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#this one was harder than expected lol
keiksy-cake · 1 month
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Himaruya Bamboo Thicket Blog Posts Link
Hi, today I came across those super old blog posts from Hima on Hetarchive, many of which are apparently still left untranslated. Since I had nothing to do today, I decided to put them all in a doc in order and side-by-side with English translations. Since it's A LOT and I'm lazy, I decided to just put them through ChatGPT lol. It's still a work in progress, atm of writing this I've only done January-March 2008 lol, but anyway if you're interested, feel free to check it out:
I'm learning a lot about Hima like this honestly, like apparently he has ADHD? It's very interesting
And if you happen to know if there was anybody else who tled these elsewhere, please let me know! :)
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ophexis · 7 months
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We have a winner!
Here are the belated results, because I went to the office yesterday and was too dead inside to post lmao
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The skyrim cookbook! A classic!
It is actually "The Elder Scrolls" cookbook, but Skyrim was simpler lmao. It does have recipes from not just Skyrim but you can tell this book came up during it's peak.
I shall choose a recipe shortly! Very likely it's gonna be a soup. But which soup! (tho the redguard rice sounds deeeeelicious!!!)
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arolesbianism · 1 year
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Almost got too comfortable with liking a whole 3 25ji originals and tried listening to a 25ji cover playlist before I remembered that I do indeed still very much not like a good 99% of their covers
#rat rambles#sekai posting#samsa has become one of my favorite sekai songs period and bug and inanndesu are both alas absolute bangers#but one of those is hard carried by the story its tied to and the other is bug so it just kinda plain goes hard#but fr they sound sooooo fucking good in zamuza and the lyricssssss god#songs that hit harder if I close my eyes and pretend its more abt kanade than it actually is#Id be lying tho if I said that they dont sound good in inandesu#like bro it doesnt deserve to be in my top ten sekai songs but it still is so#like it goes hard they sound good miku sounds good the event is one of my favorite sekai events its so unfair#y'know truly these three songs are representative of my relationship with 25ji as a whole if you think abt it fndjfbdh#I went into bug not expecting it to go so hard zamuza hit me hard but took a lil while to appreciate the other members in it and inandesu#stuck in my brain against my will#and mizuki fits into this cause theyre the only 25ji member that isnt tied for my favorite sekai character lol#like look they have good originals. just none that I like the group cover or even the misuki solo of#like lower is pretty good. I hate the 25ji version tho#idk maybe Ill like kitty more in the future if I end up giving it more of a chance but it doesnt rly call to me rn#also on a almost related note god I wish I could like the vbs version of hitsuji ga ippiki more but idk why it just does not click with me#idk if its just me liking the vocaloid version too much or if the boys bring it down that much for me but smth abt it man idk#speaking of the guys rip to akito for not getting the yy solo he desperately needed#bro is doomed to only have one good solo til the end of time </3#like Im happy for an but man I wish all of them got yy solos they all sound soooo good in that cover#also give me shanti solos because I wanna like vbs shanti soooo bad but smth abt it doesnt click in the way I want it to#also delete vbs egoist from the game thanks <3
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ooh adepti names are harder than i thought...
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littleragondin · 1 year
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9, 10, 24
Thank you for asking!
9. worst part of canon
Like, in general? Hmm... I think it's something that seems a little recent but I hate when canon sacrifices character development/a story arc/common sense to cater to fans. I'm like everyone, right, when something I root for happens I'm happy, but here i'm talking about ... you obviously see that the creator is working toward a specific story and it takes a brutal turn toward something else that you know the fandom has been vocal about. It feels frustrating no matter if I wanted the thing to happen or not! (even worse when it's like, just slapped on the story like 'here you wanted it you get it now shhh').
10. worst part of fanon
I think when it's treated as canon. And by that I mean, not in the 'this is canon to me now' way, but more like sometimes you'll see a headcanon gain popularity in fandom (completely ok) and people adopting it into their own interpretation of canon (perfectly fine too) but THEN acting like people who don't ascribe to this headcanon are not canon compliant or somehow 'wrong'? Hate that. (it's something I've seen more in big fandoms, BL is not too victim of this I feel)
24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse
Only one?? Ok, ok, joke aside I try to curate my fandom experience as much as possible, so I don't see too much discourse. But I'd say every time the notion of consent and abuse comes on the table. Suddenly you see the wildest takes on it, and the most rank stuff pops up. In BL specifically (but I can only assume it also goes on everything romance) I think the discussion of low versus high heat, sex scenes etc, tends to bring out some suuuuuper bad and nasty takes on both sides.
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set-wingedwarrior · 1 year
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Me? Adding a little bit of blue on Shepard's armor in reference to her relationship with Liara in a very rwby fashion? It's more likely than you think
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blackidyll · 2 years
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Tagged by the wonderful @derpinathebrave! (✿◡‿◡)
10 Films I Love
Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (the whole trilogy, but FOTR is my favourite)
Howl's Moving Castle (my favourite Ghibli movie)
Pride and Prejudice 2005 (also one of my favourite books)
Pacific Rim (only the first movie. Drift compatible! And although I love Raleigh and Mako together, I appreciate that the movie didn't force them into a romantic relationship onscreen).
Skyfall (hello the movie that kicked me into an almost decade-long love affair with the Craig!James Bond fandom. To me, the best of the five Craig!Bond films).
Moulin Rouge (oh boy, little teen me memorized the entire soundtrack. I think I can still sing the entire Elephant Love Medley from memory).
RENT (musical movies are a gift in parts of the world that don't have much access to the theater arts. My class loved the soundtrack so much we made Seasons of Love our graduating song).
Mad Max: Fury Road (I watched this because my Tumblr dashboard recommended it so much, and holy smokes, it was so good? Even if it's not a genre you usually watch, watch this movie).
Disney's Mulan 1998 (I've seen all the Chinese TV series and movie versions okay but I love musicals and the Disney version has really catchy music and also Mushu).
Kara no Kyoukai/The Garden of Sinners (the entire movie series because frankly the story makes little sense if you watch them individually. But movie 5 Paradox Spiral is my favourite).
As usual, no pressure to answer this if you don't feel like it, but tagging @qserasera @solowinged @no-gorms @kamicom @saint--claire (and anyone else who wants to do this).
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sysig · 2 years
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Your Weekly TV Guide
On Monday you can expect:
2:30 PM: Star Control II - Humans
And Tuesday:
2:30 PM: Undertale - Handplates
Wednesday:
2:30 PM: SCII
Thursday:
2:30 PM: SCII
Friday:
2:30 PM: Minki & Witch Bunny
Saturday:
2:30 PM: Minki & Witch Bunny (ft. Ratt Lad)
Sunday:
2:30 PM: Undertale - Handplates
Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)
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mainfaggot · 2 years
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being in uni is easier than being in middle school but harder than hs if u know what i mean
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ravenwolfie97 · 1 year
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continuation in friend discord server
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orcelito · 2 years
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Staying out of tales of arise Anything bc I think I do want to experience this game organically bc those plot twists hit me like a fucking TRUCK.
I did look up an estimate for how long the game is tho. I'm at like 30 ish hours and if you focus on plot alone it's like some 40 hours. But I have been doing side quests lol so it probably isn't even 10 hours remaining.
A Little scared of how things will be after this point tho. The Vibes will definitely have changed. And oh God I just want to hold Alphen so tightly. He doesn't deserve this.
#speculation nation#tfw ur amnesia was a blessing but now you remember and suddenly you have to deal with Extreme Trauma#and he was already traumatized!!!! he was already traumatized and now hes even more traumatized!!!!!!#but let's be real this group is made entirely up of very traumatized people lol. such is the way of this world.#this game is so fucking brutal tho. like im used to tales games hitting much harder than you expect#but they went out of their WAY to make this one really fuck you up#im absolutely in love with this game. but WOW it is not for the faint of heart lmfao#which sure is something to say about a very anime looking game where you can go to the Owl World and the Owl King will give you outfits#and you can wear ridiculous accessories even during serious cutscenes (a tales game Classic)#and also you own a ranch.#i still cant wrap my head around that one hfkshfj like what do you MEAN i own a ranch?!?! and then i just Kill the animals?!?!?#like ya food meats but i thought raising chickens would give me eggs. me cooing at my grown chickens then going into the menu#and it's like 'your chickens have reached maturity! items received: Chicken Meat" and i was just like. 'O-oh.'#and then the chickens were GOOOONE but at least the cats and dogs stay around without me EATING them#i. prefer to not visit my ranch. i dont want to be reminded that all these animals are gonna die.#hfkshfjd and YEA ALL THIS alongside some stunning displays of moral ambiguity#& the utter horror and injustice of 300 years of subjugation#perfectly captured right down to the erasure of culture. these people having to look to ruins to get in touch with their culture#bc it was Taken from them.#just. it's a ridiculously over the top anime game just like any tales game but wow. wowowowwow#and im saying this after playing tales of xillia 2. aka still the only game that made me cry Twice.#arise is truly an astounding game. it's very definitely in the running for my favorite tales game.#we'll see how the ending goes lol but given everything ive seen so far. it is Likely to be just as stunning hdkshfj#raving about this game when i should be going to sleep. man . man. ..
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yongseungkim · 5 months
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#like i definitely need therapy lol#not that i havent tried in the past nothings just worked/stuck like the therapists werent a good fit for me perhaps#so im trying to reach out again because holy shit#i want to a) get out of my phd and b) have normal fucking friendships#but its so hard right now when anxious thoughts take over SO much some days like i know i cannot do this on my own#i have good friends i know who will hear me out#but man its the same thing over and over again with me but in a new font sometimes i swear#and my friends dont need to hear all those anxious depressive thoughts lol like#once in a while sure esp my closer friends but all the time? nawr#i have been trying to journal but man the emotions just bubble up and i dont feel better until ive like said things out loud#so honestly just having someone to rant about the same issues over and over again might be nice lol .#but i need to find a therapist that fits which is the hardest part#i do think ive made small strides on my own which is nice#but the emotions are just so loud and genuinely affect my day to day like its so hard battling things on my own#im at the point now where im like this cant go on for much longer somethings gotta change#if i want to have a phd in the next year and if i want to maintain friendships normally#and esp if i wanna stay roommates with this girlie cuz holy shit its been a lot harder than i expected maybe#i dont think i can do it on my own without major reprecussions#bro its also been like so long#i feel like ive always had some human i was extremely fond of for the past ?? years albeit most of them were like fake right like in the kp#*kpop world so it was fine when it becomes a real person it is absolutely terrible let me tell u .#but its also been a habit like i didnt realize how terrible my thoughts w ys were until now cuz they really wernet normal thoughts at all#like i want to break free of having these kind of attachments to people in a way cuz the only way i feel like ive been able to deal with bi#feelings is by transferring them to a new subject which isnt what i want anymore#like i just want it all to stop!#i also feel like mentally ive gotten worse ?? than before ?? in some ways like#i dont know if i want to make new friends and connections anymore#the same way i was trying so hard in the previous year which is worse bc now my efforts are like#SOLELY on this one girl in a way which is NOT. GOOD.#ive been trying to have conversations with the third roommate but i have to force myself?
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rpfisfine · 9 months
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hii my name is adrien or you can just give me random songs from any letters if you'd like
HIIIIIIIII adrien okay here are some songs!!!!
A - albatross by fleetwood mac D - dirty! by jpegmafia R - ratatata by baron black & auer I - i wanna know by tea E - e. coli by the alchemist & earl sweatshirt N - no home by cullah
aaand here are some random songs im obsessed with currently maybe (hopefully) you'll like them as well ^________^
father neptune - connie converse lil' red riding hood - sam the sham & the pharaohs all i need - clams casino
thank you so much!!!! <33333
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chiscaralight · 19 days
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older brother!sukuna x reader. size kink, mentions of manhandling, younger brother!yuuji. floor sex, mating press, prone boning, a lot of furniture breaking lol
older brother!sukuna whos starting to worry. he hasn't seen yuuji in over five minutes. he told the little fucker not to run off when they got to the park, so why is he completely out of his line of sight? he swears that when he finds that rugrat he'll-
who sighed in relief when he spotted the small pink head of hair a little while away from where he stood. he's almost flying towards him, ready to give him a hard smack on the back of his head, but stops in his tracks when he sees you.
the sun is perfectly hitting your face. your smile is beautiful as you play with his brother, and it's yuuji that waves him over first. he's smiling so hard with his missing tooth as he introduces you to the bigger man. you dust your knees off and raise your eyes and you get to actually size this man up.
he's so.. huge. he's easily more than twice your size, upper body covered by the black compression shirt he adorned. yuuji is gripping his leg, telling him all about what the two of you did, but he can't get his eyes off of you! he can't even remember why he was so pissed at the kid now. he introduces himself as sukuna . when you tell him your name, he savors it on his lips, making sure he won't forget it.
after that day, it's sukuna dragging yuuji to the park in hopes of seeing you. the days he does manage to find you, you three are spending hours together, chasing yuuji around or pushing him on the swings. but it's less of watching yuuji and more of watching you. he can't get you out of his stupid head!
the evening breeze is cool as you make your way towards the park. it's been a tough day, but coming here always calms you. it's more empty than it would've been during the day, but it's fine. you expected it to be like that. what you didn't expect, was to see older brother!sukuna on one of the benches. you approach him and greet him with that signature smile of yours.
he doesn't know why he chooses to lie. he tells you this brother has some friends over and as much as he loves him, five little kids running around isn't his ideal weekend night. so you offer for him to come over! it's only for a short while, right? and your house would be much more comfortable than the hard park bench.
who's relishing your space. the entire place smells like you and his head starts to spin. he's looking around when you leave to change, touching and inspecting what he can. you have so many little things and he can see a little bit of you in everything.
older brother!sukuna who's trying his best to keep his eyes off the exposed skin of your thighs. his head is locked on straight, eyes not even comprehending what's playing on the screen. he thinks he's doing a good job, but you're asking him what's wrong, the thick vein on his neck is starting to worry you! when he finally turns to you, he mumbles a low fuck it and decides to kiss you anyways. and best believe he's very pleased when you kiss back, soft mewl flowing into his mouth.
older brother!sukuna whos prone boning you! he's pounding you into the bed so hard, and he can barely hear the way you whine at him, telling him he's going to break your bed frame!
"do you want me to fucking stop?"
"no, no! please n-"
"then shut up and take it, woman."
older brother!sukuna who does with you what he pleases. he's pulling out of you and scooping you up into his lap. when you're set right, he's hooking his big arms under your knees so he can have full access to that sweet cunt. he doesn't even give you a moment to get used to how thick he is! he's plowing into you from below, and you're so small under him, he could literally keep you up with just one hand! every noise you make, every squeeze of your fingers around his big wrist, and every cry of his name is only fueling him harder and harder.
when you cum around him. the guttural groan he lets out is causing you to twitch hard. he doesn't stop though, hips still pistoning in and out of you until he's spilling up into you. it's not until the both of you are cleaned up and laid down that you notice the dip in the mattress. did he actually break your fucking bed??
older brother!sukuna who leaves early because he needs to check on yuuji. he promises he will be back later, and you cross your arms and tell him it better be with a new damn bed frame.
and he actually does! you're seated off to the side as you watch him work and put everything back into place. it looks as good as new! but your attention is more on his broad, naked shoulders. your house wasn't that hot, but you may or may not have turned the heat up so he'd have to take that shirt off.
your fingers brush against his upper arm as you purr out a thank you. you're pressed up so close to him, and you have to crane your neck so far back to meet his eyes. they're already looking into yours.
older brother!sukuna who decided to fuck you on the floor this time. he worked hard to fix that frame! he's not about to do it all over again because the mating press he has you in is almost killing. the way you're clamping down on him isn't helping, because it's making him fuck into you so hard you swear you'll end up with a kid.
you groan as his hands massage your back. maybe the floor wasn't a good idea, but you can't sit here and complain when he's feeling you up-sorry. massaging you like this.
older brother!sukuna who doesn't break your bed next time! he breaks the wood frame of your couch instead. he's telling you not to worry, he'll buy you 15 couches if he needs to. just keep your pretty lips around his cock like this and he'll buy you a new house if you ask nicely enough.
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supercutszns · 9 months
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a place with you; luke castellan
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wc: 2.8k (got a little carried away whoops)
pairing: luke castellan x f! reader
synopsis: luke is used to people coming in and out of hermes’ cabin without a second thought. so when you’re having a hard time adjusting to camp life, he doesn’t expect you to stick by his side, even after you’re claimed.
warnings/notes: shy reader going through a tough time, hurt/comfort, pining, kisses, fluff, potential ooc luke i don’t know what i’m doing, most of this is prob inaccurate lol, i got wayyy too attatched to this i am sorry, title inspired by dragon eyes by adrianne lenker
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Luke Castellan is the son of a messenger. He’s used to delivering, passing things along, letting them enter his life and leave him. Sometimes it makes him angry. At his father, at the world, at himself.
So when you passed through the Hermes cabin for the inevitable few weeks before getting claimed by your Godly parent, the last thing Luke expected was for you to stay.
When you first got to camp you were terrified. Luke remembers that much. He can still picture you in Chiron’s towering shadow as he led you up to Hermes cabin. He gave you the usual spiel about the cabin, the land of the unclaimed, but it clearly hadn’t quelled your nerves. You were wringing your fingers together when Luke first spotted you, your eyes blown wide in what he knew as shock and a sort of . . . grief. For a life you’d left for what Luke knows as a life you’d never really have. He’d seen it in so many campers before you. He’d see it many times after.
“This is Luke, Hermes’ head counsellor and one of Camp Half-Blood’s finest,” Chiron pointed him out to you at the entrance. After Chiron introduced you, Luke held your name in his memory. Not because there was anything particularly intriguing about you at first, to be honest, because he’d seen a lot of people like you that needed help settling in (although maybe not many his age). It was harder for some people to adjust than most. He knew that better than anyone.
“Nice to meet you,” he stuck out his hand for you to shake after Chiron left. “I’m Luke.”
You sniffed, shaking it without looking at him. You were so, so embarrassed. This whole time you’d been too stupidly overwhelmed to process anything. Why was this so hard for you? Was it this hard for everyone? “Hi,” you managed, and that was it.
Now, weeks after your first meeting, you’ve concluded that it was not, in fact, this hard for everyone. The camp is crowded but full of life. You’ve never seen more happy kids in your life. There’s a sense of community on the wind.
So why can’t you feel it? Why is it so hard to connect with people? To participate in the fun? Everywhere you look there’s people but it’s all just so . . . lonely. You don’t fit. You’re lost.
Luke wakes up at night when the cabin door creaks open. He’s already tossing, so it’s no surprise he catches it. Unfortunately, he’s supposed to be a good counsellor—sneaking out at night is against the rules, and you’ve gotta reign the strays back in before they cause a ruckus. Sure, Luke’s not exactly a stickler for the law, but the least he owes is to make sure everyone’s safe.
Groaning, he draws himself out of the comfort of his bunk but doesn’t get far when he spots a familiar silhouette slipping out the door. He knows it’s you. He’s been hearing crying at night, and this is confirming his suspicions. It makes him ache in a million different places. Every time he thought about approaching you he shut himself down almost instantly, because who the hell wants some random guy coming up to them in the middle of the night and drawing attention?
This time, though, he’s a little worried.
It’s chilly tonight but not too bad, especially when you’re huddled up in a ball on a hill in front of the lake, grass tickling your ankles. Your tears keep you warm.
It’s a sorrow that feels bottomless. You don’t know what’s gotten into you. You don’t know why everything’s so hard.
There’s a scuffling of shoes, and your name is carried to you on the heels of a breeze. Oh God. There’s someone else here.
You sniff and smear your tears on the palms of your hands the best you can but a little part of you only wants to cry more now that you’re all anxious, and you only have a few seconds to collect yourself before you turn around and see Luke, your cabin leader, with furrowed brows. “Oh, h-hi, Luke.” It’s hard to ignore the splinter in your voice. You curse yourself a thousand times.
“Hey,” he says hesitantly, eyeing you in a way that makes you feel entirely exposed. “You, uh, you know you’re not technically supposed to be out here, right?”
You start to scramble to your feet with an apology on your tongue but surprisingly he laughs, a gentle sound, and beckons you to sit back down. “No, no, I’m not gonna get you in trouble or anything, just . . . letting you know.”
It’s uncertain if you should keep sitting, but you decide to because well, you’re already down here, and things can’t go lower than this. Luke comes to sit next to you and you stare out into the sea like your life depends on it. “Wanna talk about why you’re out here?”
“Wh-what do you mean?”
“I mean,” Luke sighs, scooting a little closer to you. “Most people don’t up and leave in the middle of the night because they’re having a great time.”
The answer is too hard to say so you don’t reply.
Again, Luke sighs, and you try not to look at the shadow the moon casts on his admittedly handsome face. “It’s hard settling in, I know. It happens to a lot of people. I’ve . . . I’ve seen a lot of them, and it doesn’t get any easier.”
“Well it sure seems easier,” you snap, and your self-control flies away before you can stop it. “I have no idea why I can’t just suck it up and fit in here. Everyone seems so happy and it’s driving me nuts because I’m just so confused on why I can’t—why I can’t—process any of it.” Tears burn your eyes. “I’m just miserable. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
In the corner of your view, Luke’s face falls. “I’m your guide, you know that, right? I can help you.”
You sniff, embarrassingly pathetic. “I know.”
He comes even closer. “So why didn’t you ask?”
“Because I—I don’t know, you’re busy all the time with all the people in there, so I’m sure your job’s already stressful as is, so—”
“My job is to help you,” he says, a hand on your shoulder. “That’s what I signed up for. If you need something, I’m the one to ask.”
“I’m not sure you signed up for me crying like a baby,” you swallow, the ripples of the lake blurring together. “I mean, I’m like, older than half the kids here, and they’re all so much better than me. I’m not good at a—anything, and I’ve tried it all, and nobody’s claimed me yet, and I feel so weird and old and alone and . . .” It’s too much to think about so you dig the heels of your palms into your eyes, hoping the sting wards off the thoughts. “What if I’m nothing? Why am I here?”
You’re crying again, hiccuping into your hands. Shame sears into you. Luke’s arm curls around your shoulders and you realize how cold you are when he’s warm, so warm, and you want to cry even harder. You don’t even know him, but it’s the most tenderness you’ve received in what feels like years. “Hey, deep breaths,” he murmurs, rubbing your arm with his other hand. “It’s okay. Look at me.”
It takes a ridiculous amount of strength to heed him. His hand catches your cheek and you can’t bear to pull away. Something strange rustles in your stomach.
Luke’s taught instinct when faced with situations like these is to reassure that the Gods always have a plan. But he doesn’t feel like much of a liar tonight. Both his hands steady your face towards his, your skin damp and cold beneath his thumb. “It's not your fault. It always takes a little bit of time for people to get claimed, it’s never . . . well, you can never tell.”
“What if I don’t get claimed?” You say it so quiet you can pretend it was imaginary.
His eyes crinkle at the sides when he says, “Well, Hermes’ll always have a place for you.”
I’ll, Luke wants to say, I’ll. His father is not responsible for his cabin’s kindness.
“No one really prepares you for how overwhelming this is,” he continues, thumb rubbing the apple of your cheek. Your vision is clearer now, and Gods, he is handsome, isn’t he? Even when his eyes are forlorn. “It’s harder in a way when you’re older. More to leave behind. Less to look forward to. It’s easier when you have a friend. Or a great cabin head.” He tilts his head with a faint smile, “Lucky for you, I’m both.”
It almost makes you laugh, and that’s enough. “It’ll get easier,” he promises softly. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
Your cheeks burn. It’s hard to keep his gaze, so you blot at your eyes with your hands as Luke gently slides his off your face. “Thank you. Sorry for, um, all that. And the crying.”
He chuckles, “Don’t even worry about it.” You watch him rise in the throes of starlight. He offers you a hand. “Aren’t you cold?” He asks after pulling you up, and you sheepishly nod your head. He tosses you a sweater he’s been wearing, and it smells like firewood. Nostalgic, in a way. “I’m gonna poke around for some tea. Wait for me back at the cabin.”
Before he leaves, he squeezes your arm and that thing happens again in your stomach. “No need to be embarrassed, by the way. You can come to me anytime. I’m probably less busy than I look.” As he walked away, he added, “And don’t worry about the crying. You’re pretty either way.”
Either way. The tea doesn’t seem important anymore because your face is on fire.
Time reveals that Luke is right. He is a great cabin leader and a friend, and it’s hard to tell which he’s better at. You fall in with him right away. Soon enough, you’re drawn into your new life, so slowly you barely realize it’s happening. The days get shorter and you start wishing they were longer. The nights get easier. And when they’re not, Luke tucks you into his bunk and folds you in his arms until you drift off. You pick up a bow. A sword. Luke tells you to straighten your shoulders with a hand on the small of your back, and you swear it always lingers. You braid garlands of carnations for your cabin mates and they wear them with pride. It’s warm, your cheeks hurt from smiling, and things start to feel like home.
Until you’re claimed.
Now you’re a ghost in Hermes cabin, another empty bunk to be filled, and Luke stares at it until he can remember every last detail of what it looked like when it was yours. A beautiful, gentle daughter of Demeter, no longer in arms’ reach. He should’ve seen it coming.
He sees you with your siblings all the time. You’re so happy and he envies it. You belong there, he knows that, the way your face lights up at the dinner table and how you giggle when your half-sister presents you a flower. But sometimes your eyes wander, and something inside them dulls, until you look at him, too.
Luke’s place at camp is to be nothing but a funnel for lost campers to find their home. He’s a temporary stop in everybody’s journey. He’d made peace with it a long time ago. But here you are, messing it all up, because you still don’t leave him.
You beg him to give you another sword-fighting lesson. You sit next to him at bonfires. You pick him for partner camp activities. It doesn’t matter how many younger boys want to latch onto him for guidance—he sees you heading towards him, and he can’t imagine choosing anyone else.
But you’re always whisked away by your siblings, separated at meals and in sleep and in activities so it’s never, ever enough. Why did he delude himself into thinking you’d stay forever?
After weeks of distance from you, he’s elated when you have even a fraction of a conversation. “Hey, Luke!” You call out to him, and he finds you instantly. You’ve broken away from your siblings to get to him.
“Hey,” he smiles, and hopes he doesn’t look too pleased.
You lean a little towards his ear, and you smell like every wonderful thing in the world. “Can we hang out tonight? On the hill?” You’re a little bashful when you say it and it’s entirely endearing. Even now, you’re still so unsure. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” he says almost instantly, and it makes you look less nervous. “Yes. Absolutely. But don’t get caught breaking curfew now, you hooligan.”
Someone calls your name and you give a curt, playful nod. “Yes sir, camp counsellor sir!” He carries your laugh close to his heart until night falls.
You’re already there when he arrives, a vision in the moonlight before he even sees your face. “Hey, angel.”
When you turn around you look flustered. He won’t pretend like it doesn’t flatter him. “H—hi, uh, hello.”
There’s a moment where the world is still. The two of you, alone, for the first time in ages.
He sits down next to you, and it’s like the first time all over again. You get to talking, about your days, your anecdotes, your cabins. The strangeness of it all. “It’s so weird waking up in the morning and not having you yapping in my ear,” you remark, and he teasingly pushes your shoulder.
“Well, one of us has to be the talker, and it’s clearly not you,” he retorts.
You fiddle with blades of grass between your fingertips, weaving them together. “I’ll have you know I had a cabin-wide conversation about Capture The Flag yesterday, and I contributed greatly.”
“Oh, really?” He grins, knocking your elbow to steal your attention. “Look at you, coming out of your shell. I’m so proud.”
It’s hard to hold his gaze for more than a second. You’re afraid you’ll do something stupid if he keeps looking at you like that, but you almost want to. “Oh, shut up.”
He puts a hand on your shoulder. “No, I’m serious. I’m proud.” His eyes rake over your face. “You’re flourishing. You found your place.”
You can’t stop yourself from saying, “I kind of miss my old one.”
There’s a way he studies your expression that makes you feel utterly helpless. You wish you could dish it back to him, but you know you just look awestruck whenever you stare at him for so long. He’s quieter when he replies, “I miss it, too. A lot. Sometimes, I—” His face scrunches up like he just tasted something sour. “Nevermind.”
Frowning, you prod, “What? What is it?”
He sighs and turns to the horizon. This is the first time you’ve ever seen him struggle. “Sometimes, I wish you hadn’t been claimed. Sorry, that’s . . . that’s awful, I know.”
His surprise is evident when you say, “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t either.”
He turns back to you. “Really?”
“Really,” you nod, staring at the beads on his necklace. “You’re the only reason I’ve adjusted here at all.”
“Don’t sell yourself short.”
“It’s true. And I miss you.” A few months ago you would’ve kicked yourself for saying this. But Luke has a way of inspiring confidence in people.
“I miss you, too. So much.” He gently prys the grass you’ve been weaving out of your hands, now a small necklace. “But look at how talented you are. I’ll tell you, I’m lucky you’re still sticking around. For most people, Hermes is touch-and-go.”
Luke leans forward to tie the garland around your neck, and your pulse picks up. “This isn’t about Hermes, Luke,” you try to be firm but it comes out soft. “It’s about you.”
His hands stop fiddling and rest on your neck. When he speaks, you can feel his breath on you. And you have no idea that he’s been waiting to hear that his whole life. “What’s about me?”
It’s not fair, your inability to string sentences together only worsens right when a beautiful boy is this close to you. “Hermes isn’t—it’s not special because of your father, it’s special because of you.”
There is nothing else you can possibly think of saying with the way his fingers trace up your neck and hold your jaw. “Yeah, well,” he murmurs, “The only reason anything in my life is special is because of you.”
You don’t know if it’s a lie or not; you don’t care. His nose nudges yours. There’s a moment where you wonder if this is as close to Elysium you’ll ever get. Then he slips a hand to the back of your neck and pulls you to his mouth.
He kisses you in a near fury, then when he knows you’re not going anywhere, it’s the gentlest thing you know. It’s hard to believe this is even happening. Your hands weave through his curls but he holds you steady, and thank the Gods for that because you’re pretty sure you’re melting. You kiss again, and again, and again, until you genuinely think you’re going to pass out and you have to pull away.
“Aw, look at you,” he murmurs when you can’t meet his eyes, a playful lilt in his voice. “Still so nervous.”
“Would you shut up?” You press your face into the crook of his neck with a huge smile.
He kisses the top of your head. “Love to, angel.”
Luke Castellan is the son of a messenger. He’s supposed to believe he’s bringing the best of humanity to the Gods and glory above.
But screw the Gods. He’s keeping this one for himself.
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epiphanytear · 1 year
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3, 13, and 21 pls! (from the music ask)
3:A song that reminds you of summertime
I Reach For The Sun- Yuki Kajiura (sung by Emily Bindiger)
13:One of your favorite 80’s songs
Open Arms - Journey
21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the title
Anna Rose - Vienna Teng
Send me music asks
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