You’re better than him, Astarion.
Her words ring in his ears long after she’d said them, but even they couldn’t cast away the dark feelings lingering in his mind.
He hadn’t left their shared room since Cazador’s death. He should be celebrating, maybe, or at least rejoicing in the fact his master was dead and gone— never to hunt him again. Instead, he found a heaviness that refused to leave his limbs, his own psyche weighing him down.
Ah, I see you found yourself a little pet. Or is it a snack? Peculiar choice, regardless.
He thinks of the first time he drank from her, how he’d almost gone too far in his bloodlust. How she woke weak and pale—a hard feat with her dark skin—yet continued to push herself beyond her limits. He thinks of the times she’d bruised from his fangs, how he had manipulated her into his orbit in the first place.
He had done that, and Cazador’s words dig deeper into his chest. Only a someone truly evil could do what he’s done. Once a monster, always a monster.
He doesn’t hear her come in, still staring at the ceiling, but he feels her sit on the bed beside him. She says nothing, taking off her boots and outer clothes. Her scent fills the room, refueling the dull ache in his body and he briefly wonders how many days have passed since he last fed.
Not that it mattered, he would refuse to use her like that ever again.
“Astarion,” his name coming from her mouth is a gift, and yet it stings. She should hate him, or at least be disgusted. Not soft, and gentle and loving.
“Please, look at me.”
He just wants to rot, lay in this dark room until he crumbles to dust. She would be better off, anyway, without a leech at her side. She could have a real life.
“What can I do? I’m begging you, love, please don’t push me away.”
“Go, Ceruli. You deserve better than a parasite.” His voice was rough from disuse, and when he finally looks her way, her face—that godsdamn beautiful face— looks at him as if he’d just slapped her.
Good one, he thinks miserably.
“Do you feel better, getting that off your chest?” She always was quick to regain her composure, “Because I have a few counter arguments.”
He says nothing, and goes back to staring at the ceiling.
“Parasites don’t ask permission, first of all. They just show up and take. That’s not you, no matter what Cazador said.” She moves closer to him, legs tucked under her and her warmth radiating, “I love you. I made a choice to love you, and I won’t stop loving you just because you believe you’re unworthy.”
He feels tears forming, and closes his eyes to keep them from falling.
“If I have to remind you everyday how much you mean to me, I will. I’ll make a list of everything I love about you, engrave it in stone forevermore.” She reaches for him, her hand cupping his cheek, thumb moving back and forth rhythmically. Her signature loving gesture.
A dam breaks, and suddenly he’s pulling her to him. He all but crushes her to him, arms wrapped tightly around her, face buried in her chest— her heart beats steadily, an endless comfort.
Sobs wrack his body; all the guilt, shame, and grief bleeding from him after decades of forming a shell around them. He clings to her, desperate for her touch, her warmth, after refusing her touch for who knows how many days.
She gives it without hesitation. Fingers running through his unkempt hair, down his back. Kisses peppered along his hairline, his temples, his forehead. Anywhere she can reach. She murmurs sweet nothings to him, the kindest of words and just when he feels as though he’ll crumble from her love, she says a name he has not heard in centuries.
“My sweet, shining star.”
It’s like the world spins to a stop. He peers up at her, “What did you say?”
“Your name. In elvish, it means ‘little star’. Or at least I think it does, I’m not fluent but…”
He chokes out a quiet laugh, “You, my love, are incredible.”
He closes the small gap between them with a kiss, reveling once again in the taste of her mouth, her skin. He trails them down her face, along her jaw, then her throat. He hovers over her pulse point, hesitating.
Her hand cups his face again, “Go on, love. You’ll feel better if you feed. Please don’t torture yourself anymore.”
His resolve breaks. He would do anything for her, after all. He sinks his teeth in, and the ecstasy of her blood in his mouth has him groaning with pleasure. He drinks until she stops him, and he kisses all along her face afterwards.
“Thank you, my lovely gem.” He feels lighter, the weight of all his baggage finally dissolving, albeit slowly, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Always, my star. I’m not going anywhere.”
They stay there, holding each other, neither one willing to let go first.
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honestly. i'm sorry but prev post, except with less harsh wording, was also my first thoughts about neuvilette and furina's romantic relationship sdflsdjgksjdkf i think it's far outpaced every other neuvillette and furina ship, so it must be popular for a reason, but even fandom's platonic rendition of their relationship makes them a lot closer than I felt they ended up in the archon quest. I thought I might've been missing something in neuvillette's stories/voicelines since I don't have him, but after reading his lore I'm still not super sure where the "they made up immediately and are now deeply in love" take came up 😭
ik about how neuvi granted her vision, and honestly I think they can be good after maybe another 50 years, but really idk. they're very estranged rn like I get that neuvillette feels bad as evidenced by his convo w focalors, but at the same time I.. don't really think he cares as much about furina as much as fandom thinks? his one voiceline says he should pay her his respects, but i feel like that's it............. focalors is the one who called him up from wherever he was before, to go take the judge's seat, and the melusines and humans showed him humanity and love, but although furina may have been part of that, i dont think she was unique in that regards.... he doesn't have the same appreciation of human emotions as what focalors was fascinated by and liked furina for, idk. furina on her part just feels like she's both skittish and tired, both valid, and thinks neuvillette has a bad impression of her. idk they're giving really estranged coworkers to me, as in: they realized they don't really know each other, but it's too late to do anything about that because they're not coworkers anymore
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Hermes' Traveling Buddy (Astral)
I listen to the ocean waves, and it feels like it's calling me home it feels like souls are reaching out to me, grasping to me for life. Some days, it feels dry and empty. It turns into a salt flat for miles before it reaches the sea again, but when the tide rises, the lands flood, and a vast salty ocean grows.
Moonflowers love this landscape, the air is fresh and salty, the landscape is lush, and the stars are clear. Im not sure what this is where it is...but ive seen Hermes walk the beach. He took me here, i think. I've wandered further and found ruins of a temple of his he visits some times. There's a ruined shrine to him. i find him sitting by talking to someone who used to worship there
Theres something about this water, theres people in it, i can feel them, i know what life feels like, this is it...living water
Then it happens.
Here we go again. Fuck shit hhhh hahahaha
I hate this part
The stars have formed together, they move in unsettling patterns, and once familiar constellations now mean nothing. A shape forms in the sky, a titan, eyes pure white silouhette growing darker and darker, a grin spreads across his expanse showcasing a mouth and teeth within the very sky itself.
Its a terrifying sight.
I remember being swept off my feet, i remember gripping on tight and watching this world fade away for what i feel may be the last time as Hermes pulls me out of that place through a nauseating trip through some sort of gateway he was able to store in a coin.
I felt dizzy i couldnt feel him anymore i had just slipped away, drifting into a state of pure blank emptiness. Then i hit the ground hard, and i felt the sun setting on my face, i got off of the dusty brick red floor and looked outside, i hear life, people, chatter...a door creeks and he pulls me inside with a grin, he looks like a short rowdy child but his eyes are unmistakeable, and his grin stays the same. Always.
Im pulled along on another one of his schemes and i have to admit i missed this i missed feeling this way, not sure what it is other than a lot of love.
Music plays from street preformers, he shows me firedancers and various shimmering shops full of twinkling trinkets.
The people seem to be very realistic. They dont feel like spirits they feel like memories of people. Real living actual people. It felt good to be surrounded by soul and to be gripping his hand tight as he bolted through the crowded curving streets of wherever we ended up this time
I missed this
So much
Its been years
I feel so alive when i feel the wind on my face and through my hair, i watch him shift right before my eyes, taking the form he prefers
"You changed recently, im still getting used to the new form" i think to myself, and almost like he knew, he looked over his shoulder and gave me a smile
"The effort is appriciated!"
Right, he did know.
I lost focus, im getting scared
Breathe
Re focus
That was so worth it, he took me up a hill in the city and to a place it opens up onto a cliff full of gardens and lush greenery, it smells like the sea and my eyes glittered as soon as i set them on the wide open sea before me. I adored the sunset, and it was sweet he stuck around with me
"Have fun?"
I didnt do well tonight, i was very mentally unwell, and i prayed to him for help, company, attention, just love i wanted to feel seen just a little bit. And i felt like he went abouve and beyond, i didnt really sleep tonight but i really dont care so much, i feel so loved...also kinda super light headed and dizzy now, it feels like hes holding me, i think i might try to ley down, maybe he wants me to try to sleep now...7am
Might as well
Sleep well void...
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