#this is why i stay believing that bad only sees leo as an extension of Foolish and will never treat her with respect

[guckies]

How hard is it to realise that a child, should not be included in the back and forth dynamic that Landduo have? Why is a child’s happiness being used as a bargaining chip?

You can’t say you love all the children and think about their happiness first then switch up on that just because of the dynamic you have with the parent. The child is not the parent.

[dubersbutt]

I have a couple ideas for the poly fic

1. Telling them you love them like when you first told Leon or whatever?

2. Stealing their clothes?

3. Them taking care of a hurt you?

Words: 1.4K

Warnings: none - all fluff

1) Telling Leon you love him

One of the first things Leon learns in your relationship is that you have really bad periods. He feels his heart ache every time he sees you curled up in bed or on the couch. Especially when you manage to lift your head long enough to ask for water and he can see the trails of tears on your cheeks. He and Connor have done extensive research into alleviating period cramps, but nothing seems you help you.

They keep a heat pad plugged in behind the bed so you can roll over and grab it during the night, but in the day you usually prefer to have one of them lay on your stomach - kinda like a weighted blanket.

Leon's sitting with you in his lap on the couch, your legs are wrapped around his waist tightly. He can feel your breath against his neck as he runs his hand over your back.

"You okay?" he asks after you haven't moved a muscle in about 10 minutes.

"Sometimes I manage to orient myself and my uterus calms down," you say, voice soft, "I'm afraid if I move I'll anger her."

He kisses the top of your head, settling deeper into the couch as he realizes he'll be there for a while.

"I'm sorry," you say, "If you want me to get up I will."

"Don't apologize," he says, "I'll stay here as long as you need me."

He meant it. He'd be your cuddle post as long as you wanted him to be there. Plus, if you were sleeping on him then Connor would have to be the one who has to go grocery shopping in -30º.

"I love you," he almost doesn't hear it, how softly you whisper the words, "And I'm not just saying this because I'm emotional. I-i've been wanting to say it for a while."

Leon's not a super emotional person, but he legit feels like crying.

"I love you to," he responds, "And I'm not just saying that cause you look like you're on your deathbed."

You laugh, lightly swatting him on the shoulder.

"Can you tell Connor to pick up cookie dough on his way home."

~~~

Connor has much less finesse.

Leon's watching him dance behind the wheel to some godawful country song you don't let him play when you're in the car. They're high off a BOA win, but they're both positively exhausted.

"I love you," Leon says once the song ends.

He laughs when Connor's eyes go wide as he processes what was just said. His fingers tighten around the steering wheel as the panic takes over his face.

(If Leon hadn't known Connor so well he would've been scared he fucked everything up. You had even warned Leon in advance that Connor would probably be....extremely awkward at best. Connor had told you he loved you first, but not verbally. He bought a cake from the grocery store and a little tube of icing that he used to write 'I love you'. He didn't even tell you what he had done, just let you find the cake in the fridge after dinner.)

Connor clears his throat, "Cool."

"Cool?" Leon repeats, amused, "I just said I love you and that's all I get."

Connor coughs again, "Yup."

"Okay," Leon says, but rests his head against the car seat and closing his eyes.

A few moments later, Connor grabs Leon's hand and holds it on the gear shift.

"I-uh," Connor starts.

"You don't have to say it back," Leon says, rubbing his thumb over his hand, "I just want you to know."

"No-uh," he starts, "It's not that. It's-you know - I, uh. Feelings make me uncomfortable."

"Really?" Leon says sarcastically, "I never would have guessed."

The car ride is silent the rest of the way home, but not uncomfortable. Only Connor's atrocious country playlist keeping Leon from passing out.

When they finally pull into the garage, Connor shuts off the engine and closes the garage door before looking at Leon.

"I- uh, love you too," he stutters out, "I just- feelings make me feel icky."

2) Stealing clothes

"(Y/N)!," you hear Connor yell from the top of the stairs.

"Yes, Con," you yell back

"Where is my black OVO hoodie?"

"I don't know, babe," you respond, still yelling and knowing full well you're wearing the exact hoodie he's asking for.

"It's not in my closet but I did my laundry last night," his voice is quieter now as he turns the corner of the kitchen where you and Leon are eating sandwiches.

"You did your laundry?" Leon asks between mouthfuls.

"Leon did my laundry," Connor clarifies with a roll of his eyes, "Thank you, Leo, I love you, Leo. You're the best boyfriend in the world, Leo."

"I know I am."

"Then why are you asking me?" you say, waiting to see if he'll notice what you're wearing. Connor was oblivious to both the massive hoodie that drapes your frame, and also Leon's smirk as he realizes what you're doing.

"You take my stuff all the time," he says, stealing a bite of Leon's sandwich.

"Not this time, Con," you reply, trying not to laugh.

"It was there last night, and poof it's gone," Connor's face wrinkles in thought, "I don't think I wore it last night."

"I'm fairly certain you were naked most of last night," Leon pipes up.

Connor turns a deep shade of red, "Shut up."

"Aw," you say, stretching on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek, "I love that you get embarrassed talking about sex with the two people you have sex with."

"You're not funny," he says, trying to steal another bite of Leon's sandwich.

"Get your own," Leon exclaims, pulling away.

"I'm not that hun-" he stops short, narrowing his eyes at you.

"You turd!" he says pointing at his hoodie, "You're wearing my hoodie."

"Turd?" you exclaim, unable to control your laughter, "What are you 13?"

"You stole my hoodie and then didn't tell me you we wearing it," he says, exasperated, "That is prime turd behaviour."

"I want it back."

"Yeah," you ask, arching an eyebrow, "Come take it from me."

3) You being hurt

"I can't believe you broke your ankle tripping over Bowie," Leon says, shaking his head as he fluffs the pillow that's elevating your leg.

"First of all, it's a fracture," you say, "Second of all, your dog has no manners. He walked in front of me when I was bringing in the big delivery box -which you ordered ,we don't need patio furniture, it's winter Leon - and I didn't want to step on him."

"Don't blame my son," Leon says, indignant, "And the furniture was on sale."

"You make 8 million dollars!" you exclaim, "You can pay full price for some chairs."

~~~

"Connor," you call, using your pleasing voice, "Can you pretty please make me an iced coffee."

"Sure," he says, getting up from his spot beside you.

"Connor, no," Leon says, "She needs to start moving around, doctor said."

You pout at Connor, "But it always tastes so much better when you make it."

You're not even lying, for whatever reason Connor's always tasted so good even though he didn't do anything differently.

"Connor," Leon says, voice commanding, "you're coddling her."

"It's an iced coffee, that's hardly enough exercise to strengthen her ankle," Connor replies, pulling out your favourite Starbucks cup from the cupboard.

5 minutes later you wink at Leon as you take a sip of your perfect iced coffee.

~~~

"You have the audacity to say I'm coddling her," Connor exclaims in disbelief, "I made her an iced coffee. Look at you!"

So you had asked Leon to carry you from your office to the bedroom, but you probably would've done it even if you weren't injured.

"We have a lot of stairs. She said her foot was hurting," Leon shrugs, continuing his trek to the room, puppies trailing along behind him.

"Don't be jealous, Con," you call from over the railing, "Leo will carry you up the stairs too, if you ask nicely enough."

Connor just shakes his head, following you up the stairs. Leon lets you down on the soft carpet of your room and you hobble your way to the closet, ready to change into pyjamas. When you return to the master, Connor and Leon are already snuggled in the bed. You make your way to the bed as fast as you can.

"You little liar!" Leon exclaims, "You told me your foot hurt too much to walk up the stairs."

You shrug, taking your spot in the middle of the bed, "I stretched the truth so my strong, hot boyfriend would carry me. Sue me."

[paunchsalazar]

hey!! i loved your hoo playlist! can you explain more or less where which book begins and ends? or just your thought process behind picking the songs?

omg hi!! this is going to be really long I’m so sorry... I vaguely broke them up by book and sorta character/event/theme, it’s not super strict or anything but that was the logic!

I kinda imagine it playing out like a movie or tv series.. and so some of these kinda play over a scene or transition to the credits in my head? some more than others! otherwise it’s like punny titles or just songs that remind of plot points!

Lost Hero

- Goodbye Stranger - for Jason, since he has no idea what’s going on lol

- Teenage Dream - for the three of them, but mostly Piper!

You think I'm pretty without any makeup on You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong

- Parachute - kinda Jason and Piper, I think as she realizes their relationship isn’t quite what it seems? (and just playing with his flying lol!)

- Metal Guru - Leo! 

- Pretty Girl - Piper, I was imagining this when she clashes with Drew/learns about the Aphrodite cabin

And I could be a pretty girl Shut up when you want me to And I could be a pretty girl Won't ever make you blue And I could be a pretty girl I'll lose myself in you

- The Sky’s The Limit - when the three of them take off on Festus

- Snowqueen Of Texas - this was for Khione lol

I'm on my knees, your majesty; Snowqueen, save a cold kiss for me I'm on my knees your majesty

- Sweet Talkin’ Woman - this is book-wide but it’s for Piper’s charmspeak!

- Are You Gonna Be My Girl - is sorta general but I was imagining it when Jason and Piper kinda decide to be together/give it another go

- It’s Not Unusual - I think this was sorta the entire book/wider series but I just think it’s cute and fun and a Guardians of the Galaxy type end credits song? And just them accepting their very bizarre situation 

Son of Neptune + Mark of Athena

I put these together because there wasn’t really a set bookend in my head!

- Hello Stranger - finally reuniting with Percy! (and I wanted the Percy and Jason songs to mirror each other)

Hello stranger (Ooh) It seems so good to see you back again How long has it been? (Ooh it seems like a mighty long time)

- Diamonds - Hazel 

- Don’t Go Breaking My Heart - Frank trusting Hazel with the wood, also Percy + Annabeth, everyone really

Don't go breaking my heart You take the weight off of me Oh, honey when you knock on my door Ooh, I gave you my key

- Beautiful Soul - I literally don’t know why I added this I just wanted an excuse to add a Jesse McCartney song (which feels so tonally correct to me?) but also I think it’s Frank liking Hazel in spite of her big secret and Percy loving Annabeth

- Pocketful of Rainbows - encountering Iris!

I don't worry Whenever skies are gray above Got a pocketful of rainbows Got a heart full of love

- Am I The Same Girl - Annabeth’s POV upon reunion!

Why don´t you stop And look me over Am I the same girl you used to know?

Why don´t you stop And think it over Am I the same girl who knew your soul?

- Bizarre Love Triangle - Frank, Hazel, and Leo

- Treasure - Hazel again + the literal treasure?

Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl you should be smiling (you should be smiling) A girl like you should never look so blue (blue) You're everything I see in my dreams I wouldn't say that to you if it wasn't true

- The Sweet Escape - off on the Argo II

- Okay Okay - to Italy! and I just think Italian disco is so fun

- On An Evening in Roma - walking around Rome, seeing all its history

Though there's grinning and mandolining in sunny Italy The beginning has just begun when the sun goes down So please meet me in the plaza near your casa I am only one and that is one too few On an evening in Roma Don't know what the country's coming to But in Rome do as the Romans do Will you on an evening in Roma

- Stuck on the puzzle - Annabeth + the Mark of Athena

- Coca Cola - I was imagining the pirates+sacrifice to Dionysus/ his appearance

- Edge of Seventeen - I think Annabeth remarks to herself something like am I really going to die at 17? so this is for her and all the kids just on the cusp of being 17

And the days go by, like a strand in the wind In the web that is my own, I begin again Said to my friend, baby (everything stopped) Nothin' else mattered

- Landslide - when everything goes wrong and they start falling to Tartarus

Oh, mirror in the sky What is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'Cause I've built my life around you But time makes you bolder Even children get older And I'm getting older too

House of Hades + Blood of Olympus

these are more thematic I think? but a few moments in particular

- Head Over Heels - falling down... 

I made a fire, and watching it burn Thought of your future With one foot in the past, now just how long will it last?

Something happens and I'm head over heels I never find out until I'm head over heels Something happens and I'm head over heels Ah, don't take my heart, don't break my heart Don't, don't, don't throw it away

- You and Me - Percy and Annabeth in Tartarus

If the stars don't shine If the moon won't rise If I never see the setting sun again You won't hear me cry as I testify Please believe me boy you know I would I lie As long as there is you and me

- Don’t Worry Baby - Percy and Annabeth in Tartarus, on the shore of the river

Well it's been building up inside of me For oh I don't know how long I don't know why But I keep thinking Something's bound to go wrong

But she looks in my eyes And makes me realize And she says "don't worry, baby"

- It’s Only A Paper Moon - the mist and Hazel starting to understand it

You smile, the bubble has a rainbow in it Say, it's only a paper moon Sailing over a cardboard sea But it wouldn't be make-believe If you believed in me

- Money, Money, Money - Hazel + Pluto

Money, money, money Must be funny In the rich man's world

- Magic - the whole story, but particularly with the presence of Hecate 

- Summer Wind - Jason harnessing the winds!

The summer wind came blowin' in from across the sea It lingered there, to touch your hair and walk with me All summer long we sang a song and then we strolled that golden sand Two sweethearts and the summer wind

- Mala Femmina - the return of Khione

- Would You? - Leo and Calypso

Well, you know she took my hand And we walked away And I can't understand why she would stay Would you like to fall in love with me?

-  Love is Like a Fire - Leo and also Frank 

- Don’t Wanna Fight - Percy and Annabeth

Take from my hand Put in your hands The fruit of all my grief Lying down ain't easy When everyone is pleasing I can't get no relief Living ain't no fun The constant dedication Keeping the water and power on There ain't nobody left Why can't I catch my breath? I'm gonna work myself to death

- Love Really Hurts With You - Leo after leaving Calypso’s island

- What Makes the Sunset - Percy and Annabeth (and by extension Bob and Damasen)

What makes the sunset? What makes the moonrise? What makes the tide remember to hide and why does it soon rise? What makes a star fall? Where does it fall to? Why does its flight make us stop in the night and wish as we all do?

- Dedicated to the One I Love - everybody, but an ode to Bob and Damasen (their goodbye made me cry!)

While I'm far away from you my baby I know it's hard for you my baby Because it's hard for me my baby And the darkest hour is just before dawn

Each night before you go to bed my baby Whisper a little prayer for me my baby And tell all the stars above This is dedicated to the one I love

- Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want - Percy and Annabeth in Tartarus, I was thinking about this post-curses and them being so done with everything

Good times for a change See, the luck I've had Can make a good man Turn bad

So please, please, please Let me, let me, let me Let me get what I want This time

- Lonely Boy - Nico 

- Fantasy - indulging all their visions... the mist, etc. 

- Stupid Cupid - Nico and Cupid (of course)

Stupid Cupid you're a real mean guy (stupid Cupid) I'd like to clip your wings so you can't fly (stupid Cupid) I'm in love and it's a crying shame (stupid Cupid) And I know that you're the one to blame (stupid Cupid)

Hey hey, set me free Stupid Cupid stop picking on me

- Suzanne - still Nico, looking over at the couple (sorry... all the mopey songs)

- Dream A Little Dream of Me - dreams... also Percy’s wishes of the future

Stars shining bright above you Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you" Birds singing in the sycamore tree Dream a little dream of me

- Our Day Will Come - I think Annabeth says a line almost like this? somewhere at the end of HOH, I think when they’ve just gotten out of Tartarus and are all sitting together, like haven’t they had enough? won’t their day finally come?

Our day will come If we just wait a while No tears for us Think love and wear a smile Our dreams have magic because We'll always stay In love this way

- Call Me - all of them! also Nico and Reyna, just being there for each other

Tell me and I'll be around Now don't forget me 'cause if you let me I will always stay by you You've got to trust me, that's how it must be

- Nobody - Nico... oh buddy 

Venus, planet of love Was destroyed by global warming Did its people want too much too? Did its people want too much?

And I don't want your pity I just want somebody near me Guess I'm a coward I just want to feel alright

- I’m a Believer - Jason and Piper

I thought love was only true in fairy tales Meant for someone else but not for me Love was out to get me That's the way it seemed Disappointment haunted all my dreams Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer Not a trace of doubt in my mind

- Summertime - Piper singing and it being the end of summer

- Happy Trails - more singing ( I want to include the songs actually mentioned!)

- The End of the World - the big battle!!

Why does the sun go on shining? Why does the sea rush to shore? Don't they know it's the end of the world? 'Cause you don't love me any more

- Too Late To Turn Back Now - departing with Festus (I think Leo almost says this too!)

- Here Comes The Sun - day comes, the Athena Parthenos is back

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

- Walking On Sunshine - Will Solace

- Evil Woman - Gaea fight

Evil woman, how you done me wrong But now you're tryin' to wail a different song Ha, ha, funny, how you broke me up You made the wine, now you drink a cup I came runnin' every time you cried Thought I saw love smilin' in your eyes Ha, ha, very nice to know That you ain't got no place left to go

- Seven Wonders - the seven! also traveling the world... making it this far

If I live to see the seven wonders I'll make a path to the rainbow's end I'll never live to match the beauty again The rainbow's edge

- This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) - to me this is just after Annabeth and Percy’s kiss, shots of everyone back to camp, wides of people running around, new cabins under construction, the sun is shining, the camera pulls out 

Loving you is some kind of wonderful Because you showed me just how much you care You've given me the thrill of a lifetime And made me believe you've got more thrills to spare, oh!

- Love Makes the World Go Round - like the end credits! last pov with Piper, love makes it all happen

Without love flowers wouldn't grow in the spring And without spring, yeah the birdies just couldnt sing Everybody needs love to watch the twinkling stars above It makes a boy and girl, Say they feel so fine, now

[twentytarot]

hi everyone! in this pick a card i hope to show you the person that you will (romantically) love the most in this life, and answer the question of whether you will be able to be happy with this person forever. this means this person isn’t necessarily your soulmate, they’re just the one person you dream of choosing over anyone else! pick the image that sets your thoughts off and scroll down to your respective pile for your reading~ 💞

PILE ONE: SUNSET

your person has gone through some things in life, and it’s made them smart, strong, tolerant and patient. what more can we ask for, honestly, right? for most of you this person will be a virgo, but for some they’ll be a leo. or maybe a combination of both. the only small issue i see here is that they don’t really pay much attention to their emotions, and by extension, others’ as well. not that they would offend people on purpose, just that they may prioritise a goal over someone’s feelings, for example.

lucky you, it looks like you will be with this person for a very long time! you might have just met, or you’ll be meeting them soon at school or work. at least one of you will still be pretty junior when you meet. the connection will be a little bit magical, a little bit telepathic, like you understand and complement each other down to each of your powers and your nature. like i said, this person doesn’t really think about romantic things, but they will start to do more and more of the things you like— basically, they want to and will treat you right if you give them a little push in the right direction. you will start a family that is very balanced and has a healthy amount of discipline. i’m feeling libra... maybe you’ll have a libra child with this person? or maybe it’ll be libra season when you meet, or become official, or marry... it’ll resonate differently for everyone.

lastly, i want to say that this connection is very much mental > physical. i feel like some of you may be asexual? regardless, it’s unlikely that you will be attracted to each others looks at first, you’ll love each other for the other’s personality.

PILE TWO: COUPLE

what an exciting soulmate this is! firstly, yes, this person is your soulmate above being the person you will love the most. huge libra vibes. some of you will see scorpio or gemini, though. your person is daring, they have no trouble leaving safety if they think the next big thing will be worth it, and they’ll adapt to the next environment to the point where they’re unrecognisable from their previous self. yet, they’re pretty intense, so i can’t call them a chameleon. your person also has a way with words— they could convince someone the sky is green if they tried hard enough. they could work in the legal fraternity.

now, for the question on whether you’ll be happy together forever, i want to say it’s a soft yes right now. this relationship might be a little volatile; perhaps you or they are a rather argumentative person by nature (more them than you, honestly) so “fights” break out often. i also get the feeling you’re not someone who actually goes against the flow very often— you like your stability in the long run, even if this intense person excites you. they may not appreciate the steadiness you offer, and you may find their drastic ways too dramatic for your comfort. lady luck is on your side, so i think you will pull through, and the two of you will also be very genuinely and purely in love with each other. that being said... at the point where you meet and get together, neither of you would have your eyes wide open enough to see what the other is here to teach you. and so the puzzle pieces will fit, but wrongly. and when the two of you get to fitting the last few pieces, you’ll realise your mistake. i don’t see you getting out of having a huge fight when this happens. will you have the patience and tenacity to crumble the picture back to pieces and start again? i hope you will, darling, because i really think it’ll be worth it.

PILE THREE: SNOW GLOBE

wow, we have a very good looking person on our hands! for some of you this person could just be a little younger than you, but for most, i’m feeling pretty immature vibes coming from this person. they want what they want, you know? they’re likely a sagittarius-capricorn cusp, but more likely capricorn over sagittarius. they’re determined, ambitious and cocky, but boy do they have the qualifications to back themselves up. when they approach you, they will already know they have you.

and yet, you will not stay. this person underestimates the choices you have. you are not powerless yourself, and they know, yet they choose to believe you won’t use it. but you will, because no matter how much someone has your heart, your heart is not your everything, and i know you are not the kind of person to drop your professional life over a 5-carat diamond ring. neither are you the kind of person to allow someone to stand you up more than once without so much as a text. and so you will reconsider your choices, and there will be someone else. a water sign. you will always remember the fire you had with the person before, but this other person will wash away the flames and leave behind a calming stream that you will have to admit, is better for you in the long run.

i know you really wanted this person, darling, but they were dimming your light without even knowing it. and they might have been the person for you, but you weren’t the person for them. or maybe there’s no one that will be able to make them understand. whatever the case is, this person is not yours to keep.

PILE FOUR: HANDS

gosh, i can totally see why you’re smitten for this person. they’re so romantic! it’s in the way they push their hair back, in the way they look at you when you’re recalling a story, and in the flowers they have sent to your workplace, and the sound of them singing love songs to you, and their lofty dreams of a beautiful family in the future... it all makes you swoon. and how apt, this person is a pisces or a taurus, both pretty romantic signs! did i mention they’re not too bad looking either? wow. it’s the full package.

...except they’re not the sharpest tool in the shed. they’re not dumb, just not very clear cut or focused. they’re a little easily distracted, and people will want to distract them, for sure. and honestly, buddy, i’m not sure if you want to have to deal with all of that jealousy and people trying to steal your s/o out from underneath you.

which is why i would say soft no to staying together for the long haul. it’s really not just you, like i said, this person’s a little scatter-brained and may not have the one track mind they would need to make anyone feel secure in a relationship with them. there will be quite a few major gaps between you in terms of where you stand in life, love and your careers, and it’s bound to create misplaced feelings of insecurity. it’s truly not that you can’t make it out to the other side, in fact, if you do, it’s a relationship that will really last forever. but it will be hard, and when you’re at that crossroad, you will just have to go with your gut. you’ll know which path you’re meant to take, and even if it’s the one where the two of you don’t work out, you’ll look upon your days with this person fondly.

[ohtobeaspettyasleah]

What’s a typical day for teacher Ethan and his twins like?

A typical school morning would look something like this: Ethan’s alarm going off at around 5am, a night and day change to what he was like as a teenager/younger adult. If he could see himself now? If you told Ethan Dolan when he was 31 that his alarm would wake him up at 5am Monday the outside Friday most weeks of the year? He wouldn’t have believed you, would’ve laughed obnoxiously in your face.

But here he is, stumbling out of bed with his boxer briefs rolled up slightly on his thighs from a restless night. Yawning as he slammed his hand against the light switch to get a good look at himself in his ensuite mirror. Hands on his vanity as he assessed the damage.

“Not too bad.” He mumbled. Picking up his toothbrush. ”not too bad.”

Ethan tried his best to keep the volume to a minimum— but there’s only so much you can do when your coffee machine sounds like a military jet taking off. It’s always around that 5:15 mark where little Lexi Dolan is dragging herself from her bed, making a quick pitstop on her journey by stopping by the toilet. Small kids equal small bladders. Lexi would more often then not, still be half asleep when she rounded the corner— her feet padding on the hardwood flooring as Ethan watch he drag her blanket behind her. Grayson kept his till he was 21, Ethan would let Lexi keep hers till it was disintegrating if it meant she was happy. 

“Lex, Lex it’s quarter past five. Don’t you wanna stay in bed some more?” Ethan would asked as he sipped his coffee and picked his daughter up under her arms. Placing her on the island bench wrapped in her blanket. Jersey could get cold. But Ethan’s house was always freezing.

Lexi would shake her head each morning, if Ethan was up? She was up to. “You want some breakfast then?”

“Toast please.” Lexi had the same thing every morning, occasionally she’d break from routine and ask for cereal of some kind or if Leo wanted pancakes she’d have those too— but at the tender age of 6? Lexi Dolan had her own morning routine. And it always, always started with strawberry jam toast.

It would always just be Lexi and Ethan until around 6:30. That’s when every morning Ethan would barge on in to his sons room singing up a storm with Lexi on his hip— sure Ethan knew he was tone deaf, but his dad used to do it to him so he felt as if he’d carry on the somewhat annoying tradition.

“Rise and shine Leo!” The six year old would smirk and pretend every morning to still be sleeping. Ethan would always play along. His kids an extension of himself. Flipping his lifeless son over his shoulder as Lexi trailed behind him. Laughing loudly as Leo opened his eyes to shh her from giving up the gig. “Oh well, I guess Leo’s batteries didn’t change up last night Lex, gotta change em—“ Ethan would pretend to change out Leo’s batteries, he’d laugh as Ethan tickled his sides and sad him down in front of his breakfast. Quick oats, with a teaspoon of cocoa, it made them go chocolate brown and was the only way Leo would eat the damn stuff.

“Eat up, gotta get ready for school.” Ethan ruffled Leo’s already messy bed head.

“Miss Reid said I’m a good reader, but I have to would on reading in my head.”

Miss Reid said I have to work on reading out loud.” Lexi sighed. Ethan kissed her cheek.

“I agree, you gotta speak up and use your voice Lex, your brother can’t always speak for you. Readings sometimes something we have to do out loud for others, like how sometimes I’ll read you a bedtime stroy. You wouldn’t be able to hear me if I read in my head now would you?” Ethan asked. Lexi shook her head. “Exactly, so if Miss Reid said she’ll help you I want you to let her okay, you like Miss Reid?”

“She’s pretty.” Leo added. Ethan remembered having a few crushes on his former teachers too.

“I’d that the only reason why would like her Le?” Ethan chuckled as he did his tie up. Getting himself ready for work before he helped his kids get ready for school.

“No, she makes sure my Ironman gets put back in my cubby and not the toy box which is nice.” Ethan smiled.

“That is nice of her.”

“She eats lunch with me if I don’t feel like going outside.” Lexi added. Ethan’s heart broke abit, his priority at the moment was his daughter’s ability to be herself, always caged by her anxiety. She was six— it was so cruel.

“Well I think that’s really nice of her too.” Lexi noded in response as she left to get ready. Ethan sighed as he fixed his shoes and looked up at his son. “You plan on getting ready anytime soon or am I sending you to work with uncle Grayson instead of school?” It always had Leo move fast, the threat of going to work with uncle Grayson had him racing to his room to get his schoolbag and change. Ethan laughed.

He’d drop his tots at school, watching as their bags engulf them as they walked up the path together before driving across town to St Anne’s, where he’d teach sophomores media and technical skills. Before getting use out of his double degree and watching a bunch of puberty ridden 16 year old beat the shit out of each other with dodgeballs in PE.

[songsofacagedbird]

Hello, I’m Katie, this is my sunshine daughter Balo, and you’re watching Disney Channel! Jokes aside though, I’m so excited to bring Balo back and while not much has changed (truly this is nothing more than a continuation where I only omit plots my partner doesn’t want to revive), have a new intro / bio anyway because... I felt like it ok.  I’ll be good and not ramble too ungodly long though so without further ado - another one of my excessively long intro posts:

TWs: Child Abuse / Abuse, Alcoholism (not Balo’s, but her dad’s), Eating Disorders (anorexia nervosa)

Is that BALIAN “BALO” DRISKELL? Wow, they do look a lot like CANDICE SWANEPOEL. I hear SHE is/are a SEVENTEEN year old JUNIOR who originally attended LUXOR Academy. Word is they are a(n) REGULAR student. You should watch out because they can be NAIVE and SENSITIVE, but on the bright side they can also be OPTIMISTIC and BUBBLY. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself.  [KATIE, 23, EST, SHE/HERS]

Last Edit: 8/26/2020

★ basics;

Full Name: Balian “Balo” Grace Driskell Age: 17 Birthday: February 7th, 2003 at 08:06 am Sexual Orientation:  Balo really doesn’t label it (although I like to say bisexual, biromanitc to make my own life easier), she always just falls for who she falls for regardless of gender. If you ask her exactly, she’d probably say MOGAI though. Relationship Status: Kinda dating Caitriona but it’s unofficial Occupation: Student Nationality: American

★ classes;

Communications

French

Geometry

U.S. History

Fashion design

Visual Art

Pilates

★ extracurriculars;

Arts Club (Member)

Balo also used to be a Cheerleader (Flyer) and part of the Gymnastics team but due to her leaving / concerns about her health, she was required to step down, much to her devastation.

★ background;

Place of Birth: Rochester, New York Hometown: Saratoga Springs, New York Health Issues: Eating Disorder (Anexoria) Traumas: Abuse (Constant/Ongoing - from her father)

★ physical;

Faceclaim: Candice Swanepoel Eye Color: Blue Hair Color: Blonde Height: 5′11” -- not at fc height because I don’t wanna change her height with the new fc Weight: 120 lbs - give or take Tattoos, Birthmarks, Scars, etc: Nothing I find a need to link at the moment.

★  zodiac;

Tropical

Sun: Aquarius Moon: Aries Mercury: Capricorn Venus: Capricorn Mars: Sagittarius Jupiter: Leo Saturn: Gemini Uranus:   Aquarius Neptune: Aquarius Pluto: Sagittarius Lilith: Aries N Node: Gemini

Placidus Orb

I ASC: Pisces II: Aries III: Taurus IV: Gemini V: Cancer VI: Leo VII: Virgo VIII:  Libra IX: Scorpio X MC: Sagittarius XI: Capricorn XII: Aquarius

★ relatives;

Father’s Full Name: Lance Driskell Father’s Status: Alive Father’s Occupation: Restaurant Owner Mother’s Full Name: Cassandra “Cassidy” Driskell Mother’s Status: Alive Mother’s Occupation: Waitress at a local diner (not Lance’s place) Siblings: 1 older sister and 2 older brothers

Driskell Children Oldest to Youngest:

Ivan Marsden (22, attending school in England)

Grace Driskell (19, in California for school)

Zander Driskell (LINK TO HIS INTRO)

Balo Driskell

Here is a link to the Driskell family page if you’d like to know more about her family.

★ misc;

Hobbies and Talents: Balo’s a sketch artist and painter who tends to focus on realism, in particular realistic humans and animals. It’s her true passion and I have an inspo section for her sketchbook here! She’s also quite flexible and skilled at gymnastics, part of why it’s bothering her she can’t participate currently because she loves it and she’s good at it - making her removal from the team eat at her even more.

Pinterest Section  // Musings Tag // Playlist

- Balo’s kind of a literal ray of sunshine who believes (almost) everyone is truly good at heart. While she tries to see the best in everyone, no matter what, she truly can’t see it in her father, a fact she feels extremely guilty over it. - She loves art, sketching and painting especially, and she always dreamed of being some sort of artist. While her mother encouraged it every chance she got, her father is truly a different story. - Balo is very easy to manipulate and I encourage it constantly. - She truly just wants to love and befriend everyone, while it’s not really too hard to make her cry, usually you’ll see Balo running around with a smile trying to brighten everyone’s day. This is an issue because she’ll put everyone around her before herself every time, your happiness is a priority before hers. Again, making her easy to manipulate. (So I welcome manipulating Balo and love it when it occurs, please feel free to do so at any point) - Her best friend / favorite person in the entire world at this point is Logan Keller, mention him only if you really wanna see this girl light up like a 4th of July fireworks show. (They’re still in touch, for those of you who remember him from when Jia was playing him here!) - Balo recently got out of extensive inpatient for her eating disorder so while she’s doing a lot better, she’s really doesn’t want it to be the main topic of conversation either. She's okay and back at Luxor and she feels that’s the most important thing at the end of the day.

★ bio; TWs: Child Abuse / Abuse, Alcoholism, Eating Disorders (anoxeria, weight loss, and complications from both)

“'Cause I know that nothing good comes easy, if it did, I wouldn't be me.”

If there was one quote that fit Balo Driskell’s life to a t, that would be it. Nothing was truly easy in the Driskell’s home, she was the youngest of three children - an amount that her mother never wanted to have, and would do whatever it took to stay at after this point. Anytime her father walked in after work, the stench of alcohol clung to. She could smell it on her breath every time he yelled, each time he threw things, anytime he hit her. One could have easily convinced the young girl that all families were like this, that everyone covered up bruises and pretended they were much happier than they actually were if it wasn’t for her mother.

Perhaps Casandra Driskell never wanted her children, but she loved them with her entire heart. She’d sneak her children money, things they weren’t allowed to have - guitars, paints, canvases, sheet-music, legos, and whatever else her father deemed banning fit at a moment's notice. She wasn’t always around, working a job at the local diner, but when she was she did everything in her power to protect her children. It was never enough, though.

Lance Driskell still hurt his children close to daily, whether it was smashing Grace’s guitar over her head the moment he found it, pulling Balo down the stairs by her hair, or lashing Zander with his belt - there were quite a few times where a Driskell had to go the hospital and the family had to lie through their teeth to keep people from looking too closely at them at their mother’s urging. If it was investigated the three children would be separated, they would lose their mother, or at least that’s what they were told - and none of them wanted that. It became common for one child to intervene for another if they could, Zander especially taking the brunt of the punishments for his sisters.

It was part of loving someone in the Driskell home, trying to keep everyone else safe no matter the cost it had on you.

Her childhood wasn’t all bad, however, there were quite a few silver-linings in the dark cloud called the Driskell home. She had a close friendship with her siblings and her mother, and she has plenty of fond memories with them. Christmas was always peaceful, as her father always took that shift at his restaurant and refused to celebrate the holiday with them - a time where he couldn’t taint the joy inside of the Driskell home. She could paint when her father wouldn’t catch her in the act, something she loved doing (and she still does every chance she gets), and she had Logan. Logan Keller was her next-door neighbor and her best friend. If you saw one of them, the other probably wasn’t too far behind. In many ways, he was her person - someone she felt like she could go to with nearly anything (she could never discuss home with him at this point, of course, but everything else she could and she did). 

And then the Driskells moved away and it was like the world was ripped out from under her feet - leaving her spiraling and looking for some sort of control. Her new friend didn’t help matters much either, constantly encouraging her to “shed the weight” they swore she gained. She soon found this sense of “control” in the form of her eating disorder, careful attempts to keep herself as thin as she could, of restricting her food every chance she could.  It wasn’t healthy, far from it, but it fulfilled the desire to have some semblance of control over her life.

Sending the children to Luxor had been an easy decision for Cassandra the second the children were able to attend, a way to ship them off to safety while not being too far away from home. While it pained her a first to be away from her mother, eventually she began to understand. She was safe while at school, and at the end of the day, that was what mattered the most to her mother, right? It wasn’t hard to get into the flow of life at the school, staying at school and only coming home for the breaks that the school refused to keep students during. It broke her heart when Lance shipped Ivan to England and told him not to come home (a thought that still pains her to this day), after the boy served his use, and it only grew harder when Grace graduated and moved to California. But she was happy at Luxor, in spite of everything.

And in a way, her love for the school only grew after the merge. Now there were twice as many people to befriend and support, and in the process, she realized something she had been missing had been under her nose for a while. Logan was attending school at Luxor too, and all of a sudden, she had her person in her life again. At the time she felt on top of the world, regardless of the circle beginning to stir up issues.

And then, suddenly, she was knocked right back down to the ground.

First Logan was kidnapped and forced to deliver the message, and then he was forced to go home for personal reasons. The support she had so quickly grown used to having was seemingly being ripped out from her yet again. While he was still in touch, continuing to be her rock, her eating disorder only continued to spiral out of control. And no matter how much she tried to pretend she was fine, it was getting to the point there was no way to really do so. Balo was sick, and now everyone could tell. It was concern from her teachers that helped fuel the chain of events that resulted in getting her help, no matter how much she tried to assure everyone she didn’t need inpatient therapy and that doing outpatient would be fine. After several months of inpatient followed by a bout of “readjustment to the real world” time at home, she’s back at Luxor and as sunshine-y as ever.

TLDR / quick important notes bio recap for rereads: - Balo’s home life is far from perfect. Her father, Lance - is an abusive alcoholic, and while her mother tried her best to protect her children - she also covered things up without hesitation. It wasn’t uncommon to see a Driskell in the ER with a lie and people willing to back up the story. - The lack of control in her life is what led to her eating disorder, in hopes of regaining a (false) sense of control. - She’s been attending Luxor since freshman year, although she recently had to leave for a few months to attend extensive inpatient treatment. And now she’s back to her normal sunshine-esc antics, trying to love everyone, feeding all the strays at Luxor, and trying to spread smiles everywhere she goes.

★ wanted connections;

Friendships

Someone to manipulate her, please I beg you

Um, pretty much anything? She likes everyone cause if you do something to hurt her she does mental gymnastics to come to the conclusion you are a good person and it was an unintended side effect so...yeah. Doesn’t mean your muses have to like her though (I have a lot of fun when they don’t actually, so… don’t worry about hurting the sunshine daughter. Okay?)

Anyone who knows her from the gymnastics and/or cheer teams, as she was on the teams through Freshmen & Sophomore years, and until October of her junior year.

[crqstalite]

( GLOW UP )

So unlike the rest of you, I’m 14. Meaning I was four at the beginning of the decade. I don’t have drawings from then and honestly the stuff I made years ago I can’t find. Instead, I had to go rifling through my old accounts to find my VERY old DeviantArt account (ConfectionalyYours for anyone curious enough to go looking at an old account I thankfully took everything down from when I moved accounts, and then starr-lani for anyone who wants to see pre-tumblr starr.), and this is what I found during my treasure hunt I deemed safe for my eyes and yours.

Explanation beneath the cut, but the dates for these pictures are: 2016, 2017, 2018, 2018 (later), early 2019, late 2019.

First off, my first actual drawing that I can find. Or paint-over. Obviously a base was used here and it’s for an old next-gen Percy Jackson fanfiction that actually did have over four poorly written books on Wattpad. It was...surprisingly popular if I can remember correctly. The black haired girl was supposed to be a daughter of Hades (Nico and Thalia’s specifically...I hate myself for this honestly), and the orange haired was a daughter of Hephasteus (Leo and Calypso, but Calypso was dead in this fic apparently? I’m not even sure why.). First LGBT couple I ever had though, so good on ten year old me.

Second one was from actually two years ago today. For a Voltron fanfiction that garnered some popularity on Wattpad and Archive of Our Own (if you’re curious, here’s the account it’s posted on >> euphoria_starrs). Honestly, it’s bad and I haven’t touched it in literal years only to crosspost it on AO3 sometime in 2018. According to me, here’s her profile:

“Name: Megan Cordellia Age: 17 Gender: Demigirl Species: Pureblood Galra Height: 5"6 Weight: 121 _______________ Paladin of: former paladin of the blue lion Bayard: sniper rifle (she shares this in common with Lance) Preffered weapon: staff Relationships: New paladins (friends), Alleria (sister of a sort), Sydney (half-brother), Sombrina (friend), Zarkon (past friend; new enemy) Megan, like in the original series, is a Galra female who stayed with the alteans after the death of her mother, father and sisters. However, Megan is outspoken and ready to fight for what she believes in, and will not hesitate to call you out. She can be rash and often not as understanding as you may believe, however she is a Blade of Marmora, and has gone through extensive training and conditioning to the battlefield and results of it. She has a hard time empathizing with people, and that makes her unlikable at times. Unlike Alleria, she has been awake from stasis for two years now, and was a major part of Keith's training, even if he didn't know exactly who she was, and Megan was still conditioning herself to being in a new era. Kolivan and the other Blades do not know she is from another era, however.”

I’m personally horrified, but take that as you will.

The third picture is of the three characters I wrote about from the second picture, from my Next Generation Voltron AU. All Klance kids (I was a horrid person back then, I’m being honest here). The anatomy was so bad, not to say I can’t improve from my most recent works, but I cringed trying to even pick which picture to use from that year that wasn’t going to burn your eyes inside out. 

Honestly these characters had like no character development, and years later trying to pick apart this mess, I cry knowing that I’ve improved tremendously in my writing.

The fourth picture is of the second princess of Altea? Another Voltron OC (I was addicted to it as soon as it came out), named Alleria (so bright, I know). I think she was supposed to be connected to the second character somehow, but the details of this AU allude me so badly. I hate that I deleted so many stories and left myself without even a basic explanation of who these characters even were. I didn’t even write much in the description, other than that it was a redraw of something. Of what, I don’t know.

The fifth picture is a very long story. Short answer is that they were fusions of my friends when i was really into Steven Universe. There are three versions of it, if you’re brave you can look at the first two, 1 , 2  . I personally despise it, and I’m not even friends with some of the people included anymore. Honestly, I had improved quite a bit since the first one was designed though.

The sixth picture is the most recent thing I’ve done. Khaak and Lana, you’ve probably already seen it today. But now I’m even more proud of it looking back at everything else I’ve drawn in the past few years. Obviously my anatomy, shading and coloring has improved (though I have so far to go to even compare to a few of my favorite artists in the SWTOR community here) and so has my storytelling. I don’t know what my roaring 20s will bring for me, but I proud of how far I’ve come art-wise, as a writer and as a person. A happy 2020 to you all!

[fqrtescue]

                                  BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Alice Louise Fortescue PRONUNCIATION:  Alice  Louise Fortescue MEANING: Alice ( Noble ), Louise ( Famous Warrior, Renowned Fighter ), Fortescue ( Shield, Valiant, Strong Warrior ) REASONING: I mean, isn’t it obvious? NICKNAME(S): Al. Ally Cat. Ally. Fortescue. BIRTH DATE: July 28, 1959 AGE: 17 ZODIAC: Leo Sun, Taurus Moon, Scorpio Rising

Slytherin Leos can be either very good, or very bad. At their best, they exemplify all that“nobility” is made of: confidence, openness, charm, initiative, generosity of spirit, wisdom, judgment, and poise. At their worst, they become elitist, bullying bigots. How they end up depends on the company they keep, and how they are encouraged to act early in life. Either way, they never lack attention - it’s hard to ignore a Slytherin born under this sign. These Slytherins usually end up in positions of responsibility and leadership, because of their charisma and natural ability. Their creativity and drive also makes them very resourceful.

I thought this fit perfectly for Alice because not only does her name Alice mean noble, but this is just EXTREMELY Alice. She shines so brightly, like sunshine, really. I thought this also fits Alice because had Alice grown up around bigots, grown up around a father who trained her to be a weapon &not to help human kind, a mother who didn’t instill altruistic beliefs into her – she would’ve easily fallen into being on the bad side of being a Leo. Alice is open-minded and an open person, something she’s been since she was younger, something she will never grow out of. She believes the impossible as much as the possible, she believes in it and because she’s not rigid or thinks she knows EVERYTHING, she’s often got an edge during dueling when it comes to figuring out her opponents strategies. It adds to her being resourceful, while Alice isn’t always the most creative in a traditional sense, her being a fantastic dueler and able to navigate herself in her house is due the fact that not only is she cunning, but is so resourceful & able to see other people’s side of things while having the ability to manipulate people’s perception of her to work in her favor. She knows how she’s seen, she uses it to her advantage, often taking mental ( and physical ) notes of her classmates to be used in the future.

Leo is the fifth sign of the zodiac and rules the back, the spine, and the heart. Positive traits include creativity, charisma, generosity, warmth, enthusiasm, a natural talent for leadership, and a great deal of inner power; negative traits are haughtiness, snobbery, an expectation that one is the centre of attention and should be waited on by everyone else,profligacy, lack of realism, dominance that can lead to bullying, and a refusal to change one’s mind even in the face of solid facts.

Alice sees the world so openly and vast, she thinks, why not? Facts are only facts because they haven’t yet been proven otherwise, and Alice believes it only takes a little bit of doubt to undermine a fact – something easy to do. I bolded ‘profligacy’ because Alice has grown up never having to worry about money, and is the type to spend it on people she loves, buy them thing after thing, anything they need. Alice always has the latest record and few extra to give away to friends, she’s there to cover your bus fair or even a train ticket if needed. She’s mothering and maternal, especially as she gets older, she wants to take care of anyone who needs to be taken care of and give back in any way she can – which is where the dominance can come in. Sometimes overbearing, when Alice believes something is best for someone, it’s hard for her to change her mind about it – this oftentimes comes off as extremely controlling even though she means well. She’s the type of person to check up on you if you even mention that you’re having a slightly off week, and ask if there’s anything she can do to make it better. This is definitely due to her generous and hospitable nature, but it is excessive and always has been – not something she would ever change as long as she lived.

GENDER: Non-Binary PRONOUNS: She/Her and They/Them ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Panromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Pansexual/Demisexual

Alice’s natural hair color is a really dusty blonde, even dirty blonde. She really loves to experiment with it though, so she’ll cut it and dye it all sorts of colors - from neon green to blonde to rainbow. From a pixie cut down below her waist. Anything and everything. Sometimes, in an attempt to just get out of her own head and escape for a bit, cutting & coloring her hair is fun and gives her some of a respite. She knows it’s just hair and it’ll easily grow back with a hair potion and just does it as a way to cope with not feeling completely comfortable in her appearance. She also does ridiculous makeup, sometimes adorning very shimmery glitter all across her eyelids and wearing funky socks that don’t always match her school robes. Sometimes she prefers to wear pants instead of a skirt, and puts pins of all sorts up and down her tie. Alice also owns an extensive sunglasses collection that she tries to wear on weekends or brings at least one fun pair with her Hogsmeade weekends. Until the last year when she finally expressed her self consciousness to her uncle about how she looked, her Uncle Florean helped educate her on the Queer community etc. Alice definitely IDs as queer and she’s openly not straight ( has been for forever ), but her gender is something she keeps more close to her heart & is really trying to figure out even with the information her uncle has given her. If I had to put a label on her sexuality it would be panromantic pansexual/demisexual. She also would probably fall under and be extremely interested in Polyamory, completely loving the free love movement currently going on.

NATIONALITY: Irish ETHNICITY: French/Irish/English

                                              BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: Galway, Ireland HOMETOWN: Galway, Ireland SOCIAL CLASS: Upper Class EDUCATION LEVEL: Student / High School FATHER: Gervais Fortescue, 60, Deputy Head Auror in the Auror Department of the Brtitish DMLE

Her idol. Her rock. Her mentor. Her monument. Gervais Fortescue is everything to Alice, and then some. It is thanks to him that the Fortescue’s are now labled blood traitors having been relatively neutral seeming in the past. Gervais was one of the most vocal wizards in favor of intervening in WWII, even moving to England to find a way to help the war effort as France was not a good place to be – especially after surrendering to Nazi Germany. He packed up along with Florean and made it a mission to make a difference in Wizarding Britain, succeeding as he became an extremely political and physical asset to the Ministry as years went by. Gervais is the sole reason the Ministry of Magic has been able to anticipate as many missions as they have and the reason the Order currently has half of the information that they do. His missions have now spanned all accross the world, making important & vital connections with people all over the globe. His side projects have included much research into runes, lycanthrophy, and different styles of magic. He’s not just a mentor to Alice, but a mentor to many within the Auror department, having been a mentor & trainer to many a Auror who’ve come through the department, often extending his home as a safe place for them to be in case they need somewhere to go. The only reason he’s not Head Auror is because he knows he’d lose the freedom of traveling & researching as much as he does today. Gervais has unfortunately been on many a Death Eater & Co. radars, having infiltrated their plans, throwing quite a few Dark Wizards in Azkaban over the years.

MOTHER: Lucille Fortescue neé Rowle, 57, Former Herbologist & Current ‘Stay At Home’ Mother

Once a woman who could electrify a room, Lucille was an Irish woman with more life than her Pureblood family could handle. They were far too traditional, treacherous, straight laced, close minded for her tastes and always had been. When Lucille could, she moved away from her family, cutting ties and moving in with her best girlfriends, taking a job in Ireland as a Herbologist. For a few years, she was happy that way, having grown an extensive garden, finding home in Galway, finding family, and finding a random man hiding in her garden who’d later introduce himself as Gervais Fortescue. Over drinks she learned he was an Auror currently on mission, who later explained he’d been hiding from someone chasing him. Love at first sight might’ve been impractical, but, Lucille felt an instant connection to Gervais. Two years later, they were married, living their independent lifestyles while finding a way to share their life together. Alice remembers her mother as the woman who sang to her, who read stories to her, who soothed her fears, who inspired her love for Herbology and so much more. After the death of her unborn son, Tiernan, she became a ghost of the woman she once was. In Lucille’s mind, she was every horrible thing her parents had thought of her, she was a failure of a mother, she was a failure to her whole family. The woman who used to attend every Ministry party on the arm of her husband now retreats, barely coming out to greet company, barely talking to her loved ones at all. While Gervais, Alice, & Florean know that she needs professional help, it didn’t seem like she’s able to accept it. Luckily, she was no danger to herself and has lived out her days borderline catatonic & completely detached.

SIBLING(S): Tiernan Fortescue, Deceased. EXTENDED FAMILY: Emmeline Vance ( cousin, verse dependent ), Florean Fortescue ( uncle )\

FLOREAN FORTESCUE:  | 58 | OWNER & CREATOR OF FLOREAN FORTESCUE’S ICE CREAM PARLOUR & LEATHER JACKET GAY/BI

Coming from a long line of Aurors, protectors, Hit Wixes, even noblemen who went up in the ranks because of their hardwork & success at protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves ( eventually being labeled blood traitors in French Wizarding Society for it ), Florean was much more of a creative mind. He as always working with hands, whether it was working on muggle & wizard cars & motor cycles or cooking, he always was able to create with them. He had the ambition to do something great, but didn’t like the idea of fighting. Of making the world more chaotic & less focused on the things that made your soul thrive. His love of food started at young age, and his love of making weird combinations of food started shortly after. Discovering that ice cream would be one of the perfect ways to express this mixed love of food that didn’t quite make sense was a revelation and with his trust fund, he created Fortescue’s in England. There he figured not only would it be a new start for the Fortescue name but something completely his own. Needless to say, it flourished and he’s been making flavors like Salted Caramel w/ Garlic to Strawberry Bubblegum (his niece’s favorite ), ever since. Florean also plays an important part for the Order of the Phoenix, using the apartment above Fortescue’s as an Order Member retreat and safe area. He’s also an informant & the eyes and ears keeping notes of the people of Diagon Alley.

BIRTH ORDER: Oldest! PET(S): BABY ( 7 ) & KIWI ( 9 and a half ) & BONAPARTE ( 2 ) & LILA FORTESCUE ( 15 ):Baby an Australian Shepherd, Kiwi a yellow lab, Lila a black cat that mainly keeps her mother company as her familiar. While Baby is much more Florean’s dog, it doesn’t stop Alice from kidnapping him from time to time, especially over the summer. Kiwi is Alice’s first true love, the dog she got after her brother’s death, who brings her immense support and comfort. When at home, Alice sleeps with the dog, eats with the dog, walks around her neigborhood and visits friends via floo with her dog, you name it. The pair are close, Alice still able to carry the dog even though she’s nearing tean years. When Kiwi had puppies, Alice kept one of them – Bonaparte – who separated himself from the rest with his boundless energy, constant attempt at barking ( that was often just a whine ), and non stop attention seeking nature. Alice fell in love with him right away, naming him after Napoleon as a joke because of his demanding but small nature. The runt of the litter, Alice loves him fiercely, whenever Alice is home he follows her practically everywhere – even the bath. Lila’s been around for what seems to have been Alice’s whole life, always more fond of spending time keeping Lucille company than bothering with Alice.

                                    SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: 7.5/10 only because as much as she tries to make up for it with all the training she does, while she can be lethal, she still is short and still training and always learning how to make up for that against people much bigger than that. OFFENSE: 9/10 DEFENSE: 8.5/10 SPEED: 9/10 INTELLIGENCE: 8.5/10 ACCURACY: 10/10 AGILITY: 8/10 STAMINA: 9.5/10 TEAMWORK: Fantastic at teamwork and often more of a leader than a follower. However, she will respect who is the leader if she feels they are competent enough, acting as a perfect right hand. TALENTS: Dueling. Fighting, physically. Compassionate & empathetic and able to manipulate people’s emotions to help them and if needed, help herself. SHORTCOMINGS: Emotionally repressive and compartmentalizes to an insane degree. Too forgiving. Unable to stop, take breaks, and can give into her obsessive tendencies. LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: English, French, conversational German, DRIVE?: Yes! JUMP-STAR A CAR?: Yes, haha, thanks Uncle Florean! CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: Yes. RIDE A BICYCLE?: Yes. SWIM?: Yes. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: Yes, the piano! PLAY CHESS?: Sometimes. Definitely not her first priority or something she’ll go to automatically. She’s not bad at it but she’s definitely not the best out there. BRAID HAIR?: Yes! Especially loves braiding flowers into hair. TIE A TIE?: Yes! Alice loves her ties! PICK A LOCK?: Yes!

             PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: Marilyn Lima EYE COLOR: Blue HAIR COLOR: Currently, a dark brown. Though as mentioned before, Alice loves LOVES to change up her hair, changes up her hair often. Her favorite hair color is between bubblegum pink and her natural dirty blonde. She really really loves pink though. HAIR TYPE/STYLE: Naturally, Alice was blessed with easy to manage, loose waves and fairly soft. Alice makes sure to condition and manage it really well between all her hair coloring charms, doing a few hair masks every week. The only issue she has with her hair is it’s sometimes can get oily, though she makes sure to wash it enough as to where that doesn’t happen often. Alice’s hair styles vary from Leia like space buns to loose and free. Half up, half down is probably her usual most practical style she likes to wear, adding her favorite sunflower clip at the base of the top bun. GLASSES/CONTACTS?: Alice needs glasses but only slightly – she’s slightly farsighted. She only wears them when she’s got intense studying sessions where she has to read a lot, she uses them. DOMINANT HAND: Left! But she writes with her right. Her duelling hand is her left, though. She’ll duel and write a letter at the same time! HEIGHT: Alice is a shortie. A short hoe. 5′2″ on a good day! WEIGHT: 54 kgs/120 pounds BUILD: While Alice definitely has the appearance of looking extremely thing, she’s ALL lean muscle. Most of her body weight is muscle and bones, but she is healthy enough to make sure maintains a healthy amount of fat. EXERCISE HABITS: Every morning Alice goes for a run, at least 5 miles during the school year. During the summer her training is much more intense and diversified. Alice has been learning Krav Maga as of late and takes boxing lessons from some of her father’s Auror trainee’s. She’s exceptionally trained in Savate, has been since she was a child. Alice does an intense round of stretching at night before bed for 30 minutes, rolling out her muscles, the works. After her daily run, Alice practices her Dueling, using an empty classroom she’s scouted out for Dueling Club, charming dummy after dummy to approach etc. At home, Alice trains for at least 3 hours a day ( but will take one week off a month to train less and to explore more, so, only an hour a day ), reading up on any new developments in the martial arts and dueling worlds. SKIN TONE: Bitch is white! Basically, a few shades darker than pale. TATTOOS: Carefully placed floral tattoos. As her Uncle Florean went with her this past summer ( end of June ) to get her first tattoo, something her father would blow a gasket at. While she’s planned for a good few more once she’s left home, this was her first tattoo.   PIERCINGS: Ears & Bellybutton. When I say ears I mean Helix, Forward Helix, Industrial,  Lobe Piercings, Rim/Auricle. MARKS/SCARS: Sweet lord, well, Alice has freckles very lightly spattering across her cheeks and some on her shoulders. And when I mean light, I mean LIGHT. As for scars, USUAL EXPRESSION: Usually a smile or a very open warm expression. Unless she’s Dueling or working on something, then she’s ridiculously focused and almost a resting bitch face. CLOTHING STYLE: Truly this gyal is clothing goals. When she wears jeans, they have to have a floral pattern stitched on. She loves loves loose fitting tops that are cinched at he waist. Long maxi dresses. But also? Alice loves wearing overalls when she does anything Herbology related, especially when she tends her families garden at home that her mum hasn’t kept up. When Alice means business or is just feeling like she needs to go slay, she’s very inclined to wear suits, much like Harry Styles style of suits though? Dark Florals, withplatform leather boots of all different colors. Or styles.  Jumpsuits of all colors and patterns as well. Another favorite combo is short skirts with leather jackets. When going to concerts, Alice wears her favorite floral charmed Doc martens. With EVERY outfit, Alice wears a pair of sunglasses. She has an extensive sunglasses collection she cherishes. On New Years, she goes even more into sparkles & such than she usually does. Christmas, she’ll wear something that emulates the star on top of the tree or some really ugly cheesy Christmas sweater that Florean likes to knit. On Easter, she’ll wear something long, floral and flowy.  When working out, the recent invention of the sports bra has saved her ass. Unless she’s practicing Krav Maga or Savate where uniforms are involved, for running she wears a Sports Bra with a cut out tight fitting shirt or a tank top with extremely short shorts. Some other styles include: [ x ] [ x ] [ x ] [ x x ] [ x ] [ x ]  With her school outfits, Alice gets away with as much improv as she can, wearing funky socks, adding pins on ties and jewelry galore. Alice’s favorite sort of lingerie and underclothes are lacy and delicate, otherwise she’d prefer not to wear a bra or anything too heavy duty – luckily she doesn’t have to. Sometimes Alice will bind when she’s feeling somewhat dysphoric, and those are the days she’s definitely more masc in appearance. Otherwise, Alice really does enjoy being topless & naked, unfortunately, that’s not usually socially acceptable. JEWELRY: Alice ADORES jewelry. She’s always wearing a piece of jewelry at all times. Usually stacked rings, stacked necklaces. Dangling pendants. Hanging pendants with crystals on the bottom. A ring for almost every finger. A family heirloom with the Fortescue family crest is perhaps her most prized possession. It’s been past down from son to son, until Alice, who was not a son but just as worth. Alice’s heirloom is a sword pendant. Though not in that picture, there are flowers near the base of the sword and on the blade there’s a phrase that means ‘With A Warrior’s Heart’. ALLERGIES: Bigots. Walnuts. Penicillan.

[dannycaing]

FEEL THROUGH

FEEL THROUGH by Danny Caing Date Written:  April 8, 2019

CHAPTER 1  THE PRESENT DAY

Location:  Fite Road,  Woodstock,  Memphis, Tennessee, USA

Zora's father died in a car accident when she was born blind.  Her mother,  Cindy,  works at the Grace Community Church,  a walking distance from their house.  She inherited the small bungalow house from her husband with two rooms and a basement.  Since Zora was born,  they stayed in the basement as their permanent room.  The rooms on the ground floor was a library and music or playroom for Zora.

When Zora celebrated her 8th birthday,  there were 32 guests in her house mostly from the family members of the church.  She was allowed to touch their faces and played with other kids. The visitors were surprised when Zora mentioned their names after touching their faces since it was the first time they met her.  She told them that in fact, she had seen them in her dreams and could recognize them in their voice.

KEITH WILLIAMS:  Well,  it's good to hear you've seen us in your dreams, Zora.

ZORA: We certainly met each other many times Mr. Williams. You were worried about Brad in the Middle East War. Gloria just graduated from Woodstock High School.

Everyone in the room was surprised to hear what just Zora had said. Cindy tried to interfere with their discussion and hopefully divert their attention.  But Keith insisted more to know everything about what Zora had said because he was a bachelor.

KEITH WILLIAMS:  Who is Brad?  And who is Gloria?

ZORA:  They are your kids,  Mr. Williams.  I'm sorry that your wife died in a plane crash.  She was a beautiful and smart lady.

CINDY:  Please stop!  I'm sorry, this is enough!  Zora is confused.  It's the first time she has this many crowds.

LILIBETH McHOLM:  Your child is gifted,  Cindy.  She can see the future.  She can save lives if that's what she has foretold about Keith's destiny.

ZORA:  Hello,  Mrs. McHOLM! I wish to congratulate your son,  Henry,  as one of the top notches on the Bar Examination.

LILIBETH McHOLM:  My son,  Henry,  is going to be a lawyer?  But he's still in high school. You can recognize my voice.

ZORA: He's going to be a Senator from this state.

All the guests in the room were interested in Zora's dreams and everyone wanted to participate in the conversation. Pastor Frederick Newstone was amazed by her wisdom. He wanted to test her if she believes in God and not influenced by the devil.

PASTOR NEWSTONE:   Do you believe in Jesus Christ,  Zora?  

ZORA:  Jesus is the Living Word of God.  John 1:14 it says, THE WORD BECAME FLESH AND MADE DWELLING AMONG US. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.  

PASTOR NEWSTONE:  How come she knows all these things,  she's only an eight years old girl?

CINDY:  She always listens to the Bible Study program on the radio and T.V. shows for two years now. And she has been telling me to fix my eyes on Jesus Words.

PASTOR NEWSTONE:  Why Jesus Words,  Zora? God is everywhere and not only in Words.  

ZORA:  You pray to communicate with God.  But when you read Jesus Words,  God is speaking to you through the Holy Spirit.  John 8:47 says HE WHO BELONGS TO GOD HEARS WHAT GOD SAYS. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.

ABBY HOUSTON:  Are you suggesting that we will concentrate on reading Jesus Words in the four gospels?   What verse in the gospel that says we must focus on His Words?

ZORA:  John 15:1-8 says,  I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.  He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.  YOU ARE ALREADY CLEAN BECAUSE OF THE WORD I HAVE SPOKEN TO YOU. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me?  I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing.  If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.  IF YOU REMAIN IN ME AND MY WORDS REMAIN IN YOU, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.  This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

RICHARD MONTEREY:  What about the Old Scriptures and the Acts to revelation?

ZORA:   Matthew 5:17 says,  do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but TO FULFILL THEM.  The Modern Church has instead fallen in love with Paul, or, more correctly, the points in Paul's writings that soften the requirements of costly grace which Jesus taught. This causes a vying for control over the church. Either Paul and his Dispensation of Grace applies, or Jesus and His costly grace gospel apply. We have developed two masters. Mainstream Christian theologians largely defend dismissing Jesus' words as applicable only to a prior dispensation of Law. Sometimes this is called Dispensationalism or Covenant Theology, but it all ends up the same: marginalizing Jesus' words. Paul teaches us that it is necessary to treat Jesus's teachings pre-resurrection as irrelevant.   There are at least 24 doctrines of Paul that contradict Jesus' teachings.  And Matthew 7: 24-25 says,  Therefore everyone who heard these WORDS OF MINE and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.

AUDREY SANDERS:  In John 14:6,  Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

ZORA:  John 1: 1-2 says,  In the beginning, was THE WORD, and THE WORD WAS WITH GOD, and THE WORD WAS GOD. JESUS WAS WITH GOD IN THE BEGINNING.  John 16:6-8 says,  I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your WORD. Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. I gave them the WORDS you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me.  

BERNADETTE LEWIS:  John 3:16   For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

ZORA:  John 14:9,  Jesus answered: "Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, 'Show us the Father'? John 10:27 says,  My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.  John 8: 51 Jesus said,  I tell you the truth, if anyone KEEPS MY WORD, he will never see death.  

PASTOR NEWSTONE:  Are Jesus JESUS WORDS?  We focus on the person Jesus Christ,  not His Words.

ZORA:  Luke 21:33 says,  Heaven & Earth will pass away, but MY WORDS will never pass away. The words of Jesus Christ are life-changing and timeless. When Jesus spoke, lives were transformed and the trajectory of life forever altered. Whether you are just beginning to seek Jesus or have been a believer for years, JESUS WORDS can always speak new truths into your life!  JESUS IS THE LIVING WORD OF GOD.   JESUS is human as God.  JESUS WORDS is God, the human body JESUS and the HOLY SPIRIT. John 16:13 says, But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come.

CHAPTER 2  THE FUTURE

Location:  Fite Road,  Woodstock,  Memphis, Tennessee, USA Date:   August 17, 2083,  8:32 A.M. Tuesday,

There are so many visitors from all over the country in the house of Zora,  judges, doctors, scientists,  engineers,  astronauts, celebrities, newscasters, businessmen,  senators,  and generals of the armed forces.  They brought the families with them,  friends and relatives.  The house has an extension with a mini-stadium that can accommodate 2,000 guests. Every year people who knew Zora gathered together to seek a piece of advice from her dreams.   When Zora's blindness was healed she lost her dreams.  Cindy had been bedridden for years was also healed by an old faith healer named Leo.  They let the old man stay in their house for a week because of the bad weather at that time.  Later he left them without saying goodbye. A great storm is coming, that's why the guests are gathered together today. It is not an ordinary storm.  Auroras appear on the eastern sky starts to rumble, everyone is holding hands and kneeling together while Zora leads the prayer.

ZORA:  This, then, is how you should pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

Background Music: "Feel Through" by Danny Caing https://soundcloud.com/imago-within/feel-through-by-danny-caing

All Rights Reserved Wonderful Stories Limited Copyrighted @ 2019

[sakakiyushou]

Missing

Because the spoilers make me sad, and because of that, I'm going to make you sad.

Kinda.

Listen to Missing by Evanescence for extra sads, and possibly middle school flashbacks.

When you finally come to, eyes peeling open slowly, dazed and aching, you realize that you are home again. Safe. Sound.

Everything looks the same.

Same room.

Same home.

Same pets. Get off me, En! Core!

Same mom.

Same dad.

Wait...DAD?!

And that's when you remember.

Words tear themselves out of your mouth, a dribbling spiel as a cascade of tears pour from your eyes.

I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'm-

Two pairs of arms wrap around you as you wail, gripping the bodies before you in absolute grief and repentance.

You don't realize it yet, but as a pair of orange and a pair of green look over you, they have now idea what distresses you so.

-- Turns out, that is the theme for the next several minutes.

When prompted what's wrong, you launch into how much damage you've caused, how much pain you had spread. Your parents only stare at you.

Then, you speak of dimensions and wars. They only stare blankly, faces contorted in confusion.

Then, you mention Leo, mention him and- they silence you, stilling your voice with carefully placed fingers on your mouth.

"That's sounds incredible," one says. "But nothing like that happened," says the other.

Yet, how can that possibly be true? You remember it as clear as day. The power thrumming through your veins. The might of your claws. The poison of him on your soul, as your soul. The anguished screams of your victims your friends. Wait-

"Gongenzuka! He was there! Sawatari, too! The Lancers! Reiji! They can explain-"

"Yuya!" "Wait-"

You are out the door before either parent has a chance to stop you.

-- You were wrong about Gongezuka.

Sawatari, too.

Sawatari just straight up tells you you're crazy. At least, Gongenzuka has enough patience to let you down gently...or maybe that's worse, because even your friend you've known for years doesn't believe you.

You start asking random people about the war, at that point.

You're not brave enough to ask anyone you actually know anymore. Not after Gongenzuka.

Most ignore you. Some stare incredulously. Others mock you.

"Looks like Yusho's son has lost it."

For some reason, that hurts worse. Not necessarily just the insinuation of being crazy, but that people saw you as an extension of your father. You thought you had moved past that. You thought you had proven you were more that. (Something inside you boils. You crush it without a second thought. It feels too much like-)

By the time Gonegenzuka finds you to drag you home, you're more than willing to go along with him and forget this day. Maybe tomorrow will make sense.

-- It doesn't.

You don't make the same mistake yesterday, running your mouth without a doubt that you will be believed.

Mom asks you about it.

"What happened yesterday?"

You brush it off and smile (a smile that's too wide, too thin; it doesn't reach your eyes), saying that you must have been ill yesterday and dreamt it.

I even dreamt that dad was gone for 3 years.

You let that drop to see how your mother would respond.

She gets an odd look, a strange gazed stare drifting across her face.

"That's silly. Yusho's always been here. He wouldn't ever leave us."

Your mother quickly walks across the kitchen to the living room and brings back a photo album.

It's filled with pictures you don't recognize, from times that never happened. Or did they? Your head hurts.

"See?"

You wonder if she just trying to convince you or herself.

-- Dad isn't any better.

"Why would I leave you? My precious wife and child?"

He says it with such conviction that you almost believe it. Almost.

Not even to stop a war?

You've rehearsed that line so much in your head, you convinced yourself that it was truth, once you’d found about Fusion and the 2nd You Show School. (He didn't leave you for nothing. It wasn't on purpose. He had his reasons; he had to have-)

"Fortunately, that never happened. It was just a dream, right?"

You swear you hear your father's voice waver and catch his smile twitch, plastic.

Is that where you learned it from?

... He's go that glazed look in his eyes, too.

-- The next two weeks are filled with research on you own. You are too afraid to give voice to your thoughts, to the memories that no one holds, but you.

(You do name drop though. Occasionally. Sora. Shun. Dennis. Crow. Jack. Kaito. Edo. You never get a response...not even a hint of a reaction.)

What time not spent at school, the duel school, or other mandatory work, is spent looking up dates, times, and events.

No disappearances. No attacks. No Junior Youth Tournament.

In fact, the tournament is coming up, and you have to prepare for it...again.

Nico Smiley had come pounding at the door, hoping to promote the son in place of the retired father.

That's one thing you know that is different. Instead of disappearing 3 years ago, your father simply retired, hoping to focus on his school and family life. From then on, Strong Ishijima was the champion.

(You never duel Strong Ishijima, never revealed Pendulum Summoning to the public. When you do so in a practice duel at the You Show, everyone one was shocked, blown away. There are more students than before, you note.

"Where did you get those cards?" Shuzo hisses, gripping your shoulders.

It hurts.

"No one speaks a word of this," Dad all, but commands.

"It will be your secret weapon for the tournament," Mom whispers, winking.

You don't know what to think.)

In any case, you have to prepare for a tournament you already participated in, have to duel with cards everyone should know about already, but no one does, and deal with the fact that no one will ever believe you, when you say that it's all wrong.

And on top of all that, there's this nagging feeling...like you’re forgetting something important...

Something very important...

And you have no idea what it is.

-- You thinks Shuzo knows. What the missing thing is.

Or at least, his heart does.

You are delivering something to him for Mom, when you see him staring into a room of his home. (You've let yourself in. You've been over at Shuzo's house so often that you have a house key. That much hasn't changed.)

The room is filled with boxes. A flower pendant is poking out of one of them. The sight fills your heart with more pain than you could possibly imagine.

Tears roll, and you're paralyzed with pain and agony, unable even to reach for your googles to shield your eyes.

I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.

Wait, what did you say?

Shuzo blinks and turns to you.

"Huh? Yuya? When'd you get it here? Did you just say something?"

(He looks at you with the same glazed look that your father and mother get whenever you reference the three-year absence, but there are tears glistening like dew drops on his face. You don't think he even knows they are there.)

"No-nothing! I just came to give you the thing Mom said you wanted!"

"Oh, thanks," he quips, trembling hands grabbing the item from you.

However, in the back of your mind, you are wondering just what was I apologizing for?

It had never crossed your mind until just now that with all that you remember, there are things that you have forgotten, as well.

And somehow, that's scarier than not knowing anything at all.

-- Getting ready for the tournament plays out almost exactly the same as the first time, right down to duels.

And it's freaking EERIE.

Michio's duel goes off without hitch. Well, almost.

(The words jump out of your throat before you think about what you are saying.

You're alive!

"Well, of course, I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Michio states, one eyebrow raised in an incredulous fashion.

It takes everything in you not to blurt out ‘because you were carded,’ and stick to the script of the duel. But, really, you are happy to see him moving and breathing and not a piece of paper.)

The duel proceeds from that point on like you never said anything different (except for whispers of Yusho's crazy son, but that had been going on since the first day.) Every move is the same as the duel you’ve had before. You could cheat. You know all his plays from beforehand. You could totally sweep him. You have cards from all the duels up to, well, him. (It's one of the few things that stayed the same from the time in your memories that makes you think you aren't crazy.) You could wipe him out in one fell swoop, but you don't. Instead, you play along as best you can, an actor following the whims of an invisible playwright.

(You have to reveal Pendulum summoning to do so. It exasperates Shuzo and the others, but it can't be helped. The media frenzy is just as bad as the first time. Though, now more people say you’re cheating, because you actually remembered how to do it this time, and someone got a look at the cards on your field. No one can do anything to you, though. The cards are legal, so it's allowed. You wonder if Sora will show up after this like before.

He doesn't.)

When you finally come home, you’re exhausted, and the pain in your heart is agonizing.

Everything is so wrong, and you still don't know what you are forgetting, what is missing.

-- The quiz duel is just as annoying the second time around as it was the first time.

No, even more annoying, because, you actually remember all the answers to the questions (and can’t say a thing), and how much you wanted to wring that scrawny little brat's neck and show him his place and- Breathe.

BREATHE.

Calm down.

(Don'tthinklikethatdon'tthinklikethatdon'tthinklikethatdon'tthinklikethatdon't-)

You win. You win the duel. It doesn't feel like a victory.

It feels like you just survived. Like you had just completed a play that was a hair’s breath away from collapsing. (Battling demons the entire time.)

And now the violent ache is a vicious gnawing hole.

What is missing?

What are you forgetting?

How do you find it when everything is wrong?!

It's really hard to smile now. But, your father's last words to you sing in your heart, and you try to anyway.

(But does that really mean anything when your father is here now? You crush that thought before you can ponder it.)

-- It's Meiru's duel that give you the most hope and the most pain.

My Darling!

Her voices resounds from across the room.

Your head swivels to stare at her with wide disbeliving eyes. Disbelieving ears. Disbelieving heart.

Her hands are clasped around her mouth and looks as shocked as you.

(She didn't say it like that before.

She didn't act like that before!

Does she remember?

Does she know?!)

She blinks, coughs, and quickly covers up her trail, trying to get back to the screenplay that is this duel.

It's different, though. She knows it. You know it.

The fortunes are different. Where they once said destruction was imminent, and that you were destined to fall, now they say you are at crossroads. To continue falling or rise up. The change in wording was so subtle that if you weren’t looking, searching, scavenging for even the smallest hints that something changed or that someone remembered, you would have missed it.

Meiru doesn't look into your eyes the entire duel. She looks ashamed. Like she did something wrong.

But, what could she have possibly done? You were the one who...who destroyed everything...almost destroyed everything.

(In a way, her predictions about you were right, just not about the current duel. They extended far past the duel to him, and who could possibly predict that?)

You win this duel too, as expected, with all the dance and fanfare of the first time. (You've gotten good at pretending, you think.) But, just before you leave, Meiru rushes up to you, pulls you by the ear ("Ow!"), and whispers...

Go back to the room with the flower. That's all I can tell you.

Wha-

And suddenly, you’re ushered out of the Divination School with more force than necessary (and with withering glares that make your skin crawl and definitely weren't there before.) However, as you walk back home, you can't help, but feel giddy.

Maybe she remembers.

Maybe she can help you remember the Very Important Thing that you forgot.

After all, she figured out he was there. Before anyone else really. (Even if he was just an unnamed darkness, then...)

-- The next day, you rush over to the Divination Duel School after class the next day, feet pounding the pavement in your hurry. You almost crash headlong into Gongezuka.

"Ahh! Yuya-"

"Sorry! Gottarun! TalkyoulaterGon!"

You flash Gongenzuka a smile, the first real one in weeks (no acting; no pretending; you don't even realize it), and you are off, not noticing the stunned look on Gongenzuka's face, followed by scrunched brow.

"Yuya..."

-- You really should get used to things being too good to be true.

You are barred from entry into the Unno Divination School and not for lack of trying.

You make past the gate (without getting scared stiff this time. Not many things scare you much anymore actually) and into the building without much fuss. But, when you're inside? Just across the threshold into the school? It's a miasma that crawls over you, choking you from the inside out. Glares upon glares on you, digging into you skin, gouging like knives.

Judging. Blaming.

You are not welcome.

"You are not welcome." The Headmistress echoes. (How can a person echo a feeling?! But, she does it, staring with cold eyes)

You want to leave. They want you to leave. ... But, you need answers.

"I'm sorry I came unannounced, but-"

"Leave at once."

"Eh, but I-"

"Say no more. Just leave."

Your face contorts, brow furrowing.

"I haven't even-"

"I know what you want here, and you will not have it. I know that you are searching, but I care not to know why. We will have nothing to do with you, demon spawn so you should leave and never return here, unless it is a sanctioned professional duel."

I-i-

"Now LEAVE.

And you do. Out of the building. Out of the gate, creaking and aging, shuddering shut behind you. Away for the stares and the sound of a collapsing star that is you heart.

You forgot. You forgot...

...that if they remember the war, they will remember aftermath.

That if they remember the aftermath, they remember him.

And if they remember him, they remember that you are him, and that you are just as much to blame.

And they are psychics, after all. Diviners. Fortune tellers. They would know more than most. How could you forget you were to blame?

(But, you didn't forget that. You just forgot that having memories would enable others to blame you, too. You got used to nobody remembering that it's your fault. Idiot.)

You flee Unno Divination as fast as you once approached, googles covering the evidence.

Shielding a shattered heart.

Maybe you don't deserve to remember what is missing.

Maybe you just deserve to remember everything else...

As punishment.

-- It's when your lying in bed, eyes dry and heart aching after a dinner that taste like sand and concerned calls from those who can't understand, that you remember Meiru's words. Just barely.

Go back to the room with the flower. That's all I can tell you.

You sit up so fast you almost launch out of bed.

Meiru had said that, but why? What did that mean? Why was that so important to tell him? Did she know that she wouldn't get another chance to tell him otherwise? Knew that his attempt to find her would end in tears? Was that why she looked guilty? And what did that even mean? What room? And what flower? How vague was that? That could be any room with flowering plants?! Hell, there were flowers in the living room right now, and nothing happened in there. So what did she mean? What in the dimensions world you gleam from that?! What could Meiru possibly be tal-

Your train of thought crashes to a stop, colliding with a single memory. Of a father man and room filled with boxes. Of forgotten tears and apologizes for reasons unknown. Of small flower pendant, barely reflecting the light from the doorway.

And once that memory passes, other seemingly random bits fall into place.

Arguments over emptying an unused room, and no one ever getting around to it. Everyone avoiding that particular place in Shuzo's house, and no one ever mentioning it. Discovering strange items that belong to neither Hiragi or Sakaki, all of which somehow find their way into the room with boxes, including a fan that none recognize, but makes both you and Shuzo cringe for no reason. You cried on that day too...

That's the room Meiru was referencing. The same room that showed you that you had forgotten something in the first place... But, are you ready to go back to that place again?

Do you deserve to?

Would it help any?

You clutch the pendant around your neck.

This world is wrong, but it's also free from the damage Leo and you caused.

Maybe you should let missing things stay missing.

Remembering won't get any of it back after all...

-- You have to know though.

You have to know what's wrong, what's missing.

Because maybe, just maybe...if you find the missing thing, you can finally make peace with this off-kilter world, and let sleeping demons lie.

And maybe, finally, move forward with this second chance whether or not you actually deserve it.

So, when you get a letter from Akaba Reiji, you decide that this is your chance to finally settle two things:

1. What is the missing thing, possibly connected to the room with boxes?

And,

2. Does Akaba Reiji, your friend, the duelist prodigy, CEO of Leo Corp, Leader of the Lancers, the guy who dragged you into an interdimentional war in the first place, and son of Akaba Leo, instigator of the war in the first place, remember anything at all about what happened? Or is it truly just you?

(And psychics, but they can also see things normal people can't see. So, you can't really say how much they actually remember and how much are visions. And you can't really go up them and ask either, all things considering...)

You stop by Shuzo's house on the way to LDS.

You have to know.

-- You stand in front of the door, staring at the door knob, fingers quivering just shy of it.

You've been here before.

Well, yeah, you have been here before, but you don't mean a couple days (weeks?) ago.

You mean you've been here before, from the time of your memories, though you are just shy of remembering, the feeling of familiarity so strong that you can taste the memory on your lips.

You could almost say that this room was your own room once, but it wasn't yours. It was someone's though... Someone important.

Someone missing.

With that thought, you clench the knob and force yourself to open the door.

You have to know.

Why is everything wrong?

What is the important thing you forgot?

Who is missing?

-- Gasp.

Yuzu.

[tirednerd2012]

Eigtbo!Barley having a crush on someone was is raised by a single dad? Maybe it's the older sister of one of Ian's friends who most people assume is a young mom but she actually just helps her dad out with her lil' brother all the time and hates the way people judge her dad for it and by extension Barley. Apologizes if this is too specific.

Thank you for the correction! Here you go! Sorry I read the last request wrong, but I hope you enjoy! This one is a little longer!

Barley let out a yawn as he pulled into the driveway of the Hunters' home. He just got off a particularly exhausting shift and he was ready to get Ian and go home. The Hunters had offered to let Ian stay the night, but he still didn't know them too well and was worried enough about him being there for an hour and a half after school. The father, Frank, had talked to Barley over the phone, but he was still struggling with letting Ian have more freedom.

He stepped out of the van and made sure he had his keys before walking up to the door and knocking. After a moment, a young elf girl around his age opened the door. She had beautiful long hair and bright green eyes and Barley forgot why he was there for a moment.

"Hi, can I help you?" she asked.

"Oh! Sorry, um, I'm Barley, Ian's older brother. I'm here to pick him up," Barley said. She smiled at him and then called the boys down. Ian was with Leo Hunter, his new friend from school. He heard Frank on the phone from the other room when he stepped in.

"Barley!" Ian called. Then he stopped. "Are you okay?"

"What? Yeah, bud, just tired. Did you have a good time?" Barley asked. Ian nodded and his smiled returned as Barley looked at the girl.

"Oh, my name is Jenny. I'm Leo's older sister."

"Nice to meet you."

"Boys, why don't you grab your bags from the dining room?" Jenny asked. Both kids took off, leaving them alone. "So, you're his guardian?"

Barley mentally prepared himself for the questions he was sure was coming.

"Yes."

"Will you be at the parents' conference tomorrow?"

"Yes," Barley answered. He had to work a few extra hours today and yesterday, but he made sure he would be able to take the day off. He planned on surprising Ian to a dinner out as a treat.

"Well, then I guess I'll see you there. It'll be nice having someone else around."

"Your dad can't make it?"

"He has to work. It's just us," she answered before he could bring up her mother. Her tone told Barley not to question it further. "I help out with Leo."

"It's nice to know," Barley said. "I like knowing people who have my brother around. This is, um, my first time letting him stay somewhere outside of school without me."

"And you're not having a nervous breakdown?" she chuckled and Barley's shoulders relaxed.

"No, surprisingly not. Your dad seemed nice over the phone."

"Well, Ian is welcomed here any time. My dad doesn't let me work, so I'm the main person watching Leo and I'll be glad to have Ian over whenever he likes."

She brought out a pen from her jacket and wrote her number down on a piece of paper and handed it to him.

He was in a daze even after him and Ian got to the car. He couldn't get her out of his head the entire night.

The next day wasn't nearly as good. He woke Ian up, got him ready for school while they cheered his affirmations (Barley always wanted Ian to believe in himself). Ian hugged him and told him he loved him and then he cleaned the house and worked on his homework from his online classes until it was time for the conference. He tried to get Jenny out of his head. He didn't know a lot about her and he really didn't want to catch feelings for a stranger.

A stranger that treated Ian amazingly and opened her home to him. Ian told him all about how nice she was and she even made cookies for the boys.

No, Barley, he told himself. Stop.

He went to the conference with a lot on his mind. He messed with the dress shirt he wore. He hated it, but he wanted to look his best. When he arrived, he was greeted by a few teachers.

We love Ian, they all said. Of course you do, Barley thought. Who couldn't?

Ian was doing well in school. Barley basically knew everything anyway, but he wanted to hear from the teachers. He wanted to show that he could be present in his brother's life, that he didn't miss the big events. He worked his schedule around Ian's life to the best of his ability.

"Barley Lightfoot, it's been so long!" one of the moms, Karen (Barley didn't actually know her name, that's just what he assumed it would be) and her friend, Stacy, stopped him.

He groaned to himself, but their kids played with Ian on the playground, so he turned around with a forced smile.

"I'm a little surprised to see you here," Karen said with a passive aggressive tone.

"Well, I didn't want to miss this."

"I thought you would have admitted you're not fit to be Ian's guardian by now," she said. Barley heard these words often, and knew they were spoken even more, but it still hurt his chest. He was doing his best.

"I don't see how that's your business."

"The safety of a child is my business."

"Are you suggesting Ian's not safe with me?" Barley asked, trying to control the anger in his tone. He'd never hurt Ian. He would do anything in the world to protect his little brother from harm. He would lay his life down for Ian without a second thought. No one in the world loved Ian more than Barley did. No one could.

"I'm suggesting a kid can't raise a kid," Karen replied, indifferently. She glanced over to make sure teachers weren't around. "It's nothing personal dear, you of all people just aren't meant to be a parent. You're a kid yourself. Irresponsible and stuck in a fantasy world. Ian deserves more than you could offer him."

"You're just being selfish by keeping Ian," Stacy chimed in. Barley's blood was boiling, but he felt his face burning. Him? Selfish?

"Everything I do is to keep him safe and provide for him."

"Someone else could do better," Karen said. Barley couldn't take it anymore and went outside to the parking lot. He was angry, but the tears threatened to spill and show his true emotions.

He was scared as hell. Ian had been in his custody for a couple of years now, but it was always one problem after the other. He gave it his all every day. Ian was an easy enough kid, he didn't ask for much and was always understanding. He was satisfied just by seeing Barley and giving him a hug, or falling asleep in his arms while Barley read him a bedtime story. Sure, it was easier not working all the hours he had before, but maybe they had a point.

Someone else could do better. Someone could provide more for Ian without struggling nearly as much as Barley did. He took a deep breath and allowed a couple of tears to shed.

Was he really being selfish?

"You're not a bad guardian, you know." Barley jumped when he heard a familiar female voice behind him. He swung around and saw Jenny there, her arms crossed. She sat beside him, clearly flustered.

"Uh, thanks?"

"People look at you exactly how they look at my dad and it just- ugh! I mean, what you're doing for Ian, I know has to be hard. My dad left our mom and took us because she was psychotic and wanted to hurt Leo all the time, so he decided to put his kids' safety above everything else. He didn't let anything take us away and people who don't even know him look down on him!" she ranted.

Barley didn't know how to respond. Honestly he was trying not to focus too much on her rose perfume or how she looked cute, but terrifying, even when she was mad. For a moment, he forgot why he came out to the parking lot to begin with.

"And people treat you the same way, just because you love your brother and you don't want anyone to take him away from you," she sighed. The mention of Ian brought him back to the world. "How do you handle it?"

"I just ignore them the best I can. Sometimes, like earlier, it gets harder, but honestly, I have Ian. I miss my parents every day and I'm scared shitless about raising him right, but as long as I got him, there's nothing I won't do for him. I mean, he looks at me like a hero and I don't understand why, but I hold on to it," he answered.

She looked at him. Her green eyes seemed to be examining his soul, as if trying to see if he was lying. Or trying to figure him out. Barley noticed that the top of her right iris had a hint of blue mixed in with the green. Her hair fell perfectly to her shoulders and he could hardly breathe.

It wasn't just how beautiful he was. It was the fact she stood here, hardly knowing him, defending him as a guardian. She knew what was most important and she didn't have judgement. No, she admired it.

"Ian's lucky to have you," she said at last.

"I actually think it's the other way around," Barley confessed, sheepishly.

She smiled at him.

"Fine, you two are lucky to have each other."

"I just want what's best for him."

"You are what's best for him."

"You've only known me for a day."

"You know a lot about a man when you know his truest desires. Yours is obviously to protect and provide for your brother. And you should hear the way he talks about you when you're not around. He loves you so much," she said. "You are who he needs to be with, Barley."

[michaelguyyo]

1-70

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?

Yeah, Camila Mendes. She plays Veronica on Riverdale

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?

Again I’d like to point out Camila Mendes… Lmao but no for real, yeah of course I have, I have a lot of love to give (and to answer the first question seriously, I sure hope so. I’m dating a girl who I have a crush on always)

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in?

Hmmm…. Lizz I think, I mean even though there were some rough spots in the middle, I still count it. It’s been a while.

4: Have you ever changed for someone?

I’d like to think I improve all the time, I hope I’m changing for people for the better every day

5: How is your relationship with your ex?

Depends who you’re asking, I care about anyone I’d consider an ex. But some of em don’t like me, it happens.

6: Have you ever been cheated on?

I’d say so (see 62)

7: Have you ever cheated?

Yeah, as much as I’m embarrassed to admit it, I have. It was a rough time… That’s behind me though, bad experience all around.

8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating?

If she loyal, I don’t care what her reputation is. I’d be a little skeptical but I want people to prove themselves to me, not one to hold on to other’s reputations

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship?

In my opinion? Intimacy, passion. I dunno I want every kiss to feel just as exciting, every date to be full of just as many laughs.

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Relationships… Kinda. I dunno it’s weird, whichever I’m currently on at the time, I kinda wish it was the other. But to an extent, like I love whoever I’m with at any given time, I don’t want them to be outta my life in the least bit, especially now with Lizz she’s the best I could ask for.

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”?

Not something I’ve ever purposely done. But if both parties feel like it would be healthy and beneficial that’s up to them. I have nothing against it, but not something I’m actively looking for

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?

Yikes… Umm, depends what you’d consider hooking up? I’d sayyy, 6-7?

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?

Binch I regret everything I do all the time. I’m a super shitty boyfriend like 75% of the time and I’m always trynna do better. 

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?

14-15 honestly. High school, do whatever the fuck you want I don’t care.

15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”?

With like 2-3 years? Yeah… But an 18 year old getting it on with a freshman, or a gap as weird as that and you sure are pushing it.

16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”?

Hmmm… Infatuation, for sure. But love? Iffy… I’d probably lean towards no.

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet?

Sure why not.

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?

IN WHAT CONTEXT?

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship?

If you’re at the point that you’d rather kiss someone other than your current partner and you have the opportunity to (so like…….. I’d kiss Justin Timberlake over Lizz, but no opportunity) then it’s time to talk to your partner.

20: Are you currently in a relationship?

Ya, she fake tho

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?

FOR SURE, 100%. I wish all the people I’ve dated were still close to me.

22: Do you think people should date their friends?

Also for sure, your partner should be one of your best friends. It’s boring otherwise, super boring.

23: How many relationships have you had?

By my counts, 6, but that’s a liberal 6. Three that I’d call rather serious.

24: Do you think love can last forever?

Surrreeeeeeee, it’s not as easy as a fairy tale though

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?

Yuck. No. Not at all. It’s a good start though for sure.

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of?

What year is it the fuck

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?

Hold on to the people you hold dear, cherish the moments. Those moments won’t always be there.

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?

In my personal opinion, only to an extent. Like I’m pretty far from Lizz, but we see each other a few times a month. If I was in another state? Hell naw

29: What do you notice first about another person?

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, eyes and the way they light up when they laugh.

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

Straight as hell fam, surprising I know

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?

What the fuck year is it??? No, as long as they aren’t abusive, hell no.

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

Dating relationship, no I wouldn’t say so. Bad ones maybe but I’d never call them abusive.

33: Do you want to get married one day?

Yaaaaa, call me old fashioned but I love all that romance crap.

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed?

Y I K E S. It’s tacky even if it ends up not being a mistake. Unless it’s like a list of all past relationships with crosses through em, that’s kinda cool

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?

no next question

36: Are you still a virgin?

yes next question

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality?

As shitty as this sounds, to me, looks. No personality will make up for the fact that I’m not attracted to you… But you could be a little bland and I’d still be like damn ma at least you hot. But I doubt the relationship would last long without both.

38: Do you enjoy love films?

Yes pls I love movies.

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?

Surprisingly?? No??? Send me roses.

40: Have you ever had a valentine?

Ya of course, I try to do fun dates on Valentines when I can

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”?

Dinner, movie, dancing. I wanna dance with my girl all night.

42: Have you ever read “Romeo & Juliet”?

Yeah it was a school requirement, it was solid. Leo version best version.

43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends?

Yiiiikeeesss…. Honestly, my friends. But I consider my partner a friend…. But if I had to choose between Lizz and all my friends? I don’t think I could choose Lizz over everyone else. I would cry either way though, just a little more if I lost literally all my friends lmao I don’t think Lizz could support me through that, nobody could.

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”?

Probably, but I’m not very good at it. Suave, sure. Affectionate, sure. But generally romantic? Hmm… I try my best.

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?

I could imagine dating any one of my friends. All cuties. All great people.

46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”?

Fuck this shit naw, I’m hot as hell and also the friendzone isn’t real. Unless you talkin about your buddy’s house. Then I’ve been in the friendzone

47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite?

I miss Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield. 

48: What’s your favorite love song?

You and I by Ingrid Michaelson

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Yeah, unfortunately far more than I’d like.

50: If you’re single, why do you think you are?

fuk u

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy?

Poor? I am a male so society doesn’t expect me to marry rich. So that’s not even a small thought.

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?

People don’t ask me for relationship advice, but I don’t think I’m bad at it… I’m just sure people from the outside think very differently about me and my relationship skills lmao

53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single?

Nope, still love couples. Always fun to be around if they’re cool people.

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)?

Not? Facebook is dead grow up

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”?

Ya

56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship?

Ya

57: Do you think it’s silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?

Nothing is silly about depression or heartbreak. I mean don’t do it, but I understand the thought, there’s nothing wrong with a thought, just work through it.

58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship?

Dominant for sure oops

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary?

All the time? Not like extensively, I got to it… Just not immediately or whatnot, missed the midnight snap or something along those lines. Mostly I just get sidetracked

60: What’s your opinion on open relationships?

Do whatever the hell you want. Talk with your partner, if they into it then fuck it

61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family?

Again… Family, there’s just more of them. If you ever told me “who’s more important, 1 person or these important 5+ other people” I’d have a hard time choosing the one. It’s a lot easier getting over a relationship than getting over the loss of your entire family lmao

62: How do you define “cheating”?

Anything that hurts your partner involving your interactions with another person. Heavily flirting or the likes is considered cheating in my book. If you told your partner about it and they’d consider breaking up with you, that’s the line.

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?

Who the hell cares, no.

64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated?

Maybe a little bit, but I love Valentines Day… So who cares. I think the gifts sometimes is a little much. But a national date night? I’m all for it.

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”?

I. Love. Cuddling. Relationship not required, we can cuddle. Cuddling is pure as HELL

THANKS A BUNCH. There’s only 65 questions tho, not 70 so typo I imagine.

[wallythayer]

Taking on the Allergy Epidemic

These days, it seems like just about everyone has an allergy — and that’s not so far from the truth.

In 1970, only 10 percent of Americans suffered from a rhinitis allergy, the miserable runny-nose, watery-eye reaction associated with hay fever and other seasonal woes. By 2010, the percentage had grown to 30 percent.

The number of U.S. children with food allergies increased by 50 percent between 1997 and 2011, while the number of kids with peanut allergies tripled from 1997 to 2008. In Europe, hospital admissions for severe allergies rose sevenfold from 2003 to 2013.

Around the globe, an estimated 300 million people have asthma, and an estimated 1 billion people now experience an allergy, intolerance, or sensitivity. That’s roughly one in every seven of us.

We are in the throes of a global allergy epidemic.

But why?

Many health experts view the present moment as a perfect storm of allergy-inducing factors: Climate change is causing longer warm seasons and more pollen exposure; allergenic weeds are on the rise due to increased carbon emissions; and the decreasing quality of our food damages our microbiomes and, by extension, lowers our immunity. In addition, more than 100,000 new chemicals have been developed for use in material goods in just the past few decades, according to a study published in the journal Allergy, Asthma & Immunology Research. Of these chemicals, only a small percentage have been tested for their long-term health effects.

Despite all this, there is hope. As allergies are on the rise, so is knowledge among health experts about how to build resistance and stay healthy in a challenging environment. Here’s what they’re learning.

It’s in the Air

The dramatic uptick in allergies is linked to an increase in many forms of pollution, says Leo Galland, MD, a New York City–based functional-medicine practitioner and coauthor of The Allergy Solution.

Today, upward of 253 million vehicles travel on United States roadways, an increase from around 74 million in 1960, and their exhaust and particulate matter harm us directly, says Galland. Exposure to air pollution can trigger inflammation and oxidative stress in the lining of the respiratory tract and also increase our vulnerability to allergies by sensitizing these tissues. Still, traffic emissions are hardly the only source.

Forest fires have increased substantially because of climate change, scientists report. Fires now start earlier in the season and burn hotter and longer than in times past, all of which affect air quality. Their thick, black smoke can travel hundreds of miles and “is directly toxic to everyone,” Galland states.

Backyard fire pits and outdoor, open-flame cooking have similar effects. All wood smoke contains fine particulate matter and toxic chemicals, including benzene, formaldehyde, acrolein, and polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. This problem particularly affects people in impoverished areas around the world who use open-flame cooking indoors.

Toxic chemicals in our indoor environments have also multiplied dramatically. They hide in seemingly benign places — cleaning supplies, cosmetics, new furniture, and carpets that release chemicals into the air, resulting in that signature “new” smell.

Studies by the Environmental Working Group show that routine chemical exposure increases our overall “toxic burden” — the accumulation of chemicals that can be measured in our bloodstreams at any one time. This can change immune-system function, says Galland, making us more prone to allergic reactivity.

Some pollutants are double trouble. Carbon emissions, in particular, are not only airborne particulates, but they feed certain flora and make it easier for allergenic plants like ragweed to flourish.

In a study published in the Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology, researchers planted ragweed across central Baltimore as well as in suburban, semirural, and rural locations in Maryland. The urban ragweed “grew faster, flowered earlier, and produced significantly greater aboveground biomass and ragweed pollen” in the warmer, carbon-dioxide-rich urban locations than in the cooler, less-polluted rural locations, the study authors found. For anyone susceptible to allergies, an increase in pollen counts means a more severe allergic reaction.

As temperatures rise globally, the season for allergies begins earlier and ends later, so sufferers are not just sicker — they suffer longer. A 2015 report from the World Allergy Organization summed up these effects, noting that climate change “affects the start, duration, and intensity of the pollen season on the one hand, and the rate of asthma exacerbations due to air pollution, respiratory infections, and/or cold air inhalation, and other conditions on the other hand.”

This soup of airborne pollutants can be a toxic diet for the lungs. “The lungs have their own microbiome,” explains P. Michael Stone, MD, MS, an Ashland, Ore.–based functional-medicine physician. Airborne toxins take a toll on this delicate microbial ecosystem, weakening our defenses against allergies.

The sheer number of toxicants we are now exposed to daily “leads to imbalances,” says Gregory Plotnikoff, MD, MTS, FACP, a functional-medicine practitioner in Minneapolis. Overexposure triggers inflammatory processes in our bodies that would normally resolve when a threat has passed; instead they get stuck in the “on” position and “we can’t turn them back off,” he says. The result can be chronic inflammation.

What does chronic inflammation have to do with allergies? Ongoing inflammation interferes with the function of the body’s regulatory T-cells, explains Galland. Also known as T-regs or T-lymphocytes, these cells are responsible for turning off the immune response. When T-regs aren’t functioning properly, they don’t respond to the signal to stand down, and an ordinary immune response never resolves.

This is how we end up with autoimmune conditions, when the body attacks healthy tissue as if it were an allergen.

“The immune system works through balance,” says Galland. “When you have an excess of activity in some part of the immune system, it’s because of a failure of the mechanisms designed to control it.”

Diets on Fire

The food you eat can either help your body defend itself or fan the flames that lead to allergies. Like environmental toxins, the standard American diet — processed and fast foods high in sugar and unhealthy fats and low in protective phytonutrients — can trigger chronic inflammation. It’s bereft of foods that support microbial diversity, and it’s low in fiber, which is essential for healthy digestive function.

Because around 70 percent of the immune system is located in our gastrointestinal tract, optimal digestion and a diverse gut microbiome with enough beneficial bacteria are critical to reducing susceptibility to allergies and allergic reactions.

Processed foods often contain synthetic food additives, colorings, and preservatives that can also challenge digestion and provoke symptoms. Robyn O’Brien, founder of AllergyKids Foundation, points to the parallel rise of synthetic additives in the food supply and the spike in food allergies, intolerances, and sensitivities. She believes the body interprets some additives as invaders that require an immune response.

Pesticides and herbicides in conventionally grown foods may also be partly to blame for the rise in allergies and sensitivities. A 2013 study published in the journal Interdisciplinary Toxicology implicates glyphosate, the key ingredient in Roundup (an herbicide frequently applied to wheat crops), in the rise of celiac disease and gluten sensitivity.

Likewise, a 2012 study published in the Annals of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology found a class of chemicals called dichlorophenols (DCP) — which are created during the breakdown of common pesticides and commonly found in tap water — that correspond strongly to the presence of at least one allergy.

Of the 2,211 study subjects, 1,016 had an environmental allergy (ragweed, pet dander) and 411 had food sensitivities. While most subjects had DCP in their urine, those with the highest levels were nearly twice as likely as those with the lowest levels to test positive for a food sensitivity, usually to peanuts, milk, or eggs. (Wheat, corn, and chocolate are other common food triggers.)

What’s the difference between allergies and sensitivities? They’re distinguished mainly by the allergy pathway involved. The immunoglobulin E (IgE) allergic reaction carries no mystery. IgE antibodies are released instantly and produce unambiguous symptoms like sneezing, watery eyes, and, most seriously, anaphylaxis.

An immunoglobin G (IgG) reaction is slower and doesn’t have the same unmistakable antigen-antibody response. Its symptoms are subtler — headaches, fatigue, or constipation. One can have an IgG response to a particular food for years without ever knowing it, while an IgE response can’t be ignored. (For more details on the differences, see below.)

Gut Instinct

Finally, exposure to excess antibiotics, common for people with frequent infections, kills the good bacteria in the gut along with the bad microbes they target.

Before the advent of antibiotic-resistant bacteria and our present understanding of the “good bacteria” in the microbiome (something that would have once sounded like a contradiction), many doctors didn’t give antibiotics much thought; they were seen as wonder drugs. “When I trained as a pediatrician, we didn’t think twice about giving people antibiotics,” says Plotnikoff. Now most practitioners know better.

In addition, it’s common to see antibacterial hand-sanitizer pumps in the hallways of schools and the aisles of grocery stories. Plotnikoff is concerned that their overuse is harming our immunity and allergy resilience. “We’ve been raised in a culture that fears bacteria, so we get rid of all of them — even the good ones.”

The idea that our obsession with destroying germs is related to the rise of allergies is called the hygiene hypothesis. (For more on this, see “Dirt, Germs, and Other Friendly Filth“.) Galland emphasizes this cannot be the endpoint of any discussion about the rise in allergies (because it “lets polluters off the hook,” he says), but it does appear to be one aspect of the complicated matrix.

For example, some research suggests that total avoidance of certain foods might actually increase the risk of allergies to them. Take peanuts. The dramatic rise in peanut allergies that began in 1997 prompted health professionals to recommend that pregnant and nursing mothers avoid peanuts and not feed them to children until age 3. These guidelines were rescinded in 2008, since little research supported them, and a study published in JAMA Pediatrics in 2014 found children whose mothers consumed higher quantities of nuts during their pregnancies had lower rates of nut allergies.

Earlier this year, the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases recommended feeding babies as young as 4 to 6 months old peanuts to give them a better chance of staving off potential allergies. This suggests early exposure may help build an immunity that tolerates the food.

The Great Shape-Shifter

Allergies, intolerances, and sensitivities don’t always turn up as a runny nose and itchy eyes. According to Leo Galland, MD, coauthor of The Allergy Solution, allergies are “great mimics” because they can manifest in unexpected ways. Many people may be suffering an allergy or sensitivity-related symptom and have no idea that an underlying immune reaction is the root cause.

These are some of the common symptoms of a sensitivity-related reaction or allergy that, on the surface, appear to be something else.

• Weight gain: Allergies can lead to unexplained weight gain, or an inability to lose weight despite changes in diet and lifestyle. Studies have also linked antihistamine use with increased body weight.

• Muscle aches: Sore muscles have been associated with some of the classic allergy manifestations, like asthma and eczema, and have been linked to certain food intolerances and reactions to specific metals, like nickel. Galland says many of his patients with a sensitivity to mold report muscle pain.

• Joint pain: Allergy-fueled arthritis, often triggered by problem foods, is one of the most common, well-established “hidden” allergies.

• Fatigue: Feeling tired as a result of a sensitivity has been dubbed allergic tension-fatigue syndrome, and a food intolerance — often to wheat, corn, milk, or chocolate — is likely the cause.

• Brain fog: Galland says trouble with concentration and memory is often linked to food intolerances and mold sensitivity.

• Bloating or stomachache: Food intolerances inflame the lining of the intestines, leading to cramping, bloating, and pain. A trigger food can also cause heartburn. An elimination diet may help root out the troublemakers.

• Headaches: Decades of research have linked headaches — both migraines and nonmigraines — to allergies. Among the most common triggers are toxic fumes and foods like chocolate, nuts, soy, citrus, coffee, and alcohol.

• Insomnia: A dairy intolerance may be the reason you’re having trouble falling asleep and staying asleep.

• Hair loss: Alopecia areata is an autoimmune condition in which hair loss on the scalp goes beyond normal pattern baldness. It is more common among those who have been diagnosed with allergies, such as to gluten. Avoiding exposure may help stop — and even reverse — the hair loss.

• Depression, mood disorders, or psychiatric symptoms: A German study recently found that people with doctor-diagnosed allergies had higher rates of psychiatric symptoms. Galland notes that teenagers with asthma are about three times more likely than those without an allergy to be diagnosed with depression or a bipolar disorder later in life.

Defend Yourself

Addressing allergenic forces — pollution, chemical exposure, a low-nutrient diet, and a -weakened microbiome — may seem daunting. These straightforward, lifestyle-based strategies can help reduce your allergy susceptibility.

• Eat plants. Because some 70 percent of your immune system is located in your gut, increasing your consumption of whole foods, especially plant-based foods, is one of the most direct ways to support immune defenses.

Make whole foods the mainstay of your meals, preferably ones that “look as close to the way they looked when they came out of the ground,” says Galland. This will ensure your consumption of processed foods is minimal. Opt for organic to protect yourself from pesticides and herbicides. Support your T-cells with foods high in folates, vitamin A, and plant compounds called flavonoids.

Galland suggests you emphasize these potent allergy-defense foods:

Strawberries are high in the flavonoid fisetin, which helps protect T-regs from damage.

Sweet potatoes contain high amounts of vitamin A.

Lentils are chock-full of folates. (For more on folate, see “Follow the Folate“.)

Parsley is rich in the flavonoid apigenin, which has anti-allergic and anti-inflammatory effects.

Green and oolong teas are both bursting with protective flavonoids.

• Favor cooked over raw. Many raw foods are high in allergens, but cooking can help: Heat renders some allergenic proteins inert, says Plotnikoff. Someone who reacts to fresh apples may do just fine with sautéed apples, for example. (Anyone with an anaphylactic allergy should try this only with the support of his or her doctor, for obvious reasons.)

• Keep it fresh. Leftovers can cause problems for allergy sufferers. Histamines, an immune chemical released during allergic reactions, grow on foods the longer they sit. So while a meal straight off the stove might not cause a reaction, eating that same food two days later for lunch could trigger one.

• Support your digestive enzymes. “A lot of allergens are fragile, and the digestive enzymes in the stomach or pancreas will render them inert,” says Plotnikoff. But if you aren’t producing enough digestive enzymes, you won’t break down those allergens. Signs of weak digestion include burping, belching, gas, feeling full quickly, and acid reflux or gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD). “Supplementation with digestive enzymes can make up for what isn’t there,” he adds. (For more on this, go to “Digestive Enzymes“.)

• Skip the antacids. Regularly taking antacids may suppress stomach acid, which is required for activating enzymes that help break down potential allergens.

“Antacids increase the development and triggering of food allergies by blocking the normal digestion of proteins to their smallest molecules,” explains Stone. “The longer someone is on acid blockers, such as proton pump inhibitors (PPIs), the greater the incidence of them developing food allergies and hypersensitivity.”

People on acid blockers also have trouble with complete digestion, he says, and aren’t able to absorb as many of the healing nutrients in the food they eat. While we often assume digestive problems are due to excess stomach acid, the problem more often is that we don’t have enough. (For more on dealing with acid reflux, go to “Natural Ways to Fight Heartburn“.)

• Heal your gut. “Gut health is the foundation for all health,” says Plotnikoff. “And proper digestion, absorption, and elimination are the signs of a healthy gut.”

Up your fiber intake by eating whole, green leafy vegetables and other plants; promote good gut bacteria by incorporating fermented foods, like sauerkraut, kvass, and kimchi; take a high-quality probiotic; and consider drinking bone broth or eating grassfed gelatin to help seal up a leaky gut lining — a common condition in allergy sufferers. (For more on this, see “How to Heal a Leaky Gut“.)

• Reduce plastic in your life. Plastic is everywhere, from computer keyboards to steering wheels. Finding ways to reduce exposure to it where you can — especially in contact with food — can make a big difference.

Most plastics contain the potentially hormone-disrupting chemical -bisphenol A, or BPA. Trade plastic food containers for glass or stainless steel. Never heat food in plastic, since heat leaches chemicals directly into the food. And if you do use plastic water bottles or food-storage containers on occasion, make sure they’re BPA-free, which some experts believe is less dangerous.

• Improve indoor air quality. Research suggests that 86 percent of air fresheners contain hazardous phthalates — even ones that are marked “all natural.” Dryer sheets are equally dangerous because the chemicals in them are heated and vented into the air.

New furniture (especially particleboard) and carpet can both release chemicals that end up in household dust. Opt for vintage or secondhand items when you can. You can also let new furniture breathe in an outdoor area for as long as weather permits.

• Clean up body-care and household-cleaning products. Steer clear of any products with synthetic fragrances, which often contain endocrine disrupters. Propylene glycol is a common additive in body-care products and an increasingly common allergic trigger for many people. Consult the Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep database for a comprehensive guide to safe personal-care products. (For more on fragrances, go to “The Problem With Perfume“.)

• Embrace a few germs. A little exposure to dirt and germs helps keep the immune system in good working order, so stick to soap and water and stay away from the big guns, such as antibacterials and antimicrobials, as much as possible, says Galland. Be aware that antibacterial and antimicrobial chemicals can turn up in places beyond hand soap and household cleaners — like toothpaste and mattresses. Read labels.

• Get your vitamin D. “Ensuring a good vitamin D level year round supports balance and immune function,” says Plotnikoff. The Endocrine Society, which is considered by many to be the top authority on optimal vitamin D levels, recommends a blood serum level greater than 30 ng/ml, but Plotnikoff believes optimal levels are slightly higher, between 40 and 60 ng/ml.

To achieve a good baseline, he recommends getting your vitamin D levels tested and then adjusting your supplement accordingly. Just about everyone needs to supplement, he says, especially those who live north of the Mason-Dixon line or work long hours indoors and get less sunlight.

• Opt for natural antihistamines. When allergies do strike, Plotnikoff suggests, reach for a natural antihistamine combination like quercetin, stinging nettle, and vitamin C.

Reactions that affect the lungs, including asthma, might also be helped by increasing your body’s glutathione production. Glutathione is a powerful antioxidant produced by the body — and it plays a key role in tissue repair.

“For those with rhinitis manifestations, glutathione production is super important,” he adds. Sulphur-rich foods like garlic, onion, and broccoli boost glutathione in the body, or you can take a glutathione-supporting supplement, such as N-acetyl cysteine. (For more on glutathione, go to “Glutathione: The Great Protector“.)

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