#this one references to Voyager times so it is the right moment to post it

[mizuki80]

Chapter 2: The First Spark 

Warning: Blood, Fighting

Note: Chapter 2 is here!!!! let me know what you guys think, this is a long one. Please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list so you will know when the next chapter is out, and don't forget to look at the misterlist on all the dates and times of when I will be posting the next chapter cause they my change.

Word count: 3.8k

Masterlist

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Chapter 2:

After the news of Ser Harwin Strong’s dismissal from the city watch has spread. A letter has arrived at the Red Keep informing that Lady Laena Velaryon has passed away due to childbirth. This news has washed a sorrowful fog upon the castle. Visenya’s mother the Princess Visaera has always adored her cousin from the moment she was born, and formed a sisterly bond with her. Her mother was both happy when Lady Laena married her uncle, but saddened when she moved to Pentos since Prince Daemon, the King’s brother was exiled (once again). However, it does not stop her from threatening the Rogue Prince from making sure her cousin lived a comfortable and content life with him.

The trip to Driftmark was a grim affair. Her family has voyages out to send their support to House Velaryon. Visenya and Aemma never knew their Aunt in person, only reading her letters and gifts she sent on their name days. Growing a fondness and adoration from her hoping to meet Lady Laena one day, but knowing now, that day will never come.

All families stood by the rocky ocean side for the funeral. Listening as Vaemond Velaryon began the eulogy for his beloved niece. The twins clung to their mother, comforting her as she held back tears of sorrow for her cousin. As Vaemond continued speaking about blood, Visenya could not help but notice the once sorrowful tone in his voice turned to anger, seeing as he looked at Princess Rhaenyra’s sons. But hearing her Uncle, Prince Daemon’s laughter filling the solemn atmosphere broke her train of thought. Then looking at her mother with confusion, and received a nod, signaling to not pay him any heed. Hearing the tightening of the rope, and the slow pushing of the coffin. The twins watched and listened.

Ñuha rāpa valonqro tala (My Gentle niece)

ñuha se jelmior sagon kostōba hae ao arlī, (my the winds be strong as you back)

aōha seas hae gīda hae aōha issare hen lēda isse (your spirit as calm as your spirit,)

se aōha nets sagon lēda hae aōha prūmia. (and your nets be as full as your heart.)

Hen se embar īlon māzigom. (from the sea we came.)

Naejot se embar īlon kessa jikagon arlī. (from the sea we shall return)

Everyone watches as the coffin falls into the sea, and sinks to its deepest depths. 

Everyone gathered after the funeral. The twins stayed with their mother, they looked out at the sea. Princess Visaera turned and glanced at everyone in attendance, but couldn’t help but notice her Uncle (Prince Daemon) and sister staring at each other. She has always known what truly happened between them that night when they went out to see the city, but she was not one to pry on the past. 

The Princess Visaera looks at her daughters before saying “Your cousins, Baela and Rhaena, could use a friend right now.” Stroking their backs “Why don’t you girls go and give a kind word to them.” giving a small smile but in her eyes there was sorrow.

The girls only nod in agreement making their way to the two girls sitting by themselves.

“I’m very sorry about your mother,” Aemma said quietly, “Though we have never met her, we exchanged letters from time to time.” she continued.

“She spoke of you two,” Visenya chimed in. “She refers to you both as her greatest loves, and said that we would quickly befriend each other.” giving a small smile.

Laena's daughters smile at them, but never spoked, giving a somewhat awkward atmosphere.

“She spoke of you both as well,” Baela finally broke the silence “I feel as if I already know you both from what she spoke of.” Looking at the twin princesses.

“She spoke of your beauty as well,” Rhaena finally said, “That though you two are identical, people can tell you apart by your eyes and the way you act.” she looks up at her cousins “You’re Aemma, the more strong-headed and have the might of the dragons when you get angry,” Looking at the lilac eyed princess “And you’re Visenya, you're more level headed and think before you do” then looking at the pale blue-green eyed princess.

The two princesses smiled at them.

“I-I know I have not yet felt the sorrow you both have experienced today, and hope I never will,” she paused before continuing “But my grandfather says, “That though someone has passed, they never truly do, they’re with you in the stars and everything you do.” Remembering what her grandfather Lord Vaenar said to them once when they attended their first funeral for a friend of their grandfather.

“Thank you for your kindness Princesses, we truly appreciate it.” Baela said 

Before they could say anything Jacaerys came up to them and offered his condolences, letting their cousins speak in private.

As they twins walked around they parted ways, Aemma going to their mother, leaving Visenya to wander around by herself and spotting her uncles and aunt by a pile of shells, and overhearing their conversation.

“We have nothing in common.” Aegon cried out as Visenya approached them.

“With who?” Visenya asked wondering who his talking about

“She’s our sister.” Aemond said looking as Helaena

“You marry her, then.” Aegon spat out looking at his brother

“I will perform my duty,” Aemond pauses “If mother had only betrothed us.” he says

“You're marrying Helaena?” Visenya asked looking at Helaena “Why? Surely she would be better off to some noble lord and not some,” she paused looking Aegon up and down as he drank whatever liquor he had in his cup “drunk fool.” she quietly said, earning a small smile from Aemond but Aegon was too busy drawing in his cup to pay any heed to them.

“It would strengthen the family. Keep our Valyrian blood pure.” Aemond explained

“She’s an idiot.” Aegon said turning to Aemond

“Or you're just alway drunk to understand, blinded by your cup to see how smart she truly is.” Visenya said, rolling her eyes, defending her Aunt. Earring her cursing remarks from Aegon.

“We actually do have one thing in common.” Aegon said while taking another drink, and looking at the servant girl. “We both fancy creatures with very long legs.”  He said crocheting down to Aemond and Visenya’s level, before leaving.

“I still cannot believe he is your brother,” she said “How are you, kind and smart, and him so…” she paused, not knowing what to say “well him.” she says with a bit of disgust in her voice.

~ Time Skip ~

The sun had set, and the moon shone brightly. Giving off a serene glow to the land. Their mother has just kissed the girl good night in their shared room. As they drifted off to sleep, they were awakened by Baela and Rhaena while Lucaerys and Jacaerys stood by the door.

“What has happened?” Visenya said sleepily while rubbing her eyes.

“Why have you come and disturb me,” Aemma said still with her eyes closed “I was having the most wonderful dream about cake.” She said, groaning with annoyance.

“Someone stole Vhaga.” Rhaena spoke out for for Aemma and Visenya to hear

“And might you tell me…” Aemma spoke sitting up “How does one steal a dragon?” Looking at the four children who woke them up at the dead of night.

Visenya sigh “I’m sure Vhagar was just flying around by herself,” said said 

“No.. I heard it, someone was on her” Rhaena protest

“I’m sure it was just the howling of the wind from her wings.” Aemma said lay back down and turn away drifting back to sleep.

“I’m sure there is nothing to worry about,” Visenya said, holding onto Rheana's hand reassuring her “Go back to bed, and first thing in the morning we can check on her if you’d like.” she said as the four children walked out their chambers before closing the door.

For the first few minutes, Visenya could not sleep. Worrying about her cousins. So she got out of her bed and put on a robe before waking up Aemma.

“Aemma” She shakes her sister, waking her up gently but it did not work “Aemma!” She whispered, shaking harder.

“What!” Aemma groaned turning to her sister

“I can’t help but worry, we must go check on them” Visenya spoke

“Whyy?” Aemma whined 

“If you won’t go then I will” Visenya said with a stern voice as she got up and walked to the door.

“Wait!” Aemma said as she sighed “I’m coming” before getting up, grabbing her robe and walking out.

As they checked each of their cousins' rooms and saw they were not there, both girls had a feeling in their guts that something was wrong. As they got closer to the exit they were able to hear a scream of fight and started running. As they get to the steps they see Aemond holding a rock above his head as he holds Jace by the collar. This causes Visenya to run up to them.

“Aemond! No!” She says she holds his hand that had the rock.

Aemma ran up to Rhaena and Baela making sure they were alright, not noticing Luc was slowly reaching to the blade on the ground.

Aemond looks at Visenya and started to calm down and dropping the rock but not noticing jace throw dirt on his face and after Luc running up and slashing Aemond hitting his eye grasping it as he fall to the ground screaming out of pain as blood drips of his eye and onto the ground forming a  small puddle. But Aemond was not the only one who was slashed with the blade, though small it was enough to draw blood, Visenya cried out and put her hand on her shoulder but ran up to Aemond to check on him.

“Let me see,” Visenya said, holding onto Aemond, and gasping.

She was trying her best to help and comfort Aemond as she looked back at her sister and cousins. The guards came running up to them, one checking on the Visenya as blood slowly dripped from her shoulder to her arm and the other guard went to Aemond.

“My Prince, my Prince. Let me see.” the guard says as he checks on Aemond’s condition before saying “Gods be good.” with a shaking voice.

~ Time Skip ~

“How can you let this happen?” The King asked as he moved his gaze away from the children to the guard “I will have answers” he sternly.

“The princes and princesses were supposed to be abed, My king.” The guard said informingly.

“Who had the watch?” The king asked

Visenya was seated next to Aemond as the maesters tended to them, holding onto Aemonds hand for comfort as Aemma stood right next to her. Glancing at Aemond before glancing back to watch as the scene unfolds.

“Young prince was attacked by his own cousins, Your Grace,” The guard said

“You swore oaths to protect and defend my blood!” The king yelled with anger and he stared down each guard.

“The Kingsguard has never had to defend princes from princes, your grace.” Ser Criston spoke out

“That is no answer!” The king turned to him with anger.

Aemond hissed as the maesters cleaned his eye, Visenya though only a child felt helpless. I did not know what to do or how to help. Only able to hold Aemonds had thought it. 

“It will heal, will it not, maester?” The queen asked, looking at the maester with worry.

Everyone turned and listened to what the maester had to say “The flesh will heal.” he paused as he sawed Aemond up “But the eye is lost, Your Grace.” he finally said.

Visenya gasped, holding onto Aemond tightly. The Queen Alecint had gotten up and approached Aegon.

“Where were you?” She asked angrily 

“Me?” Aegon turned to his mother before earning a slap to the cheek “What was that for?” he yelled out of surprise 

“That was nothing compared to the abuse your brother suffered while you were drowning in your cups, you fool.” She spat back at him

With the sound of the doors opening “What is the meaning of this?!” Lord Corlys Verlaryon yelled out.

With his entrance Princesses Rhaenys, Rhaenyra, Daemon, and along with Visenya and Aemma’s parents Princess Visaera and Ser Rhaegor came and immediately looked at their daughters.

“Visenya!” Princess Visaera running up to her daughters with her husband in tow “Are you alright?” She turned to Aemma making sure she was not harmed.

“Is she alright maester?” her mother asked look at the maester for answers

“The young princess will be just fine, she has only gotten a small cut.” he paused “However it will scar.”

“Who did this?!” Visenya’s father yelled out angrily “Who dares harm my daughters?!” He looked around the room looking for answers.

“They attacked me!” Aemond yelled out first cause everyone to turn to him as he pointed to his nephews and cousins

“He attacked Baela!” Jace yelled back

“He broke Luc’s nose” Baela yelled out and all the children started joining in except for both Aemma and Visenya.

“Silence!” Her Grandsire yelled out

Everyone grew silent awaiting what will happen next. Seeing the king approaching Aemond, Visenya and Aemma.

“I will have the truth on what happened.” He said, eyeing the three children but mostly Aemond. “Now.”

“Aemma..” The king said “Visenya..” The king asked, looking at his granddaughters, knowing they would not lie to him.

Aemma and Visenya looked at each other before saying “We weren’t there from the start.” Aemma said looking at her feet

“Jace, Luc, Baela, and Rhaena came to our chamber saying Vhagar had been stolen.” Visenya said

 “But we did think it was possible, so we sent them off.” Aemma continued 

“But I got worried so I woke Aemma up, and we went to check on them…” Visenya paused “But they were not in their chambers, so we thought they went to go see Vhagar.” She said “As we made our way out, we saw…” Visenya could not finish

“We saw Aemond holding Jace by the collar with a rock in his hand.” Aemma finally said

“But I stopped him…” Visenya said “And he dropped the rock, I promise you grandfather.”

“Then Jace threw dirt in his eyes and Luc came running with the blade.” Aemma said

“Your son has been maimed and your granddaughter hurt in the process.” Looking up at Rhaenyra, “Her son is responsible.”

“It was a regrettable accident.” Princess Rhaenyra said

“Accident?” Alicent said “The Prince Lucerys brought a blade to the ambush.” She looked around the room as she protested, “He meant to kill my son and your sister’s daughter.” 

“It was my sons who were attacked and to defend themselves.” Rhaenyra yelled out “Vile insults were levied against them.” She informed everyone.

“What insults?” the king asked

“The legitimacy of my sons’ birth was loudly questioned.” Rhaenyra said

“What?” the king asked confused

“He called us basterds,” Jace said

“My sons are in line to inherit the iron Throne, Your Grace.” Princess Rhaenyra said “This is the highest of treasons.” she paused “Prince Aemond must be sharply questioned, so we might learn where he heard such slanders.” 

“Over an insult?” Alicent said in disbelief “My son lost an eye.”

“You tell me, boy.” The king said leaning down to Aemond “Where did you learn this lie?” he questioned

“The insult was training yard bluster.” Alicent defended her son “The lot of boys. It was nothing.”

“Aemond…” The king ignores “I asked you a question.” 

Visenya looked down on her lap, as her mother rubbed her back to comfort.

“Where is Ser Laenor, I wonder? The boys’ father?” Alicent asked “Perhaps he might have something to say in the matter.”

“Yes, where is Ser Laenor?” Ask the king

“I do not know, Your Grace. I-” Rhaenyra paused “Could not find sleep. I went out to walk.”

“Entertaining his young squires, I would venture.”Alicent said

“Aemond” The King paused, “Look at me, Your king demands an answer.” looking at his son “Who spoke these lies to you?”

Aemond hesitate looking at his mother and then back to his father “It was Aegon.” Aemond finally said

“Me?” Aegon said in shock

“And you, boy?” the king made his way to Aegon “Where did you hear such calumnies?” staring down his son “Aegon, Tell me the truth of it!” yelling out making Aegon flinch 

“We know, Father.” Not daring to look him in the eye, “everyone knows,” Aegon paused, “Just look at them.”

“The interminable infighting must cease!” Viserys yelled out, making Aegon flinch once more “All of you!” he said looking around the room “We are family!” He paused “Now make your apologies and show good will to one another.” she ordered “Your father, your grandsire, your kind demands it!”

“That is insufficient,” Alicent turned to her husband. “ Aemond has been damaged, permanently, My King.” she said “ “good will” cannot make him whole.” defending her son

“I know, Alicent, but I cannot restore his eye.” telling his wife

“No, because it has been taken.” She spat out

“What would you have me do?” asking his wife is disbelief

“There is a debt to be paid.” the Queen proclaimed

Visenya was confused, what kind of debt. Squeezing Aemond’s hand, and looking at her mother. Who had only anger and fear in her eyes knowing what Alicent ment.

“I shall have one of her son’s eyes in return.” turning to Rhaenyra

“You cannot be serious…” Visenya’s mother said aloud “He is only a child, your son lost an eye because of an incident, in which my nephew should not have taken a knife in the first place….” She paused. “But you… you are just asking for it.” Saying in disbelief

“My dear wife.” The king said

“He is your son, Viserys.” Alicent sobbed out “ Your blood”

“Do not..allow your temper to guide your judgment.”Taking a step closer to the queen then walking away

“If the king does not seek justice, the Queen will.” Alicent proclaimed “Ser Criston..” Looking at her sworn protector “bring me the eye of Lucerys Velaryon.” Turning to looking at Luc.

Luc hides and goes to his grandfather Corlys before the queen said “ He can choose which eye to kee, a privilege he did not grant my son.” Alicent ordered

“ You will do no such thing.” Rhaenyra said

With this action Visenya stiffened from where she sat and caused Aemma to run to her father.

“Stay your hand.” The king looks at Ser Criston

“No, you are sworn to me!” Alicent yelled out this caused the atmosphere to thicken

“As your protector, my Queen.” Ser Criston said

“Alicent, this matter.. Is finished.” The king said to his wife, “Do you understand?” looking at his wife with anger. “And let it be know: anyone whose tongue dares to question the birth of Princess Rhaenyra’s sons…” He paused, “Shall have it removed.” The king proclaimed.

“Thank you, Father” Rhaenyra looks at her father in gratitude

But this causes Alicent to grab the king’s dagger and walk toward where Lucaerys hid, causing the children to scream out of fear. Making Visenya hold onto her mother, who was shielding both her and Aemond as Aemma hid behind her father with  tears falling from her eyes. As Alicent starts Arguing  with Rhaenyra. Everyone protested for the Queen to stop. A shark ring of the dagger can be heard throughout the room, as Alicent and Rhaenyra broke apart looking at Rhaenyra’s arm dripping of blood.

Aemond stepped forward looking at his mother saying “Do not mourn me mother..” He paused. “It was a fair exchange, I may have lost an eye… But i gained a dragon” walking toward Alicent and embracing her.

Visenya looks at him not knowing what to think before hearing her grandfather, The king yell out

“This proceeding is at an end.” the king said

Everyone made their way back into their chambers, with Visenya being led by her mother back into her room.

~ Time Skip ~

As the family of four entered the twins chambers, and her mother set her on the bed, her father was the one first to break the silence.

“I believe it is time for us to move to The Spine Islands.” Her father said with an angry frown upon his face “You girls will be much safer there.”

“But fath-” Aemma and Visenya Protest

“No, I will not hear it…” Their father approach his daughters ``My duty to you is to keep you safe, you two are my most valuable treasures…” he said as he looks at his daughters “We will return to the Red Keep with everyone to retrieve out items,” He looked up to his wife “I will begin the preparations at once, and inform the King of our decision.” The girls looked at their mother, as their father walked out of the room.

“Mother?” Visenya looked her mother

“ It is done my darlings,” she said looking down on them “It is for the best… You will be able to learn your father’s history and Spine is our home and our lands as well” she paused and looked at her daughters “I’m certain you girls will love it there, as you always do when we visit.”

“But mother…” Aemma started “Everything we have ever known is at Kings Landing, Jace, Luc, even little Joffrey…” 

“Aemond and Helaena..” Visenya said

“I’m not saying we will never go back, we will visit.” Visaera said “And they can send ravens to you, but for now you must get some rest, you girls have had enough chaos for one day.” She said kissing their heads good night.

Visenya was left alone in her and her sister’s shared chamber, as Aemma wanted to sleep with her parents. She sat at the window, looking out at the night sky. When she heard her door opened, revealing Aemond.

“ Are you alright?” He said as he made his way to her

“I should be asking you that.” She gave him a small smile signaling for him to sit next to her

“I’m sorry I got you mixed up with all that.” He said as he sat next to her

“You shouldn’t have done that.” She said as Aemond looked at her you with a shocked expression 

“They attacked me first…” He said “I was only defending myself!”

“Yes, but you only fueled the flames.” she paused and looked at him “I’m not saying it’s your fault, I just saying that you could have handled it differently.” 

Aemond scuffs “Hey, you know I am always at your side” she said as she takes his hand

“I know…” Aemond said

They sat in the quiet, with other the fire making crackling sound in the background.

“My father thinks it’s best for us to move to Spine.” She finally told him

“You are leaving…” Aemond said, making him stand from where he sat “NO!” 

“It’s not up to me, Aemond…” she said looking up at him “My father and mother said it was for the best, and they said you can visit or we will, and we can write to one another.” she said holding one of his hands

“It is not the same,” Aemond protested “I will not be able to see you everyday, I have no one.” He said stepping closer to Visenya

“You will always have me, I promise you.” she said to him as she pulled him into a hug.

[thehorizonlinex]

Sea Legs

Eric teaches Ariel about his world.

Note: Posted this on AO3 a few days ago but forgot to here. A little scene I made up in my head, the first night of Ariel and Eric’s first voyage. Can’t get these two out of my head and am considering starting a short multi-chapter AU fic of them, let me know if you’d be interested!

Still new at this writing stuff so would love any feedback and comments!

~~~~~

The sky exploded with light as the ship’s crew continued to set off fireworks, booming and dazzling against the darkness. The festivities had been going on for nearly an hour, fiddles providing joyous melodies while sailors danced the night away.

Ariel snuggled closer to Eric on the steps, her gaze still focused on the brilliant colors illuminating the sky. They’d danced for almost the whole hour, her new husband teaching her the steps of the many jigs and dances.

“Have you ever seen fireworks before?” Eric shrugged his jacket off his shoulders, placing it delicately around hers.

“Once,” a smile crept onto Ariel’s face at the memory. “When we first met.”

“Oh?”

Ariel giggled. “The night of the shipwreck.”

Eric took a moment to think. “Oh, right before, you mean. My twenty-first birthday.”

He paused again. “Wait…how did you…”

Ariel felt the blush rising in her cheeks, looking down nervously at her lap and picking at a loose thread on her dress.

“I heard you talking to Grimsby,” she explained, her voice barely above a whisper. “I saw the fireworks, and I followed the ship. And I heard you talking. I saw the crew dancing, it was the first time I’d ever seen anything like that.”

She felt his finger touch the underside of her chin, lifting it gently so their eyes met.

“And that’s how you were there to save me.”

“Yes.”

“I had no idea.”

Ariel shrugged, turning her head once again to look out at the dancing crew. It was a miracle they hadn’t all worn out their feet by now.

“You seemed so happy, singing and dancing with all of them. I saw it tonight, too. You’re happiest when you’re on the ship.”

Eric chuckled, his eyes following hers. The crew had gotten ahold of Grimsby, the old man somehow convinced to sway along to the music with Max by his side.

“I hope you like it here,” he said. “I know ship life isn’t for everyone, but whatever’s out there - I want to find it with you.”

“I do like it here,” Ariel said. She turned back to meet his gaze, eyes twinkling in the light. “Though, there is something you could help me with.”

“Anything.”

“What’s a starboard?”

Eric raised a brow. “Come again?”

“The crew, they keep saying starboard. Starboard side, starboard sails…”

“Oh,” Eric laughed, brushing a hand through his dark curls. “It’s right. Port and starboard, that’s what sailors call left and right.”

“Why not just call it left and right?”

Eric paused. “You know…I’m actually not sure. But sailors have lots of words for things no one else calls them by.”

“Like what?”

“Hmm…” Eric took a moment to think, his eyes scanning the ship.

He pointed to the very front of the ship. “The front there, that’s called the bow. And the very back is called the stern.”

“Bow and stern,” Ariel repeated.

“Yeah. Sometimes the stern is called aft, too.”

Ariel nodded.

“The wheel,” Eric pointed out.

“The one I used to kill Ursula.”

“Yes. That’s called the helm.”

Ariel nodded again. “Can I ask one more question?”

Eric drew her closer to him. “You can ask as many questions as you’d like.”

“Why do they call the ship a woman?”

“Oh,” he laughed. “That…it comes from an old sea story. You’d think it’s silly.”

She nudged him. “Tell me.”

“Sailors believe…” he shook his head. “They believe that the king of the seas would be more favorable to girls. So referring to a ship as a ‘she’…well, it’s to appease him.”

Ariel stared at him with wide eyes, before bursting into laughter.

“My father wouldn’t care whether or not the ship was a girl, Eric.”

“Well, yes, I can understand that now.”

“Humans are silly,” Ariel remarked. “But you’re not entirely wrong.”

“No?”

“I do have six sisters. No brothers. So you could say my father does favor girls.”

She straightened up a bit. “Can I practice using the terms?”

Eric tried his best not to smile too hard, at the risk of his new wife potentially mistaking his grin as laughing at her expense. “Of course.”

Ariel pointed to the front of the ship. “The bow.”

She gestured to the back. “Stern. Or aft.”

She pointed left, then right. “Port and starboard.”

The wheel was last. “The helm.”

She took a breath, her brows knitted in deep focus. “I used the helm to turn the ship port side so the bow of the ship drove into Ursula.”

She looked up at him again. “Was that right?”

Eric couldn’t help the beaming grin on his face as he reached in for a soft kiss.

“Perfect. You’re a natural-born sailor.”

He didn’t miss her giggle before the corners of his lips lifted into a slight smirk.

“You were wrong about something though.”

She looked into his eyes, warm brown meeting ocean blue.

“What was it?”

“I’m the happiest when I’m with you.”

[startrekwintergiftexchange]

Gift for remholder - thank you for your patience!

Set shortly after Voyager’s finale, with some hands waved in terms of who’s where and when and no attention paid to the post Voyager/DS9 books :)

This is for remholder, who gave lovely prompts including: seven and odo bonding over not really fitting in/being TOO different. maybe shortly after voyager returns home, seven makes way to DS9 to see firsthand the wormhole. a borg on the station? odo must investigate, yada yada yada. they become decent friends

An Occasional Security Chief and an Ex-Borg

***

It was late in Deep Space Nine’s twenty-six hour cycle, and there were few people in the observation deck. Seven stood with her hands folded behind her back, posture perfect, as she watched Bajor revolve slowly below. It was both… humbling and disheartening to be reminded so perfectly, so simply, of the sheer enormity of the universe through observing one planet. She had been through much in her time as a human child, as a Borg, and then as some amalgam of the two, however her experiences mattered very little overall.

Her main area of interest, the Bajoran wormhole, had not displayed itself for her eyes as yet. She had examined the readings and intended to spend some time on it after breakfast in the morning.

The clearsteel one point two metres from her face radiated the cold of space in her direction. She noted both the hazard tape strapped across the giant air vents and the all too human solution of portable heaters placed along the floor on the other side of the railing. The wispy warmth from the heaters played enjoyably over her lower half. A Borg station would not need such comfort.

She was glad to not be on a Borg station. Though being observed here held potential complexities.

“Seven of Nine,” Seven said coolly as she turned. She inclined her head in the direction of the man in brown. He’d been watching her for some time. “Though you’re probably already aware of my designation.”

(Man? Being? She was vaguely amused, in a far off way, at the thought of it being an insult to classify him ‘an officer’.)

“Odo,” he said in return. “Occasional security chief.”

Her brow furrowed. “You refer to when you are off shift?”

A small rumble. Amusement? “I refer to when I’m off the station, and back on my planet of origin. I used to live here permanently, and now I visit. Much like our previous captain.”

“And you have concerns about an ex-Borg being on your station.”

“It’s not really ‘my’ station.”

And yet he clearly felt it to be his. More so than the exhausted couple in holiday clothes to her right, or the replimat worker to Odo’s right.

“…and?”

“Yes. More 'interest’ than 'concern’, but yes.”

Stated baldly enough, but there was a measure of comfort in it. Seven was accustomed to a certain level of acceptance from her closest fr- acquaintances. Suspicion, distrust, and sometimes violent hatred from others. It was inevitable. What she most disliked was when people used a hundred words to try to disguise what could be said in three. To her surprise, she found herself offering a small smile, and a question.

“Would you care to join me for a coffee?”

***

Two days later…

“I understand Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay had a similar dynamic when Voyager was first lost,” Seven commented, sipping at her Tarkalean tea. Doctor Bashir had recommended it for her minor digestive discomfort, and it was pleasant enough.

Odo’s harrumph this time was thoughtful. She was quite pleased that she’d become able to discern some of the variations in his snorts and harrumphs. Benjamin Sisko turned and raised an arm in greeting to them where they sat at the table on the Promenade. Odo nodded back, and after a moment so did Seven.

“Colonel Kira- Capt- Nerys,” Odo corrected himself twice, and Seven felt her eyes warm. It was endearing. “Nerys had to negotiate some complex personal and political situations, certainly. I can see some similarities.”

“And perhaps between your situation and mine.”

Seven said it quietly, but bluntly enough. Odo valued bluntness, and it was one of the ways in which his company was refreshing. He cared about people, but wouldn’t not say something purely because it might cause offence.

And his expressionless expression showed no sign of irritation. “Certainly. Starfleet consists of many more species than merely humanity, but humanity does tend to dominate. And those in Starfleet, and humans, are……. not repellent, but different.”

She clinked her cup against his lightly.

***

Five days later…

Seven looked up from her padd to see Odo and Kira Nerys - Seven liked her, but was not familiar enough with her to use a personal name, even in her own mind - exchanging a brief embrace before Kira headed towards the turbolift. She raised her eyebrows at Odo in greeting.

“Was your trip pleasant?”

“The weather was miserable, and we spent most of it inside our hotel room, where Nerys slept a great deal and we ate too much,” Odo said, and chuckled. “It was very pleasant.”

***

Six days later…

“I had not realized we both come from conquerors,” Seven said bleakly. “I wish that Voyager had had access to a similar wormhole, but when I consider how many difficulties yours has brought you… it is complicated.”

Sisko bumped up against Odo from the opposite side, while Quark muttered something ridiculous about how he couldn’t ever get any honest work done with all these people here watching. “We always get to choose who we are, even if we have to deal with things others have put on us,” he said, grinning that great grin of his. “Quark! Another round!”

Odo nodded at Sisko, then murmured to Seven. “You and I are both more than the sum of our parts.”

***

Eight days later…

Seven smiled to see Odo waiting for her at the airlock, though it was not surprising. He was due to leave soon, too, after all.

“Looking forward to Earth?”

“Indeed. I have many people to visit, and decisions to make. And how are your concerns regarding an ex-Borg?”

“Entirely gone,” Odo told her, clapping her on the shoulder. “You are welcome to return here any time.”

She did not need his permission. It was still very nice to have it.

The universe was indeed enormous, and humbling, and full of difficulties.

It also held friends for her. Even outside of Voyager.

[luxnebula]

Today! Colours in the Sun!! My favourite Album from Voyager! Let's go!

The album immediately opens with electrifying synths and massive, crunchy guitars that come together in a beautiful kaleidoscope in Colours. I can't help but note the line "leave all, leave I". At a first glance, it seems ungrammatical, but if you remember, one of Voyager's previous albums was titled The Meaning of I. Is that line subtly saying that the band is leaving behind The Meaning of I and entering a new phase? It really does sound like they're starting something new because this is the first album where synths are used more prominently and in the 80's style that we've gotten used to.

However, Voyager hasn't left all of its sound behind, as the second song on the album, Severomance, shows. Severomance has rough, heavy guitars and it wouldn't sound out of place on their previous albums. It's also another example of the new style of melancholic songs that I've talked about before. Severomance is about a breakup, but it's also fast-paced and has the rough guitars that I just mentioned. Very different from what a breakup song from, say, Univers could have sounded like, I believe.

Then there's Brightstar, which is one of my favourite songs from Voyager (solidly in the top 5). I especially love the synths at the start and how the guitars play the same melody at the start of the second verse. The sentimental lyrics and the scifi theme are also excellent. I'm a sucker for sentimental lyrics.

The next song, Saccharine Dream, makes me realise that there's only one slow song on the whole album, Now or Never, which is more of an interlude song. Do you see what I mean by Voyager not having that many slow and (explicitly) melancholic songs now? This is such a fascinating quirk of theirs, especially when there has been a bunch of slow and melancholic songs in their past.

The melodies on this album are so airy, so light, but also complex, harsh and punchy when they need to be. The song structures flow together so well and they take so many twists and turns which both take you by surprise and feel completely natural. I have mild synesthesia, which makes me see music as colours and shapes, and Voyager's music, this album especially, gives me the most vivid colours that I've seen in recent memory. Refer to the gif at the top of this post LOL

Entropy with Einar Solberg of Leprous especially has a lot of textures and moods in play, from the dramatic piano at the start, to Einar's strong, blindingly bright vocals and to the calm, dreamy bit in the middle. It really puts the "prog" in "prog metal", too, just like The City takes The Night from Ghost Mile.

Speaking of Ghost Mile, remember how I told you to remember Disconnected? Colours in the Sun has a song titled Reconnected. I listened both songs back-to-back to see if there's anything similar with them, but, hmm. I don't have much. Both are the heaviest song of their respective albums and that's about it. I don't know much about music theory, but I can try analysing the lyrics, although I'm not very good at it. The first thing that sticks out to me about the lyrics is that Reconnected uses a lot of short lines while Disconnected uses a lot of long lines. That's an interesting contrast to the title. Disconnected uses a lot of big words, while the lyrics in Reconnected are more simple. That's pretty much all that I got. I said that I wasn't good at lyrical analysis, haha... So this paragraph is ✨entirely pointless✨. But it's my blog and I'll write trash if I want to. So there.

Anyway.

Earlier, I called Now or Never an interlude song, but that doesn't mean that it's not a good song. On the contrary, it's one of my favourite tracks on the album. The airy synths give you a nice breathing break right after Reconnected and the mood is just so fresh and calm. It feels like a tender moment right after a Studio Ghibli flying scene. It really nicely sets up Sign of the Times, which also starts with a lot of synths. Speaking of, that song gives me an odd sense of nostalgia. I could swear that I've heard this song before a long time ago, but I only heard this album for the first time last year and the album came out in 2019. I guess it will be a mystery.

After Sign of the Times, we arrive to Water over the Bridge, the second-to-last song of the album. Like Entropy, it also has a lot of textures and moods at play. The twists and turns it takes remind me of Devin Townsend, especially Epicloud.

This brings us to the last song of the album and my top favourite song from Voyager, Runaway. Runaway opens with airy synths and a wistful, almost melancholic feeling, with guitars coming in with emphasis-heavy ear candy. The start is a little slow, but when the chorus hits, it hits good. The mood is so fresh, so airy, so uplifting. It's the perfect song to listen to while driving in a car in a warm summer evening after having had a long day hanging out with your friends or even having a rough day at work. Again, refer to the gif at the top of the post. I do have only one complaint, though. This song is... almost too good to end the album with. It leaves you wanting more and it needs a cooldown song after it. But that's splitting hairs, I think, and I can kind of understand putting it last because Runaway was one of the songs they made it into the finals of Australia Decides.

I love this album. The synths work so well with the guitars and the textures and colours (in the sun, if you will) in the songs are so vivid. I could gush forever about the sounds and moods in the songs. There's only one song that I haven't added to my Voyager faves playlist, that should tell you how much this album slaps. I would recommend this to almost anyone, regardless what genre they most listen to. It's light enough to not repel people who aren't into metal and heavy enough to have something for metal fans also. It's also a good introduction for Voyager, although I think that Fearless in Love makes a better display of their sound and range. But we'll get to that tomorrow.

TL;DR

[brokenhardies]

some future luna moments that are going to be a joy to write

-her first regeneration experience is time of the doctor, which means we get - and i actually have to verbalise it - loud confused screaming over "how the fuck does the doctor know what colour his internal organs are"

-she gets told about waters of mars before it happens - probably by eleven, twelve or fifteen, bc thirteen's not going to open up to anybody - but, because she loves chaos, her way of saying "don't do this" is more like

-the doctor: *grows a god complex due to luna's incredibly terrible attempt at telling him to stop* luna: *surprised pikachu face*

-luna's intro to the twin dilemma is her walking in right as six strangles peri. "hey guys im back--oh." its less funny than it sounds trust me

-"LUNA! PLEASE! SAVE ME! HE'S GONNA THINK YOU'RE AN ALIEN SPY!" "...uh... i'm not an alien spy?"

-another fun post regen story is luna, seething, watching five rip up fours scarf and having to just stand there

-my favourite genre of luna is her walking in as soon as plot happens - so like for the runaway bride she walks in as soon as donna enters the picture, or for voyage of the damned, she walks in and sees the titanic crashed into the tardis

-and because titanic came out 2 years after she died she does not get the countless references that are being made

-brigadier: why is it when something happens its always you three? jo, three and luna: *look guilty*

-tbh when luna finds out missy is the master she immediately has to be held back from biting her ears off because when you've had to deal with this fucker for so long you start to get sick of the doctor forgiving them because "we're childhood friends 🥺 he doesnt know any better"

-luna and clara have a bit of a rivalry bc they both have similar backstories - i.e. being intertwined with the doctor across his lives. tbh whenever they meet up its just;

-multi doctor stories sometimes also become multi-luna stories, like day of the doctor, twice upon a time etc. for the two doctors, both lunas literally have no idea where two & jamie are from

-luna, finding out the timeless child stuff: see! i always knew you were special and that the master was just jealous of you thirteen, going through multiple different traumas at once: 0_0

-luna still bitch slaps tecteun, hard. "sorry doctor, im slapping your mum, she's a bitch"

-i wanna write a story where luna meets a post regen nine bc one tears and two luna completely not getting when nine says "i need to be alone". "well... let's be alone together." "that isnt how this works"

-luna finds out there's two doctors existing at the same time when fifteen shows her his psychic paper and she sees fourteen's thoughts. and she just looks at him like "what did you do"

-luna sometimes gets piggybacked by the doctors - four being the big one who does it to her, although nine sometimes does it and luna finds that strange

[thebearcathideout]

Throwback Thursday: Visiting the U.S. Navy Submarine Museum

On June 18, 2023, the Titan submersible owned by OceanGate descended on its fourth dive down 4,000 meters, or over 13,000 feet, to visit the wreckage site of the Titanic. However during this voyage, it suffered a "catastrophic implosion," and tragically all five lives on board were lost.

Now let's unceremoniously segue into the time I visited the U.S. Navy Submarine Museum in Connecticut a month ago.

The entrance to the “U.S. Navy Submarine Force Museum”, as it says on the sign. Below, it says “Historic Ship NAUTILUS (SSN 571), referring to the post-WWII-era submarine that's docked off-shore. (“SSN” means it’s a nuclear-powered submarine, and its "hull number" is 571.) A “welcome” sign is blinking into view.

I know, I know! This is no laughing matter. But seeing as everyone's suddenly a carbon-fiber expert now, I could see no better time to bring up my visit to this place related to marine engineering.

It's also important to note the difference between “submarines” and “submersibles.” Submersibles, like the OceanGate craft was, need to be transported and supported by nearby ships, as opposed to submarines which are entirely self-sufficient. However, both may be called “subs,” as they both operate underwater.

Me standing next to the sail of a submarine called the "NR-1".

How could you tell this was a “submarine” museum? Well, you find out the moment you pull up. In front, several submarines were on display, including some imperial Japanese subs captured during WWII! Some were mini-submarines (or as they’re crudely called in the Navy, “midget” submarines), and some were originally large but now deconstructed for display. For example, do you see what I'm standing next to above? That's the SAIL of that submarine. If it was that big, imagine how big the original submarine was!

A zoomed-in label in front of the NR-1, with the sail circled in red. Do you see that? THAT'S what I'm standing next to.

Next, we walked into the museum proper. A television screen showing a muscly 3D-rendered sailor greeted us, and told us the importance of the Navy heading into the “War on Terror” in the present day. (If that's what it calls the “present day,” imagine how long this museum hasn't been updated for!) We also saw artifacts like a giant submarine hung from the museum ceiling, or a recovered imperial Japanese flag covered in outdated Kanji characters.

Left: My dad standing next to a submarine hung from the ceiling. Right: A flag that used to fly on an imperial Japanese ship.

Next, we entered a theater that was playing a movie called "Museum Theater: A Century of Silent Service: Part I." This 45-minute propaganda film from the George H. W. Bush-era showed mostly submariners who were successful in their operations, or died heroically for their country.

One interesting fact I learned from it is that the first submarine—the USS Plunger—was invented and proposed to the U.S. Navy with the express purpose of attacking enemy ships. It's strangely reflective of human nature that kids learn these during their childhoods as cool-looking, yet they're never told it was invented for violence. (I guess it's not hard to figure out if you think about it, but still.) But look at how far we've come! Sub crafts have diversified so much, deep-diving submersibles (first achieved in 1960) are able to reach the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

Also, the movie showed that many accidents occurred in the early history of this specific branch of naval engineering, which probably left viewers with the impression, "these problems must have gotten fixed later... right?" Well, most of them probably were. However... I can't speak for all of them.

Inside the USS Nautilus. On the left is me standing next to a kitchen with coffee machines, and on the right is a room that loaded torpedoes for deployment.

Anyways, we climbed on-board the USS Nautilus. It's a "nuclear submarine," which means it’s powered by nuclear energy, and that's better than using fossil fuel energy because those submarines need to surface constantly. All active U.S. submarines are now nuclear-powered. The USS Nautilus was the first nuclear submarine, and now the inside was converted into a tourist attraction, with many of the rooms having a see-through wall so we could see what goes on inside. (Also, some of the rooms had pin-up girls on the wall.)

The reason I'm bringing this up is while I was following the OceanGate story recently, I found a person in the comments of a Daily Mail video sharing information as an “ex-nuke submariner.” This person, an expert in something I found out about at the museum, was using his expertise to help people be better-informed about the Titan incident 🫡

The ex-nuke submariner, helping inform people in the comments of a news video.

So, what were your thoughts on the recent Titan incident? What were your initial reactions upon finding out the news? Or do you know someone in the Navy, who might recognize something I mentioned in this post? Do they also have a different perspective on the Titan incident than other people?

[samthetrekkie]

I'm a bit late, but I've finally managed to watch the first episode of season 3 of picard. I thought the cinematography was great in this one, especially compared to season 1. (Idk what they were thinking in that season in general.) and I'm so glad we're back in the prime universe at the "present" and just seeing what the new technology and uniforms are like, you know?

I've once seen a post about annika hansen being akin to a deadname to seven. of course that's a bit of a stretch, but I feel exactly the same way about using her birth name! and seeing how uncomfortable it makes her really highlights the level of discrimination by cpt shaw. and I have said this before but seven in a starfleet uniform is such a full circle moment for me, I could tear up.

I still don't understand though, why they have to introduce female main characters as renegades, like seven before and crusher now? probably to make them seem more "badass" - but the producers remember janeway, right? you can be in starfleet and kind of a rule follower and still be badass.

it also made me so happy when seven said that apart from picard, janeway was the one to talk her into rejoining starfleet. imagining them to reconnect is such a pure thought. I wish they would bring janeway in once, but I honestly doubt it. they could at least give us a little voyager score though, like they do with tos and tng in this!

all in all I really liked the first episode. it was very different from season 2, which I had surprisingly enjoyed, but I'm not mad they went back into the more classic star trek direction (at least in this episode). I think it would've been even greater for me, if I had recognized all the tng references - but just seeing seven being seven makes me so ridiculously happy already. I hope they don't make her all renegade in the end again, though.

p.s.: I have mentioned before how I think raffi and seven have no chemistry imo, but it is kind of problematic that the entirety of their relationship so far has only happened off season. for the second time now. again, I don't need to see their relationship unfold, but it is a bit of queer baiting to tease it and then show absolutely nothing real…

p.p.s.: I have decided against making current seven my new profile pic bc then I'd have to change my header color as well and I prefer science teal over command red, sorry :/

[mrbensonmum]

TV Shows - Bull VI

So, the fourth season of Bull comes to an end, and it's less spectacular than I thought. I'm not sure why, but somehow I was expecting a bigger bang. The second season ends with a severely battered Jason Bull lying in front of the courthouse because, due to his lifestyle, he suffered a heart attack. The end of the third season is a bit exciting but not quite as spectacular, so I thought there would be another big finale, but that wasn't the case.

I don't want to say that the episode was harmless because it absolutely wasn't. Taylor had to endure a lot, and that was already the second, if you count it, maybe even the third episode where a case puts her in the spotlight. No one else on the team has received so many cases and episodes. As always, not a complaint, just an observation.

However, I'm also torn here because one part of me would like to see more of Dr. Jason Bull and his team, while the other part is quite satisfied with these four seasons. Both sides are actually quite balanced, which rarely happens to me.

I'll leave out my usual points here; thanks to the other posts, they should be well known. A new addition is that sometimes I wish they would integrate Izzy and Little Bull (I can't remember the baby's name right now) more. A mix of Papa Bull and the Bull from season one, I'm starting again, would be something exciting.

But otherwise, I really enjoyed the series and liked watching it. A big point is that it's not so long. I don't know, CSI: Las Vegas was somehow intense with its 15 seasons, and since then, I've been a bit scared of such long series. At some point, it feels like a strange burden, and you "have to" keep watching. Of course, I'm only talking about myself, but I still find it strange. On the other hand, you don't have the long search in the streaming services when you want to watch something else or new. That's sometimes even more exhausting and stressful than the mentioned burden.

I'm curious when the last two seasons will become available. I calculated over the weekend that I pay 30€ for streaming services, and that's definitely too much for me. I'd like to cut something there, but I'm not sure what. This is making me wish for a service that has everything, but with all the chaos of licenses here in Europe and Germany, that dream will probably always remain just that, a dream.

At the moment, due to May 4th, Star Wars is still predominant. I've watched the movies and am considering which series I might still watch. I think I'm missing a season of The Mandalorian, and otherwise, I haven't seen anything from Ahsoka, Andor, The Bad Batch, Rebels, and Clone Wars, and I think there are still quite a few series missing, but those are the ones that come to mind right now.

For this reason, I'm not exactly sure what will come next here. I have to admit, Dr. House has been the most fun and has also generated the most resonance. Voyager was also good, but at the moment, I'm lacking a bit of the nerve for it. However, Deep Space Nine would also be due again because especially with all the Star Trek stuff that has come and is coming, I like to refer to DS9 again and again, but I haven't watched it in a long time.

[whatifthisstormends]

He shook the wood shavings into the fire, where they caught at once, curling into brightness and sending up a clean, sweet smoke. I came to stand behind him, watching them burn, and put my hands on his shoulders, warm and solid under my fingers. He leaned his head back against me and sighed, closing his eyes as he relaxed in the warmth. I bent my head and kissed the whorl of the cowlick on his crown. "Mmphm," he said, and reached up a hand to take mine. "Ken, it works the other way, too." "What does?" "The stubbornness of a mind that willna let go." He squeezed my hand and looked up at me. "While we were parted, how many times did ye tell yourself I was dead, Sassenach?" he asked softly. "How often did ye try to forget me?" I stood motionless, hand curled round his, until I thought I could speak. "Every day," I whispered. "And never."

“A Stubborn Mind” #DailyLines #BookNine #AStubbornMind (Outlander series) - Diana Gabaldon

[oddaodd]

· Wailing Teapots ·

Summary: When Tommy begins suspecting of Y/n's true allegiances he goes and questions her in her apartment only to discover a dark secret. (Angst/Fluff)

Warnings: Implications of abuse. (Nothing too graphic but just in case).

Author's note: I'm back! It feels so good to write again! My life has been a bit hectic lately, but I hope I can continue to make time for my writing because it honestly feels like coming back home after the most exhausting of voyages. Anyhow I hope y'all enjoy this and have the loveliest of days. ❤️

·

Three strong knocks on the door stole Y/n’s attention from the live fire burning in her fireplace. With quiet feet she tiptoed to the door and placed her hand on the doorknob and stood still hoping to hear something that could tell her who it was behind the door, but she could only hear her own heartbeat beating violently in her ribcage as she held her breath.

She slightly hated herself for being afraid, but she couldn’t not be afraid, not with all the letters that had been delivered to her home.

“I know you’re in there Y/n”

As soon as she recognized the voice as Tommy’s, she finally breathed again before partly opening the door a weak smile gracing her features when she took in the sight of him. Before she could ask him what he was doing there he pushed the door open and allowed himself inside.

The smile vanished from her face in an instant and she quickly closed the door. There was something different about him, something that made the hairs on her arms stand up in trepidation. His eyes didn’t look like they had done a few nights prior when he took Y/n to the outskirts of town for a walk. The kind of walk in which one shares the kind of conversations that makes people grow closer together, the kind of walk which ends with a gentle kisses and fleeting touches.

“This is a nice place” he commented taking off his peaky cap, not even sparing Y/n a glance as he began walking slowly through the apartment which though small and plain held a considerable amount of expensive yet tasteful looking knick knacks that brightened up the whole place despite the old furniture that had beed there when Y/n first moved in.

“You couldn’t have waited for a formal invitation, could you?” She asked in a light tone still standing by the door, in the hope that it could change Tommy’s odd aura, but he ignored her question all together

“Almost too nice, wouldn’t you agree?” He asked picking up a vase and examining it before finally turning to look at Y/n.

“Tommy?” She asked, not really knowing why was he acting so strange.

“I know I pay you fair wages” he began, putting the vase down fixing his eyes on the fireplace where small traces of burnt paper rested “but I highly doubt you were able to make yourself of such an array of treasures with what I pay you.”

“All of this came with me from America.” She said feeling like she ought to explain herself and though her answer was an honest one, Tommy didn’t seem convinced, nevertheless, he hummed in mocking understanding before clearing his throat .

“Aren’t you gonna offer me tea?”

“Sure…where are my manners?” she said with a nervous laugh before walking to where her stove was and putting a kettle on.

Tommy followed her closely and drew a chair from her flimsy kitchen table before sitting down and taking notice of her shaky hands as she tied around a bit in the kitchen with her back to him as he sat on her favorite chair.

“Wish you had told me you were coming, I would have..”she began as she opened her pantry to put away some bread.

“You’ve been burning letters” he interrupted, not being able to shake off the image of the paper remains.

Y/n stilled for a moment before closing her pantry, thing which he noticed.

“Yeah, I don’t have the room to keep every single letter I get ” Y/n said, a defensiveness lingering softly in her words.

“I agree” Tommy said in a cold tone “specially when you are getting so many of them. Paul tells me he delivers at least 10 a week here” he continued, referring to the mailman who after being questioned by Tommy forgot all about post confidentiality.

“They are my mother’s” Y/n stuttered out.

The teapot then wailed, making her jump slightly before going to remove it from the stove and finally turning around to go and pour Tommy a cup.

“Right” Tommy said, his eyes not leaving Y/n’s figure as she poured the tea.

“Yeah, she’s ever so passionate about plants, been telling me all a-a-about her new greenhouse.” She continued pressured by Tommy’s heavy stare and silence.

Tommy offered a small cynical smile that Y/n didn’t see, she didn’t want to look at him. She felt like crying for she realized just then how suspicious she looked.

The sound of the chair being drawn again teased at Y/N’s ears, forcing her to look up at Tommy who was calmly walking towards her. She had never been afraid of him, but she couldn’t help but back away as he inched closer to her, her eyes widening.

“Who is Clyde Attenborough?” He asked producing another letter from his pocked like the many ones Y/n had been receiving for a while now. Same stamps and everything.

Color drained from her face at the sight of the letter and she found herself unable to produce an answer as her back came in soft contact with her pantry.

“What does he know? He asked.

“Where I live” Y/n whispered sorrowfully as a tear finally slipped down her cheek. Her eyes being for mercy.

“What have you been telling him?”

“Nothing” she answered truly.

“I bet he pays generously to know how the company works”

“I swear im not working for anyone else” Y/n stuttered, finally understanding why Tommy was so suspicious. Being his secretary, she knew plenty about the skeletons the family kept.

“Then why are you crying?” He pressed.

“Because you’re scaring me.”

Her words seemed to have an effect on Tommy for he immediately backed away, throwing the letter on the table, his back to her.

”I’m not gonna hurt you” he stated, beating himself up for corralling Y/n like that. His voice much less menacing than mere seconds ago. “Who is Clyde Attenborough?”

“I haven’t been honest with you” she finally confessed sniffing. To hell with everything.

At this Tommy turned around to look at her an unpleasant mix of emotions swimming in his eyes.

“Im married” she sobbed “Clyde’s my husband”

For the first time in a long time, Tommy was caught off guard.

“I came to Small Heath because I ran away from him, I figured he’d never find me but..” She said taking the letter in her shaky hands as if the thing were to blow off in any given second “I guess I was wrong. I-I don’t know how he found me”

She shifted her teary gaze from the letter to a shocked Tommy “I swear im not passing information” she chuckled sadly, the knot in her throat choking her a little.

Tommy stood glued in the same spot, not knowing what to do. His world had come crashing down when he began suspecting of Y/n’s alliances after Polly suggested he look into it. A pretty American girl, moving to a grey English town, taking up a job that was exhausting at best. It reminded him a little too much of Grace.

Now that he knew the truth , he didn’t feel any better.

“Is he dangerous?” He found himself asking after a few seconds of silence.

Y/n sniffed as she walked to her fireplace “I wouldn’t have left if he wasn’t” she said as she threw the letter into the crackling flames.

“Is he in Birmingham?”

“He keeps writing that he’ll come get me if I don’t go back, but im not sure” she answered.

Tommy fought the urge to go up to her and take her in his arms and instead put his peaky cap back on before heading for the door.

“I’m sorry” he whispered before stepping out of her place, The guilt of intimidating her in her own house gnawing at his insides and the newfound anger her husband created present on his drive home.

The next day Y/n noticed as she peeped out the window two men, both in peaky caps standing at the entrance of her apartment complex.

Three more days passed and Y/n was again surprised tby the sound of three knocks on her door as she read one evening.

“Its me, Y/N” Tommy’s voice flowed through the door shortly after the knocks.

Y/n quickly got off her couch and made her way to open the door. Her eyes falling on Tommy’s apologetic features.

“It’s dealt with” he said in all seriousness. The thick accent she loved so much vibrating through her ears.

As soon as she registered what Tommy had just said she let out a strained breath, her lips turned into a tired smile and a lone tear slipped out her misty eyes.

“Wanna come in?” She asked after a few seconds, feeling happier than she had felt for days.

“Is this a formal invitation?” He asked, a soft smile tugging at his lips, relieved that his antics from a few days prior hadn’t maimed Y/n´s trust.

At his question she just smiled, looking at him lovingly before taking hold of his hand and pulling him into her apartment before pressing her lips to his in a soft yer passionate manner. Without breaking the kiss, Tommy then closed the door.

·

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy @writeroutoftime @babylooneytoonz @lilymurphy03 @slytherinicequeen

[stranger-chichka]

Back to the Future 3 & the Forever Clock in Stranger Things 3

At first I just started noticing this windmill, which kinda looks like Dustin's Forever Clock, in the background near the Clock Tower that is paralleled to the Hawkins library, and also near Doc's love interest's house. Dustin is associated both with the Forever Clock and the library.

Lately it's mentioned as the "point of no return" in Doc's plan of getting back to the future, and I wonder what would it mean for the plot in Stranger Things. Can’t be a coincidence.

In s3 Dustin gives the Forever Clock to Will with the words "very useful in the apocalypse" and Will looks very interested in this invention. Also, considering the fact that it's made of Coke and knowing about Regular Coke representing Mileven and New Coke - Byler in s3 (@ghostgirlinsatinirlinsatin and @awhstrangerthings are geniuses!!!), makes everything even more interesting.

And why it's always Dustin? Library references? Dustin.

Nov. 6th!!!

Five at a time. Curiosity voyage. Time travel foreshadowing? Five of them are going into the Upside Down. It's definitely not about s4, because we have 4 people there (Nancy, Steve, Robin, Eddie). But also the librarian says "you already have 5 books checked out", so maybe there will be more people going into the Upside Down for some sort of mission.

Electricity references? Dustin. Water references? Dustin. Here we have wind. I don't really remember any references to the wind before in the show, but @awhstrangerthings in one of their posts pointed out that the Mind Flayer is actually made of wind and dust. Now we know it's controlled by 011/Henry/Vecna. And look what @elkdiaries posted.

I haven't properly analysed Coke references in s4 to connect the dots, but maybe @aemiron-art has something to say, he's really into Coke theory. I remember only one New Coke appearance - on the clock during Mileven fight above Mike’s head = he’s thinking about the relationship between him and Will at that moment.

There’s Regular Coke during the reunion scene, where see El's disappointed because he wrote “From, Mike” again.

At Rink o Mania we see Regular Coke 2 times - when Angela takes El to the roller rink and Mike shows zero concern about it, ignoring the fact she definitely looks scared and uncomfortable near Angela (she even looked at him for help, come on!!!), and when we see devastated El after the accident, sitting alone and Mike, again, showing zero concern.

Again, we see Regular Coke during dinner, when Mike says “She didn’t look fine.”

One more reference I can remember is during their interrupted talk at Surfer Boy Pizza, where Mike starts talking about their fight and we don’t happen to know what he wanted to say, because Argyle brings pineapple pizza (pineapple pizza and New Coke both represent Byler) and Mike looks very uncomfortable with it.

What I think about it is that only when Mike accepts what kind of relationships he wants with El (platonic) and Will (romantic), only when the three of them (=the Forever Clock) are in good terms will they be "powered and useful in the apocalypse" (= in defeating Vecna).

In Back to the Future 3 Doc says to Marty: "Once we pass this windmill, it's the future or bust" = The future depends on the relationships between El, Mike & Will. Byler = future, Mileven = bust (a complete failure here, but it also means woman's breasts, which makes sense, right?).

By the way, I also wrote posts about Back to the Future 1 parallels, check the pinned post <3

[spankpjm]

Sometimes I feel like the only person who believes this, but I really think JK knew that he was gay, and likely had a crush on Jimin, from the beginning. One of the first things I noticed from watching early content was JK's disinterest in women! I think it was in American Hustle Life that he told the story of having a girlfriend when he was younger and waiting to feel the way he thought he was supposed to, then ultimately breaking up with her after not speaking to her for 200 days. Not to mention the grapes over girls comment, his apparent early crush on namjoon (which was pretty much confirmed for me when the clip of JK gushing about joon was recently played for all the members... Poor boy looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him WHOLE 🤭) saying if he saw a pretty girl he'd "walk right past her," etc... Even in 2019 during his wine VLive when he talked about how his parents always accepted him for who he was and never tried to change him... I dunno, before I even thought JK was interested in Jimin, I thought he was likely gay.

I think in the early days both JK and JM were very concerned with creating their "hip hop personas" and projecting (a very stereotypical, very cringe version of) masculinity because they wanted to be successful idols. I also think the age gap was a problem for Jimin, and possibly also Big Hit. It's hard for me to believe that the fandom could see Jikook circling each other and suspect a budding romance as early as 2014 without anyone else at their very small, very close knit company noticing! And I'm not talking hindsight bias, I'm talking about ARMYs posting Jikook compilation videos very early in the fandom!

Sidenote: I also think BigHit has tried to be pragmatic, protective, and supportive: that they approved that Coming Of Age Ceremony performance at all says a lot to me. And, again maybe it's just me reading into things, but the very first Bon Voyage coincided with JK's coming of age... and they've all been filmed in very queer friendly locations... And the atmosphere surrounding Jikook in Bon Voyage...👀 My sister and I literally refer to that series as the BTS Gaycations... Lol but anyway, I digress.

I think JK has always known he's gay, and that what people see as him struggling with his sexuality was him wanting to protect himself, his persona, his career, and his group. I got more and more convinced of this as JK got older and started to do more to assert his identity as a gay man, not just his relationship with Jimin. Maybe that's why some jikookers can get a little myopic when it comes to JK? Or so easily offended by what they see as coldness or disinterest in JK toward Jimin, when Jimin is so open with his affection to all his members, including the one he happens to be in a relationship with. It does seem like many Jikookers start off as Jimin biased, because JM wears his heart for JK on his sleeve, whereas, at least to my eyes, JK is a lot more reticent, and prefers to be more in control when it comes to revealing the nature of their relationship.

I know I've been rambling but I really do want to know what you think about something in particular 😅.

First, if it wasn't obvious, I believe jikook are in a relationship and have been since JK came of age; I think they became seriously committed to each other in 2017 (I don't think JK would've created and released something as public and declarative GCF in Tokyo unless they were serious) and a permanently committed in 2019 (Again, I don't think JK would've kissed Jimin on stage in LA or permanently tattooed JM on his ring finger if they were just fooling around,) so to me Jikook is settled. Their couple moments may have gotten more spread out, but they've also gotten a lot louder imo.

Here's the thing: I think JK does public displays for Jimin. I think those times when JK has gone all out to show ARMY that, yes, he's in love with JM, were him speaking JM's love language. In the early days I think JK was content to have their relationship stay between the two of them, but because of Jimin's natural tendency to affectionately demonstrate his love, it left things looking one-sided. I think Jk's gotten more proactive in showing his own affection for Jimin .

However, imo, JK seems way more concerned with asserting that he's gay. I think he really wants ARMYs to know that he likes men and only men. As much as he's done to declare his love for Jimin, I think he's done twice as much to tell us, his fans, that he is gay.

Just today, when given the choice between two female leads in a drama, he chose the male lead, and people still tried to say he said that because he didn't want to start a controversy or dating rumors. Even many of those who acknowledge Jikook's relationship have a tendency to say JK is "Jimin-sexual," despite all the things that JK has explicitly said or done, past and present, that indicate otherwise.

I started making a list off the top of my head but I'm sure you're aware of many instances, and this is already 10 pages long.

I dunno, I feel like I'm on an island over here thinking JK is telling us he's gay and nobody will listen, especially after today. Just wanted to know your thoughts

Ooof anon this was a lot and I think I’ll come back to it and add more of my opinion when I can articulate my words better! But I agree I do think that he knew he was into boys, but at the same time didn’t really say it out loud you know what i mean?? Like he knew he was different but didn’t speak on it, because he didn’t know how people would take it at the time he cared too much about the image he was showing, I know what you mean about the boy crush, but I have a hard time coming to terms whether it was an actual crush crush or an “I admire you and look up to you crush” a lot of me thinks that JM was his first REAL crush. I’m not much of anyone to speak on the feelings that come with being conflicted about my sexuality (or that or gay men) besides my own experience, but I’ve talked to the gay men in my life and a lot of them said that they knew, they knew and it was hard to come to terms with sometimes, and JK being so young ( even tho I don’t think coming to terms with who you like romantically and sexually has to do much with age) he was in the spotlight most of his time growing up, in a place that’s very homophobic, and an industry that relies on mostly the whole boyfriend effect (if that makes sense lol)

I DO AGREE COMPLETELY that I do think he noticed these feelings, or attraction to men, buuuutttt I don’t think he was at terms with taking action on them yet, that he didn’t want to speak out loud of them yet. I hope this is all making sense my last post about fetus JK and JM was very rushed I didn’t explain myself completely and as well as i intended to. ANYWAYS over all I do agree with you on most points.

I ALSO AGREE with the fact that people don’t acknowledge a lot of his not very straight actions, I think so many people are stuck on his masculine energy and just assume that masculine energy is enough to say “hey I’m masculine so I am straight” which is totally false and some people are very bad at noticing that JK isn’t all that masculine just because he’s strong and just because he works out, and boxes doesn’t mean he’s masculine he’s always been open about being very gender neutral, and we have plenty of 💅🏼 JK and i LIVE FOR IT. I think a lot of the people that don’t wanna come to terms with the fact that JK avoids woman (for the most part) and never shows any interest is rooted with a lot of internal homophobia, and it kills their fantasy of having a shot with him it kills their delusions.

I’ll be on that island with you and a lot of us actually because most of us that aren’t delusional, most of us that know realistically we have zero chances LOL and those of us notice he’s actions and actually listen to his words, know he is not straight, and if he ever does say he is then shoot me in the foot damn it.

I will come back to this post and add some more tomorrow after I get some sleep 💤 I would also love to invite you into my inbox so we could discuss more 💜

Okay I’m back to add something else already lol, i also do believe they’re relationship started in 2017 I think the GCF was kinda like an open homage to that; like I said in my last post I think in a way it was a “video speaks louder than words” type of thing, showing JM and his affection towards him without saying it straight forward and most of us got that hint right away! And about him picking the make actor YES i also noticed that, and yeessss I think he was definitely saying something without saying it because overall he chose that question over many, and one think jk is not is clumsy lol nothing he does is a coincidence to me I’ve learned that over time it’s very calculated, I think he will continue to hint at us and tell us without telling us till he’s ready to say it straight forward but at the same time he doesn’t owe it to us either, so there’s no rush, I know we all want to be correct but at the end of the day it’s all up to him, and we will be here supporting him the WHOLE WAY

I hope all of this is coming out sounding the way I want it too, sometimes I think faster than I type and it’s a little difficult 😅

P.S if you ask me for my opinion on this I think they’re end game. 🤷🏻‍♀️ call me delulu IDC. To me they’re forever.

[jesuisgourde]

Mentions of Carl in Books Of Albion

Here is a list of various mentions of Carl in Peter’s journals. I figured these were of specific interest so I thought I’d make a compilation post. I’ve probably missed some since I went through the transcript fairly quickly, but these are most of them. Some are definite references, some are just things written by Carl in Peter’s journals. Some are very likely indirect references to Carl, but they may be references to others; I’ve made the assumption due to the context of surrounding pages. Also, Tumblr has ruined my fancy formatting from the doc, so I’m sorry if some of it looks weird.

Books Of Albion (physical book)

The Albion is still on course, though the route is annoyingly prone to be more akin to a Sid James Mystery Tour than a plain-sailing maiden voyage. Tension on the ship as ever, but more body mass to absorb & ease it. Steve sings. Justin plays bass. Carlos & I stoke the furnace. For now this is the format.

Without any clue as to the basics of self-sufficiency, Carlos is a slight burden - but still a richly talented and quite noble old stick who goes well out of his way not to prise anything out of my weak grasp.

Kellijean, Carlos, Francesca & myself all slept upstairs. Made my way home with a hoover, carrying it around my neck like the arm of a drunk friend.

9/3/1999 4....3 days to see out before my 20th birthday. I have asked Carlos to cancel my surprise party. He is a concern, I noted before: 'MY FRIEND IS RISING, PACKING HIS GUITAR, LEAVING ME. HE IS A GHOST AT THE MOMENT HE WALKS AWAY. DOES HIS SOUL CARRY THIS TORTURE FOR PAST MISDEEDS UNPUNISHED? DOES HE EXIST IN THE SINGULAR? MY FRIEND, A PROUD AND LONELY YOUNG MAN. FIGHTING GODS AND DEMONS. RUNNING ALWAYS FROM DEATH."

Strangely, I brought my guitar with me. Perhaps I can busk across. How foolish, naive or impracticle am I? How adventurous, capricious or inspired am I? where am I.... Through the peephole on the moving train, all I can see is that the place is quite long in letters and begins with an S. I think of Lorraine, Carlos, Francesca not at all....not of anything. I am conscious only of the desire to live.

First night of the club tonight. Justin, [illegible], Carlos & I are doing it. Came home from work & all my records are gone. stormed to the cambridge and berated the pigman, after a brief and bitter little exchange with his boss.

Francesca appeared before me outside the Prince Charles Cinema. She raced to me and kissed Carl.

Sometime close to the day that Carlos & I watched 'Love And Death on Long Island' (and afterwards paraded through the tea rooms of Picadilly) we both filled in application forms and were tres excited to be invited to the same group 'interview' - twas more like an audition though. I got the part. Carlos never. This did not bring any animosity - we both know that success for either of us is magnified a million times if it is shared by us both. But hey ho and never you mind the acute psychological burdens this most splendid and dark relationship heaps upon me.

I put the sick pig to bed. am out stalking... singing to meself & walking on me heels. your Love has made misery distant. to London quantum ille canis est in fenastra?

The new Albion rooms careworn & glamorous as any before.  Already the Arcadian dream feels the pinch. Rough trade visitations... today is that day that we longed for & what of it? Piggle sleeps on the cradle-rocking central line.

But we do find ourself in reflective mood this cold christmas 23rd day of december, 2002. One ragged roaring hell of a year wherein The Libertines made good friends & had some right old knees ups to boot. & they can't take that away from us. I wonder where Carlos is this night. Perhaps he has fled to the wilds of Hampshire to be with his family. So long Marianne, it's time that we began.... the Albion rooms has spent the last three weeks being skag & boned up to the nines, and what tales I might tell.

day one in the Arcadian retreat, I awoke congealed & unhealed on the on the sprawling soft leather of the couch where Alan, Carl, Goatee, & I my last awake self watched headhunters awhile, I slept.... Wales greets me, we are in the hem of the Brecon Beacons' shirt Day 2 I come into myself for the very first time, not liking my appearance but aware of evolution & forever changes. Loathe to write & line even. Cherez Some Friday and the black hills surround us. Carl has gone under the knife today, after smashing his own face in on the glass sink shelf, after a harsh night of drinking, smoking and rowing.... "'ere what about us?" take an easy graceful sideways position.

Autumn barricading itself in subtlety in colours mixed and matched, steady days like a yawn, the nights silent stillborn cry for the very dawn. Bales of hay strapped up on the M4 broken bones on the roadside, weathered by the years cars crossing lanes like crabs. Biggles stirs in his sleep coughing. Again: a time for valour. A time of whispered events. Now faded with the passing years.

Christmas 2003 comes and goes in sweeping highs & unfamiliar agonies. Think back to the 23rd & the christmas do at the Rhythm factory, Carl at the end of the 3-man show in his jeans conducting the crackers crowd in some beagled ritual. spurring them on to further

"I was thinking of you..." he says "I always think of you..." we natter awhile on matters trivial and terrifyingly important alike. He wanders in and out from room to room. A wolf in his rooftop cave, elongated lair, wild hair and unfathomable eyes. I am begging him for words...longing for the exaltation & infinite glorious morning that comes like a shadow hot on the heels of a new song.

Image, bottom left: a torn out magazine photo of Carl with the title "Carl Barat: 'I'll love Pete 'til my dying day'.”

when you talk about your brother lover since you walked out on each other I know I'm a mess me, and that how when you but when you test me & why kiss and carress me and then I need for nothing more than maybe some wine the taste of my beloved is vodka & ciggies

Through The Looking Glass

You and I my love - we shall set off together very soon. A voyage unto the unknown - away from here, this wonderful place, these horrors..... "the waltz of the snowflakes" from the nutcracker suite Bones Bill has listened to nothing else but since QPR were sponsored by Classic FM. In his blind allegiance to west Londons finest, the logical hooligan was enraptured by the surprising soothes of this new music. Carlos you distressing little bug. Walking out like that. What can the title be for that odd little track Steve, Tom & I knocked up last night. Whitechapel Wonderland? Certainly I need to pay tribute to this wonderful place. This is my perfect summer....hidden away here.

As it stands or slouches The Libertines consists of Steve Bedlow, Bill Bones, Carl Barât & myself.

Let's get beagled & play pacman & read to me of the countess of Pembroke's Arcadia "D'yknow what pisses me off?" "What?" "You"

Image: a yellow post-it note. In Carl's handwriting in biro, a scribble in the top left corner and then "? shut eyes" in the centre.

NEVER NEVER sucking on a cigarette - where did that crowd come from. All money for the slot machines, to sell you back your dreams that's fine in hell so & I'm going with you that's fine with you we'll try it again, but my heart wont sing if my stomachs all untold cause she buckelled my spine [Written in Carl's handwriting] tattered [Written in Peter's handwriting] & tattooed my soul will soul old oh some wonder didn't you always say we gonna see better days so why we building them up & knocking them down it's always living them up & shooting them down with you knocking back [Written in Carl's handwriting] I believe everything you say I believe there'll be A Brighter Day

shit moosic at de foundary - until Spaniel & spaniel take over of course. Then commenceth the grand cabaret & oh what a night.

Let me on / let me off that fucking train. I cant stand the pain & the strain all over a gain c'mon a rush & a push & the land that we lie dead on is all ours. My friend loathes & despises the hammersmith & city line & all those other routes to false fame.

[Written in Carl's handwriting] Pity the fool you made like fear trod all over his sandwiches put grass down his back but here he comes again with the girls in tow what a horrorshow! [Written in Peter's handwriting] A protestant with the housekeeping? A catholic in the bedroom? A satanist in the bedroom?

[Written in Carl's handwriting] In cold silence She was silhouetted Her backdrop the twilight thames and this verdigris rail she reminded me the world was going to end fire in the west to have lived and to have loved to die arm in arm our bodies destroyed we'd come to no harm Do you hear the slurred whisper rising on the wind? Good-bye - love forever

Skint & Minted

feeling revolutionary? or consumed with self pity? dose yourself I remember you you're the one who filled my nose with glue so many kisses ago

sometimes your hard faced, makes me wanna hold you tight & kiss you till you're at least pretending to smile. At least pretending that the smallest ever thing can even be made right. Not living in a pantomime. fragile thing Cigarettes appear out of thin air

I you loved him when he was on the dole & when he was the king of rock n roll & you'll love him when he's buried in a hole. now here's a tale, a tale I will tell of blood & theft & oh sweet love & all the things we do so well

I cant believe how you spoke to me earlier you meanie. Anyway happen fuckin new year you fickle heartless rogue. Ex. I love you you sweet silly thing! flageolet. heres to 2002...hip hip

Albion 47

Drove up to the palace at night with Carl, perched on the kerb as pre-dawn mist spread thick over London, clouding the lights. The only the we have in common anymore, apart from the band, is that we both wear safety pins in our ears.

Campaign Of Hate

Carl, Gary & John... ha. Carl mumbles very quietly about it needing a little more dirt or aggression. Talk about a contradiction in terms. Shuffling about, mumbling, talking about spark! I drifted off into soho, old border. Saw sailer, bought some weed. Guinness. Do I wake or sleep, creaking door. Oh Stella! Don't worry her.

'The Making of the Libertines' Tax Exiles The irresistable rise of The Libertines' 'The Rise & fall of the Roman Empire' Where's Carlos? (the brackle)

my twin he pretends to be me walks abroad lies to broads locks me in at home tied to a like burrowed in a hole smoke & choke alone at home    rocks to rocks chewing on my bone, smashed up into little dont need no pretty face stones dont need no human race..... slash the cushions I read every review velvet on the even though noone's got a fucking clue throne all your heroes sold their soles and brought brand new shoes, born to cant help those in need today lose cant get any speed today if you never the my lifes got no real meaning or control choose write some crappy catchy song you know try & get out of this hole couldnt we write some crappy snappy dont want to stay where you say I belong

At least I can come here now, to you, my blessed book. Confidante & forgiver. Holy book of all sordid scribbling & petty grievancy. & what's this I hear? the clanging melodia of Breck Rd Lover. Carlos & John doing their old school harmonies.

[Written in Carl's handwriting] cognac in the bedroom, sunami of polaroids & you are the fool Peter. Hold your tongue or someone may lop it off.

Another punch up at Leeds now biggles wrongly accused me of starting on him which I never did the opposite if anything. I got him a good crack in the face so this weekend he's had smacks in the face from Rabbi, Bani & myself That Boy he's mania they gave him a chance & he gave it right back he doesnt need it a good soundtrack

[Written in Peter's handwriting] So how did it go from EMI/Toshiba to Sony dinner? & in an hour? [Written in Carl's handwriting] We realised she had passion - they emitosh were good at their job BUT she had passion for music... we wanted you to meet her... we/you need to get on with these people⸺ but the food & conversation will be good ⸺⸺ xx

Fine moments at RAK. Mick Jones looks at Carl & smiles fondly, fatherly as the rock n roll star stumbles into the studio can in hand very late in the afternoon (Carlos that is). Oh love my friend, he drags me out to meet Abraham (formerly 'Phil' which he has tattooed on his knuckles).

[Written in Carl's handwriting] Spickio GQ Inter-view 1) The Libertines started in the dusty embryonic pages of of 17th century renaissance literature. The band started in 1997 in Mortlake. Another renaissance blah blah, ask Peter... 2) Hype? Comes from journalists and nosy noisy unfulfilled types. People got & get excited about songs. 3) the songs on our album might sound like

Albion 34

The wandering troubadours the black sheep boys the unowned sous dweller in purgatory in transitory transition the bustle and the hubbub of the old cinema has had a profound effect in my mind - the music heals and entrances the rapture of the exited boys and girls is so wonderfully new and so inherently old. [Written in Carl's handwriting in black ink pen.] Well, let me wright my dreams.

Will you take us with you when you go? Will you call us when you get there? When youve seen how the other half live Let us know Your song will fill the air..... [Written in Carl's handwriting] What a shame my steps were out of sync on that cold and rainy morning. I knew if I fell, dear friend, then we all would. how was I to hold that bulk of legend in order. that's the order of the day. Skinny wag from whitchurch. In these two hands, & my so beloved home town. Only tears now that well up & teater on the edges of my leathery sunken red eyes. Still it doesnt change. on & on & on. I hear Manchester groan under the weight of its self knowing industrial cosmopolitan north south skally gun toting soul chip on the shoulders. Says Imran anyhow. "We all shat ourselves down the wetland estate?" Another timeless tale from the subjects of Albion. Met Johnny Marr last night.

[Written in Carl's handwriting, cont.] Did it for you really. When I shook his hand, I gingerly probed his callouses & thought of you. Never make me swear on the soul of my twin. He was kind but jaded. told me where to score. told me to be ware. He gave up smoking yesterday his wife (who's name escapes me) Mrs Marr, told me from behind her hand. I didn't score. flesh, bone, myth, legend. 2 hands. no more heroes. go through them all like cigarettes & what you got left? Is t really worth it? Thou shalt not worship false idols. Idyl idle eye doll. I hear lou Reeds a right old spaz these days. I don't know when to die. Some go too soon. Nietzsche says.... then died too old, babbling mad with syphilis. There is no other half. not unless you see it as those who do & those who don't. those who show it & those who won't. those that choose to live, or ? candy coated sinners. Always alone. Mental note. Dont get killed crossing road in rain.

couldnt hide my excitement when Carlos said he met Johnny Marr & that he's coming to the gig & likes the album. Or is he winding me up?

All At Sea

what words scyth the heads of my loves poppies. a creeping, cautious shadow that hates my reckless intent. To hold you, to heal you, to kill you yes & roll over you in Teesdale st. Loyal and jealous the night, play a record. If you will I will anyway feel this hollow or sick. loyal and sick to the back teeth of that awful taste. You're the model of my love, hardened in the fire, so soft to touch, so warm to the blade, you hurt me & I hear you cry out in pain

F#m → E & change rhythm intro "what do you know about me? All you know is all that you see, wish you would listen to reason baby - wish you'd been listening to me. So.. so you tell me I'm not alone, and that you'll soon be coming home but the way that you left me drives my mind insane"... check with biggles...

'look out for the Daley Thompson lookalike tanned trim toned and ready to get superstoned, a thousand kissywishes to you and a thousand more and one more for Carl from the bum at the corner. here's lookingatcha hugs of love wolfy'

Novella

Is a book of Albion lost now and forever. Grand tales of scandanavian adventure wherein we realized one of our early dreams of absolute pandemonium on stage, encouraging the gyrating immaculate kids to take to the boards & swarm all over the stage they did & what wonder ensues. Some of them are so surprised I'm taller or shorter than them. Chucked out of the venue we played at in Bergen for beating up the dj when he wouldn't play the Smiths & was rude to Carlos. Burly vikings escorted us to the door.

I suppose I must begin now, to record these last four months, to reflect on the 'absolute' - the sights I never thought I'd see & the meagre miserly destruction which I held so dear. My long talk with Carlos today is the green light for this trawling into the dim & near past. (Afore the smoke addled brain loses it entirely to loss)

Now I must tell you a tale of great splendour & horror, the tale of the last few sacred months, and their unfathomable events. sketches of scandanavia, lost forever in a mislaid leather bound book of Albion. Remember Carlos being awoken by the Norwegian customs guard, light shining in his sleeping face. "Fuck off" "It's Norwegian customs" said the uniformed guard "I dont care about your local traditions" He sat up and saw the officer - fell out of his bunk & cracked his head on the wooden bar.

Come 'ead Biggles, eight days a week. I heard it was a competition, do I look like I care? I suppose that I must I wrestled the infinite & mastered the lonesome day. Making & breaking friends.

A friend one respects when you get on the gear. The universality of culture. A personal poem that hundreds more relate to, and then a life and a love is shared. More than a tatoo,

Lonely Villein

Can it be true that you after so long you're strolling into view I've missed you but you know I can be stoical and struggle on with lost limbs a plenty

Stealing from a thief was I that day in Harley Street, booking down a door and strolling off in the rain. They never mentioned - in court, in the press - the one object that I truly, completely singlemindedly stole. Not trust, not friendship: a burberry umbrella.

Bilo & Biggles go together like a couple of cup of Earl Grey & Giggles

Fragility Of Openness [There are loads of photos of Carl scattered throughout Fragility, so the only non-text put in are the documents that weren't photos, or the whole pages of images that were Carl related.]

Image, top left: Carl's jobseekers allowance claim from January 2002.

Image, top right: a torn piece of paper with Carl's address on it.

[Written on lined paper in Carl's handwriting, sideways at the bottom of the page.] Helium Casino Blanks trenchcoats Racketeers Buckaneers the streets you never have to walk alone cowslick in your eye greets us through the lonely ranks on the rails and up to Bank

Image, top right: Carl's visitor pass to the BBC for visiting Tina Turner.

Image: Peter's court summons for burgling Carl's flat.

Image, upside down, bottom of page: a typewritten caution to Carl for stealing a moped on 16 August 1998.

Image: a large photo of Carl, shirtless, playing guitar and singing.

[Image, top left: a fragment of lyrics and chords to Jail Guitar Doors by The Clash. Image, bottom right: a black and white photo of Carl in the original Albion Rooms, he is wearing a dark jumper and is looking down. There's a framed collage and a small gun or gun-prop on the wall behind him.] [Written in Peter's handwriting on white paper held in with silver tape.] 'Carlos Ashley Raphael Barât' snap of Biggles, that most photogenic of Libertines... The photograph you can see here on this page is from around 1998, t'was taken in the basement flat of 236 Camden Rd, the original 'Albion Rooms' Enjoy my friends (I'm sure the lad himself will...)

[Image, top left: a polaroid of Carl placing a cigarette in his mouth. Image, bottom left: a photo of Carl sitting on a couch with a cigarette in his hand, gesturing as he talks. There is a rifle leaning against the couch beside him and trash all over the floor. Image, bottom right, sideways: a photo of Carl onstage, singing. He's shirtless except for a tie.] [Written in Peter's handwriting on white paper taped in with silver tape, top right.] 3.00 am Paris 6th Jan 2004 Carlos... you came back to the hotel room. said you were gettin lonely. I was getting a familiar old feeling... when you go a'strollin' & a'drinkin' and dont come back for a week . . . .

[Image, top left: a photo of Carl in the doorway at Rough Trade, mostly in shadow. Image, centre left: a photo of Carl holding an infant Astile, posing with one hand behind his back. Image, bottom left: a photo of Carl in a white vest and a hat, looking over the edge of a balcony] [Written in Carl's handwriting, sideways on the right side of the page.] If you knew where id been, could feel what i'd seen you'd have been beside me, but no bother, all the same.

[Image, top left: a torn printout of the poem “For That He Looked Not Upon Her” by George Gascoigne. Image, top middle: a photo of fans jumping onstage at a Libertines gig. Image, top right: a photo of Carl standing in an alley. Image, centre left: a photo of Peter, Car, and others posing. Carl is in front, making an exaggerated smouldering expression at the camera. Peter is peering round his head. The other two people in the photo are obscured by other images. Image, centre middle: a photo of Carl onstage, shirtless, singing. Image, centre right: a torn photo of Carl. He is looking at the camera, possibly mid-speech; his hair is in his eyes. Image, bottom left: a torn photo of Carl onstage, shirtless and singing. Image, bottom middle: a photo of four men. Three of them are sitting on the stairs; one has on a black cap and has his head in his hand, one has dyed red hair and sunglasses, and one is not looking towards the camera. Carl is standing beside the stairs, looking at some papers in his hand. Image, bottom right: a fragment of a photo of Carl onstage, shirtless.] [The text of the poem by George Gascoigne, top left.] You must not wonder, though you think it strange, To see me hold my lowring head so low; And that mine eyes take no delight to range About the gleams which on your face do grow. The mouse which once hath broken out of trap Is seldom teased with the trustless bait, But lies aloof for fear of more mishap, And feedeth still in doubt of deep deceit. The scorched fly which once hath 'scap'd the flame Will hardly come to play again with fire. Whereby I learn that grievous is the game Which follows fancy dazzled by desire. So that I wink or else hold down my head, Because your blazing eyes my bale have bred.

[Image, top left: a photo of Carl wearing a grey shirt with "Playboy" written on it in reverse in white, red, and blue. He is looking at the camera with a neutral expression. Image, top right, sideways: a black and white photo of Carl in the original Albion Rooms. He is looking at the camera with an unfocused or mid-blink expression. Image, bottom left: a photo of Carl in front of a blue wall, talking to someone with a smile on his face and a cigarette in his hand. Image, bottom right: a photo of Carl onstage, playing guitar, wearing his red military jacket.]

[Image, top middle: a torn title of an article, reading “A devine Original”. Image, top left: a photo of Carl standing in an alley. Image, top right: a dim photo of Carl onstage, playing guitar. Image, centre right: a black and white photo of Carl wearing a hat, a white vest, and an unbuttoned collared shirt, looking to the right. Image, bottom left: a photo of Carl in a sleeveless collared shirt, posing, flexing his right arm and making a face. Image, bottom left: a torn piece of paper with a fragment of a poem from Order And Disorder by Lucy Hutchinson. Image, bottom right: a photo of a young Carl in a white collared shirt and dark tie, with the sleeves rolled up. He has a slight smile on his face.] [The text of the poem by Lucy Hutchinson, bottom left.] if I on thee a private glance reflect, confusion does my shamefull eyes deject Seeing ye man I Love by me betrayed by me who for his mutual help was made. Who to preserve thy life ought to have dyed & I have kill'd thee by my foolish pride, defiled thy Glory and pull'd down thy Throne oh! y! I had but sind & dyed alone, Then had my torture, & my woe been lesse I yet had Florished in thy happyness.

[Image, top left: a black and white photo of Carl peering at the camera. He is wearing a hat and looking at the camera with a neutral expression. Image, top right: a photo of Carl onstage, shirtless, singing and playing guitar. Image, centre left: a black and white photo of Carl in a hat, a white vest, and a dark unbuttoned shirt, posing and looking off to the right. Image, centre right: a photo of Carl in a grey shirt and a hoodie, looking off camera with a neutral expression. Image, bottom middle: a photo of Carl in the studio with headphones on and a flushed face. Image, bottom right: a polaroid of Carl, shirtless, making a face, seemingly in the middle of playing around. The photo has been damage around Carl's waist and the top of his head.]

[Image, top middle: a torn photo of something unidentifiable, perhaps a fireplace. Image, top middle: a sexy playing card, the three of hearts, featuring a woman in a red dress and red feather boa posing. Image, top right: a black and white photo of Carl sitting at a table with his head in his hand and his eyes closed. Image, centre right: a torn piece of a letter addressed to “Mr C Barat & Mr P Doherty Partners     The Libertines”. Image, bottom left: a photo of Carl sitting on a couch, half-lit. Peter is sitting on a nearby chair or table mostly in shadow and is reaching over to hand Carl a card. Smoke from his cigarette hazes the image. Image, bottom right: a photo of Peter standing in an alley.]

[Image, bottom: a photo of a white and black stove. A small bucket or rubbish bin sits to the left of it.] [Written beside the photo] Agar stove Bilo & Biggles sat around writing Good old days in the not so good old days

Some mysterious devil plays us of against each other at opposite ends of hell. It is so hard to make amends. [Written on a white square of paper taped into the page.] a pare of mournful rebukes of her eyes and bruised dark lips. The girl cant help it

Paris Montmartre

Arthur there with a beard as all camera following me & my family around the Albion rooms and then...... "remember leeds, so giving us hell even when we've done our best interest to accomodate her" Carlos sits at the end of the double bed I share with the sleeping Alan Voss crammed all 3 are we in the 'Formula One' motel on the outskirts of Nantes. A french music video plays on the tele on the perch. It is Kate Ryan singing 'Libertine'! A wee burn of the brown stuff. Its crappy 'uplifting' housy-pop, euro pop. Alan whistles sleep through his nose. [Image: a drawing of random parts of a face in random order.] [Written in Carl's handwriting] spamagotcha #?*¡?=@! smakinamouth repertoi revue act 1 somewhere brown, cracks in the walls and stones. pigman ferretting around for bone in a dirty little matchbox. No joy there. [Written in Peter's handwriting] five a side goals, metal bars, punching school friends in the face. A rap on the door, tis Dialektik and the spectacled Stephan avec le van. Alan & Carl need more sleep so I venture to the studio, alone but full of good feeling for le day & the the boys. Nantes is village like in aspect, in the age of mechanisation it retains a rural air. coiffure Bernard Homeopathic. college petite laude.  Le virginia

Arrive at the studio in the freezing cold to the strains of 'through the looking glass' with beelzebub playing fender rhodes over the ragged & beautiful version with myself on guitar, Alan on drums & Carlos on bass guitar.

[Written in Carl's handwriting.] Humdrum song of the sad rain EDC#B/ A /D piano G /A /D Bm A-Gm7 f# guitar Gmaj7 though shalt not kill

That was I you know who come up to my room & someone else - it was looking beautiful but someone commented on heroin. Then a party & everyone was there including my mum as her younger self with curly blond hair & a funny do it was all piled out like famous me duty. Tabith! remained tidying up? Before that festive house cards on the door looking to the darkly street. Woke up a wee restless all the french about Carlos commenting on everyones lack of joie de vivre. That would be that then wouldn't it. Alan calling in the troops who are all feeling groovy and we all listen to the final mixes of the 4 tracks we recorded two days previous. ta to dialektik and now 'ta ta' and adieu as we are to head to Holland. Alan, wunderkind, stalks the room, leaning up against the door, whistling. Carlos talks in hushed tones to a sweet girl skinny like her sister. I've spent the whole day on the sofa pretty much. Taking it in, mind. Carlos says 'Its only a short life.' - Is he trying to persuade her something? old Hollywood lover man. Torments in the night. sex pest. I wish someone would ruffle my hair or something give us a kiss an that. Narcissist is pretty fucking amazing - the best vocals I've ever heard Carlos sing actually. It is fucking good. Jesus it's a fine song... le monde,  ha ha wall makes me cry.

It's cold on the motorway we're all freezing in the colder climes & [illegible] flight connect neglect. Ah and then golden brown on the stereo, soothes my aching belly defrosting lights like sparkles and all flashing before me Carlos silenced like a parrot coat over his head "Is it dark in there?" 'I dunno I cant see a fuckin thing man." Ice scrapings on the window, soul was frozen over for a while back then and a severe bout of wolf sickness. Barricade of bales and through the gaps stretch of iced fields. Not a good morning to be a French farmer if there ever was one... this handsome face multiplied by the presses from the depths of my 426 (I'm already beyond that) This story may not always seem artificial, and in spite of me you may recognize in it the call of the blood: the reason is that within my night I shall have happened to strike my forehead at some door, freeing an anguished memory that had been haunting me since the world began. Forgive me for it. This book aims to be only a small fragment of my inner life. she was so proud to make the pimp come.

February 2002 Montmartre Table shakes - the soul of the wine. Columbia on the stereo. The rattle of pans in the sink. Carlos is cooking dinner & I was flat on my back, silhouette. Recall the Rabbi stumbling for a drink in some backstreet pub near a motorway/railway bridge. Befriended a load of hardliners he did, whilst I ducked beneath the lilipads of a hotel boy. I am to have a son then it was scanned, a Lisa in tears awhile for my not contacting. 'candy gram for Mongo' Peter looked out of the Brassierie window 'I feel strange' he said 'You are strange' Carl added helpfully

[Written in Carl's handwriting] New Motion don't look back into the sun [Written in Peter's handwriting] you know as well as I it will never come [Written in Carl's handwriting] into nos tal gee [Written in Peter's handwriting] oh my friend you haven't changed your usual ways I thought we'd lost you You can be jonny & I'll be june stop fucking around with death at the disco (how queer) time will come coy with nostalgia can go jogging to die healthy

Merry Go Round

Innit funny, Biggles ventures to join me in the studio & even deigns to visit me in my home... on the eve of the tour How cynical has my heart become? Miss Hayley Kenneth has joined me in the fiercely overcrowded one room tenement flat. Evidently she has jacked in college & all else up north & for this... a candlewax model of Arcadia. Unfathomable is her countenance & unproven her power over me. Now even she pats the space beside her & beckons me - Carl lies sleeping on the sofa & I scribble here at the little

sensible studios. Trying to get a straight simple drumbeat never seemed so difficult Poor engineer or cruel engineer? To pity or be pain? Tis the question of the day the day as ever itself nearly 4 and where's Biggles?.. I may aswell to bed

Another day another pretty much perfect squalor of heart and profile upon the Bristol stage this very eventide past. Off the stage to soothing tides of comradeship & the very core of what was altogether a head fuck of a setup & Biggles knows and how keenly he feels the pinch too on these occasions: no other can.

It was the first one of the day it was the last one of the night hold me tight They said 'oh he's a wrong'un' but I could see in your eyes how you were gentle & wise (and you had the good stuff)

I know you better than that lad if you pack in the cracks & smack I'll be your might find me waiting for you with a love that's truer than true you cap my heart [illegible] a love the too many fools that are queuing up to be with you I write a song just to sing it darling I, really mean I gave my heart I know I'm a mess but I'll do my best to prove my love to you

This Charming Man

[Written in Carl's handwriting] Master for the Man the likely lads It was a jelly situation in the yellow heart of mine took some time to tell my belly with the milk of human kind? Now my lip it curls not my kind of world back on knees to the foily ruler

Consumption

The Likely Lads Doherty / Barât [Image: a drawing of an angry pig's face with breath coming out the nostrils. Image: a drawing of French Dog, facing away from the pig.] please dont get me wrong see I forgive you in a song they call the likely lads but if it's left to you I know exactly what you'd do with all the dreams we had blood runs thicker - we're thick as thieves you know please (if that's important to you) it's important to me pipe all summer long I tried to make you then get forgiven in see - but you a song dont wanna know that's a touch my lad oh what became           but they sold the rights to of the Likely Lads?            all my wrongs What became of and        but when they needed the dreams we had?         my new songs What became of forever?    it's 'welcome back' (how sad) (we'll never know) [Written in Carl's handwriting] We all bought the one's we took. we toured we taught the world and wrote the songs there's the the dream we have, but wrap up all the wrongs and I will hold you for a song/so long you know you're not so bad. x

Arise in good spirits... well rested after yesterdays palava. I had come out of the live room to be greeted by the newly arrived Alan Magee bearing certain long-awaited gifts - the mythical digital recorder that all uses n robotic melody translate obsolete recording device which is not that which I described to swap cop this Biggles expressing a certain huffy sense of rivalry - inky like I leap back in time from here late at night in the silken canopied room of Lucie all gypsy like the occurrences. We made acquaintance in arcady and with ease conversation amidst all wild adventure fatigued, in Camden Frontline but'd look alright in a clash video, rudeboy with a Libertines soul. You know who, you know the sort - the one. The one you love, more than forever desire. oh you wanna be with them, now, reading this page aloud to you or bath or kissy kissy or so

Image, top left: a photo of Carl's bare back with “Libertine” in Japanese painted on it in black. The image has been brushed with white paint on the edges.

[Written in Carl's handwriting in gold gel pen.] Although I sit here on a vital page of my own potted history, sometimes lonely, sometimes not, I feel I write from afar. Just where or how I came to be here, I couldn't explain. Sometimes I dont know why, or maybe thats what I kid myself? However, the studio is sunny, the music is dulcet, my friends are here sharing a timeless pride. Mick is dancing [Image: a drawing of Mick Jones from behind, dancing with his hands up.] [Written in Peter's handwriting] How can you make us understand how Carl sounds like Jim Morrison but better when the penny drops

[Written in Carl's handwriting] NO → E dont dont be coy cuz I'm too clever I wont follow you down to the darkest stormy weather the bracket is wider now whats your pleasure ill see you on the other side but please....

[Written in Carl's handwriting on a piece of lined paper pasted into the journal.] I hear the things u say watched friendship fall away And it only leads to sorrow so lets be it as it may I meet people every day with thinking something they wont say I hear what all the bullies say lays on the grit hair turns grey and its such a sunny day oh its not any an easy game to play

[Written in Peter's handwriting] Dont look back into the sun Doherty/Barat [Image, top left: a drawing of a sun.] verses G / D / Em / D / C / D chorus C / G / C / D Dont look back into the sun now you know that your time is come and they said it would never come for you oh oh oh they'll never forgive you bit they won't let you go she'll never forgive you but she won't let you go [Written in Carl's handwriting] Don't look back into the sun you cast your pearls, but you're on the run & all the lies you said, who did you save? But then they played that song @ the death disco it started fast, but then ends so slow, and all the time just reminded me of you. they'll never forgive you but they won't let you go Barât / Carl

Stix & Stones

My fingertips filthy, blistered burnt and sliced... a tatty crossfire of plasters hold the end of my right index finger together. I slit it open by accident when I was pulling the razor blade out the razor to slice my chest up with t'other night. Ended up doin' one of the geetars over a monitor on the last night of Brixton, kicking Carl's amp over, showing 5,000 people my chest, blood fury, legging it through Brixton... was caught up with by my tour 'shadow' minder (Jeff) decided, topless & freezing in the street, to head back in. Cut myself a bit more and then rejoined the boys half-way through the Good Ol' Days. Heartless swines had done time 4 heroes without me!

you dont show your face no more I miss you man pal I miss you bad I miss this and I miss all the good times we had was digging out some old tapes we done winding melodies & reparties France writing general smuts & dont look back into the sun

Libertine

I showed no decorum I saw the photo you left on the forum hell had furys warning the photo was the happiest way that was today now they dont think I'm o.k now to them if I'm happy then I can't be o.k. I gave fair warning just to relieve your boredom you showed no decorum in my harem that day when I get round to si who will buy my beautiful roses who will buy my beautiful song?

in a bangkok bizarre 'no... you call each other Mr Spaniel'

You smile like a sickly child & with grace & guile You steal the shows embrace your foes keep your nose crystal clean & re-live the dream Your beautiful for an awkward second hot tin metal scars white pink petals all debts to the soul settled more or less.... could the gods care less? cruel motherfuckers they'll never stop us cant touch this

do you know me? I dont think so romanticize a dark & gloomy past trying to escape from the underclass Gm / Gm / Gm / A Bb / Dm / Bb / Dm you darken the bright & beautiful day your breakin' my heart in everyway don't tell me everything's dandy & fine you're no friend of mine I took you in & you stole from me but you still got everything I need you walkin' so tall & lookin so mean walkin so tall & lookin so mean.. don't tell me everything's dandy & fine...

The vehicle we travel in is soundproofed... the old siren manages to [obscured, water-stained] the eerie silence. If your ears were mine right now you'd imagine yourself to be in a country yard not an inner city. We head up the Camden Road now and past Delaney Mansions, where Carl & I once top n' tailed in our formative years of being absolute fucking disasters legends.

Befuddled

[Image, top right: a torn magazine photo of Peter and Carl onstage, sharing a mic. Peter is on the left and Carl on the right.] That partner- ship now otherworldly in its inception and left to fight another day is it aye I'm open to suggestion but the rules suggest it cannot be how many envision it to be or so

It is hard to measure how different I feel, another week will be even madder... strange new worlds of purity and clean living, ha! rock and roll! I feel sad now about Carl and his apparent heartache at the Sun article. It's his birthday today and I know I won't see him again for a while.It is hard to measure how different I feel, another week will be even madder... strange new worlds of purity and clean living, ha! rock and roll! I feel sad now about Carl and his apparent heartache at the Sun article. It's his birthday today and I know I won't see him again for a while. He whirls himself away somewhere into his mind, away from me and the hateful hurtful worlds he can imagine. I love him and wish I could tell him so, and wish him to believe it to be so.

Transparent

I showed no decorum saw the post you left on the forum was like a photograph of a happier way that was today now everythings o.k now but to them if I'm happy then things just cant be o.k but I gave fair warning just to relieve the boredom I went & spoke to Gordon he was a goalkeeper from Feltham oh I show no decorum                L.A saw the post you left on the forum it was a photograph of our happiest day...

I've been running after you too long your trying not to see how you dont see me how you dont need me

people who just look a nasty way of biting your back- talk to me about the way you thought. The importance of not being too earnest. There is a, always will be a natural, incomparable chemistry between the Spaniels. Sidelong glances that evolved over centuries of late night riff sculpturing and misgiving, petty grievance & synchronized handshakes. All the strength one can muster, even to open the door. The words rattle out of her boney face, ramming at my ears, [illegible] me through of tears & fears such is the numbing effect of the incessant Babble. At least if it's too the face one can defend oneself. Sometimes if it appears that you dont care... apparently I cant see it. so devious? underneath it all so cold blooded & nasty? The reason being that I 'don't express myself that much' This do indeed get misunderstood

PD

Words, long ago building a dream what's worthless to the past is priceless to the last

they meant it and so, so it was meant to be ... they've all got it in for me so someone'll have to pay someone'll have to... great save me from what I want "————" need saw the face it's gone it's gone and wont given [illegible] gone and won't be coming back undone the whole shebang, a plan planned it out on a towel all the guys are going back oh & aye plan A not goin for intimacy riffle and I know what it meant to be all got it in for me oh they call 'em the Libertine oh they aint Libertines

A' Rebours

[Written in the margin of a very cluttered page] (Aye, Carlos) (I, Carlos) ([Image: a doodle of an eye and a car.])

Remember Banni sitting us down in a Notting Hill bar, on comfy sofa, and with some urgency rattling off a spiel about how we must project an impeccable image as a band suits she said suits!

The Libertines carry on without me it seems - even to Australia! christ... how to carry this weight? what's he up to that troubled man? There's having the [illegible] & proving something (whatever that is [illegible]) and then... then there's fucked up torture techniques cruelty and amputation. If I do get not guilty on the 10th of August for the flick knife palava then I'll end up inside anyway for strangling Biggles. I jest of course... his accursed brains would serve my peace of mind well if all over a monitor speaker they were mashed. given that he does not seem to offer me any of the love & friendship & loyalty that he tells the world of in these NMEs nearby. Then again, I would rather he could retain his giant pink [illegible] in that coked up paranoid 'sexiest rock star' head of his, and just stop this Libertines-without-Peter charade that for some reason breaks my heart all lately. If he will not open the door to me then stop playing my songs. It's hideous, hideous, tenuous? A flash then of a [illegible] hanging on my final words.

From Albion To Shangri-La

Oddly enough, I am back at the hotel with Stef of original 'Alf and Stephanie' fame. Their friendship disintegrated quicker than you can say 'Pete + Carl' a couple of years ago, after hemlock escorted the pair of them aboard the good ship Albion one oblivion-dashed New Years Eve

I'm on the balcony at Adelphi Terrace, just off the Strand. I think of Embankment Gardens, down there below me and the river Thames, a stone's throw beyond. I do not feel sentimental. I just fondly recall times when Carlos and I would loiter about these side-streets. Acting out for each other in the mini amphitheatre round. Our ever present guitars rattling out new compositions. We believed them to be masterpieces. It would turn out to be accurate – innocently arrogant and brimming over with belief in each other and in our unseen allies out there in the city.

Typecast

[...] flashy flashy all the while as it fat stub speaker raises its wireless voice and tickles the beagled morning with aplate of the geetar from me new tune - Hell to pay at the gates of Heaven. Carl reckons its yet to be written and that he is the man with the middle 8 and the je ne sais qua to put this lil' kontry armaggedon balled to bed for the winter. Bursting with all the joys of spring it'll be come harvest festival etc etc.

Doing this thing with John Cale – which I Haven't as yet actually done as I'm a day late for rehearsals.. He himself – Carl I mean, not John, I say he himself like that because I was just picturing him akipp' upstairs in the spare room, me dear Ol' mucker and one of the few who knows me from when I was meself alright then let8s get straight to the heart of the matter

“I think it's time for bed, ” says Carl, “I think it's time for your loves and hates ..” says Peter Carl takes a slash. Hates.. 1 Hatred “how I loathe it” 2 Injustice 3 Crass idiocy 4 Fear 5 Helplessness 6 “myself” …. 7 a great hatred for complicity and blinker'dness to beauty 8 The sound of a glass being filled 9 cardashians and sundry false idols 10 the darkside Carloves 1 Intoxication 2 Orgasm 3 liberty 4 bakewell Tart with tea, builders tea 5 Escape 6 the pay-off 7 p pokey 8 melancholia 9 self-betterment 10 family 

Miscellaneous

Seen Dean on the save at the bar / had a jar / Carl is away with the famous Libertines in Brazil it would seem. As ever now The Libertines is run-off my radar screen. I know nothing about it I am left no choice but to give all my life & living breath to Babyshambles and the great push for infinity

My dearest Jiggle down dawson. This is Catalonia. You get them all down here. I only really want to see one man though, My dearest old bejiggled soul.Tender is this nightt, and hyde parkey beckoneth. Strange town and-affect and that's a northern soul drum intro and a half.... bum da bum bum bum indeedy diddily doo

Carl alone in the room, talking intimately with Missus we butt into the conversation and hear Carl say, off handedly “yeah I know what you mean its like when people ask you how you are are...” Peter enters “Carl whispers goodbyes etc I'll call you back”... Carl looks at flash new wtch “[illegible] oand P: “I just been to get some dog food “How are you?holds up tripe cut to music hall pupple Carl “Its like.. imagine seeing life in a spectrum at the top is clear crystalline glass and blue sky hashtag no filter (stops, emphasizes..) NO filter” continues in a reverie “tilt your head a little, and start seeing [illegible] of a sunset -kodak moment.. a glass of chardonnay, but it's getting hazy “ Silence Carl: “can you see it?” P thinks “what a wise person” Internal dialogue of Peter : “I dont want a baby that Carl: looks like that Carl continues “can you see it it's getting darker it's the kerb, blood teeth , dog meat piss, kebab darker and you know the hammer is about to fall a reebok classic on the back of your skull do you get it...?  

[incorrectmalevolent]

Things you said 21. (On top of the world) but make it another titanic reference

okay we're jumpin right off THIS post:

Arthur felt his heart and stomach drop simultaneously, a sick feeling welling up in him as he hugged both arms tighter around himself.

"I- why would you say that?" He snapped, though he sounded more pitiful and frightened than angry. "Why the fuck would you say that? I- I can't do this, John, we-"

"Arthur-" John started, but barely managed to form anymore words underneath Arthur's fresh panic.

"We need to leave, we need to-"

"Arthur," John persisted, just commanding enough to be heard.

Arthur stopped, pushing out a shaky breath as he tried to rein himself back in. It didn't help at all.

"Arthur," John repeated one last time, a gentler tone back in his voice, "just breathe. Please," he urged. "You're spiraling."

"I- I-"

"In, slowly," John interrupted. Arthur obliged to the best of his abilities. "Good. Now out. There... Again." He gave Arthur's right elbow a light squeeze before returning their left hand to Arthur's chest, feeling for his heart. John once more found himself wondering when he'd picked up that habit- resting over Arthur's pulse whenever he knew he was upset.

There was a tinge of guilt to John's tone when he next spoke. "I didn't mean to alarm you; I should have thought a little more before I'd said that. It slipped my mind that you wouldn't understand the reference I was making."

"I-..." Arthur began, sounding a bit steadier despite how his thoughts were still somewhat scattered. "I don't understand why you'd reference something like that anyway. Especially when we'd just talked about what I'm afraid of."

John huffed out a sigh in spite of himself. "I know. I'm sorry. But there's-... Do you remember what I said? One of the first things I'd said about the Dark World, how it doesn't abide by the laws of time in the way this world does?"

"Mh..." Arthur thought for a brief moment. "Yes, but-"

"There's a film. Released in nineteen nintey-seven. It's a romanticized iteration of the events by the same name: The Titanic."

"'Ninety-seven...'" Arthur muttered, baffled. "'Romanticized?' Why the fuck would they romanticize that? It was a tragedy!"

"I don't know, Arthur," John breathed, loosely closing his hand over the front of Arthur's shirt. "People like to look for love in tragedy. I suppose it comforts them."

"That's-" Arthur started, then stopped himself. He brought his right hand down with a sigh. "...Yeah. I suppose you're right."

"...You suppose a lot of things, Arthur," John tested.

Arthur huffed out a soft laugh at the dig, sounding calmer now. "You did it first, this time." After a moment of hesitation, he stepped back to where he knew the railing at the edge of the deck was, and leaned against it, facing out to sea. "...What was it about that moment in particular?" He wondered, a gentle curiosity in his voice.

"Hm?"

"When you referenced the film. I'm assuming it was something specific."

"...Oh. Yes. Well, there are two main protagonists who... become involved-"

"'Involved?'" Arthur asked, feigning naïveté.

"You know what I mean, Arthur," John snapped, though there wasn't any real bite to his voice.

Arthur couldn't help but chuckle in response. "Then say it."

John hesitated for a moment. "...They're in love." He tried not to notice the way Arthur hummed when he said that. "There's a man, Jack, and a woman, Rose. Jack is poor, and the only reason he's on the ship is because he won tickets for the voyage in a game of poker. Rose is wealthy, and engaged to a man who doesn't understand her or even make the effort to. Jack and Rose meet and they..."

"They fall in love." Arthur shifted so that their left elbow was propped up on the deck rail. John moved their hand so that Arthur could rest his chin on it.

"Yes. At first sight, almost. There's a... a chemistry between them. They're drawn to each other. But because it's not proper, they sneak around for the most part, so that nobody on the ship who would ruin their love affair catches wind of things. And there's a scene, where Jack takes Rose to the bow of the ship at sunset, when nobody else is around. He wraps his arms around her waist, and then they look into each other's eyes, and..." John trailed off.

"'And?'"

"...They kiss."

"Oh," Arthur responded plainly.

"...Yes."

There was a moment of quiet between the two of them, with John suddenly feeling timid and Arthur wondering how to proceed.

Ultimately, John broke the silence. "It's... not to be confused with an earlier scene, in which Jack stands behind his friend in the same spot and shouts, 'I'm king of the world.'"

Arthur snorts.

"What?"

"Nothing, I-... My first thought was, 'is that not how I make you feel?' but that's- stupid," Arthur laughed at himself.

John paused. "It is."

"You... didn't have to agree with me, John, I already acknowledged-"

"No," John insisted with a soft sort of urgency, "that-... That is how you make me feel." The confidence in his voice sent a chill running down Arthur's spine. John tried not to notice how he could feel the heat that had crept into Arthur's face.

"I-..." Arthur began, but trailed off about as soon as he'd started, finding himself at a loss for words. He pushed out a sigh, then shifted his head, and pressed a soft kiss to to the palm of his partner's hand.

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

The Voyage So Far: East Blue (Part One)

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby  || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

so!! hey folks. as i’ve mentioned before, to mark the upcoming chapter 1000 (holy shit!!) as well as my blog’s first anniversary this december, i decided it would be a good time to go back and put together some highlight reel posts of my favorite panels/moments/scenes from each saga and some commentary about what i think the best parts of each arc and the series as a whole are and why, as a celebration of just how far one piece has come and how many fantastic moments we've had so far! 

this will be quite a series of rather long posts- they’ll all be tagged #the voyage so far, if you’d like to avoid this messy retrospective. i'll be posting one saga a day each day until chapter 1000's official release on january 3rd!

honestly, i’m opening with this panel because it has a special place in my heart: i’m pretty sure it was the first time that one piece ever made me laugh. 

the entire prologue does a really good job of setting up the tone for the entire rest of the story. i think i haven’t really written much about it before, but i really love romance dawn. it hits the exact mix of humorous and serious that’s practically one piece’s trademark tone, and introduces us to some of the main themes of the series: inherited will especially, and the theme of freedom, and the idea of betting your life for what you love. 

technically this isn’t the first time we see luffy as an adult- he punches out the sea king before this- but it is his formal introduction, as well as (in the chapter title) the first time he’s referred to as strawhat luffy/mugiwara no luffy. 

i really like a lot of these very early panels of luffy, really. i’m a writing person, not an art person, so i can’t really explain why, but there’s something about how he’s drawn that i think is just delightful for some reason. i like the earlier one piece art a whole lot in general, even though it’s often much less intricate and more simple than the current artstyle (which is not by any means bad either!! it’s just different). i think it fits the atmosphere of the start of the story very well- a journey just starting out. 

he’s going to be pirate king!!

i’ve complained before about how zoro’s backstory doesn’t really hit the way a lot of the others do, mostly because it goes so fast, and kuina’s death is unfortunately the closest the series comes to fridging, but- that said, i do really like the core of it. i really like zoro being motivated by a promise to the one friend and rival he could never beat, and i love how this moment is what he cites later on while facing mihawk: a promise to a friend. 

i love all the strawhats and their dynamics, and seeing the crew grow and develop and become a family over the course of hundreds of chapters is one of the great joys of one piece, but i think i’ll always have a soft spot for luffy and zoro’s relationship. there’s never really any conflict between them after their very first meeting; there’s loyalty and dedication and understanding there that starts from this moment and never really wavers.

it makes me grin to see the two of them, here at the start of it all. they don’t have a flag or a ship or a destination, yet, but this is the start of the strawhat pirates.

this series will probably reveal that i have a great weakness for group shots, and i think oda is particularly good at them- especially in these earlier arcs, you can usually see every character’s personality and feelings coming through in how they’re placed and what they’re doing. 

i had actually forgotten that usopp did this, and while i know kuro was egging him on on purpose, i feel like he doesn’t get enough credit for being a reckless idiot sometimes. there’s a reason he fits in as a strawhat, after all, even if he himself isn’t always aware of it. 

this is a lovely panel just on its own, but i think it (and all the other appearances of sunrise and dawn in the story) hits different now, with all the 'coming dawn’ theming that’s been established in recent arcs. 

oda often absolutely nails his use of negative space to emphasize heavy little moments like this, and i for one absolutely love it. this one in particular gets me in the heart. 

i like how you can reread some of these early arcs and see nami’s affection for the crew growing in little moments like these, and it’s very sweet, but there’s also a quiet kind of sadness in knowing she’s spending the whole time knowing she’s going to have to betray and leave them eventually. 

i LOVE the new crewmate toasts. they all always look so happy.

also, in my opinion, this is the first time the strawhat pirates feel like a proper crew. they have a SHIP now! and just after this, they get their jolly roger to seal the deal. 

it is my opinion that sanji has one of the best character introductions i’ve ever seen. in just a few chapters we know just about everything we need to know about him: he's not to be fucked with, he has extremely high respect for food and absolutely none for morons, and the first genuine smile we see from him is when he gives a free meal to a starving man. 

i think about this moment a lot, really. luffy knows almost nothing about sanji at this point. he hasn’t tasted his food- he doesn’t even know his name. but he’s seen sanji give free food to gin for no other reason than that he’s hungry and it’s right, and that’s all it takes for luffy to decide that sanji is gonna be his cook. 

baratie is mostly a serious arc (and leads into the even more serious arlong park), but it has some really good funny moments towards the start and this is one of them. you know they’re friends because they all just start roasting luffy without sympathy or hesitation. 

i’ve mentioned before that the zoro and mihawk fight was one of the big things that hooked me on one piece (the other being sanji’s backstory), but the way it ends, especially, is one of my favorite moments in the whole series. i love,, strawhat loyalty moments. carve “any complaints, pirate king?” on my fucking grave. 

sanji has a lot of really great action panels in this arc, but this is one of my favorites mostly because his combat abilities are being revealed to the audience at the same time they’re revealed to a lot of the characters watching. i can’t remember who pointed it out but sanji’s character design (especially pre-timeskip) just really looks like he’s designed for kicking- shiny black shoes, about 70% leg- and it really shows in panels like this. 

sanji and zeff’s chronic inability to communicate is kind of the emotional core of baratie, and i think sanji calling the restaurant zeff’s treasure sums up the entire conflict between them very neatly. of course zeff values sanji way more than the restaurant, but zeff will never tell that to his face and sanji has negative zero self-worth so he’s never going to figure it out on his own. so they’re basically in a stalemate. 

sanji’s backstory is absolutely brutal. we spend a truly agonizing amount of time literally just watching him slowly starve to death. it’s no secret that oda is really amazing at backstories, but i think sanji’s is probably one of the most effective at driving home exactly where his very specific mindset as an adult comes from. it’s hard to even read this section and not come away with at least a little more appreciation for food. 

(to be continued in east blue part two!)

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E113 (Oct. 27, 2020)

Good evening and good night, lovely people of the world! We’re on the internet and ready to go. Tonight’s guests are Travis Willingham and Sam Riegel. This will be calm, controlled, and sane, I can feel it. Brian points out it’s been seven months since either of them were on Talks. Oof. (Sam asks if it’s been going the whole time without him. Bigger oof.) Travis keeps sneaking bites out of an acai bowl or something and tries to look sneaky about it, and I laugh every time because he’s just...so big. He’s such a big person.

(Brian is wearing a lobstrosity shirt. He and Travis talk about Dark Tower for a bit; then Sam tries to get into the conversation: “Is that the thing from It?” Brian: “Is what the thing from It?” Sam: “Is that lobster the clown from It? I’m not very literate. Is that a Langolier? Is that a Shawshank?”)

Announcements: none! Maybe they just forgot. We’ve been talking about Sam’s spooky skeleton decorations for like five minutes. Brian suggests taking them to Travis’s house. Travis: “That’s the fastest way to get to the smell of burning plastic.” Brian: “Speaking of your girlfriend...”

On Avantika: Fjord wouldn’t call it a relationship as much as a casual sexual interaction. Not official! Super not official!!

The first sea voyage wasn’t great for Fjord, but he tried to be thoughtful about preparing for this one before they left: praying, kneeling at the bow of the ship, etc. He’s a little disappointed the Wildmother didn’t even throw him a “yo, fam” heads up.

They weren’t sure how to resolve the conflict at first, since Avantika went for Fjord rather than the crystal. No one expected it to get exposed in that way. Travis thought the necklace was a pocket dimension and was alarmed to learn it wasn’t. Travis wants it destroyed along with the third gateway, so until they are he won’t rest easy.

Everyone enjoyed watching them all fail on the battlefield again. (Sam: “You used [Counterspell] so effectively!”) Travis thought he’d said Thunder Step, which would imply Avantika was running, rather than Thunder Wave. Sam says it’s fine since none of them have that spell and he wouldn’t know it anyway.

It’s very difficult for Veth to find reasons to stay with the M9. She loves the adventures and making a difference, but she also wants to come home and have weekends and have a husband and life. “She’s a career girl!” He’s very excited about the possibilities of Caleb’s transportation effectively creating an easy commute for her. He also, as a player, doesn’t want to be the person who’s always leaving the party. “My characters wanna roam!”

Travis was fully tilted that Avantika might have gotten away right before the break. He doesn’t think he could have focused on Vess DeRogna’s task knowing Avantika had gotten away; he was seriously working out how Fjord would leave the party to go make a last stand at the third gate if she’d escaped.

Sam looooves how Matt plays Yeza, but it honestly makes him feel a little worse at how encouraging he is for Veth to chase her dreams. “He’s always like - go shine! Go blossom!” He wants to have the conversation about Yeza feeling a little ignored. It’s fun to share the tales of adventures with Luc & Yeza. 

Travis says there’s no way it’s Molly--it’s all Lucien. They don’t know if it was a resurrection, if he’s undead, possessed, etc. Everyone--everyone--rags on Taliesin’s accent work. Brian surreptitiously claims Ashly was brought on to relieve him of the burden of the accent. Poor Ashly, ha!

Initially, Travis landed on the Oath of the Ancients, but it had more nature & pacifism in it than he felt fit Fjord very well. Many of them also had a focus on good & lawfulness, which also didn’t feel quite right; he also wasn’t that vengeful for some of the others. He & Matt got together and discussed options. Matt asked what Travis liked about Fjord; Fjord’s love for the ocean was a huge part of it, since Travis himself also loves the ocean & scuba diving, and so Matt created a custom oath for him. Travis does not plan to post its details, but he thinks Matt will at some point.

Cosplay of the Week! a lovely Scanlan by Air Bubbles Cosplay! Sam tells us the “canon” Scanlan cosplay was actually borrowed hodgepodge, and the boots were falling off all day.

It was really cool to see how Yeza & Luc have made a home in Nicodranas. Felderwin was okay, but kind of your basic D&D fishing village, and she likes the Nicodranas is much better. She’s confident & comfortable knowing her family is safe and sound.

Why is Fjord so interested in finding Sabian? To him, post-orphanage, his time with Vandren was the best of his life & the most love he’d ever received, because he mattered & had worth. It was taken by someone he’d known basically his whole life, so Fjord is not going to let that go. “That fuckin’ bill needs to be paid, my friend.”

Sam acknowledges that he should NOT have looked at his phone in re: the Vilya reveal, but it was pretty surprising! He can’t believe none of them recognized it! Travis points out the M9 had never met, heard of, or known anything about Vilya, so it’s not that surprising. Brian points out Matt has also done a really good job keeping the two campaigns separate, so any references were tasteful. Sam marvels that it was so well done: it was tasteful, had emotional and story impact... “That Matt. He’s getting better!”

Liam texted Sam back something like “oh SHIT.”

Knowing Veth had a chance to help someone else return to her child made Veth feel almost karmically forgiven for being away from her kid, but it also made Veth a little guilty--”this lady wants to desperately return home, shouldn’t I want to go home too?” Caleb’s teleportation spell couldn’t have come a better time.

Sam wants Caleb & Astrid to get back together (well, he says “hump each other”), and Dani’s eyebrows climb off her forehead. Veth/Nott really thinks Caleb needs to have a roll in ze hay, and feels like after meeting her that there is a kindness or vulnerability to her that could be worthwhile. Travis thinks she feels like someone tethered, that it feels like she has a bomb or something in her chest that’ll explode if she tries to leave. Sam thinks Eadwulf is super cool. None of these names are spelled like I think.

Travis found the dinner super frustrating, because he felt Caleb was trying to walk a diplomatic line and he just wanted to backhand Trent. 

Fjord is still coming to terms with his feelings for Jester, and the feelings are definitely real, but there’s a lot of timing that he’s considering and he also wants to figure out what the relationship is like outside of constant tension and battle. Fjord is also having trouble figuring out how to exercise the ability to display affection as well since he’s never received them, and is feeling out how to give and receive them. “It’s fine now, because he’s feeling it, but once you say it out loud, or once you come to a point where you make it known to the other side, then what happens? It might be ruined. It might be broken. Or it might not be!” The moment with the porcelain unicorn was too good not to try. Travis also sighs that he’s not a romance D&D guy, “but now I am! Fuckin’ Laura Bailey!” He’s definitely feeling it out and will see how it unfolds in the game.

If Jester hadn’t let go of the Traveler, Fjord would have either attacked the Traveler or the Moonweaver and tried to kick them both off.

Sam doesn’t think the Traveler’s realized yet what a dick he is. Brian thinks it may not happen in this campaign, but agrees the full weight of what he deserves hasn’t been felt yet. Travis: “Yeah, he came to the edge, but it didn’t cost him anything.” Brian: “Yeah, he’s a real edgelord.”

Fanart of the Week! a beautiful portrait of Molly in the snow by @claygryphon on twitter.

Veth acknowledges that they work for shady people with shady pasts, so Vess DeRogna isn’t her first rodeo, but this time it’s personal. It’s Jaws 2: Electric Boogaloo. Sam can’t commit to actual actions, since Vess is like level 20 or something, but “I will get some kinda revenge. Be it petty or significant, I will get revenge.”

How are they feeling about being in Eiselcross? They’ve only just landed, so not sure yet. The cold is intimidating. They’re excited to explore a new island that’s part of Wildemount, especially with the river of lava running through it. “It’s icy with lava? Sounds like a Dairy Queen.”

There’s still a ton of unknowns regarding the Tombtakers, Vess, the nature of their job, and who’s here on whose orders. They’re excited to see how it’s all going to play out. Travis laughs that he doesn’t take notes, he’s just here to fight things. It just washes over him when Matt starts talking about names and places. “It’ll reveal itself in time. [...] I don’t write those notes down. I don’t even know how to spell it off the bat.” I have never identified more with Travis. Sam actually does pay attention and take notes and was really impressed by Marisha’s dive.

Veth became interested in branding her own spellcraft as soon as she saw Caleb doing it. “That’s what the influencer agents are gonna be looking at. It would be nice to leave the world better than we found it, but also with some branded spells.”

What were Fjord’s thoughts on dropping so much money on the ring & the Ioun stone? It wasn’t about money for Fjord, it was about a cool thing to acquire. It’s why he saves money in his campaign. Caleb needs “as much of a flak jacket as he can get.” He also REJECTS the idea of buyer’s remorse on the ring and touts the effectiveness it’ll have on the lava river.

Travis talks about his old coins - a 340AD coin he bought at a ren faire and a 120BC coin that was a gift from a friend.

Sam marvels at the love and thought that Caleb put into the tower. Sam points out they forgot to go to the top two floors altogether. Travis: “Did the mansion get as much careful planning from Scanlan as the tower did from Caleb?” Sam: Absolutely not. But they were still thinking small in C1, figuring out how things went, and they didn’t have as much detail in their heads yet.

And that’s all the time we have for tonight! We end on everyone whispering way too close into their mics and tapping fingernails on mason jars. A fitting end to this crazy episode, I think.

Is it Thursday yet?