his movements to prolong your pleasure, he reveled in the way your legs shook with overstimulation.
“Oh… my god,” you sighed as Joel crawled his way back up to your face, slotting himself between your legs.
YOU
He entered you slowly. You could feel every vein and edge of him and you were thankful he readied you with his fingers because Joel was not a small man. He started slow, presumably for your benefit, but soon his pace picked up and the crown of his dick was hitting a spot inside of you that made you see stars.
“Fuck— You feel so good,” he puncuate each word with with his hips, each time driving you up the bed. You grabbed onto his shoulders, trying to gain leverage but you were unable to do anything except take his brutal pace. He was past holding himself back now, you swore you felt him in places you never thought possible. You recognized somewhere in the back of your mind that letting the man who… murdered someone for you fuck you into your mattress might be a bad move. Too bad he was too good at it for you to care. You felt the coil of your orgasm tightening in your lower stomach as Joel leaned back, looming over you like a dark angel.
“I want you to touch yourself,” he pulled one of your hands towards your clit. “Cum for me baby.”
You pressed and circled your fingertips into the bundle of nerves, your pleasure just seconds from cresting. Joel must have felt it because he gripped your hips and pulled you into his lap, picking up his pace and punching into your g-spot.
“Oh fuck!— I’m gonna cum baby…plea—,” you couldn’t even get the rest of the word out as your orgasm crashed into you. You think you might have blacked out as your vision went blank for a moment and you think you heard yourself screaming. Joel kept up his pace and rode you through it all.
“Mmm that’s it, that’s my good girl…,” his voice was low and gravely in your ear when he leaned over, pushing almost all his weight on top of you while he chased his high.
“P-please Joel, cum inside m-me,” his harsh movements made it hard to talk, hard to breathe. You didn’t care though, you were desperate to feel him finish inside you.
“Inside you baby? Ngh, tha—that’s my good gi—,” he didn’t finish his sentence either as he almost collapsed on top of you. You wrapped your legs around his hips and held him there as he filled you up. He grunted and groaned in your ear as he came down, he pulled out slowly making sure you were comfortable and kissed his way down your neck and chest. “Stay here baby.” You laid there unable to move and watched his naked form as he found your bathroom with ease and came back with a warm washcloth. As he cleaned you, you recalled his words, ‘my good girl’. His.
“Joel?” He didn’t respond with words, only hummed at you to continue while he cleaned your inner thighs. “Did you mean it? I’m…,” you were hesitant to speak it, what if you were wrong? What if it was something he said in the heat of the moment. You felt the bed dip and he settled beside you, towel discarded.
“Use your words honey, what’s on your mind?” He moved a bit of hair out of your face and waited patiently for you to continue.
“I’m yours? Not just tonight.” You met his gaze with timid eyes.
“Yes, of course. Y’have been since I first saw you.” He kissed you deep, lips prying yours apart. “I protected you, remember? I wasn’t gonna let anyone hurt you, especially not him.”
He looked at you with nothing but truth in his eyes. He really did kill Mike, holy shit. He did it for you. In this world maybe you could rest easier knowing you had someone to protect you like that. Joel may be a scary man, but you had nothing to fear for yourself with him around. You slept that night more soundly than you had in ten years. wrapped in the strong arms of a man who chased your nightmares away.
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anothermonikan · 1 year
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The Domino's worker when me and my friend went in an hour before closing time and I sat and talked about Avalon Doki-Doki Literature Girls for half-an-hour straight
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yandere! popular girl x gn!reader x yandere emo boy
A/n: "Mimi" is 18 years old and a senior! This post is nsfw so minors do not interact! Sorry for the shitty ending, I'm too sleepy
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💓yandere! Popular girl who first introduced herself as "Mimi", refusing to tell you her real name as she found you sitting alone at lunch. Riley having left to go and get a lunch for himself
"saw you by yourself and I couldn't leave such a cute thing all by their lonesome! What's your name sweetheart?"
🌺Mimi follows you everywhere, much to Riley's displeasure, she quickly becomes someone fun and reliable for you to hang out with. You never seemed to notice the tension she had with the aforementioned goth
🌷Mimi slowly pushes the boundaries of your friendship, Getting very touchy feely and claiming it was how she was with all her friends! Which isn't much of a lie since you've seen how she acts the same with them.. but still, you could swear she was more personal with you..
💓Mimi starts getting dirty thoughts of you 3 months into your friendship, desperately needing to touch herself to get some relief. It was such a problem since she had a high sex drive, just a horny virgin really
"ah.. hah.. babydoll.. fuck, wish you were here.. wonder how you'd take care of me.. ah..! cumming.."
🌺Mimi secretly has low self esteem and confidence, seeing you as her only saving light despite being surrounded by people who love her. She doesn't need them! All she wants is you.
🌷Riley and Mimi who start getting sexually frustrated because you're either so dense to their advances or you're just choosing to ignore the signs. They come to an agreement to satisfy eachother until they can get you, whoever reaches you first wins fair and square
"Riley! Slow down, w-wait not inside-!?"
"...whoops"
"goddamnit Riley... You're so lucky I'm on the pill.."
💓Riley and Mimi who slowly start falling in love, their dates often involving stalking you and/or mutually masturbating to hearing you get yourself off in your room, through the camera Mimi hid under your bed one time when she was over
🌺Mimi has a big breeding kink, and loves it when she gets her clit slapped. Cumming almost instantly. Riley is more than happy to help. (They totally aren't planning on going 10x more roughly on you)
🌷Mimi and Riley who kidnap you as soon as you all graduate, keeping you locked in Riley's basement. Mimi moves in soon after and they both take turns going out to work or looking after you
💓if you're afab Mimi will beg Riley to knock you both up once you're financially stable. If you're amab Mimi will beg you to give her a baby. She's desperate okay
🌺5 years later they managed to forge a three-way marriage contract, keeping it under wraps as you're all now legally married! Congrats to the happy couple
🌷Mimi is incredibly happy, but she can also feel her grip on reality slipping.. hm,must be nothing, right?
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thebibliosphere · 9 months
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Sorry for being weird on your post, but has any East Asian person gotten upset about your allergy? Hopefully you were gracious and civil and not a racist about that. There’s been pseudoscience regarding MSG and East Asians have been wrongly slandered for it when a 7-11 hot dog has more msg than a pile of steamed dumplings from a takeout restaurant.
I had no idea what post you were talking about; I had to go look. No idea why that old post started circulating again, but thank you for the addition.
You're right; even though I didn't mention MSG anywhere in that post, there is a lot of pseudoscience around it, and it's heavily steeped in racism.
While I've never had anyone be mean to me about it (at least not once I've explained what MCAS is), it's still very frustrating if I mention being sensitive to MSG because people immediately assume I'm talking about East Asian foods when, as you rightly pointed out, there's more MSG in your average American hot dog. Not to mention pizza.
While I get very, very ill eating things like steamed dumplings (sadly, I used to love them!) I'm going to get equally ill from eating things like tomatoes and certain cheeses, which contain MSG naturally.
Trying to explain that latter part to some people really makes their heads explode, lol. Because, yeah, MSG occurs naturally! It's flavorful and not harmful -- it's just not good for histamine-sensitive people!
Unfortunately, MCAS/HIT awareness isn't great, so people assume their symptoms are because "MSG is bad" and not because they're sensitive to histamine. It sucks. I wish people were more aware.
This is why whenever I talk about MSG I'm mindful to frame it in the above context. MSG is a safe flavor enhancer that occurs naturally and that can make some people ill because it is a histamine liberator.
The same is true of yogurt, fresh fruits, vitamin C, and a whole host of other nutrient-dense, vital foods. It's the disorder that sucks, not the foods!
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sturniolohouse · 1 month
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Anniversary in the Cape - M.S
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A/N: hey so, i feel CRAZY after writing this. this is truly an example of the duality of my writing... also, i'm sorry if there's any typos, i've proofread a ton and even stuck this bitch in grammarly but i could have missed something. she's looonnnng, so get some wine (if legal) and some popcorn and enjoy!!!!!! ALSO, ALSO, minors!!! DNI!!!! pls and thank you. :)
summary: matt and reader take their relationship to the next level, going on an overdue vacation to the cape for their anniversary.
warnings: cursing, smut (unprotected do not recommend), spanking, choking, matt being hot, uhhh idk
word count: 5.8k
song: stargazing - the neighborhood
'started with a spark, now we're on fire'
"And you're sure your parents were okay with us using the car and the house?" I ask looking at him focus on the road in front of him.
"Yes, baby. For the one-hundredth time, they don't mind. Quit worrying, this is our vacation," He looks at me quickly, taking a hand off the wheel to meet my thigh and squeeze it lightly.
"I know, I'm just nervous," I admit softly and he turns to me with wide playful eyes.
"Nervous! Why the hell are you nervous?" He laughs in bewilderment, and I roll my eyes, shrugging slightly.
"I mean, obviously we've been alone before, but we've never been away just the two of us," I explain.
"Yeah, and I'm fucking ecstatic about it. Like you said, no interruptions, quiet house, on the cape...possibilities are endless." He says looking at me with a small suggestive smile growing on his face.
Of course, Matt and I get alone time. Do we get as much as we would like? No.
It's difficult finding time for ourselves when Matt lives with his brothers and my roommates are hermits.
Which I never saw as an issue, because I honestly don't mind spending time with Chris and Nick whenever I'm by their place–which is often. I was actually friends with all of them way before Matt and I began dating. 
But when Matt brought up the last time we had gone on a real date, it had been months.
"No, I know. I'm excited too, it's just a new step in our relationship and it feels very...adult? I don't know, I sound silly," I shake my head and he squeezes my thigh again before grabbing my hand.
"Hey, I know what you mean, and you don't sound silly." He softens a bit to reassure me before kissing the back of my hand. My heart warms at his gesture and I squeeze his hand. 
"I'm excited to show you one of my favorite places, I still can't believe you've never been. I literally grew up here." He changes the subject as he switches lanes and I see the sign indicating Cape Cod is less than a mile away.
We flew into Boston by ourselves yesterday afternoon and spent the night at his parent's house. It was Matt's idea, saying he didn't mind taking the drive as it wasn't too far from his house in Somerville. 
"Are you finally going to tell me what we're doing?" I rub circles into the back of his hand with my thumb.
His mouth quirks to one side pensively but he laughs as soon as he hears me sigh impatiently. 
"Okay, okay, you really wanna know?" He drawls out, turning to glance at me for a moment then turning back to the road. 
"You know I wanna know," I lean over the divider and stare into the side of his face. He smirks a bit, side-eyeing me a few times before humming. 
"Hmm, I think I'll leave you squirming a little longer," He says after a moment.
He exits the highway and I huff, slumping back into my seat.
This place looks like something straight out of a storybook.  
The green, hilly scenery takes my breath away. Matt shows me the main street, driving past the historic houses and buildings as families and couples walk down the street. When we round the bend, the dense trees become few and far between and the lush green landscape dissolves into tall grass, sand, and rock as the ocean comes into view.
We drive along the coast the rest of the way and I just stare in awe at the cozy beach town as Matt tells stories of growing up here in the summer. 
"That house at the end is the family house," He points to the one on the left.
Pulling into the driveway, Matt puts the car in park before cutting the engine. I go to open my door but he stops me, putting a finger up and getting out of the car himself.
I give him a questioning look before I see him jog to the other side of the car to open my door for me.
"And they say chivalry is dead," I shake my head jokingly and he shrugs with a smirk.
I get out of the car and lean up to give him a quick kiss, we're smiley and giddy when we pull apart. He gives me another kiss before handing me a key.
"Go head inside, I'll grab our bags," He says softly against my lips and I nod quickly.
As I walk past him to make my way to the front door, I feel a light slap to my ass. I go to give him a playful disapproving look, but he's already opening the trunk to grab our stuff and acting like nothing happened.
The house is small and charming.
It belongs to their grandparents and has been the family vacation home for decades. The colorful wind chimes on the front porch sing with the soft breeze. I breathe in the salty air and walk towards the steps leading to the front door.
I twist the key to open the door and I'm engulfed with a warm, inviting scent. There are tons of family pictures on the walls and my heart swells at the baby pictures of the triplets.
I can easily spot Matt in a picture of the three of them on the beach, probably around four or five years old.
Seeing photos of them as children always blows my mind because of how identical they looked.
Matt comes in with our bags, noticing me looking at the photos on the wall.
"You were so fucking cute as a kid," I say going to grab my duffel from him but he takes my hand instead, leading me down the hall to the bedroom.
"Am I not cute now?" He pretends to be offended.
"Eh," I joke back and he opens the door at the end of the hall.
"This is our bedroom, the bathroom is next door on the left," He nods behind us toward the hall.
The bedroom is a pale seafoam green color, the bed adorned with a vintage patchwork quilt lined with a ruffle trim. The room has more family photos hung on the walls and beach-themed decor.
"We can unpack now and then head to the store to grab something for dinner and the next few days. There's definitely no food here. Sound good?" He places our bags on the bed and turns to me, placing his hands on his hips.
He wears a backward camo Boston Red Sox hat, a black tee with a silver chain around his neck, jean shorts, and white New Balance sneakers.
I must have been ogling him for too long because he snaps his fingers in front of my face with a smug expression.
"D'ya hear me, kid, or are you too busy eye-fucking me?" He smiles, licking his lips, and I feel a deep blush bloom from my chest up to my neck.
"Not my fault my boyfriend is so hot," I shrug, trying to recover from his playful callout, and he rolls his eyes, blushing himself.
He shakes his head, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pulling me into his chest. I wrap my arms around his middle, placing my head over his heart as we settle into a moment of comfortable silence.
An intrusive thought takes over, and I squeeze him tighter against me. I hear him groan at the sudden pressure of my grip, and he grabs hold of my arms.
"Okay, okay. Enough with the cuteness-aggression. You're going to break my ribs, kid," He wheezes.
I let up only after he tickles my sides. I squeal as he chases me to the other side of the bed and I finally surrender and ask for mercy. He slaps my ass and tells me I'll pay for it later.
We unpack our stuff and head out to the store to get ingredients for tacos. The one and only thing I've tried to improve in Matt is his cooking skills.
When we first got together, it was concerning how little he knew about cooking along with the number of times a week he'd eat out. I changed that real fast, teaching him basic meals he could make himself that were quick and pretty foolproof. Tacos were one of them.
"Go shower, I'll start dinner." He tells me, putting all of the groceries on the counter.
"You sure you can handle it?" I tease, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Hey, I've gotten better. Didn't you like the salmon I made you the other week?" He points his finger at me and I roll my eyes.
"Yes, my love, I was very proud of you." I lean in and kiss the corner of his mouth, "I'll be quick," I say before going to take my long-awaited shower.
As the hot water cascades over my shoulders, I can't help but let my thoughts drift. This trip is a huge step for us, and despite my nerves, I know it was a much-needed and deserved trip.
We don't really have an anniversary only because we both don't remember the specific date and we never made our being official a big deal. It's never been our style.
But we decided this would be a getaway for our 'anniversary' as next month will be our second summer together.
I finish up and wrap myself in a towel, savoring the lingering warmth before I quickly get dressed. I smell the scent of sizzling meat and spices coming from the kitchen.
When I reach the kitchen, I can't help but smile at the sight of Matt carefully chopping lettuce. His brows furrowed and his tongue poked out in serious concentration.
"Smells amazing in here," I comment, leaning against the doorway.
Matt looks up startled a bit, dropping the knife and putting a hand over his heart. A proud grin quickly spreads across his face when he realizes it's just me.
"You fuckin' scared me. I'm almost done, just need to heat up the tortillas." He gestures for me to come over, and I do, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind.
"You're getting good at this," I compliment, kissing his shoulder as he flips the tortillas.
"Only because I have a great teacher," he replies, turning his head to kiss my cheek.
I help set the table while Matt finishes up. We sit down to eat, the atmosphere cozy and intimate. The tacos are actually delicious, and I make sure to shower Matt with compliments for his efforts. We pop open the sparkling apple cider Mary-Lou and Jimmy gave as a parting gift to us. Digging through the cupboards, we end up finding old plastic flutes to make a quick toast with.
"Here's to us, thank you for making each day brighter. To many more days with you, I love you very much," I say simply, raising my glass. He gets shy and smiley but clinks our glasses.
I can't help but smile at him as he blushes and tries to hide it. I lean in for a kiss and he immediately gives me one.
"I love you more," He whispers against me, pulling me onto his lap and giving me a deeper kiss. "I would say something too, but I don't want to sound stupid,"
"Hush, I already know you're madly in love with me. You made me bomb ass tacos," I joke, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and pulling him into my chest. He giggles and kisses my collarbone.
After dinner, we go to the backyard to watch what's left of the sunset. We put a lawn chair by the water and sit together watching the orange horizon disappear behind the shoreline. The hues of blues and purples melt together in the sky until it grows darker and the moonlight casts a silvery glow on the water.
The sound of the waves is soothing, our breathing in sync as I sit in his lap, his hand drumming lightly on my hip.
"This will continue to be my favorite place, I'm glad I get to share it with you." Matt says, his voice soft and contemplative.
"Thank you for sharing it with me," I reply, squeezing his hand. "I'm really happy we came."
"Me too." He turns to face me, his blue eyes reflecting the moonlight. He goes deep in thought for a moment and he almost goes to say something but stops himself.
I give him a questioning look and nudge him lightly.
"What was that?" I ask gently and he shakes his head.
"Nothing," He tries to brush it off but I grab his chin and turn his face toward me.
"Didn't seem like it," I play with the hair at the nape of his neck.
"I don't wanna freak you out," he says lowly and I give him a pressing look before he sighs deeply, finally giving in.
"I was just imagining our future. I can just see us, you know, bringing our kids here in the summers. They'd grow up with memories of this place like I do," he admits, staring directly at the water as he confesses his inner thoughts.
My heart tightens with emotion at his statement.
"You think about stuff like that?" My voice cracks, tears stinging my eyes and he immediately snaps his head to look at me.
"Hey, why are you crying?" He looks worried, cupping my cheek and using his thumb to catch a tear falling.
"Of course, I think of 'stuff like that' though. Does that scare you?" His voice laced with uncertainty and I shake my head immediately at his foolish question.
"No, no," I say softly, running my hand through his hair tenderly, then tracing his face. Starting from his left eyebrow, down his cheekbone, and over the scruff on his jaw.
His eyes flutter at my soft touch and he grabs my hand, bringing it to his mouth to kiss my knuckles.
"It's actually really sweet, Matt. I didn't think you'd want things like that with me, a family..." I admit and his eyes widen at my foolishness.
"Sweetheart, I hope you know you're it for me. Pretty sure if you ever decide one day you're sick of me, I'll spend the rest of my fucking life alone." He tells me openly and I blubber at his sweet words that pierce my heart more.
"Stop crying," He laughs lightly, getting slightly nervous by my reaction but I try to compose myself.
"You wanna have babies with me," I squeak, crying more and he tosses his head back in laughter as I continue to be a mess.
"Yes, I want 'babies' with you. If you want babies," He smiles, continuing to wipe my tears. "Okay, I love you, but you have snot all over your face," he says motioning all over his face with his finger and I gasp covering my nose.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Now, no more tears" He says and I roll my eyes, hitting his shoulder lightly, laughing a little bit now.
"They're happy tears. I just love you, a lot. It's overwhelming sometimes," I bury my face into his neck and he rubs my back soothingly as I actually compose myself.
I must be severely PMS-ing because I'm never this emotional.
"I know what you mean," He says, my heart swelling once more. "It scares me how much I love you." He kisses my hair but I lift my head for a real one.
We share a tender kiss, the ocean breeze wrapping around us like a comforting embrace.
"I can see it too by the way. Having a family. But way, way in the future," I say when I pull away, fixing the hair on his forehead.
"Oh, yeah for sure. Although, shit happens, who knows." He shrugs and I raise my eyebrow.
"Well, thanks to modern science and my IUD, no kids for at least ten years," I say and his eyes widen a bit.
"Okay, ten years is kinda a long time..." He trails off, catching me off guard.
"Matt!" I say in shock.
"I'm kidding!" He laughs.
. ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚. ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚. ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚. ˖
Matt walks into the room after brushing his teeth just as I'm taking the throw pillows off the bed and pulling back the duvet.
I feel his arms wrap around me from behind and his face buries into my neck. He places open-mouth kisses on the curve of my neck, making his way up to my ear, where he grazes his teeth lightly.
I sigh, shuddering at the sensation and allowing my head to fall back against his shoulder.
He puts both hands on my hips this time, pulling my backside into his crotch. I moan at the feeling of him already hardening against me and I press my legs together in anticipation.
"I like this, no one around to interrupt...just us," His voice is velvet and I melt into his hold.
I hum, "Yeah, it's nice," My voice is airy.
"Can be as loud as we want, too..." He chuckles lowly, as I feel one of his hands sneak beneath my sleep shirt.
His fingertips delicately dance up my stomach, barely even touching my skin. Leaving goosebumps in their wake, yearning for his touch.
His hand stops right below my breast and I whine when he doesn't touch me further. I arch hoping to make more contact with his hand, but he doesn't give it to me.
"Matt," I say almost as a whisper, a plea.
"Mm," He hums, returning to kissing my neck. I can hear and feel the smug grin on his face, he knows what game he's playing.
"Touch me," I whine, arching again and lifting myself to reach his hand.
He finally cups my breast, taking my nipple in between his fingers and I gasp as he tugs and pinches gently.
He sucks on my ear lightly, giving it a kitten lick before blowing cold air. I spin around in his hold, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck and pulling him into me.
The kiss was explosive, and we both let out a breath we didn’t realize we were holding.
He wraps his arms around me, pulling our hips flush together and leaning into the kiss more, forcing me to bend back.
In the heat of the moment, we stumble back onto the bed behind us clumsily, my butt slipping off the edge of the bed. I yelp when I almost fall, and laugh into the kiss. Our teeth clink together momentarily as he chuckles too.
He grabs under my thighs, lifting me further onto the bed as I make room for him to settle between them.
"That's better," He breathes out before kissing me again, laying me down on the cool linen sheets.
I revel in the feeling of his weight on top of me, our hips perfectly puzzled together, my hands running through his soft hair, while his rest on my hips.
I tug at the roots of his hair to elicit a delicious sound from him, something primal and guttural.
He squeezes my hips and pulls back to look down at me with half-lidded eyes. His pupils are so blown out you can barely make out the icy blue of his irises.
He keeps eye contact with me as he makes his way lower, lifting my sleep shirt above my breasts. My nipples pebble and harden as they're exposed to the cool air. He places wet kisses down my sternum, then my stomach until he reaches right above my cotton underwear.
He kneels on the floor so he's perfectly aligned in front of my core, his fingers play with the band of my underwear and he smiles to himself shaking his head.
I lean up on my elbows, "What?" I can't help but smile back.
"Kittens?" He raises his eyebrows and smirks at me.
I shrug, not ashamed in the slightest at the pattern of my underwear.
"Yeah, you like 'em?" I deadpan, but break into a grin when he tips his head back and laughs.
Endearingly, of course.
"Very sexy," he replies, and I shriek as he yanks me to the very edge of the bed.
He slips his fingers into the hem of my underwear, finally pulling them down my legs and discarding them. He lightly slaps the inside of my thigh before prying them apart and pinning them.
Just as quick as we're joking about my underwear, I'm back to trembling under his touch.
Completely exposed to him now, he teases me, kissing my inner thighs and nipping at the sensitive skin.
My hips buck at the gentle assault but he keeps me in place, stunting my movements.
"Patience..." he chides and I roll my eyes.
He slaps my thigh a little harder this time and I hiss, my core pulsing at the act. He licks a stripe on each crease of my thigh, purposely ignoring my aching cunt.
His thumbs spread my lips apart before he collects my arousal using it to circle my clit. I whimper at the contact, stopping myself from bucking my hips again.
Matt's in a trance, mouth agape, eyes heavy, as he continues to tease me and I become more and more restless.
Almost as if he couldn't contain himself any longer, he finally buries his head between my thighs. He hungrily licks from my entrance up to my clit, before sucking on my swollen nub like I'm a honeysuckle.
"Fuck," I gasp under my breath, squirming under his grip. My breath shallowed and my heart stuttered.
"I told you, we could be as loud as we want," He slurs against me, flattening his tongue against me and shaking his head side to side quickly.
I let go of a whine before snapping my legs around his head, overwhelmed by pleasure. He growls, immediately prying them back open and relentlessly swirling his tongue against me.
I grab a hold of the hair at the crown of his head as he continues to drink me in. Skillfully lapping every inch of my folds, knowing exactly what to do to get me wound up in merely minutes.
I feel the build-up of my first orgasm, all my muscles going taut as I begin to shake uncontrollably.
Matt knows that I'm about to come, so he pulls his mouth away and replaces it with his fingers. He slips his ring and middle fingers inside me with ease, massaging my front wall and coaxing my orgasm out of me with each gentle drag.
"Oh my fucking god," I cry out, my hips moving with his fingers.
He stands above me now, swiping my hair away from my face and gently caressing my cheekbone. I grab onto his bicep beside me as he leans down to kiss me, swallowing my whimpers. 
"C'mon, baby. I can feel you squeezing the fuck outta my fingers. Come for me," His voice is a gentle command against my jaw. 
His mouth attaches to my nipple as his thumb smushes into my puffy clit, drawing lazy circles, stimulating me everywhere.
That's all it takes before the wave peaks, then crashes and floods of icy-hot, blinding pleasure courses through me. He moans against me as he feels me pulse and ooze around his fingers.
My nails dig into his bicep and I arch into him, my hips mindlessly riding out the pleasure as his name falls from my lips in a desperate, broken cry.
His mouth and fingers gently work me through the aftershocks before I'm grabbing his wrist and whining from the sensitivity. 
"You're so fucking hot," He breathes, kissing me again.
I exhale into him, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him down onto me.
He pulls back, tossing his shirt off his head and undoing his belt, looking down at me as I lay half-naked and panting. I lean up on my elbows and move myself further up the bed.
He's only in his black boxers now, placing a knee on the bed before crawling towards me.
"Wanna taste you," I say, reaching up to kiss his neck and he lets out a shaky breath.
He shakes his head, "I won't fucking make it," he pants, grabbing my jaw and claiming my mouth again.
He pulls back, "As much as I love this fucking mouth," He adds darkly, tracing my swollen lips before licking them sensually and kissing me deeper.
I moan at the kiss and the feel of his cold rings against my hot skin. I run my hands down his chest as our breathing picks up, the kiss becoming more heated.
I run my tongue along his bottom lip and he allows me in before moving his hand down from my jaw to my neck, squeezing gently.
I pull back this time to take my shirt off, leaving me completely bare in front of him. I then hook my fingers in the band of his boxers and pull them down just enough to free him. His dick springs up, the tip so red it looks painful.
I spit into my hand before taking him into my hand and giving him a couple of strokes, swiping his weeping tip with my thumb. He whimpers at the touch before grabbing my wrist and making me release him.
I pout, bringing my thumb to my mouth to suck off his precum. His mouth falls agape at the sight, and his eyes screw shut as he falls onto one of his hands weakly.
"What's wrong?" I make sure my voice is dripping like sweet, gooey honey. Tempting a very hungry grizzly bear.
He grits his teeth, straightening himself back up on his knees in front of me. I look up at him, my hand rubbing up and down his thigh.
"You're going to be the death of me," His voice is gritty, and I tilt my head innocently. I yelp when he grabs my hips and flips me over.
It's moments like these that remind me of his surprising strength.
He pulls me onto my knees so my cheek is pressed into the mattress and my ass is elevated, leaving me exposed and shaking with anticipation.
His hand comes down onto my asscheek and I hiss at the sting. I feel his dick poke the back of my thigh as his hand smooths over my ass to ease the burn.
"Matt, please," I pant when he kisses down my spine and I push my hips back impatiently.
"Need my cock that bad, hm?" he murmurs against my skin and I nod quickly.
"Need you inside me, please," I whine, not caring how desperate I sound, only focused on how his low chuckle makes my core pulse around nothing.
"Yeah?" He croons and my breath hitches when I feel him run his tip along my aching pussy. Knocking against my clit with each teasing stroke.
"Yes-" I whimper and then gasp when I feel the familiar, delicious stretch of him.
I grip the sheets as he grips my hips harshly, slowly entering me.
"Fuuuck," He strains out, and I can picture the vein in his neck protruding, wishing I could lick it.
He fills me completely, his hips flush against my ass. I whimper as I feel him buried deep inside me, hitting a sensitive spot that turns my legs into jelly.
He begins guiding me in a gentle rhythm, slow and deliberate, determined to make this last. His thrusts are deep, intentionally angling down to hit the spot that he knows makes me see stars.
"You feel so fucking good, so deep," I praise him and he slightly picks up the pace.
My core tightens around him involuntarily and he hisses, his grip on my hip becoming almost painfully tight.
"Fuck, don't do that. I'll come too fast," He pulls back slightly, trying to steady himself.
"I don't care," I push back against him again, just wanting to feel him.
He curses under his breath, his hands firm on my hips to stop my movements. He pulls me up by my hair, my back against his chest now and I laugh maniacally before moaning at the fresh angle.
"Must you always be so defiant?" His breath is hot against my ear and I can't help the grin on my face. I love getting him riled up.
"I like it when you push me around," I admit, my voice dripping with playful challenge.
He releases his grip on my hair, and I catch myself on my hands, bracing for whatever comes next.
"Yeah? You like it when I'm rough?" He presses, his voice low and taunting.
"Mhm," I hum pressing my hips back again but he pulls out, leaving me feeling empty.
I go to whine in protest but I'm shut up with the hardest slap of the night, right on top of the red mark he left before.
I cry out and bury my face into the sheets again, but quiver with longing for more.
"That's what you wanted, right?" He continues to taunt and spanks me again but this time, on the other side.
I moan and go to rub my clit for some sort of relief but he grabs both my wrists, knocking me down further.
Another smack. I groan this time in frustration.
He gathers my wrists in one hand as I feel him lean over me. His hand sneaks around to find my neck as he presses his mouth against my ear.
"Are you just that fucking desperate?" He queries, his fingers pressing into my pulse points, just enough for my head to lighten.
"Please, Matt." I plea, but don't exactly know what I'm pleading for.
"What's the matter, baby, you can't handle it anymore? Thought you liked me pushing you around," He tuts.
His free hand lifts my hips before he teases my entrance with his tip and I let out a shaky breath.
"Hm? Nothing to say?" He pushes his tip in but pulls back and I whine at the teasing.
He releases my neck to brush my hair away so he can see the side of my face. A reminder that he's still the caring Matt I love.
"Just fuck me, please," I beg and he sighs deeply.
"You're so fucking lucky I love you,” he says through his teeth before he drives into me again in one swift motion.
Both of us moan in relief, the tension finally being broken.
He grinds his hips down into me teasingly and my eyes roll back at the intense, tight angle.
I feel his body heat leave my back as he straightens out behind me. Placing his hands on my lower back, he leans forward causing my back to arch before slamming into me. Again and again and again.
Each breath is knocked out of me, and each blow is deeper than the last, discovering a new spot inside of me and pushing me closer and closer to the edge. His pace quickens with every approving sound I make, answering me with his own moans of approval.
He turns me onto my back, staying inside me, wrapping my leg around his waist before leaning forward to kiss me slowly.
"Mm, missed your face," he admits softly, his thrusts starting off slow but steadily increasing momentum. "Wanna see that pretty face when I make you come," he coos, and I shriek at a particularly hard thrust that sends me further up the bed.
He watches my face the entire time, studying every furrow, every eye roll, mirroring my expressions as if he can feel everything he is doing to me.
I can tell he's trying to distract himself, to last longer, slowing down to kiss me and then picking up the pace.
My second orgasm build-up is slower and more subtle. It almost comes out of nowhere, but he knows my body so well. He reaches down to stimulate my clit, deepening his strokes, driving me to the brink.
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh-" My back arches, and my ears ring as my orgasm rips me apart.
"Good girl, fucking come for me–oh fuck. I'm coming–I'm gonna come. W-where do you want me to-" He rushes out, as my pussy continues to spasm around him.
Through my haze, I push my heels into his hips and grab the back of his neck.
"I-inside, come inside me," I pant and he shudders, whimpering.
"Oh my–fucking, fuck," He strains as he comes and I moan at the feeling of him filling me up.
He pushes as deep as he can inside me, and the aftershocks of my orgasm milk him further causing him to hiss.
He collapses into my collarbone, his hair drenched in sweat as he takes a moment to regain strength.
I place a hand in his hair and scratch his back lightly as we settle into a steady breathing rhythm.
"Holy fuck," he says eventually into my neck, laughing a little and I giggle too.
"Wait, wait don't laugh-" He pulls away with his face scrunched and I realize he's still inside me.
He hisses again in sensitivity, looking down at where we're connected before pulling out of me carefully. I whimper at the feeling and he softly apologizes.
I feel his come leak out of me and I watch his expression falter for a second as he notices the sight.
"Fuck me," he says under his breath, shaking his head and I bite my lip to stop myself from giggling.
I slowly reach my hand down to play with myself and his eyes widen as he quickly grabs my hand to stop me.
"Are you trying to kill me tonight? No, I'm cleaning you up and we're going to bed. Stay right there, don't fucking move." He gets up, pointing at me as he walks away.
I cover my mouth and laugh at his reaction. He comes back with a wet washcloth, using it to wipe me carefully.
He huffs out again, shaking his head and I give him a knowing look.
"Devil woman, don't look at me like that." He tries to sound stern, but his voice cracks with nerves.
"I love you," I tell him, meaning it. His eyes soften and he leans over me, a hand on either side of my head. He scans my face, a soft smile carves into his face before he leans down to kiss me.
"We really need our own place," he says when he pulls back and my stomach flips.
"What was that?" I ask him with wide eyes.
"I said we really need a shower, c'mon," He lies, laughing as he tries to pull me up but I'm tugging him back towards me.
'Hey, get back here. That's not what you said," I laugh at his antics but he runs away towards the bathroom before I hear him call back.
"I plead the fifth!"
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ellecdc · 2 months
Note
okay then consider this a request!! for poly!marauders or just remus/james/sirius, whatever you prefer, for a reader with excruciating period cramps (self-indulgent because mine are horrible, but whatever!!) if you could do it that would be awesome ily!
ok I'm sorry I really made this very much self indulgent in maybe the worst way ever lol. I've been having a lot of fun with chef!Sirius lately, and had briefly discussed this idea with @maladaptiveescapism a while back so it felt fitting. I've also gotten a lot of period fic requests before and have never been all that interested in them which is so strange seeing as I'm a person who experiences period's and they're really popular? WOW sorry, what a tangent. TL;DR, thanks for your request, sorry if I ruined it a little, I probably won't ever write a period fic again lol
chef!sirius x mixologist!reader who calls in sick to work because of her period [2.9k words]
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5
CW: period fic, reader has PCOS, brief allusion to Sirius' shitty childhood, trans!Reggie agenda 'cause I can, Sirius worried reader won't be accepting of his trans brother (spoiler alert, we are because we love our trans homies), Sirius being the worst (positive & affectionate)
Sirius was on his best behaviour today.
Honest to god, hand to his heart, best behaviour.
But there was truly only so much one bloke could do when they had a Jeffery to deal with.
“I’m going to need one of your staff for the evening.” Jeffery said without preamble; standing half-in the kitchen with the swinging door to the floor propped open as if he wanted to ensure there were witnesses to this conversation should it go sideways.
“Jeffery, do you wake up every morning and smoke a bunch of crack before you come to work, or are you really just this dense?” Sirius spat as he dropped his pan in front of him and fought the urge to turn and give the floor manager a withering glare. 
Jeffery, well seasoned to Sirius’ theatrics, bit back an eye roll as he carried on. “We need someone to cover the bar.”
Sirius did turn at that, but his withering glare fell somewhere between aghast and bemused. “The bar?”
“The bar.”
“Why?”
“I need coverage for Y/N.” Jeffery explained with a sigh, clearly growing tired of Sirius’ line of questioning.
“Where is she?”
“She has called in sick, chef.”
“Sick with what?” Sirius continued, causing Jeffery’s brows to furrow as he stared at Sirius bemusedly. 
“I’m not exactly privy to those details, chef.” He explained slowly as if Sirius were some fussy toddler. 
“I just find it hard to believe that the same woman who left the hospital after getting her shoulder reset to come work a full eight hour shift would call in sick.”
Jeffery offered him a shoulder shrug (and a concerned look up and down that Sirius pretended he didn’t notice) before pilfering one of the kitchen staff for the evening. 
Sirius would worry about hating Jeffery later; he was more focused on figuring out what the hell was wrong with you and why you weren’t coming to see him to work. 
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Sirius had his phone wedged between the side of his face and his shoulder whilst he juggled the many go-bags he had in his hands as he stood awkwardly outside of the door to your flat.
He admittedly knew where you lived only because he had driven you home after numerous closing shifts.
Fortunately, the intercom system in the anteroom of your building gave away your unit number.
Unfortunately, Sirius still had his hands full with the various go-bags.
Fortunately, an elderly lady was coming in at the same time and let Sirius into the building. 
Unfortunately, she insisted on chatting his ear off the whole lift ride up and actually held the door open to continue conversing even after they had arrived at her floor.
Sirius’ saving grace came in the form of the lift alarm buzzing for having kept the door ajar too long, and she was forced to bid him farewell. 
Which brought him here; standing outside of your flat like some kind of stalker as he waited for you to pick up your phone.
“Hello?”
“Hey, open your door.”
“Well hello to you too, chef.” You snarked at him again. 
“Yes, yes. I said hey, didn’t I? Open your door.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m standing on the other side of it.” 
There was the sound of a quick exhale and rummaging. “Why?”
“Listen, I’d love to play 20 questions, but do you think you could let me in first?”
You muttered something that sounded an awful lot like a swear before the line ended.
He allowed his phone to slip out of its place and into his awaiting hand when you flung the door open unceremoniously.
Now, Sirius could tell you’d not been expecting any company today; you were in the same clothes you’d likely slept in, your hair was perfectly rumpled from whatever position Sirius had just disturbed you from, and you looked more than a tad embarrassed to see him standing here.
He had sort of hoped you would look like a troll; make this raging flame he carried for you burn a little softer.
But no.
You just had to look ethereal and perfect and lovely and kissable.
Damn woman. 
“What are you doing here?” You finally asked, interrupting the both of you from staring at one another. 
“Helping?”
You made a breathy W sound - as if you were going to ask “what” or “why” but the words died on your lips as you took in Sirius’ many bags. 
“What did you bring?”
“I’ll show you everything if you just let me in.” He muttered as he motioned towards one of your nosey neighbours who had shoved her head out of her door when she first heard Sirius in the hall.
You peered around your doorframe and narrowed your eyes at her before allowing Sirius entry. 
“Finally.” Sirius teased as he moved to place his bags on your kitchen island. 
Sirius had never seen the inside of your flat, but if he had simply stumbled into your space by accident he would have known it was yours immediately. 
There was something so intrinsically you about your space that Sirius immediately felt at home too, even just for having stepped inside. 
“Sorry.” You chuckled somewhat awkwardly; bringing one of your hands to the back of your neck as you considered Sirius and all of his bags. “We’d just been watching some shows.”
Sirius immediately felt his heart fall out of his arse.
We? 
Had he read this completely wrong? Were you seeing someone? Was your home not simply yours, but one that you shared?
He found himself suddenly feeling quite defensive over your flat; it was too lovely, too wonderful, too comfortable for simply just anyone to enjoy.
“We?” He asked suddenly; tone taking on a bit of an edge he didn’t intend or consent to.
You cocked an eyebrow at him and pointed behind you with your thumb; Sirius followed your gesture to a little tabby cat perched on the back of your sofa, tilting its head at the two of you as if it, too, was confused by Sirius’ sudden intonation. 
“You were watching shows with your cat?” He clarified; his voice now breathy in relief. 
“Birdie loves shows.” You countered defensively. 
“You named a cat bird?”
“No.” You argued. “I named my kitten Birdie. Do you not like cats?” You asked then, a teasing smirk growing on your face. 
“I like cats fine; where can I put this?” He asked instead; hoping to god you didn’t notice the blush heating up his face. 
He started unloading the many take-away boxes he’d prepared for you at the restaurant before skiving off the rest of his shift.
“What is this?”
“Food.”
“Sirius, why did you-”
“I asked what helped.” Sirius explained. “You said food; I brought food. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed yet dollface, but food is kind of my thing.”
“Smartass.”
“That too.” He replied with a wink, moving to put the desserts in your fridge. 
“Did you seriously come all the way over here just to bring me food?” You asked disbelievingly as you joined Sirius at the counter and peered into the bags.
Sirius had to tamp down the giddiness that threatened to consume him at how sweet and domestic this felt; you clad in your comfies as you helped him unload groceries. 
“I didn’t come all the way over here just to bring you food…I brought other stuff too.” 
“‘Course you did.” You muttered quietly, looking at Sirius with a look in your eyes that he couldn’t quite decipher.
“Go lay down.” He ordered instead as he went about plating your food - opening cabinets at random until he found what he was looking for. “I don’t hear laying down!” He sing-songed when he saw you still  standing in his periphery. 
You harrumphed before acquiescing; picking up your cat who made a little brrp sound as if to second Sirius’ directions. 
Finally content with his efforts, he moved to stand in front of you with a glass of water and some pasta he brought from work. 
You made an appreciative hum and sat up, which seemed to displease Birdie greatly. “God, maybe I need to find myself a personal chef.”
“Oi! Don’t go replacing me now.” Sirius scolded as he perched himself on your coffee table - perhaps a little casual for being a first time (uninvited) guest in someone’s home - but you didn’t seem to mind.
“Oh the job is so yours chef; you’re welcome here anytime.” You said around a mouthful of food. And even though Sirius knew you were joking, he couldn’t help the giddy fluttering of his heart at the sentiment. 
“This is really good, Sirius, and super thoughtful; thank you.” You offered earnestly. 
“So I guess you don’t have any room for dessert, then?” He asked teasingly; his taunting smirk melting away immediately at the excitement that took over your face before he ran to retrieve it for you. 
“Why is she doing that?” Sirius asked after a while, gesturing towards Birdie with his chin who was rubbing her head against the leg of his pants.
“Why’s she doing what?” You asked bemusedly as Sirius fought every urge to wipe the little bit of chocolate from your upper lip. Unfortunately thankfully for him, you licked it out of his sight. 
“Head butting me; seems quite rude.” Sirius murmured as he watched the cat in bemusement. 
“That’s basically a cat hug, Sirius; she’s hugging you, or saying hello.” You chuckled at him.
“Get out.” He scoffed in disbelief. 
“Cats have little scent markers in their cheeks; when they rub against something, they’re affectionately claiming it as their own.”
“So like a dog pissing on trees?” He deadpanned.
“Affectionately claiming you as their own; offer her your hand, Sirius.”
“But what if she-”
“Chef, offer her your hand.” You barked at him with no heat. 
Sirius narrowed his eyes challengingly at you but did as he was told; pleasantly surprised when the cat moved the rubbing from his trousers to his hand. 
“Have you never met a cat before?” You asked as you considered him.
“No…I have.” Sirius offered slowly, admittedly enjoying the velvety soft fur of your little companion. 
“Could’ve fooled me.” You teased as you placed your now empty dish on the side table. 
“My family had a cat growing up; a horrid thing. I swear to god my mum taught him how to attack me. Loved my brother though, but was nasty as all get out to anyone else.” 
“Really? Was he a stray before he lived with you?”
“Nope.” Sirius offered with a pop of the p. “Raised that fucker from kittenhood. Lived a god awful long time too, just to spite me; I wished every year on my birthday that it would die.”
“Sirius!”
“I’m not joking! My brother and I would sneak cupcakes up to my room and he’d light a candle for me and tell me to make a wish. One of them was always ‘please for the love of god let Kreacher die before me’.” He didn’t think now was the time to admit that his other wish was always ‘please for the love of god let us make it out of here alive’. 
“That’s awful; you’re awful.” You laughed. 
“No, Kreacher was awful; I was but a boy.”
“I can’t believe you got after me for naming my cat Birdie when you had a cat named Kreacher.” 
“I didn’t have a cat named Kreacher, my brother did.” He responded haughtily. 
“Who named him?”
“I did.”
“Why?” You laughed again. 
“‘Cause he was a tiny, awful, hateful little gremlin and needed a name that said as much!” 
The two of you laughed until your hands migrated to your abdomen and you began massaging into your skin; a small divot appearing between your brows.
“What is it?” Sirius asked quietly then.
You tried to shake your head and offered him a tight smile. “S’okay.”
“Is it cramps?”
“Yeah.”
“Lie back.” He instructed as he stood from his seat on the coffee table - his mother would be rolling in her grave if she’d seen him with such a lack of manners.
Good.  
“Sirius, really, you’ve-”
“Lie back.” He whispered again, one hand on your shoulder as he gently guided you so that you were lying along your sofa with your head propped up on the armrest.
Stealing himself for perhaps embarrassing himself completely and making this whole precarious situation between the two of you go tits up, he finally shucked off his jacket and boots before rolling up the sleeves of his shirt and lowering himself onto the bottom half of your couch.
You watched silently as Sirius situated himself between your legs so that his shoulders and head rested on your abdomen as he weaselled his arms under your back, placing both of his palms up against your lower back.
“Relax.”
“What?”
“You’re tense as shit, doll; relax.” He murmured as he rested his cheek against your stomach.
You let out a breath and sank further into the couch as the two of you fell into comfortable silence.
“Thank you.” You whispered after a few moments.
“You already thanked me.” He whispered back.
“No, I-” You cut yourself off as you gathered your thoughts; a tentative hand absentmindedly making itself at home in his hair as you found your words. “Thank you.” You settled on.
“You’re welcome.” Sirius offered.
“Where’d you learn this?”
Sirius propped his chin up so he could at you; your hand pausing as your eyes flit to it as if you were only now realising what you’d been doing. “Learn what?”
“The pressure? The body heat. The…helping, with cramps?” You asked tentatively, and if Sirius didn’t know better, he’d think you perhaps looked a touch bashful at your questions - your eyes seemingly incapable of meeting his. 
And once again, Sirius found himself taking another jump, or rather, a complete leap of faith that could very well have this thing the two of you had been building crumble and fall before it even had a chance to start.
“Uhm, it was my brother, actually.” He admitted quietly.
Your eyes did finally meet his at that, where they narrowed a touch in confusion.
“You learned this….from your brother?” 
Sirius nodded as he swallowed nervously. “Right. He uhm, well, it often helped him with his cramps and such, so…yeah.” 
It was apparently his turn to be incapable of meeting your eyes as he moved his head so that it was resting against your stomach again.
“You’re a good brother.” You finally offered.
“Well of course I am.” Sirius offered through a breath of relief. “I’m good at everything I do.” 
“You’re a git.”
“I’m good at that too.”
You gave a disciplinary tug at Sirius’ hair which made him think of several sinful things he’d like to be doing with you whilst you did that next time, but he simply chuckled and sank further into you.
“I didn’t exactly sit like this with him, mind you.”
“No? What does that make me, then?”
“Special.” 
“I guess so.” You breathed out through a chuckle. “Coming over on your day off just to spoil me.”
“It wasn’t my day off.” He responded without thinking, tensing when he felt you suck in a breath.
“Sirius.”
“Mhm?” He offered in faux nonchalance.
“You left work for this!?”
“For you?” He asked as he considered you. “Absolutely.”
“For gods sake, Sirius. I bet Jeffery-” 
But he never got to hear what you thought of Jeffery as he let out a very petulant and dramatic groan and lowered his forehead to your stomach. 
“Babe, I know this isn’t exactly the same thing, but generally a man does not want to hear the name of another bloke when he’s in between your legs, yeah?”
You barked out a laugh and swatted at his shoulder. “You’re awful.”
“Terrible.”
“The worst.”
“Absolutely horrid.”
“Giving Kreacher a run for his money.”
Sirius’ head shot up at that as he levelled you with a warning glare. “Too far.”
“I’m sorry.” You laughed, not sounding particularly sorry at all.
“You better be.” Sirius grumbled as he lowered himself back down. “Now be a doll and play with my hair again; it’s nap time.”
And there was an equal chance that you were going to laugh, swat at him, or downright tell him to get his arse back to work.
But Sirius was admittedly overjoyed when you simply placed your fingers back into his hair and began to massage until you fell asleep; him not much longer after you.
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