#slap fighting

[cowpokezuko]

I recognize that the f/f vs m/m slap fight is pointless and a stupid way of creating division between queer people but ooooo it gets under my skin. It's fine actually if people, esp. lesbians and sapphics who are into f/f content feel underrepresented in fandom because they often ARE. I don't agree with blaming m/m creators, it's not their fault at all, but it's also valid to feel like sapphic content can be hard to find because it's often outnumbered ten to one in most fandoms. This issue largely stems from the lack of complex female characters in a lottt of media with big fandoms, which is not the fault of m/m shippers, but the original creators. There is also a case to be made that stories about women tend to get less attention than media about dudes, which is a larger, cultural problem that isn't specific to fandom but rather a symptom of a patriarchal society, so they don't have a chance to build the fandoms of male dominated media. We are finally starting to learn that straight white guys are not actually the default person, so I have a lot of faith that this issue will change with the times.

This is part of the reason I will always be a supporter of genderbending or transing characters or making your own ocs. If there aren't the type of character you want to see in the media you like, just say fuck it and change it. Characters are entirely fake and can be bent to your will. Once you get over that hurdle, suddenly everything can be about lesbians if you want.

It's absolutely understandable to feel like no one gets you and no one else feels the things you feel, but someone else does and it may just take a little digging to find it, and if you can't find it, make it! Yes it's awesome to eat the cake that someone else makes, but you can't simply pout your way into other people making cake for you. The audience for f/f content is undeniably smaller than the audience for m/m content, but there are so many passionate and creative people making sapphic cakes, and once you find them, it feels fantastic. And who knows, maybe YOU'LL make the thing that gets someone else to start loving f/f ships. If you're not an artist or writer, you can still talk to them about their ideas and support their work or hey even commission them to make exactly what you want to see in the world! What a great way to help your favorite artists and writers make more of the things you love to see.

TL:DR I just think it's very odd for a space predominantly inhabited by queer people and women to get so reactionary when people express dissatisfaction with the amount and quality of representation, even in the niche of fandom. Also cook your own food and find people to nerd out with.

[sigs-gurney]

I learned about the insane world of slap-fighting - a REAL sport mind you - and gave some of my coworkers slap-fighter names

Here goes it:

Manager 1 - Stick Bug (tall and lanky, has somewhat stunted movements and a gate like a stick bug, anxious af and rather harmless but I think if he swung hard enough his stiff arms could do some real damage)

Manager 2 - White Knight (he is the most unproblematic white boy with a mostly unpassionate flat affect, also stood up for me against that one coworker)

General Manager - Hidden Switch Blade (I just think he’d carry one just bc it’s funny)

Assistant Manager - Karrot Kake (ginger and slightly pudgy, also appreciates stupid things like replacing hard c’s at the beginning of words with k’s)

Coworker 1 - Brokeback Bastard (big lad who jokes regularly about his degenerative disk disease, a hetero who can do the splits better than most drag queens hence the gay name)

Coworker 2 - Blindsider (basically blind without her glasses, but unexpectedly strong and powerful [met Coworker 1 at a party and punched him bc he drunkenly asked her to after she drunkenly hit him by mistake once already and then knocked him literally off his feet, they’re married now])

Coworker 3 - Shooting Star (name begins with “star” irl, has a very strong personality that overwhelms me on occasion but she’s very sweet)

Coworker 5 - Little Shit (older lady who doesn’t speak any English aside from swear words and names, “little shit” is her favorite thing to say in English [all the managers either speak or have learned some Spanish to communicate with her and taught her said swear words])

Me - Biggie Bendy Straw (one coworker compared himself to Tupac and myself as Biggie and it stuck bc I am teeny and absolutely not gangsta, hyper mobile and have shown most of my coworkers videos/pics of me fitting into tiny spaces [have arranged with coworkers to prank Stick Bug by crawling out of empty cabinets eventually])

Don’t have anymore names atm, but I have decided what type/color of cat everyone would be bc I’ve always LOVED cats and it has permanently affected how I view and understand people my whole life

Me - fluffy colorpoint munchkin (colorpoints are one of my favorite colors, fluffy cats r cool, and I can fit into small spaces)

Manager 1 - black and white cat (almost definitely undiagnosed ASD and takes everything very seriously and at face value)

Manager 2 - white shorthair (see unproblematic whitey statement, impeccably clean and wears the same style pants but in different colors every day)

GM - grey shorthair (very calm and goofy, nonchalant about most things, everyone respects)

AM - short ginger tabby (see ginger above, gets along with everyone)

Coworker 1 - dumb orange and white tabby with busted up tail (ADHD and accident prone and has many scars from it but iron fortitude)

Coworker 2 - solid tortoiseshell (assertive and takes no shit but also kind)

Coworker 3 - fabulous greying silver and white tabby longhair (very glam personality, ate it up in the 70s)

Coworker 4 - short greying black shorthair (arbitrary color choice bc black cats are just my favorite and she is very very sweet)

Some others I didn’t mention before

Manager 3 - black medium hair (has nice poofy haircut and has a cool moon-related style)

Manager 4 - mousey brown shorthair (has brown hair, quiet but efficient, I made a joke about her cooking a mouse in the oven when she burned bread one time [it smelled bad and def wasn’t a mouse but I have done that on accident at home bc we get mice in the winter])

Coworker 6 - rusty tabby (friendly and mischievous, pulls pranks on Stick Bug on the reg, has gotten hit by cars riding his bicycle numerous times but has never gotten more than a scratch, dumpster dives for no particular reason other than to entertain himself [also tells harmless over exaggerated stories so maybe the car thing has only happened a couple of times])

Coworker 7 - dilute calico and white (boisterous and jokey, usually pretends she understands what you’re talking about but will immediately admit she doesn’t if you ask)

Coworker 8 - generic brown tabby (usually slacks off when he can but still gets his bread, very very southern accent so he reminds me of a barn cat)

And that’s it. Enjoy ig lol

[ur-stepdad]

the slap fighting channel i follow recommended this CarJitsu channel

[goodjohnjr]

She KO'ed Her On The FIRST SLAP

She KO’ed Her On The FIRST SLAP What Is It? The YouTube video She KO’ed Her On The FIRST SLAP by the YouTube channel Chiseled Adonis: She KO’ed Her On The FIRST SLAP Continue reading She KO’ed Her On The FIRST SLAP

[nerdpoe]

When Danny decides to reincarnate, centuries after his adventures, he chooses a random Dimension of Heroes and Villains.

He's expecting adventure! Heroics! A life worth bragging about in the Afterlife!

He wakes up in a tube, staring down at surprised teen heroes as they release him and another person.

Later, he finds out that he's a clone of Batman and Superman, and the other clone is of Superman and Lex Luthor.

He came into this world expecting adventures, not a weird custody battle about him and his brother (because that's what Conner is) between two A-List superheroes.

[usurperss]

Karly smorking.jpg

[gatoiberico]

the depths

print

[z34l0t]

[yourlocalabomination]

“The spankoffski bros are played by the same actor, they both can’t be on stage at the same time!”

Wrong. Joey has two hands.

May I present the superior solution:

[skribblez]

The reason why causes like the fight against KOSA don't go anywhere is because you fuckers give up too quickly.

You see one advancement from that damned bill and drop your sword and say that it's over.

Wake the fuck up.

If we don't keep fighting, even if it's gone silent for a while, that shit's gonna go through without us even knowing. Fight tooth and nail. Show them that we can and will beat their asses if they don't straighten up. And don't just say we will. Actually do something if it does pass. They think we'll take this sitting down and will just lay there. We need to prove them wrong.

But if we don't get on their asses and lay down like cowards, they'll think they have power. You bitches who say "it was a good run" or "I can't do anything so we're fucked" are part of the problem.

KOSA and KOSA adjacent bills blatantly violate several amendments in the US constitution. People need to realize that.

And if you don't think you have a voice or can't stop it in any way, yes you can. Do research on your rights, don't just get your info from Tumblr or wherever else. Go on and search on your own. Especially if it's something you've seen and you're unsure if it's true.

Misinformation can murder a cause.

You can do things, you just need to find a group.

And don't just keep KOSA online. Tell people you know. Make them care. If they think it's a good idea, change their minds. Don't "agree to disagree."

And don't just not care because you've lost faith. You can still try. And if peace doesn't work, get physical. Get dirty. We've done it for causes like Palestine, we can do it for this.* (read the tags for my elaboration on that- i don't want people getting the wrong idea.)

Organize. Attack. Scream. Make them hear you. Because if we don't, they're gonna take full control.

[rin-may-1103]

The Wrong Robin Au (part four)

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Danny slowed his car down, staring at the black iron gate coming into view; Bats and ivy welded on in an elegant pattern, obviously more thought-out than The Drake's ducks had been. He had to give it to Tim, the kid had been right about how stupid the ducks looked.

Glancing around, Danny found he was completely alone on the dirt road. The gray sky slowly brightened as the sun climbed higher in the distance, trees swaying in the gentle breeze, and birds chirped.

If it hadn't been for his experiences at Vlad's place, he would have found the scenery comforting, maybe even inviting. But the knowledge that this was the home of a billionaire, one that went out at night to fight crime like a furry on crack nonetheless, ruined it.

Maybe he should just head back to the motel...

...

Fuck it, when had Phantom ever backed down? That's right! Never! Danny was going to stick to his metaphorical guns and follow through with his admittedly stupid plan.

Taking his foot off the brake; Danny activated his intangibility, shared it with the car, and drove through the gate. (look, what were his powers for if not to make his life convenient? He deserved it after literally dying for them. AND the gate was probably locked. There was no way he could convince someone to let him in at this time in the morning, so...)

Danny kept an eye on his surroundings as he drove, he doubted Bruce Wayne would have ghost vultures working for him, but that doesn't mean Danny wouldn't be prepared if he did.

Eventually, a large building came into view. Its gothic architecture and obvious timely design set it apart from Vlad's modern monstrosity of a castle. Danny could just tell this was a home for a family with old money; the weathered roof and aged water fountain told stories of the people who used to live there. This was a home, not just a house.

Pulling his car over and parking, Danny quickly sent a mental prayer to the home's ancestors. He hoped they could forgive him for what he was about to do.

Grabbing his backup phone and his keys, Danny tossed the car door open and stepped out. Immediately his senses were clouded with grief and anger. It was so strong he almost lost his footing. The house was just drenched in the emotions, tendrils reaching out and wrapping around anything and everything.

Closing his eyes, Danny held his breath so he could focus on blocking the emotions out. (flashes of someone else's memories rushed past his mind; a glimpse of a young boy sitting in a library reading a book. An older man sitting next to him silently. In another flash, the two were now in a dark cave, the light of a computer the only thing illuminating them as the older man draped a blanket across the boy's back. whispered words of sincere promises echoed in his head.)

He had believed Tim, but he hadn't expected it to be this bad. Ancients, this was worse than when he had to deal with Spectra.

Batman definitely needed therapy.

...

Maybe Jazz should be Robin instead, she'd know how to handle this properly. but Jazz wasn't here right now, she was in Sweden learning all about mental health. Which meant Danny would have to do this himself.

yay.

He had two options; One, he sits down with the man and they have a sincere and very emotional conversation. Or two, he beats it into the guy's head that he needs to stop going out and trying to get himself killed. Based on everything he knows about Batman? It was going to be number two that was going to get results... Well, at least Danny had experience punching things until he got what he wanted. (even if it didn't always work.)

Shaking himself out of his mind, Danny started making his way to the front door. It was past five in the morning, Bruce should be home now. Whether he was sleeping like Danny would assume he usually did, was a different question altogether.

Glancing around the door, Danny found there was a large rope hanging to the left. Vlad had the same thing at his place, it was an old-fashioned doorbell.

shrugging, Danny pulled on the rope and waited.

and waited.

and waited.

After a minute or two, Danny pulled the rope again. Suddenly the door swung open to reveal an older man dressed in a nice waistcoat and trousers.

"Can I help you?" the man asked, a British accent completing the look.

Danny blinked for a second before quickly focusing back on his task. "My name's Danny. Bruce is being a dumbass who needs to take a chill pill and take a step back from hospitalizing criminals. Can I come in?"

It was the old man's turn to stare and blink at him. After a minute, the man stepped back and opened the door, his eyebrow raised. "I would like to see how you plan to tell this to Master Bruce. His office is this way, young man."

"May I ask what exactly you're doing here?" the man asked, closing the door behind Danny.

Danny shrugged, "I'm here to beat some sense into him. He's going to get himself killed and no one wants to see what happens when he does."

The butler, because the rich fruitloop would obviously have one, hummed as he nodded his head in agreement. "I see. Maybe this is what he needs then. he won't listen to me, no matter how much I nag him."

Nothing else was said as he guided Danny through the manor, eventually stopping at a fancy dark wooden door. "Master Bruce, you appear to have a visitor." Then He opened the door and gestured for Danny to enter.

He only had a moment to ponder how he should do this before he entered the room. He should keep his powers hidden, for now at least.

He was greeted with the sight of an exhausted man in a bathrobe sitting at his desk and staring out the window. He was clutching a very worn and loved book in his hands, his brows slightly furrowed. (Danny noted that it was the same book the kid had been reading, The Hero and the Crown... or something like that, Danny hadn't really gotten a good look at the title.)

The butler stepped back, closing the door, and stood next to it to maybe await his new orders. Ones he probably wouldn't get any time soon, if the way Bruce hadn't moved or responded meant anything.

Well, if the old man wanted to see this then who was Danny to stop him?

Stepping forward, Danny leaned over the desk and slapped the back of Bruce's head. The man swiftly turned and stared at him, raising one of his hands to touch his head in shock. Danny heard the butler choke in surprise but ignored him. He could only pray to Clockwork that Bruce didn't kill him for this.

"You are being absolutely idiotic, dude." Danny declared. "Do you think Jason would have wanted you to act like this?" Bruce stood up, his chair slamming into the wall, his eyes burning in anger. "No? Then get your shit together and be the man he would be proud of."

Bruce lunged over the desk, his fist pulled back to hit Danny. It was just like Danny expected, just like Tim had told him, the man was letting his emotions control his actions. Dodging to the side, Danny continued talking, "This going out every night, fighting more and more dangerous and outlandish people all by yourself? It's going to get you killed."

Bruce gave up on trying to punch him, instead, he threw himself forward and body-slammed Danny to the floor. Danny coughed, quickly blocking his face as Bruce took a swing at him. Using the man's blind anger to his advantage, Danny kicked Bruce in the chest and sent him flying into his desk. "Jason's dead. It sucks. and it hurts. It's probably the worst pain you've ever experienced, but there's nothing you can do about it."

Danny glared at the man as he scrambled into a crouch, waiting to see what Bruce did next. "Shut up," the man growled, shoving himself up and away from his desk. He picked up his stapler; he was probably either going to use it as a blunt weapon or throw it at Danny. Widening his stance, Danny got ready to dodge or lunge.

He remembered reading about him, online when he first became Phantom. He remembered reading about Robin and Batman and how they worked together to protect Gotham. How they tirelessly worked day and night to put their rogues away every time they got out again.

He remembered seeing pictures of Batman standing next to little Robin, a proud smile on his face as the police took the criminals away. Pictures of the man helping and protecting Robin whenever the boy couldn't handle whatever mess he had gotten into. There was even a memorable one of Batman scolding an obviously sheepish Robin, a knocked-out Riddler slumped behind him.

He had wished so badly for someone to help him back them, for someone to be his Batman when times got hard. He remembered how devastated he was when it turned out the only person like him was Vlad. Vlad, who had wanted to murder his father and marry his mother. Vlad, who had overshadowed people to gain more wealth and power. Vlad, who hadn't seen how wrong it was to try and clone him.

He remembered the comments and videos from the citizens of Gotham, cheering for their heroes when they succeeded in capturing the rogues. How they still supported them when they failed. It was nothing like Amity's reaction to him.

He remembered how Gothom reacted when Robin was pronounced dead. How the city had cried and raged. He felt it all the way over in Amity, the grief and anger. The whole city had come together to mourn the boy who protected them. Even two years later, Danny could still feel the echoes.

"Jason's dead. He's dead and gone and you're letting yourself get consumed with your grief. but you made a promise Bruce."

Danny knew he had, it was the same promise Danny had made just four years ago.

Bruce's eyes widened and the anger that was surging in his eyes froze for just a moment. His hand loosened around the stapler but didn't let it go. The butler looked concerned, unsure if he should interfere or not.

"You made a promise all those years ago when you first dawned that stupid bat suit. You promised to do everything in your power to help your city. To protect it. Robin made the same promise. When he took up his suit. They both did."

Bruce's jaw tensed, his eyes narrowing. Danny lowered his body, still ready to dodge at a moment's notice.

"You made a promise to your son, Bruce. Even if he didn't know it. One that you couldn't keep."

Bruce threw the stapler, making Danny jump to the side to dodge it. His mistake was not keeping an eye on what Bruce did after throwing it. The man quickly rushed up to him, eyes blazing in anger. "You don't know anything!" he cried, his fist slamming into Danny's jaw. Danny staggered back but ducked under the next punch.

"I lost my son! I wasn't there!" Bruce shouted, kicking Danny's legs out from under him. Danny's back hit the floor, knocking the breath out of him. Bruce followed him down, breaking his nose with another punch to the face. "I promised I would protect him and I wasn't there!"

Danny growled, catching Bruce's fist in his hand and sending a punch at the side of Bruce's head. Bruce tried to lean back, Danny's fist clipping his forehead. Bruce grunted, reaching up to grab Danny's fist to keep him from punching him again.

"You couldn't protect him! I get it, it sucks!" Danny shouted back, flashes of Dani's melting form grasping at his shirt in panic pulled to the front of his mind. "It leaves a black hole in the center of your chest! It sucks all the warmth out of you, leaving only the cold bitter knowledge that you couldn't save him!" (that he couldn't save her)

Bruce pulled his fist out of Danny's hand, slamming his elbow down into Danny's chest and twisting Danny's right arm sharply in an attempt to break it. Danny kept talking though, ignoring the pain as he pulled his arm out of Bruce's grasp, "But Jason made a promise! and you're doing nothing to keep it!"

Danny grabbed onto Bruce's bathrobe and flipped them so Bruce was the one on the floor now. Quickly reaching up, Danny grabbed both of Bruce's hands and held them as still as he could. Bruce was strong, but Danny had years of fighting Skulker and the other super-strong ghosts under his belt. "He made that promise knowing that you had made the same one!"

Bruce growled, throwing his head up in an attempt to hit Danny with it. Danny leaned back, accidentally loosening his grip just enough for Bruce to break out of it. Bruce shoved him off of him, making Danny slide back and hit a chair.

Grunting, Danny stood up and lunged at Bruce. Bruce dodged to the side, dropping down to pick the stapler back up. "I can't claim to know what Jason would have wanted," Danny spat, backing up to give himself more space as Bruce stepped toward him. "but I know as someone who made the same promise, I wouldn't have wanted you to change into what you are now!"

Bruce narrowed his eyes at Danny, "Yeah, and what's that?" he growled.

"A careless, suicidal, moron," Danny growled back.

Bruce froze, stopping in place as he stared at Danny.

Danny took his chance to drive his point home; standing up straight, he raised his hands up in surrender. "He was your son. He looked up to you for protection. For guidance. And sure, maybe you weren't the best dad, and maybe you made mistakes. But you were his dad."

Danny stepped forward, watching as the butler stepped forward to reach out to the man. "and what kind of son would want his dad to kill himself?"

Bruce dropped his stapler, his eyes falling to the ground and catching onto the book he had dropped earlier. It was opened to the front page, written words in messy writing covering it.

"You need to stop, Bruce," Danny said, slowly crouching down and reaching out for the book. Bruce watched him as he stood up, the book still open to the front page in his hands. Jason's writing visible to all of them.

"you couldn't keep your promise to protect him. It sucks and it hurts. but you can keep his promise. The same promise you made all those years ago."

Bruce looked up at him, his blue eyes filling with tears, the butler's hand resting on his shoulder. Danny stepped forward again, holding the book out for Bruce to take.

"You can't protect Gotham if you're dead."

Jason's handwritten note stared up at them, the ink messy and smudged.

'to the best dad in the world and the many adventures we'll go on!'

and Bruce? Bruce crumbled to the floor with a sob, leaving Danny to stand in front of him. Blood running down his face, staining his hoodie and pink Hello Kitty pants, the book still held out with steady hands.

Next

[goodjohnjr]

Everybody Got Slapped Into A Coma

Everybody Got Slapped Into A Coma What Is It? The YouTube video Everybody Got Slapped Into A Coma by the YouTube channel Chiseled Adonis: Everybody Got Slapped Into A Coma Continue reading Untitled

[corpsings]

🧼

[gotogull]

I post Kirby and WH40k art exclusively now.

[notbecauseofvictories]

I'm re-reading Pratchett's Wyrd Sisters for book club, and there should really be a truly epic saga about The Friendship Of Gytha and Esme, Young Witches Who Absolutely Shouldn't Get Along But Do, Shockingly (Even If Sometimes There are Minor Natural Disasters Because There Has Been A Row)