#this is why i hate coop

[allpromarlo]

jjk fans will jump at any opportunity to hate women because what did hana even do

[tackminyard]

show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw

[angel-on-parole-archive]

I was halfway through this when informed the weather decided plans for today were canceled. Yes I finished it anyway. I am going to start killing again

[dirt-str1der]

Knives when he sees vash

[herrscherofmetal]

To the idiot teammate I had who stole my locker a few seconds before the angler came and made me die at floor 90 I just wanna let you know that I am praying for that shit to happen to you next

They came out of the side room making me think they were gonna hide in there just to come out at the last second and take my hiding place like wtf did you not see me ready to get in there oh my fucking god I can’t

[princesamermaid]

its kind of weird bc it seems like a lot of people DONT find being bored the worst thing in the world to ever happen i was like to my coworker the other day i really want to go camping all alone and she was like O_O what and i was like my mom would hate it bedcause she would be scared of me getting murdered lol and she was like I would be scared of that too And i was like but it would be so fun. And like to me the scaryness is like whatever because Chance of being murdered is a lot better than being bored. i also talk 2 people who i think might be weirdos because like I dont want to be bored and I like to see what happens. curiosity + boredom might kill the cat.

[aria0fgold]

So... whenever I couldn't see where my other spouse was... it's all cuz he clipped through the void and couldn't get out for the Entire Day???

[sanchoyo]

after the vehicle hunt has been a big flop (the few vehicles I was interested in drove terribly on the test drives :( and car salesmen waaaay highballing cars worths which is. A crazy thing to do when I can literally look up the average worth of a car in 2 seconds??) after going to so so many websites and irl dealers. i found a van I really really love the look of and it’s only like an hour away!! (vintage van-rv combo!! Small enough to not be insane on gas while combining my many years long obsession with having a small rv-like thing AND my nostalgia for my now gone first van…)

And the thing is actually low priced for its type… but insanely out of my budget still 10,000 more than what I have. It’s insane how much vehicles cost. This thing is like 10 years older than I am and it still costs that much?? Wanting a thing really bad will have u googling shit like what body parts can I sell legally 💀

[s0urte3th]

mad

[selvepnea]

Guys, the nissan pao is the cutest car ever

[radiaking]

idk exactly what lae'zel would think of coop but either way it's probably amusing.

[frogeyedape]

I ran out of tags XD Good Omens Spoilers Beware! (time for dinner now)

The Magic Trick You Didn’t See: Being An Analysis of Good Omens Season 2

(or: Neil Gaiman, Your Brain is Gorgeous But I Have Cracked Your Sneaky Little Code And Have You Dead To Rights*) (*Maybe)

***

Soooooo I just spent the last 48 hours having a BREATHTAKING GALAXY BRAIN EPIPHANY about Good Omens Season 2 and feverishly writing a fuckin16,000 word essay about the incredible magic trick that @neil-gaiman pulled off. 

Yes, it’s long, but I PROMISE your brains will explode. Do you want to know how magic works? Do you want to know what Metatron’s deal is (I’m like 99% sure of this and it’s EXTREMELY FUCKING GOOD)? Do you want to know about the Mystery of the Vanishing Eccles Cakes and the big fat beautiful clue I found in the opening credits? Do you go through the whole inventory of Chekov’s Firearm & Heavy Artillery Discount Warehouse? 

Here is the essay, go read it: https://docs.google.com/document/d/193IXS11XN46lziHRb6eUpM17yK0BQkRqke1Wh64A_e0/ When ur done u can tell me I’m an insane crackpot, and u know what, i won’t even be offended

In case you don’t know whether you want to bother reading the whole enormous thing on google docs, I’ve put the first couple sections of it under the cut. JUST TRUST ME OKAY, HEAR ME OUT, THIS IS VERY EXTREMELY COOL, NEIL IS GOOD AT HIS JOB–

Keep reading

[quarterlifekitty]

When reader is kidnapped, what is the setup like?

Do they get their own bedroom? Basement? Free roam of the house? Put into the bedroom of the kidnapper? Broom closet?

Well, this is a very open ended question with a lot of dependencies! I think this depends on who you are, why you’ve been kidnapped, and what they’re holding over you— are you someone they’re expecting to try to run?

cw: this is dark stuff. Kidnapping, manipulation, etc.

I think Price, generally, gives you free roam of the house. He’s a thorough person— he has something that keeps you inside out of your own self interest. Much easier than having to worry about locked windows and doors. Maybe he’s made you a fugitive, maybe he’s tracked your family, maybe he’s led you to believe the property is trapped— but you stay because you’re afraid. And besides— what kind of wife doesn’t have free roam of their own house? And if he wants you to get used to being his wife, keeping you cooped up in just one room won’t do.

Similarly, Gaz is playing mind games. He keeps you in one room, one of your own, to start with— but he makes it clear that everything you have is a privilege that can be taken away. Starts you at the bottom, so that once he trickles in little kindnesses, you’re conditioned to be very grateful. If you to try to leave, you’ll be met with locks that are fingerprinted and combination based, and he will make your already small world smaller as punishment as much as he has to. But he always explains it gently. Like he hates to be doing it, but has no choice. Until you start to believe it.

Johnny keeps you in his room. So much of your role to him is as a bed warmer, it just makes sense. He also has the sort of primal idea that the more forced proximity, the more skin to skin contact, the more mingling of scents, the more a bond will form between you. He has plenty of locks and bolts to keep you in, but he also has a terrifyingly good read on you. He’s generally extremely perceptive and can tell what makes people tick when he cares enough to observe them closely. So he’ll purposely say things that scare you as much as possible. He wants you trembling and crawling to the only source of comfort you’re allowed— him.

Ghost is the most physical in his restraints. He keeps you in a basement, thin slits for windows you could never squeeze through, a line of locks like he’s trying to keep a pet werewolf. Of them, his lack of a positive self image makes him the least confident that you would ever choose to stay with him. In that same vein— he will tempt you into trying to run. It’s a form of self flagellation for him. He’ll leave the locks undone, you’ll run away, he’ll tracks you down and drag you back all while his heart aches at the reminder that you don’t want him. Maybe you never will, but he can’t bring himself to let go. He also loves the chase. He hasn’t told you this, and he doesn’t know if he ever will, but he faked your death and no one in the world is looking for you.

[aakeysmash]

Pregnancy cravings

Farmer!Sukuna’s masterlist

Farmer!Sukuna thought dealing with your pregnancy cravings would be a walk in the park. I mean, come on, you two are basically self sufficient: he’s literally a farmer, what could you possibly crave that he doesn’t already have planted or stored?

Your cravings hit at the start of your second trimester. You’re barely showing, and probably the fact that nothing you eat stays in your stomach for more than two hours isn’t helping your case.

It’s winter and it’s snowing: your fields are currently covered in snow, your chickens are huddled up in their coop, your cows are sleeping in their heated stable… and you? You’re reading a book right in front of your fireplace. Sukuna gets home with his arms full of logs to keep the fire alive all night. He sets them on the ground before plopping down next to you with snow clinging to his hair.

“Get off, your nose is cold,” you mumble, pushing him away when he tries to give you a kiss. He raises one of his eyebrows, kissing you on the cheek either way (two times, to spite you). You let out a dramatic whine.

He chuckles, ruffling his hair and wetting your book’s pages with a couple of snowflakes. Annoyed, you roughly close the book, and turn around to give him a piece of your mind, just to find yourself wrapped in his arms.

“I said get off,” you repeat, softer, leaning in despite your words. His body heat is doing a better job than the fire at thawing the chill from your limbs.

“And I don’t care,” he replies nonchalantly. He kisses your temple, cocooning you deeper into him by opening his legs and tucking you into the space in front of him. You grumble something unintelligible.

“How are the only two people I can stand doing today?” He asks you, rocking you side by side. Seeing you pregnant makes him feel uncomfortably soft. And seeing you pregnant with his child? Oh god.

“I want ice cream.”

He stops.

“Huh?”

“More like your offspring wants ice cream,” you sniffle from under his jaw.

“I don’t think we have any in the freezer,” he responds, looking you in the eyes. Your lip starts wobbling.

“But I want it,” you brokenly say, trying to swallow your sobs. His heart clenches.

“I don’t think you’ll be able to have it today,” he says, and immediately regrets it when your eyes well up with tears.

“C’mon, don’t cry now, it’s just ice cream,” he tries to comfort you. Apparently he does a horrible job, because you start bawling.

“But I want it! And I hate that I want it so bad! You know how much I hate playing the weak and fragile woman part, why are you being mean?” you wail, shoving him away and getting up. You quickly go to the kitchen to drink a glass of water, the duvet that was covering you mere seconds ago acting as your cloak.

“No, babe, I’m not-“

You snap your head back angrily, levelling him with a hostile glare. “Yes you are! You’re being mean when it’s your fault I’m like this!” You motion to your body.

“Actually, you begged for it, wife,” he shrugs, a corner of his mouth lifting. He doesn’t expect the punch you throw at his chest.

“Don’t ever come near me again,” you seethe, drinking your water and flying up the stairs. He sighs, rubbing his temples, wincing when he hears you sniffle again.

After ten minutes he knocks on your bedroom door- the same one you not-so-gracefully threw in his face.

“C’mon. Get out,” he grits out. Who knew dealing with a pregnant woman would strip him of the little patience he still has left?

“No. You value me less than ice cream.”

He sighs. “What can I do t’ make you forgive me?” He hears the soft pit pat of your sock-clad feet on the floor before the door creaks open. From the last few months, he'd say your mood swing should be finished by now.

You gently lower the handle, looking at his condescending espression. Then you sag your shoulder, gazing at the floor.

"You big crybaby. C'mere," he smirks, opening his arms. You bury your head in his shoulder, and he pats your hair mockingly.

"I still want ice cream, though," you mumble.

"I'll go get it at the city right now if ya stop crying," he chuckles. He widens his eyes, realizing that... he caught himself too late.

You abruptly step back. He winces.

"And you'd leave me here all alone?! Why don't you love me anymore?!"

[ssahotchnerr]

Hotch request ♡ for pre-relationship Hotch and Reader where he takes care of them on a case where they don’t feel well (maybe giving them his jacket when they have to investigate somewhere chilly at night, or keeping an eye on them!!) I thought this would be a cute one !!

if you only knew

cw; fem bau!reader, mutual pining, no established relationship, touch starved aaron, sick descriptions, fluff <3

After being out with the flu last week, color was just beginning to return to your face. Liveliness was present, contrasting the dull pale Aaron had witnessed when you attempted to come into the office. One look at you, and he sent you straight home.

You were on the upswing, otherwise he wouldn't have let you travel. Your fever had gone, you were on antibiotics, you promised you felt better - pinky-promised even.

But now he was beginning to think he should've momentarily grounded you back at Quantico, aiding Garcia rather than being in the field with the rest of team.

The further you ventured, the further the temperature plummeted. Surely it wasn't good for your vulnerable immune system, especially since your symptoms had yet to fully disappear, and why had he insisted you come? Prentiss could've accompanied him to the crime scene. Or JJ, Reid - anyone else.

He knew the answer already though; after not seeing you for nearly a week, he was guiltily needing to make up for lost time.

Aaron did, however, have a set of tissues waiting in his pocket, which - judging by the increasing rate of sniffles exiting you - would come in handy soon. He had to subtly conceal retrieving the items (he packed cough drops also) as the two of you left the precinct, knowing the cheeky grin or words Dave would offer him if caught.

"How are you doing?"

You considered saying you were fine, but lying was pointless - he’d see right through it before the words even left your mouth. And you couldn't lie to him.

It was nice, having someone know you so well.

Your voice was hoarse, barely more than a rasp. "Honestly, not great. My head is so congested it feels as if it's going to explode."

He grimaced in compassion, meeting your eyes with sympathy - which deepened at the sight of your red nose. Induced by the cold or your cold, he wasn't sure, "I'm sorry."

"I can't tell if I'm shivering because of post sick chills," you admitted, and right on cue, a quick shudder overtook your body. "Or I'm just freezing."

"You could head back to the car. Warm up a bit."

As tempting as the suggestion was, you gave him a look. Wittiness danced in your eyes and it eased his tense shoulders; if you felt that bad, you wouldn't have bothered with such a display. "And leave you here alone?"

Aaron chuckled gently, "I can manage."

"I know you can." You responded simply but picked up your pace to lead the way, as if to prove to him you were more than capable. Unbeknownst to him, you were making up for lost time too.

Spending solo time with Aaron, or cooped up in a stuffy police department? The choice was obvious.

"Wait-" you paused, and he took a few strides to catch up. "Take my jacket then, at least."

"Hotch-" You began to protest, but Aaron shrugged his puffer off his shoulders anyway, ignoring your concerns of him now being susceptible to the frigid air, and how you'd hate to be the reason he'd succumb to hypothermia.

He couldn't care less, as long as you were warm. He persuaded your arms through the sleeves and pulled the zipper up, fastening it snugly at your chin to preserve warmth.

"This shouldn't take long," Aaron promised, a brisk burst of wind hitting the two of you. It caused a strand of your hair to fall in front of your face, and he immediately had the urge to tuck it back behind your ear. Get a grip, Hotchner.

He withheld his temptation for a moment, but then came to the conclusion - fuck it. While brushing it out of the way, his finger touched your skin. Briefly, but your cheek wasn't flushed, confirming your fever had definitely gone. But then again, the weather could've been contributing. "We'll take a look around, make sure CSI is taking adequate photos, and head out."

Your response was delayed, partially convinced you hallucinated his actions as your heart fluttered in your chest. Maybe your fever was returning. "Okay."

"Once we get back to the hotel, make some tea for your throat." How did he know your throat killed? Was it that obvious? "Take a hot shower, bask in the steam. And most importantly, get some sleep."

"Is that an order?" You countered, a weak smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

"If that's what it takes, yes." He answered playfully, but the expression on his face indicated he was serious. Lips pressed into a soft line, eyes steady and clear with quiet determination.

Aaron was walking alongside you now, the back of his hand brushing against yours. While you weren't touching - only a few centimeters separated the two of you - it was electrifying.

Right before you reached the victim, a sudden sneezing fit seized you, and without thinking, his hand settled at the small of your back in support. It comfortably stayed put until you finished.

You peered up at him as your hand hid your snotty nose, eyes watery and quite pitiful. It broke his heart in the sweetest yet saddest way.

"Do you have tissues?"

"Check your pocket."

[surinnsenpai]

I am a bit of a worrier. I worry the same amount about everything, and I'm afraid I'll either run out of space or become so overwhelmed that it paralyzez me.

I worry about my future.

I worry about my hair.

I worry about my grandma being sick.

I worry about going on a trip for a long time and maybe I'll never see my grandma again.

I worry that something goes wrong with my body any time of day.

I worry about my hip dips.

I worry about being pregnant despite KNOWING it's constipation.

I worry about not being enough for myself and others.

I worry about forgetting.

I worry about deadlines

Worry about broken promises

Worry about timetables

Worry about turning off ovens

Worry about where to work

Worry about how to find work

About relationships

About misunderstandings

About slipups

About missing queues

And regret.

I regret worrying.