#this isn't even getting into like queer guy culture vs straight guy culture

[somekindafairy]

thinking about how much of the perception of gender feels like a performance. wondering what it means to be a man once you strip away biological essentialism and the performance of masculinity.

maybe i would be less dysphoric if i put more effort into my performance. thinking about the idea of it "coming naturally" like men and women "naturally" behave differently and how that maps on to how people perceive trans people. or what it means to "feel" like a man or a woman to others, as if that isn't intimately connected to cultural gender preformance. or that your ability to master said performance proves something innate about you.

thinking about being autistic and having to learn a new script whole cloth when i barely (read: not at all) managed the first one, wondering if this one would come more naturally if i let it, and if it doesn't what does that mean.

thinking about the performance of gender as a different culture, like learning a new dialect. idk

[genderkoolaid]

hey about that ask and post about how trans lesbians dont have any real in to the community to start figuring out their identies i think your missing a bit of the point because yes trans gay men dont have an automatic connection either and mlm and fandom spaces are pretty bad about 'cishet women' consuming alot of mlm content or relating to mlm ships and characters but while theyre there they are kinda (probably in a harmful way) learning about queer identites at least hearing the words to look up and research on their own but thats a different thing to trans lesbians not even having a space to get that close to queer people if at all without being kept out of conversation about queer identies and so never or much more rarely having space to find out about trans lesbians or given space to relate to wlw or queerness

of course most trans men in either of these spaces are celebrated for coming out unless they find groups of transmen in fandom even but i dont think that makes these experiences all that similar i think we should appreciate these as diffrent experiences without lessing eithers impact

I mean. there are closeted trans lesbians who have an awareness of queer identities through their friends or through online communities from the perspective of an ally. This is not the same as being able to identify oneself with queerness and feeling that you are accepted as an insider in those spaces, but that feeling isn't necessarily handed to closeted gay trans guys being read as heterosexual cis women either. And still, it's not as if there aren't any "straight" "cis" "men" who have queer friends or engage in communities frequently by queer people.

And I feel that having this conversation on Tumblr biases us, seeing as this is The Website for "straight" "cis" "women" who get really into MLM shipping. What about gay trans men who aren't chronically online in that way? Who live their lives as "normal" straight cis women, and whose only exposure to transmasculinity is the vague concept of "butch lesbian becomes masculine straight man"? Outside of Tumblr culture, I do not see gay trans men being given much visibility, with the "ex-lesbian" narrative still having a strong grasp over how most trans men are perceived.

I just feel like this argument is working off a very specific and local-to-Tumblr idea of the experiences of a gay trans man. Like, there are (in my experience), more gay trans men active in Queer Tumblr than gay cis men, and the same is not true for cis lesbians vs trans(fem) lesbians. But if you go to the vast majority of areas, where gay cis men dominate, gay trans men are not always being given space or visibility.

[cowpokezuko]

I recognize that the f/f vs m/m slap fight is pointless and a stupid way of creating division between queer people but ooooo it gets under my skin. It's fine actually if people, esp. lesbians and sapphics who are into f/f content feel underrepresented in fandom because they often ARE. I don't agree with blaming m/m creators, it's not their fault at all, but it's also valid to feel like sapphic content can be hard to find because it's often outnumbered ten to one in most fandoms. This issue largely stems from the lack of complex female characters in a lottt of media with big fandoms, which is not the fault of m/m shippers, but the original creators. There is also a case to be made that stories about women tend to get less attention than media about dudes, which is a larger, cultural problem that isn't specific to fandom but rather a symptom of a patriarchal society, so they don't have a chance to build the fandoms of male dominated media. We are finally starting to learn that straight white guys are not actually the default person, so I have a lot of faith that this issue will change with the times.

This is part of the reason I will always be a supporter of genderbending or transing characters or making your own ocs. If there aren't the type of character you want to see in the media you like, just say fuck it and change it. Characters are entirely fake and can be bent to your will. Once you get over that hurdle, suddenly everything can be about lesbians if you want.

It's absolutely understandable to feel like no one gets you and no one else feels the things you feel, but someone else does and it may just take a little digging to find it, and if you can't find it, make it! Yes it's awesome to eat the cake that someone else makes, but you can't simply pout your way into other people making cake for you. The audience for f/f content is undeniably smaller than the audience for m/m content, but there are so many passionate and creative people making sapphic cakes, and once you find them, it feels fantastic. And who knows, maybe YOU'LL make the thing that gets someone else to start loving f/f ships. If you're not an artist or writer, you can still talk to them about their ideas and support their work or hey even commission them to make exactly what you want to see in the world! What a great way to help your favorite artists and writers make more of the things you love to see.

TL:DR I just think it's very odd for a space predominantly inhabited by queer people and women to get so reactionary when people express dissatisfaction with the amount and quality of representation, even in the niche of fandom. Also cook your own food and find people to nerd out with.

[lnkedmyheart]

Something I don't like about the people who criticize skam og is this. The criticism often comes in the case for Vilde's sexuality, Evak, and Sana and Isak's conversations.

Here's the deal, Vilde's whole fan made lesbian storyline was high key based on stereotypes. She doesn't actually show any evidence of being gay or wlw like Isak did from day 1. At best some of her interactions can be seen as bi-curious but she is pretty consistently into men. Eva is most definitely bi and yes something CAN be said about the easy sexualisation of women in general but that's because it's more normal (unfortunately) like lingering shots on girl's asses and shit.

The Evak situation. Well, just because these guys are white men doesn't reduce the fact that they are gay. Hi, white gay men also have problems. There is nothing wrong with Skam having white gay men, it's not an attack on your identity and it's not them being white supremacists. Also the show itself handled their story with a lot of respect (more than straight pairs even) it's only the rabid side of the fanbase that went too far but that's everywhere. Also I saw someone say they were horrified that Even was presented as a good guy and not some awful human being because of his mental disorder which triggered their trauma with a bipolar abusive bf so I guess we should just demonise this kid with a mental illness. Like buddy, if one guy was a jackass to you and used his mental health issues as an excuse it doesn't mean all bipolar people deserve to be demonized. You aren't wrong for having trauma but you are a bitch if you think people with bipolar disorder should never be depicted getting a happy ending. Get some therapy for that bitchy behaviour and grow the fuck up.

Lastly, the Sana situation. As a queer, poc I actually agree with white boy Isak on what he told Sana. Asking questions is important. But any sane person knows that doesn't mean actual racists mocking you. Seriously, not once did Isak mock her Or question her experiences, he simply told her to stop looking for racism in every little interaction. It's heights of gaslighting if you're sitting there waiting for someone to make a comment that sounds vaguely like a remark that could have racist undertones under a microscope. Context matters. Most people of a different race will ask you about things because we only have the internet. Half of my culture is presented in the most skewed and ridiculous manner possible online. It's detached and covered in tons of commentary by both people who want to pedestalize and demonize my culture. You don't know if everything online is a fact. So yes, I would much rather someone come up to me and ask about the various things about my culture and know how to respect it. Even if they keep doing so again and again. And I'm not stupid so as to not know when someone is being a racist dick vs when someone has a genuine question. I don't need to sit there on my high horse getting livid about people not knowing about my religion and presenting myself as a cynical twat to others when racists are out there to do just that. And if some jackass does come up to me to mock me I have enough brains to know that I'm being mocked. And how the hell are non racist people supposed to know what is and isn't acceptable unless they know what they need to know through someone who lives that life.

Stereotypes don't make a lesbian, white gay men doesn't equal racism and white supremacy, and most importantly ignorance isn't racism. And y'all keep insisting "go educate yourself" but are such lazy fucks that you don't even wanna inform them about the reality and instead tell them "google exists" Like google isn't a fuck ton of garbage that works on which site pays the most amount of money and survive solely on misinformation and spice factor. Half the racist bs people spout is shit they've seen on the internet.