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smokeybrandreviews · 4 months

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Culture Vulture

I had no intention of weighing in on this Travis Kelce/Taylor Swift sh*t because it’s outside my wheelhouse. I don’t care all that much about NFL football anymore and I wouldn’t call myself a Taylor Swift fan. Plus, the zealotry on both sides is kind of a turn-off. I’m old enough to remember the crowds Michael Jackson brought in during his Eighties/Nineties prime. Swift, as large and dedicated as her fan base is, could never. I wouldn’t consider myself a fan of her music, I find it kind of juvenile and mostly harmless, but witnessing so many MAGA Cultists lose their sh*t over it is uncomfortably hilarious. Like, bro, really? Taylor Swift is a psy-op? Because she’s a massive celebrity who uses her voice in ways that she’s passionate about? Word? Sure, whatever. It’s all just white noise to me, which is why I was giving it no attention. That is until I hear someone in my real, actual, life, refer to a fade as the “Travis Kelce.” Excuse me? I had to double check what this dude looked like. Did he have some crazy, Dennis Rodman, type sh*t on his head? Was he going full country with a mullet-hawk? Nope. Mans still just had a high-and-tight. That’s basically just the white people version of a hi-top fade. I literally turned to this man who said that ridiculous sh*t, looked him in the eye, and asked, point blank, “The f*ck is you saying to me right now?”

For those of you who are new around here, I am Black as f*ck. Specially, the giant, scary, black man type of Black as f*ck. In my lifetime, I have had three main hairstyles; Buzzcut, Afro, and Fade. These three cuts are integral to my culture, specifically the fade. Now, I take mine a little lower than most. I prefer to start the fade just above my ears, with a low two or three up top. That allows my waves, when I have them, to pop. And that brings me to another point; The fade is basically the foundation for just SO many of our culture’s hairstyles, it’s absurd. Waves, the Caesar, making Twisties look respectable, and cleaning up Dreads. It even makes that weird, nappy headed trend I’ve seen, that thing kids do with the sponge or whatever, look professional. Hell, I occasionally use the Fade to clean up my Fro from time to time. Yes, there is a thing called an Afro Fade and it is glorious. It’s more a Taper, but even that is a type of Fade. Obviously, the fade isn’t an Black invention, the military has been using the High-and-Tight for decades, but we, as a culture, have adopted it as our own. That sh*t is as intrinsically Black as Hip Hop or Soul food. And like all things Black, it’s appropriated by the Whites and I hate it. The “Travis Kelce”? Really? Right in front of my Black History Month?

The most ridiculous thing about this whole scenario is the fact he adopted the fade while dating a Black woman. That’s right, Travis Kelce, started rocking the “Travis Kelce”, after his Black woman told him he’d look good in a fade. Kayla Nicole gave that man all of his swag and he took everything she offered until he didn’t anymore. She has come out recently to say some not-so-nice things about mans but the fact remains, this wave of popularity, everything that gave Kelce the aesthetic which captured Taylor’s attention (and the nation, apparently), was given to him by a Black woman. Story as old as time. Black women are commodities used to build your brand. White woman are the trophy you claim once you reach a level of success. “He gon leave your ass for a White girl.” Usually, that’s a Black man stereotype but I guess it’s any men at this point. I can get into that all day on its own, and I might (it is Black History Month), but this rant is more about how White culture steals so much from MY culture, and never gives anything back. I mentioned Hip Hop, but it’s everything. Our slang, our swag, our music, our whole vibe; Snatched, sanitized, and gentrified, for bland ass White tastes. A few years back, someone tried to claim Bo Derek rocking box braids was this fashion forward, shattering of industry norms, and that sh*t was, straight up, a way for slaves to smuggle food into the fields. Box raids are called corn rows because they look like rows of corn AND because they could hide crop seeds to later plant for their own purposes. That’s how sh*t like rice and certain grains made it to the Caribbean. Enslaved Black people did that, but let’s credit the White super model from Long Beach with making them popular. Even though Cornrows have been a staple of Black culture since actual slavery times and, arguably, before. That sh*t is gross and we’re seeing it again with this “Travis Kelce” bullsh*t.

Black women are built thick. They have curves. They have breasts. They are genetically voluptuous. I imagine that has something to do with our origins in Africa but I’m not trying to get into an anthropological thesis right now. I know lack girls who were teased for having a dump truck. They were ridiculed by cats for having a fat ass. Along comes Kim Kardashian. Who, admittedly, had a relatively shapely bottom being of Persian descent, got those ass implants. Now, all of a sudden, everyone wants ass implants. All the little middle class White girls want their Daddies (be them sugar or otherwise) to buy them a BBL. Something Black women were ridiculed for, has been snatched, sanitized, and gentrified so White women can basically just cosplay as us. More than one Kardashian has done this sh*t. Iggy Azalea exists. Black women can’t even have their god given physicality, without White people figuring out a way to take that sh*t! The problem isn’t just Travis Kelce and his absurd attribution of the Fade, it’s the entirety of how “American” culture is just Black culture and no one gives us credit for it. Every profitable aspect of American culture, is just Black culture. Literally, around the world, the only aspects celebrated by America, are the Blackest parts. Street fashion is wildly popular in Europe and Japan. Never mind that the bulk of KPop sounds like early Nineties, New Jack RnB, the fact that they fry chicken is a thing. That sh*t is a staple of their cultural identity, and it came over with Black GIs during the Korean war. You think Grime would exists in London without American Hip Hop? We made Jordans hot and now they are a worldwide, billion dollar, brand. We made Champion hot. That sh*t was budget rack, K-Mart, junk until we decided otherwise. Black people are the taste makers of this country. We are why American pop culture pops so hard, but I gotta hear about the f*cking “Travis Kelce” like I didn’t rock a fade with a lightning bolt part, back in the fifth grade. Use us until they use us up. In every sense of that statement.

The wildest thing about this whole situation? Yo, we share. We want people to enjoy US. The fact that Kelce got put on to the Fade in the first place, is proof of that. We love bringing people into our culture. We are crazy supportive. When you’re out doing your thing, and you see a gaggle of the Blacks doing theirs, we will encourage you to join us, to shake your tail feathers right along with us. Don’t matter if you’re good at it or not, it’s that energy we want you to have, that vibe we got. Even though this country hates us and is literally founded on the bodies of my ancestors, we still love. We still accept. We still support. And that’s the real tragedy ion all of this. You don’t need to steal or misappropriate or scavenge. We are very willing to accept you into the fold, as long as you are sincere. Eminem was fully embraced by Black people on the merit of his battle skills. White kids took to him because he looked like them but, when all of the backlash and controversy happened over his lyrical content, Black people supported the f*ck out of him Jim Carrey has gone on record to say that it took the Wayans taking a chance of him, in order for Hollywood at large, to deem him safe enough in which to invest. Ace Ventura happened as a direct result of In Living Color. The Black culture is one of Community. We raise out kids together. We accept strays who don’t have that stable family unit. I have, an Indian, White, and mixed little sister; None of whom are related to me by blood, all of whom I’d go to jail for. My best friend, rest in peace, called my momma, “Momma”, and he treated her as such. The White kid who lived behind my childhood home, had issues with bullies and we let him hang out in my home until late then hop the fence to avoid getting jumped. Hell, a former friend of mine’s ex-wife walked to my house, in the middle of the night, barefoot and in her pajamas, because she was too afraid to be at home with her then husband. She felt safe enough to come to me with that sh*t because of the love. To this day, I would do for Renay without hesitation. That’s just how we’re raised. That’s just who we mare as a people. I know, better than anyone, that this will fall on deaf ears. This is America. But it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to steal sh*t from us. We are more than willing to share. We are more than willing to put you on. We find joy in that. We find love in it. It’s just such a shame that sentiment isn’t shared. But, of course it isn’t. The next time I go to a barber shop, I gotta ask for a Travis Kelce now because he has been ordained the inventor of the f*cking Fade.

#The Travis Kelce #Fade #Some ol' bullsh*t

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smokeybrand · 4 months

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Culture Vulture

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thegraveyardjohnsongrey · 1 year

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June 2022

I feel so centered when i’ve had a good king shower after a workout. rip to all the ideas that never made it out of the shower

i want to age alongside my Legacy and my Impact with Grace. i mean i’m still that person- but i am allowed now in this pint of my life to live outside of thise things and identity

tha bar has always been so high for you. whether it’s people and impressions and posts. you’ve always been THAT btch. and so to now, not see that instantly anymore, i think you’ll always be disappointed if you keep the bat to where it used to be in an older context

the good thing is, though, that i can make room for me to be something new

as you get older, you realize that you can’t give everything into , and in turn, others can’t do those for you either.

It is honestly SO weird acknowledging you have limerence. LOL

but it’s also relieving…? considering we’ve climbed over the very high hill of acknowledging we have it.

suddenly it all makes sense. or at least- it gives us a road map of what we can do in the now in order to move away from it.

shit was a rough 3 years, but if it’s taught me anything it’s that i don’t want do that again. to give my all to this to build this world that i’ve created, and not even realized it- to indulge in a dream that only poisons me and my reality - fed by my alone time

6.25.22

+ Happy that i did all that i wanted today - which was workout, help with caden, and do some cleaning. Speaking of cleaning, i felt really nice helping clean downstairs a bit. It made me happy to hear how happy my parents were when they came down and realized they didn’t have to deal with.

lol @ cadens “thank you tito”

i’m finding confidence in being older and being a larger contributor to the house - whether that be in going out and getting errands last minute with little to no warning ( LOL) and to just also helping out with caden for the night portion

+ didnt get to go to calvin’s , but i got over it real quickly. (shoutout to josh for being with me as i center in the car about how life is royally screwing me over these days LOL) - but ALSO LOLLLL at mine and joshs Sex And the City jokes . also?m, i have a feeling he got me a Scarlet Wimple for my bday

tbh the dilemma this morning was more about me having to report my and being reminded that boat day is not going as i anticipated.

it was a lot, and i’m still thankful to have friends like denni and josh as safe spaces to vent and confide in.

it’s like —— really humbling admitting your insecurities and pains aloud, and honestly. it does wonders on your outlook on life. like - even IF you can still recognize that certain problems are still there after your venting session, it is so freeing to have expressed your pains and frustrations aloud. like i think THAT in itself frees you from that event caused you.

anyway, still bummed that my boat day isn’t going to plan anymore - BUT! i’m still

and #PrivelegedPerspecrive taking-wise, i am happy to be healthy and supported at a time like this. like . what a first world problem it is to whine about a Boat Day and missing days at work. like

A) i’ll be returning to work

B) I have my whole family to support me in this

like i’m blessed FR FR man. and i am so happy to be able to sit on that.

you know me/us. i just needed to feel it out and have my moment

my favorite is spending time with caden whenever i can, not only is it helpful to us - but it just gives me a moment to slow down and appreciate the little 2 year old in front of me

2019: I guess just want prepared for that season to be over. and so quickly, without closure. I had really thought that when lock down was over, I would return to every space I had left off. I thought i would pick things up back with S, with Team Nana, with Paralegalhood/law school, goijg back to raving, and just return to being that Graddie Baddie (LOLL).

but things changed. for everyone - and i think that was the hardest pill to swill post-lockdown. was that — life and my social circles and everything - would cease to exist as i knew it. and while that change has brought about the best kinds of changes (I’m a Certified Paralegal & an UNCLE now!!!!) —it’s also brought me some sadness and bittersweet feelings. that life really does not stay the same. as short as it was, i’ll always look back on that era with fondness and happiness that i got to have it. even just for a moment 🤍

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teeth-and-tea · 3 years

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Anime I've Binged: August 2021

I've been crafting a lot recently because I wanna get my yarn work done before it gets cold so LOTS OF ANIME lmao let's gooooo

The Case Study of Vanitas: On god, this anime is gorgeous. Still being upload as it's a new seasonal, but it's a Yen Press distributed work by the same mangaka of Pandora Hearts and Crimson Shell so it's STYLISTICALLY GORGEOUS. The story is interesting and feels new but familiar enough to have guess, people who like men AND women will have something for them, and Noè is my baby boy, my heart, my lovely little lamb, the sweetest green bean on the planet <3. Can't wait for the (eventual, as told on the first episode) death of Vanitas by Noè's hands that will crush me <3. 9/10.

Oddtaxi: I was NOT EXPECTING this anime to be THAT GOOD. Oddakawa is the MVP. You think you're getting a slice of life anime with some furry elements and instead you get Paranoia Agent meets Yakuza and went to school with Beastars. Genuinely one of the best anime of the coming decade. The last 30 seconds of the last episode legitimately left me screaming and my brother had to ask me what was wrong. 11/10.

The Slime Diaries: The offshoot for That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime full of shorts while the second half of the second season was put on hiatus due to covid. Cute, bubbly, but the drawing styles for everyone was a little too off for me to entirely enjoy. However, the extra background and time they gave to all the characters really fleshed them out and gave them more depth so you have more to care about when you're watching the main series again. Not bad, pretty cute, but you won't understand unless you've watched all the way up to the middle of the Second Season. 8.5/10.

The Slow Life of a Cheat Pharmacist: Another Light Novel Slice of Life Isekai given life, I've seen better but this one isn't bad by any means. It gives you exactly what it says on the tin, with NO annoying fan service or gross (bad) harem dynamics. Pretty cute tbh. 8/10.

Mob Psycho 100 S1: The animation is INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD. Story was solid, depictions of original characters was GREAT and Mob is my beautiful little boy I want to wrap up in a blanket and put to sleep <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Reigen is a sweaty, sweaty gross goblin I found outside the Denny's dumpster at midnight and decided "ahh, yes, a man who is perfect to destroy and objectify all at once." 11/10.

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid S1, S2, and Shorts: I'm gonna be real, I'm a mad lesbian who knew I was gonna be disappointed by what I wanted but knew I wasn't gonna get it. STILL super cute tho. Lucoa and Shota gave me HARD SIDE EYE VIBES THO. Tits. Tits for days. Not my favorite but I've seen worse. 7.5/10.

How to Keep a Mummy: SO CUTE genuinely went online to see if I could buy a plushie before remembering I have crafting power and twelve dollars. Slice of Life featuring an adorable cast of high schoolers and their supernatural pets. 8.5/10. I couldn't stop being delighted by how CUTE everything was <3

Elegant Yokai Apartment Life: A Slice of Life Turned Plot-ish about if Tohru from Fruits Basket was a guy and shoved in an entire apartment complex full of supernatural beings, with less explicit romantic plotlines. It's not bad but the plot is all over the place and nonsensical in the the "why did the writer think this was a good idea" way and not the "lol" way. It was a Light Novel turned published piece tho so that clears up a lot of things. Incredibly small internet presence so if you want the world's tiniest fandom, try here. 8/10.

Didn't I Say to Make My Abilities Average In the Next Life?!: Another in the long line up of isekais and light novels that have gained an audience, this is honestly one of my favorite of the Isekais I've watched so far. It's fun, humorous, and it's got the decent premise of "oh yeah, I'm average in all my abilities! ... If you compare them from the tiniest bug to the strongest dragon alive." It's busty jokes and certain dried up cliches are abound tho, so some of the humor falls flat. That being said: the magic is run on nanomachines. That alone gives it enough premise for me to watch it. I watched the dub which I'll admit isn't amazing, but worked for me. 8.5/10

Restaurant to Another World: Another Light Novel adaptation but this one was a much earlier one that was published a few years ago, it's so calm that I like watching it to fall asleep to. That being said, don't watch this while hungry! Or watch it while eating leftovers! Because THE FOOD LOOKS SO GOOD I WANT IT D: Lol but serious it's pretty cute, really normal, there's no plot, I almost hesitate to call this anything other than a fantasy slice of life show instead of just a series of shorts strung together to make a show. I want to eat at Restaurant Nekoya TTuTT 8/10

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS:

How NOT To Summon a Demon Lord: I got 6 episodes in before I straight up could NOT take the fan service anymore. Literally, I watched 5 1/2 episodes, paused about 4 months, gave it one last shot and watched the 6th episode, and then called it quits. It's SO GROSS IT MAKES ME NAUSEOUS. Not in a gorey way (which is preferable tbh) but in "all these hyper-sexualized, assaulted, groomed, fan serviced girls are underage or are lolis" way. Ew. Gross. I refuse. I made myself watch PRISON SCHOOL but smth about this show just... made itself unwatchable. Maybe how it's still trying to make the MC seem like a normal dude and in Prison School they were literally all written to be unlikable and everyone knew it was fucked up. Here, it's like... portrayed as normal and positive? I just can't do it fam, I hate this show so goddamn much. I'm going to bed.

#the case study of vanitas #oddtaxi #the slime diaries #the slow life of a cheat pharmacist #mob psycho #miss kobayashi's dragon maid #how to keep a mummy #elegant yokai apartment life #didn't i say to make my abilities average in the next life #restaurant to another world

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sweet-sammy-kisses · 3 years

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Finally Seeing

Written for @tropetember #12: getting together (I had this one ready figured I would post it while working on the other ones) Fandom: 911 Pairing: Buck x Eddie, minor Eddie/Ana Word Count: 1,435 Rating: T Summary: Ana turned out to Eddie’s Ali something Buck never wanted for his secret crush. You can also read it here AO3

"I can't do this Eddie. I can't do this anymore."

Eddie knew that this was coming Ana had tried but his PSTD was too much for her, the nightmares that had him waking up screaming for Buck in the middle of the night. Needing Buck to comfort him and not her.

It just hurt that she was walking away from him when he could use her support. 'Is this how Buck felt when Ali broke up with him when he needed her the most? That she walked away when it got too much.'

"I understand Ana. I'm glad that Christopher didn't get too attached to you because it would surely break his heart to know that you run at the first sign of things getting too rough." Eddie couldn't help but snap at Ana. He had been so sure that Ana would be different but once against he found himself comparing Ana to Shannon and found her lacking in comparison. Shannon had tried, she had cared for their son all by herself when she had no one to help him and his parents looking down on her and tearing her apart with their words.

Ana stepped back like he had been slapped, she knew that this wasn't going to be an easy breakup. "Edmundo," she began.

"My name is Eddie." Eddie snapped back, he was so tired and Ana unable to call him by his actual name was a sore spot to him. "I am so tired of being Edmundo for you. You created this perfect version of me, of Edmundo and I tried so hard to hit into the man you wanted me to be. I changed who I was, I allowed you to call me by a name I don't want to be called. Tell me Ana did you ever see Eddie or just Edmundo?"

Tears began to fill up in Ana's eyes, she could lie but there was no point. "I see you as Edmundo. We could be so happy together, we could have a lovely family if only you would leave your job. It is dangerous, every day you put your life on the line and I thought I could deal with it but I can't! I can't deal with you being hurt! Watching you thrash and scream only for you to call out Buck's name and not mine! This isn't what I wanted. What would have happened to Christopher if one day you don't come home to us? I'm not ready to be a mother."

"You wouldn't have to worry about my son, if something happens to me full custody goes to Buck," Eddie growled out.

Ana's mouth dropped open in shock. "Buck? Are you telling me that you gave Buck custody of Christopher? He is not suitable for being given care of a child, let alone one as special as Christopher."

Red hot rage filled Eddie at the way Ana talked about his son and his best friend. "There is no one I trust more in this world with Christopher than Buck. I have seen how far he would go to keep him safe. I have seen how much he loves Christopher and how much Christopher loves Buck."

Ana couldn't believe what she is hearing, "You really care about Buck more than me, don't you?"

Unflinching Eddie met Ana's eyes, "Buck sees me as Eddie, not Edmundo like you do. He likes me for who I am not who he wants me to be, like you do."

"Then I guess we have nothing left to say to one another." Turning on her heel Ana exited Eddie's house and somehow Eddie felt free now that she is gone.

+*****+

It wasn't a surprise that Eddie ended up at Buck's place with Christopher having a sleepover at the Wilson's house Eddie knew that he needed Buck, he needs his comfort and presence, he didn't keep the nightmares from coming but he could chase away the fear when he wrapped his arms around him and held him close.

"Are you okay?" Buck asked as he opened the door and took in Eddie's drawn face, "Did something happen to Chris'?"

Eddie's heart warmed at the fact that Buck's first thoughts were to make sure his son was okay. "Chris is fine, he is having a blast at his sleepover with Henry and Denny. Oh, I did promise Hen that we would stop by in the morning and you would make pancakes for the boys."

"Sounds like fun." Buck's eyes sparkled at the idea of spending time with three of the members of the junior 118th members, he loves all the children of their found family, none as much as Christopher and Jee-Yun but he does love them.

"Just remember to hold back on the chocolate chips I don't think Hen will thank you for her having to deal with three sugar-high children." Eddie teased back.

"I make no promises, that is why I will need you along to watch my back, Diaz." Buck teased back as he let Eddie enter.

A chuckle escaped Eddie he knew that Buck wanted to ask how he was but wouldn't say anything until he was ready to talk, where Ana would push him for answers. "Ana and I broke up today."

Buck's eyes widen and worry appeared on his face, "Are you alright?"

"I think I am. She couldn't handle my PSTD or my job and she didn't like the fact that I gave custody of Christopher to you."

Buck hadn't been wanting to be right about his feelings and thoughts about Ana. She reminded him of Ali in a way, she cared about him, maybe even loved him, but she loved the idea of having a hot firefighter boyfriend, someone she could brag about but when the dangerous side of his job came into play it became too much for her and she had to leave. Buck didn't blame Ali, not really, it had just hurt that she left him when he needed someone the most.

It broke his heart to see Eddie going through the same thing that he had once gone through. "I'm sorry Eddie, I know that you cared about Ana a great deal."

"But you didn't like the man I was with her." Eddie raised an eyebrow and dared Buck to try and lie to him.

Flushing Buck rubbed the back of his neck, "Not really. I guess I like Eddie more than Edmundo."

Closing the distance between them Eddie looked into Buck's blue eyes that he loves so much. "I like Eddie more as well. I especially like Eddie when he is with you."

Suddenly feeling very warm and having a dry mouth Buck licked lips, "I like who I am with you and Christopher as well."

Eddie's brown eyes were warm and full of love. "It took me some time but I have finally opened my eyes to what has been right in front of me this whole time."

"Oh thank god." Buck breathed out, "It was breaking my heart watching you with her and seeing you lose yourself trying to please her. That isn't what love is. You love a person for who they are not who you can make them into."

Stroking Buck's cheek Eddie's smile lit up his whole face, "Just so we are on the same page, I love you, Buck, so much and so deeply. You and Christopher are my world."

The sun had nothing on the smile that appeared on Buck's face. "I love you too Eddie. You and Christopher are what I have been looking for so long, people who love me for who I am."

"Can I kiss you now?" Eddie asked.

"Of course."

Kissing Buck was everything Eddie had dreamed it would be and more, Buck tasted like what Eddie thinks sunlight would taste like. Kissing Buck was like coming home, Eddie only felt this kind of peace and belonging with Christopher.

+*****+

The Next Morning

"Finally, it took the two of you long enough." Hen greeted them after she took in their joint hands. She was truly happy for her friends.

But no one was happier than Christopher, "Finally! Dad, I love you but you were taking forever in making Buck ours."

As a celebration Buck made his famous pancakes with far too much sugar and happily played with the boys until the sugar wore off where he happily collapsed into Eddie's arms.

"I love you, Eddie." Buck was thrilled that he could finally say those words out loud.

Smiling Eddie pressed a kiss on Buck's temple, "I love you too Buck."

#buddie #buck x eddie #otp: you can have my back anytime #tropetember #sherri writes #my fics

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eddiediaz-buckley · 3 years

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Post-Ep Thoughts: Ghost Stories

Honestly I do not even know where to start.

I am very confused and have many thoughts that I’m gonna try and piece together in a coherent manner under the cut.

EDIT: How I feel about an ep often changes as time passes, so do not be surprised if some of these views change in the coming weeks heh.

Addressing Inconsistencies

I guess I’ll start here?? Idk if this is even a proper heading, but I’m not sure what else to call it. After seeing a post from 911bts (not gonna tag them so they aren’t bothered lmao) I realized that yes, while some eps this season were absolutely produced in a different order than they would be aired purposely, the switch of Ghost Stories and Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1 was definitely last minute due to unknown reasons. I’m not sure what they were trying to achieve, but whatever it was I’m not sure they achieved it.

I know that sometimes scenes that are in promos get cut for time. It happens. But in this case like half the promo scenes were not in the episode? The woman with the ghost roommate was mentioned in both the promo and the log lines and made absolutely no appearance, and Ravi was shown in the promo but did not appear at all in this ep. The beginning news scene with TK and the end part with Harry did appear, so that’s good at least?

Also

WHERE WAS EDDIE?

I know actors sometimes have to miss episodes. But Maddie is already not here, and there was BTS stuff dropped earlier today from this ep and Ryan was in some of the pics. Unless I’m crazy and those were from a different ep? But Eddie’s absence wasn’t explained at all, which sometimes can be realistic (like Hen and Eddie’s absence in The Taking of Dispatch 9-1-1 for example) but when Chim is already gone from the firehouse, his absence on shift not being explained is...weird.

Chimney is Unexpectedly Back!?

Okay before I go any further, I will start with the stuff I did enjoy. I, of course, LOVE seeing Chimney. Crazy to see how far he’s gotten across the country, but that’s def a trip he could’ve made in a week, making the scenes seem out of place since they should have happened, ya know, last week aka approximately a week after the events of 5x05.

It was an extremely pleasant surprise to see Eli. He is lovely and I’m sure it was really nice for Chimney to see a friendly face since it’s been just him and Jee-Yun for a while.

In the end, I cannot decide whether I like the placement of these scenes or not. On the one hand, they seem out of place because like I just mentioned, they were supposed to air last week. But at the same time it’s nice?? Because now we didn’t have to go quite as long without seeing Chimney (This is just an assumption that we aren’t going to see him in the next ep or two but honestly who knows, Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1 airing first really threw me off).

Henren + Eva

Absolutely LOVED seeing Karen back on my screen, I missed her! I think all of Henren’s content this ep was extremely important and it was definitely my favorite aspect of the episode. While I don’t like Eva and probably never will, I am genuinely glad to see that she is clean and sober, and she definitely looks healthy and mostly content! I saw my sister go through drug addiction, so I completely understand that speaking to Hen was something she needed to do to forgive herself and continue healing, even if Hen didn’t forgive her yet.

While Karen’s initial distrust of Hen broke my heart, I also understand that too. Honestly, if it were me, I don’t think I would have gone back to my spouse after they cheated on me. So of course she’s going to have hesitancy and mistrust regarding Eva. But I’m so so glad she went to talk to Eva herself and realized that Eva wasn’t an obstacle in her and Hen’s relationship anymore, and that Hen has proven over the last few years that her life and love is with Karen and Denny, and that she isn’t going anywhere. I am so glad that Hen not only got some sort of closure with Eva, but so did Karen, and Henren will be stronger now because of it <3.

Thank God Harry is in Therapy

This part of the ep was another that seemed very out of place to me. The content itself I enjoyed, but I couldn’t get past the feeling that this was supposed to all happen last week.

I am glad that Harry is in therapy, and I hope that now that he’s basically confronted what happened to him head on, he can appreciate it’s value more. The therapist made an excellent point - he should not just pretend it never happened. Of course he just wants to stop thinking about it and move on but I think many of us know from experience that until you actually confront what happened to you, it’s hard to move past it. It’s so important to acknowledge your feelings and to talk about it with a trained professional so they can give you the tools to handle the feelings and work through them.

I was so happy to see that this experience (although slightly traumatic in and of itself and resulted in a minor injury) allowed Harry to process what had happened to him, and that he was finally ready to go home! Obviously Michael loves his son and will probably miss having him around, but I know he’s proud that Harry is finally dealing with his trauma and is starting to move forward.

One last note on this: I LOVE that Lou and Harry were able to talk about their shared trauma with their captor and kind of bond over that. I think it probably benefited both of them to be reminded that they’re not alone in this!

Taylor Kelly was Oddly Present?

I think most of you that follow me know by now that I am not a fan of TK. And even if I was, I still think her large presence in this episode was weirdly out of place based on her overall screentime in season 5 so far. She’s barely been in 5 whole minutes (sorry B I cannot remember the exact time right now but this is close right??) this whole season and now she gets maybe that amount of time in one ep? Huh??

I thought it was a little strange that her and Lou got a whole scene to themselves. They’re both recurring characters, and while scenes between just recurring characters has happened before, (I mean, we literally had one with Eva and Karen this ep) it was still just...weird. Honestly I do not know how to explain it past that. I do enjoy that Lou was being sassy towards her tho, like her being there is sus and definitely an ethical conflict, even if it wasn’t the one we wanted lmao.

And the ending we need to talk about obviously. She is absolutely hiding something (whatever the hell that article was about??) and with her being all “the truth is everything” and then making that weird face?? That’s gotta be what causes Buck to fear the relationship trouble in what will now be 5x09.

I hope we do not get super deep into a backstory with her or what not because honestly I don’t care. Just end the relationship and be done with it lol.

Conclusions

I didn’t hate the content of this episode but overall it did not seem cohesive and was just weird. Tim needs to stop trying to run two shows at once and just pick one. Sir, that’s too much work for one person, and we’ve already seen from the Law and Order universe that you can have two interconnected shows that are run by different people successfully (at least one of them is lmao).

Anyway, I’m clearly not getting any more school work done tonight, so come talk to me if you want!

Tagging @evaneddie as requested <3

#9-1-1 #911 fox #911 spoilers #sav speaks #sav's 911 post-ep thoughts #idk this was wild y'all #hope next week is mostly normal!!

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adultswim2021 · 3 years

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The Venture Bros. #14: “Return to Spider-Skull Island” | October 30, 2004 - 11:30 PM | S01E13

In the season finale: The Monarch is in prison after the events of last week’s episode! Dr. Venture has a “tumor” removed that turns out to be a brother, and (Penn Jillette voice) Kenny DIES.

This one was almost a series finale, and I remember some fans of the show actually thought it was the end. The titular characters were slaughtered like dogs in front of our very eyes, and a sad song played meaning it was surely permanent. This would’ve been an okay ending. I am a little bit of an “Operation P.R.O.M. should’ve been the series finale” truther, but if this were a one-season wonder then it would rival it’s peers Freaks and Geeks or Austin Stories (PS: Austin Stories is GREAT).

This one has not only one but TWO heavy-duty slurs that you simply CAN’T FREAKING SAY ANYMORE. There’s also some quality Hank and Dean stuff. I will say this about the series; a lot of time the actual Venture Brothers (Hank and Dean, that is) are sorta after-thoughts, and their involvement is less essential to the story than anything else. Their role is often as protagonists in the C-Story of any given episode. The writing is strong all around, and it’s a minor quibble that the namesake of the show isn’t front and center, but “The Venture Bros.” is such a good name for a TV show, so why, oh why, would I complain?

Notable stuff about this episode:

Lotta references to various pop culture things. The opening has a sequence where the family is coming back from a Rocky Horror Picture Show screening where they went on some ghost busting adventure and Brock went on some kind of rampage that put everyone there in the hospital. They actually had to add a weird bit of audio at the beginning of a random 911 call explaining this, because I guess they accidentally cut a scene that makes it more clear. I’m of the opinion that it needn’t have been explained.

There’s a reference to Captain Sunshine and Wonder Boy; namely The Monarch had Wonder Boy slain. The Captain Sunshine/Wonderboy dynamic would be explored in a season 4 episode.

There whole thing about Monarch wanting the Venture Bros. killed is kinda watered down in this, which is strange because it seems like they really served it up in the previous episode with that one line. They do nothing to reiterate this turn of events in the body of this episode, and in fact there’s a scene where Hank and Dean wind up in prison as part of a Scared Straight style program and they confront the Monarch who kinda hems and haws when asked directly “why are you trying to kill us?”. When Hank and Dean actually do buy it at the end of the episode (spoilers!) it winds up being an accident. “Trial of the Monarch” actually was written after this episode, so maybe that’s why? I don’t know, man, I just think the writing could’ve made it all much more clearer.

There is also a hilarious reference to the Spin Doctors when Hank calls Dean “little miss little miss can’t be wrong”, a line I somehow never caught before. And then there’s the whole end scene which is a shot-by-shot recreation of the ending of Easy Rider, a movie that I saw once and think is “just okay”. Look, Dennis Hopper’s true masterpiece is Out of the Blue, even though it too has a tacked-on bleak ending that it doesn’t really need. It’s a real thing with him. Anyway, OUT OF THE BLUE! COMING TO BLU-RAY FROM SEVERIN! if you pre-order it from them, please tell them this bad blog sent you.

Goddamn, I’ve barely touched on a big part of this episode: Throughout the series Dr. Venture has nightmares where he is a fetus in the womb fighting with another fetus. It turns out he absorbed (or literally just chomped and gulps down whole) his twin brother, who was somehow alive inside of him this whole time. Finally free after being surgically removed, he makes himself a robot body with stuff lying around the Venture compound to get brutal revenge on his brother for vanishing him in the womb 46 years ago. They both survive the events of the episode. What will become of these big fat brothers? Will they ever put on matching outfits and ride motorcycles side-by-side? You will have to wait over a fucking year to find out. This is the Venture Bros. fan’s lot in life.

EPHEMERA CORNER

Venture Bros. Exclusive -- Monarch Behind Bars! (October 28, 2004)

A blanket apology for forgetting to include more Quickstop Entertainment/A Site Called Fred exclusives that will be popping up over the next several years, because I’m bound to forget at least one. But if you go over to this link you’ll be treated to two phone calls made by The Monarch. They are canon, so please include them in your Venture Bros. rewatch.

Oh, the MP3s there don’t work. And they aren’t on YouTube? I found them on dailiymotion, but that site gives me the creeps. Go find it yourself. You fucking pig!

MAIL BAG

Someone told me about your Early Conan comic and it's pretty funny. Have you thought about doing more or are you doing more but somewhere else?

You wanna know what man? I haven’t looked at Early Conan in a while and I just read through them and not to toot my own horn but yeah, I had something special going there and I shoulda focused on it. But I succumbed to the siren song of worrying about IRS debt so much that it made me mentally ill and feel guilty about drawing cartoons. Yeah, I should do more. I should do a lotta things!

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #the venture bros.

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finalgirlbuffysummers · 3 years

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okay here it is. The rest is below the cut.

You would think that living on a Hellmouth made the nightmares worse. That every night would be screaming torment, but really, the hollow earth below never really prowled the dreams of its lesser citizens. Sure, the vampires and their teeth made appearances, dead classmates, the prickling curent of the wind, but waking up and knowing your neighbor heard the same bump in the night, knowing you survived to see the sun: that’s your bitter reward. Your comfort. It’s normal here, perched on the lip above the sharpest tooth.

No, the nightmares get worse ten years down the line. You’re out of highschool. You wake up alone. You wake up in a city that doesn't understand you, strangers who want to prescribe you medicine or tell you to mediate. So you end up alone, and you know alone is how they like you. You’re not sure if demons lurk in your new city. You thought once that a man standing on the corner lit his cigarette with massive purple claws, and you ran, your feet echoing like gunshots through the streets.

You never did learn to shoot a gun. You keep it in your nightstand drawer, but you know it wouldn't stop anything that's followed you out of California, out of Sunnydale. Once, you had a girlfriend. Rummaging around for a hair tie she discovered your small handgun, your safety blanket. She picked it up with her forefinger and her thumb, like it was filthy, like she didn't understand. “Why do you keep one of these awful things?” You couldn't answer her.

There's no girlfriend now. No one to make you coffee in the morning, no one to rub your back when you wake up with the feeling of teeth in your throat, tight grips on your ankles. She got tired of you, you poor, novel thing from the west.

So it's been weeks. So it's been grocery shopping at 3am, staring at the wilting vegetables, trying to stay out of your apartment. It's been staying longer at the museum you work at. No, you don’t work there just to read the old books for some kind of answer, you lie. At your highschool, there was a librarian who kept swords. You think about sending him an email: Hey, Mr. Giles, do you sleep at night? Does it get easier? Where might I acquire a sword such as yours? You draft hundreds before you realize you have no idea where to send them.

Your classmates don't keep in touch. there is no Facebook group, there is no reunion. There can’t be: Sunnydale is no more. It collapsed in itself. This should be comforting: but all you can think of is the beasts who crawled out of the pit, who remember the stink of your fear. Some folks stayed local, moving just a town over, the low thrum from the throat of hell enough the lull them into a stupid haze of breakfast, lunch, and getting eaten for dinner. The rest left. There are two hundred, give or take, Sunnydale immigrants scattered around the country, waking up alone. Waking up with a gun in their hands. Waking up dead. Your school newspaper had an obituary page. The boy who ran it wrote well, you thought, if cynical. Who the hell can blame him? Mr. Giles, you write. How come it didn't get us? Why are we still left? Mr. Giles, can you tell me if it's following us?

Last week a friend of a friend called you to say Dennis had died. Dennis… you remember now. He was the lead singer in that band, what was it? Something about Dingoes. You ask how he died. Sunnydale habits: You keep an ear out for the signs. The friend says, puncture wounds, on the neck. Police suspect it was inflicted by a barbeque fork. You drop the phone. You sharpen stakes, get splinters in your palms. Buy crucifixes by the dozen. More than once, you’ve slept in a church pew, under the painted ceiling. At work, your boss asks with some concern about the dark circles under your eyes. Long night, you say. You are starting to hate this city. In this city, there’s no hero.

Yes, you remember her. You know everyone else does, too. Buffy. One time, you saw her sparring with the librarian. No swords, just fists. Another time, she crawled out of your biology classroom window at the arrival of a dark haired girl who blew her kisses. One time, she slammed the computer science teacher against her own desk. Wacky shit. You knew, though. That Sunnydale High had to be the safest place in town because of her. She killed things, probably. Definitely. Then she left. Sometimes, there are whispers: “I heard Buffy’s in Rome.” “I heard she lives in a castle.” “I heard she’s dead.” God, please, no. After every long night, you pray she still lives. That she hasn't let her guard down. It's midnight. You draft another email. Mr. Giles. Buffy’s still alive, right? Please tell me she’s okay. People keep dying, Mr. Giles, and we’re not even in Sunnydale anymore. Can you tell me what happened there? Why can't I stop dreaming about the destroyed graves of everyone who died? Can you tell me anything at all? Mr. Giles, Dennis is dead. Oz’s friend. I hope Oz is alive, too. I hope you’re alive. I hope you’re well. Take care. This time, you call a colleague in London. You track down Gile’s email through a stroke of luck, and you hit send. You don’t hear back at all.

Three months later, you receive a response. You’d almost forgotten about the message you sent. Your museum opened a new and successful gallery You received a promotion. You’ve been successful. (Yes, you’re even sleeping more. Shh, don’t say it too loud). You open the email.

Greetings and glad to hear from you- it’s wonderful to hear from old students. I do hope you’re well.

There is no easy way to answer these emails. Yes, you're not the only one who’s managed to reach me. I won’t disclose my location, or hers, but I can tell you that Buffy is safe, and alive, and I think she’s happy. She’s been happy for a while. I’ll tell her you asked, she likes to know that old classmates are doing well. Yes, Oz is alive. He’s been in Tibet for some time, though we do hear from him on occasion. He heard about Denis’s passing. Truly a tragedy.

I’m quite pleased to hear you’ve entered museum studies: a deeply satisfying and enriching work. I hope that you are finding enough answers with it. I know that living on- Well, where we lived is disorienting, confusing. I’ll try to answer you as best I can.

The swords I kept in the library (do never tell anyone I did that) I received as a present form a collector friend, who is long dead and whose collection is long scattered. The rest of the blade I received from my employers. I do not recommend keeping swords in your home as a safety measure. Invest in a good lock. Invest in protection charms found in books of the dark arts. I checked: your museum has some in collection. (Since you are emailing me, I can only guess that you’ve accepted explanations beyond those from the metaphysical realm).

I do sleep at night, thank you for asking. It gets easier. I don’t say this just because I’ve put an ocean between myself and Sunnydale, no: time does heal. It helps that I’m with people who understand. It helps to name the thing in the dark. I’ll put you in contact with a colleague of mine- he’s in your museum network- and you can begin to build yourself a circle, if you wish.

There is no reason that we live, my friend. There's no reason why any of our friends died. Your life is not a curse, I can promise you that. This isn’t borrowed time.

If you were being followed it would have gotten you by now. I apologize for my bluntness.

Oh, the ageless question of what happened. All the time in the world and I couldn’t give you a satisfactory answer. What would I say? That vampires haunt the sunniest part of California? That hell is real, and it can speak? I believe you already know the outline. What I can comfort you on is that yes. There are people who find evil, and they stop it. They haven't gone away. But that's not the point: don’t worry about them. Sunnydale is gone, dear student. It’s up to you to name the thing in the dark, keep it at bay. Be watchful, be wise. The world is bigger than most people know.

Sincerely,

Rupert Giles

You close your laptop. You stretch your legs. You go into the bedroom to retrieve the handgun, then place it on the kitchen counter. You stare at it. It doesn't move. You stare. The apartment is still, like the city is holding it in its throat. The clock strikes 4 am. It’s just a clock. It's just a gun. In your apartment, you’re just you, waiting for the sun to rise.

END

#well. here it is #reviews appreciated :)#btvs #buffy summers #btvs fanfic #btvs fanfiction #buffy #rupert giles #giles #vampires #daniel osbourne #sunnydale

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fan4196 · 3 years

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The truth

Hey everyone, here's another one. Hope you like it. Enjoy!

Big thank you again @angry-slytherin :)

"Hey. How are you?" Jo asks with a smile under her mask as she walks into Mer's room.

"Let's say better. Not great, but ok for someone who survived covid." Mer answers, looking tired over her own mask.

"You really scared us there. I'm happy you're better again. Your kids missed you so much." Jo nods with a toothless smile as she sits down on the chair beside the hospital bed.

"You talked to them?" Meredith asks surprised, as she watches her friend sit down.

"Yeah, I got my second shot the other day, which Link immediately used to talk me into babysitting Scout, and your kids happen to live in the same house." She says with a laugh.

"Amelia and Link really left you alone with four kids?" Mer immediately asks surprised.

"Yup. They are taking advantage of my new found love for tiny humans." She laughs, watching Meredith closely as she leaves this little hint about her intent now that Mer is fully conscious.

"Oh I heard you when you talked to me about that. You know Cristina and I used to make fun of Alex and the vagina squad back when we where interns. You really wanna join the pink scubs?" The soft tone and little smile on Mer's face calm Jo down. Knowing that Mer wasn't going to talk her out of it or judge her in any way let her nervous heart slow down.

"Yeah." Jo smiles. "I need some joy in my live and I think the vagina squad will bring me that."

"I'm happy for you, if that's what you want, even though I think that you'll miss the OR and all the cool surgeries with in a week." The older one says with a laugh.

"We'll see." Jo smiles.

It's silent in the room for a few seconds until Mer starts with a completely different topic, that Jo wasn't quite ready for.

"I think you should call Alex," the blonde breaks the silence, this time in a way more serious tone.

"What?"

"You should call him." She nods, trying to show the brunette her seriousness.

"Do you- Did Levi tell you-"

"Levi? What does Schmitt have to do with- no. I guess I have to start from the beginning." Mer starts, talking about her dreams. How she was able to see her loved once on a beach; talking to them.

"So you're telling me, that you saw people on a beach while you where sleeping? Like a dream?" Jo asks more confused than ever, not quite getting what her former mentor was trying to tell her.

"Yeah, well it felt stronger than a dream; more real than normal dreams. I was able to see people; talk to them, even touch some of them. Even before they put me on the vent I saw Derek and George." Mer tried to explain the experience she couldn't quite understand herself.

"But this time you saw Izzie?"

"Yeah and she told me that she died five years ago and that she never had kids; she never used the eggs. I know it may sound crazy and I don't expect you to believe me but what if it's true? What if Izzie's really dead? I've been near to death before, I saw Denny Duquette and that bomb guy, even my dog and mother. And they are indeed dead. So what if Alex left for whatever stupid, dump ass reason he thought was worth leaving us and is not with Izzie or his kids. Wouldn't you want to know if he left because he developed schizophrenia and didn't want to burden you with it?" Meredith asks, watching Jo closely, knowing that the Alex topic is still a really sore point for her.

"You are right. It really sounds crazy."

Jo immediately answers, defensive, putting her walls up as soon as she heard her ex-husbands name. And as quick as her mood changed she gets up and is about to leave and escape the situation she really can't be in, when something falls out of her lap coat pocket.

"Jo wait! I'm sorry- Jo!" Mer tries to scream after her, but the brunette is out of the room faster than Mer is able to hold her back.

As Meredith falls back in her pillow she sees Levi walking by.

"Schmitt! Get in here. Pick that up for me." She calls him before he's passed by.

Happy but also intimated by the big Meredith Grey he of course does what she wants and picks up the upside down white square from the floor, handing it to his superior.

"Is that yours?" He asks a little surprised as he sees that the paper turns out to be an ultrasound picture.

"No- It's Jo's." Mer answers just as surprised as the resident as she looks at it closer.

"Oh so you know? Thank god, I'm so happy that I'm not the only one anymore that knows about this. I'm actually a little concerned about her. Her morning sickness is really bad. It's more like an all day sickness and her mood swings- not fun. I bought the wrong cream cheese the other day-"

"Schmitt! Shut up! I didn't know until now." She shuts him up, looking up from the picture to throw him a look.

"Oh."

"Yeah oh. Now get me my phone, I need to make a call." She orders, holding her hand out while she's looking at the ultrasound picture again.

"Hello?"

"Ahm hi. Is this Alex Karevs phone?" Meredith asks confused as a female voice she never heard before greets her from the other side of the call.

"Yes, is it." The woman on Alex's phone answeres friendly. A little to friendly and casual for Mer's liking.

"Then who are you?" She tries to find out who the hell is currently speaking to her.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I heard it ringing from the kitchen and just picked it up. Alex isn't here, he's at the park with the kids-"

"That's not answering my question. Who are you?" Mer interrupts, before the female can keep going. Slowly but surely the mood of the blonde is shifting.

"Well, who are you?" The woman on Alex phone asks back, also slowly losing the friendliness she had just two minutes ago.

"Oh no, I'm not playing this game. Who are you and what are you doing on my friend's phone." Mer starts, ready to scream if this woman won't finally tell her what she wants to know.

"Good. I'm not playing this game either so-"

The woman gets interrupt mid sentence. You can hear rustling and arguing through the phone until the voice Mer wanted to hear in the first place answers.

"Hello?"

"Alex?" She asks, even though she recognized his voice right away.

"Mer?" He asks back, rather surprised, but happy.

"Where the hell are you? Who was that woman? Do you have kids? I know your not in Kansas, Alex. Izzie is dead. What the hell is going on?" She starts shooting off questions without letting him answer.

"Wow, Mer chill-"

"Chill? I'm not going to chill, asshole. You better tell me that the hell is going on-" She needs to stop mid sentence as a wave of coughing overcomes her; an aftereffect she still has from COVID.

"Mer are you ok?" Alex immediately asks concerned.

"No I'm not ok. I almost died of COVID, I was in an induced coma and could have really needed the person on my emergency contact to pick up his stupid phone, to decide what to do next when I wasn't able to." She starts calling frustrated.

"Fuck- I'm so sorry, Mer-"

"Yeah, you better be. Now answer my questions." She comes back to the original topic why she called.

"Ok- I'm not in Kansas. I'm not with Izzie, I'm with my sister, Amber and her kids. She's pregnant and her husband is trapped in Europe because of Covid. I'm helping her with the house and the kids." He starts explaining.

"But there was no Covid when you left-"

"I know. I came here because my brother- well he tried to kill himself. His schizophrenia got worse, Mer. He was not taking his medication, he- ahm he hurt several people and raped three nurses in the facility he was staying in. They put him into prision, where he tried to kill himself and now he's at the hospital where no one's allowed to visit him because of Covid. My mom couldn't handle all the paperwork without interrupting her routine and Amber is seven months pregnant and has two little kids, I didn't want her to do everything." He adds to his story, letting go a little sigh as he finishes.

"I'm sorry to hear that. But why the hell did you feel the need to leave? Why lying to us and sending those stupid letters, you could have just talked to us. We would have helped you-"

"That's the point, I don't want help. This is my family, you had enough family crap for a lifetime and Jo-"

"She would have helped you. You know damn well that she would have gone with you in a heartbeat. She married you, so it's her family too." Mer adds.

"I couldn't- She went through so much crap last year and she was just doing fine again- I couldn't bring her here, hearing that my brother raped three women- I- I couldn't do that to her. She deserves to be happy-"

"She's not, Alex. She's everything but not happy and it's your fault. You know that Jo's probably the strongest woman we know. Yes she went through a lot of crap and yes she just overcome depression, but you also know that she loved you with everything she had. This letter broke her, Alex. She's not showing it, but she's broken. She's working nonstop, even though she's-" She takes a pause before she says too much, then continues. "Abandoning her was worse than just telling her the truth, trust me."

"Even though she's what? Mer what is it? Is she ok?" Alex immediately asks, knowing that Mer's little pause and change of topic was supposed to distracte him from what she almost said.

"It's not my place to tell you, Alex. You should probably call her." Mer tries to talk her out of it, but she knows her friend way too good. When Jo's the topic Alex wants to know everything.

"Mer, what? Tell me, damn it!"

"Alex-"

"Tell me!" He shouts, immediately sorry, but he's so frustrated right now. He has to know that Jo's fine, otherwise- he doesn't even wanna think about it.

"She's pregnant." Mer answers, regretting it the second it comes out of her mouth. It's not her place to tell him.

"What-"

"Before you say anything, I already regret telling you. It's none of my business and actually you don't deserve to know it. I'm sorry but I'm on Jo's side. When you left her, you left me too and I hate you for that. So you are not gonna call her now and scream at her for not telling you, you hear me? If she doesn't wanna tell you, she has every right for doing so, alright? You are not her husband anymore." Mer finishes, hearing the silence on the other side.

"I know." He agrees after a few seconds, before he continues. "Is it- is it mine?"

"The baby? I have no idea, Alex. I just found out an hour ago. An ultrasound picture fell out of her lab coat when she left my room, so I don't know. I heard some rumors- but nevermind." Again immediately regretting that she said too much.

"Rumors? What rumors?" He asks.

"You don't wanna know Alex-"

"Tell me!" He interrupts her again.

"She ahm- I heard rumors that she and Jackson-"

"What?" He stops her. His head is spinning and his heart immediately starts to hurt a little. Even though he knows that he has actually no right to feel like this.

"Alex, you need to calm down. She is not your wife anymore! You are the one that divorced her! I heard that they had a friend with benefits thing going but listen the baby on the ultrasound looks way to big for it to be Jackson's, ok? If you ask me it looks like five maybe six month-"

"Fuck. I left my pregnant wife-" Everything comes crushing down on Alex in that moment and he can't hold his tears back any longer. He really thought he did what was best for everyone.

"Alex are you crying?" Mer asks carefully after a few seconds listening to the silence on the phone.

"Yes I am, because I'm so fucking dumb- I abandoned the love of my life that is carrying my baby- during a freaking pandemic. She probably had the worst morning sicknesses and- god she always told me how scared she is to become a mom but that she feels safe with me by her side- and now I'm not. Fuck- I really didn't change much since our intern year, I'm still a freaking asshole."

"Alex no; you changed a lot. You became an amazing peds surgeon, you've grown so much during the years I've known you. You became an awesome person, my person and you were an amazing husband. But I have to agree, you are a little asshole. Now you hang up, you go outside take some deep breaths, throw a few things against a tree or whatever and then you man up and call Jo. She deserves the truth Alex especially when she's pregnant with your child." Meredith tries to convince him, not knowing what else to say.

"Thanks Mer." He answers quietly.

"Sure."

"I promise I'll visit you as soon as I can, ok? I'm sorry." Alex apologizes again, drying his tears with his sleeve.

"It's ok, asshole. The kids miss you." She laughs through the phone, trying to make him laugh too.

"I miss them too and I miss you. Thank you for calling Mer."

"Sure. Please promise me not to scream at Jo, ok? And please let her tell you that she's pregnant, she'll kill me if she hears that I told you."

"I promise." He answers. "Bye Mer."

"Bye."

After he did what Mer told him, Alex is now sitting on his sister's front porch, phone in his hand, fighting with himself, wondering if he should really call. Jo went through so much already because of him, she doesn't deserve any more pain. Maybe he should just leave her thinking that he's in Kansas. But on the other side, he could never live with the knowledge that she's having his child on her own. Sure he knows that she has a whole damn village at the hospital and they will support her, but they shouldn't. It's his child and he should be the one taking care of them, his baby and Jo.

So before he can think about it any further he's already dialing Jo's number. With his phone on his ear he stands up from the chair on Amber's front porch and starts walking circles in the front yard, while it's ringing.

"Hi this is Doctor Josephine Wilson, please leave a message."

Hearing her voice after almost five month for the first time again gives Alex chills, even though it's just her voicemail message it immediately calms him a little bit. The last thing he heard from her was her crying on his voicemail, begging him to call her. This message broke his heart into a million little peaces, but he wasn't able to answer her because he knew that he would have hopped on the next plane home in a heartbeat. But his family here needed him.

Now he's the one, getting send straight to her voicemail, which he totally understands.

"Hi. It's me, Alex. Jo, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know sorry doesn't fix anything and I understand that you probably never wanna talk to me again. But please just listen. I'm not in Kansas, I'm not with Izzie nor any twins. I'm in Iowa. I'm with Amber and her kids. She's pregnant and her husband is stuck in Europe due to Covid. I originally got here because Aaron- he- he was not taking his meds and tried to hurt himself. He's in the hospital now. I couldn't let my mom or Amber handle this, I just- I'm sorry I just left like this. I never wanted to hurt you, I just didn't want you to get wrapped into my family crap again. You didn't deserve that after you just pulled yourself out of this dark hole. I wanted to protect you, but I guess I just hurt you more- I never wanted to leave you and I sure as hell never wanted you to not be my wife. I married you because you're the most incredible woman I've ever met. I guess I never told you, but you Josephine are the strongest and most amazing woman on this planet and I never deserved you or your pure, loving heart. I'm so incredibly sorry- for everything." He takes a deep breath, wiping away the tears that started streaming down his face again as soon as he started talking. "Please call me. I love you Jo and I will never stop. I'm sorry. Bye."

It's been two days now since Alex left the voicemail and he still didn't get an answer.

He called Mer again but she didn't know anything about Jo either, so he guesses he really fucked it up this time and he couldn't even be mad at her. It's his own fault-

"Uncle Alex, there's someone at the door for you."

Alex got ripped out of his thoughts by his nieces little voice. He quickly smiles at the blonde little girl and gets up from the couch.

He rounds the corner of the living room and freezes as soon as he sees the visitor standing beside his sister on the front porch.

Even though he can't see her whole face, because it's covered with a purple mask, he knows that she's smiling while she's talking to Amber. Her eyes are sparkling as she takes her few from Amber and locks eyes with him.

Slowly, not knowing if everything was just a dream or if this was really happening, his feet carry him towards the front door, past Amber, pulling Jo into a tight hug. He can fell her immediately relaxing in his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her head deep in his shirt. He tries to pull her closer but the little bumb in between them won't let him.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, not making any move to let her go anytime soon.

"Shut up." She answers, which makes him laugh.

They stay like this for a few more minutes until one of Alex's hand finds his way from her hip to the bump in between them. Jo loses her grip around his neck a little without letting completely go, to look him in the eyes. She doesn't need to say anything, they both know exactly what the other one wants to say.

"I would really like to kiss you." Alex whisperes, afraid to scare her away by saying it to loud.

"Why aren't you." She smiles mischievously through her eyes, knowing exactly why he can't kiss her.

"You're wearing a mask." He answers, even though he knows she is playing with him.

"Well lucky you I'm vaccinated plus I got tested at the airport and brought this for you." She pulls a white bag out of her purse and hands it to Alex. "If it's negative you can take it off of me and kiss me." She smiles, as Alex grabs the Covid test and harshly unwraps it.

#jolex #fan4196 #fanfic #fanfiction #jo x alex #grey's fanfic #alex #alex karev #grey's #grey's anatomy #jo #jo wilson #jo karev

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wackybuddiemewbs · 3 years

Text

Random Buddie Fic Snippets - no title, just (bad) vibes

Here’s to another snippet of things that ghost through my Word files. This one’s particularly headache-inducing for me personally. For one, trigger warnings galore. And then I have *checks file* 41k (!!!) words worth of non-fic noted down, but it’s really just unassembled bits and pieces of mostly dialog. Grrrrrrr. 😖

Since such a fic would take a lot more planning... which is basically the antithesis of me for all intents and purposes... I pester you with snippets like they are pestering me. Said it before and can only reiterate: I make you suffer with me. *cackles*

Basically, the story plays on the idea that Eddie and Buck grew up together due to plot convenient purposes and meet again at the fire station after years apart. Anyway, here’s to more madness mingled with angst! Cheers!

Buck slings his duffel bag over his shoulder when his phone vibrates. Sighing, he shifts his weight to take it out of his pocket and take the call. A smile creeps up his lips when he sees the picture flare up on his screen.

“Hey, what’s up, Mads?”

“Hey, I just wanted to let you know that you were right about that little bakery downtown. It’s so worth the twenty minute trip,” she nearly groans. And Buck can relate. When he found that authentic Mexican bakery on a long run through the city, he may or may not have shed a few tears of happiness. And he may or may not have bought pastry worth a hundred bucks.

Totally worth it to run all those extra miles for the carbs, though.

“How many conchas did you have?” Buck asks, chuckling softly.

“I’m pleading the fifth.”

“Did you drive back to get more?” he questions, though Buck is fairly sure what the answer is already, which comes promptly, “Which is why I might be late for work.”

Buck laughs, leaning back against his car. “They are in the top 5 of conchas I ever had, which is saying something. So yeah, I get the feeling.”

And he should really know, he’s had the best in the world and no. 2 and 3 also. Though those are not up for sale.

“So, I need a bit of distraction to keep myself from digging through the remains of the bag before I make it to the car,” she tells him.

“Sure, what do you want to hear?”

“Howie told me that you’re getting someone new on the team today. Are you excited?”

“… Oh, ugh, sure.” Buck can feel his jaw cramping at that.

“You know you just sounded more excited about me being on a sugar high thanks to Mexican pastry than you are about your new teammate arriving.”

He’d hoped to avoid that conversation before he got over with it. Because that’s how he normally rolls with it. He gets over with it.

Works with band-aids and most situations that give you discomfort.

But Maddie has maybe not the sixth but seventh sense apparently big sisters seem to inherit by birth, so it appears that not even the most amazing conchas up for sale in all of Los Angeles will spare him having that conversation now. Which is the equivalent of tearing duct tape off, but slowly.

“I’m a huge concha fan, what can I say? And sure, it’s cool. It’d be nice to have a partner on the team, like, permanently, like Chim and Hen, more like.”

Buck rolls his eyes back as far as they will into his skull. It’s a small wonder that Maddie doesn’t buy his bullshit. He was fine just dodging the topic until now, it’s what normally works best for him. But yeah, Maddie just knows how to coax it out of him, and he loves and hates her for it.

“Talk to me, Buck.”

Buck looks up to the sky. “… I guess I’m just a bit nervous.”

“You are nervous? Don’t you think it’s up to the new teammate to be a bundle of nerves?”

“That’s kind of my thing, though,” Buck argues.

He has been ever since Bobby announced that they’d get a newbie, not a probie, but someone to be on the team with them. Dutifully, Buck laughed at the comments about how Bobby seemingly hired him a babysitter to make sure he doesn’t do reckless stuff all the time.

The nervous energy settled in when he got home that day and his leg wouldn’t stop bobbing well into lying in bed, trying to sleep. He only fell asleep halfway through reading the Wikipedia list of minor planets named after people.

“Then why do you feel nervous?”

“It’s nothing.”

“You know you can tell me,” she says softly.

Buck closes his eyes. He understood by now that yes, he can. But that doesn’t mean he wants to. Most of the time, Buck wished he didn’t have to tell anyone anything ever again and simply exist in the here and now. Because the here and now is sunny and tastes of pretty damn awesome conchas.

“I know it’s stupid, but…” His voice trails off.

And maybe she can read his mind, Buck wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be the case, because Maddie goes on to say, “You know he’s not taking your place, right?”

“What? Yeah, I mean…” Buck chews on his bottom lip. Whenever Maddie starts to talk like that, he feels like he’s sitting with a therapist. And suddenly, what he wants to believe are just his antics sounds like food for the shrinks.

“This is supposed to be your partner. Someone to have your back, not stab you in the back,” Maddie points out.

“Rationally, I know all that. It’s just…” He stretches out his legs.

“It’s just what?” she asks in a gentle tone of voice.

“What if he’s better than me?”

What if they realize that he’s expendable after all? What if someone comes along who can do things better than Buck without the attitude? What if he can’t prove his worth anymore because that guy can do it just as well, maybe even better?

“Then I will be glad because that means someone capable is watching out for my baby brother,” Maddie answers, pulling Buck back to the current conversation, not the fictional ones inside his head.

“What if we end up hating each other’s guts?” Buck continues. He had to restrain himself from actually typing a list of all those questions on his phone when his mind went spiraling upon receiving the news. Because that’s what’s been going on ever since Bobby announced. And Buck knows how stupid it is, but his brain didn’t get the memo. There are so many what ifs that it’s making him dizzy thinking about them.

“Then you talk about it like actual adults. And anyway, no one can hate you to your guts. You’re amazing.”

Buck has to fight hard not to blush. “Thanks, but you’re biased because you’re my sister.”

His heart still beats a little faster every time he says those words out loud. Something that comes so light and casual these days, though it isn’t. It is closer to what it should be. Because it should be casual, natural, given.

But apparently, the world didn’t get that memo yet. Seemingly a pattern.

“And as your sister, I’m also always right.”

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

He laughs. She chuckles back.

“Listen,” Maddie continues. “Just be yourself. You’re going to figure it out. This is exciting, Buck. More people to add to your family, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks,” he croaks.

“I’ll call you during lunch time, unless you’re out on a call. And then I want all the details on the newbie.”

“Alright. Pro tip: Put the bag of pastries in the trunk of your car. Only way to keep your paws off of them while driving.”

“I may actually crawl back, but yeah, it’d require a lot more effort.”

He smiles. “Drive save.”

“Will do.”

“Alright, I’m heading in,” Buck says, pushing away from his car. “Or else I will be running late, too.”

“Love you, little brother.”

“Love you, too. Talk to you later.”

“Bye.”

Buck hangs up and stuffs his phone back into his pocket.

Maddie is right. There is nothing to be nervous about. He has a team now. No one is leaving. New people are arriving. That’s how it works. That’s normal. And he gets to pester the newbie. So he should really be excited, as Maddie said. Buck knows he should focus on that. On how great this could turn out to be. On having a partner. Someone to have his back. All the time.

He sucks in a deep breath as he comes to stand in front of the door leading inside the fire station.

“The door is not closed,” he mutters with closed eyes, grabbing the handle. Buck pushes inside. He is greeted by the familiar hum of the fire station coming to life. People are talking over coffee, some are still fastening the buttons on their shirts as they make up the stairs.

And there’s no place he’d rather be. Buck knew that the moment he first walked into the station for the first time, and that assessment hasn’t changed since.

Buck makes for the locker rooms to change, not wanting to run late like Maddie. Once changed into his uniform, Buck finds himself a little more at ease. Athena once pointed out that they wear those uniforms as a way of protecting themselves. You take them off after work and leave all the bad behind that you’ve witnessed on a call. For Buck, the other way is just as true, though.

When he puts on that uniform on, he can leave his anxious, knee-bobbing self behind and do something meaningful. Because that’s what he found here, beside the team that means so much to him. He found a purpose. A way of answering a calling that lies far back in a past he can’t and won’t remember. To save lives.

Buck looks at his reflection in the mirror, straightens out the collar, makes sure his hair sits perfectly. His glance lingers on the name tag a moment longer, brushes his fingers over the metal plate, the one thing he can’t fix or straighten out.

But that won’t make me flinch. Ever.

“Buckaroo! Time for coffee and talk! I need new material on that show Denny and you are watching and that you need to update me on, so I don’t have to watch it!”

Buck smiles as he closes the locker to see Hen standing there with two cups of coffee.

“Coming.”

But that fixes a whole lot already.

-------------------

Hen sips her coffee in silence as Bobby goes on about who is doing what for the day. She is glad that she isn’t assigned truck cleaning duty. That’s one of the best things about newbies and probies coming in. They get to do the dirty work for a bit. She had to jump those hoops, too, like everyone did, so it only seems fair.

Chim nudges her in the side, pulling her out of her musings. “Have you seen the newbie yet?”

She nudges him back a bit harder to tell him wordlessly that he is supposed to stop doing that. “If I had, don’t you think I would’ve told you by now?”

“Just saying, being late on the first day is not a good sign.”

“Can I help you with something, Han, Wilson?” Bobby calls out. “Care to share with the rest of the team?”

Buck laughs beside them, earning himself a nudge from Hen. That kid is going places sometimes, but Hen learned to love him fiercely after he stopped being a punk.

Fine, he’s still a punk sometimes, but we got to see there’s a heart of gold underneath all the punk and muscle and hair gel.

He grew on her the way he managed to grow on anyone, even the Captain who doesn’t like to admit that more than anyone around the station. He fired the boy first week in, and it was well-deserved, but he proved capable and kind.

Hen knew she was done for this humanoid golden retriever when she fussed over not having a babysitter for Denny and Buck jumped in after he’d just done a double-shift. She and Karen were still working things out and he just made the room, even though the boy deserved bed more than anyone else. Still, he took Denny to the park, finished homework with him, and got him to go to bed even though the kid is not so much a negotiator as he is a small dictator when it comes to bedtime. Karen and she found Buck passed out, snoring like a lawnmower, a book still in his lap while sitting next to Denny’s bed.

“Nothing, Cap,” Chimney answers. “Just sharing excitement about the newbie.”

“You’ll meet him shortly. He had to pick up his gear first and talk to the higher-ups another time. Once he arrives, you can pester him with questions as I know you will.”

“On it, Cap.”

Bobby rolls his eyes, but then his mind goes back to the clipboard and the rest of the chores yet to be divided among the firefighters on shift. The rest of the morning routine goes without further incident, so the three are soon walking down the stairs to their designated task of checking their stocks on medical equipment.

“Okay. That is a beautiful man,” Chimney says, suddenly stopping in his tracks.

Hen trains her eyes on the dark-haired Latino, putting on a shirt. That should be the newbie, then.

“Where’s the lie? And I like girls.”

“Eddie…,” Buck breathes beside her.

Hen whips her head around at the sound.

“Wait, you know this guy?” Chim asks, but Buck doesn’t say anything. Instead, he starts to walk towards the new guy, or almost staggers, she should rather say. The newbie only takes notice of him when his head pops out from the shirt.

“Buck?”

To Hen, it feels like the two just go in slow motion while the rest of the fire station is crazy and busy as always. As though the whole world disappeared around them.

She can’t make out whatever words may be exchanged between them before the new guy covers the last few steps between them and pulls Buck against him in a tight hug. Shock is written all over his face, but also huge relief. Though Hen honestly wished they stood the other way around, because she would like to know just what expression is flitting across her little golden retriever’s face.

“What on earth is going on here?” Chimney mutters.

“I ain’t got no clue.”

The newbie pulls away, smiling over both ears, both hands deftly resting on Buck’s arms. Even though Hen still can’t see Buck’s face, it seems that the guy is doing all the talking for a change. Then he is hugging him all over again.

“I repeat, what on earth is going on here?”

“Only one way to find out.”

Before they can overcome their paralysis, Buck starts to move, gesturing behind himself. The new guy nods with the brightest of smiles, not once letting go of Buck’s arm as they start to walk towards them.

Her confusion is multiplied by the way Buck carries himself, eyes downcast, looking nothing but nervous.

Did someone exchange the 118’s golden retriever this morning, or what’s going on here?

“... can’t believe we meet again in this place of all places,” she can hear the new guy say as they approach.

“S, same.”

Buck is stuttering. To repeat the repeat: What on earth is going on here?

“We have so much catching up to do.”

“Yeah.”

“Buckaroo?” Hen calls out, or maybe demands. She no longer cares for the details here. She needs to get down to the bottom of this. Fast.

“Oh, sorry, I just… this is Eddie.”

“Hi.”

“Hi Eddie, it is a pleasure meeting you. We will greet you good and proper in only just a moment. Hold the line,” Hen says, before turning her attention back to Buck. “Now to you, Buckaroo. Spill the beans.”

“Yeah,” Chim agrees.

But Buck is not forthcoming. Boy looks like a fish out of the water, his mouth opening and closing without any sounds coming out. This makes the sirens ring inside Hen’s head, not the ones at the station. Because their Buckaroo never stops talking, even when he should sometimes, and even when he wants to stop talking, he will keep talking. So him not finding anything to say may or may not force Mother Hen to have to look after her punk chick here.

“We grew up together,” Eddie says after a pause, still all soft smiles and maybe even softer curls, by the looks of it. Hen will worry about that later, too. “I honestly had no clue he was working at this station, let alone that he was in L.A. Color me surprised. Abuela will not believe this.”

“Abuela?”

“My grandmother. She’s the one who fostered him before…,” Eddie continues, but then stops himself when he notices the look of sheer panic on Buck’s face. “They do not know this.”

Buck shakes his head.

“Dios.”

“Wait, you were in foster care?” Chimney almost cries out.

“In Texas?” Hen adds, her mind still short-circuiting thanks to that input.

“Yeah. I was adopted by the Moores after that.”

Chimney gapes at him. “You were adopted?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, they don’t know about that either?” Eddie asks, now almost as frantic as they are.

Welcome to the club, hon.

“Now they do,” Buck mutters.

“But Maddie isn’t adopted. I should know.” Chimney lifts his index finger.

“Right,” Hen agrees.

Eddie makes a face. “Who’s Maddie?”

“My girlfriend, Buck’s sister.”

“You have a sister?” Eddie slaps his hand against Buck’s arm, shock taking the place of confusion.

“Wait, you grew up with him and don’t know his sister?”

“It’s a long story,” Buck sighs.

“Like how you’re Texan?” Hen scoffs.

Buck holds up his hands. “Okay, guys, can we stop spiraling for a second?”

Hen opens her mouth to give him a piece of mind, but she’s abruptly cut off by their captain standing at the top of the stairs. “Buck! I could use a hand up here!”

“On my way, Cap!” Buck yells back, the amount of relief to opt out of the conversation more than imminent. “Sorry, duty calls!”

“Hey no,” Chim hisses, but Buck isn’t having it. He pats Eddie on the shoulder. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Okay.”

With that, he starts to jog, or rather run, up the stairs. All watch him go, before their eyes fall back on the people standing right in front of them.

Well, if that’s not awkward.

“So, ugh. Hi again,” the new guy says, smiling sheepishly. “Eddie Diaz, your newbie.”

“Hi. Hen Wilson.”

“Howard Han, but you can call me Chimney or Chim. And why I’m called that is between me and God.”

“Okay. That may be only the second most confusing thing to happen on my first day.”

“We don’t normally act like this,” Hen tries to reassure him.

Chim makes a face. “We don’t?”

Hen nudges him in the side hard enough to make Chim gasp.

“Wilson, Han, you’re supposed to get on with the stocks!” someone calls out.

“You’re not our boss!” Chim shouts back at what turns out to be that jackass Lambert from B-roll no one likes because his attitude stinks about as much as his aftershave.

“But Cap is and he told me to tell you to move it!”

“I hate that guy,” Chim grumbles.

“I think I’ll like it here,” Eddie chuckles.

“They are so young and innocent when they join,” Chim snorts.

“Welcome to the 118,” Hen says, giving the younger man’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I suppose you should go up there as well and talk to the captain.”

“Alright, I’ll see you around.”

“Most certainly.”

“That was only mildly threatening,” Chim laughs, rolling his eyes well before Hen jabs him another time.

“Good to have you here,” he adds.

“Indeed.”

“Good to be here. See you later.”

“Later,” both say in unison.

Eddie smiles at them before climbing up the stairs.

“You try to get a hold of your boo, I’ll see what info I can squeeze out of Cap or Buck, whoever I get my hands on first.”

“Aren’t we supposed to get on with…”

Hen glowers at him.

“I said nothing.”

“Less talking to me, more talking to your girlfriend.”

Chimney makes a mock salute, before walking away while fiddling with his phone. Hen let’s her gaze wander up to the gallery with a grimace. Something is not right, but she is going to figure it out. Because Hen Wilson keeps all her little chicks on track, even more so now that they got a new one to take care of.

-------------------

Eddie tosses the sponge into the water bucket. Getting some of the crappier chores for the day is something he fully expected to happen. What he didn't expect, not in a million years, was running into Buck. Eddie’s head is still reeling because of it. And for what it seems, the same is true for Buck.

Buck.

To say that he seemed shocked is an understatement. Eddie knows the way Buck expresses panic. He’s grown up making sure the kid breathed instead of keeling over when it hit him, so Eddie knows that this was not just surprise, this was fight-or-flight level panic. Eddie knows by now he was so panicked because his colleagues didn’t know about the fostering or adoption – and he could still kick himself for bringing it up unawares.

He jumped to the conclusion because Buck used to talk about it freely to anyone who asked, especially after he was adopted by the Moores. Because it was his way of signifying to the rest of the world that he’d made it from being abandoned to finding friends and family. So Eddie assumed that Buck wouldn’t act any different around his colleagues.

Far from it!

“Eddie, my friend.”

Eddie nearly jumps when Hen and Chimney materialize next to him.

Speaking of…

“Hi,” he greets them.

“How’re you liking it thus far?”

“The detergents smell not as bad as some others do,” Eddie snorts. “But I’m pretty sure that’s not what you came here to ask me about.”

“Just so that you know, you can tell us anything,” Hen says in that mild tone of voice, though Eddie is pretty sure she only says it this way not to scare him away.

“You are looking for bribing material on Buck, I take?”

“We always appreciate it, but we are more like… trying to get up to speed. Until you came to the station, we didn’t even know he’d been fostered,” Hen answers.

“Or adopted,” Chimney adds.

“In Texas.”

Eddie chews on the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, about that. So he actually found his sister?”

If seeing Buck nearly floored him, hearing about his sister was definitely not adding to Eddie’s calm.

“Yes, she’s my girlfriend. You’ll get to know her soon enough.”

There is a part in Eddie that’s very much relieved to hear that Buck found at least part of his family, but another part of him hurts at the news just as much. Because that means Buck likely learned some very uncomfortable truths about his past that won’t have added to the man’s confidence.

“Back in Texas, we knew nothing about where he came from, including whether he had siblings or not. There was an assumption, but no one could be sure.”

“How old were you by the time your grandmother fostered him?”

“I was eight years old.”

“Eight years old… Buck made it sound like he and Maddie were out of touch like, only by the time she got to know Doug.”

Eddie frowns. “Who’s Doug?”

“No one you want to know.” Chimney shakes his head.

Eddie shakes his head. All of this starts to make less and less sense. Why didn’t Buck tell them about any of this? Why didn’t he when he apparently found his sister? Why are they about as clueless as he is, even though they’ve been working side-by-side with him for how long now?

“We lost sight of each other when the Moores moved away from Texas. So they aren’t around anymore?”

Hen shrugs at that. “Let’s say we’ve never met them, never talked about them, or seen any pictures.”

“Kid arrived here with a travel bag and the will to become a firefighter,” Chimney adds.

Eddie can’t help but smile at that. “That sounds like him.”

“You sound pretty clueless actually, and not gonna lie, that is strangely reassuring,” Chimney snorts.

“I prepared for meeting many new people today. Not my best friend back from childhood.”

“Aw.” Hen clutches her hands in front of her chest.

“I just hope he’s not mad at me.” Eddie grimaces. There is something tugging at his heart, just thinking about it. A memory that goes way back in time. When he thought he’d messed it up with Buck forever and always, but he forgave quicker than Eddie could forgive himself.

“I don’t remember our Buckaroo being capable of keeping grudges for long.”

“Then that hasn’t changed at least,” Eddie sighs.

“I think you two should definitely get something to drink after work, reminiscence about the good old times. Catch up. Report back to us in the morning,” she says, her voice trailing off.

“You are aware that they are childhood friends.”

“But I can be far more intimidating.”

“I think getting something to drink and catch up is actually a good idea,” Eddie ponders. “So thanks.”

“You, I like.”

Eddie grins.

“You still missed a spot, though.”

Eddie chuckles, shaking his head. Buck made some good friends here, for what it seems. And he is more than glad for it. They can surely figure this all out.

-------------------

Waking up this morning, Buck thought his biggest worry would be to sort himself out with regards to the newbie and his standing on the team as a result. While that remains true, he just didn't imagine for one hot second it may be Eddie of all people in the entire universe.

Eddie.

When Buck saw him at the station, he didn’t know how to breathe. Even though he hadn’t seen him in years, he knew instantly, only to know that he suddenly knew nothing anymore. Buck used to think he made his peace never seeing Eddie again after they moved away, but then Eddie was hugging him and all those things Buck made sure to bury deep in the ground started to crawl up through the dirt, scratching at a way too thin surface.

And now he is sitting at a bar, nursing his alcohol free beer – because he doesn’t drink when driving, he has to get people out of cars thanks to that behavior way too often, thank you very much. He is at a bar. With Eddie. His Eddie. Because Eddie invited him to get a beer after the shift, and Buck didn’t know how to say no.

Story of my life, isn’t it?

“… I don’t even know where to begin,” Buck admits after a while of awkward silence spreading between them, wherein both men just started peeling the label off of their bottles of beer.

“Same. I mean, you got a sister.”

“Yeah, ugh, I would have told you that, but Chim is still over the moon with her, so of course he mentioned her before I could. They are cute together, but at the disgusting kind of stage,” Buck ponders.

“I’m just so happy for you that you found your family, Buck.”

He manages a feeble smile. Because Buck knows that Eddie means it, understands it perhaps better than most. Because he had to deal with it growing up, had to deal with Buck dealing it growing up.

“I didn’t really find Maddie. We just… happened to meet again. Like us two did today.”

Eddie blinks at him. “Really?”

Buck nods his head. The universe always had the strangest kind of humor when it came to him.

“She’s a dispatcher now. We talked over dispatch for a while, not knowing who we are to each other. We decided to hang out. As friends. She didn’t know people in the city after she moved there only recently, so we also went to a pub and… we started to talk.”

Déjà-vu much, huh?

“Over time, I told her some stuff about my past and, well, Maddie realized that the timing seemed oddly familiar to the brother she thought had died,” Buck continues. “DNA test confirmed it.”

“I was wondering about that,” Eddie sighs, still trying to process that input for what it seems. “I mean, I really put my foot in it, just blurting out with this.”

Buck holds up his hands. “Eddie, no. You had any reason to believe I had told them. I suppose I’ve been blowing this up out of proportions anyway, so this is really just on me.”

“It’s your choice what you want to share with people about yourself, Buck.”

Buck blinks. Sometimes, he forgets how wise Eddie used to be already at a young age. He was also a dumbass a lot of times, but when it came to talking about Buck’s feelings instead of his own, the guy always knew how to make sense of the chaos and make Buck feel like his feelings weren’t just a tedious affair best ripped off like band-aids.

Eddie always understood Buck, even when he couldn’t understand himself. And Buck wants to think that the same was true the other way around, for as long as it lasted.

“Thanks.”

Eddie smiles at him, sipping from his beer.

“Speaking of, thanks to Maddie I now know my official name,” Buck continues, doing his best to sound jovial. “Evan Buckley.”

“Buck-ley. Well, that explains how you got the name,” Eddie ponders, before tilting his head to the side with a cocked eyebrow. “So do I call you Evan from now on?”

“If you want me to call you Edmundo?”

Eddie narrows his eyes at him. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Buck sniggers. “You should know better than to tempt me.”

“Evan.”

“Edmundo.”

“This sounds all kinds of wrong,” Eddie laughs, shaking his head. “For me, you can only ever be Buck.”

“Which is convenient, because I can only be Buck.”

There was a brief moment in time when Buck considered changing his name, taking on that identity, the one intended. In the end, he dropped the idea for what he hopes to be for good. He doesn’t know who this Evan Buckley was or what he’d be now. He knows what Buck was like growing up. He knows what the guy is up to these days. And while they have their qualms, he’s mostly at peace with Buck.

Even a name tag doesn't change a thing about it.

Because he’s Buck. And thankfully, Eddie sees it the same way. So maybe he’s not entirely crazy for holding on to that, however schizophrenic it may be in the end.

“Anyway, part of the reason why I managed not to let anyone in on this is that Maddie agreed to run with not mentioning it. We just stuck to the part where we lost sight of each other and found one another again when anyone asked. And until now, no one really questioned the timeline.”

“And no one ever made the connection between Buckley and Buck?” Eddie asks.

Buck shakes his head. “Maddie’s married name is Kendall. She considered changing it back to Buckley after she broke up with her scumbag husband. But when she found out what kind of scumbags our parents are, it was out the window. So no one had reason to question the difference in names and just assumed that Maddie’s birth name was Moore, too.”

“I take that there is no good explanation as to how you ended up in Texas, then,” Eddie sighs. Buck can tell that he’s trying to sound casual, soft, but the white-knuckled grip on the beer bottle is an entirely different story.

“No, not really. As far as we understand it, our parents moved across state borders under the pretense to get treatment for me. Then they just dropped me at a fire station and drove back. They told Maddie I died.”

“Why would they do that? Why would anyone’s parents…?” Eddie shakes his head, disbelief settling in. Buck knows the feeling oh too well. When he found out, it didn’t make sense to him at all. But as more details were added, the clearer the bigger picture became, though it turned none the brighter.

Buck looks around, just to be sure none of the 118 was sent here to spy on them. Once he is sure there is really just them, Buck hunches forward in his seat.

“Well, I was a big, fat disappointment, I guess. They had me to save their oldest son, Daniel. He had juvenile leukemia. I was… I was a savior baby. Just that… ugh, I didn’t save him. My guessing is that they never wanted me, so they gave me away after Daniel died. I was just there for spare parts anyway.”

Buck suddenly feels something cold in his neck, only to realize it’s Eddie’s hand gently squeezing it. Buck tenses for a moment, then eases to the familiarity of the touch, suppressing the urge to lean into it like he used to.

“I’m so sorry. I would’ve hoped for something else to come out of this.”

Buck manages a feeble smile. “It’s fine. I got a sister now I never expected to find. That’s great. Over the moon kinda great. And now I also ran back into you, too. So I’m one lucky bastard after all.”

Eddie’s hand lingers for a while, no words spoken and yet all is said between them. And how much Buck missed that. Not having to say things for them to be understood.

Eventually, Eddie’s hand falls on his shoulder, giving it a light pat before returning to his beer. “So we’re still friends after I spilled to your colleagues?”

“I didn’t stop being your friend after you got so mad for me saying that you couldn’t bake for shit, so you covered a balloon stuck to a cardboard box in frosting and told me you’d baked a cake and I cut the thing only for it to explode in my face.”

“To this day one of my proudest achievements when it comes to pranks,” Eddie snorts, breaking out laughing at the memory.

Buck can’t help but laugh along. Many of those memories got stuffed away alongside the ones he’d buried in the ground. He had no reason to unearth them because he chose not to tell anyone. But with Eddie, those things come back to light and they shimmer like gold, even after all those years of packing on dust.

“Laugh it up all you want, I got back at you eventually.”

“Don’t remind me,” Eddie groans. “I got grounded for a month because you led my parents to believe I’d be stupid enough to have a folder for porn on the family’s computer and made a message pop up every time that the folder was overloaded and created a system error.”

“Yeah. That was a masterpiece,” Buck sniggers. “But anyway. If that didn’t cancel our friendship, I think we’re fairly good with all this here.”

“Then I’m glad. When you fled the scene, I got kind of worried.”

Buck shrugs. “You know me. I’m a whirlwind of emotions, so I thought it’d be best if I took the time to cool down.”

“That was definitely not how you went about it before,” Eddie argues.

And Buck can’t argue with that. Back in the day, Buck just let the storms rage, never minding the consequences. On the job, that’s still how he rolls, but it was also how he talked, how he presented himself. After he got to meet the Diaz family, he stopped hiding a lot of things. He screamed when he felt like screaming and he cried when he was sad. He laughed when he was happy. And sometimes he even cried because he was that happy, but he learned that this was okay. Abuela always told him this and he took it to heart.

At least for as long as I could.

“Which is why I’m working on it. But anyway! Enough of me. Tell me about you. How long have you been in L.A.? What got you here?” Buck asks. Judging by the look on Eddie’s face, his transition of topics is not nearly as smooth as he’d want it to be, but Eddie rolls with it anyway.

“I moved here only shortly, for the job,” he says. “Before that, I was working some odd jobs. Before that, Afghanistan.”

Buck winces. “Shit.”

“Yeah, that’s one way of describing it. After I came back home injured, I couldn’t do this anymore. I had to set priorities differently, and somehow… I ended up in L.A.”

“Fresh start.” Buck nods his head. There is still so much to unravel in just those few sentences. Afghanistan. Injury. Priorities. Eddie tends to hide a lot more in his words, even more so when they are scarce. But for what it seems, he will now get the time to dig deeper. Because that is what Buck knows someone has to do in order to understand someone like Eddie Diaz.

“Yeah, exactly.”

“I get that feeling,” Buck says. “Los Angeles is great for that, worked out for Maddie and me, too.”

“We’ll have to drink a lot of beers to catch up on all those years we didn’t hear from each other to wind up having a fresh start in the same city.”

“Then it’s a date.”

Eddie wants to say something, but then his phone vibrates. “Sorry about that.”

Buck holds up his hands. “It’s fine.”

Eddie takes out his phone and checks his messages. Buck can see the instant shift in the other man’s demeanor. He knows that change like the back of his hand, even with years between where they parted ways and now crossed them again. Eddie’s shutting down.

“Hey, uhm, sorry, I gotta head out. It’s urgent,” he says, grabbing his wallet, clearly embarrassed and beat-up for having to leave so suddenly.

Some things don’t change, do they?

“Hey, it’s fine, man. We, ugh, we are stuck together now anyway, right? We’ll find enough time to catch up. It’s a date, after all,” Buck assures him. “Also, you’re not paying for the beer, unless you wanna pick a fight with me. Just go.”

Eddie smiles at him wryly. “Thanks. I’ll pay next round?”

“Sounds like a plan to me. Now off you go.”

“Sorry another time. I really gotta…”

“See you at work!”

“See ya!”

Buck manages to keep up the smile until the door shuts behind Eddie. His shoulders drop and he sucks in a deep breath. He pays for the beers and nearly flies out the door.

He makes for his car and climbs in. Buck realizes only now how badly his hands are shaking. Struggling for breath, he takes out his wallet again and fishes out that one crumpled piece of the past he carries with him whenever he’s not on the job, so to be sure it doesn’t get further damage.

Buck unfolds the faded photograph with shaky hands and presses it against his mouth, breathing hard against it. The tears keep coming, no matter how hard he tries to stop them. They are happy and sad. Desperate and relieved. Everything and nothing. And all that at the same time.

Eddie is back.

Eddie is back in his life, just like that, after the years it took him to accept he’d never see him again. That he’d moved on as he should have.

How do you rip off the band-aid or duct tape for that?

Or maybe that’s just the universe telling him that some things really can’t be fixed.

Because apparently, the universe is still mocking him.

#buddie #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #buddie fanfic #fanfic #snippet #y'all let me in and now I'm making y'all miserable #:)#long ass snippets that pester me and now you too #by a non-native no less #bon appétit

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hellpark · 4 years

Text

PIP: Oh, and all the torturing in hell stopped years ago, I assure you!

PIP: We made sure everybody gets a happy afterlife, even those deemed “sinners.”

PIP: Sinners is such a silly term, isn’t it?

PIP: A mere lack of faith, a few wrong gestures in life, or even simply dying at the wrong time is all it could take to send you downwards!

PIP: Funny, huh?

PIP: I mean this all in the least threatening way, of course.

PIP: You still have your whole life ahead of you, and all!

PIP: But you can take it from me, you don’t ever need to worry about whether or not you’ll be happy when you die.

PIP: There’s so much more to each and every afterlife, why I’d say hell is even better than heaven at this point!

PIP: Don’t even worry about where you are when you die. You’ll enjoy it either way.

PIP: Oops, that sounds a little strange, doesn’t it?

PIP: Moreso, I meant you’ll be happy after death, of course.

PIP: Maybe not so much the dying bit.

PIP: That still hurts.

PIP: It hurts after death too, even!

PIP: Just be prepared for that, I suppose!

THE COOL AND EPIC WAITRESS, HEIDI: Wow.

HEIDI: That’s really interesting.

PIP: It really is, isn’t it?

PIP: There’s just so much to the afterlife you don’t even consider before you die, it’s really quite amazing!

PIP: If I weren’t in a hurry, I’d tell you all about it!

HEIDI: Oh, you’re in a hurry?

HEIDI: A hurry?

HEIDI: Wow.

HEIDI: Well, better take your order then, and fast, right?

PIP: I suppose you’re right!

PIP: Why don’t we let our friend Tweek here order first.

PIP: This is his first time at Denny’s, you know!

HEIDI: Wow your friend’s name is Tweek, that’s really unique.

HEIDI: What can I get for you, sir.

TWEEK: I don’t know what any of this is.

HEIDI: That’s food, sir.

TWEEK: Well what about this picture of a cup?

HEIDI: That’s coffee, sir.

TWEEK: That’s a funny name for a cup.

HEIDI: It’s just the name of the drink.

TWEEK: Wow you guys really... drink stuff other than lava, huh. Like I thought that was kind of weird at that school place, but I thought it was a weird ritualistic thing or something?

TWEEK: And I thought Pip was just lying to me.

HEIDI: Yep.

HEIDI: Yep we do.

HEIDI: We really, really do.

TWEEK: Um, okay, I think I want to try this then.

TWEEK: “Coffee.”

HEIDI: Of course, sir.

HEIDI: And for your... um.

HEIDI: ...Kid?

TWEEK: Kid?

PIP: (The imp that followed us, my friend.)

TWEEK: Oh--

TWEEK: Right.

TWEEK: I guess I have a kid.

TWEEK: I mean I know I have a kid.

TWEEK: This is something I know for sure, positively.

HEIDI: Yes, I’m sure you do.

HEIDI: What does your kid want to eat.

TWEEK: I don’t know.

TWEEK: What do kids eat?

TWEEK: (Actually wait can she even eat? I never ate when I was that young...)

HEIDI: Might I recommend the endless pancakes for four dollars.

TWEEK: ENDLESS?

TWEEK: Do the pancakes keep coming back?????

HEIDI: Pretty much, yep.

TWEEK: Oh my god that sounds horrifying.

TWEEK: ...

TWEEK: ...Yes please.

HEIDI: Great.

HEIDI: And for you, sir??????

PIP: Just an iced tea, please and thank you!

HEIDI: Alright.

HEIDI: Coffee, a dish of endless pancakes, and iced tea. Is that all for tonight?

PIP: I believe so, yes!

HEIDI: I’ll get right to it and leave you three alone.

PIP: Thank you so much!

PIP: Well, Tweek, I never thought I’d see the day!

PIP: You’re actually willing to try something other than lava and rocks?

PIP: I mean, I know I was the one who brought you here, but I figured you’d abstain from the generosity-- as you are wont to do.

TWEEK: This stuff is meant to stay up here on the surface.

TWEEK: If I’m on the surface, then I’ll do whatever I’m meant to do on the surface.

PIP: But... you’re allowed to eat and drink in hell, Tweek.

PIP: You have for years now.

TWEEK: You made it so it was allowed.

TWEEK: It was never allowed before you came around.

TWEEK: I’ll never give into this new era bullshit you’ve brought to hell.

TWEEK: Cause it’s just not meant for hell.

PIP: Oh, you’re just too silly.

PIP: But there’s no use in arguing anymore, I suppose.

PIP: You seem so much more fascinated with the overworld, you’re just too stubborn to want these kinds of luxuries in your own home.

TWEEK: Can you stop trying to analyze me?

PIP: I don’t think I’m analyzing you, I think you’ve just made yourself very clear over all these years.

PIP: Why not have some fun for a change?

TWEEK: Is your definition of fun running around telling everybody that we’re from hell?

TWEEK: I thought we were supposed to be discrete.

TWEEK: That’s all Gregory ever said we should be.

TWEEK: Discrete.

TWEEK: And none of you are even trying.

PIP: What’s the use now?

PIP: I tried to keep myself in for you earlier, but it just made me realise I care even less than I thought I did.

TWEEK: Cool!

TWEEK: Amazing!

TWEEK: People probably think you’re a freak!

TWEEK: People don’t look like this up here, so we should be fitting in with them, not flaunting what they fear.

PIP: Are you forgetting the song I sang to you on the way here?

TWEEK: Ugh, no, but don’t remind me.

TWEEK: I just...

TWEEK: We should be more careful, shouldn’t we???

TWEEK: Gregory said to be careful but then he turned around and just... outed me like he did, and...

TWEEK: Estella’s just running around murder happy...

TWEEK: Thomas can’t even hold his form, and--

TWEEK: God we shouldn’t even be here.

TWEEK: We shouldn’t be doing this.

PIP: Tweek, really.

PIP: You shouldn’t worry so much, and you shouldn’t hide who you are.

PIP: What’s it matter if a waitress knows what you are?

PIP: What’s it matter if the people behind you know what you are?

TWEEK: It matters because--

TWEEK: Wait, people behind me?

TWEEK: Oh shit I forgot there were other people here--

TWEEK: I--

TWEEK: Woah.

TWEEK: Uhh...

TWEEK: (Oh god they’re all looking at me.)

TWEEK: hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWEEK: What’s going on!

TWEEK: I think I saw you at school today, right?

TWEEK: Hi, I’m new here.

TWEEK: Is that coffee you’re all drinking?

TWEEK: How is it?

TWEEK: I’m about to try some for the first time.

TWEEK: Is it like, a local thing?

TWEEK: You guys are just staring at me, should I just stare back, or--

PIP: Don’t mind him all too much, he’s from hell!

PIP: Nice to see you all again, by the by!

TWEEK: Um, those are fake horns and wings and teeth by the way, he’s just playing pretend.

PIP: Nope, all authentic!

PIP: I died and came back, I did!

TWEEK: (cool. cool. cool.)

TWEEK: (This is so awesome.)

TWEEK: (At least I’m keeping weirdos like you away from those guys back at the barn...)

PIP: What was that, dear friend?

TWEEK: Ugh, nothing...

#south park #tweek tweak #pip pirrup #heidi turner #pete thelman #henrietta biggle #sp firkle #sp michael #hellpark

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heloflor · 3 years

Text

So, I have set myself the objective to finish prologue 2 of “As Time Passes” before the end of the month but then the Dennis fic got in the way…

To make it up, and because I kind of want to show stuff about this prologue, here’s a fluffy and angsty WIP about Dakota post top surgery. And yeah, I guess he’s pretty young in the fic for surgery but I like to imagine that, on a social scale, things got better in the future so people being trans are a normal occurence. Also progress was made on a technological level so it’s very safe for teens (bottom surgery isn’t before 16 though since it’s longer and more difficult).

And for context : there are four siblings. Enzie (23, caretaker of the other three), Bettie (19, studies abroad but came back for the summer), Donnie (15, lives with Enzie), Vinnie (13, lives with Enzie). Because I can’t draw, the designs of the siblings OCs can be found on my miitopia game if you’re curious.

Anyways. Enjoy !

(1k words work ahead)

July 10, 2144

Vinnie was in the bathroom, shirtless, looking at himself in the mirror. He looked the exact same as he did a few days ago, aside from one small difference.

He now had two scars on either side of his chest.

He stared at it for a long moment. He had been let out of the hospital only a few hours ago and didn’t have had the time to look at his scars yet.

If Vinnie had to be honest, seeing those scars felt weird.

“Vinnie ?”, Enzie’s voice was followed by a knock on the door.

“You can come in.”, the teen replied, never breaking eye-contact with his reflection.

“How are you feeling, piccino ?”, the older brother asked. “Does it hurt ?”

“No, it’s fine…at least I think ?”, Vinnie replied. He let a finger trace one of the scars.

“Don’t touch it.”, Enzie warned, taking his brother’s hand away. “You don’t want to get it infected.”, Vinnie glanced at the adult and, noticing his expression, quickly understood his brother was serious.

“I know, I know.”, the teen replied defensively. He looked back at the mirror, at his scars. “It’s just…”, he made a hand gesture towards the mirror. “you know ?...”

“Keep going.”, Enzie encouraged, setting himself against the counter.

“It’s just…it’s just…strange, to suddenly see my body look like this. It’s weird to know I had surgery. I mean, my breast didn’t even have time to grow.”

“And that’s a good thing, right ?”, Enzie’s voice was suddenly filled with concern.

“O-of course it’s a good thing !”, Vinnie was quick to reassure. The last thing he wanted was for Enzie to think he just wasted an important amount of money. “I’m happy about it, I swear ! It’s just…I look different. That’s all.”

“Well, if you’re happy about it, that’s good.”, the older brother replied. He then stayed still, his eyes closed. When Vinnie noticed it, he immediately raised an eyebrow.

“You’re thinking about something.”, the teen pointed out.

“I am.”, Enzie smiled. “I’m thinking about the three of you.”, the older brother reopened his eyes, looking ahead of him. “Between Bettie studying abroad, Donnie on the path to become a nurse and now you getting your own life as well…”, he sighed. “You all are growing too fast.”

“Yeah.”, Vinnie teased. “Soon we’ll all be out of your hair.”

Enzie chuckled. “As if that would stop me from seeing you as the babies you once were…”, another sigh. “It feels like only yesterday I was taking you all away from Claudia’s clutches.”

“…I guess it’s been a while.”, the younger brother thought out loud. He smiled. “A lot sure has changed.”

Enzie straightened himself. “And I believe it all changed for the better, don’t you think ?”, the two brothers shared a look and Enzie smiled warmly. “I’m glad to see you all be happy, even if things aren’t always easy.”

Vinnie smiled back. “I’m glad you’re doing better too.”, he replied.

Enzie glanced away, his smile faltering. “yeah…”, he whispered.

Vinnie kept looking at his older brother for a few more moments. Noticing the man wasn’t budging, the younger brother went back to look at his reflection. He let his arms rest on the counter, making sure not to touch his scars as the discussion they just had replayed in his head.

“Say…what do you think they became ?”, he asked.

“huh ?”

“Mamma and papà, I mean.”, Vinnie explained, bracing himself when he noticed his brother glancing down, his gentle expression from earlier completely gone and replaced by a building rage. “What do you think they beca-“

“Does it ever matter ?”, Enzie interrupted. “They never bothered for us. Why should we care about them ?”, he spatted.

“I was just asking…”, Vinnie mumbled, avoiding looking at Enzie. He should’ve expected such an answer…

“…”, Enzie sighed. “I guess…”, he started with a calmer voice. “I guess mam- I guess Claudia’s happy she doesn’t have us as a burden anymore. She probably went back to do illegal stuff for money full-time. As for Pietro…”, Enzie’s eyes filled with anger again. “He’s probably alone and miserable, struggling to get by. That’s everything he deserves...”

Vinnie was uncomfortable by the way Enzie talked about their father. And yet, he couldn’t find it in himself to disagree. Their parents were terrible people. Trying to get their love would only leave him miserable. But at the same time…

Vinnie’s thoughts were interrupted by a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey.”, his older brother said. “There’s no point thinking about the past, alright ? We’re here now. We’re safe now.”, his grip on Vinnie’s shoulder tightened. “I won’t let anything happen to the three of you.”

Vinnie could only nod at his brother’s words. Eventually, Enzie pointed towards the door. Vinnie followed suit, understanding the message. It was soon time for the older brother to make dinner, and Vinnie really needed to put a shirt back on now.

“There he is !”, Vinnie was startled as Bettie’s voice filled his ears. He turned towards his approaching sister. “Look at that manly man over here !”, she reached her brothers and immediately got a hold on Vinnie, ruffling his hair with all her strength.

“Bettie !”, Vinnie tried to protest despite his own amusement.

“To think I used to believe you were a girl when we were kids ! What was I thinking !?”, the older sister finally let go of him, instead putting her hands on Vinnie’s shoulders. “Just look at you now ! You’re going to impress all the girls looking like such a man.~ ”

“And the boys !”, the younger brother added.

“And the boys !”, she corrected herself.

“Bettie, come on.”, Enzie gently reprimanded. “He’s only thirteen.”

“So what ? I was thirteen when I started getting into girls.”, the sister replied with a shrug. She ruffled Vinnie hair again, this time much more nicely. “Let him live, he’s not a baby anymore. I mean, look at him ! Look at that man over here !”, she joked again.

“I know.”, the oldest sibling replied, a hint of sadness in his voice. It seemed like Enzie really was going to have trouble letting his siblings go…Vinnie couldn’t blame his brother for it. He was always willing to sacrifice everything for them...They were the most important thing he had going on in life…

“And speaking of girls.”, Bettie continued, stopping Vinnie’s from going too far in his thoughts. “I have a certain someone to call. See you at dinner !”, and at that, she walked away.

“Bettie, wait !”, Vinnie called after a few seconds of hesitation.

“What ?”

Before she could react, the younger brother ran back to her and hugged her, almost making the both of them fall between his speed and her surprise.

“Thank you. For the compliments, I mean.”

It took a short instant before the sister returned his embrace. “Always, patatino.”, they pulled away. “Now, how about you try to find a way to scare Donnie using those ?”, she playfully asked, pointing at his scars.

“I’ll see what I can do.”, Vinnie replied with a laugh. Seemingly satisfied, Bettie let go of him and went to her bedroom. Vinnie did the same. He still had a shirt to put on.

As he walked with Bettie’s last words still in mind, he found himself glance down at his chest, at the scars that were now permanently going to be here. He smiled.

That change was weird, for sure.

But that was the kind of weird change he could get used to.

#Milo Murphy's Law #my fanfics #Vinnie Dakota #trans Vinnie Dakota #As Time Passes #As Time Passes Prologue #I might be able to finish it by the end of the week and post the full thing next monday #key word is 'might'#I can't make any promises #btw yes the characters are italian #hence the two italian nicknames Enzie and Bettie give to Vinnie #I've seen like 5-6 people in the fandom using this headcanon and it grew on me #I made a mention of it at the beginning of this prologue #but since it's not posted yet...#in the meantime enjoy a teaser of what my Dakota siblings are like #(I love them so much)#(making them in a video game came VERY HANDY to show the way they're supposed to look)

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calypsoff2 · 3 years

Text

One. Part 4

I get Chris being upset with me but he could have waited to be like this, he didn’t need to tell me I am being a bad parent at my own event “you’re upset and I get it but I just needed you to know how you making Tianna feel, I get that we agreed on what we did but how is it you didn’t send her anything? She was that upset she didn’t want anything, like I am speaking nothing. I had to make the effort and go to her school and do a little thing, this is all because her mother isn’t there for her. Like it’s not good, I hope you can put it straight. A whole month” he shook his head “I get what you’re saying Chris; I do, I agree and honestly you’re making me feel even worse right now, I know what I have done. I will fix it but just let me have some happiness” downing my wine contents “and you have been for a whole month, I have been cleaning, supporting and helping those girls and they still ask about you, if I was them I wouldn’t. You don’t deserve it” he said, pointing at him “stop, right there” I said to him, before it becomes a bigger issue “I am just saying, ok?” He defended himself “so am I, now be quiet” Chris moved away a little “I know you must be so happy for the girls to be here” looking at my mother “over the moon mom, I just want things to get back to how they are. You know” I am just needing to get back to regular schedule with everything, crossing my arms across my chest. My mother knows this is awkward “you need to rest now, Rajad has been speaking on how hard you have been working. Tell her Chris, she needs to rest now” if Chris opens his mouth and speaks on this sideways I will go crazy but he just nodded his head “of course momma, I’m sure she will rest up now” My mother smiled at him, she knows something is off but she came up to us at the wrong time, we was in the middle of that “dad, Imani is taking her shoes off” Tianna grabbed Chris’ hand “oh god, she is a terror” Chris walked off to her “I hope you have been there for the girls too, and you have flew back and forth” looking at my mother and smiled at her, I haven’t done that at all but I can’t say.

Chris and the kids went back to the house, the house I left a mess. I know it’s a mess because I left it like that rushing here, I am so happy by how everything went. Things were declining from the start of the week, I have never so stressed “Tina, be truthful with me. Did I ever mention to you to send Tianna a gift?” I am sure I did, I don’t know anymore “you did but then when I asked for what you want me to send the next day but you said you will get back to me, but things got so busy, why?” Shaking my head my head “are we going now?” Mel asked, I guess I can go home now. I have stayed long enough, my feet hurt too “Dennis, you done with the pictures” he ran over to me, he has been blinding me all day with that flash “so Chris and the girls walked the carpet, I got some images” he turned the camera “he just stood to the side as the girls stood there and the paparazzi took pictures of them, I just think this is the cutest. He looks so proud of them and then” he started skipping through the images “Imani got all scared and ran at him” I am missing from this; I don’t know why but now I am emotional. Just I am not there, I am missing from their lives “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you” waving him off and walked around him, now I am crying. I have suffered too; this is something I’ve always wanted too, and I did it and I wanted my daughters with me. I wanted to take them, but I just missed them so much, I just feel I missed out and now I’m not there. Am I a bad mother, I can’t even take this. Mel placed her arm around me “it’s going to be ok” she said, she says that, but I am heartbroken by this.

In the car going back to the house, I’m sad. I am sad by how everything has happened, I didn’t intentionally go out of my way to upset my own daughter, I wouldn’t do that to any of my kids. Just everything got to me, and it all went to shit for me “you sly bitch, how did you know he was coming?” I never got to ask that to her “oh when they was trying to contact you, he mentioned it and I said to him to keep in contact with me so I can meet him but like I said to him he shouldn’t have come like that on his own, also no security and on top of that they flew on the plane, like there isn’t a jet but I think he was being stubborn with everything I guess but you both need to plan around the kids you know, maybe it’s time for a nanny because Jen did complain” nodding my head “yep” I agreed “really?” Jah said shocked “saying that Chris doesn’t pull his weight and then I said no it’s not his fault, it’s on me. He has to stay at home, but we may need to look to that, but for now we move forward wiFenty will be released, the catwalk went great. I now need to take care of mines now, a little break from business” I need to step back, I will be at home and Chris can handle the rest. He has to go New York and do his thing; I will stay at home and spend time with my princesses. Catch up with home life, I need it “Rylee is such a diva, she said to me I don’t like your shoes. I goes these are more expensive than your outfit, she said “and they are still ugly” Jah gasped “I was like girl, try me. She is you” I chuckled “she is a handful, I know” shaking my head “you know what, Rylee is you. Like the confident you when you’re in your zone, Tianna is Robyn. Rylee is Rihanna and Tianna is Robyn but Imani, she is in her league of her own, Chris is constantly staring at her like Imani, no? What are you doing, chasing her too” I laughed shaking my head “that is my pumpkin, she is just a chubby faced Chris and I adore her so much” I cooed out, I love her.

I huffed out “home sweet home” I said out loud, the home is quiet but a damn mess “y’all cleaning this shit” turning to the stairs “bitch no, you are. Go on, go upstairs” I pouted my lips, I can’t even climb up these steps, I am so fucking tired right now “carry me” turning to Jah “girl, I can barely hold my own weight. You got the after baby weight, I can’t” hitting his arm, dragging my legs up the steps. I am going to sleep like a baby, I mean it I am going too. I have had sleepless nights for this, I am just glad it’s over with because I want to get back to normal. Reaching the top of the steps “I will see you tomorrow, good night” turning to Jah, hugging him “thank you for everything, you have been my rock” he has been the best “likewise, got to sleep” turning away from Jah and making my way to the bedroom, I just want to crawl into bed but then I know Chris will be in the bed so he will take space from me as he would. Trying to open the door but it’s locked “huh” I said confused, jiggling the door “oh, I told Chris to lock the door because he was concerned that Imani will run out” turning to Mel “my stuff is in there!?” I said all wide eyed “well I am fucking sleeping with you then” storming towards her, Mel cackled like a dumb bitch. Only she would get me locked out of my own room, now she can deal with me tonight.

Stifling out a yawn watching my daughters eat, Imani wants to be grown like her sisters, but she is making the most mess “I don’t understand why he can’t make us pancakes, he is being very lazy” Rylee said to Tianna “I think so too, he keeps yawning and ignoring us” I am just watching these two talk about me, are they being real right now “what we said about being judgemental?” they are really judging me because I gave them cereal, what the hell else do they want “nothing dad, I was just pointing out” shaking my head “Imani, why is your spoon like that?” she looked up at me and the next the bowl is on her “uh oh” I sighed out “uh oh she says, uh oh!” I repeated walking into the kitchen to get paper towels “dad, Imani made a mess” rolling my eyes “I can see she has” where the hell are the paper towels “she is eating the cereal still though” of course she is “oh wow, you’re a mess girl” Jah is awake “Imani!” Monica is awake, this means she can take care of them. Grabbing the paper towels “who made the mess baby?” Monica asked “daddy” now she is just lying “daddy, my god. Chris let me clean it, milk needs to be done properly. You go” Monica grabbed the paper towels “oh ok, I will see to Robyn. You know where she is?” I asked Jah “erm, Mel’ room” nodding my head, let me see if they are awake.

Knocking on the bedroom door lightly, I have knocked on every other bedroom door besides this one, this has to be the bedroom. Rubbing the top of my head as I stepped back from the door, they are probably not awake or something. The door opened finally “is she awake?” I asked Mel, she is half asleep with her robe wrapped around her “yeah, I think” she looked back in the room “you awake?” she asked “kind of, go in. I will be back later” Mel walked out of the bedroom so I could go inside “cool” slowly walking into the bedroom, I have really missed Robyn a lot. I miss having Robyn in bed with me, licking my lips staring at Robyn. She is staring at me still half asleep “can I come in?” I asked, she looks rough “you’re already in” her rough ass just being all grumpy with me because she has just woke up “so is that a yes or what?” closing the bedroom door “why are you being annoying, I have a headache” now she said that I banged the door shut “see, this is why I can’t stand you” she laid onto her back “you say that but you good anyways?” watching her rub her eyes “I suppose, besides the fact I was locked of out of my bedroom” sitting on the edge of the bed and then laid back, resting my head atop of Robyn’ legs under the covers “well I didn’t trust Imani, she could have ran out and then there is no baby gates so that is why. Sorry if you felt I was being harsh with you, but when I was seeing Rylee so hurt and upset by it and her saying she doesn’t want to do anything because you weren’t there, it upset me. As a father I couldn’t make her happy so yeah, I was just annoyed” I thought I would apologise, I don’t want to fall out with my wife now “just felt you could have waited to say it, right in the middle of the event was a little harsh and it did upset me, but it happened. I wish that you could have waited to say it, that is all. I don’t blame you for being upset because I would do the same with you, I would be angry with you about it so it’s only right you made your feelings known” I am glad Robyn understands why I felt that way “I am sorry I came at you too, I just want to clear the air because I missed you so much. I really did, I just want you home. As much as the kids missed you, I did too. It’s lonely and also it’s hard work too” Robyn cooed out “you’re a good man Chris, but we move forward, I am glad you came to me” looking to the side to see Robyn’ face “you sound like the therapist” we both laughed “well the worst thing we can do is not speak on it, I want that. We have been better then ever” she is right we have.

I am so happy to be back with Robyn, to be by her side again. Like we are just in silence, and it’s comfortable for us both. I am tired to say the least, I think taking care of the kids can take it out of you and with them waking up early just sucks “I love you so much Chris” Robyn said out of nowhere, breaking the silence between us “I love you more, I am tired sorry” stifling out a yawn “I can tell, I just want to go back to sleep but I am awake, how is it been then since I left with the kids” she asked, rubbing my chest as I opened my eyes “ok, the kids were trying to play a game on me and like not do their homework, for a full week this went on and then Rylee’ teacher goes to me that Rylee hasn’t been paying attention in class and homework has been missing for two weeks, I said how? Robyn just left? So he said she needed to have done this homework a while ago, then I realised it was those times where we were really busy, so she got told off, then I realised I had to make time for homework so when they came home we did homework, then they chilled while I made food, then Tianna had a party, a kid’s party so I sat there like a dumbass getting harassed with kids. Imani, she played hell. Robyn that is not my child. Ever since we got her ears pierced she has been hell, she bit me too and laughed. She has been sleeping in our bed, she won’t sleep in her own either, which when you’re here she does. She has been getting naked too, she has been beating Tianna, she climbed over the baby gate and fell and didn’t cry either, I don’t know what crack she is on, but she is. She keeps taking her pulls ups off, I am sick of her peeing on the floor” Robyn laughed out “oh my god, Chris she is your child. When I see her I am like Chris? I swear I thought she was going to be a boy, I really did. But she is my favourite Chris, I can’t help it but I will be back don’t worry, I will be setting rules again” I chuckled “she is a terror, but yeah I adore her. Man, she be jumping from the couch constantly, oh yeah god. She was unoccupied and was going to jump in the pool, so with Imani I had to always watch her, constantly. Rylee has been playing mother to Tianna. That is me” sounds eventful that “you know what, I wish I was home. I had a feeling the girls would have played up somehow, you have done so well Chris. You’re a good dad to them girls, they will appreciate what they got with you” I smiled lightly.

Sitting up on the edge of the bed, turning to Robyn in bed “you still look so tired, oh yeah Imani dropped milk on herself and then your mother walked in, and she was not best pleased but then told me she would take over” Robyn rolled her eyes “that girl, why did she do that though? You should feed her Chris, don’t trust her to be grown, especially when we are not home” licking my lips laughing “you spoil her but anyways I think we should do something with Tianna” tilting my head to the side “we!?” I spat “you’re the one in the doghouse now” she is cheeky “but we are both her parents” she ain’t shit “and!? This is on you” Robyn poked her lips out “Chris” she dragged out “Robyn” I retorted “what are you wearing under this bed?” she dragged the covers up “clothes, you not seeing shit, you are being unhelpful” I chuckled “show me” she is just playing now “nope!” she spat, I groaned out and getting up from the bed and crawling over her “show me?” I said, she smirked shaking her head “no” she said again, leaning my head down “you showing me love now?” nuzzling the side of her face “I love you and your morning breath, stank” Robyn wrapped her arms around me and dragged me down to her “I missed you so so so so much” she attacked me so many kisses and made me laugh as she did, moving my head back with her hands still clinging to my face “what are you wearing though?” I want to know “bras and panties, what else. I had nothing else” I missed her so much, letting my weight go from my hands as I wrapped my arms around her “Mel will kill us! Don’t bother” I don’t care what Mel says.

I obeyed Robyn, I am going to have to wait it out for sex clearly, but I have patience, since having three daughters I have that now “I hope no nasty deeds were done on that bed” Mel asked, I sniggered letting Mel go ahead of me to the living room. As soon as I did the first thing I see is Imani slapping Jah’ bald head, I busted out laughing “eh, excuse me. That is mean” Jah moved her away “Imani, even though that is funny you be nice now. Say sorry to Jah” I said, I have too “mommy! Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy” Imani shouted jumping up and down on the couch, I didn’t even know Robyn was behind me. Moving out of the way, Imani is so excited and overly emotional to see Robyn “awww she missed you” Monica said, “I am here pumpkin, it’s ok” Rylee came rushing in from outside “mom, you’re awake!” I smiled seeing my daughters happy to see their mother “Rylee, why you go?” Tianna walked in but then saw Robyn “dad! Come” Tianna waved me over “but baby I want to sit down” she came in “please” I groaned out “fine” I guess I can’t say no to that now, I hope we are sitting down.

My daughter deadass just made me come outside to watch her do cartwheels, is she on crack “ma’am, you made me come outside for this? Don’t annoy me” Tianna laughed out “but dad, I couldn’t do it, I can now” I will give her praise “ok, good girl. I am proud of you, why ain’t you all over mom? I mean you haven’t seen her in so long” she shrugged “mom doesn’t care for me, I don’t want to be there” my eyes widened “woah” that is some harsh words now, I didn’t think she would be saying that “Tianna baby, come here” crouching down “I just want to spend time with you dad, just me and you” Tianna made her way over to me, she stood in front of me “Tianna, your mother loves you so so much! Don’t ever think that we both love you” she shook her head “mom doesn’t talk to me, it’s Rylee or Imani. Nobody say I look like mom, it’s Rylee oh you look just like your mom and then I am nothing, Imani gets oh you look just like your daddy and then I get ignored. I be with my sister, and they all say oh you look like your mom, oh your mom twin and then she gets these things and is the person that had pictures with mom, but I get nothing so that is why I got nothing for my birthday, I don’t want to speak to mom. I am not Rylee, and I don’t want to stay in the bedroom with Rylee anymore either, I don’t like it. It’s never Rylee and Tianna. I am not wanted daddy” I am literally so teary eyed, she sobbed out “I don’t like it” wiping the tear that fell “oh my god Tianna, you are my most loved daughter” hugging her close “you’re the most caring and loving girl” I really can’t believe I am hearing this.

Tianna got me crying “why didn’t you speak to me before? I am always here for you Tianna; you are so loved. You keep saying you’re not, but you are. Rylee adores you; you know she hates it when you’re sad. I have seen her console you and mom, she knows she has done wrong. Don’t ever think you’re not wanted by us, you are. You complete us Tianna” she wiped her eyes as she hiccupped, my poor daughter “the kids at school all want to be friends with Rylee, they all call her Rihanna. I see it dad, I see pictures on the phone” knitting my eyebrows together “this is why I don’t like you having a phone, you need to ignore social media. You look like the Barbadian family, trust me. I am sorry baby, you have got my nose” I laughed “you ended up look like my side of the family but trust me Tianna we all adore you, you really breaking my heart” I hate this for her “I don’t want to speak to mom, please don’t tell her. Can I stay with you?” licking my top lip “you got to speak to her” she shook her head “she doesn’t want me” she really got this in her head right now, she needs to stop “ok, that is fine. Just please stop crying” I am at a loss, like she has made me speechless about all of this and I just want to hold her until she feels love because she is loved.

Tianna’ arms wrapped around my neck and her head on my shoulder as I made my way back inside, Rylee and Imani are both climbing over Robyn, I am just thinking how to shake Tianna off to speak to Robyn “my niece giving you hugs! Where my hugs” this is hard to eyeball Rorrey to take Tianna, he is so confused “oh uncle Rorrey wants to take you to McDonalds?” Rorrey’ face dropped “what, really” Tianna said, I knew that would get her “yeah, Rorrey. Tianna” putting her down on the floor “go upstairs and get your shoes on” Rorrey is so confused, and he didn’t sign up for this, Tianna ran off “what you doing nigga?” I knew Rylee was going to also go and I caught her “I said Tianna only Rylee, Rorrey bro. I need you do this favour for me, please. I will explain just make sure she is smiling for me” Rylee is not amused “mom! Dad is being mean, why can’t I go?” shaking my head “no, just Tianna. You can cry all you want; you are staying here” I know Rylee is offended but I can’t, I want this to be just her “you owe me big, now I got to leave the home” dapping him as he got up from the couch, least this gives me the chance.

Tianna is gone with Rorrey “Robyn, I need to speak to you now” I know the whole living room is thinking what the fuck is going on “uh yeah sure” Robyn placed Imani down as she got up “can you just watch the kids, I need to speak to Robyn please” Robyn is confused, I mean the whole room is but I need to speak to my wife. Walking off and making my way to the second living room “Jah, I know you are doing some design thing, but can I use this room” Jah groaned out “sure, ten minutes because I need this room” nodding my head as I turned around, Jah made his way out and Robyn came in “what is happening?” Robyn asked all shook “close the door” placing my hands on my hips “I am actually feeling very nervous” Robyn said as she closed the door, she turned to me “we have a problem, a major one. Like Tianna got me crying” my lower lip going but I composed myself “so Tianna and I went outside, you saw that. She was being odd, like showing me shit for nothing. So I said why ain’t you inside all over mom, she goes mom doesn’t love me” Robyn’ face softened “what!?” She spat “oh there is more, so she started crying and said that Rylee gets called Rihanna and that she is her twin and I get nothing, I look like nobody. Nobody cares for me; mom doesn’t love me. Rylee gets stuff with her, and I think she saw things on social media. I said about them having a phone, she is hurting so much. She doesn’t want to speak to you or for you to know” Robyn is in shock, teary eyed like me “we need to fix this quick. I get Rylee gets that, but she is growing up and she is seeing it and understanding it. She doesn’t want to speak to you for some reason, I had to get her out of here so I could tell you this, I am just so shocked” Robyn started to cry, I knew she would because she adores her kids.

Rubbing Robyn’ back as I moved back from her “I am hurting, how can my daughter feel like that. I am just a shit person, I didn’t mean to forget her day” she said through her sobs “I think it’s a bigger issue then that Robyn, like that just added to it. We need to majorly just spend time with her, Rylee adores Tianna, I know she does but she takes over. She is the leader and I see it; I see people saying that’s your mini you but Tianna also wants to hear that, she cried so much but we need to act on this” Robyn moved back from me “my own daughter, what do I do Chris?” she is asking me “she wants to go shopping with me, maybe you come with me. We have to act on this together” I feel even more stressed then I usually do, that is my daughter feeling like this “she wants to be also called a mini you and I don’t blame her for that, you’re beautiful and talented. It’s sad she is feeling this” I am hurting for my daughter.

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