#this one got long but there isnt rlly a place to cut it so deal ig 🤷‍♀️

[themyscirah]

3, 8, and 25 for the locg ask game!

He's just so slay what can I say. Anyways Emerald Twilight is my all time fave for him, and also GL/GA is amazing and I love it (though it is dated). But no I do love him. He's SUCH a bitch sometimes though and I find it so fun most of the time (and others kind of frustrating. Harold, please why must we do this rn).

The moment that really got me interested in him as a character (and not just background to other GLs) was definitely Green Lantern (1990) #1, when he swan dives off a cliff in front of some campers, only using the ring to save himself and fly away at the very last second. It immediately made me realize something was incredibly wrong with him and it has captivated me ever since

Of my top 10, he's definitely the one I feel I know the least about, as I've always seen him more on team books (which is generally his forte but still). Something I really love about J'onn though is that he'd SUCH a great friend. Like in the Suicide Squad/JLI crossover when he sees Mari McCabe hanging out with C list villains and being suspicious breaking into the prison (bc the Squad was NOT known abt at this time) his first instinct isn't to be confrontational or fight like everyone else is doing, but instead to reach out and ask if she was okay and how he could help her.

Or like in nu52 JLA during the mind prison arc when he's helping and kind of mentoring Stargirl during their "escape" of the mind prison like <3333 he's just so good. Or in New Frontier when he befriends the government boss who spent the whole comic trying to hunt him down and experiment on him after he saves the govt guy's life at the expense of his own goals?

I just love how he's a hero character that isn't just like nebulously good and cares about all people, but specifically cares about the people in his life and shows that care in his relationships with them <3. Anyways I should read more Martian Manhunter. Especially bc Ostrander is one of my top writers on locg and I've been meaning to read more of his stuff

APHRA LETS GOO!!!! Another Star Wars character but she's the queen of my heart for real. Did a campaign to try and get her in my top 20 a few months back but her ongoing ended and I've read more since then so now she's no. 25.

Fave runs for her are ofc Darth Vader (2015) [which I need to finish] and also Doctor Aphra (2020) by Alyssa Wong. There's also her 2016 run (which I think was written by Sí Spurrier?) but I haven't read that one yet so idk.

As a concept Aphra is just SO inspired and I rlly do hope we get EVEN more comics with her and that she makes the jump to other media bc I NEED star wars fans to get me when I rant about my favorite morally bankrupt asian lesbian archeologist fuckboy. She's also polyam but that's not compatible w the fuckboy bit bc that's her committed relationship later on (character development!)

I also love that she essentially bullied Luke Skywalker into being reluctant friends with her despite kidnapping him multiple times and also working for Darth Vader

[htpp-mxmi]

journal entry #38966377

so me an my girl got into it tonight.. she says i dont listen but its not that i dont listen i hear everything shes saying and sometimes i hear something an go w it bc thats what i hear her say ion rlly ask for clarification which is probably my fault an like when we text i do be reading shit but i honestly be zoning out sometimes thinking of things that ion rlly know how to bring up which isnt an excuse but still yeah an like she got a short ass fuse w me an it hurts my feelings honestly so i told her an like its other things that hurt my feelings like i found lingerie in the drawer we share undies w an like she doesnt wear lingerie i do but its not the type i usually wear so like i hid it an i had a melt down day after an i cut them bitches up cuz why even hide ts or have ts in something yk imma prolly look in an like the fact im jealous over who she chooses to care for but when its me everything goes out the window an like i feel as if "what am i needed for if you alr have everything you want? why me? why does it have to be this baby?? why do you have to be cool w this girl??" an idk how to expres s that to her w out lookin fuckin stupid but like it makes me cry so bad bc i feel like what i could do doesnt rlly matter no more like im not the one she rlly needs bc she has it already...

but in all reality i did a couple fucked up things an she rlly shouldnt b w me but shes trying to have patience w me she lost her job an shes a provider but she cant do it how she wants bc things arent goin how she wants and its stress on stress for her so i try not to be a brat but like idk i feel like a boiling pot that sb forgot abt an i can only hold my emotions for so long... i cried a lot last year over things that didnt rlly matter and it got on her nerves so i stopped in front of her. i used to not cry but we got drunk an my emotions just were all over the place so i excuse dmyself so when i went in the room by myself she checked on me an she got irritated af w me so frm that day forward i didnt cry infront of her she thinks its my personality an things like that but i rlly just dont do well w putting how im feeling an thibking into words so i let shit build up ik i cant do that but its like idk how elde to deal w how i feel abt things.. this rlly was just a venting session ik its mad much but these just my thoughts.

[woolydemon]

what are your thoughts on blurr?

I HAVE... MANY OF THEM. This is gonna be a long one (also im assuming ur talking abt tfa blurr)

First impression

I was just scrolling though the TFA tags before finishing my first watch of the show (bc... I'm like that I guess. I am willing to spoil myself stuff just so I can see fanart of them before I finish the show </3) and OF COURSE I saw him.

I immediately was like "OH,, HIS DESIGN IS FUN,," and he was a lil hyped up for me based on how ppl are like "look at this lil cute boy <33!!!!!"

Impression now

He's... not a "lil cute boy <33". But thank goodness he isn't bc I love him for that.

hearing his voice for the first time caught me off guard since ppl were drawing him.. In a certain way that doesn't quite indicate how much of a cringe nerd he actually is. He's just such a weirdo!! And thank god for that!! I wouldn't want him any other way, also I related heavily to his talking habits that's where the roots of kinning happened </3

What's also cool is that he is still kinda badass while still definitely being such a dweeb, like he ran across the galaxy!!! How did he do that??? Fucked up. Also despite being somewhat eccentric, he is definitely one of the most level headed characters on the show and that's just a fun concept to me :]

Favorite moment

probably all 13 minutes he appears in the show?????? (listen. i like him a lot)

like idk even his appearances in Velocity are interesting bc like... What is he thinking while all of this is happening.

is frothing at the mouth with rage at being controlled like a remote control toy car?? Is he freaking out over the fact he almost killed bumblebee?? is he impressed by how bee was able to quickly access situations and respond accordingly to them?? The possibiwittys..

but aside from that i just love seeing blurr being blurr at any moment, I give him full permission to infodump at all times

(also i love seeing him banter with bumblebee, wish we got more of that dynamic but alas </3)

Idea for a story

ooogh... i got some ideas.

I love seeing stories abt him dealing with the cube trauma but sometimes I think about what if he just went over to shockwave in prison and lashes out at him but in the end it just. Doesn't make him feel better and he's like "WOW. THIS SUCKS I NEED THERAPY"

Then there's an AU I've been thinking of where Blurr joins the crew from the start bc Ultra Magnus wanted someone to keep direct tabs on Optimus for him (and also intel didn't want to deal with him anymore so they just willingly sent him away </3) then u explore how he fits into the crew now (bonus points if he actually joins illegal street racing on his own terms this time, and then bee finds out and is like "dude what the fuck". There's reasons for this of course- this didnt come outta nowhere)

Then there's all the blurrbee fics that are in my brain, but the one I find rlly fun and interesting is Blurr gets forced to have a partner bc the cube incident and of course he's like "no!! I want to avoid social interaction bc i have social anxiety problems" but he looks at the list of new elite guard members for him to mentor and he sees. Bumblebee on that list. Apparently Bee's got the chops to be a really good scout, plus his reputation as a member of Team Prime made them willing to accept him into the Elite Guard. So now Bee is mentored by Blurr and is also Blurr's emotional support bot, plus they go on fun adventures and fall in love <3 good for them

Unpopular opinion

as I've said.. blurrs not a "lil cute boy". He's not some pushover!!! he's immensely stubborn and does not let willingly let anything get in his way!! He is also super intolerant of bullshit so he's probably going to shut down any of that before it gets out of hand

also while i do rlly like the idea of longarm and Blurr being friends, I think it's rlly funny if they were bitter workplace rivals and constantly going back and forth being extremely passive aggressive while maintaining professionalism. Like how blurr was sent to earth by longarm before he was able to get his breakthrough on the Flipsides case!! I imagine that conversation being like

Longarm: hello agent Blurr, I know you have been dedicating a lot of time and energy in figuring out who amongst the entertainment guild could possibly be a sleeper agent but I'm afraid I will have to postpone that by sending you in earth to monitor Optimus prime and his crew uwu

blurr: oh. .. thats. Completely fine sir. *Cuts to him later banging his head against the wall*

Favorite relationship

hmm.. I wonder whats my favorite relationship with Blurr in it?????? wat a mystery.. /j

OK Yeah. Its Blurrbee. I'm just so in love with their dynamic in the show and also what ISNT in the show. There's actually this bit in the Allspark Almanac where Blurr talks about how he thinks of Bumblebee as slightly annoying but has his heart in the right place and??? That's so sweet?? Blurr genuinely has a good opinion of Bee from the start and respects him which is. Very different from how a lot of other bots see Bumblebee.

I'm just saying, blurrbee dynamics ARE THERE and they are INTERESTING!!! Please think abt them please think abt them plea

Favorite headcanon

I think Blurr is very defensive of any friends he manages to actually have. Like he cares abt ppl like Wheelie and Dug Base A LOT.

You can call him a weirdo all you want, he doesn't care. But you start making fun of how Wheelie or Dug Base talk?? Ur gonna face his righteous fury!!!!!! He will end ur life and I might not be joking about this

[fagarlic]

going on a tolerance break, feel free to read more or ignore as you wish, but as always do not. r.b.

so im gonna give up a few of my vices for a good while. ive been at a place w some of my habits where im not rlly getting the result im wanting from them and its kinda just dragging me down. like if im gonna be feeling dissatisfied and irritable with it i can very well just deal with feeling dissatisfied and irritable without it. ive been watching a lot of stuff lately about general drug use, even stuff that i have not and will never knowingly mess with, and w all this info on what separates good experiences from bad ones really comes a lot down to the chemical reactions to the stimulus and mindset. like basically any behavior has the potential to become addictive if it causes a particularly strong reaction with the dopamine receptors. and the whole developing tolerance thing sucks. and itll happen whether its a substance or a behavior (though strong chemical addiction moves beyond problematic to genuinely dangerous in terms of withdrawal - thankfully not for anything ive got issues with - so itll suck but i dont have to worry that doing a tolerance break will like. kill me or fuck up my organs. honestly my lungs will be a lot happier if i also pause on the cbd bud as well, depending on how i tackle this. i have a tincture but i know it also contains a small amount of thc. its only like 1.3mg/serving and generally im only taking that or 1.5 servings which would still be like 2mg/serving but part of me still feels like id need to cut the thc out more than that idk. ik the cbd flower has a very negligible amount of thc so if im just missing the habit i think id do alright w switching over to cbd flower since that was actually going rlly well for me for a while (not in a trying to quit way, just in a mental health management way) so for a while there i was getting real strong into the cbd aspect, then i did some blends w some more thc heavy strains, had a few notable experiences and now im here. it sucks bc i KNOW that if i were literally just living on my own i wouldnt be having the problems im having with this stuff. like so much of the drive w my maladaptive behaviors (which im absolutely not saying these things Definitively Are, All The Time bc they really arent, but rn im not doing them bc i enjoy them, im doing them bc 1 im chasing the dragon and 2 its a way to get away from my family bc the way ive been living has been driving me out of my mind. truly the only reason i didnt lose it sooner was bc there was a long stretch of time (aside from the points where my sleep schedule was super fucked up, largely in part due to trying to figure out what way i could behave in my situation to make myself feel safe + i was out of the house for most of the day p much every day for months and months, which obviously helped. honestly if the weather werent what it has been right now id honestly be fine being outside just reading but its been wet and cold and now its getting super dark too so its a lot harder for me to find affordable ways to be somewhere that doesnt make me go fucking insane. and at least if im smoking weed it feels like i have a reason to be out in those conditions and it does make me feel better about them to a certain degree (aka barely enough lol) like literally if i just had my own tiny shack (properly weatherproof) in the middle of [redacted local nature area, and if u know me irl no it isnt the one youd be guessing]. enough for a bed Only or chair Only id be better off than i am right now. and i would absolutely be able to maintain healthier habits. i finally applied for housing but i havent got any notice of being pre-approved yet so i guess i still have to wait on that. i really hope i get to the top of that list sooner rather than later cuz i really am losing my fuckign mind. if youve read this far tell me about ur day or something cool uve been wanting to share but feels too weird/random to bring up normally idk lol. ily <3

[sleevesareforlosers]

also! i know you’ve mentioned quite a few times before in posts/fics about how party and kobra really only met right before they left the city? and i’m not entirely sure if i’ve just missed it but i would LOVE for elaboration specifically on that. i just!! am super interested to know about them and their lives in the city...and how everything shakes out regarding that 👀

!!!! okay thats def one of the more obscure bits of my canon? bc in universe party and kobra dont rlly like talking about it and on a meta level city life isnt rlly something i wanna devote too much energy to writing but i HAVE thought abt it!

i covered it a little bit in this fic but some details have shifted a bit just irt kobras job/timeline bc its over (i think?) a year old and its short so. not super elaborate

so when i say that they hadnt really met before leaving the city its like. they knew each other and lived with each other but they weren't really themselves. party bc of like. reeducation and kobra bc he was really fucked up with a combination of dysphoria and city drugs both prescribed and not (which i *think* ive mentioned arent a given in the city? most people dont get medicated the same way kobra did and not all the city meds are bad)

i will say that they were pretty close before party got reeducated. as close as u can be when ur thirteen and eight at least. but ofc he got taken and came back Completely different and kobra was a smart kid and kinda realized that directly confronting him abt the change would end really badly for both of them. party was rlly susceptible to the reeducation and its not their fault in any way but they definitely would have reported kobra if he'd tried to make a move.

so then once kobra snapped and cut his hair and party snapped out of the reeducation (combination of time since getting bleached and like. still being a caring and loving person under it all and knowing that he should care abt kobra) they escaped obviously and had to do a little crash course in 'how to be siblings' bc until then they were more just. people that lived in the same house and had nothing in common to talk about so they jsut didnt. i hope that makes sense? they knew each other but they didnt Really Know each other

as for what life in the city looked like for them!

i feel like its kinda important to know that their parents were low-level workers so they grew up in the slums on the edge of the city. not the worst part of the city (the lobby) but not downtown or even a suburban area.

party (post reeducation) became a total model student and ended up in a mid/high-level admin position in hq as soon as he graduated, set to get a promotion when he turned 20 and was in the process of trying to move out to a place of his own actually. kept getting their applications rejected bc they didnt have an "approved reason" to not live w their parents (no long-term partner and not a high enough level to qualify for one of the downtown studios). wasn't necessarily getting frustrated with the company but was getting frustrated with not being able to "start his own life" in his own apartment yknow? also a bit of a superiority complex/classism thing bc of having a higher-level job than their parents, wanting to live in a nicer part of the city like the rest of their colleagues. he had a Few friends, mostly from work, but it was nothing like the crew and friends hed had pre-reeducation bc. you know. obviously. it was just a little group of polite, well trained late-teens bli drones who got up to just the right amounts of bli-approved trouble (android girls and mood synthesizers but only on saturdays type deal). um. probably the least bli-approved thing they did was give spare carbons to broken-down droids in street corners and pretend to listen to the ones preaching the graffiti bible. This is all actually a huge reason Why party is so wanted by bli, like apart from the obvious of being a killjoy and fucking up a lot of shit for the company, he was also So close to being a perfect citizen that rebelling and escaping is a real lemon-juice-in-the-papercut for bli

kobra, on the other hand, was about one and a half Minor infractions away from getting reeducated himself. bli mostly saves reeducation and bleaching for people with confirmed rebellious biases or actions, people they dont think would be trusted enough to take their pills basically. theyd get fed up after enough violations though. kobra was on watch as a nuisance, but not a rebel, so he got away with attempts at medication and therapy that were... kinda effective? but he was Really pushing it especially once he got his job in the lobby and started running with lobby kids. really just imagine an absolute menace shithead of a fourteen year old breaking every law he could get his well-manicured but grubby little hands on. i think at some point ive mentioned that half the reason kobra was so good with tech and wiring was bc he picked it up from fucking with scarecrow cars and reprogramming shit about them? yeah. im not gonna say kobra's friends were like. a bad crowd. they were just chafing against city culture in a very specific way. lots of sex, violence, vandalism, underage mood synthesizer use (and by underage i mean even below the technically-underage-but-bli-looks-the-other-way-bc-they-know-people-need-to-feel-rebellious-sometimes age that like. party and his friends started trying them at). this is when he learned how to knife fight too which definitely saved both his and party's life the first night in the zones. on top of this all is the whole trans thing which isnt something thats necessarily frowned upon in the city, but when kobra finally realized what was up he went about it in a non-city-approved way (hacking his hair off with a set of nail clippers rather than like. submitting a transition application) and that absolutely would have been the last straw for him for the city if party had reported him rather than stuffed him in their car and left.

i dont know how to tldr this one but like. they both led really different lives in the city, kobra being rebellious and breaking laws but not in a killjoy way and party being So close to being a perfect citizen as a result of getting reeducated when he was thirteen, so they weren't honest with each other until party's bleaching broke and they left the city and THATS why i say they hadnt really met until they escaped.

[spookyrobbins]

thinking abt s9 again and it still pisses me off how much of az's experiences and disability is viewed from callie's pov (like literally at some points). like disclaimer here bc i understand that the people around an amputee are affected by it too and i understand that (esp at the time) showing callie's pov and struggles was extremely novel. but callie's pov should have been a supplement to az's, not replacing it?? bc literally every single one of az's ig accomplishments?? 1/8 – darkness anon

are seen from callie's pov. it even goes into the way they film certain scenes. (note that i am not like a professional filmmaker but i did take courses on art interp) comparing two scenes - the scene where az walks across the apartment to the door w her prosthesis and like trips and breaks shit along the way vs the "i got back up" scene which are very different scenes that occur in the same location - i noticed smth rlly interesting abt the way the audience is positioned 2/8

in the first one. there is only one portion of the scene (lasting maybe one second) where we do not see arizona in frame. in fact, most of this scene, we see arizona from her side, and at the end, we see her facing forward, toward the camera. and that's significant bc when they do that, we don't see things like the character sees it. we see it like an audience. we literally don't see az's perspective even when she is the Only character on screen. the closest we get to that in this 3/8

is the split-second frame of the vase breaking and one of the outside of the apartment, pointing to where the files bailey promised should have been. what the scene conveys isnt necessarily az's experiences, as a result, and instead is showing us the results of bailey's plan to get az walking again, which is linked back to callie's feelings abt az's response to the amputation and,, yeah. admittedly though, this scene is probably one of the most arizona centric scenes in the season. 4/8

comparing a scene with similar setting - the i got back up scene - is super interesting though, because we can see that the directors are filming az's scenes the way they are on purpose. bc that scene starts from callie's perspective and stays there for the rest of the scene. we start with the camera behind callie as she stands outside the door of the apt, and then cuts to a side/frontal angle so we can see her expression at the sound of az giggling behind the door 5/8

then she opens the door and we cut to a frontal angle so we instantly see callie's reaction to smth behind the camera and then turn around and show us what she's reacting to. compared to how they framed az opening the door in the 9x06 scene (they focus on the empty floor first and then pan up to az, emphasising the importance of the empty floor over az's reaction). and even when the camera is focused on az and sofia, it's callie's voice that we hear first and she asks if az 6/8

had a good day and then az reveals oh well i fell down and then we cut back to callie for her reaction. and then az responds w "i got back up". but the "i got back up" part? literally lasts less than a second before we cut back to callie again. and after that the cam cuts between focusing on callie and watching az and sofia from callie's pov (u can argue that the focus on callie is sofia's pov but i dont think that makes much sense? idk) but yeah. its like really weird too bc 7/8

in the same ep, they have the scene where az actually falls and its filmed so similarly to this scene in some ways and even though some of these techniques are used on az, it emphasizes alex's pov more than it does az and ugh idk. s9 irritates me in both the storyline and filming ig is the conclusion here. and uhh just realised how super long this got so like. feel free to not,, respond? like i get that this is like ridiculous and im sorry my dude 8/8

no no but you're so right. i've said it before (i think) and i'll say it again: the show disproportionately favours callie's pov over arizona's (it does this with other characters, like meredith's over derek's, but to a slightly less extreme i think) - part of this i think is bc callie was there first and arizona is written as a love interest exclusively. but the whole amputation storyline really showed this to an extreme

i also think that the amount of time spent in callie's pov is part of the reason that the cheating felt so extremely ooc/cheap emotional payoff. i've seen various places where people have said that cheating can be part of depression/ptsd/trauma (and i fully agree/believe that) and that could fit in arizona's storyline - except the audience never really saw her dealing with that. there was the stuff at the beginning of the season and then arizona seemed fine? and the challenge of arizona i think is that she's very internal and taking away teddy and mark (to an extent) sort of limited her external processes, which left the viewer thinking that arizona was doing okay. but the effect of not showing us arizona's pov is that it comes out of left field (which is you were writing not filming from callie's pov could work bc limited 3rd person) is that it just seems out of character and tawdry and you have to create miscarriages to explain her behaviour

the way they filmed/wrote 95% of calzona's scenes in s9 were focused on callie and her feelings. even scenes that on the surface seem to be about arizona are really centered on callie. like for instance the shoes before bailey's wedding. arizona is struggling with self-worth and beauty and this would be a perfect moment for arizona to have ownership in her journey - instead we get callie yelling at her about how "everything is about the leg", which i think does a disservice to arizona and also to callie's character, which has often been based around empathy (don't get me started on callie's empathy and how it relates to arizona lol) like you said, every one of arizona's moments/accomplishments is not really about her. and that was a problem with arizona's character from the start - it's never really about her - it's about other. for example: her telling callie about tim was about reassuring callie's feelings versus it being a moment to add depth to arizona's character

one more thing: i think the writers majorly screwed themselves with the amputation sl/how they approached it. in the same way that the plane crash dominated like 4 seasons on a wider scale, arizona's leg and amputation did on a smaller scale, but they set it up so poorly that it was almost unsalvageable. they wanted the pat on the back for having a disabled character, but they mismanaged the storyline so atrociously that by the time s10 rolled around they were sort of screwed and didn't know what to do with callie and arizona. it's also notable that by like what? s11 they just stop talking about arizona's leg entirely

lol my part got long too so i'll leave it here

[divine-draws]

okay i had a whole google doc that i wrote a buncha shit but imma try to CONDENSE it and make my ideas more clear bc there was some wishy washy in there. BUT dabihawks ice skating au bc im gay for that shit. all of it under the cut bc this shit is gunna get LONG. buckle in fuckers. ALSO FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ABOUT this i will be happy to answer shit :3c

SO fair warning before we begin. i know shit about ice sports. im like 1) not THAT educated nor have i legit participated though ive always wanted to and 2) this is just self indulgent so like if i dont get shit right or whatever dont come at me bro. im here to have FUN and live a bit vicariously. also as for location of all this shit i dont know and dont care and am american so my perspective on things are skewed. anyway cw: abuse mention

so dabi (touya) is a previous figure skater

he’s a figure skating prodigy 

enji was a pro hockey player (id say figure skating but this man was BUILT like a brick shithouse idk man) has a lot of championships under his belt but doesnt even begin to touch the legacy of his one sided rival yagi toshinori

him and rei meet and marry at a young age. she like.. actually liked him then?? shit was kinda okay but things kinda.... got bad quick. the abuse etc was ... yeah. she ends up having dabi and fuyumi (they’re twins babeyy) at a young age too and kinda doesnt feel like she can get out of her horrible marriage 

we wont dwell too much on the bad part of all of this though. anyway rei was a figure skater

p well known and known for her fucking GRACE god she moved so well on the ice.

she was so beautiful and spoke through her movements and enji loved that... and so as a hockey player and with a (now previous) figure skater wife he was like aight my kids WILL take up an ice sport and be the FUCKING BEST

dabi isnt made for hockey. enji tries to get him into it but it’s... nah... fuyumi isnt the best with figure skating. she’s good!! and her and dabi do some pair skating when they’re younger but it’s.. hm. dabi is the one with the clear talent here. (fuyumi is a beast on the ice when it comes to hockey though. will dominate. but she kinda... didnt really continue with it)

enji isnt PLEASED that his son isnt gunna be a hockey player but he still values figure skating and will fucking make sure he’s the BEST at it. and so the brutal training starts. he gets some good coaches and also takes up the coaching mantle 

the thing is.. rei was amazing as a skater but her body just... wasnt really made for all of that??? and dabi unfortunately kinda inherited that. his body hates the impacts and such. he’s amazing at figure skating. he has a grace similar to his mothers but there’s something more fierce to him. 

and honestly !!! he gets far!!

also natsuo comes around. he’s a bit too clumsy for either sport and resents the fact that him and fuyumi are neglected by their father. he also loves touya and gets so pissed seeing his brother so hurt

and shouto is born and this kid was made to be on the ice. he’s skating from the moment he can fucking stand on his own.

obvs enji’s attention is split but it’s mainly on touya who is winning championships and GOING places but it’s still not good enough

anyway idk how far he goes?? but it’s the biggest competition yet and on ice mid routine he lands wrong

one thing leads to the next and he’s pretty much medically retired from a young age. he can skate. he can still kinda preform but he cant do what he used to at ALL and he cant keep up with the brutal pace enji sets. there’s a lot of trying to push him still and it’s just.. not happening

for all it’s worth dabi is kinda glad he isnt doing it anymore. but he fears for his babies brother. shouto is a natural and while yes being a professional athlete of any sort is brutal on your body, his body is a lot more capable

but like touya before, shouto is pushed to his absolute limits. bleeding and injuries and puking his guts out from being pushed too far

there’s a lotta resentment but he still pushes through w skating. 

(side note but there DEF is some todomido/tododeku w hockey player izuku who ends up being coached by THE yagi toshinori and who helps shouto out w making shit his own)

anyway so in the end dabi ends up working at a rink tho lol

it’s p much owned by shigarai and run by the lov (who in this au end up making their own little ragtag unofficial local hockey team p much and play games against other teams like them)

despite his father’s whole career, dabi does enjoy playing hockey with these dipshits

but yeah he enjoys his time working at the rink, fucking around and sleeping in random places and sometimes running the zamboni

he’s also best frenemies with shigaraki. they get along and both deal with a shitty upbringing and despite some slight animosity they both would kill if someone fucked w the other 

(also at some point dabi DEF teaches some little kid classes lol)

also dabi does sometimes skate his own routines from time to time. only when he’s alone really. though fuyumi has a pass to be there though he will gripe still

SO HAWKS AM I RIGHT??

now there is a couple ways to go with this and somewhere in me there is an au with hockey player hawks who takes skating lessons from figure skater dabi BUT

i think for this au we’ll just say he was a figure skater from the get go

i think he WANTED to do hockey as a kid. like shouto he’s also a fucking natural and was skating as soon as he could fucking stand and walk. and he looked up to enji and kinda wanted to take up hockey but 

listen,,, trans hawks. who wanted to be like todoroki enji and be a pro hockey player. shit just.. didnt work like that though and besides he’s a tiny dude and god he’d be fucking obliterated 

he kinda is self taught and the ice is his escape from his shitty home life

idk how this works but listen gotta tie in the commission somehow???

he’s scouted or whatever for figure skating at a very young age and his mom is happy to take the heavy scholarships and happy to sign him over to skate for these ppl and have them push him to be The Best

and this kid is FAST. he’s fast and is insane with his jumps and stg it almost looks like he’s FLYING (which gets him the nickname hawks)

the coaches are brutal and shit sucks and a lot of the time it kinda sucks the life out of the sport but he still enjoys it

he has a love for outfits that legit have flare to them (also im thinking of johnny weir’s one outfit w the feathers but yknow instead of white they are RED) and while he does do routines to boring ass music he mainly likes doing shit different (also dabi was p much forced the whole time to do shit to that boring ass music but on his own he’d use his own music taste to skate to)

and he’s good!! he GOES places. he’s like makes it to the olympics at a young age and is one of THE youngest gold medalists for figure skating

im sure somewhere along the line him and dabi DID meet. it was at some competition and hawks was VIBRATING bc there’s ENJI and he wants and autograph and oH GOD IS THAT HIS SON??? he’s HOT. (and at this time dabi still had his red hair and like no piercings and what little ones he had they were out but this dumbass will not recognize him later on)

but god he needs to chill TF out or he will fuck up in the competition 

he hears about dabi’s whole accident and like feels for him but again it’s not like they were friends. there was more of a slight rivalry and they barely spoke if they did

but so idk like.. between seasons hawks finds himself going like nearly every day to this rink.. aka shigaraki’s rink (also sidenote but lbr it’s really run by shirakumo who kinda has to fucking herd the cats w this group)

as frenemies dabi and shigaraki share their distaste for some of these pro athletes (tho some get a pass) and kinda complain about hawks a bit tho like..... shigaraki cant complain TOO much bc of the money from hawks renting out the rink for a few hours almost every day

dabi is too gay for this shit when he actually sees hawks in action. rip him 

tbh they dont really interact tho (besides dabi telling him to gtfo the rink or he’ll run him over with the zamboni) until one day that hawks catches dabi skating

he was done and should have been gone but he forgot something on the bleachers and then he sees dabi and.. oh boy he’s GAY AF

and also dabi is RLLY GOOD???

and so hawks makes a FOOL of himself and startles the poor guy and p much presses all the wrong buttons w asking why he doesnt compete or something

and i mean im sure they had some SLIGHT progress w talking before. nothing significant but god the walls go RIGHT THE FUCK UP and dabi is pissed

tbh dabi was gunna get to the point where he LEGIT talked to him and maybe lowkey asked him out (he says this but shigaraki calls his bluff) and now there is no way. he storms off and tries to avoid him so hard

and hawks tries to corner him a bit but after some time he does manage to corner him and be like pls just let me take you out to dinner to make up for that shit????

aaand dabi accepts bc listen okay he cant say no to free food ??? like he’s kinda pissy w this guy but also.. listen he has EYES 

anywayyy p much this just leads to them dating

hawks DEF looks him up and watches all the vids of him and like the idiot he is realizes that he met him before ( “oh my GOD i know you” “uh… we’re dating i hope u know me?????”  “nO I MEAN WE MET AT (insert comp)”)

but before that dabi did like tell him some shit. mainly about like how he used to skate blah blah and the whole thing that ended all of that

he doesnt really delve too deep into like his shitty childhood until well later

idk what leads to it but the convo finally comes up and it’s so draining for dabi and hawks is horrified and ready to fight his dad (“listen i just sharpened my skates i’ll just-”)

anyway some side things bc this is long and i will answer questions on this tho

rumi is a women’s pro hockey player and fuyumi who actually follows hockey and shit has the BIGGEST crush on her (they end up together)

also natsuo comes to see one of the leagues games (he hasnt really seen them play tbh?? he hears about it from dabi but he lives like at least a few hours away on campus and is going for med school so rip him) and like he meets shigaraki and anyway dabi is losing his FUCKING MIND bc his best frenemy/boss and his younger brother are FLIRTING. RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM???

dabi and hawks are really gay together and have skated together by this point and made out on ice a few times and shigaraki was miserable and is like “NOW U KNOW!!” and dabi is pissed bc “yEAH BUT THAT”S MY LITTLE BROTHER??? IT”S NOt thE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

[survivorgalaxysedge]

Episode 4 | Space Cadet Blasting Off Again - Jessie

We swapped. And what a wild swap it is. I want from the Andro Tribe to the Circi Tribe. And so did Jonathan, Ari and Zoe. Four of us stuck together on a tribe of 5. We also have Ali with us. I’m worried Ali has an idol so I just don’t want us to lose at all. Let’s keep the good vibes flowing. 

AND NOW IM AM ON CALL WITH JONATHAN AND HE'S TELLING ME ABOUT THE EXACT PLACE I JUST WENT AND THE EXACT RIDDLE I DID LIKE "SOMEONE ALREADY GOT THERE" HELLLLPPPPPPPPP honestly this is what he gets for going off script! i had the room search under control and he was supposed to be in the hallway so it's not my fault he found my mess!

I encountered an alien in the idol search! I sang them a song and viola! I have a special power. I have the ability to kidnap someone from another tribe, for a full round of the game. They compete in the challenge with us. They'll attend tribal council if we go, but can't be voted out. Kind of a neat little power. It has to be used before merge. So I guess we'll see what happens. If we started with 18, swapped at 15, I imagine that merge will be at 11. I've got a few tribals to figure out when/how to use this power, if I even decide to use it at all. Man, I am loaded. Hidden Immunity Idol and this now. On a DISGUSTING note, someone used a power on me to destroy 10 of my fuel. Thankfully it was only 10 and not a whole lot of it. 

I’m actually so annoyed Why the heck would you say “we should throw the challenge .” Like legit why. This is my favourite challenge and I’m not throwing . I get that Jacob hasn’t said a lot but seriously throwing a challenge to get rid of someone who seems kinda new is so stupid . I’m actually so annoyed rn so I’m typing my thoughts so I don’t yell at the person who said they don’t wanna take the time and edit because we are losing anyways . You know what maybe if you didn’t have such a negative attitude about the situation we could turn out a badass video . Did you ever think maybe the other tribe would be down right awful and we could pull out a win ? I’m so tired of my tribe constantly losing . Anyways updated thoughts or whatever because we had a tribe swap Jacob: said creative challenges aren’t his thing . Trying to talk to him more Cindi : we haven’t spoke I don’t think she likes me from our last game though which is fine I guess? Nathan : Original tribe loyalty I guess ? Jay: Jays pretty cool. Okay that’s it I just needed to vent so that’s why it’s confessional form I also still have my idol so flex I guess ? Idk that’s sounds kinda cringe This is Jessie the space cadet blasting off again 

I AM SWAP FUCKED

I SWEAR TO GOD MY GAME ENDS WITH THESE HOES

Keegan is going home

Fourth straight immunity win! This game is wild. I’ve never done so well before! And now I’ve got another 6 fuel, which is a total of 16 fuel from reward wins. With my hidden immunity idol, and my steal a player advantage, I feel unstoppable. But, things can change at a moments notice so I’m not going to stand on my high horse, I’m going to remain realistic. I don’t have any alliance chats, the only person who has straight up said they want to work with me is Jay who is now going to tribal. It’s almost a bad thing not attending tribal so many times, because I have nothing to test or prove loyalty. Who knows what will happen moving forward. 

https://youtu.be/dm7Kta2n7hs

Well we just lost the challenge. Not that I'm surprised, we pretty much lost it when we didn't communicate for a whole day. I tried to do my part and get people discussing but once it was clear this wasn't gonna be a win for us, I just used it for strategy. I wanted to do my best despite the circumstances to prove that this tribe needs me since I'm active and good in challenges. And I think it worked! The judges shouted me out twice for my part in the video (even tho it kinda sucked, but I guess my white boy dancing was good in comparison). But anyways, I do like this tribe and I'm sad we lost, but I have a little theory on why some people didn't try so hard. It was discussed before the challenge even came out that we wanted Jacob out. How this happened was Nathan approached me as soon as we got onto the new tribe and we called and had a good talk on how we felt about the game. Turns out that the queen herself, Jessie Flynn, advocated for me as an ally to Nathan before we even swapped. And us both, and Jessie, all felt good about Cindi too. And ever since then, Nathan's been in my DMs talking about voting for Jacob. So overall I think I landed myself in a pretty sweet spot on this disaster of a tribe and hopefully we can get our shit together for the next challenge, cause things won't be so clear cut next time.

https://youtu.be/dm7Kta2n7hs

WE WON. THANK *GOD.* after flying across the country yesterday and dealing with several minor life crises, i literally spent the ENTIRETY of today working on that video - meaning from when i woke up at 10 to fifteen minutes before when it was due - and also spent seven whole dollars at the dollar tree for props & costumes soooooo if we had not won i would've been quite embarrassed. i was nervous about the editing part, as i've not ever actually put together a music video challenge, just weird silly videos like me as zac efron.... but it turned out okay! i'm not 100% satisfied with my work (i wanted to put more transition effects & it needed more variety / staging to make it less repetitive) but hey it was a thousand miles above the other teams' submissions so i will take it!!! and i never have to listen to space jam again!! anyway, i guess this means another boring day around camp. winning reward got me two more adventure missions, which i used to mostly complete the outside portion of the quest and jonathan is i think gonna finish it off for us tonight. i am hoping/assuming he'll get whatever is there since it's been literally only 48 hours since this started and the door keypad had five zillion combos, and that'd mean that's the last thing in this adventure probably? oh wait nvm we still have a shit ton of stuff to check in the hallway i should do that next. but yeah so that'll be good and i hope it is an advantage or a disadvantage that he won't play on me LOL. if i wake up and all my fuel is destroyed.... i know where you've been jonny! not much else to report right now. it sounds like ali's doing a good job of getting himself in the good graces of zoe and jonathan, which is the most ideal scenario for me so we can say bye-bye keegan. i was a bit worried that if we lost this challenge i wouldn't have a plausible reason to argue to jonathan for keeping ali - or actually, more likely, i think he would have wanted to vote zoe? she hasn't been around as much and he did express concern on saturday about whether she's doing okay. luckily though, this W has bought me a few more days to work on getting the people i like to like each other.

https://youtu.be/F4_Sylzyxyw

UGH UGH UGH I GOT TRIBE FUCKEDDDDDDD IM WITH MJ WHO I JUST SLASHED THE VOTE OF AND LIED TO AND THE OTHER 3 ARE FROM THE SAME TRIBE. GOD DAMN IT. UGH but on the other hand we won immunity and it'll give me time to get to know my other tribe mates. I just hope this isnt a "tribe strong" battle in this game. I hope everyone are free agents

woo! ari and i are together in the swap as well as keegan and jonathan, and ali wound up with us as well on the new circi tribe. we won the music video challenge so the streak continues. i’m very tired!

so the tribe swap went pretty much the best it possibly could, as i got swapped majority with the two members of my tribe i talked to the most. we won immunity so i'm chilling for another week. unfortunately, mj and silver seem to have no interest in talking to me. both of them left me on read after i initiated conversation. so. sits.

So despite the easy seeming vote, I'm still gonna be nervous until the votes get read. These players are no joke, especially knowing that Alex was completely blindsided by Nathan and Jessie. I'm staying positive because I think it's like, a 90% chance I'm in the clear, but you really don't know until you know LOL. I'm just trying to set up my position on this tribe and for the future. I've gone to Cindi, Jessie, and Nathan individually and reassured them that I'm with them for the long haul. And for now I mean it, but if any of them get too dangerous then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry not sorry~ looking specifically at you Nathan 👀

nothing rlly to say tbh happy we swapped!!!!! and happy we won!!!!!! happy to be here with jules. havent really talked much since swapping honestly but i think i'd like to work with jules and asya and somehow get silver tf up outta here when we get the chance!!!!!

https://youtu.be/kt66vebpU4k

https://youtu.be/t5x52CJdhjI

TRIBAL AGAIN. I'm so nervous. I'm the only one from Circi so that's an easy swap screwed if you ask me. But I hope I'm ok. I think I've made a good bond with Jay Nathan and jessie and they all say we're voting for Cindi so fingers crossed it's not all an elaborate ruse on me

First tribal should be a unanimous vote. I told Nathan if he voted me out I'd block him and our 50 day snap streak would be toast and, like, tbh I think that would crush him. Jay and I want to work together. The only one who might've been sketched out is Jessie but she doesn't have the numbers. It feels insane to be this not paranoid before tribal when I know Jacob is pushing my name...but also I literally don't think that he could get me out?? Like, Nathan and I were/are a dynamic duo so I do not know how he would flip. Jay flipping makes zero sense. The ONLY people this would benefit or be a neutral for is Jessie and Jacob. The only way I go is if Nathan and Jay are two of the dumbest players on the planet.

Tribals in an hour we lost Big sad energy I guess my hearts really going to supernova 

[elle-eedee]

im a day late but im a sap so i wanted to whip up something of timid heart shark celebrating no heart’s birthday!! biiiiig headcanon dump under the cut 💜🖤

ok so!!! timid heart wakes up one morning and she looks at her calendar, as one does, and when she realizes its friday the 13th she GASPS and falls out of bed

this makes a LOT of noise, so it happens to wake up her roommate, [studio audience applause] slimey heart snail! slimey's disgruntled to have been woken up from his Sleeb but as soon as he sees timid heart on the ground hes in Protec Mode™ like "WHATS GOING ON ARE YOU HURT" and shes like "i-its.... no h-hearts BIRTHD-DAY" and u can see slimeys face go through the 5 stages of grief (with acceptance taking place in the form of "thats fine but im kinkshaming")

(in general, slimey feels kinda iffy abt timid's feelings 4 no heart, just bc hes a Bad Dude n slimey wants the best for his very good friend, but at the same time he trusts her!!! he just has to remind her to stick up 4 herself sometimes)

so slimeys like “ok... and?” bc he knows the drill at this point and timid heart obvi has a plan to impress her Crush™ SO she goes through this whole thing about how she really wants to make sure no heart has a good day and she thinks its important that he gets to celebrate with people who wouldnt, like, directly benefit from being overtly kind to him (i.e. henchmen) and maybe she gets distracted a few times and ends up describing the hug she plans to give him in detail, and MAYBE shes blushing a lil more than necessary, but slimey keeps her on track and when it seems like shes finished talking he asks how on earth shes going to get to his castle n she gets this look of surprised realization followed immediately by determination n shes like “I H-HAVE TO GET CAPTURED”

slimey heart’s like “YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT DO THAT”

they discuss whether or not this is a good idea for longer than necessary (smh timid heart... wyd) but slimey eventually convinces her that itll show more dedication/be safer if she just straight up visits him, since by this point she absolutely knows the way. but since shes a shy baby she asks slimey to take the trip with her, which he agrees to do as long as he doesnt hav to ACTUALLY go inside the castle, as he “makes no promises about not punching the guy’s face in on sight”. and so theyre off!

the actual journey is pretty uneventful; they get near enough 2 the castle that slimey can avoid being noticed but still keep an eye on timid, so he sends her on the rest of her way

in standard timid heart fashion, the last 5 minutes of the trip r the ones where she immediately overthinks her whole plan and gets super anxious about it. what if no heart’s shadows catch her? what if she has to worry abt whatever scary stuff lives in his moat? what if she has to sneak in, and no heart thinks she wants to Fight him? her brain is being very mean to her and its not fun at all

but luckily, who does she see right outside but MR. BEASTLY?? and hes pacing about, like he does every year (or, well, every 6ish months? however often friday the 13th happens fdkfgdsds) and worrying about not having the perfect gift for no heart yet!! so she realizes that she isnt going to have to sneak in after all! and she strikes a deal w/ beastly where he pretends that he captured her as his gift to no heart! everybody wins

so they get inside, and beastly runs into the room first and does his whole singsongy “NO HEEEEAAAAAAARRRRRRRT I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOUUUUU” and no hearts annoyed, like he always is, but u can tell theres something else to it. he sounds hopeful? so beastly keeps on going and hes dropping hints abt what the gift is and saying things that pretty obviously would only apply to a care bear (like “its small, and fuzzy, and something youve been trying to destroy for centuries” or smth fdsgkf) and no heart is VERY excited now and hes like “YOU GOT ME A-?” and timid heart steps out from behind a wall and kinda shrugs n smiles and no heart is like “... oh. hello, timid heart.” (her heart skips a beat or twenty when he says her name)

and the way he says it is like? maybe shes reading too much into it, bc she does that, but he says it with a tone that, from anyone else, would sound horribly disappointed but given the fact that no heart has the emotional range of a peanut he sounds! almost happy to see her!!

he crosses the room n approaches her and her brain is going a mile a minute and he crouches to get a better look at her and her breath catches. they lock eyes, for like a second. she waves. he stands back up to his full height, says something characteristically unimpressed like “i suppose she’ll do” and beastly has NO STANDARDS so he looks p excited but then after a minute no heart sighs and very genuinely is like “thank you, beastly” and its!!! a Very Nice Moment. 

so of course he kicks beastly out of the room like 2 seconds later just so hes not being TOO soft. and then he and timid heart are alone

theres a bit of an uncomfortable silence (well, it’s uncomfortable for timid at least) so she clears her throat and, in her very raspy Nervous voice, says “h-happy birthday, no h-heart!” he whirls around and looks at her and is a combo of surprised and confused?

he beckons her closer w/ one finger and she goes to him willingly, and he crouches to her eye level again. theres a tense silence where shes thinking abt the way his shadow pools around her, commands the room, but his voice snaps her out of it. soft n low, he asks “why are you here?”

“w-well, i- b-beastly, he-” “yes, yes, i know. he got you. but he always seems to, doesnt he? he never fails. you’re always here. so, why?” 

timid heart fiddles w/ her hands for a sec, tries 2 come up with something less embarrassing than the actual truth, but she cant, so she just takes a deep breath and tells him that she likes it in his castle and that, well, she likes him! (she doesnt specify romantically, but... baby steps) and she thinks he deserves to have a nice birthday celebration

he looks her over for a moment that feels Really Long, but then he sighs and!!! he reaches out and takes her hand!!!!

slimey heart, watching thru a window with heart-shaped binoculars: nice

timid n no heart just kinda Stay like that for a nice moment, a moment in which timid heart is pretty suspicious shes dreaming and CERTAIN that shes forgotten how 2 breathe, but eventually no heart very gingerly releases his hold on her and stands. he tells her that he has to get back to his work (evil doesnt take a holiday, after all) but that shes welcome to stick around so long as she doesnt get into trouble. so she does! she doesnt Rlly feel comfortable watching no heart research spells (she feels like shes bothering him + upsetting the peace n quiet) so instead she hangs out with beastly for a while! they talk abt inconsequential stuff like the plant he’s growing and how come he always wears that scarf, even when its hot out? super fun

she ends up leaving a little before it gets dark out (not that its EVER easy to tell what fckin time of day it is at no heart’s castle, given the weather is Spooky Clouds 24/7) so that none of the care bears or cousins worry abt her, but shes too shy to say bye to no heart so she just asks beastly to tell him she had a really good time and that she hopes he enjoys his birthday! shes pretty much banking on the fact that he’ll paraphrase it to b less emotional dskgds

as shes walking away she blows a lil kiss to the castle (something shes sure 2 get made fun of for later) and meets up w/ slimey, who does in fact joke around with her but is overwhelmingly glad shes safe

he asks her how it went and if she ever got that Perfect Hug she was talking about? and shes like “n-nah but... i-i’ll get him n-next time” n he kinda laughs n puts his arm around her and they walk home like that