#this makes 0 sense i feel im rambling

[pseudophan]

Worst part of twitter drama is that they LOVE to pull up out of context clips of BIG to make their point it's so annoying and makes no sense most of the time.

it's literally the dumbest shit. first of all half the clips they post is out of context but even when it isn't my biggest thing is like? that video is five years old atp? and ofc anything he said still stands if he hasn't contradicted it since but if he HAS then.. what are you doing. mainly him talking about wanting to keep his personal life private and not share details about his and phil's relationship. very valid! and to an extent that definitely still stands! but people use that clip to say you can't even say they're together cause that's "speculating", which is a double whammy cause 1. he didn't actually say we can't say they're together he just said HE wasn't going to go any deeper on it and, most importantly, 2. since then he's said??? so much???? more ?????? you can point to dan saying he wants to keep shit private all you want but it's insane to do that and then ignore the frankly baffling amount of instances since then of him Not Keeping Shit Private

but yeah in general big is a very nuanced video and the vast majority of clips in there can't really be shared as a gotcha for any side of any argument cause most of it will have another moment five minutes later where he says something different/adds to it. the overall message of big in terms of us as fans is essentially 'it sucked to be pestered about my personal life and boundaries were very much crossed but i don't hold any grudges and i understand and am flattered by the passion and there were also a lot of funny times i wish i could have partaken more in', which is a very nuanced stance that's still even just the very surface of all he was saying

[lovesickeros]

lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...

it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy

also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]

gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.

anyway.

there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.

imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.

a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.

the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?

but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.

[eeblouissant]

in this essay I need to talk about the way Dorothy acts around & reacts to stan in this clip (season 4 ep 5) specifically or I will simply perish.

enjoy the unorganized (unedited, and definitely not reread) chaos, this will be more of a ramble than anything - it’s so late & I need to get these thoughts out of my head before I explode.

Firstly, the clip in question:

( 1:15 - 2:22 )

now. Oh boy. Where do I even begin.

As much as I know it was done for comedic effect; the way Dorothy doesn’t hesitate to let herself cuddle into stan (STAN!!! CUDDLING. with STAN. And **publicly** there are so many layers here) when he puts an arm around her, describing what probably were the happier times Dorothy’s mentioned having with him despite it all (or at least a version of them. his version, that he’d created in an attempt to persuade her, as we learn pretty quickly) - oh god it just breaks my heart. She lets herself feel those memories for just a moment, before it all inevitably comes crashing down again. The way she snaps so quickly… that’s something we do not see in younger Dorothy. Younger Dorothy comes off much more passive-aggressive leaning more on the passive (shy?) side, she’s just very logical & no nonsense (but not in the way she is now). That’s something that Dorothy never really loses - Whereas current Dorothy has lost that (passiveness) completely with stan, and seems find it natural to come off as “aggressive” & dominating around/toward others. So - that ability to shut off & become defensive like that, & so fast, was developed later on. She’s got a bite now that was learned, because she had to bite to survive. For her own sanity. Do you know how much work that would take to unlearn & heal, if she ever even tried? oh my. Yeah I’m not well. I don’t think she would have much faith in it changing either, it’s become such a part of her. I think she would feel a little lost without it.

That first bit kills me - but what kills me about this scene most, is that last bit. Where she tries to push back further with a comment she know will be funny and just a little hurtful (towards stan, im sure she thought) and that will further deflect. But it backfires and hurts her instead. Her voice breaks. It breaks and her eyes soften and it looks like that just for a moment she lets the hurt shine through. Because that is especially painful, she cannot bury it. Her entire demeanour changes as those last few words are delivered (and Oh My God do they register fast - like she’d reopened that wound having no idea it was going to sting so badly.) and I just - oh my GOD. For that split second she looks like she might crack, the pain in her voice is so clear. & then the walls go right back up & it’s pushed right back down. I cannot deal. I absolutely cannot. Dorothy has let herself be vulnerable in the past, but has there ever been more than maybe (maybe) a handfull of instances where her voice & face soften that way? Anyway, I’m absolutely losing it over those little details. I’ve yet to find another scene where it feels like younger Dorothy shines through in the current. It hurt my heart so good and I cannot stop thinking about it :’) I think this is my sign to rebinge every episode in order. Because I am definitely forgetting - there has to be more.

Okay that’s all for now! If any of you have any thoughts or personal fav scenes (etc) to share as well please feel free!!! Dorothy angst seems to be my drug of choice lately lmao

(like two bits of this were my own interpretations of Dorothy’s character based on observation, don’t take them as canon nor am I claiming they are, because we obviously don’t know exactly what happened in between + younger Dorothy didn’t have much screen time :’)! Headcanons are just so much fun to throw around!!)

She <333 <33333333 <3 <3 <3 heart heart heart xxoo literal angel

[skunkes]

re: that fly in the wall post... I've been best friends with a guy for 5 years and we talk nearly every day and even I don't know what it is we talk about

i have a best friend of 10 yrs idk what we talk abt either

[messybouquetoflilies]

what's your favorite thing to be praised for? favorite way to get it?

hmmm ummm.. i rly like when ppl tell me im pretty.. idk. oh i love being told im good.. n when they tell me they want me

[seung-mong]

hyunchan - guilty guilty pt. 2

includes: sub! hyunjin x dom! bangchan x switch! fem reader, slightly darker themes, CHAN IS SO MANIPULATIVE IN THIS LMAW, mentions of infidelity, dacryphilia, heavy angst, oral (f and m rec), cum play, spit play, praise, hyunjin is soooo subby, some mxm action, use of "sir", use of petnames, slight degradation, fluff to make up for it at the end<3

a/n: finally!! someone decided to get off their ass and actually start writing! sorry it took so long i wanted, nay NEEDED it to be perfect and my creative juices were not juicing so i had to wait for inspiration to come to me JHDJSH but anyway here it is! i hope you enjoy it, i had so much fun writing it and tbh im blown away by how well received the first part was!! okay bye love u

wc: 4143 :0

hyunjin stares blankly back at bangchan, blinking slowly as he tries to process what he just heard. he almost feels like he's in a dream, but everything's too real and suddenly he's hyperaware of every little detail, as if all his senses are heightened. the silent hum that hangs in the silence. the way chan's eyes are honest, sincere, tired. the sound of his own shoe hitting the leg of the chair he's on as he nervously (subconsciously) bounces his leg.

"im... im sorry you want me to.. what?" hyunjin is taken aback by his own voice, surprised that he actually gathered the courage to repeat the question that's been on his mind. he's proud of himself for not screaming the question at chan, his friend, the way he's been screaming internally at himself.

"to fuck her." chan's voice is gentle, but it's a slap to the face and a punch to the gut as hyunjin winces, eyes squeezing shut as he tries t control his breathing, willing himself to calm the fuck down. obviously, he misheard his hyung. no one, i mean, no one. would ask for their friend (who is obviously in love with his girl by the way!) to fuck said girlfriend. hyunjin swallows thickly, convincing himself this is some sort of sick joke, a way for chan to test him.

"i dont know what you're talking about. why would i want to fuck y/n?" hyunjin's laugh is hollow, and he almost feels pathetic when chan smiles sadly at him, shaking his head.

"you dont think i've noticed how you look at her hyune?"

hyunjin feels sick to his stomach. if this is some kind of cruel prank, chan has gone too far. but. but if there was even a small chance any of this was real, hyunjin's still equally fucked. you noticed? god he feels like such a creep, he thought he was being discreet.

"chan, i-"

"it's okay, hyune." chan chuckles, scooting his chair closer to hyunjin, placing a heavy hand on his shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "look, i- i'm not exactly the most present boyfriend." hyunjin looks up at his hyung, can see the bitterness in his still somewhat gentle eyes, and hyunjin almost pities him. "i'm always busy, never home, i try to make time for her, god do i try. and she's always so sweet, so patient and understanding and it's unfair for her." chan rambles, shoulders drooping as he shakes his head.

"i want her to feel loved. even if i'm not the one doing it."

hyunjin swallows but his throat has gone dry and it feels like sandpaper. he can feel his heart ache a little when he sees how sad chan is, tiredness evident in his very being, his eyes, the slowness of his breathing, his posture.

"but.... how's that fair for you?" hyunjin's voice is small.

chan shakes his head, running his fingers through his messy hair. "that doesn't matter to me right now. i just need to know she's happy. cared for. you can do that for me, can't you hyune? you'll take care of her for me, won't you?"

hyunjin frowns. chan's using his sickly sweet voice, the one he knows holds so much power over hyunjin, knows hyunjin could never say no to him when he pouts. it's unfair really, chan knows how bad hyunjin wants to be good, eager to do anything just for a little bit of praise and attention.

"f'course." hyunjin mumbles, eyes fixed on the plump of chan's lower lip as it juts out.

"see? knew i could count on you. you're a good boy f'me, aren't you hyune?" chan smiles, placing a hand on hyunjin's head and gently ruffling his hair. hyunjin scowls at him, but he can't hide the blush that spreads to his cheeks at the praise.

oh, he's so fucked. why did he even agree? how the hell will he manage to fuck you take care of you when he can barely hug you without wanting to tell you how down bad he is for you? it's all so messed up, how chan knows how he feels for you, and yet asking this of him? his self restraint can only go so far.

"there's just one more thing." chan clears his throat, placing a gentle hand on hyunjin's still bouncing leg.

"you can't tell y/n. promise?"

"chan."

your voice is barely even a whisper, pure fear settling at the pit of your stomach, your heart is beating so loud you can feel it in your head, can literally feel your blood run cold as you sit up in bed, hugging your knees to your chest in an attempt to put as much distance as you can between you and hyunjin. you dont even dare to look his way, gaze fixed on your boyfriend who stands in the doorway, letting his duffel bag hit the floor with a loud thud.

you hope you can play it cool, praying it doesn't look like hyunjin was just fucking your brains out. but there's no way to hide it, the way you're both slightly covered in sweat, sticky. chan wasn't stupid, could easily put two and two together once he registers that you're naked under the covers, hyunjin still shirtless and just in his boxers that were quickly shimmied on. you feel like imploding, want the ground to open up and swallow you whole. god, anything to get you out of this situation.

chan cant help but feel a little mean, the way he enjoys watching you shake as sobs rack through your entire frame, eyes full of guilt slowly pooling with fresh tears. you bite your bottom lip in worry, unsure of what to do, what to say. chan decides to play it out a little, taking a small step towards his side of the bed, eyes coldly fixed on you, completely disregarding hyunjin.

"chan." you repeat in a pathetic whimper, hands shaking from fear, pain, guilt. the whole situation is so overwhelming to you, and you hate that you can't read your boyfriend's stare, so intensely fixed on you yet no emotion can be read.

you let out a little sob, and chan can feel blood rush to his cock. he's dizzy now, feels so powerful with how you're looking at him. there's so much chan wants to do, with so little time and no idea where to start.

"hyung. say some-"

"quiet, hyunjin. didn't say you could talk. did i?" chan harshly cuts him off, glancing at him as he sits swakwardly on the edge of the bed.

"no, sir." hyunjin hangs his head, can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks in embarrassment as he sees you turn curiously to him in his peripheral vision.

"i told you to fuck her. not profess your love for her like some pussy drunk slut." chan's words sting, but he manages to say it in a cool, gentle tone, which somehow makes it worse for hyunjin, but he can't stop the shiver that goes down his spine. he simply nods, mumbling a small 'sorry, sir.'

you look back at chan, confused, but the tears have not yet stopped flowing, cheeks yet and silent sobs escaping you as he approaches you.

"and you? my poor, sweet, baby." chan's tone is surprisingly sickly sweet as he places a knee on the bed, hand reaching up to wipe away your tears. you can't help but nuzzle against his palm, desperate for some sort of affection from him, a silent promise that you were okay, that he could somehow forgive you despite the horrid thing you've done to him.

"what happened to my sweet, good girl, hmm? where'd she go?" oh chan feels so mean, guilt tripping you for something he's so masterfully orchestrated.

"i'm still your good girl." you whine, shifting so you're sitting on your knees, a pathetic attempt to prove your point, hoping to show chan you still remember how to be obedient.

"no, no." chan tuts at you, watching as fresh tears pool in your eyes, threatening to spill over and down your round, rosy cheeks. "my good girl would never do this." oh he's so mean, it makes him hard as a rock watching your lower lip slightly quiver.

"sir, please." you whine, your last attempt at proving your obedience to chan has hyunjin's eyes growing wide. huh. chan had you calling him sir too.

"you need to make it up to me. understand, baby?" chan whispers, leaning towards you, hand wrapped gently around your throat. not putting any pressure, but still a reminder that you were his. you nod in understanding, but chan just clicks his tongue at you.

"yes, sir. i understand."

chan seems pleased with your answer because he finally kisses you, soft lips latching onto yours and you suddenly realize it's the first time chan has kissed you in so long. your heart aches at the realization, and you start to sob against him.

"oh my poor baby," chan mumbles against your lips, cradling you into his arms, settling you in between his legs, your back pressed against his chest. "you just missed me, isn't that right angel?" he hums, gathering all your hair and swooping it down over your shoulder, allowing him access to one side of your neck. you rest your head back on his shoulder in instinct, hands searching for his.

"miss you so much, channie. m' so so sorry." you whimper, eyes closing at the feeling of chan's puffy lips leaving open mouthed kisses down your neck, onto your naked shoulder.

"no, no. no need to be sorry, baby. i'll take care of you now. we'll take care of you, promise." he whispers against your skin, arms wrapping around your waist and pressing you against his chest.

he reaches down with one hand to spread your legs, leaving your cunt exposed to the cold air and heated stare of hyunjin, who still sits cautiously on the edge of the bed, cock straining in his boxers. chan pins your legs under his, fingers now ghosting just below your belly button, leaving you squirming against him.

"hyunjin." chan calls, his tone low, commanding. "don't be selfish. don't you see how she needs you?"

oh chan is so fucking evil.

"tell him how much you need him, pretty."

"please, hyune." you call for him, and hyunjin groans low in his throat at how pathetically needy you look. "need you to do anything. touch me."

"no, i think you deserve hyunjin's mouth." chan grabs both of your hands, muttering a low "keep them there." as he pins it under your thighs.

"hyunjin. come over here." chan coos, watching with a small smirk as hyunjin crawls over, gaze still unsure and confused. his eyes meet yours, glazed over and still full with tears, and hyunjin can feel his heart tighten. oh, he can see why chan was being so mean now. you're too pretty when you cry. hyunjin lowers himself in between your thighs, nose just barely grazing your clit. he's just about to dive in when chan stops him with a scolding click of his tongue.

"what do you say, hyunjin?"

"thank you for the meal."

a gasp leaves you when hyunjin eagerly laps against your cunt, tongue licking once from your slit to your clit, groaning lowly at the taste.

"smell so good," hyunjin hums when he fully buries his in between your thighs, nose nudging at your clit while he thrusts his tongue in and out of your hole.

"what do you say, baby?" chan lightly slaps your thigh when you try to close them from the pleasure, pinning down and granting hyunjin more space to move around as he laps at your cunt like a starved man.

"th-thank you." you whimper, squirming under chan's hold as hyunjin's full lips wrap around your clit and suck, tongue flicking just the way you like and your eyes roll to the back of your head.

"so pretty like this, angel." chan hums, nudging your jaw with his nose, a gesture too romantic for the situation you find yourself in. "hyune's making you feel good, hmm?"

"yea, f-feels so good." you moan, hand instinctively going to reach for hyunjin's hair in an attempt to ground yourself, but chan holds you back. you whine from the back of your throat, and chan just clicks his tongue at you.

"is he making you feel better than me, hmm?"

chan's question catches you off guard, and you try to twist away from his hold. you feel like you can't breathe, from the sudden pressure hyunjin's hand places on your lower stomach, holding you down so he can lick into you more violently.

"n-no, channie. only you. you- you make me feel best." you're not sure if you even sound coherent, and chan only chuckles at you.

"but our hyune's doing such a good job." he coos down at the blonde who's eyes are fixed on you, so wide and full and glazed over and you feel the coil in your stomach tightening when hyunjin groans against your pussy.

then chan reaches down, fingers tangling in hyunjin's hair and holding him down against you. this takes both you and hyunjin by surprise, has you cumming violently in hyunjin's mouth as he ruts into the mattress, cock hard and raw and so painful.

"finish your meal, hyune." chan commands in a low tone, sending a shiver down your spine as hyunjin licks you clean, to the point of overstimulation that has you writhing in chan's hold.

"en-enough. please, too much!" you sob, closing your legs around hyunjin's head. he finally pulls away from you, lips wet and shiny with your slick, cheeks red from being in between your thighs.

"my good girl." chan hums, hand coming up to cup your cheeks, forcing you to turn your head towards him as he kisses you with vigor, leaving you breathless. "what do you say to hyunjin, love?"

"th-thank you, hyunjin." you mumble, limbs going slack from your orgasm.

"but we aren't done here, baby. get on all fours." chan moves from behind you, slipping his shirt off and throwing it off your bed. you whine when chan manhandles you on all fours, already tired from the effort of keeping yourself up.

chan's hand lands on your ass with a harsh slap, sending you forward and almost collapsing into the mattress.

"so hyunjin gets to fuck and taste you, and i get nothing? i thought you wanted to make it up to me, hmm?" chan harshly reminds you, palm of his hand going over the red mark on your cheek, soothing the sting with his gentle touch. you can only nod, arching your back against him and wiggling your hips in apology.

"see? you can be a good girl." chan hums, rolling his sweatpants down his legs before kicking it away. "now, you're gonna take what i give you while hyunjin fucks your mouth, okay baby?" his hands find purchase on your hips, gripping so tight as his fingers dig into your skin, making you wince. you can only nod, shy eyes looking up at hyunjin, who's already kneeling eagerly in front of you.

chan holds the base of his cock as he teases you, tip leaking with precum dragging against your folds until it catches at your entrance, but he refuses to slide in. he chuckles meanly when you squirm against him, pushing your ass against him in hopes of enticing him to just fuck you already.

"stop teasing," you whine, turning your head to look back at your boyfriend who only smiles at you. he leans forward, lips finding yours in a sweet kiss. "but it's my pussy, baby. i get to do what i want." he coos, licking at your lips before he pulls away. he lines himself up with your entrance, spitting directly on top of his cock before he slides in, pushing all the forward until his hips are flush with your ass.

the initial contact makes you both groan, jolting you forward and against hyunjin's thigh. he cups your cheek with his fingers, forcing you to look up at him while you adjust to chan's cock.

"gonna suck me off good, baby?" hyunjin whispers, thumb swiping across your lower lip before he pushes it in, lips instantly wrapping around the digit and sucking. you nod up at him, hooded eyes staring right into his soul and he feels guilt eat at his stomach. wasnt he just telling you he was in love with you just an hour ago? now here he was, about to fuck your face like you were nothing but a slut.

the thought makes his cock stir. he lifts his tip to slap against your cheek, sticky precum leaving a stain on your skin. he gently eases the head into your mouth, watching in awe as your mouth stretches around him.

from behind you, chan's trying to keep his composure, trying to resist the urge to just hold you down and fuck into you until you can't walk straight. but he decides to have mercy on you, pulling out to the tip before he harshly shoves himself in, making you moan in surprise around hyunjin's cock.

with chan's every thrust forward, it sends you to choke and gag even deeper around hyunjin's cock. your eyes start to water every time hyunjin's tip hits the back of your throat, and you struggle to breathe, but god hyunjin's moans were worth it. eyes closed and head thrown back, hyunjin loses himself in the feeling of your throat wrapped around his dick, and he almost wants to cry from how good it feels. teeth sinking into the plump of his lower lip he decides to risk it and look down at you, all teary eyed and obedient for him.

"chan, 'm gonna cum." hyunjin's voice is strained with the efforts of not blowing in your mouth. he pulls out of your mouth, edging himself as he slowly pumps his shaft with one hand, the other looking at chan for directions, a command.

"hold it." chan groans, not even sparing hyunjin a look as he continues to fuck you, tip kissing your cervix so good it brings tears to your eyes. he can start to feel your thighs shake, a telltale sign that you were close. chan decides to pull out, making you almost scream from the loss of contact. you open your mouth to protest but chan maneuvers you onto your back before you can get a word out. he gives hyunjin a look, and he immediately scoots closer to you, settles in between your legs as chan pumps himself from beside you.

"just the tip." chan tells the younger, nibbling on his lower lip when hyunjin slowly pushes into you. hyunjin wraps his hand around what isn't in your pussy, pumping himself as he watches you with hooded eyes.

"fuck, i'm gonna cum." hyunjin gasps, hips stuttering against his own hand as he empties himself in you, a high pitched moan leaving his lips as he holds himself over you with his other hand, careful not to crush you. hyunjin has no time to rest before chan is shoving him out of the way, eager to sink back into your pussy.

"my turn, baby. you can take my cum too, can't you?" he asks so sweetly, hyunjin's cum making it easier for him to slide in until his hips are flush against yours.

"cum for me channie," you coo, fingers tangling into his curly hair as you pull him in for a kiss.

he groans against your mouth as his thrusts pick up, heavy thighs slapping against yours at the sheer force as he fucks you deeper into the mattress.

"m-missed this pretty pussy." chan slurs, and you know he's close. always got this way before he came- he loses his filter and starts to ramble. "almost go-got me crying, baby. hyunjin can fuck you all he wants but you're.... you're fucking mine. and mine only. arent'cha baby?" he drools against your neck, hair tickling your chin as he thrusts frantically against you.

"only yours, channie. promise." you whisper against him, kissing his cheek as he looks up at you.

"i love you so much." he groans, hips stilling as he cums, making sure to finish as deep inside you as he can, silently wishing for it to catch so he could tie you to him forever.

there's a beat of silence after chan pulls out, nothing but the sound of heavy breathing filling the room. hyunjin lays beside you, staring up at the ceiling as he tries to still his pounding heart. you quickly glance at him, eyes landing on his plump lips as his tongue darts out to quickly lick it. you're about to turn to him when chan's arms wrap around you, pulling you closer to him and overwhelming you with his embrace.

"me. only me." he mumbles into your hair as he wraps himself around you.

"only you, channie." you kiss his chest, clinging tightly onto him until there's no space between you.

"i'm- i'm sorry. i'm never around anymore." his voice breaks towards the end, and you look up at him, surprised to see a single tear rolling down his cheek.

you quickly shush him, grabbing his face with both hands and forcing him to look at you. "don't you dare. don't apologize channie, there's nothing to be sorry for." you whisper before you lean in and kiss him.

"you deserve someone who takes care of you, y/n. not someone you can barely call a boyfriend cuz he's missing so much from your life." chan sniffles, and hyunjin's heart drops to his stomach when chan's eyes flicker quickly to him.

but you shake your head, wiping away the tears that continue to flow from chan's face. "don't say that, baby. i knew from the start what i was getting into and it doesn't matter to me. not when i can call you mine." you coo, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. from behind you, hyunjin awkwardly shuffles and sits up on the bed.

"i... i guess i'll get going now." hyunjin's voice is small, but he doesn't move right away, as if hoping either of you would tell him to stay. and to his surprise-

"shut up and get back here," chan orders, his tone soft yet playful. "come here and cuddle my girlfriend or i'll kick your ass."

hyunjin's cheeks go warm when he cuddles closer to your back, arm wrapped around your waist in an awkward embrace. he flinches a little when he feels chan 's hand rests on his, fingers grazing his wrist as he hugs you too. then hyunjin can't stop the smile that finds its way to his lips, and he buries his face against your back, planting a soft kiss on your nape. briefly, he wonders what it would be like to call you his, for you to call him yours, if it was just the two of you safe in your little bubble. but then he looks at chan, who's eyes are closed in pure bliss and watches the steady rise and fall as he breathes and then there's a new thought. one he quickly shakes away as heat rushes to his cheeks.

subtly, he grazes his fingers against chan's palm.

you fall asleep like that, chan's strong arms wrapped securely around you with hyunjin's lips pressed to your skin. you feel at peace, sure in yourself that all the questions the three of you have would be answered when the sun rises.

taglist: @prettyboyyoongs @n034sy @felixbrownies143 @148-seungmin @beomgyusonlywife @kidrauhlschik @hwunjinhyang @ner9z @littlestarhyun @abcdefgiwsmcty thank u for letting me tag u !! lmk if u wanna be added or removed teehee

[kijosakka]

Thoughts. okay so the total drama drama drama drama island special is interesting mainly bc of team e-scope but im going to take a moment here to ramble about his dynamic with other people here,,

(oh and i didn't have anywhere really to slot it into the other post or segue into it here but dodgebrawl as a Moment demonstrates how [this AU] noah can play the social game, just in a very very different way than how it's normally seen.

he knows what he's doing is going to bother his team and incentivize them to vote, i'd say in this au he even plays up the cockiness and makes veiled personal slights against specific people

(mainly those who would be annoyed enough to vote him off, see: heather, justin, leshawna, cody/trent to some extent if he said smth about gwen? < and gwen herself in that scenario. and to another extent beth, since hes playing up his outright mean traits, which would make lindsay vote with her. i dont think he would do anything specific to/with owen or izzy, since he may see izzy as too volatile and owen too genuine)

in the opposite way of whats expected, sure, but it is a social play. he can pick apart what these people are and what they show and push at it to achieve his own ends (and maybe its even some sort of way for him to regain control in this fundamentally uncontrollable situation he's found himself in; he can be the punishment in foucalt's imagining, to a much smaller degree))

so his teammates,,, do not like him tbh. his flagrant display during dodgeball and everyone being pissed at him after the fact is true in this AU, just coming with different motivations. even after the fact when the frustration of everyone fizzles out, hes still majorly offputting because of his detachedness, and deliberately makes his shown traits very unpalatable to experience in person combined with that.

the only two exceptions are izzy and owen respectively: owens mostly coming from a place of genuineness and im going to say while he wouldnt be able to verbalize it, in some manner owen would clock noahs behavior as a defense mechanism. maybe in the sense of 'hes just scared to open up to people!!' or something similar, but he definitely has a lot more faith that noah really isnt that cold and flat.

[*]izzy feels much the same -- except maybe it comes off more to her as strategic. izzy can act, and might recognize that in noah. if you wanted to you could write this in as to why she was eager to swap teams in the first episode, but it wouldnt change that he does get eliminated and thats all she sees of him until the special -- which, her intrigue in his lacking and the fact that it apparently wasnt strategic to get him further in the game, could help explain why she picks him in the team-up.

[*i have soooo much to say about izzy in this au actually. but ill save it for a diff post]

and speaking of the team-up: team e-scope!!!! :0

my au my rules eva and izzy became really good friends on the playa; izzy isn't afraid of eva (and curbing her anger before it reaches a boiling point) and eva is physically adept enough to restrain izzy from Shenanigans that might be a little Much. but eva doesnt really?? know anything about noah?? but izzy insists on teaming with him for the special (and unbeknownst to her noah wasnt even planning to participate initially) so he must be some level of Not Too Bad if izzy wants anything to do with him that doesnt seem to be related to tormenting the guy

and she thinks hes Fine. apathetic and detached and unpalatable (but then again, everyone in their little trio really is to some degree), but can kind of understand izzys intrigue: hes still A Guy, hes just hidden behind 20 layers of non-substance that are so offputting from the first meeting it makes people steer clear of him.

now with tddddi comes two other pertinent details: the justin line, and the Thing With Duncan.

i personally thing noahs 'he's the anti-me' line is really funny in the context of canon but if you squint it kinda works here? wherein justin is non-speaking yet flaunts himself to be the center of attention and clearly shows intent and capacity to scheme (underdeveloped or no, see: awakeathon), whereas noah speaks a lot yet lets himself fade into the background, showing vague hints of the capacity to scheme but no intention or palpable ambition behind it.

^ am i reaching? maybe. the other option here is noah somehow has seen him in-person before on a modeling or red carpet kind of gig and dislikes him on principle because of it/its a jab at it (smth smth they are both opposite ends of the same industry? justin is the face of it in a manner where noah stays behind the scenes and out of sight)

and the thing with duncan,, hear me out here okay noah does his whole song and dance, goes up to him and patronizes him, and duncan retaliates. however, he curses like a sailor and in noah's head has ruined the footage, therefore instead of further retaliating and potentially invoking actual physical harm he just. doesnt react. at all. duncan looks up at him and hes just dead-eyed staring down at him -- and then he leaves.

^ the scene has been ruined, and everyone else is doing so much that theres no reason to play it up any more. duncan and him arent plot important like how heather and lindsay were, theres no reason for the crew to painstakingly edit his swearing out. they just wont let it reach the final cut. duncan is understandably very confused by this, but at that point noah was already gone to find eva and izzy again (< this is when the cast having a running bet that noahs and android becomes Not a Joke)

but life goes on!!! and in the worlds worst comedy of errors (for noah), izzy ends up dragging him along into the lake, thereby leaving him as a confirmed member of the next season.

^ noah is so angry at this. popping blood vessels. he argues with chris endlessly, straight frothing at the mouth at only having two days of real reprieve before he has to deal with the Same Shit again. and chris gets this, to some degree, but also knows that if theres no explanation for noahs non-appearance to hand the producers, theyll be pissed (since all things considered, noahs pretty damn popular among the fans)

luckily for him, courtney just filed a lawsuit against the show!! and since chris is busy running said show, the producers do not want to deal with it and are willing to hand off the case to anyone else -- hence, chris officially signs noah on as his PA, and noah takes over the court settlements and whatnot.

< though i do imagine the producers would see it as a 'get out of the show' scheme, and thereby push way harder for his involvement in WT as a result

but noah does get a break!!! for now, at least.

[ruanais]

A ANOUNCEMENT !!! EDITED : I’m not gonna deactivate it cause I just realised I’m too attached to this blog help-

hello !! I’m here to make a important announcement <3 so !! okay this might come as a shock, but I will be leaving @/ruanais ( a few days later cause I need time to clean things up ) !! T-T I’m really sorry but I simply don’t have the time or dedication to this blog anymore :( every single one I’ve ever met on this account was rlly nice esp my mutals and I’m so glad I got to meet every one of you <3

@silverbladexyz : gosh, we’ve been mutals for quite a while Huh ? I’m so grateful to you even tho we don’t rlly talk much anymore sihdjsjdjsjahhsjsj thank u for being with me after all this time !! :D

@justcallmesakira : we haven’t talked tooo much but I’m happy to have met you !! your works are amazing and I hope you’ll continue to grow <3 mwah !

@yuukimiyas : I’ve always looked up to you as one of my favourite writers so imagine my surprise when you followed me !! :0 your posts always make me rlly happy !! :D

@chuuyrr : I’ve always loved ur chuuya’s fics and they’re just so ??????? they’re my meal for three times a day Frfr !! :3

@sinmalssimp : raven, I’m really proud of you for being able to be so strong <3 you’re going amazing and I hope you’ll have a amazing life !!

@yuutx : thank u for being my mutal for so so long as well !!!!! you’re such a nice and kind person and you’re like a younger sister to me <3

@gojoath : cella !! omfg ur one of the people who managed to get me back into jujutsu kaisen T^T ur works r absolutely gorgeous and ur yuta series ?!?!???? chef’s kiss -///-

@vrachis : one of my og mutals ever since I started tumblr ! :3 also thank u for getting me into v tubers cause now im watching their streams whenever I can LMAO

@aureatchi : you and red are never ever going to beat the twin allegations tbh, even the abilities u suggested to me were the same so :3 and even ur names are similar :0 anyways ! rev, thank u for being my mutal !! you’re genuinely so so so nice and T^T ur like a younger sister to me as well <3

@cheriiyaya : red, you’re just like reverie so it’s like copy and paste except that youre more chaotic and I love your energy !!! i always laugh whenever I see ur url cause of that meme- fjdjjsjskjsj lol but you’re a younger sister too so !!! :D but yeah, I loved having convos with u !! you’re such a easy perosn to ramble to and thank you for listening to my thoughts that make no sense whatsoever !!

@rusmii : ruru !! firstly !! congratulations on 600+ honey !! you’re almost there to 1k aahhh !! we haven’t talked much but you’re such a nice person as well :(

@culturity : kady, ur such a sweetheart tbh and I always feel happy whenever I see ur posts on my dash <3 I hope that everything goes well for you in life cause you deserve it !!

@m0uchie : EMI !! you’re rlly nice and I light up whenever I see u in my inbox or notifs sjsjsbsksjjssjs I rlly wished we talked more tbh :( but we still had fun together <3

@riiwrites : riri you’re one of the people I’m closest to on tumblr and I’m so so happy I got to meet such a amazing and kind person as u !! thank u sm for everything honey !!

@beasalmeh : okay !! you’re a rlly chaotic and goofy person that I love to talk to !! seeing your messages always make my day and it’s so fun to have a conversation with you :D

@dazaisslave : ichika, you’re such a sweet friend to me and I dont and never did deserve someone like you :( thank u for everything <3

for the other mutals I didn’t add cause I’m a lazy fuck or we didn’t talk much or just became mutals so I don’t know anything abt u or we are mutals but we haven’t talked in a long time so it would be awkward + my dear followers : thank you as well ! all of you helped me in my growth as cringy as it sounds lmao sibdjshsjsjdj I could never ever have gotten to 100+ followers without u guys and I’m genuinely gonna miss u guys so fucking much :(

— ur dearest rua <3

also u guys, surprise announcement I’m not single anymore <: ur girl rua got a bf !!!!!! ahem !! but yeah !! hehe :3 I fulfilled one of my dreams !!!!!!! :D I CAN FINALLY TELL MY FRIENDS IM SOMEONE WHO GETS BITCHES 😍 /j

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[officialgleamstar]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thank u for the tag @cerealmonster15 :] sorry for forcing you into tagging me and then FORGETTING TO DO IT ONCE I GOT OFF WORK but insomnia is killing me tonight sooo tag game time :3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

127 fics on my account, and then 130 anonymous fics, and two? maybe three? orphaned fics lol

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

826,251! getting close to 1 mil... maybe that should be a writing goal for this year :0

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently its oxventure all the way down, baby bfdjgfdhhj i have a few dndads fics im still working on though, and i have an aftg fic im working on for an event right now as well! i need to... make sure i finish that on time, actually

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

they aaare mostly anonymous LOL but! for fics i list, these ones. the way that three of these are from 2017 and 2018... i know that makes sense because theyve had more time to accumulate kudos and also are for more popular fandoms but :') man 1. Cleaning Up - Haikyuu!! - 908 kudos 2. heart under your sleeve - 3rd Life - 616 kudos 3. four am - All For the Game - 502 kudos 4. his soul - Empires SMP, 3rd Life - 391 kudos 5. "Are you dense, or do you just not know how to say no?" - All For the Game - 288 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes i do!!! im bad at it, but i do :D

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

just like cereal, i dont write much angst, but probably you know i love you, right? or these feelings, they're not gone :0

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of my fics are disgustingly sweet and sappy so its hard to judge

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have a few times but not enough to be a trend, lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yeah lol if i cant write pet play and/or breeding kink i wither up and die. who said that

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

just once! (can you kiss me more) absolutely beloved

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

two times that i know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah lol someone translated a handful of my old rpf fics into russian :]

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah, but never a finished fic

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

you simply cannot make me choose. you cant make me choose. please.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Divorced Dad Rock Mix you are everything to me but chapter 3 thru 6 are probably never seeing the light of day

16. What are your writing strengths?

im really good at telling a compelling story in a very small amount of word :] also, SPEED WRITING. i can write very quickly when i put my mind to it!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

im so awful at ending fics just absolutely dogshit at it

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

its . writing dialogue in another language, i guess? lol its fine

19. First fandom you wrote for?

pokemon or harry potter i think. maybe my little pony or minecraft. or world of warcraft but i think that was later? id have to dig through my deviantart and i dont feel like it lol

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

god that is a hard question to answer, i love all of my fics a lot bfdgfjhdbghjd i think... the first fic to come to mind was, naturally, my beloved your love is tried and true-blue. normscary <333 AND my glennry soulmate fic as well, so where do we begin? hmmm... the johnny spells thing comes from a very personal space, and its a fic that i thought about for literal years, so its very near and dear to me in that sense as well. and on our dates, it's never daytime is a super self-indulgent fic that i reread a lot because its so perfectly targeted at myself lol same thing for fall (back) in and i love mine, mine, mine for more recent examples. uh. okay thats a lot of rambling LOL those i guess :3

tagging: hmmmmm @bidoofenergy and @cookies-over-yonder i think!!! have fun guys

[brandogenius]

hihihi!!! okay so hear me out i'm a barista so i had lots of thoughts and delusions about jb and barista!reader...

when jb comes in, reader definitely says the order at the same time as jb and smiles every time they accidentally talk in sync and jb is grinning and apologizing for talking over her and lowkey panicking while reader is writing her order on the cup and some doodles

i know DAMN WELL julien is giving hella tips, at my job our cash tips are split evenly between baristas so i just have the feeling jb is counting the visible baristas and doing the math for how much of a tip exactly she needs to give all together for reader to get the tip jb wants to give her (does that make sense??) + reader is always shocked at how big of a tip julien gives

reader giving her the cute/silly steam stickers that go on the hot drink lids + julien definitely has a little collection in her car on some random paper of every single one she gets (at my job rn we have valentines stickers and they're like conversation hearts with words on them...im imagining reader trying to shoot her shot and putting a sticker on her cup that say 'kiss me' or 'ur cute' or something similar and julien is about to frame this sticker on her wall)

after a certain amount of time (assuming the shop doesn't ask for names) reader learns juliens name and when jb comes in with the boys reader greets her by name and phoebe and lucy are like :0 and juliens grinning walking up to the counter with them and she's like "hiiii 😇🥰"

when there's a rude customer and julien happens to be there she stops reader when they bring her drink be she sees how overwhelmed and frustrated they are and she apologizes for the customer being rude and says something super nice about how important customer services jobs are and how employees deserve sm more than they usually get from those jobs (like that interview she had talking about how she doesn't tell waiters when her order is wrong esp if she can see they're stressed out) and accidentally starts rambling with her big girl words and reader is barely taking in what she's saying but is also on the verge of tears at how sweet jb is

julien comes in and orders her drink but orders something to bring to lucy or someone and reader is like "oh?" and jb is so quick to reassure that it's for her FRIEND not ANYONE in particular just her BESTEST BUD

could you imagine how cute it'd be if the place had themed drinks and stuff for pride month and jb is asking reader about said pride specials and reader is so excited about it all and julien is silently taking notes making sure reader is in fact gay and not an extremely passionate ally

one of these days jb comes in and it's not busy at all so reader and julien get to chit chat about random stuff until she has to actually leave so julien orders and reader writes her number on the back of the cup and says 'text me! :D' or something cute that tells julien she wants to keep talking and julien doesn't even realize bc the writing was facing away from her and when she does notice there's more on the cup than usual she like dies on the spot

OKAY IM DONE I COULD GO ON FOR FOREVER IM SORRY FOR YAPPING SO MUCH AHHH i just LOVE this hc and i can make it sososo accurate as a barista

-🪷

LOTUS ANON!!! THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVE THIS SO MUCH AHHH!

learning juliens name because they talk so much and reader knows her order like at the beginning it might’ve been like “hey it’s ice latte girl, how are you?” to knowing exactly what time jb comes in she doesn’t even need to wait because you have the coffee just made by the time she walks in

reader listening to her ramble about customer service and the use of big words intrigues them, reader is like… woah

reader who started to draw little hearts on juliens cup 😭 when jb orders something for lucy and reader stops her drawings like “shit shit shit” and jb catching on like NO WAIT IM SINGLE!! bit of angst to add but maybe the next few times reader doesn’t draw any doodles on jbs cup and she misses them until jb is like “you don’t doodle anymore :(“ and readers like “sorry - i didn’t know if i was coming off as weird or something”

STOPPPPP!!! brownie points if reader has a lesbian cup in the corner with their own drink and julien looks at it like 👀 👀

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH TELL ME MORE IM ADDING THIS TO THE COFFEE SHOP AU!!!

[justletmereadmycomics]

CW for descriptive speaking about body horror, blood, and overall lack of grammar tl;dr the average painful-turning-into-a-monster-transformation-sequence media isn't whumpy enough and people need to dive more into shit like turning into merfolk and mutating into weird hybrids that are in the uncanny valley of "feels like my body but not" also please note that this is all just my opinion and experience in media consumption and you are free enjoy what you like; im just bored and felt like rambling with 0 grammar or punctuation today.

hey guys I like seeing people go through intense painful physical transformations with an affect on their mental state that either makes them scared of them selves or forces them to do horrible things that also scare them and can I just say that werewolves are so underwhelming like yeah sure you get taller and turn into a buff ass furry boo hoo go cry about it like most of the time you're not even aware and it only lasts for a fucking night

give me shit like turning into a siren/merperson where they have to feel themself molting and their skin squeezing on their body as scales start to grow and they start mindlessly scratching every where from the pain when uh oh your legs are failing but you can't think about that now until whoopsie daisy your lower limbs are melting together and your pants are magically whooshed away once you're past the nakey parts also did I mention the wonderful possibility of growing fins everywhere and experiencing those tear through your muscles and skin whilst they grow on your back and arms and already painful and foreign feeling tail and also your vocal cords changing to be able to produce siren song shit in a way that makes your throat feel like its being mauled from the inside out oh yeah and also having your eyes fall out and regrown wouldn't that be a fun idea anyways vampires are about the same except a little better than werewolves bc they at least have the possibility of dealing with "the hunger" tm and way more weaknesses that can make them miserable like not being able to be in the sun or eat food anymore bc your body can't handle it one of the better examples ive seen is the one in ROTTMNT: The Movie, where (be warned of spoilers) characters are "possessed", so to speak, and this shit goes on

its a very good movie, highly recommend it (the sereis has two seasons, and I haven't found the movie off of Netflix) also blood and struggling to adjust to a now permanent mental impairment/disadvantage/damage in a sense of "you're not human anymore and so you now have to deal with [blank] thought processes" (eg. someone gaining dragon shit would grow an affinity to hoarding things, not noticing such until their home is incredibly cluttered with piles of shiny items and hating themself for doing something so "inhuman")

things that ive seen that fall in the good transformation category are: demons* birds work most of the time, but you have to give them a beak and shit. also the wings can't just grow out of them painlessly.** most fantasy based anthros, really.*** most mutations seen in TMNT shows (that shits known to be painful bc it alters your DNA mostly through science rather than the normal mystics) bugs *only horns and a tail? weak. give 'em goofy legs and a snout or some shit, spin in a few animal traits just for fun. mental side effects that are nice for these guys tend to be a sudden lust for darkness (or just a sudden intense lust) **I recommend something like their arms falling off, OR something similar to the process in Haibane Renmei (tw for blood and minor body horror). An alternate option that I haven't seen would be to have the arms morph into wings themselves, but none of that grow feathers and get little longer bullshit. Character should feel their bones changing, the flesh forming to create a new limb and feathers piercing their skin like needles. Yes feathers are regularly soft, but imagine having a hundreds of tiny pinprick like things poking out of you and getting longer.

***this does not include fairies and unicorns. The only acceptation for these is character having weird magic fluxes and this becoming an effect of such. for example, if character is becoming a fairy, they will feel themself being compressed as wings either grow from their back or are summoned in a blast of magic that basically cuts them open where the wings "attach" so to speak.

[tojisun]

hey sunsun i was jus wondering if u had any tips for writing smut n fluff? i wanna get into writing fanfic but idk im scared <3

hii omg im sorry for the late reply!!

writing smut was such a struggle for me omg, i just started writing full blown smut (penetration n allat) this year!! i used to just dance around it or extend foreplay and build it up sm that the fucking (p in v) just gets insinuated or smthn lolol i think what truly helped me get over that uhhhhh hurdle (?) is realizing fic-smut doesnt have to be all that accurate to irl sex. for me, its about passion and tension and action. so i focused on writing how a character would feel when their kinks are played out and i also realized that i always describe how hands worked (not just fingering but gripping his arms, fisting at the shits, clawing at his back, etc.) and things that arent just cock n pussy :'D

FLUFF rahhhh i love fluff. um i think my big thing is to ig write about how a scene feels than what is happening? does that make sense :0 like i think even if it's all mundanity, fluff could be poured into it by talking about how a character visualizes it. for example for me, i write sm about quiet mornings (i checked my mlist and wow i've probably written handful of this trope heheweh) and it's, well, in face value these scenes are slow or they dont do much, but when i talk about how these mornings ground simon and how they really feel make him feel how he's back home or how these type of mornings give sm comfort to toji (who has never known such quiet and patient love), then the mood shifts ykyk?

does this make sense aahhhhhhhh i think im just rambling atp and for that, im so sorry

but yea! i understand the anxiousness that comes when writing and even know how intimidating it is to publish ur works, but i promise u writing is so fun. thank u sm for coming to me to ask for tips and i hope that these (even amidst the rambles) helped even just a bit. take care my love and happy writing <33

[merakiui]

bro that last ask thing u reblogged.. 😈😈

1- SEAGLASS im a little asshole and love to read fics where the reader is shared ✌️✌️ SUE ME seaglass was the first fic i ever read from u too so its like omg the perfect pick....

8- ur writing style is so goddamn sophisticated 😭😭 every word feels very purposeful if that makes sense? my writing (and most yan x reader fics i find on tumblr for the characters im into) is very simple and verb-focused for comedy's sake so whenever i find an author who uses descriptive, specific adjectives and themes im like 🗣📢 SAY IT LOUDER!!! WE LOVE WELL-CRAFTED, ARTIST FANFICTION!!!! u literally eat up every fic and even just ramblings abt ideas bc u go ham with descriptive words and imagery [dreamy sigh] lovely!

9- seaglass 2 BAHAHAHAHA im sitting on the sidelines reading ur jade sk posts and shit like "sooo good... well back to my merakiui roots" and re-read seaglass again BAHAHAHA anytime u post anything with floyd in it tho im like 🤤🤤 like theres no question as to whether or not im gonna drop everything and read it every time when u post new floyd stuff ykwim they go crazy

13- kinda BAHAHAHA i have a friend who found my old yan writing blog bc i ACCIDENTALLY REBLOGGED ONE OF UR FICS FROM MY REBLOG ON THE YAN ACCOUNT 💀💀 so not technically but in my heart yes....

ANYWAY i think ur fr one of the best writers on yan tumblr if not just in general bro 😭😭😭 continue eating it up SLAYY! ❤️

(ask game)

CHIPPPPPPP AAAAAAAAAA SENDING YOU A DOZEN HUGS AND KISSES WAAAAAAAA >w< you're too kind.... T_T <3

SEA GLASS YES.... >:) my first ever twst fic and the beginning of my spiral into Octavinelle hell. 😌 I'm so happy you like that fic so much!! I'm also weak for fics where the reader is shared and Octavinelle is such a fun group to write for with that dynamic!!!!!

ALSO ALSO!!!! My writing... Sophisticated?!?!?!?! Σ(°ロ°) I'm so flattered omg,,,, thank you for saying so!!!! I always do my best to eat up every prompt and concept, so I'm pleased it shows in my writing and overall style!! >0< if I don't describe even the smallest of details in a story or rambling, I will go crazy. orz I love love love writing descriptions so much.

The merakiui roots... PLEASE LOL I LOVE THAT!!! Thank you for looking forward to Sea Glass's sequel hehe!! I'm certain it will be a banger!!! >:D and thank you for liking my Floyd stuff!!!! He's so fun to write for. I go so feral for him,,,, he's on my mind all the time. I just love how Floyd he is. OTL so unhinged and silly and true to himself at all times. I'm honored you would be willing to read the Floyd posts right away aaaaaa!!! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

OMG BEING FOUND FROM THE REBLOG??? T_T in my heart I will count it. ;;;; if it was an Octavinelle fic, I hope your friend enjoyed the fish LOLLLL. >:) everyone deserves to feast upon a delicious seafood buffet. (˘ ˘ ˘)

Truly, thank you so so so so SO SO SO MUCH for your sweet words and praise!!!!!! 💖💖💖 I'm happy you can consider me a good writer and that you can enjoy my work! I will continue to slay and devour!!! No crumbs will be left!!!! (`･ω･´)ゞ this is a merakiui promise!!!!!!!

[tiredgoodomensfan]

GOS2 opening title analysis

spoilers ig?? idk

AAAAA S2 CONTENT YIPEEE

so, again, this is gonna be long, rambling, and will prolly make 0 sense so stick with me here I'm feeling a lot of feelings. im gonna go thru each thing in as much depth as possible so buckle up, this is gonna be like twice the size of my poster + hillywood dissection.

OK THE WAY CROWLEY LITERALLY CRAWLED UP FROM HELL TO MEET W AZ IS LIKE :((( and like on their way out from the tunnel thing I saw like a figure with wings?? I reckon it might be Micheal (the angel not the sheen) but I'm not 100% sure. whoever it is, they're holding a box or smth?? so do with that what you will idk

Im pretty convinced we might be getting Moses stuff, cuz the shining light at the top of the hill? seems like mt siani (sianai? idk) and the fact we haven't seen that type of light before and Moses is supposesdly the only person to have a direct face-to-face interaction with god makes me think we'll be getting stuff from that era (catholic upbringing coming in handy for knowing this stuff) ALTHOUGH, there are lots of animals, and they seem to be like in pairs as well?? so maybe more Noah and the arc? which like MAYBE ALL THE FANFICS ABT THEM COMFORATING EACH OTHER ON THE ARC WILL COME TRUE??? YIPEE!!

ok everything bursting into flames is a lil random but after a while of thinking, maybe sodom and gamora? (idk how to spell that either) which like, MORE SANDALPHON?? Don't get me wrong, hate the guy, he's awful and creepy, but he's SUCH a good villain. the actor doesn't get enough props online for how well he plays him. sandalphon had like 3, maybe 4 mins of screen time in s1? and from that, he's become one of the most HATED characters in the entire fandom. That is just like, wow, well done, I hate the character you play, but that's because your acting is amazing. ANYWAYS, sodom and gamora. aziraphales gonna be having some *feelings* about that, because why would heaven hurt all those people? even if they were sinners? similar to noahs arc situation with Crowley giving the most comfort this time <3

WOOOO GOTHIC SHIT!! the pickled herring cart makes a return and it is as confusing as ever. they're in a graveyard, so that's fun times. maybe more hell? cuz that's where they met up when the antichrist got delivered. anyways, does anyone know the period this is meant to be in? it's gone out of my head. anyways, I tried looking up pickled herring carts to see if they had any significance thru history but na. like they were there, and popular, but no, no huge significance. ALSO, in the graveyard, they go past a gravestone with 'every day' written on it??? girl wtf does that mean?? the running theories I have so far are that it's either like, the death of the everyday, meaning that what they used to do (hate each other??) isnt.. happening anymore?? idk?? or that it's just Neil being edgy and emo. my bets on the latter (love u mr. gaiman <3) ALSO ALSO OH MY FUCKING GOD?? Another one of the gravestones says JANE AUSTEN ON IT!! ARE WE GETTING JANE AUSTEN CONTENT??? OMFG??? YIPPEE!! maybe we'll get to see where az gets some of his first editions from :D aslo rq, religious imagery in the background, an angel carrying a cross, more heaven looming over Az?? ALSO HOLY SHIT?? I just accidentally paused it at onde of the graves and i swear it says 'here lies *insert another couple words here* BEELZEBUB?? HUHHH?? is that gonna be the explination for beelzebubs new corparation?? but that wouldnt make any sense?? idk atp but that gravestone DEFFIENTLY SAYS BEELZEBUB

(if you think this is long pls know we're 22 seconds into a 1:44 video, i want lying when I said this was gonna be BEEFY)

SO. HELL. WOOO!! more hell content which could go one of three ways. either we get more goofy Crowley giving more presentations, CAN I GET A WAHOO?? or we get him being given more assignments and we get more of an idea of the whole structure of hell, uncomfortableness but nothing horrendous. OR ALL THE ANGST FICS COME TRUE AND WE SEE CROLWEY GETTING BEAT INTO A PULP BY HIS SUPERIORS!!! maybe all three! can't wait to see :D but as much as my angst-craving self would love to see the last one, I think the reality is it's gonna be the first two. it looks like there's a desk and office chairs, so we'll probably be getting scenes that are like the equivalent to what we see of aziraphale and the archangels in s1

so we already knew we were getting more ww2 scenes but.. MORE WW2 SCENES WAHOO!! maybe we're getting post-church scenes? tender love confessions in the back of the Bentley? or maybe angst? maybe edosian orchids 901s (I LOVE THEM SM) fic about Crowley having a breakdown after being forced to report on the horrors of war will come true? or maybe one of them has to conscript cuz... idk dude just cuz. The bomber plane makes me think of the blitz so maybe Crowley is comforting Azi while they hide from the bombs in the shop? whatever happens, ill love it :D

a quick google told me fuck all about the ladies of camelot, just that theyre often overshadowed by the guys. WHICH LIKE WTF?? anyways, apparently its like king arthur times, so maybe we see the arrangement being born?? YIPEE. other then that, they seem to be like a dance group? so like, idk? could be suppourting acts maybe? could the merlin fandom help with this maybe? whats goin on with the ladies of Camelot my dudes.

MAGIC AZIRAPHLE MAGIC AZIRPAHLE MAIGIC AHVDSAKJ YAY!! I love the idea of aziraphale pulling a snake from his hat as part of the act and Crowley pretending to be pissed but internally freaking the fuck out because 'HOLY SHIT HES HOLDING ME HES HOLDING ME HES SO SOFT WHAT THE FUCK'

I HAVE. SO MANY. THOUGHTS. ON. SPACE. SO, SO HEAR ME OUT RIGHT, SO, the only time space has been mentioned really is when Crowley was talking abt how he made certain planets and the Alpha Centauri stuff. SO MAYBE WE'LL BE GETTING SOME PRE-FALL CROWLEY?? cuz like, the only thing close to space is heaven, but that's meant to be transcendent, and by definition exists outside of space and time. SO THEREFORE, PRE-FALL CROWLEY?? PLEASE?? NEIL IM BEGGING, IM ON MY KNEES, PLEASE!!

the... the hearts.. the love hearts.. the.. the hearts falling from the sky when they.. when the.. when... DNCBKHFVYEWIQUKLDWHJNX I'm feeling such normal feelings rn haha. anyways they're in love and :D the way they're sat on the roof together as well? like aw :( the jukebox and the vinyls (are those vinyls?) make me think more 60's content? and the Bentley as well? friendly reminder that Crowley goes too fast for him!! maybe we'll see him drinking himself into oblivion after he gets brutally rejected by Az :D oo or maybe him contemplating offing himself with the holy water! or maybe more lighthearted stuff, like the discovery of the queen curse :)

(also OO ninas shop!)

the lifts make me think more heaven content, which we knew was happening anyway but I'm thinking more Az giving reports and getting verbally abused and humiliated :D also, the steam makes me think industrial revolution for some reason? idk tho

THE ARRIVAL. is that the title for ep 1? Probably. but on the posters there's like a locked box? (getting fnaf 4 flashbacks) i've no clue what that means, like at all. but its prolly smth!

and thats it! this will probably be updated and edited, but these are all my thoughts as of the day it was released.

if you read this, there must be smth wrong with you mentally, but me too, me too. give me any thoughts you might have, ill be really interested to hear them! (these guys have consumed my brain)

friendly reminder that it'll be quiet, gentle, and romantic. and they like holding hands!

[furiousgoldfish]

Do you have any advice for how to manage stress and like constant fear? Or maybe advice about what I should do? (Tw suicide, not mine) My younger sister is severely suicidal and depressed and I've been talking to her every night and sleeping on her floor to stop her from killing herself and I keep talking to my parents about how she needs to go to therapy but they aren't doing anything and they haven't for over a year. My mom told me that it's not my place to decide what's best for my sister. And my dad said that because I'm only 17 I don't know anything about this but I've begged them like five or six times and they still don't believe me. My mom insists I'm being over dramatic and it's my fault that her and my dad talking to my younger sister like 1 time didn't make it better. But they won't talk to my sister at all if I don't or help her and my younger sister has tried to attempt before so I think we need to talk to her more than once? I guess It seems pretty clear to me that my younger sister should go to therapy but maybe I'm thinking about this wrong? Idk. Um. So I guess I just feel really overwhelmed because I've tried asking my siblings for help about my sister and one of my sister's said they wish my younger sister had never been born so we wouldn't have to deal with this (which made it pretty clear she doesn't want to help. Also she's done exactly 0 things to help she just gets inconvenienced by the very idea she might have to and things won't revolve around her problems for like 2 seconds) and my oldest sister who's married and moved out I talked with but now she wont do anything anymore because my parents told her to back off after my mom went on a huge spiel about how I'm over dramatic and blowing things out of porportion and my oldest sister has no right to do anything because she doesn't have legal custody. I don't know. My entire family talks to me about their stress and worries and concerns and I shouldn't be so upset about my younger sister cause I'm used to it but I'm scared all the time that the moment I fall asleep she's actually going to hurt herself so I try to stay up all night to listen for her and I just don't know how to manage the stress and get her help. My parents homeschool us and I don't get to leave the house by myself cause my mom is convinced I'll get murdered. So idk who to talk to or how or even if I should. I don't think this is really abuse, cause my parents haven't hit us and I don't really fit the criteria for emotional abuse either according to your masterlist, (I mean my sister has hit me a few times (not the one moved out) but siblings are different) but idk. It's still trauma? Maybe. Unless it's not? I don't know. Maybe my mom is right. Sorry if this is rambly and weird im just really tired.

Hey, from what I'm reading here, you're the entire's family emotional support, you take all of the stress and complaints from everyone, you alone are responsible for your sister's continuation of life, and you are not even allowed to leave the house, because your mom is worried you'll get killed? And you got hit, but you don't think that was serious?

There is so much stress on you, I'm worried that you might get pushed under the edge. I can sense your utter desperation in saving your sister's life, and that comes from a place of deep compassion, concern, and kinship with your family member. I can tell you'd do anything to save her, and you fear that if she dies, it will be your fault.

But it can't be. Because you alone cannot be responsible for what others do. You've already done everything. You've asked every other person for help, you've raised the alarm, you've been trying to help her, you can't even sleep at night. It cannot be expected of you to go to these lengths, be in this amount of stress, for prolonged amounts of time, even when someone's life is in question. You are not a suicide line, you're not an institution that provides support and watch over people who might do something to themselves, you're not in control.

I believe you're under too much stress and that nobody has any compassion for what you're going through. If even one person cared, they would have helped your sister and watched over her for you. They would have shared the responsibility of saving her and wouldn't make you the sole person responsible. If your sister does, in the worst case scenario, die, you will be the only one who isn't responsible, who's already done everything to prevent it. The fault will be on everyone else.

You seem to be in a prolonged crisis, and I'm not actually equipped to help someone in a crisis like this, so I can't tell you what to do - or rather, I think you've done enough. You've been through enough stress, enough apathy, enough pain. You've been left alone to suffer through this stress, even though you've expressed how scared and anxious you are, and asked for help.

You being kept inside the house at all times, is a form of physical abuse, I should have added it to the checklists - it's a form of violence to restrict your movements. It doesn't make any sense that you will be killed if you step out, when everyone else can walk freely. You are being parentified, and used as an emotional resource, instead of cared for and raised as a loved and nurtured child.

This list has a category of 'parentification', I hope you can find some resources there. I believe you are being abused, and you were taught that it doesn't matter if it happens to you.

I hope you manage to get some sleep. I'm so sorry you were put into this situation, you are not responsible for this. Your parents should be taking this stress, not you. You cannot be responsible for anyone's continuation of life, and being put in a situation where it's expected of you, will break you. This is not on you.

[pup-pee]

OOHHH do you think they're opposites?? I'm trying to think about their personalities rn... I can't decide. I do think their voice/sense of humour is the same tho:0 and it does depend what version of batman we're talking about

tldr; i have no idea if u meant techno or c!techno bc i meant c!techno anyways c!techno can b batman, i dont think batman can b c!techno

theres a lot kf rambling below

SO IN FAIRNESS!! again have not seen a lore stream in YRS & ALSO most of the batman im reading is from the 90s so like thats a time an era

so similarly!!! they do have like similar actions? theyre both way more violent than the rest bc they believe its the only way 2 get through ALTHOUGH they try 2 only use it when necessary

like brrr but uhh they also have vry different ideals? c!techno SRRY IM TALKING ABOUT CANON I DIDNT LIKE DIFFERENTIATE @ ALL c!techno has a vry different view of how 2 igg “make peace” than batman does

like batman wants 2 established a higher authority 2 control but hes trying rlly hard 4 them not 2 b corrupt like so hard god hes trying & techno,,,,is like the opposite of that

while i said they both dont kill if necessary, techno still WILL kill & yk thats like kinda hehhhhhhhhhh like mayb a big moral line but also EVERY1 IN DSMP was ready 2 kill so i dont think this point means anyyythingg

THE THE HUMOR THO? i can see it. kinda? i feel like this is embarrassing 2 say but i dont think batman would b the 2nd worse thing 2 ha

MAYBE IM LOOKING @ THIS WRONG BC techno as batman fits way more???? 4 some reason???? like jesus im rambling okHHHHHH

c!techno as batman makes sense

batman as c!techno does not,,,,4 some reason

i literally wrote all this 2 explain that i feel stupid ok welp whatever

i rlly dont read batman LIKE I RLLY DONT KNFACT I TRY 2 AVOID BATMAN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE like out of personal preference of???? idk

like im lretty sure the last thing i read was him running away 2 go think & brood alone while his sons worried back home lol

shit if ur talking about like movie batman or any more modern take then i think ur right

im just stuck jn this time whefe hes still HEAVILY grieving & its not a rlly good look skjfkskgkkgk

this is y i dont do essay/analysis type stuff i usualky regret what i write bc im thinking but dont go back bc i think the thought process is fun,,,but its long skjfks

my dumbasbrain bing like hava yes if im talking about techno its gonna b the c!techno w/out specifying wooooooo like wth

listen i havnt had 2 Differentiate  in SOO LONG AAHHH yeah im not fixing thag word brrr