#this might not make sense entirely But

[fantasycorrupted-a]

actually, screw it. plot twist, a lot of Fíann's life was a fabricated lie and that's not even her real name. or her real self.

At least not unless you believe that there are different versions of you and that timetravel is possible.

And Flyn Farrell had been, more or less, forced to adopt this belief as a part of her truth.

Not that it was entirely false, of course. Timetravel was possible. The little compass watch that had taken her to the pirate ages, the device that she - or rather Fíann - had found, was real. Fíann Foley wasn't. Flyn Farrell, yes, but not Fíann. Not entirely.

Driven by her year-old interest and experience in playing music and video games, Flyn applied for work as a music composer (and later writer and concept artist) at a video game company which, much later, turned out to have shady reputation. It would be the first time she'd put her studies to more serious use... and it was nothing like designing a board game, which had been what she had been doing for a living until then. Aside from the martial arts lessons.

She had worked at a few smaller companies like that before. Smaller teams, projects that were great yet did not become the next hot famous thing everyone was seeking - but the games were memorable, and the teams were happy with that. Sure, she did get almost uncannily focused and was sometimes so invested in her work that her life stayed on the back burner, but that was good. It meant she liked her job and cared about it. Right?

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple". And that was not all of it. The plan to replace pre-existing supernatural beings with fake ones - as well as some humans who were being too loud and uncomfortable for the government to deal with - had been in motion for a few years by the time Flyn had been collecting experience at work (and not just in Ireland, too, but, slowly, across the whole world). She had gone through life with just the occasional swim, as a mermaid, and she had put most (but not all) of her suspicions to sleep. She was one of the merfolk that slipped through. And not only because there were few who could break her curse of immortality, if it was a curse at all.

Merrick Murchadh was real, as well as their relationship, their friends (some of which would later take his ex-girlfriend's side, and some would stay), and Flyn's mental illnesses. Unfortunately, that part was very much real. Granted, Merrick was under a different name from the one he had in Flyn's game - naturally, much like Flyn herself... and with a far more reputable occupation than lying about spending his rich parents' money (his father was a businessesman, though he had made Merrick follow a path similar to Flyn's) - but he was real, just like Flyn and her friends themselves, and just as insane as he had been in Flyn's game. His company was one of the biggest competitors to the one Flyn worked at, and, claiming falsely that she and her colleagues had stolen an idea originally theirs, Merrick was motivated to bring her down.

In Flyn's game, „Merrick“’s character ended up dead if the players chose the supposedly "better" ending between the two. In real life - similar to the worse ending - he was alive, and alive at a time when VR was being taken to a new level. Some video games and their results now affected real life as well; two such games were one Flyn had been inspired by and the one she had been working on, such a large portion of her game inspired by what her alternate self Fíann Foley had experienced that the lines between what was a part of real life and what was a part of the game were blurred. Aside from doing nothing of true importance, which he was scarily good at, Merrick was an assistant to the head of a company that sold artificial lives and experiences - holidays to places that could be far more expensive if actually experienced in real life, dates for people who thought themselves ugly and many other sorts of, well, fake realities - repackaged in the form of games, of course with some adventure and romance and whatnot sprinkled in, and what both of them were ultimately fighting for was to turn their projects into real, actual, enjoyable games.

That was, until the games bled into reality - until reality bled into the games.

[ruporas]

need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)

[wasyago]

squeaky_toy_sound_effect.mp4

[abstractfrog]

THE GLORIA SCOTT - part 2, and a follow up to my comic for the first half of this scene! thanks sm to @crashingmeteorz for allowing me to source validation for my whimsical cosmic approach to this moment <3

[fifthnailinstevesbat]

after the events of season 4, steve just wanting SO BADLY to be friends with eddie. just LOVING the idea of them getting closer and having eddie as a friend because hell yeah! a close male friendship with someone that is actually my age, and who i don’t have a weird history with involving bruised eyes and love triangles? count me IN! and eddie is FUN, he is actually hilarious! the way they share the same glances of understanding when dustin is being an absolute shit head, rambling on and on about some obscure topic, expecting everyone to always be on the exact same page as him. of course. and, although steve suspects that eddie actually probably is keeping up with everything dustin says, much better than he ever could, he knows that above it all eddie can appreciate the antics for what they are, and roll his eyes with steve at dustin, i concur, you dustin henderson, are a total butthead.

steve just about junps RIGHT IN to being friends with eddie. hey man, what’cha up to tonight? wanna watch a movie? get drunk, smoke a bit? hey eddie, how have you been, man? he starts calling eddie up on the phone regularly just to check in, shoot the shit, he loves it! he loves having this new friendship with eddie munson and he loves how much the other boy has surprised him with how much he actually enjoys being around him. he’s not a freak, really, well ok maybe he is a little bit, but only in the best ways. he’s kind, thoughtful, and is always looking out for the people he cares about, which is something steve can really respect in a dude. but he’s also so funny? steve never could’ve anticipated just how much eddie has managed to make him genuinely LAUGH over their short amount of time spent together. and he’s really, out there? with the way he presents himself, the way he takes up space with these big THEATRICAL movements, leaving no room for regret or shame or god forbid embarrassment. steve isn’t even sure munson is capable of feeling it at all.

eddie munson is a good dude, and steve could use a bit more of that kind of person around him. he loves all of his friends, the weird little bonded family he’s found himself apart of, and they are all good people, but it never hurts to have afew more added in here and there. it never hurts to know there are more good people out there to find.

so steve is all over eddie, it seems.

at least, from where eddie is standing. nobody else seems as phased as eddie does at this sudden change in steve’s demeanour, in his interest in what eddie munson spends his time doing these days. it seems like, to everyone else, to steve, it’s just a natural progression in their relationship, after being sort of role model figures to the same group of kids, both being the two single dudes, who fought the same monsters together last spring, it seems nobody questions too much that they’d start casually hanging around eachother more. especially since eddie has found himself to fit into his own special spot as one of the group now after it all, after he unwillingly became tangled in this whole upsidedown-superpowers-supernatural-monsters and demons debacle, and tangled quite dramatically at that, the rest of the group that’s been with this since the beginning seemed to find no trouble in taking him in and seeing him as “one of them” now.

so, steve asking eddie to smoke, to watch movies, to go for a drive with no real end destination, it’s not really something that earns them too many double takes. dustin makes a comment or two in the beginning, because steve since when did you like hanging out with eddie? you guys are like so opposite, you don’t like any of the same stuff he does? and steve barely gives a shrug and a dismissive yeah yeah whatever man in response, with a signature eye roll, and dustin had said it seemingly also not too seriously, poking fun at steve wherever he can, not really meaning anything by it, as he fidgets around and rambles in the backseat of steve’s car, eddie riding up front. after that, though, he’s dropped it. it’s never brought up again. part of eddie thinks, too, that dustin would actually be enjoying that his two older friends are becoming friends themselves.

robin seems to be the only other person to look a bit harder at their situation, lingering stares at their interactions, all squinted eyes and eyebrows raised, though from her all this seems to be almost always and only ever directed at steve. eddie’s not sure what to make of that. isn’t he the weird one? i mean, he’s the one that stands out, right? he’s the odd denominator that makes their friendship strange. why would steve harrington want to hang out with Him? HIM? but robin doesn’t spend her time studying eddie to try and search for what about him could possibly have piqued the interest of cherished steven harrington, no, shes always looking at steve. like she’s seeing him differently, almost. eddie doesn’t even think that steve notices it, either, because he doesn’t seem to be questioning or doubting anything odd or strange or out of the ordinary with their newfound time spent together. and maybe, maybe robin is seeing him differently. eddie knows he definitely has been. seeing him more, intensely. deeply. human. seeing the person that steve is, as just steve, not this idealised version of a boy that eddies starting to question ever really even existed at all, or if everyone around him just needed to believe that he did, and who was steve if not happy to comply to the wants of the people around him for who he should be?

eddie likes having steve as his friend, too. don’t get it twisted. he loves how unexpectedly expressive steve is about everything, even really small things. steve LOVES to raise his voice, rest a hand on his popped hip, scolding the kids for something stupid with no real heat or malice behind it. and steve is, like, kinda bitchy too. eddie knew he had the capacity to be a real asshole when he wanted to be, that’s all he knew steve for back in the day, when he was back in high school, hanging around tommy h and the basketball boys, the jocks. eddie would spend his days hearing only whispers and gossip in the hallways of the parties at king steve’s house and the fights king steve had started and won on the court or out in the fields, only ever getting as close as a shove into a locker with the guy at the time, but eddie knew how it could go. he knew all about what steve had done to jonathan, what he’d said to him, the words he’d used. eddie knew it all. he’d seen enough, and been through enough himself, to know how these guys acted in response to guys like him, like jonathan, people who were lower on the social food chain. so, eddie knew about steve’s “mean streak”, if you will, but this kind of snarky bitchiness was something new to him. harrington was almost, sassy, when he wanted to be. it was less so cruel and more just, just sass. if he’s being completely honest it kind of blew eddie away, at first. he thought steve was one of those dull headed jocks who thought with their fists more than their actual brains, but that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. steve’s insults were well thought out, they were FUNNY, he was smart with his words. and silly. oh my god steve harrington could be so fucking silly, real honest to god goofball when the moment called for it, when he felt comfortable enough. eddie had caught on multiple occasions steve mimicking lightsabers to play fight with dustin, or the stupid fucking shit he would do or say just to make robin laugh, singing along to a song playing on the radio with a funny voice.

it was all a little, intoxicating, to watch. eddie didn’t know what gave him the right to be in on this now, to get to see this side of steve and better yet to be at the other end of some of his best qualities. it was fun, all the time they spent together, but there was always something else tugging inside eddie everytime they spent close time together, too. something, he knew steve wasn’t aware of. something he knew steve wasn’t equipped to deal with. something he knew, was him. was him, making things something more than they should be, because, nobody seemed to be questioning that they could become friends, so why ruin that? why disrupt it?

- robin and steve

“Steve.”

“-but then like, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to watch it I just thought, hey, y’know, let’s try something different for a change, but then he- oh my god he honest to god TACKLED ME Robin — I mean, it was so fucking funny and it happened so quick — and all over a fucking Tom Cruise movie-“

“STEVE.” Robin lightly slammed a hand onto the counter. She had been standing behind it for no short of 20 minutes, watching Steve as he paced around, supposed to be stacking tapes onto shelves, but ended up spending the whole time going on and on, and ON, about how movie night went with Eddie last night. She thought she was bad…

Steve jumped, almost running into a shelf and knocking down his hard work, and seemed to snap out of whatever trance he had found himself in after starting to tell Robin a story about something funny Eddie had done last night.

“Shit, sorry. Sorry, what were you saying? Were you- were you saying something?”

To this, Robin just rolls her eyes and let’s out a laugh, “You, sir, are goddamn hopeless.”

“Sorry. How long was I talking for?” Steve wandered his way over to lean his arms onto the counter from the opposite side.

“Oh, I dunno Steve, just about half an HOUR?”

“That is an over exaggeration Robin, it’s only been like-“

“Honestly, man, i’m concerned for you. You are like next level OBSESSED with Eddie. Eddie Munson. You do realise this right??? You are obsessed with him, Steve.”

To this Steve sputters, lazily waving his hands back and forth.

“No, Robin, what the hell are you talking about? I am not OBSESSED. No need to be jealous, alright, Stevie-Boy here can have more than one friend. Your spot in my heart isn’t any less special now that it’s beginning to be shared by another.” He bats his eyelashes up at her, holding both hands over his chest as if to cradle his heart.

“Oh my GOD! You even SOUND LIKE HIM!”, she playfully slaps his shoulder. “Steve. You are obsessed.”

“I am not obsessed! He’s just a really great guy, alright-“

“Blah blah, yep whatever you say, lover boy.” Robin quips, plopping down onto the chair chair infront of their staff computer, turning herself to face it.

“Wha- what? Lover boy? What the hell Robin, that is not- that doesn’t even make any sense!”

She is just smiling at him now, enjoying seeing him spiral like this. Steve let’s out a sigh as he puts his hands on his hips, and shakes his head, looking at her right back.

He opens and closes his mouth afew times, like he’s really thinking about what he wants to say next. Or like he has no idea what to say next, and his brain is not moving fast enough to formulate the next sentence his mouth knows he wants to say. He wasn’t obsessed. That’s not- that’s like- no. No he was not, Robin was just playing around with him, she knew how to get on his nerves. Get him all wound up over little things just to see him react like this.

After a minute or two, Robin realises Steve was not going to reply anytime soon, so she turns fully back toward him. Saving him from his spiral.

“So, what are you’re plans for tonight Steve-O?”

He lets out a chuckle and walks around the counter till he’s behind it with Robin, leaning his back against it so he can stand across from her and face her.

“Well, not really sure. Parents aren’t home, no early shift tomorrow, might drink afew beers, listen to some music, —“

“See what Eddie’s doin?” Robin finishes for him, quirking her eyebrows up and down as she does it.

“Oh shut up!” Steve just laughs and softly throws a tape from the counter at her chest. “As a matter of fact, yeah I will see what he’s up to. Because we are friends now, Robin. Is that a problem? Actually I was also gonna ask you what you were up to after work, too, but you know what after this I’m having second thoughts, I mean, the way you’ve been treating me lately-“

“Oh my god, you are the worst. Yes, I’m free, of course I’ll hang out with you dingus. You and your tweedle dee.”

Steve laughs at this, then tilts his head.

“Wait, does that make me dumb? Tweedle dumb?! That’s how you see me?”

“Yeah it is actually, got a problem?”

“Oh wow, she’s feisty today. Can’t believe you think I’m dumb, Rob’s. When you come knockin’ tonight, do not expect a warm greeting at my front door.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll take my chances.”

- later. steve’s house. to be continued?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Wardrobe Woes

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[daguerreotyping]

Daguerreotype of a tough guy missing an eye, half a pinky—and, perhaps, the subjects of the group portrait that he's holding up to show you, c. 1850s

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 278

You know what I’ve gotten obsessed with and inspired by? Dredge. 

You know what is also fun? Merfolk. What’s even better? Lovecraftian corrupted merfolk. Especially if say, one goes with the Lazarus Waters being a form of ectoplasm. So, in this? Lazarus waters are like lakes, while Amity Park, thanks to the Portal, and the barriers? It is an entire sea. 

There are islands, small areas that were once the tips of buildings that have gathered more landmass around them. There are mangroves, trees not like anything on earth or anywhere else stretching up in canopies dark enough to block out the sun, yet lit by the green waters. 

It goes deep. Mariana Trench deep, despite it being impossible. The GIW have explored for caves or tunnels, they’ve tried to find some sort of explanation, but there isn’t one. 

Now all that ecto? That has an effect on people. They mutate, they change, they adapt. Anywhere else would have been a slow death- something the GIW might have even been counting on. But Amity Park? It was founded by witches, it was the hotspot for the supernatural, even before the Fentonwork Portal. They’ve been dealing with this sort of energy in microdoses from the moment they first began to live in the city in any generation. 

But they begin to adapt. Shift into something… other. Some stay contaminated, clinging to human forms as they form homes on the tiny islands, fishing and farming what they can. Others become Liminal, almost seeming to meld with fish, some similar to ones of the Living and others something just to the left. Similar yes, but not quite… right. And then there are those that have truly melded with the energy of the dead, forms torn asunder by it, ripped apart and made anew by it. 

The first sign back when the barrier was activated, when they could no longer leave and were trapped were the fish in the lake. And now they are the same, with gazes of something Else, with gnashing teeth and a hunger gnawing at where hearts once were. 

But they aren’t monsters. They’re still themselves. Just a little… Other now. 

[a-loose-collection-of-ants]

A true and 100% historically accurate account of Hamilton's first meeting with Andre

+ Bonus Lafayette

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

One of the things that I think makes Narvin such a compelling character is that he’s one of the only actual proper time lords we get to see in the doctor who universe. Like we see plenty of other time lords but they’re either renegades (or close enough), have some sort of importance to time lord society/history as a whole, or just aren’t in enough stories to truly get to know

But narvin is really just some guy, yeah he has a high ranking job, but he’s a time lord who (at least at the beginning of gallifrey) holds the same views about the universe as most other time lords. But unlike many other time lords like this he sticks around long enough for us to get to see him grow and change, we get to see his views/ideas/morality get challenged and the consequences of that

I just really like getting to see a time lord who has little to no knowledge about human life and culture that we also get to know on a deeper level than just a side character or someone who’s only in an episode or two

[canisalbus]

Different Italian anon, but the thing with Tuscan C is that it's pronounced like a very strong H sound, which is extra weird cuz the letter H makes no sound in Italian, normally. It sounds the way Spanish pronounce the J. We say it's "aspirato". So then people from there will say things like Hoha Hola (coca cola), and it's funny. It's also extremely contagious, I got family in Florence, you spend 3 days with them you start doing it too before you even realize.

.

[deoidesign]

vampire and werewolf sitting in a tree

time trav e l i n g

first comes. trying to kill eachother then comes... learning you're his dead ex-lover then comes marriage!

(you can buy the book this scene is from for $15 it's really good. it's the fan favorite of the series!)

[kusanagihaku]

anyway thinking about haku again,,,,,

his artefact is the flute - it lays spirits to rest. the power of artefacts don’t have to have anything with their stigmas (see: ritsu bopping people on the head with his thickass book).

his family-inherited abilities include seeing spirits and ? laying them to rest.

the chancellor uses him as an examiner to test other ghouls’ stigmas. by holding their hands, he’s able to ? ascertain what their abilities are? (what did they do to test stigmas before haku enrolled?)

taiga also said haku can also (try to) resolve curses if he has access to the anomaly. maybe his stigma has something to do with seeing someone’s supernatural history, like their curses (and their demonic pacts) -> understanding how it has affected them -> knowing how to solve it -> actually solving it, if he has the means to do so?

(which makes sense with one of the theories that he used to be in clementia before the clash and his transfer to hotarubi? understanding how something is cursed can help him exorcise things, after all?)

rui also says haku helped him a lot with advice about his curse early on. accumulated knowledge about curses / supernatural stuff might come about as part of his upbringing, or might be part of his stigma?

if haku’s stigma is something along these lines + the theory going around that your stigma is related to your pact, would haku’s demonic pact then be related to being able to understand and resolve curses?

it ties in almost too well with his family business. did he make his pact because he wanted to help those who came to his family’s shrine for help? did he make the pact because he thought it would help his family’s shrine (given that shrines are in the supernatural business)? was it a last ditch effort to prove himself useful to his family / to prove he wasn’t irresponsible?

given how hard he works for hotarubi (he says in bs-log that hotarubi is understaffed + his official profile says he’s often cleaning up other students’ messes), i refuse to believe his family’s view that he’s an irresponsible heir... if he did make the pact to help his family’s shrine… how much more does he have to do / how much harder does he have to work or how much more does he have to give away before he can live up to their expectations?

[danvillecheese]

todays realisation: doof could have been a whole lot less annoying in mml if he tried to just be morally grey rather than good. like he’s already mostly morally grey the only thing he did that was ‘bad’ was trying to be evil. and he wasn’t good at that. he could have just… not tried to be evil. are the dots connecting yet

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 7.5

(not a real chapter, i just decided to keep analyzing until i hit some kind of satisfying conclusion)

this is a special episode of "sam reads capri," in which i comment a bit more on chapter 7 so i can hopefully move forward and evaluate chapter 8 without constantly getting stuck on 7 again.

update after making the additional commentary: holy fuck, i think i solved it. to my satisfaction, at least. i'm really glad i did this.

i have noticed that capri chapters are often self-contained in terms of themes. like, the scenes that are stitched together are done so for a reason. in the case of chapter 7, this is especially interesting. we get the laurent slave stuff, the party, and then the intense lamen argument on the field where auguste died. at first i was almost annoyed that these two situations were put next to each other, because the laurent slave stuff bothered me so much. but then i began to wonder WHY they weren't separated into different chapters. what do they have in common, both thematically and in terms of my personal reading experience? to figure it out, i first have to summarize what happens even each individual scene of the chapter. here are my findings:

chapter 7 scene 1

damen and laurent approach marlas with their combined army. have some super awkward and stunted dialogue about staying in separate apartments. damen has an opportunity to reference a snarky joke, but doesn't. there is so much distance and hesitation, especially compared to their previous dynamic in prince's gambit (they shared a tent like every night and spoke very closely) and even captive prince (they hated each other so they just kinda said whatever the fuck). damen is extremely apprehensive about interacting with laurent in any kind of meaningful or personal way, and is very consciously restraining himself, as well as being restrained by his role as king.

chapter 7 scene 2

inside the fort, damen and laurent are immediately jumpscared by a hallway of slaves. like right in front of my salad. damen, who has already been experiencing massive discomfort and disgust with his own nation's customs, of which he briefly was a victim, continues to turn the slaves down. this is seen as disrespectful, but he's the king of akielos, so it's fine. laurent, meanwhile, seems not even to hesitate before stepping forward and choosing a slave like a kid in a pet shop ("i like that one"). the slave, isander, very obviously looks like damen, which damen notices immediately. laurent asks a little more about the customs of slavery, like the first night, and makes eye contact with damen as he says that he never got to command his previous bed slave (damen). then he asks the slave keeper to teach him how. the keeper says the slave doesn't speak veretian, but "to command any act of service is to honor a slave. the more personal the service, the greater the honor." aka: "he wants you to boss him around." laurent says "really?" and has isander come over, has him kiss his boot how damen had once (reluctantly) done, except isander is totally into it. laurent praises isander, isander's happy, and it makes everyone around them pleased, because the veretian prince is engaging with akielon customs. damen meanwhile has a salty thought about these people being stupid for thinking laurent would actually use the slave as intended, or even respect their customs, because there's no way laurent would actually fuck that guy, or any of these slaves. and damen would be better at undressing laurent anyway. laurent then has to get one more dig in, asking if isander can serve him in the baths, famously (between damen and laurent) a place where damen was embarrassingly turned on by his own attraction to laurent and punished for it. and laurent also says he's pleased by the idea of isander serving him at the party, also something damen did in arles. so basically, laurent just chose a slave that looked exactly like damen, gave him all the praise and affection he didn't give past slave damen and certainly not present king damen, promised a rebound speedrun of their greatest hits at arles in front of damen, all with complete composure and the plausible deniability of diplomacy.

chapter 7 scene 3

damen does not feel like this is a homecoming. the slaves make him uncomfortable. he is acutely aware of laurent in the queen's chambers to his king's chambers, and imagines isander tending to him (but not as well as damen could). he specifically imagines isander being asked to the baths, being flushed with pride to be of service, and then damen curls his hands into fists and thinks about politics instead.

damen arrives at the function to see laurent looking cunty as ever with isander beneath him, being affectionate and shameless and vulnerable. laurent calls damen "brother" as he approaches, knowing damn well that damen is not thinking of brotherly things at the moment. damen feels supremely awkward in his seat next to laurent, without his own slaves, and the awareness of everyone in the room that he'd once been the slave at laurent's feet. one of his generals then questions damen's loyalty to akielos and implies that he's doing favors for laurent because of their sexual relationship. damen just goes straight to denial and dismissal, but laurent decides to show off his cuff and own the fact that he tapped that, damen was his slave, even though damen is the guy who killed his brother. so people really should not fuck with laurent, or question their leadership. it seems to work, and earn him the respect of the generals. food comes out, damen awkwardly feeds himself and the arrangement displeases everyone. damen observes that isander, who is feeding laurent by hand, is clearly in love with him. this, we can assume, is not unrelated to the fact that damen started catching feelings for laurent back in book 2 when he fed laurent by hand. laurent asks a slave to play damen's favorite song, which mentions a guy killing another guy to take his city and has the word "brother" in it. laurent somehow knows this is damen's favorite, perhaps informed by the slaves, who have played it many times for damen before. damen doesn't want to hear it now. damen watches jord tells loyse, aimeric's mom, that he's sorry for her loss, which she gives diplomatic "token attention" despite the very personal nature of the situation. this is similar to damen and laurent's earlier strained interactions. damen then summons jord over for a conversation that basically amounts to jord saying "laurent knew who you were the whole time? damn that's crazy. wild that he really trusted you anyway, because he definitely still did. and he didn't trust anyone else before that, so you must have really been special." damen of course chooses this moment to look over at laurent, who is now basically cuddling isander as isander feeds him grapes, playing with isander's not-unlike-damen's curly hair. damen considers isander to be "a prince's new favorite." everyone starts leaving the party have sex with their slaves (i hate it here) and laurent does the same gesture with isander. damen remembers that time torveld told him, laurent's slave, that he (torveld) was jealous, and would trade places in a heartbeat. damen then excuses himself to chase laurent, but only finds a very confused isander, who says that laurent immediately abandoned him to take a ride once the crowd stopped looking. damen knows that laurent has gone to the field where his brother died to clear his troubled head, and follows.

chapter 7 scene 4

damen arrives at the field. laurent is there, more vulnerable than usual in terms of his clothing. laurent is surprised to see damen there for a split second, but then ices over. damen says that he thought laurent might want a friend, and we know that it's because jord unintentionally reminded damen that he's the only person laurent has let himself get close to since auguste's death, even though he's the guy who killed auguste. damen knows this isn't an easy place for laurent to be and wants to support him, even if it's awkward. he knows nobody else can support laurent, the way he can. laurent, meanwhile, says they can fuck if damen wants, and insists that he knows damen does. that it's all he really wants. laurent tries to goad him into admitting it, and damen tries to talk to laurent about his feelings about auguste. laurent deflects again and damen accepts that they're not having the auguste conversation right now. he earnestly admits that he hasn't been able to stop thinking about having sex with laurent. laurent deflects with a taunt/joke, damen is earnest again, although he does say jokingly that laurent fucked like a virgin. laurent deflects with a taunt/joke again, damen is earnest again again, adding that laurent also fucked like "you knew what you were used to." this particular earnest comment hits on laurent's sexual trauma with his uncle, although damen doesn't know it. laurent tells damen that he (laurent) can't take damen's "particular brand of honesty right now." damen earnestly tries to reassure laurent that he really did like sleeping with him, even if he (laurent) was inexperienced. laurent shoots back that damen would oh my god i get it. wait. i understand the chapter. I UNDERSTAND THE CHAPTER.

laurent says "you like it simple." in response to damen admitting that he liked sleeping with laurent, even though he's not that good at sex. "YOU LIKE IT SIMPLE" MEANS SLAVERY. laurent is referring to the things he's learned about akeilon slaves, things we heard him ask about earlier in the chapter: the first night, the fact that simply giving them a command is to honor them, the fact that they know and can play damen's favorite song by heart. laurent is referring to the simplicity of romancing/loving/fucking a person who has been trained to be romanced, loved, and fucked. a slave who "[knows] what [their masters are] used to." a person who isn't a real person at all. laurent has been observing how this system works all night, and this is him fully expressing his disdain in the most personal way possible. his disdain for akielon slavery, for his assumption of damen's preferences, and in a way, for himself. laurent knows that he could never be an simple option for damen, just how damen spent so much of this chapter holding himself back because knows he isn't an simple option for laurent. nothing about them is simple, in the way things are for a master and a slave. they can't be, and they shouldn't be.

but still... damen and laurent, in this scene, both wish things could be different from how they are. they wish things could be simpler, sweeter, so they could truly fit into each other's lives. but laurent has to be a cold bitch, in order to prove himself in his position. he can't very well say that he and damen wear those cuffs because they belong to each other. and honestly, i don't even think laurent believes that damen wants him, beyond him being a good fuck, as evidenced by the way he greets damen in this scene. being around isander probably made laurent feel insecure, knowing that isander is the kind of person damen fucks for recreation. laurent's proposition was basically a characteristically aggressive, control-freak way for laurent to offer his submission, because he thinks that's all damen really wants. i'm quoting sharp objects again: "sometimes when you let someone do something to you, you're really doing it to them." it's a twisted reflection of the "purity" of akielon slavery, much more similar to the dynamic i think we can assume that laurent had with the regent. and that's really all laurent is used to, besides damen.

four words. "you like it simple." and the entire chapter makes sense. the reason why this scene was in this chapter, juxtaposed with the slavery theme, makes sense. laurent's morals make sense, even if he's still functionally a hypocrite. laurent is protective of victims, people he sees as helpless and powerless and wounded. technically, isander is helpless and powerless, and a victim of the akielon slavery system. but laurent doesn't see isander, the individual, as a powerless, helpless, wounded victim. both because he's well-cared for and perfectly happy in his ignorance, incompatible with the image of "victim" laurent sees in his younger self and nicaise, and because deep down, laurent is jealous of isander too.

damen's response to those four words, "you like it simple," originally felt like an overreaction to me. but now i think i better understand what it means. All the breath left his throat. He stood, stripped, unready for it. Will you use even that against me? he wanted to say, and didn’t. Laurent’s breathing was shallow too, holding his ground.”

the "that" is slavery. both the practice in general, and laurent's assumption based on his new knowledge about the practice. damen saw laurent learn about the first night, and the proper method of commanding a bed slave. and damen knows that laurent knows he's been sleeping with slaves since he was a teenager. so logically, damen's reaction is to the realization that laurent thinks that damen fucked him as if he was a slave, and not a person. imagining him as a pretty object, groomed and submissive, noticeably and shamefully falling short where he is inexperienced. just like the regent.

which explains laurent's reaction, too, with the shallow breating. being around the slaves and isander and marlas must have made laurent more upset than he let on—about damen, about his trauma with the regent, about auguste—and he's only letting himself and feel and express it all now.

damen then makes himself change subjects, back to auguste. because talking about laurent's brother who he killed is somehow less complicated than their sex life. damen tries to reassure laurent that it was a fair fight and auguste wasn't in pain. laurent, unsurprisingly, responds with a taunt/joke.

horses pass by. laurent asks if damen sent them, damen says no. they find themselves in the same exact position they'd been in when they had their first night of true familiarity and companionship, in nesson-elroy. this part of the lamen greatest hits speedrun, they do themselves. the first time where damen felt not like a slave, but like laurent's equal partner. after laurent emptily re-enacting all of those kinky arles moments with isander, this is the thing that's too sacred to be done by anyone but the two of them. pressing up against each other in the midst of an adventure, free from the expectations of their true identities, barely able to contain the emotion between them. oh my god am i tearing up? i'm tearing up.

they pull away and damen tells laurent he isn't cold. damen knows he isn't cold. laurent wasn't cold when he tortured damen out of vengeful rage for the brother he loved, and laurent wasn't cold when he made love with his brother's killer. earnest, as ever. correct and they both know it.

laurent says they have to leave because of the riders, and then walks the conversation back to something damen said earlier, about it being a fair fight with auguste: "a fair fight? no fight's ever fair. someone's always stronger." and they leave.

laurent believes that everything is a power struggle, with one person in control and another person submitting. the strong and the weak, simple as that. this belief extends to intimacy and sex, which makes sense given laurent's sexual history and the veretian court. however, throughout the series we constantly see laurent's cynical outlook clashing with damen's earnest determination to act honorably. which makes the fact that laurent is the one against slavery between them, and damen is the one who has historically happily partaken, deeply ironic. and it makes it even clearer to damen that, to laurent, not only did he kill auguste—but he also made auguste look like the weaker man, adding insult to injury.

laurent never wants to be the weaker man, but also believes that people like himself—people who are decidedly not simple or trained into submission, who refuse to make themselves vulnerable because that would make them victims—can never truly be loved. so he'll choose to settle for being fuckable instead, and that choice gives him control. that's... that's probably why he didn't tell damen the truth about what he knew, in prince's gambit. because laurent assumed that if he was his real self, in his true complicated unsweet nature, damen wouldn't have wanted him in the same way, or at all. and just like jord said, damen was the only person laurent could trust.

damen wants to believe that things can be simple; not in the cynical way laurent implied, but in a way that's entirely earnest and vulnerable. he wants to be able to love and be loved without needing to prove himself the stronger man. he doesn't want to hold back, or follow customs, or be with a partner who is trained to get everything right. he wants someone real—the entire person, not just a body to fuck. he wants adventure and inside jokes, to be a not-slave but not-not-a-slave. he wants nesson-elroy, not arles or marlas. he wants to belong to laurent because he chooses to belong to laurent, and he wants laurent to choose him back.

either i totally just nailed this chapter analysis the second time around, or i overthought so hard that i came up with an entire unintended interpretation and made myself tear up about it. either way, good game, chapter 7. now i feel like i can move on.

[sarcasticsra]

HE COULDN’T THINK OF ANY FACTS.

Hyperfixation and passion got married and are taking care of all of the interests! Elias’ brain is just absolutely flooded with dopamine right now, it’s the BEST.

“A strong sense of pleasure slightly tempered by conscience sounds pretty fun.” Trapp is always 100% correct. My god this man is so quick and talented. More Trapp on D20 2kforever.

Conscience understanding the place self-loathing can come from and shrinking it back into more helpful “you fucked up but you’re going to fix it” guilt, accountability. Goddamn seriously self-loathing evolving from guilt Brennan you’re a goddamn genius.

Impulse and hyper vigilance have gotten divorced and remarried 17 times at least already, you can’t convince me otherwise.

Way to go, Elias. I knew you could do it, buddy.